Bad Friends - The Rock's Oscar

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

Get Tickets To the Bad Friends Live Stream: https://www.momenthouse.com/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://hellofresh.com/badfriends16 code: BADFRIENDS1...6 & http://buyraycon.com/badfriends & https://www.mycrodose.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Watch Our Live Stream Until Friday 1:37 Doc is sick... again 8:12 Top Gun and Black Shazam  12:25 The Rocks Brings Down Weight to 70 Pounds 24:23 Mongo and Rangi   27:47 Our Youngest Fans Sing "Daddy Why You Die" 30:50 You Think Your Life is Tough? 36:21 Tom Hanks Couldn't Do "Philadelphia" Today 49:30 Fancy's New Film "American Carnage" 58:11 Bobby and Andrew Call Doc 1:05:19 Bobby's New Revelation More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, the moment house live episode we did is only around for a couple more days Couple more days you can go to moment house comm slash bad friends moment house comm slash bad friends You can see the live episode we did and look on look the review people loved it was it's one of our best episodes of all time Thousands and thousands of people love now you can they watch it again or you can read if you watch it originally You can replay it as many times because you buy if you buy it you can rewatch it Yeah, and it's only available for a couple more days. I think maybe till the end of the week Yeah, but go to moment house comm slash bad friends The link is in the description below watch the live so we can do more of those lives because we had so much fun
Starting point is 00:00:49 Doc doc we're gonna give you a vaccine so you don't get sick anymore doc Oh, my mom's here how much did you sell a gram of crack for? Don't come off Masha'sa Don't come off Masha'sa Don't come off Masha'sa
Starting point is 00:01:14 Don't come off Masha'sa You two are bad friends Who are these two idiots? Why dude? I'm an Asian dude You two are disgusting Who are you two or something? We're bad friends
Starting point is 00:01:36 Announcement Another episode of bad friends we Boom, we had a we had a schedule, you know, we have a schedule we booked, you know people that do our podcast It's kind of like not a big deal, but you know, it's a big deal. It's a big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal You know, we give them a platform. Yeah, right. We don't have a lot of people come on speaking of a guy that definitely needs platforms, right? Figuratively literally. Yeah. Yeah doc Willis decided once again to not show up today 10 minutes before we're shooting. He's sick not with COVID but with a mysterious illness because fancy. What did he say? Allegedly he ate something bad. So we took him to a fancy restaurant
Starting point is 00:02:18 This is who doc Willis is in San Diego like eights of steakhouse high-end high-end steakhouse, right? On the same night that of my show where he did 35 exactly when he's supposed to do 10 five five seven. Yeah, yeah, and And we just found out that um, he snuck away from the steakhouse and went to 7-eleven and got there to keto He does right and those are like 45 cents. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, we bought him an $85 $85 t-bone steak Right. So so he's sick with stomach flu or something. Yeah. No, so he says he eats terribly. Do you believe it? Do you believe that he's sick? I well, because I got to tell you something. Oh, come on. Do you know I'm sick? He's alcohol poisoning sick. Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:03 From wine. Yeah. Yeah, let's see what he's got to say something for himself Let's get mad be mad Let's drill him Are you calling now now you call him now if you call him consecutively now he'll know like something's up I know but if he picks up with me, would you be mad or not? Yeah, you got to drill him Oh, would I be upset that he picked up for you? Yeah No, because uh, he's probably not wanting to answer but then he sees if we both called he thinks something's going on Okay, here we go. Well, let's leave a message
Starting point is 00:03:32 A harsh one. Okay. Good. Yeah But I feel like I'm gonna go hard and then you're gonna back off. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm gonna go hard too But you want me to open though? I'll I'll open you're calling. Okay. What's up, fam? Leave a voice man doc will is just leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible You know doc, um a couple years ago when I was doing this podcast with Andrew, um I thought, you know what dude? You popped into my head. I'm like, I'm gonna help this fucking guy out, man I'm gonna put them on my popular fucking podcast and I want to resurrect or whatever. You know what I mean? And we've done you a fucking favor, dude
Starting point is 00:04:08 We put you on our podcast at your family and let me say something to you, man. You fucking betray us, bro Bro, when we book you, right, please fucking show up, man You would show up to amazon or whatever that fucking warehouse that you fucking work at you would show up for like your fucking Fat pussy Right, what you know, right? You would show up to a liquor store if they were gonna close at two in the fucking morning, dude What you your little tummy hurts, bro? You fucking Fuck ass fight face
Starting point is 00:04:46 Hey, buddy, uh, I hope you're uh getting better. Uh, get well soon. We'll see you soon. Love you, bro I mean we gave it to him We hammered that guy. I'm telling you we gave that guy something to think about bro. Let me tell you something Dude, I was not a joke. He's gonna remember that now for the rest of time. I have to call him back now What are you talking about? I had to call him back now. What are you talking about? I had to call him back now. No, we hammered him. No, no, no, you didn't I look like an asshole. No, no, you said that you would fucking do it with me Dude, you were beating him up and then I came in at the end and I got good cop back cop. Yes. No
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yeah, yeah, but we're not police officers. I cried. Well, they defunded us, but I gotta tell you We had we we manhandled him right there. No, no, no. This was like he was rodney king I was the guy hitting him, right and you're at the fucking I drove back to the station Yeah, you're back at the station. Are you snarking on us? Well, because I was like what they're doing is wrong I don't like what's going on out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I gotta call him back. That's fucking bullshit, dude Oh, you want me to hammer him now? Yeah hammer on. Okay I'm gonna give it to him now. He's gonna answer on this at this point No, I'm just gonna apologize. You don't have to hammer him. No, we should hammer him again
Starting point is 00:05:56 No, no, I'm because you're gonna open it. You want no you go ahead and do do do what you have to do Do what you think is right. I don't know why you think you need to call him back I think we got no, I know because the thing is I sound like an asshole. I think he's gonna feel literally bad about He's probably gonna watch the episode and know that you're that you're just teasing But you should leave like a heartfelt real message a hammer him up for like hammer him up top. No, no, I already hammered You reach dark will is the message and I get back to you. We're gonna be so sad if we found out like he's dying. Yeah, yeah Anyway, I'm sorry You know, that was a little too far
Starting point is 00:06:34 um I hope you're a little belly You're a little better And you know, if you need anything I'm busy, but I could suggest pepto-bisma and modium ad Call me if you need anything you can call me and andrew wants to say something You're fired Yeah, but get better doc willis. We hope he's better. The guys literally had cove it more times than I thought you could get cofe Yeah, I didn't think you could get it more than four times. I'm not joking. I've never even heard that
Starting point is 00:07:07 I read an article. I don't think you can how many times what's the maximum amount of time somebody's gotten cofe for real? Yeah Because honestly, I bet you the ceiling is like three and they're like after that you didn't get it again. Yeah You can get cofe it up to what? People have yeah multiple times. Yeah, what's the most times people have gotten cofe it with the most the the most somebody's gotten cofe it I just I was on the phone with uh Joe de rosa he 43 43 is not real. That's not real. There's no way that's it positive 43 times. Yeah, okay, okay, okay But yeah, that's not yet. Yeah, but that's still a lot Dave's
Starting point is 00:07:44 He's driving this look at him and he's still smiling. He lost an eye because of it. Yeah, look at him poor guy Yeah, go down a little bit. Let me see what it says there Dave 72 Is a driving instructor and a musician who spent the last 10 months with an active coronavirus infection visiting hospital seven times His immune system was vulnerable to the virus after leukemia diagnosis and came with the great. So he's sick This is sad. This is sad. So he just had he just had 72 times in one gigantic covid I think he just did it like he probably did like 41 day and then 32 the other day, right? He just kept testing over and over. Oh my god, bobby lee bobby lee what? Top gun you saw it. Let
Starting point is 00:08:20 Let me say this top gun. Yeah Not kidding the best movie I've seen action movie. I've seen in years in Years, I told you, right? No, I know but dude. It's so good beyond. Yeah miles teller fucking amazing You're cemented forever as one of the best actors to ever live. Yeah. Yeah, the kid is done. He did it. Yeah He could quit now and be after fantastic four stick I mean, I know fantastic four stick one of the worst movies. Yeah, but what else would even was good whiplash phenomenal Amazing. I hit it out of the park. Yeah. Yeah, very talented guy, but yeah top gun was top gun was so good Yeah, that I'm not kidding. I did this during some of the performance. Yeah, get him
Starting point is 00:08:58 Shoot him. Yeah, dude. It was the dog fights. I was just so locked in No, I because you know, I always go to the fancy one. So I do the chair thing me too Right, I go the chair and I go lean back right for top gun I didn't I lent I didn't lean it back and lean forward and I was leaning forward like that the whole time Yeah, that's so dope and if I if tom cruz's dick was right here, dude Yeah, I would have sucked it. Did he what is this? I want to be a scientist. What are we playing this in the middle of a thing? Hold on. Hold on Oh, can we do this conversation and do you do the clip fancy is on the same? He's he is gonna get fired
Starting point is 00:09:32 Yeah, what is going on with you guys? All right? I don't know No, top. Let me say this tom cruz. I'm I am dead serious. I'm I will join Scientology I will join Scientology. Did he did he do a welcome thing in your movie? Yes, and it made me smile Yeah, and we all cheered the theater. I've never seen that before. Well, hello. I'm tom cruz. He goes. Hey, we did this for you This is all for you and I went me Everyone clapped right. I went me me tom cruz. Yeah for me everyone clapped in the theater literally people like, yeah He's the last movie star He's the last one of the last movie. He's the last action star. Sorry. He is the last action star because if daniel craig is done with
Starting point is 00:10:09 dub 7 Then that's it. Yeah, he really is the last one because the rock doesn't count anymore the rock is uh bigger than he's like a I don't know. He's he's like amazon. He's too big now The rock is the biggest there is he's a movie star But not an action star anymore He's an action star. No, because now when you see the rock and action movies, they're always kitschy like dark shazam or whatever that Movie is. Yeah, they're always kitschy. What's that called? Dark shazam. Black Adam. Black Adam. Oh
Starting point is 00:10:40 That was the alternative name for black adam was dark shazam I literally thought it was dark shazam. The studio was like should we call it dark shazam? Yeah, is that what's called black adam? This is the problem. This is the problem. Yeah. Yeah I had a friend growing up named black adam Um, this is the problem. Yeah with this when you see the rock in films. Yeah, you only see the rock He doesn't transform anymore. Yeah tom cruise still Was maverick in that fucking movie. Yeah when you saw it you were like Mavis back like when I look at it. Oh, is that he Ethan hunt? I don't think that I don't think that but when the rock's on
Starting point is 00:11:13 I go that's that's the rock. I don't care if he's a lawyer He's rock, but he's not a lawyer because a lawyer a lawyer never looks like that That's insane But it doesn't he do some serious movies or no He's never done like a lawyer thing or every time he does like one of these buddy comedies with kevin hard or whatever They do have like sweet moments. Yeah, but he's gotta do I want him to do a movie Where there's no action. This is gonna be the fucking test. He's doing san andreas too. They're doing that one They're banging that one out again another earthquake. Yeah, savage doc savage. Do you know what that is? What?
Starting point is 00:11:43 Doc savage is uh, the man of bronze What? Yeah, the man of bronze. You don't know this. No, this is a this is real. I do know what this is It's a scientist. Uh, created him as like the original superhero It's it's yeah, yeah, they're just another action. They're grasping They're they're digging as deep as they can because like when tom cruises in magnolia. He played, you know, I mean that one unbelievable Right unbelievable not an action movie. Nope. His acting was superb super movie, right? So I think the rock needs to do something like that But can he do what here's the problem is the muscle the muscles are so he's gonna do what he's gonna do
Starting point is 00:12:17 What fucking what's his name did for the machinist? Yeah, he's gonna lose like a hundred. No, he's gotta weigh like 70 pounds Dude if the rock lost got down to 70 pounds, right? Well, I'd be dead and just the movie was called The gnarliest hiv. I don't know Yeah, but hiv city what I don't know what like he's sick. What's another shut? What's another city outside of philadelphia? Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry my bad. Yeah, it could be uh, Baltimore westchester pennsylvania Westchester, I can't say that so just say baltimore ball. Well, you can't say westchester. No, I can't say west chester
Starting point is 00:12:54 Westchester westchester pennsylvania. Anyway, um if he did like, you know got down to 70 pounds No, he can't he could he could he weighs like 300 if he wants an oscar. He can No chance. You just gotta look. You know what he needs to do 260 pounds. Let's say he gets down to 100 pounds Yeah, okay, we'll do that as a producer. I go. Okay. That's the lip. That's like the Highest you can go 125 give him 125 All right, he'll still look bad. He'll look He'll look bad. Yeah. Yeah at 125 and then you think he can get an oscar And then yeah for westchester the movie westchester because that alone
Starting point is 00:13:30 I think that because you know, they'll they'll eat that up the rock gets monkey. He's getting mathiest method, right? Yeah, monkey pox. He gets though. He gets the monkey. He gets the monkey pox, right? And it's eating him alive and so he is in the movie He's used to he is an old action hero who gets monkey pox. He can't fight anymore And no, no, no, he can't he's gotta be no because that's already gonna in my mind is gonna be like, uh, he's still doing Right. So he's still trying, right? So he's got to be something that He's never like we can't even foresee him doing Something out of the box
Starting point is 00:14:02 Like he's like What could he have been doing? Uh, he He has a uh A he's a florist You ever seen the movie the florist? No, really? Have you seen the movie the florist? You never seen this? No Such a good movie. Okay. What are then forget the floor. You never seen the florist? No It's wonderful That's a wonderful film. Okay. Good. Um, I've never I've never seen it. Okay, right?
Starting point is 00:14:29 But it's low but lower post. Give me another job. Now. What's even why can't he be a florist? He works at the airport. He's a baggage handler He's a someone that works at a kiosk in the mall He does. Yeah. Yeah. He does. I know. I know what he does perfumes in Nordstroms He has a kiosk at the mall, but you know what it is. Huh? He does fluffy The Gabriel glacial merch. He sells Gabriel merch. Yeah, he sells Gabriel glacial merch at the mall, right? So he has the bobble head Right and um, so in the movie he
Starting point is 00:14:58 He's still we got to bring him down to 150 in the beginning of the movie. Yeah, right? And then his fluffy losing the weight with him. Are they doing this together as a team fluffy's in it And fluffy has monkey pox Okay, the fluffy has monkey pox. Is that how the rock got monkey pox? Yeah, I fucked him there Yeah, but we're not doing it in a comedic way. What do you mean? Oh, it's love. It's pure love. Okay, because the rock is a huge fan He's character. Let's call him David. No. Why? It's just not all right. Don't give me like a bible name. Give me something else Keto his name is Keto. Keto because that's very islandy What's wrong? He's from the island. What do you mean? He's fucking got Samoan. Vlad. Vlad. Oh, he's russian
Starting point is 00:15:38 Well, just we don't ever explain it. Oh, yeah Vlad, what's his last name? Chayovsky Perez Perez. We do two different All right, so he's russian. He's russian mexico. He's russian spanish. Yeah, because acting so good. Yeah, it's Vlad Perez He's got to be kind of a half mexican because of Gabriel Right, that's how he wants him to circle. He's a huge Gabriel clicks he's fan, right? And he has this and then one day Gabriel's playing some sort of stadium next door Dodger. He's at Dodger stadium. Let's shoot it in la or let's shoot la already here Yeah, yeah, all right. So he's playing Dodger stadium Dodger stadium
Starting point is 00:16:13 But he wants to see how his kiosk is doing He sees he stops by Westfield mall. Yeah in Sherman Oaks. Yeah. Yes No, the mall in West Covina That's even better. Okay, I can believe that. Yeah. Yeah. So Gabriel bounces in Wobbles in or whatever. I don't know how he walks. I think they push him. I think yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, remember how they rolled violet when she got swollen in Billy Wonka and they'd put her over I love Gabriel. So I don't want to make fun of them. I love them. We're just teasing Okay, so he comes in he kind of
Starting point is 00:16:44 rolls in And you know, he's vlog season. Yeah, and he's nervous because that's his idol, right? But then Gabriel There's an attraction instant attraction. He's like, I love this right. He doesn't show up to his gig He he doesn't go to Dodger stadium. So we cut to a scene, right? Everyone's there They're a game right you just cut to right some hotel next to the fucking west Covina And they're it's like a 30 minute love scene. We'll see this listen. It's going Fluffy fluffy fluffy and then and then you know cross cut to fluffy fluffy fluffy
Starting point is 00:17:23 And they're making and they're making love. It's so good. It's all making love. You know what I want to do Yeah, CGI. I should I should direct this, right? You know, I want to do I get to fucking dp it or something. Yeah, you're dp it, right? I want to do a thing. What you know how um, I don't know if you saw fight club, but you know how they zoom in I don't know if you saw fight club Name one guy that's never seen All right, you know if you've seen fly club, you know better, right? Yeah, you know fight club. Yeah, you know fight club, right?
Starting point is 00:17:47 You know how um fincher would zoom into the back of the Refrigerator and you know, man do all those like really intricate. So I want to do that with blood vessels Oh Yeah, so so she's like fluffy fluffy, right and you put the camera inside the mouth and you go and you see the monkey pox Oh, bubbling. You know what I mean? They're bubbling. Yeah You're in there. Fuck a bubble. Wait, what? Are there real monkeys in there? No, but we would use like they would the noise you hear when the monkey pox is spreading
Starting point is 00:18:18 Is monkey noise you know what we do we would slow down real monkey noises Whoa, so they would you know be ambiguous, but you would get what I'm saying. We were it's an inside baseball thing Right, right inside baseball. So we go into the mouth, right? You see the fucking blood vessels Right, and it's coming down Gabriel's, you know, man. It's a long travel. Yeah, I'm that's not a fat jerk It's not a fat seems like it But go ahead it is it is It is so that's a long And even the monkey bites go god, this is
Starting point is 00:18:51 This is exhausting So tight, right? It goes out the penis and into vlad pares. Yeah, the monkey pox the monkey pox, right? and then I don't would do I don't know he's pregnant with the monkey No, because he's just got the no. No, I thought that's how you get pregnant. No, no. Yeah. No, it's not calm And he's a guy that that wouldn't have make any sense. What are you talking about? 2022 papa anything can happen at this point. Okay, you want to incorporate that in? Yeah, I mean make this movie fantasy if we're gonna be fantasy
Starting point is 00:19:22 Okay, how about this then so he gets pregnant with his baby? Here's the cock then and he's like you got to lose all this weight We think he's a guy But he's really a woman transitioning But he didn't get all the parts So vlad is vlad's you know what I'm saying vlad is transitioning into becoming a man Yes, but she still has the women parts so she can he can still give birth right and so I guess gavriel's fucking him from behind Okay, right because he doesn't know there's a pussy there And instead like
Starting point is 00:19:52 This is good stuff The fans are gonna love this How do we get from him not discovering that his dick is in the butthole not the vagina? He can't see it Exactly it's dark Two ways to look at that, but yeah Anyway, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Well, right? So he gets monkeypox and he gets pregnant. Is that what you're saying? Correct. And in order to have the baby the doctor says you need to lose all this weight
Starting point is 00:20:17 And so he then needs to be able to get the whole thing that he was losing because we're we're basing it on filip delphia 2 that he would got sick from the monkeypox And that's what this is a good. I'm creatively open working it out. All right. We're gonna. Okay, so how about a combination right the monkeypox is fucking his body up Right plus the baby Right. Yeah, is fucking his her body hitting the monkey the monkey baby. It's a monkey Oh, yeah, so it's a sci-fi on the bed. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know I know what it is. Here's the air as a director to check it out. Yeah, please director the monkeypox is going through Gabriel's body, right out the penis and it joins up with regular sperm Sure, right. So we see all that the fucking body is going through the baby's body
Starting point is 00:20:59 Sure, right. So we see all that the fucking monkeypox and the sperm colliding Right, like it's a traffic Trap trap. They're merging. They're merging and they one of them They joined together, right and then we go into Vlad's body. Yeah, and you can see this now. It looks like sperm, but it's got hair on it It's kind of like you Yeah, yeah, it looks like it's got hair In fact, I'll do an Andy circus thing and I'll do the fucking green screen style
Starting point is 00:21:31 It's your face. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, you don't even have to do that, but I could do the wiggles Better help life can be overwhelming Andrew Yes, I can and many people are burned out without even knowing it I was burned out many times during COVID and even after that recently I was burned out I had some things happening in my life and I had to turn to better help and get therapy You know symptoms can include lack of motivation my friend irritability fatigue and even more I think I have a lot of these things. That's why I do the other day. I remember I did you were burned out I said I'm burned out. Yeah, I called you. I was bummed
Starting point is 00:22:03 I was super low and I said you got to talk to fancy because I can't listen to his stupid accent anymore That's what he actually said. That's what I literally said, but I got to tell you therapy has helped us Has helped me on a personal note. I I like it I think it's doing something like this is Traditionally cheaper than doing in-person therapy, which I I enjoy a lot and I want to do it from the comfort of my home Because I don't like driving somewhere far away to wait in a waiting office It's customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to that's kind of the best part is that you can choose
Starting point is 00:22:33 Uh, whether you uh, see someone and talk to someone face-to-face. You also can pick a new Uh professional licensed therapist if the one you're assigned isn't working with you It's much more affordable and you can get matched with someone in under 48 hours And listen our listeners are going to get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends That's better h-e-l-p.com slash bad friends. Hello. Hello fresh. Hello fresh. Hello fresh. You know what? I love hello fresh. It makes me feel like a chef Well, because you get farm fresh ingredients delivered to your door. Yeah, and and look I'm not I'm not good at shopping I don't like going to the grocery store cooking, but the directions are very like they lay it right now
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Starting point is 00:24:13 three free gifts That's hello fresh.com slash bad friends 16 and use code bad friends 16 for up to 16 free meals and three gifts Hello, fresh america's number one meal kit. You know that you ever see that movie at the mask jim carry's the mask No, not the jim carry month the um share one With eric stoltz no mask no Oh, I've never seen this movie. Is this it? What happens in this film? Oh that guy that guy. Yeah, that's that's eric stoltz. Yeah. Is he alive? Who the character's not the real guy that's that's based on diets like in the movie. Oh, he does. Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:51 What's his name again? There is a real guy. Yeah, that was based on a real guy that guy That's the guy right there. Yeah, that's the guy right there. It was elephant man, right? Yeah, rocky dennis. No, he's not elephant man Elephant is english What is this guy then? This is elephant man, too The sequel the second one. Yeah, got it. Yeah Yeah, you got that right there I just don't ever want that be nice So anyway, um, yeah, so it looks like me. Maybe we could
Starting point is 00:25:21 It kind of that kind of looks like yeah, so anyway, there's enough qualities I have a I have a like a wide face like that And red hair, okay, we'll talk about that later, but um, we finished the movie Sure. All right, so the baby comes out hair on it, right? Mm-hmm And it could be sort of like a heartfelt moment like like a rocky dennis thing where it's like You know, I mean vlog raising this kid and it could be all about like bullying and we can put Oh fuse all that stuff in there. So that's we're trying to get vlog. We've trying to get we got to get him sent the rock a Fucking oscar here, right? Right. So don't worry about it. Monko
Starting point is 00:25:54 Monko is his name. Yeah, the kids Yeah, maybe I don't know. Well, that's not gonna talk about bullying at all. What that's not gonna help the bullying. Yeah, Monko You named him Monko. Is that too close? I think it's right on the money. Yeah. Oh, it's too close I think you'd have to name them something. Well, you throw out because you're helping you write this. You mean the right Um chimp chimpy chimpy. It's chimpy better rangie rangie rangie rangie. Well, yeah rangie And he has red hair. He's right. Yeah rangie, right? You know, they call us rangas in Australia And in the you know, the kid monkey pox baby little rangie ring a little rangie my bad That is eight years old bullied comes home with a black eye
Starting point is 00:26:29 And vlog could do like hey kiddo. Hey rangie. I mean Dad, can we change my name? I don't like rangie. Why not? I don't know. I just do you don't think he would like that name. No, I'm I'm I'm saying Oh, you're doing dialogue. Yeah, why not? Um, because it seems because the kids make fun of me and you know So That's true fight back. Okay. I will Because I have monkey strength. That's exactly right like a chimp string. You have chimp strength. Whoa No thumbs, but you have strength. You have strength. You have a lot of strength, right?
Starting point is 00:27:03 And then maybe there's a moment where he fights back and and guess what guess who shows up to help him fight The rock the rock So you can fuse in a little bit of the action at the end So the kids getting bullied and the rock shows up right and he literally and I mean we should shoot it this way Yeah beats the shit out of a bunch of eight year olds and I mean like pummels their heads It wouldn't seem because he lost a hundred pound. I mean he's down to a hundred pounds still got it. He's still got it He's still got the rock never loses that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's this movie called? black adam
Starting point is 00:27:39 But let me but let me show you a video that that made me smile that made my heart warm Go ahead. Show them the two little kids. By the way, this is you want to know what kind of fans we have We kind of beautiful fans These are the type of fans we have that let their children sing our songs and my favorite part about this Is listen when it comes up to cuss words and watch their faces It's good Yeah, this is awesome Why
Starting point is 00:28:26 It's awesome, you know, there's let's push pause for a second. There's a woman that that bought the rights to happy birthday No, yeah, that's a public domain. No somebody bought the rights for it. I think seriously I think this is what I heard. I don't know if this is true, but this is what I heard through just rumor That an old lady one day just decides You know, I wonder if somebody bought that or has the rights of happy birthday and then bought the rights and then she makes Warnershepell music previously copyrighted the song in us and collected fees 2015 the copyright came was declared invalid and Warnershepell agreed to pay back 14 million licensing fees for happy birthday to you No one's got it now
Starting point is 00:29:03 But back in the day, I mean in the 50s Anyway, the rumor mill. Yeah, but the thing is um, I want um, maybe you know, I'll let that one go Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, we did we sent a letter to them. They owe us money. Oh, good. Good. Yeah We're bringing a suit, but here's the here's the here's the wild shit They the dad or whoever was like, hey, man, we can't pay this lawsuit because we had said you owe us licensing He said how much? Yeah, and I said, you know how much one of the kids one of the kids Yeah, yeah, because we need some we need some help around here because these guys are these guys suck So, uh, the kid on the right agreed that he can fill in
Starting point is 00:29:40 Um, and the kid on the left is gonna be his assistant. So cool. Cool. Yeah get these fucking guys out of here I don't tell you that right now. These two. Yeah, they're gone. My girlfriend set me something the other day as a joke But I looked it up and it's true. What I want you to I'm gonna show you this And I can't believe I even never knew about this, but it's basically, um So these two were Siamese twins. Have we talked about these two? No, and one of them was gay Hey, what's their name? Oh, but look at Siam. If you think You know if this said if you think your life is bad, these are Siamese brothers Only one of them is they just died. They think they died a couple years. There's only one of them is gay
Starting point is 00:30:26 But they they have to share one ass That's insane, right? Yeah. No. Yeah, I'm true. I looked it up. But one of them is Siamese twins They're Siamese twins. Only one of the brothers was gay. Yeah, so you would just have to be gay at some point Well, you know, I like, you know Is it true? It says, I mean, it's all of a Reddit and stuff. Wait, go down to it. Go down. There's gotta be a real article That's What There's no way this is real
Starting point is 00:31:04 Well, I mean the photo if you look at the photo one guy is making out with another man Well, the other one's just going like the sex life of conjoined twins in the Atlantic Well, what do you would you do? I think about that all the time of like, well, I'm not who's that are you on? What do you mean? Like let's you and I are Siamese twins. I'm the gay one, right? And the way they're attached is they're attached at their hips at their hip, but they're facing each other, right? what's They're constantly facing each other. Wait, how are we facing each other if we share a butt? That's impossible. If we share an ass, we can't be facing each other. That's their look at them. They're look look at these two
Starting point is 00:31:40 They're a conjoined. Oh, right. They're they're what's below. Yeah, they're their ass is below us But when you and I are facing each other, how do you do that? How would you do that? What do you mean? How would you do what? Well, what would you do with that? What so he won't you do? So I'm gay I'm making out with my boyfriend, right? I would expect you to look away That's what my theory is No, I'd be staring right at you guys. No, no, that's none of your business though. You know what? I put like a curtain up Like, you know what I mean? Like I would get a wall of some sort, right? What I would just put on vr headset and disappear. That's what you do. Yeah, if you guys were fucking and I mean, that's like
Starting point is 00:32:17 Well, I wouldn't but that's a thing. Do you have to ask me every time you get it in the ass? Do you have to like ask for permission and being your brother coming in hot? No, no, you got to give me your brother I wouldn't allow it. No spontaneity sex because I don't think they share sensation So nobody would feel it. I think one of the brothers feel it. I think the other one doesn't imagine you're gay And when you get fucking asked only I feel it That's what I'm saying, right? So if you felt the penetration, yeah That would be cruel because I would get nothing out of it nothing Yeah, you'd be not just knowing that your brother's getting fucking the ass isn't that fun enough
Starting point is 00:32:51 Yeah, but you wouldn't want it because you're not gay. I know but you're my you're my brother. We're fighting all the time Yeah, yeah, this is payback for a child. Where does it be? How is their penis? situated Do they must pee? Yeah, of course. I mean, they probably have up one. Maybe they share a penis How when they're we're attached by the torso like you share a penis if we jerk off I I tug once you tug once I tug once you tug once We switch hands. Oh, we had the one penis. Yeah, like I jerk it. Then you jerk. No, no, we would we would switch days
Starting point is 00:33:20 Oh, one day is your day one day is my night your day All right. I think that's that's fair far fine, right? Why so why so far just the visual oh look see they have two penises. Yeah Honestly, yeah, I gotta tell you what? Top gun was the best movie that I've seen. Yeah, and then dress don't watch Jurassic Park And the oh that did a new one. Yeah My friend Jean and I walked out of it terrible. Oh my god. Wait. This is funny. What razzle. You know razzle? Yeah, he was in the theater
Starting point is 00:33:52 When you were there. I know you texted me and I texted Bobby and I was like Hey, why did you walk out of Jurassic Park? Yeah, and you and you wrote how do you know that? It's weird that you would know that. Yeah, and I was it was we walk out and we're about to leave the theater And we're like both of us are just appalled by what we it was that bad. So here's what it was. Did you see it? Yeah, what does it got on tomatoes? Did it make any money though? I bet you made all the money all the money Yeah, so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'm not no I'm happy that they're making the money, but a tank that bad you think it was it was annoyingly bad It wasn't bad in a good way. I could like the dialogue. What's the thing that's bad about no
Starting point is 00:34:27 It's just it was basically two different storylines essentially that was going on And they were merging these two storylines into one storyline at the end or toward the mid end the middle act right and It was annoying to watch that boat and also it just certain scene. They just didn't You know some of the takes, you know, I mean Come on. That's the take you used was like that. Yeah, I felt like that but Pratt's great. I like no, he was great I'm not gonna say anything else, but I don't want to make fun of anybody, but
Starting point is 00:35:00 Um, because I know acting is hard, but it was um 622 million. They're fine. What was the budget you think 300? 400 I mean the budget had to have been fucking I've had at least 200. I would say I would say three plus 185 that's without marketing or anything right, so it's got to be 250. Yeah, here's here's my argument with that That's so much fucking money Yeah, my argument with this if you saw the first Jurassic Park, right? And when you I know it's a great movie The original original original original love, right? That scene where they're in the you know, I mean the tour van or bus or right
Starting point is 00:35:36 Yeah, and and you you see the cup and you see the t-rex coming and it it builds that suspense, right? Suspense so when you actually see the t-rex, right? It's like Oh my god, this is so scary. It scared me. I remember being like holy fucking But when you open up with just this gigantic sea creature pulling down a fucking Ship and they're flying around. I mean, it's like there's no suspense. There's no it's very just around, right? It's very fantasy that there's this I mean and and I always imagined When the dinosaurs actually got into civilization that you could just build that suspense and make it scarier, right? Right, so you don't reveal them as much, right? You I don't know how you would do it
Starting point is 00:36:17 But like there's no magic in this movie. There's no magic. Yeah, see that's what that stinks Yeah, by the way speaking of Philadelphia over the the thing that we just talked about You see Tom Hanks came out and said These days asked him if he could if he would make fill it if like Philadelphia could get made today by him You know with him as a star Yeah, and he said no and I and I wouldn't and I shouldn't get that role in this day and age Yeah, but what's so fucked you're like? How can you how can you say that you delivered such a good performance? Yeah, the idea of acting is to take on that's like saying like
Starting point is 00:36:47 so no No, straight person can ever play it can never play a gay person. No gay gay people Well, they made another one. He died in the first. How would they justify? No, no, he's saying if you tried to He comes back to life like we do resurrects you try to and he gets aids again. Imagine that he gets aids twice Like you didn't fucking protect yourself the first time and also now nowadays you have fucking cocktails and stuff You wouldn't die Yeah, well, he's saying if you try to make the movie today. Oh, is that what what do you mean? He would they asked him if you don't understand what you're asking me if you tried to make Philadelphia today
Starting point is 00:37:17 Why would he be in it? You're saying he would be a gay actor They were Matt what he's saying is it should be played by not a straight guy But here he is is not an isn't it do you mean to ask her for that? Yeah Okay, so I don't think he won but he did it. He was nominated, right? Yeah But also he advanced the conversation so much because of that movie. Uh, everybody was but here's what's confusing to me is like I understand the idea of being like gay famous characters should be played by gay actors today But if you found someone that did it that you couldn't find anybody else that was gay to do that
Starting point is 00:37:53 Why couldn't Tom Hanks do that the whole idea of acting is to take on Cheyenne Jackson Who Cheyenne Jackson? He's a friend of mine. He's a very talented actor. He could do it You think he's he could have done Philadelphia better than Tom Hanks. He's a great actor This is my point just because he's gay doesn't mean he's gonna do a better performance than Cheyenne Jackson All right, so then we should then you know what yeah shame on Tom Hanks It should have been Cheyenne Jackson. No, you're right now. I can't in our culture. No But what I'm asking you is this John Wayne played gangist con, right? Well, I was okay with that Yeah, okay, but my point is that you know, you just no, but I'm saying in this day and age
Starting point is 00:38:28 So I went last week if you can't find anybody good enough I got an argument with my agent last week. Yeah Because there I'm like I can't see the project because I love the project, right? It's a big project. Say it will beep it No, I'll tell you later. Go like this. So they can't no no. Anyway, just say what it is So they're remaking something that was big in the 80s. No way. Yeah Say every fucking that's every movie right? It's every fucking doing that, right? Yeah, but it's a specific movie that I was a huge fan of Risky business Dude, let me just fucking finish man. No, no, no
Starting point is 00:39:03 I want to guess Okay, if you get it right, I'll tell you small wonder. No Was that a TV show? Let me just finish. Maybe if I give you more details, then you will guess it Okay, so basically Robo cop No, let me just give me the details. Okay, go ahead. I'm not gonna cut you right. So I I get the audition I look at the sides, right? And I read on it. I know little shop of horse No, and I go, oh, I'm not gonna read for this because in the movie
Starting point is 00:39:33 Where this character was Based on in the 80s. It was a little person And Right, you think you can't play an LP? No, I'm just saying I'm not one though of all the actors. I know Don't make fun of me. I'm not. Yeah, you are you're saying that I'm small. No, you're not. Yeah. Well, you are Yeah, but I don't look like a little person. I'm well, I'm proportioned a different way on camera. Sometimes you do What are you guessing willow? No, because they already did willow. They're doing willow and it's coming out
Starting point is 00:40:03 But that's that's exactly what it was. It's like them asking me to play that little guy from willow I don't know if I was holding him a little guy was bad But I'm just saying it's them asking me to do to read for I'm not gonna get it first of all So when I read it, I'm like, I'm not gonna get this but why couldn't you do it? Because the guy was that was in the original movie was not only a little person He was like 80 years old and he had an English accent. Hey, right, you know, I need a monocle There's just no way in my mind. I just like I can't even I don't even know how to approach this do your British accent right now Hello, perfect. You're hired. You know, I put you in the movie immediately. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 00:40:38 So yeah, it's like that type of a role. Yeah, that legendary and I just said and I go I know what this is they're going because I know the director right kind of you're right. So they're like, oh, we'll just see You know, he's We'll just see but they're never gonna book me But that's the whole idea of fantasy and film is that you okay? Here's my point with you playing a little person, right? That's a physical difference, right? That's why I get that. Yeah, that's like me not playing. I can't not gonna play a black guy Yeah, but in terms of like tom hanks playing a gay person if sexuality is in truth on a spectrum like everybody wants to promote today Why couldn't tom hanks be able to identify with what that might be like if he has personal experience with it?
Starting point is 00:41:17 Just because he isn't Outright gay. I just don't think sexuality can be a determining factor on who can play what what about that's my point What about Daniel which actually is the most liberalistic view you can have because I think you shouldn't you shouldn't corner someone and go You can only play this because you don't identify as this. Well, that seems limited. It's acting. It's called acting I get I agree with you, but Daniel Day Lewis in my left foot. Uh-huh. Could he play that now? Well, they probably wouldn't let him know I know that by point But do you think that it was wrong for him to play that no because he was incredible? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying It's like it's yeah, if you spend time dedicating yourself to something
Starting point is 00:41:54 That's what acting literally that's what literally it is otherwise We're going towards a place when you can only play it if you are exactly the thing Yeah, and then you're not really playing anything. Are you you're just you're not acting at all? No, then it's not acting then it's called a documentary then it's a docu series Okay Raycon this is magic in your airs guys, you know magical ear. Raycon wireless earbuds are a must-have for human beings All those masters of multitasking who needs to keep their hands free with raycons They can stay entertained listen to their favorite podcast or music
Starting point is 00:42:26 Plus take phone calls with vivid voice technology and hands-free. Look at this stuff, man Look at how cool this little case is amazing. Look at how tiny it is and it has a little loop for you Um, this is the new raycon case. By the way, the other one was a different size. I like this one a little bit better It's sleek and look at these little things. They just pop right in your little earhole And then they magnetically go back in this case easy to travel with. Um, the sound quality is great I like these things when I'm working out and also the best part is these are fitness earbuds Um, because you can uh, you can work out in these and you're gonna start working out Yeah, and they're priced just right man. They are like some of these other ones are like you're so expensive
Starting point is 00:42:59 Arm and elect for no reason you get quality out of you for half the price of other premium auto brands They got eight hours of playtime and a 32 hour battery life with their compact portable charging over 4905 star reviews guys Over 49,005 star reviews is very impressive. That's 49,000. That's what I said. Yeah, that's right. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah These are incredible man. Raycon go pick these up, uh, at a great price right now Uh, hey buy them for yourself or for someone you love make sure you buy raycon.com slash bad friends To get 15 off your order. That's buy raycon.com slash bad friends for 15% of your order Buy raycon.com slash bad friends Loomy labs. They're the creators of the micro dose gummies. Look, I love these things. This is incredible
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Starting point is 00:44:53 If they said like, you know, we're you know, Steven Spielberg is gonna do Lincoln too And they want you to play Abraham Lincoln. No, but I after Danny after Danny Lewis. Would you do be honest? Would you do it? You know who I would want to play in that movie? Who John Wilkes Booth? I know, but not I know I'd be so good at that. You're not offered that. I know I would be so good as John Wilkes Booth. They should do a side movie like they did with the jogger But with John Wilkes Booth. Well, you know what you know who I saw in uh, um You bring up the cast of top gun real fast. You knew who I saw he did a great job But I thought sometimes in the movie when I watch a movie I go
Starting point is 00:45:30 I could have that could have been me Um Out of the group of kids, I'll keep going show more out of the group of all the new cadets. Yeah Uh, uh, one of them, um, was uh, what's his name son? Um, Lewis Lewis Pullman, Bill Pullman's kid. Yeah, and he plays kind of like a sweet endearing nerd in the movie He was good in that. Yeah, he was amazing. Yeah. Yeah, but I looked in the when I was watching the movie I did that thing where I Where I turned and I was like
Starting point is 00:45:56 That could have been me like that one of all the roles. I can't be the hot guy in the beach throwing the football No, but Pullman that one. I could have gone out for that. Yeah, I could have gone out for that John Hamm's part you could have gone John Hamm. Yeah, I think you think so. Yeah, why do you think so? I have a authority figure But they didn't want comedy they wanted someone. No, I would be serious and strong. I would be serious about it You would yeah, all right. Well, then tell me tell I'm maverick. You're fucking. Uh, what's his call sign? What's John Hamm's call sign in the fucking movie? You're I'm maverick and I'm coming in and you're you're disciplining me for one of the exercises that we just did
Starting point is 00:46:28 I'm not going to give it away. I need the line. So Cyclone cyclone cyclone. I need the lines. Give me a line. What do you mean? Listen, you know the movie You're disciplining me for all right. Here we go. Yes. You wanted to see me, sir Yes, so What was that all the shenanigans up there? Well, that was the training exercise, sir You you're no longer a part of this program Can I tell you something? Yeah, you're killing it right now. Yeah
Starting point is 00:46:56 All right, you got me kiddo You're no longer a part of this program with all due respect. Yes. I'm the top of all the top guns You were You know get out of my office Thanks, sir. That was really good. Honestly. I felt it for a second. Thanks. That was really that was my first try Yeah, I would have to work on it. I would have to work on it. And maybe with CGI on my face, you know, make me white I don't know Because I think being a little asian guy would be a distraction. Like why is this?
Starting point is 00:47:26 You know what I mean? You just we got to get you big. We got a kumail nagiani you we got to get you jacked I'm thinking about it. Can we do that for this show? Which one can we get you jacked for bad friends? Before we go on tour. We're thinking about doing a bad friends tour by the way before we go on bad friends tour Yeah, will you get jacked as fuck? I will. Can we get a bad friends personal trainer? You know what I need though? Can I get a like not a shake wake but like someone that works like a blade? I want something at home that I could do when watching like Netflix or something. What about a peloton? I have the one I know so why don't you use it?
Starting point is 00:47:56 I gotta go downstairs I gotta go downstairs or walk down those steps. Do you remember the body blade? Let's get you a body Let's get you a body blade. You just go like this with it. So you can be doing that way. Yeah, I need to do something like that Yeah, you just wobble it back and forth Look at that. That's you. That's you. That's me coaching you on a body blade. Yeah. Yeah, I like a body blade What exercise can we get you to start doing? Truthfully, there's one that I just saw on late night at two in the morning I was watching tv and it was like a little thing like it's like a you sit down
Starting point is 00:48:25 And they're like little steps What? Yeah, it's like you put your feet on a little it's like a little pedals. They're like little pedals, right? So you're watching, you know me your favorite movie like you're watching the boy a foot pedal exercise machine and you're just pedaling So you're just pedaling you're watching So and it's just a little piece of it's just little pedals like it's a bike Yeah, and old people do it like that and they really like it From the commercial they like it We love it. That's it right there. Yeah, just one of these little foot pedals
Starting point is 00:48:52 Yeah, that guy and you just push on it. Oh and you just pedal This is that one. Yeah, like one of those guys. Let's see. It's exactly for fucking $300. Yeah. Yeah, $300 for that thing That's fine. Just go take a walk I know but I have to watch the boys I get it. Yeah. Yeah. All right, the boys. I want to watch. Well, maybe we'll buy you this machine Will you do this under the desk while we're doing bed? I think that I was thinking about that doing that too Maybe we should maybe we should both get it and see if we can see you can do it longer under the desk Yeah, I'm pretty sure that works. We're gonna get you on an exercise regimen. I mean it. Yeah, yeah, because I want you uh
Starting point is 00:49:23 I want you lean and fit from when we go on tour That's gonna be fun, man That's gonna be real fun. Can I show you something guys? Yeah, of course Okay Is this is a movie that he made? Yes What movie? I just made a new movie. He made a new movie. Let's watch his trailer. I'm excited Parties and girls it's gonna be
Starting point is 00:49:46 Later My sis going to columbia looks like I got the lips and the brains of family I'm proud of you. Okay. Who are you? Governor finn once all detained immigrants gone by election day god deported Zero tolerance the DA is suffering a drop charges. If you volunteer to help care for senior citizens An owl Cove we truly appreciate you being here to help out our seniors How am I supposed to? Is it Eric Dan? My girl, I suggest you say something. You know because you're scared
Starting point is 00:50:33 I'm Argentinian or ludo you stick to the program your time here should be pretty fast and easy Sorry You really got away with the ladies This is a horror movie. What are you talking about? Are you trying to escape? I promise you you stick with the program. You're gonna leave this place more mature. You may even gain a new found appreciation for life Oh It's phillips, okay It's phillips not breathing
Starting point is 00:51:49 Am I in here because I'm latino or black or both Wow, did you really produce that? Yeah What does it what angers you the most is it directed by jordan steel Kind of is a jordan peel ripoff. Is that what it was what angers about it? I think it's a it's a brilliant film I think it's cool. I think it's great, but number one. I think everybody should watch it. No audition Yeah, why didn't we get an audition for this because it's like eric's in it. I mean, I know a bunch of people in there It's like we can't we can't get a security guard role or No, honestly, dude, there's no security guard role or like a couple of lines that we could
Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah, no, no, no, let's be real. Let's be real. Let's talk man You're a producer. You're doing movies is your second one. We've seen yep. The other one was a big movie, right? Huge You're producing right? I'm asking you dude hammer, right because we've getting you a job here And we're not asking for roles. We're not asking for offers. We're asking for the opportunity That's right, right? That's right. And it's not like we've never done shit. Look at my fucking IMDb, dude We know how to do it. We know how to do stuff. We know how to do stuff, dude, right online So what's the deal? What is your pass ma'am? Something like that. This is a restricted area. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no Puerto Ricans allowed
Starting point is 00:53:12 Listen, well, you know who I would play who the fucking assistant to the governor. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you'd be great We don't need you people around. Right, right Yeah, and I'd be like, you know what I would be I just I work there at that fucking place, right? And I'm playing both sides. Oh, that's because I'm ethnic too, but I also love the whites Right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that, you know, you're one of us We're with Derek Chauvin. Yeah. Do you remember him? You have a stupid Asian partner? Yeah, that's every photo that you see that Asian partner. He has this confused look I like how you're like, do you remember Derek Chauvin? Yeah, but his partner I hate him the most
Starting point is 00:53:47 Yeah, because his look his partner looks always What's going on? Yeah, he's lost. Yeah. Did he get in trouble too that guy? I don't know what's going on. No, smart friend He played it like that. I had no idea. He went to prison. He did. Yeah But I believe that even if Derek Chauvin had his knee on that Asian guy's neck, he would have to the same fit What's going on? Oh my god Anyway, I would play that guy. We didn't get a role. Yeah, we didn't get any. I wanted to be the ice agent You know, I wanted to be an ice agent, but yeah, but it's a great movie dude. Um, so let me ask you the premise though, right? Yeah, I don't get it. So if you're I knew George Lindbergh Jr. I know him
Starting point is 00:54:20 Yeah, JP. I know why are these kids going to the why are they being deported because they seem like they're Americans for Aiden and Abadin Uh, her uh, their families so the also their families are Illegals, but they were these kids were born there. So there's a new rule where Even if you're born there, what do you call that on fit policy when you're born here natural looking on pictures of women He wants to look at where we see what you're streaming. That's even funnier. He scrolled down the list Yeah, and then he saw this girl Catherine Hannah. Yeah Hannah Hannah
Starting point is 00:54:53 And he clicked on her because he wanted to see more about her that because she's not like super famous So I was like, oh, you don't have a shot No, you don't have a shot. Go ahead and be a shot with girls. No, but not he does well with women I know he does he does very I don't know. I know one girl that wants to fuck him Well, how about this we've tried to make we've tried to have love matches on this show And Carlos is single and any of the women out there We'd like to put Carlos up for what? So I was at a comedy show a couple of days ago and so I was in the front, right?
Starting point is 00:55:24 Go ahead and a lady walks up and she goes just to let you know No, I wasn't hitting on doc. So that girl that was at that show that came to the side of the stage Oh, yeah for a comedy store main room show. Yeah, that's just she would hook up with she adamantly she came to the store specifically To tell you to tell me no That she wasn't hitting up. Yeah, but didn't she say she was yeah, but she was trying to get a laugh and it came out wrong You know what I mean? And I go, okay. I'll rely that the doc will kill himself Yeah, it seemed like she was hitting. Yeah, it seemed like it. Yeah, call me a fool But Carlos is single
Starting point is 00:55:57 I'm trying to find this girl because she emailed a bad friend's account about doc She's like I'm the girl you think wants to fuck doc lol. That's her. Yeah, that's who I sent right into the yeah She said she did email you guys, but I will say this We're not trying to we're not hooking up doc with fucking anything ever again Yeah, because of today you've been slipping so much you can slip in fancy. What's the other link? I sent you in that thing Did I send you another one? Oh, look at this Go ahead. Go do it. What is it? This got sent to me
Starting point is 00:56:28 And how obviously is this Andres? Is that you Andres? Yes. Yeah, do you not know how good he is at guitar? Isn't that crazy Tell me that's not insane. Do you know did you know that he played guitar? That's not him. Yes, it is There's no way that's him, but that honestly pause very very similar Pause it. How many what is that 37 seconds is a long time for you to not know. Yeah, that was a long time No, because well the first of all, it's pitch black. Yeah, you just see hands. That's right and barely
Starting point is 00:57:09 Yeah, but it's not you. No, but that shot right there It looks a lot like fancy. Look at pull your head. Look at his hair is doing that thing right now Yeah, you're right. You're right. It is doing that thing for a split second though. I went if that's him I'll respect him. Yeah. Oh, yeah, but you don't still no, I still respect him I just respect him more the next time he's produced the movie Yeah, why didn't you I'm really live a little shocked that we didn't get something in your film the next one is just for you guys What is it? It's your movie bottoms. Yeah, of course. That's because we're producing fuck you
Starting point is 00:57:38 He did did you see the tiger belly thing you directed the korean drama? No, no one gets a masterpiece. Is it really? Yeah, he did a korean drama And hired actors, but korean people to play tiger belly crew and they did a sketch. Oh, I heard about this door I think it's so Fucking good. You have to send it to me. Yeah, I'll send it to any korean actors. I know no it was just like But the guy that played gilbert was dead on You know what I mean? The guy that played me was so handsome. It's so crazy But he has the beauty that you know, it's amazing. They're at my house. It's a great job
Starting point is 00:58:10 That's how I know you have the talent. Thank you. You know what I mean? All right, so doc told us that that he's now he was what he was sleeping. Is that what it was? He said he was sleeping And he I asked him to do a video and he said he'll do it later when he's feeling better. No I was just tasting y'all. Wow you sound bad. Wow Yeah, I got this man the stomachy man. It's it's headache man. I tried to take it now this uh Uh Won't go away
Starting point is 00:58:41 Well, what are you taking to help your stomach out more wine? No Why would you Know what I'm saying is that what are you taking for it? Because because I'm got it right great drink Right, right great drink doesn't It's a sugary. It's a sugar It's a sugary, you know, but I'm just saying, you know, stop eating, you know, the taquitos at 7-eleven maybe
Starting point is 00:59:16 Yeah, yeah Oh, it was whole foods I'm like, what the fuck hey doc are you just what's up dog? Hey, what up? Hey man, just a question. Don't get mad at me All right after you poop. Are you washing your hands? At the poop, are you washing your hands? Of course, of course Because this sounds like bacteria. This sounds like bacteria is getting from your poop to fingernails to your food
Starting point is 00:59:58 I have another question. I have another I think that's what doc doc doc doc doc. Yeah Have you been eating other people's asshole? Well, you know man, you love that you do you do love to eat ass, right? Well, you know groceries is part of the game part of the sex game part of the game. Yeah They call you black man black pack man Yeah, black pack man, maybe just ease up while you're sick ease up on the ass ease up on the ass for just to just a week Okay, we I'll do that just for y'all doc. We miss you doc. We miss a week. We miss you doc. We're sorry that you're sick, bro
Starting point is 01:00:37 Yeah, thanks, bro. I'm sorry man. All right, man. Get better soon, baby. We miss you Miss y'all too. All right. Bye. Bye We lost doc that's it. Yeah, he's dead. Can you believe he's dead? He's dying. He's gone. He sounds fucking awful Sounds terrible or it's the best acting we've ever seen. That could be that's really fine. He's that he's he's at disneyland right now He's and he's like gets in a bathroom. He's like, oh, man. I'm so sick Yeah, I mean let me ask you something. Yeah If you did find out that he was doing something he found something better to do like for instance He's right now next to he's at your mom's house. He's on there. Yeah, or he's at like, you know
Starting point is 01:01:16 I mean fire in the kid or something. Yeah, would you be mad? No, he decided to do them instead of us No, god bless. Would he ever do ours again? No Yeah, that's the end of that. That would be that but if we found out that he was lying to us and doing another show Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's good. Good. Good for you. Move on. Move up But you wouldn't have him back. I'd key his car and light his apartment on fire. No, I would I would not have him back on the show He would never perform live in LA again ever again LA. Yeah, something california. Yeah in the entire course. Of course Nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. Yeah, yeah, he'd have to be he'd have to kick rocks in New Mexico get a couple gigs in Nevada But we love doc and we hope he's good. That being said, don't Whole Foods Whole Foods Food. Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:52 But I think he's saying what are you saying is is that he because Whole Foods does have a cafeteria for employees You know what else they have what you know when you walk into Whole Foods, you guys have seen this They have a bin that's discounted like meats and stuff like that. That's it said it'll say right on it Do not eat Yeah, but it will say it'll say like almost almost It says a sign it's almost expired. They're like almost gone. Would you eat that? No Like if you were like on a budget, what am I saying? Then I wouldn't go to Whole Foods. That's true
Starting point is 01:02:21 Well, who the fuck is on a budget going to hold don't go to Whole Foods. Yeah, you're on a budget You go to TJ's you're on a big budget. You go to John's not guns You're on a big budget go to smart and final If you're really you go to the 99 cent store But I've seen guys that go I've been there. There were serious regulars on a show, right? I've eaten nine years ago eggs now the money's running out, right? But they they're used to the lifestyle So they go to Whole Foods And they might get that like, you know me two day old ground beef humble yourself
Starting point is 01:02:46 Go to a fucking store that you go to smart and final where it's cheaper. That's true because I used to eat that shit I used to eat 99 cent store eggs. I'm not kidding. I eat poultry Or I mean that extra. Yeah, I did not do you have fucking eggs at the 99 cent store store? Yes, they do They have everything what kind of eggs, huh from what animal? I mean, I'm not sure maybe a rodent of some kind. Yeah. Yeah. It was a gerbil egg. Maybe I ate Well, can you eat turtle eggs? Yeah, you sure can are they are they cheaper? They seem cheaper No, they're more that's delicate. Yeah, that's a delicacy. Yeah, my bad. My bad. No, but I mean, I've had you It's a mixtape you open up the dozen and it's like that's gerbil that's hamster
Starting point is 01:03:18 Oh, they're different colors by sizes different sizing colors. Yeah. Yeah, some are purple in the small snake eggs You get what you get for all. Yeah, you get what you get. Yeah, and that's a good scramble. That's a good mix scramble. Yeah I've eaten some what you've eaten bad shit when you were broke you ate bad shit Yeah, but I but yeah, but I would go there were only specific places I would go like I would go to Uh, El pollo loco could get their bean rice and love your sea burrito El pollo loco because they were like 99 cents. How could you can't go wrong with bean rice and cheese? Well, nothing goes bad there. Yeah. Yeah, bean rice and cheese. You're fine. So that's a 99 cents I would go to like I would get a breakfast at McDonald's when I was poor. What I used to get it all the time
Starting point is 01:03:58 I still get it. I still get it. Yeah, I still get it all the time. I love it. Yeah, but um, but I would eat but I would eat I ate ramen one time for a month because I had no money And I had to eat it every single day for a month But I would only eat it twice a day because it more than more than twice a day I get I would get I started the smell of it. Maybe nauseous Yeah, even now when I get like I'll sometimes like lay it and I go, oh, maybe I'll make this ramen It hurts my neck. There's so much salt and it's so no like my neck is I have to take my fucking Can you imagine your blood pressure medication? Your neck gets stiff from eating ramen. You can't even sip the bowl
Starting point is 01:04:31 Like it really fucks my body up. It's that bad. Oh, yeah Yeah, there's so much like, yeah MSG probably fucks your body up. No, no, no, no No, I think they found out that it's not that bad for you. MSG. Yeah, it's not that bad I know but the salt I don't think the salt is salt isn't bad for you Come on, unless you have too much It's like anything's like butter is bad if you're just does something anyway, but you know what I do I'm guilty of mac and cheese from craft craft is so good velvita. First of all, yeah If you're gonna do it, you know, really not velvita is better than craft. Oh my god
Starting point is 01:05:02 Craft mac and cheese is good, but I like the velvita stuff. I think that's it's just you use whole milk with it 100% I get a cow. I go to a farm. Yeah Yeah, I'll get whole milk. Whole milk is the best. Yeah, anytime I try to alternative milk I don't like it. The only one that I can fuck with a little bit is oat a little bit I've been so this is what I have. I'm I'm glad you just said that I'm not being real. I'm so glad you said that because it's not even funny. I don't know what I'm saying it But it's a revelation. I had so the other day before jules went to the philippines I've been eating cereals
Starting point is 01:05:38 Cereal. Yeah, you're eating cereal again. Yeah, what kind? So I've been eating life cinnamon. Oh my god It's that you can't it's the best it's so fucking good And this one I know you're drinking the milk when it's over cinnamon milk. Yeah golden grams Hello, love golden fucking right so fuck But I was getting massive diarrhea because I'm lactose intolerant because I was getting the vitamin D. Like homogenized It's already got homogenized. Homogenized. Homogenized milk, right? And I was having diarrhea the other day and she's like just drink oat milk with it. Yeah, so I bought oat milk It's close. It's close. It's close enough
Starting point is 01:06:15 Here's the problem with those alternative milks. What they don't get as cold as real milk Do you know what I'm saying when you pour it in a thing? It's not as cold Right, it gets warmer faster real milk stays colder faster stays colder longer. In fact, I'm going to go to the after this I'm going to go to Ralph's. I'm going to get by more cereal and oh, yeah I want to come over and have a cereal night. Can we have a cereal night where we just? Which ones do you like cereal? Oh my I mean there isn't a top five top five of all time. Yeah, like one like I Here's what I don't like peanut butter captain crunch is probably one of my favorite
Starting point is 01:06:44 I hate any captain crunch. Wow, you're wrong. It fucks. I hate it because it cuts up your mouth I don't like the texture. I don't like anything about it. You got to get a stronger mouth Is that what my problem is? Yeah, life cereal is genuinely one of my fucking favorites Cocoa crispies cocoa pebbles cocoa pebbles cocoa pebbles corn pops Love corn. I don't anything corn like I don't like corn almost all cereals made from corn. I know no I know but you know what I'm saying. It's like yeah that flavor that the corn pops raw fruit loops Hate it. You don't like pass. No. Wow. I like the ones with the double side What is that the weedies but with one side is completely white? I don't know what that is
Starting point is 01:07:20 Frosted fro oh frosted flakes not flakes love frosted frosted weedies without the cubes. Oh What is that called? Oh, I love this Not shredded wheat um the one size white come on. I know it's got cream on it. It's cream. It's a white thing It's a cream. I love it frosted mini-weeds frosted mini-weeds frosted mini-weeds frosted mini-weeds I love frosted mini-weeds. That is the that's one of the best. What are the best? And you know what sometimes I'll just I'll I'll eat the cream off one side and throw away the wheat Sometimes I'll just eat the cream and throw it. Yeah, I don't have that kind of like. I love cream. I love cream It's not an artichoke. I love cream half of it. Okay. Anyway, here's another thing that I like. Here's what I don't like though
Starting point is 01:08:04 um, I don't like rice crispies not rice right right rice Crispies what what's it rice rice crispy treats not rest the crispy is that a I cereal right rice crispies Rice crispy cereal. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? You don't like rice crispies No, I like the cocoa one, but I don't like that white. Oh, that one's okay to me. What about lucky charms Oh, the the original. Oh, I didn't know they had frosted ones. Yeah, they have frosted crispy Yeah, but I the original one because you'd have to put sugar on it. Yeah, you would you'd have to put sugar I would put two big spoons full. Yeah. Yeah, that's why my mouth is made of fucking metal
Starting point is 01:08:38 Yeah, but I don't like any of the ones with the like that fucked up marshmallows that it comes with Like you don't like lucky charm me lucky charm. I don't like it. You like that. They're magically delicious I know the yeah, my people made that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I make dividends every time somebody buys a box of that stuff Do you know they have to give to a redhead every time we we get we get a nickel every time you deserve Because you don't get much in life Let me ask you this, um Speaking of my terms of oatmeal. Do you eat oatmeal? I eat overnight oats. I like that a lot But do we when you have oatmeal? Do you know? I don't know what over what's overnight overnight oats is like, uh, is it mushy?
Starting point is 01:09:10 Yeah, it's pretty mushy. Oh, it's the ones that come. I have had those. Yeah, you've had overnight oats. Yeah So they're cold sometimes they're cold. They're always cold. They're always cold. Yeah with berries. Yeah Yeah, look at those are cool, right? But you don't do hot oatmeal sometimes but pretty rarely because I like steel cut Steel cut is the only one to get. Yeah, it's the only one to get you know where that comes from Ireland that's right. You're yeah, you guys do good stuff. We do dynamite and fucking steel cut dynamite steel cut whisk whiskey bourbon bourbon and um Conor McGregor the best the best who's better and patty Patty, you know patty the MMA fighter NRA
Starting point is 01:09:45 IRA IRA I was a big fan of the IRA. I love the IRA not the NRA. I don't like the NRA. Yes, you do You're a big gun guy. I love Charles and Heston. All right, so I like Charles and Heston, but all right, so um from my cold dead hands That guy man. I know But if you would have known Thank you for being a bad friend

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