Bad Friends - Twitter Deals Canceled!

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 & https://www.onnit.com/badfriends &  http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 Andrew's Final Tour Dates 0:40 Bobby is Back from Oklahoma 7:22 A Cookout in Heaven 17:14 Jeff Koons, John Baldessari and the Price of Art 33:25 How to Dodge an Elephant with Bobby Lee 42:59 South African Black Magic 45:40 I Love Bobby Lee 51:40 Is Bobby Leaving Twitter? 59:13 Doc Bring Alien Proff 1:11:34 Kimchi, Potato Salad and Next Week's Assignment More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, bad friends. Come see me live this weekend. I'm playing Los Angeles. I'm doing my hour for the Netflix Festival here in Los Angeles. Go to AndrewSantino.com for the tickets. Then I'm going to be going to Vancouver and Tahoe, Montclair, New Jersey, and Niagara Falls. Only a couple of dates left to come see me. But this weekend, bad friends, come see me, Los Angeles Downtown the Palace Theater on Saturday, May 7th. AndrewSantino.com for the tickets. AndrewSantino.com for them tickets. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Why do you think we're Asian dudes? You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. Bad friends. Anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor, it's the easiest way to make a podcast. It's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain.

Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool. These are, there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer. You do it from your phone, like on the go. Oh my God. That's cool. On the bus or the subway, you can do it. That's cool. Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and many, many, many, many, many, many more. Many, many more. Go ahead. You can make money from your podcast too. No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go, Bob? Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Let's welcome

Bobby back from Oklahoma. So I, um, shout out to Craig Drinking Water. Craig Drinking Water. Yeah. Drinking water. Drinking water. No, no, no, no. That's deer and water. Deer and water? You texted me. You don't know the name. I do know. Craig deer and water. Craig deer in water. Yeah. Yeah. Craig deer and water. Yeah. Deer and water. You're right. The red corn family. Shout out to the fucking red corn family. Yeah. Yeah. Heavy shout out. Shout out to Sterling all the gang over there. Shout out to the yellow corn boys there. Yeah. I never bit the yellow. I think I'm the yellow corn. You're the yellow corn. Yeah. You are the leader. Yeah. Shout out to all the ladies at the tavern. I hung out there. Little vague. Be more specific. It's a restaurant.

Gretel. A bunch of people. Shout out to all the people at Lowood and Bull in the alley. Shout out to not the fucking the hotel. Gretel was there? Was Hansel there? Hey, um, I had a really good time, man. That was a really fun time. I was in Tulsa for two weeks shooting res dogs. And, um, I just, I just love that show, man. It's so good. I think you look really, really good. And it looks fun. Like you look like it's a fun character. It's a fun character because now I'm, you know, a little wild. A little wild. Yeah. A little wild. Dr. King is a little wild now. Well, I want to say something. Happy birthday. Whose birthday? I don't know. Idiot. Well, first of all, let's welcome back to the show. A missing element of the show. The

black stain on our hearts that is the most beautiful little nugget. The little cocoa bean that we love to bring to the show. And sometimes he's busy and can't make it, but he's back in black because that's his skin color. Ladies and gentlemen, little black magic, a.k.a. Doc Willis, a.k.a. I don't park cars no more. Doc is in the motherfucking building. Hey, Doc, you know it's summertime. He's wearing a sweater. I don't know what it's like. You know what? You don't get sweaty? No. This ain't even a sweater. It's like a thin t-shirt. Yeah. Maybe the liquor kind of makes it cool your body. Yeah, a little bit. I ain't drinking a day though. Yeah. On Twitter, there was a couple of women that have tweeted me and they said in a serious way, not in a joking way, you have to

be nicer to Doc. We can't stand it. We can't stand it. You're a bully. But they fuck. I know. So what I'm what I'm going to do for this podcast, okay, is be mindful and be just super generous and kind to you. I'm going to try. I'm going to give it a go because you know what? They might have a point, right? So I want to say you can wear whatever you want, even though it's fucking 90 degrees outside. All right. You can drink whatever you want. I support your alcoholism and I support. So is this going to be a Christian podcast now? No, it's not. No, I'm. Is this going to be a Christian podcast? Yeah, it's going to be a Christian podcast. Well, let's pray for you. How about let's all do a prayer together. Dear Heavenly Father, dear Jesus,

dear little black Jesus, dear little black is blood. They might have a different God. Black people. Yeah, what? That's going to be nice. Right away. The white God is better than the black God, but isn't it though? No. Well, yeah, you're going to black heaven because it seems like there's better music. And he's hotter. Yeah. Way hotter. Way hotter. BBC, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So can you imagine? You could see black Jesus was like one of those guys in New York who does like dips and pull ups on the playground. That's black Jesus. He says stuff like, yeah, man, I knew best. Yeah. Black Jesus is hotter, right? Do you think black heaven is different than white heaven? Do you think we're all together in the afterlife? Yeah. You think it's segregated? I think it's

segregated. I think it's segregated. Where would it be? I don't think God, I don't think God, there's one God. I don't think he's going to be like, all right, guys, this is your cloud or your section. No, he'll let everyone hang. But I think we would just kind of, our angels would fly toward our group. You would do what you do, what people do in the real world. You kind of go by the people that you know. So there would be a black section of heaven. There'd be a Filipino section of heaven, sorry. And of course, there would be segregated groups. I don't think so. And I would come over to the cloud and I'd go, what's going on over on your cloud? And you guys, you know, there's got to be a cookout going on up there. Okay. And I wouldn't be invited to the cookout. The cookout?

Yeah, you'd definitely be there. I would come through. Would he get invited to the cookout? Yeah. Well, because you know, we like, I wouldn't come. We like Chinese food. So I mean, all of you are welcome. That's okay. Let me ask you something. Do you know what this phrase is? Get invited to the cookout? Do you understand this phrase? Yeah, either you're not. But do you know what it's in reference to? No. Okay. A song? In black culture. Yeah. Referring to someone who isn't black that gets quote unquote, invited to the cookout means you're cool with black people. Enough for them to go. You can come to the cookout. Yeah, I've never invited to a cookout. I know. I trust me. I know you've never been invited to a cookout. Yeah.

Can you invite me to your cookout? Do not. Do not invite him to a cookout. No, you don't get that. You've got to do a lot of fixing down here on earth before you get invited to black cookout. No, let me ask you something. You're black angels. Just listen. All right. They don't fly, by the way. They, they, they, they, they, hey, they chill. Yeah. Well, there's too much bling on the wings. It's just heavy, heavy down with like a bunch of metal. You can hear the black angels coming with all the chains knocking off each other when they fly. Are the wings black as well? Or is this the body? I don't know. How does that work? You know what? What? Show him the palm of your hands right now. Boom. White.

Feel it. See what I mean? Yeah. You see what I mean? A darker tan. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I did my 23 and me and I'm like a 17% white. That helps. Are you anything else? You're like Barak. I'm 77% like Congo, West, West Africa. And then I'm 2% Asian and South Asian. South Asian. You're 2% South Asian. Yeah. And like 1%. You're more like Tiger Woods. Yeah. That's what your eyes come for. That's what your eyes come for, you know what I mean? Oh, is that, you do have squidier eyes, huh? What are my eyes? Am I, am I? You have big eyes. Big round eye. Big round eye. Yeah. By the way, speaking of getting invited to cook out, would either of these two get invited to cook out,

these Latinos? Of course, 100%. They would. Yeah. Yeah. We, every minority is invited. You guys would be a little bit, I get invited to the cook out. Yeah, you, because you. But I'm a minority of whites. You did our movie with Kevin Hart, so you get a ghetto. Thank you. I did too. Fucked hard. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he said he didn't like you. That's true. That's true. What would, what would Bobby bring to the cook out? What would he bring? What would you bring? That's what I wanted. Well, you know, if you go to Choson or Parks, any of the Korean restaurants. Love. Love, right? Love.

Do they, what do they bring? What? To the table. That seems a little weird. Potato salad. Oh, potato salad. I don't like that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like that. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's like a big thing with white people. You can't, you can't bring it. Black people do what? Potato salad? No, no, no, no. They love potato salad, but we, we argue with each other about potato salad. They make it. You can't bring it. If you brought potato salad, they would throw it away. Okay. Can I say this? What's that? I'll, I want to be nice. Okay. No, no, no, no. Come on. Let it fly. Fucking little. No, no. So what I'm saying is that you think that I go low grade.

You don't think that I go high grade. High grade. Last night, when I came into town, right, I want to see my dogs. So I went to Boa Steakhouse, right? I ordered two steaks, one for me and a $75 steak for my dog. Okay. That's how I roll dog. I feel you on it. All right. So I would come to your fucking steakhouse. But in a room full of strangers that don't know you and you just come walking in with potato salad and it's all black people. Really, they don't have television on YouTube. They don't know who I am. Come on. No, I'm just saying. They're not going to know who I am. No credit. They never, they never saw. If you walked in with potato salad, it's like, here's why.

Okay, go ahead. He's telling you black people love potato salad. They take pride in it. Yeah. So if you show up with something in whack or mediocre, then you get uninvited to the cookout. Okay. Now you're in jeopardy of never getting invited back. You got to bring something more monotonous. It's funny because I imagine that me driving to a cookout in my head is going to think, this is the last cookout I'm ever going to go to. It's just a one time deal for me. So if they never asked me back, fuck it. That's what I want. You just got to be secondly, right? If I had a cookout, because we don't call it a cookout. We call it a cookout.

Right? So if you were invited to my cookout, right? And you brought kimchi. Yeah, that's the same thing. But check it out, right? We would laugh. Of course. If you brought kimchi to our cookout, right? We would laugh. We would whisper to each other. Who brought the, you know what I mean? If the kimchi was legit, we would be like, we would go, this is legit. Yeah, but I just don't think he'd bring kimchi. What would you bring to a Korean cookout? I don't know how you would make kimchi. Would you make kimchi? How does kimchi made you think? Kimchi, I don't even know what it is. Welcome back to cooking.

Seaweed, right? You don't know what kimchi is. Seaweed? Okay, it's seaweed. Yes, sure. It's first of all, it's seaweed. What else? Brussels sprouts. Yeah. Mung beans sprouts. No, no, no, keep going. So it's seaweed, Brussels sprouts. Brussels sprouts. You said, you said string beans or green beans? What did you say? No, mung beans. Okay, mung beans. Mung beans. Yeah, mung beans. And then how is it prepared? You think the seaweed? A little bit of miracle whip, right?

Yes. He's pretty good. Yeah. A little bit of hot sauce. Tabasco or Louisiana? Wasabi. Oh, wasabi. Yeah, fam. Man, we cookin'. Yeah, I don't know how to make kimchi. Yeah, if you brought that, we could get out of our cookout. All right? Yeah, because that's our kimchi. How do you make kimchi? Cabbage. It's cabbage, right? And then they ferment it with seasoning, right? And then they bury it for like a year.

Sometimes shorter, but it depends on how potent they want it. Yeah. But it's definitely buried in an underground kimchi. That's pretty much what it is. There's no mung bean or... They don't have a little white little sprouts in there. You've never had it. How the fuck? What are you inventing? I'm just trying to... Oh, you're talking about like... Yeah, yeah. Kongnamul. So that's Kongnamul. Kongnamul. Kongnamul is a sprout side dish that comes out to the yellow one.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not kimchi. Okay, so what is the kimchi to the potato salad for Filipino people? Kimchi. Do you understand what we're saying? Like, kimchi is the thing that we're saying. So the Filipinos had a barbecue. What would we bring that's kind of like a customary thing that you guys eat? Pancit. Pancit. What's pancit?

It's like a noodle. You think I'm going to bring noodles to your fucking... But it's really good. How offensive. I show up with a bag of noodles. No, you have to cook it. Okay, I have to cook it. Yeah, that. What's in pancit?

Pork. Oh, that's good. That looks real good. Or shrimp or carrots. And then there's obviously there's snap peas in there. And is there cabbage? You guys do love cabbage. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I would like this. This looks really good. It is. So I could bring pancit. But what if I made it poorly? Wouldn't you guys all be like, you shouldn't have showed up with it? Yeah, we wouldn't invite you again. See, you get one shot. You know what I would always bring?

What? You know what the go-to is for any culture? What? Liquor, booze. That's true. Koreans, alcoholics. That's true. Black people.

You know I'm bringing some Hennessy dog. Oh, yeah. Filipino beer. You guys like beer. Big beer culture. Big beer, yeah. For a fancy, you know. Malibu, what would you drink?

Malibu, something like that? Yeah. Yeah. You bring liquor. If you bring booze, you can't go wrong. If I showed up to a Korean cookout and I brought booze, no one's going to say anything. Right.

If I bring a dish, it's like, what the who the fuck does this guy think he is? Yeah, I've never like, I've been to people's houses for the holidays. What do you bring? Nothing. Bobby. I literally don't.

You have to bring a gift. I haven't. No, but from now on, you must. You do? Yeah, because I went to Keegan's. When you go to a fucking party, you have to bring a party gift. No.

Yes. Yeah, exactly. I'm with you, Doc. Hey, Doc, Doc, I am with you. Fuck yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. I don't bring a cake. I don't bring a card.

Nobody brings a cake or a card? For a birthday party. Oh, well, birthday, if I know. See, you're the odd man out. You don't bring anything. You're rude. That's me. You don't bring nothing for people, you know.

No, he barely shows up. He was late to his own fucking birthday party this year. And didn't even fucking stay. You know what he did? We threw a birthday party for this degenerate, and he fucking left before the party was over to go do a spot. And we stayed.

It was a great spot. More than what a magical night. Wow, right? No. You have to bring something for people. All right, from now on, I know. If I invite you over to my house to eat dinner, which I did, that night you came over.

I did. Yeah, but if that's different than if we have a party. If I have a party, you have to bring something. Like, you had. If it's just you and me. Let's backtrack here for a second. Let me ask you a question. Sure.

What kind of party is it? A little get together. If I said, hey, I'm having people over on Saturday. Now, let me ask you something. You know who I am, right? Bobby Lee. All right. So you know who how I am.

Chinese. No, I mean, that's who I am. That's who I am. That's back to who I am or what I am. Right. Yeah. Okay. You know how my behavior is like, my personality.

Yeah, annoying. Okay. Okay. Would you then expect me to bring something? No, but you're 50. You should know by now. I understand that. So I was invited to Keegan Key's birthday party. You brought nothing.

And there was a fucking table full of presents. Right. And Kalyla and I just kind of zip past the table. We pretended we put something in it. This is why. We did a hand motion. Yeah. This is why you're not going to invite it to stuff.

This is why you complained earlier before the show. Huh. This is why. Interesting. I guess you're right. I apologize. You got to give gifts. All right.

All right. Let me just say something. Let me finish what I'm going to fucking say. Okay. I'm so sorry. Okay. Thank you. From now on, for any cookout, right?

For anything that I'm invited to, I'm going to bring something. It's not that I don't want to. Like I'm not. I'm a generous person. I'm not generous. You can be. I'm generous in a certain way. Like in terms of like if we go to a meal, I always pay.

Generally. Okay. Let's stop there. Stop. The reason you do that is so I don't have to bring the birthday fucking gift. Correct. But you know, that's why I do things like this. So I don't have to do these other things. You pay because you don't want to deal with the money thing.

You just want to go here and I want to leave. That's more self-serving. No, no, no. Stop. No, that's not true. Yes. It's for my heart. No.

It's pure for my heart. It's not. The second thing I do is and ask anybody right at the comedy store. Right. I was, I was, I always loan people money. That's a bad idea. I'm just saying I was always the guy, right? Did I loan you money?

You didn't loan it to me. You gave it to me. Yeah, yeah. So I give money away. That's nice. No, I'm, that's what I give homeless people money. Oh, okay. All the time.

I'm just saying, right? Because the way you're painting me is like the selfish like. I don't need to paint you. You paint you. I'm going to paint myself. We'll start painting. Yeah, yeah. Like Rembrandt.

I'm going to Rembrandt it out right now. Bob Ross. What? Or I'll fucking Pollock it. I'll Jackson Pollock it. You are kind of Pollock it. Yeah, yeah. I, yeah, that's right. I am. I just spray shit on canvas, dude.

And what am I? What? What am I? You are Coons. Oh, I love Coons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Coons. Yeah.

No, no, no, no. Relax. Oh, I'm about to say, yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Coons. He's going to take any of those words the wrong way. Coons is a real artist.

Bring up Coons. He's a real artist. He's really good. Yeah. Look at his sum of his stuff, though. You've seen him before. Oh, I know who he is. Yeah, he's good.

Then why did you, well, you were offended. Yeah, because I didn't know he just threw that out, so I didn't know that's who he was talking about. Yeah, I know who this is. That kind of looks like me. Yeah, yeah. That's like me in a couple years. Yeah, yeah.

You're like Jeff Coons. You know who, oh, you know who I'm, you know who you're like? Who? John Baldassari. John Baldassari. John Baldassari. John Baldassari.

Do you know who this is? John Baldassari. This guy's fucking incredible. I heard him. Okay, so Baldassari got. Oh, I know him. I know him. He got famous.

You see these dots that he puts over? So he would take very, very like essential photos or pictures that existed in the world of social culture. Yeah. And he put these, you remember those dots are from the store. You know from the old like 99 cent store? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he started doing this to like really famous photos

and then he did it to his own stuff. But there's a great little mini piece on YouTube somewhere. You got to look for it. Baldassari one day got so sick of the way that the art world was, you know, manipulating his art or whatever you want to say or like using his, so he burned all of it. He literally burned everything he made. Yeah.

That's you. You're John Baldassari. Yeah. In a beautiful way. He burned it because he was like, fuck you, you don't get that. The system's not fair because a lot of people, they turn paintings. What do you mean? So they'll buy it, right?

From an artist or whatever for like, you know, $50,000. And then a year later, they'll go to an auction and sell it for $8 million. Right. And the artist doesn't get a piece of it, right? Right, right. So they turn, it's a completely backward system. But that's one argument for why NFTs are kind of logical.

Yeah. As odd as it is. Yeah. Like if real art could be NFT'd in the sense that every time it was bought and traded, the artist got an original kickback, that's what an NFT literally is. Yeah. So when you talk about physical art, the way that it doesn't have a kickback to the original artist, I think is the problem with art, the problem with an exchange of art dealers.

That's the reason that fucking Banksy wanted to shred that art. And then ironically, it made it worth three times as much. Yeah. But it's like, the artist should always get a kickback from the original thing they made. Yeah. I don't know why they don't fucking start doing it. But some artists are like, that make millions of dollars. And there's this one guy, I forgot his name, but he takes animals, puts them in formaldehyde,

and sticks them just in a cage, not a cage, but like a water tank. Like you would see a fish tank or whatever. Right. And $10 million. That's his art. What? Yeah. Yeah, I think there is a guy that does that.

So he taxidermies the animal. Yeah. And he puts it in a fucking. But is it, but is the piece that it is in, is that creative? Is it in like? No, it's a black, like one of them was a goat. I do love goats. Yeah. Goats are great. And so one guy that bought it, right, he was looking at the tank one day,

and there was white stuff coming out of the goat's nose. Oh, yeah. Right. Go on. And he had to drain the fucking formaldehyde and then wipe the fucking, like, clean his own art almost like that. That's it. The guy.

I don't know about that. Right. That's a real artist. What's his name? Brian Fuller. Yeah. I got to be honest with you. That's it. That's pretty.

That's pretty beautiful. I'm not going to lie. I mean, that's stunning. I know. But how much does a horse cost? In real life? Yeah. Tens of thousands, like 10 grand, 15 grand.

So that's a 15 grand horse, right? What do you think that that? Well, first of all, that's a pony. Oh, a pony. How much is a pony? Probably 10 grand. Same 10 grand. That's a pony.

10 grand, right? To you, it's a horse stock. Yeah. To you, it's a mammoth. Ponies of $1,000. I think that's got to be lowballed. Let's go a highball. $10,000 for a pony.

OK, fine. It's a really nice one. How much do you think that fucking thing is to make? The box? The wood. Yeah, the wood seems a couple grand. Couple grand, right? Formaldehyde.

I don't know how much that costs. I think you can get that for free. Right, right. To kill the pony. That's fun. That's fun. That's free. Yeah, yeah.

That'd be free, right? Yeah. And then how much does that painting cost? Or that artwork? $200 million. $200 fucking million? That's what I'm saying. Let's do this.

You have a house filled with animals. I can kill him. Yeah. You could kill him, put him from out of that. How much would you get for a human? I mean, just dock with a little dick. You get life in fucking prison. That's what you fucking need to get.

Yeah, black man. We call it black man little dick. Not. That's what we call it. Black man floating on a little dick, right? The horse itself. In a nice way. I love you so much.

Thank you. This is not a good title. What is it? The horse? The horse itself was called The Dream and it's $4.1 million. So that exacts. $4.1 million for the thing you just saw.

Yeah, exactly. We got to start doing this. I know. There's another piece of art. How many animals are in your house? Seven. I'm not doing it. No, don't do our animals.

Where the fuck are we going to get the animals from? $4.1 million? No. Which one? You got us to give up one. Stubs. No. Yeah, yeah.

Stubs. Maybe. No, baby who? Throw it out there. Oh, she had it on her tongue. Yeah, throw it out there. Maybe who? You're so evil.

It's OK. It's fine. I'm not going to be mad. Remy? Remy. Remy. Yeah, we have Remy. You want to kill Remy.

Because he's old. He's 12. Oh, so what? Older people aren't, don't belong? Yeah. So older people shouldn't live? No, he's just going to die. So might as well kill him now.

Is that what you're saying about Tito Bobby? Because that's the exact thing. He's going to die soon. Might as well kill him now. Maybe. Oh, wow. Some of it. Ship station.

Hey, I got to tell you something. Yeah? What do we use, Bobby, to ship out our merch to our fans? Ship station, baby. You better believe it. If you run an e-commerce business, Andrew, you probably feel like it's about time people stop treating an e-commerce giant better,

just because they're bigger and you're absolutely right. I agree. That's why Ship station gives e-commerce sellers of all sizes access to the same deeply discounted rates, usually reserved for Fortune 500 companies. Ship station is already trusted by over 100,000 sellers. And I got to tell you, if you're terrified with dealing with international shipping,

Don't Be Ship Station makes it a breeze to ship anywhere around the world. So scale away. Ship station can handle it, my friend. Ship station works with over 45 carriers. Easily compare rates and delivery times to quickly find the best option every time. Go ahead, Jules.

In fact, 98% of companies that you use, Ship station for a year, keep using it for as long as they're in business. And that's right. We use Ship station. We love it. And if you've got a business where you're looking to distribute some stuff,

you got to use Ship station. Don't let those big guys keep all the good discounts for themselves. You can sign up using the promo code BADFRIENDS for a free 60-day trial today at Shipstation.com and start saving with every single shipment. That's two whole months of discounted shipping, absolutely free.

Where do they go, Bob? Just go to Shipstation.com. Click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in BADFRIENDS. Make Ship Happen. Hello Fresh. Oh, I love Hello Fresh. I get it delivered to my house.

These boxes, it says Hello Fresh on it. Love it. And I get super excited. With Hello Fresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh

to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. It is true. I got to tell you, I love Hello Fresh. I've been using this for a while now. And at first, I was like, I don't know, because I don't love cooking. And you might not like cooking.

This is so easy. Hmm. A moron like me can do it. Yeah, I can do it. I'm moron. They lay it out for you. They literally give you everything you need. All you need is like the essentials,

like a pan pot, salt, pepper, oil, stuff like that. Yeah. And they basically just lay it out detailed for you to cook an easy, delicious, and they've got really healthy options too. So I think they've got like, look, seasonal recipes like Salmon, Lemon, and Pasta Primavera. Pick your favorites from 50 different weekly options

and skip weeks when you need to. Change your delivery date or update your preferences in all the Hello Fresh app. Hello Fresh has fit and wholesome recipes for satisfying and nutritious meals that you can feel good about, with six recipes per week to choose from, including low calorie and carb conscious options.

Hey, man, go to HelloFresh.com. Use the code BADFRIENDS16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts again. I love gifts. That's HelloFresh.com slash BADFRIENDS16. Use that code BADFRIENDS16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Hello Fresh America's number one meal kit.

There's another piece of art. This Jewish man owns a piece of art. I don't know who the artist is, but it's of a little boy facing a wall. It's a statue. I think I've seen this before. It's a little boy facing the wall. It's a statue.

Yeah. But when you turn around, right, and it's a Jewish man that owns him. I mean, it's incredible. That's it. That's it. That's it. So from the behind, you think it's a little boy, right?

But when you look at the face, it's Hitler. Isn't that cool? Oh, my God. Is that creepy? Zoom in on Hitler's face there. Yeah. Please don't go dad. Oh, my God.

17.2 million for that. Yeah. Wow. Art is crazy. Dak, who are you texting? I was trying to find this artist that I was looking for. Well, you can ask them. They got a computer up there.

Yeah. But somebody texted to me and we was going back and forth looking at the prices. What's the artist? Is it another Hitler thing? No, no, no. It's, uh, I have to show you. Would you put up a statue of like Mao in your house?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you would, huh? Yeah. If there are any artists out there that can make a Genghis Khan statue? Yeah. Or how about a Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee statue? That size. From the back, it's me.

From the front, it's you. Yeah. That's amazing. If someone can make that. I'm going to make that, right? So from behind, it looks like a red hair. It's got a little redheaded guy. Yeah, yeah.

Am I kneeling? Why are we kneeling? And also the height, right? So it's like the tall one has to be, right? Look like you're like a little, and I've got to be smaller. But when you turn around, I'm actually, I'm the tall one. But with the red hair. No.

Why? It's going to look like that. I want it to be that. Same size? Well, I don't know if I like it kneeling. Something about that is very strange. Yeah, yeah. I kind of like it.

But somebody's going to spend three years working on that. So what, do it, I hope we have a fan that does that. Yeah, and we'll sell it. And we'll sell it. And the original artist will make all the money and we'll take a little bit of the money. Yeah, 10%, 15% or 20, 25. And the rest, 75, 25.

How about that? The artist gets 75, we'll get 25, and we'll auction it off on the show. If you can make a little statue from the back, it looks like me, from the front, it looks like Bobby. But I got to tell you, it's got to be high quality. By the way, talk about empowerment. Yeah.

To have a little, as a Jewish man, I guess I understand that is like the powerful like, yeah, I own you, you little fucking bitch. Do you know what I mean? I think that's what it means. It's like, Dominic, if he's bowing to you a little bit, he's kneeling, he's praying for forgiveness so you won't kill him.

I think if you were Jewish, you'd own this thing just to fucking lord over a piece of shit. Yeah. It would make sense. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but the thing with Jackson Pollux. You don't like it? Nah, just buying some fucking apocalyptic type shit like that,

that's just weird. Okay, let me say this. What if a black art collector, a very wealthy black art collector had a statue of a slave owner on his knees like that, like begging for you to not, do you think that would be strange? Yeah, I don't want him in my house. Yeah, but don't you think that that would be sending

a powerful message to people that come to your house that you've taken back control over someone that controlled you? Nah, I don't think it would mean anything. All right, well, maybe you're not an arch guy. But you're not an arch guy. You said an arch guy. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.

Because I don't, because I can't see myself having something like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, what about when my family come over? What they gonna be like, man, that's what I'm telling about, having a white man on his knees. Hell yeah, what you just said, it sounds like something someone would say.

And they're gonna be like, yo, how much is that? You're gonna go, it's worth $19 million. And they're like, hell yeah, you own that. You own the white man, little bitch. It's an investment, right? And probably originally, that thing was probably somebody bought it for like $500,000, right? And through time, it's an investment.

It's just worth millions. These things just fucking go up. You wouldn't want a little white slave over on his knees in your foyer when people walk in. I mean, it's just worth some money, yeah. Can you imagine? And then you put your keys on his little head, little slave owner's head.

When you walk in, you put your Ferrari key on his little head. Hell yeah. You see, now you're gonna come around to it. Because then black success is saying, fuck you to the little white man when you walk in your huge house. Oh yeah, thank you. Do you see?

Do you get it now? Yeah, yeah, I get it. That's why this person owns the Hillard. There are certain arts that I know that I could have done. Like in the 60s, they were gonna name Larry Punes. He's a talented guy, but you know what I mean? I think Jeff Koons has an orb. What do you mean?

It's just like a blue orb that's worth millions of dollars. Correct. Yeah, right? Yeah. What? Because me and this girl was talking about this. What? What is that?

This is like a pot that he was selling, and it was like 25 grand. Yeah. How much is the orb? He makes a lot of money just. That orb is stunning, though. I know, but I could, you think you and I can make an orb? That's kind of boring.

Thank you. Let me tell you something. Yeah. How about an assignment over the week? You guys bring in a fucking blue orb that's even remotely beautiful to any degree, and we'll see if we can access it. How much is a blue orb? How much is Jeff Koons' blue orb?

Yeah. The other thing's going for over 50 million. 58.4 million. Yeah. What? A blue orb. A blue orb is worth 50 million. Well, yeah, Larry Poon's back in the 60s put like little kind of dots on campus.

Look up Larry Poon's. Jeff Koons' rabbit fetched 91 million. God damn, he is killing it. Yeah, man. Early work. Larry Poon's early work. Thank you. I got to tell you something, though.

Yeah. Yeah, the little dots right there. The red one. The red one. Yeah. The big red one. Right. Yeah.

That right there. Stunning. It is stunning, but that right there is worth millions of dollars. Because there's a lot of messages in there. There's no message in it, man. Dots. Let me analyze it. Oh, analyze it.

Oh, eight dots. Oh my God. Now I know what it means. Don't you know what the number eight means? Yeah. Google the meaning of the number eight. Watch this. This is going to blow your mind.

Meaning of the number eight. Watch. Significance of the number eight should not be overlooked. Professionalism, material, freedom, affluence, and self-confidence are all related to the number eight, numerology. That's not all. Many numerologists believe that the number eight is associated with compassion, freedom, self-reliance.

Go back to the painting. Go back to the painting. You know, go back to the number seven. Let's see what the number seven means. Look at that. Go look at that. See what the number seven means. Every number has a fucking meaning.

No, it doesn't. Yeah, yeah. A powerful number. In the wisdom, self-awareness, intuition. Oh, so, hey, Jules? He did eight. Let's do seven. You do seven dots?

You know what I'm going to do? Oh, what? Do the meaning of the number four. Yeah. Watch this. It's going to blow your fucking mind. Look at this. Self-expression and self-fulfillment. Yeah.

Okay. You do four, then. What does doc do? What? What is the meaning of the number zero? Hey, that's completeness. Zero is completeness. Spiritual standpoint, zero is a standing point from which other numbers are created.

Zero is the sign of eternity, evolution, and infinity, since it looks like a circle. So you know what, doc? You are the infinite of this show. Of this show, you are infinite. I feel that. Is that beautiful? Yep, sure is.

What kind of art do you think you would make with infinite? I'd probably make... Now, don't say a little statue of Hitler because now... You said you didn't like it. I would make a statue of an elephant. What does an elephant mean to you? Elephant is memory, massiveness. They're like good luck charms for Indian people.

So it's, you know... Go ahead and explain. I don't know much about it, but I know that Hindu people love elephants. Indian people are Hindu people. Pretty much the same. Pretty much the same. So all of it is Asians.

So all of the Asians... They're all of them. Yeah. Never seen an elephant in Korea. You've never seen one? Is there an elephant in the Philippines? No. No.

Well, they're not allowed. You can't swim? Well, they're just too big. Yeah, that's true. Too big. So you're saying there's no elephants in Korea? Walking around naturally? No.

Oh, no. Maybe in a zoo? Okay. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? There's no elephants walking around anywhere other than Africa naturally. In India?

I don't know if they walk freely, do they? They do. In India, they do. Well, they kill people all the time in India. We know that. See if there's elephants walk freely in India. No, no, they do. Do you know they trample people in India all the time?

Yeah. Don't you think it's wild to get trampled to death? That's one of the worst ways to die. Sheer weight crushing you? Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. Sheer weight.

Just heavy. Look at that. 500 people's deaths were caused by elephants. Oh my God. God. Which is funny because you would do that for your life. How did your dad die? Elephant.

By elephant? Yeah. I brought one into the fucking home. Can you imagine your dad? They were like, he's going to live. You brought a pet elephant? The reason why I'll never get trampled by an elephant is because I just feel like out of all the animals,

it's just the easiest to see. They're going to do. Do you not realize they can sneak up on you and kill you? But it's not like a snake where it's like a bush, it's, you know, and it gets you because they're. Elephants, I feel like you could see it maybe from. I'm telling you, dude. A half a mile away.

But when they're running at you, you can't get away from them. They're too fast and too big. Oh, so basically. Elephants can run like fucking 30 miles an hour. Get the fuck. I googled it. African bush elephant can run 25 miles an hour.

God damn. 25. You can run six. That's fine. But imagine you're out there. You're in India. And you see a dot in the distance. That's right.

And you and I are like. What is that? Is that just a dot? It's a barrage, a barrage. Yeah, we're thirsty. Yeah, we've been walking all day. Maybe it's like the sun in your eyes. Maybe it's like a little bigger.

Is that getting bigger? It's getting bigger. It's fine. Oh, no, the ground is shaking a little bit. It's shaking. It's fine. I think it's OK. No, because it's, you know, and then we're dead.

Yeah, yeah. That's how fast we feel. You think I don't think I would have no time. I don't think it goes from little dot to 25 miles an hour. Yeah, I just I know. And so fast. Can I just say this? Over the years, and you may disagree with me,

I have learned a little move called dodge. Dodge. Yeah. What is that through the years? I've just you may not have this ability, right? But I have a dodging. It's just an instinctual thing to just move out of the way. You think you're quick enough to dodge a fucking elephant?

Yeah. Let me answer this, right? You think they're you think they're like a race? An elephant would fucking kill you. I thought you didn't even move. That was poor, like a fucking bee. That was like eight. That was eight miles an hour.

This thing's coming at you 25. You're fucked. If the elephant's flute was that fast, it would just be the number one killer of anything on planet Earth. You son of a bitch. It would just be they would be a star. You would kick them off the face of the planet. There's no fucking way.

That was so fucking funny. All right, fuck you, dude. No, because think of this, right? They're not like a race car, right? You know what I mean? I think once you dodge, they have this ability. They don't have this ability to turn around really quickly. OK.

Good. Do man getting chased by elephant. And I'll show you what you're going to look like. Elephant chasing human due to foolish activity. And here's the problem. I don't do foolish activities in front of elephants. That you know of. No, because here's the problem.

All right. If they have their babies, they're really crazy protective. And if they've got babies, they're going to fucking kill you. If you're anywhere near it, look at that. Oh, you're fucked. And that elephant's chilling. He's not even running fast. Oh, he falls.

Oh, not the movie falls. See? See? Oh, there's Bobby trying to dodge. Oh, where are you going? Yeah. See, now he went the other way because they're shooting at him. He's still alive.

They're shooting at him. He's lucky that they were shooting and throwing stuff at him. Oh. OK, how about this? The next Bad Friends trip we're taking is to Africa. And we're going. And I'm going to make you outrun an elephant. Bro.

I'm going to make you out. So please donate to Bad Friends. Go to Africa. Ask Warney Adams. Ask Ian back. OK. What? I went to South Africa with them and we did a safari.

OK. I saw the elephant. OK. OK. And let me tell you this right now. They were so far away and I'm not doing. I'm not like that guy. You know what I mean, doing foolish things, man.

I'm not showcasing or anything in front of them, right? They don't even know I'm there. That's how far away I am. So when I went to South Africa and I did two months of shows there, they said to me, listen, Asians are third class citizens. I agree. And I go, OK. And they go, just let you know.

We would do a meet and greet. And I, you know, I know I would kill. You know, kill every show, right? Of course. Of course. No one said they would come to every comment and go, you were funny, you're funny. They would look at me and not even look at say anything.

No. I swear to God. White people and black people. Everyone. So so. No one said, good job. You know what I mean? And then check this out.

I judged a local comedy show there. Right. I was like the celebrity judge or whatever. Right. And the guy that won. Right. I walked out to him after his performance, after the show was over.

And I was with my girlfriend, Christine Pio, Pertillo at the time. And I tapped on the shoulder. I go, hey, man, I just want you to let you know. You fucking killed it, dude. And he just turned around and started talking to the other guy. Wow. Yeah.

How did that make you feel? Like a third class citizen? No, I went. I tried to ask Christine. I tried to go get back to my judges. To remove his win. Yeah. When is it going to change the number?

So vindictive. I wanted to change the number. Because we had an announcement. But was he the best? Yeah, he was. He was. Yeah, but. White guy, black guy?

Black guy. And then I complained like an asshole. You complained that he won? No, I went, this fucking asshole. You know what I mean? I fucking go say hi and say congratulations. He doesn't even look at me, right? And so he came to me because the winner got to do our show.

Oh, that night. No, like a week later. OK. So he shows up in a suit. And he's like, and Trevor knows everyone was there. And he comes up to me and goes, hey, I just want to let you know that I got knotted. What? He tried to make up for what happened.

He wouldn't let you wouldn't let him. No redemption. No, no. One and done with Bobby Lee. No. Really? Yeah. Well, we've got him here.

Raycon. I love earbuds. You know you do. And I love music. Yes, you do. And that's why I love Raycon. It's the most stylish thing that I can put in my ears. Moms are also often one of the few people in our lives

who still leave voicemails on our phones. That's right. Or call us to say hi. My mom does it every night. She does. So this Mother's Day, make that next mom call extra special. Spoil your mom with the gift of quality premium wireless audio courtesy of Raycon. These wireless earbuds are a must have for super moms.

All those masters of multitasking who need to keep their hands free with Raycons. They can stay entertained. Listen to their favorite podcast, Bad Friends, or music. Plus, take phone calls with vivid voice technology. Everything is hands free. Look, you know there's a bunch of little earbuds out there, but I got to tell you Raycon, the music quality, the style, the sleekness. It's beautiful.

And for moms on the go, Raycon offers eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life with their compact portable charging case. And they're priced very well, Bob. Raycons are user friendly for those moms who are just switching to wireless earbuds. Easy to set up, easy to use, and seamless Bluetooth pairing. Plus, they come in a bunch of fun color options. Get your mom the color that you think she would love. I like these things that I like to go for little runs.

I want to go for runs. I can't have wires smacking me in the face. So I like to have wireless earbuds in my ear. Tell them how they can get some Raycons, Bob. Tell mom how much you love her. And make sure she hears in crystal clear audio quality with Raycon. Go to buyraycon.com slash bad friends to get 15% off your mother's day order. That's buyraycon.com slash bad friends to get 15% off your mother's day order.

Bird dogs. I loved your shorts. Every time the summer time comes around, I look at your shorts. I ask you, where are you? Those are my bird dogs. Those are your bird dogs. The reason I like bird dogs is because I like to free ball. I'm free balling.

I like them to be out and about. Red testies. My little red testies. Yeah. And don't test me in my red testies. My bird dog shorts are my favorite because they come with liners already built in. I don't need to wear underwear. I can just put them on and take them off and be free as a bird and waggle my wiener all over the yard.

Bird dogs are stretchy. They're so comfortable. And stylish. They are very stylish. And you can wear them whether you're exercising, chilling at home, going to get a coffee with a friend. And they've got that beautiful inside lining is my biggest. That's my favorite thing about it because in the summertime,

your underwear is ever get stuck. Oh, yeah. Get creasy in your in your butt. Oh, yeah. Bird dogs take care of that. If you want to try bird dogs for yourself, which I highly recommend you should go to birddogs.com, enter that code badfriends,

and they're going to throw in a free bird dogs dad hat. That's birddogs.com, promo code badfriends. And boom, a free bird dogs dad hat with your pair of bird dogs. Get you downstairs ready for summer with bird dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you. Do you want to say to him now he's a successful comic. He's on a very popular podcast now.

What was his name? Fakago. Well, here's Fakago. Fakago, please tell him how you feel after all these years. You know, I've always hated you. OK. What happened to your accent? What was my accent?

Your South African. From South Africa. Oh, OK. Oh, OK. Bobby, was it good? Keep going. I like that. Bobby, good guy, maybe to your brother.

Stop. You're like eating, I mean, it sounds very... What is that? Are you Native American? I don't know. I can't even do accent. You smell like blood diamonds. Let me tell you, whenever y'all ask me to do an accent,

I can only do Doc Wallace. No, I like it. I like that. I think you put that. All right. Hint, hint, Doc. That's why we make you do it. No.

To make me fucking look stupid. OK. No, not stupid. Not stupid. Not stupid. Not stupid. Go ahead. Not stupid.

Go ahead. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm going to say something about you. You are, you are special. OK, thank you. You have a heart of gold. Thank you. And you can kiss my ass about that.

Oh, he didn't like you. See, after all this time. Yeah, I never liked you. Yeah, you went one way and then went the other way. I never liked you. OK. That's right. Are you Irish?

I've never liked you. He did a little Idris Alba there, too. A little Idris Alba, yeah. Very good. Can we get you, would you be cool with us getting like an acting coach or something like that with you? Like a voice coach, maybe. Voice coach.

I think you can act. I think you can act, right? OK, a dialect coach, like a voice coach. I had an acting class with Stephen Snyder. Who was Stephen Snyder? Who was the teacher? Stephen Snyder. Oh, I don't even know who that is.

Am I stupid? Did you take acting class? Have you seen my work? No. Not fucking terrible. No, I never took an acting class. I took Brian Reed for a while. I took.

I never did. Laura Henry, Meisner technique. I did that for a year. I thought about trying to do one. Leslie Kahn is very big here in Los Angeles. She's very famous. Have you done Meisner? Because they do. Have you done repetition?

Well, I did performance technique in college. Yeah. So that. You know what repetition is? Yeah. Where I say, you have a nice black hat. You have a nice black hat? I have a nice black hat?

I have a nice black hat? I have a nice black hat? I have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat. I have a nice black hat. And they just do, I don't know what it, what's the point of it? To change inflection?

and all that stuff and yeah because you can say things the same way differently like watch yeah i love bobby lee you love bobby lee i love bobby lee you love bobby lee i love bobby lee you love bobby lee bobby lee you love bobby lee bobby lee bobby lee but imagine you spent four hundred dollars a week doing that you gave the guy the money and you're sitting there with a white dude a handsome white dude from like you know me who does that virginia some kid that just moved out there yeah and you're doing that for an hour and you're like that's 400 back then also i had no money no money yeah so it's like i just spent half my money doing this and once you go home you're trying to think am i just too dumb to know why that worked or did i just really get fucking ripped off for 400 you did yeah you got

because then you actually go to a set and you don't use doesn't exist it doesn't exist no you just do whatever just say your line yeah you know man you're you're acting just say your line i want to say something real yeah i want to say something about your boy david show who i love to death he's the best he his performance on this thing beef i think he's dude it's gonna look i don't know anything but he is so good yeah he's a natural no i mean so there's some scenes where i'm like he's incredible this he i i don't like to do that thing but something about i think he'll get um recognized for this work oh i'm sure you will it's very it's a big show dude congratulations i'm it's not i'm not i'm not i know but you're part of it congratulations not really yeah you are half of the scenes you

don't see my face yeah you're fine i'm not gonna reveal why but one day i showed up and they were i was like i was like why am i here two days two hours early yeah she's like her and makeup i'm like you don't see my fucking head yeah i'm not even in the thing you don't see me you know what i did in reservation dogs they had a club scene and they're like a night club yeah night club where everyone's dancing and i'm just dancing right and i'm like where's the camera like i'm kind of like where's the camera that way over there they can't see you yeah and i go okay but i have to be here yeah they they see you right okay they go action i lay on my back and i'm just on my form playing tetris right for like two hours yeah and then i got up and they're like okay we're moving on

didn't see you liars liars liars fucking liars but you're a giver and you will participate and i participate you did a good job yeah yeah i want to tell you something i sent fancy this this is how deep our show stretches show them that video so i got sent injie schultz sent me this video that's online a guy is a tow truck driver and people are recording you did and he's what look at that look everyone look in the corner there what he's watching a little bit of bad friends if you start the video again you can see he's watching bad friends up planted again look at that look at that isn't that fucking great yeah and this guy is driving you know if you keep keep keep going you can see there's another angle of looking at he's towing this car and he didn't he must have not

hitched it right yeah but holy shit look at that that's a but that is a bad friends fan if i've ever seen one what's great about our show fucking that car you can do things like that and still participate that's right that's a great fan we love that guy whoever he is i hope he reaches out to us like when you're in the warehouse at amazon do you listen to our show no have you ever heard our show you know little bits here and there clips you mean yeah clips you're on youtube yeah they show a little bit here but you never like listen to it no yeah this is a picture i wanted to bring to bring to light real quick uh not a fan this is such a pervert photo if the show show me a more perverted angle than guy oh gross that's george i sort of i thought oh my god i thought you were

doing a fucking thing like look at this fucking idiot that i saw on the internet i mean those words are still real i was looking at the hand first and the way he's holding the glass like a fucking moron look at this and i looked at the face like i like that's george we're gonna do a segment every week called look at this fucking idiot yeah and this is week one look at this fucking idiot he posted this and i wrote why yeah he posted it online sure did that's where i grabbed instagram you better believe it i cannot believe that's his post by the way yeah let's analyze this photo yeah who who who the fuck is he cheering with that thing who like who is that too what is it what is that well you know he has chickens that live there right i know this is outside this is

outside his house yes so that's chicken he's tending to the oh that's chicken juice i don't know if that's chicken juice you think you're telling me george drinks chicken juice no i think he's toasting to a chicken oh that makes sense that's what i meant so the chicken is like yeah and he's like bonjour bonjour chicken yeah bonjour chicken george has chickens yeah yeah what for him he's a farmer and shit what is he's from the farm he's a farmer he's a farmer he's a farmer i don't know yeah he's also white whites are allowed to have all these weird things and nobody can question it that is goddamn true like you if you watch the dodo bird right do you ever watch dodo on on youtube never it's a series is dodo animals and um so sometimes it's like dodo bird

it's a show it's called dodo dodo i've never seen this before right there the dodo oh i've seen all them animals right but it's like whenever it's like you know a white it's always a white family that has the squirrel or a raccoon yeah or you're a marsupial they're saving right it's never like a korean going look i found a baby squirrel outside of my front door and i put you know i i i tend to it no it's like no it's in the it's in the fucking kimchi jjigae you know what i mean there's there's no way there's no way well they're not going to show off their meal are you going to get off of are you going to get off a twitter now that ilan muskowns it it you know people are protesting and they're trying to get the fuck off twitter i don't know

what so politically is he right is he what correct right or left it's just political i think he's pretty central i think he's probably just as long as he doesn't like you know he's a pretty central character as far as i'm concerned you think he'll bring bring trump back and let trump have his well first of all trump trump publicly said he doesn't want to be back on twitter so oh yeah because he has the truth one yeah his own thing he's promoting it's a bit like keithler marjorie green wants to be get her a fucking personal account reinstated sure you think he'll do that probably yeah i think everyone should be able to be on there dude i that's where all my heart ache is twitter so i never look at it it's gross it's disgusting my biggest it'll ruin my day but

don't you think everyone should be allowed to be on twitter yeah i don't understand like who gets to decide what's the fucking what's good to put out to the world there's so much bullshit on there any the weird thing to me about kicking trump off twitter was even if you fucking hated trump more than anything in the world okay yeah you hate trump fine i understand there's fucking porno on there yeah but there's girls spreading their asshole my little kid can scroll and watch a girl farting cum out of her butthole on twitter but you don't want this psycho on there what's the difference they're both but it's the girl farting cum starting an insurrection she might be all right maybe she's saying maybe she's saying you know february 9th let's go let's go fart come on the

capital i think that's the one cool thing that's happened over the last that's the culture shift yeah in what regard what do you mean i just lgbt and all that stuff what do you what do you like about it i don't i just like the voiceless having a voice okay yeah and being seen okay well i there's some woke parts of me i know that everything slept no but i understand but i'm lost over what you mean what do you mean sounds so phony no you don't believe it i don't believe we don't you believe you think he's saying that because he's pandering yeah just let me ask you something have you let me ask you something pal hey let me ask you something pal you you think i'm a panda a little bit okay in what way is that the only well for this particular situation yeah you

just saw the pictures and then what you just got rainbow happiness all in your heart no no no you guy you know because um there was a documentary called the case on prop 8 right and i've seen that documentary 15 times i love you know um you counting what you actually count yeah i've seen it a lot of times um the howling's worth first verse parry that's a great documentary it's on hpl it's a great book yeah and i cry every time i see that documentary okay okay i um but what but he's asking he still thinks what i don't like is that he thinks that i don't he thinks that the pandering thing and i'm not arguing with you i'm just stating my case okay this is that um i'm obsessed with if you look at my um documentary um on my um apple tv that i think most of them are

gay documentaries okay about the right their rights and about their struggles and whatnot and um i really resent that you said that i still don't believe you it's like a fucking it's not there it's still go ahead yeah what what i don't know what what what ask me why you tell me why you don't believe it i've never heard you talk about like the gay struggle and like oh i want to until like now yeah you know i'm saying so it's funny there's a lot yeah there's a lot of things that people don't know you know how like some people switch teams they go oh you know what i ain't in the lake of tomorrow i'm a clipper that's like his oh you're saying he's switching sides because it's oh i was like i'm a ronda santas i'm a ronda santas don't say gay he said you're a band wagon

gay fan you jumped on her gay wagon and you probably jumped on the gay wagon and you probably jumped on the pro boys in the little wild that's how bobby is are you jumping on the gay band wagon are you gonna be wagon or wagon you're just jumping on all these wagons are you blm are you jumping on that wagon too are you jumping on the black lives matter movement wagon here's the thing i switching it i see this a lot the thing is is this because am i angry i have to go back to my original i do like when we trap you in the thing that you have to wiggle out of i have to i'm talking about i'm gonna you're a mouse that we put in a little maze what what what i don't like is is when i'm like when i was in just hear me out when i was in oklahoma right i was talking to

somebody and they were like oh i have i have seven animals and they got oh that's weird and you don't seem like somebody that just throughout the years i've seen you on television things just don't seem like somebody that likes animals right when i'm just obsessed with them right there's a lot of things that i'm like in terms of the the reason why blm is happening like in terms of the atrocities that happen between you know the police and you know black people do you believe that from trevon martin to you know you believe him it's good right okay are things that i'm obsessed with i follow the trials i and i you know anything that's oppressive you know i mean i just don't like oppression and authority right and um i'm fully against it because i was i'm a

kid from trauma and my dad was like that my dad was abusive and controlling and i hate that's why i hate trump you know i mean i just don't like any of that shit and i fight against it so yeah um when i see gay people kissing in the middle of the street it makes me feel happy okay what does it do to you doc you get an erection that's why you attacked me that's why i believe i believe this i believe that you're gay you believe that i'm gay yeah yeah because you're you have a family a history of gayness right yeah and i think that you're back to that again i think you're the serial killer i think you killed your own uncle that's my theory pal right so you go you go against me i go against you as well okay wait a minute yeah is this uh you're undecided i'm sorry you know what you're a

nice guy i want to be mindful and i want to be nice to you you you can criticize me all you want i'm not defensive and let's just move on let's just move on yeah let's just move on y'all want to move on to some men in black shit some what men in black type shit yeah yeah and let's do this all right go ahead play the video now trip off this all right so i was watching this video right and usually i watch these alien shit i feel like man this shit is fake and i can't get through it it's like but i try to collect information yeah so i go to work the next day girl asked me hey can you show me the files for the for the pregnancies i said yeah i'll show you right quick so i showed the files and i said let me read a little bit i'm reading the fucking files and

the fucking files match the fucking video that i was watching check this shit out this shit is good shit played a clip played clip stop for a second can you stop for a second what files remember we did the the files about the alien pregnancies the unknown pregnancies on earth we did that on the show a little bit ago i understand that he's saying he was reading these files but where i just i forget just uh reeducate me about what did he bring in legitimate files no no there's a screen right here the pdf it's right here it's a pdf it's from the defense intelligence agency and basically the di a says that there there was aliens that came here there's proof and there might have been some pregnancies okay i remember now okay that's on page 24 if

you want to scroll down my god man so let's see the fucking video to watch the video so the video you're okay this is watching this shit and what happened was that he came home one night went into his bedroom and suddenly these three dark shadowy figures materialized through his wall into his bedroom they were wearing the hats and the overcoats they had scary eyes and they stopped there scary okay i'm that's in the pdf watch hold up hold up now play finish playing the rest of that well let's talk about this only moment to moment let's talk about it can we just do that okay so if you walk in your house and three black figures go down on the page number 20 well they're also dressed up like 1950s p.i so there's the pregnancies right there see in 24 yeah say

unaccountable pregnancy right there uh-huh okay now okay go down to 27 because remember they said the three black spirits that came through yeah so right here they classify anomalies at the bottom yeah for the type of nominees that people deal with so we need your motor morph right now do you know can you read those liners anomalies which have no lasting physical effects i.e amorphous lights unexplained explosions anomalies which which do have lasting physical effects poltergeist materialized objects areas of flattened grass corn circles anomalies which have associated entities ghosts yeti spirits elves and other mystical legendary entities witnesses interaction with the a and three entities near death experiences religious miracles and visions obes out of body

experiences anomalies report of injuries and deaths i.e sshc spontaneous human combustion unexplained wounds as well as permanent healing that results from a paranormal experience this is what the fuck so this is like do how they categorize the anomalies that people have seen and bed and this is from the da this is a di this is from the pentagon these are these are testimonies from witnesses telling these people correct it's not there's no proof there's no proof wait we can get to the good shit and i played the rest of the video right quick okay now last is according to bender the three entities community stop what's what i will play according to bender who's bender the guy that's talking about the fucking thing the guy you know the guy that

they're talking about yeah so he's saying that he said that yeah according to him yeah i can see all kinds of shit according to me okay yeah okay all right and the johnny jeb trial that gets you don't work here say this is all here say it's all here it's all here say let's go here say warning to discontinue his ufo research and stop publishing his influential magazine the space review afterwards he became ill and didn't eat for three days after this experience bender was repeatedly visited he said they gave him headaches they they controlled him telepathically and he ultimately gave up his ufo researchers okay that's it right there cut it off now see what he said they instilled fear telepathically and was giving him headaches right now yeah go back to the goddamn

documents and go up to page number four we need your fucking mouth on this one again god damn no watch this page number four four the number four there we go now go right there read at the bottom where say examples tino examples of systems in the in scum analysis described as real and potential include precisely those asserted by good observers and victims of injury consistent with near field rf em n i e m r thermal infos infrasonic and coherent light laser effects now go down page five now started a bullet point number three ability to instill fear secondary to above including the use of messaging and rf carrier wave modulated intracranial voices through thermo elastic expansion of intracranial spaces at five kilohertz then ability to cause frontal temporal headaches with

one with with millimeter with mm waves right and then you go down a little bit more now that he got a minute black right there see it use of pulsated microwaves to temporarily interfere with short-term spatial memory what you see this video right this is them saying what people have said to them now it's been no no no that's if you go back you got to go back and read it it's saying what they've done scientifically typically and what they diagnosed that they've proved that this exists there you go who the d i a the go the pentagon it sounds like something that some some guy told them this but they're not there's how are you able to observe those things scientifically what is carlos trying to you would have to you would listen the scientists would have to be

there at the moment when all this shit was happening you know those three ghosts coming in that look like dick tracy you mean i don't know why they're just like that but they're like you know i mean yeah they were yeah and they they're coming in they would have to have facilities set up you know made sensors a lab technicians people observing it when that was happening but if they weren't there it's all hearsay after that but here's the thing the video and the video is just an is just what i was saying is the video is based this is the script of that video right that's why it's like no they're not they're not telling us they're two separate things they're not two separate things they are that's just uh ancient ambience right there that's just something i just

saw okay right yeah and i'm saying to you i'm going through the paperwork and then i'm reading that and i'm like oh shit that the fucking youtube people even got this information from this you don't think you're the only one that has access to this doc this been out before that guy what he what has got these papers have just been released right but they've had these papers probably right no oh so some guy just came up with these papers two weeks ago let me see yeah they're a pentagon just released these right but they had them classified in some file that's been there forever right right so you saying it just leaked out into no no but i don't i have no idea i don't know who knows who i don't know the fucking fact right go up to the top of this document rudy what do you

think about all this stuff i think it's just bullshit thank you rudy and now you get to stay in the house doc you also had a headache when you came in here yeah do you think you're imagining the headache because so now you want to fucking know he's asking a question i'm just wondering no do you still have a headache yes okay okay let me ask you doc that's where i can't undo time up have you experienced any of these things no you've never been contacted by a spirit uh nothing no well i've been in dreams and then at the comedy store i saw what i saw saw a ghost so then yes the answer is yes yeah then yeah i would say yeah who'd you see gus no have you seen gus who the fuck is gus you you've never seen gus no do you have to do with the suit and the hat on yeah at the comedy store

i've seen him i've seen him the the guys i really have so have i yeah we'll say it at the same time one two three mitzi's office oh i was gonna thank you for me thank you for being i saw him i saw him up in the stairwell by mitzi's old office yeah i've seen him in that area i saw him behind the window you mean from the top of the building looking down at me yes upstairs upstairs yeah it's always upstairs fuck all of y'all saw him i haven't seen you've never seen this but would you see i saw like something look like a thug that's gus but no no this was like he's a guy he's wearing a guy in a mirror i thought it was it was joe tori it was a tori but i thought it was actually like yorsey in a mirror but it wasn't it was a ghost oh so was he black yeah oh yeah i like my ghost

white yeah it's scarier when they're black scarier when they're black candy man vibe that's a good thing i like my ghosts white yeah i just i can't i can't do black ghosts yeah i can't they gotta be white yeah so y'all actually flying around so y'all don't really believe what the pentagon is saying y'all think no no no look i think that document is saying what people have said they're they're documenting what people have experienced versus what they have proofed actually took place they're just saying here is a list of people that have described these things less so than here's proof that we know these things existed right like like you can say when they've documented all the different symptoms of covid for different people and the long-lasting effects

for long haulers and stuff the range is insane some people say like their feet hurt or they swell more and they tingle some people say that their taste is forever changed the way that they tasting there's other scientists that say yeah but all these things can be a product of everything else in your life right your diet your sleep schedule so this is the same way of saying to these people they experienced these lists of things but we can't point to where they were man how they manifested it also they have a paranormal and a department they're called the x-files you should watch the show molder and scully they work there no my point is is that you know they they also probably have you know files on paranormal things like ghosts and spirits and that here's what i believe i believe

that all of that stuff did happen to these people but they've manifested it yeah i think the brain is so powerful that we literally manifest those realities to take place and so they do so it is real it happened to them but it's also unavailable for other people to access do you know who robert william aprivias you do you do right right you know robert william aprivi right i love so imagine him these aliens when i was sleeping in the tent you know i mean and and he comes and he talks to the fbi do would you believe him if he saw it i mean it's nothing to believe with extra treasures that's the problem with everybody everybody's like this ain't santa claus it's not bigfoot extra terrestrials is somebody that has the ability to get to us but we can't get to them that's real

that's a that's a real why couldn't we get to them because we don't have the capability physical capabilities that they have as far as technology but here's what i'm confused about what's that why would they want to see us because then we're not that's the there's no logic into why people why people do that because neil degrasse tyson explained this one time that was pretty interesting like would you ever try to talk to an ant yeah but would you ever try to talk to an ant yeah but that's still you're using your own logic on what you think we can only use our own logic yes yes that's all we have but they if they have another agenda it doesn't matter what you think no but my point is if you're so advanced in your species is so unbelievably advanced you could never talk

speak english to an ant it would be literally impossible to document the ant no but imagine but imagine another force is so much smarter than us why would it waste his time with us if we're the ant for whatever their agenda is now see we don't fuck with ants you just keep moving but that's just a logic that you're enjoying until they get in your kitchen and then you're like fucking ants what if we what if the aliens already have us and planet earth is a human farm like we have ant farms yeah i believe that we captured ants but put them in a little thing well i gotta tell you and the ants have no idea they're just doing their business doing their work this and that what if we are just an expert like a thing that they in some aliens house this

has been explored before people have thought about this yeah but also fine they're doing a great job whatever you're doing is great yeah what do we care thanks for making us such good great show yeah yeah if this was their idea yeah fuck yeah aliens yeah they're like we have to watch these guys together do a podcast all right let me tell you something i love you doc love you too all this shit is insane and i want you to keep but i want you to keep exploring it and keep bringing new evidence to the show every single week every week you do please please because you know what slowly you're gonna crack you're gonna crack us okay well let's do this what about sifa and diva okay do you want to save that for next week let's see what's sifa oh yeah we'll save it

for next let's save it you come back the next episode please right okay we'll talk about sifa and diva okay right we'll talk about whatever you want to talk all right all right um everybody has an assignment also for next week is bring something to the cookout everyone has to bring something here to the cookout i'm gonna bring your potato salad and we'll have a good episode will be a cookout episode how about this you bring him potato salad you bring him kimchi okay okay we'll taste each other's shit i'll bring i'll bring potatoes and beer all right you you bring something all right so guys great episode thank you for being a bad friend thank you