Bad Friends - Spider Person & The Marvel DC Crossover

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & https:/harrys.com/badfriends  http://hellotushy.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends Watch Yannis Pappas' Mom Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArlCFemEDvQ 0:00 Live Stream Announcement and Andrew's Last Tour Dates 1:17 Yannis Pappas and The Midnight Shoot 5:59 Bobby's Street Knowledge  15:13 God Bless Ray Liotta  18:33 Female Hero Owen Grey 24:25 Bobby and Yannis Sexy Moves 41:15 Wonder Wolverine Audition 51:15 Star Wars in New York 55:03 Yannis's Special is Out 1:01:48 Bobby and the Deep State 1:11:07 Top Gun and Tom Cruise More Yannis Pappas Long Days Podcast: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas Twitter: https://twitter.com/yannispappas Tickets and More: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You guys you guys bad friends is finally gonna do the best live stream the best live stream show ever been done You think that trash Tuesday had a good one you think that fucking bird crisis had a good one you thought you think that Segura and the house house Word you're watching right? When is it Bobby? When is it? It's gonna be Tuesday June 28th at 6 p.m. PST Tuesday June 28th 6 p.m. Pacific sasas time get get your tickets at moment house comm slash bad friends There is an early bird special for the first 48 hours. So get your tickets right now at moment house Com slash bad friends. We have so many surprises. We can't say what they are We have a bunch of stuff planned and someone's gonna be on the show that you've never seen before

Get your tickets right now early bird special moment house comm slash bad friends. What up bad friends? I'm at this shit hole Hawaii But I'll be in New Jersey this weekend and Niagara Falls Andrew Santino comm Andrew Santino Dot-com be a bad friend come see your boy Jersey Niagara New York. Let's go Oh, you two are bad friends who are these two idiots? Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free awesome That's cool. These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer

You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many many many more You can make money from your podcast to no minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place Where do we have to go Bob? Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started Rudy Jules What's it like to eat with this guy? What does it feel like to watch him eat food?

All you hear is like a pig. Yeah, it's like oh, yeah You had food on your face when I came in it was like in your mustache never leave, you know Yana's so funny that I you know, I felt like I bend over backwards for you for this Do you know you attacked me? I know I Attacked you by bending over back as you mean having me come here at midnight Really appreciate the accommodation. Yeah, you're like you available at 11 11 30 1145. How about three in the morning? You know what this coward did he call he called me and literally go or I called him because fancy was like I know he can do the podcast at the time that I miss he's gonna be a midnight

I was like, oh my god Are we gonna have to reschedule this thing and this guy could literally I call him and I go what's the deal? And he goes well, I could still do it at midnight And but but will you see and then he goes what will you call will you call you honest? I go you call daddy? You're the one changing the time right? You call him But Carlos Carlos and Andreas do what did you do? Remember what we talked about the LA LA acts. Yeah, this is the guy That's the guy at LA acts. What do you oh my god? Did he kill himself? No? He was he was sleeping and that was right when we were landing. Oh, it's shut down. That's you. Yeah, wait

Did he jump? No, he didn't jump. He was just sleep either do it or don't do it. Come on I like that. That's emo. You shouldn't have to be emoing it out. He wants the attention You shouldn't have to donate like police resources to that just like go like all right do it or not Yeah, you haven't done anything. It's like when you when Chris Hansen comes over. It's like you arrest me. I haven't done anything All right, what's all the fucking? Well, let me ask you something about Chris Hansen. How much do you like pizza with young people? The way he broaches the questions are always so funny and he catch it's like why it's I've seen a few where the guys don't even lie Yeah, where he's like, you know, you know, you know, you know why I'm here and he's like I sure do you guys got me Is there a chance that one guy it's just it's just just once he just want no he really wanted to be their friend

You he's like, you know, no, I saw online and she was lost and I just wanted to be her friend That's why I came over there guys gotta be one guy They always try that and then he pulls out the trans Text messages are in there like I didn't know you had that Says here. I want to fuck your kitty cat young pussy. Is that you? Yeah, are you yeah, are you Hulk dude 27? Do you ever see that old there's an old like synagogue orthodox Jewish man careful. Yeah, why I can't say that And he sees the camera comes out and you could see his whole life flashed before his eyes

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, you know, I mean I have a business and I you know, I mean people at church You know, I mean it was so it's so you watch some you watch them crumble I it is it's fun to watch people crumble. You know what we're talking about No, it was a show called to catch a predator Yeah, and they would set up these sting operations where they would get Find pedos and this is the guy. He's like hi. I'm Chris Hansen and he kind of talked very slow You know, what's so funny? I never understood the title to catch a predator. Just what about catching predator catching a predator Yeah, well, it was so formal. It's like an answer in jeopardy. Yeah

There's a there's a bunch of like these shows now that are on YouTube. They're like imitation shows the guy It's the group the guy the renegade group. Yeah, this is quite a while There's like a group of renegade guys that do this There's there well There's a nonprofit that they run that does this independently without the help of the police Mmm, and what they do is then they compile us information. They bust them locally somewhere And then they try to get the police to go there. I don't know what the name would be of this There's a few of them one one of them my old producer when I first started doing long days

He was a cameraman for it and it's this is guy in Jersey and he catches these guys and none of them speak English They're like Mexican guys that live in Jersey. Whoa, whoa, of all the Texas Oh my god, easy do and he makes them call their wives and oh that's good But you know what they're in Spanish, so you don't know what they're saying because I'm going to the store I'll be home in 15 minutes. I have a question. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's terrible to do To fuck it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah terrible. Right. It's can I just say that yeah loud. Yeah, it's fucking terrible Yeah, but it's like, you know, but it's like is there a but it's like this should be no butt after that No, there's no qualifiers. I know but um, what?

I'm just saying if I had a daughter, right, I don't think that she would be Coerced into that situation like that. She'd be smart. Yeah. Well, that's our time. Thank you guys You think you're the pinnacle of like well to do knowledge street knowledge that you it would transfer to your youth and they would never put Themself in a harmful situation. Oh, no both and that's offensive what you just said. Yeah, you're you're saying to me Is you're an idiot? No, that's very offensive what you're saying. It's a fact I'll tell you the worth of the offenses go ahead. That's is that you think that I'm gonna bring any of my garbage into parenting Yes, no, I'm changing my shit, bro. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm waking up at eight. Fuck Formula ad there's one reason you're waking up at eight that you gotta feed them

I think if you had a baby, your baby would think like breakfast was at 4 p.m Her friends would be like I'm having breakfast. You're like what are you eating at night? Yeah, it's my daddy's nighttime Yeah, yeah, we play you know what instead of playing Stardew Valley. We do a co-op farm. That's cute That's cute, right do a little sim city together some city farm, right? But I'm not gonna bring any of my garbage into the fucking Ironically, we have a child of yours here in the studio What's it like? What's it like being raised by Bobby? You met I met him four times. That's another things. You'd have to be present to raise the kid You're on the road. Yeah, we don't really talk. I don't talk to Titi Bobby like yeah in the house. He just goes. It's so fuck. Don't cut her off. Oh shit. What the fuck are you doing? You don't want to eat, huh?

You like food, bitch? Sorry We don't the bed. Tempur-pedic. We bought it. Papa. All right You have not what you should call Appa? Papa. Yeah, Appa's dad too. Yeah, it's very Korean it Korean for daddy. Yeah, yeah, be honest with me Not daddy was the one that doesn't talk you. Oh, so you're She's like, you don't talk. You're the one you're saying to me. Okay. You know what that? I'm glad you said that because tomorrow

We're gonna have a talk fest Yeah, you and I gonna sit across from the kitchen table and we're gonna do a four-hour session boy You're you gonna regret that whole fucking yeah, all right. You're not gonna do that. Oh I am gonna do that. Okay. Oh, yeah, really? Attitude is fucking Okay, I would side note a couple of great things. I want to talk to you about Cryed in the movie theater not kidding for a full 10 minutes with what movie because it's the greatest film that should win multiple Oscars and it's in theaters right now

Dr. Strange everything Everywhere all at all. I heard it's great is unequivoc- have you seen? No, my dog I'm not kidding when I say this. It's the greatest movie I've seen in your creative beautiful It's it's a fucking spectacle and it's whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You didn't tell me it was an Asian movie You know, can I tell you yeah, yeah, she happens to be Asian Jamie Lee Curtis is in it. Oh, okay, then I'll watch but they're mixed thing. No, no, no No, there is it's mostly it's mostly Asians. Yeah, is it Trent is in Asian language. No, no. Hey fuck face I'm just so yeah speaks English. Okay. Okay. No, no, no, but yeah, the first half is in Chinese

So you gotta read subtitles you gotta read subtitles All right, and all this it's in Chinese in the first and all the subtitles say like Obey China obey China over and over crazy crazy. Yeah, but I'll say but what I do want to say about this movie Genuinely from bottom my heart. Yeah, she is so fucking talented to a level that is it will break your soul I try my parents our parents are in a different generation. I was trying to explain this because Look what you're seeing there is in another dimension There's a lot of that metaphysical transformation in this that deals with the real world and also this dimension Interdimensional world of like who you are in other lifetimes

But it's representing the problems that they're dealing with in our current life and the the the the whimsy again in films You're like, this is what weirdo movies used to be like where they did crazy shit and you were like, oh Sounds like some art house shit to me. I want to see some fucking explosions This Is Schwarzenegger in it you guys you guys are definitely both predators that's for sure Yeah, um, can I talk to you for a second from the multiverse thing that the marvel was doing Okay, let me ask you that Isn't it asian month isn't this is a api month or it's ap plus or it's c plus plus

Whichever math that they do no Asian American Pacific Island May 1st to May 31st It is the fucking month of your people and here you are Fucking me off on an all Asian casted film. Fuck you. You fucking shit Korean. You're a shit Korean self-hating Korean You really are piece of shit. I really want to watch it. You should because you know what let me say to my camera I love Asians they are I have my heart grows thicker as I've done this podcast with all my Asian people and Uh, Bobby has diverted away from becoming uh, whole with the community. So except me remove him He's not an uncle. Tom. He's an uncle

You're an uncle tang and you know it. Yeah, um, listen here uncle wong That's just like Asian Appreciation with whatever for nobody to know about it because Asians are very demure. They don't make a lot of But stop Asian hate was they were loud about that one. Who did that? Was that the whites? That was the whites that did yeah the whites the Asians did it It would have been a lot Could you think we could do a stop white hate? Yeah, let's start it now Yeah, just my question was stop Asian hate. Why didn't they just use their karate?

You know what they did they as you take that off and have the most Asian hair Yeah Looks like you were in karate slippers with that hair It was funny how Black Lives Matter was a a big campaign that was moving heavily. Yeah, and out of nowhere stop Asian hate. What about me? Yeah, snuck in like a ninja in the middle of the night Get out of here BLM. Yeah, but you know what? We want everyone to be treated equally including Rudy's

Including people from the islands. Let me ask you honest, you know growing up. Did you hook up with Asian girls? Um, it's a big no Yeah, I paused I have I have hooked up with a few. Yes full or half. Um a couple of full. What kind? Oh, it's short. What kind of Asian? Oh, I didn't get it. You don't get that far. I didn't get that far. Yeah Do you remember a last name? We can blank it because we can figure out what with the last name or the first name because he's Yeah, I'm pretty good at it. He's pretty good. It was either a Chan or a chow or yeah, Chinese Chinese. Yeah Yeah, and why didn't it work out? Um You know different cultures, you know, yeah, you know, why don't you say we were in different?

We were in different that sideways vagina fucks you up every time. Yeah, that does and we were in different tracks in school I had to go to this local and she went to like the special She was you know, I was in the special I was in the low track And she was in the all Asian track right you think were you held back in school for real? I was stupid I wasn't a Asian which by the way, I went to my brother-in-law's graduation. He's gonna be a doctor There is no diversity in those smart schools. It I remember the non-Asian names And congratulations Sharifa and Kelly Constantino

Everything else was just yeah one name after another get you know Kelly Tang Child it was just like Asians are crushing it dude. Whatever the parents are doing at home making you sleep outside They're physically abusing them. Yeah, they're bullying them into doing well Otherwise, they'll punish them for the rest of their life's relationship wise. Yeah This that movie kind of has a lot of that in that it has like a Chinese immigrant family Who is disappointed in their daughter and they don't even live up to their own expectation? Yeah, and all we have is like fucking Gary V going like grind. We're like that doesn't work I need to be hit and be told to stay outside and my parents need to have come here with three cents in their pocket

And that's the reason I'll work that guy that guy. Yeah, that's enough. That's enough of that guy And you know what's great about that movie too is you gotta fucking you know what you have to fucking do sell your shoes Sell your fucking shoes off your feet and fucking dead. Then you're then you start a business That guy's so fucking annoying. I can't get rid of this guy. I mean god bless the work He's trying to do I get it, but he's just uh, what's going on you take your pants off? Yeah, it's your mic Sometimes I wonder why the show is taking a dive Then I'm reminded by a wet fart into the microphone

But you know what's great about the movie too is that um, it's a return of um Data or short round from indiana jones. He's in the movie. Correct. You know who else is in there Uh, the older guy james hong james hong james hong james hong wait. Yeah james hong got it right. Yeah, he is So good. This stephanie sue though the young girl that plays the daughter so dope Yeah, I want to watch everyone's telling you to watch it. Yeah, it's so good, dude. Honestly My whole thing was because it a 24 doesn't miss. They fucking they don't fucking miss and you're on a a 24 show too I am on an a 24. Well, I'm not on it. I'm a guest star on a fucking a 24. He's on it Oh, you know, he's on now. I know why you like this movie so much

I'm surrounded by asians dude cross promo a couple of months with ali wang and you just can't you know I mean you just you really get sucked into the people. Yeah, um, they're good people I mean also by the way, let's say let's say our peace god bless one of the greats of all time passed away this morning Oh What the fuck man? Do you know he died in his schlept? So Would you want to die in your sleep? I think about that I was talking to my buddy scott today and we were together and we were chatting about and he was like He died in his sleep and he goes, I guess it's a pretty good way

I don't I want to be awake when I die you do why because I want to know it's real because otherwise if you die in your sleep What is that? Who knows if you ever know That's the best way. That's the best way not knowing. I don't know the horror of knowing i'm dying Yeah, you're gonna die. I'd rather see it happen and go i'm dying. I want to know I thought you meant you'd rather see him dying so you could you know, I'm gonna watch this They're gonna call me She's gonna call Bobby's not doing so well

And then you know, I'm fucking I'm full speed in my car. I want to see it. I want to see it Valet the car get up there and bobby's like Adriel you're the only person that came to see me I'm like, I know baby boy and I rub your little Korean head and I rub you as you slowly pass away And no one's there. It's just me and you in the room and the moment that you pass away. What do I do start filming and put it on I'm filming it. You got it. You gotta monetize it. Yeah the moment you die. I do what you do your dad I take a selfie with your dead body Be huge dude, you know that this guy took a selfie with his dad the moment after he died. That's not what that wasn't my fault though

My mom goes therapy. You took the picture. I know but she was like therapy now. Yeah, but you could have gone No, it's my mom. She's in grief. You were amped. I did smile In the photo, he's like they're like, hey We did it. Yeah, um Yeah, it's a moment. I think yana's you're right because if you go to sleep and then you're just dead You don't you the trauma of knowing you're gonna die is that not there? Yes I just think I want to know what's gonna. What do you what do you want Rudy? Do you want to see yourself because I want to know this is it this is the end and I kind of would feel a piece like

Okay, this is it but in your sleep. How do you know you could be skipping lives and why do you want to know though? What what does it happen in any which undeniable? Yeah, but what do you want to like? You want to get your fairs in order in that moment? Like what's no, I just want to like I want to see You know, I want to know what the last piece of time is for me on the earth I want to see it instead of being in a dream state. I also sleep poorly orgasm I want to die when I'm having an orgasm Not in my sleep. Okay, right. I'm looking at the girl's eyes girls eyes Kalyla

A girl's eyes my girl's eyes a girl's eyes the one that I'm seeing Is what I meant to say you could I mean who knows what you know who knows right any girls are you looking at porno? What are you doing over there? Yeah, but I mean And that's what you want, but you're not taking into account what she wants. No, but that's she doesn't want a corpse on top But that's what I want. That's so she's gonna just like I want to leave a mark You hear me? She needs to go to therapy. Right, right? It's gonna scar her. It will right. I'll leave a little mark Yeah, right. She already has a corpse when he's on top of her. That's like that. It's he fishes all around He flop fishes all around anyway. She's go bob. Are you alive?

Yeah, I'm still here. I'll you can dive be a little good. I know you don't buddy. I don't do I dude. I don't think do you? I mean, I don't find I think it's fine. I'm not good. I'm sure I'm certainly not like skilled I started watching this guy Owen gray who like women love it's like yeah, let's see that Yeah, all women all straight women used to watch lesbian porn because it was softer Yeah, yeah until Owen gray came into the picture and changed the fucking game and he makes them come over and over and over again And I started watching this guy. I'm like, oh my god, dude. We are all We are all underperforming. I gotta tell you

I've seen I've seen this guy women good tatted up guys skinny tatted up guys. Yes. He's amazing I got a scar on his chest and he fucking he holds like a massage Thing on their clit and he bangs them and is he a porn star? Yes. He's like a women. He's like he's more than a porn So he's like a female hero Rudy, go ahead. You're nodding go ahead and speak up. Yeah, how do you saw his movies? Of course. She has yeah his movies But you saw you see this penis going on vagina. Yeah, that's what a porno is bud. I know, but why are you watching porn like that? Does she's a grown-up? What the fuck are you talking about? I know, but You're right. I thought she was his daughter though. She kind of is my daughter though

It's your knee. It's his knees by proxy, but she's 20 years old. You'll be 21. Yeah, when are you 21 November? Yeah, she's a fucking grown-up. We she's are like our daughter Yeah, but also, you know, she's watching all this bullshit. What are you gonna? I mean, that's like whatever you think What were you doing when you were way younger than her? You were fucking piece of shit. Yeah, you were a piece of shit I was a pile of shit. Yeah, dude. So let her fucking watch Owen Gray do his dance. Yeah, you liked it, huh? Yeah Yeah, is his penis long? Yeah. No, he's the only porn star with a really She's penis. Yeah. Yes. Is it girthy? Yeah, it's magical It's got a Gandalf vibe. It's got a wizardry. Now. This is interesting because he's a white and you don't like whites

I think him and Harry Styles is don't two whites. That's all we get. Yeah, they transcend if he Wanted to make love to you. You wouldn't let him. Yeah Yeah So we got two whites on the board. We should have a board back here that says whites that could bone Rudy Because honestly, that's only the two whites you've ever named that you're okay. He's he does like it's like a social service for women When you watch it, it's like all he's just taking care of them. It kind of scares me. Yeah They're just like oh good. They're vibrating. They're like they're going nuts. He's like just making him calm And I'm just watching like I don't do any of that. I don't even watch it masturbate. I just watch and take no

I just learn a little bit. Yeah, you've never made a woman calm. I have but it's like by accident I've done it by accident. I've done it like a few times. I can count. I can remember them Are you guys both being serious? Yeah You don't try that's not I've tried You do it. You do it all the time every time. What are you gay? Like the girls always roll their eyes Yeah, are you done? Yeah, and then they maybe ask like uh, I did it. Okay, let's not every time if you're like Like you're just like hooking up with someone when you're single

But like the person that you're married to or with with uh, yeah, dude, you got to make them come. Really? Yeah, if you're the thing Hey, man, hey when you're in florida and you need it to order something door dash every second of any day Every second of the day. What do you need? You can get it deodorant snacks toothpaste drinks Food household essentials. I mean, whatever you want. You want chinese food. You want pizza. Whatever you got Yeah, yeah for you for you for you. Oh, you love for you door dash They got you with the restaurants you love right now and right to your door And now you can get the grocery essentials you need with door dash to get drinks snacks and other household items delivered in under an hour They got over 300,000 partners in the u.s. Puerto Rico can in australia. You can support your neighborhood go-tos

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That's code bad friends 2022 for 25 of your first order door dash subject to change terms apply better help I love better help. I use better help. Um, you know, um Life can be overwhelming andrew and many people are burned out without even knowing it symptoms can include lack of motivation Irritability fatigue and more we associate burnout with work But that's not the only cause Any of our roles in life can lead us to field burnout and better help us online therapy and they want you to prioritize yourself Look, we both have burnt ourselves out working on multiple shows and shooting and stand up and touring And if you don't take time for yourself the old noggin's gonna crack at some point

Better help us customize online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions to your therapist So you don't have to see anyone if you don't want to it's very easy It's much more affordable than in-person therapy during the pandemic and during the quarantine and stuff I mean without better help. I would have lost my mind. It really did help me and um, I still continue to use it Um, our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends. That's better H-e-l-p dot com slash bad friends 10 off their first month at better health dot com slash bad friends Yeah That was a genuine really you and I are similar in many ways. Yeah, really every time

All okay. Look almost every time. It has to be a priority for sure Okay, let's say you're you're you have you're the teach us. So we're in a class Right, we signed up. We were in new york. We're two guys that can't make guide girls come You're you're you're andrew salvador sanfino. Yeah, all right, and we take your class. Yeah Hi, um, I'm bob and this is okay asian guy. Okay, greek boy. I'll be cheating off of him Okay, yes, so what what give us some notes. Do you have any black friends? Oh, yeah, yeah guy friends. Yeah, call them over to fuck your girl You cut your way

Yeah, you you're gonna have to cut your way because you're not gonna you're not willing to put in the effort That's so fucking first of all, let me say something The only thing you're putting effort into was how the way you ate that double double before we started the show Fucking murdered that animal style If you ate pussy the way you ate in and out burgers, you'd make fucking you'd make her come listen You little asian rat with a Okay, um, I did all this for comedy sake Right, this whole show is for comedy. I know what my point is is that I've made many of the women's comes

Okay, sure. I have sure you I mean sure I can do this. I'd cook do this Cook what are you doing? You're like This work Plug your ears, right? All right, so I stick it in right I hook yeah, hook and pull you right you hook and pull right flood city and then the clit, right? I've done all that. Yeah. Yeah, and they've gone all wild. Yeah, okay

They get all hog wild they have and the mustache is like a clit tickler that work helps. Thank you so much That's why you even have it my friend. Yeah. Yeah, I've done other things as well. What are the moves that you do? I do I do do the I try to do the hook and pull hook and pull the hook and pull Yeah, you know try to get them to square and then until they go. Why are you doing that? What are you why are you seriously doing that? And I go I started a movie and they go that's not it's too hard It doesn't work. Yeah, stop it and then I stop and then I stop it. You just go you have to stop I gotta hit him a few times with an elbow. Yeah, boom right right in the neck You got it get him in the neck. That's how you get him good and then they yeah everywhere, you know

Oh, you got to hit him. You got to hit him in the neck. You got a forearm. I'm right in the neck. That's right dad Then they got to put a warning on that part Do not do that. I have a kid. There's some kid watching now going. That's what I gotta do. I knew it I knew do you guys do this and I'm embarrassed But do you ever go like when you're doing it and you're about to come? Yeah, but you don't want to so I always go I gotta I gotta stop gotta stop right now for a second. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah, and I'll pull out And I'll just kind of lay on the side of the bed and regroup. Mm-hmm. Have you done that because I've done it? Yeah, I didn't when I was younger now. I'm like trying to come you got to get out of there. Yeah

This guy's got appointments. He's got stuff going and also like I've just chafed down the nerves of my dick so much masturbation That like it's like I need more dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. I need my wife to talk That's a good sign. That's a good sign. Yeah, that means that you're still enjoying it And it's so much so that you're ready to go so fast. Remember the first time you did it. You would you go I came It was just like right when you had I come I lied. Yeah, I lied. Oh you would I lied and pretended and she was like did you already? I was like, no Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah

Yeah, I didn't happen to be in that. That's my girlfriend in high school got pregnant and we had the baby No, you didn't no, we didn't I just didn't know what I was supposed to say there because I I mean we did get we got uh, you got some schmorphman We got it. Yeah, we got it. Well, you're pro life Did you pay for it pro choice? Uh, my dad paid for it. Your dad got involved I had to like take him to bbq's and tell him some weird convos like dad I got to go pregnant and he gave me 700 bucks But did he yell at you? What's bbq's? bbq's is that like uh, you don't have bbq's out here?

I've never heard of that in my life. It's uh, it's like a barbecue restaurant like a chain I know we don't know we don't know bbq's that is frequented by a lot of people who are not white When you said bbq when you said I talked to my dad and it had to tell him about the abortion at bbq's I thought that was an abortion clinic. I was like bbq's is a weird We'll roast up that little baby right on you Yeah, roast and toast and spit fire and ghost him Yeah, welcome to bbq's abortion clinic. I'm big man

No, but you know what You did what you guys had to do. I mean, yeah, I mean we were young. It was uh, you know, I think it was Only a couple minutes That she knew she was pregnant. I'm just trying to make everyone happy. Yeah. Yeah Very hot button issue right now. I know we I'm not even sure if it happened. It might have been a dream Yeah, I might have been a fever. It might have been a fever dream. I'm not even sure if it happened now You know what concerned your dad was he? Like son, I told you the rules and pulling out. Did he do the whole like no

I think he just continued watching the game and just I think I remember him just going out of his wallet like that How much is he get the fuck out of here? He was like happy that it works He was how I just happy. I was having sex with girls. Oh, right. Did he think otherwise? Well, I had my oldest brother's gay. So I think he was hoping for one. Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to carry this Is your older brother married? No, he's fucking having a blast. He's just a buddy Did he come out earlier in life now? No, but your dad already knew he was everyone. No, he just did We didn't talk about it. That's how it worked when you had like older parents. It just wasn't well

You have immigrant parents too. So it's even harder, right? Yeah, that's a different. That's just but did you pull your brother? So I know I know your secret I well, it wasn't a secret. I know that you I could just tell by the way he dressed. Oh, oh, yeah, nice He was dressed. Well, ah So, but honestly was there a moment that he said to you, yeah, I want to talk to you about something Yeah, like I went in his room and he was like two guys were blowing each other I was like, I get I get I get it now It's a moment he couldn't yeah, did you really get you really can't know but a piece of me thinks you did yeah

Yeah, but it know we did it. Well, is that the brother that's famous don't you have a political brother or like yeah But he's not famous to me. I've seen on TV. I think no no no How do I know your brother cuz of him, you know I'm curious about how you know my brother No, I know your brother from some politics from grinder it sounds What is your brother do other guys other guys exactly you don't have a brother brother that is Famous in politics. No, I wouldn't call him semi-famous. No, I what does he do? He's him. He was in politics He worked yeah, that's how I know Obama and Clinton ministry. That's how I know him. Yeah, that's what I know

What do you mean? That's how you know? I'm like you would did you work? He worked on the campaign No, there was I swear to God I saw a documentary or something with him in there. I don't know he was definitely not a documentary Are you sure not a hundred percent sure? Yeah? Yeah, just let him have this one. I'll let him Yeah, there he was in that documentary Cuz I do it was the last dance. I do that to him all the time. Yeah at some point. He'll think it's something It's not real. I was really I should have just been going with it. Well, it's something I go. Yes, Bobby Yeah, he was yeah, I swear to God. Yeah

I for some reason or another I knew who your brother was and I knew that he was involved in politics And I know what he looks like. So how is that the possible because you googled me? Maybe? Yeah, you might have looked at my wikipedia Yeah, before I came over you like who is this fucking guy again? That's what I did. That's what it was. Yeah. Have you ever gone out partying with your brother like it like at a gay night club? No, but recently I did go to his birthday and it was like all his gay friends were there and they party different man Yeah, they party hard. You open the door. They're naked. They're doing poppers. Yeah, it's just a different vibe There's so see gay guys still do drugs. We don't do drugs anymore. They're just like oh, they're having a great time Yes, yeah, cuz there's no kids. There's no fucking everyone's got a job. Yeah, you know what I mean?

I mean if we us three were gay if uh, yeah, if we were gay, I could do it I know we would have so much fun so much fun. I mean we'd be like someone argue. It's what we're doing right now And like we could do the pod. Yeah, right and But before and after we and it would be like not not an emotional thing. Is that your gay voice? No, no He's just it's letting he's letting it over. They're just talking. He's just letting it happen Yeah, but it's like it wouldn't be an emotional thing. We just fuck. Yeah, here's my gay voice. Okay. Oh, hey. Well, so oh Hey, oh, hey, Bob Real low and smooth. Oh, I see. Hey Bob. What would mine be real fem?

Mm-hmm. Hey No, you'd be like a little like a do like a little Japanese girl Hey, keep talking. Yeah. Yeah, keep talking. Yeah Yeah Yeah And then we like Tito like you know, see why not go all the way. I just feel like Hungry for cock all the time. Yeah, I feel like a mixture of like Harvey Weinstein Tim doll But we would tell like this

In the business place, we tone it down right sure. I cannot do this in the business place Yeah, you can I can that's hot. We could sell so many shows like that. Yeah, let's go to call CBS Yeah, you would when someone's gonna make a show about three guys who choose to be gay I think in order to pitch a show there was like just go we're gay and we just become gay You can become gay, right? You don't have to be born gay now that they've like sufficiently proven that you're born gay Does that mean you can't choose it? You can still choose it. Sure. Of course. You can like you can just go. Hey, you know what? I'm fucking gonna be I'm gonna be I'm gonna start fucking guys and be gay. That's an interesting perspective

Because you can choose anything you want. Yeah, they've proven that it's signed that it's that that you are born gay But then at some point if you're like sick of this pussy. Yeah, I'm sick of this or not even if you're not you just like You know what? I want to try something. I want to do it. I want to be a gay guy Yeah, it's like that white girl from Washington who was the leader of the NAACP, but she was she was saying Rachel Exactly. Yeah, and now she's really white. Yeah, but she still insists that she's black But you know what? She feels black. She feels but the black community kind of is okay with her They kind of that looks like my sister on the left. That's like anybody I got up with but then she was like I'm black You know what the case was, you know, if you say you're black enough

You do kind of start to look black She really pulled it off for a while But you know, I think a lot of it was the way she was built. She had like such a big ass Then like I think a lot of the black guys didn't even notice she was white Sort of like the being intimidated by the Yankee pinstripes. Yeah, they just can't see Like you know, it's so fun. You know, it's so funny though. Look at how white she started out Like in the first photo right there go to the first photo the first one that we saw it's down a second row in the middle But like that's like me. That's like my skin tone. Yeah to get to where she is now

Is arduous. I mean, that's so much tanning. Yeah She should have done if you start out and you've got some real flavor in your skin Like Rudy Rudy could could tan a fuckload and then maybe try to sell it that she could if she like did the hair In a certain way and had to start speaking a certain way. I she could I if she told me she was black I mean, I got you must be a little Asian little back. Well, you might not even know what she is. What do you know what she is? Uh, exactly Chinese. Yeah, see no not even not even close. Uh, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos Keep going so close Uh, really try are you trying? Yeah, yeah, I'm trying. Okay. I've named almost every Asian country. Yeah, Korean. No

Wait, let me see. Look at he's bringing up the map of Asia. Yeah, Laos, Thailand, Filipino I should have started with that one. I'm in LA. I should have. Yeah, you should have known better in New York We put that in the back because there's like no Filipinos. I know they all come here. Yeah, there's no Filipino Well, this is so much closer in they don't have any in New York. You know, it's just a lot of mostly Chinese Yeah, that's why I saw We know why Rachel was like that though, right? Why she what she she's so identified as a black person I watched the documentary it's because

She was her parents were super religious and they adopted A bunch of black kids. Yeah, right and she saw them being like abused and psychologically abused And she wanted to save them, right? So she identified with her struggle But that was her story and based on what she did with her life. I don't know if we could take it as truth Yeah, she's got a little bit of a tendency to lie. Yeah. Yeah, so because her parents were like, no, none of that didn't happen She just kind of Said she was black and left. Yeah, that's yeah They were against it. Yeah, they were but that's also because they were probably, you know, really just crazy race

It's also possible that she just had sex with a black guy. She did. She has three kids And she was just like, I'm doing this now. Yeah, this is way more fun. Yeah, I'm doing that now But she could do that as a white girl. Why does she have to be black to do that? Well, it just turns you dude. It turns you so if you get fucked that good Oh, maybe the black dick was so black. It was like you put on a right fucking an usher The cum changed her skin changed it changed her You're me. It was like an internal kind system. Yeah, you get melanin from it Yeah, it's possible. But do you think that if that's how good black dick is that you're like, that's it. I'm going black

Yeah, you just I'm gonna be black. Yeah, but do you think a straight guy can be conditioned to like dick? Yeah, sorry Do I think a straight man? Yeah. Well, you were saying earlier like you think that like oh, he's going back to the thing He's really interested. Yeah It's like I'm just going to talk more about these dicks circle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Do you think you can be conditioned to like and of course you can yeah, but what through what? Prison is probably a big one Yeah, dicks on women. Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah a segue. You're saying it's like riding a bike with training wheels You're learning right and then at some point you got to take them off and just go full dick. Yeah

Yeah, no tits full dick. But do you think that like me? I'm fully heterosexual. Yeah. Do I think that? No, I am. That wasn't convincing Fully I am right. Yeah, but do you think that I could ever be conditioned to fully only like dick and there's not a doubt in my mind Yeah, there's not a doubt. There's not you shred of doubt. It would be tough for me because uh I just um I don't I'm trying to explain it without without Uh First of all guys are disgusting to me. Men are gross. Yeah. I mean just awful disgusting people. Yeah, and penises including my own Are just so awful looking to me. I just it's a it's just a yucky thing to look

I don't even like looking at my I close my eyes. They're not so yucky to me. Oh, okay. Well, you could have been you can be Yeah, I mean, I'm not like I don't you guys want us all to leave. Yeah I mean, yeah, they're not yucky to me either. They're not yucky Oh, yeah, the kinsie scale and we tried to the kinsie scale one on time on the show and it did prove that was bisexual that you were bisexual It did it did you were we literally proved that he was like a four to five No, it was like in the 32 42 percent. I'm 42 percent. Yeah But the kinsie scale is real. You know, this is like a real Scientific scale. They say we're all kind of on it on a spectrum. Yeah. I mean, I'm straight. I like women

But there's some vaginas. I've seen that I've been like It looks like a dick. Yeah. Oh, yeah And I've seen and some there's some uglier dicks or some handsomer dick. So I go with more like Case by case basis. I just I'd be so intimidated with the whole I just I just you know Be getting big getting penetrated scares me and it you know, I just no, thank you Well, that's not you know, there's other things that you can do At some point they're gonna want the block. I think we're grooming him I feel like I'm being sorry

It doesn't feel right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you like Rudy, but Rudy likes girls and guys I like girls and guys you like guys more Yeah, because I haven't been with the girls. So I don't know But you're attracted to women. Yeah, I think women there's it's more flexible Yeah, you know why because look what they look like look what we look like they're designed if you were a woman You you know, I mean you'd also be like, well, look at these other pretty things that put themselves together Well, yeah versus these you know, I think you have to you have to change your thinking Andrew I really do. I think you just have this like stuck, you know, the idea about certain things and I do. Yeah, correct. Yeah, open up here

I'm not opening up anything for you, buddy. All right back off with trying to force your dick in and out and around that At all. Well, I'm not gonna do it. That's crazy. I'm not gonna do it. Well, then you don't want the roll I guess I got it. Yeah Is there any roll Yeah, that I would suck or fuck for yeah, not fuck because I know you don't like penetration, right? No, I don't want that but me and Janice are producers, right? Yes. Yeah, right and we're what studio let you guys Disney So, um, and is there anything that we can offer you? Yeah, so we were looking for someone

Who just red hair. That's me. Yeah, manly little chorus. Okay. Um, Um, yeah, there's only there's just the thing americana americana We love americana with a little edge a little feisty sports fan The thing is is there's a lot that we have about 10 of you to choose from. Oh, wow So you're all great. We love you all. We just want to know well to tell what the project is Well, okay, we're basically we're creating a new superhero. Yeah for the marvel. Oh, seriously. Yeah Wow, we're combining um a bunch of them in in in a Wolverine, but we're gonna combine Wolverine with what? We're gonna combine Wolverine with doesn't know any other superheroes. No, no, Wolverine and um, it's gonna be Wolverine and

Wonder Woman. Yeah, so it's gonna be a non-binary. It's a marvel tc cross Because you know the Wonder Woman was very difficult to get because it is tc. I wear a marvelous marvel Yeah Harry's I love Harry's. You know why I love Harry's why? Because my dad taught me that no man should have Harry's shoulders I like to keep hair on my face and not on my shoulders and I shave my shoulders, baby My dad taught me how to tie a tie and shave my shoulders speaking your dad and with father's day right around the corner There's never a better time to try or share the harry's experience. That's incredible because my dad needs some new

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But I wouldn't do it if it weren't for hello to she because we got that hello to she at the house. Yeah, my man Your bum is clean to she the modern bidet company is celebrating national six nine day June 9th by offering to she classic bidets for 69 dollars when you purchase two or more That's pretty incredible on june 9th. She will be offering their classes classic modern bidet attachments for only 69 dollars That's their biggest sale the year six nine day is to she's biggest sale the year so do not miss out on 30 percent off It's better for the environment way better. You get a cleaner butthole way cleaner. It's so easy to install I installed mine at my own home by myself and you did at the studio Which was shocking to me that you were able to put that together, but I got to tell you

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Do you want to say man? Yeah, it's a non-binary. It's a non-binary superhero movie. Yeah. Do I still shoot webs or what do I shoot? Yeah, but not out of your wrist Oh, where is it out of it? It's out of something else and it and it's now Now we want to see it before the movie. That's the thing We're brought in for is because we want to see how you shoot your web Oh, and we can help you. We can help you do it. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, you know You gotta snide. Um, we really want to help you train. We want to help you train because we have the We have the movements any you know the web thing very good point. We like you. Yeah, we do wait a minute

Do I have the role do you want it? Is the question Yeah, do you see what I'm saying? I don't know. I mean, I do want the role. Yeah. Andrew. Andrew Santorum Andrew Santino Do you want the role? Wait, this isn't Rick Santorum? No I do want the role. You want the role. Yeah. Yeah. What do I have to do to get the role? I feel like it's done, right? Well, let me just see you shoot your web. Yeah, shoot your web because there's a spider person in it in combination with wonder woman and wolverine, right? it's

Wonder wolva spider Wonder wolva spider. Yeah. Yes. Wonder wolver spider and um wonder wolver spider person the web's gonna be shot out of your Private area. Yeah We don't call it's not what Spider person doesn't have a penis. Yeah, it's not. Oh, it's it's not. Yeah, there's no gender I have a penis. No. No. No, it's an opening. No, it's a it's a

It's a non-descript non-binary sys Yeah, yeah I mean it it does protrude out of the area. Yeah, right? Yeah, there is like a head But the region when it protrudes when it gets hard. Yeah, you say I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You apologize. Okay I apologize for it's broaching on people's faces a little aggro. Got it. There's a lot of apologizing while you're doing that Okay, but your power does come from there and that's when you shoot and here's the deal. Okay. This is interesting

Right because when the web comes out, right? It it it deficits people from the inside. So you have to have the web has to go inside the body. Yeah So we'll have our mouth open. Yes. Yes. Yeah, so because it goes in and it destroys the organs So that's your addition That your addition Will you fuck us? For this role. Yeah, but I'm telling you right now Um, a hundred million dollars guaranteed star. We're gonna make you a star star star

Does it have to be both or can I just pick one? Um, well, you could do either one of us But I definitely if you pick y'all on us, I definitely have to be there to watch because I yeah Well, we'd prefer if you just did a little dipping in both. Yeah. Yeah, because we're both, you know Yeah, we're talking star. Andrew. This is what you dreamed for. This is what you moved out here for. Yeah, right? Do you want this? I want my name in lights. Yeah, there we go. Okay. Okay, but yeah, get the nda form. It's ready. Yeah I guess I guess I'm gonna be a star. Yes

Hold on. I opened the door. Tony Hinchcliffe. You can go home I guess he was. Yeah, baby. He was your backup. He was? Yeah, Tony Hinchcliffe was your backup. That's probably happened. Yeah, yeah, that's probably happened. Pulled out the nda's and said, okay, you got the role I mean, congratulations. So many times. Congratulations, Andrew. Did you forget that? Uh, Wonder Woman was DC. Yeah, I was not aware of that. Yeah, he's not into that shit. Yeah, he does Oh, he's not. You know the difference between DC and and Marvel, right? I don't. All right I like how you said yes. He is like, you know, Superman. Superman. What is it? Marvel DC? Just Superman I would be guessing. Yeah, go ahead. Marvel. No, no, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Batman

DC, I'm just guessing. Yes. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, but I'm guessing I didn't know that there was an affiliation What is DC and Marvel DC comics and Marvel? But it's just too too. They're two competing companies. It's Nike and Reebok I was into Barbies as a kid Oh, oh, yeah Oh, that's I know that's Mattel. Oh, yeah, no, we know you know that He's in a dress in Barbies. Why is it we guys? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we think I'm not judging you guys. No, we're not judging. No, it's just shocking that you would not know the difference between the two That's I was doing straight stuff. I was like, no, I'm just saying it's huge. It's a huge thing in our pop culture

Well, like I don't like you're not even from here, right? You're from the Philippines, right? I think I'm gonna ask you some questions. All right. I thought she was your niece. All right. It's Calylas nice. Yeah. Yeah Um, let's see X-Men Marvel. Yes fantastic for Marvel. Yeah, spider person Marvel, yes The flash DC says, you know, yeah

Um, daredevil black panther Marvel. No, B. E. T. B. E. T. B. E. T. Yeah, source magazine five mics five mics, baby Uh, that's it. That is interesting to think that Yeah, I guess I'm not a big comment book guy, but I do know that stuff. Yeah, we're sports guys You were did you watch Star Wars? A little I watched the first one and I lost interest

I was a weird guy. I was like into like adult movies when I was a kid like I was into like, uh Uh, Serpico like Serpico Woody Allen movies. All right, even as a kid you never saw Did you you I was star wars guy. Were you? You never saw Star Wars. You know this about me I think you know, I've never seen a harry potter A Star Wars when you were a kid like the new hope I've seen Star Wars empire strikes back I've seen empire. I've seen them in pieces over the years. Yeah You just so you know, I didn't go to the theater to watch those things

But you know the you know the story. I know all of it. Yeah, okay. Do you know the story of Star Wars loosely? What do you mean like loosely is not in the movie? Yeah Like okay, so Darth Vader Luke Skywalker, right? Who's his sister? Uh, princess Leia. That's common. Tell me the story like a real new york scumbag. All right. So what happens is, right? Yeah, yeah, fucking this guy It isn't always fathers and his father turns out to be like a fucking the crackhead on the fucking corner Yeah, who's actually selling him the fucking crack and then he goes hey guy, you know

Fucking come over on this side and fucking make some money. But he goes my mom rose me right. She rose me up right I'm trying to do get a fucking union job I'm doing good. He goes no come over over here There's good fucking money over here. You want we pay cash? And he goes I can't fucking do that. I gotta kill you because you're fucking you're driving down the property value It's blocked by fucking selling drugs on the corner So he decides to fucking kill his father and then he fucks his sister who he doesn't know is his fucking sister And then some fucking carpenter who got a job as an actor because fucking Steven Spielberg made him suck his dick

You know that yeah, yeah, he's another guy that's in there I don't know what Han Solo does. I don't know that's that's my extent of star wars like I don't know what his deal is I don't know where he was a smuggler, right? He just by chance ran into Obi-Wan Kenobi and um, and Luke Skywalker at Mos Eisley the bar Right and because he was in Mos Eisley, aren't you all 50? How do you know all this shit? I just because I just know about star wars. No, he's the generation that knows this the most right out in the 70s Star Wars came out in the 70s in 1977. I was I was

Seven or eight years old that all the kids wore the the clothing and all the toys. Yeah, I was like you were born right after the war, right? What Korean war? Vietnam or Korean, which war were you born after? Vietnam. No, no, wait, you're not world not world war two No, man when the boys came home. No because I knew I knew that I was about the Vietnam wars because the kids school would go if I show up at the You know at the play yard they'd go Charlie. Oh, man, that's bad and they would hide and stop and bring the throw rocks You were born in 69 71. Yeah Wow, yeah, yeah, did that hurt did that type of racism hurt? Oh, it's terrible. Yeah, that's bad

They would go Charlie and they okay you you're gonna wear this rice paddy hat. Okay, but let me ask you this question You wore it though If you and if you were really good friends with those guys would it hurt as much it would be more funny No, it was never a good friends with them. They would they would just do these are just bullies They're just bullying but your friends would make fun of you. Yeah, your friends did that would that be would it be okay? No, it's never okay. They would do it Oh, and I would accept it. Right. I was like one of those guys goes. Okay, I'll do it You know, yeah, and I'll be out there. You know what I mean, and it's the rocks. I'll be bleeding. That's not fun

Yeah, they're Charlie bleeding, right? You're right. And you know what I mean, and they would just keep doing it and I had to carry the rice around And it cooked the rise and I guess I need to start carrying rocks My dick right fucking fucking right Yeah, love you long time. They make you say love you long time That's bad. It was very mean. He was mistreated for so long. Yeah, but not anymore So when are you going back to New York tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow morning? Oh my god. Yeah So you came here because I want we want to help you. Yes because we think you're one of the funniest guys in the world

Thank you, and you have a special coming out specials out. Thank you for okay. Yeah, it's out. It's called mom love. It's called mom love It's out. It's on youtube right now. Bring up the video. Can you bring up the screenshot of what it looks like? Uh, the the title card there till we can just throw it up on the image week We obviously can't watch it. We don't want to watch it live on the show because Then you would it would be you guys wouldn't be laughing and they go, okay Why am I gonna watch there it is mom love my guy and you shot it at Comedy on stage comedy on stage Wisconsin man one of the greatest comedy clubs in the entire fucking world

I love that club recommended enough to be owned by greek girls did the best. I love that club Yeah, they they genuinely that family they do the best has been so good to me over the years And whenever I go they treat me better than any fuck I mean look it's also because they have a family relationship a lot of clubs aren't owned like that anymore But with those chicks do I went out on the boat with them me and o'connor went out on the boat Had like one of the best days out in that fucking lake that club from hilarity is the best one of the best Yeah, one of the best one of the best taking you out on boats. No, but he got me a bat I know he got you guys gets everyone a bat. Yeah, he gets me shit. Yeah, I don't play. I never played hilarities

Are you kidding me sirs? Where is it cleveland? No That's weird. It's one of the best clubs in america. It's like a denver comedy works. Yes comedy nice. Yeah, it's like that good You haven't been there. I don't think so if I have I don't remember I'm dead serious. I don't think so you should I play I played I played so many different cities But I just don't remember. I don't know. I don't I know I've never done hilarities Wow, and if I did I don't I maybe I don't remember. Well, that's interesting There's a lot of clubs. I never played that everyone plays and I always feel hurt by it because they never asked

I don't give a fuck at all. You know, no, I do. Do you care about shit like that? No, not really What's it? What's it? I'll go if I mean I would go if they asked me But it's also like sometimes you get offers to do stuff and you're like I can't that week and then They're like, well, we'll come back around to you and you're like I already have seven other dates It gets harder and harder where you're like, I can't do I can't do it especially now I think it matters less now, but it's great when you go there and they treat you well and it's a great club And they do the right things and comedy on state does that They make a menu for you with like things from your jokes or whatever like they put a lot of effort in their green room is incredible

It's like it's not even it's an apartment. It's an apartment a full fucking apartment and the room is just gorgeous It's done. They just do it so well. Yeah, and it's like it makes other clubs You're looking at the other clubs going like, why don't you just put a little effort into it, man? Why don't you just because a lot because a lot of times now not to get too inside baseball for people that don't give a fuck But everything is a chillies now. You're at a fucking you're basically at a water burger. You're at a fucking local food and chop shop and That's fine. It's you're at a trader joe's or you're at a trader joe's a regional trader I'm gonna talk shit about a club. He just just brought up do it in east. Yes. Yeah, it just brought up an issue

Hartford funny bone. Oh my god. Yeah. Have I ever played a weekend there? Have I done that and then sunday night Hartford fun the manager comes. Oh, yeah. I just didn't meet you. I'm meeting you now. Here's a check Yeah, and how long ago was this? This is probably eight years ago after he did that was like, oh, I'll never play your room again That's so disrespectful. Is it in a mall? I don't know It isn't a mall. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Here's another one Virginia Beach funny bone I did great numbers. They're like, he's too edgy. Yeah, and they never had me back Hartford funny. Oh, fuck yourself. Yeah You can say that now

I'm actually happy that you're that you're here and you're alive and you're away from a Florida trip that you draw You look you flew across the country and you're here on time and you've contributed so much to the show Like you always do you're my boyfriend my lover my king my prince. Meanwhile you you have given me nothing You haven't interjected tonight. You haven't jumped on anything. What's going on in your world? She's still thinking about oh and gray right now. Yeah graying out. You're grayed out right now Oh, I come home. Guess what's in the house? A new fucking animal You got another fucking dog a puppy you scumbag. What'd you call it?

Inky because it's black Oh boy We're teetering on It's called inky. Yeah, cuz it's black. Yeah. Yeah, okay What do we got a photo of it here on your fucking story or your feed low inky little inky Is that an album coming soon inky is here. What's what kind of dog is it pitbull pitbull You guys like pits a lot. You guys always have some variation of dog Like so I I didn't want to meet him. I sat down

Well, Cali was taking a shower and the dog jumped on my lap and fell asleep Where'd you get it from and I started drooling from a rescue From a rescue. Yeah, how many dogs are in the house now four five five Well, well one of them is gonna go soon Which one I know You loot you win some use going out of the country now next week. We're going Back home. She hasn't been to philippines in three years. How long three years and what how long you're gonna stay for just two weeks That's that's what you think

Yeah, you think you're you think I want to go back. We're calling some people you want to come back here Yeah, no, I think you're staying over there calling immigrants. I'll see what I can do I got we got we got fucking immigration on speed dial. I'll see what I can do I haven't done anything wrong. I know. Oh, I don't know about that. We can say things too. Yeah, we can lie Yeah, so you better start fucking treating him a little bit better around the house Yeah, are you would you be bombed if you went to the philippines and that you went and they said you're not Longer you can't go back. Yeah, I'd be sad. How would you would you try to get here anyway? Yeah boats Well, what you mean sneak in. Yeah. Yeah

She should just marry a guy here, right? Can you get in that way? Yeah, but look he just andre's just went to that. He's now an american citizen He married a guy. Well, he married a guy here. You married a guy that's in a citizen here But it what is it? How long do you have to be married? So it's uh, keep the citizenship five years five years. Where's he from? Espana, Spain, and he's one of the but he's one of the bad boy ones You could tell by looking at this guy's a bad boy. Yeah, look at his unbutton a little bit got that floor under floral underneath He runs with the balls. Oh, yeah You guys do any uh hiring from america?

Yeah Not really You gotta get a visa for everyone who works in this country Here's why we hire these people. We can kind of hold this over their head all the time. I like it. We'll send you back at any given moment Yeah, I like that. So, you know bet you want to but fancy fancy now is an american citizen So we actually respect him. Tell him we can give you carlos if you we can still take carlos Yeah, we can still do whatever we want with carlos, right? He's also mexican and you know, that's you know, that whole thing You're mexican. Mm-hmm. Yeah

What does deep state mean? Deep state means let's let that one sit That's the cutest question you've ever asked me because I where did you hear who said because I was just at lex and I was getting my bags it was like What what's the funny nothing go ahead. Oh, just so you came up with deep state at lex sounds like some sort of conspiracy Okay, which is exactly I've heard it before but I was sitting there trying to get my bags And there was a guy with a you know You know a hat that has that's a deep state on it. No, no, it has a forest on it

You know, you know, it's like a forest keep going. Okay I don't know where this is so far. It's wearing a forest hat. It looks like a forest, right? He's wearing foresty kind of gear. You mean he's wearing like outdoorsy gear. Yeah, but like they blend into the forest That's what I call it I was an easy way to get there. It's a camouflage because camouflage I equate to like, you know, military military This is more like hunting deer hunting. Duck hunting. Duck hunting. You know what what I'm on your same line. I understand Thank you so much. So that's why I call it a forest. Yeah, but it is still camouflage. Go ahead So guy a guy who clearly votes

Democrat Well, that's where I was I was like He's like, um, bobby lee, right? I go. Yeah, and he got a big fan. I was thank you. He's a marine Yeah, right. He just retired. So he is military Twist in terms of this Semper fi once you're I understand why military gets to go on the plane before me in the first class Um, but what have kids ever done? Sorry

Why do kids get to go on first because she haven't done nothing. Can I tell you why why nowadays they survive shootings all that's when they load up When they load up those little pieces of shit When they load up those little assholes on the plane. Yeah Yeah, get those fuckers settled in before I get on the plane. Yeah, I don't like when people are banging around their fucking kid through the aisle So he's telling me about, um You gotta be careful about your phone, man I go why because they can read facial expressions and the government takes notes. Yeah, it's called face ID I I said yes to it, right? Yeah, and then he's like, you know, I mean

Everything's you know, they know your movements and that and you know, I mean all this stuff and he's like It's the deep state and I go How deep? Yeah, because I don't know what it means like what states it's so deep. It's not 40 or 50 feet Yeah, yeah, I mean is it canyons or I don't know what the fuck it meant I those guys think that the government likes just watching you like I don't even like watching me all day No, imagine there's some guys sitting there watching me live my life Well, that's what what's so funny like this is kind of the same, uh, but people think that they're so important that like that

They're Jason Bourne. Yeah, no one gives a fuck about you. No, but that's funny This is kind of the same argument when somebody's like, you know with this fucking gun law stuff is all back again with guns and stuff And and whatever you feel about it The funniest response I ever hear is when someone's like you need your guns to protect yourself If somebody comes to your house if like the government comes to your house You know and tries to take take over you'll have a fight. Do you really think You could fuck with the military if they came to your fucking knocked on your door. No, no, you're gone, buddy Depends how what level of jiu-jitsu you have. Good. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck

So you're saying the deep state is a government agency that's that we're not pretty. No, no, no, no What is the deep state? Explain it to me. It's a conspiratorial theory that that there is a Yeah Nothing came up, but yeah, go ahead. This is yannis's field. What yeah No, well, I mean all you got to do is listen to any tim dillon episode and you'll get an explanation of it Okay, or like a joe rogan. Yeah, it's like a what is it like a collaboration between? you know corporations and and the the state at like a clandestine level so you don't know about it

So there's some things have been found to be true, right like they were the government was uh, you know Facebook and the government were kind of giving yeah giving our data. There was a collaboration going on It's stuff you already know snowed and revealed that there was some deep state stuff going on Things can be deep state. Basically what it is is like there's no branch of government that is This isn't like a official thing. It's an unofficial theory that has been proven true in certain ways that the government is fucking in working in conjunction with major corporations major fucking but they haven't they like I

I plan that the iron car or they were selling, you know, I mean our weapons to To free the hostages, you know, I mean secretly, you know, I mean, yeah, but that's real That was real. We were we were giving them weapons in exchange for hostages, right? But that was secret, right? So that it wasn't out there until we found out about it and became a big deal, right? That's some deep state. Is that deep state? I guess it is some some deep state shit, but usually deep state shit is more like You know It's it's a lot of conspiracy theory based spy shit spy shit. Let's like, uh, yeah, like uh, like they're they're watching your deep state

You're you're you know, you're secretly working for the government and you're trying to out Andrew Santino as uh, oh here you go. Yeah, look the United States Department of Justice was part of the deep state because they didn't prosecute Huma Abdeen or James Comey? That's Trump's theory. Trump's theory is that is that so I'm saying like it's a lot of Theorized versions of what the deep state is protecting. You know what I mean? Is there a deep man in Hollywood? You think there's like a secret? Is it cabal? That's why that's that's my favorite. Is there a deep state in hollywood snus? Snooze would it can have some wacky? Yeah, you're on with a snus. Will you put it in though? Yeah. Yeah, okay

You can swallow. You don't have to spit either. But is it chewing tobacco? Yeah, but you don't have to spit. It's swedish And you don't have to spit you can swallow it. Okay. Okay. Thanks, man I have pouches No, no, no, but you but you have to spit the pouch. You don't have to spit any of that swallow these two, baby You're not supposed to Stomach cancer doc You gotta get them all like pokemon get them all throat No, man, okay. Well, these are better. You don't have to spit. Where do you get these out?

You have to find them. Uh, you know in certain stores have them certain don't but like the swedish figured out a way To like, I don't know pasteurize it. So you don't have to spit. Yeah, because you pass it you pass it through That stuff will fucking you swallow. Copenhead gives me a stomach ache. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm putting another one in Yeah, why not? Yeah, throw one in there. I'm not gonna let you snooze alone We jumped over it real fast, but let's get back real quickly to what you do. Yannis does have a new special coming out Yeah, mom love mom love. Please watch it you guys. It's on the tubes of the use Uh, please support my guy. What are we talking right now? How long has it been up a week? Right? It's been about six days I've six days mom love yannis papis. Go watch the guy

How many views did we talk and right now because we're gonna fucking we want to amp the viewership of this? I think we're at six figs dude. Come on 137. We're getting this way higher than that. Thank you all of our friends Please watch the show. Do you get money from that? Uh, no, this is just uh, it costs to share. That's my marketing line. It costs to share So if you watch it, just share it text it to your friends, right share it on your profiles Just get it out there. Just push it around maybe push it out. Right push it around. Yeah, I'm gonna push it Push it real good Yannis is yannis is one of one of the one of the good ones as they say one of the good greeks

Like I I would I literally I swear to god dude. I if I was stranded in new york. Yeah There's not a lot of guys I could call to help me. Yeah, I think you'd be one of them I wouldn't because I don't need you there. I need you here. He needs you here So I wouldn't pick up you would hang out with you now No, what? He's got a family if I was in trouble. You wouldn't help me. Well, what do I get at? Yeah No, but for real you wouldn't no, of course I would yeah. Yeah, who would you really call first? Who'd be your first call in new york? I'm on me. I'll help you. I swear to god. I'm a good person. Yeah

I'll tell you I wouldn't call. Yeah Shultz why I don't think he would help me Yes, he would he might. Yeah, he might he might he might he might he might make you podcast about it You would definitely I'll help you. Yeah. Yeah, um, who else? And I got the time too. I'll be I'll be available. Yeah. Yeah. Shultz would be busy. That's the final probably not He's not gonna help you. No. No. No. No. No. He'll help. He's a good guy. Yeah. He's on Staten Island though now That's it over the bridge. That's where you are. Yeah, you're stuck in Manhattan. He's not coming. Yeah You know who I would help me, but I want I don't want his help got free

Or you got to listen to a lot It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. You call up normand Hey, you do you hear it help me? Hey, Bob. I don't think Mark would know. I heard you're stuck, Bobby I'm on my way. Yeah, don't move. You know, Ari won. You're gay. Yeah, Ari won. Yeah, if he wasn't if he wasn't in bangladesh This small fucker is around the world every time I turn around. I'm like, where are you right now? He's like, I'm in the Andes that dude nobody travels like he does on a whim He on a fucking whim that guy will disappear and just travel the world. Yeah, he had a flip phone Flip phone. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking that guy's bonkers. Are you

excited about What top gun maverick big time? Yeah big time. God bless. God bless. Are you gonna watch it really? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I wouldn't miss that for the fucking world. Is his wingman in the movie too. What was his name? No, he dies as a highman. Oh, Goose is dead. Yeah, Goose is dead. 97 percent. Oh That's amazing. Yeah, I saw a preview for the Bob's Burgers movie and I thought Yeah, nothing. How does Tom Cruise still look so good? Baby blood. Yeah. Yeah, that's sure. Yeah If you're talking about that's Z new cabal

Z new the alien shit. Well, he's top dog over there at Scientology I mean, look at this focce. He's got still got a nice focce right there on the man So a good friend of mine was owned in con in con and they did Part of the you know, like the flyover premiere there where they had the jets and shit with the red, white and blue And he came in on a fucking helicopter this fucking king. He's the last movie star. We got buddy. He is right. Yeah, that's it He's done. Dude. This is it. It's not happening anymore. Yeah Yeah, he really you know, it was classy when the guy squirted with it. Do you ever see that? Huh? Well, he's like, oh, yeah, he's at the press right line, right?

And some guy squirts him with a squirt gun Ake at first you he was gonna snap you could tell that you could that would piss me off He's wearing a tuxedo. Yeah, he just grabs him and goes. Why did you do that, man? Yeah, huh? I was being nice and I came up to you and you squirted me a thing. Why why'd you do that man? That was wrong Yeah, but you know what happened what guy that guy career ended abruptly the guy was never heard from ever again Yeah, you know, you don't fucking squirt the king. You don't you don't squirt the king. You don't squirt him in the fuck Yeah, look at that. Look at that. Please. Please watch on to special right now on youtube. Yeah, we appreciate you, yanni Uh, why don't you take us out? Why don't you tell the camera? Thank you for being a bad friend?

Uh, thank you for being a bad friend guys. Just continue don't answer anyone's calls who calls you You make them text and forget all your friends birthdays Do you know what's crazy watching you wolf down in and out in front of everyone? Yeah, it's just it's just It's a spectacle. You're tough to watch eating. You're terrible. You're bad at eating. Yeah, you should see me eat pussy Messy cut over here Yeah, you're stupid. I'm stupid man. I'm a stupid person. Yeah, you're not a smart guy. Okay. Yeah, you don't know what's going on