Bad Friends - Tito Cheeto is Back!

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: Shipstation, BetterHelp & Doordash • Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/badfriends. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show!  • This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://www.betterhelp.com/badfriends and get on your way to being your best self. • Get up to 50% off up to $20 at https://www.doordash.com code: BAD2023 YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Andrew James Santino & Bobby Gong Lee 4:58 Eating Kangaroo with John Cena 14:22 Different Clouds for Different Crowds  22:45 Australia Has the Worst Toilets  30:58 Bobby's Ninja Phone 38:52 Andrew is Terrible at War Zone and Bobby is Addicted to Hogwarts Legacy 46:15 Ryan Sickler Special is Out 51:01 Vaping Through Your Nose and Mango Boogers 1:05:15 The Only White Man in a Full Korean Show Ryan Sickler Comedy Special, Lefty's Son :https://www.ryansickler.com/special Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryansickler Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@rsickler More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Fancy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo! Why dude? I'm an Asian dude. Woo! You two are disgusting. Woo!

You two are something. We're bad friends. Welcome back from Australia, Santino. Oh my god. Who are you? Andrew Santino's back. I haven't seen you so long. Who are you?

I haven't seen you in so long. I'm Andrew James Santino. That's your middle name? Andrew James Santino. Whoa. You know me for 12 years. That guy doesn't know my fucking middle name. What's my middle name?

Gong. See? That's what I'm saying. It's not Gong. No, it's not. Yeah, yeah. It's Robert. I do know what it is.

Yeah. Oh. Robert. Robert Raman Lee. Is it Robert Raman Lee? No. Udon. Udon.

Robert Udon Lee. Udon Lee, dude. And we have in the studio with us today. Sickler. Sick dog. One of my favorite people who's in the studio. Ryan Sickler's here today. Clap.

Thank you. Right now. Everybody clap. Ryan Backpain. Sickler. Backpain Sickler. Sickler. Scott.

Scott. Scott. I love it. White name. That's very white. My middle name is Young. No. Y-O-U-N-G.

Like I'm young and old. Young. Robert Young. Ily. Robert Young Lee. Dude, do you know how many? Are you named after Robert Ily? He is.

Robert Redford, man. You're a direct descendant of Robert Ily. No. My dad loved Robert Redford and Steve McQueen. Uh-huh. And my brother Steve McQueen. And I'm Robert Redford. Are you really?

Yeah. What color is Robert Redford's hair? Yeah. Have you ever met Robert Revford? No. Is he still alive? Still alive, right? Yeah.

I went to Sundance. This is in the late 90s. You're going to like this. Sundance is his. That's his best business, right? Yeah. And I go up my friend Tracy to see her brother's film and we go out to one, you know, it's not all in one location, so we go out to this one remote area to see this film.

There's a few of them there. And Robert Revford's there, right? And these people are asking him for his autograph and he's just saying, no, I'm not going to give autographs, but I'll give you tickets to any show you want to see. And this guy comes up to him and he's like, Hey, can I get your autograph? He's like, again, I'm not giving autographs, but I'll give you tickets to any show you want to see. And he goes, well, you dropped your credit card and I got it.

And on the back of that credit card is your signature. And I really want your autograph. He's like, I'm not going to give you my autograph. I'll just give you tickets. He's like, I'm going to keep your credit card. He's like, okay. And he did. He kept Robert Revford's credit card.

He had to go cancel that. No. Really? He refused? Yeah. I like that guy. That's who? Which?

Which guy? How smart is that? I like the guy that kept the card. Yeah. I would have never thought. I like, oh, yeah. I don't sign it back. Do you sign it back?

Your credit card? No. I've never signed anything. He doesn't know where credit cards are. I don't know what signing is. I don't know. Where would you sign in the front where the numbers are? Yeah.

You signed right over the number. Oh, no. Right on top. With one of those Sharpies? Yeah. Sharpies. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Say it. You missed me. I fucking held down. You missed me. Say you missed me. I missed you. I love you and you're my friend. I missed you.

You look like you lost some weight. I have not even been eating. I know. You look like you lost some weight. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Just not put the hand up at me.

What? I'm back. Look what I'm doing. Smile at me. Spock it, dude. Spock it up. Okay. Don't spock me.

So I fucking did an all Korean episode. Loved it. I did an all Mexican episode. Loved it. Okay. It's enough. I did Borderlands. I was gone for two months, right?

Yeah. You did this one with Efron, right? No more movies. Efron and John Cena. Okay. And I just got offered another movie today. No. Yeah.

Just got offered another one. Are you going to say yeah? Well, let me tell you who's in it. Uh-huh. Brad Pitt. Oh my fucking God, man. George Clooney. You ready for the last one?

You ready? Margot Robbie. And me. Wow. Those three and me. They're all laying this movie. Can I have your keys? First of all, the line is are the keys in the car?

No. How many lines is that? Is the car still running? I didn't know the line. Really? No, there's not a movie. I was about to. You know what I mean?

But the look in his eyes, dude, it's just for that. For the moment of panicking. Say a word. No, it's not because I want you to work, dude. I'm just saying that like panicking, like because that movie is going to be shot in New Zealand and then I have to do five more without you. I know. I'm back baby. I'm back and we're going on tour and who hasn't promoted the tour

God, it's insane. Oh my god. We're doing we're doing we're doing 30 some cities I called you and I told you there's an over-under in comedy right now on how many cities you all actually make We're going to all them we're going to all them and the first one is gonna be Vancouver That's this week and then we go to Oklahoma City. Then we do st. Louis Kansas City. I mean, we're everywhere We got such a great show plan and we're on a bus and I can't wait to be on the bus with my boy But let me tell you about some of my experiences in Australia real quick because I had such a fun time And I want to fill you in did I eat kangaroo with John Cena and drink Guinness? Yeah, you better believe it You better do a kangaroo. What part of the kangaroo? Is that like deer? It tastes exactly. It's all muscle. It's gamey

It's super gamey. No, no, no, but honestly, you never eat animals at hop. You never eat animals. Yeah, that's a Korean proverb That's why you don't eat frogs and shit. Wait bunnies. What about rabbit? What about rabbits? We don't eat rabbits, dude They hop there's a Korean song son. Toki. It's about the fucking rabbit. This is real. Yeah, son. Toki. Toki. Yeah Dean and gun and yeah, I mean, it's about the fuck Yeah, dude, what in fact in fact, let me say this is a fucking truth, right? During the Korean War the North the Communists, they wouldn't get shot if they hopped That's what I got. All you have to do is hop and the other Koreans would be like It's a whole fucking thing. What's so funny? Don't eat things that hop. We don't eat things that hop

So don't what else rabbits rabbits rabbit frogs cats cats kind of gay people You can't eat them either. You can't eat them. Right. Well, who else what else? Oh somebody with one leg. Yeah, he's hoppin. He's hoppin for sure. You know, he's hoppin. Yeah I guess that's a good Korean proverb. It's a great one. But yes, I did I did have kangaroo and it was Very very good. I liked it. A lot of people don't like it, but I liked it. Do you qualify to fucking bastard first of all, dude Let me inform you guy who's uninformed. I at first I thought should I feel bad about eating this? I looked it up statistics three to one three to one kangaroo to people in Australia They can't wait to get rid of those fucking things there

You know when you're like, I can't wait to see one then you see 40,000 you're like fuck these things get them out of here No, really? They're everywhere. You gotta be kidding me. They're everywhere dude. So they're like cats Where where cats all of what are you talking about? You know those islands were like see what world he lives in. Yeah, no, I saw a documentary where there's an island cat island Yeah, like in Japan or whatever. Is there such thing as cat island Carlos? Yeah, it's an island in Japanese island. Yeah, but that's just the Japanese did that cuz they like cute shit. I don't know man. I love a kitty They made that That was heaven island and coffee shop

They charge people, you know, I mean they have one here in LA. No, that's a cafe. They do have a cafe. Yeah Yeah, that's okay. Have you paid I paid Your house is I have three cats, but I still paid to go to that so stupid. That's so dumb the coffee's great. Is it that good? No in in Australia, they're all over the place and and I went to go see a Tasmanian devil And by the way, I learned why they call them Tasmanian devils. They're ugly as shit. These fucking things are so ugly Yeah, but when these when the English people came down there to pick out where they were gonna drop off their prisoners Because it wasn't Tasmania at Port Arthur, which is the biggest the first penal colony By the way, the British how stupid are these people? They want to dump off their criminals in a place

That's supposed to be like treacherous and around the world Tasmanian one of the prettiest fucking places I've ever seen Wow great weather down there So the Brits are in shitty rain gloomy weather and I don't teach him to fucking prisoners and they left them on a beautiful island It was it's stunning. You know so pretty but when you drop off prisoners on an island. Yeah, what do you do to the prisoners? No, what do the prisoners do party? Oh party though. It was open-air prisons by the way, so it was just like Um, Coachella, who's Coachella? Yeah, yeah, basically Coachella Coachella, you know, I mean, but then do they build houses and stuff? Yeah, they built a life down there Yeah, and now it's a fully functioning. It's a society incredible

No, but they but the Tasmanian devil is called that because when the Brits came down there They when they're young and they are I mean not just when they're young when they're in breeding when they're in breeding They make this noise. It's unmistakable. It's so creepy. You hear it. It's like Yeah, it's so weird. Whoa, and they do this heavily at night too when they're breeding So the British came at night on boats and they would go onto this fucking wooded island and all they heard was Echoing in the woods. I'd be so scared. Well, dude, they thought it was ghosts and witches and they were like it's ghosts and evil spirits So that's why they were like put the fucking criminals with the ghosts in the evil spirit They're these little tiny bullshit animals. They're just they're little tiny. Yeah, although they will fuck you up

They can bite. So you saw one. Yeah, I saw a guy. I saw a guy He fed one of the handlers like fed it, you know, like Roadkill and he fed it in front of everyone and said the jock is so strong. It can break through human bone Okay, I was gonna ask you raccoon or Tasmanian, but now I know Tasmanian Honey badger honey badger, right? What would be what would win honey bad? In a fight Tasmanian devil if Tasmanian got the clock if it got its mouth on it honey badger No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. If the Tasmanian got its mouth on Tasmanian can't kill snake

What that's another Korean fuck for proverb Sing that song Sing the song. All right Ta-Nee-Nee-Hook-Kang-Ko-Snakes No, no do it do it in Korean I don't think I don't think Chung-Gol-Nut-Chul-Snakes

No, I only know the English version With the broken axe That's the thing. He knows the English version of the broken axe Yeah, Chung-Gol-Tong-Ko-Nut-Chul Frank Sinatra did a fucking English version of it Oh, he did? To Tasmanian Don't eat snake. Yeah

His Frank Sinatra one of the best I've ever Ever It was fucking terrible Baby blue eyes No, but they're tiny and they're but they're little vicious assholes But I'm telling you the jaw the strength of them is insane He can look it up at some they can literally break through your femur They could bite and crack your leg in half

Uh-huh. So can you can you have one as a pet? You would never you why why? Can can you have an alligator as a pet? But you know what? Yeah, you would never though But let me I'm saying you could have anything But can I say something though? If you live in Dubai, how about that? If you're one of those guys where they have fucking tigers that roam around their castle

I'm gonna say something controversial Give it But Tasmanian is a living species, right? Right and so they might have the same ailments that some human beings have Like diabetes? You've worse Like AIDS? No, like you know

Spinal bifida They got this spiny bifida A little spiny bifida So the Tasmanian devil had spinal bifida and muscular dystrophy Oh, so the Tasmanian muscular dystrophy Yeah, and so it's not as wild Right It's back hurts like right, you know

It's more docile Yeah, it's more docile And maybe blind in one eye, you know what I mean? You could probably have one of those A blind, blind Tasmanian devil with muscular dystrophy? Yeah, some not one that's fully like, you know what I mean? Functioning Yeah, okay, Carlos, see if you can Google one of those for the tour bus

See if we can get one of those things on the bus For the tour, lazy Have you been on a bus before? I have, on Segora's bus Yeah, I did Segora's bus Well, you know his bus is nice, for sure It's not gonna be like our bus Don't, whatever you got on his bus

Ain't gonna be like that with our bus, buddy Really? We have to get it, you know how like your propeller plane You have to get the thing going We have to push the bus to get it to start We got a discount bus dude You got an old school bus It's a kickstart, you literally have to just

Is there no floor and we have to do it like the Flintstones? How nice was Segora's tour bus? Oh my god, dude So nice It's, yeah And I like his security guy, both of them The one from Austin, you mean with shaved head and the goatee Hey, another thing, we have no security on our bus

Oh, we don't? It's fucking Carlos We have the emo guy Who? Brandon Durmer's friend McCone McCone, yeah Well, he's not gonna be our security guy

He weighs like a hundred fucking pounds You're gonna use security too, right? Look at him He's where I come from, that's called a warning That guy goes out the way We'd like you to get away We'd like you to, would you? We're gonna fuck you up first

Listen, guys, I'm not gonna have to tell you again Don't let me tell you twice What's the food like in Australia? Okay, Melbourne Melbourne, one of the greatest cities on planet Earth Okay I like Sydney It was fun, but Sydney was a city I recognized

Do you know what I mean? Melbourne was so fucking cool So many views, so many Asians Artists? No, no Same age So many fucking Asians, it was insane And so many different kinds of Asian food, it was phenomenal

Did you get recognized? I did A lot? Enough Enough for what, your ego? No, just enough where it was just enough It felt good Well, it was nice, because I'm around the world

It was nice to be like, whoa, dude, fans here is fucking awesome I did a couple of shows, I did two shows Sold them out, 600 seats apiece, 12 under Bang bang bang bang bang bang Pretty good It was fucking fun I did get recognized once in a while The coolest thing to be recognized was by restaurant tours

When a chef would come out, because you came into the restaurant That was way cooler, because it was like Mrs. Antina, we're happy that you're in the restaurant Can we, you know, get you some stuff? And I'm like, yeah, you can get me some stuff She's so gross No, fuck you, man It was so fun

You know what you said? No, I wasn't recognized I went to McDonald's Why would I go to McDonald's? That's true, but you know I had a great time and the food was so good So many different kinds of like Asian fusion Which is nice, because I know you guys

Up there, you guys don't talk to each other But down there, man, they all get along What do you mean? Up there Up there, we're all the Asian You think there's a China heaven and a Korean heaven separated? Tell me there's not I'm pretty sure there is

You guys are absolutely not going to the same place I know exactly You're in your own place Yeah, but we're on different clouds Yeah, different crowd It's a different crowd for a different cloud I wasn't sure if he said that I was confused

I thought he was saying crowd You thought I said crowd? I thought you were saying crowd I was saying cloud Different crowd Where are they? Oh, different crowd Crowd nine

So you were right Maybe there are separations up there 100% there's a separation So you think there's a North Korea cloud And a South Korea cloud in heaven? Or are we the same cloud? I would argue one of those doesn't get a crowd See, this is interesting to me

Where I come from, racism was Baltimore was white and black Then I moved to LA And I didn't realize that black people And brown people had a problem with each other And I was like, this is interesting Isn't that funny to learn? And then I learned about the Asian hierarchy

From a Japanese guy I worked with And we used to work with this Really pretty Korean girl And he was Japanese Sorry, you said pretty Korean He would always say, she's a dog And we're like, what?

You don't find her attractive? He's like, no And then he explained to us that Japanese, they feel that they're the Premier Asian race And that Koreans are the dogs And went into this whole hierarchy Of racism among the Asians

And as a white guy, I was like I'm just gonna sit back and watch this And enjoy this right here You know what the irony is? They all eat dog So that's a strange approach She's a dog, she's a dog, she's a dog He's just handing out dogs

You get a dog, you get a dog All right, it's a joke, relax, Bob No, after the podcast Write his name down for me I still remember it He's very Japanese Yeah In the 1940s it was them

And then just nuclear shout out Man, I'm so happy to be back I'm so happy to be back I love you No, hey, hey, hey, be nice You guys all like each other I love it There is, dude

The levels of hate between Asians It's not that bad Yes, it is Let me tell you something Because I made the mistake Of calling a restaurant another I went to go to like a fusion place And I mistook what it was

And the server gave me the fucking like No, I'm the server Okay Yeah Man, this is some, this might be Some of the best, some of the best Like Filipino food I think I've ever had Oh, this is a good crowd

I just have to throw out that Thank you, though Did you say Filipino? Is this not a Filipino fusion food? I thought that's No What is this? We are Thai

This is Thai Yeah Now what is the difference? Filipino are, they put mud in the food They put mud in the food They throw in the mud and rock Oh, mud, pie and rocks Yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh Interesting Yeah Because they said kind of something similar about Yeah About you guys She was like a little kind of like That sketch didn't go over well, did it?

No I got that it was a Thai restaurant But what was the accent? That sketch sucked Because I went in for crowd That laugh The crowd was good And it threw me off

I know Well, you landed the crowd That got a laugh The crowd landed very well No, but the food was phenomenal The culture was very cool It was cool, like see Also the thing I learned down there

This, you'll find this interesting Because of, you know, America does this Better than anybody But it was nice to see other people do it You know how there's a law or a rule But we'll do something to skirt around it Do you know what I mean? And it's all just accepted

And even the law won't change Because even the law is like It's pretty good They found a fucking loophole, you know Like in Chicago You can't smoke in bars anymore Right But if you're a proprietor

And you own the building You can smoke in bars In Australia No, no, in Chicago So like we have these But in Australia So years and years ago There was a log and serving alcohol

On private establishments After a certain hour of the day And, you know They used to have all these like strict rules about it So what they do What they did was They name these places hotels So most things are called hotels

Right? Like the, you know It'll be like the Lambier Hotel Or the Napier Hotel And all the shit When I first saw it I was like There's a fucking hotel on every corner

What? Why? And they're only like a story tall Or maybe two And they told me that That was the way around it That when they would When they registered it

They registered the bars as hotels And all they would need Was at least one room upstairs For a patron to be able to sleep in So if cops or authority came They'd go No, no, no They're guests of the hotel

They're staying at the hotel Oh, wow So they could privately serve booze So when you go around Melbourne You'll go to all these little tiny hotels They're just bars and lounges Can I rent the room or no? You can't

What? Just cause Oh, okay Yeah They would give it to someone like me No, you could No, there is some of those places Do have rooms

Yeah But you wouldn't It'd be like going to A bar here in LA And then It'd be like renting a joke space You wouldn't do it You live there

Why would you rent a hotel? But there are actual hotels Real nice hotels That also have nice bars So it's It's just weird juxtaposition But most of the time the bar is Just a bar

Call the hotel But you have to admit You were bored at some time Bored? Yeah Never, not once You called me and said you were I called you in confidence

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BetterHELP.com Slash Bad Friends I'm losing my mind There's nothing to do You know what I mean? I was losing my mind a few times You know what it was? I told Sickler this too

I was losing my mind because it's so far A couple of days I was getting stoned Taking long beautiful walks And it hit me that I'm like So fucking far away from home So far Like a new level of far A nine-day boat ride

You know what I mean? Where you're like This is fucking forever So you feel isolated and sad You probably missed your wife I missed the comforts of home In the weirdest way You know what I really missed?

Australia? These motherfuckers and their toilets Dude, have the worst toilets The water level in here You know how we fill that bitch up with water? We fill that bitch up with water So when you poop My poop better fall into kaboom

I better kaboom Out there The water line A little baby water line So you hit the bowl Every time you shit Every time you shit You leave scrapes

Shit small then Shit small That's your, that's your new net Buy Bobby's nice tablets That's why I do rabbit I do a little rabbit pellets Yeah, yeah No, that's because you need to drink water

Can you control your shit? Like can you use your sphincter As a cut? You cut it Into pieces So wait you poop Like it's a pasta cutter Yes, that's what you do

You cut You cut You cut By, you know what I mean? Tightening it Brother You can't do that I do do it

If you cut, cut, cut The moment you cut It's going back up in You gotta let that whole fucking load Half of it goes back in But you're gonna cut that other part You might not get that out though That's the problem

What do you mean? That other half goes back up It might just be up in there far enough Where it doesn't come back out That's what you put You put air in your stomach It's a machine What the fuck

You store fart You store fart in the stomach Now I gotta bring So when the poop Stored up So you cut the poo A lot And then you use the fart

To bring it back out And you cut some more You don't guys even know that? What are you guys, stupid? The poop is in line The poop is like in line To get into a nightclub Right

It has to go in If you don't let it in It's gonna go home It's gonna go home If you turn your shit away I'm gonna go home I'm not waiting to get out Let's go nightclub analogy

Okay People are in groups Us three Nightclub line And then you have three Mexicans I just arbitrary They're not gonna put all six in You guys are three together

You guys come in Cut Right Three Mexicans are like What the fuck is going on bro? So what you're saying is Send the Mexicans back home That's what you're trying to say

Aren't you? No, but then like You're trying to say Go back to your country Is what Bobby's trying to say He sends the Mexicans back home So why people do it in one thing? I'm just learning something new

Why people take it Yes, we take it Should we get it out? You get all of it out What are you saving it for? I'm not saving it Because in the Australia situation When you have a little water

You're doing it in installments Layaway No Layaway You shit in layaway I'm in there to empty If I could get every demon out of me At that moment

That's the idea I'm like a rapper When he gets a bonus check It's just It's all coming out Yeah, you're saving You're saving I'm spending all of that cash

Well, maybe I don't know Maybe I'm doing it wrong So do you think this is a white thing? Do you think many other Koreans Would do this? Yeah, I think Koreans We use it and we cut it

In little pieces Really? Cute pieces It's gotta look cute I like shitting on my I like shitting on my own toilet So much that I'll save it

Like if I feel it coming I'll be like I can make it 30 minutes And I'll save it Yeah Why? Because home is so much better So much better

It's just you know your toy It knows you Yeah, there's comfort there I've got everything I know I need it there My grooves I've got my grooves laid in I know exactly where I fit

The fucking bidet is there My squatty potty is there It's all there I like doing it in gas stations What? Yeah You like that? And then you take your time

And those filthy fuck That's where I'm trying to get Shit in git Yeah, because it's like You know you don't leave the residue of You know when you poo You leave a little residue of smell You do

You don't I don't smell That's insane Yes, you leave a little smell Thank you That's insane what you just said Okay Stop saying stuff like that

Okay Do you leave a little residue of smell? Of course Yeah, my house never has the residue man What do you mean? Are you flushing also? You're pooping flush Poop flush?

When you cut it Are you flushing every time? Are you flushing after you cut every turn? Of course What? Yeah Are you serious? It's like an elevator

No It's an elevator First group comes in You flush First group comes in Another group comes in Flush Uh-uh

Yeah, why? One and done One and gone No Let it ride That's why you get a hydro flush The ones that They suck a fart right out of your ass

Those things are my favorites Do you do this with diarrhea? Do you Or do you just let that all go? Oh, that's a completely different ball game Okay Of course I cut there too You do?

Of course I do It's challenging Of course I cut I would do You do little squirt flush Little squirt flush I get this That actually made this

Thank you so much But in Australia, by the way I found myself talking to other people Because we were like All talking about it That I was like I hit the bowl every time And I said

I feel like I'm having No one's coming over But even for myself I feel like I had to like Scrape it away Yeah So multiple times

I had to like clean off the bowl Because the water didn't get up that high And even when I flush I'm thinking That'll take care of it Did not It did not Wow

Until I got to the hotel And the hotel had the todo Japanese toilet Shout out to the greatest Toilet ever fucking made I don't know that What is it? My brother

It's the one that has a heated seat This motherfucker dude It heats up in the middle of the night When you go up to pee It's Japanese You know it's Japanese Because they're on a different crowd Yeah, exactly

You've never tried Korean What are Korean toilets like? They do more What do they do that Japanese They do They do It vibrates Yeah

The Korean ones have a scissors That comes out and cuts for you They don't have to cut Yeah In fact there's like a little Like a little robotic You know nanobot Right that comes out

It's like a cup Right It takes a little poo It takes it away There's no splash There's no splash Right So the Japanese

They're all right The Koreans That's good I like the splash though Brother me too The perfect splash Yup And that fucking splash

Goes right back up into your sphincter And lubricate And not only cleans It lubes it For that next one So you have a poor man's bidet Yeah Yeah

Yeah That's a poor man's bidet I'm telling you Those Japanese toilets When I came home They're great We got on the internet And I'm ordering one

It warms the seat Also it has So you don't have night lights Like in our house When we redid the bathroom The guy was like Hey the outlets On the wall now

Can come with little baby lights As like A little night light Almost to illuminate at night It's amazing And I was like Oh that's great This toilet

When you get near it Has a glow ring below it And when it feels you It glows the toilet So you can just see The toilet in the bathroom at night So you don't have to turn on lights To wake up somebody else in the room

It's fucking amazing The seat's always nice and warm And it's got two angles of bidet Two Mine has a two At home You have a double bidet Double has a blue LED light

When I walk in Late at night Right The seat warms The fucking little fucking Robotic thing too See you are in a different crowd At the next level

You are next level I'm ordering one of those things They're incredible You don't have a bidet at home Yeah I have a bidet But there's nothing like the Poor man's bidet Yeah no

Poor man's bidet is number one But the poo But the poo is making the water So the water has a little poo in it You like it My ass has poo in it That's true That's true

Yeah Right Anyway You're right Theoretically Anyway Theoretically Yeah

Anyway Let's stop talking about poo I know me too Yeah I had a phenomenal time down there I did miss you I missed you too A lot

I called you a lot I know I called you a lot because I missed you very much Yeah And I wanted to say hi very often The hours were so different The hours were great Six hours in a day

So it was great for me Because when it was You know Around 10 a.m. You know I knew that was the afternoon here It was great It was the first time ever

We were cycling Yeah Because most of the time here I have to wait until 3 or 4 to hit you up Yeah And even still You put on read quietly Don't do that

Delivered quietly Stop fucking doing that It pisses me off Can I say something really honest? Yeah I have no idea What the fuck you're talking about There's a

You can Calm down And just explain it Dude This is our entire relationship Explain it When I text you Yeah

It will say Turned off by Bobby Or whatever And it will say Delivered quietly Meaning you won't get the pop-up On your phone So you won't know until you open up

Our text It doesn't vibrate It doesn't ding It doesn't do anything It just comes into your phone I literally thought my phone was broken Who's having said to that? You said to that

I didn't know that you could do that You did it Somehow somebody did it I'm going to have to change it Yeah Because it will say Delivered quietly I was going to go to fucking Verizon

And go Can I get into a phone that's broken Well do that anyway Your phone is broken It is broken Yeah Love that Yeah

No you think ninjas would love that The iPhone ninja Yeah Yeah Because you know when they're in the tree A ninja calling another ninja He's got ninjas in trees right now What?

Where else are they going to be? Where do they live? Where do they live? The first place he went to Yeah A ninja always in a tree All right Or you know

On a ceiling Now I'm a rooftop Right there The blowgun isn't that Mom's calling Right They're about to assassinate Blum-blum-blum-blum-blum-blum

Yeah It gives them away Right The people look up and go Oh the ninja Right Right Yeah

That's why probably they have the sound And they get back to the base And the boss ninja is like Put on delivery quietly You gave our location away Yeah Well what is that for though Like if you're

At night time If you don't want to be disturbed By text messages and stuff If you want to like tune out and turn off Yeah You put on the deliver notification To Carlos knows He's the fucking tech guy

When you're on a date You don't want other girls Oh Carlos went on a date And he doesn't want other girls Blowing up his phone And see another girl go Who's that That's a Carlos move

Or like a DM Or something like that Are you dating a lot right now by the way I mean I'm going on dates Not a lot And can we tell the fans About the amount of Glory hole requests

This guy's gotten Oh yeah I've gotten a lot A lot of emails about the glory holes I had people reaching out Thinking it was their glory hole They were like Oh I think I know that one

Remember he went to the glory hole In West Hollywood Of course I remember them We think he thinks that They found the people That he went to Yeah they were like Me and my wife had one

And then when we talked about Yeah sex clubs We got an invite To another one You and I did You never fucking said Yeah I know When you get invited

To sex with girls Don't tell me Well it's like every weekend We can go Where's it at Beverly Hills And how much money is it I think we can roll in for free

And what do I need to bring Just your dick Oh god It's at the shop I can't win I guess it's at the shop Yeah no really I have to bring my dick

And then what Do I have to Because I think they're fans You wanna try just for fun They're watching right now You wanna try just for fun Yeah Why would you say no

Of course you should go I've never been to one I get a little nervous Most people haven't Right right You talk about it Have you been to a sex club I've never been to a sex club

But when I first moved here I worked at a hotel And this dude would come in He was a He was LAPD's bad boy And this dude would always Roll in with two prostitutes And he was the nicest guy to us

And he would invite us out To these things And what he would do The rich kid His dad made the money Surprise surprise And he would rent a mansion In Beverly Hills

Or up in the Hollywood Hills And then throw a sex party And it was like eyes wide shut In the sense that we could come But you're not partaking You might be able to meet up With someone at the party But it was like

Israeli soldiers Standing next to this room In a velvet rope And then here's a Guy and a girl fucking And here's a threesome And here's whatever And each room had something

Different live sexual act Going on while you mingled And parted And you did this You went to this I went to it I didn't partake or anything But I was

Yeah, we all went to it From the hotel Like we all rolled together So but when you're there You just You stoned Or you're having a drink You're hanging out

At any point Are you trying to hook up With anybody Are you trying to talk to anybody You can to the people Who are there at the party I'm saying you Did you?

No Nah, you just chilled Oh yeah You were high You almost brought it To people It's a good one The ease

You're like Oh my god It's fucking real They really do you have They really have these Where do you buy Annual beats? Uh, online

Or at What's the store What's the one Store that we've sent You guys to go get stuff To, uh, hustler Yeah, hustler Yeah, he buys them a

Hustler You know Bed, Bath, and Beyond should have them In the Beyond department Yeah, that's it In the Beyond There should be a fucking Area in Bed, Bath, Beyond

Where you know No beyond department. Oh, that's funny. You've never been invited wait. There is one. Mm-hmm. Is it a white people thing? So when I go to bed, what can I? Put prosthetics on and go in. I don't know. We have to change those eyes buddy. Yes the eyes We can see we got high They go out of this high Asian guy What do you mean, I don't like Korean dude try to get here today y'all I don't know man that ninja must go that ninja

We don't let white people like that anymore All right. All right fine. Fuck. So what's in the beyond department? It's for us. Oh, fuck. Please tell me it's hard, man I'm sorry. It's like we signed a thing years ago. It's you're not supposed to I mean You think we want to lose our 20% off coupons? You know who you know who's gotten you know who sneaks in who Carlos because they think he's a white. Oh, that's right Why they think he's a white? By the way, and brice fart. He's too white when he goes there. They're like get the fuck out of here, dude Well, I think brice walks into anywhere and people are like, are this is the cops?

Not like he's an informant or something doesn't he look like an informant 100% Well, it brice you look like somebody we wouldn't trust brice either looks like, um, but he works for the feds or he's a school shooter No, he's uh, no, he's like a sniper a guy. Oh, snap. That's what I meant. Sorry. That's why you're not you're not Carlos, maybe school school. Yeah, maybe not talk about school. No, not now Not now. Maybe not by the way brice good to see you. It's been a long time. We haven't seen you in a while Um, what and he said I appreciate it, but that's the way I like him minimal talk out of that guy I love you brice. It's very good to see you. It's been a long time. You're still tall I was hoping you'd shrink this guy. He's domineering. You know what I mean? Like because I don't know

That's the thing about like tall lanky guys, especially tall lanky white guys You don't know he could snap in a minute and go go nuts. I'm on a crate right now Oh, we oh he is. Yeah, I'm I am No, I don't know because when I was playing when I remember when I first started playing stardew valley Yeah, and I didn't know how to fish. Oh, that was me. That was I know it. That's what I'm saying Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Slow down. Be nice. I love you. I mean, that was me. That was me. I taught you how to fish and start a valley Well, he gets excited That's what I mean about not getting into the beyond but he was like that

Yeah, but he he was so patient with me. Yeah, no, he's just Because I used to I thought I had to do with like the repetitive. You know mean button pushing No, he goes. It's just very casual man. You just kind of flow with it. You got to flow with it Yeah, you know, he'd be a good dad. You don't video games. He is a dad Oh, you are no No, he's not dude. Do you not know what the show is? Fucking welcome to the show. Yeah. This is why we don't have him around anymore. I know I know because at least pete will go Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he'll just agree

And when you when you call george andreas you always hear a baby in the background crying I love it. And by the way, fancy our boy fancy and the baby I was checking in with him to see how everything is going and it's not good She's leaving him a hundred percent. Yeah, he can't he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know He's like, I gave the baby sambuca and I was like, don't give the fucking baby sambuca, dude Out of your mind, man. He doesn't know what he's fucking doing. Yeah, he doesn't know what he's doing You don't video game, right? No, not anymore. See, you know what's so funny is like He's tried multiple times to get me back into it and it's it's just hard for me and it's not because like

It's not like a time thing. I've got a couple I could do it a couple hours at night or something like that But every time I've tried this is the sounds like old man shit It's it's daunting too many buttons too much stuff to do I I just want old school old school. I can do a b. You know what I mean? But he tried to show me Wars on one day. Oh my god a bunch of like really good guys, you know, I mean he put me on like the best wars on people that play the game Yeah, yeah, they're probably real snipers and shit. Yeah. Yeah, but I literally look at Andrew's character and he's yeah Spinning in a circle, right?

I was like so stressful. I got one kill. I got one kill. No, you didn't I guess I did Yes, it is what happened. You know how in warzone you hit somebody and they can fall Right. He didn't finish it off somebody else finish it off. Yeah, I know but I shot him off the building I know but isn't that kind of partially I shot him and he fell off you named somebody Congratulations. It's called maiming. Yeah. Yeah sick. At least I fucking maimed. Yeah, and our team won by the way Yeah, because I had the best guys in the country play with I think it was you and I No, I think I think me pointing the gun at the me put pointing the gun at the crowds helped And after that I was like, I don't think this is Andrew's thing

Yeah, you didn't have the patience to learn you're like fuck this shit. I didn't it's too calm. It's just too complex Also, I just I I also know me. I know I'll get addicted And I'll be you because with anything like golf I got it. I get I'm obsessed It's like if I get into a thing I'm gonna be addicted like you and Then I'll spend so much time. I'll be I'll be wasting more time than having fun. Yeah, I'll just be addicted to not having fun You know what I mean? I used to play back in the day. We do halo and all I used to love halo But we would be up till fucking I'd look over and I'm like the sun's coming up

I'd have to call in sick to work and shit Yeah, it's bad. Yeah for me. It's like I I can't do it anymore and I've passed it with four houses I know it's insane. What are you talking about? What do the houses do? What do you mean what are the houses? Why do you say the houses? Because you as a kid when you create a character you have to you know, they put the hat on No, dude, I do nothing about it. You never see Harry Potter the movie. I've never watched one. What are you saying? I haven't either. That's insane about the start couple adult males adult male couple adult males never seen it to me It's insane. Okay. It's like, I don't know who Selena is

Of course, I know who the fuck that was was thank you. It was she's dead. Yeah You really don't know anything about Harry Potter. I told you more. Okay, so I know more than I should know I told you the names of that things so basic in Harry Potter, right when you first go as a new student, right? A hat chooses your house Wait a minute Hat chooses so so so a hat is a room of hats. No, what? Okay, so there's one fucking hat per person. No. Oh one guy has a hat. There's one hat. There's only one hat That's unsanitary. Oh, there's oh, yeah, right

Everyone wears the same protocols or anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah So you put on a hat and it tells you basically the in the ceremony a bunch of kids are there and they're like they'll go Uh Ron Weasley come up Ron Weasley would sit down They put a hat on his head and the hat has a mouth And little eyes a little asian eyes, huh? Right. He's a whoa. I think this is Gryffindor and the Gryffindor clap Ron Weasley leaves, right? And then they put another kid on the fucking stool and put the hat on

So that the hat tells you where you go to live. Yeah, but that's based on what what is the hat fucking now? It's a hat. Yeah, because each each house has a you know, like Gryffindor is about like, um Exploring right there like explorers Slytherin or like people that are like greed or whatever. You know, you're Slytherin. No No, what are you Gryffindor your Slytherin? No, you're Slytherin. You're Slytherin You can't say it to me when I just said it to you. All right, you're Ravenclaw fine. And what is he? Hufflepuff a hundred percent Yeah, he's an explorer Wait, what's Hufflepuff? Gryffindor is the explorers. What's Hufflepuff the lazy ones? Oh, I mean Hufflepuff does I feel like the old korean groundskeep. Yeah

That's no longer there are no Hufflepuff people in the movie. I wouldn't mention it in the movies It's sickler and a bunch of old korean grounds keepers in Hufflepuff That's so strange that you guys don't know like a very big pop cultural thing Well, I know of it. We know the elements that we needed to know we know We know she was a bigot against trans people. We knocked that out of the park I know that fucking harry potter ron weasley and the girl Hermione, I know that's great. I know but the names this is this is what i'm talking about in the cultural zeitgeist I know what I need to know from a framework to stand a point of view

I don't need to know like the fucking hat that talks. Let me ask you some questions. What this is very important Sure, there's a game that they play Quidditch wow, that's amazing because I took my nieces. I took my nieces to the ride at the universe at Universal I did we I did the ride with them. Oh, let me ask them. This is fun. Let me ask you another question Okay, um in the series of the movie. There's one anime You know, I mean that is trying to get back. No, now you're fucking with me. There's no anime porn in the fucking movie There is there's anime porn in the movie. No, not anime Enemy yeah, they said anime. He said anime. Didn't he say anime? I thought I can't understand him sometimes

I heard him say bed bath and blion I'm just rolling with it. Yeah, I'm just here to promote my special. Yeah, welcome to the show You see you don't know about the anime Enemy enemy. Yeah, the main nemesis. I know I see. Yeah. What's his name gargamel Gargamel That's pretty close though Voldemort Voldemort. Yeah, Voldemort. Yeah, but he was originally named. He was a kid named tom riddle Oh, and who played who played Voldemort?

Um, the guy that played um, so you don't even fucking know the menu. Oh, yeah, I do Ray finds Ray finds. Oh, I like Ray finds a lot. Yeah, he's great in it He was he's he's such a good actor and then who else is in it the guy that was my favorite actor that died That's in it. He was the Daniel Radcliffe house of defense um Legendary he was in diehard. Yeah, I even know this guy. Wait, what's his name? Diehard is the main enemy in diehard. What's what's neat? Oh, uh, uh, uh, What is it Peter Pan Peter Pan not Peter Pan. No, um, no

What's his name? I played Hans Gruber. Alan. Hans Gruber the enemy in diehard. No, not Hans Gruber Oh, who are you talking about the main the guy that played the enemy in diehard the main bad guy Yeah, and the first actor played him. That's not Hans Gruber. Well, that's the character's name Hans Gruber is the character in the film. Oh, yeah, but what's his actually diehard? What? Alan Rickman Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Hans Gruber. That's Hans Gruber. Yeah, there's Hans Gruber But Alan Rickman is in the all the movies. Wow. It's a great cast I should see it. You should it's fine in our defense You don't need to see empire strikes back to know who Yoda is or Darth Vader facts. So stupid

No, but he no, that's what high people say I don't need to eat a fucking that burrito because it's like any other burrito. That's not true. That's not what he's saying He's saying at all. We understand what we need to know to get by. It's like you with English. You know what I'm talking about No, man, that's ridiculous All the fans out there boy, oh boy, am I glad to be back on this fucking show And I want to say this we're gonna say goodbye to our guest because he's got to go live a life Okay, and so what time out time out time out this wednesday in two days lefty sun is out on youtube Go watch this fucking special on youtube. We should link it in the description boys

So they can go click on that easily and watch this fucking special. Please and spread that So on my youtube It's on his youtube ryan sickler ryan sickle on all social media subscribe to my podcast the honey do thank you both for Do it give him a kiss for the mic Love you. You know, I love you did I do so much. I'm so sorry what happened to you. Thank you, brother He's alive. Thank you for having me here to support. I love you guys. I love you. I love you. All right. Get out of here We'll talk to you soon You know when I was just in hawaii

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And enter the code bad 2023 don't forget that's bad 2023 for 50% off your first order with door dash When you're in australia Do you just hold in all your com or Huh say say that question again What do you need to know when i'm in australia do I hold it in yeah, because you have to what you think down under I can't I can't just rope one out Oh, do you do rope it out? You don't think I don't master me. I know some people like steve. Oh, they're like, I know I saved it for a year

Well, that was that strange He did like a year of celibacy Or he wanted to do that as a testament to his addiction to see if he could do that as like a I think that's what he said Yeah, no, I mean what the fuck the first day I got to australia I cried and I jerked off on the couch You know what's so funny my patio face like five other patios And sadly I was so lonely for the first week because we didn't film yet and I was there without any meeting any cast members Yeah, I was hoping someone would like see me a little bit. Oh really just to be like I was jerking off like at the window on the couch all right through the window. Well, I just wanted someone to go like this

You know, it's all right, right, you know, but you know what I had a discussion with with Oh with our buddy brian jarvis one of the writers of the movie who's one of the such a fucking funny dude And jarvis and I were talking about I have a funny story about brian jarvis We're gonna tell in a second Okay, but jarvis and I were talking about that about how like people can see you and all these windows face other windows So there's no privacy and they have to close the curtain then it feels weirder when you jerk off sad in the dark So I said, yeah, I sit on my couch and no one can really see me You know like maybe kind of or whatever and he goes

You know what's so fucking funny about that all of us kind of want to be seen a little bit right a little bit Yeah, because like he goes there's a girl that would leave You know, she would be like changing and she knows people can see her But she leaves the blinds open on purpose because she kind of wants to be all of us kind of want to be seen You know, it's like in new york You kind of want someone to see you a little bit because even if they're like look at that guy's small dick They can't say it to your face. That's they can laugh in their apartment alone. Yeah, but I don't have to hear it Yeah, no

I might give them a little piece of laughter during the day They see my little red penis and they might you might have a cup of coffee and go And they might make his morning. Yeah me with my little red penis on the couch Give him a laugh in the car. Do you pick your nose and eat it? I don't pick my nose Okay, and you shouldn't eat it. Oh, okay. Do you do it? Can I just say something I discovered the other day Carlos and don't try it Why do you have to have a warning? I know you're gonna try this. Okay, but I'm gonna tell you something I discovered

I know you're gonna try it. All right. What's this gonna make me sick. It's gonna be sick. Okay, so Good we haven't had enough gross shit on this pile. All right. I will say it then not please Yeah, you discover you uncovering discard Discard, huh? You discover you uncover discard. You figure it out. I'm just saying it right now your boogers Yeah, but boogers I don't eat them By the way, I will throw that out there. You know, I bet we can rewind the tape right now from like the 12th episode and I we talk about you eating your boogers. Why stop? Oh, you oh you kick the habit until I discovered something new

Wait Have you faded through your nose? No, you hold it a sit and Oh and it dehydrates all your boogers. No, it flavors your it flavors your I don't even know if I'm happy to be back right now I'm gonna try it. You know, you're gonna try it, right? But don't do the first one Same one. You don't want to do 15 different flavors up there. Yeah, right. Just do one mango Oh, there's always a good one. You flavor your booger

I just like one day I was watching star trek. I was alone on my iPad and I was through my nose And I go and I remember the smell still being in my nose like Hmm. My whole sounds mango smells mango-y, right? And then and then you know the light bulb If the two of the nose, you know is like mango-y, right? Maybe the boogers never didn't do it right away Still watching the new star trek and I was like It's like a mango Don't all right doesn't I'm in so everyone at home, you know, if you do vape don't you're gonna try it don't why?

Why would you teach people to vape? I feel like people don't eat the boogers is because it's salty Right, it causes high blood pressure salt and this and that you know what else it is, dude It's fucking gross. It's not just a salt. It's insane. You shouldn't eat your boogers. You're gonna try it Carlos Probably Tell me the Brian Jarvis story that you want to tell me Oh, well, you know, he's sober. He's a great guy. Yeah, and um, you know, I remember back in the day when He was loaded You know and I used to work at the one-on-one cafe. Yeah, you mean loaded by the way. He means

On shit not rich. Yeah, he was on shit. I know I know the word loaded And he's like one of those guys that like you always looked at him and you want this guy is just talent She's so fun. He's so naturally funny. So funny, right? And then I remember one day I go, you know what? You know, I'm in a I want to take you to a meeting. He's like, all right, man Dangling me, right? And I remember driving down the street. He opens up the door. He just jumps out in the middle while I'm driving I see him roll and he's just running the other way. I swear. How fast are you going? I was he was a residential area So I was going maybe 20 miles per hour. I know but he just jumped out rolled and sort of run I looked him in my rear view. I was like, what the fuck is he doing? Right? And eventually I got him in a meeting

Yeah, but it was crazy. That's that's my memory of Brian Jarvis So when I found out that he wrote the he did punch ups on the movie or rewrites So the the movie was written a long time ago and then it was rewritten for a few times So Jarvis and his partner Jim did the most recent version. You know what I mean with Pete because it's funny. I've gotten a lot of calls From producers that want to do a movie with us. Yeah. Well, what the fuck Jarvis, right? It would love to he would Let's just do that. I'm so down have Jarvis write it. We got to give him some concept to write though We can't just be like write us a movie. Andre's is gonna be pissed. Well Andre's is gonna be he's got a baby now He's confused and also by the way. Yeah, we don't speak Spanish. We don't that's gonna be a tough script for us to fucking read

Yeah, you know, uh, by the most by the most. I don't know. I don't know what Balamos even I don't know it either Stop. No, listen, Andre's can have a hand in this but the guy's gonna be too busy. Also produce it. Yes Yeah, he had ideas. You're just worried that you're cut out. What are you talking about? Yeah, you fuck your eagle gone the way No, you're projecting right now. You had a year with this project dude. Nothing. I wrote a script 18 months ago But now the bad friends script. Yeah, I wrote bottoms of Turtle Island. Oh, did you really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know Yeah, it is pretty good. We definitely can't make it It's just not makeable. Yeah. Yeah, it's good, but it is good. It's just not makeable I mean and I'm sad now that Magnum's over. We're not gonna be able to do an episode of Magnum

You bastard man, don't even bring that up man. Wait, why I'm serious. I wanted to do an episode with you What do you mean? They wrote an episode for you. Yeah, dude. I fucking couldn't do it. I know. Yeah, I was in Australia Hollywood Is Magnum not Hollywood? It is. Yeah, also by the way, it's about I know also all the comments Kirk Fox did it Oh, he's so good. Yeah, he's better than me. What do you fucking find? That's great. He's a better actor It was fun. Well, that's worth it. Yeah. Yeah all the comments that say I'm more Hollywood is so comical to me because You know, he's worked with the same level of like stars But they do that because they placate his little ego and it's so annoying They're like, oh, is that T-Rosway hot boy? How you do the same kind of shit that I do

You do the same thing you do tv and film me do all sorts of stuff Yeah, I know but you hang out with them afterwards. I don't I cut the line No, you know why no, they don't you don't cut the line. I do you don't cut the line They go hey, they go hey, you want to go up? No I cut the line and you know what they go. Oh cool He's been sitting in the corner eating his mango boogers At this restaurant No shit

Yeah, I will say I will say this I did get to eat kangaroo and hang out with sena and john is one of the He's such a nice guy. It's like a new level. He loves you Are you being real? He remembers I called you and we talked about I talked the same day. I called you about because come on. Tell me more See He does remember the sketches because he said he made the comment about you know, us together Yeah, it was very complimentary and was super nice about and then he said, you know I used to do shit with bob and I said, I know bob told me. Yeah, and then we were just talking about it for a while He's a good dude. He's great and talk about a guy that fucking has worked hard for the success

It's kind of crazy. It's like sometimes you meet people where you're like How do these people fall face first into luck? Yeah with him. It was like you can just tell he's a work. He's a work horse Yeah, he works even when back when when he did mad tv You could tell that he's just they're ready learning and yeah wanting to do it the motherfucker the motherfucker exercises He plays piano during the day to keep piano up He then he practices mandarin during the day to keep all that shit up. Wow dude And meanwhile, I'm you know jerking on my red penis on my couch

It's like I feel like I needed to do so much more when you mean like vaping out of my nose It's terrible when you meet people that do so much. You're like, fuck. I need to be doing more So what did I do? I bought a couple of books while I was there. How many did I read? There's no way you've read How many did I read zero? I swear to god. I bought five. How many did I read you say zero? Will you say Carlos? How many did I read two? How many Bryce? three Hmm I read all five. Damn all you guys. I read all five books. I'll bring him in beginning to end. No, you skip around

No, really what you did? I'll bring him in. I'm gonna bring them in. Are they cliff notes? Are they cliff notes? Well down there, it's cleft notes Yeah, it's just a cleft notes. Yeah. Hey, Mike. They're so fucking nice by the way Let me ask you about australians as a people, right? So nice It's annoying but in terms of beauty Ah Can we talk about that? Well, we can. All right. Would you say that there's a lot of pretty women? But the men are strength. Look the mullet they're theovon. Yeah

Is everywhere. Yeah, he's everywhere. He's king. That's all you see is Mullets, it's mullet city, dude and Carlos's hair. Yeah, you'd be a god They'd build a statue out of this guy. Wow, dude. There's so many guys that have like long flowy hair that are bald Yeah, it's it's a it's a vibe. It's stylish at least the guys. Yeah, it's their style. Which is what? Australian bogey they call bogey bogey. Hey, you're a bogey, right? So what is it khakis or no? No, they don't wear fucking khakis. You know what they look like down there. They look like what we used to look like in the 90s They all wear like super baggy oversized You know like doc martins are

Everyone has doc martins on because I imagine they dress like Panama jack Right with the like the that of a tan vest No, nothing real right like it's an safari hat. No, none of them alligator shoes No, they're like hip kids. They're like hip kid everyone. They look like a fucking cool kid. Yeah, we look like shit They look like cool kids But that was the vibe that was the style was a lot of like mullet haircuts But it looked cool if they styled it looked dope. Obviously, it's not for me or you could do it, I guess You could do a mullet. I've done a mullet before

But it's not really your style. No, it didn't look good with me. That's what I'm saying In fact, I'm getting my haircut Do you mind if I take a haircut before the tour? I was gonna say I think we should shave our heads for the tour I'm really gonna shave my head. I think we should y'all shave our head for the tour shave your head. Jesse's got to do it, too Then yeah, no, I mean Jesse. Yeah, we all have one we all have to do it as a family if she's gonna do it Carlos this took me years I know we're trying to just play your game No, I was thinking about doing like a bowl cut. I love that

You know like like one of those like like the Beatles haircut. An Edgar cut cut. Who's Edgar? I don't know. I just agreed with him. Yeah, but why do you think he doesn't know what he's talking about? Edgar, what the fuck is that? Edgar who what's Edgar and is it called Edgar? Yeah, it's called Edgar cut and it's apparently NBC says Gen Z Latinos are crazy about it The story is that a young fan asked a barber Anthony Reyes to cut and shape a design of a major league baseball player Edgar Martinez. Yeah, Edgar Martinez. I want to look at it right now. Edgar cut. I just told you I know if I want to look what looks Edgar cut. Well, there we go. Yeah, let me look Reyes is no I'm not doing that. So wait a minute this. Yeah, that looks dope. That looks so dope

How about on the ball? Hey, I'll do Edgar then you'll do Edgar. Yeah, I'll do an Edgar You know what I'll do with you. Yeah. Yeah, if you're down we can give each other haircuts on the bus You want to give each other haircuts on the bus? No, I'm not doing no no no no I need a trim a tiny. No, I can't no I want to go to a professional guy and do it I'm gonna get an Edgar cut. What's the fun in that go into a guy who does hair Let's go. Let's give each other cuts on the bus because you're gonna fucking make my scalp and that's the fucking fun of it No, because I get boils. Oh, yeah, a little baby boy. I have little baby boys on the head. All right We'll get a professional. Yeah, but can we do this on the tour? Can we go to a black barber shop and get like fades?

I don't know. Yeah, that's tight. I would love to do that. Also, by the way, we got a shout out from somebody Can I cut going with urban bob or what? No, we can't do urban bob. Why? We can. Yeah, I got a shout out from a guy I'm not gonna say the name, but we got invited to go to like one of the highest and Diamond stores to go get like iced out. Oh, wait, you and I did and now we did in Houston I'm not gonna say where we'll talk about it later. Oh, so what does iced out mean? Go diamond. Should we go get fucking ice like I like diamond chains? I don't know. We'll figure it out. We don't have 20 grand. I don't want to do that. I'll lose it

Let's get grills. I would do yeah. Does that stay in forever? No, what the fuck you take it out? Oh, yeah No, but we it's like a it's like a fucking. What do you call it? It's okay. Yeah, like a retainer. Yeah Yeah, it's like a retainer and you put it over your teeth Let's get grills. Please. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. All right. Fuck. Yeah. Let's do it. I would love grills grills for the crew How about this? What else do they do? Huh, what who where else can you put diamonds on your body? You can put diamonds No, no, it's like four chains and all we can put diamonds on your forehead. Oh, you can do like one of those indian dot dots Yeah, little yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah little oozy right little oozy did that

I think little oozy vert has a diamond in his fucking face. Maybe I would just do like an eye Oh, your third eye like a third eye, but then blank these out I sew these up right and I'm cyclops. Oh But then I wouldn't be able to see uh-huh, but you could get yourself. You could oh, yeah, it's mango boogers. Munger mango By the way, your new nickname is mango booger mango booger. Internet do it. Internet do it. Internet do it. Internet do it Listen, I was just kidding about that to be honest I never fucking did that take a second I never even tried it dude. It's like, you know, I just threw it out there, man

I was saying science and experiment if sieve it works. It works. I don't know if it does. I've never tried it Look at me in the fucking eye and say yeah, I never tried it. I never tried it. Look at me in the eye Don't look away. I never tried it. Swear to god. No, see? Ha ha ha ha doesn't swear to god. I don't swear to god Why don't never try it? Why don't you swear to god? I swear to god if I think that um, it's real. It's real. Yeah It's real. Yeah. Yeah, if it's real I swear to god, but you know why juicy is in the studio today We should say that for some of our fans. Why because she's on tour with anthony fucking jazz. Oh, nick Dude, this cock sucker steals our fucking sucker. That's our crew. He's a sucker. He's infusing in our crew. Yeah, fucker

Dude, he's lucky. He's so good at comedy. Otherwise, we'd fight him. We should still we should fight him Honestly, I love that guy. I know I fucking that's what it's okay Like if it was somebody else I brought jesse, it would kind of irritate like who I don't want to do this I don't want to do it right now I don't want to do it get in trouble. I don't want to do it right now. Just say size Um, okay, how about this? What if paulie took her out because I think well paulie does right the paulie does bring her All right, so how about what if what if oh, we're gonna get thought names No, I could do it. Throw out a name

What if Who would take her out that would annoy you? What if griffin took her out? For ten that would laugh you'd laugh. Why why I would just laugh That would laugh. Come on. Juicy. No, I would go to juice and go really you want to do this Would that if she if he took her out, would you not let her back on this show as a punishment for a week at least? Oh I would make it seem like we're done with her right and then bring her back later Oh my god, right because that's a little if he asked to uh-huh that's betrayal. That is he's too close to us too close

Yeah, too close. Um him or in fact any of our friend circle. No, yeah, right? If it's somebody we don't know like dr. Drew Fine. I love dr. Drew. You know man. She could open for him. What if maron like maron? I'm fine. That's interesting though. It is an interesting one because he could he might that is kind of like Her vibe, you know what sickler said about her that I thought was very nice and he didn't say when we talked He goes, you know, the reason that she's such a good fit. She has such a great disposition She's like such a positive fucking vibe. No, she's not just she's such a good one of the greatest people I've ever met I think in my life. I'm honestly she doesn't have a bad bone in her body. She's just really just Well, look, she's a great comic is with the a that a a the first thing good great comic

But then like her mood her thing that thing I can't describe So she won't talk bad about anybody. No, she doesn't want to feel about this person. She won't do it She go another whatever. Yeah. Yeah, and you go. Yeah, but they really good girl. They talk shit about you and she'll go That's a bummer and then she move on Meanwhile, if I said that about you if I say, you know who talked shit about you you're like Oh, it's the korean side that is and you know what that's not your fault. It's a cultural thing speaking of koreans go watch beef on netflix Oh beef just came out. I know I see the billboards. I haven't seen it just came out. Yeah, you're happy with it I haven't seen it. Yeah, they did a premiere. I couldn't go because what was working was really good in it

He is yeah, steven yon alley wong Young was it? Yo, there's so many good people in that you're on it. I'm in it, but I'm not really in it You'll miss me if you watch it. You wouldn't even know I'm there. Really? No, I mean also They you know, I couldn't go to the premiere because I just got back from Australia. I was working Yeah, and then I you know got asked by a few people like why wouldn't you go and I said have you seen the fucking pictures online? What do you mean? It's it's fucking 37 asians. Why would I be the one dickhead like hey? I already have that. It's the house party poster. I fucking the only dumb white guy. Hey Wow, wow, I don't need that again and also you want to talk about a moment for fucking people of color or minorities

This isn't all asian show It's it's a I think it's probably one of the first of its kind that has that many main character all asia 100% right So what am I fucking doing there? They should have not invited me. They shouldn't be like you can't come You white fucking devil because they because they want to use the best sunny things. You're great No, no, no, I'm saying for the promotion of it at the at the premiere. It's like I don't need to be there for that You guys it's time to shine. Yeah, what am I going to do also? I'm barely in it. I'm not it's also weird Like I went to burt krischer and whitney's, you know, um only fans roast Screening uh-huh and they're like go in the the line

Go in the fucking um, you know the press line. Oh, right. I'm like, I'm not in it. You're not in it Yeah, please like I'm not doing it. Well because you're not in it. I'm not in it But why would I have to do that if you're in it? It's definitely I'll do it if I'm in it, right, right? So it's like but that's the other thing why I wouldn't do anything. I mean, I would promote it online I promote posted about it, but it's like me going to the premiere even if I could I wasn't here But even if I could it's like This is not for me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like it's for them. It's for steven and Koreans love you

No, I love them too. We love you, you know, I know but I'm just saying carlos. He's nodding off. He gets me I'm saying I'm not nodding. Yeah. Why are you nodding off? No, I was just thinking because he's not he's using again He's fucking nodding off dude. I've seen him do it three times today. You're fentanyl Are you fentanyl again? I mean just no I'm at one milligram of fentanyl because I saw on the bus ads that it takes two to overdose So you need one. See he's half dosing. Are you being real man? No, of course not We're gonna keep we're gonna keep a title what beef is that a hundred percent on rotten tomatoes. That's amazing. Yeah, that's great That's not because of me. It's fucking good. Those guys are so good in that thing, dude

Honestly, when I when I saw some of the scenes I wasn't in just like watching. I was like, it was gonna be a fucking good show Yeah, it's great. It made a little jealous. I wasn't Korean. What you're Imagine being the only white guy on a Korean show. That's how good you are as a white I know but they used to they would throw stuff at me at lunch Oh, really? What all the koreans? That's rice. It doesn't hurt But handfuls of it hurts. Oh, I see and it's not wet rice. It's hard. It's hard. It's uncooked rice, right? And and they go lunch is ready white devil and they would hook rice at me Yeah, and then honestly, yeah, they would they'd make me take off my clothes and wear tidy whiteies

I had to wear tidy whitey underwear. Yeah, that's a wardrobe set So I never wore boxers and they were tidy ways and they would hit me with rice And then I had to eat it raw and pick it up one by one Like have you ever been on a set where it was all Asians probably not that was probably the first Set you've ever been out like that's like that. That or the jet leaf film I did No, that was that was the only time I'd know and you know what it was fucking You know what's fascinating about that show not like I need to not plug in the show But like it was such a great perspective of like what it's like feeling

Like a young korean america in los in los angeles and the culture and the subculture that existed in their world Particularly because we weave in and out of religion and they talk a lot about like going to church in it And these church people and to see that as a kid who not not a church guy, but I saw white people do that in our world And I was like this is cool to see the perspective of a korean church because how how serious some of them take it Because some of the koreans in church. That's like holy fucking shit. Yeah, I might start going That's like some white shit the way that you guys are with church is like some white people shit Yeah, and it was cool as fuck to see beyond the fact that sunny made an amazing show I'm just saying perspective wise it was cool to watch another culture's perspective on

Things that we could also compare to and go. Oh, wow. That's fucking that's sick. Yeah, yeah It was dope. The show is fucking good. Go watch it's an important show. It's 100% I think it's important 100% 100% god bless asians man. Good people. Yeah great people We're the best not the best no chance. I know we're good. You're up there. Oh, we're up there. You know who goes first Let me guess In terms of Asians or just white people. Oh people just people redheads not redheads. Uh-oh your last Uh-oh. No, we're not last. You're second to last close. Yeah. Yeah, we'll be third or second to last. Yeah. Yeah White people black. Oh for sure. Yeah, I'm black. Yeah. Yeah, blacks are the best. They're the best

Well, they yeah, they're the best. Yeah, and then Asians are so good Asians. That's weird What last night go ahead You smell someone that smell really good. Well, Dave Helen brought me up. I love Dave and he always hugs me. Yeah, and I smelled them Wow Yeah, yeah, it's like the sweet, you know, sweet sweet smooth. It's like they're cigarettes What the fuck are you? I don't like cool sweet smooth. Yeah, smooth smooth. Okay black people so slick. They smell That sounds racist. Yeah, it does. It's not it does. How is slick bad? Slick always is a term of like oh, look at this guy. He's fucking thinks he's slick like cool cat cool cat. Yeah, right

Like 1970s I smelled them. I was like and I want to go Like he left after because I went up after him. I want to go. How do I get that smooth? You have to have another life and he's like nah You'd be like nah. No, not for you. Yeah, not for me. I'm more, um, pungent Yeah, is it good? Yeah. So if he's sweet smooth, yeah, yeah, you're pungent rough No, I'm you know, um You know what it's like stale fruit You stale fruit. I'm stale fruit. What am I? Oh, you're um

Dry wood old baloney dried wood actually is exactly what white people smell like dried wood dry wood. Yeah. Yeah. What about Carlos? What about uh, mexicans, um Fuck that's a hard one. Oh mexicans. Well, he's different because he's like an imposter mexican He's not one of the ones that we love like this guy. You know, this guy doesn't make a papusa. No fucking way I can't make papusa. No, that's what I'm saying. It's like he's a fucking phony mexican I would order papusa. See though. See yeah, like a fucking white. Yeah, I'll order papuza's fucking white Um soccer ball bean

No, I'm trying to find what do mexicans smell like to you. Um laundry That's good. Yeah, launder. They always smell like clean laundry. Yeah. Yeah every neighborhood I go to yeah on the east side Smells like laundered frijoles. London frijoles. Yeah. Yeah, what? Is that offensive? No. No, it's kind of like right on. We're kidding. We're all kidding. We're all kidding for fuck's sake internet Yeah, I want to take this time Well, you sip your water to thank you so much for holding down the bad friends family fort you Bryce george fancy carlos Thank you for holding on this and you did it when I was gone. You've done it always done it

You know, that's we help each other. We got to keep this thing going. This is the bad friends family Yeah, and I'm serious when I say this I can't I seriously genuinely can't wait for people to see what we've got planned for the tour And the live show you're gonna get stand up from both of us You're gonna get stand up from juicy You're gonna get bits live bits interactive bits that carlos is working on now Audience members when you show up, this is phenomenal. This is the first time we've talked about it There is going to be a code that they can sign up to be members of the physical live show to come on stage Perhaps to maybe interact with us to maybe get another slice of being a part of the best friends family

100 so we've worked on this. We've got a way to do this. You are going to be involved doing great bits from the show Bobby is going to play music sign your waiver to please sign your waiver. I also um want to say something that um It's very difficult for me to say but I really um I really do love you and um, you're a real friend and um, you know, I you know, I think about like Kalayla you and people around me

And um, I'm just so blessed to have Just great people that love me. I can feel it, you know, um, I haven't had the best month of my life, you know, and it's like, um You guys are just really there for me and I really appreciate it. I love you so much. I love you so much. And you know what? It's so hard for me to say. I know so hard. I know, you know It's like giving Hitler a high five You know when he's doing this and Yeah, it's really hard, you know, but you did it. Yeah, I did it because I'm your gerbils Yeah, you you know, you you look at your life and you go you look at the people around you and it's like

Oh, I know I have love and support and you never think that You know about your life, you know, um But when you do it's touching, you know, and I get emotional about it. Well, I love you and thank you and you know what? What thank you for being a bad friend Now when you get annual bleeds, you know, you would think you would want white ones white ones No, you'd think you'd want the ones that don't show anything. No, you want to see what the change of the color For me, I want the change of the like a mood ring Mood beads mood beads like we should make mood beads

But I want it white so that you can know how clean you are. That's cool that I do I understand what you're saying Okay, good, but I think the mood bead one is better. Do you think so? Well, because when you Then you're like, is everything okay? All right, you seem you're surprised Your booty's moody. Yeah Oh, yeah, someone's feeling cheeky