Bad Friends - The Magic Lick

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

For more exclusive content and ad-free early episodes go to patreon.com/badfriends Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: HelloFresh, Displate, BespokePost • HelloFresh: Go to https://www.HelloFresh.com/badfriendsfree and use code badfriendsfree for free breakfast for life! • Go to https://DISPLATE.COM/BADFRIENDS and use code BADFRIENDS at the checkout to get - 23% off for 1 to 2 Displates or 34% off for 3 and more Displates. Displate, collect your passions!  • BespokePost: GET 20% off 1st box of awesome at https://www.bespokepost.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Bobby Addresses His Shocking Halloween Surprise 2:13 Bobby On The Box of the Invisible Content 7:52 One Piece & Rudy's New Love 15:27 The Most Horrifying Funny Story You'll Hear 22:19 The Reason Rudy Is Going Crazy 28:45 Rudy Is the Filipino Theo Von 39:38 Santino's Road Rage  45:21 What Bobby's High School Career Advisor Told Him To Do with His Life 54:13 Bobby's $50 Bottle of Water  More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carlos, you know, I've known you for a long time and I thought that I trusted you. And then Andreas, I mean, you look like a guy that doesn't prank and that is an honest one as well. And when you guys shocked me during the Hollywood, Halloween episode, it was a real betrayal. And I, and you guys mocked me still. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because when I came here today, you still had the shock collar on the table just to make fun Not funny. That was not funny. That was not funny at all

And I was being real like you're lucky over job. Yeah, we apologize. No, you didn't know where we're apologizing Well, they're doing it now. Yeah, you're doing it now. Yeah, well, let's see Rudy. Do you accept the apology from these guys? Was it really painful? It was this here's what they told me that it was fake. And so you're not anticipating it. So you're completely relaxed. And then when it hits you like that, it hurts, but it hurts your soul.

I bet it's kind of shocking to get something like that. To hate you like that. Traumatic to my neck. It wakes you up. Yeah, it's like my neck. Neck. That's what I want. And you can say that. You can't cut that. You don't have to cut that out. Sorry for.

Yeah. You did. You did that. And you know, and these and my next it. No. Sorry, Bob. Yeah. You tell us ones that you would do anything for comedy. So we thought a long winded not a real apology, yeah. No, no. Oh, it's my fault. No, no. Yeah, dude.

Oh my god. What a twist. He put it on you. It's my fault. I hit you because you made me. No, I would hit you because you make me hit you. That's what it is, right? I don't want to hit you.

I hit you, but your eyes and your face make me want to. Oh, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm sorry, Bobby. You didn't deserve it. That's right. Yeah, I can make fun of you, dude. I know. I know that.

I mean, there's all the things I look at your face and everything about you. I have things I can say. Yeah, but I don't, I hold my tongue. You do, right? It's so good, yeah. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots.

Woo, I did an Asian deal. You two are disgusting. So good. Yeah Bad friends wait is this the real invisible candy that we're talking about? This is what we're talking about That's right. I'm on the box. Look at you on the package and I remember it does come with stickers. Yeah, it's pretty cool Yeah, do you know we have one of these? Yeah, I they're way better than the white Lotus What I'm a what do you know the song? Both 10 right Nice candy nice. I like both 10 nice candy. Is this what you have back in the old country? Get in the hall. I never see the Americans up a car and get in the hall

We're gonna build a trail boom boom boom because the sound at the bombs boom boom boom goes a sound of the bomb Right one. I'm about to I got to open it up Welcome back to the bad friends podcast where we're trying out some brand new Botan rice candy Oh my god Carlos this won't interest anybody except for you and me, but Dwight Howard. Oh, yeah Since Bobby do you know who this is? Oh yeah, dude, that one the same Taylor Swift. That's exactly right. The football player.

Dwight Howard is a famous NBA player who got caught. He got caught hook and up with a dudesy-dudesy. And that's not a problem. That's okay. That's not the first time. That's okay. But he's got allegations that it wasn't okay, that the guy wasn't in, you know, it's an essay.

We'll wait. It's an essay, it's an assault. So he assaults another man. Yes. How does it, how do you eat their upper? You eat it. What you eat the, so you eat, this is how you eat this, the whole thing.

It's so good. Promise? It's what it got. It melts in your mouth. Does everyone do this? Yes. Mm. Mm, cool.

Why are you, why are you facing like that? Oh, this is good. No, no, no. Why are you face like that? Oh, this is good. No, honestly, you don't like it. Oh, man. Do I get it? There's no flavor. Yeah, I'm pretty. There's no flavor.

What the fuck, you're talking about? You mean, sweet isn't a flavor? I don't taste the sweet. Well, it's like, you just, you know, nothing. It's a pretty flavorless. All right, let's not chew into the mouth. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. No, stick it in your mouth.

No, finish it. It's so gross. No, finish it. Finish it. The paper, put the paper in your mouth. Finish it. Yeah. Finish it.

Mm, cotton. Bob and I had dinner last night. The most depressing dinner ever. It was a fun dinner with a good friend and an old friend. It was fucking depressing. We had a very good time. Good friend though, good friend depressing. And you had tuna tartar.

I had stomach aches. I hate that place. Really? Yeah, my tummy hurt. It was terrible. Well, maybe because of the cream. Yeah, you did drink a lot. I drank a lot of cream.

Guys, a cream. The lactose intolerant. Cream drinker. I love the cream. I'm not just a tolerant. Cream drinker. I love the cream. But my point is that my Tommy star hurting and then I laughed, but it was fine. Didn't you enjoy the experience with an old friend? I love him because he's an old friend.

An old friend. He's nice to see old friends. Do you have any old friends, Carlos? It's when I see you guys. Yeah, no. But Andrew though is like, you know, that you see a show like 30 something And what what are you talking about? I'm not a sitcom from 95

I this is can I just say something yeah when you're in that setting you cross your legs like this He does and he like he's like a normal guy like you know me and so So how's your week's been you know how how you feeling he's like a normal guy like you know mean so So how's your week's been you know how you feeling he's like a normal guy he goes into normal Yeah, but me I'm still I'm the guy that I'm like where's the cream? Yeah, I want my right order cream, you know, you know, I'm crazy, you know, but he's like You know he he's dressed nice. Yeah, he looks like a normal all-american man We went out to a nice dinner. You should have dressed up a little bit It was a nice restaurant. I didn't know it sounded like a hot dog joint. It is a hot dog joint

It's a nice high-end hot dog joint. Uh-oh hot dogs presented by my Yeah, but it was a nice dinner the valet. That was nice value right by my house, which is I never heard of it You couldn't be closer to your house and then I went to the store and I had a poo between fucking shows. It was terrible. Have you pooed in the main room, Green Room? Every time I'm in there. There's no door. It's two swinging saloon doors. I know. And that's why I like it.

It's so wet. I love showcasing. You do? No, I tell... So there's two parts of the Green Room. There's like where people lounge, you've been in there. And then there's a door. So whenever I'm in there, I'm like, hey, I tell everyone, I wanna take a shit, don't go in here.

You announce. I make a noise. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- this again. Are you sure you eat the outside of this? Didn't it melt in your mouth? No. I feel like it's in my teeth. Yeah, it melt in your mouth. Can I say something about your poo tea to Bobby? No, please. No, no, you may not actually. I'll say it. Okay, go ahead. But let me say something. I have beef in my car. What do I have in my car? Butcherbox. Yeah, butcherbox. A lot of meat. A lot of meat. Yeah, you want the meat right watch what you say, okay Every time I clean your toilet There's so much pool stains. We'll be right back We'll make you think yeah, thank you guys. Yeah, you're right back. There's so much of pool stains

Yeah, and they're like so sticky. You can't take it off. Oh, you're your poo's dry You have right food. No, your poo is dry. No. You have dry poo? No, I usually don't have so much stains. And they're so sticky. I call that poo shrapnel. I have to brush it for like 30 minutes. Good. It's on purpose.

It's on purpose. I don't understand why it's so sticky. He pushes harder. When it shoots out, why do we always have to talk about poo? It's good off of him. Yeah, but can I say something? It's the cream. And I got to cut down on the cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What have you been doing, Rudy? I've been watching one piece non-stop. Love one piece. Two pieces better though. What? I don't know. Anime. One piece? Yeah, yeah.

No mistake. Let me see it. One piece anime, two piece mini me What are we talking about? Yeah, so this is it welcome to one piece Look at the front easy even go one piece It's a bunch of pirates and I've been and the one the right is that Pinocchio knows you're telling me all these people are pirates? Yeah. Yeah.

But is the guy with the long nose? Is he a liar? Yeah, he's a liar, the biggest liar. Because of his Pinocchio then. Oh, I didn't notice that. Do you know Pinocchio? Yeah. What do you mean?

I never realized that. The guy with the long nose. What do you mean? When he cuts a lie does his nose grow? No, it doesn't grow but it's a lot. He's lied so much. It's at his peak. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't realize. What's the story of one piece? Can we guess? OK, go. So the guy with the nose, right? He's not the main character. I understand, but he's on the poster.

OK, OK, OK. Right? So he's like, you know, a series regular. OK, go. He had to audition, probably test. Right, he probably had a test. I think they run a train on that girl on the left, and the guy with the nose used to be the king,

but now this guy with his big dick finger is in the lead. Dude, that's where I'm, yeah. That's the head guy. Well, she was, she met the guy with the long nose first. Yeah, of course. And she's like, oh, this is the guy. I want to sit on your face. Yeah, and he has got the, his nose is bigger than any dick I've ever had. It looks like that. But then she runs into the ring, of course. And she's like, oh, this is the guy. I want to sit on your face. Yeah, and he has got the, his nose is bigger

than any dick I've ever had. It looks like that. But then she runs into the ring, the finger, the monster finger. Monster finger. And now the guy in the long nose is like, look at his hand, he's like, what about that nose? He's trying to make it look, it's big, isn't it?

Yeah, you should, yeah, yeah. And he's like, no, but my finger's bigger. And she, look at her, how happy she is. She's stoked. And the two guys in the back are just mafia bosses What they look like mafia. Yeah, yeah, the one with the green hair is so hot zoom in what do you mean when you say skip hot what it's hot about him. Yeah, that guy's hot He barely has any facial features

That guy no Good picture. He has no nose. No, no, no. Okay, just do zero one piece. That's his name, Zorro. Do you flick your bean to the stuff? Do you strum the guitar to this? Yeah. Look, look. That guy's hot. Oh my God. I'm so confused. It's so stupid. You don't wait because he has two abs and two abs. Only two abs. Look at that.

He's got a two-pack. The scars. A scar on his face. Look at how big his mouth is. Yeah. Huge teeth. But he uses three swords. I mean, this is Downsy Downsy Downsy.

Oh, that's a live action version. Live action? Yeah. Wait, you don't like that. You like the animation more than the real guy. Animation. Is there anything for me? Can I be the long nose?

Oh, you look up. Nami. Yeah, this is what I went out just for Nami. Oh, that's the photo. That's not. Yeah, whoa. Oh, so that's why you like them. Right.

What is it? No, Pete. Is it not's why you like them. Right. What is it? No, Pete, is it not Zorro? Stop faking it. What is, I've never seen that before. Look at that peanut, oh, zoom it on the peanut. That's the piece in one piece. Yeah. Oh, that's the piece.

Oh, look at, oh. So much cream. So much cream. My stomach hurts right now. Just by looking at that. So one piece is your, this is your, this is your everything. My everything right now. What is it about though?

Because I think we're probably wrong. It's, you know, that guy with the big finger. Yeah, yeah. He's the captain and he wants to be the king of the pirates. And to be the king of the pirates is to be the strongest and to be the most powerful. And so they go on a lot of adventures together and you just see so many like characters

and different powers because he ate a devil fruit and he's a rubber guy. And so he can like, he can like, he can like, he can be, he ate devil fruit and now he's the rubber guy. Yeah. I think I'm gonna go home. What are you talking about? Yeah. None of these people look like, And now he's the rubber guy. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go home

What are you talking about? Yeah, none of these people look like I'm the anime studio you pitch me the show Okay, check this out. Well, what about the character? Okay, so the characters you're in love so there so the show is called one piece One piece is what they look who's shut up with my assistant. Sorry. It's my driver Oh, you're you have to buy a tie up because sorry loud mouth. So it's called John. Thank for coming here. Thank you. It's called tell me about one piece What is the bomb and there's five pirates six pirates? Okay, I'm six six pirates five or six one of six one of one of one of whom is the leader and he's got a boom Let me ask he's got a this I love the photo. Thank you. The little guy right there, what is that? That's you, sir.

It's a reindeer. Oh, that me. Yeah, we did it. And you're fully cleaning me. Yeah, we incorporated it into the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's time out. But that's a reindeer.

Uh-huh. And he also ate a zebra fruit so he can go half, you can have animal. Who is this? Your assistant? My driver. Yeah, Taro, shop walk up. You can't, please, sir.

It's just a wee shop walk up. But I know one fuse. You don't know the show. Hold on, she crazed. She's crazy. No, she created. She's crazy. Oh, she crazed. Oh, I said, yeah, and you continue. And so you see the woman on the right with the big tits. Which one? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the orange, the red head. I knew you'd get it. That's me. That you that you that you that's who I really want. Yeah, I see yeah, the orange, the redhead. I knew you'd get it. That's me. That's who I really want. Yeah, I see.

And two per two. Can I ask you say, yeah, just do the transition. Why would we create a show? If we sell the show, I'm gonna have the money to do it. Oh, just like there was Towski brought that. That's right. And two people to the right is you, sir, and the yellow there.

That is a depiction of you. The little one. That's the little one with me. Well, that's just for, that's you in the game, but you in our brain is the guy on the far right. Oh, thank you. And then who is the gay guy in the group? Can we cut him out?

In the green. In the green. I don't like that. That's Zozo. Zozo. Zozo. That's Zozo. I prefer Zozo.

It's Zozo. Yeah. The Zozo is hacky. Right. Zozo is a guy that exists. Dealing, right, stealing. Yeah, yeah. What about the woman, that look like my mom. She's an archeologist.

Mama, oh. Oh, yeah, you're really? You think that woman's digging up shit? Yeah. She wore a fucking big titted top and a raster to dig up the earth. Yeah, no tools. What an ill person.

She used your tittie to fucking deal. But she has powers where she can create more limbs. I'm so sick of this. What's a devil? This is pissing me off. Explain me devil fruit. It's, uh, it's what all the the Filipinos call their private parts. Oh, yeah, devil fruit.

Yeah, I've eaten devil fruit. I know you have. Oh yeah. Double fruit. Yeah. I've eaten double fruit. I know you have. It tastes like ballut. And then what is rubber man? What? Explain me rubber man. Oh, what is a rubber man?

Well, you said he ate the double fruit in the rubber man. Rubber man, yeah. A rubber man, do you have any friends that are into like glory holes? Oh, I have a wonderful man. In my company, we have a janitor. Okay, your name is Carlos. Oh yeah. He is goal. He used to work for a bad friend company. All right. Yeah. But then he said that and we're so many times. He did. Yeah. And he did

so many glory glory. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I know them. I've never seen them. But I know this guy. Go in. Glory. This guy loves all the time. He live in there. So that guy. What? That guy. Carlos. He's a rubber man. Oh, now it makes sense, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's a glory hole? Oh, fun. Well, we have something here. Let's see. This is a true story that happened this week. A girl. Yeah, girl and Amsterdam, a British girl was sucking a dick in a glory hole. And when she turned on some sort of light

at this really fancy glory hole, it was revealed that it was her dad. And we have a voice note from one of the friends. I wanna hear it. Okay, go ahead. All right, it's pretty good. To the story because I'm literally telling everyone it's so horrific.

So my friend, I'm meeting who I was with yesterday. She's got a mate called Ellie, who's in a house show in London. And Ellie shares with like a bunch of girls. And one of the girls was telling her she's just been on a Hindu to Amsterdam, where the stag in the hen went at the same time. I think they were just like a mixed social group who kind of like knew each other, but then the stag went one day and the hen one way and the hands went the other. For people that don't know stag do and hendu are bats or bats are at party. That's what that means.

Do you got super drunk and went into one of these boobs with like a glory hole and so a guy on the other side stuck his dick through so the girl was just drunk and started sucking him off but it was one of these ones apparently where like if like he pushes a button and the guy pushes a button on the other side they can kind of see who's on the other side like it makes it like transparent like a window so they can see and so being drunk she thought it would be hilarious to push his button just to see who cheap and sucking off. to see who cheap and suck enough. And so she pushes the button and looks up and it's her dad on the other side. I'll tell you how that makes,

I'll tell you where it could have in been worse. Imagine if you went to a glorio. Imagine a penis comes through. Right, it's your dead dead. It's my dead dead. It's my dead dead. He's dead. He's dead. Yeah. dead. He's dead.

Well, so before it was cold then, you know, your tongue gets stuck. Do I get some pull? Do you really think this happened? I don't know. This girl, but if I was the dad, do we know this girl? No. A glory hole, Rudy, is just a place where adults go and they put their genitals through a literal hole in the wall and they don't know who's on the other side and they get pleasure. What? It's something else. I'll socks it from the other side.

Yeah. In this scenario, there was a door, like a window thing. Yeah. And then they got to see each other. That's just scary. Carlos does it all the time. Yeah, and all the time. Yeah, and all the time.

She found the hole at a place called cuckoldplace.com. I guess that's like the name of a oh Carlos play dumb I guess that's a website that you've literally been to How did you get the story fuck face? Yeah? What would you do? What would you do? I mean it was your daughter? KMS you what I kill myself. Yeah, I'm on site or you make a deal Yeah, I'm in to deal with the devil just that moment when I put my dad No, you make a deal with your dad

Don't ever tell anybody know that's just that Very good by the way As pianist but Don't tell me let's not even just never happen. Okay, and then at that you know Christmas is weird He's gonna be drunk at a party and you're gonna fucking beat him in a game of scrabble Remember that time you suck my dick. Oh yeah. He's gonna do that every time. Oh yes. That's what dads do.

That's true. They were thinking that stuff. That's what they do. Like what would happen? I'd bleach my tongue and then kill myself. Yeah, you want to get it off the tongue first. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like gargle it.

What is it saying in your shirt? Property property of... It's another anime show. Hey, so are you, aren't you, are you gonna outgrow anime at some point? I don't think so. No, you'll do it forever. Forever.

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to get 23% off for one to two displays or 34% off for three or more displays. Display, collect your passions. What have you been doing in your life? I want to know what you've been doing. I've been taking a birth control and I've been going crazy. What the? What is going on? You've been taking a birth control?

Yeah, and I'm like going crazy. I'm like mad. I wanna kill someone. Why did you start taking birth control at 20 to 30? Because my acne, I don't even care about sex. It's just my acne that Tito Bobby bullies me every time. You don't have acne.

He's the one with the pimple patch on right now. Because I've been taking the first time. She doesn't have acne. I don't pull you. You're bullying me. Every time you see me. I go rock him out and hide. When I look at your face, I know that I do that,

but that's a joke. It's a joke. Wait a minute. So you're 22 years old now, right? 21. Okay, 21. When you turn 22? Next one.

Yeah, you're 22. Shut up. You're doing it too. I can't believe it. I remember you were in high school. I know. It was in the start of the show when she was in high school. That's incredible.

So you're 22 and you just started taking birth control. Who told you to do this? Your doctor? Yeah. Why? Because of my acne and then she said, oh, just take the new boring. It's like a small, they're always just shoving

medications. Is not funny how quick they are to just prescribe stuff. Why would you take it? Don't take it. Wait, it's this big. What are you talking about? The circle. And you just put it in your butthole. You're buying the butthole. That's right. Put mine. Oh, I put mine there. Yeah, put my new ring at my butthole. Yeah. So you put it in there. Yeah. And it just stays there for three weeks. And then I'm just, and you my bottle. Yeah, I said. So you put it in there. Yeah, and it just stays there for three weeks, and then I'm just...

And you're... I don't want to... Are you still seeing that guy? Yeah. How's that going? How's that going? Fine. We haven't... We haven't done it, but in like four months, so it's fine. Why?

Because I don't know, I'm just not... Four months? That is at 20. At 20 years old, I was spewing with semen. Yeah, yeah. I was dripping out of my eyeball. Oh, I was thinking about your guy. She is waiting for Sarah.

Yeah. If he died his hair green, would it be, yeah, tell your guy to die his head. No, I need the real Zorro. No, but why for my really four months? Yeah, I just don't like sex right now. Yeah, that's okay. I'm actually better off with that. Oh, with that, no, I like this.

Yeah. I mean, I like it. I like that you're not, but it's like, save yourself for marriage. Marriage. Whatever. No? Okay. I'm just right now. I'm not. No, I mean, save the... Save it for someone that you wanna...

Obviously, it sounds like you're gonna break up. Really? Yeah. What 21-year-old is... No. It's over. How are you hooking up with someone once every four months that you're dating?

It's over. Doesn't make sense. You know it's over, right? Yeah. I still like him. I like it, like... Yeah, you like hanging out with make sense. You know it's over, right? Yeah. I still like him. I like it. Yeah, you like hanging out with him as a friend.

Yeah, no, not a friend. You're not a friend? Do you guys kiss still? Peck. But no tongue. No, I don't like it. This guy goes home and cries at night. Is that a generational thing?

No, some people don't want tongues in their mouth. Do you like tongue? Your tongue? No, you've tongue in my tongue. Yeah, yeah. I Your tongue? No, you've tongue my tongue. Yeah, I have. I kinda like it. Yeah, so my point is, you're doing your wife still tongue.

When you get married, there is moments for tongue kissing. But during the course of the day, oh, you don't, no, not during the day. No, but there's moments when tongue kissing is yeah, but it's not as frequent as it was when you're young. But you're still, you're still a, not opposed to it. No, I like it, but it's a situation dependent as it was when you're young. But you're still not opposed to it. No, I like it, but it's a situation dependent.

She doesn't like it. Okay, but it's the same thing as I don't like touching and like. Oh, intimacy. Like the key ingredients to having a relationship. Yeah, you don't like physical affirmation. No. You don't want him to touch you even like hug.

You don't like him. No, even when he does that,. I'm yeah, it's not good. It's dead. It's a dead thing. That's why you doing this with your eyes. I got it. I'm sweaty. I'm being honest. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think I'm not making a joke? Do you think maybe you don't like boys? I'm lesbian. I didn't say it. It's okay if you were. But do you think maybe you don't like boys? I don't know. Atikolayla thinks I'm a lesbian. That's because she's a lesbian. Like she keeps I really she is she dated you for the longest Well Sarah when I dated as soon as I you flipped so many women. Yes Sarah Highland I was dating for years and then when I we broke up she went with went and she never went back to men I am either fucking last

What was that movie where nobody can compete? What was the movie where every woman slept with a guy so they could get Married finally what was that called? Yeah, what was that called good luck Chuck? Yeah Your fuck your dang cook you're good You're a good luck Chuck buffer women. Wow fuck your dang cook. You're a good luck. You're a good luck Chuck. But for women. Wow. You've made two girls go to the other team.

I know. Maybe, honestly, maybe you don't like boys or maybe you don't like this boy, but maybe you don't like boys. Maybe. Maybe you don't like anybody. You could be what is asexual, right? Or no, is that right? Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah, maybe people don't interest you sexually and you just want to... I just like being like in their company, but not like touching or like physical. You sound like a guy. So you don't cuddle ever.

Like when we watch a movie, you don't go... Like I'm just like that and then he's there and then when he tries, I'm like no, okay, yeah, wow That must be heartbreaking. It's so hard. Yeah, he's gotta leave you how old is he? 21 oh god. Yeah, he's got to get out of this idiot wouldn't idiot. He's got to be heartbroken But I'm nice. It's just yeah, we know hey guy. You know who I'm talking to Break it up It's not working. It's not working. Yeah.

Find somebody else. So you think I... Why don't you just be single? Why are you in a relationship if you don't really like this guy so much? It's your family, dude. My family. Yeah, it's in the blood, dude. What are you doing?

I've dated your family. Staying with someone for too long. No, they're just like, you know, no. Yeah, I get it. Get out. Get out. Yeah. It's just weird, man.

I'll think about it. Talk, talk. You gotta get out. Talk, talk. Let me's weird man. I'll think about it. Talk talk you got to get out talk talk Let me tell you how much I love Filipinos my physical therapist is Filipino Love this guy Love love. He uses all those Filipino tricks of the trade that you guys have back there like what he hits me in the back with Little tiny like little sticks with bugs all over them. He says that's from the home country. That's what he says. And it's getting all the impurities out of my back. He licks my feet, which I think he said is a thing that they do in the Philippines. You lick feet?

Well, I had a cousin that he, they said that he had, she had like, saliva she would just like everyone and that it would feel so I did make my part up but it is so beautiful that yours was real you said someone who she's like a Filipino Theo Vaughan yeah yeah that's how money my village would lick the sickness right out of the ocean said that's I've never heard anything like that that's great you're I'm not so money my bitch. I'm not so money my bitch. Would lick the sickness right out of you. It's insane. I've never heard anything like that. That's great. You're saying the saliva was had magical powers?

Everyone thought that she had magical powers because every time she would lick, like something would like heal. Yeah, it would heal. Wow. It was like, like, there will be a real just close right up. That's insane.

So I've given it a different, I was like a broken arm. Yeah, yeah. Come over here. This is broke. Yeah. Whoa. That, that's insane. So I've get it. It was like a broken arm. Yeah, come over here That's what she did and you saw it first. Yeah. Have you been healed by her? No, no I remember my sister was like had a fever and she licked her for a fever and she licked her forehead. That's no way.

No, there's a way she did that. I'm not sure she did it, but. And the girl got healed from embarrassment. She was like, I'm okay now. Yeah, she could have died that night. She wouldn't have told anybody she saw embarrassed. Yeah, maybe it's psychological. Well, everyone thought so I believed it.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. My grandmother, yeah. How many people in your village had magical powers? My Lola, my grandma. Like you said with your physical therapist, he would... Hit me with bug sticks.

Not, she didn't use bugs. And I made that up. But... She used like leaves and stuff, and she would like put it on like the Woon yeah palm front like palm prawns. Yeah, that's not magical. That's not magical. That's ancient Chinese tech. Yeah There was this old lady who we thought was like a mananangal Well, we've had three of those are growing up. Yeah, I had three manangal girls growing up

I used to have a manangal underneath my balls Like a year and a half had to get it removed so expensive though What was it growing up? Yeah. I had three mononnguals growing up. I used to have a mononngual underneath my balls, like a year and a half had to get it removed. So expensive though. They're like $3,000 a month to rent one. It's a mystical creature. Exactly. Exactly.

And they're hard to find. Yeah, they really are. Yeah. So you thought someone in your village was a mononngual. Yeah, and then, they're like, you know where you can find a mononngual in the taint of a bigfoot?

That's right. That's where mononnguals are. Yeah, they cling on. Right? You know how you can find a monolongol in the taint of a bigfoot. That's right. That's from monolongol. Yeah, they cling on. Right? You know how like sometimes sharks, they have other fish in that clean their skin. That's what a monolongol does to a bigfoot. So that's how I got mine. I had a Loch Ness monster if you can find one.

Okay, I have another one. Yeah, I have another one. So they said that, okay, so there were like a bunch of like pregnant women in my village Yeah, and then they said that there was this Lady and old lady that would come at night and then she had like a really long time And then she would go to their room and would lick the baby What wait a minute wait Wait, so there was a thing? Were these women getting an abortion?

I don't know. And they blamed it on a long-tongued woman? Yeah, yeah. They were just shoving hangers up there. And we're just like, He has like a planned parenthood fucking. Yeah, I got it. That's what my grandma told me.

So that's what you're gonna miss out on women. Maybe she was related to the other lady with the tongue. The lick lady? The lick family. Yeah, yeah. One kill. One kill. One kill. So that's it you're on with that she would go down on women. Maybe she was related to the other lady with the tongue Yeah, the lick lady the lick lady the lick family the lick family. Yeah, yeah One kills one heels. I'm being bunglick Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, so she the the myth that I really this why I love the Philippines They have they believe they all believe that perhaps this woman could tongue could go inside of another woman

In the baby. Yeah, and they believe that Yeah, everybody believes that yeah, we were scared. Yeah, I was scared now You know, that's insane. Yeah, my mom was pregnant and I kept like I was so scared for her You're thinking that the long tongue was gonna come. Yeah, yeah, was now was the woman's name long tongue Is that a Filipino name long tongue? No, I don't know, I forgot her name. Something. Stick out your tongue, is your tongue long? Whoa!

That is a Lung Tong. That's a Lung Tong, dude. You could be it, you could have the thing. I do that. You'd kill babies with your tongue. It's so lunatic. Lick a baby, you lunatic. She blows like a...

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It must be... You're killing it. But I think what we learning is that Rudy needs to go through a serious unfortunate breakup and we can be there for you, but I do think you need to get you need to break up.

How are you gonna do it? No, I can't do it. Alright, Bobby is the kid, whatever his name is. Bobby's in breakup with him now. Hey, dude, how you going doing? Don't do that, Axis. That's what it sounds like. You want it to be real or not? whatever his name is Bobby said break up with him now. Hey, you how you going doing? Don't do that, Axis. That's what it sounds like.

You want it to be real or not? Yo, do what you doing? Does he call it a Jew? I don't know. Okay. Okay. Joey? Yeah, yeah.

What's up? It's me. You want to go watch a movie? No, let's talk. Oh shit. What do you want to talk about? Okay. But first about Connacid, do to talk about? Okay, but first of all, can I say something to you? Okay, the first time I ever saw you, it was like I

singing myself and being... or too loud. First of all, me first, me first. Can I say something first off? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going to tell you just something. I never felt loving, no, no, no. I never thought loving in my life. I didn't even know what love was until I met you. And then once I met you, I felt like I was at home. OK, done. Hold on, let me feel you. Let me feel you.

Because I wrote this down and I want to get this off my chest. Why are you seeing it now? Because I don't know. What a beautiful day. What a beautiful day. And today I had the courage to do it. All right. So I also want to tell you something.

It's like I would do anything for you. I would lay my life down for you. And it's so weird because we're not family or nothing like that. I wouldn't even do that with my own dad. But with you, I would die for you. Do you know why? I love you, your soul. Hey guys, I'm a Utacina pizza rose. Oh, thank you so much. I love you, your soul. Hey guys, I made you Tatsina pizza rolls.

Thank you so much, we love you. You love the Tatsichon pizza rolls. What? What are you guys talking about? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, tell me what you were going to say to me. I'm your mom. I don't know mom, you love,

you take the best for Pita Pita Pita rolls on the one hand. What did you want to say to my son? I thought this is private, you can go. Okay, I can stay. Now, my mom won't stay because remember I told you last night about how? Huh? Yeah, she doesn't give you head.

I know, aside from that. Okay. I said, yeah, she does not talk, no tongue work. No tongue work. Anyway, is it? Yeah, what is it? Tita, do you want to watch a movie? No. No.

I'm okay here. I will. Tell me what you're about to say to me. Okay, Joey. Yes, love of my life. So it's really, he really does love you. I love you, so it's my mom. Don't touch my mom.

I'm sorry, sorry. Okay, Joey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen. I'm listening. Love. Okay. Sweet love, gosh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, so sexy. I said, oh, my son, he will come. Yeah, when you tell him to stop. Okay, Joey, Joey, Joey. I'm about about to come right now Joey, that's be serious Yeah

I don't... I don't like you anymore I think Mom Do you have a mirror? Do you have a mirror at home? Wait Have you seen what your face looked like?

I didn't know Out of my house Mom, go get the shotgun Mom, go get the shotgun He's gonna kill you No, no, no No no, my thought I was the love of your life No, you are give me the gun mom. You got it. Thank you Oh, yay Confetti

You broke up with them. Yeah, and that's what's gonna happen. You want to do it though. I can tell yeah No, I don't want. Mm-hmm. I feel like I just want my own space right now. You guys don't live together. How many times a week do you see him? No, because we're classmates. So I see him every day.

At school. Every day. I see. Yeah. That's what fucks it up, I'll tell you. What class? Biology and chemistry. And you're not excited to see him?

No, because I just hate school. and so I hate him because I hate school Yeah, how much when you drive you have one year left Yeah, one year left one no, well when you drive the new park is it you said Are you it's not excited about everything anything Nothing is making you happy right now except one piece. Oh Zoro Zoro's the only thing you make you happy. Yeah, I've been binging it and I watch it like until 4 a.m Oh my god. That's all I like enjoy right now. She needs medicine. I have a question. Do you guys have road rage? I'm like, enjoy right now. She needs medicine. I have a question.

Do you guys have road rage? Be spoke post. You guys, I can't wait for the holidays because Be spoke post has a box of awesome and what it is, it's the best gives you can give anybody. You open up that box of awesome. This is the box of awesome right here.

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That's boxofawesome.com code. BadFriends for 20% off your first box. Boxofawesome.com code. BadFriends. I shot and killed a guy on the PCH. Yeah, remember that. It was hard. It was hard. Hard, hard, hard. And I got acquitted because guy on the PCH. Yeah remember that was hard hard

How hard and I and I got acquitted because it was self defense He tried to hit my car and I they pulled over a pullover 101 yeah, and then um those tragic, but it wasn't even you didn't even kill them though. You hit him over the pipe to But it wasn't even, you didn't even kill him though. You hit him over the pipe to when he three times, something like that, you know, 23, 24 times, but I got acquitted. So no, not really. I don't think I have it anymore because you know why?

Because it was his pipe. The other guy's pipe. There's a sense. He got it all the his hand. You and a self defense, he was swinging like this. What pipe? What's pipe? A metal pipe. Where What pipe what's pipe? A metal pipe

Sound the side of the road. How do they get the pipe? No, honestly, how do the pipe my friend my super good friend Mario my super friend Mario always has pipes on it But Okay, and then you get it Okay, and then you hit it 22 times 23 the sound of a pipe on someone's head is It's all I say it's called yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay, dude, but you know what was crazy? What what you were wearing in trial That skirt yeah, the skirt it was crazy I want to show my legs. Well, I think you were trying to do the transmitting thing. Well, there was a jury filled with LGBTQ plus people

who like to go to one. So smart. Yeah, you got to play to your crowd. Yeah, you dyed your hair purple. Right, it was incredible. We should dye my hair at least once. Yeah, do I have a road rage? You know what I do is I used to scream, right?

But then I realized there's nothing I can do if we pull over. So what I do is I used to scream, right? But then I realized there's nothing I can do if we pull over So what I do is I'll put my head down and I look at my jeans or my pants and I'll scream so they can't see my face You scream down. Yeah Yeah, that's I mean that's at least better than doing something. Yeah, I don't do it I just scream downward so they don't see me. Do you have road rage? I developed one. Why? Why?

Because I've been driving a lot, so I've been screaming and like whenever something happens, I just... BAAAHHHHH! I just do that! What? What? Where are you driving to? School? School will work and I'm just like... Fuck you! Do you never get recognized? mad pad friends at school? Sometimes like, like when I walk after work, sometimes there's like film students who say,

oh, are you Rudy? Yeah, what do you say? I say, oh yeah. And then what they say, and I say, oh, can I take a picture? I said, yeah, sure. And then I just run you run away. You take photos with them. Yeah, because they asked. Wow. Are there any hot guys that do it? No. No.

If you are fancy, I know our fans. There are great people. Film students. He said, huh? She said film students. They're serious, but she said hot guy. There's like, what hot, hot people don't like regular people like our show.

Yeah. But they're all beautiful. No, they're beautiful in their own way. Yeah, yeah. But they're not super models. We don't get super models. That's true. But you have anyone that's that you are attracted to that doesn't.

No. Any girls that probably know girls. No, no girls. It's all boys that recognize me. Yeah, yeah. It's always boys. It's always boys, yeah. It's always boys. It's always boys. Yeah. It's always boys.

And how does it feel though when that happened? Be real. I always get shy and I always look so ugly at school. Yeah. They ask for a picture and I'm just like, but do you feel popular though or no? No. Do you ever dress up or is this kind of always it? This is it. Yeah. I dig it.

You're allowed to do whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Feel free. The next're allowed to do whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Feel free. The next generation, I don't think people, I don't think like, do you think people will wear suits in like 20 years?

Do you think suits will still be a thing? Well, suits was a thing for hundreds of years. Not hundreds. Oh yeah, in the early 1800s, that suits. Their own versions of it. Yeah, different styles, right? Yeah. that suits their own versions of it. Yeah, different styles, right? There's been different styles of stuff. Yeah, I mean, but I don't think suits will keep going. I think we're at the end of the suit. You think so? I think so. Are we in the age of the sweats? Look,

when the age of the sweat, the age of sweats, the end of suit, COVID finish off menswear. That's an American thing though. What do you mean? That's what people dress the worst. Did have you seen European jeans with other little sparkles and little fucking, fucking stupid. Classy. The fuck you talking about?

We dress the worst. We're the epicenter of fashion. The fuck are you talking about? Yeah, but everything that the world likes, we did. Yeah, but you talking about? Yeah, but yeah, everything that everything that the world likes we did. Yeah, but you don't wear it. Yeah, we make it for you losers to buy. We know it. We tell our Chinese friends to make it for all you idiots to buy. No, could I could I say that America has the best restaurants? No, I could say that France probably has the best in terms of the best restaurants in the world. I don't know, I'd say we probably have the same.

But we still, we can compete. But with fashion, we beat everyone. We do all the shit. Because we're multicultural. So we have different kinds of fashion. Yeah, but here, for example, kids dress so bad at school. Like, that's the style is just... What do you make kids wear in Spain?

Yeah. I don't know. People just dress up a little more. Here's like, they wear pajamas. Because going to school is a big deal for you. Yeah, it's like the crocs and the pajamas. Yeah, but it's not a big deal for us. Right.

No, I'm also, they can't afford to dress up. She just spent 100 grand on school. Yeah. I think he has a skewed idea. Can I ask you about, I was at therapy yesterday. Yeah. And we were talking about high school. I think he has a skewed idea. Can I ask you about I was at therapy yesterday. Yeah. And we were talking about high school. And I asked her, I go, how do you feel about pure, not pure, not pure, cause of career counseling? So when I was a freshman, and so every

year actually, I would go in and every year, we would have to see this career counselor. And every year, they would go, yeah, just take wood shop Well, that's a good to me, right? It's actually good because my grades were terrible. I have no skill set, right? That's not true. No at the time, right? I knew that I had these, you know, powers You know, I'm not the licking powers to heal the sick but like, you know real human powers, right and like, you know, real human powers, right? And so all through high school, I thought, oh, I'm a loser. I have no other options.

Because all these other kids are like, oh, yeah, my career counselor said I should be at an attorney or an engineer or whatever, right? And I got wood shop and steel shop every fucking. Did you ever take wood? No, I refused to, but I also, my parents were like, no, no, wood. You can't do that.

Koreans are scared of wood. Yeah, yeah, the work is scared of wood, right?? Driftwood are you crazy? We're fucking PTSD nightmares about drift. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah anyway, um Fawding a tree. Oh my god. I can't sleep now for a week. All right. I pointed a four-rigged tree for three Four in the woods dreams. We'll recieve my whole family. Yeah Probably yeah, can you make anything by hand? Did you learn to make anything by hand? Can you so I would make I mean I can you so I can make like little sculptures with meth scabs I used to get these meth scabs when I used to math. Do you know? Do you know how to sew? No, I feel like that's in your blood a little bit

I'm sure I could fuck it up right I put you on in of a singer, so on machine, I bet you can fuck it. Yeah, you want some Nike stuff? I got it. But you know what sucks is they don't give you the other options in high school in America. Right. They don't go, okay, so you're funny. Like if they said, you know, I heard you're funny. What direction would they point you in?

And they're like, what about improv or comedy, but that's not even it's not an option. Right. When it can anything artistic is an option in American schools. Yeah, they don't go like they just say wait till you're done. You'll you'll be better off. But they never even said that. They're like, you would shot what does wood shot mean? Making stuff out of wood. I know, but it's like, that's my only future. There's a billion other things you can do, but they don't fucking. Bobby Lee the carpenter.

How fucking good. I would make fucking furs better than Jesus. He actually wasn't good at all. Some of his pieces are really bad. Yeah, they're like, I key up from back then. They're always missing one. Like, where's the Korganscruker? Like that gone, Jesus.

No, I get that. I ties schools tough because it's placing you in a very broad box of shit when you're like, I don't like any of that stuff. Yeah, I like if Asakira, as they said, you like to fuck, huh? You should be a porn star. Yeah.

Yeah, but now they might do that in schools. They might be like, look, only fans is right for you. Do that be that but that's a thing But they did I probably don't do it. Well, we should just like in my high school power high They don't view my fuck. Oh, they don't view what I do as a talent That's why I'm not in the Hall of Fame right and I agree with them In what way? Because are you in the Hall of fame in your school? No, why would I be?

I'm a fucking dick. Okay, what's your school? I'm not in the hall of fame. No, what's your school? What's your school? What's your school? What high school? Bartholomew boys.

Are you being real? Bartholomew boys. If you're not, I swear to God, Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Boys. School. Boys. You went to an old boy school? Yes. In what Chicago?

Chicago. Bartholomew school. That's what you want. Well, you're not lying. Okay, and then Andrew Santino. What high school did Andrew Santino go to he went to Napaville North high school You fucking like pieces shit dead hall of fame. I can't wait There's no hall of fame and yes, they do right here Napa okay There's no hall of fame in this. Yes, they do right here. Okay. North Athletics with the fuck. See athletes, it's all athletes.

Athletic, it's all athletics. Yeah. Yeah, again, what we do is in special. Okay, no, if you go to North, Naperville North High School, is that what it is? And you go to, it'll have it, athletics, notable alumni. Yeah, you're a notable alumni. Here we go.

So are you. You're a notable alumni. Let me ask you if you know any of these guys. Adrian Holavati. Oh God, I love Holavati. What do you do? He's a rocket scientist. No.

James Holthauer. James Holthauer's was the Jeopardy champion. Fuck yeah, dude. Well, everybody knows that. He was fucking like one of the best champions of all time. Yeah. Let's go to S. There we go. You're in it.

Oh yeah. He just a standup comedian. Yeah, but that's it. I've been like a hall of fame. I'm just a guy that went to school there. How does that feel to be on it? Bob Otter went to your school? Yeah, the Odin Curks, yeah.

Whoa dude. Bob that's cool. Yeah, pretty right. Yeah, the Odin Curks. Yeah. Whoa, dude. Uh huh. But that's cool. Yeah, pretty rough. Yeah, his is long comedian actor writer, director, and producer. A lot of a lot of stuff. He deserves it. Yeah. He's very talented. Okay, let me ask you who this is. Um, Laval Brown. Play football. Whoa, dude, that's fucking good. No, this is not that hard. Did you know? No, I mean. Can we go more? Try.

Paul Britain. He was on SNL. Yeah. Can I ask you why this, did you put on a pimple patch on the pimple on your chin? So what happened this last night? I put a pimple patch on. And then when I was driving here.

It looks worse. I know, when I was driving here. Just leave it as a pimple. When I was driving here. Yeah. I took off the patch. And it looks more noticeable because of the sweat. Stop, when I was driving here. Just leave it as a pimple. When I was driving here. Yeah. I took off the pad. And it looks more noticeable because of the sweat. Stop, stop, let me finish.

The sweaters yellow, your skin is yellow. Let me finish. The pimple is yellow and red. It's me and you on your face. I know. Let me finish. Yeah. So I was driving here, had the pimple patch from last night.

Well, you left it on, you can't, you're not supposed to leave it on for a whole day. But I did. Mm-hmm, good. You slept in it. Yeah, and I looked in the rear view window. That's mirror. Mirror. Mirror. Imagine if it was a window.

What? Yeah. What? Right. And I saw a white hat. Me. Just poking it. Yeah, so that I fucking peeled it.

Yeah. I popped it and it was oozing blood. So I took the fucking patch and I put it back in. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna get it. Me, just poking it. Yeah, so that I fucking peeled it. I popped it and it was oozing blood. Got all I left. So I took the fucking patch and I put it back on. No, it, that's, you're supposed to do it when it's dry

and not bleed it. And a damp, it did it, do the dam effect that I thought it was gonna do. Let me see. I mean, it just looks, it looks like a flooded pimple patch. Like it's a full diaper on your chin. Why do you still have pimples to wobble your 50? Two.

And you know what dude? That kind of took me. You're gonna get a lot of shit sprayed on the toilets this week. Yeah, yeah, you want sprays, hold on. Stop! Oh, it looks hilarious now. Now it's leaking. How much money?

Stop! Can I put this on you? No. Please. Can I put that on you? No. please can I put that on you? No 10 grand stop stop. I'll help him No, look it Well, it's your shit that That's not gonna bother anybody. You're doing fucking t-tinkin' this. Can I tell you, these pants?

What? These pants are fucking fun. Which pants? Go up to the front there. Show off your pants. Umpti your pockets. Empti your pockets first. Look at these slacks.

These are sexy. They're so tight. Let me see. Go forward a little bit so I can see more. Will you spin around for the camera? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk sexy they're so tight. Let me see go forward a little bit so I can see more. We've spent around for the camera. You are a little sex machine. Are these these are soccer pants aren't they? I really like them. I like when you were tight stuff. It turns me on.

I had a panic attack in line the other day, like a full on panic attack. What happened? I was going to order a salad and I was on the phone with the wife and she didn't know what she wanted but it was already my turn. And I was doing a build your own salad. And I was freaking out because she would change the order as I'm ordering it.

And the guy's like, no, no trick, please. Air one. Huh? Where were you? Air one? No, no, no, no. Air one? I've walked in there once I walked out.

Oh, hang out there all day long. I know you do. So people that don't know, air one is like an overtly pretentious, overpriced market. I bought that $50 water. Oh, you got that one? I still get it now. I get this little bottle like this $50 water. Why?

What is in it? I want to try water. Oxygen. Oh, it's oxygenated water? So good. No, it's not water. It's like, it's real. No, it's real.

I drink it and my, I get fizzy-eyed. Let me see. What is AirW one $50 water? Don't make fun of me. I'm just saying I know I'm gonna that's insane. It's 50 American dollars exactly the same as the woman who leaks babies and She probably started that company. That's not it. Not mind Valley No, I love it's $26 Zoom in I'll tell you what the brand is. Oh, that's $40. That bottle, the first bottle. Yeah.

That's it. Oh, for a $30. A $30 bottle of just a regular bottle of water. Yeah. What is it? It's oxygenated water. It's from the heavens. But it's a Wabi, you have a filter.

Shut the fuck up with the filter. Shut the fuck up with the filter. Every time you shut the fuck up with the filter, all right? Wait, go up, go up. This says nanopir, go up. This says nanopir. It's nanopir. Hyper-oxygenated and restructured.

It's, dude, we structure the water for your mouth. I can feel it in my body. It's like, it's going down different channels. What's H2O? What is H2O? Oxygen. Hydrogen. And water.

And aqua. Ox. Aquated. Okay. What could be re-engineered? Enfused with an unmasked level of bioavailable dissolved oxygen. 40 plus. Pee-pie.

Listen, humans get re-engineered now. What? Yeah, they do. I want to be a woman now. Trans people who trans. Yeah, that's, it's trans water. It's soaking it. Now do you can soak in it and drink it?

Do you drink it after you soak in it? They have a welcome spot. Dude, you need that. I need that. So bad. Yeah, get a quote. 30,000 dollars probably for that little. All right.

Whoa, a pool. Oh my God. A 40. It's your pool organically fresh, sanitized. All right. Totally saltwatering. All right. Can I say something? Okay. Why did we why did we get a four-hour water? No, no, but we had guests on we had are you garbage on?

E.O. and you got that face you want no, no, no, and we go we want you to see if there's a difference between the two waters And we did a taste test and did they We all said a four is number one. There's something about it when you drink it. I'm, your mouth goes. Ah. It's a Christmas. A breath of relief. Yeah. It's the best water, dude.

I don't believe that water can be that much better. Look at the Mexican, the Mexicans. Well, if they like it. Mexicans make it. Just like everything else, it turns out the Mexicans are American it you like good sushi It's not made it's great water. Yeah. Yeah, you like good water. It's Mexican. We you try it though. By the way We try it. It's Mexicans. I love Mexicans. No, I know they make everything. We you try it. No, I'm not buying it

I'm gonna buy you. I don't want $30 water. There's good reviews Andrew. Yeah, give me the room. Oh, there's good reviews $31, $30 water. This good reviews, Andrew. Yeah, give me the review. Oh, there's good reviews. Let me read, Carla. Oh, let me read Ashley. White and white people know their shit. Do not trust white people.

White people love water, dude, do they not? I don't, do we trust white people? White people? No. Inters a water, yes. No. Yeah, so here, this is what I asked. What do you mean white people?

White people. Aphorists simply the best water I've ever tasted. I am healing arts practitioner. The consumption of clean pure structured water is one of the most critical components of health. What is structured water? If you haven't tasted it, you don't even know. But when you drink it, you go,

oh my God, that's structured. I would recommend it all day long. I drink so much that- It's like drinking dirt water now. This. She goes, I drink so much that 10 pounds melted it away, but I was this is bot. This is generated. That's a fake That's a real people yeah, they should lost 10 pounds What's her name? What's her name? What's her name? What's her name?

Deb yeah, one's a name deb in a hundred fucking years every deb is dead. Give me more reviews Only two yeah Six total reviews of this bullshit Only two. Yeah. Six total reviews of this bullshit. Yeah. Go down to the bottom. I'll say this is the biggest crocus shit on earth.

Go down to the way bottom. Yeah. Right there. Dr. Jeff. Let me zoom in. I'm going to say what he says. And I'm going to say. For all four of my family's been drinking oxygen

in the water for the last year or my nine year olds. Hardly ever gets sick now. This is cockamini bullshit. It's so crazy. This guy's trying to pitch you that your water fucking makes you not get crazy You say that because I go suck on a COVID door now. I had COVID That's like the leaking lady is the same thing. You guys are so stupid. You know what I hate about you guys right now doing What what do you not like about us? I'll tell you what you don't like when coke one came out

Coke one. Yeah, what when they redid coke. Coke zero? No. Original coke. No, coke. What was a coke? What was a call? When they reinvented coke? New coke. New coke. That's not it. There was no new coke. Yeah, they yeah. What? In the 80s. New coke. You wouldn't even lie. You fucking get it. They got rid of old coke and they go I'm new It was just hope people went we don't like it, but a lot of people didn't try it We bottled a big what in a shit We bottled human poop and a lot of people didn't like it, but they did try it.

What I'm saying, you're a great boy. Dude, try it. You're such a marketing major. Dude, I'm the best, dude. I'll try it. I'm telling you that water, I'm gonna get everyone to bottle a fucking $30 water. Please, you buy it.

I'll buy it, bring it in here, and then I put in your fridge, let it chill, and in the morning wake up, take a shot of it, and then you see. I'll tell you what I liked. I liked Crystal Clear Pepsi when it came out. What was that? And no one liked it. And it got pulled off the shelves,

and you know why nobody liked it? They didn't try it. And I hate Crystal Clear Pepsi. And you never had it. Look at it, it was literally clear Pepsi. You could still buy it on the internet today. It was so good. I don't know why I liked it so much.

So here's the deal. For next week, we'll go back to the story. What? You're in line with the salad. Oh, yeah, and I couldn't get it right. They kept dumping out the ingredients. I kept going back and forth. And I had such a I had such a moment of fear that I anyway, thank you for being a bad friend. Oh! Perfect. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. You got the wood shop.

Yeah, that's why you couldn't do wood shop. And because Bobby gave all he can in that one, let me tell you something, we're giving you guys a higher discount. Yeah! Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! Woo! Yeah!

I'm gonna go back to the