Bad Friends - The Bottoms of Turtle Island

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

New Merch Out Now! https://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/badfriends& https://hellotushy.com/badfriends & https://bluechew.com code: badfriends & https://www.bespokepost.comcode: badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Merch Update and Santino's Tour Dates 1:00 Puppy Report 7:32 White People Are Different 10:18 Who is Who? Bobby Changes Comedian's Genders 17:12 Santino Calls Kirk Fox 22:16 Movie Review: The Vigil 24:16 Bobby and Santino Write Their Own Horror Film 43:22 The Bottoms of Turtle Island 58:56 The Call to Fans to Make Art for The Bottoms of Turtle Island 1:12:03 What Happens in the Sequel? More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

yo we got a merch update the greatest rock and blues band of all time bad friends is here compiled by of course Rudy Jules with Carlos and Tilius Peter Blythe Mulave and of course your favorite George Trinidad so pick up those shirts and also 420 special for 420 man we are restocking these tie dies and the tie dye tees so go check that out right now at badfriendsmerch.com or in the merch bar down below if you're on the YouTube also this weekend Andrew Santino I am gonna be in Brea Southern California if you live in Southern California Erin you want to see me do an hour I'm gonna be at the Brea

improv the 23rd and 24th four shows that's all we got come see me go to Andrew Santino.com for tickets Andrew Santino.com Southern California let's go you too are bad friends puppy report oh da da da da da da da puppy report it's very chaotic it's chaotic we have three puppies what you posted was so cute that dog's face oh my god so cute they're so cute I was going there they're pooping all over your room piss poo everything love it why I just think it's a part of puppy life yeah it is and the puddles are this big they're not big I know but we have to understand that like her room right we have a little gate

yeah and then we have three adult dogs wanting to get at these three puppies and right them yeah so it's a whole event but isn't one isn't it just upstairs downstairs you separate them by floors don't you do that no not not you got it for the puppies you should just in case yeah but then she has to stay downstairs there's nothing downstairs it's grim down there is it scary down there yeah yeah you do not like sleeping down there no I like it yeah she loves creepy look at her are you stoned no I just woke up I know she's woke up from a nap dude what what do you have you don't do anything she has this week off too it's like you

your own vacation correct yeah but I'm taking care of the puppy yeah there is a lot that's annoying I understand how it's a lot when we had our dog it was literally I was shooting at the time too so I was getting no sleep already cuz I was shooting 40 14 hour days and the puppy would wake up 3 30 a.m. 4 30 a.m. 5 a.m. kind of like your alarm 5 6 7 and then I'd go to work at 7 30 is your do you want a second pop dog or no really bad actually would look check take you want to take a look at our puppies yeah actually I'm serious we just so we literally just talked about getting another dog take a look at our puppies

well what kind of they I think all I said they might be half pit bull I just my only worry is how big they get I can't have really big dogs don't we have one called what's stumpy oh I like that already they're all the same but don't we have stumpy is he got he looks like a hot dog he looks like hot dog and not only that like a wiener dog he looks like one yeah I've wiener dogs are awesome but it can't be because then they're all wiener dogs no or or or can a dog have like a poodle and a rot while come out well you these are all from the same litter yeah so they're all the same but wait a minute one looks like a wiener

dog and he's actually um stumpy no he's um I don't want to say this but say it stumpy nobody stubby stubby we just named it yesterday give me a fucking break relax but he's um mentally challenged challenged yeah that's what call it said I'm not saying so she said it he's just low he's slow can dogs have Down syndrome I don't know but he just like this is will you go in the room and the puppies are coming toward me yeah stumpy is just like the when he barks he's like hi yeah hi guys can dog because Down syndrome is categorized as having 47 chromosomes 23 oh right right that's not right it can't be diagnosed

dogs who by default have 78 chromosomes wow wow do dogs have can dogs be slow though is that a real thing like can you have I mean that obviously some dogs are smarter than no but I'm saying okay right but that's like some people are smarter than others but I'm saying can they have a mental disability there has to be that right yeah because my buddy's dog yeah I'm not making this up used to run into the walls all the time in the broad daylight yeah they got his vision check they thought maybe he has he's blind they were like no he's fine what's wrong he's like well he's just running into walls and they're like bad depth

perception it's like yeah maybe there's a dog the dogs have to have Tourette's too right it is also true the dogs developmental illness dogs can acquire forms of anxiety yes we know that compulsive disorders PDSE but no they don't get okay I don't know imagine a dog with Tourette's and then you come sometimes he barks he's like come here buddy yeah that's silly wait a minute so how there's three pups right three pups in the litter yeah okay three pups in the litter I'll take a look at them I we really well I mean we my only concern is how big I can't have big dogs I don't

know gonna be big I don't have a big I think you big I think they'll be just medium tell by their paws if they have big paws kind of they're gonna be big they have pretty big back when you have big paws yeah yeah cuz you will you look at them of course yeah yeah cuz you know your dogs your dogs are you don't have any dogs that are that no we have little ones you will meet their mediums yeah they're all like you know they're accidents man it's like yeah that's why like the one the one that I have the old one we have a we have a 90 year old man living in the house he's 96 right Remy yeah Remy's 96 right and Remy you

could tell by his fingers they're fucked up he goes like this each paw each fingernail is a different color black brown yellow right and there's it's just like and then there's a nail that just comes out of the paw itself like he's like deformed oh right and he walks around like this and just like grumpy where he's everywhere he's everywhere well he has no bladder control anymore that's it was up to me in the beginning it's like I could I could have just thrown it across the street but but then what happens is you follow he follows in love with you you follow up with him you don't have a choice I'm just we're

stuck well here's that you back in the day when we were kids you know a lot of people would have dogs that they couldn't take care of or they gotta get rid of and they just became outside dogs so and then but we have the middle one Julio that she fucked up yeah but that she raised up we read she rate listen don't shake your head she do not do not Julio as a puppy right yeah and now look at Julio he's not adjusted to the world right he's a we've had the best trainers in the world try to train him and then they always walk wearing him yeah it's no what's the lost cause it's a lost cause he's like yeah but there's nothing and

I'm like and I always point to her I go what did you do to Julio I didn't do anything yeah you did you and your sister did you did you hit it did you do something to no did you sharpen knives in front of it listen okay you so do you think this is the puppy was just born now I don't know I don't think so did you kiss do you kiss Julio on the mouth okay do you let him lick your lick all over your mouth no but eat the body does that's okay that that makes sense for him yeah and that's also on brand it's on brand yeah that's I'm curious as what you did to Julio to make him so damaged you do you mouth kiss your

dogs a hundred percent new okay no you don't know why because I just don't get I don't like that like white people have just let me ask you something but I'm not a white I'm not a normal white I see your family you're fucking white as fuck bro yeah I know welcome yeah yeah so what what I'm saying is I guess what I've noticed her nose is growing up like you know um like if we were gonna go out like if I went left the house with some friends on a Friday night sure and my dad was sitting at the kitchen table and if he wasn't drunk if he was drunk that's another thing how when was he not drunk there sometimes he wasn't like

when he got back from work right away so if I was leaving he'd go oh I'm going out he go okay bobble and I would kiss my dad on the lips bro I hate people that do that that's the grossest your dad you're a grown-up you're the teenager and you kiss your dad on the mouth not tongue-kiss you fucking I didn't say that bobo dad I didn't I mean are you out of your fucking mind and he's like yeah bobo yeah bobo bobo and he here but uh what does bobo mean kiss bobo yeah bobo bobo hey bobo hey yeah bobo hey and I go you peck or he'll kiss you on the cheek your cheek is fine yeah yeah yeah sometimes the lips mouth I

don't like okay my point though is cultural right yeah like wife for folks right you guys don't I know like some of my friends never even said I love you to their parents well those are just damaged people I mean I do you see you I love you of course to your dad I say I love your stepdad I say yeah I do not your stepdad yeah that yes I do you don't really love them though as much as you what come on man are you are you smoking no no no you're the you're totally opposite my stepdad what would raise me he was like my father he was one that you don't have the fool the full experience though no I mean if you're

being genuine right now not comedy no I that's the opposite my stepdad was like my father he raised me my whole life like he I met him when I was nine or no younger than that what am I mean you don't even know you don't even know he became crazy that he became like my dad no so I do I love him so much like I say I love you all the time to him I ask you I say I love you to you and a Rudy yeah but for you it's like well it doesn't consist because you say it a lot yeah it just doesn't mean anything right that's why I said because I've seen you say it to like dormant at the comedy store sure I kiss him on I go I love you

yeah you go good set tonight I go no no I say I love you a lot to people that I really do care about so I say it all the time I say it all the time because if I if I really like you and I love you like Andre said I love you to you you have yeah are you do you really do you love another do you really do you love me in the face yeah I love Andre's fancy is a wonderful part Pete Pete you you haven't gotten it yet but that's you got it you got some time and also okay I want to play a game with you that I just did okay what it's just real quick okay yeah so this is a game I just made up okay and it's like you know that you know that

app right that changes people to different genders or whatever sure so I have some comics that you know okay I change their gender okay and I want to see if you can guess who they are this is a female comic that's a man okay and go are you asking me hot or not what it was who are they oh who is this yeah that is a look at how widespread the eyes are yeah who's a little hard because she's not she's not a she's not a comedy-store comic right that doesn't matter she's she did Chelsea lately a lot Sarah Kalana no damn give me one more hint I'll just you're never gonna guess it I'll just give you the initials just give me

the initials AM Arden Mirren yeah yes I got it okay that now I see it in her eyes whoa that's Arden Mirren Arden Mirren next whoa she's a comedy-store comic female comedy-store comic regular get spots a lot all right I'm looking in the eye yeah and she and she also that's a pretty handsome dude yeah yeah she she just had a baby that's Natasha no oh no no um that's Sarah T. I see it in the eyes yeah so much fun wow next one okay comedy-store it's a man comic yeah he's a regular he gets spots maybe on two spots a week a Wednesday or Saturday right this dude is to me a legend he's in the same school as like he was friends with

like Mitch Hedberg and and and what's the guy from air Arizona um Doug stand up stand hope that crew short hair how about this he spent a lot of time in Europe like live there he lived in Amsterdam fuck yeah I gotta give me the initials now cuz I'm out TR Tom Tom Rhodes yes oh Tom Rhodes oh yeah and by the way see is he at like a Republican rally I just want that photo and no but wait wait oh you found the photo online online yeah I thought the app gives you okay this one I'll give you you know what dude I'll give you my salary for a month really this podcast if I can guess that but you have to give me one

hint there's no way well my salary okay okay fine alright so okay she I don't even believe it that I put this in there this is a hard one so this one hangs out with Jason Collins okay and Brent more and more and yeah he does their podcast as well okay right he's not a regular at the store he just kind of hangs out is a stand-up yeah he's open for me several times the kid that the kid I know what is you know his name I'll just tell you what it is what's his name will Burkhard Burkhard yeah will I knew it was will I get your salary so next one I do next or this one right here is a good one this is a good one

you're gonna love this one these look like I know this is a girl this guy's next door yeah this is a girl right yeah who um she's not a regular at the store but she's a coverbooth person it's Chelsea yes that's Chelsea yeah coverbooth there's only one girl that's a coverbooth that's not true other several that's not true there's a few next this oh this is so easy it's Tony Hinchcliffe and I can tell this actually look if he just put on a wig that would look like yeah next one that's Adam right yeah that's the over I'm getting good now by the way hold on go back to Theo Vaughn yeah wow fuckable wow dude cuz there's a trend on

tiktok if my friends were girls would I sleep with them that's like a big trend Theo for sure go back we'll go back to Adam no she's like a talk show host that she's on the view yeah yeah yeah go back one more who's the one before it was Tony no but but the problem I look at she looks like she looks like in the morning the next morning after you feel like a one-night stand she why don't you hang out and we go to break together no okay go forward go forward Theo for sure though wow and this one is super hard no it's not I didn't know off the bat I can usually see in the eyes right away hard not a comic not a comedian no but a

comedic celebrity oh a celebrity who I know who's a good friend of mine what an Emmy play you know he's a kind of a bigger guy obviously and he do you know who it is yeah that's Eric yep oh my god one and by the way I would not would not know it's a pass look at this one that's a real comic we know this one this one's easy this one's easy you do yeah I know right away it's Nikki Glazer I can tell I can tell by the nose see by the nose yeah this one this one's hard no it's not the easiest one and Eleanor Kerrigan yeah I'm doing it I'm doing it okay this one right here zoom in this one is the million dollar one

regular yeah you know him I'm friends am I friends friends with oh yeah really yeah regular friends with them right yeah story person that's all I can give you I don't know why but when they changed this person it was like weird it was like that does not look like him he's tall would be like Jess Nick is tall go learn as you would know that if those are going to learn or just like maybe I mean because you said it doesn't look anything like the guy just look at the nose who's tall like that who's tall like that yeah with a pointy nose older who's tall like that the Kirk Fox yeah that's Kirk Fox yeah wow like crazy he's

hot I'd fuck Kirk Fox that's hot yeah yeah is that hot yeah yeah yeah Rudy can I call Kirk Fox's I haven't talked to him a long time why cuz I really like him I like him too well tell him how he is as a girl his voice is just so great baby boy Kirk hey you're on me and Bobby's podcast yeah just letting you know where Bobby did this game where he puts your picture into an app on the phone and it turns you into a girl and I'm telling you I'm gonna send you this photo you're so hot as a girl like we would fuck you we would fuck you I mean I think it's I think they're doing this all the time now right you this is easy to get done

20 30k and you can look like that so I don't think so because I don't like the way I look at some man I don't like the choices I make I just don't like the feeling but if I'm a hot woman yeah right now imagine that voice with that face no Bobby's being mean again Kirk we love you Bobby Bobby Bobby and I we're gonna be spending some time together soon you guys are just shooting together we're shooting so what are we doing I think we might be in Oklahoma together Bobby oh what are you doing that show yeah oh I'll see you there buddy that same episode same episode awesome all right well then well then when you

see of course that's why I did it I was so busy I was like I found out who was involved so I go I just got I have to find time that's amazing so how many episodes they pick up that's awesome congratulations brother that's great that's great you guys no yeah no problem all right you're hot as a woman have fun in Oklahoma I love you I miss you buddy look at this one you know he's the best I love this one that's Kyle Dunn again no no that's a guy right there oh oh my god I love better help I use it in my own private life people in my family have used it therapy has just been very helpful for me during the pandemic is

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get ten percent off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends ten percent off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends hello drive-side oh gee Andrew g g g g g g g is the one thing my life that I wish I had all my life I wish I had it before this my asshole can I say hall you yeah of course is so clean because of hello you're brownout looks amazing and I also I'm saving on toilet paper costs right and it's so easy to to put in... To install.

To install, yeah. I did it on my own. I did it on my own. And you know, me and Bob aren't good at stuff like that. And we have one here at the studio that Andre sometimes, Fancy B will just sit on it. Yeah, and just sprays out.

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let me see if I got the right word. I love Italian crime stuff. Tutto bene. Then do you like zero, zero, zero? Zero, zero, zero, si, si. I saw a movie like The Vigil. Oh yeah. You saw it?

Yeah. What is it about? The guy who prays to the candles, that it's the horror movie where he's got the candles, the candles, the horror movie. There are candles, right? It is a horror movie. Yes.

But what else? It's the guy who prays to the candles, the devil that lives in the candles. You almost had it. I was close. You almost fucking had it. But you've never seen it? No.

OK. But was I close? Pretty close. I guess there's a ritual in old. In old Napoli? No, I don't know. In the old Napoli. That's a more.

No, there's a ritual where. When the moon hits a guy. A Jewish ritual. Right. A Jewish ritual? Right, but it's like, what do you got? Isidic? Isidic?

Hasidic. Hasidic? Yeah. Old Hasidic ritual, where when somebody dies, their body is in a house. And then you have somebody that looks after the body for like 12 hours or whatever to protect it from spirits or whatever.

Right. So this dude needs money, right? He needs 500 bucks. And he's just like, I got a, and some guy offers him this job. So he's in this creepy house with this like old Jewish dead man there. And his wife upstairs is as scary as fuck, bro. Does the Jewish dead man at some point come back to life?

Something like that. But the thing is, is that it's like, the whole time you're just like, leave. Just get out. Yeah. In the beginning, there was so many chances where he could just leave. At one point, you realize that he can't leave,

because now the curse is on him. Now he's sucked in. He sucked in. But yeah, pretty good. I want to suggest that to people. The dead body pops up and goes, oh, this cast gets so uncomfortable. He's like, let's create a horror movie right now. OK.

What are you afraid of? What am I the most afraid of? Yeah, that's, I think we should play on our fears, right? Yeah. First of all, what you and I are both, if we were going to write a horror movie, figure out what our fears are, right? And then we'll just try to wrap a movie around it.

OK, middle of nowhere stuff creeps me the fuck out. Like, I'm always down middle of nowhere films. I'm always like, ooh, it's so sketchy. OK, middle of nowhere. So like in the woods. But in the mountains and the woods. In the mountains and the woods. Even more dangerous, right?

Where you can lose power, it can be cold. Yeah. Right? So mine has to do with the ocean. OK, so on a mountain over the ocean. We got there. We're just being in the middle of the ocean. Oh, OK, we're going to put it on a boat then.

No, we'll do both. No, no, but listen. Middle of nowhere is the middle of the ocean to me. OK. One and the same. Right. So how about one where it's on an island, but is that? Islands are wonderful.

What a great place to be haunted. OK, a haunted island. A haunted island. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Here's another thing that I'm afraid of being buried alive. Everyone, everyone.

That's everyone's fear. That's everyone's fear. What is it? Kids. I've got it. You and I wake up. You and I. OK. You starts on you.

Right. Sand is in your mouth. Climb out. You were buried alive. Right? All right. So what you're saying is that I'm a guy, right? You.

Yeah, that's right. How about this? Let me just create my character. I'm a guy, right? Yeah. And I work at like a liquor store in New York. Correct. OK.

In Harlem. So yeah, I'm logging out. I'm closing the store. It's not a 24-hour place, right? Right. So I'm locking everything up, right? And it just shows me like just walking with my backpack to my little squalor house.

I have a really, I live in the basement somewhere. In Chinatown. What? You live in Chinatown. Why does it? OK, anyway, I'm Chinese. It just feels right. All right, I'm Chinese.

For this movie, you're Chinese. Yes. I'll be Chinese for this. I'll be black in the movie. We'll be right. We're right. We'll be right. We'll be right.

We'll be right. You live in the basement of a Chinese store? Chinese store, right. So I'm, you know, and it just shows me like a little montage of me like cooking some ramen, right? Putting some ramen in it, right? Rat runs by. Rat runs by, right.

I'm buying a really rickety table, right? Sitting there. I'm slurping on the ramen. I'm watching some something on TV, the news or something, right? Ravity or TV, right? That does a cut scene where I'm just kind of reading a book on a mat.

That's where I sleep. On the floor? Yeah. I'm all sad. This guy is so, so sad. I know, so sad, right? And then I plug in my iPhone or whatever. I have a phone, right?

Samsung. Samsung. Oh, OK. Got to be Samsung? All right, Samsung. I plug in my Samsung. Chinatown, right, right, right, right, right, right. Does it matter what kind of TV I'm looking at or?

Toshiba. Toshiba? Toshiba. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A tube TV, no less, like an old tube, not a glass screen. So I assume just by your thinking, I'm wearing a kimono. 100%. What else did you be wearing at your house?

So just, all right. Out in public, you have street clothes. All right, kimono, I have a sword. A sword? And your hair is in a bun, must be. And what's in it? What's holding your hair up? Chopsticks.

Chopsticks, that's correct. Oh, you racist fuck. All right, come on, come on. Let's get back to where we want to be. All right, so I'm, for some reason, for some reason, for some reason, I'm wearing regular clothes. You're wearing regular clothes at the liquor store, right? But when I get home, there's got to be a montage,

where I put the kimono on, and I put the chopsticks in my hair. People will love it. People will love it. I have a Samsung, Toshiba, whatever. It's a Samsung phone, a Toshiba TV, right? Oh, shit, right? OK, so you're slurping, you do this, then you lay on your mat. I lay on my bamboo mat.

Your bamboo mat. Bamboo mat, right? Yeah. Right, and then I wake up on an island. You wake up, you wake up crawling out of sand. Crawling out of sand. Yes, naked, butt naked. Butt naked, right?

How about how I still have the chopsticks in my hair? Oh, yeah, I got it. Yeah, because we need to have you have materials to use. For some reason, I still have the bun. Perfect. With the chopsticks in my right. Come out, right? Yes.

Complete naked, right? And it's the brutal day of this. It's the sun. It's bright, bright. And all of a sudden, you, your character, digs out, right? And you're wearing like a green suit. Like a leprechaun, like a leprechaun, like a leprechaun. And where my penis is, is a little pot of gold.

A little tiny pot of gold with going, going, spilling over. So you're wearing a leprechaun, I guess. That's true. I work in finance. I wear suits, but I went to bed. I wake up. When you go to bed, you drink Irish whiskey. Correct.

Right? Right. You wear the green leprechaun. I wear it, and I do a jig. Right. And I jig myself to sleep. All right, how about this? Look, OK.

Oh, shit. All of the bullshit aside, we both wake up on the island. No, are we keeping that stuff in or no? That's just a joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. But it could be fun. OK, be fun.

We're both butt naked. We wake up on the island. We wake up on the island. And you and I are ready to fight, because we don't know how this happened. Did you do this to me? No, of course, that's not going to. We're both coming out of holes.

I'm not going to go, did you put me in this hole, bury me, and then put a hole yourself in a hole and bury yourself? Yes, yes, yes. No, that's the logic. That's not the logic. When we both come out, we're just going to be like, we were both buried. What happened?

We're trying to explain what happened. So what's going on? That could be a twist at the end, where it turns out that you did do it all. We'll leave it for later. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Correct. So we jump out of the hole.

Yeah, we jump out of the hole. We're freaked out. Of course we are. We had no idea what's going on. Where are we? Oh, you always say something like, who are you? Who are you? You're right.

That's the dialogue. Who are you? Who are you? You're right. And we kind of calm down. We try to calm down and go, all right, so my name is Yoshi, am I Yoshi? Yoshi.

Yoshi, right. And I'm? Yeah. Lucky. Lucky. I'm not Yoshi. I'm lucky. Yeah, yeah.

Do we have to have accents? For this, we should. I'm Yoshi. How funny would be if I had the Asian accent? You had the Irish accent? No, don't make me, don't make me, don't make me. I'm lucky. I'm Yoshi.

I'm lucky, Yoshi. What are we doing here? I wouldn't even get to the first one in the scene. I, I, I. I. So Yoshi and Lucky. Right. So now they bonded together.

Well, now what, let's be real. Let's be real about it. OK, we're real. I'll joke aside, right? We're back. We're back. We're back. So, you know, is there a third?

Well, here's the thing. Yeah, yeah. So, so a show, washing up ashore is a woman badly hurt, bleeding, right? And it washed up ashore. It's rude. OK. No, let's cut that.

Cut. There's a, cut that out. OK, so in this island, it's not a big island. Very small. It's maybe what, a half a mile around? Not even. Quarter mile around. Quarter mile around, right?

Very small. But there is, in the middle of the island is dense, dense. There's trees and a lot of thick. Very thick. But there is a path. Right. Right. You and I, you, you go, it's so hot out here.

We have to get, I'm going to. We have to get covered. I'm going to get sunburned. Yeah, you're almost in flames. I'm done. Right. And I go, all right. So let's, I found a trail.

We go in the trail in the middle of this island. Yeah. You see like a little tiny, like a hill, like a stony kind of a hill. Yes, I see it. But in the middle of it, right, is a statue of her. But it's, what, and it's been there for, for a long time. 10,000 years.

10,000 years. And it's old. It's, it's weather. It's not even just old. It's like, it's her, a statue like this, right? Her eyes are black. Black. Right?

And there's red blood tears. Right there. Right. Blood tears, right? And obviously she has knives. Two knives like this. Two knives like this. And she's staring, but by the way.

Yeah, she's like, she's like this, right? Right. Blood tears, like this, and just, just like that. And staring off straight through the distance. There's like a little message underneath. What does it say? I can't read it. I don't know, what does it say?

It says, those that sleep will die first. Right. Something like that. Those that sleep will die first. Yeah. Well, well, I'm, well, OK. I can't go to bed. We can't.

That the whole, the whole goal of this horror movie is you and I don't can't sleep. We can't sleep. We can't keep each other up. Keep each other awake. Yeah, yeah. And you know what happens when you don't get sleep? What?

You have delusion. Delusion. You hallucinate, right? You also get horny. You're super horny. You know, because you start getting delusional, right? Yes. You start getting real horny.

There is a sex scene. Yeah. It has to be a sex scene. Right, so I wake up with your dick in my mouth and I'm just trying to keep you awake. So I don't want you to die. All right, so here we go. Let's go back.

By the way, by the way, what a good device. We can't go to bed. We realize. And so first of all, we read it. Those that sleep will die first. I go, yeah, this is bullshit. You know, stupid, right? Yeah.

Can't be true. But the first night, we both are like, fuck, what if it's true? Yeah. So we decide. Maybe that the sleep could be more of a thing is like, you know, at nightfall, right? Don't be on the ground.

Don't be on the ground. Yeah. But we would just build a canopy and then that would be good. Right. So you and I are always off. So check it out. You and I build a canopy. Yes.

Right? Amongst the trees. Yeah. Like a platform, right? And then we were laying down, trying to go to sleep. But then we hear things below us. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. No, just like.

Oh, oh. Right? A creature and different things. Hey. That's like an old guy. Yeah, whatever. He's an old man down there. Yeah, yeah.

Right? And we're just, I bet we're naked. We're naked, right? Of course. You don't have the green suit. That was gone. Yeah, no, we, no. We woke up naked.

We woke up butt naked. In the holes, right? Butt naked. So you and I are completely naked, I imagine, right? On these platforms we build, right? Maybe we're, I say, it was not high enough. Oh, what do I have to build it higher than we're in? Don't talk loud because I hear you.

Oh, right, something like that. That's something like that. You can't hear you. Something like that, right? I like that. But then we hear her too. What's her noise? You make a noise.

Uh. Oh my god. Fuck. And you know what? We can't tell where it's coming from. Fuck. I'm like, it's coming from over there, and you're like, it's coming from over there.

Fuck, dude. It's surround sound. Do it again. Oh, shit. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? Do we suck each other's dick there? Yes.

Yes. Hot wheels. First night? First night. The film critics are like, it was a brilliant idea if they kept blowing each other the whole movie. I forget the suck dick. So we wake up the next day.

Pete's writing down, they start blowing each other to make it go away. This is the only way to make the sound stop. Oh, god. OK, so here's the deal. I do like the device that we're not supposed to sleep, right? Yeah, OK. But so you don't like the platform thing?

No, I do. But we can make it say, those that sleep first die first, those that touch ground, make it like a bunch of rules. Oh, it's a don't sleep, OK, and then touch ground. They who sleep first dies first. They who touch ground at nightfall, those on ground will die. And the last one has to be, one rule has to be, not only, so you can't sleep, you have to be above ground.

At nightfall. You can't make noise. During the day, all day? No, at night. So this is all night time stuff, correct? OK, good. So it's like, imagine now. Not a peep should be spoken.

You want to completely make it up above ground. Cannot say a word. Like this. And we hear all these crazy noises. And we just have to look at each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then at some part, maybe your leg is hurt. Yeah.

Right? Right. And I cover your mouth. You know how they do that? So you don't make a. No, don't, don't. Yeah, like something fell from a tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My leg will cook a spiky coconut. Spiky coconut. Yeah, spiky coconut fell from the tree, right? Hit your leg, right? It's blood squirt like an artery, right? I take like a strip of leaves or something. I try to make a tourniquet. Right.

But I cover your mouth. And the whole time I'm like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I bite your fingers because it hurts so much. And then you go to yell. And then I cover your mouth. You cover my mouth, right? Right.

So I'm covering your mouth. And then I'm covering my mouth, right? I'm covering your mouth. I'm spraying blood because you bit me. Right. Right, your leg with the spiky coconut. Right. And we're just, right?

And that's all night long. All night long. But then once the dawn help, we're excited. And as soon as we see the sunlight, we go, ah! Ah! Oh, fuck! I can't do this. I'm tired.

I can't do this. I'm tired. Yeah, this is good. This is really good. Really good. So anyway, just as a side note, what would be funny is if you were pinching your butt because you had to let out a fart? You know?

It's not a comedy, though. Sorry, you're right. Go on. It's a two-brot comedy thing. But very funny. We'll put that in it. Maybe that's a, yeah. Maybe third night we do that.

We'll get it as scripted. We'll do one for us. We'll do a couple alts. Yeah, because we do try, we have to eat. OK, so here's the next day. So right, we made it to night one. Our first conversation after night and one should be this.

We got to get water. We have to get food and water. That's the most important. Yeah, because we're going to get the shit out of here. I think getting the fuck out of here is number one. Well, we have to see where we are. Food and water, right? Food and water, yeah.

And if that's island. You build a help sign out of rocks, right? And you say, you have to write help in the sand in case of a plane flies over. OK. That's what everybody does. OK, all right. Yes.

I just, why do I have to do the hardship? It just feels like I have to pick up rock and then make a help and then have to make a big. I'll do it. You know, that's going to take all day. I haven't eaten or drank in one. What the fuck? Why do I get that job?

This is the conversation on the island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah. All right, what do I do? You have to find us food. OK. Now do you want to write help in rocks?

You find us food. I'll find us food. Yeah, OK. So because I'd rather go like, I think I'm better at maybe going in the ocean with a spear. Sure. And I'd find fish. You fashioned a spear.

But you get out there and guess what? What? No fish. Just sharks. Sharks. All. We are on an island surrounded by. No, no.

What are the most dangerous ones? Not great ones. The Megalodon sharks. Yeah. That's where they come from. That island. By the way, the island's called Megalodon. Megalodon Island.

And on the other side of the island is where they birth. So that's where all their eggs are, right? That's where I go. That's where you go to get food. To get eggs. You think we can eat a Megalodon? Eat a Megalodon egg. Right.

That's our plan. That's our plan. So I come back, right? You haven't even made age yet. No. It's like eight hours in and you just one line of the age. I'm in. I'm in.

I'm in too. And I'm like, we have that argument like, that's all you got is half an age? It's not that many stones. Is that the many stones on the island? Right. And then you're going to go, where's the food? Where's the food?

I'm sorry. But it's not my fault that we're on Megalodon Island. And there's fucking 52,000 Megalodons in the ocean. They'll fucking eat me. You take me over there. Did I say? Yeah. But check it out, man.

I was watching them go around the island, right? I know where their eggs are, brother. Well, perfect. Omelets. Megalodon omelets. Have you ever had one? No, but I can't wait to. Yeah.

Let me ask you something. But Megalodon would have like, they wouldn't have eggs. No, no. It's like, it's kind of like caviar, but big. We have to make a creature that, we have to have a creature that makes eggs. Because sharks don't have eggs. They just come out as little sharks.

So whatever we make in the ocean, it has to make eggs. There is no fucking creature in the ocean that makes it. We make it up. Yeah, but then we have to explain the science behind it. The whole thing isn't real. No, we don't. How do we get on the island? Who cares?

We're making it up. Let me ask you something. Do turtles make eggs? Yes. That's what we have. Turtles. Gigantic killer turtles. Killer turtles.

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What is... Okay. I'm in the... You're making the age, right? I'm in the water, right? Yeah. Imagine the scene. I'm in the water and you see a turtle come toward me, right?

And you think it's huge. My face is like this. Turtle. Yeah, because I love turtles, right? Yeah. Who doesn't love a turtle? I love them. And you know how you're right?

And then you see the turtle, it opens his mouth and it has a... Yeah. It's just a rose of teeth. It's... Right? And I'm swimming back under there, right? I get on the peck on the beach, right?

And I realize there's like 50,000 of them in the water. Swarming around now. Right? And I'm running towards you. Hey! What? What happened? That's how I would do it, right?

What happened? Oh, you can't believe it. I can't believe what I did. What? What's out there? To the fuck? I was mad. I was trying to find fish for us. Yeah?

There's a fucking turtle there. Turtles? You're scared of turtles? Your legs are not normal too. Go, you go out there. I will! All right. I go out there.

You go out there, right? And I get bitten by a turtle. You get bit by one. Yes. Right. So now they've tasted our blood. Our blood. So now they're ready.

And also now you fucking believe me. Now I do believe you, of course. But then I go, I was watching some national geographic. Yes. In my little squalor place in Chinatown when I wear my kimono. Your kimono Chinatown apartment.

In my television. On Toshiba? On Toshiba. I was watching television, right? I was watching television graphic. Yeah. Turtles, right? Obviously it was, you know, in Chinese.

You know what I mean? Correct. So I subtitled, right? Right. Yeah. And so they lay eggs on the beach, bro. What? We have to find where they lay eggs?

Yeah. So I don't know if you can make omelets out of their eggs. We're going to try. But we're going to give it a go. So we hunt. So we look around, we dig, dig, and we find some. We find their eggs. We find a couple.

But. There's no frying pan. There's no frying pan. How the fuck are we going to make this shit? Right. Fire either. Tonight, today we make fire. We grab the eggs, OK?

No, I do what Rocky did. What? You just eat it raw? Yeah. Yeah. No, you put a hole on the top. There's a scene like that. There's a scene where I crack it, right?

And I drink it. But then what comes out is like blood. Like black ooze blood. It's black. This is not no normal egg. No, when you open up, it's like asphalt. When asphalt's liquid eyes, you know, and it's like super thick. No, it's like belute.

It's like belute. It's belute. It's belute. It's belute. It's turtle belute. Turtle belute. Right? I open it up and there's an eye.

And it goes, and he. Yeah. Right? Oh, we can't eat these. It's alive. Yeah, we can't eat these. Right? So then, now the sun's right.

Sun's going down. We still have no food. No food, nothing. This is the first day, right? And we get in a little fight. Like, you're fucking going to do half of each, right? Half of the age, right? And then we got to get back on the thing, right?

We climb back up, and then another night of. But what happens that night? Tropical, a thunderstorm. What? We're a tsunami. A tsunami is coming. A tsunami is coming. We can feel the winds pick up.

So we can't talk, though. We can't even explain what's going on. So we're just kind of like, we communicate with our eyes. Right? So we're like laying there. That's become the room. And your eye, you're looking at me with that. What are you seeing with your eyes?

Which is what? I'm horny. It sucked my teeth. That's what every night seems like. What if this, what if I read your eyes? What if I read that your eyes were saying, I'm horny, but I'm reading it wrong? And it just starts like, you're doing it.

I said, I'm hungry. I thought you said you were horny, but I can't say anything when you're doing it This movie all right this movie is diverted But but here's the deal Here's the deal. Yeah, if someone in our fan group has a good ending to this because we've laid out a lot of tracks here Yeah, this is good tracks. Don't you think pretty good tracks? Yeah, someone has to help us finish this movie because I think right now We're close because um what we do we know let's do one more day, okay? We go one more day three days three days our next day. We're like, okay. We have water. Okay. We're starving food, right?

Thursday here's a deal. We're delusional. Let's be real. Yeah, no sleep There's got to be something about the statue So we go back to the statue we have to go back to the statue and there's got to be a fucking something there That's gonna give us a clue how to get the fuck out of here, right, right? And the other side of the statue is Braille and I said my mom is my mom was blind. I can read Braille right, right, so I read the Braille and it says a Limerick along the lines of we need to Get beneath the island

To save our own lives So we start digging right Wow We need to get beneath the island to save our life. Yeah, or or maybe not that is You mean maybe not that can I finish the joke? Okay, go and we dig all the way to China Go ahead. Yeah, what does it say and then that's why I have the chop dig all the way With the chopsticks That's why I have it. That's it. No seriously. Yeah. Yeah, what does it say on the back of there?

What does the statue have to do? We have to do something with the statue. It's something the statue Is maybe the statues are we doing like a sword in the stones? No, like maybe I realized you can turn it Oh, you lean against it frustrated. Oh, like yeah, like right and it kind of turns very Indiana Jones of us Yeah, that's not do that. Let's just go it's circular on a like on a little fucking platform This you get mad at it. You get mad and you kick it. You pick up a coconut And you throw a spiky coconut and boom and then her arm And you're like what the fuck right and then it it Do maybe there's a like a little Kate like a little cliff on the left, right and it opens up a door. Oh

Right, yeah, and then there's like stairs that lead down. Yes, we go in we have to we have to we go We go in and it's a big spiral looping spiral. It's you know what it is, huh? We have to it takes 12 hours or it's it's It's like 12 miles to the center of the earth not to the center. We're not going to China No, we're not gonna try another movie. Okay, fine. That's all right. Oh, we go to China We walk all the way down. Yeah, we finally get to the bottom. Yeah, and what's there? Jules Jules is there. Yeah, what are you doing there Jules? What do you look like there? What's what does a scene look like to you? That's what you know shit. Yeah, but

Sleeping but with a lot of dead bodies. Oh, wow, how many Thousand does a thousand imagine a lot of extra thousand. Yeah, that's a lot Can we just do a hundred? Can we do a hundred because it's a little easier for the low budget Or we could you know we could use 10 and CGI the rest right or the rest and just double figure out what's your yeah Yeah, okay, so hundred say a hundred for now. Yeah, so you're sleeping just rounded by a hundred dead bodies, right? Do we wake you up? Yeah, yeah, okay, and what do you say to us? No, no, no, no, what she's sleeping on a stat like a slab of a concrete slab No, no, no, she's sleeping on bodies. Okay, she's sleeping on the body. How do we not know?

How do we know who's who then what do you mean? Oh, it goes to the top and she's just on top. Yes, like she's like A cherry on Sunday in the hill. All right, so so she's on top of this gigantic Sunday body, but she looks remarkably comfortable Yeah, or maybe she's not even slaying. She's sitting Indian in saw style and she's right and she's like the statue She's got the knives. Oh my god. She's like the statue like the statue She has blood in her eyes, right, right? And she's just sitting there like this, right slowly her eyes open No, what we do is no no we go Cuz that's not I know I know you know we go we go We have to figure out what I would say maybe as we whisper first of all, I gotta figure out what all these people did wrong. What did they do wrong and how do we not do that?

Yeah, you know what I mean, right? There's something that they did. We can't ask them because they're all fucking dead. I understand that. We have to figure out what there's clues. Okay, okay, right? All right, so we look and we go Maybe you know what we do, you know what we see. Yeah, we look at At the walls around in this thing, right? Right stare at kids, but there's there's a wall, right? Of course and we see Fingernails people trying to climb up this thing. Uh-huh, right, right? They could you they would have used the stairs stairs. Yeah, it would use the stairs when we get when we get to the bottom Yeah, the stairs go away disappear. They go away. There we go. Now we the stairs are gone. God there We go. Thank you so for helping me. We got it. You got it. That device. Okay, so there's are gone. Yeah, there's a gun now

Move themselves, right? So we can't even fucking because we would run out anyway like as soon as we saw her up that we would Run up the stairs Yeah, yeah, it's gone. So the guard got now we see fingernails people trying to be dudes Imagine people dudes have been doing this for thousands of years. By the way, it's all dudes It's all guys and no no women all them are fat Asian guys. Yes and half of them are red guys, right? Yeah So there's got to be something there too. That's the pattern, right? And then what happens where what is do you have something in your brain? What do you do? What do you want from us? I want her to wake up

I want her eyes to slowly open her eyes open eyes up and she must say something right? Yeah, you've made it this far You made it this far you say that say that You've made it this far. Yeah In order for you to survive In order for you to survive Ah Right fuck and then you're gonna say you must solve this riddle You must solve this riddle. Yes

If I If I had Had 10 if I had 10 10 what bunnies if I had 10 bunnies If you had 10 bunnies I think said Ted Bonnie. Yeah, just 10 bunnies if I had 10 bunnies finish it and Andrew took 9 she knows my name Yeah, yeah, I

Would go one you're dead right away. Oh, that's okay. So if I you're 10 bunnies and you took nine Give me the finish it How many this Bobby one? No, no because I took nine she kept one you have zero I'd be dead. You'd be dead. So I know how about this you say I had five nine bunnies And you took nine, right? I took one you say I took one, right? Can I wrap this up a better way? Go ahead. She says only one gets to leave. You must fight each other to the death But we've bonded we've sucked each other's dicks

Three nights in a row back to back to without even saying anything. We just kind of looked at each other So we don't know if we really want to kill each other can we can we do this right right and then you know what out? You know what you don't know what to we start No, but when we find out when we actually have because these two swords drop, right for the two sorts He's holding. Yeah, the two sort she goes like this. Yeah, and they land right right right and Once I realize, you know, I mean I have to fight you to the death, right? I'll probably do one like fun glance at your penis and I go like this I go and then hey and then we cut into my penis we cut in my penis and cut up and then you go wink

Yeah, then we know yeah, check this out. We grab the swords. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry Here's a twist. Yeah, the twist is this. Yeah, we both look like we're gonna attack each other, right? But we somehow know to attack her. Oh Oh You mean no, no, no, we start what you know, we start fighting yet We start fighting. Okay, we start fighting as we're fighting in the middle of it Yeah, I'm giving you the eyes with the eye communication that we have yeah But I don't know if your eyes are saying suck my dick or attack fucking her. I know you learn we learn

So we're fighting we're fighting and as we're fighting. I'm giving you the eyes towards all right, right, right? I go I go and I Shoot that and I go like this and as we're fighting with the swords check it out. Yeah, I go like this I go I go one two We let go of our sword right and it crosses through her. Oh And she goes you what do you say? you bitches

She calls the bitches she Disintegrates into sand in all thousand of the bodies bodies they come alive come alive a bunch of luckes and Yoshis Yeah, they're all much you guys go. What happened. How did I get here? What happened? How did I get her? What what's going on? What's so it's happening to me? You know me and then But we're super down look it out. Yeah, that's the horror part of it We're trapped. Yeah, the stairs are gone. Right, you know, she's gone. Yeah, but there's no way up We have to get on each other's shoulders. No, that's you know, that's not what you know

What would happen if there's how many if there's fucking? 500 redheaded Andrews and 500 right we are all gonna suck The finale is an orgy right and disco ball comes down right. It's great. I got two red digs Right. I have another Yoshi stuck in my dick, right? Yeah, yeah, it becomes a gay nightclub. It's a gay nightclub, right, right That's good. I like it. It's a good movie Right, right it dear paramount plus. Yeah fund us What's the movie called

second Yeah, I don't know what was it called not because turtle well turtle Islanders I like turtles I like to know what I know what's it called? It's cool. What could be a good play on like a gay nightclub bar scene name with turtles involved on an island No, but that's I don't want to give anything away. We won't it'll just be like a nod. All right, you know Like okay, you know in in gates of the turtle no, that's that sounds pretty on the nose turtle suck You don't the gay night a gay community a sucker pot. They gave me there's a bottom You know like a top. Oh, yeah, so it's called the the bottom turtle bottom of turtle Bay

The bottom of turtle Island the bottom of turtle Island the bottoms of turtle Island the bottoms of turtle Island That's what it's called the bottoms of turtle Island. See that's great It's got so many double entendre because I mean the bottom of the gay community It also means the bottom of the bottom when we go down, right? I want people listening to this right now. You gotta make movie posters have to make a bottom Turtle Island and maybe you know, maybe animate some of it. I would love that. I would love it Look good movie. Look what Pete actually wrote this There's a mass dick sucking. Oh my he wrote like six pages of this. That's amazing

That's I felt like we talked more than that he took good notes. Okay, we rambled pretty heavily. Yeah. Yeah, we Recorded we have a recorded. Yeah, Pete go back into our transcript and and just you know, I mean I dress you want your directing debut with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee. You got a kiddo I think this is the best movie I've heard the best pitch. This is a really good. Yeah, imagine if we meet I mean, I know it's dumb and it's not gonna. Why imagine if we made this, but why couldn't we make something so dumb? This is I mean, this is so dumb I would love to try how much fun would we have making this movie? Yeah? I mean, I would do the whole thing with the chopsticks in my head. I don't know

You know how many bad reviews we get but they'd be help though, but they would They would What ever review it would get zero percent around tomatoes, right? And then we'd be a cult classic and then they'd be playing us at movie Right all over the country people want no, but here's the thing people know that we made it up on a podcast on the spot Yeah, so it's great the absurdity of us actually making it. Yeah, could be the thing I would love to make this movie. Wow. We could just go do it at Catalina Island Yeah, we shoot it island the bottoms of Turtle Island the bottoms of Turtle the bottom

Island I really love that the bottoms of Turtle Island. Yeah, I like that you guys are in with Andres you like that Absolutely, would you direct it Andres? Yeah, the one thing I'm worried about is her fees and all that stuff like you know She's gonna be she's gonna want a big the biggest trailer. She's gonna complain. Oh my god She's gonna be like the worst. I want to double. I'm gonna double trailer white one that will Smith has with the bed I want two of those two of those. I want one for day one for night shoots Yeah, and I'm like, you know, you know that when you make the statue, you're not gonna do what did they call it? I cast my body. No, no, no, I'm gonna get a double for that because I'm gonna get a double for me I'm not doing that. Yeah, and then your demands are so heavy, dude

I don't even know if we can we'll have to just We'll have to like get someone that you know, I don't know could do. No, I can sleep on the island. Oh I don't need a trailer. You don't you yes, she's from an island. Oh, right. That's your use. It's going the tree Did anything like this happen in the Philippines a bit? Yeah, I Think some of this stuff might have happened, right? Yeah, lucky gives Yoshi. I gotta tell you this I hope I hope this movie does kind of come together in some degree. I never I haven't left off so hard and so long I mean that was so what a fun. I do you know what's so fun about doing that? I see it in my head I see the island. I see the movie. I see the island. I see you know the grim

I don't know why we're picked. Oh see, okay I would say I would I would say we have to have a twist that shows why we were chosen not Because it's red heads and and eight. No, by the way, those guys down there. Yeah, it's just us It's like other I got it right. I got it right here. Okay, we put a shining We've some you put a shining moment in it where it's a little confusing and people don't know why so basically what happens is right? We're in there. We kill the goddess or whatever and we're all goddess or the we're all downstairs We're all like whatever she is right the demon right demon and we're all sucking each other's dick down in the bottom of this You know I mean, yeah, and then it cuts to right my liquor store

the one I work at and Right or my it cuts to my house my little squalor and the camera just kind of slowly moves to the my house Right, right, and it zooms in where the to Shiva television is right next to it is a frame of a photo And of you me and her right? Just you know, I mean playing in the yeah, we're just playing in the Cabo or some Cabo Park, right? Yeah, and it zooms it Right, yeah, it's us that we knew each other and the audience thinks what the fuck right? What is that and I want people to you know talk about it let them make it up right on the internet

You mean maybe they'll do a documentary about that photo right explaining right? Yeah, what is mister mysterious like you like that I give one more go ahead. Yeah, it's something like that. Can I give one more? Yeah The liquor store that you work in you're a stock boy. Yeah, okay, so after the orgy party whatever right? We cut back to New York We go back. Yeah to the stock to the stock room. Yeah, right stock room this is where I work where you work Yeah, and there's a little young Korean boy who's being taught by the owner to stock You know another like another one in the cycle, right? We got to go back to my job and and the and the guy goes to her you could see the guy goes You want this job? He's like, yeah

Your new name is Yoshi But that's not my name at all. My name is mark No, I know but to work here your name is Yoshi Yoshi, right, right? He's like, okay. Okay, and it's the way it's the way it's got to tie together is Put this chopstick in your hair. He's like, God, this is really racist. Yeah. Yeah, it's like trust me trust me Yeah, trust me light sugar fish That's very funny, I know Go back to no zawa. Oh, yeah, okay, so wait time out

It has to all tie in wait this it has to all tie in it has to all tie in so it's got to be either I Work or like we have to open with my job being shitty too. We didn't do that Well, we'll do that cut back in the beginning of the movie, right? We're writing right now both work and live in dingy sad fucked up disgusting you work at like a you know, uh a Pub and but I'm in the basement. I'm the stock boy. Yeah, I'm changing the kegs Yeah, all that stuff you have a shitty shitty pub job and the pub is right next door, right to the liquor store to lick store You work at a liquor store, or don't you work at a Chinese food place? I feel like you do no liquor store Are you sure it's not a Chinese liquor store because but I'm your store when I see the pub right next door is all right

I work at a Chinese place Perfect right Chinese restaurant and the landlord. Yeah of the buildings. Yeah Right is her Right, so this is what you do. Yeah, this is what you do. Got it. This is what you do forget now. You can see it Right. Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, go ahead So after the orgy in the bottom of the thing, right? We cut to now, right a camera moving into the Chinese restaurant, right? And it goes like there's a cashier and just a busy restaurant people are coming in and out

Yes, and it goes and there's a photo of her on the thing Right on the wall on the wall like she owns it right and it goes back into right the pub Right and it zooms in on a photo, but she has red hair now, but the same face same face right here Right. She's the owner. Rosie McCann. Yeah McCann. Yes, right Rosie McCann. Yeah, and then we okay, right So Rosie McCann is the owner here. This is what she's trying to tell us. We're right next door to each other We've never met we literally Cinematically how pretty you'd see the moral of the story hold on okay You'd see like look at how cinematically this would play andres

Yeah, you you see us and you see everyone partying in the bar And they see everyone eating in the Chinese restaurant and you zoom down You know like when you can like like go down to another floor You know, I mean, but it's the same scene and below in the floor That's where you're working in a dingy thing and you suck down there and everything is shitty inside Yeah, and I'm down and we're literally one wall separations. I got something better. I got something Rosie McCann owns well What about this? What about this? What about the Rosie Chan owns yours after the death of orgy in the bar, right? Yeah, it says five years ago

Now we're going back. Oh, right. Okay going back and you and I we're on a bus Like a greyhound bus. Yeah, no, we were on like a bus city bus. Oh, okay, so you're in one, you know, seed I mean those seed right and you know, I'm reading, you know, I mean my book, you know, I mean I don't blings or whatever it is, right? I don't make dumplings, right? And you know, I mean we have this look you look at me and I look at you in the bus. Yeah And we don't actually we want you know, I mean, are we gay? A lot of this stuff is us being gay I mean, we should be at some point. I don't think we are okay, but there was a moment right five years ago, right?

There were we should have sucked it. It's a lesson or something, you know, right, right? You're right. She just wanted us to meet me right. That's all this was that's all it was right We ever gonna explain how we ended up waking up on the island naked? No, oh wait what the comedy version. Yeah, we cut to we cut to like in the end credits It's literally rosy me Ken comes downstairs and she's like, you know Well, you had to change the Dennis Kagan. He didn't do it again. Yeah, I'm like, sorry Rose and then she hits me on the head And I pass out and then someone comes down to Yoshi. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't you know, you haven't filled all the fortune Yeah, it takes it takes away from the hit you on the head

No, no, it takes away from the like the scary aspects of the mystery. Yeah, I think because we you have to remember We wake up on an island. Yeah buried naked. Mm-hmm I don't know where it's this is not like when we like in the beginning of the movie when we go to sleep, right? We both go to sleep, right? It were an hour later. We're in the middle of the Pacific in some fucking island, right? Right, so it's that like mysterious Rosie McCann and mine and Rosie Chan and yours. Yes, and it's the exact same girl It's her same person, right, right, but a different colored hair different look. Yeah, this is good I like yeah, it's so called the bottoms of Turtle Island, right? Are we gonna end on the orgy? No, because we have the cutaway scene five years either we can do two things

We either do the panning into the thing seeing Rosie's photo, right? Oh, we could do both We do that right be pan pan, right? And then eight years ago you and I were on a bus, right? Or maybe even younger something fell out of your pocket and I picked it up for you and I handed it to right and we kind of You can hand it to me and we kind of touch fingers, right, but we touch fingers a little too long Right, right. So, you know, I dropped something and we this is how long we get touch fingers, right? You hand it to me and And there's a little bit of this Just like three little things like this and I go and I kind of and I do a smile and it's your stop Do a little chuckle pull your hand away and do a chuckle

Here here do it right now give you drop your your your math how appropriate is this? Yeah. Yeah. Oh your mask you dropped it I think that take mask take it Here we go. Oh, yeah, first of all, don't I don't want to work out the scenes. We're writing Well, we're trying to work it out right now. I'm writing. All right. Give me the chuckle. Okay. Just give me the light chuckle That's perfect. Okay. Good. So we do eight years then. Yeah, but I know this is not Film school kid will hate this Well, we cut right back to the orgy We do no because I'll tell you why you do

Because I think this is a franchise Right shit, we have to set up a sequel We know we do have to set up a sequel we do right? Okay, so how do we do that? So what we do is something else has to happen, right? Just out of nowhere, right? So we do okay, so we go See the photos of her face on the restaurants, right eight years ago on the bus, right? We do the thing, right? Right. Yeah, we cut back to the orgy, right? Yeah, it was like Sucking each other's digs, right party. Oh, so there's like Right the fuck it shakes everything shakes opens up about right and then like

Eric Riffin we Eric Riffin's got to be in it No, what happens it opens up it opens up and we hear a voice. Yeah, yeah, and it says He who sucks hardest gets out first whatever right we think whoever's sucking the best Yeah, suck the hardest cuz right and we all have to look at each other. Everyone's going suck suck suck suck suck No, no, you wouldn't say suck suck if every okay if everyone's competing cuz you Competing to get the fuck out. There's one guy that isn't gonna, right? They're not gonna encourage each other to suck each other's dick But it could be like this Amy suck suck suck you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that You just wouldn't you'd see the guy saying all right. Yeah, whoever sucks the hardest, right?

And during all this chaos Sucked off right and you're so right, but Amidst all the chaos amidst all the chaos amidst all the chaos one guy Bobby one guy Gets it get extricated one guy and he is gotta be that's the sequel that's the sequel and I don't know what happens to him Right. He's our guy one red and what one red and one Asian gets to go up You're not gonna go up and then I'm not gonna I'm gonna be the sequel as well. Correct. I know. Thank you All right, all right, so one one Yoshi and one lucky gets sucked up We both get sucked up right not the original guys right just two other guys, right? Let's just open up with the second movie

We both right and then the credits go right to right Rob, right? Right, right credits, right? Right the music and then Guess what you don't we release the second one a week later We're back to back right we had like a secondary team back to back to back. Yes Fuck dude anyway, oh God man, I love so hard one of the most fun movies. I think that we'll hit the theaters hopefully in 2022 2025 never

Bottoms up to a lot too much s and the D stuff, but that's okay Yeah, I feel like yeah too much if I was a film critic, you know, I mean I think the first thing is like I think it was a little bit too much focused on The sexuality that being said yeah pretty good film pretty scary pretty scary honestly Our fans, please can you drop some man? We should actually if you're a good artist Can you draw some stuff for us so we can get we need to have a storyboard? Okay, if we able to pitch this we have a storyboard, right? We need like some art concepts

We do need our concept concepts. Please send in that stuff, but don't just submit just to write to go I loved it. Don't do that. Please submit real art to this submit real storyboards. I thought it was Very good for just coming up with it. I loved it on the spot. I loved it. I thought it was a great movie Yeah, I thought it was a great movie and I can't wait to make it a good writing team. I think yeah Yeah, we just we bounce well you bounce and Pete Pete We're gonna make an NFT over this script that Pete did and sell it on the internet for 800 million dollars. Yeah I want to take I want to let Rudy take us out. Do the noise do thank you for being a bad friend And then the noise into that camera go head rude. Thank you for being a bad friend