Bad Friends - The Suckerblow!

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

Tour Tickets: https://www.ticketmaster.com/bad-friends-with-andrew-santino-bobby-tickets/artist/2920876 code:BADFRIENDS Thank you to our Sponsors: https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://vroom.com & https://www.zocdoc.com/badfriends & https://www.forthepeople.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 The Bad Friends Tour Is Up 1:28 Santino is a Hollywood Star 12:05 Hitler's Bed 18:08 Santino's Dubai Dream 26:20 Bobby's Dead Skin Fear 32:08 Carlos Is Going to Die Alone 35:09 Who Suckerblows Bobby? 40:50 Jessie's Take on Bobby's Dates 44:50 Juice's Island 54:20 Naked and Locked Out of his Room 1:05:55 Carlos' Wildest Youth Stories  More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Fancy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, bad friends! I know you're not gonna believe me, but I have a huge update for all of you. The Bad Friends Tour is finally here. We locked our dates. We're gonna be around the country, 30 cities between April and June, and we can wait to go and meet you all in person. You can get tickets tomorrow at 12 p.m. on LiveNation.com or clicking on the link in the description below. It's gonna be awesome and we can wait to be on the road with all of you. And for those of you who have been asking me constantly about the podcasting course that we're doing in LA, I know I'm not responding. It's too overwhelming sometimes, but we're doing it again. I know the first one sold out super fast and we wanted to give that experience to as many

people as possible. So we're doing it again in April and we'll do a longer one in the summer. If you are curious about it and want to learn how to be a producer, go to 7x.net and check us out. Also, happy Monday. Enjoy the show. I'm not gonna be here today, but you guys will have Carlos and you'll learn a lot of things about Carlos. So wait until the end and you'll find me later. Again, enjoy the show. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. The episode is off to a hot start. A lot better than the last episode with all the students. Thanks a lot, fancybee. You're fired. Fancybee's of course gone because he brought in 37 people into our studio. That's

about 200 square feet. So George is back in attack. George, thanks for coming here. I am. And he's backed by his trusty, Mexican steed, Carlos. So I woke up this morning and I knew that we had a pod and I'm super sick and I don't know what I have. We have a COVID test going, but I had to come because Andrew's a Hollywood star. I forget. Here's the deal. Here's the deal, man. The real deal, Leo, is this, right? Let's get real. California Hospital still stressed as flu RSV COVID remain at its highest peak. Exactly. And here's the deal, dude. It's like, you know, sometimes, you know, you start a podcast with somebody and they're at your level and all of a sudden, you know, you plant the seed and it turns into a star, right? And

that's what we got here, baby. And let's give Andrew Santino a round of applause because he's going to work nonstop from here and on, right? With his fucking, what are you doing? I just want to put some of that in the sky because you're talking this way. Yeah, I'll suck this way, right? Yeah. And I, it's not, why do you do that? You think it's a resentment? I was going to say something similar. What, what? You think it's hostility coming out of mine? Like maybe. I'm so, so I love them. No, let's be real. Let's be real for a second. It's a family. Thank you, Carly. Yeah, yeah. Let's be real. Let's be real. All right. Good news is you do not have COVID. Thank you so much. Let's be real. Wait, wait, wait. You have herpes. This is, I got a dual

test. I've had it. Yeah, no, I know. It just reminds me. I don't have herpes. Let's listen. Ooh, had to cover it up. Had to go back on it. Anyway, congratulations. I think you're faking for attention because Andrew's getting a lot of attention right now. Love Juicy so much. She's on to something. Yeah, I get it. I hope you are because I hate to see you sick. It's good. I understand everything. Love the juice. Did I not give you a raise today? I love you so much, Bobby. It's interesting. Your boss gives you a raise and then you slam him out for that. That's why you hired me. You like it. That's right. We do actually like it. I like it a lot. I gave you the raise, by the way, not him. No, he did. It makes me so angry. You were gone when I

gave her the phrase. She asked me, she goes, do you think it's okay if I ask Bobby about the raise? I said, of course. She goes, I want to make him feel like he gave it to me. When it comes to any good things with our employees and stuff, I'm the guy that does it. You rehab it. You spend zero amount of time on anybody but yourself and that's a fact. You've never done anything for these guys? Never. He did another thing huge for me, though. What? I have my first big audition coming up. Can I talk about that? I want you to get it so bad. Defend me every once in a while when he just said that. I just did. Oh, thank you. That's what I did. This piece of shit. You know what I mean? Idiot. It's so when you say things, it's so, you know, it makes me so angry and I'm so sick. I can't defend myself. You couldn't if you weren't.

Oh my god. What is wrong with you today, dude? We are bad friends today. Yeah, we are. I hate you. Go ahead. Oh my god. Go ahead. I love you. Juicy last night did a taping for Don't Tell Comedy that should be out soon with a bunch of our friends. Yeah, I met Chris O'Connor for the first time. And Joey Avery. I love Chris. I heard you did very good. Oh good. I kind of blacked out. I've never done a taping before and all I could think about on stage is all the cameras. Well, I heard that you said you blacked out. Connie told me that you said you felt like you blacked out during the set, but you heard you did very well. Santa Barbara no less, a very astute place to do comedy. Yeah, it was cold.

It was a little stuffy though, huh? It was outside, cold. Yeah, a little stuffy. I've never played it. You've never been to Santa Barbara to do shows? I've been there. I've just never done shows there. I did a show back in the day with Theo, me, Theo and somebody else years and years and years ago. And it was like a bar room. A guy used to have a bar show up there. And it was great because it was UCSB kids. But I've heard horror stories of going up there because it's, you know, Santa Barbara is like rich, really. It's like Beverly Hills Plus. Yeah, they laugh like this. Oh, they do. They laugh Japanese with their pinkies out. I love when the Japanese do that. And then they cover their, you know, it's so funny. It's so funny. Can I say about the Japanese

please or Asia? Well, they love Japanese laugh with their hands over their face. They had they've had COVID the whole time. Oh, is that why they do that? Think about it. Right? Right? They've had COVID the whole time. Wow. Yeah. That's why you know how COVID spread? One girl forgot to do it. Death. 7000 deaths. Wow. It's incredible. I got taught about something, a good fact. A good fact. I learned Gugu with us. This is pretty insane. What is that? Can jealousy physically make you ill? According to Jonathan DeVosch, neuroscientist at the University of Halifax. Carlos, Carlos, Carlos, Carlos. The sympathetic nervous system buckles under the stress of jealousy, quickening the heart

and spiking Carlos blood pressure. Pretty wild. Oh, can I say something? I know that symptoms can be mimicked. Okay. You know, dude, I swear to fucking God right now, dude. We're on the wrong foot. I got you to back Copenhagen. He did. Yeah, you did. And I gave you $100 for it. I try to give you the hundred. I know, but I get to keep it. So my point is, is this, okay? Stop this. And you know what? I'm going to address it now. I'm just trying to address it now. Got it. What are the 10 tips to overcome it? Click on the link. Don't cough this way. Cough this way. Cough this way. Cough this way. Listen, I was jealous of you. Why? Let me just get this off my chest. We don't go off of the same stuff. Well, you're laughing. I'm just, can you not defend yourself and let me

express myself? That'd be cool. Okay. I'll wait till you're done attacking me. Then I'll fucking. I'm not attacking you. This is a pure apology. Okay, go ahead. Okay. I was, I did call my agency the other day and I go, Hey man, what's going on? Andrew's booking all these things, right? And they're like, calm down. And I go, I'm calm. And then I called my sponsor and my A sponsor. And he goes, do you love Andrew? I go, I do. And he goes, are you happy for him? I go, you know what? I'm genuinely happy for him. I think you're so talented. When I see you on stage performing and that, dude, I saw half of cheeseburger. So good. Thanks. No, I'm being real. Okay. Well, thank you. You shot well too. Thank you. I never directed that. I wanted

to direct mine maybe. Shut up. No, I'm being real. I directed it. That's great. You did that? I did it. That's incredible. Can you direct my special? Come on. Be real. I'm being serious. Honestly, dude, I'm sick right now. And you know, so you can stop this. I genuinely am so happy for you. I love you. Thank you. And it couldn't happen to a better guy. Okay. Don't go over the top. No, I'm not going over the top. This is the last thing I'm going to say. Okay. And we don't have to talk about it again, right? I'm going to kill myself. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Just couldn't go. Yeah, I shoot myself with the facial shotgun. So one. No, I'm really happy for you. But if you do kill yourself, can I have your house? Yes. All right.

You're going to have a house. I feel terrible. You're going to Hawaii soon. You're going to Hawaii, huh? Hey, I was trying to be nice to you. I'm going to Hawaii soon. What? What? What? What? What did you say? I'm going to Hawaii. Yeah, the guy's going to Hawaii. The guy goes to Hawaii like nine times a year. I get one fucking movie. He's like, wait, you're such a fucking brat. You live in Hawaii half the fucking year. You know what I mean? I go one little thing. What if Andrew becomes like the next Brad Pitt and then he puts you in all his movies? Hell yeah. Brad Pitt. I don't think Brad Pitt puts anybody in any movies, by the way. You mean Sandler, Sand Dog? Yeah, like

Sandler. Is it? Every time I'm not at the store, Tarantino's there. Yeah, last night he was there again. I saw that on Instagram. Yeah. I've never been there when he's there. Yeah, yeah. Every time I'm there, not there. No. Yeah. But every time I'm not there and he's always hanging out with me. When you were there, Ron Jeremy was there. Every time. Passed out in the back. Every time. Yeah, yeah. You know he's in prison for the rest of his life. I know. He looks terrible. Yeah. Have you seen, remember he used to snore in the back? 100%. He would fall asleep in the room. He would fall asleep in the bucket seats. Yeah. Like, was he drunk or high? I don't remember. Holy shit. That's what he looks like. Yeah, he looks terrible. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he looks terrible.

Yeah. Look at him. All right. Well, can I be honest? Yeah. I think this is bullshit. He looks like a Morton jet. You don't think that's him? No, I think that's him. But I think, no, I think it's not the Illuminati. No, I do think that's him. I'm just saying, I think he quickly let himself go once he found out he was definitely going to get busted for all of his crimes. So he's trying to use, you know, Harvey Weinstein, it's like they use their like, I'm just old. I might die. Don't put me away in the bad place. It's like, you did so much bad stuff. They got you, dude. It's like he dyed his hair gray. Yeah. Like, look at this thing, like this whole fucking, like he was walking like a month before this. Right. It's great because, you know, sometimes

I use the bathrooms, the public bathrooms with the, you know, with the handicap thing. Yeah. And then I take a shit in there. And then when I walk out, there's a handicap person, you know what I mean, waiting for it. And then I do a walk. You do a little walk. Oh yeah, I have to do a walk because you have to feel, but you can't, I don't want to get a confrontation with the guy. What would he, okay, listen, I'm in a wheelchair. You walk out normal. I see you, right? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm doing a wheelie to stop you. Whoa. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Bye. And I leave. But then I wheel in. Yeah, yeah. I look in the toilet bowl and I see what's not a handicap guy shit. And I wheel back.

Wait, you can tell by poo? Oh yeah. Can you tell by poo? I think that's how they find out when they're young. Oh, you know what, dude? You can check their poo. You can taste it and you can tell. You know, I would poo tarred light. Oh boy. What do you mean? What do you mean? You can poo tarred light. Sure, man. Yeah. Sure, man. I want you to look something up that I learned that was wild. There was a guy, Bobby, that bought Hitler's bed and he sleeps in it every day. Google this guy. This is a real man, man who sleeps in Hitler's bed. It's Kanye. Yeah. This dude bought Hitler's actual bed and he sleeps in it. What? Every day of his life. Has it just a little, just snoozing on Hitler's bed. And he's like the biggest collector of Hitler memorabilia this dude.

And he sleeps in Hitler's bed. Is he, can you imagine? Is he racist? No, just likes Hitler. Oh, I get it. He also has this wax figure. Look at, he has a wax figure of Hitler in his crib. Wow. That's his dining room. Imagine you go to like a cute little Airbnb. You walk in and it's this fucking guy. I imagine this guy like he's on a dating site and he just loves, he brings a Jewish girl over for dinner. It's insane. Yeah, yeah, like Sarah Silverman. There's Hitler's bed right there. Where? Right there. That's his bed? There it is. Oh, queen size. Or is that a full? It looks like a full. I think a full is a queen, eh? What's the difference? That was smaller. What's the, what's the different? Oh, it goes single.

Hey, hey, we should be asking her. Yeah. Tell us how the beds go. Single, full, queen, king, right? California king. California king. Texas king. Well, there's a Texas king? Oh, there's a bunch of kings. Kings range in different ways, but I have a California king. I have a California king. What is Texas king bigger? I think Texas king is the biggest. It's gotta be. I want a Texas king. Is there a difference? I can't tell. A California king is just wider than it is long. The Texas is 14 inches wider. Whoa, even wider. And eight inches longer. Whoa, we gotta get a Texas king. Can I tell you the problem though? Not enough places make fabrics to fit that. Yeah, that's true. You can't get

partial. Right, right, right. You can't go to, what do you get your fabrics? I go down to, I go down to downtown LA to the fabric, fabric district. And I have them hand stitch it for me. So I go to bed, bed, beyond. That's not a good place? All right, well, I'm going to the beyond part, downtown LA. You're just going to bed and bath. I'm actually going to the beyond. Oh, the beyond part. And it's just a little tiny girl. She has one eye. And I don't even, she's kind of psychoptic. I don't even know what language she speaks, but she just kind of clicks at me and boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. The clicks are probably her horse feet. Oh, when she's walking towards you. Oh yeah, and I just tell her what I want. And she makes it. It's unbelievable.

That's exactly what she sounds like. What she's talking backwards. What you have to do is, I've met people like that. Yeah. What you have to do is record them, slow down, and then reverse it. Shit, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to do it in front of them. You can't do it in front of them. Because I think it's rude. It's like Google a little translating in front of her. I can't back me on my own. Oh, come on, Juice, that was easy. Yeah, go ahead.

I'm very jealous of Andrew. It's like she brings it back. The kid is full circle when it comes to writing jokes. There's no doubt about that. I'm practicing my memory, sorry. It's okay. All Simer's runs in her family. She wants to make sure she's ahead of him.

Really? Yeah. Enjoy. You're at the Bad Friends Studio. Sometimes you just have to tell her because she'll forget where she is. When does the Don't Tell Comedy set come out? Probably a couple months,

and I think I'll just take some clips from it and then when the club's, what's happening is I get into a club and then they'll find anything online to post of me and then people, I'm reaching an audience. Not like the Bad Friends family. Everyone's like really awesome. Even the people who don't like me in the fan base are like.

Who doesn't like you in the fan base? Well, they're even nice. They'll be like, I don't really find her funny, but she's very nice. Like that's the kind of hate comedy. Don't read it. I know. What are you reading that shit for?

I'm gonna stop, because now I'm reaching like strangers, like people that don't know anything about me and the comments are like, die. I hope you die. I hate your guts. Yeah, yeah. Please die.

Yeah, don't read it. Kill yourself. Like I get a lot of really big nasty comments. Here's what's wild about, who's just wild about all those comments that say die? You will. So it's like, just wait. Oh, you're right.

You know, I always say, wait, just chill out. I'm gonna, will you fucking cool it? Stop telling me what I'm gonna do. Yeah. And also it's like, my life has been so much happier not reading any of that. I have to stop. You read it?

No, dude, I don't, I couldn't care less. I couldn't care. Why care? That's why I don't want to reread it. Yeah, I don't care. I think it's fucking nonsensical. It's all fucking. But then you get good messages too,

like cameo reached out to me. Oh, you can do some cams? They sent me an email saying they work with you and how to have great success. I'm sorry, this wasn't a slam to you, Bobby. I don't do cameo. No, I know it. I didn't think that.

I could read you the conversation I've had. They've reached out to me every week for the last five years. And I say, no. You know what's so weird? Is they view, someone else has said that to me. I don't do cameo. You do cameo. I've ordered a cameo from you.

I've never done it. I don't do cameo and they say that I do. And I was like, I don't do it. And they're Chicago people that started it. And then years ago, when they first started, the person that started it signed me up for it and was like, you got to do one. And I got all these requests.

And I think I might have done one. And then immediately when I did it, I quit. I was like, no, thank you. And I never even got paid because the money had to go through like Zell at the time or something. And I didn't have one. And I was like, I don't know what that is.

It was brand new. So I immediately was like, no, thank you. And since then, they've never stopped being like, why would you come back? And I'm like, I just, I don't, I can't. We should probably cut this out, but they said that you make up to like 100,000 a year. Me?

Wow. In case I don't know if I'm miscloting the email. Well, what's crazy is you can look, I'm not on it. I know. Unless someone is doing it for me. I mean, that would be good. And they're making a shit sort of money. They're making a ton of money.

I'm not on it. Floyd Mayweather. 15 grand. 15,000? That's what I'll do. Then I'll never have to make one. It's actually kind of tight. I'm sure somebody's bought it from him before though.

You know? Yeah. Some fucking grand. Some buy from Dubai, some prints of Dubai. Those guys have so much money. I daydream in the shower about one of them buying me as a human. I swear to God, I have daydreams in the shower.

Well, like some Dubai prints is like, I will buy you. I can buy you. And I'm like, yeah, do it. And he's like, you will be my slave. I will buy you. You do what I want. And I was like, do it. And he gives me money.

And then I have to fly to Dubai and do whatever he wants. Whenever, like in the middle of the day, he'll be like, dance for us for hours. And I will. Yeah. Right. And I'll do it. I got to be there with you.

You're coming. First of all, you don't have a choice. The moment I get paid, I'm calling you and I'm going, buddy, we got bought by Dubai. And I'm going to go, woo-hoo, right? And we're going to go to Dubai, you and I. Your first class, I'm in the overhead compartment. No, no, no, you're sitting on my lap.

No, overhead compartment, overhead. How about this, we'll trade. I'll sit on your lap. All right, all right. We go, right? And then all of a sudden, I got the coins. Do I bring coins? Why would we bring coins?

I don't know what they use there. Money? They do. They have money like here, buddy. How about pebbles? They use pebbles too. Yeah, rubies. Don't, you have to Google it.

You don't have to Google it. One. You have to Google it. It ruins the comedy, right? All right, so anyway. No, but by the way, did you see that? What? What is it called there? The Durhum?

Yeah. So I bring the Durhum. Look at how much money we could make there. That's incredible. United States, one Durhum is only worth a quarter of our money. So then, we'd get four times our money. Would you tell them beforehand that you're bringing me

or when we get there, you're gonna say, I brought him? They'll just know. They'll just assume. Oh, so it's, we're a package deal. We are a package deal. They already know that? We are a package deal. Do I get my own room?

We share. We share. Oh. But can I tell you in the contract? What? It's Texas King bed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should have plenty of room.

Yeah, yeah, I gotta wear one of those. What are the garments they were? I like the head pieces. Would you share a bed with me if we had to travel like that? I would be too hard. If you and I were like in Auschwitz, I would. What? Why would we be there?

Back in the day, I've thought about that. In the forties, we were Jews. I would share a bed with you. Thank you. It would keep each other warm. What's so funny? In a holocaust is the only situation. Yeah, you know, like outside bed.

Oh, no, no, no, I know where. I know where we're not sure where. Almastad. Oh, Almastad. You and I, yeah, but you know why? Because I, because they're gonna throw us off overboard. I know, I know it. They would throw us overboard, right?

And I would need to be with you. Can you imagine you and I on a boat, they would kill us so fast. What do you mean? If it was like a boat of pirates and they captured us and they were trying to like use us as ransom, within an hour, they would be sick of our bullshit. They would throw you and I overboard immediately.

Would you rather have been tied or would you rather be loose? What do you mean, and thrown into the ocean? Yeah, I don't want to be tied and thrown in the ocean because I mean, but I want to give me a shot. I would get into an argument with a guy with a gun just to shoot me. I'd be like, just shoot me. I don't want to drown.

I'd do drowning is my actual nightmare. There was a video that I saw online. This guy, these guys that swim, they put a hole in the water and they swim under, up to another hole. You know what I'm talking about, George? These people, they do swimming in frozen fucking lakes. Yeah, they're swimming under ice, yeah.

And they will swim under the ice. Dude, it is my anxiety nightmare. And then one dude couldn't find his way out and they were trying to break the ice and they couldn't get through. And he almost didn't fucking make it. Look at this though. They'll literally punch one hole and punch another hole

and they'll swim down through the ice. Why do they always look like Adam divine? They always look like Adam divine. They do, they do. That does. There's Adam. There's Thumper. Wim Hof did it to Ned's eyeballs,

like froze over or something. So he couldn't even see. What? Like halfway through his eyeball, like his corny or something froze over. He couldn't see and he almost like he got lost. Wait, wait, wait. Your eyeball can freeze?

And you, yes, and you can drown. So what they do is they have a rope and it's a safety rope and you have to follow the rope because they can't see anything really. So if they can't find the rope though, you die. You absolutely die. And tons of people do this. This is like for sport and it's batshit crazy.

No, that's not true. Not tons of people. Tons of white people do it. Well, yeah, I mean, we're the best at wackadoo stuff. How many black people have gone skydiving since its inception? Six? It's really funny.

Think about it. I've never seen a Korean skydive. I've never seen anybody but white skydive. My whole, every photo- I've seen a black. Really? Yeah, yeah. Skydivers and watch how many photos we'll put.

It'll be all white dudes. Crazy fucking whites. Oh, look at the first photo of the guy's hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that guy. Yeah, dude. Four photos in. Go to four photos.

Yeah, that guy. That's the guy that skydives with that girl. They look like Harry Styles, the skydivers. I just, it's just, it's such a white thing to jump out of an airplane. Yeah. Have you ever done this juice? Would you do it?

No. If we do bad friend skydiving, would you do it? Heights is my drowning. Heights is your drowning. Oh, no. But if he does the ice thing, would you do the thing? Yeah. You gotta conquer the ice thing.

We gotta do the ice thing with you. Wait, why? Yeah, why? I'm so scared of that. I don't have fear. So like, you know what I mean? I don't have to do nothing. You have so many fears.

I have no fears. Ask me a question. Ask me a few questions. Ask me, ask, ask away. I am. Yeah, go ahead. Look at me. Are you afraid of being alone?

You got me. Fuck first question. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. I'm not, no. Look at me. I'm not. No.

Yeah, you are. I'm not. Yes, you are. Hey. Yes, you are. No, no, no. Yes, you are. No, but no, in terms of like that, about like.

Oh, no, that's a fear. That's a real fear and that's a physical fear because it physically manifests. Being alone can fucking kill you. Yeah. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp, I gotta tell ya,

has been with us for a long time because Bobby and I believe in therapy. We've talked pretty openly on this show about mental health and mental health awareness and getting help with your mental health. And I do think talking to someone is an extremely good alternative to just sitting in your house by yourself,

thinking about too much stuff and not getting it out. When you're at your best, you can do great things. Am I not right? I agree. You do the best stuff when you're at your best. Exactly, but sometimes life gets you bogged down. Sometimes your eyes get sad. That's right.

And you may feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up in the way that you want to. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you because when you feel empowered, you're more prepared to take on everything life throws at you. I totally agree, man.

If you're thinking about giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. Convenient, flexible, affordable, entirely done on the internet. You gotta fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. If you are looking to talk to someone,

this is a great way to try from the comfort of your own home. It's not scary, it's easy to do, and you can switch therapist at any time. If you wanna live a more empowered life, Therapy can get you air. Visit betterhelp.com slash badfriends today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash badfriends. Vroom.com. With Vroom, you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you. What happened? You bought a car, didn't you? I did, and during the summer, I went to a bunch of lots.

I went to the hot Pasadena, hot Burbank. I was so frustrated, but you know what? I went to Vroom.com and that's where I got my car because Vroom is the better way to buy your next ride, Andrew. That's right. You never have to haggle or negotiate the price of a car so you know you're getting a good deal.

You got a full week or 250 miles, whichever comes first to make sure your new ride is right for you. Bobby got to drive his car around and guess what? He loved it because he knew what he wanted. And Vroom, it's the better way to buy. You don't gotta go around wasting time

trying to find all the things that fit for you. You do it from your computer, man. It's that easy or the comfort of your phone in your home. All the cars on Vroom.com come with a 90-day limited warranty and one year of roadside assistance nationwide. They give you the peace of mind when you're on the road. You can trade in your old car, by the way.

If you got an old one when you buy a new one or you can even just sell your car to Vroom. When you sell your car on Vroom, you get a price instantly, Bobby. You can buy a car from Vroom entirely online. So next time you need to buy a car, just grab your phone, go to Vroom.com and check out thousands of cars.

That's right, go to Vroom.com and check out thousands of cars today. Look at the people that go out to the woods that live out in the woods in the middle of nowhere. They go crazy and then they die. You need human touch, you need human contact, you need conversation. I have a fear of, this is gonna sound crazy.

What? But I saw a documentary with Indians in it. Indian people from India. Indians from India. Some guy had dry skin on his elbow, to hear me out. And I feel like there's flakes. And I have a fear of those flakes coming on my face. On your face?

Yeah. Like a powder of Indian flakes on the, what's the funny? I'm trying to follow. Juicy, this is an extremely legitimate fear. It's a fear. This is a fear that many people have. Face? I'm so sick right now, I have no idea why I'm here.

What's the name? I'm so tired. Am I not making, this episode, is it terrible? Yeah, I like it. It's gonna be real. No, it's fun. No, honestly. Yeah.

Can I leave? Just relax, will ya? Hey. Let's go on a walk, let's go on a walk. Carlos. I feel like I'm drowning. Look up, look up the fear of dead skin. Because I guarantee you there's a phobia attached to dead skin.

Fear of dead skin, what's it called? There it is. Necrophobia. Necrophobia, a specific phobia that involves a fear of dead things, things that are associated with death. What about skin? Fear of skin, do fear of skin. What is that one?

Athazagra, bro. Oh my God, that's Bobby. That's Bobby. Wait, stay there. What is it? That is Bobby, zoom in. I don't even know how to say this, this is Bobby Lee. Athazagrophobia.

Athazagrophobia is the fear of forgetting someone or someone as fear or the fear of being forgotten. You don't wanna be forgotten. Athazagra. You're an Athazagra for sure. You really are. Don't forget. What is this?

Linophobia is the fear of string? You have an extreme reaction when just thinking of string. Wow. Like a fucking shoelace? You just have Velcro shoes? It's like every cat. They all have that.

That's crazy. Right, just, yeah. Take it away. You're a cat, I knew you were a cat. You tell me you have no fears, Bob. No fear, dude. You bungee jump? No, I won't do it.

Well, there you go with this one. There it is. Yeah, you're right. Trifobia? I mean, all of it I'm afraid of. Tripophobia is an excessive reaction to things that resemble serious skin diseases. That's what you have, Bobby.

Tripophobia. Are you tripophobic? Yeah. Poor Bobby. Poor Bobby. What do you have the fear of, Juice? What are you afraid of? Well, the heights thing.

I know I'm afraid of other stuff, like. What are you afraid of, Carlos? Think about it, Juice. I'm afraid of loneliness. You are afraid of being alone. Like, yeah, so the thing you asked Bobby about, I was really afraid. You're gonna die alone for sure.

100%. For sure? Why would you say that? Dude, I'm gonna chase something right now, dude. You're just mad because I'm- I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I'm gonna be honest with you. I pulled up the-

I was sick for a second, but it just, once you said that made me so angry. Oh, did you can't hurt him with those shades on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With those shades on? You definitely have that thing where you're never gonna meet anybody. That's insane, I've been married.

You've never been in a relationship. I've known you for so long. I've been married. Yeah, he got married. Divorce, how long? Couple years. Yeah. I haven't-

And that could've ended day one. No, no, no, no, no. They really loved each other. I never met her. How are we friends? I never met her. You're always busy. You were with Kalilah in that new glow with her.

There you go. Yeah. Meanwhile, I met her. I went to their house up in the hills. Really? Yeah. What was she like? I mean, do you want me to speak about, yeah?

You guys are still friends? Yeah, she's cool. She was a very sweet person. She was a little unusual to look at. She had had a tragic accident when she was young. And about three quarters of her head was impaled. It was sunken in. Why are you laughing?

That's why I'm wearing these. I'm trying not to cry when I think about it. She had an impaled head. Are you really fucking real? And one of her legs, the foot faced the wrong way. It was nuts. You think I'm going to buy that? It was uneven.

One foot was. Do you know how complex- Her name was uneven. Uneven. Uneven. Uneven. Uneven Herrera. Uneven Herrera.

I can't believe it because you know how complex is fucking, you know what I mean? This guy- His pilot. Yeah. Dude, any imperfection. Like I'll show him a photo of a girl with a freckle. He's like, no.

Freckles are bad. Swipe left. You guys do- Swipe left, dude. You're Mr. Swipe left, dude. Right? You need perfection, dude. You don't have an indentation woman.

You don't have a woman with a fucking head thing. Because I never had been with, I told you this in secrecy and you call me racist. What? You've never been with a what? I've never been with an Asian. I know. But that doesn't mean I'm racist.

I know, but you would never go out with indentation, lady. Yes, you would. No, you wouldn't. Yes, you wouldn't. And you wouldn't either. Yes, I would. Are you out of your mind? You're complex, dude.

You have a palette. Let me tell you something. Yeah. Do you know what the good art is? Right? When you go to the museums, do you know what the good art is? Yeah. You go, that's good, right?

Yeah, right. You look at a Van Gogh, that's good, right? The Van Gogh can't talk. So if I met a woman with an indentation in her head, but I loved her personality, maybe I would fall in love. Yeah, Carlos was dating a Picasso. That's right. Yeah.

And I'm dating a Van Gogh. I'm married to a Van Gogh. That's what I meant. And you're with a Degas. That's not what I meant. What I meant is this. You know what good art is and bad art. You see, when you, I'm at this avocado.

Avocado, I love avocado. Right, but you know what a bad avocado looks like, right? Like Carlos. You squeeze, right? It's like Carlos. Yes. My point though is this, okay? You don't have a lady with the head thing, all right?

He lie, right? I'm going back to it, right? I want to look at a photo of your wife. I've never met her before. That's wife. Let me see. It's not his wife anymore. You keep saying that.

He's not married or anything. Whatever, whatever. He's gonna die alone. And I hate to be rude. I hate to be rude. But why do you think that's- He's gonna die alone. Yeah, we all do die alone.

We come from this world the same way we go out. No, I mean literally alone. You think? At the end of his life- He's gonna die. No one's gonna be around. Why? Why?

Look at him. His behavior. What's wrong with him? Dude, he's always alone. Every time I see him on the street walking down Ventura, he's by himself holding a bag always. What's in the bag? A plastic bag full of fucking broccoli and other items.

I don't know what he eats. It's from Trader Joe's. I need to go- Yeah, yeah. My point is that you're a lonely, lonely fucker. Right? Why are you doing that? You're a Mexican too, which makes it even worse.

I'm sorry. You're done. He's cracking me up. You're done with, dude. Okay, how about this? Let's bring it back to square one. Yeah, misery is your future. Is Juicy gonna die alone?

No. No, am I? No. Are you? No. Okay, so Carlos? Yes. All right.

You're done. He's sad, he's getting stoned. Lonely tears for you, dude, in the desert. And you know why he's doing this? Because you admitted out loud stupidly into the microphone that you're afraid of dying alone. You shouldn't have done that. Yeah, yeah.

You gave him a bullet. You're like, shoot. Honestly, out of all the people that I can imagine, that this is the honest truth. Of all the people? Thousands of people in my lifetime, right? And I'm thinking about the loneliest fuckers in that fucking group.

Yeah. Yeah, Carlos. What? You're the one. You know what, I do- Don't exist. You shouldn't exist right now. What do you gotta say?

I'm so sick. I'm so sorry. Thanks for the medicine. You got this Lucy, this message kicking in. I love it. Carlos bought you $70 worth of medicine. Jug it. Okay.

Okay, blue tongue. But George proved me wrong. I literally thought no one could quite possibly fuck this man. It's impossible. I literally thought it was a scientific fact. Yeah, I've got hidden game. He's got hidden game.

God, I wish you didn't said that. You know what? Not only did somebody pump him, he got a couple of kids out of it. Yeah. This guy made humans. You proved me wrong. And you know what, Carlos?

I've had two abortions. Good for, look at that. Look at that. So I got them pregnant. So he did. That's a sub-sub. Carlos, Carlos. Three actually.

Carlos, Carlos. George loves you. The question isn't, can you get laid? Will you 100% can get laid? Thank you. What I'm saying is that you're never gonna live with anybody or marry anybody or be in a relationship with anybody or be intimate with anybody

or like share feelings and ideas with anybody. That's insane. That's not insane. Look at you. Look in the mirror. Open your mouth. Projection because Kalyla just moved out. Ooh, this is 10.

That's a tough hit. I mean, that might've been, you sunk in battleship. That's a sucker blow from the bottom. That's not a sucker blow. That's a sucker blow. After everything you said, that is so insane. That's a sucker blow, dude.

To my heart, dude. You're like whaling on him and he did one little thing. One thing. He just turned over. He's not gone up. Didn't even hit. You sucker blowed me, dude. And I'm kind of, I'm so sick right now, dude.

Can you say sucker punch? That's not, blow is not a part of it. Sucker blow. A sucker blow is when I convince you, when I suck your dick and you didn't know it was coming. That's a sucker blow. Yeah. When you're looking up at the sky, I go,

Bobby, look at how beautiful the sunset is. And then I start blowing you. That's a sucker blow. You know what? I'm gonna keep calling it a sucker blow. That's what it feels like. Okay. I'm gonna say something to you right now, man.

You know what? Game on. Oh, shit. You want a war? I'll begin one. But you started the war. I don't care. And then I just made like a-

No, no, no. Here's the deal, dude. I'm calling it. I feel bad for you. Oh, no. When I saw you in fucking Mexico. I was in Hawaii with you. Oh, in Hawaii, I mean?

Yeah. I mean, see, that's the different. That's what I'm saying. You could be anywhere alone. Right. In my mind, you're in Afghanistan alone. You're in Australia alone. You're on the island alone.

Yeah. You know what I mean? You're in the big city alone. Walking down with a bag. Yep. You know what I mean? Full of fucking broccoli or whatever. Right.

I think it's better to be alone than in like a shitty relationship, though. Are you saying that I'm in one? No, I'm just saying that that's why I'm alone a lot because I'd rather like- No, I think I'm addicted to the pee. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

And I think you're strongly addicted to it. And I'm gonna tell you something, right? There's an intervention to you, right? It's not gonna fix you. The pee. PCP? No, not PCP. What's he addicted to?

PCC. Oh. I don't even like fuck a lot. It's like, I'll go on first dates, but I don't like, I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings or anything like that. That's not what I heard. What about your feelings?

I'm looking to like meet someone and wait, what did you hear, Bobby? That's not what I heard, my friend. Oh no. Well, what did you hear? It makes me mad what I heard. What did you hear? He has a beautiful penis.

Oh yeah. That's where it's all coming from. And that bummed you out. Yeah, and that's why I attacked him. That's my bad, dude. Oh, it's like, you know what? It's my bad, dude. I love you.

You know what I mean? I'm in the wrong. And I'll admit it. Okay. You have a beautiful penis. Davidson of Bad Friends? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is kind of the Pete Davidson of Bad Friends,

isn't he? And I attacked you and that was wrong of me. Pete Davidson, dude. You're the Pete Davidson. You're our Pete Davidson. Who's next? Who are you gonna date next? What famous person are you gonna get a tattoo removed

of next? Hmm. Nicky? Nicky. Glacier? Oh, really? She'll never know. She's with that guy.

No, no, Nicky Glacier. Oh yeah, she's dating somebody. I love her boyfriend. He's the best. Yeah. He's like, he looks like a soccer coach. He's my favorite. You like soccer coaches, don't you?

Yeah, I do. What is that? They look wholesome. They look pure. Pure to me. And he especially, I forgot his name, but I like him a lot. The next person that you date, Bob,

how about this? Let's target somebody to date for you. What do you mean? Well, I feel like you're kind of out in the abyss. You're just dating what's coming through. So how about let's target? It's so funny. It's so funny because you've now been around

some of the dates I've been on. Yeah. And I can see your face. I'm not judging. It's not that you're judging. It's not that you're judging. Yeah. There's a, let's go.

Keep talking. There's a feeling. There's a feeling of disapproval in your eyes. In what way? When I walked in the improv, I said, hello to everyone. It was so nice. I know you so well.

What did I do? Subtext. What did I, what were you thinking? What did you think I was thinking when I saw you with the girls in the room? What did you think I thought? When I walked in. You're trying to figure out the situation for us.

Correct. I wanted to know if they were comedians or they were strangers or who the fuck those people were. I know, but I can look at your eyes and I can go, okay, now he's getting understanding what the situation is. And there's a quick thing in your eyes that you go, I don't approve.

That's not true. You know what I thought? When I looked under that bar and saw you in the room with those girls, you know my first thought was, there's no room for me on that couch. I was like, no, that couch is fucking full. I'm sorry, that sucks.

No, I was just like, I can't get to sit down. I have to go in the other room. Yeah. And that you've also expressed things about girls that you've met that I've been dating of your disapproval. That's not true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you have.

I swear to God, let's admit that for a second. I never said anything negative about them. I just said, I think you can do better. Right, no, no. That's a nice thing. Isn't that a nice? That's all you said. You said, I don't like them.

You said that. First of all, time out. First of all, I only said I didn't like one of them. Two of them. Two of them, yeah. But one of them you agreed, and the other one you didn't understand, but you did eventually.

But one of them, we said together. I said, do not like, and you go, I don't either. Okay. In the elevator, we said it together. I know, but my point is, is that you have had strong opinions about it. Well, you're my best friend. What do you want me to do?

Just fucking let you go out there. I just want the booze. I know. I just want the booze. I'm trying to protect my little boy. You know what I'm afraid of? You want to know what I'm afraid of? I'm trying to find the one.

I'm afraid of you getting taken advantage of. How about that? Oh, they're all taking advantage of me, baby. Oh. By the way, you're welcome. I texted you last night at the restaurant that you should go to the Italian joint. It looks great.

It's fucking really good. No one's taken advantage of you. You better not let people take advantage of you. Yeah, I've had some strange things. Like what? I don't want to get into it. I don't want all this stuff talked about. I don't even feel like it matters.

All right, all right. Dark shit. No, because it's like, because of people here, you know, we had to talk about what person. Can I tell you something that's going to make you mad, maybe? Well, might as well double down on the sucker blows. Blow him again, Andrew. Sucker blow me again, Dan.

Let me ask you something. Jesse. Jesse? Yes. You know, you've seen me bring a couple of my dates to the comic store. How have you felt about them? You know, I actually at first was like, dang,

he's seeing a lot of different people. But then I thought, good for him. Yeah. Because you've been in a long term relationship for so long. And I think it's kind of cool that you're not afraid about your dating. Like you're not keeping it a big secret. Like you're, you know, and you talk about it.

So the girls that see you have to know that you're seeing other girls. And I think that's mature and cool. And I think you should be able to date and experience that. But the truth be told, if I may. You may. If I may express myself in the truth, the truth. In the truest form.

Exactly what I was going to say. Say it then. I'm just kind of groggy. I know, babe. Is the truth be told, is that I'm really looking for my one. The one. Yeah, I want to just see one person. Close your eyes.

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Many are available within 24 hours. That's ZocDoc.com, ZOC, DOC slash Bad Friends. ZocDoc.com slash Bad Friends. I think that if you were the leader You want to be able to eat a first laundry. Jesse, don't you think it'd be a great place? What? If Jesse was a leader of a country?

She wouldn't want to, see, she's- Why, why, why? I think I'd get taken advantage of. Hey. Hey, Your Excellency. Your Excellency, Master? Oh, call me Juice. Whoa, whoa.

Okay, sorry, Your Excellency, that's kind of not our thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what are the policies that you wanted to enact for Juice Island? I just want everyone to have a good time and- Good call. Yeah, no, we agree.

But taxes? Also, yeah, we're coming to you about finances, cause we're deeply in debt. Yeah, we need taxes. Yeah. Okay. How much should we charge people? I don't have enough money?

No, we're actually in debt of about $400 million. We're in debt, it's not your money, it's Juice Island's money. Right, okay. And so how much, can we, income tax? If we have to, but not a lot. How much? I don't want people to have to pay.

Maybe like a penny for every dollar? You want people to pay a penny for every dollar, one cent to their dollar? Yeah. Can I, Juice? Is that a lot? Let me ask you something. Who's head of finance?

Because Carlos Island is next tour. Yeah. And they're ready to attack. They have like fucking- They want to go to war. They want to go to war. Well, let me talk to him. Okay, well, good luck.

All right, Ring Ring, we got Carlos. Hello. Hey, I heard you want to go to war? Yeah, you're like, no one respects your island because you have 0.01 taxes. In America, it's 0.08. Hey, why don't we just smoke a lot, chill out? I don't think we need to be fighting.

I'm already smoking one, but you're more than welcome to come over. Okay, so we're good? No. And then- But you know, she did get close. She almost solved that war. I did feel like at some point, you were gonna flip.

Already in that conversation, you and I, look at each other and like- We gotta go to Carlos Island. There's a coup. No, there's a coup. Oh, there's a coup. Oh, we're taking it over. Please.

She's a fucking dumb. So we'd kill you immediately. Yeah, yeah, you're dead. I mean, you don't even have to kill me. You guys can just take over. No, we've gotta kill you. It's like a part of the thing. Yeah, and you know what?

I'll name it Santino Island. Just give me a province. Bobby province? Oh, I want my own province. Lee province. Yeah. And I want it gated. No one's allowed to go there.

Except for my people. Who's your people? People that I capture. Okay, so it's like the Vatican. You have your own rules and laws. And I can't enforce. It's like a Indian reservation where I have my own taxes.

Your own cops. My own cops, my own hospitals, everything. I have my own province. If you just give it to me. If I had my own province. Yeah. I would have one guy doing security and be Jamar neighbors.

And I just, I'd pay him whatever he wants. Dude, that's who I was gonna pay. And I'd have no rules. No rule. I'd be like, whatever you want to do, man, it's on you. Eric, Andre, and Jamar neighbors. That's awesome. My security, right?

And they're wearing ATC, they're driving ATCs. ATV. Mohawk. Right? Yeah. Completely naked. Right? Does anybody wear clothes at the Lee province?

No. There's no clothing store. So you'd have to leave Lee province. You can't leave. You cannot. It's like North Korea. Exactly. No.

Well. Let me ask you something in North Korea, right? It's fentanyl free? It's, well, yes, it can be. Right. How about wagyu sticks? That's not free. Right.

Everyone eats wagyu sticks. Where are you getting all this money from in Lee province? Taxes, man. Your taxes, man. We're a part of your thing. No, I know, but dude, you're because. Because, dude, you're going to call me and I'm going to go, hey, dude, give me this thing.

This is how corrupt government starts. This is literally it. A friend of a friend goes, come on, man. It's my constituency. Just give me a little bit more money than the other guys. And then they go, well, we did grow up together. And I'll give you Taipei. TP.

Taipei? No, TP. What's TP? I don't want to tell you what it is. But you know what it is. 12 of it. No, no, no, don't do that. I know, I know.

You know what it is. You know what it is. So I'll give you some TP. OK, I understand, bro. Wait, I still don't know what it is. You think, when you see, I don't even think. It's the same P that you talked about before. No, when you see, I understand.

That means that you said, that means you go, yeah. But that's what happened. You're getting me a stake. Yes, because I'm going to get you the stake. But see, this is the problem. So great. TP always works out. This is the problem.

This is the problem. I understand. This is how government goes to collapse. I know, but still. We'll run for 10 years. I'm second in command at Carlos Island. I'll take some TP. I'll give you a wagyu stakes, yeah.

Oh, yeah, if he doesn't give it to me. See, this is how Putin started. This is what happened. All the homies got some. And then Pudi was out. Pudi was doing his thing. He's dead, by the way. I think he's dead.

They're hologramming him all over the country and the world. Yeah, anyway, can you just give me a province? I'll give you probably a province. But we do have to think of what we're going to do with our captured prisoner there. Oh, she's not dead? No, I didn't want to kill her. I feel so bad.

All right. Well, we can, you know what, I know what we do. We, every 10 days out of the year, right? This is what we're talking, right? We do shame, shame day. Shame day. We gotta shame her. Oh, we do publicly.

Yeah, publicly. Okay, I like it. Throughout the whole island. For not taxing enough? That's right. Well, because you were weak. You just couldn't do it. You were weak, right?

So what we do is what? To shame her? Yeah. To burn chocolate. We have to dip her in chocolate. We have to dip you in chocolate. We have to dip her in chocolate. We have to dip her in chocolate.

And then we throw, we have to throw goose feathers on you. You have to get. Yeah, goose feathers on your body, right? Not tart and feather. You get chocolate and feathered. And she has to have being pain and somehow, but we gotta get some pain. Do you know they say the worst part

about getting tart and feather was the tar because it was burning your skin. No, not the feathers. Not the feathers. That's so funny. It wasn't the feathers. I always said there was the feather. I would assume it was the feather.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause the embarrassment would overthrow the pain. That's so funny. Wait, so when they did tar and feathers. It was hot tar, burning tar, it would rescind your skin. They never did cold tar? I don't think you can. Cold tar is hard tar.

Oh, that's right, right. You'd be throwing a hard rock at them. Right, how about lukewarm tar? There was a couple of places that did lukewarm tar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't catch on. Oh, it didn't catch on? That sucks.

Tarring and feathering to me, I'm not kidding. I think we should bring it back. It's so funny. But because the tar burns their skin, because I don't want to inflict like real pain, this is an embarrassment thing. Like if you have a petty crime, right? You steal something.

I think we just do super glue and feathers. And you have to be a chicken for a couple of days. Well, that's why I said chocolate. Yeah, but chocolate melts, it comes right off. Your skin, super glue's gonna, you have something that sticks to your skin and the thing that it sticks to will stick to you. That's gonna stay on forever, dude.

Super glue? No, it doesn't. With feathers? I mean, there's a spot like 10 years ago, later you're gonna be like, oh, fuck, there's a spot. Right? But I bet you don't steal again. That's exactly, thank you.

But it has to be embarrassing. That's all. It should be something stupid, you know, like you wear, like your, like the clothes that you wear when you do something petty, that you have nipple holes and a genital hole. So everyone has to see your nipples and your little penis all day long.

And you can't cover it up. You have to walk around like that with your little penis out and your nipples out and your butthole out. You have to walk around like that. Interesting. You steal something, you get a little bit of embarrassment. Yeah, I wouldn't be embarrassed though.

You have to, or you have to talk, you have to do the man China and you have to walk like that all day. Honestly, there is nothing when it comes to nudity that I'll be embarrassed about. Yeah, but many people do feel fear of nudity. I know, I don't know why that is. Because we've been taught that it's like bad to be naked.

So we think it's naughty and wrong. So people feel it. It's own up to what you have. I have that. What? Like I don't, I like make sure no doors are open or windows are open. Oh, so you have a fear of nudity?

Not like, I don't know if it's so far as a fear of, not like a never nude, but like I do. I do like, I don't want anyone to see me naked. Okay, so this is very interesting. Your partner, like when you're dating somebody, do you not want them to see you naked unless you are going to be hooking up? Like if you're just like getting it out of the shower,

they don't, you can't, you don't want them to see you. Correct. Right, okay. That's insane. Like I will be naked with my partner, but I don't like casually. Only when it's leading to something sexual. Yeah.

That's absolutely insane to me. No, it's not. That's her fucking, that's her feeling about her body. That's crazy. I wish I didn't have it. I agree with Bobby. Like I don't think that's how I feel. I've never even met anyone like that.

I don't think it's that crazy. It's not that bad. I couldn't date anyone like that. Well, a good thing you guys aren't going to date. It's insane to me. Okay, so look. Like even the girls, I've seen a couple of their girls now,

you know what I mean? They walk around naked. So do I, so do I. I know. Yeah, that's, I don't think I'm going to move in with Bobby. What's the problem? What's the problem? I mean, I see, we don't get naked in my house.

We sleep, I sleep in jeans. I've never taken these jeans off. No, honestly, how do you and your wife sleep? What do you mean? How do we sleep? Completely naked? Yeah, head to foot. You wear boxers?

We have a single. You wear boxers? No. Completely naked? I sleep naked, yeah. Did your wife? She probably wears a big shirt. Sometimes she wears like a big comfy shirt.

Yeah. Or like, if it's cold out. Yeah, she wears like a something cold. But yeah, I always sleep naked. I've always slept naked. I love sleeping naked. I refuse to have clothes on my body. That's insane.

That's great. I love it. I don't close mean nothing to me. I get scared sleeping naked. Like, I wake up like, what if I had to get out of the house really fast? You throw something on, you keep something near the bed to throw on.

Right. But what if you can't find it, or a fire burns them up? So then you fucking run out naked. Then you're outside naked. And then you're outside naked. Good, fine. I did this very joke on Conan.

Go watch my Conan set. I got locked out of a hotel room naked. Go on. Yes, go on. Well, no, because you know, I get room service, right? And after I'm done with it, right, I was eating naked. Put it outside.

And I put it outside, and I hear a clunk. And I turn around, I go, oh, fuck, man. This sucks, you know what I mean? So I cup, you know, because I don't wanna get in trouble. Do you use the lid to the room services? No, I walk down the hallway. That is so smart. I walk down the hallway

and luckily they had one of those phones by the elevators. So I call the phone and go, ah, ha, ha, ha. By the way, that is for naked guys that get locked out. That phone by the elevator, the only use of that is for like, hey, I'm naked, got locked out, can't come down. I'm on the 12th floor, thank you. That's why they made that phone.

Yeah, so I picked it up, I did a laugh first. You have a way to do a laugh. Let's see. You're not gonna believe this. Hi, front desk, how can I help you? Yeah. Oh, it's crazy, you're not gonna believe this. Sure, we have a lot of customers.

How can I help you? Yeah, I'm naked. I had room service, I put food outside, the door locked, and then I need a key. All right, come on down and get a new key. You can't bring it up? We can't, we were short staffed. So are you, so I hear, so come on down.

Okay, I will go down there. That's not what they did. What did they do? They brought a guy up and he, you know what I mean? And here's the guy. Oh, here you go. Yeah, thank you, what do we need? He wasn't shocked.

Can I come in? No, that'd be weird. Please? No, no, no. Please? No, please? You never done anything like that? No, I had a, this is the weirdest thing I had happened,

fucking when I was in New York, this last time I was in New York. Knock, knock, knock. No, thank you. Knock, knock, knock. Fuck, I step out of the bath. I'm naked getting in the shower. No, thank you.

No, thank you. So loud. So loud. Nothing. Shower, shower, shower. Everything is good. Dry off, throw the towel down. Brushing my teeth, naked.

In walks. Oh, oh, hi. I go, no, no, no, no. Out, out, out, out, please, no. But naked, toothbrush. No, no, no, no, no. She stands there. Okay, back, I come back.

Okay. Wow. Go, go, go, go, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then at some point, she stood a little bit too long and I was like. Sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks, no, no, no, no.

No, but she stood there for a weird amount of time. I was almost like, I thought she was gonna go, oh, sorry, she didn't. She was like, oh, come back? I was like. Yeah. Yeah, man, my cock's out. Please come back later.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy. But from what you're saying, I should be more comfortable with my cock out while I'm brushing my teeth and the cleaning lady walks in. Yeah, I have a problem with cleaning ladies. But you know what else I have a problem with? What? The people that call the 911, what do you call it?

Dispatch people? Dispatch people. I fucking hate them, man. The people that like help save people's lives? No, if you watch any like podcasts about murders and stuff and you hear dispatchers, it's like they're like the most insane people on earth. It's like, my husband was just stabbed to death.

He's still in the house, right? I'm in the closet, calm down. Yeah. Calm down, bitch. My husband's dead, like, you know what I mean? I can't hear you speak clearly. Yeah. You know what I mean?

But they're trained to try to calm you down. They're trying to reverse. No, no, no, no. You want them to freak out? No, I don't want them to freak out. It's like. All right, you call me and you're panicking so much that. No, no, no, no, no, how about this?

I'm not gonna. I wanna be real. Okay. All right, I'm the dispatcher guy. Okay. All right, call me. Yes. My wife is hit.

My wife just stabbed everyone in our neighborhood. She's coming to kill me. Please help. Help. I already got the cops coming. Boop. It's as simple as that. That's good.

The cops are coming. But you need to stay on the phone? No, no, no. What am I gonna do? You need to gather information? No, I want her to not, if you're hiding, you should be talking on the phone, bitch. All right, you call me then.

Here we go. I'll be the 9-11, 9-11. You be 9-11? That was my holiday. All right, right. Ring ring. Ring ring. It always takes a minute.

Oh, all right. Ring ring. Ring ring. 9-11 dispatcher, I can help you. Oh my God. Oh my God. My whole family's dead. Neural stab.

Who did it? I don't know who did it. Are you okay? Are you hurt? He's still in the house. My two kids are slaughtered. No, is he close to where your kids are? They're dead.

Oh, they're all dead? Well, that's okay. It's called the cops because I hear them near me. I hear them near me. Okay, well, then you should quiet down a little bit, huh? That's how they are. Yeah, they are like that. I don't like it.

Well, I think it's, she's busy, man. She's heard this all day. All day she gets these calls. She's sick of this. Well, get somebody else on there. All right, this is what you'd rather prefer, ready? Go ahead, call. Ring ring.

9-11 dispatch. Yeah. Somebody's in the house. Oh my God. How did they get in the fucking house? Holy shit. How did they get in the fucking house? What the fuck?

What did you do? What did you do? That's not what I want. That's not what I want. How do you want them to react? You want them to panic? That's not what I just said. What I just said is cops are on the way.

Yeah, they should have a mechanism, right? When you call for my landline, right? Yeah, wait. They should just pop up wet the fucking houses and then press a fucking red button where the cops and the ambulance go there. Okay, well, I think this is a good idea. Yeah.

I thought they do that. They don't do that. They stay on the phone to make sure you're caught. No, no, no. You should listen to some of the, I'll record them. You record them? No, I'll clip some stuff. I'll clip some stuff.

I've seen so many of them. That's how Bobby just start calling 9-11 to just get tapes out. No. I just hate it. That's all. 9-11 when you were a kid? Oh yeah.

Never. You did? Carlos, speak up. The cops showed up. Bad boy. I hate pranks. I got really nervous. We used to call restaurants all the time.

We used to call anybody. We called, fuck it, for no reason. It was so dumb. You know what we do? We call a restaurant. We make a fucking huge reservation for that night. We thought that was funny. Why is that funny?

Like 40 people are coming and they're like, whoa, okay, we'll put a bunch of tables together. So dumb. We were fucking kids. We were like 12. We thought that was insane. Like we were gonna fuck up their whole business. You know what?

You fucking pranksters, man. Little boy, bad boys. Yeah, I don't like it. We usually, we know what we would do. We would just call random numbers. Me and my friend Sean would just call. We'd pick a number. Pick your local area code.

Just hit a random number. Just start talking to somebody. What about those kids that threw the rocks? They would go to a bridge with these six kids. Hit a guy, killed a guy. Yeah, and they took the rock and threw it over the bridge, hit a car, killed the guy, and those six kids now. But not all of the kids picked up the rock.

What do you do in that situation? Well, if there was somebody there that wasn't a part of it. Yeah, they're like, like, we'll take turns. Me and Carlos will do the first one. Fine, nothing hits. And then now it's Jules and Andrews turn. You guys hit a car, kill somebody.

Do me and Carlos go to prison? Fuck yes. All of us go together. Yeah, we all go down together. We didn't do that. We aimed correctly. You were there, my dog. Yeah, we didn't even want to throw the rock.

You guys made us do it. Oh, that's your already, see, you're a fucking spineless turd. Some would argue we threw it correctly. You guys missed. We get a lesser sentence though, I think. You do. Yes, your fingerprints on it. Yeah, but we would, her and I would tell the judge

that you guys were with us doing it as well. A meeting. Why would you rat us out? You're here, baby, you're going down with us, you're going down with the ship, dog. Will we rat them out? No. No, we wouldn't rat you out.

What if you killed the guy? The fuck you would, and I see it in your eyes. No, we wouldn't rat you out. I know, you're the cops, go ahead, ask us. We killed the... What happened today? Carlos, we fucked up, man, we do this as a prank. We really didn't mean to hit anybody.

What about Jetski and Santino? What do they got to do with this? Who? The red-headed guy and the girl with the glasses. I didn't know them. They were standing right here with you, we booked them with you. And they were just walking by.

You guys were going to hike, right? They got nothing to do with it? No. Well, they told us, well, that's interesting. They told us that they showed up with you guys. Well, I mean, they're liars. Oh, now, dude. Welcome to police investigations.

Yeah. They fuck with people. They fuck with people. They do that all the time. Oh, they do. They told us that you guys showed up together. No, they're lying, I don't know what the problem is. I literally don't know them.

Hmm. Yeah. They also said that they were the ones that threw the rock, not you guys. No, we did. We did it. You threw the rock and killed that man. Yep.

They said they did it. Andrew and Jack. Crazy, I don't know. Hmm. Yeah. So you're taking the fall? Yeah. It's three life sentences for each of you

because there were three people in the car. Can we go now? Wait, wait, wait, wait, three life sentences? Oh, yeah. With no chance of parole. No chance of parole? Yeah, nothing. I won't die alone.

You'll die with me. It's not, we're going to share the fucking same cell. That's not how, they're going to send it to different prisons. No, sometimes you can go together, I think. We can't request it. You can request it. You can't go, hey, can we? Your Honor, can we get locked up at the same place?

Yeah. Yeah. You can request anything. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can request anything. That's something they're going to give it to you. Yeah, yeah, you can request a espresso machine too, but they're not going to give it to you.

All right, yeah. So who threw the rock? We all did it. We're all going to do it. You gotta see, I knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it. Yeah, you're right.

You know what I would have done? What? You asked me. So who wrote through the rock? George Kimmel. No. No, no, no, no. He's getting defensive.

He threw the rock. Already with the fucking voice. Right. No, no, no, no, no, no. Immediately, Cobb's like, yeah, he did it. Listen to him. Yeah. Crazy fuck.

Well, those kids deserve not life though. Yeah, sure. You took a life. Why not? You take a life, you get life. Yeah, but it's in the same feeling of pranks, right? That you did with the phones. Yeah, but the phones wasn't going to maybe kill someone

on accident. I think you know, you're old enough to know that when you hook a rock over a bridge, if you hit a car, something really bad's going to happen. Yeah, it's true. I did that in Houston. What? What?

Not off a bridge. I threw like a couple of bricks with my friend Gabe off a parking garage. Do you want this on film? Yeah, but I mean, no one died, so it's okay. Okay. All right. Yeah, it was like.

What was the pleasure of that? It wasn't a prank though. That's what I'm getting at. It's like, you think it's like a prank. This was more just like boredom in the city. You were bored so you tried to hit somebody with a brick? I was just trying to see what it was like. See, see, we, you know, maybe we'll kill somebody.

This is the mentality of a serial killer. I know. I was a kid. Yeah, that's when it starts. We never did that. Yeah. I was kids too. I never threw bricks at people. Never did that.

Start with bricks and then see people. It wasn't trying to be it. It's not New York City. I was just throwing it onto a street. It was like five or six. I thought you said you were aiming at somebody. No, no, no. I was just like tossing it to see what would happen.

Was there cars? There were cars. Yeah. No one got hurt though. I know, but my point is is that. He knows. In your mind though, did you think that maybe somebody could've.

Someone could've got hurt. And you wouldn't care. No, I would have cared. Then why would you do it? The assumption was that nobody would get hit. It's crazy behavior. And by the way, you are getting life now. Now I take it all back.

Bobby, you're free to go. Gatsky, you're free. Yeah, you're going alone. Yeah. What else did you do? If you did that, what else did you grow up in Texas? Cause he grew up wealthy. Let's get that straight.

And wealthy kids get bored and they do creepy shit. Right. They go to the forest. They go out to the forest. They collect animals, go to the shed. They touch them. I think. Weirdo stuff.

Yeah. They touch them, sexually touch them. Yeah, you do. I would run from the cops. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. What else did you do?

Weird. Weird? Yeah. I almost went to a glory hole in Houston once. I actually did it in LA, but in Houston, that was like scarier. Now, were you the glory or were you the hole? I was the glory.

So you, wait, you were going to get pumped? Yeah, I was the one. No, you were pumpy. You were a pumper. Yeah, I was. So there's a glory hole place in LA. You sign up. You go, hey, here for the glory hole.

And you walk in and you just. It was on Craigslist. Whoa. And it was like the middle of the night. This I like. This, go ahead. And I go to this apartment complex in Silver Lake. And they're like, go to the laundry room.

So I go to the laundry room and I close the door behind me. And there's like a sheet with a hole. Stop, stop, this is good. Let him go. What are you doing? This is so insane. Stop it. And next to it is like a Dell laptop.

Oh, it's always a Dell. And it's like playing porn. And it's like very generic porn. It's not like anything cool or anything like that. Got it. And I put my dick in. In the laptop. No, no, in the hole.

Right. Yeah, obviously. And I felt like a little stubble. And I went, I got to get out of here. Who, did you think it was? Slow down, slow down, slow down. Did you think it was Kate Moss behind there? Or some fucking dude.

Well, here's the thing. It was like, it was news. How many sucks? How many licks did it take to get to the center of your, of your sensitive side? 10. 10. Yeah.

10 sucks. I had to get in, like I had to like register the stubble. All right. Yeah. It was either a guy or an Armenian. You thought a girl was posting on Craigslist? I'm gonna, I want to suck. I was, I was like 23.

I didn't know that it was like a gay thing. I thought. Had you ever talked? Yeah, yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. Have you talked to any of your friends about it at the time? Not at the time, but I've told friends since for the last. So you put it through the hole, it felt good.

What made you, the stubble made you stop? Would you not have stopped if he was clean-shaven? I think I wouldn't have. Right. Exactly. Right. Yeah. What type of porn was playing?

What type of porn? Straight. Straight porn. Oh, okay. Yeah, because they, they, I think is the appeal is that it's a straight guy. Right. Right.

And you were the bad, you're a bad boy. I mean, it's not all on your definition. Do you want to change the story now? Or do you want to stick with your story? Do you want to tell us the truth that you finished or no? I didn't finish. I promise that. I've gone this far into the ice.

He didn't finish in the room. Right. You take that home? Did you drink off later? No, it's, I was so like confused. It was like- What was the confusion? The stubble.

I was like, I think I went into unparter territory. But I mean, it was, what's confusing? You guys sucked your cock. That's, that's what happened to you. Well, it was like the first time. So I was like- There's no way- Right.

That you- Didn't finish. That's what I said. Not only didn't finish. There's no way that you didn't know it was a dude behind there. I really didn't know. There's no way. That's, that's-

Ready? He walks in the room. Yeah. Hello? Oh. Do you like the, do you like the porn? You have a really deep voice. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I'm sick. Go ahead and put your cock through the hole. Yeah. I think they don't talk on purpose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's intense. The idea that like you couldn't just, I bet you by the way,

the sheet was just like hunk, like you could just see the guy when you walked in. Yeah. Don't walk behind the scenes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, oh, nighttime? Yeah. It was pitch black in there.

You're like walking around. Ooh, what's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except for the hue from the light of the porn. Yeah, from the bright. And so it was a sheet, right? With a whole, a black sheet now? Yeah.

Oh, now it's black. Did you see it was black before? He did not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was white before, yeah. George heard white. It was white before. It was white.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly. By the way, by the way, pull up a sheet. It was a hole for the mouth, and it was two eye holes. It was just a ghost. Yeah.

Ooh, oh, oh, oh. Ooh. That's insane. So 10, 10, 10, 10, and you were done. Yeah. Did you ever go back to another glory hole since? You said you went to another one, I thought. Yeah, I went to one in Santa Monica years later.

Okay, what is the? Lesson wasn't learned. Oh, no. What did you do in the second one? I don't know, the lesson was definitely not learned. I was like, maybe this time. What happened in Santa Monica? I went to this hotel off Pico in Lincoln.

Pico in Lincoln? Yeah, not a great area by that. I was gonna say, what's going on up there? Exactly, so I go into the hotel and I get directions. So when you go in, the situation is by the closet. Is this Craigslist as well? I think this was a legit escort. Oh, this was an escort.

This isn't like a person. No, no, no, this was like a low end escort website. It wasn't like. You know what it was called. What was it called? I think it was Backpage at the time. Yeah, he knows what the fuck it is. I like how he pretends like he didn't know what it was.

No, no, the Backpage is gone. I saw the handle here. Carlos, Carlos, look at me right now. All right, I wanna say one thing to you. I'm telling you the truth. I don't know, I don't know. I want to say one thing to you. All right.

This is why you're gonna die. No, no, no, no, don't do that. Whoa! He's adventurous. Yeah, I'm brave, I'm adventurous. Finish the story. So you go. Santa Monica what? Yeah. I go to the closet and I. You go back in the closet.

So literal. But also, imagine how, I mean, you're addicted to the thrill. I would be afraid of getting murdered. I think that's what it is. Yeah, you're addicted to the thrill of it. I get what you're doing. I get what it is. I mean, I think I would get murdered.

That sounds like I'm gonna get murdered. Yeah, this guy's nuts. Go ahead. I'm afraid someone's gonna just like. So, okay, so in the directions, it says, hey, come to this hotel. Yeah, I mean, this room, like the door will be unlocked already.

Okay. And walk up to the closet and there'll be another, there'll be a sheet. There's another sheet. Big sheet stuff. It's the same guy. Same guy. It's the same guy.

It's the same guy. Same guy. Hey, good to see you again. No, no, no, just a couple, hey. A couple of socks and he goes, Carlos? All right, so a little sheet, sheet in the closet. So I put my dick in. This time I finished.

And I was like, on the way home, I was like, that was probably a guy. It was, yeah. And then I was like, okay, got that over with, I guess. You knocked it out. Yeah. But no, no payment was needed. No, but I'm also like chill about gay shit.

Like I had a guy like come on to me in an Uber. He like, he like kissed me. And I like kiss back for like the fun of it. Wait, what do you mean in an Uber? You was in sharing an Uber pool? I was in an Uber with a coworker and I kissed back cause I didn't want him to feel like I was homophobic or something like that.

George, who did, what coworker? No, it wasn't a- Fancy? It was that Vanderpump dogs at the dog rescue. And there was like this guy. So you guys were taking an Uber. Were you drinking? Was he drinking?

He was drinking. And he just turned you and started kissing you. I was drinking too. You were? Yeah. And he just turned and kissed you. Yeah, like tongue, everything. It was crazy.

And like, I didn't want to be like, oh, gay. And like push mom, like you're a fag. Like I didn't want to do that. So I went into like acting mode. And you acted like you liked it. Yeah, I was like Kate Winslet or something or like MTV best kid. That's an interesting actress.

Yeah, Kate Winslet. Why Kate Winslet? Well, cause he heard from us so beautiful before. Well, I wanted to give a good performance. That's why I was thinking of a good actor. Right. Daniel D. Lewis? It just didn't come.

No, no, he's Kate Winslet. Okay. So you got into character, Kate. Yeah. And at any point did art imitate life? Did life imitate art? Did you start to go, maybe that was okay. I liked that.

No, I didn't get hard. And then I, I believe I, no, I texted my friend Elizabeth. And I was like, this guy at work just like made out with me in a car, but I kissed back. It's all weird and like. Weird as in, I'm curious. Not my feelings. It was just weird.

Like I was like me too, like a me too situation almost. You felt threatened. You felt like you were powerless. You felt this person took advantage of you. Yeah, definitely. But you just said you kissed back though too. Did you like it? You didn't like it.

I didn't like it. I didn't like it. It was a survival skill. Right. Like when I was in bed with the casting director on Molly, I was just like survival skill, trying to get out of it. Wait, wait, wait, stop. You were, I was at a party.

Oh, wait, wait. You were with a casting director? A big one. And you did it for what? So you can get an acting part? No, I was at a party that he was also at. Oh, it was a he? Yeah, it was a male casting director.

Can I ask you something, Carlos? Yeah. Are you gay? No. Carlos? I promise I'm not gay. It's fine. We don't, we support you.

Are you bisexual? Are you bisexual? I feel, I don't think I am, but I think if sexuality is on a spectrum, I'm probably like more... How did you end up in bed with the casting director? I took drugs and then... I've taken a lot of drugs.

I've never been in bed with a casting director. It was my first time taking ecstasy. Right, it is fun. Yeah. And like, I was in that moment with the ecstasy where it was like very overpowering and I couldn't leave the bed and this guy like got in bed and was like, come on, baby.

Like, please, please or whatever. And he's like kissing me and I felt very taken advantage of. Right. So what'd you do? I was just kind of like pushing him away. And then after that part, though. Yeah, we didn't hook up.

No, let's be real, dude. No, I promise we didn't. All right, nothing happened. You didn't go... Did you get this? No, nothing weird. But did you get hard? You got turned off.

I didn't get... He pushed him away, but the pushing felt so good. Get back over here. Come back, wait, come back. I feel like that's how I know, though. Right. You get hard with men. Right.

Thank you. Yeah, I guess that's one of the ways. That's insane. That's great. You know what? I've learned a lot about you. And now, after all this given knowledge. Yeah.

Will he die alone? Yes. All right. What do you think? No, I think he's gonna find, I think he's gonna fall in love. I think he might meet someone that's, you know, maybe someone trans.

Maybe you maybe fall in love with someone trans and you get best of both worlds. I'll tell you what. On like dating apps, I always accidentally swipe right on trans. Accidentally, eh? And then, but no, no. Wait, what do you mean accidentally?

Because I'm like, oh, hot girl. And I swipe right. And I'm like, wait a second. I saw T.R.A., let me go back and see if it really... You know, he tells himself, whoops, just so he goes, oh, whoops, he says it, knowing. Right. It was an accident.

That makes him feel better. I love you, dude. Oh, whoops. It's interesting. I'm glad you have clarity. Very interesting. Well, I wanna say this. I do hope we get one more Glory Hole story

by the end of this season of this year. So maybe enact it. Okay. I'd love to hear one more Glory Hole story out of you. I'm sure I can find one. Do you think you have a sexual addiction? Or just an addiction to the... Excitement, something about like...

Yeah, I mean, I feel the same way. I understand that excitement. It's almost as if like the excitement is, you know, building up to the mystery of what's gonna happen is better than the actual event. Oh, always. It's always, right? Always.

So I understand that, like when I'm on dates and stuff like that, it's like, what's gonna happen? I get that. But to me, it's like, there's a limit, right? If I feel like you're taking it to the next level. Yeah, I mean, it's not like, you know, yesterday I was doing this, but I've definitely had times in my 20s.

Because you've had struggles with drug addiction and alcoholism and different things. I think you and I have the same kind of like, you know, problems. Not problems, but yeah, problems, I would say, you know, and I just say, do you think that you need help in any kind of way, or are you fine? I don't think I need help.

Okay, yeah. Let's move on. Good. Okay, good. We love you a part of the show. Please stay part of the show because you're fucking crazy as fuck. I love you.

I love you too. I feel like I just admitted to like a drug addiction. You did. Oh. It's okay. We'll get you. You work hard enough. We'll get you kids.

I'm so glad that the episode turned this way. Yeah, it really got good. Juicy, sign us out. Thank you for being a bad friend.