Bad Friends - The Magic Man w/ Sebastian Maniscalco

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

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We got new shirts, and this is, I think, one of our best shirts of all time. I think so, too. On it has all the whole, your cast of characters in it. The gang's all here. The gang's all here. And then Poway High School, the home of the Titans. Home of the Titans, baby. My high school's there, Hollywood, all that stuff.

The Comedy Store. Tusi's on there. Krikor's on there. McCone, Carlos, everyone. We also have mugs. If you like coffee, you want to start your day right with the bad friends. We also have mugs on there. Mugs and shirts.

Go get them now before we stop selling. them. We're doing limited time runs for a lot of this stuff. Go to bad friendsmerch.com. Bad friendsmerch.com. Also, we're going down on to, mate. We're going to be in Australia. Sydney's, Sydney, we have to add seats because you guys did great. Tell them where we go. We're going to Sydney. Sydney, Brisbane, Australia, Auckland, New Zealand, Melbourne,

Melbourne, Australia, Adelaide, Australia, Berth, Australia. Tickets are going fast. Tickets are going fast. Go to bad friendspod.com for tickets. Badfriendspod.com for tickets. are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude. I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

You two are something. We're bad friends. What's going on your face? Like a teenage girl. I'm like a teenage girl. Dude, dude, dude, I love it. Are there like pink ones that can blend into your face?

You had to do the yellow. These were for you, but I just want to. Oh, I see. You want me to save that stuff for the pod? Yeah. Dude, let me tell you something. Did you offer our guest anything to drink or anything? Water.

I got water. They better. Everybody's a little to star stroke. Everyone is a little to say, a star star stroke. Starstroke. This guy. Dude, we hire almost all the people that work for us are A, illegal. They're illegal.

They don't have cards. Or B, they're felons. Felons, yeah. Honest felons. Carlos, did you know said back in the day? I would see you at the comedy store, yeah. Yeah, but he didn't know you. No.

No. Oh, dude. Well, no, because you were around. Yeah. Yeah. But this is before he blew up, though. So you didn't go out, hey, I'm Carlos? No, no.

You think Sebastian was in sacred ground with the crackheads in the back of it? You did stand up and went home. Oh, that's right. That's right. These guys were cockroaching behind the comedy store. He didn't linger. He didn't need to. I did.

I lingered early on. My early years, I was a linger. Yeah, yeah. But as, you know, as you grow up, you, you, go home. Well, I didn't make it yet. So, you know what I mean? I need to hang out.

You mean now? Yeah, now. I hang out now because I haven't made it yet. I mean, my opportunity might, you know what I mean? Maybe I'll do the Golden Globes. Are you sleeping in Mitzie's office? Don't you pass out sometimes up there? That's your little apartment?

Well, first of all, no one's ever been in Mitzie's office. You know that? I have. There's no, no one's been. I have. Don't do this. You have it. Have you been in Mitsy's office?

Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? I don't think you guys know where Mitzis office is. This is so, what a dumb guy think. There was another room with a desk. What are you talking about? No, where do you think Mitzi's office is? What are you talking about? What are you guys talking about? And I don't like this. I don't like what's going on right now, dude. F you, let's, go ahead, sir. Let me ask you this. Okay. Is Mitzi's office at the comedy store?

That's very good. Yeah, all right. Good. This is good. You're acting, you're treating me like you've always said, like a child. Yeah. And I'm going to allow this. All right. So go ahead. Let's Let's go. The way you're behaving is as if we didn't come across the office because the office is located on Quay. I know, but what I'm saying to you is that, can I ask you a question? Yes. Based after your question. Michael, are there many offices at the Comedy Store?

Yes. Yes. There we go. Am I? Okay. So what I'm, no, stop. Dude, this is the worst detective of all time. Trying to find clues that aren't there.

Yeah, yeah. So what I'm saying is that I feel like you've been. in an office where you thought it was Mitzie's office, but it really wasn't. Okay. Okay. So what I know this about Mitzie's office is that it's been closed since the 70s. No one's ever been in there. That's not true.

Okay. So now I'm going to ask you, Seb, and you, Andrew, all right? All right? Because I'm not afraid. Number one, I don't, I'm not based in fear right now. I have courage and I know what I'm talking about. Okay. You fucking assholes right now, right?

And don't do, you know what this is? I saw this on TikTok. It's the way to, you know what I mean? Control the room and you're with your hand like this. Yeah. You know what this is? Yeah. This is sitting on a kid's...

That's what that is. I read it wrong. So I'm going to ask you guys, where is the office? You know what I want it? I don't know if we need to tell you because you haven't been. This is kind of the great thing. This is so funny because now you see what's going on. They now are scared.

Because they don't know where her office is. I do. So this is great. So tell. No, the office is upstairs. Okay, so where? I go. There's many building offices up there.

So describe to me how I get up there. Okay. Since you've been in there. Yeah. Does the office have a heavy, like red kind of velvety drape that you remember? I don't know if it does anymore, but it did. It used to have a, there was a secondary door before you got to her office door. Yeah.

It was two doors. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. You're the only one who has them. I've never been in there. I've never been in there.

I'm never been in there. A responsible, grown, hold on. Hey, Egett. Adam, you're on, you're on bad friends with Sebastian and me and Bobby. And Bobby claims that's, yeah, exactly.

He goes, nobody's been in Mitzie's office since the 70s, and I said, me and you, I've been in it, you and I went in it. Did or did, have we not been in Mitzie's office? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, okay. Thank you.

I love you. I'm not done. No, we're done. Give me the phone. Give me the phone. Why is Bobby ban from the office? Yeah, why can't Bobby go in, Egett? Oh, that's totally different. Right. Oh, yeah, what is it then, Egett?

Bobby, there's so many fucking reasons. Yeah, there is. Yeah. And I think our audience... Hang up the phone. I love you. Hang up the phone. Goodbye. I love it.

Okay, so I was wrong. There are parts of this comments. So aggressive to our guest. Listen. Guys, I never know when I come on these things. Yeah. Is this like on? Yeah. Where do we go? We had already started.

I just did a podcast where it was like, okay, we're going to start in a bit of water, this and that. And then it was like an introduction. Yeah. Here it's like, hey, we're running right from the get-go. This is a car accident. Okay. No, it's not a car. It's just going to happen.

You guys are making me so mad right now. Dude, what is your problem? I don't know. I'm just an aggro right now. What happened in Century City that you're so upset? It took me a long way to get here. Well, no shit. What were you doing? over there.

CA's packaging a thing and I had you know I don't act like his okay I'm doing this

you know I'm doing this you know me because it's like it's a whirlwind so I don't want to get into why I was there

World Wind or Whirlwind What's a World Wind Do you Which word do you think it is W-Y N

World Wind World Wind No it's W-H-I-L-W-N-W-N-N W-N-N like Steve W-W-N No no not Steve W-W-W-W-W-N

Wind or World Wind. What is it? What is it? No, no, no, I'm just saying you're right no matter what. Okay. I know you're going to say this. Well, let me just say something. We'll do the proper intro.

No, but I'm going to tell you why we do it. Where we're at, is this part of like, oh, we get warmed up and then all of a sudden, the foreigner says, hey, let's get this going. Well, you're right. You're right. Our guest today is one of our favorite comedians who ever walk the earth. An actor, a comedian, a writer, probably one of the most. brilliant performers alive today, Sebastian Manuscalco.

What did you, wait, don't step on them. A real comedian. A real comedian for once. For once on this show. Yeah. Let me just get back. Okay, I'm back. Do it again?

I already did it. All right. He's a real comedian. That's what I got. Not only that did I get actor, world, world when we said. A great actor, a great writer, a great performer, a great comedian. May I say something? A great father.

May I say something? A great friend. May I say something? because I have my own two bits as well. Please. He's a great guy. You never said that. And also, secondly, I've known him probably one of the longest, right? Yeah.

And, you know, he's one of those guys that I always knew. So Sebastian Mascog. You know what? Guys, you know what? Let's just go back to the normal way you do it. It doesn't seem organic? We can't do NPR podcast. It's just not for us.

How many did you do today? Two interviews? I did the School of Greatness. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

We're not that great, so I don't know if we'd go. Well, we've never seen them in the charts. Are they bigger than us? No way. I love your attitude right now. Thank you so much. This is like, yeah, Lewis House. Oh, he was there.

Now what's his thing about? It's more like, you know, a grown-up shit. You know? He's a two-time New York bestselling author. Is that what it says? Yeah, two-time All-American AdWasselian. athlete, keynote speaker, entrepreneur. Wow. Yeah, it was more about like life.

Life. Yeah. We do life too, bud. No, no. Yeah. How's your life going? Some people watch it. Yeah, yeah. Some people watch it. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, dude, you're flexing, huh? He's being a little diminutive, and it's interesting you would do that to someone you respect so much like Sebastian. No, this is the first time I have someone I admire. On our show. Yeah. You've never admired any.

We had John Cena didn't admire. Zach Afron, didn't admire. No Zach Afron, no, I'm in Myer? All right, we've also had, who else have we had? You too. The band, you two? We had you, Bono, we had Bono and the edge, okay. Yeah, we're like, you know, we're the bottom.

But my point is, is that, it's fine. Who else have we had? So, you had Bono in here? No. No, he's just, he doesn't. When he said, English is bad. He's bad. Yeah, we never had Bono here.

He meant he has us too. Oh, I said, I thought it was youth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. He's very bad with, he's very bad with the education skills. Can you shut the fuck up, maybe? Right, because we have a guess. Anyway, so Sebastian is an old friend, and he's killing it. You know, it's great.

I'm so happy for you. Thank you. Here's another reason why I like you. No, I don't. Go ahead. I just don't get it. What are you doing? What's the problem?

He knows we like it. But tell him why he like it. For people listening. I'm sure they like him way more. They way more than me, but I'm just going to tell. I'm sorry. Sorry. Back up, everyone. Okay.

You got to take those off because it's doing something to your mind and the way you're podcasting. It's affecting everything. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is that? I told you it's pimple patches. I had a breakout. Yeah. I went to Vegas.

I got cream. Yeah. I put wrong cream on my face. I broke out when I came back. Okay, let me ask you this because this is the second time I've seen this in less than four days. Yeah. Someone had that on. These.

Yeah. Yeah, at a party that we were at. It's a kid party, and one of the mothers had one here. Now, can you come out with those on and not mention that you have those? Must say something. Must say something if you walk in. And I would never go to a public. If I was going to a party or a thing, I would just get over it.

This is home to me. So this is easy. If I'm going to a party or an event, can't just deal with the pimple. Just deal with the redness. This woman didn't say anything about it. No, I said you got something on your, like you, I thought it was like, from opening a gift that one of the stickers got, I thought you got a star on your day. She's like, no, it's for a pimple? I'm like, is it getting that comfortable now where people just come out with acne cream?

Yeah, yeah. Well, let me say something, first of all, to the company that makes those. Why don't you make them so that it's something that you would have on your face, like a liver spot or a freckle? Right. So are those, those? No, these are real liver spots. Oh, yeah. That old Korean men get.

Yeah, yeah. But my point being is if I had a brown liver spot like there and that is it, I think it would just blend it in my face, no? Yeah, but then this feels like it's more obvious, hey, I have a thing on my face. That would be, we would start calling each other going, is Bobby okay? There's way more liver spots on his face than used to be.

Right, but me, you can like pull on heartstrings, maybe something even worse, like a scar. You know what I mean? Or lesions. You should have worked in Halloween makeup You would have been way better at that than comedy That should have been your career This is great

I'm in You start a business doing this and I'm in Guys guys yeah thanks Is this as I was gonna go? This is how it goes That's how it goes Are you plugging something? What the fuck you're doing here?

We'll get that I'm just interested in the dynamics Yeah yeah Okay here we go Because I generally don't watch the show Yeah. Neither do we. I have a family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So are these guys you're hanging out with on a social level, or is it just a work thing and everybody goes there separate ways? No, actually, we do. It is kind of like a little family for us. Yeah, and it's five guys. Well, there's a woman in the back that I met briefly. That's McCone. That's McCone.

You have a new intern? Yeah, where is she? Oh, I thought he was talking about McCone. Did I see what she looks like? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, oh, another Asian. Hi.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're an intern? I am. Okay, sit back down. Thank you. I'm going to impress you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, listen. Okay. I'm impressed, number one. Congratulations on all the success that the show has had. Thank you. It's really fantastic. And I'm impressed that you guys are so big that there's an intern program. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There is. I have bad friends. I mean, that's pretty impressive. Well, I'll tell you what, though. We don't do the intern hiring. We have no say. They bring in people. And I'm starting to get a little suss.

We might need to audit it because it's always Asian girls. Yeah. So I don't know what's going on over there. I think they're doing it for me. It's not working. It's not working. No, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. Trust me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't like, I'm cool with any race, any gender. Okay. But let's mix it up a little bit. Yeah. That's been the fifth Asian girl we've had. Okay. Oh, yeah.

We love him. Let's just make sure when he says that. Yeah. I just saw the movie fences. The movie fences? Very good. Donzel. Yeah. Very good movie. Never set the play.

Do the scene. Let's do the scene. Son? I don't know. I never saw it. Oh, my God. But let me try. Let me try. Let me try. I got so nervous. No, no. He's here. So, why do you think I work all day? Paying bills and putting food on the table.

Not because of my duty, but because I'm your father. Because you love me? Yeah. Now go clean the fucking bathroom. No. No. You didn't do that? No. He doesn't.

Not because I love you. I never saw the movie. That's pretty good for somebody that's never seen the fucking movie. Or the play. Or the play. Am I not right? Well, I got to tell you.

What? The meeting that you were at today was for a movie package deal. And this is what you're bringing to the table? I'm concerned. Sometimes there's low braw projects, dude. Not everyone's going to work with Robert dinner. Sometimes no brow projects.

Sometimes they're so low, there's no brow. And that's okay. You do the bottle. No, I don't know the monologue from, I don't remember it. I'm the kid. Yeah, dad. Yeah, dad. You want to talk to me in the backyard in New York, Brooklyn, 1978?

Is that when you think it was in 19- I don't know what does this move on? Let's move on. Okay, all right. Sebastian, I want to ask you something. I got back from Vegas. I went to go see Dead and Company. I don't know.

It's weird to me to see people from all different facets that like that band. I wouldn't pick you as that, but do you like that stuff at all? know. It's funny, my musical tastes are very sheltered. I didn't grow up with a lot of the music, a lot of the people grew up in the 80s with. My father around the house was playing Al Jiro, a lot of jazz, Grover Washington, Miles Davis. So I would go to school. I love it. And everybody Oh, you listen to the Beatles, you listen to this or whatever. I go, no, I'm listening to, you know, Bos Skag. Oh.

I wasn't privy to a lot of this music that a lot of people grew up on. So, no, I'm not a bad company guy. But I heard the show. Is that the sphere? Yeah, dead company. What I say, bad company? Bad company. Also a great band.

Yeah. Also a great band. I have a line of question real quick, but if you want to say something, I have a line of question. What he just said was really bothered me, but go ahead. Okay. All I want to say is I understand this sheltered. I don't know. My dad was, my dad was stuck in a, stuck in the, he never liked new shit. Even if it was general, my dad is born 55, something like that. So I would think, you know, a lot of my friend's dads were like Zapplin rock, 70s rock. My dad only liked Carolina Beach music, soul, Patsy Klein. You don't I mean like, he liked either folk, folk country crosswalk. or soul music, you know, like Sam Cook, and he just never, so like for me, it was similar in that way where I had to go fish because my friends were like, Patsy Klein. They didn't know who

that. They were like, who is that? So like same kind of idea. So I had to be like out of myself to pretend I knew things when I was young, so I had to just investigate. You just bailed. You were like. Yeah, I didn't know there was any investigating. I just like, okay, this is the music taste that I'm going to grow up with you. Right. I'm sorry? You liked Michael Jackson. I love Michael Jackson. Yeah. Well, who do you, yeah, who? Michael Jackson, Prince. I mean, Madonna.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those things you did. I know that about you. I didn't get a motley crew. I like kind of the hair bands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like the classical rock bands. Yeah.

I didn't, I didn't get into. Like no Zeppelin. No Zeppelin. Wow. But if I said to you, like, name me a couple of Beatles songs you would know. I mean, you're privy to it. That information.

Yes. You don't know any Beatles songs. Again, I don't know lyrics to songs, nor do I know titles to songs. Okay. Love that about it. I know. That's what I love.

I know. I like it. I like it. When you came here today, what did you listen to in the car on the way here? I was talking to people. But if you're not on the phone... I would generally listen to audiobooks. Fuck.

Or the latest Eminem song, Houdini. Whoa, the scale of that. Audio books, Eminem. Houdini. Wow. Whoa. The Anxious Generation, that's the book. Yeah.

I'm listening to right now. And then Houdini is the, wow. That's it. That's your playlist. That's right now, yeah. Right, right.

I don't veer far. Okay, may I ask you some questions? And I know you're a guest, and I love you so much. And don't be rude. I'm not going to be, I felt like I was being rude early. I apologize.

You're not being rude at all. Thank you so much. I've known you for 25 years. Okay, so I'm going to ask you some direct questions then, okay? Because I'm not afraid. All right. All right.

I mean, you have, Spotify, no? I do have Spotify. Thank you. Apple Music, no? Yes. Exactly. A search engine? Yes. Yeah. This isn't rude?

Because I'm confused. No, no, no. I'm totally. You're right. I should ask you. Hey, you have all the stuff like Spotify and Apple, right? Better. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. I have it too. And you know, you search things, right on it? Mm-hmm. Right? Never curious. Maybe let's see what the Beatles are all about? No.

Why? Listen, it is a weakness I have in my repertoire for cultural, you know, I should be able to name many songs from the Beatles and or Led Zeppelin, you know, was it stairway to heaven? Yeah, but watch this. But watch this. Well, watch this.

I know what you're going to do. I know what you're going to do. I know. Name the last five books in your world that you've either read or listened to. Atomic habit. Boom. Let's stop there. Love that book. You've never read. Atomic habits, of course.

Who wrote it? I forgot his name, but I can tell you what the book's about. What is it? It's about the habitual learning about atomic energies within the earth and also the biosphere of the world and the universe. No, but that is a good lie. I like that lie. It's good.

Nice try. It's good. Okay, anyway. This is my point. His learn. You're telling me that the fucking, you're talking. Go for it. You're talking about that book is equivalent to the white album.

No, my point is he's. indulging in knowledge through books you indulge through music and I listen to audiobooks too just not those ones you do not listen to audio the but rings I did because I wanted to get all the all of it I want to get all of it right I did Bob I know you Joe J R to R token he didn't

narrate it who's too old Eric Stolkin No no G R Token right and I'll tell another thing I listen to Ram Dass spiritual shit okay that's in your face I know you do I'm so sorry being rude yeah I'm glad you're reading not being rude Yeah, yeah.

But, yeah, music for me was always about working out dancing. That's what it always accompanied for me. I never really accompanied me sitting in my room going, oh, my God, man. What he said is perfect. I didn't music for that. For me, it was dancing. How about this? People always say, what's your last meal?

What's the last song you'd prefer to hear before you die? If you could control the last song to hear before you go out, Because you know, I think sometimes... I know what it is. What is it? Nat can call Wonderful Life. Wow. Not good?

No, yeah, it's good. I didn't pick you. I did not think that. That song, I love black people. You've said that three times already. We established that already. Yeah, I think the fans are going to call it out at this point. Why?

That's insane. You keep saying it. I can say whatever I want. Oh, reinforce it. Okay. No, that's the last time. My point is that I like that song because it gives me the good feels. I could be in the worst mood.

And that song comes, and I am happy go lucky. It changes everything. I'm frolicking. I'm light. You know what I mean? I'm a new man. I love that song.

What do you think if you were going out? What's the song you'd like to hear right before you go? Billy Jean. Billy Jean. Oh, that's a good song. That makes me come alive. All right?

Billy Jean does. Yeah. Every time I hear that song, I want to get up and do something. Yeah, yeah. You're a good dancer, by the way. I've, you know, my dancing skills have declined over the years. However, growing up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, you know this. I mean, you grew up.

Did you hit the, you're a little younger than I am, a lot of younger. We hit the teen dance clubs. You ever go to Totos? No, not really. Acapocobar? Not really. That missed our generation. I was more of a live show guy.

I went to live concert. So would you want to a Lollapalooza? What was it? Lollapaloo? Yeah, wasn't that the big thing? Lalapalooza was a thing. But did you ever, do you ever heard of Fireside Bowl?

Do you remember Fireside Bowl? No. No. I liked little indie hip-hop and rock shows. And they throw them at these like, Fireside Bowl, look it up. I don't know. Well, I want to know about Toto.

So walk me through Toto, you show up. Cover charge? Cover charge? Yeah. Line? Line. Do people know you? Do people know you?

You get in right in? Oh, they know him. Now, yeah, but back that. the guy who knew the bouncer, but I was always with a guy that had the inn. Right. This is teen dance club, 17. McGrievous. Another one. Wow, McGreeves, yeah. Is that total right

there? No, that's Fireside Bowl. Oh, it is okay. Hipop shows. No, where was that at? Is that downtown? Fireside Bowl is on I don't even know where it was. It was just outside in Fullerton, yeah. Fullerton, okay. Yeah, no, I didn't well, how old are you? 40.

Okay, so 10 years, that's a big gap. So, yeah. We're closer to. No teens. No teens. Yeah, but you didn't, you know, this is just as Chicago in the late 89, 90, Toto's, McGreeves, Discovery Club. That's the hot shit. That was the hot spot. This was going down up and down Harlem Avenue, cruising in our cars. You ever do that? No.

Now, did you have to break off the bouncer every time? It sounds like American graffiti, by the way. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was living in Saturday Night's. Milkshakes? You like milkshakes? Okay, okay.

Maltz? Yeah, about mults. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Saturday Night Fever. He's just explaining us the story of Saturday. him Saturday night. You met Mr. Saturday night? John Chavento Volta. Whoa. Yeah, where?

He was at the comedy store. When? Saturday night. I just said. Oh, I thought he said Mr. Saturday night. Oh, this Saturday? This Saturday, he was there. So Tommy Lee was there with Brittany Furlong. She was doing a show in the belly room. What's so funny? You said Furlong and it's funny to me because it's like the length of a horse in a horse race. It is. What's her last name? Furland.

Exactly. Okay, I just laughed The boys did it Did you know who I was talking about? Let's move on anyway So Tommy is there And I met Tommy before right So I went up and I went

Hey, you know me Yeah Yeah good socially right Hey You know me I grabbed his wrist And I do a bump with my hip To the side

Smart No it wasn't Because he went like What the fuck right And then Because he was in conversation With John Travolta And I look up

And I go Oh fuck Because you know I saw at all. Luke was talking. The Greece. Good one to start with. Yeah, yeah. The Greece. You know what I mean? The one where he's, you know what I mean, the cowboy Western one that he did.

Luke was talking too. Yeah, that's what, right? And then anyway, it's Saturday Night Live. Pulpiction. Fever, I mean, Pulpiction, right? So, thank you so much. And the valley of violence. So I go, hey, I'm Bobby and you, and he didn't say anything. So I go, I know you're Jantzavulta. And I was so, I know, so embarrassing. So did you get a good energy back? No, bad, bad energy.

Yeah. Because when I don't expect it and it comes out of nowhere, I don't know how to do it. I get, I read the situation wrong. Well, what did he look like? Was he kind of look like that like an hairspray? No, no, no, no, no. He looked like the previous photo that you had. Was he bald?

Yeah, he's bald. Yeah, yeah. It's in his eyes. What is? Travolta. He's in his eyes? The Travolta is in his eyes. You know, even when he gets older,

it's in, you can tell it's in the eye. You're saying like all of his ability and... Look at those eyes. Yeah. Yeah, I see that way. It looks like eyes. So were you, were you taking aback by the eyes? Did you...

Is that why you got flustered? Well, I mean, at first, in my mind, I'm like, I, for a split second, I was like, I know this person, and he could be a comedian, I was just trying, you know, going through the thing. I go, then I went, oh, fuck, it's John Travolta. And then at that point, I was looking at his eyes

and he was doing some sort of like Scientology, you know what I mean? Like alien thing, right? I went, you know what I mean? I go, you got John Travolta, you know what I mean? And then I was like, oh, I got fucking bamboozled by his energy, you know? And it walked away. You should have just been like, where's Shelley Muscavage? Where's she at, John?

Or let's like, yeah, yeah. And then just walked away. But then I also bowed. to his grandmother and her, his daughter, I believe. So I go, John DeVolta, and I looked at them and I bowed for something. I don't know why. Well, it's instinct. Thank you.

Heritage. Anyway. Have you ever been taken aback by, I mean, look, dude, your resume speaks for itself. You worked with some of the greatest legends of our business. Have you been taken aback? Prince. Prince knocked you out, huh? Knock me out.

Tell us. Can we tell me the story? Tell me Prince. This is actually with Steve Byrne. and who else was it, Butch Bradley. I don't know who that is. Comic.

We were in Las Vegas. I'm going to say this is, you got like a crack research team back there. Well, when Prince of the Super Bowl. For sure. When Prince did the Super Bowl, I think it was maybe 07.09-ish around there.

Right. When did Prince do the Super Bowl? And let him continue. Let's go, guys. Go ahead. Anyway. We were in Las Vegas performing, I want to say,

at the Tropicana Hotel. Oh, 7. for the weekend. Oh, so. Okay. And Butch Bradley knew, uh, somebody that was producing the commercial for the Super Bowl. That's somebody saw Butch Bradley on the marquee. I said, listen, I need funny guys to do something with Prince for a promo. Oh, holy shit. So we go in. This is at the Venetian hotel banquet room. We're sitting around, uh, a banquet room table. And they said, Prince is going to come in after we kind of do the, you know, he just wasn't going to sit through our deal. So he comes in and he's got two beautiful woman flanking him.

This is beautiful. I've yet to incorporate this into my life, but if there's a moment to do so, I definitely will. It came in with two incense sticks. And they were holding the incense sticks. And it was like, immediately you were in the, you were just in Prince's aura. Oh my God. Wow.

And he sat down, you know, with the eyes. And everybody was staring at him. And no one really wanted to communicate with him. And he's like, you know, why he's, serious? Yeah. And he kind of broke the ice by doing that. We did a couple shots with him. He got up.

The incense sticks were there. And he left. And I got to tell you, looking into this man's eyes just was just like a different human being. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So that's... It's incredible. That's my...

I mean, he was... One of the most talented people on planet Earth. But just such a magic man. Magic. He's a magic man. He's a magic man. I get it. That's not even a real...

It's like God did it for us and they were like, we're going to give you a couple of these. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Well, who are these people? Magic people like that? Magic men people. Well, Michael Jackson might be. Michael Jackson was a magic man.

Magic man. Magic they. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever come across? This is another guy I think is magic. Tom Cruise. Have you ever been in his private?

No. Never. Yeah. You can tell that he is, though. Yeah, I could just see that, you know, through how he behaves, it's someone that's very connected. Connected. Yeah.

I can tell that he is magic man because, without giving away much, one of my closest friends, who you know, works with him. and I mean sitting on the plane like is with him with him and the story she's told and the way she's dealt with such like high powered people

but she talks about him it's like an enigma like she's like it's inexplained the way he maneuvers and moves the way he contacts people the way he's able to like be with someone stay with them for a minute

and then when he's done they feel like fulfilled instead of like you know how in LA people are like talking through you a little bit a thing like good to see you man yeah What's been going on? They're not looking.

He like hones in, has this relationship. And then she's like, it is unbelievable to watch him work. She says it's like he's at work. Even when he's not shooting, he's at work with people. I heard he says hi to everybody. He remembers your name. Remember it was your name, right? And I knew he was a good guy when he did that red carpet.

And those people pulled the prank where they squirted the water in his face. Why would you do that? That's what he said. That's what he said, right? Why would you do that? Like if it was Jean-Claude Vattam, Van Damme, yeah. He just kind of held his hand and he goes, why did you do that? I was being nice.

I came up to you. And I knew at that moment I go, this is a good guy. It was a brilliant. Look at this reaction. Yeah, right here. Hits him in the face with water. Is that what it was? It was in France or something.

Yeah, yeah, here we go. You can tell he's like diving in. Diving in. Where's the spray at? Look at how calm he is. Look at how calm he is. What you can tell? He's angry.

I know. Yeah. Look, watch. What's so funny about that? It's brilliant, though. Why would you do that? It's ridiculous. Yeah.

Do you like making less of people? All right, that's what's what's. What's great is he says, do you like making less of people? It was so calm. It's such a... What a line. Do you like making less of people? And you can...

What I wish, I wish we saw that the other guy's face because you'd be watching a man crumble as he's being emasculated. Oh, so good luck ever getting in a red carpet interview again. Well, that guy was... I remember that's got famous, he was a famous prankster in France.

I can't remember his name, but he did shit like this all the time. But he did it so calmly. He grabbed his... Imagine a man grabbing your wrist, like a boy. Like a little boy and going, Why would you do that?

I mean, it would a basket, I mean, you'd crumble down. Like, what would you do? Like, what would you do, Seth? You squirted me in the face? Yeah. I would probably walk away. Yeah. I'd just walk away, yeah, yeah.

And you'd be mad the whole time, though. Of course it'd be mad. I don't think I could confront the person. I would probably be stunned and I would walk away because in my head, what's coming next? Oh. Is it acid? Am I burning? It's happening.

Right, right. See, he thinks deep analytical. You know my anger. would be, it's over. You would have hurt him. I would just, I would immediately find an, in a comedic sense, my brain would go, got to do something mean but funny. I would try to find water or a drink of something, grab it and throw it on him as fast as I could.

Oh, I see. But I would do it in a way that was almost like I'm trying to hit you. Like, you know, like my hand might be holding out of the cup as I hit you in the face with it. That's pretty aggressive, though. Yeah, well, fuck him. Just punch him in the face. No, no, see, because punching, because this, if I did that, but he, I could say, I just squirted him back.

Yeah, but what he did was assault. I'm sorry, that's assault. You're allowed to punch him in the face. I don't think that's... Well, I think this was more powerful. You're right. Yeah. And if this ever happens to any of us,

I would suggest that we take the Tom Cruise route, bring the man in, and... Belittle him. Yeah. Belittle him. Yeah, yeah. Why'd you do that? Now, do you think that's a thing that you should have done?

Like a child... He talked to him like a child. You're right. He did it the right way. He shrunk a man to nothing. Shrunk him down, yeah. Yeah. Now, would you ever do a Christian bail outburst on a set?

Well, we heard that he did. We heard Sebastian, he bursts like that on every set he's on. He's never not done that. I can't imagine. Scorsese has said that in a bunch of interviews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, you know who's the real ass hell? Sebastian.

Have you ever blown up at all? No, you're so calm. You're calm. I don't know. I've never seen. It takes a lot to get me angry. I mean, there are times where I get frustrated and mad, but not at to the point where, you know, It's an outburst of yelling and screaming and losing control.

Did your father ever blow up or was he all had the same demeanor as you? He was a little bit more, he had a little bit more of a temper and he would let it go. Just around us. I don't think around other people. I don't like public displays of anything. Anything. Yeah. When you see somebody kiss in public, like when someone's making out in a line,

you're waiting in a line for a thing. When someone's making out, it bothers you a lot? A heavy makeout in public. I'm like, really? Yeah. Yeah. Kiss on a lips. I mean, it's fine, but like, we're like going at it in the line.

I don't really see. Again, we did the, this same thing happened when I did Tiger Bell. Why you put, what? No, you do this thing where your eyes start wandering around the room. Wait, wait, wait. You see it? Do you see it on the camera? He was looking over here.

No. Do you know why? We talked about this. Why? What did I say? I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Whatever you're doing right now, I don't like.

What are you doing right now? I was just making an observation. Yeah, but you don't know. And what did I say before when I was doing that? I don't know what the fuck it was. I'm thinking, I'm listening to you. I'm ingesting what you're saying. And I'm going, oh, that's good.

I like what he's saying. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. Let me tell you. All right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Especially after the conversation, we just hopped off.

Okay, okay. Would Tom Cruise do that? Yeah. You want lock eyes. Lock it in. Lock eyes. Lock it in. You gotta realize. Yeah, yeah. You know what it's like when you're thinking, Sebastian, when you're thinking about movement of conversation, you're thinking in a way where you're swimming in a pool. There's a little bit of water resistance, but it's not heavy. He's swimming in quicksand. When he's trying to think, it's quicksand. That's why he needs to dart. It's such a thick mess. It's a clogged artery up there. And so when he's thinking, his brain is just like Stardue Valley, Arsenal. He's trying to get those away to think about where you are. Yeah, yeah. That's what I know.

I see you do. In that order pretty much. I know, I see you doing it. Stardue Valley and then Arsenal. And then you're thinking about food at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I have in my house? No, I had a meatball sandwich.

See? That's what I thought. I know. He was right here. No, I'm listening to everything you're saying. But also, can I just say this before? It's just that I don't, you know, I feel so comfortable around you that I feel like I can dart. I have no problem with it.

I just remember that happening on the other podcast, and I asked you what was going on. And what did I say that? Again, I forgot. I don't know what the hell it was. But it's almost as if you are physically thinking. I could see the thoughts. Okay, okay.

Because it's just a lot of like. I want to control that because. Do it. No, I don't want to do it because I'm in situations where I shouldn't be darting. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like, you know, if I'm, you know, like at the pitch meeting today, you know, I was darting a lot. And they're like, don't darting on dates. I dart on dates all the time And they don't think that I'm interested Well, how can, I mean, you know

Yeah, yeah Also, I've learned some new things You know Well, I've been dating lately I've been learning some new things What are some things? What are you learning? I learned that if there's no physical touch

From them in terms of like Even touching your arm Or like, you know, that kind of thing That don't go in for a kiss This is this you could be a sex ed teacher Yeah, yeah Because what I notice is You know

General cues Because when I asked people like, you know, I've been, I went on this, date with this girl for three times and there's no kiss, right? And people are like, I wonder what that is. But then in my, I have kissed before. And so I've just been seeing all the signs of the kisses before. And I just realized that there needs to be, you know, I mean, some sort of like affection.

And then if they're not touching it at all and they're doing like quick, sometimes they do that. Like I'll lean in and they'll pull away. That's not good. That's, yeah. We should just end of the day. Yeah, yeah. And this last girl that I had to,

even I tested her today, I'm not lying, I just basically said that when you get out of the car, it's just almost as if you're jumping out of a plane. Like when I'm dropping off, like, that was a great date. She goes, she's like, she's off.

You know what I mean? And so, and she opens the door door so quickly. I don't have even time to even get a kiss. Get in there, right? And so in my mind, I'm like, if that happens,

it's a no go. Ask her how quickly she showers after the date. That'll be a tell. I don't get it. If she immediately showers when she gets home, she's trying to wash you. When she runs away, she's trying to shed you off of her.

How do I say that, though? Go, hey, you know the last date we went? You know you left the car? Did you take a shower like right away? After we go on a date, do you shower right after? Yeah, I do. Like, I do three showers actually in a row. I do a scrub branch,

scrub branch, In my mind, I should go, that's it. That's it. Block your number. Interested in me. Right, obviously. Yeah. Well, let me ask you this.

Uh-oh. Well, because you were in a relationship for a long time and I don't really know your dating patterns. When you go out with a girl for the first time, like where are we going? Restaurant. What do we do? No, I'm glad you're asking. And this is a very good question. Sorry.

Something came out. Yeah, we heard it. So, yeah. So number one. Some people spend their money, right, on things like watches, right, or cars and whatnot. You know, but some people like myself, I like, you know, food. Yeah. Like nice restaurants, right?

You mad at me? Why? Don't be mad at me. It's okay. Yeah, people are different. We are very different. Yeah, I'll, you know, like. Oh, don't, bro.

See this? Yeah. This is just an Instagram, quick buy. I look at it and say I buy it You know what I mean So I do it like that I often wonder who buys that It's me

I'm the guy Yeah I'm the guy dude What idiot Andrew scrolling Who in their right mind Even if I feel like it's not gonna work I buy it anywhere Oh they've got me They've got me a few times

Yeah So anyway so I have probably 10 spots That I generally go to For the first day Where I know the menu I know how to park and I know that everyone likes it almost.

Yeah. I agree. What is one of those places? Give me a spot. He doesn't want to give them away. Because now when I say it, other girls listening now because most of them are bad friends fans, they're going to, he brought me there. Yeah. You know what I mean?

He's cycling girls through the same five. It's actually kind of five to six places. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So there's nothing wrong with saying the place. I mean, it's the place. All right. So I'll give you.

And I know that this is a spot that you like because I know. I've seen you there before. Yes. I don't think we've ever seen each other at a restaurant. We have. Oh. You can say Chosan? Where is it?

Is it the one up on the roof? No. Chosan. Yeah, Chosan Goldbe. It was a Korean restaurant on Olympic, and I did run into you there. You're with your wife. I swear to God. I don't think so.

I'll tell you why now. Because it's a story that I tell every girl that I bring there. One time I ran into Sebastian here. Really? Do you think he would show us? up now? Yeah, yeah. It's one of those things. So I know. Wow, I have to ask Leonard. What's it called? Chosan. We'll text it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's, I think it's one of the best Korean places. Well, we go, we did your birthday there. We do it. We've done, we've been there a million times.

You took me to a Thai place on sunset. Toy? I love toy. Is that it? Yeah. Back in the day, though, when you used to hang out. You still go there? No. I've made, I have some money now, man. Oh, okay. Hey, hey, hey. What? Too much? There's nothing wrong with Toy. You're right, you're right. Toy, if you want great Thai, go to Toy.

Well, good, tie, not great. Right. So then I also go, I'm not done, okay? Okay, please. Another one I do, because I know the guy, is Major Domo. David Chang's restaurant in Chinatown. Because I know what to get there. It's also, you know what's great about dates, and everyone listening right now,

you go to a place where you can share. Yeah. Right. If you have individual, but if you can somehow, like, you know, You know, they have their hand in the hummus, and you can accidentally kind of touch hands. They go, oh, you go first. Like, you can have those little moments.

Right. You know what I mean? Oh, wow. What do you mean? You know what I mean? Or you do something cute like, hey, you know what? I can't get that my plate. I'm just just sitting next to you.

So I'll pull my chair around. You know what I mean? And sit next to them and then just eat that a little bit. You make fun, have fun. It sounds fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fun, right? He's another thing I do, and this is a great thing. I walk away a lot.

You leave them. No, no. What I do is I do this. So if they go, if they make fun of my body, right? Are you going to date with me? What are you talking about? Yeah, sometimes they make fun of me like, God, you're fat, right? I'll go out.

You son of a bitch. And I'll walk away, like, I'm leaving the restaurant. Sometimes I'll even just leave. Right. Come back, and we have a good laugh about it. That's fun. So it's an interesting time with you. I mean, it's very communal.

You're eating the same food. you go to the car, you come back. Bastia is a place? Bastia? No one's going to be bored with him on a date. Yeah. Yeah. Can you, look, I'll be annoying for two seconds. Is there any, I probably not,

but is there any Scorsese stories that you can share at all? I have a Scorsese story. I don't feel like the patchy one, but move on. Pesci. Whatever. I'm going to get invited to the trailer. Not petchy. Yeah, this was before that.

Okay. So we're going to do the scene in the Copa Cabana, myself, De Niro, and Peschi. I made it. So cool. And I didn't know what to expect. I don't know if you guys go through this prior to a new TV show or a new movie that you're going to do. It's like a first. You mean Farts Part 3?

What are you talking about? I do shit movies. Yeah, our resume is not. Yeah, it's not like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You guys done movies where you're popping in. Maybe. Yeah, okay.

Maybe not there the whole movie. Like whackamol. We're whack. And they go away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. We've been in there. Yeah, well, yeah.

Go ahead. So I feel for me, it's like a school. And I'm an exchange student coming in in the middle of the year. And everybody's friends are ready. And I have to kind of make friends with the, I know. The what? I said you can relate. I relate to this situation.

Okay. Because he literally had the same thing happen. to him. Okay. Yeah. That's why I feel when I come in on these like two, three days or whatever I'm doing. May interjects, I know it's your story. No, no, go ahead. But also it's like the highest level of that. You know what I mean? I mean, these are like

this is Harvard. This is... Yeah, I grew up watching mean mean, mean, tax driver, you know what I mean? Raging Bull. I mean, all of it. This is like you're a new student at MIT. I can't imagine the pressure and the nervousness. I just can't imagine it. But go on. Imagine at MIT they're building a fucking rocket and you walk in the room and they all just turn and then go right back to work.

That's what in my mind is what it is. I would feel like nothing. Yeah. They're like, oh, he's fucking here. Well, I think this is the problem with us is we create this situation that doesn't even exist yet. Oh, yeah. Fear, false evidence appearing real.

Yes. So I went in with the expectation of questioning myself, do I belong here? What am I doing? I'm a comedian and I'm working with these two guys. So the rehearsal is just Scorsese, De Niro, and Peschi, and myself. And we're going over the scene. And I didn't know what to expect.

I didn't know if they were going to be, you know, in their own world. But they were very gracious. Hey, how are you doing? De Niro had to come up to me and say, good things. Good things. Oh, okay. Maybe he knows what I'm doing.

So I felt kind of like, okay. That's a nice positive thing. I know. And then I do the scene, cut, and they all get together in a huddle. And I'm not in a huddle. Oh, God, I'm thinking, this is it. I'm going home. Yeah.

They didn't like what they saw. They had second guesses. But again, I'm negative in any of my thoughts. I give you a decision to happen to me today. I got an email from a doctor, and I'm going to go over some blood work. they said, can we move the appointment from 1015 to 10 o'clock? I surmised that they need an extra 15 minutes to tell me I'm going to die. I say that.

So that's where my head is constantly. Yeah. So in this situation, I thought I was done. It was over. And then obviously that was not the case. I, you know, we worked out the scene over and over again, and it turned out great. And then, you know, Scorsese ended up in between shots. It was like, it was like 50 minutes to set up the shot.

Basically kind of sat with myself and not even the main cast, just the other actors that were there, telling us how we grew up in New York, laughing, telling jokes. Thanksgiving was around the corner. You started talking about his, you know, Thanksgiving plans. And at moments, I'm sitting there going, man, this is a guy that, you know, to your point, watched growing up, watched all of his movies, was kind of an icon in filmmaking, the fact that he came from an Italian-American background, and now, you know, he's sitting there telling me he's going where he's going for Thanksgiving.

I was, it was a really nice moment. So I think the point of the story is sometimes we create something and we think that maybe we don't belong, but truly we do belong and you just have to kind of believe in yourself and your abilities but may I add we still don't belong I'm gonna stick with that

with our side of it we're not in we're on the outside but yeah yeah but can I say this though window watching there are times though like because you know with the little work I've done I've still worked with Ben Kingsley

I did a scene with him I did a scene with Ed Norton I've done a scene with the recent new movie coming out with Kate Blanchett and Jamie Curtis and everybody and you build it up into your mind. I remember like the first time I was doing borderlands. I was in Hungary, Budapest.

And I remember I get a call like, yeah, Eli wants to meet you on set. I wasn't shooting for a week. He wants to meet you right now. I don't know why. They urgently drive me there. And I walk on to set and they're all there. Like, hey, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, everybody.

And then Eli comes out. He goes, hey, I just wanted to meet you, man. Thanks for doing it. He gave me a hug. everyone was super nice. Like, hey, we're going to have dinner. And I just, you know what I mean? And then in my mind, I'm like, oh, they're just regular people.

But in our minds, we build it up to this thing where it's like, don't lock eyes with them or you might go, you know what, you may be out, you know? And you hear some of these nightmare stories, you know, you've heard it before. But it's like, that hasn't really been my experience. I just, you know, you too, right? When you're with Zach, Ephron and John Cena, I mean. Those guys never talk to me. Not one word.

The whole filming. Yes, they did. You went to Russell Crow's house. Yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so are you on set the comic relief? Are people coming to you? Are you, Mr. like, personality?

With that movie was a comedy. And so, yeah, and Pete Fairley and I were, like, you know, I would stand around him and just, we would pitch each other jokes. I mean, that was like a, I've never done a serious film in my life. So I don't know. I don't know what that would feel like to do like a real. For me, it's everything I've touched is like a goofball. It's wacky. So it doesn't, there is no pressure in that.

regard but that's an interesting point because Scorsese it's out of our it's not in our world right it's like you have you're you're playing with the greatest actors ever to live you know mean I mean and I grew and I know you you're a comedy star comic I saw you the first time you ever went up remember that remember that one time you came over with that one line for that HBO show was I had something with a plane or something and we rehearsed it over it was it was only that condo on Beachwood, right? And I'm like, you're going to get this sad. You didn't get it.

And I remember you being kind of bummed you didn't get it, right? But my point is that, so this is the world you come from. So I guess, you know, in many ways, it's a little different what dealing with Scorsese in that way, I think. The pressure is a little bit more, I think. Well, because, yeah, his pedigree is so, you know. Yeah. Not to say that these other people, we work like Eli are fairly. I mean, they're legends in their own worlds, but Scorsese is fine.

He's the top. of his own. Like Tarantino, Scorsese, maybe, I don't know, Oliver Stone, I don't know. Spielberg? Spielberg. I mean, there's like five or six of them that are like that. Well, you're not, I didn't mention your name. I'm sorry. John Krasinski, if? I think he's coming up, dude. He'll be right next to Scorsese one day. I think he's very talented. Shut up. Scorsese. John Corsesky's got the talent. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is bananas. It's not banana. I don't want to do this debate again. We're not doing any of it. Yeah, please.

I just work with him. I know you did. And he is very talented. I know. I know. But Scorsese. But listen, here's the Scorsese. Here's another story. Go ahead.

Scorsese wants to see your wig. I was wearing a wig in the movie. Put the wig on and I'm waiting to go in. This is the first meeting I'm ever going to have with this guy. I walk in, sit down, and he starts talking about movies from the 30s, 40s. This guy's like a movie savant, right? I haven't seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm trying to figure out how do I hop out of this and get into, it's like someone talking about the Beatles. I just didn't know the movies he was talking about. So I go, what could we connect on kids? So I just had a kid at the time. So we started talking about kids, family, whatnot. I walk out and the wig person knows, what do he say? But the wig, I go, I think he thinks it's my hair.

There was no mention of the wig. No, not the wig just talked about movies and kids, and then I walked out, and, you know, apparently the wig was okay, but, um, yeah, I don't know how to, uh, navigate those types of conversations where I'm in the, I feel like I'm at a disadvantage. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, when I did that movie, I hungry, when I, the shoes and what I said, mm-hmm. So I was, I show up to Budapas, I don't know anybody. And my agents were like, no one's going to hang out with this shoe. You have a month. they're alone. You're going to be alone.

So I show up to my fucking hotel room and we're at the Four Seasons in Budapest and there's a letter on my bed. Dear Bobby, you know, I don't know you, but can you want to have lunch tomorrow at noon? It was by Jamie Lee Curtis. A huge fan, right?

So my God, I couldn't sleep that night. I was like, what am I going to say? I got to do something. I think I'd rewatch Halloween or so I don't know what the fuck I did. Right? And I show up, pleasant lunch. then some of the other actors show up and Jimmy goes I want to show you guys something

that's very important here in Budapest so we walk over to the river and along this river there's these bronze shoes that are kind of like cemented into the fucking ground and it's you know she explains during Nazi Germany

the Germans came in here and they killed a lot of Jews and they threw them over the end of the river so one of the actors Cheyenne Jackson goes oh no no these are baby shoes right

and like a fucking moron I go it could have been a minute well this is this is reminiscent of Travolta yeah right

and then the whole group walked away from it yeah and I went and it didn't get a laugh and I went oh yeah you're not at the store

right you know I mean so I have to literally like go this is Bobby you know me in a movie this is Bobby amongst comics

and it's that kind of stuff that keeps you out of Mitsy's office at the end of the day. That's kind of an law. I think that's what it is. That's really good. Yeah, I think that's what it is. That kind of stuff.

So I did read that wrong. It's a bad joke. It's a bad joke. But also, you were trying to lighten the movie. I was trying to be funny. Give it some levity. Even if I was at the comedy story. It wouldn't have landed.

It wouldn't land it. But that's because you're nervous. Yes. I'm nervous. I'm like, I want people to like me. You know what I mean? I told you. I had, I've said this on here,

but we've told you. this story but the same thing I had when Jim Carrey was my boss and I'm dying up here and we were eating and uh conversation was going great it was about comedy so we're in our zone you know I mean like it was per it was like we're ping pong and I was like holy shit he's telling me guys he loved I'm saying bits that I love from guys from back in the day and we're going back and forth back and forth then there's like a little lull and I was like so where are you like where are you living these days and he was like everywhere man where is everybody living and I was like Fuck.

Fuck. And it was an inescapable. I don't get what he's saying, though. He's trying to say, dumb question. I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to tell you where I fucking live. Yeah. It was like none of your business.

A nice way of being like none of your business a little bit. Not that he wasn't so gracious. I think it was a way of being like, I don't really talk about where I live to people. Do you know what I mean? In his mind, he could have done like a Brentwood kind of a thing. I think he was just goofing around a little bit,

but it was a little like, hey, come on. Yeah. We're not, we're not going to get close. You know what I mean? He was kind of like saying, like, this is the last dinner. Like, do you text Robert De Niro or no? No. So after you did two movies with him, yeah.

He played your dad in, what's it, the family? About my father, yeah. About my father. Right. And after the premiere, after all that, you never talked to him again. There might have been one exchange of a text message, but no, we didn't. We didn't have that type of relationship We did the scene

He sat down at his chair And I don't know Opened up a no boo And I was learning my wife Wow So there was never like Hey you want to grab a bite after this? No

Wow no It wasn't like that Those guys also are the age gap They're settled in their ways They've been doing this for so long They probably like a system A lot of those guys They like it their way

They kind of want to Yeah but I'm doing The pitch today right I was like What actors do you think? And I'm lowball, like people I can get. How about the guy that's on NCIS or whatever it might be, right? The eighth lead, right?

I mean, for him to go, De Niro is insane. Yeah, it's wacky. Did you ask him personally or you went through agents and stuff? No. We, the producer of our film had worked with Robert before, and he reached out to him and said, hey, I got a script you might well like. He read it. We got wind from his team that he really enjoyed it.

and he wanted to read it out loud, get it up on its feet around with a bunch of actors. So studio hired a bunch of actors in New York. We all sat around on tables. You flew to New York. Yeah. For a table room.

No, he walked. No, he walked to New York. To fly to a city for a table room, you would do that? If Robert fucking De Niro. You're right, you're right. You're right. Goes, hey, kid, I need you in the Maldives

in an hour and a half on your own dime. I'd be like, I will fucking rent a private jet, Robert De Niro. What level would you not do it? Let me throw some actors. Carrie Always. From a Princess Bride. I do love him.

He's great. I need you in New York right now. And I would say, my sweet Wesley, I'm on my way. You would say yes to Carrie Always. I don't know, man. What's the project? It's a great movie. What is it?

It's a movie about... Do it in a British accent. Hello? It's a movie about... He's English? Carrie Elways is English I thought his name's Carrie

Yeah I thought it was a woman You don't know who Carrie Always is No Oh yeah yeah He's British he's British He didn't have what in the Princess Bride Oh interesting

So his accent was different in a movie Than it is in real life I didn't never seen an interview room So I don't know Right So what about What if Seb called And asked me to do something for him

And he goes I have a table read in New York Tomorrow will you fly to New York Yeah that's not even That's come on What are we talking about? That's a no No. No, it's 100% of yes.

I don't know what I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. I think, who's in it? Okay, I'll fly to New York for you. God, you'd have to think about it. No, I would, fuck yeah, dude, anything for him. So what are you plugging now? You have a movie coming out or what is it?

What's going on there? So smooth. No one does it better. Nobody flows better. I look at the numbers and they're fine. So I'm doing something right. No, no, I know. I'm saying it really.

You shouldn't. I love you so much. I love you more than you. Okay. How long have you been doing this podcast? Four, five, how many years? Four years. Four and a half years?

How many episodes? Four long years. Four long years. How many episodes are we on, fans? 223. 223. Has there been, was there a moment in your podcast? It was like a tipping point where you're like, wow, we're off to the races.

We got a beautiful fan base. Or is this something that was a gradual build and kept onboarding? people. When did you know you were popular? Episode one. The first one? No, I would say, I say this was a confluence of, you know, not to give like the backstory, but the truth really was Bobby relapsed and his dad had died and I was with him dealing with it, filling in for him on his other show with his ex at the time. And so I did a bunch of fillings. And then we had a personal situation where I wanted him to get help and then he was like when I get out I think we should start that show that we had joked about starting and when he got out was like funnier and healthier

and happier than he'd ever been on the heels of tragedy of his father and we started the show in a little bullshit studio like a piece of shit cockroach infested it was fucking gross and right away we were having so much fun fucking with each other and then COVID hit. And so it was like... Perfect timing. And then that, anyway. No, but it was just like the harmony. The first episode was wacky, insane. And when we put it out, people were like,

oh, yeah, this is, we've been wanting these. Because the fans had said they should, we should get together for years. But also we, um, I had this YouTube show called Talking. Yeah. I did that interview show and he was one of the guys. And I just, I always thought that that one was my favorite one. The way he just, just hid the, we kind of rode the edge together in a weird way. Yeah. Just back then people started being like, why don't these two idiots get together? And over the years, we joked about something.

And then, to be honest, Kalila, his ex was, she put, she was like, why don't you guys do it? And we were like, I don't know, I have no idea. And truth be known, and I'm going to say something that's not funny and honest, is that, you know, because I know about Simon and Garfunkel and Wham, they all broke up, right? It's, it's egos, right? So for me, it's like, I'm, he's the captain of the ship. Stop. No, stop, stop. I'm being honest right now.

Stop it. I'm not stopping anything. You know, I just, he's the responsible one. No. Yes. Well, responsible, but that's- And also, I give you a lot of the decision-making, I feel like. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so my point being is that. I have to because you're sleeping. I know, exactly. You're right. But you know what I mean? But it's like, sometimes I'm awake. And even in those times I'm awake, right? I go let Andrew do this.

You know what I mean? And so I think there needs to be like my ego, you know what I mean, it's not an ego thing with us. I think that's what's helped. Like when he's, when he did that movie, you know, with the peer, the Fairley Brothers movie or Featherly movie, I filled in with them. And I was, the first time in my life, I was like so happy for somebody and going, yeah, you know, I'll take care of our home until you come back. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's the first situation where there's no ego and I'm just happy, we're happy for each other. and we get along for the most part, I think.

Well, when you, you know, you and Pete are old friends, right? Well, yeah, it kind of, I didn't know you guys were that tight. First of all, I didn't know that you fell off the wagon. Several times. I only have two and a half years now. I've put him in rehab three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Three times.

Oh, wow, I didn't know that. Yeah, I almost died. Wow. This FF, FII. Okay. Yeah, man. For your information? For your information.

Or for FM. I mean, so anyway, yeah. Yeah, we've been through kind of the, I guess, the ringer. So there's a history there. Yeah, no, Pete and I have known each other for 12 years. And kind of the same thing. There was no tragedy or anything like that. But we, uh,

it wasn't going to be funny. I like it. It was so tragedy. But, yeah, we started our show years, years ago. And I've just always found it interesting how these things become what they are. Yeah. And it's always nice to start it with somebody that you already have

kind of like, nobody put you two together and said, you guys, you kind of... Well, I will say, I think that this is, but this is things that you know from stand-up that like this show kind of exemplifies

as like the fans, it's so much fun to fans send it. All this is fan art. We interact with them a lot. It just becomes kind of like this family. And whenever we do the live shows, he kind of reiterates that that it's like, it really is, feels like a family.

It's fucking weird. I feel like we all know each other, it feels like it's no i've seen the videos like you guys are out there it's wild proud you're interacting i think that helps the rhythm of it a little and you also meet them before the shows we do like a meet and greet and stuff like that and it's like it it's shocking to see the the age range and um we have people bring their like 13 year old sons yeah the walk of life you know are different like some people are affluent some people are more like us you know i mean gritty i mean it's it's a it's a great combination of people it's it's shot old ladies when we get when we get someone you

who looks like they would go to your show, meaning someone that's like well-dressed. Like, yes, we got one. Yeah. When we get like a well-dressed, someone that we know like valets, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We always go, holy fuck, a Sebastian fan is here to find. That's how we seriously feel. Let me ask you this. Because, you know, lately I've been doing, I'm not headlining these things, but, you know, you do these big amphitheatery kind of shows. I know you're used to that,

but like, you know, I did one with Bert and Tom, was like 15,000 seats, you know, and then I'm going out with fully loaded this Thursday, they're pretty big arena, you know, and even when I'm on stage, it doesn't, I don't feel like it's a club, I feel like it's not as fun really.

Do you like the bigger rooms? Because it seems, it's not that fun. You like it? I mean, if I had a nice small theater, 1,500 seats. I like the Wynn Hotel where I perform in Las Vegas. 1,500 seats, nice, intimate. Is it, is a nice room.

I love that room. Yeah, comedy club. Yeah, you're there. Yeah. Comedy clubs, great. I love comedy clubs. But you get into an arena, it, you know, it loses some of the, you know, intimacy that you would, that you wouldn't really see at a smaller place. But it's exciting, you know.

There's another feeling that you get when you don't do a theater or in a club. It's like the energy of, you know, 15, 20,000 people screaming. But in your head, are you, I mean, for me, sometimes it's like, I'm on stage in front of that many people, I'm like, do I belong? You're like, what the fuck is going? Like, I don't even accept that like this is even a real thing. Do you know how big you are is what I'm asking? Yeah, that's a weird question probably.

But if anywhere I feel comfortable is being on stage in front of three people or, you know, 20,000 people. To me, it's, that's the one place I feel like I'm comfortable. Have you ever done a show like that for three people? Like a corporate? Not, not, I love corporates, by the way. Yeah. But I've done those, those shows at the comedy star to speak to what Bobby was saying. When I first came there, I got like these, you know, 12, 31 o'clock spots.

Right. So that, that's terrible. Terrible spots. Yeah, yeah. I did a corporate for five, five adults. Five people. Was it planned for five or five showed up? Now, he had a, there was a day.

I can't mention the names, but I'll tell you afterwards. But he had a tough day, canceled the party and decided to keep just the three. four other confidants with him and I still had to perform and I could say no because the check cleared so I was like okay good money huh pretty good money yeah I was yeah well I fucking did it yeah yeah was this at a home or a banquet hall was at a resort wow in a banquet room in a restaurant at the resort that they had this man owns the resort which is even more it's like all his so he sent everyone home and I was like okay and I I grabbed the the arm of the girl who was like liaisoning me.

Like they gave me like a house and I was in the house hanging, watching TV, eating a great meal. I was just so excited. I think I call my dad. I was like, I'm having a fucking weekend, man. This is amazing.

Then we get in a golf cart. We go to the restaurant and I grab her elbow like a scene out of a sitcom. I go, what's going on? I was like, how is this? And she goes, change your plans. It was a tough day. I think he just wants to keep it intimate

and it's just going to be the boys. they just ate, they want to drink and laugh, and then they're going to smoke cigars around the fire pit, if that's okay. I was like, well, it's not okay. But it's over. I'm sure, like, what could I have done? And so then, you know, I had to, I mean,

I worked out because I was just, I just talked to them. I mean, I just was goofing with them. Just basically having a conversation, but you're standing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And his friend was a fan, it was his birthday. So I was kind of like a, the other guys had no clue who. I mean, the other guys were like, what the fuck is this guy? Yeah, yeah.

It didn't matter. I was just, but that was the most uncomfortable I felt in all my years. You did the full time? I think I probably was up there for 30 or 40. I was just goofing. I would do 12. At 12, I'd like, hey, you usually do 12. That's not a big shift.

I'm sorry, it was funny. Come on. That's good. It's a slam. I've had people at clubs when I go to clubs sometimes go. Bobby was here a couple years ago. You know, he did 17 minutes. I'll tell you why.

Can I tell you what? Let me defend myself. May I defend myself? If I'm not feeling it, I'm not doing it. Okay. Yeah, but there's a... Stop. Let me finish, okay?

Somebody, and I don't know who, came up with these rules. The feature... MC does this now. Feature does this, right? And this and that. And my thing is, is like, fuck the rules, all right? If I'm not feeling it, and it's not going well,

I don't want to make everyone suffer through an abomination. It's never going to be an omnis. I know, but in my mind it is. So I'm like, you know, at 17 minutes. And that only happened like twice in my life. Right, you know what, guys? You win.

I'm out. You know what I'm? You're headlining and you do 17 minutes? Yeah. And what are the people? There's a riot? No, there's a riot. They just kind of, it's weird.

They get up slowly like, is it over? You're right? And then the waitress just freak out because they haven't put the checks down. Right. So I think one time I went out and go, hey, guys, wait for your checks. Just talk amongst yourselves.

Fuck you. I'm out. You know what? And that was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. It's true. That's an unbelievable.

And then the manager comes back there and they go, 17 minutes, huh? I go, yeah. And that's it? And they go. It doesn't matter. They're going to pay you anyway because no one got the refund. Right? And it's a door deal.

So fuck it. Only a couple times that happens. Okay. Couple. Yeah, yeah. McCone, do yourself a favor right now since you've been so quiet and polite. Why don't you say something nice to our guest because I know you're a fan. So you can go say something nice.

And that's it. I mean, it's just... That'll be it. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's it. You give him a little bit. You don't want to run too far. And we know what you meant, but that.

We do. We do. And so, wow, that's good. I mean? I will say... Can we go to the plug now? Because he hasn't out. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

We'll make sure you get gone. Let's get the plug. Well, don't say it like that. Oh, let's do it in an organic way, then. No, listen, I'll do it. Can I just try? No, let him do it. We can edit it so we feed off it from a cone.

It's so good to see you, man. What you got coming up? Well, okay, you can keep that, but then when we're going through the tape, let's see how this works. You want two versions? Yeah, two versions. All right, so.

Show them both. Okay, go ahead. Well, I'm going to do my version. Yeah, go ahead. That's what I'm saying. Go ahead. What the fuck? So, you know, being on one of the top podcasts in the world, right? I just see it fitting since you have a podcast listening audience to let them know that I have a podcast as well. It's called the Pete and Sebastian show, which we referred to earlier.

It's myself and Pete Corialli. Sometimes we do the guests. Sometimes we have a fun banter like you guys are doing. right now. He's kind of like a beer and peanut guy. I'm a wine and cheese guy. So kind of an odd couple vibe. On top of that, I just got done filming a show called Bookie, which is on Max, season two.

Season two. So if you guys like gambling and comedy kind of marries the two. And last bit of least, I have a tour that starts in Norfolk, Virginia, July 11th. which is 94 shows over eight months. Wow. Wow. Jesus. It ain't right.

And Pete's going with me. Pat McGahn's going with me. Wow. And we're going to rip through the United States and have a ball. So that's kind of what's going on in my life. But I couldn't be more grateful that you guys asked me to come here and do your show. And it's just a pleasure to see all your success and hard work paying off. one last thing class one last thing though and i tell you something distracted me i didn't do the i

thing i didn't do the i think no no something else you did oh is it me what the fuck doing i tell you what it was throwing me off a little bit was the white fingernail polish i don't know if it's polish or paste or what the hell you got but i was thrown off many of times with the white fingernails Is that your new look? What is that? I haven't seen that from you. Yeah, yeah. You haven't seen a lot of things.

Do you get those dark? From where I'm sitting, that looks like a sat and finish. It's gels. Right? No, I'm talking about the others. You're going to buffed out? I got buffed out, yeah. Okay.

Yeah. And it's so funny that you bring it up, Sam, because I learned to do manicurors from you. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, he wants credit. So it's very interesting that something that I learned from you. It's like, you know, that commercial, son, you know what is this?

Marijuana. Where'd you learn it? From you, dad. Right. Right. So I learned that this behavior from you and yet you try to use it against me in a weird way. Don't lean back. Lean back.

No. Please lean back. It's aggressive and lean back a little bit. Okay, thank you. All right. What's up, dude? I'm flattered that you started taking. care of your hands. How about your feet?

He's going to show you their polished as well. They're polished as well, Sebastian. You asked for it. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, listen. I did, I did, might have had some influence on you getting 100% manicures and pedicures. But for the record, I'd never had anything other than a clear coat or a buff. But you can't buy your kid of guitar and be shocked when he becomes a rock star, you know?

You're showing him the ropes. True. The kid's got to, he's got to fly for it. It gave me like a... You gave your son of a ukuley, and he learned how to play the electric guitar, and now that's what he's doing. That's what he's doing.

I thought it was tape at first. Almost like Michael Jackson, like... Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's not that. Yeah, it's not that. It's gel. Okay, I don't know what the fuck that is, right?

But anyway, dude... You know, I've never had one? Yeah, man, don't do that. Okay. I also want to... Let's just throw this out. You want to get fucking beat up after the show? Anyways, thanks for this thing.

Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you.