Bad Friends - The Fight & Rudy's Gotta Boyfriend!

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: http://shipstation.com​ & http://meundies.com/badfriends​ & DoorDash code: badfriends & http://headspace.com/badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00​ Andrew Knows 40% of America 4:20​ Asian Horror Film Reviews 9:05​ The Worst Star Wars Scene, Andrew Walked Out 12:35​ The Batman Debate: Best and Worst Batmans 27:20​ Queen's Gambit & Sticky Fingaz 31:58​ Andrew Makes a Mistake 41:00​ The Somewhere Over The Rainbow Argument 48:12​ Bobby's Proposal Plan 57:42​ Rudy Sings! 59:01​ Fancy B in The Hot Seat 1:08:03​ The Bulleit Bourbon and IBM Stories More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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They're bad friends. What did you watch last night? Well, it was a movie called The Dark and the Wicked and I Didn't know I've never heard anything about it. So, you know, I saw it on iTunes I was like, I'll look at some reviews and like I saw 30 reviews on YouTube. So I bought it. I watched it last night Oh, it's so good. The Dark and the Wicked. Oh, yeah, who's in it? No one that you would know, but it's a lot of white people. No, I know a lot of white people I know, but there's so many white people. You don't know all the white people. You don't know We kind of know each other. Not all the whites. The name one. I don't even know their names

I mean, I've never seen them before the dark the dark and the wicked, but it's like It's basically I'll just tell you the premise of the movie. Oh By the way Marin Ireland know her Michael Abbott, Jr. I know him Julie Oliver touchstone Lynn Andrews Tom Nowicki Michael Zags. You know all those guys I know all these buttons from your white meetings. Yeah, my white meeting. Yeah. Yeah, when you do your zoom We do your zoom white meeting. What is it like a billion fucking little slots there? Well, there's not a there's not a billion of us There's not a billion white people. I don't think so. I'm sure there is

Well, it feels because your egos are so big. Well, there's it seems like a billion. There's 375 million Americans Americans. Yeah How many how many of them are white? probably I would say The dominant majority 45 percent You think less than Less less than 50. I think I think that minorities or ethnic people collectively make up more than whites. I think so Okay, so then we're 40%

So why are you guys complaining that you're the minority? Sounds like we're the minority pal What we collectively we have to get we have joined forces like the Avengers like the Avengers you should To take on the great white ghost Maybe you're right We're complaining too much, but the dark the dark and the wicked is about So it's in the country. It's so scary Whenever I go to a farm, I'm scared As it is. I don't want to go anywhere near farms. I know me either

Oh, they're like I've I've done road gigs where I've driven by farms and I'll be with a comic and they go Let's go touch a cow. I go fuck that. Nope. Fuck that cow Yeah, I go move. Fuck you move And um, I just don't trust it and uh, so crazy shit happens on children of the corn Well, even real things like edgine edgine farmhouse farmhouse who else what else what else was farmhouse crazy stuff George George is born in a farm. Yeah, so that's all I need to know so, um, basically it's in a farmhouse and so, um, this older couple

Probably in their 70s, right? Perfect. The father is sick. So he's like kind of in hospice in house in the house dying Got tubes in the yeah There's a nurse there Right, and then the mother, um Is telling her to adult children not to come but they come anyway. Don't come daddy's ain't gonna make he's not gonna No, there's something else don't come. I can't tell you what it is. Oh, don't don't give it away. I'm not gonna Okay, but don't come because shit's shit's going down all around here. Well, then you're gonna come that sounds fun

What's going on? No, no like levitating Levitations Okay Shit moving around So but they come anyway like white people do because if my dad called, uh, don't come. All right Okay, bye No, right back to video games. No, but are you right? I mean if your parents said don't come would you come? Well, I don't know. Yeah, that is white instinct. I would go. Why? Why don't you want me to come? Something happened?

Yeah, Asian instinct is we trust you. Yeah, there's something going on. You don't have to explain it I'll go deal. There's a gut instinctual thing going on. Yeah, we go home. Yeah That's why I have to add another point of view that is when that's why I don't like now Asian horror movies Why because the characters in the Asian horror movies don't seem as scared Right, so someone's like, huh, and they're just like, uh Uh, no, but like if they're zombies, right? We'll fight back Zombie right and they'll pick up a sword. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, right? Whereas white people run

Yeah, right. Yeah, so then it will seem as scared to me and who lives the whites The whites live that's true and the Asians are like They get that's true. So the back to the dark and the wicked. Yeah, um the adult children come right and then um Um Well, it's just that you can't give anything away. I'm not gonna give it away. But can I just describe a scene? Well, that's giving it away. I know but it's not the plot of the point of the movie I think it's in the trailer. All right. Go ahead. All right. So, um, spoiler alert

You spoiler alert. It's late at night Let me just say just if this happened to you. What would you do? Okay? Your mom decides at midnight to chop vegetables Oh, I'm leaving. No, I'm really right. Get down there. I'm leaving. Yeah. Why are you up chopping vegetables at midnight? Right. What are you doing? And then what kind of kid are you to not go? What are you doing mom? What are you doing? Yeah, we don't you making the post pot roast now Right, so this is in silence, right? She was cutting so they go to bed the adult children like no big deal Yeah, cut, you know, she's going through something. Okay, right? And then she starts cutting faster

Yeah, and then it starts going fast and she goes past the onion Right, right. She goes past the onions cut off the dad's dick. No and starts chopping her own fingers Right, but not just one part just like it's like diced onions slicing dice. Yeah. Yeah The kids wake up and they go to the kitchen and they see beautifully sliced onions Beautifully sliced carrots, right? With fingernails and shit finger pieces of fingers pieces of finger and blood all over the place, right? And they're like, then they go, holy shit. What the fuck's going on, right? Yeah, and then they they go, mom Right, they yell out into the farmlands. I don't know what they call it farmland sounds, right? Yeah. Yeah. They yell out in the farmlands. Yeah

mom Mom And they're just you can see them running around, right? Uh-huh and in the distance, you know, the camera cuts back Pans out. Well, the camera's in a I guess a farm house Right, it's zoomed into them yelling mom and as it peels back You can see the feet of the mom dangling from the farm She's she hung herself

Because she cut her hand. No, that makes sense How does that make sense because if you accidentally cut your finger and you're like, oh god, I gotta kill myself Right, it's embarrassing the next step. Yeah, the next step. So that's how the movie opens Right, so then you know where does it go from there? It gets fucking so scary. Cool. Lots of murder That murder are just suspicious things going on. Oh, I like it. Did you watch it? But no, she does she won't watch it But shit, but there's shit that goes on in these white people fucking horror movies It's better. They're very good because of your fright

Witnessing your fright, right makes me experience what it's like to be you To be white exactly, but you'll never be white never. No, I'll never be a coward That's yeah, and I'll never be weak You are very weak. I know I am. Yeah, you could be white I am white. Why are you so scared to watch horror movies rude? I'm not This is how she watches it. This is how she watches it. Bobby doesn't know how she watches it Okay She she goes into like a pill bug, right? Yeah into a ball, right? Then she'll take 52,000 blankets

And put it on top of her Right, right in a ball And then one eye is watching the whole fucking thing. Why are you so scared? Because it's scary, but I still want to watch it but did you but when you watch him with with tito bobby and and uh And colla colla's in a room. Well, I was going to say colla colla, but I know that I was I was going to say tito colla girlfriend since colla anti colla

When you watch it with them. Do you not you never get through it? You have to quit early Um, or can you finish the whole thing? I can finish See are you good at finishing in one sitting? Oh, yeah, I can't not because I'm freaked out or anything Just every movie every show I I got to stop Well, they take you out of the momentum. No No, something I need to break like, you know how you need a cigarette once in a while I need to just walk away for a little you walk away and then you to come back next day A couple hours later next day. I can't I can't do it in one swing any movie any show any movie

Movie theater is the only thing I can keep me in there the whole time Right if I'm watching movies you'll have you ever left a movie About a hundred times where you just stood up star wars Which one? The second one the second or third which one was the one that came out and It came out here. We'll ask One of the resident dorks down below. It's the one that I almost walked out. I think it's the same one 2000 it's the one where Princess Leia flies in space. Yeah, whatever that was

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, once she did that And she did that like Mary Poppins like flying through the space get out of here. I I stood up I left and I was I was making a decision. I should I don't know. That's ridiculous. So annoying. That's not a force. No, right? I'm gonna go and then I had with I was with people just leave you want to go And they're like, no All right, you stayed stayed you're a good friend Oh, it just got worse than worse and then like there was a part part in there where like, um

Which one was that they went to the casino when they went to the you know, I mean where they had the fat chubby asian chick Yeah, which she's great actress by the way, and she got roasted online. Yeah, right? Well, you didn't help just now She's a very talented actress. Sure. She's she looks like me. Yeah She looks like me, but uh with a vagina. She stole the role that could have been for you No way when they say steal the role that they referring to your body type as well. All right, go ahead Okay, that's rude. It's real and you're being mean and that's mean but fun. What I'm not you are I'm not that's gross which which which which Star Wars is it? It's the second one. It was called, um Return of the Jedi

Is it return? No, which one is it? Um, Andres? Yeah Last the last Jedi. Yeah, and it was the last time I watched one. Well, you didn't see that that in follow-up No, I wanted to see the follow-up of it just to see what because jg abram's Was in the helm again, right? He did. Yeah, so he's like I gotta fix it. Yeah, so I was just wondering Could he Could he fix it right? But you know what threw me off in the third one is when I saw the trailer for the third one coming out

Yeah, and at the end of the trailer you do remember what you heard someone laughing No The emperor. Oh Right and I'm like He's alive. He's alive. Yeah, they just gave that away. The emperor is alive The emperor The one that got thrown. Yeah in that ship electricity Remember was it electric? Is that what remember he was like zapping luke? Oh, yeah

He was zapping luke right with it with the shit, right? Yeah, his wizard shit, right? Right, he's like no no Whatever he was doing luke, right and then fucking anakin or Darth Vader Stupid not my son, right? He picks up right the emperor throws him and and the emperor's flying with still with the electricity, right? You're gonna interact with the electricity like falling, right? There's no far cheeky falls Times 10 times 10, right? Yeah, it probably hits the asphalt in plows. Yeah, right x-plates Whatever, right, whatever he does then you hear

In the fucking trailer. He's alive. He's alive. He's fucking alive So I but I saw it anyway. Yeah, because I want to see if you could do it that laugh. He kind of did You know that reminds me of what do you remember? Do you remember the original Batman Batman one? Do you remember Batman one well or no with the Michael Keaton? The greatest one. Yeah, that wasn't the greatest one best one by far. Oh, I love this best one by far So yours lasts for me best one by far Why because of jack Nicholson jack and michael together were to look great movie. Here's why great movie when I was a kid Yeah, and I was a huge fan of Batman. Batman's is my by far the only superhero. I like yeah, okay

I think Superman is whack I don't I don't like any of the other ones. I like Batman and when I saw his face in the mask That looked like what Batman was to me It just made perfect sense and his voice was it was perfect And that scene you know who directed it and that scene who directed it Edward james almost no who know who direct who who directed though your favorite Batman movie I know exactly who directed it was the same guy that helped write it. He's the same guy that did a word Edward scissor hands Yeah, what's his name?

Sid Edward james almost no, that's his name. What's his name? His name is he did he did nightmare before christmas. Yeah, what's his name? You forgot his name. Did you not he did? You forgot the name. Tell me the name he did He did um, yeah, uh, no, I know it's tim Burton, but he did. Okay, very good. No, I'm a huge fan Did you go see the exhibit when it was that? Um, oh, yeah, I was that thing. I went twice. I put the stuff up. You did. Yeah, that was you I'm the one that was putting the stuff up. They were yelling at you. I know they're yelling faster Come on you little dumpling

No, Burton the reason I loved it someone but that laugh that you did was remember when The joker had fallen off the building And he died and he was smashed into the earth below But in his pocket was the little laughing chatter. Oh, that was a really good and it was Yeah, it was a really good scene So I used to do that around my house. My mom would fucking lose it right be in another room going Stop it stop it. Yeah If you were I watched that movie a thousand times if I was a batman villain, yeah, which one would I be?

Oh I don't know. I already know who you're mr. Freeze. No, I know you'd be the penguin. Yeah, exactly. Fuck you I knew you're gonna say that I knew you're gonna say that Oswald pop. Yeah, you'd be too face. Yes. Yeah, you would be Yeah, you think yeah, yeah my coin. Yeah, um, who would Rudy be? Not not an IV. Yeah. Oh, yes. You would be poison ivy Yeah, for sure because you seem at a distance just like poison ivy physically the plant It seems fine and harmless. Then what happens you touch it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's paralytic you become. Yeah, that's your poison ivy, aren't you? Yeah, George would be Bane The opposite of me George would be Yeah, I don't know there isn't one does it because I would Andreas is the joker. No, Andreas is the riddler domain Okay riddler joker. It's the next intonation They're two different characters. I know but they came from one another They're not brothers. They influence they influence one another. They all influenced each other

No, yes, how did the penguin get influenced by any other? How did the riddler get influenced by the joker? They have a similar demeanor. Yeah, but they weren't like, you know, like riddler didn't call joker and go Hey, man, let's let you know. Yes, he did. My style is based on your clothing They never had they never was you don't think they sat down and had a drink and gave him props No, there was not like and he wasn't like I got most of what I have from you It's not like JJ Abrams and Spielberg. You know, I mean that's same guy All right, they're both Jewish. I I think that uh, so you're saying that the first batman

First batman is better than the dark night. The dark night is a great movie, right? But you love the dark night Mostly because of the visuals, right? But in its time the batman batman for its time the original because without crazy special effects that we've got today and the visuals that we're able to do today For its time was was remarkable. Christopher Nolan isn't necessarily his whole thing is less, you know, mean Visual effect sure more real time. It still has it anyway I understand that but the thing is is, you know, number one The dark night is a superior movie. It's not it really is you just like it because it's way more it's realistic

It's more current. What was not realistic about the original? If somebody falls into a vat of chemicals Yeah, it would die Is this Roger Rabbit? What movie are you talking about now in the how does the joker become the joker in in the Your version of the batman first of all first of all, how does he become the joker? He doesn't fall into a vat What does he fall into chemicals, right? He's he part of his body gets Chemicalized. Yeah, he falls into a gigantic thing of fucking chemicals. Yeah, but he doesn't you don't know if they're corrosive

We don't know if they're gonna kill you it's gonna kill you that green shit. The emperor is still alive Hmm no this transcends. It's not real None of it's real you fucking goof. You wanted to say gook, huh goof gook. I said goof you wanted to put the k in Nope What you want to know don't call me goof that is too close to gook goof is fine. All right, you fucking goof you fucking What it's goof what if it's goof? goof That's a good you goof

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It's just I love Batman one because it was everything to me as a kid because I could also say then that the second one Yeah, yeah, really good the second one is so good too What oh the second Batman with the Tim Burton one. Yeah, this yeah, I think that was really good Yeah, and then after that it got it got insane. It got real bad. Clooney was maybe the worst Batman choice of all time Chris O'Donnell closed Closed the Robin execs. It was like we're not doing that ever again. It's over game over. Why would we do that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, who else do you think who else you know? I've worked with them before I'm sure he's a great guy

It's not really nice. It's not his fault. It's a really nice. It's a bad role. Yeah, who else could have been I wanted to say I wanted to say well for those because at one time he was sitting next to me We're doing a scene and I want to say I just want to let you know It made me laugh. I wasn't going to do this, but I want to tell Chris O'Donnell I want to go I just want to let you know that I think that you're Robin's the best Robin Because there wasn't one you why didn't you say that it would have been funny if I would have said that he would have liked it No, I don't think so. Why I don't think so. You think you don't think he knows you don't think he's enough self-aware I don't know, but I just didn't know him enough to like because he could have gone way bad

Right, so I just kept that to myself, but it made me laugh God, that's funny in your mind when you go, please do it do it Bobby do it. I think I can do it. Yeah, there's no now Would you do it now? No, why? Enough time has passed because it's like it's the same reason why I can't bring up Bucky to Nick Swanson. Why because it got such bad reviews on run tomatoes and I like the guy So I just don't want to bring it up Yeah, but I think once things Once things do poorly and we're past them you have to be able to make fun of them particularly if you're a comedian

Yeah, so Donald's not a comedian. I guess but with Nick or any of our friends. You've done stuff that flops Yeah, everything I've done, but I mean we have to make fun of it all. Yeah, and also Chris O'Donnell is like, um It's not his fault. He's that's what I said. Yeah, it's so funny because you know, I was defending Serious silverman not not defending what Basically somebody was going to sell her silverman. Well, you did black for the face On a sketch she did years ago. Yeah, yeah, right and it's like by the way, we all did blackface on a sketch I did I I did. Oh, you did. Oh, yeah. I did a thing where I was um Jordan appeals and Keegan's third brother on mad tv. I'm mad tv and I had to wear a ball cap

And they painted my face black blackface if as an asian guy you it's a little different. It's not as right It's not it's not the same. I could be tiger woods Here I look like tiger wood. Yeah, you do but the thing is um, but so I was defending um, you look like tiger woods if he was a bowler Go ahead. I was I was That hurt come on the burn though. What do you mean? So, um, that's really good bowler, um But I but serous silverman did I know I was like, um, well, where was this people were attacking her online

On twitter and I and I was just basically saying it's not as if like, you know, um You as an actor you have a lot of control over things you have almost no control Right people tell you what to do, right? You mean there's there's forces that are more powerful than you You know, I mean that are like convincing you to do something that you don't really feel quite comfortable with right But you do it anyway because it's like you're on a tv show and you're just gonna do it Well, also also the reason I imagine she did it because at the time I'm sure satire. It's yeah. I'm sure she was making fun of the thing and it's also another thing is you know, um It's it's she has a pass when it comes to all black comedians, right?

Know who she is and knows what her heart is and she they know that she's doing satire. Here's the problem. Yeah, here's the problem What black comedians aren't the ones that are upset about it. I know it is period. Yeah, so this is the issue That's the issue. Yeah, right like like any to that's not the person that gets upset about it Because if people don't understand the difference between the joke and the reality, right? I don't know what to tell you like it's just that's that stuff's hard. Well, because look look, uh Look, um Jimmy Kimmel he did a blackface guy. He was jack or somebody. I don't remember what he was and they try to blow up his spot This past summer, you know, yeah, and it didn't work

It doesn't work because because every per every black person he's associated with that was in that sketch with him Yeah, was like now that was part of the joke It's some fucking liberal annoying brat at their computer Social the attachment from the right wing by the way Why for oh because she's so far left. Yeah, the attachment from the right wing like you did this But um, you're a hypocrite. That's why you need to be somewhere in the middle But it's like you know when mickey rooney and um, I said remember before in the previous podcast I said john away and play gankess con. I don't really blame them because also the time period right well

Yeah, right, right? It's different. It's like when times change even 10 years ago. We we have a different outlook on Race as we do now, right? It's constantly changing. We used to be able to beat asians in public Now it's a big nyan nyan. You can't do that. I used to hit every korean kid I saw on the street. I know Japanese because you're a bully and you're a bad person. No, I'm not and I would never hit koreans But here's the thing about you though is um, you know when I first met you I'm racially ambiguous I know you are you can't put me in a category. I know but when I first met you right You know, there's a part of me that's like, um, oh, he's a bully

Yeah, in the just in the your first my first impression of you right is that he's just the east coast, you know midwest You know Bullish, but then I realized that he's You know, uh, softy soft. I have a softy, right? Well, I'll beat the shit out of you if you make me mad But otherwise I want to be your butt I'm I'm an I want to I want to squeeze you a rage a ton of it. Yeah, I know and I'm working it out I know you there's been suggestions from fans that we get you help on the show that I need to get help on the show Like what kind of help do I need? No, no, no that we've already done that for you remember

We got the clue we try to get you We need help for you. We'll get a therapist in here. George. You want to get me a therapist? For the next time and I'll do a therapy session An anger management therapist And maybe it'll maybe it'll calm me down a little bit But I've been really good lately because I've been able to run again Yeah, I know but I have when I can't run though. I've been close to you. Do you know how I know this? I know your spots

Yeah, I know no, no, I do and I'm not going to say the spots because I don't want to get you there Sure, but I know the spots. Yeah, right and I could say three or four things right now Right now. Yeah in a row. Yeah, right. Uh-huh. That's going to take you to a level of rage, right, right? That's going to just um destroy this whole building. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Good boy. Do you know why? I'm a good guy a good guy, right? But I have even new information Right and and facts and and things I could shoot you with. Oh, right But I wouldn't do it, right? But that's how I'm not gonna do it. I love you

But that's the kind of power I have and let me tell you the power I have Go ahead. It says this is all chess. I just chess. Yeah, speaking of the chess By the way, queen's bank gambit is the best show on television. That's what my girlfriend says the best show on television I have to watch it then. It's it's you. Do you know it rude? Yeah. Do you have you seen it? Yeah Oh, so you watch it with klila. No, I've watched it by myself. How many episodes? Seven total. I have you watch you saw seven. I'm still on five. It's a limited series. There's only seven episodes in total Yes, I love chess. Do you play chess? I'm so bad every time I play I lose Oh, I love that you'll be you'll beat me. No way. I'm dude. Honestly, you know how it works though

What do you mean? I don't want to play chess. Oh, you do. How do it works? What happens? You know how it works, right? Do you know how to play chess? Not really. Yeah. Yeah, so people don't know how it works. Well, you have to know how the you have to know what pieces can move Where is that just how they the little relationships between the pieces? Correct. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know how to play chess I learned when I was in high school, but I was never good and I never kept going when I moved to west Hollywood There's russians that play chess in plumber park. Oh, yeah, and I went down there one morning and I watched for two hours You're mad or something

You bring your own mad and you're no I watched and I thought I bet you I bet you I could At least put up a little bit of a fight against one of these guys. There's no way I went sat down lasted maybe Two minutes, maybe a minute and a half and he beat me and he looked up at me and he was like He didn't even talk. Yeah, he gave me a head nod that meant fuck off There's a and I did I fucked off. I knew better There's a rapper named named sticky fingers or something sticky fingers age is his name sticky fingers Is that do I have it right? Yeah. I've been real. Yes. I did a movie with them once with sticky fingers Yeah, yeah, and he chess. Yeah. So we were on set

He's like, yo, man, I got my chessboard and went I'm not gonna play you. I'll kill you. I'm asian I just said that And here's all this homies were like, ah They're laughing right. Yeah come through then right Come through I go when keep it 100 play chess come through. I said I'll come through Where is it say to I'll come through to right? And that so then like what trailer is it because a bunch of actors or whatever The one with the smoke coming out of it. It literally was it's just hot box. It's just like smoke coming out of it because of the weed

Right, right So, you know, I look at the trailer when I go I made that noise There here we go, right poof. I literally walked in and I walked out. I lost Just that's how that's how fast it was. I walked in like this and I walked out like that and I fucking lost Sticky's really good at chess. He was so fucking good In fact, I thought to myself. I've probably played about eight black people in my lifetime in chess never beat any of them They're so good at strategy. They really are. Well, well people that love chess

That really love black people especially good at them Well, because because because I bet you he had his own shit It was his own board of special pieces and stuff custom made, right? This isn't just like a fucking chess Wait, wait, wait, you're you're accusing him of fraud What you're not accusing him of fraud. Are you I'm saying it's cussed I think he probably invests time and money into chess most people that play chess Yeah, aren't casual. You either are fucking obsessed with chess. Yeah, or you go. Yeah, I played I'm not I'm not that good because there's no middle word

We bought a board for the pandemic and it's still in the wrapper is what I'm talking about Most people you're either fucking insane about it or you're like, I don't really play chess We'll get one in here and let's play I'd love to play again with you, but I want to learn how to play speed chess Well, that's the same rules but faster. Yeah, but I mean no Yes, it's the same rules. I'm saying but the skills aren't unbelievably different. I know they are I want to do it. You need to watch queen's gambit. How good is it the little redheaded girl? Is it me? Yeah, it's me. I love you see searching for bobby fisher. Of course great movie. Do you know who that is?

You don't know who bobby fisher is. No, do they have that in the fucking philippines? Do you know who magnum is? Magnum is this? Magnum is? Yeah, like magma. Magnus. Magnus. Magnus for Magnuson the strongest man in the world Magnus is um This I think he's from It sounds like sweden or swiss. Yeah, yeah, sweden or yeah And he's I think he's the number one chess player in the world, but he's young He's a cool blonde-headed kid. Oh, and there was a documentary. I watched it. You did

It's really good and he's taking the other kid came and took over. I watched that It's about it's about the next it's about the next um next in because there was one kid that was like Well the document with the document is called madness. How did you not know? Is it I don't think it's called madness I think it's called something else. I gotta get my phone out But whatever no just let me just do it. Okay, magnus carlson. Yeah No, no, no, dude. There's another documentary about yeah, but the magnus documentary. Oh, dude I'm thinking of the rubik's cube thing I watched that fucking

Same thing I didn't see it Yeah, this documentary is called madness madness. All right, so you would have known this I'm thinking of watch this documentary rubik's cube. Watch this document. They're two different fucking things same kind of guy Yeah, same kind of brain football movie was called who's yours. It was fucking amazing same kind of brain same brain Fuck Yeah, and keep it in don't even edit it out. That's what you are That's what you are

Cut that cut that out or bleep it Do you look like a fool? You know, it's like so funny It's like when one people do foolish things like that and they say that They go into a thing like what you're doing. You're frozen. I know you're frozen right now because of shame No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're going like this. No, I'm listening to your bullshit Oh, shit. How do I get out of this one? No, it's not getting out of it. I'm faster than you. I'm funnier than you I'm stronger than you. I'm taller than you. I'm better than you in literally every physical way and mental How do I get out of this one?

You're a you're a little tiny Round booger rat Moron and that's where you and you're a stupid and you're a stupid for the names No, you're an action. You're going to name calling you call me an artard Yeah, but we're going to cut that out. So it doesn't even matter. No, we're leaving in our tart. You said it to me You called it to me three times Just apologize for making a mistake. No, yes, you made a mistake I'm not apologizing for fucking thinking something was something else. I said, no, it's a rubik's cube movie

And rubik's cubes are two different things. It's the point of the film. It's not the fucking the fucking item It's that I oh, yeah, there was a kid. It was the champion and he got taken over and I'm thinking. Oh, it's a fucking rubik's cube Well, how would you madness? It's not even call. I don't know the title of the fucking movie Fuck man You made a mistake. You look like a fool and that's all no, it's only because you ran into it with your car No, it could have gone. Oh, yeah, it was a rubik's cube. No, it was really sad to watch you just now Just please and like go through that fucking thing. You're you're you're go ahead. Go me name call I'm fat. I'm weak. Yep. Yep. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to survive in a forest fact

Yeah, that's right. Unless there was a fucking bakery then there are a lot of health in a tree. I'm alive. Am I not a piece of shit? Am I not alive? I hope your fucking feet. There we go. Now. That's you diabetic fucking turd making a white Ladies and gentlemen bad friends friends fans when your teeth fall out from smoking. Let this listen and your little rat mustache So when and your little bullshit ass dick makes a mistake, right? This is how we What are your results? No, it's only when you go at it with me And so I want to let you guys know that we do need a therapist because he has massive issues Look at him. He's trying to laugh it off. But I see it in his eyes when bobby goes after me Yeah, after I said, oh, yeah, no. Yeah, I said that the wrong then I have to attack you back

No, you put me up against the wall. Yeah, what do you want me to do? See See, yeah, you see what you did. What see what you did you ruin my vibe You fucked up my vibe. I love it and you've never listened to the scorpions once That's true. Yeah, you fucking poser you fake fuck cut that out. No, you hollywood cut that part. No Yeah, you cut that part out. Yeah No, fuck you. No, fuck you. You're cutting that part out. Fuck you. We're cutting that part out No, George, you're you're fired if you fucking keep that in then fuck you George get fired. You fucking cunt. I'll hire someone else

You cut it out. Andres, you touch that fucking scorpion thing. Andres, if you don't cut out the scorpion, if you don't cut out the scorpion thing Do what what are you gonna fucking do? What is so angry about I just Here's why we have too many I did I did See then you add look like a fool You add look like a fool, but just let's just let's move on. No, I move on Let's move on. Oh, yeah. It was a really good move on. No, don't do that. All right. Don't go low. Can you breathe? You started it. I didn't start it. Andres, get on the fucking mic and say who started it. Keep her listening right now

Shut the fuck up. See you're going in the aggressive. Andres, who started it? Say it see that don't be a say it Wow, what yes Stop everything stops. Oh, wait, wait, wait. It was stuff to stuff. She said Tito Bobby because she knows Say to the mic. She did Tito Bobby. I love you. I started it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah When he was wrong you immediately humiliated humiliated him. You could have just yeah, but was he not wrong? Yeah, but it wasn't

Let her finish Go ahead. It wasn't a big thing. Right. Well, he made he mistake like a It yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Thank you. Thank you. Andreas. I have some defense here No, he's not defending you. Yeah. What were you saying Andreas? That he mistake a chessboard with a little cube. Right. Is that is that a big puffer? It's a medium size medium size. Yeah And I my response was medium size. No, it wasn't. Yeah, how big was the response jules? You said the r you said the r word over and over

No, we're not we're leaving it in because we need to teach you a lesson. All right, so I'm gonna let you know All right, don't point it or put your finger down put your little fat finger down. All right But you you just put that finger down now. You betrayed me just I know that All right, and you know what I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow And you're lucky that I'm leaving tomorrow Jules, I love you. You're a good friend Tell me tell people how excited you are to go to Hawaii I'm going to Hawaii. You know, you know, there's how much I love how much love I have for you in my heart

That in this when I was in the shower You know what I was singing my focus is on you anymore I my focus is let it go. No, I'm not grow up this fucking Shakespearean bull fucking bullshit right here First of all, she's an aggressive genius who has dangerous qualities. Do you really want to get on her fucking bad side? That's why I'm not getting physical. Okay. Well, I would watch your tone with her too because she'll fucking kill you. I'm sorry. Good boy Door dash. I would not have been able to survive this pandemic without door dash, Andrew No, I know it's true I would have been starving because all my food is from door dash every single thing that bobby eats is

Uh delivered to his front door through door dash. It is so convenient. You want Chinese? They got it. You want pizza? They got it. You want froyo? They got it boba. They got it. Belute. They don't got it They have balloon to do Andrew. They do. Yeah Okay, correction door dash has balloon. They have balloon crazy get door dash. It's incredible Yeah, continue supporting restaurants in your own community as well And there are thousands of restaurants open for delivery on door dash that needs your patronage patronage Now more than ever support your favorite restaurants on door dash. Go to door dash. It's the app

It's so easy. It brings you food that you're craving right now at this moment 300 000 partners in u.s. Puerto Rico, canada and australia Support all the people that you love chipotle wendy's cheesecake factory and for bob spaghetti factory, which he loves the most You can get all this stuff on door dash delivered to your front door Delivers are now contactless to keep communities safe as things are sketch outside right now Our listeners are going to get five bucks off and zero delivery fees on their first order of 15 bucks or more When you download the door dash app and enter the code bad friends, that's five dollars off and your zero delivery fees Okay, five bucks off no no deliveries on your first order

Download the door dash app in the app store and enter the code bad friends Don't forget that's code bad friends for five bucks off your first order with door dash Headspace. Oh my god, andrew I've been using this app a headspace. Yeah to go to sleep and it really does work for me So bob likes it to go to bed I like it to chill out in the morning because bob says i'm too aggressive first thing in the morning And I need to cool it off before I call or text him the reason I like headspace honestly Because first thing in the morning. I do have high jitters. I'm too anxious. I wake up

Feeling like i'm overwhelmed for the day Yeah, and I like using headspace because it does calm me down And I think guided meditation is better than trying it on your own because it's much easier to just let go Listen and absorb and chill out. Yeah, andrew. I like the interface of the app too. It's easy to To use yeah, it's simple to navigate. Yeah, it's really easy and you can find what you're looking for right away Right, and it's like when I do it. I find jesus headspace is a daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations And an easy to use app. It's simple. It's so nice. It's actually very calming Meditation is so important to put you in the moment, right and to focus on your breathing and just it's it's

It just makes everything especially in a pandemic just more it levels everything out Right it reduces stress improves sleep boost focus increase your overall sense of well-being Honestly, you know, we're a big advocate for mental health on this show We've talked about it before both bobby and I are open about our therapeutic sessions And headspace is another way to get your head in the right space online meditation It makes it easy for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you It's also headspace is backed by 25 published studies on its benefits

600,000 five star reviews and over 60 million downloads. That's freaking out. That's amazing You deserve to feel happier and headspace meditation is made simple go to headspace.com slash bad friends That's headspace.com slash bad friends for one free month trial with access to headspace full library of meditations for every situation It's the best deal offered right now. Honestly go to headspace.com slash bad friends today This morning in the shower. I thought of you and I got excited for you Well, I gotta breathe through this and I was singing uh I was singing israel kama kawai olai's somewhere over the rainbow You know brother is the big fat hawaiian guy. Mm-hmm. I was singing that song in the shower

Jules, were you saying for us? Chess is not like Oh, so you don't make mistakes is that we're gonna go back to the song Is that how the lyrics go roll lower your voice? Lower your voice I buy shirts of bands. I don't know no Because now you're getting that's not fair. You get to make fun of me for a mistake. I can make fun of you I understand that but there's no it all stays it all stays because we've gone too far and by the way

If you think it's gonna get cut i'm gonna reference it four more times in the podcast and then we're gonna have to cut out No, they won't no they won't no they won't cut out the our word and we have to cut out the scorpion stuff No, no because they're one and the same they're one and the same. We're gonna beep the our word It's gonna go oot, but everyone already knows what you said And we've talked about it too much stop bringing it up if you don't want if you want to cut out stop saying it So move forward don't bring up this though and we're cutting that out. No keep the rope Why do you care so much about the scorpions because it there's it's a band that you don't know I understand that and you don't want to be a white girl from la right you are

I know except your reality Except your reality All right, andrew what island what island are you staying on in Hawaii? No, no stop for a second Oh, let's go back to the thing you want to cut out. No, I'm not gonna cut. We're not gonna cut it out now Okay, good. All right. We're not gonna cut it out now because I want to make a point now Okay, okay. I want to make a point now. Okay For the record, we are gonna bleep the R That's fine or cut it out keep the scorpions as we cannot say it

But I know we I know but I want to make a point now and I'm not I'm there, but I'm not there I'm at the line. Okay. Okay Is um, there's certain things right that and I don't know why it is right, but there's certain things that I'm Paranoid about or I I'm sensitive about like what? this Why because I should know I because I make fun of people that wear shirts So perhaps you need to think about not making fun of people. I don't know how I got this It was just in my I really don't so there's so then just say that no, but just listen to what I'm saying

Okay, I would even when I was putting it on today. You thought about it I thought about I don't think I should wear it because I don't really know much about the band Right, so I don't know how I got this but see this moment of vulnerability is better than the opposite. I'm just talking for just Let me just say something. Let me finish this. Okay um It's and there are certain things and I'm gonna say it right the things that you are sensitive about as well Sure, it feels the same that yes, I don't know why wearing a shirt I don't know why but it does so my physical insecurities, right? It does it feels that way. Do you think that feels the same as a shirt

You put on yeah, because I have no physical insecurities at all. So I don't know I can't relate to you on that level That's not the same thing at all. Yeah, because I'm very paranoid about it. It's sensitive about it. Yeah, but that's a thing You've made up. It's not even a real thing. That's that's not even your physical No, that's real. I feel that I see it. I know it. It's real. It's not it's no one else feels that way You feel that about yourself, right? But the projection you have because of a shirt you put on is completely different It's it's only because you make fun of people that do that exact same thing, right? Well sister don't make fun of those but you also make fun of people with you know mean physical things as well like what? Who do I make you'll just make you'll make fun of a woman's body their ship like an eggplant or whatever it might be what?

You're making that up I've seen you say that where that lady looks like an eggplant where? When we're hanging out It's something that you would say. No, no, see you're making shit up. All right I don't make fun of people's bodies unless of course they're in a wheelchair then I pick on them for sure No What island are you going to? I don't know man. Are you gonna Maui?

I don't know I guess man shut up. No kawai No, Oahu. I'm excited for you. I'm so fucking jealous Yeah, I think I need a break You need a break? Yeah from this all you've been on a break Not really No touring Barely tv

Podcast that's all you've been doing. You're not writing any new shit. You're not doing any jokes. You're not having any stages You're not traveling. You're not on planes. This has been a break Yeah, but I kind of I like working and um me too. I miss it And I and I I'm just kind of excited to work. That's all you need a break from podcast la life. That's what I meant I'll break from you From this and kalayla No, that's you know, no Oh, maybe her

Her yeah, maybe They're not going with you Kalayla and her are gone. They were but they're not now. Why? It's just because it's just It's just too much to To worry about in terms of like COVID animals and oh the animals traveling. Yeah, and all that stuff It's just too much to worry about. Are you gonna miss are you gonna miss kalayla? I'm gonna miss kalayla. Are you gonna miss rudy? I'm gonna miss the dogs

Is rudy one of the dogs Do you do you classify her as one of the dogs? No in your house. I used to classify her as um a daughter You felt like she's a daughter to you. Yeah See to me it feels like my little sister Do I feel like an older brother to you? Yeah, I feel like family but that's feels like my sister You used to feel like her father. Now. What do you feel like to her? Father still oh, but a father betrayed Maybe a stepdad

Yeah, you kind of seem like a stepdad to her. Yeah She's not mad. She doesn't really like stepdad sometimes. She doesn't but what's why doesn't stepdad just know she's in a growing period I'm fine. She's growing up. I feel great You know one day she's gonna leave. I feel good I'm sad about hawaii You're sad. I'm excited about it. And I'm sad to leave you. I'm sad to leave I'm upset to leave everyone here in LA and um, it's not true. I do and I love you're so excited to go to hawaii I'm so excited, but I'm very excited as well. And I'm so grateful for my life. I really am

I love everything I look around my life. I walk out. I walk outside. I wake up. Yeah, and I walk outside my house I look see little jewels sleeping in a room and the dogs, you know I mean running around and I look at my at my beautiful girlfriend You're about to say wife soon to be wife And are you really gonna get married? I'm gonna marry her. Yeah, when soon. Well, the fans want to know I just don't know how to do it the engagement. Yeah, would you have a ring? I'll get one. Well, that's probably the first step. You got the Etsy or something get it

Not on Etsy ebay. Etsy ebay. Etsy's cheaper I'll go to ebay. What do you think you would do for a proposal? Probably put in a cupcake, but then she won't eat the whole thing. Right. She's yeah And then I'll do you got to eat more of it. You know, you know what you should do What have one of the dogs eat it and then and be like, oh my god We have to take them to the vet and they go to the vet and then they cut the dog open Right and there's a ring inside. Yeah, and the dog is hemorrhaging Hemorrhaging and and and while it's bleeding out. I look out and they find the ring. I go, will you marry me?

Oh, wow, that's a good one. Perfect. Yeah, you just got to hope the dog doesn't die Yeah, but if it does you're already at the vet Or stick the ring inside the my anal canal canal canal right and I'll say finger me Right, will she and then she fingers me with this. I go no with this finger Use your ring finger where we ring finger right and she and right and then boom and then as she pulls it out Yeah, it's on Will you marry me? That's perfect. Pretty good What else is another one? Oh Rudy are any of these good? Do you think a good way for a girl to get proposed to?

I like the dog going the one where Of course you do so creepy. I know because everything that I do right you don't like no no She likes she likes she likes how how how sadistic it is Yours is dirty and this one was creak death. She likes that she wants sadistic and death Yeah, like Rudy's the kind of person. All right. Well, then I stick the ring Right here's how Rudy's gonna get proposed to in 10 years by the way No time soon. No more you're still what do you hold you know 19? Yeah, 19 It's gonna be 12 years. We want you till you get married. I don't write 12 years

She's never gonna get married. She's never gonna have any kind of boyfriend as long as she lives in my house Do you ever want to get married? I've never do you said you didn't want to have kids? We know that's off the docket because you hate children. I don't know about marriage. Also. Yeah, it's a scam She's flirting with guys on um her um. No. Yeah, she is no. I don't want to hear it On what on instagram on she some direct message on instant. Oh, what you gonna betray me? I can't betray you No, I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She's flirting with two guys. What are their names again? Well, we don't need to know their names. What's going on? Look at her face look at her face now look at her face

And she's texting them back and forth love love texas. Is this really going on route? Kinda. Oh boy. See that I'm saying you might get your phone privileges revoked. Yeah, you keep that up But they have to get through me. I'm not gonna let her out of the house Have you met up with any boys? No because of covid, right? Yeah, that's kind of good then that she can't even see any of these idiots Oh, and also even if she does I'm going with her. Right She'll really you you think let's say the pandemic's over And then the way you're treating me like today, right? You think you're gonna know I'm gonna go. That's fine with it. Yeah, but I'm not we're two different people

I'm gonna go with you. What movies do you guys want to watch tonight? Oh, you want to watch that romantic thing with ryan gosselin the dance my number? You mean dancing in atlanta Is that a movie? I don't know dancing in a laugh. Whatever it's something that he would do, right? I'll go you guys want to go to fud ruckers Oh, that's still open delicious. There's one in burbank. I love it. There is. Yeah, I thought they all closed down There's a spaghetti factory too in uh at west covena spaghetti factory. Let's forget if actually but um, I'm going to go with you Yeah, you are how you're gonna leave What if I don't tell you? Oh Oh, so it's friday night

Right. You're you're putting makeup on your face and putting glitter on your whatever fucking young girls do glitter. Yeah Yeah, yeah patchy the glitter on her face. You know what I mean glitter patch. I look like a fucking, you know, um fairy whatever I'm a fairy That's what they do. Right. What they do, right? They put the lips. Oh my lips. You know what I mean? They need to be shiny and colorful. I'm a fairy with puckered lips, right? She puts on her jam jams on whatever they fucking call them jam jams Yeah, yeah, yeah, she puts on her fucking uggs. Oh uggs. Yeah uggs, right? Right and get your toes done

And then and then I'm like and then she's like I'm Bye I go and I'll go. You know when you say bye, you know, I'll say bye To kalilah because we're both leaving Right, so I'll drive you can drive whatever but I'm fucking going Okay, okay That's how it goes kid You don't have a choice. You don't have a choice. Well, also, you know, it also you have to it has clearance over where you guys are going

Because she's 18 what you're 18 19 you're 19 in american years, but that's like 15 in filipino No, no, she's 19 in filipino years, but that's like 15 in american years Right, I don't know if she likes that but it makes perfect sense to me But you gotta you have you're gonna be controlled for sure. Bobby's gonna have to go with you. In fact, how about this? Bob can go on the date with you guys We have george has to come film it. Do you want to come? Can I come you should come? Let's go on a date for all four of us me. It's a double date. Let's do triple. Let's bring kalahlan

Your wife. Okay. Do you want to do that? Yeah, then all three of us go on a date all three of us. What's wrong with that? That way that way we we're not going to go to like fucking um Some shitty hamburger spot You can come but you can sit No, no, no, you don't tell us where to sit this way. We can go. Hey, you want to go to mortons Steakhouse, you have me or you want to go to palms like some more nice boa Let's go to boa steakhouse. You want to go to bow and get a steak, right? Okay, we bring up you pick up your mechanic friend

Freddy whatever his name. What's the mechanic's name? You don't have to say no say his name. We'll bleep it out Oh, we'll bleep it. We'll bleep it freddy. No, that's not his name. It's freddy. No, it's not I told you it's freddy freddy. Okay, so we pick up freddy. We're not back. We're leaving that in. We're leaving in it Yeah, no, no, we're leaving it and we we pick up freddy. Yeah at the fucking, you know gas station Right, right and then get in kid. Yeah, and he's like wiping his hand with grease, right? Yeah Throws the fucking rag down. Hey, hey, my dad takes off his onesie. His dad always works there too, right? Yeah His dad's like, right. Well, he says buying his dad's like fuck you. I love you dad

He gets in the car, right? And then we go to a nice restaurant And then um, we can grill the fuck out of him. Yeah, we can find out all we need to know about this guy. Yeah So, uh, what do you google in pornhub? He's like, um I don't watch pornography, sir. Then that's good liar though. He's a liar. Give us your phone. Yeah. Oh, that's true Well, I want to go through his phone. I want to see how many other girls. He's texting. I want to see what a safari search history is Right. Yeah, I also want to see I also want a little deep dive and to see if there's any protected folders on his phone You know what I would also do is I would bring up my medical gear

Right and go to the bathroom and go let me see it. What about your penis now and just see if there's any bumps or any Wait, wait All right, I would do it all right right the dick Look look and my I might even do this just for just for a laugh. I would do this Just for a giggle. We're going on a trip. We're going and we're gonna meet Freddy. Are you into it? No, good. Yeah, I know you but you're that's gonna happen because you're not Going to go into some guy's car and the next thing you know, it's three in the morning

You're right. We can't get a whole of you young Filipino girl goes missing in LA Yeah, and then it's like it's like in the Freddy like the next day is working at the mechanic store No, he's he's gone. They took off. We go we'll go back to them. We'll go back to the gas station He quit he and his dad and his dad who Freddy. Yeah, no he left years ago Oh Shit, it's a ghost Right, well, where can we find him? He's like I think he went to one of them farms Faye way up in vasalia. That's right because when I was checking his sack, right?

My hands went through the sack. It was like a paranormal fucking Yeah, so then we go up to the farm in vasalia. We go to the far if I say we'll go to the farm in vasalia Yeah, and and where is he? In the kitchen his back turned to us. Yeah, and we all walk in and Freddy And you ask isn't it say Freddy who am I playing you your Bobby? Yeah, I'm me Freddy Freddy Freddy Call his name Freddy I mean act like you're in the scene with us Freddy

You know what if it was something scary where it's like, um We can't ever find her right? Yeah, she's missing. She goes missing right and then they find her like in a tomb in Egypt Rudy. Yeah, wow like she's in a cat tomb. Well, you know how they the pharaohs. Yeah, they well they found Yeah, they find you know what I mean Juliana right with the with the ears right in a cat tomb like this And they say she's been dead for 3 000 years or whatever 4 000 years

That wouldn't surprise me and then and then the water. What is she now to us? Oh, right. We don't know see she's a prophet from another from another dimension That'd be scary if I if this if our show if bad friends was a murder mystery movie Who gets killed first? Well, the the premise of the thing would be jules dead Jules is dead. Yeah, because if we did a real movie she first of all, I don't think she would want to act in it She's a good actor. I know, but she doesn't want it like whenever we go like I go like Sing for me or look at her face. She doesn't like singing. Do you know how many comments?

We got about us making a band that we had a you know the make then we when we sung I know many people said that they you're a great singer and they loved it. Yeah. No, I didn't see so many people Yeah, and if we did a band, right, you would be the lead singer. You didn't know that No, yeah, yeah, you would you would sing something for us, please please my throat hurts No, no, it doesn't drink some of that It'll clear it right out Yeah, but I think um, so if we did a show about a murder but she would have to be dead So then she could play a dead girl, right? Right, right. She could just you know

Whatever Do you think Andres if we're if we were a murder mystery George is the neighbor the creepy neighbor Andres is uh, he's got to be someone that works on the farm for us Well, also Andres is also the mystery guy. Andres is the guy in the movie, right? Where the whole audience suspects he does it. Yeah, right? But he's not the guy and he's also the guy that gives us valid information at the end of the movie, right? It's like an Aaron Brockovich

Do you remember Eric Brock? I love this move. I love the very far back. We've seen a thousand times where that one character was like Really creepy was would like show up hang out like kind of see they wanted you to not like it And then he had all the information right that character. Yeah, that's that's Andres. That's Andres except with a little latin flair. All right Andres, do you prefer to be called latin ex? No Because what is I'm asking I'm being serious. Is is latino offensive?

I don't think so. I mean everybody's very concerned now about that stuff, but I I'm also not latino I think latino means latin american. Yeah, that's where you are to us. Okay. Then yes, then I'm latin. Thank you Yeah, what would you think you were your european? You're not you're not you're south of the border, bud Yeah, your taco bell to us. Yeah, you're below the equator for sure. All right Yeah, you know that right? Yeah, I wonder how many people really take offense to any of that stuff. Hey, uh, Andres Yeah, be honest with you me Not you

But do just be honest with me Do do spanish people just have a general like feeling that they're better than mexicans? Of course Think about it first Christ, are you spanish x? It's like british to americans, you know Oh, fuck you. We threw them out of here. We won that war. We won, dude Fuck an egg. We want our independence and we got our own country. Okay, so it's big Why do you why do you hate? Mexican so much not you but just your no, no, no him. He does. I know. Why do you not like them?

Ah Dude, it's so funny because you and I you and I get in the hot seat every week. We say something stupid Yeah, now it's time for him to make a right. Just make a listen People like to hear people love this podcast because we express our point of view and it's stupid as it may be dumb Yeah, right. That's what's great about this pocket. I just say dumb things and I don't even know what I'm saying But I just do it because this is who I am. Well, just for fun. I'm trying to tell us be authentically you They mess up the language a lot, you know, oh, they mess up And that's annoying to you, isn't it annoying? Yeah, what about their fashion?

Yeah, they're not as fashionable Well, you don't like it. It's okay. Yeah, so let me tell you something andres, you know, but just before we get into that is Hispanic people especially in like Because the only um, Mexico that I've seen I've never been to Mexico City resort Mexico. You've been to some but I've also mainly been to Juarez and Tijuana right across the border and I love I have every Mexican dude That I've seen like older Mexican do walking around Tijuana. I've wanted to buy their jeans They have great jeans what they're wearing because they're so weathered right and right from from working Yeah, but they're being you know, I mean I buy shit like that because I'm being ironic

Ironically hip, you know about it, right? But I want to buy their you know, I mean jeans because it's but they don't have no idea That they look cool Well, they look right you like it because it looks like they're putting effort. This is something so gross just now It was but it's okay. I'm being honest. You're being honest and it's fine. I get it Andres, yeah in your apartment that you're in right now Yeah, let's say a Mexican couple moves in next door You got beef already with them or no? Yeah, absolutely. Wow Wow, I'm telling them to put the music down

Andres if he comes over Yeah, and he introduces himself Are you are you going to be polite and nice? Are you gonna automatically give him a little bit of shit? Yeah, totally polite and nice He's here. He's here. Mr. My name is Javier. Mr. My name is Javier. I'm your new neighbor. I don't speak English Oh, excuse me. You are speaking English right now. Oh, sorry. I don't speak Spanish. Oh Oh, why why why the adequate sir? um

look I'm tired of you know, your food your music your loud This is so racist Andres has showed us true colors. Oh my god. He hates maxi. He hates them. Wow. I didn't know there was that much beef Yeah, there is some beef there. Look. I'm tired of your music. He says. Yeah, your food your food The food is the best. You don't like mexican three times a week. I eat it andres. Do you not like Mexican food? For real? No, I love it. Oh, you do Okay, I also love the music. No, I know you do. All right. The good good character. I like the bit. Good. I like the good andres

Good bit. Yeah, yeah Does your now is your is your wife racist at all? Absolutely. She's from the south. She's from the south. She's from the south So there's a difference between like the north and the south of spain. No, she's from the south of the u.s. Dude, she's from here His wife is one of us Wait, wait Your wife put it in reverse if you're gonna go back That's how I'm just that's how I do it. No, you eat means you stopped

Oh, that's true. I don't use the wrong. Yeah But let me just do my sound effect. All right, do yours. Wait a second Eat Right So your your wife is mexican. No, no, she's white. It's just from america. Is she white? Yes, he doesn't like to say it. Oh, he doesn't because in case his family hears that they're disappointed She's white. She's white. I see his family doesn't like it that his wife is white Are you being real? Yeah, bothers them

They who do they want them to see someone like him, but he's white kind of he's close. Yeah Do they know her name at least? No, they don't know they don't he hasn't revealed anything Wait, wait, they don't even know you're dating anybody No, well, you're married to her, right? What did you tell your family? Her name was maria, you know, it's maria And you're married to her, right? Yes, and they never to the they didn't go to the wedding. No, they didn't Why how do you do that? Well, we just run to the they went to the courthouse And so when are you going to tell your parents? Oof in a couple years, maybe when there's uh, you know when they're close to dying

Wait, wait, wait, wait. So maria your wife has never met your parents, right and your parents. They don't miss you not really We wait so you're how many kids this is very interesting to me. Can I just ask you some questions? Absolutely So you grew up with a mom and a dad, correct? Yes. They don't have mom and dads in spain Yes, more like an uncle and a nun. No, so your parents. What did your parents do for a living? Shoemakers Don't they all make shoes? Yes, fucks. Yeah. They just uh work at the university. Oh, so they're they're head. Yeah, they're very smart

So then how many siblings do you have? one Right. So, you know when you have parents and when you have kids you raise them Right, you don't and it's just odd to me that they wouldn't want to even have any kind of contact with you Right, so did something happen? Yeah, what happened? I married an american white girl And but they don't know about it. So how could that be a conflict yet? Well, I think my brother told them Uh, and so they're mad. Yeah, baby They said don't come back, you know, don't come back. They said don't come back, right?

Oh, that's heavy. That's fucking heavy and bullshit. What kind of what part of the country is your wife from the south You know the bad part. No, no, no, what state? South, carolina. Oh You married a red man I mean, that's what it was No, you know, it's so funny. My cousin married a Yankee would have been fine if you married a girl from maybe I don't know Your cousin what my cousin married a vietnamese girl. She's a kind girl And um, my uncle aunt didn't go to the wedding Really? Yeah, because she was vietnamese shut up. I swear to god, what do they say? How do they justify that? They go?

We don't we don't we don't we don't we won't support it Yeah, it's it's funny. It's you know, I've had my brother and I have had to wear on our parents Over the years. Sure. Whereas if we didn't do that, my parents would have voted for trump. I think You know, I mean if I hadn't done that, I think my parents would be like, you know, if they saw a gay person They'd run across the street Really? Oh, yeah, I think that I think yeah, I think It's american kids were if you're an ethnic kid, you know with immigrant parents And they have a certain ideology. I think it's our job to fucking change it change it and cut away at all those things

Right now, you know before my dad died. They were all they loved all people. They they loved all, you know Genders that's because you influence and we influence them. It's like I I won't have it right any other way It's like who you're gonna vote for mckay. No Barak, so you just told them and they would do it, you know, I mean, so it's like, you know, you it's our jobs to do that I think well, it's your job to teach him to not hate. That's yeah. Yeah, and it's like so, um, I just um I don't I just think it's so fucking fucked up, man. They wouldn't go to the wet. I told you what happened. I told you, uh I was in a bar in philadelphia and I ordered bullet bourbon And I like drinking it. I just wanted to have a little bit

And the girl says we don't serve that here. Okay, real attitude like bullet bourbon. Yeah, and I was like, oh, okay I'll just take something else and she goes. Yeah, what what else I said, maybe knob. Do you have knob or something? Yeah Leaves comes back. She like slams it down and she goes, you know, they're homophobes The whole family is homophobic and this is a gay bar. You're in a gay neighborhood. I said, okay, I don't care I don't give a shit. I just wanted to have how would you know that anyway? Well, there was a guy sucking dick at the front door. No, how would you know that the The the the the liquor that you're you know, I mean, I know that was what I said. How the fuck would you know that? How could I know so I pick up my phone? I get on there one of those situations where I'm like, oh, this is why

The parent, you know, old white dude old white Kentucky come, you know that old family of bourbon the daughter's gay And she's the only one that's not in the in the company. It doesn't get any of the money from the company The father refused to support her marriage to her Oh, her girlfriend. So then that's why it had got I didn't know I never heard that fucking story before But I I was like that's a bummer. I also, you know, still gonna drink bullet bourbon. It's really good Yeah, I can I tell you something? I didn't how could I know I did an IBM commercial ones. Yeah, and they're racist No, but I booked the commercial and this I'm not gonna say who we still know who she is the casting director No, but she's a comic

I'm gonna say what is what time up the comic that's in the commercial. No, I somebody they people found out in the comedy community that I booked a IBM campaign sure And some girl came up to me. I can't believe you're doing that And I go, what do you mean making money? Yeah, she's like, no, you know IBM helped with Counting, you know, the Nazis They use some of their technology to count the numbers of the you know, I mean the Jews and stuff like really. Yeah That's a real story. Yeah. They had something to do with it like the algorithms of algorithms or something, right? And I go, oh Well, I'm still gonna get

Like I'm gonna get it. I'm not not gonna do it. You know, I mean that was a long time ago But I call bullshit anybody that says that stuff because you know that it's crazy. Well, how about this? Yeah, I work for Disney now Yeah, Walt Disney was like a known anti-Semite like out loud. Yeah. Yeah, like out loud. Yeah, so what are you saying all the people that work for Disney now? Should they all just quit their jobs? Well, you know, yeah, it is it is a story It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. It's a story. Well, you know, yeah, it is it is a 30,000 people. It's a lot. It's bullshit. Like I was watching apocalypto Yeah, and I like that movie, but I know that Mel Gibson is a little cuckoo, right? A little bit Little bit, right? I know how we feel there are certain things. So there is that question is like, should I be watching this?

He still gets jobs. That's true. That new Santa Claus movie looks good. It looks really good I'm not gonna watch it, but I might I might I just don't I don't think you can control any of that stuff I said that to Neil Brennan and I were talking one time about how like people were Remember when people deleted uber off their phone because the the ceo was was it uber or lift? It was uber the ceo was uh, what was it against gay marriage? It was something like that like they were get whatever and people were all right self-righteous like oh Fuck uber. I'm not gonna because they he donated to like a republican camp at some bullshit

But I was like how look at the irony that you're tweeting about deleting uber from your phone made by chinese slave kids Yeah, like how fucking justified are you these things are made by slave kids, dude? Yeah, so shut the fuck up I mean, I know like you think you're so self-righteous. It's so hard Everything you make is made by someone who's who's probably getting underpaid and overused Your shirt your jeans your car your everything we do This is all made by some a kid. It's hard. I mean, it's you know, it's a bummer, but it's made by kids over there Over there. Yeah, do you have any friends that worked in a clothing factory? No, do you know about them?

They don't have those in the philippines. It's not it's just thailand No, it's not just thailand. I feel like I've seen philippines on on stuff. Yep. There are there are but I don't feel like I never heard of like, you know, you didn't have a family friend who worked in a factory um Some of them. Yeah, what like what do they make china is a thing. Yeah china is too obvious I mean, they always outsource to like Like like philippines outsource to china the china outsources the philippines. Yeah To save even more money. Oh, it's cost way less to make it there

Yeah, china costs less for us This costs less for them and I don't even know what's below them But I think that philippines is a hub of like shady shit like in terms of like because I heard of um Just hear me out north korea Right. What are the great imports greatest country? Oh crystal methamphetamine North korea. Yeah, is that one of the biggest importers of crystal a lot a big a big Importer and this this is what I heard. Wait a minute Just let me tell you what I've heard. Okay, and then you can you know make question. I'll pick it apart pick it apart

So that I heard that korea had has a lot of crystal methamphetamine factories And they don't feed This is what I heard They don't feed their employees or the people that work there. They feed them with pay them with crystal math So they work harder. Yeah smart. All right. So then they ship the crystal math This mass amounts of it To the philippines at like they're they're harbor and that's where they you know me They you know, they they section it off. This goes. It's gonna go to america. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What do you what do you know about that?

Um, have you heard of anything like that? No, but I think that might be kind of true because the philippines there's um a big war on drugs So how many isn't isn't drugs in the philippines like really illegal? Yeah, really illegal. You could die right that he like they can kill you Yeah, you can they beat you to death if you have shoot you in the streets. They shoot you. Yeah Government can do anything. So can they what wouldn't when I see they've beaten beaten someone to death for committing a crime Who gets beat to death? What do you have to do to get beat to death? um If you if you're suspected on like having drugs or selling drugs

They can beat you to death. Yeah It's crazy marijuana. Yeah. Yeah, we marijuana. It's illegal there. It's illegal How do you do this do people smoke weed there? Yeah, they have to hide Like in the back or in the like jungle hide in the jungle which makes sense I guess it's hot it's hot and humid and the cops aren't gonna go in there They're not they'll beat you to death for smoking weed Yeah, I just shoot you or they just shoot you. Yeah, do the cops they just shoot people sometimes and people just are like, okay Yeah, that's why the people are very scared. Well, you know shit. Well, it's like in thailand

I you know the rules in thailand. Well, did I ever tell you about thailand what like if you're watching a movie in thailand Yeah, they show a 20 minute movie about the king Oh, yeah beforehand and you have to stand Yeah, and you have to watch that before they get to see the movie. You have to stand and salute it Right that's in thailand. Yeah, it sounds like north korea. No And then when you're walking down the street at like 6 p.m They have all these speakers in thailand And a music starts playing

Propaganda right and you have to freeze Right until the music's done and then you can move on Did they want you to like but this is I this is what I did because I you know I was there with a bunch of actors and stuff from australia. Yeah, so we would be walking in the park And the people would freeze and I would do this For like 12 minutes, right? And then when the music stopped, I would see how long I could stay in this position For like 45 minutes. I would do it to make people laugh Wait, what is what's coming out of the speaker like some music and some propaganda about the canyon? Yeah

And also there's statues of the king, right? Yeah, and I would do stuff like to piss like I would just piss off Like the production like we would see it and I would spit on the I would take a government and just spit it at the king. You could get me bad Can they hurt you for that? Yeah, I think I'm ahead you for it. What? Yeah. Yeah Wait, didn't the thai king just come out after like 20 years in hiding? Wasn't that a news story that just I don't know. I don't know much about history. I didn't just tell you the rules No, no, no, I'm saying he like tell you the rules man. He never makes appearances. Yeah, apparently he just made an appearance Thank you for being a bad friend