Bad Friends - Unpicked Boogers From The Vault

Episode Date: January 3, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors:  https://stitchfix.com/badfriends & http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://upstart.com/badfriends & https://hellofresh.com/badfriends16 code: BADFRIENDS16 YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 Special Announcement   0:31 Fancy B Introduces The Show  2:31 Unaired "Episode 4"  36:55 "Unaired Cinco de Mayo"  1:08:24 Fancy B Closes The Show Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, we have a bunch of footage and things that have happened on this podcast that we've never aired, nobody's seen it, and we're gonna air them Yeah, because Fancy and George decided they want something to do over the holidays So they're gonna be commenting and talking about stuff that you've never seen that we've put in the vault It's fun. We're unearthing it right now for you bad friends. Yeah, fun. Fun You two are bad friends! Who are these two idiots? White people and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

Who are you two or something? We're bad friends. Hey bad friends! Feliz Daniel 2022. Hope you guys had an awesome, awesome holiday I'm your host today, Fancy B, and we're gonna do something we've never done before. I'm gonna show you two episodes we've never aired. Why you might ask? Well, because Bobby or Andrew are both

While recording didn't feel they were on. They weren't clicking as much. They weren't as funny I think that's complete bullshit. We're gonna cut all that stuff. We're gonna cut this up. It's so bad this episode. It's so bad. Let's start again. We're gonna cut it up.

We're not rolling because all the stuff we just did was a waste. I just feel like not connected to it. I know. Delete it off the face of the planet. I'm so loopy. You're gonna have to cut so much of this. He's not in a good mood. His energy is weird. We're not clicking. We're not clicking.

Come in here, Andre. We'll talk about this episode. All this stuff has to really be deleted off the face of the earth. Let's start over. The first episode you guys are gonna see is the fourth episode we ever shot. It was my first time on the show. You'll see the set as it was completely bare. They said that you guys shit on a lot before any of this stuff was here. It was the show where George was the only producer.

We didn't have as many cameras. We didn't have as much stuff as we do right now. And it comes at the right time because as Andrew mentioned on the New Year's episode, we are moving. We're moving to a bigger set to accommodate for all of the stuff that is happening on Bad Friends. Please let us know what you think. If you think this is funny.

If you think it was worth for me going into the vault and unearthing this episode. So without further ado, like you guys make fun of me. Let's watch episode four of Bad Friends. It's a charity. We have them on as a charity. We know this. It's like, hey, it's like, you know, I have my friend who has a mental disability. Right.

He, you know, if I worked at McDonald's, can he be the fry guy? Have you ever given somebody like that a job just because just out of charity? I just did with George with the tiger belly and then with this. Why do you think you continue to give George charity then? Because he has, I feel sorrow, pure sorrow. It's like when I see Yemen kids starving. Okay. The kids in Yemen starving.

I look at George and I go, he's starving for pussy. He's starving for attention. He's starving for. Is there anything that you think he's not starving for? Whiteness. What? You think he doesn't want to be white? No, I think he doesn't.

He's full of it. Right. He's full of whiteness and entitlement. Yeah, he is. Yeah. But that's the farm shit though. Right. Farm whites.

Well, he's fixing the cameras right now. How does everything look? He doesn't have good eyesight, so you wouldn't even know. It's like a, you know, the fry guy, hey, you put the fry on too much in the oil. Why can't you talk, you're not going to talk about the podcast about, about what we're just talking about. About what? Why do you think, why is it that you think you're not, you haven't worked hard enough,

you're not famous enough. You don't want to talk about the person, you don't want to talk about the person that I just, that we just brought up. No, what I'm saying is, is that, you know, for the amount of time that I've been doing comedy, sometimes you're in situations where you're around a friend who is just doing more and doing better. How many, how many years have you been doing comedy? For over 20 years.

And so you think to yourself, where did I go wrong? But you know what? If I look at what I do have, I'm grateful. Yeah, but it doesn't sound like it. Yeah, I want to put a shotgun in my mouth. You know, pull the trigger, you know, and just all over and they'll say fucking bad friends on the fucking wall. That would be tight art for the show.

You know the fans, you know the fans hate the show, they hate the desk, they hate the decor, they say it looks like a dentist office. I told, I fucking already told you that you fucking, you have no artistic gut. This wasn't art. This was me putting something together. In a shitty way. To get it done as fast as possible. In the most terrible way possible.

To give it, to put the show out. Yeah. How much time did you spend on it? You never give me the chance. How much time did you spend on it? How much, welcome back to how much time did you spend on it? Our contest today is Bobby Lee. Bobby, how much time did you spend on it?

Let me ask you this. Ooh, that's wrong friend, nothing. Will you listen to me right now? I'm listening. All right, you have different degrees of chefs, correct? You have the guy at McDonald's. That's not a chef, that's a cook. Oh, whatever that guy.

Well, don't disrespect real chefs. All right, then you have the chef at Chef Boyardee. Not a chef. Chef Boyardee is a real chef. No, he's not. Look at his name. Why would they put chef on the fucking thing? Because it sounds nice.

They're not going to write line cook. Mr. Schult is not a doctor? Who? The Dr. Schultz, the foot guy. Schultz? Dr. Schultz? Schultz. Schultz.

Whatever. It's Schultz. I buy it, it's very good. You do it. I love you. You know what? And you leave my feed every day, thank you. You buy Dr. Schultz because you like the extra lift.

It's not for the comfort. That's because you're a tiny person. I want to play you a song. We can't play songs on this podcast, can we? Ah, fuck. I know what song it is already. And you know what? It's going to piss me off.

You know, I want to cut this off right now. I know, but you're going to play this song again. You played it last week? I didn't play it. Yeah, you did not play it last week before this show. No, this is Randy Newman. Yeah. Short people got no reason.

Short people got no reason to live. They got little hands, little eyes. Walk around, tell a great big lie. They got little nosy, tiny little teeth. They wore platform shoes on their nasty little feet. Oh, bro. Bro, it's people like you. Do you feel better?

You know, I... Do you feel better as a friend? Do you feel better? I absolutely not. And also, I've been watching a show on Netflix called I Am a Killer. I watched it. You watched that show? Yeah.

Yeah. Every single one, I think that's sentino. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, you're... I don't know what happened. You fucking won the lottery by not... I don't know, circumstances or whatever.

You think I could have been a serial killer? You could have killed somebody accidentally, yes. Accidentally? On purpose. On purpose. No, no, no. Right. I've killed someone accidentally.

I've never done it on purpose. I killed three guys in Mexico on accident. I crashed an ATV and I killed three guys. Like Matthew Broderick. Same. Yeah. I killed three guys in Mexico on an ATV and... Are you joking right now?

Nope. And how... You feel good about that? I don't feel anything about it. They're gone. Yeah. You know, Latinos, what they call them, they're real people too. They weren't...

First of all, they were white. Oh, fine. They were tourists. It was a white tourist family. Were it from England or from where? They were South African. That's how I knew. That's how I know you're lying.

No, South Africa. You were just in South Africa earlier. And then you said South Africa. Because I was thinking about telling you where they're really from. South Africa. Because you're making it up. South Africa. I was speeding at them in the ATV.

And they go, stop right there. No, we're on the ATV as well. Yeah. And I crashed into them. I killed a family. A mother, a daughter, and a dad. You know, I ran over a guy. Shut up.

Right, George? I ran over a guy. If we're being genuine, I hit a guy with my car. I'm dead serious. I didn't kill him, but I hit him with my... My guy? He might be dead. He can never walk again.

You paralyzed a man? Well, you killed three people. That was a joke. Me too. Dude, what did you do? All right, so when I was 17 years old... Have you told this before? Has he told this before?

I barely remember it, so maybe a long time ago. Yeah, a long time ago. So you should not tell it? No, I want to know. I've never heard this story. Yeah, it's not that big of a deal. Yes, it is. You paralyzed a guy.

It's not that big of a fucking deal. Yes, it is. Oh. Hey, I paralyzed a guy. Not so big of a deal. For who? You? You have legs.

You walked again. Yeah. So a man is in a chair somewhere. I wobble. You do. You rollie-poly. Yeah, rollie-poly. You're like those Matrushka dolls.

You have low base. I was driving down the street in my... I had a Toyota truck. And... Don't do that. Don't wink at the camera about a Toyota truck. It was nice though. And I had a Toyota truck.

I was going down the street. And somebody had lifted the stop sign out of the ground. So there was no stop sign. Really? Well, you look at the police report. This is like a bad teenage fucking print. I was a teenager. It was like a bad teenage movie.

I was 16, 17 years old. Okay. So I just turned right. And the next thing I knew, I see a body fly over my car. You didn't feel the body? You didn't feel it? I turn right? I hear...

And I see... And there's a guy... You're like that. And you hit a man. And then I ran him over. Because he hit the back of my car in his motorcycle. He went over my car. Over your car.

Yeah. And did you stay around to see if he was okay? Yeah, of course. I'm not a fucking psychopath. Okay. I pulled over to the side. Was it your fault? Yeah.

By the way, what an Asian ringtone. You picked the most Asian. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Yeah. Hello. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Bop, bop, bop, bop.

You pulled over. Cops came. Amber lamps came. No, what happened? No, let me... We get out of the car. And I'm laughing. You're laughing?

Yeah, because whenever I'm in a stressful situation or I think... Because I think my life is over. I don't know. When I'm in a situation where I'm like... It's only happened a couple of times in my life where I'm in a horrific situation where it happens either when I'm in a funeral, you know what I mean? Or it happens when... No, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. You laugh at a funeral? Or if I see somebody like really get injured, I'll laugh maniacally. That... Because it's so horrifying. And you say, I'm fucked up? That's so fucked up. It's called a defense mechanism, Chach.

That's not defensiveness. That's fucking chaos in your brain. Whatever's, brah. Things are broken. There's wires crossed. Brah, brah, brah. Whatever's, brah. Okay, brah.

So I go, right, I get out and I go, I still laugh. Yeah, like a psychopath. Yeah. Right. And then I go, I should get him off the road so I pulled his body. Shut the fuck up. You touched a guy who's, you just hit with your car? What the fuck am I gonna do?

Leave him there? You don't, you don't touch them? No, you're not supposed to touch those people. It was car, it was traffic-y. Stop, stop! No, I pulled him on the side of the road. Okay, you grabbed him by the legs? No, his shoulder, and I, and I, by his shirt, I was just dragging him.

Jesus. And then I took parts of his motorcycle, you know what I mean? Like screws or like a wheel and whatnot. And I was like putting it on the side of the road. And then the cops come, and then ambulance and everything, they take him away. I remember calling my parents. Was he coherent? Did you talk to him?

He was going, like that. So yeah, so totally normal. Yeah. So you, you try to talk to him at all or no? Like, I'm sorry, buddy. While laughing. I was like, I'm sorry, buddy. Like that.

And then what happened? And then, and then I remember for years, I went to court and, but it turned out he was a pedophile. Oh, so you did a good deed. You paralyzed a pedophile. Yep. You pee-peed. Yeah.

So if his dick broke, that's God's work. What if his dick was the only thing that still, still did work and he would still go to like near elementary schools, like, get over here, young boy, come sit on my lap and his dick is the only thing that works. I forget how I found out he was a pedophile, but I think my attorney told me that he had a long rap sheet of like being like. I love that conversation with your attorney. Yeah.

Well, Bobby, he's paralyzed forever, but he was a pedophile to be honest. Yeah. Well, that was, because that, I think that made me go, because I felt such, you know me, I'm just a guilty person. Yes. And I'm so sensitive. Yep. That it was like traumatic.

Yeah, that is traumatic. Yeah. But he's a pedophile. So I guess it's like no, no one cares. He completely relieved everything. I don't even think about it. And I think the insurance gave him like a million dollars or something like that. What?

Yeah. But not from you. You didn't have to pay anything. The insurance did. But then I couldn't get insurance for a year. I was like, I have to get insurance. But that wasn't your fault, right? He hit you.

It wasn't. But I just feel like there, because there was a stop sign. Oh, and they pulled the stop sign. I think the argument was that I pulled the stop sign before they got there, but look at me. Yeah. Look at you. The stop sign out of the fucking ground, and it was on the ground flat, you know?

Somebody had done that. Someone hit it and left it there. Yeah. Well, I hit a guy. In South Africa, right? You fuck. No, I really did hit a guy. I hit a guy on Beverly and Crescent Heights.

And I mean, I hit him hard. I was driving to a, I was driving to go talk to these people from a show I was gonna get fired from. I was about to get fired. I knew. Which show was it? It was a hosting job I did. But I knew that I was gonna get fired.

I knew it was over. Right? So they were gonna take me to dinner and have drinks, and as I was leaving the apartment, I was like, I don't wanna fucking go to the, I know they're just gonna fire me. I just knew it. I was like, just call me. I don't wanna go to drinks with you guys. I'm fucking done.

Leave me alone. Yeah. Right? I don't wanna do it. Yeah. So I'm driving, and this is like one of those times in LA where it's pouring down rain. Never happens. This was, I don't know, eight years ago, nine years ago.

Rain down rain, and the street at Crescent Heights and Beverly flooded, okay? So I get there, there's no one around. I start to go through the light to make a left, a car opposite direction, heading north, splash, splash, on my window. I can't see anything. Oh, oh, oh, oh! I swerve. Yeah.

Guess what I swerve into? A human. A human man. Oh, wow. That's all I hear. Oh, my God. Window shatters. Glass in my face.

No. Glass in my face. I pull over. I get out. There's a man. His leg looks like it's touching his fucking neck. Whoa! Yeah.

He puts his body up, like pulls himself up, and I'm like, what the fuck, what the fuck, what happened? Three of his friends come running. He ran illegally across the street. They stayed. So I hit him his fault, okay? Yeah. Shattered my windshield, smashed my hood.

I pull over, a woman pulls over, some fucking bitch in a minivan pulls over and is like, I saw it. I saw it. I bet you're fucked up. I bet you're drunk. You hit this guy. How did you not see him? And I was like, shut the fuck up, lady.

I was losing my mind. I'm trying to stay balanced. I said, let me call the cops. And the guy goes, don't call the cops. I was like, let me call the cops. I'm going to call an ambulance to make sure you're okay. He goes, don't call the fucking cops. Get the fuck out of here.

Don't call the cops. And I was like, why? And he's like, just get the fuck out of here and leave me alone. So I call the cops anyway, because I'm like, this is shady, he could leave and then two years later be like, my neck, I'm fucking going to sue you for millions of dollars. I call the cops and in traditional LAPD fashion, they don't show up for, I'm there for a half an hour in the rain, half an hour in the rain. This guy's there for probably 15 minutes, that half hour.

And then finally he goes, fuck this and gets up and like hobbles away with his friend. And I'm like, dude, stay, you can't leave. Let me give you my information. And the guy's like, fuck you, get away from me. They all had backpacks on. I imagine they either, can I do it? They're pedophiles? Well, can I do it?

My bad. Can I do it? Okay. Cause you just did it. I imagine they were either had drugs in their backpack, had a warrant for their arrest, or they just come from a place where they fucked kids. Pedophile. Cause they stole the backpacks from kids.

Yeah, dude, you wouldn't let me finish the joke. You just cut me off at the fucking turn. I wanted to laugh. Well, you stole it. You stole the laugh. That's life. I told you I got arrested in front of the comedy store. No.

I got pulled over. Do you remember when that guy got shot at the comedy store? A man got shot in the chest and died. Remember that? Do you not remember that? It was a gang member. They got shot and killed at the comedy store. No.

You don't remember this? I do. No. Yeah. He got shot and killed at point playing range. And it was terrible. And you know no one gave a fuck. You know why?

Why? He was a pedophile. Are you being real? No. Tell your story. You know who held him? Who? Josh Nasser.

Really? Yeah. I told him. Is he a pedophile? Yes. No. Josh Nasser is a great guy. But you know all those doormen at the comedy store had to get like trauma therapy.

Why? When you see a guy die in front of you, you need therapy. A guy died on one of my flights. I saw a guy die on my flight. And I literally said out loud, if this makes me fucking late to my gig, I'm going to be so mad. Are you really? Yeah.

Yeah. I saw a jogger. Yeah. I saw a jogger dead in La Jolla. Oh no, dude, here's another. A dude died next to me in an AA meeting. No. Yeah.

I was at a Wednesday night AA meeting, right, in La Jolla. It was called Winner Circle. Winner Circle? Winner Circle. Yeah. I don't know if it's still there. But it was, this is in the 80s. Because I was in high school.

I was an AA in high school. You started AA. Yeah. You've been AA so long. You've been fucking. Yeah. I remember he sat next to me. Yeah.

And then the AA meeting started and some guys up there going, yeah, so, you know, my last drunk was on a cliff, I almost jumped off and this and that. And I turned to my left and this dude's just like that. Wait. Did he die during the meeting? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the share was bad.

Heart attack? Yeah. Heart attack? Yeah, it was a heart attack. But then here's the fucked up part. All right. We had a couple of doctors in there, right, so they take the guy out, but then they're like, keep the meeting going.

Yeah. Now you really got to stay sober. Yeah. Right. Because they say a dead guy. I'm going to want to drink. But what was fucked up is I'm sharing. Oh.

Right. But all I hear is them doing CPR. Right. So my rock bottom three, four, five. Yeah. It was fucking, it was fucking up my share. So you got a bad share because of the CPR? Yeah.

I was like, I'm Bobby Alcoholic. Three, two, right. And one, right, and three, two, one, but my mom, three, two, I was like, what the fuck? I can't get it out. So it ruined your moment? It ruined that meeting, but I remember him dying. It was really fucked up. Did you ever try to be funny at AA meetings?

Oh, dude, I used to go like this. They used to go, when I was in rehab, they would take you to meetings and they go, is there any newcomers? Right. So you go, I'm Bobby. I'm an alcoholic. People, hi, Bobby. Right.

I'm, and I used to go, yummy, alcoholic, right? And me and my friend, we're not supposed to say their names. Yeah. He's dead. But, uh, pedophile. But he, uh, we, he, him and I would giggle, laughing. Yeah. And he would do the same thing.

He would like share. I'm John and just fart and we would just laugh and out of the, um, 22 kids, right? That went to that rehab. He, him and I were the only one to stay sober. Wow. So you were with him four years ago? Was it wise guys? Salt Lake.

Salt Lake and, um, he was in the front row. He was? Yeah. As my boy. How'd he die? He's not dead. I lied. I lied a lot.

But is he a pedophile? No. Whoa. He's a good dude. That's a lot of information to put out about a guy that he did his full legal name. What if he gets fired now? He's not, he's a good dude. What does he work?

What does he work? I don't know. I didn't know. Fuck, man. Let's find out. I don't know where John Basanik is. Don't stop saying his whole name. He, no.

Don't stop. Okay. Okay. You don't know. You don't know. What if he's up to some bad shit now? I think about that all the time. What if someone from your past that used to love, it gets into some shit now that you're

like, fuck, I can't believe. Somebody from my, there was a kid from my high school who got arrested for jerking off outside of like a Papa John staring at high school teenage girls. Can I tell you something? He looked a lot like you. I swear to God in my life. I swear to God in my life. Can I show you?

This is insane. Yeah. Yeah. This guy looks like you, dude. You charged with sexual exploitation of a child of a police officer who's filming as many inside of his pants. I was on an ice cream parlor window. Sorry.

Not a Papa John. George, remember I told you what am I looked to be? Bobby Lee. This is the look I'm going for. I was going to get beard implants. It's you. That's who I wanted to be. Yeah.

There's a kid I went to high school with. There's a kid I went to high school with. It's a good look. Let's be honest. That's a shady good look. He looks dope. Yeah. It looks dope.

This kid was a party animal, man. We used to get high and watch belly at his house. Remember the movie belly? Yeah. Yeah. He got charged masturbating outside of an ice cream parlor window. Can I tell you another fucked up story because it reminds me of that one? Of course.

I used to work at a restaurant called the Brockton Villa. It's in La Jolla. Wait a minute. It's still there. I know that restaurant. Yeah. I used to wait tables there. You did?

Yeah. Yeah. I used to wear a tie. You know what I mean? Yeah. And put my hair in a ponytail. Yeah. And do the wine and the whole thing.

What's so fucking funny? I know. It was terrible. Was you holding a wine bottle with this? I was pro, dude. I've had all kinds of jobs, bro. Okay. Pitch me right now.

I'm at the Brockton Villa right now. Yeah. Okay. Ready? Here we go. Well, anyway, yeah. And that's kind of... Hey.

Welcome to the Brockton Villa. Here we go. We have a salmon fillet that's lightly crusted with a little crumb. I don't know the fucking thing, but like lightly crusted. We have a tomato basil soup that's freshly made in-house. And we also have a banana pudding cake that we made. Great. Yeah.

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Anyway, I was working there, fucker, I was working there, and there was this waitress who just... She was missing. She disappeared. Yeah, and we... One shift, they're like, I forgot her name, Cindy, I don't know her front name. Who knows, she disappeared. Well, she came back, but I'll tell you what happened.

So she came back. For weeks, she disappeared. And then, you know where they found her? They found her on Catalina Island in a hotel room tied to a bed, and she had been repeatedly raped. Oh my God, this is a terrible fucking story. I know, but here's the good part. Oh, there's the good part?

Yeah. She turned into an angel. No, she... And she flew away into the sky. No, she... They found her. She went back to work two days later, and I remember waiting tables with her. Her eye was still bloodshot.

Whatever pupils were like, completely red. Did you talk to her? Yeah, I go, Cindy, you all right? I'm fine. Are you all right? Well, I don't know what to say. Nothing. You say nothing.

No, you have to say something. Here's me. Here's... You're Cindy. You're back. Ready? Yeah. Say hi to me.

Hi. Hey. That's weirder. No, hold on. Yeah. What are you doing back here? I got completely raped on a catalyzed island. No, I know.

Yeah. Why don't you need to take some time for yourself? I need money. Oh, you do? Yeah. Oh. Well, do you want to take 46 and 47? Yeah.

Because they don't tip, but they've been here before. Yeah. Yeah. That's terrible. Yeah. She worked... She worked again. The woman disappeared.

She came back. And she came back. She came back. Yeah. That's awful, dude. I didn't do it. Well... That's so sad.

I would never be able to do anything like that. Really abuse or assault somebody? I would not even conceive of it. I fucking hope not. You're saying it like it's a thing that you might... It's like... You're talking about it like it's skydiving. Yeah.

You're like, no, I don't think I could do that. I don't know if that's for me. That's insane. I know, but I couldn't. No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most humans don't. Because it's like the motive...

Like, first of all, what would motivate me to do it? You have to ask that. Would you ever join a gang? Oh, yeah. You would have joined a gang? Yeah. Because there's initiations. I wouldn't be able to do it.

Because they beat you up? No. Even if... You know how some gangs are like, you know, you got to kill two humans. You know what I mean? To join the gang. You got to get jumped in first. First of all, they beat the shit out of you.

Jumping? Because I don't have like this right nerve endings. Because when Ari Schiffier beat the shit out of me, I didn't really feel anything. Oh, so you could take a jump in? Yeah, I can take that. Do the Yakuza jump people in? No, they chop a finger off. That's tight.

Which one do they do? This one. They chop a finger? I think so, yeah. Because you're married to the gang? Yeah, yeah. That's fucking dope. So they chop the finger.

I couldn't do that, could you? I could take a finger more than I would take a beating. What? Because I've been in enough fistfights and fights hurt a lot and one-on-one sucks. If you're getting beat by like five, six dudes, yeah, they could beat you to death or your brain could go gone. Yeah, but not if you do this. I do this when I'm beating beat up.

They could still get you, dude. They kick you in the head enough times you die. Yeah. Cut off my finger. Fine. Yeah. And then they got the proper stuff to wrap it. What if there was a gang that like cut off your nut sack?

Would you do that? No way. One nut? No. Half a nut? Yeah. Okay. Half a nut seems okay.

Half a nut's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just get rid of one then because half a nut probably doesn't work. It probably doesn't look good. Well, you can't tell it's in a sack. And then you'd have to explain it. You know how those refrigerators? It's half a nut.

You know how those refrigerators that you can look inside and see what's inside the fridge? You ever seen this? There's like translucent? Yeah. That'd be cool if you could look inside your sack and see which... Because I would love to see what's going on inside of my sack. Oh, yeah. It would be a lazy party.

Yeah. My dudes would be just like floating there like this. Here's my guys like this. As soon as you open it up, here's my guys. Hey, what are you doing here? Yeah. What are you doing in here? Yeah.

Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah. One time in college? Yeah. I had... I got this thing. I had this thing.

It's like pain in my nut and the doctor told me to go jerk off in a hot tub. I swear to God on my life. He told me masturbate in a hot tub. So I did. It didn't go away. Really? No. It didn't go away and I went back and I said, I did what you said and it didn't go away.

And he goes, huh. That's it. A doctor. Yeah. He goes, huh. My mom and dad had a bathtub. A jetted tub? No, it was just a regular.

But the faucet of the bathtub was so strong. You'd put it against your clit? So it'd sit there like this, right? When my dad was at, my parents were at work. And like this. And it would go down and I would go, I would just jerk off with the water flowing on it. Wait, wait. Ow, ow.

Like going on the head of your penis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. But I would jerk off too. It felt so good. So hard water. Yeah.

And I would jerk off too like this, right? Yeah. And I would go like this, like this. And then one time, and this is not a lie. I swear to God. I go, and I was making this noise. And then all of a sudden I hear, and I turn around, it's my dad. And he never brought it up.

We never really, he never discussed it. Did you not? No. Why? I went, and it's not my dad. And we locked eyes like this. Yeah. And then he walked out of the room, and then it was just like great shame.

Yeah. Yeah. It is. You know, that's how I, when I jerk off, when I was young, when I first started jerking off, I did what I call the rock star slide. What's that? I would jerk off like this always. Spread like, because you know how I ride a guitar?

So this is literally because my desk was about this height at home. So if I was looking at porn, I would jerk off like this into something on the ground. Yeah. I would always rock star slide. And one time, after I was rock star sliding, I'd been jerking off twice or three times or four times that day, because I was young. And I was wearing basketball shorts, and I sat down on the couch, and my knees were discolored, because I was in that knee position.

And my dad was like, what the fuck you been doing? Really? Yeah. He saw my knees and was like, what's wrong? What happened? Was that from basketball? I was like, yeah, I took a spill in basketball. I bruised my knees, because I jerked off so much.

I rock star slide it, because it was my favorite way to come. Were you at that age, because I was such a depressed kid. Were you depressed? Were you always happy, go lucky? No. I went through depression a few times. When I first went to high school, I was very depressed, because I had no friends. I went to a different school than all my friends went to.

I had no friends. I was a fucking total loser. My mom knew things were bad, because I was doing really good in school. She said that. She goes, you were killing it. I knew something was wrong. I was getting straight A's. She was like, something's wrong, because my whole life, I never got straight A's.

I fucked around. Oh, you put your attention on school. Yeah, I focused on school, because I didn't have any friends. Then I slowly made friends, and my grades went way down. Drugs, buds, so that was my big problem. Drugs and friends, they plummeted my grades. I wasn't depressed anymore, but I was depressed at the beginning for a long time. I didn't think about killing myself, but I used to cry a lot in my room to Pearl Jam's

Vitalgy album. Really? I did. If I got no fight with my parents, I'd put on the song Better Man, and I would cry. Yeah, when I would live in Minnesota, and then we moved to San Diego. I remember this distinctly. The first day of school, we played softball, and I was running to a base, and this Filipino just kicked me in the nutsack.

For no reason? It hurt so bad. I thought I was going to die, and I was crying, and no one helped me. That's the epitome of my life. Did you throw up? I didn't throw up, but I just remember going. Even at that age, I always had thoughts of just vanishing or dying. Of going away?

Yeah, of going away, yeah. Your brother says the same things. You know that. Yeah, no, my brother does, too. That's so sad to me. Yeah, because you have to understand, because of the trauma at home. I understand. I know it's just, it's still sad that you want to.

I know, but I'm just telling you, fucker. Yeah, we all know. But the trauma, I'm not going to get into it, but the trauma at home, and then when some Filipino guy that you don't even know kicks you in the nutsack, right? Yeah. Right? You can't even have that pleasure of stealing a base or whatever. Well, don't steal, don't steal.

You just learned that don't steal a thrill jam, don't steal. Oh. That's what it was. That was, that was, that was chromatic retribution. Yeah. I got, I got, I took a baseball to the nuts when I was in Little League, and I threw up for like no shit, like two minutes straight. I remember having like a big breakfast, and I swear to God, my dad had yelled at me over

and over, wear a cup, wear a cup, wear a cup, and I didn't wear a cup, and I was playing the hot pocket shortstop, caught one right in the nards, and I'm not, it was almost, it was almost instantaneous. It was like, it was like ball hit, not, I couldn't stop throwing up. Imagine how funny it would be if, when you, if you died, right? And you were in heaven, and you're like, Hey, could I see the Andrew Santino clips? Right? And God's like, you mean even the most embarrassing moments?

That would be amazing. Ever since the kid, imagine being a theater, watching your friends embarrassing moment clips as a kid all the way up to their other. That's what heaven really is. We would laugh. You would laugh to the point where you would die again. I would love to be able to see that right before I die, on my deathbed, if they could show you your best of.

The best of, yeah. Oh my God. One of my most, one of my most embarrassing, another embarrassing moment, I was masturbating in my parents, in my mom's room, because they had the VCR in their room, and I had a VCR in, and I thought my mom was gone. My dad might have been in the basement, but my thought my mom was not home, and I thought it was my little sister, and I was jerking off, and my sister, I mean my mom came in the room, but I couldn't see her.

I was on the other side of the room, and I was jerking off, and I just go, Katie, get out! Get out! And my mom goes, it's me, bud. And dude, I'm not kidding. I started sweating, getting hot. I was having like a panic attack for the first time in my life, and my dick got so soft, that it got so small and hard again.

Do you know when it gets hard? If you've ever been so scared, and your dick gets small and hard, no, it gets like swollen and tight. You know that? It gets so tight and swollen and scared. That never happened to me, but that's probably you. Oh my God, it got so scared. Well, let's not talk about my fucking dick with your dick, okay?

But it got tiny and scared. It got so... Why would you attack me? You just said this never happened to me, but we're trying to be relatable here to each other. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm not stepping on you. All right.

You jerked off in a fucking tub, I didn't mock how insane that was. That you let 90 miles an hour rushing water penetrate the head of your penis, psycho. What do you guys think? I thought that was really funny. Anyway, now we have to fast forward almost a year to May 2021. Our Think of the Maya special. What happened that day? Well, again, Andrew had his vaccine shot the day before.

He wasn't feeling that well. Bobby felt the energy was a little off. I think they're super funny like they always are, but they didn't feel it. So we shelved this episode again and re-recorded a couple days later on the same set. And if you go to our website, you'll see that, you know, the Think of the Amigos was air and you'll see that is exactly the same set. But we've never seen or you've never seen this episode. So here is the Think of the Maya special.

Bro, you can't do that anymore. You can do that. You can do that. Mr. Speedy. When I used to go to Tijuana, you would walk down the street like in Tijuana back in the late 80s, early 90s. And you'd have like kids come up to you and go, check this. Mr. Please, Mr.

Yeah. And you're like, get the fuck off me, I'm in a hurry. Do your bike checklist, please. I was telling her earlier, I used to sell corn. Sell corn? Do you know that? Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I used to sell corn. By the way, watching you sell corn, what a great bit to watch you sell corn. I wish I was around for that. Yeah. So I had to wake up five in the morning and pick up a corn from Dunnell, Yasawachi's farm and go to the side of the freeway and I had this corn stand and I told the Mexican guys to make me a sign, a big corn sign because no more was coming.

So I was like, on the side of the road and the sign said Cron, C-R-O-N, so the sign said Cron, right, and then a couple days later, not a single person came to my corn stand. Your Cron stand? My Cron stand, so I told my dad, my dad goes, you know why? I go, why? Because you have to yell the corn. You have to what? Yell the corn.

Oh, you have to yell the corn? I'm on the side of the freeway. Yeah. So now the next day, right, I've got corn in my hand, right, and I'm going, right, screaming it, right, and I had to do it because I had this fear that my dad would be across the street. Watching you. Watching me.

Launa! Yeah, yeah. And it was a nightmare. Did you make any money doing that for real? You did it for like how long, you said? A whole summer. Yeah. And he, I had to work 12 hours.

Oh my God. And he gave me a hundred bucks. For 12 hours? Yeah, yeah. And this little one, this little ungrateful little girl, right? She goes, did the baby today on the car? What were you doing at 19? So I was telling her I was selling corn, I wore constructions, and I go, if I was on,

you know what I mean, a radio show like this or a podcast, it would have been a life changer. It would have been a dream. But this means nothing to her. It means zero. Zero. Less than zero. Nothing. How excited are you to come see us?

Oh my God. I know. The breath? The breath. Yeah. Not really, not really at all. Obviously not at all. A little.

Nothing. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. Honestly, that really breaks my heart. Yeah. And I said to her, I said, come on, Jewel, let's go. And she does this face. Like she has to go to jury duty, right?

She goes like this. Did you do that? No. Pull the mic closer to your face. We even got you a new mic. We don't even know how to do this yet after fucking two hours. 67. We don't even know what this is now.

Yeah. It's over a year. Yeah. What have you, what have you taken away from this show that you really do enjoy? Like reading the scripts? Oh, you love reading scripts. Oh, reading scripts. Okay.

Well, we maybe should read a script today. Do we have a Mexican script? By the way, Happy Sync de Mayo to our- What is it? What? I know you're into history. Big time. And you know, and I always, I always call you when I have historical questions and things

that I don't know much about, right? I don't know anything about the Sync de Mayo. I know it's the 5th of May. 5th of May. And so- Used to be the 6th of May. Why? Siete de Mayo.

It used to be Siete. Siete de Mayo. Siete de Mayo. Was there ever uno de Mayo? There, okay, check this out. Yeah. Do you know why it falls on the 5th? Why?

Because of how many soldiers have fought in the Spanish-Mexican-American war. There was a three war. People only know Spanish-American. There was a Spanish-Mexican-American war, right? Uh-huh. I'm dead serious. I love it. And there were five soldiers, right?

That's all, that's all Mexico had. Okay, we have us five. And they showed up. Oh, that's what it was. Right. Well, they had six. It was going to be Siete de Mayo. Ah!

And the 6th one got what? The bay bale. Six means Sase. Huh? Sase is six. I think I know Spanish. And, um, all right. I think I know Spanish.

It's also, you're Spanish and they're Mexican, so it's got to be different. Totally different languages. Yeah, it's got to be different. This is what's so annoying about you is you get real uppity about, you speak Spain-Spanish. This is Mexican-Spanish. Upstart! Oh my god. You know how much hard they got?

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You know, that box of goodies. You know, there's a box. Do you go like this when you see it? Oh, yeah. You're putting your fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's diabolical. So what happens, I drive up.

I see the box. You open up the box. It's easy instructions. Pre-portion meals. Pre-portion meals. Right? You make it. Your family loves it.

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Go to hellofresh.com slash badfriend16, use the code BADFRIEND16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Hi! Go to hellofresh.com slash badfriend16 and use code BADFRIEND16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Hello Fresh America's number one meal kit. Totally different. Anyway, so the Siete de Mayo was going to be the day. And the Spanish-American Mexican war. What ended up happening is the Mexicans brought food on the first day of the war. You know, before we fight, you know, for it. They brought these delicious tacos and so papitas

and cochulos and crocandes and chicharrones and porcatosellos. Do you know porcatoselloses? It's like, you know, pork belly. I just said I knew what it was. You know what it is. It's porcatosellos. It's pork belly. Well, it's just like pork belly.

And then there was importanos. Importanos are like wrapped potato skin. Yeah, I know what they are. You know what a portano is. They're wrapped potatoes. Wrap potato skins. Exactly. Right. So anyway, they brought this to the war.

The Americans realized these guys are great allies. They're good with their hands. They're good building. And the Spaniards came dressed real fancy. Real fancy. They're like, we don't want to get dirt on our shirts. They didn't want to get dirt on their shirts. And the Americans immediately sided with the Mexicans.

We beat them. That's the celebration of... That's amazing. And thank you so much. And I regret asking. Yeah. I regret asking. Okay.

Also, I just remember this. In third grade. So, you know, when I lived in Minnesota. Yeah. Okay. Land of Lakes. The Land of Lakes. 10,000.

I lived in Dinah, Minnesota. And I used to have these birthday parties. Yeah. And all the white kids. I had only white kid friends. Right. And because I'm a lead. I'm a leadist.

You are. And they've always like brought me in. You still kind of only have white friends. You know, I have some... No, that's not true. That's crazy. The majority of your friends are white. Let me think.

Well, yeah. Yeah. I was thinking, yeah. Yeah. I thought of not a single black person. They're white. No. So anyway, my dad for, I think it was third grade.

Second grade or whatever. They got me a pinata. Oh. Right? Yeah. And at my birthday party. And they blindfolded us, you know. Regular kids got regular blindfolded.

I got dental floss. It's an old joke. Old joke. Yeah. So bad. No. I had the regular blindfold, right? And it took us about 45 minutes.

Yeah. To bust it open. What was inside? Nothing. They forgot to fill it. Yes. Your dad just... They don't know.

They didn't know. My parents didn't know what it was. You know what? They just thought beat it up. Yeah. That's the whole purpose of it. Yeah. It's just to beat up a donkey.

Hit the donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get... They're not wrong. It's just lame that they don't come pre-stuffed. Put stuff in there. Why do I have to put stuff in there? I bought it.

Yeah, they have to put it. Yeah. You have to put it in there. They forgot. And if you're going to put stuff in there, put money. Money. Cocaine. Cocaine.

Right? Some weed, maybe? A little weed. Imagine as a kid. Yeah. Honestly. Money, weed and cocaine. Yeah.

I would just be like, you do love me or whatever. You care. Yeah. Have you ever hit a pinata, Root? Yeah. But in the Philippines, we use a pot. Oh, my God. That's so funny.

Let's go. Oh, it's so sad. Wait. You use a pot from your kitchen? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. So you... Let me see that.

So you take... You dangle a pot, right? No, no. They have a pinata, but they hit it with a pot. No. No. We use a pot. The pinata is the pot.

It's a pot. Right. So you're... Oh, my God. They're dangling a pot. So it's like a big pot filled with what? Coins and chocolate. And they hang it from a tree.

Yeah, yeah. And what do you hit it with? Just a stick? A stick. Yeah, yeah. That is so good. A pot from your... Can you do it again?

That's so good. Filipino pinata? Man, I like you guys. I really do. That's so funny. Here I'm thinking they hit it with a pot. No. That's funny to me.

That's what... No, no. The actual pot is the donkey. The actual pot is the donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes sense though, because you can fill the pot, obviously, with either water... Right.

Or candy. Right. And there it is. There it is. Yeah. It's so fucking funny. It says... Oh, it's a ceramic pot.

So it's not metal. It's ceramic. So you can break it. Shards of it smack you in the face? Yeah. It's like an IED when you hit it. Yeah. So that's you.

There you are in the background, right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hell, there. So you hit the ceramic pot, it shatters, and everything comes out. But doesn't that stuff either shatter and hit kids? Because ceramic is sharp when it breaks. Yeah, but I've never seen it before. You have the eye...

That's why they put it on the eyes. So they don't... They're blindfolded. That's actually smart. Are they all wearing shoes? I don't think so. Oh, my God. Shards of ceramic just on the floor.

That's what I love, the recklessness of other countries. They don't care. There it is again. Bro, I'm telling you right now, Andrew. Wow. Did I ever tell you about our talent show? No. What talent show?

All right. So, Kalilah, the last time we were in the Philippines, we were in Cebu, right? Yeah. And Kalilah just goes one day, she goes, let's do a talent show. Yeah. I go, like, amongst ourselves? No, that's the island. The whole island?

Yeah. Okay. So I go, well, how does that work? I mean, we had nothing. We were leaving. We were going to another island three days. I mean, we had plans. Right.

Oh, no, no, no. Let's call a friend up. Right? Okay. So I go, and I go, well, where are we going to do it? We are at, what, at some gymnasium? Yeah. At some outdoor gymnasium, right?

And I go, who's hosting it? I know this gay guy that, you know what I mean? Whatever, right? So the whole family go out there. Right. It, it literally was like American Idol. It was huge. Like a big deal.

The whole town came. Oh, wow. All right. You were there. Yeah. Yeah. The whole town came, right? And I was like stressing out now.

Yeah. Like I'm judging it, right? Oh, they want you to be a judge. It's my talent show. It's my talent show. It's my talent show. I thought it was something that's taking place. No, no, I'm doing it.

Bobby Lee presents. I'm producing it. This is Bobby Lee presents. Okay. Talent show. Okay. And I'm like, oh, we need categories, right? So we had dance category.

Oh, right. Any good dancers? Oh my God. I mean, it was like American Idol level. Like legit. They, they were like, it was like they're wearing costumes, wearing costumes, flip, fire, pyro, pyrotechnic. How does this happen?

How did you go? See, look at, look. So that's, this is it. Oh my God. So this is, how did you set this up, Bobby? I don't know. It was one of those things where you kind of wished it. And it happened.

And it happened. So wait, can you blow that up that? So this was the. Yeah. Pinch and pull. And let's see this video. So this is, okay. We can't hear it.

Yeah. Also, by the way. But look, just watch. Yeah. So basically this, they're not even competing. This is just us introducing the people. And that guy on the left. What?

Now this guy's. Okay. Yeah. Right. They're trying to up, up each other. Right. Right. Wow.

Yeah. That's dope. I, we had one guy. What was the winner? Who won? I don't remember, but we had this one guy come out with a bucket of gasoline. Like someone on fire. I'm not kidding.

Right. He drank it. Yeah. He drank this gasoline. What do you mean? And swallowed it? Yeah. But then did that.

Right. His whole head. Yeah. Right. And we were screaming, right? And then his buddy, right? Tries to up him. Right.

He's using fire. Right. So he goes, I'm just going to run like Spider-Man on the side of the wall. Like run up the wall. Bro. This guy just starts booking it. Right. Booking it.

Search climbing. Well, there's no fucking, you know what I mean? Nothing to hold on to. Yeah. It's like free solo, but like speed version. Right. Right. He's finding the cracks.

He's up there. He's fucking 300 feet up there. Climbing the wall. Yeah. He's on top of the wall. This gigantic school wall. And he comes up to that. He goes, did I win?

And I go, I don't know if that's it. Yeah. But it was like. How much money did they win? I don't know. Like a hundred. A hundred. So I don't know.

I don't know. Nothing. But. You guys just got a free talent show and these people worked super hard for it. You don't understand. It was, it was a joy sold out, right? It was people, everyone in the town. Yeah.

And so afterwards I'm like, are you a celebrity now at this? But do they know you? They, I don't know. I don't know if they know who I am. Are people, were people kind of like knowing who he was? No. Nobody knows me there. Yeah.

Which is awesome. That's awesome. And then I go afterwards I was like, and also I, there were times where I thought you'd have to call 911 because I was laughing so hard. I was on the floor holding my sides, tears, right? Just, you know what I mean? I couldn't. I breathed.

Yeah. I was laughing so hard. So I thought, oh, let's make this a show. That should be a show. Bobby Lee presents the Philippines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

On an island. So I was going to play out you. Oh my God. Maybe Annie Letterman, me, we judge. So fun. Yeah. We host it. Of course.

Right. And it would be a competition. Honestly, this is such a good idea. I would love to see this. Americans judging. I already pitched it to AG. They want to do it. It's so funny.

So funny. Yeah, we should do that. Yeah, I want to do it. But then the pandemic hit. I know. You know what I mean? Our dreams were crushed. But.

You, you have to be a judge. No. Yes. Or you have to host it. Maybe you will. Oh my God. She hosts. Yeah, you host it.

That was a very good idea. All right. We do have a couple of questions now. What do you mean? It's a magic problem. So what's your opposite? Number two. Maybe you have dinners or what?

Anthony Letterman. Uh, 혀 looking. Close your eyes, ready? Yeah. Visualize. 5,000 screaming people in Cebu. Screaming at the top of their lungs. What do they scream? What's a word? What's uh, okay? So

Maybe there's a an announcer yeah backstage Uh-huh, you do it. That is an gentleman. I present to you, Rudy, but you zip Hello everyone, I'm Rudy Jules and welcome to Bobby Lee's Got Talent show. Yes. Yes, great. Perfect. Go ahead keep going Who are some of the contestants today? Or the categories the categories categories for today are dancing singing and eating You're hired you're hired a hundred percent. I'm doing it. You want to do it. No, why I'll tell you why it'll freak her out Why I think it'd be easier here than there. Well because it's on she's from there. Oh

Yeah, I mean her family is gonna be there and her friends are gonna be there and there's a lot of pressure See it look at her. She's already having a pan. I mean you go to America You become a star and you go back think of how popular you'll be in Cebu. Nobody watches. Listen, bro Hey, nobody listens to bad friends there. We have Cebu fans to three maybe but fine Well three is enough and they spread the word like wildfire. Yeah, you're a big dog in Cebu, man Honestly, I would love if I wish there was someone listening that could vow to there are people in Cebu That listen, I guarantee you there are what about like expats and stuff like that 20. I'll be real Okay, a hundred even is enough to spread it around. Yeah, I bet you she's acquired some fans in Cebu

Somebody's got to know you but you know what's great though in college. I think when you go to college in America I think I think a guy will be like, you know an AP you know bio or whatever and go Don't you think don't you think you think yeah, someone's gonna go someone's gonna go and they're gonna be like nerds gonna walk up with books And go, excuse me. Are you Are you Rudy Jules? What are you gonna say what he says, what are you gonna say? Hi, are you Rudy Jules? I'm his buddy, too. That's my buddy. Oh my god. I think that's Rudy Jules. Yeah. Are you Rudy Jules? Yes, oh my god

We're in the same class together Nice What's Andrew and Bobby like? Yeah, what do they like? They're both really weird. Oh So tell me are you are are you gonna keep doing the show when you go to college because you're here in college with us? Yeah, I think so. Oh wow. Is it cool being a celebrity? I'm not a celebrity. Oh We're nervous, right? Will you we're usually confident like when we're not around people like you but right now We don't even ever even we talk like this normally, but we're right now. We're talking like this because we're so nervous right now

Yeah, do you want to come party with us tonight? Yeah? No, thank you. What what what? Why not? It's Friday. I'm really sleepy. Oh, yeah, that's what she does on the show It's just leave me on the show. That's cool. That's crazy. All right. Maybe we'll see you around. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Bye That's why yeah, wow, you know how to handle it. No, no, that's being rude No, no, no, she doesn't know that's being rude That's being fucking that's how she would handle it. No, you have to do this. Okay, dude. You have to be like, dude I was just okay. I want to tell you something. Okay. I was just in Oklahoma. I was just I yeah, I forgot you were in Oklahoma Where the wind was sweeping down the plane?

I have to say something about right like I whenever I fly to a place like Oklahoma or Tulsa or whatever same place. Yeah, I I get nervous because I think because I don't really do gigs there ever. I've never done a gig there Yeah, yeah, so it's like I don't know much about it. Right. So to me, it's like unabomber. Yeah, that too Yeah, I get nervous because I think um, maybe those because I know so it's a big Trumpy Place, I think. Uh-huh. So I get I feel like there's you feel like you're gonna. I'm gonna feel I'm not a part of or feel, you know Scared whatever but I had the best time of my life. It was awesome. Oh my god It was amazing. Well shooting was great, but like that then hanging out hanging out was great because I would I would take those scooters

I was in downtown Tulsa sure and I'd go to restaurants, right and I went to this one. We're called on Bull in the alley. I like I like the name really good food steaks and stuff like that. Oh my god, amazing It was amazing. So I sat there in Bull in the alley and I'm just sitting there waiting for my food and I see This 50 60-year-old lady Uh-huh masked. All right, and she's I'm sitting here eating like this and she's right here and she's doing this Just standing next to you Staring at staring me. What she's like literally right here. Yeah a shield, but she's yeah

Right, and I'm like I have my bacon appetizer some salad. I keep looking over and she's right So hi I hear I hear Bobby Lee. Yeah, she goes Magnum PI whatever yes, which is a weird. No, that's awesome. Okay, so go great. You watch so yeah, I think they just got picked up from those She says she good. That's great. That's great And she just stood there For 12 minutes. I like this one. Yeah, she's cool. And I and now that oh, so what do you do? I don't love you. I don't live here. Oh, we're just visiting here. Me. I don't me. I'm gonna get my daughter. Oh, boy

Yeah, get your daughter goes right. Yeah She comes back with now there's two And it's just like I'm just you know when you're in a situation like that also It's like because of the pandemic and because I haven't been you know I haven't been to a restaurant. I haven't been out with anybody right that you're like trying to Yeah, you know trying to engage and not be a dick But it's hard because you're it's also weird in the masks and the separation right so what I what I figured out to do is like just kind of like

Get get to have a nice day as quickly as you can. Yeah, right? So it's basically like yeah, so I'm shooting the show right here. It's not out yet And you know, I really like to so anyway have a nice day. Have a good meal. That's that well That's a polite way to do it. It's just they stay state. They didn't least They just watched you eat. They didn't leave. They're like no, no, no. We're just gonna hang and then in back of me and I heard there was another couple an old couple probably six years old and this man was like He got laughing like that That's right around I go, what's up? You guys I love you on podcast man

Ha ha ha right and I go, oh cool. And she it's not it's I think either Tiger Belly or bad friends. Sure. No civil it was a What's that what sibling rivalry? I don't even know what that is. It's Oliver Hudson's in Kate. Oh Kate Hudson show Yeah, and I go oh, yeah, and I thought you know me it'd be a bad friend's thing Did he look like a he sounds like a bad friend's fan? He doesn't sound like a Kate Hudson, but yeah, but you have to be the jewels What I'm saying is is that in if when you're in college you got to be a sweetie and people recognize? No, you know that was not so nice try it again because it's both of you

All right Well then try to give it just Bobby Bobby is the nerd and let's hear how you handle this It may be we're playing it. You know what we were playing it kind of unrealistic and I play it too over play real. It's all play real Excuse me. Yeah Hi My name is Frank and I'm I live I Live I don't live here. No, I'm sitting three rows back and back of you in class. Yeah, anyway But I know who you are

Your are you jewels your jewels from or they call you Rudy on bad friends, right? Yeah, yeah It's just I just want to let you know that I'm like one of the probably their biggest fan You guys is biggest fan. I mean, I just I when I saw you in class I like called like all my homies from back home And I said you can't fucking believe who's in my class and I just want to let you know that like I'm not being creepy or a weirdo I just want to know I Just what ah, it's hard for me to see I do I want I want to see Really nice. You can call me jewels now Rudy and yeah, maybe we can

Talk some other time, but I have to go. Well, the class hasn't started yet and the professor is not in yet I need to pull. Oh You need a poo. Yeah, I'll just I'll be here when you get back. Okay, I Have to poo at home To walk because I don't have a car Before you go though, can I just say can we ever hang out you think? Yeah Can I give you a realistic version like that ready I'll give you a real one

Okay What what are you doing wait stop stop stop cut what cut wait, I'm prepping That's how I prep cut for a second. Okay, cut for a second. That's how I prep bro. Yeah, too much really. Yeah Too much. I just feel like I am bad friends. But nobody right nobody Wait, wait, that's how I settle in. No, this is what you're doing. Yeah, that's how I settle in As soon as that happens Jules if you ever see anyone do that get the fuck out. No, okay? All right, so action. Hold on. Let me settle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah No, no, all right keep going

Hey, are you Rudy Jules? Yeah, yeah, man. I love that bad friends. Are you in the movie there will be blood? I mean, I just moved here from Kentucky You might think I look weird because I was in a severe car accident. How old are you 36? Yeah, yeah, there we go Anyway, I'm big fan of this is my first time in college because when I was 17 I got into a bad car accident and I lost both of my parents and my brother my baby sister So I live alone and they left me six point eight million dollars

I have nothing to do and no one to spend away I'm a really nice person just people don't want to hang with me and I figured maybe you and I could go out to eat some Food maybe later. I already have a boyfriend. Oh, I don't want to be a boyfriend. I just want a friend I already have a lot of friends. Wow Wow But I could be I could be another look I'll just pay for everything for you guys and I'll just sit in the background. You won't even see me. Is that okay? Okay, that's so fucked up. That's so fucked up that you said okay to that Rudy. That's what it was

Okay, she'll let yeah, you pay for everything and sit in the background Let me be Alright as an outside observer, right? You're on the wrong. I'll tell you why you're gonna let this guy pay for everything Because you're saying that she's there with her friends. Yeah, no, she was alone. No, no, I see you're alone No, no, no, that was it. I pay for you and your friends When they go out and I will be so I imagine Right, you're at let's say all of garden watching right? There's a main long table with her and all her friends. Yeah, and there's a two-top with me with you there

Well, yeah, that's an I think that's cool. Okay. Well, I guess I guess that's the best deal that I could get Maybe I have to go. Well, can I have your phone number real fast that we trade swap numbers? Is that the way I'll know where we're gonna meet? I don't have my phone right now. Oh, man Do you have to leave right now? Yeah, you can just DM me on Instagram. Oh totally. I will where you had it to now somewhere You look like you have to go. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye as you walk away He's following you That character dude, so yeah, it's so good or just a jittery man

Honestly, any kind of weird character voice that I take nowadays as I've heard from South Park over the years They have the funniest fucking characters that they put on that show and the voices are just those two guys fucking around Yeah, I'm so jealous of what they get to do. Yeah, I mean we kind of get to do that on this fucking show It's like don't ever say that. I love that show I think South Park is one of the greatest shows of all time. We're doing our our bit our bit and we're doing our best You know what? I'm really out of it right now because of the COVID. Oh my god. It's killing me You announce everybody that you had that I got the vaccination shot. I'm so loopy today. Yeah, you feel weird I just I'm so I'm sweaty. I'm hot. I can't really think straight. Yeah

Well, this wraps up the episode for today Let me know if you enjoyed it because if you did I might have a couple little extra things in the vault that I could put there for you Anyway, I hope you guys join us for this 2022 that it starts now and that I think is gonna be amazing We're gonna try to make the show even bigger and better if it's possible. We're moving out to a new studio starting next month so hopefully You guys will be there for us Go to by French merch.com for that new merch that we put out. Please subscribe

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It comes out every Monday. Please link on the scratcher compare. Hello Hey tiger belly fans, that was my redheaded freak friend Andrew Santino if you love tiger belly You're gonna love my new podcast with Andrew Santino. It's called bad friends and It comes out every Monday. Please Link on the description below click it. Hi tiger belly fans. That was my very good friend the redheaded king Andrew Santino. Hey tiger belly friends. I love you so much and if you love tiger belly You're gonna love my new podcast with Andy and it's called It's called bad friends. It comes out every Monday. Please click on the link on the description below

That's great.