Bad Friends - Stavros, the Off White & the Golden Lee

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

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This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huell, your go-to for complete nutrition. Try Huell with 15% off today using code BADFRIENDS at my.huell.com slash badfriends. Hey, Bad Friends! I'm finishing up my tour in 2025. Happy 2025 to you. Let's finish it beautifully before I shoot my special. Chicago. This week I'm in my hometown of the Chicago Theater. I think it's sold out. Maybe some standby tickets come see me. Then I go to Durham, North Carolina. Come on Durham, show up. Show out for your boy. Atlanta, Georgia.

Charleston, South Carolina. Then Philly. I'm playing the Met. I cannot wait. Philly, I love you so much. You dirty birds. New York! I'm at the Beacon.

Then I go to Phoenix. San Francisco, two shows. San Diego, two shows. Boston, four shows. Four shows in Boston. Come out and see your boy. And then three shows as of now in Minneapolis, maybe we added a fourth, we don't know, who knows?

Come out and see me, Minneapolis. I love you guys. AndrewSantino.com. Go to AndrewSantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

You two are something. We're bad friends. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun You know which one which one do you like I know which one you like No, yes, it has nothing to do with short round no I think the third one is the best one it is the best one the third one yeah, yeah with Sean Connery Which one's that called the last crusade the last crusade? The last crusade you know lost arc is okay. I think is Yeah, last arc is amazing the first one I haven't watched okay. I'm it's great. Yeah, it's not bad. Yeah. Lost Ark is amazing. The first one? I haven't watched any of those in so long.

I know, because the reason why I'm rewatching it is because I'm playing the video game. Oh, wow. Oh, an Xbox, fuck. Yeah, Bethesda has, you know what I mean, a new Indiana Jones game. Where do you find the time? Oh, the time is my own, in my hands.

Where do you find the time? The time is in my own, in my hands. Between us developing the animated show and the game show, where do you find the time to do all this stuff? Well, it goes this show, Pussy, and then Indiana Jones, baby. I get it. What's up, dude? You know what I mean?

That's the order, dawg. And then fourth is breakfast burritos. I love breakfast burritos. What's your perfect BB? Colfax. Ingredients, I mean. But Colfax is phenomenal. What do you mean? What's your favorite ingredients of a breakfast? Oh, pica de gallo dude. Pica de gallo. You know, eggs.

Eggs. You want a scramble or a fry? Bacon. Bacon, you want crispy or a little bit of whiskey? I love when they put the frijoles in there. You want frijoles? Yeah. I gonna put them in. Why don't they refry it three times? We could. That's what I always wonder.

Well, you know, we only have a double fryer. Okay, so. And then, uh. Luigi Mangione. My son. Luigi Mangione. My son. He's the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the

new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new insurance? Luigi, my boy, my boy. God, what a guy, huh? Luigi Mangione. Yeah. What a name. Mangione. Boycott McDonald's.

Wow. Her name is Nancy Parker. Look at his chest. Yeah, look at this guy, dude. Dude, I would harbor him. Wouldn't you harbor him? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's running from the wall.

Come to my house. Come on in. I'm not gay! But come on, dude. I'm making him a couple of breakfast burritos. Dude, he's like Bruce Banner. Not Bruce Banner, he's like Bruce Wayne. Hi Luigi, you slept in last night.

What have you been doing this morning? Running from the law? What have I been doing? What have you been doing? I don't know, I was in New York, watching a show. What were you doing in New York? You were on Broadway? Yeah, watching Wiccan.

Wiccan? Yeah. Did you hold space? You were holding space? What do you, you think he's gonna go to prison? Yeah, pretty sure. I think if you kill someone, No, I'll tell you.

You shoot someone in the back. I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen. Oh, okay. Give it to me. You're the DA? No, I'm just, no, I'm not the DA. I'm Bobby Lee. What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen to this guy?

I think the jury is gonna acquit him. How and why? Because they're gonna have empathy for him. Brother, he shot him in the back. I know, but his mother. What about his mother? We knew what, you know what else I'll do? He has the same thing you have.

Back problems, I saw that. Yeah, yeah, that's what he, I think- You don't see me out there shooting anybody? I don't, but maybe it's not bad enough yet. But somebody, if they keep it up, they might get shot. You're talking about me? No. You'll never shoot me. I'll shoot you first.

I know. Oh, buddy. No, let's just touch dicks. That's- Yeah. He's not gonna get acquitted. He's going to prison for a long, long time. But if you read the comments online, the people are behind him. Yeah, because he's good looking. No, it's what he did.

It's because he's good looking. Oh, so if I did it? Life in prison. Me, I'd get like 20 years. You get life, I get 20. No, they would have shot me at the McDonald's. Can I have a number? I'd be dead, right? Put the big back down.

Yeah, I'd be dead. But no, the good looks helps. I'm on a Zimpy. Yeah, but the good looks helps. It doesn't help, it's the only thing, it's the thing. Look at, they posted this photo of him in People Magazine. He's being glorified. Yeah, he is hunky though, huh? They in People magazine. He's being glorified. Yeah.

He is hunky though, huh? They're glorifying. Let's be honest. Yeah, he's a really good looking kid. He's the opposite of Stavros. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's the opposite of Stavros. They have the same sex appeal for two different reasons.

That's what it is. But this guy's going to prison for la-la-la-la life. You know what's so funny about that? Stavros and Stavros? And Stavros and Ian Finans, these whites, I know he's Greek, but these whites are my type, but they still get more girls than me. That's not true, you get plenty of women.

I think they get more. How, dude, how full do you want it to your cup? I mean, come on. They're white. That was the point I was trying to make, but the way you said it really hurt me. They do get whites. Yeah. They get whites.

They're white. You get off white. Exactly. Yeah, I get brown. What, is he here? He probably. Don't tell him I said that. You manifested him.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you say his name once. Yeah, yeah. But seriously, you do know, he's gonna get life in prison. He can't get off. There's no way they'll let him off. I mean, it was too egregious, the crime.

What if Trump pardons him? Won't. Why would he? Yeah, you're right. There'd be no connection to be made. But I haven't read like one negative comment about him. That's because people, look, that's because the society is fed up with,

society's fed up with the way that things are going in the healthcare industry. Yep. Doesn't mean you should kill a guy though. I think you're right. I think it doesn't mean you'd shoot him. Well, because he had kids. Even if he didn't, you don't kill the guy. You don't kill somebody. Yeah. Can't go out and kill. That's not how we fix everything. Luigi the hero of 2024 says that guy. Read all of them. Insanity plea. Oh, they're trying to give them an insanity plea. Read all of them, dude. They love them.

TMZ free Luigi mugs and cups on sale. Use code bad friends at free Luigi mugs. Despite who the man worked for, that's not okay. I don't like that they keep doing this. I don't like this. He was someone's son and a dad. He's just a guy. What do you mean? It doesn't matter if he's a father, if he's single, if he's married. He's a guy. You can't fucking just kill a guy in cold blood like you can't. You can't. You can. He did it. Well, but he's going to suffer the consequences. Yeah. You're going to go to prison for life.

Holy smoke, Dr. Jones. By the way, you know how much happier- That's got around. I already saw Temple of Doom back yesterday. How much happier would- Indy, Indy, Dr. Holy smoke. Yeah, I love it. I know you do, buddy. I already saw Temple of Doom, that yesterday. How much happier would- Indy, Indy, that Holy Smoke, that- I love it. I know you do, buddy.

How happy would society be if he just punched him? Then you would get nothing. Just knock him out then. If you're so angry, would have made the same news. You wouldn't be on the run. But you also imagine all the people that have died because of, what was it, United Health Insurance? I know, buddy, but it's not him directly.

I know, but he is a symbol of it, and it's like he has some power. Sure, but you can't advocate- Does he not have any power? You can't advocate for murdering him because of it. It doesn't just, it doesn't make sense. You can't, you just, I mean, I'm sorry, you just cannot, no, not sorry.

You can't. I'm for the people, though. Yeah, yeah, you're from the streets. That's how they handle things in Poway. Bobby is pro-assassination. No, not pro-assassination. I feel empathy the people though. Yeah. Yeah, you're from the streets. Yeah, that's how they handle things in Poway. Bobby is pro assassination No, no, not pro assassination. I feel empathy for his family You know me but also for Luigi. No, no for Bryan Thompson. Is that his name? I have no idea Bryan Thompson's family funny. We know the killer not the killed. Yeah. Yeah, that's a symptom America. Look at us Here are some

There he is, what's up, buddy? Love, and give me a calendar. Is that for Mama Stavros? Oh! Oh! You gotta get these calendars, guys. These calendars are incredible. We hang them up in the front room of our studio. Wow.

I don't want, don't give it away. I don't want anybody to see any photos. Wow. Whoa. Whoa. Stavi Baby. You got some too, don't you worry. Oh, yeah. The black clavice for- Is this Rosie O'Donnell? How we doing? Whoa. Stavi Baby. You got some too, don't you worry. Oh, yeah.

The baklava is for- Is this Rosie O'Donnell? How'd you get her? I don't know how you got her, but that's great. I'm good, thanks. Wow. So let me say something. You're not on Ozempic, right? I'm not.

Yeah, yeah. Just making sure- I'm in the control group. Have you ever thought about getting on it? Cause I'm on it. Are you? Yeah. How's it feeling?

I'm losing some weight. I can feel it. Stand up and show him your stomach. It's unbelievable. The guy lost, he's losing his butt, which is- You look cute, dude. I mean, you always look cute. Thank you, dude.

He's losing his BBL is going away. That's what we're concerned about. Were you ever a butt guy though? He had a nice tush. Really? He had a nice tush. I really did have a Brazilian type. Yeah. Really? Yeah. You were shapely. See, I can't afford to lose any ass. I have a flatter ass than I'd like. I want to get in the gym. I want to get in the gym. You have an Asian's ass on, pony. I wish I didn't,

but yeah, I think you're right. I think you do too. And that kind of hurts me. And the dick. Cause I, well yeah. But look at these calves. I want my ass in the... Whoa, dude. Look at those calves, dude. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I feel like I'm at sea. How are you so tanned?

Yeah, where you been, bud? Mediterranean fucking... By the way, by the way, it could either be tan with you or gout. I have no idea. It would be, it would be, I would look like fucking Bobby if I had gout. It would be a richer yellow. That's a good one. Oh no! Anyway, uh... They survived. They survived. I would look like fucking Bobby if I had gout. It would be a richer yellow

That's a good one Good boy ball boy at the US open Your mom makes the best shit on earth. They're so good mama. How kiosk is honestly bakava. Yeah, we got a baklava. We got a crab yeah this we have a mellow Macaron. Oh, we got it all. Yeah. What's up fellas. Great to be good to see you and congratulations on the movie. Thank you for the movie. Yeah. Give him a round of applause for the movie. Thank you. And let's everybody go watch. Let's start a cult. It's available right now everywhere. Really? Right. You can rent it. You can rent it and go see me live. I'm on a tour not the The dreamboat tour is out you can buy tickets to that now, so I'm out here, baby. Let's go, baby

I'm out here. What's what's what's the next show? The next show our first show is in it starts in February. It's in Wheatland Wheatland, California The hard rock yeah, yeah, you've done that didn't California. You're doing the casino or something? Oh, the Hard Rock, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done that, didn't you? You know, San Francisco, going all the way through the West, down the West Coast.

So watch out, ladies. Midwest, that's right. I am looking to fuck. Ah, yeah. There you are. Yeah. What's your favorite Indiana Jones movie? Oh my God.

The first one. Everyones is the first one. Why do you keep asking that? Like the- Wait, wait, you're gonna do the one where he's got an Asian sidekick? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Holy smoke, Dr. Jones, holy smoke. That one's fun. Yeah, it's a fun one. It's fun, but it's the first one is the best. Okay, can I tell you about the second, because I rewatched all of them yesterday. Okay, oh wow.

In a row. I had a production day, it sounds like. I found the time. I found the time. Honestly, how many emails did you ignore from the people in the room? I don't want to read them. Let me say something about it.

I'm mad at two. I'm mad at the Temple of Dune. I'll tell you why. Why? Sorry, I have Baclova. Because when I was a kid, I saw that movie, okay? And then they're in some Indian palace. The food comes out, and in my mind, I think that in some Indian palace. Yeah. The food comes out and in my mind,

I think that that's Indian food. Right. Right. They bring out a gigantic bow constrictor and then they open it and there's 50,000 other snakes in it. Now they still do have that dish. They do. So there's another one where it's a tray full of beetles. Yeah, the beetle.

And they eat the underbelly of the beetle. Oh, I don't remember this. And then monkey brains. Monkey brains is my favorite part. Monkey brains, I remember, that was- And I remember as a kid I'm like, oh, I don't like Indian food. I don't want to eat, Dr. Jones.

Yeah. You don't like monkey brains? Yeah, yeah. I forgot, I've read about monkey brains. I don't remember how- But zoom into that photo. No, go back to the- That's a monkey plant.

Zoom in. The original photo you were just at, not that one. Go back to the first one. Now zoom in. You see that guy right there? That's a white guy that they just got all dressed up. All right, right, right. So funny.

And that's Steven Spielberg's wife. That is. Yeah. It is his wife. You think that's how she got it? I think she auditioned, she went through the process. I don't think, really? Oh yeah.

It was an offer on her. I bet she read three or four times for that. They got married after. Oh really? And remember that guy eating the monkey bench right there? Yeah, that's a wild. Look, Eric Griffin made it into the film somehow. Yeah, yeah, there he is.

Wow. Eric's in it. He looks good. How clearly is that jello? Go back, look, they didn't even try. Sometimes you see special effects and stuff like that in the movies today, and you're like, it looks too cheap. Go back to the original jello.

No, I like it though. Look, that's jello. That's just jello. Yeah, yeah, that's jello. They could have tried a little bit. It's nice and red. I like it. Because the thing is, it's in the uncanny, they want it to be physical.

It's clearly not an actual monkey brain. They respect you enough to do that, but they'll be like, it's a rendering of a monkey brain. Especially these are like, homages to old adventure movies, when they didn't have that stuff, and you could be very racist.

It almost feels like they had to be extra racist to be like, go ahead, go ahead Robert. Yeah. I don't wanna school you guys. School me kiddo. Can I school you for a second? Please. That's frozen monkey Ryan.

Oh. That's why it's that color dude. Sorry about that. Yeah, yeah. Things get brighter when they're- I don't know dude. I don't know dude. You're moving at the speed of light right now. You need to slow down. I don't know. I don't know. You're moving the speed of light right now. You need to slow down.

I don't know how I work. Way too fast. I'm just going to correct you guys. It's not just regular monkey rain. It's been frozen. That was two and the third one is when. The Last Crusade. Oh, with Sean Connery.

Yeah. That one's pretty. I think that's the best one. That's the best one. It's not the best one. Number one is the best one. Number one is the best one, but they both, both two and three have their fun little charms though.

Totally. Sean Connery and then the beginning part with- River Phoenix. River Phoenix. That's fucking fun. But in the temple, my dog. He also runs into Hitler. Runs into Hitler. Him and Sean Connery fuck the same Nazi, which is funny.

Yeah, that's good. Dude, you remember. They're Eskimo brothers with the same Nazi. God, you're good. Nazi, which is funny. Yeah, that's good. Dude, you remember. And then we stabbed our Eskimo brothers with the same Nazi. God, you're good. Yeah, which is fun. That's a fun plot point in a wholesome. She was so hot, by the way. She was a nice.

The Nazi was hot. Oh, she was hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Such a hot Nazi, dude. And she had to read a bunch of times. She had to read a bunch of times. No, no, she got the role offered, for sure. No, I saw the documentary, really?

She got the role? She got the role offered. Oh. This is the most like, let's? She got the role offered. Oh. They asked to- This is the most like, let's lose every young person tuning in. Yeah. By talking about, by in detail discussing Indiana Jones.

Yeah, yeah. You know who she kind of looks like right there? Who? She kind of looks like Einhorn as Finkel Finkel as Einhorn. Oh, yeah. And she does. Who is that actress that played in Ace Ventura? Who played that?

Sean Young? What was her? Oh played that? Sean Young? What was her name? Oh, was that Sean Young? Sean Young. Is that what her name was? Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, she kind of has that same look. You're right, the bone structure.

Yes, because honestly, this was so ahead of its time, an androgynous, she played a girl so well that could have been a guy that we didn't even question it when they said it was a guy. I have a different read on that. Okay, even question it when they said it was a guy. I have a different read on that. OK, go for it. Give me a read, Sanros.

Well, first of all, I'll say I was so fucking dumb as a kid that I was like, I didn't realize because the whole idea was they put her dick in her ass. Yeah. She was talking her talking. Yeah. So as a kid, I thought she shit herself. I thought that was the big reveal, is that she had shit, and they're like,

ah, she's gross now. She's a dirty whore that shits herself. But I also will say, I think it's a complete, like, I don't think she played it as a dude. I think she was just a hot, aggressive woman. She had masculine qualities that they did tip off in the movie a few times, and by the way, I know why you thought that was poop and not a penis, because Mama Halkeis

was just feeding you that baklava and being like, don't worry, baby, don't worry. You're probably right. I watched it with my dad and he didn't want to explain. Totally. He didn't want to explain. He was like, she shit herself. Right. You didn't have a jilted childhood where my dad was like, that's a dick.

That's a fucking dick. But I think the fact that they played her masculine actually, because if a trans girl looked that good, she wouldn't be masculine. They do. But what I'm saying is they should be more feminine. Dude, get on the internet, it's insane. No, no, they do, they do. It's insane.

But I'm saying their mannerisms are not aggressive. They like to be girly. Do you masturbate to trans? Have you? You look so concerned. No, I'm just wondering. I've taken it for a spin a couple times. Well, you're not a fan of the party?

You don't want to show up? Because of Jim. Because of Jim Norton. Yeah, yeah. To his wife. You're talking to his wife? No, no, no. I went camping with him.

Right. So when you're in a tent with Jim Norton. Things are gonna be sad. Right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and I watch he get a jerk in Okay. Yeah, and I felt bad about it. I feel bad You can tell Bob. He's on Google because he's just doing that voice for no reason It's the thing himself from the bag that he jacked off to transport. Yeah, I don't get a goofy voice. Yeah. Yeah I've done so you you have then. Yeah, me too. Yeah good. How about you? Give it a whirl. I've been free. What does that mean? I've seen it all.

There's nothing I haven't seen on the internet. I feel like I've literally seen everything. You have seen it all too, but have you played with your penis by watching it? No, dude, I'm usually on there for research, just to really intake information. I'm really looking at it from a cinematic point of view. Right, right.

By the way, I will say, there are some new age shit that's out there. The cinematography is incredible. Some of these are so high end, they're doing such a good job now. It's like full production. Storylines are great and they're twisty. There's like lens flares. It's really good. Like J.J. Abrams is directing it.

Yeah, yeah. He loves those lens flares. You know what I rewatched on the plane? I rewatched X, Maxine, the first, you know, the X one. I haven't seen it. Dude, it's fantastic. It's so fun. It's fun.

It's fun because it's, there's nothing else like that out there. You don't see anything like that anymore. Yeah, maybe, okay, good. It's like a sexy horror, like a really campy. That's the best one of the three. But it's campy. Was that the first one?

Yeah. X, yeah. But it's super campy, which is like, it tips it, dude, it's telling you it knows it's corny. Yeah, yeah. So it's funny. I would that the first one? Yeah. X, yeah. But it's super campy, which is like, it tips it, dude, it's telling you it knows it's corny. Yeah, yeah. So it's funny. I would love to do a horror movie. And she's fucking beautiful. With you guys.

I would love to do a campy movie. A comedy, a campy, camping, horror movie. No, campy. Campy, campy, campy, campy. He wants to get back in that tent talking about transport. No shit. I'd love to, whatever gets us in the tab with Jim Newark, we'll do a comedy, he can't.

But why can't we make one? We can. We can make one right now, dude. Yeah, we can make one. Let me tell you something. We have to write it. And when I say we have to write it, it means we can't watch all three Indiana Jones one night.

We have to write the movie. I can write it right now. Okay. Do it, go. What do you think it is? We're brothers. We're all service or adopted brothers. Adopt're brothers. We're all sorts of adopted brothers. Adopted brothers.

Yeah, we're all adopted brothers. Clearly. By the way, we had to lead that horse to water. You see, he wasn't gonna go there. Then you said, what? What are you doing? I'm the one that said the brothers thing. But you stopped the brothers.

I know. Yeah, and so then, you know, back in the 70s, right? Well, how about this? Same mom, different dads. I'm into that. That's fine. Our mom was just a party animal that was like sleeping with all sorts of guys.

Yeah, I like that. That's fine. Well, maybe like I was told I was like sleeping with all sorts of guys. Yeah, I like that. That's fine. Well maybe like I was told I wasn't adopted, but you guys know that I was. So that's a theme. We couldn't be brothers either. Him and I look literally fucking nothing alike. Exactly.

Different dads we could. No, I don't think so. My dog. We definitely could. Not, not. Stop. What? Stop.

We definitely could. We have literally zero gene crossover. I don't know. Look, I think if you start at a base white woman. So your dad was like... And she fucks the most ginger ginger of all time. We could get you. And then she fucks John Goodman in the 80s. Yeah.

To get him. And has him, right? And then Pat Morita. Pat Morita for you. She fucked Pat Morita. Yeah. Okay, here we go. The camp, we go back to the camp where she conceived us. Ooh.

She was the camp's land piece. Everybody fucked our mom and we go looking for our dad. Yeah, yeah. There's a tree too, with all the names that our mom fucked. Yeah, yeah. That's engraved in the tree. And we have to hunt them all down. We have to hunt them all down.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of names. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like 38 guys for one summer. Think about this for a movie, for movie wise. Dude, we could get like nine, nine films out of this. Yeah, yeah.

We just kept like, we can continue to make this movie. So what were we hunting? What do you mean? We're avenging our mother's death. We're trying to find who killed our mom. Oh yeah, maybe she's- That's it. It was one of the guys that she slept with that killed her.

Oh. Right. And we're avenging her death. Now we're getting serious fuck. Maybe we- You know what I mean? It's a party at the beginning, but then it's like, we gotta get down to business, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're avenging her death. Maybe we, you know, I mean, it's a party at the beginning, but then it's like, we got to get down to business. Yeah. Yeah. Like we have to get real. We hunt down our mother's killer. But then there's one name on the tree that's written like there's blood in it. You know what I mean? It just says

Frank. Right. It was a demon that killed her. What? And we bite off more than we can chew. That's right. Now we're fighting. We kill off all, we kill our biological bodies. We kill everyone on the tree. And that's easy. And then last name is this big Frank blood one. Maybe this is the, yeah. I like this. Yeah, you like it.

So now we're fighting the underworld. Exactly. We are badass the first like half hour of the movie. And then we find the last, how about this, it goes back to we just kill everyone our mom fucked. We don't like living in a world where a guy fuck our mom right But there's got to be a big because we couldn't stop hearing about it the beginning in the movies just us as kids hearing about It the whole time everyone coming up big big big big big foot has to be One of the things yeah, maybe that's Frank. I don't know Frank Bigfoot Frank. Yeah. Yeah, Bigfoot, she could be one of the things we could. Maybe that's Frank, I don't know. Frank, Bigfoot Frank? Yeah, yeah.

Bigfoot Frank? Or a vampire, or he could be a vampire. But you know what you've never seen? What's that? A combo. In fact, dude, let me just throw this out there. Bigfoot the vampire? Yeah.

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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. I like Bigfoot Empire. He's hairy, but he wears a fucking black cloak. You like one of those black cap caves, but he's super hairy. Well, how about this? The idea is still the same though, because vampires aren't really seen that often. Bigfoot's never seen that often.

So he moves as seamlessly as Bigfoot does. Okay. Well, go ahead, Bobby. You know what? I have an idea. I got to toss it up. Right? So later in the movie reveal, we meet the guy, right?

Frank the vampire, right? The big foot fan. You're gonna stick with Frank, or is that just a working name for him? No, we can figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that could be open to discussion. Lusandrio.

Lusandrio. That's good, Lusandrio. No. We'll go with that. No, no, no, the Manhattan killer. Oh, Luigi Mangione. Mangione. Luigi.

Yeah, yeah, we'll just call him Mangione? Man Gioni? Right right and we later reveals We see his penis, and it's been stitched on there. She's got a franken deck too. Oh Wow, okay. It's what do you think he's got like stitch it? Yeah beginning from that. It's like she keel o'neil's dick like it's a black Okay, yeah, yeah Back in the day right back in the time back to your sexual desires Bigfoot back to the big foot no you dig us to the tent with the black cock Let's get back to the movie dude. I can incorporate another movie into it guy. Yeah, all right Shazam another black guy I get it, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The tent, we're back to the tent. So was it Shukeel in a new movie called Shazam? That character.

I know there's no bad ideas in BrainStorm, right? I know that. I'm just saying maybe let's reel us back in. I think we were really bad at something. All right, all right, we'll take out the Franken-dick. It's getting a little too mystical. We need to pick one magical thing and stick with it. Well, we combined the, that's fine, that's enough.

You can't take it out, Art already built the dick. We already have them building it right now. Oh, we do? Yeah, they're working on it now. All right, we'll keep it in there. All right, it's enough. You can't take it out. Art already built the dick. We already have it right now. Oh, we do? Yeah, they're working on it now. All right, we'll keep it in there. All right, it's in. And you know, for the airplanes, we'll just cut that scene out.

That's too expensive. Or blur it. Too expensive. Okay, okay. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. And he goes, he goes, mm. Oh, you want to do the voice of Bigfoot 2?

Yeah, maybe. I thought we'd hire somebody, but I didn't. Wait, wait, wait. What if you play the Bigfoot 2 in the makeup and shit? What if we find out, okay, here's how we get three different mystical things in. We find out who our dads were are three monsters that fucked up. So we kill all these regular guys and that doesn't solve anything. And then we find out your dad was a Bigfoot and it's you and a bunch of makeup and like- Where the fuck is my dad Bigfoot, bro? You know who you are.

Why am I Bigfoot, bro? No, no you are. Why am I Bigfoot, bro? No, no, no. It should be a dwarf. Bobby. Yeah, I know. I thought that's good. You're Littlefoot. Oh, Littlefoot.

I think mine's better for you. I don't know why you're not a beef. I'm making you a fucking strong, fucking Bigfoot. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. Why are you downgrading me to Littlefoot, dude? If your father's Bigfoot, you're Littlefoot.

Oh, you'd be the dickless elf. I'm like, you're a strong, awesome Bigfoot. Oh, you'd be the dickless elf. That's what they're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, you're strong. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Bigfoot, thank you.

That's my dad. Well, who is your dad? I know. Go ahead. Your dad was an Oompa Loompa. Okay, what is this about, Bobby? You've turned on me. Yeah, you were on his team.

I know. I remember this movie, Little Bigfoot. It was a great movie. Oh, dude. That's our movie. oh, I remember this movie, Little Bigfoot. It was a great movie. Oh, dude. Dude. That's our movie. Let's just remake that movie, dude. Let's grab the whole thing.

Yeah, let's grab the whole thing, good. I got it, my dad will be Loch Ness. The Loch Ness Monster. Oh, so we're incorporating more, wow. That's it. I see. That's very, a redhead out there. That's pretty cool, dude.

Yeah. But I apologize about the fucking Oompa Loompa dude, that was my bad dude. Well, come up with something better fucking Oompa Loompa, dude. That was my bad, dude. Well, come up with something better, then. Okay, I will. Who's his dad? What? Who's his dad?

What is this, guys? Oh, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. All right, very good. Very fun. Dude, that's fucking fucked up. My dad's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. I think it would be, okay, and it's a good suggestion. That's so fucked up.

These are gassed, dude. Time out. So now we're in the Ghostbusters universe? Give me Greek mythical, Greek myth. There we go. Let's go mythic. You know what is mythical creature Danny DeVito from Hercules a pan. Half goats half that's a hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Look up Phil from Hercules. He just said look at Phil from Hercules. He typed out Danny DeVito. That is a hundred percent you. That's so you dude. What is that? Tasmanian Devil? What is it? It's a pig.

I think it's called a pan. Oh, a pan. Okay. And they were horny too. They were half goat, half man. It's actually so right it's fucked up. Let's end the movie. Let's finish the movie. Okay, so like, alright, so we'll figure out who our dads are. We run into the fucking, the vlog, the Sasasquatch with the frankendick. Okay, what, you're back there. I thought we were born with the black frankendick. Oh, no, no. Listen.

Mangione. Listen, listen. If you're quiet, you can hear the zippers opening up the tent. I can hear them. So I also just love that Jim is doing like grassroots like oh, yeah pro trans or jack-off organizing Yeah, I get one friend at a time. He's like giving he's walking you through who know I asked I asked Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he didn't you know, but I go who's out there Don't take it so serious, man. He's just setting up

Defensive because I don't want you here. Yeah, You know what I mean? I go, whoa, dude. First of all, Jim knows we love and respect him. Yeah. And that's what he's promised. I apologize, Star Wars. And Jim's not listening. Yeah, yeah. OK, yeah, yeah, you're right.

We're being very clear. Yeah, no chance. Yeah. That's my bad. So OK. How does the movie end, Bob? So have we killed our mythical dads? Can't be that easy.

Or do we become them? We become them is more. How about we kill them, and we think we've done it, Or do we become them? We become them is more. How about we kill them and we think we've done them and then we become them. Oh, we got to. And then we fucking, we start the prophecy and then we go fuck some whore. And then it starts all over.

Yeah, together. But there's gotta be like a multiverse thing because all of them have it. We gotta put it in there. Okay, so how do we get- Multiverse is hacked now, dude. It's over. It's out.

It's done. Really? Because if we go to another thing and then Sasquatch like it could be like Emmanuel Lewis's, you know You're right. I'm zippered. Yeah. Yeah You know what we'll figure that out later, okay, you find him attractive you were a boy he Will figure out what figured out you watch that show did you find him hot who the manual Lewis No, but he used to I remember I told you he used to call me randomly at like 2 3 in the morning Yeah, Bob. I'm in town! From Atlanta! And you never would hang out? And I never would hang out with him. Why? Maybe I wanted to borrow some clothes.

I forgot my sweaters. Do you have something I can wear, Bob? Maybe, maybe that was it. I can borrow a jacket. It's cold in LA. I never hung out with him because I don't, I don't know, it's just. You don't hang out.

Yeah, I don't hang out. You don't hang out. Yeah, yeah, I don't hang out. If you're gonna hang out, it's gonna be with me at most. Otherwise, you don't hang out. Or a girl. Do we have stars like that anymore, though? I mean, we had the Verne Troyers and the Gary Coleman's.

There's no little. But he's not really a little, he's like a, you know. Peter Dinklage is a spokified movie star. That's right. You just threw it out there. He's the one he's the one Warwick Davis is still doing his thing. Yeah, and Troy rest in peace Tony Cox rest in peace What about that little guy that was R2d2? He's definitely dead. Yeah. Yeah, what's that guy's name again? I can't remember his name. I don't know it's a famous actor Yeah, yeah, no, it wasn't No, he was he actually what Kenny Baker Kenny Baker. That's right. No he was there's Kenny Baker

Imagine being in that metal fucking suit probably all day long probably loved it. I Loved it. They haven't approached you to get I'm not even joking yeah I would assume they would ask you to be in like the extended Star Wars universe with some kind of little guy For real you'd be awesome at it. Not in the fucking. Let me hear you do some R2-D2 beep-bop-boop. Let me see.

Beep-beep. No, they're not gonna cast me. I'm not going, I gotta drink some water. Please. Hold on, hold on. For real, I think, like in the Mandalorian or in the fucking. Okay, so I swear to God.

Yeah. I auditioned for that last one. You know the lady with the hair, head thing? Oh yes, yes, yes. Right? In the Mandalorian? No, You know the lady with the hair head thing? Oh yes, yes, yes. In the Mandalorian? No, it was the lady with the head thing. The last one. Oh, it was Wutcherface.

Lupita Nyong'o did the voiceover. Exactly. And I auditioned for like a nine armed alien and I didn't even come close. Yeah. I didn't even come close. What do you think it was? You know who you'd be great close. What do you think it was?

You know you'd be great as? What are you implying? No, I'm just saying, what do you think it was? What the fuck are you implying? What do you think the reason you didn't even come close was? I didn't read good. They didn't see me as the part bro. What are you fucking implying, dog? Well, nine arms is hard to fit on your little body.

I mean, they get maybe six. Well, they could be small arms. I gotta be real small. I mean, those get maybe six. Well, they could be small arms. I gotta be real small. I mean, those two barely fit on that frame. Stop it. It's good. Stop it. But it's true. Nine. I think you're right. Also nine. How are they? How are they? They could rewrite it. Why an odd number of arms? I don't know. Yeah. Where's the fucking miss? Where's the arm? There's probably just a voice thing, right? No, it was an actual guy. Practical costume.

Practical costume, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn, you would've been awesome. Like a bodyhunter, like a, not a bodyhunter. You know what, that pisses me off. Who got it? Let's fucking find him and fuck him up. I never get those things. He's probably such an accredited actor

that we're like, I get it. I mean, do you read for, have you ever read for a Marvel or a Star Wars movie? Buddy, what are they gonna do with me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have, and they never get them. If I could have gotten anything, it would have been whatever Burr did in the Mandalorian.

That's true. If Burr was busy. Yeah, they were like, let's go get fucking Santino. And do you do it in the impression you do? They're like, you want me to be him? Well, you know what? We do.

Come to think of it, you look like BB-2. What's the new little robot? BB-8. BB-8. All right, well you could be fucking Babu Frick. How about that? Yeah, you are, dude8 BB8? All right. Well, you could be fucking Babu Frick Yeah, now let's pull up Babu Frick You win this Dude you win this dude, that is obvious. Literally, dude, you win this, dude. That is me. Bro, you know how he was cute. What did he say?

How was he talking? He was really cute. He was like, he didn't really speak, did he? He was fucking adorable. He was so cute, that guy. Well, I can't understand you most of the time, so that lines up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You really actually, for real, feel kind of like Babu Frick. Yeah, I'm Babu Frick, dude, Babu Frick. What a cute one. Whoever made that, dude. That's such a good looking character. It's a good character. I don't even know what happens in the new Star Wars. I've seen them all just so out of my mind

on acid or mushroom. Really? Yeah, yeah. Never sober. Never sober, I just go in. I haven't seen any of the new ones. I just am not there. I don't think they're good,

but to me they are my favorite ones because I was so fucked up. Like I mean, I've told this story before, I wanna say it too much, but people thought I was like special needs when I saw the Babu Frick one, because it was like Christmas and I was on, I was so fucked up, I was with my brother, my best friend,

and every time he would come on the screen, I would be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've told that story a hundred times, but I literally like, and so for me, I have no, like the old ones I saw when I was a little kid, so I don't remember them. You didn't rewatch them as an adult?

Not really. Nah, it's worth it. The prequels, I liked the last one. Can I ask you some trivia? Yeah, sure. I'm not gonna get it right, because I've seen one month or two. Would you like to play some Star Wars trivia or no?

Shoe for the hip. Okay. Go, baby. So when you were in college and Star Wars came out how did that feel so funny to think he went to college okay I'm sorry you're all right you're blue skywalkers uncle what was his name you got burnt to a crisp remember you guys know how I got no I don't know uncle Owen uncle oh and I don't know. Uncle Owen. Uncle Owen, I did know.

Are you being real? Yeah. By the way, bad character name. Owen? Owen is just kind of like a weak name. Yeah. There's no depth to it for how like. Wasn't he Ben Kenobi's brother though?

No. I think there was a relationship between Owen and Ben Kenobi that's family. What, that they were related? I think so. What is it? I mean, we're- Owen Lars is Anakin that's family. What, that they were related? I think so. What is it? I mean, we- Owen Lars is Anakin Skywalker's stepbrother,

perceived as the brother of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Oh, so there is some family there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So then those little guys in Star Wars, with the, they're wearing monk hoods, they're little, with glowing gold eyes, what are they called?

The Sand People. No, the Sand People were the, no, Iranians or whatever that was. Oh, careful, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are they called the sand people? No, the sand people were the no Iranians or whatever That was careful. Whoa They are called sand people and that is kind of oh Kenobi is kind of weird about it because they have an actual name, but he calls them sand people But that's not who I'm talking about. Was it my uncle was in this movie They're called Jawas jaw. Ah, but he calls them sand people that there's two sand people the ones that try to kill Luke, right? They're two different things. You're not gonna get away with this guy. There's two, sand people are the ones that try to kill Luke, right? They're two different things.

You're not gonna get away with this guy, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not, Jawa's are different. No, they're not the same thing. Look up a sand people in Star Wars. Look it up, give me a minute. And wait a minute, look up sand people on Carlos's computer, I'm afraid I want to come back up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a sand people. That's a sand people person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jawa's are different than that. Yeah, Jawa's are different. And can we say person of sand instead of sand people? Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.

I'd prefer it. All right, respect, I take it back. Okay, can we continue? You haven't answered anything. I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, you're going to. I let you go. No, no, no. First of all, you asked him for the call.

I'm gonna ask you now. Okay. Okay, what planet does Yoda live on? Oh, fuck. God, my memory's so fucking bad. You don't know. I don't know either. No, no, no. You guessed it with a D.

Dagobah. Yeah, that's right. That's right, bud. I do know that. Last question. Yeah. It was originally colonized by Italians. Yeah, yeah.

That's true. By space Italians. Yeah. So, last question. Got these fucking space guys coming over here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I. By Space Attalus. Yeah. So, last question. Got these fucking space guys coming over here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I ain't going to...

Empire Strikes Back, what's the snowy planet? Hoth. That's right. Yeah. So you really have never seen any of them? No, I have. What are you talking about? I played the games.

I played the... I don't remember any of that shit. I played a bunch of games. The one is the Battlefront. You ever play that? I didn't play that because that one's more... What's the one where you get to be kind of a... You just get to the Battlefront. You ever play that? I didn't play that because that one's more... What's the one where you get to be kind of a... You just get to run the open world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I played those Jedi ones. Right, right. Maybe your own Jedi. I haven't played those. But Battlefront was fun. You know how Battlefront's played? No, I don't play. How was Battlefront?

How was it played? Well, you just play as like... It's like Stormtroopers versus the Rebels, right? And there's like, you're playing everyone online and you're a Stormtrooper, right? And it's like just chaos, right? I mean, you're like killing Rebels, right? And if you kill enough in a row, you get to choose to be, you know what I mean, Luke Skywalker, if you get enough kills.

And then for like a minute, you have a lightsaber and you can just fuck people up. It's such a fun game. That is kinda fun. Let's move on from Star Wars. I feel like you're, I'm boring you. I feel like I'm 24 year old that matched Bob in Tinder. You never saw Phantom Menace,

them the new ones with the J.J. Abrams ones? None of the new ones, no. Wow, you've seen them. Yeah. Yeah, because of the little guy. Only when I was a kid. I only saw the ones when we were young. Okay, okay.

And when I was in high school, I liked them. You're not a sci-fi guy though. Not a sci-fi guy. Yeah, yeah, you're a sci-fi, right? I like sci-fi. Yeah, I know. I'm open to it. Yeah, we're similar in many ways.

I'm open to sci-fi. Sci-fi has to be, for me, like, no, I like fantasy more than sci-fi. I like fantasy over sci-fi. Oh, you like a horse, you like an elf. I like fantasy over sci-fi. No, I like, I just like, I like fantasy more than sci-fi. I like fantasy. Oh, you like a horse, you like an elf. I like fantasy over sci-fi. No, I like whimsical shit. I think out of world stuff that's like weirdo shit.

Lord of the Rings over Star Wars kind of shit. I'm not gonna say that it's better than Star Wars. Star Wars is just so good because when we were kids it was so different. Yeah, yeah. And it was the only thing that was in fucking space. Yeah, I guess was the only thing that was in fucking space. Yeah, I guess I'm not I guess I guess what I'm thinking I was like a couple like a few bangers like

total recall Okay, I'm over. Okay, right, right, right. I was more to like a lead runner comedy whimsy. Yeah, a cone heads Okay, okay, like comedy whimsy like it like impractical comedy. I love that high high concept like crazy comedy Yeah shit, that's obviously not real. Yeah, I love that. High concept, like crazy comedy shit. Yeah, shit that's obviously not real. I love that. I mean like, Princess Bride might be one of the best written comedy films of all time.

Front to back. That's a great movie. And the whimsy in that movie is fucking incredible. You never saw it? 19 and a while. Yeah. It's so good. It's a great movie.

Were you a never ending story guy? Yes, I loved that shit. Fucking loved. Atreyu? Never ending story. By the way, you know who followed me on Instagram the other day speaking of fucking the dog from that I try you I try you or the dog first of all first of all his name that this dog is not the name what about the big turtle was another name of the big

dog no it's okay give me the first and F he just said it no he didn't did you say it shut up yeah yeah F there's the turtle you know I might rewatch never F. He just said it. No, he didn't. Did you say it? Shut up. Yeah, yeah. F. There's the turtle. You know what, I might re-watch Never Ending. Falcor. Falcor. Yeah, my dog.

What's the turtle's name? Morla the angel. Morla. Wow. Morla. What a great name. Oh wait, yeah, you know who follow me on Instagram? Mandy fucking Patinkin.

Wow, that's huge. Who's that? You don't know who fucking Mandy Patinkin is? You're a cinephile. Oh, Mandy Patinkin. He is Inigo Montoya. He is the six-fingered, he is going after, by the way, you know who he's going after in the movie?

Yeah. Who is he going to kill, the six-fingered? Is he on Homeland? He is on Homeland. Okay, that's how I know. So Mandy Patinkin played Inigo Montoya, who goes after who in the film. What famous director do we know

that you and I have both worked for play the six-fingered man? Bring up a picture of the six-fingered man from Princess Bride. This is incredible. You've worked for this man. Who is that guy? Yeah, I know it's Christopher Guest,

but I never worked for him. Wait, I thought you did. You know what? That's another way of you slamming my career. And it's so fucked up that you do that. So you're gonna you know I'm gonna go I never work for him that you're Gonna go oh, yeah, my bad, and then now I'm hurt How did you work for him? I'll give you six degrees of Kevin Bagan you worked with his wife in a major motion picture. That's true

Okay, so that's enough. How did you work for him? I forgot you didn't work with him Well, how did you work for him? On a comedy project that we were just yeah never he would never call me in no he told me he was gonna call you in But how did you work for him? I forgot you didn't work with him. How did you work for him? On a comedy project that we were just... Yeah, he would never call me in. No, he told me he was gonna call you in. Couldn't get a hold of you. Why are you getting so defensive?

I'm not being defensive, he has a way of going side and then hurting me. I thought you did something with him. I never did anything with him. What about the movie he did with the little people, with everyone in the costume, you didn't do that? No, I didn't do the little people. Willow, what are you talking about?

No, what was the one where everybody was a mascot I auditioned for it I thought you did it no I never did it I auditioned for I apologize but was I you at least audition yeah um so I have not worked for him I did a show for him called family tree it was I did one throwaway episode that's great it was fantastic congratulations and thank you so much damn it did you feel good no one's heard of that fucking show that's exactly that's true isn't it better to have making you feel good. No one's heard of that fucking show. That's exactly right. That's true.

Isn't it better to have not worked for him and maybe potentially be in something good? But someone got some buzz on the cult movie. What's that? Someone got some buzz on the cult movie. Why is this turning adversarial right now? It's not being adversarial. Well congratulations now bro.

It seems like somebody, a demon possessed you. No. Like a benevolent demon. What a joy that you're working. I am happy for you. I like how you pretend like you've never seen this show. This is exactly what he does. That is true.

Can't wait. But we were all, we're hopping along, we're talking about fucking Star Wars. Yeah, you're right. And then one perceived slight and Bobby has shut down. He does that. Yeah, yeah. And now he's acting out.

No, I'm kidding. I don't, you're saying, I'm very good to Joe. I need you around more. Yeah. How about this? This will get him in a good mood. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Franken-dick. Let's talk about Black Cock for two minutes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get Bobby back in a good mood. Franken, Franken. DraftKings Sportsbook playoffs? Playoffs? We're talking about playoffs. Playoffs? We, you bet we are.

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and get up to $75 in PC optimum points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. By the way, I saw a clip on the internet of a guy finishing a marathon and his cock was ginormous and everyone is stitching it on the internet like, is no one gonna say anything? He like finished first and his bulge was comical.

Let me look, let me look. Oh my God, don't. I know bulges. Look at my big dick marathon. Coming marathon gay porn video. I know and by the way Save it for later Fucking you know the tent is it's a rhetorical device. We don't actually want to pull a porn Get back to reality the movie is getting a lot of talk by everyone is in them streets talking it is fun

I mean, it's crazy. I am shocked that I got to fucking make a movie But yeah, it's fun. Go rent it. I buy it buy it rent it on Amazon Apple wherever the fuck you buy Now how did this is it something that you had pitched or is it something you just got cast in? No, I wrote it. Oh, you did I wrote it with my friends and we did a short movie Or we did a short of it and a production company like wanted to make it. Wow. Dark Sky Films and Queensbury Pictures and they were just like I'm kind of it's kind of fucking wild. It's amazing. Like it's just we just made a movie. Amazing. And it's fun

It's stupid as shit and it was like I really do want to make I mean we're joking about You know the movie about our are we mythical fathers? and it was like, I really do want to make, I mean, we're joking about, you know, the movie about our mythical fathers. I don't think we are. It was fun as shit because, like, I really think comedy movies should just be this, where it's like friends get together, have an idea, we all carve out, we write it over however long,

we carve out a month, and we shoot it on a modest budget because we know we can actually be funny. We don't keep it super, we keep it reasonable. And then like, I mean, what the fuck have we done? Like by getting rejected from the industry for years, we all had to build our own fan bases. Look at this. And I think that's what I found.

It was just a test of the waters to see if it was like fun, but I really want to make more movies with my friends and just, even if, they don't have to be fucking huge releases or anything, just to make stuff for the fans that, people that come out to see us do stand-up, who listen to our podcasts, they fucking like comedy movies too,

it's just nobody's fucking making them. No one's making them. You just inspired me, I think we're gonna do it. Let's do it. I'm being real, let's do it. Let's fucking do it Yeah. Yeah, you know, we got to do though, right? I will write we have to do it. We're gonna do it. You'll do it. Yeah 100% in all right I want to do it really bad. That's what I'd be great doing because you know, it's inspiring, you know, it's like Um, I think you're right. I think we have I mean cuz you get approached all the time

You know I mean and to read or like you mean to look at my script, but it's like. I don't. Oh really, you're trying to do a Christopher Guest thing again? You think I'm doing that? I'm not doing that. I don't get it all the time. I don't get approached all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't have a deal with NBC in place where I'm developing a show about an Asian. You want one for Hulu? I don't have one. You have a Hulu show. I have a special on Hulu. And a show with me on Hulu. Right.

You were on that show? Yeah, dude, we pitched a show. We did, yeah. By. You're on that show? Yeah, dude, we pitched a show. By the way, what are these, so I'm looking for a fat bug or a fat bird or something for this show. By the way, you think you're not gonna be on the show when we're done? 100% you're not. You're mine? Yeah, maybe.

No read, nothing. Love it. I don't wanna give it away, but I would do, there is, trust me. Okay. Don't worry about it. I'm interested. We already have the people that we have in our sight lines of who we want on this show.

And Bobby wants a lot of good cameos in the pilot. So Bill Cosby said he would do a pilot. Yeah. You guys got way back. Space is coming back. Space is back? Yeah, Space is back. Yeah, he's coming back.

That would be awesome. He plays the principal. Yeah, yeah. You boys have been back. Yeah. Well, it's also, I don't know if you guys feel, but it's also cool because it is a ton of people and it feels fun. It feels like it's a team instead of like-

You feel like you're in on something. Yeah. Instead of stand up where you're just by yourself, especially a movie where you get to, because I did get to cast some of my friends in that one, but it's like, that's another thing about the next- We never really- Yeah, not gotten out of. I believe-

We never got out. Not even on- You actually did. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Did I? Yeah, yeah, but you couldn never got it. Not even, I'm not even. You actually did. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Did I? Yeah, yeah, but you couldn't do it. Oh, cause I was gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's actually true. And there was no part for you. Hey. We couldn't afford you, Bob. What are you gonna play my dad? What did you want to play? Do you wanna play the newscaster that he didn't play and Tom Papa did?

Yeah, Tommy Papa did it. You're not a newscaster, let's be honest. Let's see you read the news. Reece, what, give us, bring up, bring up. No, you're right. You're right, you're right. Wait, wait, bring up the shooting in Midtown

and let me see him read this, read this as if it, let me see you read this, let me see if you could. I wasn't even vying for the part. What the fuck is going on here, dude? Let's hear it. I wasn't, right? Zoom in, ready? There you go, just the first line.

Yeah. Hi, I'm Frank Magione. No wasn't, right? Zoom in, ready? There you go, just the first line. Yeah. Hi, I'm Frank Magione. No, no, no. The guy's name is Maggie. You're fire. Oh, no, no, no. You're fire. No, I gotta create my name.

Yeah. You need a name. Yeah, I'm Troy Fugumoto for ABC Channel 7 News. Luigi Magione, the suspect in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, is fighting his extradition to New York where he faces a murder charge He was denied bail during a court appearance in Pennsylvania. I can't believe you can't do that with the ad reads

That's remarkable Producers on that one. Yeah It takes us an hour and a half cold reading. So could I have done it? You could if I would have practiced you're that talent you don't have the look man. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay You know and we've heard that our whole can trust me the next project. But you don't have the look, man, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. You know, and um. We've heard that our whole career. And trust me, the next project I have, you don't have the look for any of that.

Whoa! Wow! And that's a guarantee. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you really wanna come to, first of all, I don't even know if we were friends then.

I shot it last June. I think I might have done the podcast. Star Wars, I don't care. I get how it works, right. I didn't come to your mind It's fine. No, no there was that there's no it's fine. I have no resentment I want to sing what we do our fucking movie. You're not gonna be Okay, I'd standing up You always get offers you see no, so don't complain.

I do not. Yeah, you do every time, dude. That's not true. I was pumped to have you on tires. Yeah, did you do tires? We were in Austro-Australia. Oh. Oh, tour.

Yeah, we tour too. We tour. Okay. Okay, you fuck. There you go. I would have loved to have you on tires. Yeah, and I'm not doing cult part 2 or whatever the fuck in the movie. Hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, fuck off. I wanted to see you. I was happy. Alright. I was happy when we had you. Can't play a newscaster. I'll fucking show you, dude. There is no newscaster in the world except maybe in like Malaysia that looks like you. Yeah? Connie Chung, bitch. She is so much more staccato.

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, you know, I'll be honest with you, Star Wars in the animated show, we're gonna get you a lot of work there. Hell yeah, dude. And whatever projects that we come up with and that I'm involved with, I will have you on because I just think you're super talented.

I know the street doesn't go both ways. No, it certainly does. But, but, but, but, but, but. Keep going, go ahead. I know the street. Listen, sometimes streets don't go both ways, right but but. Keep going. Go ahead. I know this. Listen, listen. Sometimes streets don't go both ways, right? These two streets do. Do these streets?

These are two ways. Two ways. Two ways. And a free way off ramp. Oh, I don't know. There's a free way. There's the whole thing. And an on ramp. Bridge. All that stuff. Dead end. Right. This is a one way dead end street. Right. But it's fine, dude.

How? I don't know. My mother's cookies. You know, I'll be honest mother's cookies I did not like it Baclava dude all right my Korean grandmother can make better fucking fuck All right, fuck you're being fucking fuck off dude. Try the other one Go eat another dude dude stop it eat. They. Eat, they're right there. Stop it. Eat a different cookie. Eat the brown one. Tell me it's not good.

Yeah, yeah. Eat the brown one and tell me it's not good. I'll eat it on camera. Please do. What do you think? What's the brown one? The one that looks like poo, you mean? Stop it.

I'm sorry. Can I say something about this exchange right now? I just want to put this out to the world just so people understand. Because we're such close friends. But Bobby, you don't let no Asian comedian I just want to put this out to the world so people understand because we're such close friends, but Bobby You don't let no Asian comedian talk about no Greek mama's baklava. That's law Don't let no Asian comedian talk about no Greek mama's baklava. That's law. That is law

You know where I come from we talk about Greek mama's papa. Oh Just need the fucking right. So eat the brown. Let me describe it first But this is like donkey poo. No, it's yeah, dude. Yeah, be out of line right now. You got I'm being serious Fuck you. I'm like, I don't know what you're doing right now. That's a fucking olive oil This guy's mother spice this guy's mother is a fucking queen and made this for you You eat it and you be fucking nice freshly would be nice You don't talk bad about his mom's my mother's cookies look like donkey shit, that's right I wasn't even done with the description with little tiny dried maggots on it

Keep in mind when the show's over. Yeah, he can fuck you up Yeah, I don't think it would I would never but I could but he could but I would know you're good and let's get out Yeah, I don't think you would. I would never, but I could. But he could. But I would. I know you're good. And let's get out, yeah, you're a man. You're a man, dude. Right, you got man strength. All right, take a bite. Is this the thing? Yes.

All right. All right. Phenomenal. And be real about it. Go ahead. Take a sip, don't have to chew into the mic. Fucking people in audio, people in their cars. Oh, they're so pissed.

Rated honestly out of 10. Out of 10. I call it the Bangladesh road cookie. Oh my God. Oh, what? Do you think that was made by feet? No, dude, if I was on a road in Bangladesh. You are so full, all right, we get it.

You're a good actor. You're pretending No, I'm being real. Oh, it's a Bangladesh road cookie It's the same thing right how have you ever been? Yeah, and when I'm saying to you do is this right? That's free in Bangladesh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing you can do about it I'm sure she's a nice lady though Now close your eyes. Bangladesh Road cookie? No. Bum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba Do not play with the shot BFC. I'll take the whole thing home. You'll take the whole thing, yeah. Great, because I fucking love it.

I can't get, I can't put anything down. Okay. Okay, so that's my bad. Just tell me the taste is good, though. Um. It's phenomenal. I mean, the honest truth, it's. Oh my god.

No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be real. What kind of desserts do you like? I don't know, I go to the. Duck feet? You ever had duck feet? Let me be completely and utterly honest with you. Please don't start lying now. I'm not gonna lie, okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The flavor was good. The texture is not my thing. Fantastic. Cause it's a little soft. Yeah, it kinda just crumbles in your mouth and it's not my thing.

Oh, that's wonderful. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's just my own thing. That line is so funny. It kinda just crumbles in your mouth. That's delicious. It just moist, it moistly melts in your mouth. It's got like a pumpkin spicy kind of vibe to it.

It's phenomenal. It's got white people flavor. It's not like a pumpkin spicy kind of vibe to it. It's for not it's got white people flavor It's yeah, I like like a mom his mom is from the Mediterranean This is a it's an olive oil based cookie not butter. Mm-hmm. Okay, it's honey Honey olive oil. Yeah ginger cinnamon. None of that's I would say Sincerely white Yannis's mom and John's start John Stamos's mom would make better cookie That's not true your mom your mom isn't really great It's like a Greek adjacent and that's fine. Yeah, I'm in the fucking dirt, bro. What okay?

Mom is dead his mom's fun, and she still makes better fucking dirt bro. What? Okay. His mom is dead. His mom's fucked. And she still makes better cookies. Damn. Yeah yeah. Fuck you. Yeah fuck you Scott. Fuck you. Tavros. Okay so they're okay guys. Honestly bro. Yeah. Whoa. I don't like this behavior but man you're coming out swinging dude. You're swinging right out. Insane. I mean it's a truth and I'm a truth teller am I not? You are a truth teller. I lay things out on the table and I just I'm all feeling based and my feeling is is that it's I eat Stamos would never bring you cookies. Yeah, yes, go truth teller look into your glass ball Tell me what you see what this is what I see. Okay. Tell me what you see dude. Oh, I see Yes, your mom Isn't hairy enough to be Greek.

Whoa. Okay, bro. That's not a thing. That's not a thing? That's not a thing? That's a compliment. Go back, go back. You named a negative thing and said she wasn't that. That's true, that's true. I just don't do crystal ball improv. Yeah. Yeah, I've never learned it.

You didn't take that class. I didn't take that class. Yeah, yeah. That's more groundlings. That's groundlings stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know what, dude, it was pretty good and thank you so much. And we'll move on.

But can I be honest with you, if you never brought cookies here again, I wouldn't even think about it. I would think about it because I'd want them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So bring them for me. Honestly, can you get this trash here? Oh my God.

I'm being real, I'm being real. I'm being real. Because I don't want it in front of me. McCone, if you bring a trash can over here throw that in the trash can I'm gonna be fucking pissed. Oh my god. Thank you, McCona. Don't do this. Don't do this Yeah, the disrespect is crazy. Look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. Just look at my eyes right now You know you piece of shit Beat it beat it beat a kid cat! Beat it. Beat it. Beat it, kid. Then he beats it to the kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Garbage. Garbage. Garbage, everybody. How do you say garbage in Greek? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Teach him how to say it, just so he knows. Scoopedia. Scoopedia. Scoopedia. Play it for us. Click it. Yeah. Huh? Scoopedia. Scoopedia. Scoopedia. Scoopedia. That's insane.

You need to get back in the tent. You need to be more loving. I understand that this is because you're insecure, Bob, and you're lashing out. Yeah. I'm insecure about what? Scabros? I honestly, legitimately don't know, but you are.

And that's what's causing this behavior. You know what's kind of beautiful about that? That is true. He shouldn't be insecure about anything. No, he shouldn't. It. You know what's kind of beautiful about that? That is true. He shouldn't be insecure about anything. No, he shouldn't. It's a perfect little being, but why are you? Why are you throwing things? I feel like I'm being attacked.

By whom? Okay, let's go back, let's go back to the last 40 minutes. That's not even it. No, that wasn't even it, right? Number one, the fucking short round slams. You started. Okay, number two, the fucking Franken-dick like I wanna suck dick or something

I don't want to suck the dick all right okay, then number three to pile it on you know He offered everybody in town a role in his movie accept me That's not right because I'm not personal enough to play a fucking news anchor, okay The old number three number four was newscaster left. Yeah, yeah, okay fine, which is an insult to me more than anything number four um shitty cookie His mom never bake him cookies, that's what this is His mom never bake him cookies

I see his brain working a thousand miles a minute His mom never bake him cookies It's like another act. Are you guys looking forward to Nostraffu? Yeah I'm looking for another act. Are you guys looking forward to Nostraffu? Nostraffu. Yeah. Nostraffu. Are you looking forward to it or no? Big time. Me too.

Aren't you? Robert Eggers, I love him. Yeah. Oh yeah. It'll be fun. Are you going to see this Dylan movie or no? Dylan who? This Bob Dylan movie.

Oh yeah, you know what? I'm not interested in that. I love you. No disrespect to Timmy, but I just, those movies don't interest me. Like the Elvis movie? Yeah. Yeah, although the Elvis movie was, if Baz Luhrmann did it, I would watch this movie

because I like Chalamet and it's so weird and like, it's a frenet, the pacing's crazy. Right. Anyway. Um. Anyway, we're not gonna see it. I don't know what it is, it just turned me off. The preview doesn't look good.

Coney and I talked about it too. I'm not a huge Dylan guy. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about. It just turned me off. The preview doesn't look good. Coney and I talked about it too. I'm not a huge Dylan guy. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about something. Hey, Mr. Town. I don't know how to do it. But a bunch of boomers, that's the problem. I know, but even still, my dad's a boomer though. He just never was a Dylan guy either.

Yeah, which one? The criminal or? Dude. No, the criminal was more rockin'. All rock. Highway 61 Revisited, you didn't like that? Blonde on blonde, blood on tracks. Blonde on blonde, if it's a pornography.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean these are masterpiece albums, dude. Wait, really? I mean real, these are the Dylan albums. I just don't really love them. This might be a generational thing. Oh, you think so, guy?

I do. Really? Yeah, I'm gonna feed into it. Well, yeah, because after Vietnam, you kinda were. Fuck you, yeah. Fuck, fuck. What? After Vietnam what?

After Vietnam, that's when you found your niche. That's like when you really started to groove. Yeah. You're fresh out of Vietnam. Yeah, you got back. Yeah. You were a spy. Yeah.

They sent you into the NBA. 66. Yeah. You were two. Yeah, I was, no, I wasn't even born yet, thank you. So you had to think about it though. I'm not that old. You did have to siphon through that brain to go.

It is crazy. You're very youthful. It always takes me back. It's awesome to watch people find out your age for the first time. How old are you again? I'm 35. I have the opposite problem. Oh shit, dude. Yeah. No, you look great. I have the opposite problem. Oh shit, dude.

Yeah, yeah. No, you look great. You have a baby face. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, so when you hear my age. You also kind of have baby hair. Yeah. That's good.

That's really good. It's both. So 53 is old. No, it's not old, dude. We're just fucking around. It's not. No, I'm just saying, but that's much older than you. No, you're 40.

I'm 41. You're closer to death, for sure. I would honestly just assume you were, yeah, we're just fucking around. No, I'm just saying, but that's much older than you. You're 40. I'm 41, you're closer to death for sure. I would honestly just assume you were, yeah, you're a same demographic maybe. Yeah. Okay. Because of your lifestyle, we talked about that. Yeah, I mean, I probably had life experiences different than you. I think when I was in high school,

there was no cell phones and stuff. Did you have cell phones when you were in high school? Yeah. Yeah, we didn't have that. Or internet. I didn't have a cell phone. in high school? Yeah. Yeah, we didn't have that. But not. Or internet. I didn't have a cell phone. Senior year.

T9. Yeah, T9 texting. I was fucking on T9. People got cell phones. My senior years, people started to like, it started to become a thing. You didn't get one though, right? I did get one at the end of my senior year.

Yeah, I did get one. Did you beg your parents? Beg, beg, beg, beg, beg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got a Nokia, a little Nokia. Little brick. Little Nokia brick. And that game Snake, I played like 12 hours all day. All day, all day Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got a Nokia, a little Nokia. Little brick. Little Nokia brick.

And that game Snake, I played like 12 hours all day. All day, all day, every single fucking day. That game is so fun. See, I'm generation, I'm Super Nintendo. Yeah, me too. You're Super Nintendo too? Mm-hmm. I'm Nintendo first, but then SNES was my shit.

Okay, see that, right, so I guess I'm more Super Nintendo, you're more Super Nintendo. Guess what I am. And you're more Atari. No. That, see that, right. So I guess I'm more Super Nintendo, I'm more Nintendo, you're more Super Nintendo. Guess what I am. And you're more Atari. No. That is Atari. In television. Oh, in television, yeah.

You know what in television is? Oh, you plugged in the fucking thing? No, look up in television. Damn. That's what I played with. Yeah. Look at that thing. That looks like a hot radio.

Is it funny, one of your cousins made it. Yeah, inision was incredible. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That looks pretty fun. They are pretty tight. You didn't know any better.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, the cookies worked. Yeah, it was a cookie. The cookie came out. My mom heard you cursing her. Right, right. She'll hit you from anywhere. She's good like that.

There was like, in television, there was a game that was like a Dungeons and Dragons game. But basically, it was like this little, just a box, and you were a dot. Mm-hmm. Right? Oh, yeah. I do know this.

Right? So I, right? Like that. That was pretty much what it was. And I went over to my friend's house, and he goes, check this out. And see where the green is? That those are areas that you're not supposed to go.

Right. Bad boy. But he goes, check this out. And he went through into a green area, and he goes secret I'm like and at that time it was like wow yeah, he's like what's no rules here. He started taking his pants off Wow went back to the town huh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Went back to the tent, huh? Yeah, you did. Yeah, went right to the tent. You do.

Oh, OK. We're figuring it out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Secret room. No one has to know what we do in here. I'm finding out what the lashing out is. This time it's 75% latent homosexuality, 25% career

anxiety. That's what the cocktail of the last time was today. I just put it together. I think it's 80-20 if I'm being honest. A little bit more. A little bit more. Cause career is going good. Yeah, but even, but he does, he still is sensitive

for some reason I don't understand. Cause you are awesome. You're the man and people want you and stuff, but still, you know, a little lashing out. Yeah, the shaky lashing out for no reason. And it's not, and it's not. I respond to energy. You do. Yeah. And your energy was a little lashing out. Yeah, the shaky lashing out for no reason. And it's not, and it's not- I respond to energy. You do.

Yeah. And your energy was a little too much. You know. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you came in here like you're the boss, and I was like, I'm gonna push back. You wanted to make sure he knew you were the boss.

That's right. The voice is back. Yeah. Anyway, we're all good here. It's fucking cookie shit. Hey, hey, hey. Cookie shit. Hey, stop with all good here. It's fucking cookie shit. Hey, stop with the cookie shit. It's clean.

It's clean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks fun. Congratulations, everybody. Were you a Dungeons and Dragons guy? Were you a D&D guy? No, but can I tell you about Dungeons and Dragons real quick? There's a Dungeons and Dragons movie that Chris Pine was in. It's really

good. We gotta pull it up. It's called, what's it called? The End of Thieves or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honor Among Thieves. That movie was so surprisingly good. Here's my problem. I've heard that. Here's my key problem. Why is there a hot guy in Dungeons and Dragons thing? Well, he's a rogue. It's not, now we're back on the same page. He was a rogue, he was obviously a rogue. Make this entire cast unattractive. Yeah.

Make this entire- These forks need to pretend they're a sexy guy. But I really like them. They're avatar. That's what every guy who plays thinks they look like. Guys that look like me play, think they're that, think they're getting goblin pussy looking like that. That's the whole point of it.

You can get goblin pussy though. Oh, and I do, Mike. That's the irony. No, if we were in that world, would you get goblin pussy? Me? Without question. No, it's not my style.

Oh, you'd be only for elf pussy? Come on, dude, relax. Come on, dude. Fairy elf. Every once in a while, you'd get a little goblin pussy. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I'd stick to my elves. I'd stick to my elf, my fairies, I'd stick to my.

Fairies are tiny though. My favorite. Yeah, perfect. Tiny. Tiny. Tiny cock. Yeah. Tiny fairy.

Yeah, I'm just fucking Tinkerbell and it just makes sense. Yeah. I think it's just that size. I'm like, yeah. Imagine fucking a fairy and then she's like, is it in? No. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Yeah. But what would you be? Would you be? A nymph. I'd like a nymph. I'd be more into those. I'd be into alchemy. Ooh, you'd be a wizard, a warlock.

You'd be a warlock. Like potions, you know, and that's my whole thing. I'd want to be one of those big, I'd want to have a big ax. He wants alchemy. Oh, you're like, you're like Gimli. I want to be a brute. You're like Gimli. He wants alchemy. Oh, you're like Gimli. I want to be a brute. You're like Gimli.

He wants alchemy so he can like pour himself a pocket pussy. Yeah. Yeah. I like collecting things, you know what I mean? Like mushrooms and whatnot. What would you be in that? You're a forger. Yeah, a forger.

What would you be in that? Oh, you know, I'd be carrying some sort of weapon. I'd be defending the community. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I'd be a brute. Yeah, you'd be a brute. I'd be a brute. I'd be a brute.

No, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy. No, dude. You'd be my companion. I'd be a brute. I'd be a brute. No, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy. No, dude. You'd be my companion. I'd be a brute. Someone's gotta see over the trees. No, you're like Samwise Gamgee, the emotional support. Yes. No, no, you are a physical man.

Okay, how about this? You and I would be a team. Just say that. I'd like that. We'd be a team and how about this? We'd be a team, you're getting crazy goblin pussy, and I'm focused on the mission. I'm in there, yeah, that's true.

And that's the character dynamic. That is true, that is true. And I'm like, stop, we have to go. And you're like, just let me Yeah, yeah, that's true. And that's the character dynamic. That is true, that is true. And I'm like, stop, we have to go. Yeah, yeah, one second. And you're like, just let me hit this real quick. And I'm like, Bobby, can you mix me up in a Lix with the Cures herpes? Yeah.

Like, here you go. Yeah. I already took it this morning. Blup, blup, blup. And then I would say, can I go with you guys? Yeah. Yeah, well maybe not on this run. No, no, no, the horse.

Because I've never seen a dragon before and I know you guys are gonna go hunt that dragon. Oh, and that's awesome and we're gonna next time for sure. We're gonna for sure. Actually we're not even gonna see any dragon. Not on this journey, no way. Why are you going to Mount Lonely? Well. That's where the dragon is.

No, no, there's a. We're going by there. Near it. Near. Oh, I see. But not stop. But then where would you go? Are you going to Carlsbad?

We've got. Or Bakersfield? I mean, where are you going? Do you know about the sand people? Oh, no. Oh, yeah, okay. We're gonna see that. Okay, so you wouldn't invite me to the end.

No, we would. Of course we would. It would just depend on the mission. So let me throw you some things. Damsel in distress, would I get to go? No, that's nuts. I say we bring him. What for?

Yeah, how many damsels are there? Although you, can I be honest? Yeah. You're invited to today? Ooh, you're not getting are there? Although you, can I be honest? Yeah. You invited to today? Ooh, you're not gonna invite a damsel in the street. Oh, interesting. I don't know. Oh, interesting.

Look, when we're podcasting, this is fine. But we're in the woods. Yeah. There's orcs descending on us. Yeah. I can't have a little freak out, you know what I mean? Because we offended you. Yeah, you can't panic.

We need the eye on the prize. I don't need to worry. Is he actually gonna give me the cure for orc pussy? See, here's the thing for Orc Pussy? See, here's the thing, Stavros, okay? Is he mad at me? I wouldn't be mad because you actually invited me into your movie. Right? It's when you don't invite me is when I get mad. Do you see how that works, fuckface?

I understand. You understand how that works, fuckface? So if you invite me, I'm jolly because I like to feel included, you fuckface. Hey, hey, hey, hey. No, I'm sorry, my bad. That's all right. I'm so sorry. You're right.

We would take you on a mission. On my bad. I'm a Magreza. I wish... What would be awesome is I wish I could go back in time and just send an email to you that you definitely would have just missed, wouldn't have read. Yeah, you could prove it. I sent you an email and I'm like, oh, my bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would love to hack your email. He wouldn't have known. You could have told him we talked about it. I should you an email. They're like all my bad. Yeah, yeah I would love to have you wouldn't have known yeah, you told them we talked about I should have said actually we did Do what are you talking about? You're supposed to be the second lead? Yeah, you bailed yeah, I had to rewrite the whole movie it was that the guy was Korean anymore I probably wouldn't have done it in the first place. Yeah You know that right? I do yeah First place what's frustrating? I know you would have turned me down. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't read it Immediate now well everybody at home needs to go watch watch it because I read a couple of reviews. I'm lying go on rotten tomato

Yeah, go go go check it out. Also get the calendar. Yeah, please buy tickets. I'm going on a huge tour What is it? Where's the calendar at? I'm going on a huge tour. What is it? Where's the calendar at? Stavi dot biz s da VVY Let's start a call 82% that is huge. That's huge. That's insane. Not enough to not enough real guys Reviewed it. Reviewed it to get on the tomorrow. What do you mean? Not yet, but it will be. We'll get there. How many reviews do you need? I don't know. I think it's a hundred. Isn't that right? It's something. All right now go to Borderlands See what I got. What did that get? I think it's still like 15 or 20. Zero. 50.

10%. 10%. Oh, man. Okay. That's bad. It's not bad. I got a couple of those. It's fine.

It is what it is. Yeah, the Kevin Hart game one. Yeah, Me Time. That's probably less. What's at Me Time? What's Me Time at? Me Time's got to be at 5% maybe. Maybe 4.5.

7. 7. 7. half, seven. Seven. Oh shit. Tough. These movies are fascinating because it's like those guys are so famous and they're the fakest movies of all time. Yeah. With disrespect.

They almost feel like movies from 30 Rock were making a joke about a shitty movie that Kevin Hart was in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're both so famous and talented it's like how did this happen? But I guess they're getting the bag from Netflix. Well, cause it just doesn't matter.

It's just, they pump these things out. Yeah. Like that's the thing, they just pump them out. But you know, they're not pumping out, let's start a cult. They're not pumping out stuff like that. Go watch it. Yeah, but guys like us though, right?

We're in movies like this. They're fine because they're like, oh, I got nine movies I'm about to do. And they just got to. Him and I are gonna be like, okay, I guess this is it. Yeah. This is what we get. Yeah, this is what we got this year. You know what I mean? It sucks.

Yeah. Well go watch. Let's start a call. Go see Stavi baby on tour. You know, I love the coffee. Thank you. I love you. I love you. We'll have dinner. What a fun. No, we'll have dinner tonight. Let's go. All right. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you.