Bad Friends - The Shamrock ☘️ Cult

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

New Merch Out Now! badfriendsmerch.com   Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com/ code: badfriends2021 & https://www.liquid-iv.com/ code: badfriends  & https://www.shipstation.com code: badfriends & https://www.stitchfix.com/badfriends  YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTubeAudio  Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com  0:00 The Strangest Irish Names 4:05 Chris Distefano’s Double Prank 5:10 Rudy’s First Encounter with a Redhead 10:20 Leprechaun Table Read 23:45 Bobby is Famous on Podcasts 36:01 Bobby's BloodBath Promo 36:45 Movie Review: “Haven’s Gate: The Cult of Cults” 43:59 Bobby’s Life Was Saved by Fate 53:20 When Andrew Heard the Universe Calling  1:02:00 Our Final Speeches 1:04:22 St. Paddy’s Day TriviaMore Bobby Lee  TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com  More Andrew Santino  Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino   Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com  More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/    Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/  Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom   Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart  Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS  Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joseph Faria, Andrés Rosende  This video contains paid promotion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

oh oh shivan shaban shaban shaban no shaban shaban it's out it was the v shaban let me get the third shot it looks like coban but it's shaban graene graene graene graene meadup derbla kaume kaume

oizen oizen sauce tagle rudi rudi you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and asian dude

you two are disgusting well you two are something we're bad friends me lopi charm me me lucky charm happy san patrick's day happy san patrick's day happy san patrick's day it's the lovely day

we drink a lot of beer and we kiss each other hey don't tell your father or your mother that you're gay it's san patrick's day somewhere over the rainbow is that yeah somewhere over the rainbow is a irish uh it is i brought my irish stat stein here so i can have what about this one what about jump jump jump that song isn't that irish

how's the pain jump how's the pain yeah jump jump hi hi yam yam hi hi hi is that irish i don't know i always when i look at them in that video i think that they're irish well how's the pain is irish yeah because they're a green they're not green people they wear green a lot they're green yeah they're irish they're always in green outfits and whatnot i'm gonna drink Guinness for for the motherland here we go this is for the motherland yeah but i'm in recovery baby i want to drink it so bad bob i've had drinks in front of you before yam yam yam yam yam yam yam yam yam are you this is is this bad you can no no you don't get any of this

i've had drinks in front of you multiple times i know i like it you have green you have green wait wait this is a green pearl edition sugar-free red bowl whoa same patrick's day thank you i have to rip this because i want to be able to have a soda pop um go pretty good welcome to the show look at hi rude put on your beard please look at this big look at the size of this thing yeah i like it wait i like the way your cheeks get rosy you're like really rosy cheek look at you that's because i was out in the sun no i don't think so i think the same patrick's day your uh your cheeks are all really whenever it's saying patrick's name i eat my cheeks get a little rosy yeah what can i say you know i was my wife's name too when you get older i think you're gonna have plump red cheeks

yeah i'm gonna be fat like plump though but i'm gonna be fat yeah i'm looking for it i'm excited to get fat yeah i love that you have green on today i did 80 r and they did a close-up of my face yeah and my face went from each end of the screen that's how fucking fat i am no i'm not kidding you're wise and they had two little heads here which was you know magnum and prodita right and then my big fucking blob yellow fucking gross face big flat head and you could see my fucking liver spots you don't have any liver spots baby i do on the side babe is that what those are what do you think it was lesions yeah lesions if lesions um that it was lesions what you got self-conscious about your adr because you're looking a little less so um

um we were gonna did you see chris d recently yeah you did today yeah no couple days ago he's in town chris d is in town i know that he is yeah and so that we were gonna prank him by what well we're gonna send send pubes to them but he's in la for the next three months we send pubes to them but they shaved our pubes but they pranked us twice how what did they what do you mean no they didn't they send us poo they sent us poo that's it they gave you covid that's the best prank in the world and he didn't even get it i know he didn't even get it that's the prank though i know oh that's a good chocolate we gotta get we gotta get them back i know well what do we have to do send you shit and give you covid imagine that pooping poop in the mail and covered in the

covered in my life yeah that's fucking that's insane i know we should kill those guys yeah the disrespect is insane open your mouth i got a chocolate for you no i don't want that's i don't right now i'm only 50 come on all right okay didn't close um rudy you don't oh there you go how does that feel comfortable um it's fine it's not itchy it's not itchy wait a minute was there any what did you do we talk about this were there were there ever any redheads um in the philippines no never right you've never seen one but if you did see what would you guys do you dig a hole you dig a hole yeah i think p2 andrew was the first one i've seen i'm the first redhead you've ever seen in your life yeah how scary was that i thought it was weird yeah exactly

thank you right okay because you're used to it you know me you see like the movies right you see red heads on film you know you see also look look look one of your favorite from uh one of your favorite characters he's a redhead oh yeah no but in real life like you know when i was a kid i would watch scary things like you know uh lucy oh ball scary yeah because i love lucy wasn't scary it was a little bit because her i know but her hair was so red it was so scary right and then you would see like it the first one yeah you know oh shit he's one of our and then when you see one for the first time a redhead right there is a shock to it yeah a little bit yeah a little bit like oh that's real we're a dying breed there's only look up how many redheads are are on earth i bet you there's

let's guess how many how many redheads do you think are on for real genuinely 845 million what what an insanely bad guess what 845 million redheads how could that be you know how many people are in the how many people are in the united states in the world you said right yeah but how many people are in the united states 350 million yeah exactly so you think double the population of the united states is redhead you're right let me take can i get can i take that back yeah because that's your absolute dumbest math i've ever i don't it's and so i just threw it out there all right we'll give me another one all right well i drink my gun us i would say there is 183 million redheads on planet earth okay rudy what do you think how many redheads are on planet earth right now maybe like

six percent what what is happening in here six percent of the earth is redhead is that we think yeah yeah okay six percent of the total population i would say the number would be around like two and a half million redheads two million redheads on earth two million that's it yeah can i can i adjust 140 million wow so who was the closest i was you we were a hundred or anything million you first guessed 800 million you first guessed 800 million i know but my in my second guess though okay which is the real guess is i was the closest to 140 million people that's approximately scotland boasts the highest percentage of natural redheads with 13 percent of that country being redhead yeah there we go wow and they're treated the worst are they really we're

treated worse than any other kind of person on earth that's uh oh my god really who's lower than us the jews what in the history of time redheads in the history of time we were persecuted as well you guys were put in in concentration camps and put into fucking mass mass killings yep yep they did it never never heard of it yes they did look up the redhead genocide look at the ginger genocide you've never heard of ginger genocide is there a ginger yes look up the ginger genocide the ginger genocide oh you know what 1648 northern ireland was oppressed right by england course yeah so that's still a battle going on and all right ginger genocide right there click on it what happened there was a ginger genocide a crime that will be committed in

two late 2009 early 2010 to exterminate all ginger bitches and their children in 2009 it didn't happen we got they could never happen they didn't get us yeah they plan the attack and we didn't they didn't it wasn't it didn't happen yeah you know why we're too swift baby yeah but when i when i look at um redheaded people i don't think um i just feel disgusted not there's no feeling of like i want to hurt them or i want to oppress them you feel bad for them i don't feel bad for them there i am i ain't gonna be a leprechaun who is that girl hey jennifer aniston is it yeah she was in the first one and the original yeah god she looks the exact same now 30 years later whatever that is yeah i love actors that like have done bad movies in the

before they could be what do you mean leprechaun was a great movie okay great movie but it was cool to see like johnny dip in the first um nightmare and elm street street another great movie i don't know you you're referencing two great movies wait wait wait nightmare and elm street wait wait stop stop stop stop you're saying that leprechaun correct and nightmare elm is a cult classic sure so leprechaun no it's not leprechaun's not yes it is the only reason we know about it because it's a cult classic is it good so i should i go watch it tonight i would absolutely watch it again tonight what's it about it's about a leprechaun no but what happens it's right in the title i what happens though maybe that's regular size this is a

scene from leprechaun are you being kid are you kidding me this is incredible how do you how'd you print this up so quickly oh wow he's on top of it so this is a part of the movie so obviously so who's tory jennifer aniston yes can i play you you have to play the leprechaun obviously of course yeah i'll play i'll play okay and then rudy you have to read this uh the stage direction okay okay this is the table read let's imagine this is the table read for leprechaun what year was leprechaun 19 in the 90s 92 yeah 93 so here we go all right stage okay so this is the table read for leprechaun thanks all for coming and rudy jules take it away well let let the right let let the writer have a little announcement they sometimes do that

oh yeah yeah yeah okay so i'm i'll just play a little writer as well hi i'm clipps miss uh mits fit Simmons cliff mits fit Simmons cliff mick fit Simmons yeah i'm cliff mick fit Simmons that's my name and i thank you welcome to um my movie that i wrote called leprechaun what a film and ex inspiration was um i lived in ireland for many many years well you grew up there right cliff yes i did and when did you move to the united states cliff in the 83 1983 in 1983 yeah what brought what brought you the states um the desired i'm a filmmaker i'm a writer and you didn't want to do anything over there was there was nothing going on there's nothing going on so it's fucked up over there a lot of red heads so um here we and i this this this movie is um just from dear to my heart

because it reminds me of my childhood yeah back on the rolling hills of uh doubling oh wow yeah okay wonderful well um uh sir sir sir please take it away yeah well i'm the writer that's the director oh my god you're the director of the film what is your name again just announce yourself i'm hose hosey hosey what i harry face the hispanic guy hosey what fucking movie hosey archnald archnald hosey archnald ladies and gentlemen hosey archnald all right hosey well why don't you take us through the film here we go oh toy holds a bag of gold the leprechaun magically appears is that me gold what the hell are you i'm a leprechaun me dear here this is what you're looking for right toy hold out the bag of gold

the leprechaun uses magic to bring it to his hand my powers are returning the leprechaun cut cut what's going on i wrote it as me i'm sorry it's me powers are returning not mine so okay stage direction go ahead sorry sorry sorry please read it again it's all right toy holds out the bag of gold the leprechaun uses magic to bring it to his hands what the fuck what in table reads they don't have a fucking a gopher what the fuck are you doing it's a table read this is we're not rehearsing the interruption in table read it's just insane all right let's start from the top let's go let's go again let's start from the hosey uh oh so could i just i since i wrote it yeah it's cliff here so hey cliff hey so um can you play it more real maybe a little bit more real yeah okay no problem

thanks uh hosey hosey say your last name again archinal archinal hosey hosey archinal the director go ahead hosey when you're ready and i am cliff mcfitzimmons yeah i know mr mcfitzimmons i am aware of who you are toy holds out the bag of gold the leprechaun magically appears real no this is way too old it's it's way what says magically just just play the leprechaun real as real as you can okay toy holds out the bag of gold the leprechaun magically appears very good very good very good very good is that me gold what the hell are you i'm a leprechaun me dear there we go here this is what you're looking for right toy holds out the bag of gold the leprechaun uses magic to bring it to his hands me powers are returning the leprechaun shakes the bag

it sounds like me gold the leprechaun opens the bag it looks like me gold the leprechaun smells the bag it smells like a little less a little less please the leprechaun tastes the gold it tastes like me a girl okay i i you're fired why it's it's your i'm the leprechaun i know you're you're fired leprechaun we have matthew mcconnie hey yeah yeah is that me gold there we go let's do with matthew go ahead matthew all right don't even do the ace danger first line go ahead matthew hey send me gold man send me gold man yeah what the hell are you i'll be a leprechaun me dear here this is what you're looking for right me powers are returning before the next line can you see all right all right yeah all right all right all right looks

like me gold that's right if i say all right all right all right all right it looks like me go yeah leprechaun smells the bag all right all right it smells like me go oh you're hired matthew thank you amazing why don't you play the leprechaun then if you don't like the way that i'm playing leprechaun why don't you play it and i'll play tori because i wrote the fucking i'm not an actor i'm fucking cliff neither am i obviously you just fired me off the movie sorry all right so you play the leprechaun okay no you know what you play the leprechaun i can't do the yes you can i can't do the accent yes you can i'll try it go ahead and read it again uh george uh Jorge uh what is it oh say arch nold arch nold and don't and where the fuck do you get arch nold from

where would that even your where does your brain arch nold hi cliff mix mix is here i know what's your mix fit Simmons we're gonna get to you in a second no but it's my culture to always you know me say my name first all right okay so hi i'm hi hi so i just want to let you know that you're degrading our ethnic immigrant he's an immigrant director he did a short film i just don't understand how about the sundance and what's the the movie you did for sundance what did you do the short film about the uh mexican immigrants crossing the border go what was that that beautiful movie that clap the boat clap the boat you never saw clap the boat are you telling me you directed clap the boat oh that was your film clap the boat with you clap the boat that's one of the movies i've

never seen in my life i know do you know what the movies tell them what the movie's about i know clap the boat i love the boat the movie's about the these mexican immigrants they want they're trying to cross the border correct yeah right and they're and they don't know how right they're trying to figure out how they're trying to dig a hole underneath the wall in the wall right they try to go over it right they try to go over it right yep and then right your main lead what's his name who's the lead actor of that movie not the boat it was uh yeah it was what was the native lead actor alexandra alexandra oh god oh god she'll right i like alex she builds a boat she's so good she's so good so good so good in the movie alexandra right and then what do they do

when she builds a boat there wasn't a dry eye in the theater i'll tell you that there wasn't a dry honestly i'm not even i know i'm not joshin around anymore yeah clap the boat was one of the best movies i've ever seen in my entire well then give then don't talk to him that way i can't be rude to him all right okay her to dream go ahead all right sir can you please read the direction so we can get through the scene of leprechaun where boob is playing lep and i'm playing tori okay tori holds a bag of gold the leprechaun magically appears let me go what the hell are you i'm a look leprechaun my dear here this is what you're looking for right tori oh go ahead tori holds out the bag of gold the leprechaun uses magic to bring it to his hands me powers are returning so you're doing

the leprechaun shakes the bag it sounds like me the leprechaun opens the bag it looks like me gold the leprechaun smells the bag it smells like me the leprechaun tastes it tastes like my gold the leprechaun kisses tori all right um oh god oh oh god oh oh god you know arch is that your name no hosey that's hosey hosey i think you should play i think i think hosey should do the leprechaun i think yeah and yeah we're trying to do an irish accent i we we just fucking did it we taught you how to do irish clip mccliff mcfitt simmons here mr mcfitt simmons if i may speak for mr mcfitt simmons he did give it his best effort and sir you're directing this movie we'd love to see how you would take it i don't know how to do the action you got to step into the shoes of the actors

i try to do it and you know what i mean yeah you should so i'll be able to do the stage directions if you don't mind you play uh tori i'll be tori is yeah okay tori holds a bag of gold the leprechaun magically appears is that me gold pretty good pretty good what the hell are you i'm a leprechaun my dear here is this what you're looking for we hold out the back of gold the leprechaun uses magic to bring it to his hands my powers are returning the leprechaun shakes the back it's so hard you're going it's it sounds like my gold the leprechaun opens the bag it looks like my gold the leprechaun smells the bag it smells like my gold very good give her a round of applause

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this though dale i love dale by the way yeah oh you should because he loves you but can i don't know if this is his show if you're gonna i have i've i've been depressed all day they talk about you i've been depressed all day so if this is slamming me i'll take it it's not slamming you but it's gonna add on to my depression it's not slamming you drace is this slamming him no go right pricing look at this they talk about you i'm like blaney just walked into this room with magnum pi there was somebody else that was famous in in that scene there was that ken jong the guy from the hangover that's right that's right and there was a hey man it was a great singer magnum piade hey let me tell you something right now you know that ken did the show right

i know but they think it's you no they think it's you the show way before i did no they think it's you i sort of got it no that's not why he knows it's no way they think it's you the reason why did ken do magnum pi i swear to god he did it when i sort of got it google it did ken do magnum i sort of got it the reason why i did it and i can talk to listen right let's call gene hong okay call him gene hong is the producer of magnum pi one of them okay and i'll call him right now okay okay you're gonna look like a fucking fool right now i didn't put that clip because he's really mentioning ken jong in it and it's like why would that be a slam on me what he hey buddy hey gene this is i'm on my podcast bad friends real quick and um i just

have to ask you a question okay was did ken jong did magnum pi before i was on it right yeah there we go that's all i wanted to hear thank you so much but but but but whose performance was better ken or bob no don't say don't answer that better ken or bob i love you gene gene answer to later gene i love you thank you gene i'll talk to you later you you're so how funny is that bit now let's play it again all right you try to slam me that wasn't me yeah i have nothing to do with the clip yeah it's like if if bill burr did magnum pi right and you did it before him and some guys got s i andrew santino on the show first of all how the fuck would that first of all yeah neither bill nor myself would do magnum pi what's so funny did that tickle your fancy bones

first of all i'd be lucky to be on magnum pi it's a great piece of television and i think you do a great job every ten year every time you're on the show every time you're on the show you kill it i love the way that backfired yeah it feels so good i'll wait a room a bit for the show what do we what the fuck did you want me to do go along with it uh-huh no i will not now it's a good fight back it was a good fight back i'm glad i'd rather win to get laughs i'd rather win right yeah an argument well that's been your whole career and i love how that backfired on you and let's sit on that for a second let's sit on the fact let's sit i have nothing to do with it you did a bit right that's not me i'm not doing it i'm not doing it right and it backfired in your stupid redhead

face take off your vest yeah oh i love it i love it jewels got into uc riverside let's give it off a jewel clap the boat clap the boat and what other schools are you applying to um um there's still a lot i'm still waiting for um what are you where's the one you want to go to jewels what's the one that you're like i really want to get into um i'm waiting for long beach but i've heard that there's a lot of people students who have long beach state yeah rejected home with the dirtbags that's what they're called the dirtbags do you know that yeah the pyramid you're gonna get in you're so smart you're gonna get in you're gonna get in this is the whiz is weird it's not even my kid but i feel like she's a part of my family and so now i get a little anxious

about her getting into school really it just feels oh i want her to win can we write a letter to the any school that oh yeah can we do that what if we do a video submission to your school yeah can we do that i don't what up long beach state how i mean can we can we help in any way i don't know no they don't give a shit about us i like to promote uh a new podcast it's called blood bath that's one of the reasons why that's like my favorite role play is always 1800 because before that they didn't use their hands everything was like bobbing for apples you do century based wait wait you do century based role playing yeah you have to really go back in time you look at you look like you look at the whole stretch of history and then you choose a point in time and then you use that as as you

know a jump off historical historical role you have to do research beforehand it's one of my favorite new podcasts it's called blood bath kalilah any letterman and ester pavitsky yeah do a great show called blood bath i openly said how much i liked it on my show i like it a lot and i like their chemistry yeah it's awesome please tune in tune in and watch it um it's actually very good i said to kalilah i thought it was very good and the and the one the what there's one thing i don't like about it what do you think that is george yeah the fact that he has anything to do with it is annoying well what's annoying about george is is that he's not on the list well i'll tell you let's start i'm a big list so you do one i'll do one you do one i'll do one go let's go as fast

as we can go well no because i have to when i say his face go ahead that's a good one um he's his laugh go ahead deceiver um manipulate manipulator opportunistic uh not as tall as he says he is yeah um weasel two two left feet yeah two left nuts uh blind in his left eye yeah um aneurysms fake wife yeah paid for wife bad breath go hey did you see the heavens gate document have we talked about that yet no you know what heavens gate is no you don't know what heavens gate is i know what the gate would be when i get to heaven i know what that i know i know but there was the group of people it was a cult okay it was a cult of people right and in the 90s they were found somewhere in san diego right yeah they were all they had all committed suicide

this is is this the kool-aid no they so they thought that so there was a there was a comet coming i think it was hailey's comet right hailey's comet right and so they thought that that they were all going to kill them themselves right and then they were going to enter a spaceship that was at the end of hailey's comet right oh wow right and then they were going to go to heaven that way right but it's been a cult that's been around since the 70s how did they kill how did they suicide each other they drink some sort of potion called kool-aid that was the whole thing yeah it was kool-aid but then they had all they all had nikes on why they love and they also had a they also had a roll of coins like quarters cortex they wore cortex yeah they had quarters did they not

have quarters yeah i forget what the quarters were for i think it's in heaven you need and then they all have they all there's vending machines yeah i like to get into heaven and then also um you need a roll of quarters to get into heaven what an insane idea i know but they'd add it right and then they also castrated themselves it's good to see you my son castrated themselves do you have the role of quarters they all castrated themselves yeah so they all cut off their genitalia they men cut off their genitalia they're nuts i think not castrated what do they call that that's castrated they're they're nuts act that's castrated yeah when you cut off your source of reproductive and but one of them why would you imagine someone saying to get into heaven you

have to cut off your nuts i know what would you say i'm going to hell three guys cut off my fucking no no no three guys who had been a part of the cult for many many years yeah when that's the line yeah i'm in but i'm out yeah yeah i'm gonna keep my balls yeah let me have my balls right but so but one of the guys imagine if they said they were gonna lop off one of your boobs what would you if they say you can get ultimate freedom in heaven but they're gonna lop off a boob what would you say i'll ignore them yeah but would you still stay in the cult i wouldn't be in a cult you wouldn't you're in one now you're in one now this is a cult bad friend says without a doubt you're one of the leaders no by the way when she squints her eyebrows and says no it's so funny

with us that's that's what i look like every day of my life yeah all right there the big bushy eyebrows ship station y'all y'all know how we get our stuff out to the public y'all know how we sell online yeah y'all know how we sell that merch y'all don't know we use ship station will you be using ship station we love it it's if you sell stuff online guys you're definitely in the right business and more people are shopping online more than ever right that means a lot of orders coming in and a lot of orders you'll need to be shipping out fast and that's why online sellers like you need ship station tell them more no matter what you're selling ship station makes it super easy to manage all of your orders uh you know you you get a faster cheaper and more efficiently

from one place import orders from sales channels ship with any single carrier honestly all that aside bob and i use bob and i use that for this show no matter what you're selling amazon ads at your own website ship station follows all your orders into one simple interface yeah and i'm sorry to interrupt you right but that's how excited i get about ship you do yeah you do you leave and get access to amazing discounts with major carriers like ups fedex usps easily compare carriers and choose the best solutions every time that's right ship station small business can now access the same rates usually reserved for fortune 500 companies without the contracts or the commitments guys ship more and less time use the offer code bad friends get a 60 day free trial two months

free no hassle stress free shipping go to ship station dot com click on the microphone on the top of the page and type in bad friends ship station dot com click the mic type in bad friends ship station dot com enter the code bad friends make ship happen this is my favorite thing in the whole world friend oh my god online shopping is a nightmare and you don't know what to buy i hate it because you know you go to 15 different apps right and you go you're indecisive stitch fix does it all for you send it right to your door they send it right to your door right so what what they do is they send you you fill out you know what you like or you don't like survey survey right yeah and all of a sudden you get a magical box and that's what i call a magic box magic box

you open it up and then you go oh they know what i want exactly i like this i like this it's hand selected not so much but then you could set it back all you need to do is put the stuff that you don't want back in there send it right back there's no subscription needed my friend try stitch fix once or set up automatic deliveries you pay $20 for a styling fee for each box which gets credited towards pieces you'll keep and there's no hidden fees ever stitch fix has styles and clothing to fit any occasions for like women men and kids and they ship all over the u.s and available in the uk as well hey man hello hello hello new clothes honestly it's so great they compile something handcrafted by a stylist to give you a box of stuff that guaranteed you're going to like because

you told them what you like and what you don't like get started today at stitchfix.com slash bad friends and you'll get 25 off when you keep everything inside of your fix it's great. stitchfix.com slash bad friends i have to say it again i love this company so much stitchfix.com slash bad friends for 25 up when you keep everything in your fix stitchfix.com slash bad friends it's just why do these cults have to have so many weird rules to get into have we i saw the thing there was a thing online maybe vice did a whole thing about the woman um mother god do you know the mother god do you know this woman look up mother god this woman here who's like an alcoholic and it's here i think it's here in LA like mother god do mother god cult yeah that's it cult leader

this this woman bonk absolute bonkers out of her mind and she says she's the reincarnation of god a million times over she's like an alcoholic and these people bought into this shit and you you listen to some of these interviews you can't believe yeah intellectual people would do it because they're educated like they're adults i know man and they got sucked in and i don't know you there's no way to know how i don't know how they get how do you think what's the thing that gets people into these things it's well usually cults get people when trauma yeah when somebody is in a crossroads in their life like for instance right like my girl i've caught my girlfriend cheating on me right and she just broke up with me right

and then the next day and then you pray no this is real they pray like to god or whatever like please give me a sign right and then the next day disappears some guy with like alien ears shows up at your door and goes you know what i mean yes yes a baby pop up will you please join my cult yes and they're they think that that's a sign from god right that they should do it you can look for a sign can be anything i can name you 10 things that happen today that if you wanted them to be a sign they would be a sign yeah but that that's my whole point i do i do believe coincidence happens for a reason no cut it out will you you know i do believe that you believe in fate or you believe in coincidence coincidence and fate are two different things for a reason

so you believe in fate i do you tell your story yeah i'm putting on my seatbelt no it's not a funny story what what is it though but can i just tell you what my point ask rudy rudy may yeah why why is so disappointed in it why why no it's just a little enthusiasm at all you're yeah ask me i'm rudy ask me if you can tell the story can i tell the story please yeah so unhappy so i'm not gonna tell the story now that sucks no please tell it all right right so this is why i believe this is gonna so when i um when i was 17 years old people know my story but when i was 17 years old i got sober yeah and i went to this place called the mcdonald's center which is a rehab from from modern i think ronald mcdonald the mcdonald

mcdonald's foundation does yeah they do so right yeah i never saw clown all right so i know they didn't serve mcdonald's i don't think anybody thinks i just wanted to throw that out get sober and have a big match if you look at my instagram early on in my instagram there's a photo of me when i the first day i was at the mcdonald's they're wearing my um fatigues not fatigues what do they call them um fatigues like army not not fatigues what do you call them the medical like a gown like a gown oh wow i was wearing like a medical why did they put you in that you can't just do regular clothes huh no in the beginning they no because it's a hospital it was a scripts hospital right oh scripts yeah so i'm like in a gown and i'm really sick i'm

detoxing yeah right so there's a photo of me just you know me i'm here you know what i mean dude how funny you're detoxing all like twerking out in the background out of mcdonald's like hey hey yeah mcdonald's wants to help you get sober twerking out and drooling yeah so then um so you go to start go there and i you know i meet this um korean man because when i was in rehab i said um there aren't oh i've been to a meeting i lied and i said you know you never see asians you never see asians in recovery so what you know i mean i don't think that i am one

what do you mean you don't think i'm a drug addict right i was using all these you know right excuses yeah defense mechanisms correct and um so one day this guy shows up and he's wearing he has tattoos to his wrists right and he had an accent because he came here when he was 14 years old from korea because hi that's a way i'm done that's the name dad i'm your sponsor and he saved my life you don't get to pick your sponsor this time i didn't i he that he showed i didn't he didn't say it was just like i could have said no but i just said yeah i think this is that's not that that's not the coincidence was he scary though at first he was yeah he had white hair yeah but you know he like luke he became it looked like yeah like a mortal combat yeah and he um really came

my father you know like a father figure he saved my life like when i was 17 i'd miss so much school right that my senior year i got sobered i came back and they were like you have to take a zero period a lunch period and night classes for you to graduate there's no way you can do it so i called dad i'll do another year and dad goes no you're doing it so i show up zero period lunch period and i did all that yeah and i graduated yeah with my class okay and then i got out of that i got up high school and you know i would go to meetings he was my sponsor this and that and then what ended up happening was i started doing stand-up when i was 23 years old in la joya right at the store at the store and i stopped going to meetings so i slowly lost all their numbers

you just stopped talking i stopped talking i stopped going to meetings right and i just started just show business was it all i did was hang out with the shores or you know i mean did open mics you know i mean it was everything yeah and i did that for many many years it got to the point where i didn't even see myself i wasn't drinking or doing drugs but i didn't even see myself as a drug addict or alcoholic anymore okay just a performer yeah i had nothing it was just like something i bypassed when i was a young guy right right so then when i i got mad tv i relapsed okay for the for the celebration yeah what it's from the celebration no from the i hated it the stress and the pressure because when i showed up at mad tv the first thing one of the producers

said is i just don't think that you're funny right he called me in his office and he goes i don't think that you're funny what's his name i'm not gonna say his name what's his name i'm gonna we'll talk to you later about no but he said he doesn't think you're funny call him the fuck out who is he where the fuck is he now you know because he later became where the fuck is he now he lit he's a big producer oh he is on what what do you get so angry but i'm just telling you a fucking story i don't like him talking shit i know so he goes i don't think you're funny i don't think you're right for the show and when he said that i just you know it just and i could see like his group of writers and whatever not write me shit right and there were so many shows where

i couldn't even get on right it was just terrible so i just did drugs right so two years on that show i did drugs right and then they fired me okay and i ended up right in some detox back in san diego right back where i started okay i didn't have a car and also it was one of those hippie places where they only fed you like organic foods no meat and wheatgrass like a wheatgrass farm where they used to put colonic wheatgrass colonic in your ass and i was detox of a vicar and so i'd wake up like shaking with green fucking wheatgrass squirting out of my asshole in a bathroom completely naked shaking with no like medical there was no medical it was a hippie farm there was no medical facility right and i just knew that i just needed something you know what i

mean i needed a recovery like a real recovery so one night i fucking escaped right i had a little bit of money and it was two in the morning i had to climb a 50 foot wall like like a old school wall in a forest right what's so funny it's just what it's crazy it's facility 50 foot wall yeah it was like a night in a forest it was in the forest right right i climbed this wall and i ran down like three miles down the hill right and i see like a freeway and then beyond the freeway i see vans a grocery store yes 24 hours don't know yeah right now so i run it i run into this vans and i'm dirty you know i mean i'm wearing like hospital garb on right and i i'm in the fruit section of course where else would you be right to get an apple right i pick up an apple i get a tap on my

shoulder it's no no but fuck it's dan's friend sorry the perfect purport of that story would be it's dan no it's dan's friend somebody that knows dan sorry go ahead let me finish yes a green apple or red apple by the way red one yeah i like delicious fuji fuji fuji oh delicious yeah i like red delicious so i turn around like and he goes it's me will and i kind of vaguely remember him and i go oh shit you're dan's friend you know yeah i'm sober you know that's how i knew him from sobriety sure and he goes it's so weird that you're here because this is what he said he goes i was speaking at a meeting in arizona right and i was driving down the eight right and something told me to pull over here like at the grocery store yeah i there's no reason why i'm here i go oh that's

weird he goes and i see you and i go oh and he goes you want dan's number so he gives me dan's number right the next day dan and all my old a people right start picking me up from this place to take me to meetings wow okay so that's why i believe in i don't i believe in coincidences yeah and it saved my life i got so i i i stayed sober for 17 years after that wow do you want to get this you have to throw in a joke you have to throw in a joke can i tell you mike i know i i know you know that's actually a beautiful story can i i know i believe in i believe in certain things i don't understand why the universe throws stuff at us i'll tell you one but i'm gonna keep it private be for the sake of the person that the story is about but the girl a girl

that my high school girlfriend um i hadn't spoken to her obviously and god knows how long right i was going to do a gig and i flew this was like um marco island florida remember marco island the gig you know the that gig yeah i always said no to that gig yeah i said yes a lot and i needed it and i flew into miami and then i drove i was rented a car to drive there yeah and on the way i thought oh we i lost my virginity in marco island florida to my high school girlfriend really swore to god uh-huh and so on the way there did it feel good no no i cried the whole time and on the way there um for some reason in my head i was like i actually gave her a call i haven't talked to her in so long but i was like actually i don't have her number on my phone it's

been 20 some odd years i remembered her phone number i don't i can't tell you how i can't tell you why i don't remember anybody's phone number i don't know i remembered her phone number wow it came to me i called her phone number and and she picked up which was even crazier like on the second ring and she said what's up and i said i'm not making a joke can i just add some rules something real quick go ahead if you're making this up i'm gonna be very furious i swear to god in my life i'm not okay i'm just saying at the end if you're if you go gotcha right no it's gonna make me very furious i promise i'm not all right go ahead i swear to god i'm not actually swear to god then go on it's actually not a happy ending

but all right so you so i called her it's not a happy ending so i called and she picked him she was like oh my god how are you so good to hear from you it's been so many i said yes i just wanted to say hi it's just crazy doing this gig and marco we you know it was so weird i was thinking oh god about high school all this up and she said oh i thought she's like i thought you called me because you knew i was like what do you mean she's like do you talk to anybody from home like when you and i not and i don't really from high school not really and she said oh um i have cancer i swear to god i'm not making a joke javi and i don't know why i'm smiling because you think i'm coming with a curveball yeah and i said really and she said yeah you know and it's i can live with

it and all the stuff bob i'm not and she said i can live with it it's not going to be life ending but it's i thought that's why you called and something in the universe had told me to call so my point is i i somewhat believe in it too because i was like why would i call her yeah something was like give her a call so did and then did you wish did you help her out in any kind of way did it well there's nothing there's nothing i could do but i but we talked for a while and it was kind of nice that i would like we had this reconnection yeah but i thought it was so strange because why i would have never called her otherwise it was just like it was i would never what then what then why when i said when we said earlier do you believe in coincidence is not going to want

the other way this is for the show just for all for comedy yeah for the show but but how crazy though right like i know okay so i don't i believe in um i believe in sometimes the universe will send you these weird small things and you either do them or or you totally ignore them but they may not always be come to fruition have you ever had that route have you ever had something give you like a signal to do something and then you you adhere to it or you're just so anti everything you're such an angsty little and she's getting worse as time goes on yeah no but um at the calliola and tita bobby were talking about my real dad and then after two weeks he called after many years and then yeah that that's the only thing that was a coincidence they were

talking about a many called yeah and that's kind of creepy yeah so like because you hadn't talked to him for how long i talked to him when i was 10 and then he ignored me again what do you mean like you would call him and he wouldn't reach out back to you yeah yeah that's so mean so mean it's your kid i know what and why though why was he is he had another family yeah oh he liked he liked the other one more yeah i guess oh man don't say that well if they're better they're better but they were better obviously wait he had another family in korea yeah wow how many kids two kids do you know who they are at all no never met him so when we i remember bringing it up i was out of the blue because i think i was like i don't know what popped in my head but i was like i knew giovanni her step

dad i love that guy you know giovanni is he italian no no that's just you know giovanni's in italian you know they have strange names that's an italian name yeah giovanni's like xpro and they have like names that shouldn't be named after golf balls what is yeah no they have like names like um dilithium crystal would be a name i'm not i'll be real they just where do they get these names campfire they just take an english word yeah yeah you could you literally can call some hey what's up campfire he's like oh hey hey yeah so he's my brother quadra so i was out to myself i go well if and then i found out that giovanni you know me was ruby see giovanni ruby see his recipe right right and i go um what happened to you really i asked and we talked about a real

dad and all of a sudden a couple weeks later he called out of nowhere i talked to my real dad my biological father a couple days ago because my grandfather died two days ago are you happy no i feel sad about it he did he passed away he was a great man what was his name dominic how did he die gun down no no how did he die don't make it a joke he got into a fistfight oh 92 he got to the boy he got to a fistfight yeah over a parking spot it's so funny he's 92 he how do you think he died yeah he died from natural causes yeah yeah yeah can you i can't believe you know i talked to him i talked to him this is true we went out to palm springs on saturday and i i talked to him uh on saturday and went to palm springs and i gotta tell you there is

something we're getting very serious on this podcast for some reason there is some rudy there's something about when somebody knows they're gonna die that they talk differently do you understand what i mean by that no i don't he sounded different like he's all my dad did the same thing he sounded that said i think i'm gonna die i'm like he's that's different he just sounded he sounded um dude he sounded like it was like a high amount of clarity if you understand what i mean by that but was he like was he analyzing his life was he well you know his kids were there with him all the time right that my my dad and brothers and sisters that but i think he was just like really excited and happy to have like so much family around him during a shitty time yeah that i

think you physically feel and you emote differently but when you spoke on the phone you wouldn't have told you wouldn't have been able to say this guy's gonna die you'd be like he's like he's in a great fucking mood yeah but check this out if i was dying yeah i was an old man yeah soon and i knew it was soon and i knew i was gonna die right and i could just kind of like feel it you might not 100% believe you're gonna die right but then in your head you must think it's a possibility because you're old you gotta know you gotta know and if i had friends and family around right i wouldn't talk to juliana this one the same way as i do right right like fucking clean that or pick that up you're right who you talking to you know i mean that kind of thing i would probably say stuff like

you know what jules um it's been a real pleasure you would yeah and i you know i'm so glad i met you because family matters yeah and i would say that to everyone around me i would go even you i'd be like you know aside from all the yeah no i'll tell you what i would say what you're on your death bed right now do it lay down like lay down like you're in your death bed there there is that i would say this i would say um you know andrew growing up i always felt different and i you know even when i had friends i just didn't really completely identify with them and um as i got as i got older and i followed my dreams as a comic and stuff like that i felt like i met my people and um you know when i met you you know it it literally felt like i'd known you all my life and that you

are you want you and i are like um you know souls that knew each other in previous lives that's what it felt like and i just want to say that it was a real play and i also think that that you're a really a talented guy and it makes me feel you know it makes me feel talented that people like you right talented people you may want to be around me and work with me and working with you was a pleasure i learned a lot and i have to say man i love you i love you too i would say something like that that's so nice that's a feel so i mean it moved me no now i challenge you okay to say something as moving i'm on my death yes i challenge you yeah you walk into my house with a room but but try to be real because i was that's what i would really say andy hey fuck

do andy it's me bob we recorded two weeks ago what do you know i can't believe you let jules drive it she hit me so hard with the previous yes but it's okay i forgive her and i want to take this moment to say say what i want to say bobby bobby you light up my life you let me have my fucking moment sorry bobby just the brakes are bobby yeah go ahead i'm here i've always thought that you were the bob i'm gone by then you're gone yeah i faked it no i'm not dead okay i honestly this is what i really would say to you you know what can i just you know i say to you so insulting what

you know what i would say to you be real you know what i'd say to you yeah go ahead you're all right kid you're right you don't have it in you i would say you really you really don't have it in you you don't have it in you i would say thanks to be real and heartfelt no because yours was so nice we are gonna play a quiz game again uh trivia about san patrick's day yeah of course because i and i if i don't win this yeah i'm gonna be so pissed off what it's best i mean it's uh first to what three five five five so and you guys i don't know anything i last got question i don't know anything about san patrick yes you do we've talked about it on the show before i have to give you a whole history i don't know where it's from i don't know why they're doing it well it's from

ireland you know that okay well uh i can we can do a trial round if you guys know just no let's know let's start it out play it yeah okay so we're gonna start with rudy rudy what wait wait wait you don't ask the question we all but what's the buzzer no because you guys can still if she doesn't know the answer you guys can fight to still rudy of which country is san patrick the patreon saint ireland correct one point for rudy it's like he sets it up for her just to win every time if i don't get a softball one like that i'm gonna fucking kill you what did san patrick believe a sham brock represented luck you don't have to buzz oh that's not correct read the question again what did san patrick believe a sham brock represented okay

okay the father son and the holy ghost correct the holy trinity the holy trinity okay hell yeah i got a stolen point from bobe now it's my question yes andrew god bless by the way god bless what are the odds of finding a four leaf clover what are the odds of finding a four leaf clover you know one in one in one in a hundred thousand bobby zero percent they don't exist okay rudy they do they do yeah rudy um i don't know um i don't know let me know can i answer it again no you did one you're done she has to go one in four no no did that no okay one in five thousand no but you are closer is one in ten thousand so we're gonna give it to you two point rudy fuck you undress spanish bitch rudy okay which

us city dices river green annually to celebrate san patrick's day what um um i don't know san francisco she has to answer she just did san francisco yeah bobby philadelphia nope okay we're out of time nobody no it's mine i get to answer sorry chicago illinois chicago i get to fucking give me the points don't get it yes i fucking do fuck you we that's what this is all about i got it andres you know i did well yes but it got in late you know what the fuck do you mean what the fuck do you mean if they don't get it right then we get a chance to answer and he buzzed in you know what that's true he gets it no but you go ahead do it again bobby what are the three colors of the irish flag white green and orange

correct yes you don't need a buzz oh i don't i get a point yes okay you have one okay andrew how many churches and cathedrals are named after san patrick in ireland oh my god fuck you you fuck you um 112 bobby 312 2000 okay i don't think i'm you guys get this point 60 60 i'm closest yeah it's too off too off too off dude i'm gonna fucking call ice on you i'm gonna call fucking ice you're going back to spain bitch you keep he's got fucking attitude do you notice that it's it's insane he's gonna get fired how do i call ice can you call go ahead keep ready okay fill in the blank blank me i'm irish blank me i'm irish you have to fill up fill in the blank fill out the blank part what um i'm actually called george george me i'm irish

george me i'm irish god you are so dumb fuck me i'm irish no it's kiss me i'm irish i get that point too i literally just called ice the whole mine security line i'm getting you deported dude andre you got the point andrew yeah but i've had fucking eight points go ahead and and and you're and you said we're tied all right no you're winning by a lot yeah no three two two you're winning by more than that no you're not now keep going i got chicago i got the holy trinity too late bobby thank you according to the legend what animal did san patrick chase out of island a troll no okay don't stop that or i'm gonna leave go ahead really a rabbit uh snakes yes yeah you know i'm getting all these

right andrew yeah what year did the annual shamrock ceremony in the white house started in 1976 1980 1974 correct good really really good guess rudy all right enough enough somebody has to clean that okay yeah they do oh yeah bobby what city in the sinlog santo ninho festival held every year what city is the cinco what is it sinolog sinolog sinolog what sinolog santo silo silo silo santo i'm not done brazil no san paulo no rudy sebu correct so annoying he does question just for her yeah can we do a competition right now that's not fucking same patrick today related same patrick's day i know but let's just do another one about like

godzilla or something that we might want to what about a star trek yeah let's do one on star trek i'm never gonna get anything i don't know anything about star trek go ahead how many movies uh are in the star trek franchise oh my god that's so hard seven no there's way more including next generation yes okay nerd this is such a nerd shit i'm drinking another beer i would say 10 it's probably 12 no 11 well rudy's the closest 13 told you i said i should have said 12 and this is it so rudy wins thank you for being a bad friend fuck you i'm done thank you for being a bad friend i guess that's that hey i'm doing a couple of dates okay uh i'm filling out the

calendar a little bit for the fall but right now i've got salt lake city which is almost all sold out if not sold out we're adding shows and also uh addison improv which is one of your favorites i love it close near dallas people like is a far from girl if you can drive there go to andrew santino dot com for tickets andrew santino dot com for those tickets