Bad Friends - Two Nuts in Cohoots

Starting point is 00:00:00 Here we are! Hey y'all! Hey! We're launching a Patreon! That's right, patreon.com slash bad friends! And you get more than more! You get more than more! Not only do you get the episode on Friday instead of Monday! You get it Friday! And free! And free!

Starting point is 00:00:15 So you get the episode at free on Friday instead of on Monday and... You get extra bonus content! And you know, we're stuff! Like this! The bad friends port is now in session Honorable judge Bobby Lee and honorable judge Andrew Santino presided let's hear it here Daniel Ortiz versus his brother. He wants to take his brother to core because of dog support We need a better read we need a better read it. It's me. Someone speak say mama claims the Tony's retoria employees broke into her restaurant and stole her secret recipe

Starting point is 00:00:46 for the legendary perfect pizza. Whoa. Pizza gate. Pizza gate. We know the secret sauce on the counter. Three, one, two, three. Hello. Hello, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Starting point is 00:00:57 She's stuck in the... Hold on, hold on. Everybody got a speaker. Hello. Holy. Alex! Are you with the bad friends? Hola like a pal. You have to press one What's up? You're on these two cool next

Starting point is 00:01:11 Regan snap hoodie up there in Canada take a couple of pucks in her slid a are you Mormon? How thick is it how How thick is it? Nobody cares. She has a fiance. She has a fiance. Hey, what's up? What does he work at? The factory.

Starting point is 00:01:38 I'm a huge fan of the podcast. Who do you like more? We love you and I hope you don't get deported anytime soon. Goodbye. So, patreon.com slash bad friends. What is it, Bob? Patreon.com slash bad friends. I gotta do it. The link is in the description below.

Starting point is 00:01:52 You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo, I do. You're an Asian. You two are disgusting. Woo, I'll you two or something. I'm bad friends. Here we go. Here we go. I didn't like that beginning. Well, we should say that. I'm a YouTube or something. I'm bad friends. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:02:05 Here we go. I didn't like that beginning. Well, we should say that. I didn't talk about movies. We should say we're missing one of our favorite people here because he's back in Espanya and we sending all of our love to fancy B. Thank you. Thank you, fancy B.

Starting point is 00:02:17 We love you. We miss you. I said thank you. That was ridiculous. No, no, thank you. It was also nice. Thank you. We can fit it for being here.

Starting point is 00:02:25 He's not here, but I'm here. Bye. Bye. Okay. He's gone. I love him. I miss him. I miss him But we have Carlos here who got a brand new car. Yes Carlos got a brand new car. Yeah, why why don't you show it off? Show it off to everybody new car new puppy. Yeah, and new apartment is the puppy still alive?

Starting point is 00:02:38 It's at its bar right get him on the second. This is the car. Yeah, that's right. He got a brand new Mercedes. Oh my god. So insane. Damn that tour paying you. Yeah, what the fuck? How much did we pay this? I did get it from a tour and I thanked Andrew for he did very graciously. Yeah. A brand new C 300 sedan what color black? Black. Yeah, I got it in black. Wow. Honestly, how does he afford that? We it's a down payment. We gave him 600 grand for the tour. I think that's what we paid him Now, but it's a good looking car congrats because you got to a gig on a car actually new car Oh, I just don't know how you what you go like Honda Civic. I mean why that because it's sick. I know what the thing is I Need cuz it's sick, dude. I'm gonna live in my car, Mark.

Starting point is 00:03:26 I just said that, but where do you work? I hear with us. I'm here with you. Yeah, I know, but my mind is like, because I kind of know what you're making here. I don't know why you would buy a system expensive car. Well, actually, I'm getting money from the insurance for my other car.

Starting point is 00:03:38 There's a lot of money in here. Okay, okay. And you're rich, Dad. Yeah, that's okay, good. But also, also from the insurance, look, about his back hurts, you know what I mean? Oh, that's a. Good. But also also from the insurance look about his back hurts You know what I mean? Oh, that's a great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You spines broke I didn't get the car the day I went to the dealership because my dad still needs to do the co-signing and stuff

Starting point is 00:03:54 So they're really your dad's doing it. Yeah, he's co-signing. He's co-signing how he can't get the lease on his own What's your credit score genuinely? You're like 260? That will no it's like it's below Three it's gotta be below three. No, it's like it's below three. It's got to be below three. It's got to be kidding. No it's like 720 or something like. Whoa. It's really good. Well that's good.

Starting point is 00:04:11 That's really good. But for like a Benzo you can't you you would have to put a lot of money for that. You have to have a really good credit for a Benz. What's your credit score do you know? It's I surprise I think it's like 720 which is kind of embarrassing. It's really Carlos. What's embarrassing? I've been alive longer. kind of embarrassing. It's lower than Carlos. What's embarrassing? I've been alive longer, I paid bills.

Starting point is 00:04:27 I just started establishing credit. Yeah, that's right, we got you on credit now, finally. Yeah, it's fun. I can look up my credit score right now on my city app. What's, you guys wanna see what it is? Let's hear what it is. What's my FICO score? I know, it's in the 800.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Bobby, what's going on with you? I just don't like this direction. Okay, let's start over. 865. Oh my God, yeah. You get a boat. Should we buy a boat? just don't like this direction. Okay, let's start over 865. Oh my god. Yeah, you get a boat. Yeah, should we buy a boat? All right, Bob, let's see. I don't know how to even get out credits to go or it's a you established credit by you have How many credit cards you have my bunch? I've always had them. You probably has perfect credit Yeah, do you pay them off every month? Oh, yeah, well then you're done. Yeah, you're good

Starting point is 00:05:00 You got great. I don't know how to get the actual Google Bobby Lee credit score We're not be funny like net worth they put up with your credit score is it your shifts publicly? It's your net worth right now nothing. No, pay your own bill. No, I can't imagine him do it. It's so funny Six months ago. I was at one million wow 10 million net worth million. That's insane five four. That's wrong I'm five you're three you're four all right five three what the fuck month wait that's me it says you make a Quarter million a month wow that's pretty impressive what's good for you Bob. I don't know that's a mate I don't make it at all. Well Steve Bennett says you do. Yeah, Steve Bennett says Well look go look up Andrew on that

Starting point is 00:05:41 Look up Andrew on that does that embarrassing this is. Go ahead. Go andro's. You know what, they're gonna go user not found. No, you're on there for sure. Yeah, I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you. I told you.

Starting point is 00:05:55 I'm not famous like Bobby's a famous. I know Bobby's a famous. Yeah, I did that hurt. You're a fucking idiot. Look at this. No, he got hurt. Look, there's nothing on there. He got hurt, look at you. He got hurt, look are you looking at? Look at this thing. He got hurt. Look, there's nothing on there.

Starting point is 00:06:05 He got hurt looking at you. He got hurt looking at you. I saw it in your face. You got hurt. You got hurt that you were found. No, I just told you. I said you are not found. I know what I'm out.

Starting point is 00:06:14 I know what I'm out. I know what I'm out. I know what I'm out. Where is it? Where is it say it? I'm out of here. I'm so sad. I'm so sad you were found.

Starting point is 00:06:24 I'm so sad you were found. I'm so sad you were found. Yeah, you're not five million. Oh, shit. I'm so sorry, dude. No, you blew this up. I don't, I really, I'm the one that called it out. Oh my god, that was so sad. Why would I care?

Starting point is 00:06:35 I hope it's never found. Never, ever, ever. He take away. He's blushing. Oh god, that was so funny. Any way let's move on. Holy shit. You know, you're the greatest gas lighter I've ever seen.

Starting point is 00:06:48 I've ever seen. To make up something out of absolutely nothing. Yeah, yeah. It's like it's- I'm the best at it. He's probably- I play Master of Gasping. It is a narcissistic skill that you possess.

Starting point is 00:06:57 I don't have narcissism. Bob. I don't have narcissism. Bobbi. Yeah. No, I have empathy for things. I cry every day up for thing excessive interest in Admiration of oneself or one's physical I don't the second half know the latter part know

Starting point is 00:07:11 But admiration of oneself No, you know that I'm I feel like I'm a piece of shit. I don't deserve anything That's not true. I do that's my rule. That's my whole thing Oh, I do. That's my whole thing. Is it? I bombed, I suck. But knowing it's your thing makes it not your thing, then. All I hear is I am eating.

Starting point is 00:07:30 I'm eating. No, if I'm just in that zone, yeah, I mean, it's never good. I would never set your narcissism. You're not. You're definitely not. I mean, narcissists does this, right? They'll purposely not feed their dog to watch them suffer. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:07:45 No, no, that's different. That's animal abuse. That's not, no, no, no, no, that's what narcissists do though. No, narcissists, they would like to see things suffer. No, no, no, that's shout-in-froida. Yeah. Which what's shout-in-froida? Shout-in-froida is getting enjoyment from other people's pain.

Starting point is 00:07:59 That's shout-in-froida. But that's still a part of it. Massacism is the enjoyment. But that's still a personality trait within narcissists. I don't think so. These are two separate things. Because narcissism is just self-involved. Massacism refers to the enjoyment of experience pain

Starting point is 00:08:13 while sadism refers to the enjoyment of inflicting pain. So sadist like watching other things suffer. Massacus like, I mean, if I was a narcissist, why would I go on a darkness retreat? Let's get you on that darkness retreat, baby. So it's like, you know, why would I do that? Cause it's all about you.

Starting point is 00:08:31 No, it's because I'm in pain. I wanna use, because I hate myself. No. I really, you don't hate yourself. Yeah, yes, that's it. So it's like, why would I have my melony, what? What? What? You looked at my, well, Melanie, what? What? What?

Starting point is 00:08:46 You looked at Carlos, what'd you just do? She's a friendship, I, hello. What? What? What are you doing? I just saw you do something like this and then, we did what's going on here. What are you doing? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Oh, what in God's name is going on here?

Starting point is 00:09:05 What are you afraid of right now? I'm not afraid of anything. I'm just saying, you guys have sort of fucking, no, no, no, there's no kuhuts. You're communicating in your own language with your eyes. There's no kuhuts. There's kuhuts there. There's no kuhuts.

Starting point is 00:09:19 This is riddled with kuhuts. Stop it, go ahead. There's podcasts right now. It's riddled with kuhuts and I want to get to the bottom of it. Pete, yeah, yeah. Make it. Yeah, yeah, make sure Yeah, that's what I'm saying stop doing that. What? We cut that out or you know, we didn't say clip. There's no clips. There is no clip. Yeah, Pete Okay, thank you anyway, what I'm saying is is gonna go get it get it Pete get it. Oh my god

Starting point is 00:09:40 What are you getting? No, I know nothing's happening nothing. We're good. Something is happening. Something is happening here. Let me ask you something. I don't have. What is going on? Dude, major cahoots. By the way, love the word cahoots. Yeah. I don't even know where I came from,

Starting point is 00:09:57 but I love the word cahoots. But there's something going on though. There is no cahoots. Yeah, there is. How do you, well, look up cahoots. Where does that come from? Man, I love cahoots. In cahoots. Colluding or consp is. Look up Kahoot's, where does that come from? Man, I love Kahoot's. In Kahoot's.

Starting point is 00:10:06 Colluding or conspired. That's exactly what it is. Good. Probably, let me say something. You've always been a colluder, dude. Cooter. I've been cootin' my whole life. I know, it's in 1829.

Starting point is 00:10:17 Southern and Western American English have known origin, perhaps the French. Kahoot. Cabin-Hoot. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha hoot. Oh, it's from some cohort. It's just Redneck couldn't say cohort. Yeah, they're not there. Cahoot, Cahoot.

Starting point is 00:10:29 Cahoot, down there. Well, you know they out there. Oh, it's Cahoot. Run, turn, turn. Run, turn, Cahoot. Anyway, so I'm going to this darkness for treat. I'm going to go in January. Can I go with you?

Starting point is 00:10:42 The new hamster. You don't know what it is. Yes, I do. It's when you spend five days in complete darkness yeah It's great and when I talked to a complicated I was like I said I was gonna go to a darkness retreat because you go into Baltimore and I go that's racist That is I'm not going to possible. I go but my point is is this I'm gonna I'm gonna do it for five days I think that's gonna be good for you to find myself because um You know I'm really sensitive lately. Are days. I think that's gonna be good for you. And to find myself because, you know,

Starting point is 00:11:05 I'm really sensitive. Lately, are you feeling on edge? Yeah, I've been like, you know, some weird things online and I read things about myself and it really bones me out. Cut it out. What? Stop reading.

Starting point is 00:11:16 I know, I just stopped. It's hard not to. It's hard not to, but then I, so the other day I couldn't sleep because I had read some weird things about myself online and then I called my girl Melanie and I go get me a darkness retreat. And so we booked it, cost thousands of dollars

Starting point is 00:11:32 but I'm gonna do it. How much? It was like a thousand dollars. But then without the plane tickets and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, it's a whole thing. Well, I'm going on a retreat. Where? I'm going to Bora Bora

Starting point is 00:11:48 It's so funny. Go on the four seasons. No Dude, that was a kuhu's laugh, bro Yeah, what is going on? Yeah, I just said he said Bora Bora you laugh that wasn't necessarily that funny I know it's so what are you laughing about that I already knew the story? There's something going on already right right. He's coming with me To Bora Bora. Bora Bora. How come I can't go to Bora? Yeah, why me?

Starting point is 00:12:09 Just Carlos and I. To Bora's only. Because I've been to Bora. Yeah, look, Bora Bora. Oh, Bora Bora Bora. All right, so why can't we, we could, Bora Bora Bora. We can't say you want to go to Bora Bora.

Starting point is 00:12:22 Let's do Bora Bora. I'm going there. I can't wait. Show him what it looks like over's do Bora, Bora, Bora. I'm going there. I can't wait. Show him what it looks like over the huts over the water, you know? Well, not that image. Give me the fucking hot water image. Oh my gosh, it's beautiful. Yeah, I'm going to be, yeah, one of those huts.

Starting point is 00:12:33 Yeah, one of those. No way. Yeah, it's not fucking wild. I hope a tsunami happens. Thank you. Whoa, look at that one with the pool. Yeah, yeah, we got one with a pool, baby. Are you kidding me?

Starting point is 00:12:44 I'm not cool. You put me in your pool. Yeah, yeah, we got one with the pool, baby. Are you kidding me? Mer-mer-mer cool. You put me in your suitcase. Yeah, I'm actually getting, I'm actually getting doordas though. You can't, like how do you get doordas there? No, no, they do, they sell doordas. Yeah. Yeah, they do.

Starting point is 00:12:56 Really? No, they come in on little prop planes. Oh, wow. I'm going here, so I'm going here for my 40th birthday. It was my birthday gift to myself. Who's going to your wife? Yeah. And Carlos. Yeah, and Carlos, my'm going here. So I'm going here for my 40th birthday. It was my birthday gift to myself. Who's going your wife? Yeah, and Carlos. Yeah, and Carlos my wife and Carlos. Because car I go I got to take care of the dog. He's got to take care of the popping stuff We want to like along for the ride and also, you know

Starting point is 00:13:17 I can't reach my back with sunscreen. Sometimes she sleeps in and Carlos will do that. Yeah, Carlos also said he would cook our meals Clip my doughnuts. He's zoom in to that red spot. That's where borer borers. That's way out. Oh shit dude. Middle and nowhere. Oh my god. Oh my god. Isn't that scary? It's so scary. What are these other islands? Go down a little bit. Well it's French Polynesia. So it's there's Tahiti and all that stuff is down there. Oh what's French Polynesia? No the French and the Polynesians got together and they decided they'll split it. Oh really? Yeah. Oh I want to go there. So the French part is the northern part, the gay part, and the southern one is Polynesian. Oh, I'm gonna go to the south part there. I'm staying in the north.

Starting point is 00:13:52 Yeah, yeah, go to the north part. Damn, well, I want to do something. Oh, come on, dude. Do something. You have to do your darkness of trade. You're going to bore a bore. I'm turning 40. It's a big deal. This is a happy birthday. Are you going in October? Thank you. Yeah, we are going in October. Yeah, my birthday. I always wanted to go here. I dreamed about going here for years. I'm going to get you something.

Starting point is 00:14:11 Yeah, fucking. No, this is different. By my plane ticket. Okay. Got some Korean barbecue last night. Did you go to the place I told you to go? Couldn't take reservations. We went to another place.

Starting point is 00:14:21 Where would you go? Baba, baba, baba, baba, baba, baba, baba. Where would you go? It was, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I'll tell you it was fucking phenomenal. We went over to, uh, Dato. Oh, Dato, yeah. Yeah, Dato. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:34 Wow, great. You know what I love about these fucking Koreans, man? You know what I fucking love about these? Here we go, dude. The way they take pride in cooking this meat, dude. That's right. And they cook it to perfect temperature. They don't ever overcook it, and he cooked it,

Starting point is 00:14:46 and he goes, he goes, how do you want? And I said, like medium rare, that's okay, he goes, anything okay, you tell me. And I said, medium rare then, and he goes, okay. And then, and then they pick it up, and they cut it with scissors, with literally like shearing scissors, which I love, and he then he shows me goes medium rare and I go that's medium rare He goes I know and puts it down. That's the best. What are the best? I kissed his hand. He had his hand

Starting point is 00:15:14 Yeah, that's what you put it down. I went. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. And he goes, okay It was so good Korean barbecue is so fucking good and we had those little frittata pizzas with sausage and I don't what it's a call with that special sauce. Oh, what is so fucking good and we had those little Frittata pizzas with sausage and uh, I don't what it's a call with that special sauce. Oh, what is a fucking called? God damn it. It was so good. It's like a Frittata pizza almost Korean with sauce and sausage on it What? Man, I wish I knew the name of it. It looked like a Frittata pizza. Anyway, you went to fucking pizza. Oh no. No No, that's where I went.

Starting point is 00:15:45 Yeah, I think that's what you went. Did I go to pizza hut? Yeah, yeah. No, they would have that. No, it was, it was really good. It was like almost like an egg frittata dish with it. When I was in Virginia and some Korean dude cause after me goes, Hey, bro,

Starting point is 00:15:55 you know we have the best Korean food. In Virginia? I go in Virginia, maybe. Yeah, he goes, I'll show you where to go. So after the show was so hungry, I go, well, let's just go. He says, it's so hungry, I go, well, let's just go. He's just an hour. I go, yeah, drive it back.

Starting point is 00:16:08 He's okay, we drive out in the woods. I'm not kidding you. This could have been the end of your life. Yeah. Anyway, Korean food was his dick. No. No. No.

Starting point is 00:16:19 So we go, one of this place, right? And it had to, like, the Korean flag on the fucking. In the woods and the chicken. In the woods of Virginia, dude. You're like, why are there big three big caves above your house? What is that? No one's in there.

Starting point is 00:16:29 Yeah, completely empty, right? And it was like, like, steak and ketchup, mayo. I'm not kidding. There was barely any Korean food on there. Some rice, you know what I mean? He tricked you into going to the food. It was a Korean restaurant, but it was like the worst Korean restaurant you've ever been to. And you still ate, though. I had to. Yeah, you know me he tricked you didn't go into the it was a Korean restaurant But it was like the worst Korean restaurant you've ever been to when you still ate though. I had to yeah

Starting point is 00:16:49 You know those are those are options Did you tell them and the like the fucking guys were all Mexican? It was fucking crazy. Mexicans in Virginia. Yeah Korean food Sikum it was insane. It was insane for Mexicans moved to the woods of Virginia with their Korean friend and they open up a restaurant Yeah, right in the woods of Virginia with their Korean friend and they open up a restaurant. Yeah. Right in the heart of the KKK. Y'all got that Bim Bim Bap in there. Y'all better give me some kimchi, buddy. One of the K stands for Korean.

Starting point is 00:17:16 Korean. Korean Korean Korean. That's a they chant. Yeah. No, we're to totally different agenda now. We're just Korean Korean Korean. Yeah, I've always wondered what does clocks mean? Coo clocks.

Starting point is 00:17:28 Yeah, but what does, are they different? I think clocks just sounds dope. Yeah. Cause the Coo clocks, like Coo clocks. When is the clocks clocks? Like chickens. They're originating. The name is probably form combining Greek,

Starting point is 00:17:40 a kyklo, spluk, which means circle with clan. So clan's cool, clocks, I've never heard. What's cool? But then if clocks means clan, then it's the cool clan clan. The cool clan clan. Oh, you did. A cool means like an avoid in a... Ah.

Starting point is 00:17:59 Wait, really? It's a void. I thought a cool meant like a revolte. Isn't a cool a revolt? I think it's spelled different. Yes, it's spelled different with a C, I think. I know which coup meant like a revolt. Isn't a coup a revolt? I think it spelled different. Yeah, it spelled different with a C I think. I know which show is clan is spelled with a fucking C too, not a K.

Starting point is 00:18:10 Okay, okay, okay, you did it. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. These guys, man, they just are not good guys, huh? I don't know, they're probably. I don't know, you know, man. I keep reading about these guys,

Starting point is 00:18:22 the more I read about them, the more I'm like, they are not good fellows. These guys are just bad boys. Their costumes are weird. Yeah, get better costumes. After all this time, you think they would get in... Oh, so don't use a torch, use your iPhone, you know what I mean, at the light. The light?

Starting point is 00:18:35 Yeah, that's true. Why can't they do that? Jews will not replace, they just put your fucking iPhone in the sky. You know? The burning the cross thing must be a whole fucking, just what, I mean, like, imagine the guy that, like, that fashion's a really nice cross and just so they can burn it.

Starting point is 00:18:52 And he's like, you know, you guys, keep it around for a couple more days. Is that just burning it every fucking time? It takes a long time to put that thing together. But that's like their burning man, you know? That is, like, part of it. And some guy lights it early and they're like, come on, man, Matthew, what are you doing man?

Starting point is 00:19:06 That is pretty fucking ominous there, huh? It's so dark and disgusting. You're destroying a Christian cross lighting. They call it lighting so that they're not burning a Christian cross. But the irony is staggering, it looks so anti-Jesus. It's gonna be extremely pro Jesus, I'm guessing. Lighting shit on fire seems pro.

Starting point is 00:19:26 That seems like the opposite. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I went and go ahead and lit my wife on fire. That's insane. Didn't want a burner. I wanted to show how much I loved her. So I, I, a wife litter. I didn't burn her.

Starting point is 00:19:39 I didn't burn her a wife litter. Have you been watching the black mirrors? Yeah. Yeah, man, I watched one and I just... The first one? Yeah, the one with the, the one with the Jane is awful. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Joan is awful. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:52 And it gave me the, the Heebie Jebes. I like it. What do you mean Heebie Jebes? I did, it gave me a yucky feeling in my bones. That's what it's supposed to do. That's what it's supposed to do. I know, but sometimes then it's like sexy, you know? Like sometimes the black mirrors are like,

Starting point is 00:20:05 Oh, yeah, fuck, that's so wild. What a weird twist. This one wasn't as fun of a twist and that it was just the first three were pretty strong. Do you see the second one and the third one? I did, but remind me. I watched them all, but I don't know. Well, the third one is those two dudes that they're in the space. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:19 And then they have their like robot or a mom. Don't say anything. That was really good. That one's insane. It's so dark. So dark. And I like that actor who plays Jesse on Breaking Bad, Aaron Paul.

Starting point is 00:20:31 Aaron Paul. This is actually my problem with the new Black Mirror is that I recognize too many people in it. But there's such great acting. I know, but I like the old Black Mirror because I didn't know anybody. I love that. Even in that first episode, it's like,

Starting point is 00:20:42 Jibuki Young White and all these people that I've seen before that I'm like, oh, I like Black Mirror when it was unknown, unknown to me, because then I didn't get to attach a person to a thing. Now I see Black Mirror, I'm like, I know these fuck. Maybe you're just getting so much more famous each year that you recognize everybody in television. That's what it is.

Starting point is 00:21:04 No, I think the first season, it wasn't that popular. It was a new show, right? And then once something becomes popular, actors now they kind of campaign for that. Like I wanna do that. I know, but I like it when they had the balls to be like, well we're successful without you, we'll just use unknowns. Like I begged to get on Gallifinacus' show.

Starting point is 00:21:22 I told them I would pay them to be on that show. And they're like, we don't use a lot of actors. We almost use no actors. Martha Callie was like the only actor that was on that show on baskets. Oh yeah, that show. They barely would employ actors. They wanted locals from Bakersfield

Starting point is 00:21:35 and like people that really hadn't done anything. And I was like, even in the last season, I was like begging. Like, please, make me like a fucking rodeo clown. And it wouldn't even look like me and dress me up. And they just say, so you do that, you campaign for yourself like that. Only a few times I've done this. I've only done that.

Starting point is 00:21:50 And I'm starting to do that now. Things that I wanna do. It feels gross though. I don't fucking, why? You don't care? To ask to be on something you enjoy. Oh yeah, yeah. Like that was stand up shows,

Starting point is 00:21:58 but a lot of times the people booking and don't even know you're interested. So. Yeah, they'd like to know. In fact, there's shows where they go, yeah, Bobby's interested, your agent calls and goes, Bobby would love to be on that and they're like seriously? They don't think that you're interested. Yeah, they'd like to know. In fact, there's shows where they go, yeah, Bobby's interested, your agent calls and goes, Bobby would love to be on that and they're like, seriously?

Starting point is 00:22:07 They don't think that you might wanna do it. Really? Well, because they don't, if it's not in their thought process, they might not think you'd be interested. Yeah, I've been doing it. I love it. I think it's awesome.

Starting point is 00:22:17 You'd be great on Black Mirror. Really? Oh, yellow mirror. Yellow mirror. Yellow mirror. Yeah. This one's oddly dirty. Yeah.

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Starting point is 00:22:42 Hair story has a thing called new wash. Yeah. It's the first of its kind, the custom formula, cleans, conditions, detangles, and restores hair without harsh foams

Starting point is 00:22:51 and damaging detergents found in traditional shampoo. New wash is like shampoo, but it's actually good for your hair. I gotta tell you, I tried it for the first time after we did our first read with them. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:02 And it is awesome. It's like the follicles in your hair is going, thank you. Well, they're tingling, they go, yay! Yeah, man. In new washes and not a bunch of harsh nonsense, it's aloe vera sunflower seed oil, jojo basito oil.

Starting point is 00:23:15 Let me guess. And evening primzone oil. No, no, it's evening primrose oil. And it does sound like primzone. Yeah, yeah, primzone oil. But evening primrose oils, these ingredients are gonna help you balance to strengthen nourishing, clean your hair

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Starting point is 00:25:24 300,000 experiences you'll remember do more with viator 10 for 10% of your first booking. One app over 300,000 experiences you'll remember. Do more with viator. Show Bob that thing I sent you. This is insane. Look at this is what society is today. This is black mirror in real life. And everyone here, you give consent to everyone to kick you in the night.

Starting point is 00:25:41 I love how I'm like at that. This guy's giving consent to these women to rack him in the park. I love how I'm gonna get that. This guy's giving consent to these women to rack him in the park and laugh. Oh my God. And she makes him bow down. Also, look at the shit around this girl. Nice. Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 00:25:58 This poor guy is saying yes to this stuff. You wanna go round two? Sure. That's not very confident. stuff. You wanna go round two? Sure. That's not very confident. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Look at this, this guy's in, he's in like a JC Penney Park

Starting point is 00:26:12 and like getting, fucking racked in the dick at 9 p.m. You think he's wearing a cup? No, listen, you can hear it, listen, listen to this next one. There's no way. This has gotta be what he gets off to, huh? This is his thing. Listen to this, listen to this.

Starting point is 00:26:27 Oh my god. Oh, you know what I would do? And then they push him down. Oh. If I was that guy you know what I do? Okay, now it's my turn. Get on your knees and I will kick. My kick.

Starting point is 00:26:40 He's sitting in his mouth and they're going to spin in this guy's mouth. Oh, fuck. Okay. My kid is sitting in his mouth and they're gonna spin in this guy's mouth. Oh fuck I guess board shorts might be a good choice because you could have a little bit of room. Oh my god. There she goes doing it again Yeah, I think it'd be funny if they're wearing like business suits Anyway, I tried to find these girls because I was like I'm you know, yeah, I'm interested I couldn't get a hold of anybody. Bobby and I will do it. I don't want to. I do the idea that people can get kicked. This is how sad people's lives are.

Starting point is 00:27:09 He loves it. That guy loves it. That's a Saturday night. Yeah, man. That wasn't his calendar. Can you imagine he's texting his buddies? What are you guys doing tonight? We're gonna go out to the bar and

Starting point is 00:27:18 but you want to come along? He's like, no, man. I have a Saturday. Double date. Yeah, yeah. Two girls. It used to be funny when people got hit in the night. Yeah, now it's sad.

Starting point is 00:27:28 It's so sad. What's happening to the guy? The guy is sexually gratified from it. I think he's the sexual thing. He walks away from it. He's smiling. Yeah, happy. But I don't know, he doesn't get off to it.

Starting point is 00:27:42 No, Carlisth. Yeah, Carlos watches this. Yeah, I know. I sent this to Carlos. He goes, we'll see it. I see it. I see it. I had my way with it. No, Carlos, then. Yeah, Carlos watches this. Yeah, I know. I sent this to Carlos, he goes, we'll see it. I see it. I had my way with it. My guess is that he jerks off to it later.

Starting point is 00:27:51 That's what my guess is. Like a video tape, and they send in the video tape. Yeah, I need jerks off to it. Yeah. There's gonna be some sort of sexual thing. Is it not dominatrix? Yeah, kind of,

Starting point is 00:27:58 but dominatrix is not usually just racking you in the nuts. I don't, that's all I'm gonna do it. Wow. Keep getting paid a little bit. Hey, can you cheat? Can you cheat? Can you in the nuts. I don't, that's all I'm gonna do. Well, keep getting paid a little bit. Hey, can you cheat? Huh? Can you cheat? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:09 How? What do you mean? Put a nut cup in. No, but then they would hear it and they'd be, they'd bully you to take it out. No, I'd just say, I have hollow nuts. That's why it sounds like that. I guess, you know?

Starting point is 00:28:19 I guess, you know what? Yeah, it's just a sack. There's nothing in it. That's why it makes that noise. Imagine if he was trans and he was like, go ahead, kick me in the nuts. And they go to kick him in the nuts and he's like, ha ha. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:31 It would feel a little bit. Not, let me ask you something. Not like it does when you have a hangout. So if we get hit in the nuts, right? And you get hit in the vagina, kick in the vagina, is yours painful? No. It's painful.

Starting point is 00:28:43 But it's not what we experience. I doubt it. How do you know what it feels like? You don't have nuts. I've also never been kicked painful. Yeah, but it's not what we experience. I doubt it. How do you know what it feels like? You don't have nuts? I've also never been kicked in the vagina, but. Get over here. Just kidding. All right, all right.

Starting point is 00:28:52 But just getting kicked in general is like, it hurts. So it probably hurt on your body. But already, right, right, you don't know what my testicles feel like right now by watching that. You don't know me. Like, can't you visualize what that feels? I feel it. I feel it too.

Starting point is 00:29:06 It's like when I get to the edge of a tall building and I look over and my nuts kind of go up a little bit, they like, could they crawl up into my chair? Yeah. Cause they're nervous. They're nervous. They get scared. They retreat a little bit.

Starting point is 00:29:16 You know what I'm talking about when you're nuts retreat, just a little bit. Like when it gets cold, same thing. They go, oh, no way. And they retreat just a little bit. Yeah. That's what they sound like. Yeah, no way.

Starting point is 00:29:24 Well, my right one goes, no way. My left one's like, uh-oh. no way. And they retreat just a little bit. Yeah. That's what they sound like. Yeah, no way. Well, my right one goes, no way, my left one's like, uh-oh. No way. Is your right not lower or your left not lower? I think they're even. We talked about that for a little completely even. I'm Asian, everything's like, you know,

Starting point is 00:29:36 it's science based. Everything's baseline. Yeah, everything's just like perfect. You know, wow. Yeah, yeah. Huh? One's lower than that. Yeah, one is lower for sure.

Starting point is 00:29:44 Why? Well, God made it's lower than that. Yeah, one is lower for sure. Why? Well, God made it that way. Oh. Yeah. Well, you know when you're, you know when you're lacing up your shoes and you're trying to get both laces the equal length. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:52 That's kind of what happened with God with nuts. He was like, yeah, fuck it, whatever. And then you put it out. Let me ask you something, but both nuts, right? Has the sperm in it? Yeah. So no, no, no, it creates, they make sperm. There's not just sitting there filled with sperm.

Starting point is 00:30:03 I know, but the two nuts are they like, it's my turn. They do it together. They're a team. Oh, they are. I don't know. It's like you and me. Oh, really? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:14 But do you think if you were a sack, I was a sack, and I'd be like, I'd have a mouth. Like this, right? And I go, you know, okay, well, he's just, last time you came, I wanna come just dying. No, I wanna. You two left there with that one girl. All right. All right. Pfft.

Starting point is 00:30:31 Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Oh my god, nothing came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, then you do it. Oh wow, wow, wow, wow, yeah, yeah. Also, you're saying they work in tandem, they work together. Yeah, together as a team. I didn't know. You and I are perfect nutsec. By the way, that whole analogy, wow, yeah. Also, you said they were in tandem, they worked together.

Starting point is 00:30:45 Yeah, together as a team. I didn't know. You and I are a perfect nuts sack. By the way, that whole analogy to piezing a pot, it should be two nuts and a sack. Yeah, yeah. So it's gotta make that dry. You and I are two nuts and a sack.

Starting point is 00:30:54 Right. Now who's hanging lower? You are. Because I'm just a little taller. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are for sure. But I do crawl up to see you and I. I know. I know what you're saying.

Starting point is 00:31:02 Right, right. You're like Spider Man. Yeah. I mean, I know. I'm right back, John. I'm like, Spider Man. Yeah. I think we would, we would, we would, nuts that I think we would like, have a movie night. 100%.

Starting point is 00:31:11 I'd come up and hang with you. Yeah, yeah. Do you have any friends that have that testicle removed from cancer? I've had three friends of mine get one not removed. And then only one of them put in a supplemental ball. Well, what do you use a marble? Huh?

Starting point is 00:31:23 You could. Could I use a marble? A big marble. You could hypothetically put in whatever you want. That's the one I'm saying. I don't know if they would do it. Maybe you got enough, you know, you have enough cash. Yeah. Oh, you know what, you know what I would use? What would you supplement? A ping pong ball. Perfect. Oh, that's funny. It's light. Yeah, but it still has the girth. I'd want a Fabra J egg. Whoa! You're talking different things. Those are hard to find. Yeah, babe. They're huge.

Starting point is 00:31:47 Also at night, at night, after I'm done fucking, I would shine my phone light on the other side of my sack and you could see my nut glow, you know? Right. So you get a show. I would, you know, I'd put my balls in it, turn off the lights and then you'd see like a kaleidoscope show on the wall.

Starting point is 00:32:00 Oh, whoa. It's a lot of my testing. I know what I would do. Yeah, what would you do? I would get my nut from a dead person. Well, who? Dead nut? Oh, which, who?

Starting point is 00:32:08 I would get like a white dude's nut. Okay. Imagine then. George Washington. Then my beefs come out white. Smart. Right. One black and one white guy.

Starting point is 00:32:17 Smart. Right, and then I get a Barack Obama. You're a baby. Yeah. You know what I mean? Tony Bennett just died. You could have his. I was, yeah, real old.

Starting point is 00:32:26 Real old man. Yeah, but a good, but musically inclined nut. Yeah. Because you already are musically talented. That's so good. You got Tony Bennett's nut. It was. By the way, wrestling piece TB, one of the greatest of all time.

Starting point is 00:32:36 Sad. What would you replace your veg with? My, my veg? Yeah. No, it have to be one of your tits. It'd be one of your, if one of your tits had to go, what would you supplement one of your tits with? Can't be a fake tits one of your tits had to go, what would you supplement one of your tits with? Can't be a fake tits, too obvious.

Starting point is 00:32:47 Oh, okay. Oh yeah, it's gotta be something like, I think it'd probably be something like a sauce or ice cream frozen yogurt. Oh, oh, oh, just like not putting the winter though if you're fucking Canada. Oh my god, it's hard as a rock. It also stinks in the summer. Yeah. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:33:09 It's like hot, yeah. Yeah, it happens. But in the winter, and I think I'd make it refillable. So like in the winter, I could do like pumpkin spice. Oh, whoa. Maybe in the spring, I do like. Dude, that is an invention for milk on a tits. They should make it so you could stab tits

Starting point is 00:33:25 and fuse flavor, kind of like at a coffee shop when you're like, the baby was so happy. A little bit of caramel in there. Yeah. The baby's like, chai. Right? Do you have a chagachino? Aesma.

Starting point is 00:33:36 Is that be cool? They would want it. They would love it. That's so interesting. A chagachino, by the way, I tasted for the first time the other day. What's a chagachino? What is that? Mushroom. It's mushroom in yeah, it's a new it's not new

Starting point is 00:33:49 But I mean it's new to me new to the west, but I fucking hated it I I thought I would maybe like it. I was like this might be good. It sounded good. Did he just fall? I had almost fell mushroom jerky. I bought it at air one. Oh, how much was that 45 dollars something like that? Yeah, and it's supposed to taste like beef jerky does not and not at all. Yeah, not even a little bit. Yeah, it tastes. It doesn't taste. Well, there's some guy. There's some dickhead I saw in TikTok. Some little asshole. He's going up to people pretending like he's serving food and it's outside of a vegan place and it's meat. And he's trying to trick people into fucking giving them, you know,

Starting point is 00:34:28 even the meat and they got what an asshole. He's a piece of shit. But the worst part was the reactions are like built for the internet. Like the one guy's like barely speaks English and he's like, I got a call about it. And he's like, call the police. He's like, I got a call about it. And it's like, I'm laughing, but it's awful. Yeah. That you just fed him fucking meat out front of a vegan restaurant terrible terrible What I don't like pranks. I hate pranks. I'm not a big I don't like pranks Or somebody's at home depot and some guys like doing a fucking prank

Starting point is 00:34:54 Like putting something on somebody's head. Well, they throw stuff at people. Oh, I hate it. Yeah Yeah, the only pranks that I actually do like are like they leave a There's one where a guy will put a bike. He'll leave a bike like in a park to be stolen and he'll put it in a long chain and then when the guy goes to steal it and ride away with it it yanks the chain they go flying those are fun. I wish I want to prank you man. What would you do? Maybe I you're to your wife I go I'm gonna what's a matter no? I'm gonna happen to your eyes, huh? You had a loss of energy in your eyes. No, I'm listening. I'm listening to you tell the story I heard he could turn white. Yeah, how are you pranking me? I I say what's your dog's name?

Starting point is 00:35:35 Coby Coby So I'm gonna get like, you know, I mean a lot of meat Right and the and like the carcass of Coby right? I still don I know what it's like. Covey, right? I still don't know where it's going. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, I wanna get a replica of Covey's carcass. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:54 And you just gotta come in from the road or whatever. I'm gonna be eating steak. I go, thanks man, delicious Covey. Ah! Is that the prank? Yeah. And I have to have the cameras. I wanna see what.

Starting point is 00:36:09 So the prank is... Yum yum! The prank is... Cubby yum yum! My best friend is eating my dog. Yeah, yeah, it's good. That's a good one. I've never seen that before.

Starting point is 00:36:17 Korean friend eats best friend dog. Yeah, yeah. What do you think? I mean, I think it's believable. Yeah, yeah, it is right. I think the internet will back. I'll put blood on my face. Yeah. It'll be a mess. I think the internet will bike, but everyone can make it. I'll put blood on my face, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:36:26 It'll be a mess. I'll get a clean up crew. You're gonna clean up, yeah. Would that make you mad? It fits good, does it taste? How does it taste? Delicious. You seasoned it?

Starting point is 00:36:35 Well, what did it like? We'll give you a piece. Yeah, there you go. How would you prank me, you think? How would I prank you? I would probably send you that video that I have on my phone of me and Kalala hooking up. I'd be...

Starting point is 00:36:46 That would be so crazy. That would be a funny thing. That's good. It's a good one. We're 69-ing actually. Yeah. That's the best part. I said, we can't kiss.

Starting point is 00:36:56 Bobby will be mad if we kiss. So we kissed each other's genitals. If you did, if I did walk into my house... And I was fucking... And you were fucking Kalala back when we were dating. I wonder what I would do. And you're like, we're just kidding. J.A.

Starting point is 00:37:08 pranked. I think I just hold on. We have to finish, but you're getting pranked. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I would end bad friends. Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking.

Starting point is 00:37:19 I mean, it's just, it's going so well. But you know what, of all the people on this show, that would butcher your trust and sleep with Kalala. I know who it is. You know who it is. No, whoo-hoo. You know who it is. Go ahead and say it.

Starting point is 00:37:32 I'm gonna be real. Yeah. I'm gonna go with Pete. Pete, that's what I was thinking. Pete would do it. Look at him, because he's so fucking phony innocent. So phony innocent and nice. But no, that's not Pete.

Starting point is 00:37:42 Why, why is it me? Oh, what, Kalala's ugly? You don't think you'd sleep with her because she's gross to you? Why if I have kids? I like them. You no, that's not, Pete. Why, why is it me? Oh, what, Kalilah's ugly? You don't think you'd sleep with her because she's gross to you? Why if I have kids that I like them? You never said he wouldn't do it. You, yeah, you never said no yet. Okay, no.

Starting point is 00:37:52 You don't know if I believe him. Honestly, I just don't know. I, I think it would be like, who would break your heart the most if they did it? If you, in all of life. In our crew, in our crew, in the bad, in our crew, in our bad friend's crew, if you walked in on one of them,

Starting point is 00:38:05 the most confusing one would be Andreas. It would, I would ponder it for like a year. Like how the fuck did that happen? Which one would hurt your feelings the most? In real life? Yes. And then which one would make you the most angry, not confused? Confused would be fancy, I would be hurt.

Starting point is 00:38:24 You. That would piss you off. Yeah. Not mcconed. He wants you to... Oh, I would... No, because at that point, I know how to destroy him. Right. Oh, I will destroy.

Starting point is 00:38:34 He's not gonna have a few. What about George? Can you imagine how sick you'd be? You'd be sick for months. Yeah. Oh, good. Good. Suicide.

Starting point is 00:38:44 Unbelievable. Suicide. Unbelievable. Dude, suicide. Unbelievable. Suicide. Because you know, at that point, life wouldn't make no sense. Yeah, it'd be over. I'd be like, I don't know what life's about. It's so confusing. It's talk about yellow mirror.

Starting point is 00:38:57 That's your yellow mirror. That's a yellow mirror episode. Yeah. If you walked in on Carlos soaking up with her, like we had, we actually ran him through that case already on the show. Well, if he was doing missionary, I would pull my pants down and fuck him in the ass. That would be fun, dude. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:12 He would love it. Then it's like, no lessons are learned. Yeah, no lessons. But George, which suit, would you kill yourself? It was George? George and my wife? Yeah. I, not only, no, I'd kill, well, I'd kill everybody.

Starting point is 00:39:22 I mean, I'd go on a, oh yeah, I would go on a, run around West Hollywood. I'd run around. I just, I'd, well, I kill everybody. I mean, I go on. Oh yeah, I would run around West Hollywood. Yeah. I just, I, the world would be over. It would be over. They, I'd be one of those guys where they just, I kill as many people as I could. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's insane. Ruined me.

Starting point is 00:39:37 But here's somebody that I wouldn't even be mad at all. I would giggle if it was Jesse. Yeah, that one wouldn't bother me. Yeah, I'd be like, no, finish, finish. Yeah, if I caught you sleeping with my wife, I thought, what are you gonna do? I mean, it would be a discussion. You know why?

Starting point is 00:39:52 Because you're so nice and sweet and clean. No, I treat her right. Yeah, you treat her right. So it's like almost like, what did I lose here? How nice was I to you the other night? You've been so nice at the store. You seem like you're in a great mood. I don't feel like you're speaking it.

Starting point is 00:40:05 I feel like it seems genuine. I'm being real. You are a great actor, but it's- Are you being real? I'm being 100% out of the bottle. I sat with you for like 30 minutes. That's what she's saying. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:14 Yeah, it was my last day working as a door guy and we were in the back video bar where the secret room Bobby came in there. It was so fun. I wish I stayed to see that. Yeah, we have like a- I took off after my set, so I was sad that I couldn't come back there.

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Starting point is 00:41:24 Yeah. Amalgamation. All righty. Let me have it allgamation. Look, can I have it again? Yeah. I'm allgamation already. Let me have it again. Yeah, let's see you do it again, but okay, here we go. Okay. Okay. Introducing displays in genius magnum mountains. Slow down.

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Starting point is 00:41:58 It is that easy. And that's Bobbie Lee shoving it down the throats of those people that say, he can't get through that disc plate ad. Yes, he can't get through that displate ad. Yes, he can. I can do it. I just displate it. He go friendly for every design sold. They're planting one tree.

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Starting point is 00:42:31 School is back, baby. Oh, it's good for door dash. It's very good for door dash, my friend. Psst, wanna quick back to school tip. You can cross everything off your list before the big day with door dash. Stock up on supplies and lunchtime snacks all in one place. That's the best part.

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Starting point is 00:44:02 How do you feel now that you're free? I feel pretty weird. Why? I don't, well, I feel good. You're gonna miss that 80 bucks a month? It's, I never worked there for the money. No, I know. I know.

Starting point is 00:44:13 But, you know, I've kind of gotten, it's like a school and I've gotten everything I could get. Like you guys have kind of helped build my career and I would have never met you if I didn't work that. What was great was I saw a lot of people that worked there that wasn't even their shift coming to the store and coming to say goodbye to you. That's what that this is I'm going to be a little sappy, but this is what's so important about the world of the comedy store to me.

Starting point is 00:44:37 Not only is it our home where we most of us started it's where I started you started in the comedy store family. And what is meaningful to me, and the thing I hope never gets lost generationally, is like, it is a fucking community, and it is so cool to see people supporting each other, because in a lot of the chaos of comedy and competition, it's hard sometimes.

Starting point is 00:44:56 People get it inundated with, why did they get that? Why don't I get that? But what's beautiful is, when you do create a space, where people support each other's growth in hopes that you too will get that opportunity, all you're doing is creating a great place to want to like be and come together and create something pretty fucking magical. And I hope that never dies because I think that is such a cool thing for people to celebrate your graduation from something.

Starting point is 00:45:22 It's the best I've ever felt walking away from something because I still welcome there, obviously. Like I just moved into, I'm just in development now there, but it felt really like a closure thing. So right to pass it. Yeah, right to the passage. It felt like graduating a school that you really enjoyed going to.

Starting point is 00:45:40 I think it's so special. I know, I'm not really, I'm not really happy, stupid, but it's like, it's like, when I see stuff like that, even like the names that just got painted too, yeah. People are posting name like Laura Peek and it's like,

Starting point is 00:45:51 it's a cool thing. I like that that's a system that's still in existence. I know a lot of people don't like the system. I like the reason, what's going on? I'm sorry. Wow. Let me see it again.

Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah, I thought you were gonna say Wal-Rusket. Wal-Rusket. I like the Let me see the kid. Yeah, I thought you're gonna say walrus. It walrus person like the walrus No, listen, um, I like that. It's difficult to get into that room Should be yeah a little bit thing to work. Yeah, I love how difficult it is. Yeah, yeah, it's so hard It felt great and now I think it's also good for me to leave not just because I need to start headlining and Really becoming a full-time stand standard comedian, but me leaving also gives more opportunity to me. That's right.

Starting point is 00:46:28 Because people will come through and say what door guys are good to take on the road. And I feel like, you know, I've, I need to. Now you know. I know and people can ask me and it just gives this new class of door guys. How'd you sell in Bakersfield? Bakersfield and what else?

Starting point is 00:46:40 Sold out. You did? Sold out. Completely sold out. It was crazy. How crazy is that? That's insane huge meet and greet line. No bad friends like Bobby we get 20% 20% you guys get 20 yeah, I cut out my feature actual hominist came with me. I love Joel Menace you have your own features now well Well, when I can go into my first weekend,

Starting point is 00:47:06 this will be after, air after, but it's my first weekend alone. I can't bring everybody. Wow. First night in Salt Lake City on Thursday and then Friday night. Why is that? Yeah, in Vegas. And just, Both wise guys, Vegas and Salt Lake.

Starting point is 00:47:18 And then our Vegas might happen. Oh, yeah, we're working on it. Yeah, we're working on it. Yeah, we got it. I know I'm excited. We might do eight guys. Listen, we might do how many shows eight a year? Something like that. Yeah, we're working on it. Yeah, we're working on it. I know I'm excited. We might do eight guys. Listen, we might do how many shows eight a year? Something like that.

Starting point is 00:47:28 Yeah, well, they're working it out. Working out. In Vegas. You want to do them? Bring me, please. I just quit my job. Yeah. You know what?

Starting point is 00:47:36 You know what? So, I'm going to be so fun. I'm going to be so sentimental. Go. I just think it's incredible that this is that this world is I'm so happy that you sold out when I saw that online. I was like man. That's fucking yeah, I know I was like I'm It makes me feel good to see

Starting point is 00:48:00 You cruise just cruising man. Yeah, I mean you're cruising you guys posting it helped a lot But Irvine was close to and Irvinevine was the vice's big. So it's like huge. Yeah. Fucking unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's exciting. And you guys have any tips about when I get set up with local openers? Well, anyway, man.

Starting point is 00:48:14 A fuck. No. Haven't we done enough? Enough. Jesus. You asked you ask. Oh, no, no, no. Whatever you just said, no.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Okay. Yeah, we're not doing that. The days of local openers, by the way, there's someone, there's something I meet that I man, I've still friends with today, that there's guys that I've come across, and then there's, well Chris, yeah, became one of my best friends.

Starting point is 00:48:33 But before that, years and years and years ago, when I was touring on the road, and I was alone and lonely, and I met a couple of really good people, it is so cool when you meet cool people on the road. I love that. I didn't know you met O'Connor on the road like that. Yeah, man, we met in Indianapolis. That makes me feel like police officers threw up in my Uber.

Starting point is 00:48:51 A cop threw up in my Uber. You heard what I just said? You were driving Uber? We went out that night. We took an Uber. We went out with a local Indian at state trooper who was friends with another one of O'Connor's buddies. And this off-duty cop partied so hard he threw up in the Uber that I took.

Starting point is 00:49:08 Yeah, because we shared an Uber and he said, he goes, can I take it back to the hotel? I said, yeah, just, I'll just add the stop and you can just take my Uber. Then the next morning I wake up with like a $750 charge on my fucking Uber account and I was like, what the fuck, where did this guy go? He drive to Chicago and then I go on my thing, and it says, they don't even say throw up. They say like internal damage to the vehicle or something. So you know, it could have been the other end.

Starting point is 00:49:34 No, I asked. Okay. I texted and I was like, hey man, did you guys fucking, what'd you guys do in the back of that car? And he goes, oh, I'm dude, I'll Venmo you, I'm so sorry. How much? He's like the entire back seat was coated and throw up. Oh god. Yeah, I wish I could do that with you, man. I know. I mean, why is it, I'll Venmo, you, I'm so sorry. How much? The entire back seat was coated in throwout. Oh god.

Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah, I wish I could do that with you, man. I know. I mean, why is it when I get drunk, it doesn't, we can all have that thing. Because yours is toxic and you get poop all over the place. I know, but my point is that. Well, that's enough for me. We could always follow me around

Starting point is 00:49:57 to see if I'm gonna be okay or whatever. Yeah, because you're insane. Because when you got drunk in Mexico, you were up to absolutely no good. Why? Because I asked for a drink at the fucking restaurant. Yeah, that's insane. No, because when you got drunk in Mexico, you were up to absolutely no good. Why? Because I asked for a drink at the fucking restaurant? Yeah, that's insane. No, because when you did get drunk, you were, you were a clue to your room, and we couldn't find you to get a hold of you.

Starting point is 00:50:12 You turn off your phone, you drink by yourself, you take pills, you throw up, you poop everywhere, and then you wake up at 5 p.m. the next day, and I'd rather you wake up at 5 p.m. the next day without boozing drugs in your body. Rock on, dude. No, no, no, no, rock off. Rock off. Rock body. Rock on, dude. No, no, no, rock off. Rock off. Rock off. No, no, no, rock and sit.

Starting point is 00:50:28 Rock and sit. Yeah, I don't know how to do it like that. You just don't have that trigger. Yeah. You don't know how to fucking turn one of the machines off when the other machine goes on. You know who else is like that? Carlos.

Starting point is 00:50:39 Yeah, you are. I know. Guys, it's help me get so like really stay in. Watching you on the bus that one night. Watching you? I go, oh yeah, that's why I don't drink. That one night. McCone showed me the video footage of us in Nashville

Starting point is 00:50:50 when he was rolling around on the floor of the bus. Oh yeah. It was insane. It's insane. I was under tremendous stress. You were rubbing your back on the floor of the bus laughing. Like you were itch, like a bear. And just things were itch.

Starting point is 00:51:00 And just things were itch. I'm not gonna repeat what you would say. I'll say some of it. No, you would say things. I'm like, oh shit, that's the most racist thing I've ever ever heard about. 100%. It was no comedy or nothing.

Starting point is 00:51:11 It was just like, whatever the word, I felt comfortable with my friends. And I think I was under a lot of stress with the beginning of the tour. I do more than usual. Big dumb, big dumb. Big dumb. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:23 I'm not playing the victim. I'm saying I had fun with my friends. But you and I'll go home like, let Victor Victor. Yeah. I'm not playing the victim. I'm saying I had fun with my friends. You did. But are you an alcoholic? Let me ask. I think I'm, yes, that I'm very much like an addict. Right. Yeah, I don't think you're an alcoholic.

Starting point is 00:51:36 I think you're an addict across the board. I don't think you need alcohol to function every day. But I do think that you will take anything and any opportunity to get fucked up. Yeah, to like do we need to intervene? Not yet. When? Not yet, he said. I've tried. Well, you just yell it's time. Yeah. Well, that's that's how I do it. It's time. It's out of control. I was under stress on tour. You know what happened to me. Do you think if we tried to actually get you real help, you would wanna go? No. Okay.

Starting point is 00:52:06 He's not ready, I can tell. Yeah, because you gotta wanna do it. How do you get there? I don't know. You know what got you there when I first met you, you were sober. Yeah, yeah. What happened before that to get you there?

Starting point is 00:52:19 Oh gosh, I went to rehab and I relapsed after. And I was like, I can't, I was too young. It was like destroying my life. When I met you, you. And I was like, I can't, I was too young. It was like destroying my life. When I met you, you were using again? No, I was sober. No, you were sober when we first met. Yes, exactly. And then you started using pretty quickly.

Starting point is 00:52:32 Yeah. Yeah. And it's been a long time. Yeah, after divorce and all that, I was like, fuck it. Well, divorce is gonna make you relapse. Yeah. I imagine going through a divorce makes you relapse. I think me and Colleather's breakup was tough. I think that was really hard for me. Yeah, yeah, going through a divorce makes you relapse. I think me and Kalala's break break up was yeah

Starting point is 00:52:45 I think that was really hard for you. Yeah, yeah, that was tough. Your dad died that was a big one Yeah, yeah, I wanted I want to talk to you guys about the racial inequality of sleep Black Americans aren't sleeping as well as whites and here's and here's why that's a public health problem And what what can be done to fix it to the Atlantic? This is where we are now in society that we're blaming racial inequality on not getting good sleep. You know who didn't get good sleep? Everybody I know. I haven't slept in fucking years. I can't sleep at all. I haven't had it hard time. I can't sleep. Me either. I can't sleep at all. You know when you meet someone that can sleep well, you're almost suspect to them and they're like, oh, dude, I'm getting fucking great sleep. And

Starting point is 00:53:19 you're like, what's going on? You have no, nothing going on. You, how could you get really good, so you know who gets good sleep at night? Pete. Yeah, he gets good sleep. I think Andreas does too. No, Andreas definitely doesn't. He doesn't? When we met him, he had a full head of hair. Oh, that's right.

Starting point is 00:53:32 Fucking, he doesn't sleep at all. And now he's got a baby, he's definitely not sleeping. Pete, when he has his kids, he doesn't fucking pay attention. His beautiful wife does all that shit. That's right, sleep through the cries, you know? Let the wife take care of it. How responsible the father are you, Pete? How involved are you?

Starting point is 00:53:46 Truly. Honestly. Oh, yeah. It is Sunday and not a lot. Not a lot. Yeah, it's Sunday. He's out fucking. I'm here.

Starting point is 00:53:53 When your wife would pump, would you help organize that for her and rub her feet while she was pumping so it made the day easier or cooked her the meal, nothing. Did you ever clean while she was taking care of the kids? Nothing. Nothing. Peel, let me ask you something. When it's good nighttime, what time is the nighttime?

Starting point is 00:54:13 What one time is the sleepy time? I usually go to bed around 11. Okay, so when it's sleepy time, you take a shower first? No, I'm a morning shower. Okay, good, so you lay in bed. You see, good night, sweetie. Now, give me the, give me the,

Starting point is 00:54:25 how long does it take? From good night, sweetie, to you going to bed. Physically sleeping, he's saying. Like an hour. It takes an hour. It takes a long, cause I usually go on my phone,

Starting point is 00:54:35 I stay awake. Right. But that's the good. Yeah, when I lay in bed, it's a four hour drama. At least. Yeah, yeah. It's a flight to New York.

Starting point is 00:54:43 It's a flight to New York, yeah. That's how I feel. Yeah, there's like a lot of suffering going on. I mean, sleeping is like it is when I think about trying to get to sleep at night, I think this is a journey. I'm doing ayahuasca almost every night in bed trying to get to sleep. It's fucking impossible. Yeah. But in the middle of the day now, I'm able to take a nap once in a while, which I'd never used to be able to do. You have a ticket nappy now.

Starting point is 00:55:07 But now I'll play with the dog on the couch until I take a little nappy poo, and that supplemented my lack of sleep. But I can't do it. You eatin' bad. How many people say, do I? Yeah. You know me so well.

Starting point is 00:55:18 Yeah. I don't eatin' bad. I don't even eatin' my car. Yeah, yeah. Fuckin' do you eatin' your car? Carless you eatin' your car. I eat my car. I eat my car. I never eat my car. I can't eat in the car. No, I. Fucking, do you eat in your car? Carlos, you eat in your car. I eat my car. Pete, you do. I never eat my car.

Starting point is 00:55:26 I can't eat in the car. No, I want to eat when I get to a location where I can eat. Have you eaten anything? A sandwich and a bed. Well, when I last placed it for sure because I didn't like the common area, yes. Yeah, she had that bed was her place. I think you lived in the bed.

Starting point is 00:55:40 Yeah. I waited all meals in the bed. But now, would you eat in your bed now in your new place? A snack. I'll eat a string cheese in the bed. No, no, no, no, that's not eating it. Yeah, that's not eating it. I'm talking about something like.

Starting point is 00:55:50 I'm talking about a whole chicken. Okay, thank God. Would you eat, how about this? Let's go through. Would you eat like, if you had a couple slices of pizza, would you sit in bed and eat those? No. No, so that's because spill factor agrees fact.

Starting point is 00:56:00 Oh God, no, pizza no. Carlos, 100% would. Look at a smile. 100%. You're my car I would for sure. No, 100% would. Look at a smile. 100%. In my car, I would for sure. No, not in bed. What's your limit of eating in bed? What would you eat in bed that you know that I would be like,

Starting point is 00:56:12 that's insane. You wouldn't like that I've eaten cereal in bed. That's so fun. Oh, that's so fun. Why are you eating cereal in bed? Oh, milk dripping. Oh, no. That's disgusting.

Starting point is 00:56:24 What the hell? He's the kind of guy that brings the oat milk with him into the room and pours it in a hundred percent and you know what he does by the way. Yeah, when he's done eating the cereal, he I do eat in bed by the way What are you eat pussy baby? What's up? Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing. Yeah, no, uh when you eat the cereal I know Carlos. He'll eat it right and then the little bit of milk that's left over at the bottom, he'll put it on his bedside table, and it'll stay there for weeks and weeks. He doesn't take that bowl back to the kitchen.

Starting point is 00:56:51 I do, I take the bowl back at night, like at 11 o'clock or something. Mm-hmm. No, you don't. The next day, the next day, the next morning. I've done the next morning before. Do you wash your and dry your and your unit? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:02 That's why he can do stuff like that. What do you mean? Because it's no consequence. He gets some of the smoke milk, he just puts them in the thing. You. That's why he can do stuff like that. What do you mean? Because it's no consequence. Yeah. You can just put some in the thing. You don't gotta get quarters. You've gotta go to a washer, you've gotta go to a location. Yeah, I'm not risking.

Starting point is 00:57:12 But is your laundromat inside your apartment complex? It is. Well, yeah, it's broken right now. So you've gotta walk somewhere or drive. Yeah, I'll drive. Oh man. And you gotta get the quarters ready, which is a whole thing. Do you remember when we used to have to do that?

Starting point is 00:57:24 Are you kidding me? I thought about it. That's so fucking funny. I literally thought about it the other day. Oh man, and you got to get the quarters ready, which is a whole thing. Do you remember when we used to have to do that? Are you kidding me? I thought about it. That's so fucking funny. I literally thought about it the other day. We were driving Pat and Santa Monica and there was a huge laundromat and it was midnight. We were coming home from a restaurant and it was packed with people, packed with people three nights ago. And I thought, man, I remember that.

Starting point is 00:57:39 Me too. Doing my laundry at one in the morning sometimes. That was the only time it was freed up enough and I had space and I wasn't working. Yeah. Hey, can I come to your house to do laundry? but you know, like, that was the only time it was like freed up enough and I had space and I wasn't working. Yeah. Hey, can I come to your house, Delandre? No, no, no, no. That's insane.

Starting point is 00:57:50 It's insane. Why would we let you do that? I don't know, you care about me. I think we've done a lot. A lot. I know. We're not enough, but. Wait a minute.

Starting point is 00:57:58 Oh, oh, oh. I want to go to Vegas. Do you know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noannesra. This is for you, Bob. Lannesra and the wife was like, Posit, Posit. Can you guess? Lannesra. Come on, it's for you. Really?

Starting point is 00:58:31 Yeah, it's just for you. Okay, I want it. Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I get it riddles? It's like a gallum riddle. Well, look at the name. L.A. You see it, do you, see it? Well, let me, let me, let me get,

Starting point is 00:58:43 Oh, I see it. It's for you, Bob Lane Lane's rock. No, come on, baby I don't know. All right play it. But it was his favorite soccer team Arsenal Arsenal backwards as Lennestra Ah, Arsenal backwards as Lennestra. Whoa. That's what you should name your first one. Lennestra.

Starting point is 00:59:08 Or what's Gooner backwards? Nug. Yeah. What's Gooner? Put a type in the word Gooner. Let me see what that looks like backwards. This guy loved Arsenal so much. He named his daughter Lennestra.

Starting point is 00:59:18 Well, my favorite rugby team is Kug. Kug. Yeah. I see. I see. He's called Gooner. It's G-O-O-N-R. Yeah. Renoug. Yeah. He spoke Gooner. It's geo and yeah, Renug. Yeah. Oh, so your, so your son's name is going to be Renug. Ren, Renug. Renug is an awesome name. Yeah, Renugly. Renugly. Renugly. Yeah, I'm going to do that. Sounds like the the jungle book urban dictionary is a different definition a gooner a man who watches porn typically gay all day long and

Starting point is 00:59:47 Strokes for hours while edging nonstop That's what it says The last parts look crazy and becomes retarded in the process. Are you being real? That's the I'm a gooder now you're a big perfect That's perfect speed of what you know a fucking Real Madrid is here right now. I know. This episode will be out, but Real Madrid is here, Arsenal's playing in two nights. With Barcelona.

Starting point is 01:00:12 I think I'm gonna go. You said that you could get me. I'm gonna go, we're gonna take you. Arsenal, they were CAAs out here looking. They might have some players with CAA sports. That's why your reps could. That's why you could have been an agent, by the way. Just because I know that. I wasn't a mail room at William Moore. I know you were, you could have been an agent by the way just because I know that I

Starting point is 01:00:25 Wasn't the mail room at William. I know you were you could have been an agent you could have been a great agent Yeah, cuz you kind of have agent look really? Yeah, especially when you were like the gold chain in the suit jacket But with your hair with your hair the way it is like but balding with a ponytail is like an eight an old agent Yeah, although you you can also withstand insanity. Yeah, watch, do it to him, Bob. Give it to him. Because I used to do things in the fucking boss. Oh, yeah. And I could see you absorb insanity. I love insanity. Yeah, and he's good at like, hey, you go, Bobby, you know, I mean, okay, I'll do it. Yeah, he would. He would, you're like one of those guys. You don't fight back. Yeah, that's

Starting point is 01:01:00 agent shit. But in, I insanity gives me like fuel. Like, it's like a, it's like a fun job. Like, who would be on your client list right now? Right now. Yeah, come on agent shit, but in I insanity gives me like fuel like it's like a it's like a fun job like who would be on your client list right now Right now. Yeah, come on name some people I Would have tried to grab y'all You can't have us yeah right now. I would probably go poach people during the strike. Well, I'll tell you who's available Army hammer I Would immediately sign him you would sign him yeah, and I would try and get him like a Netflix deal in Yugoslavia or something. Whoa. Look at the season. It's good. It's so good. They don't care about like me too. Shit out there. So they'll just take them. Right. They would take him Yugoslavia. They would take him. Yeah. Who else would you

Starting point is 01:01:37 sign? Danny Masterson. From jail, we could do a podcast podcast. Look see this guy. Whoa. That's so you're thinking podcast. Let's see this guy. Oh, that's so you're thinking that he's moving in shaken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy is always moving in shaken. I'll take all the canceled people. Cosby. Yeah, what you was going on tour.

Starting point is 01:01:55 We would make so much money. That tour is never going to happen. Look up Bill Cosby on tour. There's no yeah, that's not going to happen because you're not repiting him. Yeah, we would make yeah, we would send him to like South America, Asian, you know, who's opening for Bill Cosby? Who? Whoever he makes. All right, we'll be right back.

Starting point is 01:02:09 All right, all right. Plan to tour in 2023. Yeah, that's an old article. It's not gonna happen. That's what I mean. Fucking loser. That guy sucks. He sucks.

Starting point is 01:02:19 You think he'll sell ticket? Piece of shit. Yeah, of course, I sell fucking tickets. So many people will go to see him. They're in denial or they don't know about it. No, no, it's not even that. They, they, they, they, they want to see. It's like the way I saw an accident yesterday and I stopped like a moron to look at it. You just, and people want to see chaos. If I asked, if I said I got tickets front row to a cosy show and backstage, would you go? I would immediately call a hair and makeup person to

Starting point is 01:02:41 get us in, in, in disguises. Right. Yeah. in in disguises. Right. Who would you look like? Huh? Who would you look like? Who would I dress up as? Yeah. Steve Harvey. My hero. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:51 Yeah. I love Steve Harvey. I would do Bernie. You're Bernie. Bernie Mac. Yeah. A man. A man.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Yeah. And I would be like a skeleton because I'm like, you know, I'm dead. Oh my god. I love a skeleton mummy kind of vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. What love a skeleton mummy kind of vibe. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. What did I see?

Starting point is 01:03:07 Look up 105 year old Mexican grandmother. This woman, they gave her like a cake. It was online. There was a woman in bed on TikTok. It was 105 and I was like, she's not dead. Her? She's not dead.

Starting point is 01:03:23 Oh, that's the one. That woman? And it's gotta be the one. 105. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, when you're Mexican and a woman and you look like Voldemort, you're dead. 105. That's insane. 105. Yeah. She's making the best tamales though. She's making the best time, Alice. Oh, yeah. How could you last that look at that? It's always that. Yeah, 119. 119?

Starting point is 01:03:48 Young, young, still young. Yeah, Cain Tanaka. She was the oldest of him person. What do you do at 119? For fun. I think you get excited with. Look. Yeah, when you do, look what I'm doing.

Starting point is 01:04:01 When you, when you, with your finger. If you're able to look to the left. Right, that's a big thing. That's a huge deal. What'd you do today? Great,'m doing. When you, when you, with your finger. If you're able to look to the left. Right, that's a big thing. That's a huge deal. Yeah. What'd you do today, great, great, great, great grandmother? I looked to the left.

Starting point is 01:04:10 Oh. She turns her head, you just feel like, eh, eh, eh. Like, what do you do to watch Netflix? Imagine. She's like, I just listened to little Yaddy's new album. She knows everything. She's bumping that shit.

Starting point is 01:04:24 Yeah. She looks like raisins and praying. It's what God. Raisins at gin soaked raisins and prayer are the things that made her last that long. Gin soaked raisins and prayer. Let's get in on that. We gotta get in on that. You can't have that.

Starting point is 01:04:37 Yeah, you can't have that. You can't do that. Yeah, I don't know what you do. Like, you know. What's gonna keep, what's gonna keep, you know what keeps people, you know what keeps you young, you're attitude.'s gonna keep, what's gonna keep, you know what keeps people, you know what keeps you young, your attitude. You know many people I know go,

Starting point is 01:04:48 your boy Bobby, hold is he? And I always say 51 and they go, shut the fuck up. Everybody, because of your attitude and your approach to life, everybody thinks you're 40. Yeah. It's insane. I think that's the way to do it.

Starting point is 01:05:01 Your approach. Yeah. Your approach to life is always gonna to dictate how people receive you. Look at Pete. Pete's 19. Whoa, you look shit Pete. Pretty grizzled for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:15 Whoa. And he's never been, he looks like he's fought in war. Yeah. But he hasn't. He's just, that's his chiseled grizzled way. Sit down. Yeah, when I see women at my age, I'm like, You can't do it.

Starting point is 01:05:27 And it's not because I just can't do it. What's the oldest woman you would go on a date with? 40. Well, that's very appropriate. Do you think that is? Of course, that's appropriate. A 40-year-old woman? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:41 A good divorcee with a couple of kids? Yeah, 40. 40. Yeah. 40? I know you won't, 40 I think is, I know you won't, but I think that's commendable. I gotta say this. This episode has been great without fancy, and I'm happy he's not here.

Starting point is 01:05:54 Oh no. I thought I was gonna miss him, did miss him even a little bit. Did miss him even. He's fancy. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. We miss him.

Starting point is 01:06:02 I did podcasts. Yeah, you did his podcast, which, you know, everyone's done it except for me. You gotta do it. It's like, you know, everybody says you gotta do it. I had fun. Be the rebel, don't. Does it pay?

Starting point is 01:06:14 No. Well, then why am I doing this, pot? That's what Chet Hanks asked me. Does it pay? Chet Hanks asked for, for my, yeah, to be on Fancy Show. That's very funny. Well, I mean, after, I can't believe he'd want to do anything

Starting point is 01:06:26 after being on an Eric Andre show. Do you see that what Eric Andre did to him? No. My God. You should, you need to watch that. It's fucking amazing. What is it? The Eric Andre show.

Starting point is 01:06:34 I know what it is. Yeah, he fucks with Chet Hanks the whole time. Bring it, you'll see. It's, I mean, it's great, dude. Is it new season? Yeah. Oh, yeah, this past year's season. It's great, dude. It's just...

Starting point is 01:06:45 Absolute brilliant, stack-eye show. I wish I had a show like that. That's so fun. If we did a bad friend show, we just like fucked with guests. That's so fun. Ugh. But is that...

Starting point is 01:06:58 He signed up to do that, does he? They all do. They all do. Everyone that comes on, they know it's chaos. I mean, if you've watched it once, you know. Would you do that. Does he? They all do. They all do. Everyone that comes on that they know it's chaos I mean if you've watched it once yeah, yeah, you know would you do it as a guest? He would never ask me to be a guy. I don't think he would ask me either. Well, we're friends. It'd be weird He wouldn't yeah, yeah, yeah, he wants people that he liked that kind of doesn't know right because then it's like You're allowed to get a you can do whatever you don't want to do that to your buddy. It'd be weird be feel so all because I've never seen

Starting point is 01:07:23 I was the first time ever seen it really. Yeah, oh, it's such feel. So all, because I've never seen that. I was the first time I've ever seen it. Really? Oh, it's such a good show. It's such a good show. It's such a good show. There's so much good shit. Really? Like so much. I want to watch it.

Starting point is 01:07:32 Oh. I haven't seen it in a long time. I saw it when Hannibal was on it. Yeah, now Felipe is, that's awesome. Felipe is like sidekick. That's correct. Hannibal Burst used to be like the sidekick on the show.

Starting point is 01:07:41 Oh, really? Yeah, I'm hysterical. And they would fuck with people together. I mean, it's just so good. It's just like the,kick on the show. Or really? Yeah, I'm hysterical. And they would fuck with people together. I mean, it's just so good. It's just like, that's the last remains of comedy being free and stupid for no reason. Yeah, yeah. It's so fun.

Starting point is 01:07:52 Gay blade. Gay blade so fun. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what that is, not to give credit, but that's why Mad TV became successful because it didn't take itself that serious. It was fucking whack-a-do nonsense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:05 It didn't care. So people could say whatever they want about comparing that to SNL. Because they were like, SNL is this tied up, Emmy writing, winning, show, and Tuckets L. very serious. Fucking, Matt Hivy never took itself serious. That's fucking great. Hey y'all, hey, we're launching a Patreon.

Starting point is 01:08:44 That's right, patreon.com slash bad friends and you get more than more You get more than more not only do you get the episode on Friday instead of Monday You get it Friday at free at free so you get the episode at free on Friday instead of on Monday and you get extra bonus content and you know we do weird stuff like this the bad friends port is now in session Honorable judge Bobby Lee and honorable judge Andrew Santino presided Tony's Victoria employees broke into her restaurant and stole her secret recipe for the legendary perfect pizza pizza Hey, we know what I'm gonna see because I sound the counter three one two three

Starting point is 01:09:24 You're on with the bad friends how thick is it how thick is it are you Mormon yeah? That's great man We love you and I hope you don't get deported anytime soon good bye. So patreon dot com slash bad friends What is it Bob patreon dot com slash bad friend? I got to do it the link is in the description below! I'm gonna have to get out of here.

Bad Friends - Two Nuts in Cohoots

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