Bad Friends - The Yellow Man with a Green Thumb

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Bad Friends, look at these shirts. We got- I love our favorite shirts. And it's got all of us on it. All the crew is on it. McConnie's on there. I'm on there. Bob, the Goop is on there too, I think. Who else is on it? Carlos and- Is my brother on it? Who's that Asian guy right there to the left? Where?

Starting point is 00:00:16 In the pink. Where? To the far right. This? Yeah. That's your mom. That's your mom. Oh, that's great, mom.

Starting point is 00:00:21 Bobby Mom. My mom's- And she's on the shirt. Go to BadFriendsMerch.com to get at BadFriendsMerch.com. Or on YouTube. It's down below. Oh, that's great mom. Bobby mom. My mom's on the shirt. Go to badfriendsmerch.com to get it. Badfriendsmerch.com or on YouTube. It's down below. Also, hey, we're coming down. Where are we going down? And down? And we're going to Sydney, Australia, Brisbane, Australia, Auckland, New Zealand, Melbourne, Australia, Adelaide, Australia and Perth, Australia. We're going down and we're going to be adding shows shows if we can, we want to do more shows. We want to come see you guys.

Starting point is 00:00:46 So go get those tickets now. Get it now. Badfriendspod.com. They'll sell out, they'll sell out. Well, they definitely will. So go get them. Badfriendspod.com, go get the tickets. You two are bad friends.

Starting point is 00:00:56 Who are these two idiots? Woo. A white dude and an Asian dude. Woo. You two are disgusting. Woo. You two are something. You two are something. We're bad friends.

Starting point is 00:01:06 I've got sleep. Apnea I got. Sleep. Four in the morning, wake up. Apnea I got. Four in the morning, wake up. Every four in the morning, I was up at six today for some reason.

Starting point is 00:01:17 My body, well, it woke me up to piss. Well, your body's athletic. It's like Caitlin Tom, what's her name? Jenner. No, no, the one, fast-ball. Clark. Clark. I'm attracted to her. I'm a little bit more of a Caitlin Jenner than a Caitlin Tom, what's her name? Jenner. No, no, the one that fast- Clark. Clark. Clark. I'm attracted to her.

Starting point is 00:01:27 I'm a little bit more of a Caitlin Jenner than a Caitlin Clark. I'm a Clark girl. I think she's so hot, you don't think she's hot? That's insane. No comment. I think she's hot, dude. Pleading the fifth, he's gotta plead the fifth.

Starting point is 00:01:38 I know, I don't think she's hot, she's not, no. Oh, I love it. No. Muscular titties. No, but she's a talented athlete. She probably has muscular titties, no? Big time. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:48 Is that her boyfriend or her husband? Oh, I could, yay. Clark, Kate and Clark, I'm better. Nice try. Not husband, no. Not husband, no. Look at him. He comes so quick.

Starting point is 00:02:00 Oh, he's the worst. Her biceps. You think he shoots as far as she does? Yeah, yeah. She shoots as deep as she does? Yeah, yeah. She shoots that, it just, he shoots as deep as she does? Yeah. I've shot from deeper.

Starting point is 00:02:09 That's what she would say. But dude, it's like three pointers. That's hard, huh? Mm-hmm. I've been watching, dude, I've never watched basketball, but her, I've been looking her up, like, reels and stuff. I go, oh, that's good. You know, I don't know what Stephen Curry

Starting point is 00:02:23 or any of those guys do, but like, I'm sure it's pretty good. Yeah? Stephen Curry, the greatest shooter of all time. Yeah. What are you talking about? I knew him, know him. I know him, I knew him. I know him.

Starting point is 00:02:33 I know him, but you don't know him because you don't even know his name. Yeah, I've worked with him before. He's a four time NBA champ, two time NBA most valuable player, MVP in NBA finals, MVP in NBA all-star game MVP, an NBA Clutch Player of the Year, and an inaugural NBA Western Conference Finals MVP. Best shooter we've ever seen.

Starting point is 00:02:49 Probably one of the best. Nope, the best. Did you see Civil War? I haven't seen it, you know why? Why? Because I know how it ended. How does it end? The wrong team won, man.

Starting point is 00:02:59 That's right, man. It's so funny, it's like- I saw it. Oh, I didn't ask you. Yeah, that's so funny, it's like. I saw it. Oh, I didn't ask you. Yeah, that's interesting that you say that. I didn't ask you. He didn't ask you at all. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:11 I just look at the box. Kid looks at the box. Yeah, I look at the box. Yeah, yeah. And first of all, you didn't even tell us or approve with us that you brought a new blood to the studio. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:21 Get on the mic here, kiddo. Look at that kid. What's your name? Hi, I'm Ryan. Hitler's dream. Hitler's dream. Hitler's dream, dude. Yeah, you have hair down there yet? I mean.

Starting point is 00:03:31 I mean. Do you have hair down there yet? I'm 21, I'd hope so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. When did you reach pubes? I mean, I think the same age as everyone else. I'm looking for a man in podcast.

Starting point is 00:03:43 Five, six, blonde hair, blue eyes, podcast. I'm looking for a man in podcast. Five, six, blonde hair, blue eyes, podcast. I'm looking for a man does podcast. You're like an internet dream. You're like this cute little young faced, a blonde haired kid who you fresh off the boat. You look like they open the box. You know, they crack the box at Port Authority and he's like, I'm Ryan.

Starting point is 00:04:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your name? Ryan Zyaks. Ryan Zyaks? Yes. Yeah, are you just petting him, Carlos? Yeah. That's insane.

Starting point is 00:04:11 What are you doing? He's not a Furby. I wanna put sesame oil on you. I don't know why. Eat sushi off of his body? Yeah, yeah, put sesame oil on his body, listen to the sun. What's your favorite thing to eat, Ryan?

Starting point is 00:04:22 Favorite thing to eat? Yeah. Probably. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Ryan? Favorite thing to eat? Yeah. Probably. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I love when white dudes show all their teeth when they talk. By the way, he's so nervous. This is so me.

Starting point is 00:04:31 Ryan, we love you. You're part of the family now. Yeah, relax. Everything's good. I love you guys too. What's your favorite food? Favorite food? Definitely pasta.

Starting point is 00:04:38 That's the go-to. 21 years old, you're a single guy? Yes. Good, good for you. You're out there, what do they say? Playing the field? Hey, how good is your Riz? How good is my Riz?

Starting point is 00:04:49 It's not up for me to say. Wow. Who's it up to? The scientists? Up to the universe. Oh, the universe, okay. You Christian, Christian kid, Christian conservative kid? Catholic.

Starting point is 00:05:01 Catholic, that's the same thing. Can I ask you another personal question or is it uncomfortable? Sure, ask me whatever you want Are you a virgin? No Good very good Hmm body count what's your body count? Okay. No too much. Yeah, you know what? Citizen he's never gonna say like I just never you got it

Starting point is 00:05:19 You'd have to I could guess you but you'd have to get there in a different may I guess? Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, I I'm not gonna say I'm see what I mean, he'll never say I know gentlemen. I know they don't right but I can tell by your eyes Three Dude, I was gonna say I knew you were I could feel you I like cuz yeah, cuz one is ridiculous First of all was an accident. Yep. Yeah, the first one was a full fluke. Yeah, right fluke. Yeah The second one was a willing participant. What?

Starting point is 00:05:45 Are you guys psychics? Yeah. We are. We are. We are. Actually, thank you. I'm a psychic. Thank you, Google it.

Starting point is 00:05:54 All right. Anyway, and the third one was a family member or? No, the third one was actually a professor in college. Oh. Fancy B. Fancy B. Fancy B. Wait, wait, you were his professor? No, not exactly.

Starting point is 00:06:09 Not exactly. No, but he was in, you know, he taught at the school that he went to. Did he really? Yeah. This is a kid from Quinnipiac. Quinnipiac. Who went over there?

Starting point is 00:06:17 Yeah, we went to that fucking dump. What a beautiful campus. Piece of shit. He's a shit campus. It was a nightmare, dude. I had to piss so bad. We took nine hours to get out there. I hated every second of it. And then they shot us in a prison holding cell.

Starting point is 00:06:28 No, it was more like a news, but like a Bosnian news center or whatever, right? Yeah, like hostages were gonna come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't good. Give us the money or we kill. I was like, we're shooting a podcast, sir. No, it's a great college and you did great

Starting point is 00:06:43 and good for you for going there. And I'm glad you're working in the biz now and you're part of our new family. Give it up for Ryan, guys. Thanks for coming. I'm a broadcaster. No, it's a great college and you did great and good for you for going there. And I'm glad you're working in the biz now and you're part of our new family. Give it up for Ryan, guys. Thanks for coming. I'm not done. I'm done with it. I have one more.

Starting point is 00:06:51 One more question? Yeah, let's get them again. Did you wrestle? Did I wrestle? No, I played football though. What position? I, hold on. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:59 You're like five seven. What are you five eight at the most? Five seven, yeah. Five seven, 165? More seven. Five seven one sixty five. More like one sixty eight. Are you fucking kidding me? I almost guessed it right in the nuts. I'm three off.

Starting point is 00:07:11 He said it like it's like one sixty. I was much heavier back in the day. OK, you were one seventy four back then. But in college, do they have like a special football team? Olympics? Like a football team that's not like that's not varsity or JV, but it's more special? Well, the thing called special teams, he could have been on that. So you're on a special team.

Starting point is 00:07:28 Like kick return. Oh, no, that's not what I mean either. I played in high school to clarify, not in college. Oh, well, that makes sense. Were you a back? I was actually a center in a- You were a fucking center? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:43 You were a center? Yeah, I was much, much heavier. You know how big you have to. You were a center? Yeah. I was much, much heavier. You know how big you have to be to be a center? There's some of the biggest guys in football. Bobby, that's the guy who snaps the football. That's like Jason Kelsey. Yeah, which is the opposite of you.

Starting point is 00:07:54 Way, way, way better than me. No, well, yeah, he's a Hall of Famer. This guy's going to... Yeah. Different, different story. I would have not guessed that. You seem low and low and you could have been low and strong and could have been a good back. That's me now. Low and No, I like you so much

Starting point is 00:08:09 And that means a court here that goes a long way with me, thank you Already already in that booth. You have more love for me. Hmm than all three of the men that's bad behind there Yeah, that's not insane. That's insane. That's crazy. You like flattery. No fuck you do Yeah, I'm tired. You know honestly I am tired of your shit as of late I'm tired of your attitude your little fucking digs your little snaps dude. I fucking tired of it Do I come to work right and I want to just hang out with my friend talk be funny But you come here with hostility. Yep, and you're like smashing me here and there dude, and I don't like it Yep, you're calling me fat. You may call me old. Oh, yeah, calling me like you can't fucking the sacks stupid

Starting point is 00:08:52 He's stupid to me right and it's like oh you ugly ugly. He says that a lot. Yeah Yeah, you call me a piece of shit a piece of dumb dumb shit Beetle dung shit beetle dung shit do you call me?'s not nice. I don't like it, it hurts my feelings. Stupid. Stupid. It's almost like you're bad friends. I see a smirk. It's a, stop, stop, stop.

Starting point is 00:09:17 Stop. So that, when he said that, no, just, stop. No one said anything. Andrew, when he said that, it made me rageful. Piss me right off. Yeah, it made me so rageful. Piss me right off.

Starting point is 00:09:30 Yeah, yeah. And it's a feeling of like, it's a feeling that I get as a TSA actually. Yeah, why is this taking so long? Or when they go, we need to check this one. No, you don't. Yeah, and there's nothing in there, I know. You know what I mean? Leave it alone.

Starting point is 00:09:41 And that frustration, it was like a similar feeling. I also wanted to stick my fingers in his Adam's apple. Yes. And dig it into his body. Yep, slowly. Slowly, yeah, yeah. So no more love for you. Okay.

Starting point is 00:09:53 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good job, Ryan, we love you. Big guy, we love you, Ryan. By the way, this is legit my question. I feel like you guys are like bad friends. Oh, fuck, that's gotta be in my dreams, then. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:03 Yeah. You're gonna wake up in the middle of the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck that guy! It's almost like you're like, bad friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, friends, stuck on a loop in our head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll never get out.

Starting point is 00:10:18 So what's that? Did we hire that guy? We hired, so we, do we? He's an intern. Are you blushing now, Ryan? Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, he's blushing now. You did great, buddy. You did great, bud. Is he, is he, he's an intern. Are you blushing now, Ryan? Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, he's blushing now.

Starting point is 00:10:25 You did great, buddy. You did great, buddy. Is he, he's an intern, huh? Just so it's only for the summer? Yeah. Yeah, because after the summer, you know what I mean? Hey, go. But what could he do to become like a regular,

Starting point is 00:10:37 like get a job at Seven Echies? Get somebody else's brain. Dude, you're being mean now. Like he's still there. Oh, he can hear us? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing, he's brain. Do you bring me in now? Like he's still there. Oh, he can hear us? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing, he's good. He's a genius.

Starting point is 00:10:49 He's a genius. No, he's a good dude. We're just joshing with him. We're just, yeah, rib, rub, rub. We're just ribbing him. We're just ribbing him. Yeah. He could be a long-term if he wants to stay.

Starting point is 00:10:57 We wanna stay in LA and become a full-time? That would be, that's the dream. All right, well then do it. Hire the kid. I don't know, who cares? Anyway, let's move on from him. Can I give him my cones, yeah? Not that he does much, anyway.

Starting point is 00:11:12 Yeah, it's in the blood. It's in your blood now. You're an asshole. It's something about, well, it's caked in. It's caked in. It's raising a baby now, and I know that it's gotten to him a little bit, because now he's gotta be like a dad all the time,

Starting point is 00:11:24 and he doesn't wanna be a dad. He wanted to be a rock and roll star. You know that it's gotten to him a little bit. Because now he's gotta be like a dad all the time, and he doesn't wanna be a dad. He wanted to be a rock and roll star, you know that, right? That was his real dream. And then he became a shitbag director. Yeah. You know, we're still, he's just, you know. Every day my agents talk me out of Spain. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:37 No, it's not even a joke. I'm not, it's not even a joke. Every day they call, and the higher ups call. Are you sure about Spain? Yeah, why would you? It's gonna just put a wrench in the whole fucking thing. I go, I love him. I'm gonna do him a favor.

Starting point is 00:11:53 I'm gonna play a zombie. They're like, I know, but it's like, we read it. Not true. What? They haven't read it. Even worse. Yeah. Okay, you're right. Let me say, we tried to read it. Even worse. That's right. Yeah. Let me, okay, you're right.

Starting point is 00:12:05 Let me say, we tried to read it. And we just couldn't get past the first page. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, they did try. And the first page is just the cover page. Yeah. The title. What's the name of the film again?

Starting point is 00:12:17 Jabberwocky. Yeah. Is it really called Jabberwocky? Yeah. Like the dance crew? You do know about the dance crew? I do not know about the dance crew. Yeah, well, I think you should reconsider

Starting point is 00:12:27 because there's an extremely famous dance crew called the Jabberwockies. And they're in Vegas and they're- They won America's Got Talent. Yeah, they did. They might be based on this- Are they in it? Poem.

Starting point is 00:12:38 But you do know culturally, people will think of this in America. Yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, yeah. They're like, oh, it's a documentary about our favorite dance crew. But they watch it, they're like, it's just a little shitty zombie movie. What is the meaning of Jabberwocky connect?

Starting point is 00:12:50 What is that? Jabberwocky is a poem in Alice in Wonderland, and it's about a nonsensical creature. By Lewis Carroll, Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll. Whoa, interesting. But I do think, unfortunately, pop culturally, people will think of the dance crew from Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:09 Twas brilliant and the slithy tubes, did Jaya and Gimbal in the wab, all mimzy with a bogey roll. This was based on, this is your movie? Is this the script for your movie? Yeah, it is. That's the opening monologue, right? Be the Jebawakamai.

Starting point is 00:13:26 So I'm a security guy. That's the only lines that you have. Yeah, so I'm a security guy, right? I'm sitting there and I see the fucking zombies. Go to the beginning. One take. I'm just like looking at my thing, right? Putting my, you know, I'm right and I look out

Starting point is 00:13:37 and I see that I go, ah, twice a billion. Do I have an accent? Sure. Oh, good, good, good, thank you. I need one for that. Spanish Yeah. Good, good, good. I need one for that. Spanish. Oh, that's brilliant.

Starting point is 00:13:48 No, that's good. That is good. Well, it's brilliant. And the slithy dwarves. Yeah. The geier and gimble in the way. Perfect. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:58 All of my me were the- Mimsy. Okay. All of Mimsy were the boronggulves. Borogulves. Borogulves. Borogulves. Borogulves. And the momra. And the momos. Memzy. Okay. All Memzy were the Borongos. Borogro.

Starting point is 00:14:06 Borogro. Borogos. Borogos. And the mom rats are grib. Perfect. Very good. Perfect. You get the next line. Beware the jabberwock, my son. Bejow's a bite to claws that catch. Beware the jab-jab-bird

Starting point is 00:14:20 and shun the Firmuia's bandersnatch. Okay, can you go back to the first? Bandersnatch is good. I think that's the right way to go. Yeah. Twice brittling and the slivvy toes did gyre and gimble on the way. Right?

Starting point is 00:14:35 Mm. Right? Or no? All mimsy were the borogos and the mome rats outgrape. Dude, that's the movie. You got your film. Take that.

Starting point is 00:14:46 That's it. Take that to Spain. You record that? I'm not going to Spain. Take that to Spain. We're still trying to work it out that I'm gonna, you know, I called him yesterday. I still might be able to go.

Starting point is 00:14:54 I promise you, I would bet a million dollars you're not gonna go. Why? There's no way you're going, dude. Don't try to trick my mind. Yeah, look at your face right now. I'm not gonna get tricked by your mind games right now, dude. It's diabolical.

Starting point is 00:15:08 Did I call you yesterday? And I said, we might be able to work with that. He's not gonna work it out. I promise you won't be there. I'll fucking put a million dollars on it. There's no way he's going. A million? I think we can work it out.

Starting point is 00:15:18 If you put a million dollars. $500, $500. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not doing it. Well, let's talk about movies. Because I'll tell you this. Let's talk about movies. Because I'll tell you this.

Starting point is 00:15:25 Let's talk about movies. All right, last week, I'm in Portland. I got a call about this. What? From Oliver Tree. Oh my God. Called me about you on set. Not happy.

Starting point is 00:15:36 And says he might get a lawyer. Apparently, he said you faked COVID, you made a whole deal, you ruined a day of shooting, and then you threatened Oliver, now he's gonna sue us. He's gonna sue you. What I did was, while he was in makeup, I went literally to the side,

Starting point is 00:15:54 I didn't know anybody in the crew, and I go, attention please, I swear to God I did it. I said, attention please, and everyone stopped, what are they doing? It's like 30 people, right? Wardrobe, everybody, I go, so Oliver has monkeypox, and he's patient zero, he's the monkey, right?

Starting point is 00:16:11 So nobody touch him. And I was being, I'm fucking dead serious, right? He's gonna sue you. And then later I found that he was all fucking mad about it. He said he's gonna sue you for defamation, he texted me the whole thing this week. It was a joke. Well, he's suing me.

Starting point is 00:16:23 Does he not look like a monkey? He said he's good. Can I say that? Does he look like a monkey? Raise your hand. Look at this. I'm the only one? Look at this.

Starting point is 00:16:31 Yeah, yeah. He says to me, in a long text. I'm gonna call him now. Guy faked a COVID scare, didn't have to play a role. Acted like a diva. He won't respond to my texts or my calls. I had to fly out my lawyer, Jeremiah Jeffrey, to clean the whole mess up.

Starting point is 00:16:46 He's gonna sue you for defamation. Yeah, I'm gonna call him right now. Well, do it because now he's gonna sue us. Did he really text you though? He did, I just read it off. Oh yeah, but you're a good improviser, so. That is true, no, but I did, there, look. Okay.

Starting point is 00:16:59 He has more lines. Look. Wow, that's long. Yeah, he told me everything. Yeah, yeah. He's not gonna answer now. I'm gonna ask him more lines. Look. Wow, that's long. He told me everything. Yeah, yeah. He's not gonna answer now. I'm gonna leave a message. I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach

Starting point is 00:17:15 has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. Oh, fuck you. Oh my God. That's actually smart to not set up a mailbox. I just got a text from your ex. Kalyla? About what? Nothing.

Starting point is 00:17:33 What's going on right here, Dan? No, I can't get dinner, I have to do. Okay, that's not what she's doing. Hold on. You'd be the last person she would ask. I can't stop by after dinner. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.

Starting point is 00:17:48 Red ginseng royal jelly. Well, what is it she says come to hotel? I mean, I can play the same game with your wife. All right, you can. Actually, no, you can. Yeah, go ahead, please. I'm not gonna. Swabidopolis.

Starting point is 00:17:59 I wanna tell you something. Okay, go ahead. I feel like, look. Look at me in the face real fast. I want to tell you something. Okay, go ahead. I feel like, look, look at me in the face real fast. You're my best boy. And I love you, and you know that. Oh, well, whatever. Well, I want to come clean to you about something.

Starting point is 00:18:17 Is it gonna make me mad? I feel like it's serious. Well, it's not serious, but I do want to tell you something. It's gonna make me mad. It's not, it's not serious, but I do want to tell you something. It's gonna make me mad. It's not, it's not even that big of a deal. Okay, go ahead. Ooh. Okay, uh-oh.

Starting point is 00:18:33 I'm starting a podcast with Kalyla. No, the woman that was here, the old lady that came in here. Yeah, McClellan's wife. Was not McClellan's grandmother. She's an internet personality named Angry Grandmother. And we put her up to the whole thing. She is not related. And the internet's gonna be surprised that you didn't know.

Starting point is 00:18:58 And I wanted to tell you, but she's got an internet following. Her name is The Real Angry Grandmother, and she's very funny. Look, look at her, wait, go to her main page. There, you see a picture of us on her main page. Yeah. Okay, okay.

Starting point is 00:19:13 Nothing gets by you, pal. I swear to God, on my mother's life, I didn't know. Well, here's how I know. By the way, for the audience, here's how I know Bobby didn't know. He called me, right, that night. I'm driving down to the comedy store. I'm over the hill. He literally calls and goes, Hey, why is she so mad at me?

Starting point is 00:19:32 And I was like, what are you talking about? And he goes, why is McCombs fam? Do you think he's talking shit behind our back to her about us? I said, no. Could I say something? It all lined up in my mind. To be real. That he could be that big of a bitch. That he would go to his grandmother and start complaining about me. Yes.

Starting point is 00:19:51 And all of a sudden there's like this family resentment. Yes. She had to fly all the way over here. So that's not your brother? No, that's her grandson. That's her grandson. I never met them before. No, we've never.

Starting point is 00:20:00 I thought it was just like the bit. Like when you had me sit down, I'm like, oh, he's continuing the bit. We thought you were playing with us. Dude. But then you texted me over the weekend and you never texted me It's not just it's not just that I had to see I had to see Beverly about it. You had to go to your therapist. Yes Wow, yeah, I literally had to go to my therapist for that reason and then I was just like I you know I said my behavior like I can't even see

Starting point is 00:20:23 And then I was just like, I, you know, I said my behavior, like I can't even see when I'm treating people so poorly. Right. And I'm not aware that people are, there are things going on. And I was like, what is it about me? And she's like, you have to be more mindful. No, it's fuck you. Fuck all of you. You guys are all involved in this.

Starting point is 00:20:37 Go fuck yourself. I have nothing to do with it. Yes you do dude. How? Because you knew. I didn't know. Yes you did. You did.

Starting point is 00:20:44 They hid it from me. Yeah, you didn't know I Didn't know who that was, but I thought she was his grandmother What do you mean? And then they told me and then I said when we should tell Bobby after the episode and Then I said we should tell Bobby and then the boys were like don't tell him Okay, I believe you no stop stop stop. Okay Okay, Carlos said it I I believe you I do but No, I knew I knew the whole time Did you find any subscriptions you forgot about Andrew or any you pay for twice and didn't realize it Let me tell you something. Oh, they got me good. How much you think you're paying subscriptions every month

Starting point is 00:21:25 Probably it's way more than you think. Over 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. I definitely did and it bummed me out, but thanks to Rocket Money, I'm no longer wasting money on the ones I forgot. Most Americans think they spend about $62 per month on subscriptions, but get this,

Starting point is 00:21:41 the real number is closer to $300. $300 bucks you're spending. That's literally thousands of dollars a year, guys, half of which we've probably forgotten about. Thankfully, Rocket Money can take care of all that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over five million users and have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions,

Starting point is 00:22:05 saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps features. Look, you've heard about it before. We've used it. It's actually great. It helps you save some money and you need to be saving money as well because the summer's coming.

Starting point is 00:22:17 You want to get out there at the beach with your friends. I love it. So that's one of the things you love. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. That's rocketmoney.com slash bad friends to rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. That's rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends.

Starting point is 00:22:28 Manscaped. Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to announce that Smooth Sack Summer is officially upon us. Get that Smooth Sack, baby. When you're playing in the summer sun, make sure you're groomed from pubes to bum. Thanks to our friends at Manscaped, you can make this season your smoothest yet.

Starting point is 00:22:43 I just actually, no joke, yesterday, shaved and cleaned up my sack. It looks so nice. You wanna feel it? No, I don't wanna feel it. I'll taste it. But my point is this. My sack, right?

Starting point is 00:22:54 From first glance, you'll go, oh, it's shaven, but it's not. There's rogue hairs around it. All the time. It looks like Chernobyl, like it's been working in the factory. Right, but now with the Performance Package 5.0 Ultra, it's the ultimate bundle to keep your boys downstairs cool

Starting point is 00:23:06 while looking hot. Join 10 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped with our exclusive offer. Get 20% off on free shipping when you go to manscaped.com. You just go to Bad Friends. Summertime and the trimming is easy. The Manscaped Performance Package 5.0 Ultra has everything you need to prepare that summer bod.

Starting point is 00:23:22 Look, we've been using this for a long time. I got one Manscaped for my balls and my pubes, and then I got other Manscaped stuff that summer bod. Look, we've been using this for a long time. I got one Manscaped for my balls and my pubes, and then I got other Manscaped stuff that I use. My nose hairs and my ears, they have everything. They also have Manscaped boxers and the Shed Travel Bag. So much stuff in the Performance Package 5.0. You gotta get it. How do they get it, Bobby?

Starting point is 00:23:38 Get 20% off free shipping with the code badfriends at manscaped.com. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code badfriends at manscaped.com. It's smooth off and free shipping with the code badfriends at manscape.com. It's smooth sex, summer boys. Get on board or get left behind, get 20% off. Plus free shipping with the code badfriends at manscape.com. B-Spoke Posts, this spring the best box you'll open

Starting point is 00:23:58 up all month is the B-Spoke Posts and their new seasonal lineup of must have Box of Awesome collections. That's right, I'm opening up my Box of Awesome right now. This thing is so wonderful, by the way, whether it's for you or for a gift, it's something great to give to someone else. It comes with so much unique, beautiful, small business run companies. And to get started, all you got to do is take the quiz at BoxOfAwesome.com. Your answers are going to help them pick the right Box of

Starting point is 00:24:24 Awesome for you. It's free to join, and they release new items every month across a ton of different categories. I've gotten camping gear. Oh, I think this might be a little travel bag for me because I'm a little traveler. Wow, look at that thing. I'm a little traveler boy. It's for your suit or something, huh?

Starting point is 00:24:37 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at me, now I can show up. Look at him go. Now I can go to Australia and style my suit, mate. Yeah, mate. Plus, with each Box Of Awesome, you're supporting small businesses. 90% of everything that comes in your Box of Awesome is from a small up and coming brand.

Starting point is 00:24:52 It's free to sign up and you can skip a month or cancel at any time. It actually is so amazing. They've been so good to us. They send so much cool stuff over and it's great, like I said, for yourself or get it for someone else for a gift. If you don't know what to get somebody, be like, oh, this is pretty great. It's curated. Get a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment

Starting point is 00:25:08 when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and enter the code badfriends at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com code badfriends for a free mystery gift with your first monthly shipment. Boxofawesome.com code badfriends. Okay, now I can go mad again. Yeah, fuck us, fuck us, go ahead. I'm not gonna fuck you.

Starting point is 00:25:23 What I'm saying is that, wow. And I think the per, let me- She did a great job. She did great. Let me see what my feeling is. Yeah, close your eyes. Who am I mad at the most? You know.

Starting point is 00:25:33 It was Ander's idea. It was Ander's idea. No, how was it my idea? Bring his lady. Who sent it to me? It was my idea. Yes, I didn't find her. It's so funny,

Starting point is 00:25:41 cause my anger still goes to McCone. It should. Because you should have said over the weekend that, hey dude, there was an internet lady and whatever. Didn't I ask you that too? I said that. You said, is that really his grandmother? And I said, I think so.

Starting point is 00:26:00 And you went, why would she be so mad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why would she be so mad? And then I kind of replayed it in my mind, because you said somewhere in Minnesota, she said, right. She was very good at playing along. Right, so I was like, was there an incident where his family was there and I was like not available?

Starting point is 00:26:17 I feel like, because I feel like I'm really good with families and I go, hey, how are you? And I hug and all that stuff, right? Better than Andrew. Yeah, I know. What did you just say? Thank you so much, Yeah, I know. What did you just say? Thank you so much. What did you just say?

Starting point is 00:26:27 Bobby's a great, he loves to ham it up. Yeah, ham it up with families. You know, more genuine real. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. McCone, McCone. Get up to the mic. Don't screw it up.

Starting point is 00:26:37 No, McCone, McCone. What are you? You were doing fine. No, what, what, what? You were being honest and I appreciate it, but now with this thing you're doing now not It's desperate go ahead I was like I was like Andrew will say hi to my parents Andrew will say hi to a group of people

Starting point is 00:26:54 But Bobby will go up to everyone individually and start you know you you're grabbing them and physically assaulting Hello, and I move on I don't I don't do that Touching on him. Is he physically assaulting them? No, not, no. I say hello and I move on. First of all. I'm just saying, Bobby has more- I don't grab, I don't do that. What the fuck are you? Let's not talk about the grabbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:09 Dude, what he means to say- Is that you physically assault his family. That's not what I'm saying. What he means to say is I shake hands, I do hugs, right? And I'm really mindful, I'm really there, present. I mean, you guys both have different ways of showing love, you know? Mine's more genuine, his is more artificial, and like, stand- No, it's not artificial. We have different ways of showing love. Mine's more genuine, his is more artificial.

Starting point is 00:27:26 No, it's not artificial. We have different ways of approaching things. Yours is more loud and in your face. Yeah, annoying. Mine is more real and normal. More distant and more unavailable. He's a listener and you're a grabber. He's not a listener.

Starting point is 00:27:37 I would draw the line there. He's not a listener, dude. He's a listener and you're a love. No, he only listens to himself. He can say whatever he wants. I mean, we know how wrong he is. It's insane. Everybody in here knows.

Starting point is 00:27:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Let him create his false reality. So what I wanna say is that that still doesn't give, that doesn't resolve our situation. You know, I called you over the weekend. You texted me. I texted you, what'd I say?

Starting point is 00:28:01 You said, what's up with the all eyes on Rafa? Is this a movie? I said, no, this is a Palestine thing. Oh, that's right, that's right. And then a couple of jokes. That was my way in to like kind of like, just a small talk. You wanted to see.

Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't care about, I knew what Rafa, yeah, yeah, what? You do not like small talk. Yeah, but I was trying to get in like, hey, and then my next thing was gonna be, you was gonna be, hey, is there any way I can make it up or whatever? But then I was just like, nah.

Starting point is 00:28:26 No. Because I thought that your grandma was acting way too fucking, you know what I mean? Intense for whatever the situation. Little over the top. Yeah. So wow, okay, so that's good. And that's not your brother and okay.

Starting point is 00:28:37 So we're playing tricks. I feel like the guy looks nothing like me. He was, he's like huge. No, he's just a white guy. Yeah, yeah, there's tricks and I guess I'm gonna have to get everyone back. I guess I'm gonna have to do that.

Starting point is 00:28:50 Whatever you feel like you need to do. I need to do it. I mean, it's a pretty harmless thing, but yeah. It wasn't a harmful, no. Dude, when I fucking do a special session with my fucking therapist, right? And I'm fucking brooding about it and thinking about it all fucking weekend.

Starting point is 00:29:08 What are you doing with your face, dude? I'm just mocking your bullshit. You didn't do a special session with your therapist. I did. You had to do a regular session and you brought that up. Yeah. Okay. But it was special.

Starting point is 00:29:21 They're all special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well then there we go, still special nonetheless. Therapy is special. It's special nonetheless. Okay, yeah. Oh, well, then there we go. Still special nonetheless. There'll be a special. It's special nonetheless. Okay. So, all right. So you got that.

Starting point is 00:29:29 Anything else? Let's just get out of the way today, guys. Let's get everything, put everything on the table and go, this is what we did and this and that. Anything else? Go ahead. I took these dick pills and it lasted too long, like four days, and I didn't think they would be that potent. Four full days? Yeah like four days. And I didn't think they would be that potent.

Starting point is 00:29:45 Four full days. Yeah, four days. Hmm. And so I thought- Could have had a stroke by the way. No, I didn't know. No one told me. I'm telling you now.

Starting point is 00:29:53 Don't ever do that again. Thank you, Andrew. You have to read the prescription. Yeah, you gotta read it. Well, you don't need a prescription for these. You buy them at a gas station on Vermont. Oh, you did like the little- Extends or whatever?

Starting point is 00:30:01 No, the Mexican ones, the- It's called like a- Rhino or something? Yeah, Rhino, Rhino. Oh, the Rhino Cockle. There's a, the Mexican ones, the. It's called like a. The Rhino or something? Yeah, Rhino, Rhino. Oh, the Rhino Cockle. There's a new one that says no headache, so I got that one. Did you get a headache?

Starting point is 00:30:10 No. Okay, well then. Well, it's on the packet. Yeah, okay, I know. Yeah, but the Hot Rod 5000s give you headaches, so the Rhino didn't, so I was really happy. What's in there? Is it the same ingredients as?

Starting point is 00:30:20 Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what's in it. I just take it and I know I get an erection. I learned this early on. Can you not get an erection without it? No, I can, but I use it as insurance so I can have like an extra fun time. But if you're attracted to the person,

Starting point is 00:30:36 do you then you have trouble sometimes? Sometimes I will, so I'll get in my head and I'll start thinking, oh, like, I wanna watch something later. I'll like think about a million things. Watch what later, like a film or something pornographic? No, like YouTube or something. Like I'll think about later in my night

Starting point is 00:30:49 and like it'll affect me. So you're sitting with the person that you're interested in and you're thinking about YouTube? I'll think about y'all. What? Don't. Don't. I don't think about you when I'm trying to get hurt.

Starting point is 00:31:00 Please don't. I love y'all. I love you too, but that's nonetheless, I don't think about you at all. But when I get in bed, I think about everything in my I love y'all. I love you too, but that's nonetheless, I don't think about you at all. But when I get in bed, I think about everything in my life and y'all are such a big part of it. And when I think of y'all, my boner goes down.

Starting point is 00:31:11 Okay, when do you think about, who's the last person you hooked up with that you had no thoughts like that, that it was just free and- High school. I hooked up with- It was that long ago? No, I probably like years.

Starting point is 00:31:27 You haven't hooked up with someone in years that you felt comfortable just getting a hard on and not thinking about life? Yeah, it's been years. I have like, I take medicine for it. It's in a couple of movies. That's incredible. What do you mean it's in a couple of movies?

Starting point is 00:31:40 I saw, I related to one of these characters. I saw a movie called Red Rocket with Simon Rex and he had to take dick pills all the time Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love him. Yeah. I know I was like, oh, that's me. I would do the premiere of that movie Oh, I'm jealous so yeah What happened oh Just I was hooking up with this girl and like the insurance stopped working and I got really upset in the middle of it Yes, it has nothing to do with me and the deception and like the insurance stopped working and I got really upset. In the middle of it. Yes.

Starting point is 00:32:05 It has nothing to do with me and the deception. I was saying, what, like, I don't care about your personal life. I could have done that too, dude. Oh, I was just talking about my mind. What I'm saying is, is there anything that you wanna put on the table where you lied to me or deceived me in any kind of way?

Starting point is 00:32:19 I thought we were just talking about life. Oh, no, well then I can do that same thing, yeah. No, but I do like life stories, it is really. Yeah, I thought we were in a special session. But in that, they're not in this segment. There's Yeah, yeah, but I do like life stories is really They're not in this segment There's segments dude in the show. Yeah, I just I was getting honest with my buddy Thank you for that. Yeah, I mean it's just like I can't yeah, I don't know about these people I think we should start anew. I'm so down. Yeah, you clip fire everybody Maybe the little kid from Connecticut can stay.

Starting point is 00:32:45 Who, Ryan? Yeah. I don't know though. He said some things that were like suspect. Well, he walked in and he called everyone the N word, which I thought was insane. It was weird, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why he approached.

Starting point is 00:32:54 Sup! And I was like, what? Ryan, slow down. Yeah, slow down. You're an intern. Yeah, but anyway. Well, look. Let me think about it.

Starting point is 00:33:02 If you want a clear house, we'll get these guys out of here. I really do. Bobby, no. Stop for a second. What I want to say to you is... Excuse me. Oh, is I laughing too much? Like a hyena.

Starting point is 00:33:19 Okay, I'm sorry. I don't like hyena laughs. Excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Guys, please. I don't like how you know laughs, you know that. I'll laugh at both of you. Excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I mean, I don't, excuse me. It's guys. It's guys, dude. Please, this is not a comedy show.

Starting point is 00:33:30 Yeah, I'm just trying to be, hello? Hello. Hello. Are you here? I'm here. Are you listening? Yes. So what I wanted to say is that,

Starting point is 00:33:40 and I'm gonna be truthful and really dig into my feelings here. OK, it's just been an adventure doing this podcast with you guys. It really has. I mean, the kind of experiences we've had, I will never forget them. I don't know why you're laughing. Yeah. What are you smiling about? Yeah, you piece of shit.

Starting point is 00:33:58 What are you laughing? I'm being fucking. No, either one of you. You fuck me. Yeah, yes. Both of you. Stop. Like, would you get genuine? Like, you know, I get you fuck me. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yes, both of you. Stop. Would you get genuine? Like, you know, I get it. Genuine. I get out and shit. And am I?

Starting point is 00:34:11 No, it's not. Am I reading this wrong? No, they're doing it. They're doing it, right? They're egging you on. They're egging me out right now. And I don't like it. You know what, dude, I don't even have to say it to them

Starting point is 00:34:17 because this is how I feel, so I could just say it to- Say it. I don't want to say it to you either, for some reason. Well, say it to camera then. I'll just say it to the wall. To the audience. Well, no, just speak to the camera, not to the wall. Okay, I'll say it to you either out at for some reason. We'll say it to camera then I'll just say it to that wall to the audience. Well, no the other camera. That's a wall. Oh, yeah Please well, I don't want to coach. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, I'm sorry, please you do as you may All right. So what I want to say is the last you know since the beginning of bad friends. It's just been an adventure

Starting point is 00:34:37 I've you know when I was a young guy. I was like it was never part of my Dream to do this, but it was like, was I mistaken because, wow, this has been a fucking wild ride. It's been one of the greatest things I've ever experienced. And the people were, it's almost as if they were all meant to be there. We all fit like a fucking puzzle did. And when you put the puzzles together, it's a beautiful painting. And sometimes a rogue piece gets in there.

Starting point is 00:35:03 Exactly. And you're like, what puzzle is this from? What puzzle piece is this? Yeah, what does this go to? Yeah, and then that rogue piece, McCone, right? But Andrew hammered it in. Yeah, yeah. As hard as I could.

Starting point is 00:35:13 I said, this has got to fit. So it's basically a gigantic puzzle of a gigantic butterfly. But the rogue piece, you can tell, is the edge of a swastika. That's right. All right so I'm like trying to jam in this little tiny swastika piece inside this butterfly yeah and then the whole thing becomes very Nazi Nazi-esque. It's Nazi propaganda. Right so what I have to do is I have to fucking un-puzzle it right to its pieces throw it in the garbage and go buy a new puzzle. And buy a Mein Kampf book. Yeah, you have to start all over.

Starting point is 00:35:47 Whatever it might be. Sure. I don't know Mein Kampf. Oh my God. Great book. Yeah, yeah. Can't put it down. But I'll tell you what, you're right.

Starting point is 00:35:56 I think you need to throw away this old puzzle. It's not working anymore. Yeah, yeah, the puzzle's not working. So thank you for being my old puzzle pieces, but it's not fitting the other anymore for me, the way that, oh yeah? What you doing, dude? I'm just bummed.

Starting point is 00:36:08 Well, lies in the seat are going to get you there, buddy. Yeah. You too, dude. Yeah, thank you. Are you throwing me off the show? No, I said you too. I love you. Oh, I love you too.

Starting point is 00:36:17 That's what I was saying. I love you too. Like you too, dude. You too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not with them, but you two in terms of love. I love you. I love you too.

Starting point is 00:36:27 Hey, who's the highest... Who do you think is the highest grossing touring musical artist of last year? Taylor Swift. Correct. Who's number two? Whoa. That's a good one. I know you got it.

Starting point is 00:36:39 You think I think? I know you got it. Oh, really? Yeah, I know you. You think I got it? I know you do. Yeah, yeah. These guys don't fucking have it. I know you got it. I know you got it. Oh really? Yeah, I know you. You think I got it? I know you do.

Starting point is 00:36:47 These guys don't fucking have it. Did Harry Styles go last year? He's in there. Not two though. But he's number five. Number five, wow. Okay, did Beyonce do anything? Number two.

Starting point is 00:36:55 Did I get it? You got it. Fuck yeah, I did. Who's number three? I don't know if I, no. You're this good. You've gotten fucking three of the five. You think you can't knock out two more?

Starting point is 00:37:04 So who else went out there last year? I'm going to tell you this. Yeah. Is it group? This number three. Room five. Is a group. No, but that's a very good guess. This is a group and it's a group where you go, I mean, yeah, they were very, very popular 10 years ago, but I cannot believe they're still making that much money. Lincoln Park. Bigger, much bigger. Much bigger than Lincoln Park.

Starting point is 00:37:30 Much bigger. Yeah, chain smokers. No. Okay. Now you're going, I'm going the opposite direction. You're freezing cold, you're in the middle of the cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. Da, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. And okay, but- Na na na, I like it. What do you mean? Coldplay-

Starting point is 00:38:05 Clockwork, is that what the song- 10 years ago, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then the next one is, I got this one, right? We were doing- I know one. What is it? Imagine Dragons?

Starting point is 00:38:13 No, it's a solo art. Well, it's a man's name that is the band. It's a man's name that is- It's his name, but it's a band, but it's him. Do you know what I mean? Like he's not a solo artist, cause that's not a real- Wait, wait, is his name in the band's name?

Starting point is 00:38:27 Yeah, it's his name. Okay, well, okay. They go by him. They go by him, John Mayer. No, but he's with, because he's with- They rifle that, they rifle that. Yeah, he's with- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have no idea.

Starting point is 00:38:37 Do you guys know? Give it a guess. And I got this, I was shocked, because I thought, what's an old-timer guy that's touring- By the way- Bruce. Springsteen. Wow, very good, Fance B. Bruce? Bruce Springsteen. Really? Yeah. I mean, you's an old-timer guy that's touring in- By the way- Bruce. Springsteen. Wow, very good, Fance B.

Starting point is 00:38:46 Bruce? Bruce Springsteen. Really? Yeah, I mean, you could look it up, the number was like 300 something million. He kills it, he kills it. It's awesome. You know how much Taylor Swift made?

Starting point is 00:38:54 Over a billion dollars. I know. A billion fucking dollars. In one year. Yeah. It's crazy. It was the top touring, touring. What would I do with that money?

Starting point is 00:39:04 A billion dollars? Oh, I'd with that money? A billion dollars. Oh, I'd never see you guys again. Yeah. Honestly. I would hope not. No, if you got a billion dollars, would you call me and go, I think I'm done? No, no.

Starting point is 00:39:15 You know what I would do? What, give me half a billion? Half a billion? Yeah, yeah. No. Would you give me any of that money? No. A billion dollars? You give me Lissam.

Starting point is 00:39:26 I don't think so. I think I would give you, well, I would say- Outrageous, outrageous, outrageous. I would say, what do you need? $10 million. For what? Just to give it to me so I don't feel jealous. Okay, but I want to, but I, okay, but how about this?

Starting point is 00:39:39 Then you have to turn in receipts of what you buy with it. I want to know every dime you spend. That's fine, I will do that. Really? Every dime. I want to know every dime you spend. That's fine, I will do that. Really? Every dime. I want to see every dime. Yeah, Clash of Clans, 40,000. That kind of thing.

Starting point is 00:39:52 Yeah, you will. You spend that much on a video game? No, do you remember when Clinton called me and goes, no more Clash of Clans, delete it right now. Because I spent $10,000 in one month or whatever. On Clash of Clans. Anyway. Jesus Christ, no, I would give you as much as you wanted.

Starting point is 00:40:04 No, no, no, just 10 million. I don't think you would. Yes, I would. Because when people get money, they hoard it. What do you mean? I'm generous. I would absolutely give you money. I wouldn't even think twice about it.

Starting point is 00:40:12 I give fucking, I would give in this room- Yeah, tell what everyone would get. If I won a billion dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I won the lottery, I would give, well, first of all, I do my family first. What's- Would I be, and some, no? No, I mean my mother and my father. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I won the lottery, I would give, well, first of all, I'd do my family first. Would I be, no? No, I mean my mother and my father.

Starting point is 00:40:27 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would take care of them. Of course, of course, of course. My little sister. Of course, your little sister. And then when I got to the bad friends family, I would give McCone 10K. Pretty generous.

Starting point is 00:40:40 That's really nice. Pretty generous. Yeah. I'd break fancy off with a mill. I'd give him a milli. Nice. Well, he's a dad. Yeah really nice. Pretty generous. Yeah. I'd break fancy off with a mill. I'd give him a milly. Nice. Well, he's a dad. Yeah, nice.

Starting point is 00:40:48 And I'd give Carlos probably one of those, did they sell gift cards for rehab? Do they have gift cards? They don't have that. They don't? They should. No. Maybe get him insurance. I'd give him health insurance.

Starting point is 00:41:00 Health insurance. I'd pay for his health insurance. You can go to rehab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would give him health insurance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Ryan, the new guy, I'd give him, I don't know, a couple hundred grand. Just toss it to him. Just to see what, you know, fuck up his life. You know what, it's so fun.

Starting point is 00:41:09 Just to see what would happen. Yeah, just to see what happens with Ryan. Yeah, like I have been gardening. What? Yeah, I've been gardening. What are you gardening, babe? I'm like, right now I'm... Does my little yellow man have a green thumb?

Starting point is 00:41:21 Don't call me that. What's yellow, what is yellow? Don't call me a green. If you mix yellow and green, what color is it? No, I just, the green thumb. What color is yellow and green? Not the yellow part. What?

Starting point is 00:41:30 I have a problem with the green thumb, not the yellow part. Why, you have a green thumb. Okay, anyway, I've been growing catnip. You've been growing catnip? Yeah. In your yard? No, outside of my, yeah, my front yard.

Starting point is 00:41:43 How do you grow catnip? Is it a, is it a hard thing to grow? Available to buy and plant at anytime, sunny and well-drained large pot. Yeah, so I've been getting, I got the pot, I got the soil. It's weed for cats, right? Yeah, yeah, they love it, right? Wow.

Starting point is 00:41:55 So I've been growing it, right? Right now there's only nine little pieces that stuck out. Okay. You know what I mean? So there's only nine little grass hairs that are sticking out. But I just planted it a week ago. Yeah, anyway. So you grow the catnip. out, but I just planted it a week ago. Yeah, anyway. So you grow the catnip.

Starting point is 00:42:06 Yeah, but I experimented and I put Diet Coke in like a little piece of, see if that would work, it doesn't work. No, it doesn't, yeah, typically not. That's my point though, I don't know why you even brought that up. What was that, was it, no, I just, I experiment. You're experimenting.

Starting point is 00:42:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're trying. I try, it doesn't work. I like doing this now. It's water. It's water. And I'll tell you why, I'm gonna now go to carrots and other things. Carrots is probably pretty easy to do. I think you could do carrots.

Starting point is 00:42:30 Yeah, yeah. And the reason why is because of this movie. I said, it's fine. What movie? It's fuck, I don't know. It just fucking, oh, I know what it is. Perfect days. Perfect days.

Starting point is 00:42:43 Vim Vinders. So this got you into gardening. You've now got a green thumb. Oh, this looks, this is supposed to be really good. This is about a little Asian guy who gardens? No, he's janitor. You saw it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:57 Yeah. It's a beautiful film, huh? That's just a beautiful film. It's a film of, just give That's just a beautiful film. It's a film of... Just give me a second. Yeah, we are. Okay. I wanna say...

Starting point is 00:43:15 When I was a young man, I had nothing. Really, I... Hi. Hi. Hello. I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You actually had a pretty substantial amount.

Starting point is 00:43:25 Who? You, you grew up in a fucking country club. No, no, no, no. What I'm saying in my early twenties. Okay. Please, I mean, I'm just trying to be, what you're doing right- Be specific.

Starting point is 00:43:35 In high school, you definitely had something- What you're doing right now is not good. You're a rich drug addict. Haena? Haena again? That's enough, Carlos. Enough of that. It's not funny.

Starting point is 00:43:46 Okay. All right, go ahead. So anyway, in order for me to be happy is I had to look at the little things in life, right? And be mindful about the things around me and find joy in those things. Right. Like for instance, I've said this before,

Starting point is 00:44:00 I would work at this restaurant and it would be like, you know, a breakfast place, I'd be slammed. It was in the cove, I would sit on the edge of the cove and watch the seals and the oceans and that would give me joy. Just the simplicity of watching nature and the wind and all that stuff.

Starting point is 00:44:18 And I had no money, no pussy, nothing, okay? And then since I started doing standup, you get away from that, right? And you want, you know what I mean, dopamine hits and you want to get to the next level all these things that fix you, that thinks you're going to fit, right? But then this, I saw this movie, I was like, it brought me back to those days. So this guy's a gardener, right? And he-

Starting point is 00:44:40 Janitor. No, not janitor, I meant he's a janitor, right? And it's every day he just shows up, goes, cleans toilets, but he looks at little things in life, like the wind blowing through the trees, right? Or like, you know what I mean? People just, homeless people, and he finds little things and he finds joy in those things. And it's like, when I saw that, I was like, oh shit, I think that's what's missing in my life.

Starting point is 00:45:04 That's all. If he was an Asian, would you have liked this as much? No, I have not. Yeah, that's just gonna say, that's all of it. Yeah. Yeah, that's most of it. If this was just like Janitor in America. Spit right on it, right? Two thumbs down, dude, two thumbs down. Yeah, yeah, I'd pick it fucking the theater.

Starting point is 00:45:17 Fuck that movie. If this movie was called Tough Times and it was just about a Janitor in- Fuck you, Janitor. You know what I mean? Is that him watching at the sink? No, he's at a spa. That's a spa?

Starting point is 00:45:29 That's how, you remember, yeah, that's, that's it, that's, what I'm, what, stop, stop, stop. Look at me right now, dude. Damn. Look at me right now, dude. You're not looking at me, dude. I've been to a spa, it doesn't look like that. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop. I've asked you for like five years.

Starting point is 00:45:45 To sit on a bucket and wash my balls. Shut the fuck up. That guy's washing his balls on a bucket. I know. I've asked- The only reason this works with you guys is because your penises don't touch that bucket. Your balls don't touch that bucket.

Starting point is 00:45:56 You're sitting on a bucket. He's sitting wide butthole on that bucket. Look at those little- That was me last night. Look at those little cock washers. And so what, you pull up to it and you wash your penis there? Is that what those things are?

Starting point is 00:46:05 It's not just a penis. Can I just finish what I was gonna say? And then we can go back to it. I wanna know what the cock washer is. What is that? It's not a cock washer, just stop, okay? Zoom in on that little cock washer. So five years ago, Andrew, I keep saying,

Starting point is 00:46:19 let's go to the Korean spa. I go every night, you won't go. I know. And so if you go with me, that's what the shower, like the baths look like. Well, this isn't gonna you won't go. I know. Right, and so if you had gone, if you go with me, that's what the shower, like the baths look like. Well, this isn't gonna make me wanna go. It's the best, you get really, what you do is you get the little plastic stool, you sit down,

Starting point is 00:46:35 then you see that bucket underneath them? Yeah. Sometimes it's a bigger bucket, but it's plastic, right? And you get a towel, you take the soap, right? And you, you know what I mean? You get the fucking suns going. You cover the bucket with a towel, you take the soap, right? And you get the fucking suds going. You cover the bucket with a towel? Why?

Starting point is 00:46:48 You just sit raw ass on a fucking bucket? No, that's not the bucket he's sitting, the blue thing. There's one right by this fits, right there, that white thing. He's sitting on a blue thing. Do you sit on one of those? Yeah, that's a seat. It's a plastic seat.

Starting point is 00:46:59 But he's raw ass on it. He's open raw ass on it? That's what you do on it. No, I'm good. Okay, well then you're not good. Why do I want to sit on where some other guy's asshole was spread out washing? What I like to do is I like to spray it down a little bit.

Starting point is 00:47:11 That's not gonna do it. Anyway. Go ahead, I don't wanna go. And by the way, then you stand up and your dick is in mirror. It's like a weird, it's just a weird, this is a weird sexual. It's not. I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:47:23 Those little cock washers, I don't like. We have to do it. Tell me something, you bathe sitting, it is what you do, you take a shower sitting down. So what I do is I- Do you know how many people that are paralyzed that would dream about taking a standing up shower? That's like a-

Starting point is 00:47:34 No. This is ableist. This is mocking the disabled. And I won't stand for this kind of shit. Go ahead. Thank you. Back to me. When I'm sitting there with the towel, with the suds, I get every piece of my body, I

Starting point is 00:47:53 scrub, I scrub, right? And I take the, you know, there's a bucket, it's full of water, I rinse it, I do it again. Then I'll dump the bucket, put fresh water in it, put it over my body, right? It's more of a, it's kind of like a bath shower. It's a therapeutic bath. Yeah, and you can turn to the guy next to you and go, how was your day? I don't wanna.

Starting point is 00:48:13 What'd you golf today? I don't wanna talk to someone from Washington, what'd you golf today? I didn't golf today. How many golfers did you encounter there? Well, it's a Korea town, so it's a lot. By the way, it's connected to a driving range. Yeah, well, I was just saying it

Starting point is 00:48:26 because I'm making it seem like he was next to me. I would never go. Here, here's me. Go ahead. Yeah. What'd you gulp to that? Hey, I'm washing my cock. Don't-

Starting point is 00:48:36 Yeah, yeah. Talk to me when washing my balls, that's insane. Yeah. I don't want to have a conversation while I'm washing my balls. Although there should be a rule. Last night, I was at the Wee Spa, okay? I'm in washing my balls. Although there should be a rule. Last night I was at the Wii Spa. Okay. I'm in the steam room. It's packed for some reason.

Starting point is 00:48:49 There's a lot of black people last night, which I love. The way you said it. Well, thank God for the steam. I love it. Right. So I'm like in the steam room. Then I see this tall Asian kid. You just walk in there and keep tripping on black dicks. Jesus Christ, obviously. Pick that up, will ya?

Starting point is 00:49:09 And this guy, I have two rules. Can I tell you my two rules? Where I don't like being recognized. AA meetings, okay? You're gonna get recognized at AA meetings. I know, but I don't like when they go, if they go after an AA meeting, I'm on the road. Like I just went to Portland, I went to an AA meeting.

Starting point is 00:49:27 And people were like, hey, can I get a photo with you? And I go, not at an AA meeting, I'll do it anywhere else but here. Right, that's a private time. Yeah, because also it's like, I'm like one of many. I get that, I get that. Steam room is another one. So last night I'm at Wee Spa, right?

Starting point is 00:49:41 And then I see this tall Asian guy, probably young, early 20s. And he's completely naked. And he goes, yuh! Like with his legs like this. He goes, yuh! Like this? Bobby Lee!

Starting point is 00:49:54 Like this, right? And I was like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. It drives me nuts. They cut to, I'm taking a photo with them. I don't know why. I was like, all right, let's just do it real quick or whatever. But my point is that those are two places, if you ever see me there, don't ask for a photo. But it makes his life. Not when I'm naked in a steam room trying to relax. Well, oh, ah, so yes. This is my point. Why am I going to this place to do a cock washing here when I can go to a very comfortable

Starting point is 00:50:26 private place? You're proving my point. No, you- Because when I go to a spa, when I go to a spa and I get a massage and I go to sit in the steam room, there's like one other person in there. Then I go in the hot tub, maybe one other guy. You know what we do? We go like this.

Starting point is 00:50:40 That's it. Little head nod, little acknowledgement. Then we don't say a fucking word to each other. Then I go in my little private stall and I wash my balls in my butthole with nice soap and I take a hot shower. And then I go up to my room and I go lay down. Okay, this is what we're doing.

Starting point is 00:50:51 And that version of a spa to me is the one I like. There's no one there and I don't have to talk to anybody. I go there to get away from chit chat. You like the chit chat. You're afraid to admit it, but you like the chit chat. I don't like the chit chat. Your next special should be called chit chat. You're afraid to admit it, but you like to chit chat. I don't like the chit chat. Your next special should be called chit chat. I don't like the chit chat.

Starting point is 00:51:10 You do. No, I don't. McCone even said it. You come up to his family and you chit chat. Yeah, yeah. So here's what we're going to do. You see someone on the street and you chit chat. I don't chit chat.

Starting point is 00:51:19 You're a little chit chat. Stop doing that. A little ching chong chit chat. Oh, really? A ching chong chit chat for the hip hat. Aina. Shove it. Fuck you.

Starting point is 00:51:29 This is what we're gonna do. Carlos, that's not funny. That's not funny, that stuff. This is what we're gonna do. And I think it's gonna be good for the show. All go to the spa? No, the wee spa. We'll all go?

Starting point is 00:51:40 Yes, we all go as a team. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, right? Bring your baby. I'm going to Andres Spa. No, no, no. And then we're gonna do the Bulgama Room. They have bulgogi in there? No, not bulgogi.

Starting point is 00:51:52 No? No, there's a room there called the Bulgama Room at Wee Spa, look it up. Oh, that's it, that's it, that's it. That's the Bulgama Room, okay? So that's the Bulgama Room. It's 200, sometimes it's like 215 degrees. 206, it says. Yeah, sometimes it's higher, right? It's very hot. So it's like 215 degrees. 206, it says.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Yeah, sometimes it's higher, right? It's very hot. So it's a sauna. Yeah, it's a sauna. Yeah, white people just call it sauna. It's just a sauna. What's the degree of a sauna? Google it.

Starting point is 00:52:17 What's the average degree of a sauna? Well, they have- Of a dry sauna. It depends on where you go. Some places are real hot. No, no, no, I want to look at this. You're really, really, really, really, really, really. 150, 175.

Starting point is 00:52:28 Right. So the Bulgama takes it to the next level. It's like, you know what I mean? It's not regular- More sweat? Yeah. So I can smell more kimchi pouring out of your fucking nose? God, you're being so negative right now.

Starting point is 00:52:41 So basically what I'm saying is you go in there and most dudes walk in there and they walk out, but not us. We sit. We're gonna sit. Until someone dies. No, no one dies. No, no one dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the way you spell Bulgama Room, right? I'll go in that. We will? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:54 And you're fully clothed, there's people doing hot yoga and all that stuff, right? No, no, no, no. People are doing yoga inside of the Bulgang, inside of there? Sometimes, yeah. Absolutely not. Sit down. You need to tell them to stop. I'll go sit down.

Starting point is 00:53:05 Okay, okay. I don't want to play that. And then look up the clay room. The clay room at Wee Spa. Because Ari and I went to the Russian spa in New York and I fucking love it. You got in the cold, do you do cold plunge? There's cold plunge here too.

Starting point is 00:53:18 You don't do it though, do you? I do, I do it, you have, go there with me and I'll show you the fucking, my wise ways. Yeah, well. All right, that's the clay room. Not going in that either you the book and my wise ways. Yeah, well. All right, that's the clay room. Not going to that either. Yeah, you are. Nope.

Starting point is 00:53:28 Yeah, and we're gonna do that same exact thing. How many, all the bodies that lay in there. You're gonna use my shoulder as a pillow. I would be like that. Dude, look how relaxed, you and I lay there. I would do it for the photo. Yeah, it's fun. So anyway, we go there, right?

Starting point is 00:53:41 Clay room, hey. Clay room. No. Yeah, don't you think that'd be a fun thing to do as a group? Yeah. We're gonna do it, when go there, right? Playroom, hey. Playroom. No. Yeah. Don't you think that'd be a fun thing to do as a group? Yeah. We're gonna do it, let's set a date now. Do it.

Starting point is 00:53:51 All right? Do it. All right, can you guys do it Sunday during the day? Yeah. You have to bring your kid. Which Sunday? This Sunday during the day. This Sunday.

Starting point is 00:54:00 Not this Sunday, I can't. Well, then he's not gonna do the movie. Yeah, I'm not doing the movie. I'm available. So. Ha. How about this? How about this? No, honestly. We'll do a family trip.

Starting point is 00:54:07 Monday night. Okay. Monday night, we do Wee Spa as a family. I'll pay. And then we can vlog it or whatever for the Patreon. Well, we're not going to, they won't let us film in there, obviously. And we can film all the way up to when we get naked, I think. Sure.

Starting point is 00:54:23 Yeah. And then it'll be a fun night, right? And then you, and I guarantee you at the end of the night, we'll walk out of there and you're gonna look me in the eyes and go, I get it. I get why you go there. I've been to a spa. It's 24 hours, it's not Russian, it's Korean.

Starting point is 00:54:39 It's 24 seven. I like Russians. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We got it, you're selling us on it. We gotta go now. There's a restaurant up there. I'm not eating after fucking staring at your cock for an hour and a half.

Starting point is 00:54:51 You know what? I'm not gonna be hungry, I'll tell you that. If anything, it'll be for a small meal. Okay. Maybe appetizers. Let's move on then. Let people eat there. Shrimp?

Starting point is 00:55:00 Yeah, yeah, with the little hats. Anyway. Are they there? Yeah, they are there. Asian women? Oh yeah. Naked. No, see that portion at the little hats. Anyway. Are they there? Yeah, they are there. Asian women? Oh, yeah. Naked. No, see that portion we all get dressed, the third floor where the Bougamma room is,

Starting point is 00:55:11 and then the first half of the thing we go in the men's department. Yeah. We get naked there. And I'll get you a locker far away. You don't have to look at my genitals. No, I've seen it a thousand times. It doesn't matter. I know, but you haven't seen it in the wild.

Starting point is 00:55:22 It's different. Smaller? More claws. Wow. And fangs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to see it in the wild. It's different, it's different. Smaller? More claws. Wow. And fangs, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to see it in the wild, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that Bobby's dick? Anyway, so next Monday night,

Starting point is 00:55:31 we're gonna do a Bugama Room, Wee Spa experience, right? We'll go, you're flipped on it, we'll go. And then- Anyway, perfect days, Vin Vinders directed it. And I think it's gonna just, I think it's greatly gonna redirect my life into a different area. That's what, so the gardening, let's go back to the gardening.

Starting point is 00:55:50 He gardens in it, okay? Does he not? He has a little gardening in his little studio and I've always wanted to do that. Yeah, me too, I just don't. Yeah, I don't. And so I went and bought a catnip setup to start after watching the movie. And I've been watering it, watching it grow. And there's just something about watching something grow from the soil that really-

Starting point is 00:56:14 It's beautiful. ... does it for me. I had a gardening thing at our old house that we had for a long time. We grew a lot of stuff and ate it all the time, but then I just couldn't keep up with it. But it was like a mechanism. It was pods. Have you seen these things before? Oh yeah, I saw them online. I just couldn't keep up with it, but it was like a mechanism. It was pods. Have you seen these things before? Oh yeah, I saw them online. Yeah, we had one at the house and it was incredible.

Starting point is 00:56:27 We had basil, we had lettuce, we had peppers. I don't remember what that thing is called. We got it gifted to us and we put it outside. The problem is it's circular. Hydro builder? Is that what it was called? Let me look at the hydro. Let me look at the hydro builder. The problem is it's circular. Hydro builder. Is that what it was called? Let me look at the hydro. Let me look at the hydro builder.

Starting point is 00:56:49 Yeah, that's kind of what it was. It wasn't this company. I was thinking about getting one of those. Yeah. I don't know which one it was, but it was kind of similar to that. But the problem is it's 360. So it has to be placed in a place that gets all sides get sun, which is pretty tough. Very difficult. Yeah. Instead of being flat like a garden so it gets direct overhead. It doesn't spin? No, they make ones that you can rotate, because the base of that is filled with water.

Starting point is 00:57:12 It's heavy as fuck. Yeah. And what happens is it waters itself every 15 minutes, so you don't have to do anything. You just have to test the pH and make sure it's balanced. It was cool, but then I was like, this is not really gardening. This is city gardening. So I want to do it the right way, but then I have to get pots. Are you just growing it in the front of your house, in like a little dirt spot?

Starting point is 00:57:34 Yep. Yeah. You got to build a box. You got to build boxes. I'll build a box. Will you really? I'd come over and do that with you. I'm only going to raise frogs.

Starting point is 00:57:42 That's my wee spot. We'll do some white people shit like gardening. But we're going to do both then. By the way, you know what movie I got caught in? Not movie, but series, and you're going to be over it. But on the plane ride, just now from Dallas. TikTok, dancing. I watched four episodes of Long Strange Trip. Dude, I love that. That's what got me back in the fucking great, got me back in the great- So here's what's crazy. Like a couple of years ago, because the guy who I play on, Dave, Mike, the real guy, him

Starting point is 00:58:09 and I are friends and he's a big fish fan. He likes this world a lot. And I said, Hey, I started listening to the dead again. Like I don't know why. When I was in high school, I liked it. Okay. But then I wasn't really. And I started, and then I really started to kind of get into it

Starting point is 00:58:25 a couple of years ago again, and then I watched this documentary to kind of validate why I liked them, because I didn't really understand. I was like, I just liked their shit, I guess, but man, this goes so deep. Bro. It goes so deep.

Starting point is 00:58:39 And I don't know if Deadheads are probably fucking, I don't know if they like it, if like real fans like it. They do. I don't know. I'll tell you why they do. May I tell you why I do? Oh, please. In the late eighties, right, Omar and all my friends,

Starting point is 00:58:52 they were all deadheads. And they would still go to the shows back in the day, right? And I was a velvet underground guy. I was more like New York street. I didn't like flower power. You like grungy. I like heroin, S&M kind of things. Dirt bags.

Starting point is 00:59:06 Yeah. Yeah. There's a better way to say it. You like CBGB. Yeah, I like CBGB, the remote, that kind of thing, right? Dirty. Sorry. You're right.

Starting point is 00:59:17 Yeah, you like dirty. Dirty fingernails. So that's fine. But these people had dirty fingernail fans too. Right, right. So, my whole life, I hated the fucking dead. What? Hated them.

Starting point is 00:59:28 So not hateable. Well, I'll tell you why. I don't like 45 minutes jams and G minor. When you're ripped, you do. I know you do. But it's like, I'm more like two, three minutes song, whatever, right? Right, right, right.

Starting point is 00:59:39 So, I don't know where I was, but I was with a bunch of like hippies, old hippies. And I was going, it was just going, now I'm 52, right? And I'm like, yeah, fuck the dead. And like, did you see Long Strange Strip on Amazon? And they go, no, I will refuse, right? But then one guy was like, dude, I know who it was. I know who it was.

Starting point is 00:59:59 It was J.H. Harris, J.F. Harris. J.F. Harris, the comic, yeah. It was J.F. Harris. We were with a bunch of hippies, him and him. And J.F. goes, dude, I was always. J.F. Harris, the comic, yeah. It was J.F. Harris. We were with a bunch of hypes, him and him. And J.F. goes, dude, I was always like you, but then I saw that documentary and it changed my whole thing. And I go, are you sure?

Starting point is 01:00:12 He's like, just watch it. And once I saw it, dude, I just started, that's all he listened to. It's incredible. Well, I think with something that he said we related to, Jerry had said some things in it that I related to so, Jerry was, Jerry had said some things in it that I related to so much as a comic.

Starting point is 01:00:27 He one time said, maybe we're was quoting about him, but he had said that musicians have tricks. And I immediately thought of us. I go, so do comics. We have tricks. And he goes, when you're live, there's tricks that you know gets them in the, ah, and or does the thing. And without getting too deep into it, performers know what your tricks are that you know gets them in the, ah, and or does the thing. And without getting too deep into it,

Starting point is 01:00:46 performers know what your tricks are that you can kind of get away with. And sometimes you do the tricks and you go, I don't even like that, but I know it's gonna razz them up a little bit. You know what it is. I rely on mine so much. Well, and that's fine.

Starting point is 01:00:59 But Jerry said once they learned how to do tricks, he realized how little he wanted to do them anymore because then he thought, everybody can do these tricks that means. He was saying, it's like in our reference, if you play a video game and once you beat it once and someone else is talking to you about them trying to beat it,

Starting point is 01:01:16 you know when you're a kid and somebody's like, dude, and then do you know when you get to the castle? And in your head you're like, I already know this. And I already know where you have to go. And he was saying- Where do you go in the castle? You have to go down again. You have to go one more level down. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:29 You always have to go down. And you know why you have to go down? Why? To get up. You got to get back up. Got to go down to get up to go down again. And so he, Jerry was translating that tricks he fucking hated. And he was like, I don't give a fuck if the set suffers a little bit, if we can find it

Starting point is 01:01:43 more organically than us doing a trick to get back. And I thought that's what all comics are striving to do, is to wipe away your tricks and what? And take some fucking risks and maybe a joke bombs and maybe a transition doesn't work as clean, but without the trick, you feel more real and it feels more. And when Jerry professed that, that's part of the reason I think the band became so prolific because they were like no more tricks we'll try we'll just keep working it till it's magic what's wrong did I piss you off no he doesn't do that he relies on the tricks no you don't that's not true I do no you don't you just taught me no more No, you don't. You just taught me, no more tricks. No, you don't.

Starting point is 01:02:25 What are you saying? No more tricks from me. By the way, Jerry without a beard. Not good. Not a great looking guy without the beard. Rest in peace. But man, when you see some photos, you're like, the beard was good.

Starting point is 01:02:35 Sometimes, like a guy like me, if I shave my fucking beard, yeah, different guy. It's a different kind of- Different guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like me without a beard is not, I'm not, I do not like my face without a beard. I'm born, I am born with beard. Some me without a beard is not, I'm not, I do not like my face without a beard.

Starting point is 01:02:45 I am born with beard. Some people must have beard. Carlos must have beard. I've seen you without a beard, must have beard. Thanks, man. Yeah, no, dude, you and I, same face, must have beard. You don't need beard. I can't.

Starting point is 01:02:58 That's your American name, don't need beard. I must have beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He must have beard. But anyway, that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He must have beard. But anyway, that document are really kind of, it changed me. It brought me back to what I, what, you're fucking, you're laughing at me?

Starting point is 01:03:13 What are you laughing at, man? Just must have beard. Must have beard. Very funny joke. I laugh at your joke. Gone are the days I didn't say that. When the ox fall down.

Starting point is 01:03:21 I really like them. And I'm a big John Mayer fan. And then listening to John do it is, I don't know, it's pretty cool. With Dead in Company is actually pretty good. So I watched that on the way to Dallas and I'm telling you, I validated why I like them. I was like, why do I like them?

Starting point is 01:03:36 Right. Yeah, I was like, right, yes, because they fucking, they're free. And they really are because the acid tests open up their range of freedom. And they just- Also, we're, you know what I mean? They all stuck together for many, many years together.

Starting point is 01:03:48 As long as they could until fucking, I think, unfortunately the doctor talks about how the drugs just separated the fuck out of them, and pig pens death. We should do this as long as we can. Until we die. I will do this forever with you. Okay.

Starting point is 01:03:59 And let's do more magic. Well, I've got some exciting news. Congratulations. Well, it's actually for you. Oh, shit. I got a phone call from our agents saying, hey, we are probably going to have to add seats and shows for Australia for Down Under. Sold a good amount of tickets. So people, our Australian fans, coming to see us. They're excited. So we're going to add seats. We're going to add shows. Go to badfriendspod.com. You can actually see all the tickets and we're coming down to Sydney, Brisbane, Oakland,

Starting point is 01:04:27 Melbourne, Italy, Pith. By the way, this was a big point of contention. I said to my agent, Perth is on the Western part of Australia. It's fucking forever away. Australia is like America. Will we be able to stay in a couple of cities for a couple of days or no? We kind of can do it. It's going to shift around.

Starting point is 01:04:42 We can also stay longer or go over. We have friends I want to hang out with and stuff. Yeah, we can do it. It's gonna shift around. We can also stay longer or go over. We have friends I wanna hang out with and stuff. Yeah, we can do that. The button over there, yeah, yeah. But I think we're gonna add some seats in Sydney and all that stuff, cause they showed up. Yeah, it's a five hour flight from Sydney to Perth.

Starting point is 01:04:53 It's huge. It's going- It's a huge place. But here's what boned us. We're going to Perth last. So we're going west, and then we gotta go all the way back east, back to America.

Starting point is 01:05:03 I always wanna see a cane frog. always want to see a cane frog. You're gonna see a cane frog. Really? And we're gonna go pet kangaroos. I want to see a cane frog. You know about the story about the cane frog? No. Okay.

Starting point is 01:05:12 Well, give it. I don't know either. No, I do. No, what happened was the cane frog is- Cane frog. Look up cane frog. It's a 20 hour flight back home from Perth. So you know sugar cane trees, plants.

Starting point is 01:05:27 Yeah. Right. There was a bug that was like, you know what I mean, eating those up in Australia, attacking the crops. So they shipped cane frogs over there because they thought that cane frogs would eat those bugs, but they couldn't jump high enough, right, to eat, they could get the bug.

Starting point is 01:05:43 And these fuckers fucking reproduce so fast, the whole fucking country is riddled with cane frogs. I mean, maybe I've seen them then when I was out there. Yeah, it's destroying things. I'll tell you what we're fucking littered with is cicadas. Cicadas are disgusting. I was back in, dude, when I was in Nashville, they're so loud that when you go outside-

Starting point is 01:06:03 What is it, locust? No, a cicada. I've never heard of it, Locust? No, a cicada. I've never heard of it. You don't know what a cicada is? Never even heard even the sounding of, the sounds I've never heard. Oh my God. Cicadas. Cicada with a C. Do you guys not know what a cicada is?

Starting point is 01:06:18 Yes. I don't know what it is. Carlos, do you don't know what a cicada is? These things go underground, Bob. They bury themselves. For how long? Is it decade? Is it 10 years?

Starting point is 01:06:26 Every 10 years, they resurface and they infest parts of the country and they're, gggggg. My Lord. Think about how creepy that is, Bob. Underneath you right now. There's a billion different versions of this

Starting point is 01:06:37 burrowing beneath our feet. Holy shit. Creating an infrastructure and a system. It's insane. Chit chat. Chit chat. Chit chat. Periodical cicadas are insects that spend most of their lives on the ground feeding off the sap of tree roots underground. It's insane. Chit chat, chit chat. Chit chat, chit chat. Periodical cicadas or insects

Starting point is 01:06:45 have spent most of their lives on the ground feeding off the sap of tree roots underground. Underground, yeah. Wow. Every 17 years, you can't tell me this doesn't mean something. This is like, you know, you remember when they thought that like, you know, like in the Bible,

Starting point is 01:06:57 it says raining locusts and all that bullshit. It was just this. It's just this. We're just seeing it differently. Yeah, chit chat, chit chat, chit chat. Yeah, ch-chat. Ch-chat. Ch-chat. Anyway, thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah Woo Yeah

Bad Friends - The Yellow Man with a Green Thumb

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.