Bad Friends - Toilet Water Waddle

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Starting point is 00:00:17 See the app for details. Hey, we're going back to tour. All right. We're going to be in Rochester, New York. Yeah, then we go to Cleveland, friends. We're going back to tour. All right. We're going to be in Rochester, New York. Yeah, then we go to Cleveland, Ohio. Then we're in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Two shows. First show is sold out.

Starting point is 00:00:31 The second one still needs some people out there in Pittsburgh. Let's go September 16th. Boston, Massachusetts. Then we play Boston. You know what we are in Boston, we're at the Green Monster in Boston. We're at Fenway. Fenway.

Starting point is 00:00:42 Shocks play. Then we go to DC. Our founding fathers would love us there. Iocks play. Then we go to DC. Our founding fathers would love us there. I love it. Then where do we go? Denver, Colorado, your hometown. Yeah, no, I'm not from there.

Starting point is 00:00:52 I'm from Chicago. I do love Denver. You love it. Then we're in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And then we're in my hometown, Chicago, Illinois. Chicago, Illinois. Where the creature lives. That's right. In Chicago, theaters, you can come and smack you.

Starting point is 00:01:01 And then Minneapolis, Minnesota. And I'm going to give her hugs. And we finish it off in Madison, Wisconsin. Minneapolis and Madison, Wisconsin. Did she come here? Yes she is. I'm gonna give her hug. And we finish it off in Madison, Wisconsin. Minneapolis and Madison, Wisconsin. She go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Where? At badfriends.com.

Starting point is 00:01:12 Badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo. I do. You and Asian.

Starting point is 00:01:21 You two are disgusting. I'll you two or something. You two are disgusting. I'll use you to something. We're bad friends. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it.

Starting point is 00:01:37 Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. That's Trump on the indictment. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. That's Trump on the indictment. Yeah, yeah, never got to get it. Never got to get it Like if you're gonna know mug shot, which what what mug shot would you do? My would be like this. It's gonna be my life. Let me see your mug shot Oh, you know, that's this is my mug shot. Yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, that's this is my mug shot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:05 Yeah. Yeah. You have you've never been arrested. Yes, I have. You have a mug shot. I don't have a mug shot. I don't know what dictates getting it on the internet. But where did you get arrested? It was I was in college. I got arrested. I don't care. Really? What it doesn't count. It doesn't count college. How does college not count? What do you mean it doesn't count? I'm an adult, I'm over 18.

Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah, but you're practicing to be an adult. I somewhat agree with the statement. That's true, actually. Yeah, you haven't worked out the kings. By the time you're 21, 22, then it's... When do you work out the kings? Are your kings worked out? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:38 At 45. You think all of your kings that worked out by 45? Do I have a mug shot? Do you? No. You're saying people that have a mug shot didn't work out the king? Yes.

Starting point is 00:02:47 Oh, so you think? We got your kings, dude. I'm kinked out. Yeah, I know. You're already kinked out, dude. But when I was 19, no, I was kinked. It's so many kinks. Really, you're riddled with the kings.

Starting point is 00:02:57 Kinked up. Yeah, you're kinked up. I got arrested when I was in college twice, once for I was looking for myself, sorry. I was, you have a mug shot? Yeah, from a couple of years ago. Well, look, keep finding it. Let's find it.

Starting point is 00:03:09 I want to find yours. I got arrested for, um, fighting in public. And then I got, uh, you're anating in public. Pissing outside of a bar. And they made me go to like sex, sex, sex ed classes. Whoa, why? Well, because they could register you as a sex offender if your genitals are out.

Starting point is 00:03:24 Are you being real? Yeah, I mean, obviously, I mean, I mean, I should, I had 52,000 fucking months of death. Trust me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been battling them away every city we go to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually hard for us to deal with.

Starting point is 00:03:36 I mean, no, but I got urinating in public and I had to go to one of those, oh, you know what I had to go to, dude? A class that do you why guys have to go to? Oh, I love those ones. And the stories were horrific. Yeah. Like I they were they would do they would literally be like, I'm sure you should this is at meeting. Sometimes you experience this where the guys are like,

Starting point is 00:03:53 yeah, I was I would get blacked out drunk for a thing in the morning. Well, I fed my kids breakfast and then drove them to school in the morning. Yeah. And I would hit stuff on the way home. And then I'm like, I was pissing outside of an Irish pub. Yeah. It's like, why am I here? I know a guy in AA, he shared that he was a school bus driver. Uh-oh. What? And he was blacked out drunk. Blacked out drunk. Yeah. I think it was like elementary school kids. Weren't they all when we were kids? Right. But he drove off a canyon. And what? They all died. Except for him. Yeah, so he lived. Yeah, it Be is all he's a people pop up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What happened was I drove up. I think I

Starting point is 00:04:33 Need to I'm kidding. I made that up. Okay. Good. Yeah. But also I don't why do I saw you back pedal it because I go big drove off a cliff and he lived and you're like he lived I know everybody's like he's the first guy to probably go. No, but there was a wait What do you mean? There's that girl? Look this up that girl that just got sentenced to two consecutive 15 life sentences to two Two oh the girl that goes I don't need to go to college. No. Oh, is that the same girl? We're measuring like I gotta go to I don't know what I gotta go to class like Right, no, this is Mackenzie Sharilla. Yeah, drove a hundred miles an hour into a brick wall killing her boy. It was her boyfriend

Starting point is 00:05:10 and his best friend. She lived a hundred miles an hour into a brick wall. Let me guess. Huh, she was fat. That's right. No, no, no, no, look at how skinny and small. No, she's a tiny little girl. That's her. Whoa. Two life sentences. She got into a fight with her boyfriend and this fucking lunatic drives her car into a brick wall with his best friend in it. 17, she was drunk. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:32 Has it worked out her kinks? She's full of kinks. She's full of kinks, dude, right? And one of her kinks was killing her boyfriend. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. So I guess the rumor was they got into a fight. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:44 And she's like, I'll take this into my own hands. But how do, Jesus, Jesus, take the wheel. Yeah, but how do they prove that? Because this is it. If he's dead. It's actually interesting you say this. Yeah. Well, there's proof that they were on a fight

Starting point is 00:05:59 via the text messages that they brought up in court. Still, it's like. And then they can prove her motive because these cars all now, every car now, they've got these computers, right? On board computers I can tell when you break, how far you break, how fast you were going. Yeah, there's no break.

Starting point is 00:06:12 And you sped up before she hit the wall. You know, break, uh, if she was drunk, was she drunk? No, I don't think she was drunk. If she wasn't drunk then that's not. No, I don't think she was. I don't know why drunk came into my mind then. Well, you would assume she had a brick wall going 100 fuck hell now.

Starting point is 00:06:23 So she wasn't drunk. No, I don't think so fucking shit didn't break you know that's it But they didn't she didn't break and she sped up the car register. She hit the fucking gas. Yeah, and then they hit the wall Now when you read would she gonna coma or did you she realized she was still alive? No, I think she's she was fine right away Yeah, I would take charge and oh and kill yourself. I mean I mean, you really? Because her intention was to kill herself as well, right? Sit down.

Starting point is 00:06:51 What's on your forehead, Rudy? Rudy just walked in and she's got his head in. It's one of those feet. No, this is a new pimple sticker. Carlos uses these two. Oh, yes, I'm pretty sure. There's a new thing. So Carlos is a teenage girl, by the way.

Starting point is 00:07:03 But he used one too. He is a sticker to put on a pimple for how long? All day. All day. And all night? You can do all night all day. Why don't you do the star? Why does it look like a mole?

Starting point is 00:07:16 It's a poo. It's a piece of poo? Yeah. Oh, you got the poo design. Yeah, poo design. Blend it in with your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As I can see it.

Starting point is 00:07:26 Yeah. Wait, this is so interesting. This is the hip way to cover up blemishes. So you're not as embarrassed. Yeah, that's fine. No, they were, because I use this, you don't use the stickers? I've never used this. Oh, they're the best.

Starting point is 00:07:38 No. Those stickers work. But I don't get pimpoles anymore. Well, then there you go. I mean, I had my fun. It already got me here. But you have one. Where is it? What's this? No, that's it. I've had I mean I had my fun. It already got me here. But you have one.

Starting point is 00:07:45 I mean, where is it? What's this? No, that's it. I've had this since I've known you. It's a birthmark. I thought it was a forever pimple. A pimple? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:54 You think I got pimples? By the way, I do have a pimple right below my right butt cheek. It's been there for so long. You put a sticker on there. No. Why? I'll do it. I let it rock.

Starting point is 00:08:03 Okay. He's got his own personality. Okay. That's concoose What is it? Concoose? Is it with concoose? Yeah, I wouldn't be concoose. He's Spanish. I'll let you know someday anyway. He's a good guy. Rudy Jules is back in the house What's in the tote bag? What did you bring for us? Nothing straight from school. No from work Work and school someone's growing up and now she came to her other job

Starting point is 00:08:26 Let's see what's inside open it up. This is my emergency bag. What's in the emergency bag? Okay, what could be in there tampons. Yeah, good. Yeah, yeah Face spray. Yeah for what do you mean just like miss rosemary? Yeah rosemary rosemary nice Yeah, you know Allegra allergies. Yeah allergies. Yeah Tylenol Okay, that's enough. No, no, I finished the stuff. We are Perfume circus clone

Starting point is 00:09:02 Another allergy Streamer a rabbit The two things I love those floss. Yeah, those are the best floss picks. Yeah, yeah, wait. There's more. Oh my god spree. I don't have Why that should be all those cosmen still look good and nothing to thwart off from the criminals I have a taser though. Okay, go. Can we see? Yeah, not here. I forgot it. Oh, that's always gonna be good. Yeah. And then I have a gun, but I never have it on me. What's right for you? When you put it? It's poopery. We have that at the house. Okay. That's it.

Starting point is 00:09:37 That's it. Yeah. Very good. I don't have a bag. Deal a bag. I never care. You, you actually used to carry Fanny packs and bags, I don't carry anything at all. Yeah, but it's all this stuff. This is my wallet, this is all I have. Yeah, that's it, I have nothing on my clothes. I have this. Yeah, you're never gonna fall. You can't get anything from me,

Starting point is 00:09:54 you're never gonna smash and grab me, there's nothing on me. You do, I'm gonna see something to you, you have a talent, you have a gift for my friend. What is it? She's the best cleaner person. You finally cleaned up all the cap you can poop? You're better than Mexicans, and I don't say that.

Starting point is 00:10:08 Wow. All of them? All of them. Wow. That's pretty big. They're amazing. I would put my lady up against her any day of the week. I bet you're better at like jumping fences than Mexicans do.

Starting point is 00:10:20 Or going on to them. That depends on how creative you are. Yeah, I think you're Mexican. You're ultra-mexican. I want to be Mexican. Yeah Good. She's so good and you can be anything you want to be. You know what she does. Can I tell you what she does? That's special. Okay So you know for me My toothpaste the tip of it always looks like you know A volcano erupting. Yeah, you know, I mean it always looks like, you know, a volcano erupting.

Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just like, coagulated and fucking, you know, I mean, it jumped out. Where like the fucking, it won't even come out. Right. Right the pace.

Starting point is 00:10:57 Yeah. It's clogged. She clogs it. Wow. And you clean around it, huh? Yeah. She cleans around it like it's a brand new little tip. Let me just guess.

Starting point is 00:11:05 Go ahead. Let me guess. You're one of those guys who doesn't push from the bottom. You squeeze from the middle. Yeah. Definitely. The 100%. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:14 Oh, why? It's so funny. Why is it funny? It's just there's two kinds of people. Somebody squeeze in the middle and some push from the bottom. Yeah. When I jerk off, I squeeze from the middle. And I push from the bottom.

Starting point is 00:11:22 I know you do. I hold my nuts in. And that's why women go blind Because that's why your wife has infections in her eye. Well, first of all Did you go from the bottom you got to go from the middle? She's got an infection one of her eyes We always fix one and you get the other one. I understand right right but when you do when you jerk off from the middle right It drops down less can happen right less trouble. Yeah less trouble, dude. It's a smaller wave It's a big smaller wave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all with this. Yeah, you squeeze from it. Let's see what else is like this

Starting point is 00:11:49 When you put toilet paper when you run out of toilet paper You don't put it back on the on the raft you just put it on a counter on the side or something. I don't put it I don't have toilet paper Right I do this I look oh you only but day you don't pat pat pat with your little finger. I do, but it's always, oh fuck. And I do this lot. So you're rattling house.

Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah. My pants down, right? Clean cheeks. Uh huh. You know what I mean, go into the cupboard to get, and I won't even bring the whole thing over. I'll just take it from the cupboard. You'll wipe there.

Starting point is 00:12:22 No, I'll pick a pack. You go all the way back to the bathroom with a wipe. And then if I wasn't enough, I do the truck it from the cover you'll wipe there no Go all the way back to the bathroom white and then if I wasn't enough I do the truck back To the cover pants on the ankles wobbling around well, that's who I am toilet water is dripping out of your ass I'll tell you another thing, right? Peanut butter, dude. I love it. What do you mean? It's so good? What do you mean peanut butter dude is the. What do you mean? Peanut butter dude? Is the best. I enjoy it.

Starting point is 00:12:47 T.J. Miller has a great peanut butter. T.J. Miller makes peanut butter. You don't know that? No. He has the best peanut butter in the business. What is it called? He has variety, is it? That's T.J. Miller, the stand-up comedian,

Starting point is 00:13:00 has chocolate, cherry, peanut butter. Bro, I won't eat any peanut butter, and let's TG Miller brand, my friend. Are we reading an ad for this? No, I'm not reading an ad. I don't even want to talk about it, because I want it to be a senior. Peanut butter?

Starting point is 00:13:12 It's the best peanut butter in the market. Why would it be? Because he puts stuff in there that you wouldn't think that peanut butter there should be. Toffee. Give me an example. Like cherry, dry cherries.

Starting point is 00:13:24 In peanut butter. Yeah. But I just want peanut butter. Well then you go and get jiffy. No, no, no, no, okay. What do you think I am? Well, what do you get? Jiffy. Jiffy. What's it called? Jiffy. Jiff. Jiff. Jiff. Chewzy moms. Chewz. Jiff. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, what a white phrase. Chewzy moms. Chewz. Yeah, it's a Karen saying that. That is a Karen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What other slogans are Karen slogans?

Starting point is 00:13:51 By men and okay. That's the only one I know. A slogan that I heard. Burger King. Yeah. Have it your way. Yeah. That's Karen.

Starting point is 00:14:03 That's a Karen. What's target slogan? What is the slogan for target? Target is a general expect more pay less expect more and pay less. That's a little bit of a caron. Yeah. Yeah What else what's Walmart? What's Walmart catchphrase? I feel like I don't know any of these catchphrase me We either. Save money, live better. Do you know why? Because back in the 70s, right? Rice, Aroni, a San Francisco treat. The San Francisco treat.

Starting point is 00:14:32 They used to have music. Yeah. Bye, man. Man, right. It's a song, right? Jingle. These ladies are jingles, dude. Jingle jingles.

Starting point is 00:14:40 These pieces of shit. No jingles. They just write it down. Well, this is a problem. This is why the jingle union is... That's why you guys... Let's come up with a jingle. Do just write it down. Well, this is a problem. And this is why this is why the jingle union is That's why you guys come up with a jingle. Do you guys know McDonald's? Let's just let's let's give one more of a fucking jingle. That's right. He's right McDonald's. Papa yeah love good

Starting point is 00:14:56 I'm Be quit let that what what What? Let's do it. Hahaha. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Love, kato. Lab, kato. Let's all, okay.

Starting point is 00:15:09 Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Love, kato. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. That's in a Philippines, that's like. Love, kato. Love, kato. That means I'm loving it.

Starting point is 00:15:20 I love this. No, no, no. It's the phrases I'm loving it. Love, kato. I'm loving it. I love this. No, no, no, no, it's the phrases. I'm loving it. Love go to I'm I'm loving it. Wait love. What's that? Love okay, you have love is love. Yeah, love love go to what's what she saw. I love the feet. Bara-papa-papa. I love the feet. Not the feet. You have to let me say the toe. Love go toe. Love go toe.

Starting point is 00:15:49 No, the phrase is I'm loving it. You're saying it's I love this? It can be either way. No, it can't. No, it can't. But it's maybe they'll have the fucking words in the throat. Then you don't, then you make up your own song. That's the same company, dude.

Starting point is 00:16:02 Doesn't matter. They don't have the same company. They don't have the same company. They don't have the same company. They don't have it's, maybe they don't have the fucking words in the book. Then you don't, then you make up your own song. That's the same company, dude. Doesn't matter. They don't have the same menu. Yeah. They serve back over there. They have back burgers.

Starting point is 00:16:13 They have a Bat Burger, a double, a double, what is it called, a big, big bat, the big Mac Big Bat? Yeah. Big bat. Get yourself a big bat. Look at the McDonald's and the Philippines menu, by the way, it is different than here. Yeah, what is it?

Starting point is 00:16:24 She knows we've, you've told me before, it's all different. Okay, let's do it in. What's on it? Look at the size of those fries. Look at the, they have a fucking, like a single drumstick. A drumstick with bone in it. But it might not be chicken. Is it bone?

Starting point is 00:16:39 Yeah. Is there a bone in there? It can, there can be bone or there can be no bone. One piece chicken. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I order that and I bite into it, I go can there can be bone or there can be no bone. One piece chicken. Wait, wait, wait, I'll order that and I bite into it and I go, there's no bone. Is that what you're saying? They fucking fuck me with the bone. Eat it so price. Wow. And then sometimes there's a bone. Yeah. What animal is it? It's not a chicken. It's not a chicken. That's a huge bone. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:05 That's. Yeah, it's bat bone. That's a bat bone. Bat bones. Go up a little bit. Let's see what else is on there. A lot of fish. A lot of fish.

Starting point is 00:17:13 A lot of fish and fries. Fish and soup. Fish and soup, right down below. There's a soup one. Spicy Macchicken, McDow and fries. What kind of fish is it? Let's be real.

Starting point is 00:17:23 What is going on? What kind of fish is it? Have you ever real. What is going on? Yeah, what kind of fish is it you've never have you ever had a fish a sandwich from McDonald's? No from Labgatol No, interest, but you know McDonald's are it's like expensive there, right? Is it yeah, how might what do you mean by that? Like what's the price of a burger like the same price is like a house or something? No, like for us there. it's expensive. Like you only go there and you like celebrate. Right, when we went to the Philippines. So if you're fancy, you go to McDonald's.

Starting point is 00:17:49 That's a rich person's restaurant. Kind of, yeah. Wow. We went to McDonald's when we were there. Yeah, we did. And also, the first time I went to the Philippines, I was with her family, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:00 And we were like driving down and we parked and I go, yo, I'm going to go to the Starbucks. And they're like, no, no, no, no, we can't go in there. Oh, they're not allowed. And I go, why? It's the four seasons. They actually, it was like a four seasons. No, no, we can't afford.

Starting point is 00:18:13 Oh, Bob. They go, you were like, I'll pay for everybody. Oh, yeah. You look, I'll buy a Starbucks. But they acted as if it was like for privilege only, right? Yeah. How much would a cup of coffee be there at Starbucks? I don't know. What's the money again? What's the money, right? Yeah. How much would a cup of coffee be there at Starbucks? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:18:25 What's the money again? What's the money, butt? What? What is the money? Pesso? That's. What, it's pesso? You have pesso.

Starting point is 00:18:34 You have pesso, what? Like just like these guys. Yeah, I did. Oh, except you're on the euro now, huh? S gum. Couldn't hold out, could you bitch? Well, we went over there, yeah, it was like fancy. Fancy.

Starting point is 00:18:44 Yeah, but now when you go there now You eat it you drink it. How many pesos is a cup of is like a latte a latte maybe 500 pesos and how much is 500 pesos to a dollar? $8 Wow, that's much more expensive than America. Yeah, yeah, what's a latte here? I don't actually what the fuck I more expensive than America. Yeah. What's a latte here? I don't actually, what the fuck?

Starting point is 00:19:04 I even know I have five bucks, right? Five bucks, right? Yeah. So it's not that much more. Yeah, yeah. I guess I did. But still it's like, but they didn't even go in the building.

Starting point is 00:19:12 Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah. But I forced them. You made them all go. And guess what? Everybody got a cake pop. Starbox? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:20 Yeah. Starbox. Yeah. Out. Out. Out. No hopeless. Right. Yeah. and I was like all right guys I'll get it for you and they waited outside no they're talking to you as well probably that you are homeless that's a funny thing if people in America with money always look homeless they have spaghetti there too how is this spaghetti it's just like it really does gotta be so good

Starting point is 00:19:39 yeah yeah by the way it's spaghetti is from the Philippines. It is yeah. Oh, that's right It is yeah Have you tried Filipino spaghetti to do Andrew have I tried Philippine spaghetti? Where jolly bee jolly yeah, I've never done jolly bee. We've talked about it on the show I'm never gonna order it You end up looking like that guy That guy's a white guy. Yeah, he was handsome. That guy was a white guy.

Starting point is 00:20:06 He was a handsome white guy. The ain't a fucking jolly, me fucking spaghetti. And look what happened. He has John does now. Yeah. It turns out everyone that's eating Filipino food turns out to be a good. That guy.

Starting point is 00:20:14 The Filipino was used to be white people. Tell me this isn't related to someone that you know. Come on. This guy. Look at this guy. Me? Yeah, look at this guy. He's Korean. Yeah, he's pretty Korean. He's Korean Yeah, he's pretty Korean. I was a hundred percent Korean. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god a Korean

Starting point is 00:20:28 I I heard some Korean this morning at the doctor's office. Yeah Because what do you call mom mom mom? Oh, ma yeah, yeah, yeah, and the woman said that to the and the I was in the doctor's office and the the this one Korean woman no less than 112 She I swear to god. I mean, I cannot believe you could see her heart out of her shirt Really she's so fucking old. Yeah, and frail and she's sitting down in her daughter might have been 85 Wow and her daughter was like oh my she like shuffled to the front. Yeah, and she's like too much paper and the woman's like okay You have to fill out all the paperwork. She's like too much with the daughter dead

Starting point is 00:21:04 Yeah, and she handed it back to the woman at the front. Yeah. As if to say, fuck you, I won't do it. It was amazing. I was like, why can't we all be this way? Too much paper. And she literally gave it back to her. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:14 Then goes back and she goes, okay, then miss, you know, whatever, missedly. Go ahead. You have to take her down to the third floor. She has to go get an MRI. We talked about this and she goes, Oma, Oma, and then she's doing some of your Korean jazz. You know, this fucking guy. Chitty-chitty bang bang, Chitty-chitty bang bang, Chitty-chitty bang bang, we love you. Bang bang bang, Chitty-chitty bang bang, Chitty-chitty bang bang, Oma too.

Starting point is 00:21:38 Have some respect, the guy. Okay. So she, so she was, she, she, so she was chitty, chitty, chitty bang bang into her mom. We start with the chitty, chitty, chitty bang bang. And she goes and out of all the stuff, she was like, you know, Korean, Korean, Korean, and then goes, oh, ma, oh, ma, m r i. And the mom goes, no. Not really. Yeah, she said, no. So then she's left. No, she goes, come on, come on, come on. She goes, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:22:07 And then she wheeled her out and I thought, I bet you they went home. I bet you she was like, fuck the paperwork, fuck the MRI. I'm gonna go home. Morgan and Morgan. If I'm driving down the street, I get in a car accident, guess what I'm gonna do.

Starting point is 00:22:20 You're gonna call Morgan and Morgan. I'm gonna call Morgan, why? Because they're the most reliable, helpful, and their America's largest injury law firm. They got you covered. Baby, they have over a hundred offices nationwide with more than 800 lawyers. But not only that, with over $15 billion recovered

Starting point is 00:22:35 for over 300,000 clients, Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. And, bro. Morgan and Morgan are homies. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. That is the way to go. You may be confused. Morgan and Morgan are homies. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. That is the way to go.

Starting point is 00:22:47 You may be confused. You just got no accident. You're on your way to work. And you're like, what do I do now? It's easy, right? It's so easy. What do I do? All you have to do is call Morgan and Morgan

Starting point is 00:22:57 and submitting an injury claim is easier than me looking deep into Bobby's eyes and saying this. Look at me. I love you. It's easier than that. Say it back, say it back, I love you too. If you're ever injured, you guys, a lot of people get in car accidents

Starting point is 00:23:11 and if you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. You heard that, their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepople.com slash bad friends or dial pound law, pound five to nine from your cell phone. That's for the people, FOR the people.com slash bad friends or pound law, pound five to nine from your cell phone. That's for the people FOR the people dot com

Starting point is 00:23:25 Stars bad friends or pound law pound five to nine from yourself. This is a paid advertisement Vietaurs over 300,000 bookable travel experiences in over 190 countries They offer everything from simple tours to extreme adventures and all the niche interesting stuff in between Viator is the place to go to book memorable travel experiences. And we're gonna talk about it. Bobby booked me a memorable travel experience through Viator from my little birthday vacation, which I wanna say thank you. And the fans should know that means a lot to me.

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Starting point is 00:24:27 There's always flexibility that's right support with free cancellation Andrew look at me. Yeah payment payment options Mm-hmm and 24 seven surface. Well, I hope you don't cancel because I really want to do it You too can do this if you're looking to travel and get a great experience while you're out there download the viator app now Usually called viator 10 for 10% off your first booking. One app over 300,000 experiences you'll remember. Do more with viator! Everyone has a story. What's yours? Polo, polo blue, polo red.

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Starting point is 00:25:46 I mean 90. I'm like, Eastwood went to 90. You have a Eastwood vibe. Do you think it's, why? Because we both hate you. You got a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a I see I won't be a member of society anymore. We've talked about this I'm gonna live in complete isolation. Yeah, I'm not gonna be I won't be living in a major metropolitan area Yeah, what happens if you get sick Andrew then I die by the lake. Yeah, I go down to the water and I fall in like a man I believe that Jimmy Carter and his wife are still alive still right now. No, they're not they he died. No

Starting point is 00:26:24 Jimmy Carter still they're in hospice both Both of them are dying together. He's 98 years old. They're dying together though. See this is no way to live But is that romantic? No, if you die, that's your wife. Okay, here here's Jimmy Carter Here's here's wonderful to look at that no disrespect to the Carter family. Here's Jimmy Carter Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck it. Yeah, fuck it, right? No. No, all they're hearing. They're hearing. Uh, uh, uh love Yeah, but you're he's not

Starting point is 00:27:07 No, thanks. You think she's crawling over there There's no teeth. I must feel good You want a gummy? Yeah, yeah, I mean look I You're on the moon You know, you're on the moon. Yeah, yeah. You know, we never went there in the first place. You're an anarchist guy walker. I just don't want to be that old where, look,

Starting point is 00:27:32 I love the love that they have. Oh my god, look at the wife. The commitment and the love. What does she look like? This is like, that's her now. I know, but what does she look like before? Probably stunning. Yeah, what's her name?

Starting point is 00:27:42 Judy Carter, what's her name? I thought we were, we don't know her name. Yeah, what's her name Judy Carter? What's her name? I thought weird we don't know her. Yeah, what's her name? Roslyn Roslyn. Yeah, there's she looks zoom in a young Roslyn Carter. Yeah Yes, still old. Why does he look? That was in 1940. Well, give me the one that they got married. You can see their look at that beautiful. Let's zoom that in Oh, yeah, that's the Roslyn right. That's the the right. We don't answer him. He was, dude. A little bit. I got to tell you. What do you mean? Like a sniper?

Starting point is 00:28:08 Yeah, those teeth are sniping something. Chopper woppers. Yeah, yeah. She was pretty though. She was pretty, yeah, yeah. But look, my point is, dying next to someone you love like this. Little little titties, huh? No, no.

Starting point is 00:28:18 No, no, no, no. Carlos, back to you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, he's so, oh my god. Did you want to go to Taylor Swift's concert while they were here? Yeah. You did, but why didn't you go? It's too expensive. Look at this, you have old money bags over here. Scrooge McDuck, you wouldn't give it, you wouldn't give it her money for the tickets.

Starting point is 00:28:53 No. If she said Tito Bobby, I really want to go see Taylor Swift. You wouldn't give it to her. I could have, when's your birthday? November 9th. She's gone, man. Yeah. The shows are gone.

Starting point is 00:29:02 Yeah. Unless you want to go see her somewhere else. No, I'm fine. Oh, a shows are gone. Yeah. Unless you want to go see him to see her somewhere else. No, I'm fine. Oh, a big fan. I see. She leaves you. No, I don't need to see her. Yeah, but you know, I know of somebody that went to the show in Washington. Nikki Gleaser went to like four or five. Yeah. And but this this person is an average person doesn't have Nikki Glaser funds. Right. Right. So she afforded it.

Starting point is 00:29:24 Yeah. So she had to take this girl that I know had to take a Boss you park and there's a boss filled with screaming eight-year-old girls, you know jam packed in a boss Yeah, you and then you can't even go into the fucking thing for a couple hours. That's like Carlos's dream. Yeah Dude, I'm not into eight-year-old girls. That's insane. Oh nine. Oh So then she then she waited four hours after that because she had to wait for the bus to pick everyone up But the line was so long it was cold and she was shaking and I'm like, is it worth it? I mean I Think it is hi Hi, it's me.

Starting point is 00:30:06 I'm the problem. It's I'm the problem. It's me. Yeah, it'll be worth it. It'd be worth it. I think it's worth it. You know what it is when you're young? Do you remember going to a concert when you were young?

Starting point is 00:30:13 The Pesmo, and I went to it. And it was fucking amazing. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I mean, it was worth it. When you're young, it's worth every second. Yeah. That's why when you get older and you go somewhere, you're like, I'm gonna do this as conveniently as possible.

Starting point is 00:30:25 You're like, I'm gonna make it easy for me to do this. What is this? Behind the scenes footage? No, speaking of concerts, Carlos Santana had an anti-trans rant. Wow, could we see it? Yeah, I can't wait. God made you and me before we came out of the room

Starting point is 00:30:41 and you started believing that you could be something that it sounds good but you know it ain't right because the woman is a woman and a man is a man by the way how funny dude how funny is this ready he's like I don't like trans people. And it's just like the ocean under the moon. Wow. Oh my God. Oh my God. What is he doing? What is it? Why do... Why? I'll tell you why. Wait, what? Just... I'll tell you why. Why does he care to talk about it in the middle of a concert?

Starting point is 00:31:23 What a weird thing to bring up in the middle of a show? Transgender people should stay in the closet, he says. Oh. Oh wow. That's accepting. Yeah. That's nice and warm. But look at his audience, probably.

Starting point is 00:31:37 Old Latinos? Yeah, I mean, there's not like, there's not like a 20-year-old girl that would blue hair, you know what I mean. I don't know if that's true. Carlos Santana transcended a lot of generations. I would argue P. Oh, have you been to a Carl Santana? What I didn't say me, but I said he does transcend generations. I bet I don't know anybody that's what oh dude. I went to the Carlos Santana show Let me think real no, no, nobody I know, but he did but he has been

Starting point is 00:32:01 Let me think. No, nobody I know, but he did, but he has been. No, I've ever met. So who does go? I don't know. That's why I mean, who is Carlos Santana? I've heard of Carlos Santana. No, she doesn't know. She does, that's what I'm saying.

Starting point is 00:32:12 Yeah, but he is a phenomenal guitarist. I mean, imagine her at the concert garden. What the fuck is he good enough of a guitarist to be publicly against trans people? Can we still support him? No, no, no. It's insane. It's insane. Carlos Santana.

Starting point is 00:32:24 Wow. I imagine it told white guys. Is. No, no, it's insane. It's insane. Carlos Santana. Wow. I imagine it told white guys. Is it old white guys maybe? We'll say these guys. Is this kind of like the Jimmy Buffett click? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Is it Margarita Bill type of cats?

Starting point is 00:32:35 Did you look up Carlos Santana's audience? Yeah. Fan base. We'll go to their fan page. I gotta have it. So here's the deal. Carlos is struggling with something of his own. What do you mean?

Starting point is 00:32:47 Why else would he bring it up so adamant what you're saying? Oh, that's interesting. He's going through something. It's an interesting. Nobody would bring that up out of nowhere if they themselves weren't going through something. Like he's literally on stage vocalizing.

Starting point is 00:32:59 A man as a man. You're born a man. Yeah. I mean, seriously, it's like when it's like when someone's like, fucking hate the gaze. And then they go to like a gay, like the one a politician is like, gay people don't deserve to be married. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:12 And they catch them at a fucking gay nightclub at the blow-in three dudes. What's he going through? From team Santana, Carlos Santana, Salvador Santana and Jose Santana released new song. Yeah. Well, there's a fan. And Jajid Khan.

Starting point is 00:33:24 Jajid Khan. Oh. Is was it. There's a fan. And it's a he'd con. Jihad con. Oh. There's Rhonda. She met Carlos and. We met Carlos Santana Cruz out of Galveston, Texas. He sat with my family for a while, just hung out. My husband is disabled and can't walk. Well, that's why he hung out so. Carlos, such a beautiful soul.

Starting point is 00:33:35 My husband is now in ICU and Gainesville. That's so sad. Meaning Santana was a highlight of his life. That's very nice. I mean, no, that's very sweet. Yeah, unless the whole time he met with his husband, he was just like, well, so put these trans people on. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, up. This guy selling fake PS5 saying his son had COVID and died. This is like the scam that you ran on Twitter. I'm still running. Are you making a lot of money on that? Yeah,

Starting point is 00:34:10 I can't get that thing back. You know how many people have literally hit us up and been like, why did Bobby run a PS5 scam on Twitter? I know. I loved it. Well, how do you get a Twitter account back? We got a call Elon. Yeah. And you know what he wrote right there after he said the TransRant? Nobody's perfect. And nobody's perfect. That's such a good last moment.

Starting point is 00:34:33 Anyway. You don't even know who that is. No, I don't. Guess what kind of music do you think it is? Rock. Yeah. Yeah, that's rock. Yeah, it's rock.

Starting point is 00:34:43 Latin rock. It's rock. The songs are probably what's this popular popular songs? I think the popular song has no vocals to it right? Keep going. Oh, I know that. Yeah. Keep going. Yeah, they play that at the disco. Keep going. Yeah, they play that at the disco. And then at the disco. Yeah, literally when you just did that, what's the year? Or you can also couldn't say that.

Starting point is 00:35:11 I don't know what song to do it again. I don't know what song to do. Do you know what song to do? Do it. Do it again. Wait. Wait. Try to do that like the bass, baby maybe because I'm more of a bass guy I need more bass guy any more about that bass yeah he doesn't play the bass I'm doing the guitar give us the fucking song give us a yeah I

Starting point is 00:35:48 The way Yeah, and honestly that was much better than the first time. How did you even pick up on that? I don't I don't know Fancy's is really good. So when you're at the disco, which I don't know what disco you would go to yeah, what disco you're going to Yeah, the Philippines What's it called what's it called? I don't know what disco you would go to. Yeah, what disco you're going to. Yeah, in the Philippines. Oh, dang. What's it called? What's it called? I don't know. Disco.

Starting point is 00:36:10 You go to a place and you don't know what it's called. Yeah, because it changes names every week. No, in every town there's like a festival. Every week. Not every week. Every month. Like every month. Okay. And then there's like a, in like the basketball court. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week.

Starting point is 00:36:25 Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week.

Starting point is 00:36:33 Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week.

Starting point is 00:36:41 Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Not every week. Yeah, so at the basketball court, you guys do disco. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, look at them. So that's you when you're a little kid. And who dances there?

Starting point is 00:36:51 All ages? All ages. That's inappropriate. They should have some separation. Do you kind of say something like this kid is part, look at that guy's like uncoke in the background. The white guy's uncoke stumbled into this party. But when I do my talent show there though. Yeah, you've been there how many two

Starting point is 00:37:07 Two yeah, yeah, the whole place fills up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's they got nothing else to do Also, I bet you there was AC in there. No, it was outside. Oh really? It's literally outside. Yeah, they're fans No, it's I'm sweating down. You dripping in sweat. I'm like in a dry song because you sweat when it's cold in here. I know I'm sweating now. I know. Yeah, yeah. It's sweaty. This is sweaty business. Does anybody have air conditioning out there? Only the rich people. Super rich. Have you ever been in a house in the Philippines with air conditioning? Yeah, her mom's house. So your mom is super rich. Her dad's a lawyer. And so you can't get McDonald's or Starbucks. You fucking hire people hire you guys have air conditioning before like when she grew up as a kid right yeah

Starting point is 00:37:48 She had it there's no running water the showers were like with a bucket. Yeah, right? I still like a bucket shower. Yeah, I do them sometimes in my back You would have to heat up the fucking water. No, we don't even heat it up shower cold 95 all year round Right leave it outside so you do that. Yeah, there's like leaks like 95 all year round. Yeah, right. Leave it outside. So you do that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:04 There's like leaks. Like our house was so small that we had to just sleep in one bedroom and there's like mouse cockroaches, everything. And then the bathroom was so dirty. What's so funny about it? It's Carlos. You can't tell if you're between the cockroaches and the mouse. I mean, I can't believe there's both of them. I just I'm feeling for Rudy, right? Is there a war? Let me add something. There's no war. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny.

Starting point is 00:38:24 So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny.

Starting point is 00:38:30 So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So funny. So okay, what you want to team up? You want to team up? Let's attack this little brown girl. Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Well, I'll take a shit on her face. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, word, but it's train train.

Starting point is 00:39:05 Oh, there's a choo choo train. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? It's like, hey, hey, you want to do train train? Train train, it's an insect. It's an insect. Let's pull the old train train. What is a train train? Oh, really?

Starting point is 00:39:21 Holy. Oh, who's that? That's Bobby Lee Live. Do you call those train trains? Train train. They're so long. It's two trains. Yeah, and then they burn you when they like What do you mean they burn that's it all that is is that's just a fucking Meloppede like that's a millipede never seen anything like I've seen a centipede in a millipede before We have these in the United States. So what does a train train do? They're a to-to they just like have these in the United States. So what does a train train do?

Starting point is 00:39:42 They're a tutu. They just like, oh! Oh, tutu. Oh, autistic kids love these things. Yeah. What does a train train do?

Starting point is 00:39:51 Nothing, but they burn you if they touch your skin. You run that right? Dude, does a train train burn you? Does it burn you? Does a train train insect burn you? I tried it. You tried to, like, there's like red marks on your skin. Well,

Starting point is 00:40:06 they don't do it. Yeah, millipede. See, it's a millipede. There's a toxin that's in millipedes. Oh, I see. We have these millipede toxin, you cause blisters and burns. Wash your skin right away. If you don't think a millipede has emitted any liquid onto your skin, this can help prevent a possible allergic reaction. You might develop the do people use millipede toxins for good? Do people use millipede toxins for good? Cause I'd be curious to know. Whoa, dude. What do you work for Putin? I mean, none of your business.

Starting point is 00:40:32 Why don't you see what happens to the next thing? HB are. Yeah. Wow. Millipede toxin. Is it bet, can you eat it? Food. See, you eating millipedes as food.

Starting point is 00:40:41 So let me ask you something. You have the train trains, cockro and mouse mice mice right what else spiders of course, yeah lizards I like lizards. Yeah, Salimenders. Yeah, you have Salimenders. Yeah monitor lizard the one that I ate. Oh, yeah the monitor I do like monitor. Yeah, yeah, look at looking. Does anybody have to keep any of these as pets? Spiders we like play with it. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:10 So you just will get a spider into the... You get a spider, you put it on a matchbox. So like have like a house. You put a spider inside of a matchbox. Yeah, as their house. And then you play fights with other people who have spiders and like they battle in like a stick What do you mean you?

Starting point is 00:41:27 This yeah, they're like cock fight. Oh my god. What do you do back? Go back up? This is insane. Did you guys bet? Yeah bet so so you put your spider on a stick on a stick on the Other side. Yeah another side and how how do you know that they'll fight? What if they just go up to each other? Okay, well sometimes they don't fight you know why they fight because he trapped him in a fucking box forever and they're they don't know why. Yeah, you put him in a match box, but we feed them feed them. What do you feed them? Drain trains. No, look at this. Look at this. There it is. We have your see They have that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:01 Yeah. Yeah. It's like saying. So this is a cool, this is a thing that a lot of kids do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, and if he tries to web away, they just grab his web and put it back.

Starting point is 00:42:16 Yeah, they put it back. They put it back. Oh, okay. Until something dies. Or some death or someone. There's a hungry hungry. What's that? What's that? That's the matchbox. What's that? That's a matchbox.

Starting point is 00:42:26 That's where you put it. That's a, that's a, that's a MacBook. That's a, oh, so you, you carry a low. Yeah. You can't even bring it in school. You can bring it in school so that you can play with the other students. Wake up.

Starting point is 00:42:41 Man, how if I not go into the Philippines? I know. Right. Look at that. I'm insane not go on to the Philippines? Yeah Look at that. That's insane. I'm a insane. I want to go. I want to see this. I want to see the war though That looks like a fucking spider that'll bite. Yeah. Yeah, so not the the is there kids that die from spider bites? Not that I heard. Yeah, because they don't tell anybody. They want to keep this game going Factor. Oh, you want good? You want delicious? I want delicious. You want great meals?

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Starting point is 00:45:18 Witton and Lublin employment lawyers, bad bosses hate us employees love us man i'm just like money and spider fighting imagine one of those spiders biting a philippine kid that bit spider-man there's not a lot of buildings there so he's not he's a webbing toward like trees and he's just kind of just sped the man sped the man philippines do not have a lot of spiders the ones that do have our mainly harmless even so the philippines is home to a few dangerous species such as the redback and the black widow but is there a deadly insect ones that do have are mainly harmless. Even so, the Philippines is home to a few dangerous species such as the Redback and the Black Widow. But is there a deadly insect that you guys are afraid of?

Starting point is 00:45:49 Like, no. Do you have Lyme disease there or no? Like ticks? They've gotta have ticks. There's ticks, but... There's no such thing as Lyme disease. That's a white people thing. That's us.

Starting point is 00:45:59 Is it real? Lyme disease? Yeah. It's real for whites. But you know what, what do you mean about anything? Oh yeah? Yeah, my back. I think it's the Lyme disease. Yeah, it's real for whites. But you know, what do you plan about anything? Oh, yeah, my back. I think it's a real thing. Yeah, Denge fever. Oh, you have you had that. I've had that. What is I want Denge fever so bad? So it's mosquitoes bite you and then you what do you shit and vomit for like days and days and days and days? Yeah, but you lose so much weight. Look great after what should we get to Denge in here? I want Denge fever so bad.

Starting point is 00:46:24 Why is Bill Gates working on another COVID? Let's get a Denge going over. Yeah. Yeah, but you lose so much weight. Look great after. Should we get some dead gay in there? I want dengue fever. It's so bad. Why is Bill Gates working on another COVID? Let's get a dengue going over. Yeah. Yeah. How about this? What? Rabies? How common is rabies over there? Are you getting bit by dogs? Malaria is a classic. Yeah, that's old school. Yeah, it's old school. Hepatitis has been there. Done that. Yeah. But I do think rabies is wild. In the Philippines Department of Health, epidemiology, Bureau, 55 human rabies cases and deaths. What?

Starting point is 00:46:51 So far this year? That's so many people. 55 people are dying from rabies. I don't know. There's a lot of people there, dude. How many Americans? How many people died from rabies in the United States? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:02 Public health problem. It's a big deal. But in rabies, allow an American. Why you laughing, Carl, is big deal. But in radio, how about in America? Why are you laughing, Carlisth? All these fucking things. Carlisth isn't funny, dude. You didn't go with us to the Philippines. No, I didn't go.

Starting point is 00:47:12 You went, right? That was fun, right? I feel like Carlisth would die in the Philippines. He would put it like that. No, he's not dang it for you. He's got to be glory holes there. That's how we get to thank him. Can you get to thank him from a glory hole?

Starting point is 00:47:23 I feel like I do well over there. In what way? I feel like I do well over there. What in what way? I feel like people just like me in other countries. I just smile and kind of just smoke a cigarette or something. I know, but you know, you know what I just isn't about you. What you know about God. I mean, what?

Starting point is 00:47:38 There's like some sections, sexual shit that he's gonna get involved in. Oh, yeah, like it's not even, it's not far from like bank car, call that stuff. No, they have it there. Oh, they do yeah, yeah, yeah, what they have like lady boys and stuff Yeah, but that's in Thailand mostly right no, they have a lot of lady boys. There's so many lady boys I were you friends with any lady boys growing up yeah, I had a lot anybody in your family was a lady boy No Carlos antenna would have hated that huh, dude. What if your cousins had a Bobby Lee shirt on? Oh hot dog shirt. Oh, yeah Paul. Yeah, Paul

Starting point is 00:48:09 Dude, I was I go to this village where his cousin lives and I sort of got he has a my face on it When I played bass on it right going oh hot dog, but he's out there like doing grout work with it Yeah, you're his work shirt. Yeah, but it was insane. I was like but he's out there like doing grout work with it. Yeah, he was a work shirt. Yeah, but it wasn't say I was at work. I don't know, I always have it. Yeah, well, you know, we fly in stuff for them. They try to do anything at the goodwill.

Starting point is 00:48:31 We drop in boxes. Oh, it's flattered actually. Well, he didn't buy it. Oh, what? Those were, that's that, we give them just boxes of shit. Yeah. What? You know what it is?

Starting point is 00:48:41 You know what it is? You know what it is? You know what it is? No, he went to a special thrift store together. No, you know when they make two different they make shirts for in a championship for sports. They make one for each team in case the other one wins. Yeah. And the other ones go to the Philippines. That's mixed in with the box of mad TV stuff. Okay. A couple of mixology posters. Yeah. All the old all the old bangers that we used to do. Yeah. How many how many rabies deaths are there a year in the United States? I got to know.

Starting point is 00:49:02 I was just pulling up the oh yeah, like loser shirts overseas. Look at this. Yeah, okay. Okay. You know what though? Those to me are more valuable than the winner. Yeah. Anybody can get their hands on a fucking winning shirt,

Starting point is 00:49:14 but it's harder to, they send them to African stuff. Rabies death in humans in US. All right, okay. 89, there were more here. Oh no, no, no, no, that's over the course of 1960 to 2018. Most of dude exposure to bats. Rackage, Wisconsin on the screen. Only 89 through the last 48.

Starting point is 00:49:32 Dude, I can't believe I've been talking about this. What? There is a fucking raccoon that's got some fucking balls. This, I'm in my house. Dude, he's sitting on my fence the other night. I go outside, he's staring on my fence the other night. Yeah, I go outside. Huh, he's staring at me. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:48 Go, go. But why? Get out of here. Come here, come here. You can have him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Starting point is 00:49:56 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The raccoon is a fucking mix. The raccoon is Barack Obama. I know, but. The raccoon is Barack Obama, which I like. Yeah. But my dog, because you don't, you don't feel a dog. If my dog is full black.

Starting point is 00:50:30 Okay, I can't say a joke right there. You can. I don't want to. My god, I'm giving you so much dog. I know, he, I'm literally setting you up for a joke. And for a fan's at home, we're getting censored by, by fancy. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:42 We're trying to give you a good black joke there. I gave it to him right there. All right, so I'll give you the joke. I'll give you the joke. Okay. Are you telling me that your dog is full black? Yes. And the raccoon is half black.

Starting point is 00:50:56 Half black, half white. Half black, half white. Yeah. That's what you're telling me. I like the full black one much more. Whoa. No, what I'm saying is, what you're telling me. I like the full black one much more. Whoa. No, what I'm saying is, what you're saying is, instead of pushing Shu Shuying away the raccoon,

Starting point is 00:51:10 invite him in. What I'm saying is, have you, the dodo bird, right? People have raccoons as pets and they're the cutest little critters in the world. What is a dodo bird? What does that have to do with it? It's a website? No, no, dodo, the dodo.

Starting point is 00:51:24 It's our rescue. Dodo, dodo rescue. Oh, yeah. Not do with it. It's a website? No, no, dodo, the dodo. It's a rescue. Dodo, dodo rescue. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not dodo burg. Raccoons is past, not dodo burg yet. That's usually like in, it's usually illegal and it's like in foreign countries like in Asia or something where it's there.

Starting point is 00:51:38 No, it's only legal in 16 states to own pet raccoons. So 16 of the 50 states said yes. Yes, it's kind of 41 of them. No, fucking way. No them. No fucking way. No way. No fucking way. In this state, you can, they let the gaze get married here. They're gonna not let you have a racoon. Oh, I see the logic. Now, look at this. Texas, Florida, Tennessee, Nebraska, Arkansas, South Dakota, Illinois, my home Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Wyoming, Vermont, New Jersey. Those are the only ones. That's the surprise.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Well, I'm actually quite surprised about Vermont. Vermont. You think that was a Bernie thing? Yeah, that was Bernie loves raccoons. We're gonna have raccoons. So just kill it then. No, yeah, shooting the head with a shot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The other so cute, but they're vicious little fucking animals, but I want you to pull up a clip This isn't this is it's gonna make you cry. Are you ready to get emotional today? I love it

Starting point is 00:52:34 Woman saves raccoon on side of road. Oh here we go This made me cry on tiktok Hold on scroll down scroll down. Hold on. Let me see if I can see her that one right there second video second video You ready to cry? Yeah, go ahead play it full screen and let me cry. Let's get some tunes Okay, well because the music is gonna make you cry. I'm getting horny. Yeah, me too. Yeah, she fucks it It's at the beginning Oh, yeah, and then when she's done then she saves Yeah, it's at the beginning. And then when she's done, then she saves it.

Starting point is 00:53:07 She's trying to save it, but it doesn't know. It thinks it's gonna hurt her. Final other jacket used it, because he was trying to bite her. He thinks she's trying to hurt him, because he already got hit by a phone. Yeah, I know, dude. And he's dying.

Starting point is 00:53:22 Okay. Why can't you do that with your Akun? That's it? That gets me, man. Did you read the last line? No. She said, I like the white part of him, not the black part. That's what she said.

Starting point is 00:53:39 I'm protecting the white part, not the black part. I was thinking that. No, it says I'm just trying to give him some comfort as he passes. Oh, he died? Yeah, dude. But look what it says, just trying to give him some comfort as he passes. And is in this what we all want in this world?

Starting point is 00:53:55 A little bit of comfort as we pass. No. I want to be alone. You want to die alone? Yeah, because if he was stayed on the road, well, you would the one that said, If he stayed on the road! Jimmy fucking Carter, you like laying in the room with his fucking

Starting point is 00:54:08 Diane wife, I'm saying, people want comfort as they pass. But if he was in the road, a truck would have killed him right away. No! He's in pain right now, dude. She's giving him comfort as he passes. You know how much pain is it right now? I can't wait to be there when you die.

Starting point is 00:54:22 Don't... I'm gonna tell you something, when you're dying, I'm gonna get you naked every day. I'm gonna scrub every inch of your body. I'm gonna dry, what is a dry brush? I'm gonna dry brush every part of your body when you die. I'm gonna comb your little hair. I'm gonna wax your little mustache. Carlos, what's that?

Starting point is 00:54:37 I'm gonna teach you blinking language. Okay, more is calling. Okay, because I'm not gonna be able to feel my arm from your legs and be able to talk. We're gonna learn this, okay? Wait a Okay, because I'm not going to be able to feel my arm from her leg to be able to talk. We're going to learn this, okay? Wait a minute, when you're dying. Yeah. Oh, you think he'll last?

Starting point is 00:54:51 This guy's dead in a decade. Ten years max. No, I'm just saying maybe in five years, I get you're going to be, it's going to take you 40 more years to die. We'll live longer than he can't. Why? His behavior, his lifestyle. You know, Andreas will live for a long time.

Starting point is 00:55:04 He's moving back to Spain. Right. She won't be around either. No. See? I'll do blinking language. Right? Sionite. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:55:14 Yeah, yeah. Sionite. Wait a minute. Okay, so listen, if you get to 100 and you're dying, you don't want to be assisted, you want to just die on your own. Cause I'm doing that. I told you. I'm jumping in the lake.

Starting point is 00:55:27 But you, you love attention. You love people. You love family. You know what I thought about doing? What? Is vlogging it. Vlogging your death. Are you going to monetize it?

Starting point is 00:55:37 Yeah. Who's going to get the money? Somebody I like. Somebody you care about. Yeah. But I would do like a... You know what? We don't see enough. People like... People dying on the internet? Yeah. No, but people like... Feel you care about. Yeah, but I would do like a, you know what we don't see enough? People like, people dying on the internet?

Starting point is 00:55:46 Yeah, no, but people like, feel like we do. No, but people just go like, oh, this is what I'm feeling. Oh yeah, this, you know what I mean? You mean vlogging? They're death. You're not gonna be able to talk.

Starting point is 00:55:59 How would you, you'd want to vlog your death? Yeah, I'd be like, okay, so I thought I was gonna die a second ago, right? Cause you like, okay, so I thought I was gonna die a second ago. Right? Cause you might, you know what I mean? My pancreas, you know what I mean? It feels like it's on fire. And then my eyeballs are jittering. There it goes again. It's jittering. I'm so late.

Starting point is 00:56:18 Mr. Lee, it's time for your bath. Oh, this bitch again. Mr. Lee, it's time for your bath. Okay. Where do you want me to scrub today? Where would you like to scrub it? You know. Okay. Flip over.

Starting point is 00:56:32 My ass all together. Little butt hole scrub for Mr. Lee. No, not that. That's what I'm going to do it. Please. And I'm going to use my special brush, the one that doesn't have any bristles. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:56:45 Mm. What is this, fancy? So, Spain word, one day, World Cup. That's great. Female World Cup. And then, time, time, time, time. You can't jump over that. Spain won the female World Cup.

Starting point is 00:57:01 Yeah. So here in America, you have to, that's important. Okay. You can't just go Spain, one day, World Cup, the World Cup, the female World Cup, and then world cup. Yeah. So here in America, you have to, that's important. Okay. You can't just go to Spain, why don't they work up? The work up, the female work up, and then go on. Right. Yeah. So say, say, say, say, say, say, right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, the Spain world cup, I'm gonna be the world cup.

Starting point is 00:57:15 The men's world cup is a playing now. I know. That's what I'm saying though. For listeners, I just, I already, I don't know, I assume there was a female world cup. I don't know, but for the listeners, he's stumbling, rumbling, he's drunk again, and I know, but for the listeners, he's probably rumbly, bumbly. He's drunk again. And he's, all right.

Starting point is 00:57:27 He's adding in stuff like, yeah, anyway, but one of the female world cup, they want it. And the president of the Spanish Federation, kiss one of the players. Yeah. On the cheek. No, on the mouth. On the cheek.

Starting point is 00:57:41 That looks like cheek. Well, that's probably just the cheek photo. Yeah, the lip photo. they probably don't post. And he just, you know, lie the whole press and on fire. She said that she didn't like it. Oh, she said she didn't like it. And is it traditional to kiss on the mouth in Spain? No.

Starting point is 00:57:57 Well, there is case kissing on her. That's a Dextolly Lama vibes, yes. That's Dextolly Lama vibes. I got to tell you this guy, let me see, let me see some photos of him. Let me see if I'd let him kiss. So what do you guys think? That's him? He's handsome. No, he's not. That little butch. Yeah. And that's a girl. Wait a minute. So he kisses this one. He kissed a bunch of other girl. Did he kiss

Starting point is 00:58:16 anybody else on the lips or just her? Yes, her. Oh, well, he was a message. She was the captain. Oh, she was the captain. The one you got to kiss the captain. You kiss the captain. Not grab the head. Just kiss. No, she was the captain. But you got to kiss the captain. I'm gonna say this. You kiss the captain. How about this? Not grab the head. Just kiss. No, no, no head. I mean, look the way he's grabbing the head. Both heads on the thing. She has nowhere to move. What did she say? What's her statement? She said, I didn't like that. And then everybody asked for him to step down. And they meant the president of Spain, the, you know, the whole press, even worldwide is the president of the

Starting point is 00:58:44 Spanish, Spanish women's team They've yeah the Spanish Federation Spanish Federation. Yeah, so the president and women's the president So the president of Spain said you got to go. Yeah, he goes in the president's pain You know what he really said. He's like you know. I like this behavior Yeah, this is what we do. You don't grab the head neck But you don't have to grab that if you just kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, it's okay. Because if you turn like this, you get the cheek. The rule is always not on camera. Now this is the prime minister of Spain. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:11 This guy had let kiss on them, kiss me on the fucking mouth. Yeah. Wow. So Rudy, if this guy kissed you after a soccer game, are you letting him do it? Yeah. Right, double standard. This is my point.

Starting point is 00:59:19 Yeah. This is my point. Mr. Hanson, they call him. You know, he fucking is. And look at our guy. Yeah, go back to that. Look at it with Mr. Dan. Yeah they call him. He fucking is. And look at our guy. We'll go back to that. With Mr. Dad. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:27 Yeah. Look, there's a picture of Mr. Hanson and fucking weekend at Bernays. Yeah. Jesus Christ. We gotta get a new guy. Why can't we get someone that's relatively fucking young? We gotta get a new guy.

Starting point is 00:59:39 We gotta get thousand year old men. Yeah, yeah. Is everyone have to be a thou- We're gonna have a young and handsome that guy is. Rob Beto. Beto, Beto, Roar. Yeah, yeah. Is everyone have to be a thout? Look at how young and handsome that guy is. Roberto. Beto. Beto, Roar. Yeah, he's good looking. He's not going to win.

Starting point is 00:59:49 You can't win though. No, I can't win. We're talking about viable options of people like a win. Go, let me get more pictures of this guy. What's his name? Pedro Sanchez. Pedro Sanchez. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:59 How old was he when he got into office? Uh, 50. 50 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? He's taughtered. No, that's the princess of Spain. She's the princess of Spain. Carlos is bookmarking the princess. So we can look her up again. Perv. By the way, she's not.

Starting point is 01:00:16 That's just military. Huh? She's going to the military. They have to. They have to. Yeah, they don't have a choice. Wow. I'm definitely going to the Spanish military. That's a Spanish military. Are those fucking military issued pants? Look at those things. I thought that was a Hollywood gay pipe, right? So let's say that basically is the Spanish military. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:35 You know those straps are for it. The whole of their head while they're fucking blown. But they're also not even camouflage. Well, we can see, we can see it though. No, they want to be seen. Oh, they wanted to be see. Yeah. Wow. They're so handsome. You know, you know why they're the chin up. You don't get anything in their eyes. Wow. Wow. However, by the way, their shirts are fucking open with suspenders on. Yeah. I mean,

Starting point is 01:01:01 that's what a military guy. No, no wonder you guys know where that's the really the military. It is No, it's not yes, it is. It's there's no way Wow, wow So that's like our Navy Yeah, no stop that isn't saying it's that's not them. There's no way yes. It is a Spanish military Fire force Spanish Legion It's gone the Legion. Yeah Does the Philippines have a military? Yeah, look a Filipino

Starting point is 01:01:37 I think they probably got some leftover stuff from us. Yeah Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with those guys those guys know they're insane, they're insane. They'll throw a box of spiders at you. I'll get you good. What's this going on here with the faith? It's Lady Gaga. It's yeah. No, you wouldn't fuck with the Filipino military. They'd fuck you up.

Starting point is 01:02:02 Spanish military though, I'll take those guys out on any deck. That's nuts. Who's that? That's the Filipino leader. Yeah. President right now. Yes, see, those are proper suits. That's what the military should wear,

Starting point is 01:02:15 buttoned all the way up. Yeah. You guys got your fucking chest hairs showing. Did you guys have to do like, cut that like military? Oh yeah. Yeah, we all do, yeah. Yeah, we have to do it. When you're 12. Oh yeah. Yeah, we all do. Yeah, we have to do it.

Starting point is 01:02:26 When you're 12. When you're 12 to 15, you do cut debt. Do you know that? Here? Oh yeah. Got it. Let's go to boot camp. And we have to.

Starting point is 01:02:34 Especially if your dad catches you smoking weed in the garage, then you definitely have to go to boot camp. So I did it when I was 12. We went to Montana and I did the mud crawl. You were mud crawling? Well, you didn't have mud crawling because all you guys, I was before you. Yeah, your years before you. For 20 miles, we had to crawl in a field of just mud.

Starting point is 01:02:52 Mud, yeah. Yeah. And you just, you know, mean, it's in your face. It's on your forearm. It's on your forearms. It's on your knees. Yeah. And even if you get up like that,

Starting point is 01:03:00 the kick your head back down. Push you right back in. Right. And go, young man, back in there, you go, chong, chang, chang, chang, chang, chang, chang. It's from place back in the mud. And they push you right back down. You can't breathe.

Starting point is 01:03:12 In your 12 years old, you're a young kid. Yeah. And then you don't sleep for five days. They put you in a cave. And I had to go, I had to go. What was your life? It was like, it was like a camp almost. It was on it was like a camp almost it was on a lake and

Starting point is 01:03:27 Every night we would go into our little cabins and We had to we had to play hide-go-seek and the counselors Would come after you and if they found you they got you and Yeah, what? And if they get you they got got you. They got you. Yeah. How? Well, if they get you, they got you.

Starting point is 01:03:54 Because when I did it, right, the mud crawl, we didn't have the hiding else to eat. They just gotcha. They got you. Like, what do you mean by gotcha? They would say it. Gotcha. Gotcha, right? And you're Well, they would say it. Gotcha. Right. And you're like, I've been here. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 01:04:08 Like, I didn't even get to hide. Gotcha. But they got ya. Right. And then you're like, what? No. And then you're pants are removed. Right.

Starting point is 01:04:18 It's a phrase you don't understand. In the same way that, you know, Labitelle or whatever the McDonald's thing. Get you gotcha is our thing. It's our thing. Once they get you, they got you. Right. It's an American phrase. Pull the pants down. And they butt fuck you. No. What is wrong with you? It's a cadet military. Oh, they fucking mind. You throw. Yeah, to give you a little spanky, little spanky. A little spanky. Gotcha. Gotcha, they spank you. They spank you with their dicks.

Starting point is 01:04:48 But they don't fuck you. That's gross. Yeah, it doesn't go in the bottle. No, they smack you with it though. Sometimes it hits the rim of the bottle, the rim. Actually often. Oddly enough. Yeah, and they go oops, oops.

Starting point is 01:05:04 Yeah, they say oopsie oops. Yeah, they see. It would go in. Oopsie, whoopsie. Right. What is going on now? What is that? Bobby, I sent you this. I know you don't watch your videos, dude, because they're fuck like they're fuck.

Starting point is 01:05:15 I watched the ones you said. Is this claiming that Michael Jackson is alive? Yes. This is one of these conspiracy theories. Yeah. Wow. What do we think? Yeah. Do you think you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:25 Do you think you think he went, you think he removed all of his surgery? That's the, is that what this is saying? It could be him. That looks nothing like him. It looks nothing like him. That looks like, that looks nothing like him. Even a little bit. Does he claim to be Michael Jackson? Does he sound like him. Even a little bit. Does he claim to be Michael Jackson?

Starting point is 01:05:46 Yeah. Does he sound like him? Let me hear him. Let me hear what he sounds like. I was not in the hospital at the time. I was in in-troom back and forth from... I will tell you this. That person is not Michael Jackson.

Starting point is 01:06:03 Uh-huh. But they probably have the same vibe thing going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they have the same thing going on. He went and everland ranch, right. And he never left. Exactly. Yeah, you get what I'm saying. Like if you put a thigh out of a little boy, you would bite it.

Starting point is 01:06:24 He'd bite it. He would buy it. He'd buy it. Yeah, no nibblers. In fact, in that interview, they should have brought up just a Leg meat some boy little boy like the mannequin leg. Yeah, oh boy You see his teeth chattering. Yeah, he's drooling. You know, he's into it. Yeah Right and then bite right he moon walks out of there with a boy's leg in his mouth. Yeah Rudy tell us tell me what's been going on in your little life Um, how's your boyfriend? Good. He built me a PC. Did he really? Yeah, and then I had to hide it because I'd call Lila hates games

Starting point is 01:06:57 Why she come she called me and complained. Yeah, why she hates video games because I'm gonna go outside And I want to know you she's doing this bullshit Yeah, did my headphones work or no? They're really good cool really good. Wait a minute though. You built you a PC for playing what game? Starter Valley Hogwarts Valorant a lot of games a lot of games. Yeah, I'm obsessed with Starter Valley right now really? You started a farm. Yeah. You wanna go up?

Starting point is 01:07:26 Yeah. We get your call. Look at this bonding. You wanna call up farm with me? Yeah, but at the call, I don't like that much. Who cares? It's so funny because I could work on the farm when you're not around.

Starting point is 01:07:36 So when you go back on, you're like, oh Bobby, like did this area. You'll just do her farm for her? Yeah. No, we do it together. That's fine. Yeah, yeah. On your farm, what do you have so far? I have the

Starting point is 01:07:48 Greenhouse already you do have the greenhouse. Yeah, you're doing the bundles bundles. Yeah, you're doing the bundles. Uh-huh I have so much. I have Bar and yeah, I have the barn. I have the coop. Oh, what do you have in the barn? cows, sheep, pigs, you have pigs already? Yeah, so you're getting truffles truffles already You're far along then. Yeah, that's pretty far. I'm even real Yeah, that's amazing. Thank you for being a bad Anybody yet? I can marry someone yeah, you can oh, so what are your girl or boy girl? Okay? So you know, Elliot? so what are your girl or boy? Girl. Okay, so do you know how to liate?

Starting point is 01:08:26 Mm-hmm. Who's that? The guy that lives, I think, Downstairs. In the beach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sebastian. I don't know. He lives with Maru.

Starting point is 01:08:38 Robbins' mom. Oh, okay, I know Robbins. He's the emo guy with the black hair. Yeah, that guy. Who could do never land and never came out. What? Went to never lining never good. What are you going? I? Have a question. Oh, please Okay, so when I'm cleaning to the lobby house, I always stop stop no, no, you let her talk No, let her talk.

Starting point is 01:09:05 Don't let him get it. Watch. No. Watch. Go ahead saying. No, fuck him. I'm just confused as to what it is because in your bathroom, okay, stop.

Starting point is 01:09:14 You stop. Go ahead, Root. There's like near the bathtub. There's like a jelly thing that looks like a jellyfish. Yeah. And it's like really squishy. And I thought it was like a duck toys in the hood. Yeah, a duck toy.

Starting point is 01:09:31 Yeah, I thought it was like toys. I love duck toys. So I tried touching it and it's like sticky and squishy. Yeah. So I had to ask Mattas, my grandma, because she cleans. Mm-hmm. Because how sue. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:48 And she said, oh, it's his sex story. It is his sex toy. Yeah. But why are, are there so many? Yeah, you know, one would ask why there are so many. There's one in the kitchen, one in the pantry. Yeah, go, go, go, go. No, no, no, we're the rest.

Starting point is 01:10:03 They're all over the place. I bet. Yeah. What would you say? Like a dozen? There's gotta be a dozen. Bakers dozen? No, half a dozen.

Starting point is 01:10:11 Half a dozen. And it's like a robot thing, like suction. There's like different kinds. Right. And he leaves them for you to clean. Oh. Interesting Tito. But I thought first it was like the Duck Toy. It is a Duck Toy.

Starting point is 01:10:31 Robotic Duck Toy. Yeah, because when he uses it, he goes, whack, whack, whack, whack. Okay. And, you know, stuff you find around the house. Shut your fucking mouth. You know? Did you sign an NDA? No, well, okay?

Starting point is 01:10:46 Okay, what about the maggots? What about the maggots? What about the maggots? What do you think not one more word about the maggots? Well, what about the man? They're my friends. You have the record one Have the maggots that is true You have the record when I have the maggots. That is true. You're right. No.

Starting point is 01:11:03 You have a record. I clean last week. OK, go ahead. And then the next week, there's maggots already. How did they? What's going on over there? I grow them. Have you heard of a science?

Starting point is 01:11:15 Right? And I want to explore. I want to know how they work and how they behave. And I'm jotting down their behavioral maggots. maggots don't just show up out of the blue. maggots are cleanly in your house. That means a fly first found its way into your home through an entry point, decided to lay eggs.

Starting point is 01:11:28 Flys tend to the flock to rotting material, spoiled food, old garbage, or sex toys, and they use that as their breeding ground. Interesting. The maggots were in the cat food. Yeah. No, yeah. You know, you had no sex toy. It says it could come from anywhere. Okay. It's in the fucking was it not in the cat food was there maggots on any of the sex toys

Starting point is 01:11:55 Was there Just in the cabinet, but guess what in the cabinet in the cat food. Where is the cat food? the in the cat food. Where is the cat food? The aisle thing in the kitchen. Oh, but you said there was a sex toy in the kitchen as well. Yeah. Interesting. How far away was the sex toy to the fucking... Not far.

Starting point is 01:12:12 Not far. Yeah, but that's still... Your honor. Your honor. That's still... Your honor. But I don't get why you have a sex toy in your kitchen. Why do you have sex toy in your kitchen? In the pantry. But I don't get why you have a sex toy in your kitchen. Why do you have something in there? In the pantry.

Starting point is 01:12:26 Can I tell you why? And I'll tell you why. We're waiting. I'll tell you why. The reason why my friend is not of your business, but I'll tell you, right, is I energize them in different areas of my house. Interesting.

Starting point is 01:12:40 Okay, they're all chargeable. Oh. Right. So all my plugs in my bedroom, have my phones and my gadgets and stuff like that. That makes sense. My bathroom has two plugged in, sex toys, that I'm energizing, and there's a third one,

Starting point is 01:12:55 because I'll tell you what happens. Tell, please. I'll tell you what happens. They run out of energy, till they vibrate and they swirl around. Right, sometimes I'm like, You gotta plug it in. I'm like, oh fuck, so I grab another one. And I go to the kitchen.

Starting point is 01:13:14 So you're walking around with your dick or out around your house just grabbing sex toys that I'm not walking, I'm running. You're running. Because I'm wet, it's in the bathtub. I do it in the bathtub. Yeah, you're always wet. Yeah, yeah. So you stay in the bathtub. Yeah, you're always wet. Yeah

Starting point is 01:13:30 So you stay in the bathtub and you get out you go grab a toy bring it in go grab another one and you do this repeatedly I don't know why we even talking about why don't you have any outlets in your bathroom? Keep it on the bathroom plug them all in and there because I've like Electro toothbrush takes up We got to develop an electric toothbrush. That's also a sex toy. Okay, can I just say this? Or I already, I already admitted that I use them. And I don't think it's wrong to use them. It's not. I think women have vibrators and they use them. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:51 And I'm using my sax toys. That's the problem. There's nothing wrong with it. But that's really have to clean them. No, he does, she doesn't. And I'm never asked you to do it. I've never asked you to do it. But first, the first time I cleaned, I didn't know what it was.

Starting point is 01:14:01 Yeah, that's your fault. That's your fault. And I didn't want to ask you because it's awkward. I agree it is your fault. Mine. Yeah, you got to know what it is. You got to know what it is. But it looks like a jellyfish.

Starting point is 01:14:12 Of course, that's why it sells so well. That's one of the best on the market. Yeah. What do you mean, we all want to fuck a jellyfish? You never seen those things in the wild? I can't wait to put my cock in one of those things. Do you use gloves? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:14:23 Okay, you're fine. Yeah, yeah. You're fine. Yeah. But when you look at the opening, you think that's what a jellyfish's mouth looks like? I don't want... It doesn't look like that. Yeah, you don't feel it.

Starting point is 01:14:35 Yeah. That's what jellyfish sound like. If you pick them up out of the ocean, they go, Oh. You know what I'm gonna do now? You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna hide them from you. Okay.

Starting point is 01:14:43 Okay. Oh, and then you gotta find them. Yeah, you get paid per per toy you find Ten bucks of toy you find them you get but you are missing out on sex toys. Yeah, no, I've used I've used Not but not the real thing. No, but not the vibrating you know me and will buy me one for my birthday really? Yeah, I'd love one I will buy you one buy me the top of the line when I'll use it okay, but I'll have to keep it here at the studio You're gonna use it every time you do whiskey ginger or something. Yeah, I haven't done that podcast in years I just go jerk off and Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm so down. Will you do that you buy me a nice one? I'll buy you a nice one

Starting point is 01:15:15 Yeah, well, let me say this Rudy. It's nice to have you back It's awful that you try to call out Tito for having a very healthy normal sex toy for having a very healthy, normal sex toy, a sex toys at his house. I'm on your team. Thank you. And I want to say thank you for the pillow. And thank you for being a bad friend. Woo. Woo! Yeah! Woo!

Starting point is 01:15:46 Yeah! Yeah!

Bad Friends - Toilet Water Waddle

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