Bad Friends - Unpicked Boogers From The Vault 2022

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

*LAST WEEK FOR OUR CHRISTMAS MERCH* Go to https://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://hellofresh.com/badfriends21 code: BADFRIENDS21 & https://rocketmoney.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Fancy & Carlos Give 2023 Updates 5:33 Korean Acting School 8:53 Bobby on the Set of Esther's Movie 23:20 Bobby's Angry Call to Fancy 32:46 What Andrew and Bobby Smell Like 39:00 Baked Beans for Breakfast & Heinz's Surprise 46:16 Bobby's Last Walk and the 7,000 Steps More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Fancy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year! Hey guys! Hi Carlos! Hi, Happy New Year, is fancy? Happy New Year! Yeah, what a great 2022! Insane! Yeah, just... oh, I'm exhausted.

What was your favorite episode this season? Um, I liked Halloween a lot. I liked Dahmer, Andrew, and Korean Elvis. Well, I think everybody knows what my favorite episode was, but why don't you guys tell us what your favorite episode was of the season? Because we're 2023. Today is a special day. As you guys know, we took a little bit of a break,

but I have rescued from the vault an episode that was discarded early this year. I had to do a little surgery on it, but you guys will let me know if you find it funny. Andrew and Bobby don't know that this is gonna be out, so hopefully we don't lose our jobs after this. Yeah, this was one that I think was said not to be released. Exactly. But we needed an episode and we didn't want to have to record on real fast with the guys,

so getting mad that we messed up, so... Right. We're just gonna put this one out for y'all. So hopefully, well, you guys let us know what you think at the end of the episode. What else is happening? 2023 is here, big, big announcements. Next week we have one of our funniest episodes in a long time. Special guest, check it out on the 9th.

And then on the 10th, Andrew's special is dropping. Cheeseburger. It's really, really funny. We're really excited for him. Check it out on Netflix. It's gonna be awesome. And then, February, we start our pre... Pre-tour.

Pre-tour date. So we're gonna be in Vancouver on February 16th at 8 p.m. And then we're going to Washington. So we're gonna be in Spokane and Seattle on February 17th and 18th, also at 8 p.m. This is gonna be exciting, first time on the road of 2023. And then what else is going on, Carlos? When are we officially kicking off the tour? March 2nd.

Right. March 2nd, we're going on the road for a long time on a bus. Bobby, last night, asked me if we're gonna fight the whole time. He keeps bringing that up. I think he wants to fight the whole time. Of course. That's what he does. Exactly.

So we're gonna start in California on March 2nd. Then we're going to Arizona. Then we're making the big leap, well, first New Mexico. Then Indianapolis, Missouri, Oklahoma City, maybe. Texas, three cities there. I'll let you guess which ones, not Austin. New Orleans, Alabama, weirdly enough. North Carolina, Virginia, New Jersey, Baltimore, Michigan,

Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, a bunch of cities in Florida. And then we're ending it in April in San Diego, California, where Bobby is from. Woo-hoo. So as the dates get 100% confirmed, you guys can go to where? BadFriendsPod.com. Exactly. You can buy tickets now there for Vancouver and Seattle and Spokane. Early, I would say in a couple of weeks, we'll have the dates there for everything else.

Also, this week is the last week for this amazing Christmas merch. If you guys missed it, go to BadFriendsMerch.com. Yeah. You guys like the pictures we put on Instagram. Right. Yeah. We had a beautiful model come and do that for us. Yeah.

If you want to be like Bradley, go to BadFriendsMerch.com. Right. So this is the last week for that merch. Then it's going to be gone. We're going to have a special merch for the tour, too. I'm excited to present it soon. Cool. What else?

Also, Seven Acces. We're doing a lot of awesome things on Seven Acces this year. We're going to start the year launching a new show. So stay tuned. Hopefully soon. Yeah. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun.

Our super successful educational course was sold out in 10 minutes. So we're opening five more slots for this January. So in two weeks, January 16, we start. So hurry up if you want to be a part of that. We're opening just five slots and they'll be gone soon. And then we're going to do more and bigger things with that because we get an overwhelming amount of emails and text messages and DMs every day about this stuff. So we're planning big, big, big things.

So anyway, keep tuned. Yeah. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. Yeah. Keep tuned and stay tuned. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you so much for this amazing journey. It's been almost three years of bad friends. We could not be more excited to be a part of such a good show. You guys are the best possible fans. Thank you for supporting us. And yeah, happy new year. Hopefully your New Year resolutions start today. Yeah.

Happy New Year. You two are bad friends. Yeah. Oh. Oh. You're bad friends. Happy new year. Oh.

Happy new year. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Happy new year.

Happy new year. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Happy new year. Every movie

These are just you get the on the teacher you have to repeat after me. Okay. Yeah No, no, that's not it. Oh, oh, very good. Good. Oh, gee gee. Gee. No, no Yeah, it's more like a chip chip. Very good. Just follow chink Oh It is Okay, clink clink clink clink. Yeah If you wanted to do it you had to confuse her you would have had to been like what chop to cock me chick You just have to throw it all right, right? If you threw it in she wouldn't have known or let's try it again

Why don't we talk about you having the worst night of your life last night? What happened? I got out of a restaurant. What restaurant? I went to village idiot beautiful restaurant You don't know It's a bar on Melrose, but other idiots are yeah, I was there My rose I've heard of it. Yeah, it's nice But I went there to go get to go get something to eat where you're with I need the details solo solo was by myself You eat by yourself. I went to do a spot at the well we can get into all these I went to do a spot at the comedy store at 840. You were supposed to be right after me or read before me

You didn't show up. I couldn't they were scrambled eggs They were trying to figure out because you were to two people canceled people were Matt you and somebody I don't know I wasn't paying attention But Emily told me they were scrambled and because you guys canceled and people were mad juicy Yeah, take it away people kept coming. I was working a lot all night like oh, I can't wait to see Bobby I wonder when he's pulling in for real and then you know Oh Bobby canceled and then someone in from the main room goes man a lot of people coming in were like I can't wait to see Bobby. I'm in from Australia. I can't wait to see Bobby

You want to you want to apologize to the people that flew I apologize only from the people from Australia. Okay, what about the guy that flew in from Florida? No, no, no What about the new the New York guy? He flew from New York. No Really, Mexico? Yes, Canada. Yes, North Mexico or South Mexico? Cuz I like but you know what it was already Like where we were. Yeah, those ones. I'll apologize Cancun can come cuz that's way on the tip. Yeah, and to loom the loom Cancun can loom. I love all those ones. Well, so you honor no fucking way. No way TJ

What happened? You keep changing the subject. I'll lead him into it. He called me. I was getting in my car I was actually walking to my car and he called or he was I call me and then he was like Okay, I can't I Can act I I'm the worst actor. That's ever live. I can't act. That's what you said. Isn't that and you go? I don't know what to do and he does his body when Bobby stutters. It's cuz he's having a panic attack I don't want to what I want to do and you got nervous and he said that I couldn't read the lines

I couldn't read any of the lines Okay, let's let's show the clip. Let's see what it looks like. This is a clip from this is Esther's movie. No, no, you can't show Oh, when I'm fucking up. Yeah, we can How's Bobby been a little grumpy, who's that girl that called you a little grumpy? She's a She works on the movie doesn't know the job titles of anyone. It's Bobby Lee So, um, is she an AD? Yeah, you don't know she's props Wardrobe Wardrobe so unique director Bobby's doing Esther's movie which I couldn't be a part of because I'm filming the third season of Davey

But Bobby well, they since you brought that up. They did offer you a part and that's just move on You don't know you don't remember anything from my phone call Name the first thing that we talked about when we got on the phone. You said hello. You got me I You said hello, you're good. Yeah, and that's how you open hands up. I'm anyway any who do I look more loose by the way I got a massage an hour ago. No, and can I tell you how bad it was so bad? It was so bad. You seem stiff. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't mean to go too hard there. I was like I was like loosen up just a little bit Yeah, she was digging her fucking she must have had Schwarzenegger forearms digging into my fucking neckline

That when I lifted my head up from the oval pillow. I literally heard yeah, she pushed so hard I'm worse off now in Tokyo. I had a lady walked on my back See, I know but then I had to be like a balance beat like I had to do a balancing thing. Oh your body yourself Yes, I'm like, oh, it was it was like American Ninja that the competition core workout Anyway, have you ever had a little Japanese girl walk on your back not walk, but I had this time massage where She was like punchy me and it and she like she pulled me up. That was jiu-jitsu class That wasn't a massage Table and she did she just like slap like punched my back and then she goes you're done

And then I was like what the fuck just happened. She thought it was mortal combat finish her you're done All right, so can I just go back to this? Yeah, let's go back. I'm gonna tell you what happened. Hmm. First of all, you're right Number one when I'm in a that state of mind. I don't know who else to call Right, and you're one of the first guys I called and not knowing that you were gonna expose me on this show Yeah, you did no, I didn't Okay, it was a personal call what I exposed you if it was something serious That was serious last night. No, it wasn't Bob. We were we were laughing who the person that tape We were laughing our Carlos you and I were laughing on the phone. Hey, were we not? When we were laughing on the phone

No, we weren't when you're re-reading hello. Yeah We remember now when we were re-reading lines and we were laughing because it was funny. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened Yeah, okay so They so I'm a pharmacist in this movie. Okay, and you know in my mind I'm like the first three pages of the script is me and Esther's character talking, right, right? So I just go oh Friday is my first pharmacist day Obviously, they're shooting

That scene Right, I mean you in my mind. I mean if it's the first scene in the movie Right, you think everything first location. It's just in my mind. I just made the assumption You did you read the day out of days. Do you know what a day out of days? Yeah, I know what a day of the day of the day of the day of the day days. What is it? What did you not read the day out of days? They did a day day day. He doesn't know what it is I don't know what it was a day of the day day. There's a sheet called day out of days D. O. O. D a dude sheet You have a dude. Okay, and a D will send you a dude sheet

I didn't look down what you're shooting that day because I have a different system. I Don't let me let me guess what don't read the script Don't know don't know anything about what's going on that day show up a little bit late from when they told you to get there Really, and then and then you're poking the line and then and then yeah call Santino when you freak out because everything Didn't go the way that you thought do you want me to continue or no did that happen or not? No, okay? Go on because you don't know my system Listen to the system and then fucking make a judge. Can't wait to hear it. Oh, you're so fucking. Oh Fuck you

So the system is this yeah when I do any project. I go just send me all of it Not the script Not the script. No, send me the props. No Send me all the lines All my sides all the lines are is the script that is the only mind he's lying Yeah, okay, so rewrote it only my send me only my scenes. That's send me my scenes on Fucking email got it. So no, you don't want to know what the story is you just want to know what you say in the story I can't even if I read it. I don't understand. I got it. I pull and I'm okay with that. That's fine. So anyway, I'll read yours

Yeah Yeah, he's emailing me. It's fucking short every fucking day. Could you just extract his parts from your shit my lines anyway? So I I got all the signs which I think is a mistake and I make the assumption that there's obviously we're doing this for a scene Yeah, so Thursday night. I worked the first three pages. It's just dialogue between me and Esther's character, right, right? And around two in the morning. I don't know what is I got another email I saw another email and I just poked on it and once I poked on it. There was another scene I have three pages of dialogue and that was the scene. I was doing the next Friday. Yuck, right? The second thing that happened was I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm on medication get out of town

Yeah, I'm on medication and all there's a country Depletion of that so that you can't there's a shortage of Adderall no, it's not Adderall riddling all right, so I haven't been on for three days I haven't been on my any medication. Thanks a lot China once again fucking the fucking China, dude Yeah, first of all the chips in the cars now Ritalin. What's next China? Oh god damn food clothes Don't ever get a massage before a fucking podcast It's crazy and you know who massage me who a Chinese lady. All right Anyway, so so two in the morning. I read it right and I'm at somebody's house

Oh, you're not at the pharmacy. No Thursday night when I read the thing. I'm pretty much at somebody's house. I'll say house Got it Okay, and so I'm reading it. I'm like and I start I go I gotta get out of here I got to get out of here. We just breeze right over Whose house whose house what your voice gets so high whose house So anyway, I read it. I got what the fuck what did the house look like? It's an apartment. I know yeah We just move on how many rooms One how many bathrooms one the animals none

What's the bedroom look like? It's it's like a Ikea showroom. Hmm. I love that. I love that love. I love it Spotless in the bathroom the shower Curt spotless Curt Curtin the owner is around 25 You say when you say owner The renter the owner is in 65 year old Jewish guy. Can we move on? Okay. What was in this person's fridge? Oh? Um, I know you look outputting Oat over night oats type is that what you mean? No, they're like these, you know, they look like baby food

And it's like this out. She offered it to me. I ate one It's one of those things it does look like a baby thing Well, it's like a plastic thing and it goes down. There's like a little nozzle and you guys role-playing Was baby rope playing? Thanks, mommy for the fucking baby. That's what I did. Thank you My little baby watch him output. Yeah. Does he want it on his little pee pee? Yeah Just mommy need to clean the opening off your little pee pee Okay, and then thing. Oh, no, I have

Redo my why my script right so I rush home, right and my call times at like seven in the morning Bib still on seven in the morning. What bibs still on? I got to get home Okay, okay, okay So anyway Seven more I show up and I I'm like frantically reading these three. It's like every other line and their chunky line It's you know, can you do any of them right now? No? Damn, that stinks. It sucks. I show up and I go think I thank God the first scene wasn't that scene, right? It was with the guy that sees dead people. He was in it

Haley Joel Osborne. Yes played golf against him. Good. Nice guy. Really nice nice guy. Super sweet. We talked for a long time It was cool and Britney furlong was there. I love her. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and love both of them and then the scene happened and I Show up and I just something happened. I was just there and I just go I thought to myself. I You don't remember any of the lines like I just couldn't because I didn't sleep that well I'm not on my medication. I barely know the fucking script and then all of a sudden like this is your first time

First day on a movie. Yeah, and you're like You know first impressions and I'm just like you know everybody Yeah, I know I Think which makes it worse. I think well, you know 50th impressions. They mean something Your friends are on the movie. How many people your friends went so and as soon as I opened my mouth I was like, oh, this is gonna be a nightmare. Well, so you spiraled yourself. That was the problem I started spinning. Yeah, I mean Bob and then I had to go to the director and go Because another actor that I know that's like pretty big. I don't name his name. He told me this happened to him once

It's a little trick Hmm. So it's basically like just on your close-up Right. Yeah, just feed me every line I've seen people do that. Yeah, where they just never I had never done that before they line by line it Yeah, and they just say that a lot, you know, I mean and and even then It was just so embarrassed like I was so embarrassed and full of shame Yeah, you know, I mean and it's like like I I've worked so much and this never happens And so it was just got this new panic and this new thing and it's like and after all it was like it took forever like eight

Or nine hours of sheer Panic so on your side they lined by lined it on the other person's side. You just read off the script to them Yeah, yeah, I've seen that after the movie. I literally after because I also have eight more days on it Yeah, that's a long time and then Monday. I have to do that first thing that I worked on Hmm, it's terrible. So the movie's not terrible. You I was terrible. No, no, not you it was what was happening was bad Never happened before and I walked and this is what an Esther was so laughing. So I went to every single person The grip, you know, I mean People that didn't work there. You know, I mean like the security guy named some other positions

Craft service. There you go. Yeah Gaffer gaffers. Yeah, um sound guy best boy best boy I literally walked up to me. I locked him out ago. This will never happen again. I'm so sorry the apology tour I did the shame tour. That's so sad. Also, everyone started going to chew because of the shame shame train Everyone's going Bobby's doing the shame train to chew and I just kept going I go around it was like the sound of the engine is you crying just It was like and it's so hard to admit that no, it's not it's okay because it happens to fucking everybody You know, I've seen it happen, but it's just like it's still when you're going through it. It's weird. It's like

It's sort of like a panic attack mixed in with like this Fear it's really weird. I look people don't understand what that's like. It's it's It's so hard. It stinks. It's out and it's like and it's like small It's like, you know privileged people problems, but it's like oh big deal But it also is it's like it's hard on your mind I guess what's weird is people that do labor-intensive jobs like there was a guy that was putting in fucking rain gutters at my house That's so fucking he's in the sun and you know, like he's drilling these things. He's got a clean other thing It's labor-intensive

But that he's exhausted physically from at the end of the day when you do 15 hours on a set your brain hurts You if you're mentally the drain it takes it's hard to explain people go big deal You're like it does fuck with your head because you're up at 4 a.m. And you wrap at 9 p.m. Yeah, and your brain feels like five days went by It's fucked. It's super hard. There's also this like it depends on what you're doing But like even like last couple weeks ago I did sex in the city and even if I don't have a lot to say There's also this weird like because you're in Manhattan and because it's elevated almost it feels elevated

There's this Pressure that happened totally and you're walking like you walking like it's time Right, and you go, okay, and you start walking and there's this weird Pressure. Yeah, that happens and you don't feel that podcasting. You don't feel it doing stand-up It's for me. It only happens in that thing. That's why I do it I think well because it's like the only thing that really scares me or you know, I mean it Challenges me totally. Yeah, but it's it's hard man. How's your poop schedule? I Have well because of Dave King, you know Dave King love. Yeah Dave King was like, you know, he made a joke

Months ago. He goes I Take Emodium AD before every meal so he just doesn't get diarrhea Wait, seriously. Yeah, he has that bad of a stomach. No, but it was a joke and I in yesterday I'm thinking it's real. Yeah, but I started doing it It's real. It's real to you. Yeah, I'm like, oh, that's a good idea. Yeah I've been taking a modium AD before and I haven't I didn't put for like a week What is that? It stops diarrhea, but when you don't have a diarrhea, you don't poop you get constipated

But it's like a pill or something. It's a pill. It's made for diarrhea geriatric people I mean they handed out an old folks home like candy. Yeah, so I stopped taking I've been pooing a lot good Okay, good. Yeah, whenever I work on a show. I can't what's that? I poop one every five days. I think this is what I got after you Because this is in the middle of the nightmare that I was going through. Yeah, so I called, you know, this is a break. Go ahead That's just piece of shit doesn't fucking pick up. I swear to fucking god. I'm gonna snap This piece of shit doesn't fucking he's fired If you pick someone be very nice

Okay He always runs to answer Santino's calls. He doesn't do mine. I always go to fucking voicemail. Are you serious? Yeah He's always on his phone, too Hey, why don't you say hey, I'm not in of all I'm not I'm not here Please leave a message. I have to do the fucking number thing and it's like also suddenly if Andrew Santino called You fucking pick up right of way and also thirdly Sunday. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing no bad friend Sunday You know what I mean? I gotta get rest. I'm shooting a real Movie thing. All right, so fuck you

I like I'm just I like how by the way I like how you broke down what what you were shooting you started in your mind I'm shooting a real well, it's I'm shooting It's okay. I'm doing a thing and I just can't I watch you collapse from a real big movie to almost nothing Okay, this is a lot of respect shown. I guess the same. Shame train is still going. Let's do it Going chogo chogo chogo chogo chogo to go to Spain that the train's going into Spain. There it is Barcelona Welcome to Barcelona. I make the stop. Excuse me, sir. I I apologize. It's a good. No, that was let me say something though

Just a little bit. Yeah, you responded to me at two in the morning. So what that was probably around six So it that's how long it takes to get a response. I didn't realize you have called me. You usually don't call me He's a fucking beautiful wife. He has a life. I get the guy's got a life I get it. I love it. He's not at a fucking studio apartment with some 26-year-old getting scripts in the middle of the night He's got a beautiful life and a beautiful wife. He's a busy man Apologize, okay That's it. Yeah, yeah, are you married in this movie bill your name's bill in the movie? Yeah, I'm married in it Yeah, and you marry who is your wife in it? Who is she? I don't know. They don't have she's not in it

Oh, then what's the I say it in the script? Oh, you say my wife Cindy. Yeah. Oh Cindy Yeah, who would you wish it was played by if it was a real person? Um, I'm being serious. I'm being real. I Think it would be you know, you know who I would love let's say at the same time on the count of three one two three Oh, I Said Ali Wong. Yeah aquafina came to the store a couple nights ago. Were you there that night? No? I would have loved to see and should we we had and um, DeSani showed up last night by the way. Do you know DeSani? Gosh, all these are really not landing today. Is it the same water company? DeSani is another water but water bottle company That's really fun. Fiji came to the store. I really like Fiji was in the main room. That was really good

I didn't want to be racist. That's so good. Thanks, man. You know, you know what you're doing right now, dude We're doing Largo material. I'm just working. The type of right a room whatever an echo park or whatever Yeah, that's what you're you're not doing club humor. Yeah, you're doing evolved. All right. You want me to do club stuff? So do it again. So aquafina came. Oh that fucking Yeah I love hello fresh with hello fresh you get farm fresh Pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep Skip trips to the grocery store and count on hello fresh to make home cooking easy fun and affordable

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Money on stuff. I don't use anymore You can cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expense is the easy way going to rocket money.com slash bad friends That's rocket money.com slash bad friends rocket money.com slash bad friends Do you know I know we're way past my birthday. It's so far past. You don't even know happy birthday Yeah, no, do you know you called me on my birthday when and didn't say happy birthday? Oh, no that happened in dave I watched it. I but it was your dad. Yeah That's so sad. My birthday was october 16th. You called me on my birthday I must have said after hello. I must have said no, I know for a fact

Oh, I'm gonna cry. Why are you gonna cry? It bothered me so much that you called me on my birthday to talk to me Watch this here goes the shank tree Is it I'm going to Chicago No, no, no, no, you better age it up age in it up for me. There it is That's chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga or What?

Go ahead. There it is. Yeah, chung chungk I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry Feel better I do somehow Thank you. I don't know why. All right. I apologize. What do you use to power that thing? Is it bamboo? It's not cold It's shame. Well, the pandas eat the bamboo. It's the pandas that do though. Is it panda driving? There's no fucking yeah, shame track. It's just their little feet like flimstones. Oh, that's cute. It's cute Yeah, you missed my fucking birthday. I apologize. No, you don't what kind of shoes are those?

These are called the fly ease. Yeah, they're like they're like dad shoes almost or I did get my dad a pair Because those are cool. He had a bad hip so you can like slip a little on and off Your style. Can I maybe talk about it? We may yeah, it's like from top to bottom. It's interesting I've never seen this put together in that way. Yeah, you have sort of like Sherlock home pants Yeah, right. You have dad shoes on You have like a gray turtleneck. Such high socks. Such high socks. The socks are very keratop They're all the way to your knees. Hey, yeah, it's cold. Wow Wow

Why all the way up that's so high. I just have one pair like this. Okay today. I wear you wear perfume or no Yeah, I started wearing perfume. What kind? Um Um It's it's I philosophy my mom said it to me. It's philosophy brand philosophy. I know philosophy. I don't know what it is It's like grapefruit or something. Yeah, they have I have philosophy. Um hand wash. Oh, it's nice. Yeah Yeah, it's nice. It's grapefruit was like taking the orange like blood orange kind of flavor. Yeah, I'm trying Yeah, I'm trying to take better care of my skin and What do you what do you use oak resin?

I mean, what do you smell? I you always smell like I smell good. Yeah, but not like there's no distinct like always smells, you know, it's like I don't know what it is Well, what is it? To me, it's like a foresty A natural forest smell love. Yeah, I never smelled you Andrew, but I could see I could see that You know who you smells like if you ever see the hobbit not the Lord of the Rings, but the hobbit There was that one wizard that kind of you know, it keeps getting worse. It was in the like, you know, slay Do you remember that guy, right? And then like, you know, he had a little hut. That's what you smell like

Look that guy. What's his name? Yeah. Yeah, that's who you smell like show me who I smell like I've never seen the hobbit. Yeah, it's like this guy. Yeah, I've never seen any of Bobby's wizard He has a slay. Maybe do that combination I got to see more of your people's movies. I show me the hobbit. Yeah. Um, I've seen Bobby's hold them so many times. Is that me that guy you smell like that You smell like that guy. What if that guy smells good? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What I mean, he probably doesn't smell bad, you know, I mean, he just doesn't smell human almost So what do I what does Bobby smell like one time in

In Shibuya in the Shibuya train station. I was getting I was getting a ramen bowl And and uh, they put like a black egg. You've seen black eggs. They put black hard boiled eggs on top Uh, they're like old briny vinegar black eggs And um, I flicked it off and I missed the trash can and it burst on the ground in the Shibuya train station And it was hot steamy black egg Shibuya ground egg and the moment it hit my nostrils. I thought Bobby Lee. I got it. Bobby Lee. Yeah, that's that's you. You could have just said egg or no Something about a black egg does something

A vinegar dipped egg does something to the soul. Yeah. It's stunk like That's century egg. That looks like my nuts. That's a century egg. Yeah, so that's exactly what your balls look like My balls look just like that There's yeah, not in the inside On the outside take two seconds because I have to show you that there is a guy on tiktok who who is like a food guy Like he eats he eats um, he tries different stuff that's like years old But he can't not gag every time he eats it like imagine a food critic who can't eat food

That's kind of who this guy is and this is him trying batman cereal and this Something feels so wrong about this and I'm so sorry for everybody watching. I must robot him This is awesome. Look, he's got a little back slot for his back. They were even giving away a batman nightlight Missed out on that opportunity There's definitely cereal in here Oh, baby. Hope there's no roaches. No roaches. No roaches. No roaches, please. Oh, wow It's definitely roach-free and it looks pretty good. Actually. I'm he's gonna eat that. Yeah cereal They weren't lying about that so hey, I had this when I was a kid

Was it good library books and I'm not mad about it. It's got something in here though What is this save 35 cents on cookie crisp cereal and look it's the old cookie crisp and no, that's not due to under my nails It's from the okay, Joe. Don't forget the bed. Have another never Oh Wait, this is great juicy gotta make sure to get a nice and juicy What the well wait? What is that? This one got a little something on it. This one got a little something on it I don't know what this little dark thing on there is but But it can't be factory. All right, nine man cereal. Let's give her a go

It's actually good. I know I'm gagging it tastes weird at first, but it's sugary now You really know if I should be swallowing that so that's kind of creeping me out Oh, well, it definitely tastes sweet and it's Dude watching this guy eat old shit. Oh, that's what he does eat old He just eats random shit off the internet and talks about it But I've watched a bunch of videos. He gags every fucking time. Right, so he's like it's not bad He just can't it's so funny. That's a food food show the network should do the food network if they did a show Where a guy who just couldn't keep anything down had to go try everything. Yeah, watch the fuck out of that

I'd watch so you had the Batman cereal as a kid. I had that I remember in fact that Batman piggy bank I had I had that that's a bad that's a piggy bank with the slot in the back of the back in the day Was it a good cereal? What would it taste like? Okay, this was a part of a time period that I don't even know if they do this anymore They probably do but they'll just take a cereal that pre-exists that probably has a a miss mold that looks like something else And then just remold it and be like Batman because Batman was popular So it was made by general mills because you saw the cookie crisp sign. I guarantee you it was from the same mold as like Uh, but I don't even know it was like corn pops or one of those things

It tasted exactly like some other cereal that was already on their line So right now if you had to take two cereals dry cereals at the grocery store that you could eat for the rest of your life What are the two? I I know mine the two for the rest of my life. Yeah Oh, go yours first then if you know, I would do our golden grams. Oh love. Oh my fucking god. They're so good You like golden grams. Um, I don't think I've ever had golden grams. Oh my you are missing out on life We have to have a cereal and life cereal pretty good too. So we have to have a cereal day here cinnamon life Cinnamon life is so good. Oh, cinnamon live. Go fuck yourself. I love it. Okay. We have to have a cereal day here What about cinnamon toast crunch? Do you like that?

Love that. So good. So what's the other one? Your first one is is is uh, My first one is probably golden grams and then cinnamon life And then I like the one I forgot what it's called, but the where it's white on one side. It's a Frosted mini wheats. I love frosted mini. They're so good. They're so I couldn't I wouldn't peg you for a frosted mini wheat guy You know why I like it? Huh? It absorbs all the juices Milk all the milk all that stuff. What else is in there? Just milk usually. Well, I've been because I'm lactose I use oat milk now, but it's still delicious with that. It's still good. I like oat milk. All milk's good. Pass. Okay You what do you loaf out? I take the cow

I would if I didn't get diarrhea. I do heavy cream. I don't even need milk. No, not heavy cream Yeah, it's like hard when I eat it. It's solid as a rock. I put milk and tea. I will say that is huge That's a british. That's a cool dude. Let me say something. Please in the fucking philippines. I understood you I fucking understand you man. What do you mean? I fucking understand who you are What you're about doc. Give it to me. I'll give it to you all time every day, man. Oh, you had a lady boy and you now You know what? I will give it to you. What fucking bake beans for breakfast. What? I will give it to you dude One morning. I went to the fucking buffet and there they were no one was fucking with it

Didn't we get a box of baked beans for me? Did they come in? Yeah, wait, really? So I went to the buffet I got the eggs I got the sausage some bacon and I went to the baked bean guy. Yep, and I go. Yep dab I literally ate it Took the fucking plate back as much as you can Bobby fucking great. They're so good. Heinz sent us. I think Heinz said I can What?

Look at the size of this fucking buck. Give me the whole box Holy holy fucking art the box of beans I talked I said I talked about Heinz on the show that we don't have so Heinz baked beans are the only baked beans that they have in Britain that's like the one that you use Heinz. You got to use Heinz. They sent us um Oh my god, a little chip clip set. What's a chip? Oh chip clip to go on potato chips. Oh What do we got here Heinz dip crunched a secret sauce and potato crunchies how british Secret sauce and potato crunchies. Look at this. It's a ketchup. Oh, wow, and here it is the fucking motherload Heinz beans

You can have you can have one home one. I need the rest. These are so fucking good. I'm doing something fun soon What are you doing? I'm going to see my grandma and mom for Thanksgiving and the next day I'm going to go to phoenix and see my two best friends who I haven't seen in forever But we've been friends for over a decade. Shout them out. What are their names? Katie Holden and Janelle Garza didn't have to do the last names. That's okay. Okay. Let me ask you about Katie Follow Janelle. It's her birthday soon. She's an amazing artist. Follow her on Instagram. Let me ask you something Janelle Garza. Are they single?

Um, well one is but it's new and fresh. So Why do you ask that? Because I'm single. Yeah, would you set me up or no? I mean I'll be honest. I love you both so much. Like I don't Why is that the first thing can you date my friend? You don't even know her yet I mean, it seems like a it seems like a logical question. He's he's freshly wounded So is she? See what she's doing

Deflecting she's barely saying. Oh, I'm not gonna set my fucking young hot friends with an old. Well, no And it's a valid stance. Yes. Is it? Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. That's a little too fast with the yes Like he was thinking about saying yes like 45 seconds before you guys will meet her when we go on the tour if we go to phoenix But but we're gonna go to talking stick casino and love the day after Thanksgiving and let's go back to the question though Can we bring up a picture of this girl? Yeah. Yeah genel garza on instagram Yeah, genel garza plug her because she's an amazing artist bring her up and let's see click on her grandma And let's see what she's got going on So this is genel garza. This is that's her that's her right there art great art. Oh, I like her art

Gotta sign in Man, this is why we need what's his name here. What's the guy's name? Is that her to the right? That's my best friend Yeah, that's that's a zoom in all the other. Yeah, let me and people message her Oh, how do you know juicy because she'll repost some of my stuff and she's like, oh, yeah, I want to date her I want to date her. Well, let's let's set him up I don't you what do you give her a call right now call her up and let's see what she would say Let's see if she did. Does she know who bobby is? Yeah, she knows She knows because I talk all the time let her call her on the show and not tell her that she's on with you

I would never do that and see if give me the number and I'll do it and let's see if she's interested So she's your style zoom out. Let's see some other photos. Why wouldn't you want to set them up? She looks cute. Bob is cute body and goofy. She's goofy. Like yeah, that's goofy a shit talk about goofy That's why I should my best friend. I don't think I've ever seen goofier than a sleeping bag She's nuts. Is she okay? She's gonna keep this blanket and go on a cliff. You're what you fucking insane. You need to be committed to a psych ward You're a goof. Yeah, all right, so she's a painter probably quit Let her let her let her date bobby, please. Yeah, it's not up to me It's up to her and bobby and but what are the negatives of you setting me up with like, um, one of your friends

I'll name one if you know, let me name one. Do you want to you name one for us and then you name one? Okay If you break up Why? Because then I'm in the middle of it. I'm never gonna put you in it. She's gonna choose my friend over you Yeah, and I and I will be in it because she's my best friend And and girls tell each other everything. You'll get all the and she'll get all the info But what if we fall in love and we have kids and live happily ever after I mean that would be incredible, right? So What why not the risk?

Because that's this at such a great cost That's true. I can't I'm on team bobby now that I think about it. No, maybe the negative About you dating her anybody And you dating anybody I think it's all positive for you There's not a negative thing For you. No, yeah, okay for the for the for the girl There's negative for the girl

No, for me, there's positives. Yeah, but what what's negative for the girl? Be honest. I don't care. Fuck it. Just say it. I can name one. Go ahead. Um A few episodes ago you talked about a skin ball Like a yeah, your skin ball skin a ball of skin. Have you gotten rid of your skin ball? Yeah skin ball's gone. Where is it? I don't believe you. You're how hot how how much in a box? Where is it buried in the ground? I don't like that. Yeah, next to my grandfather. Oh my god Skin a ball skin ball you bury me next to a skin a ball. What is the negative? I don't think there is one. I think you're a very eligible bachelor. Thank you. Yeah

Yeah, I I'm actually really proud of you and uh with your sobriety and and I think ever since I got to know you You've really just been blossoming There's negatives with you It's not about me. No, but if you were single I would there would be some negatives go on Grumpy So are you? No, I'm not. We literally have a tape of footage of you to start this show Where the girl says you're being grumpy. Oh, that's true. Do we need to cut back to that tape? No, no, you're right. I am grumpy Yeah, you're grumpy. Sometimes sometimes I'm grumpy. Why didn't you say that before? That's a negative thing because I wasn't searching for negativity

Oh, there's positives. I'm only looking for the positive. Yeah. Well, yeah, I am grumpy. I'm moody. So are you I'm pretty moody Yeah, but you know what that comes with time the territory everybody gets grumpy. I don't think she does she's young Oh, I was this morning. I was super grumpy. See and she does get grumpy. Yeah about what? I like like after I had my coffee was night and day But I was walking my dog to the coffee shop and everybody I passed. I was just like fuck you You know, all right. I don't know why it's just it's so funny that white people do that way like what what? Like as soon as I get up Caffeines in my system in 10 seconds. I mean usually I do but I have so many roommates

I don't even what am I mean? We do the same thing. No, she walked to the coffee shop Well, yeah, some of us like to fucking exercise. I know you can walk. Anyway, I'm not saying that I'm just saying when she wakes up When's the last time you walked? I walked here from my car I was walking barely that was weird. I wasn't on rickshaw. Your legs were like inverted. It was strange One of the last time you took like a nice long walk New York That was months ago. No, I was just there last week. Oh, that's right. That's right. I walked a lot

Show me your phone. Why give me your phone. Go to the health app. I want to see how many steps I don't have a health app it tracking you whether you know it or not. Let's compare open your health app And let me see how many steps you take. I didn't know there was a health app on this Go to health. Okay. Go health. Just just just just type in health man. Yeah, thank you I know how it's spelled It's called health mate or health. Is there a heart on it? Yeah, it's a heart A red heart or a green heart. It's a red one. So here's what we're gonna do Just click on it. It says you're not walking quite as much this week compared to last week

All right, so go to let me see a little look at show it to me and I just want to see your daily average So you click on the y for a year. You see the y up top? Look oh down look you're in this thing, right? Yeah, click on steps click on steps click it Okay, and then I'll go to the y you see the y on the top. Yeah, that's your daily average for the year What is yours daily average steps is 4,600 4,364 8,000. What are you 8,300? 8,000. Lazy bitch. Is that what it is? Yeah, bro. You're you're not you got to go do it go fucking walk

I thought 4,360 was good dog shit Bobby. Will you hike with me? Would you ever hike and that's insane? I didn't know this was a thing. You're supposed to be close to 10,000 steps a day. That's the average for the average health Uh, the healthy active body should walk 10,000 steps a day approximately. They say oh, no What are you at fans 8,000? So we're all the same 4,000 is but I walk without my phone. You know what sedentary is. You know, it's sedentary. I walk without my phone Is that I know but somehow it knows It doesn't know now. I know I walk with my phone often as well. So it doesn't this is that's why it's an average And by the way, you're never not without your you're never without your phone. That's a fucking lie. That's true. Yeah

It's a fucking lie Oh my god, this is insane. So this is the checkmate that we need for your health way. He didn't answer me though Go ahead. What is it? You won't hike with me ever? No, I would anytime you would for real I need fucking time. You want I would love to hike. I would love to hike with you I've hiked with poly before I'll hike with you and I'll I know hike a real one. Yeah, not a poly hike a real hike you bring Your dog She's too little to make it so high up my dog will go but she can she can I get nervous that she gets tired Like I took her to run in when she was young and then I would get nervous because I was like, oh, she's fucking exhausted

Yeah, but I would have to go in the afternoon when the sun was setting behind the mountain So she wouldn't so hot in the sun. I'm careful with my little girl. Yeah, that's good I like because when I see people take their dogs to the fuck to hikes and the dogs look like they're actually dying on the hike I'm like, why are you doing that to that fucking dog? Yeah, that's no good You know what they say the out here the concrete gets so hot There's a rule of thumb for dog owners that are out there does I mean this if your hand If you put your hand down on the asphalt of the concrete and you can't keep your hand on there for like five seconds One one thousand two and it's too hot then it's fucking so painful for your dog. Yeah, but people don't do they just walk them

Anyway, I know you've never thought about that. Oh, you know what I do is I I I you let them piss in the house No, I train their paws to take the heat Do you put them on the stove lighter? Smart that's smart. Yeah Once a day each each paw for five minutes. You had a moment of reflection What did you think about the 4 000 steps now are you three thinking how you're gonna start walking more? 100% I got to get to 8 000 10 000 is what you should be Oh, I'll do eight. No 10 10 a day. Okay. I'll do 10 but um, I don't know where to walk to

What do you mean where does one walk? We just offered you hiking hiking or or how about this? What's up there during the desert destination? There's views. Is there an avi at our nation? I want advice on the clothes Yo, there is there's a mall at the top Cool. Yeah, there is. There's a dip teak for candles. I love that. Yeah. Oh, there's a golden goose store at the top I love golden goose. I'll go We just trick out. No trick. What are you talking about? There's juicy land at the top. Chill chill chill And there's also

And there's and there's also Um a cool t-shirt store that sells old band t-shirts. Yeah, I'm going. All right. Yeah, they come with holes in them Okay, I'll go you need to just in your neighborhood Find a cool mom and pop coffee shop Walk to it once a day go get a cup of coffee clear your little mind get off your fucking phone Put it in your pocket think and walk Can you start doing this? Yeah

We should make a bet you already lost a thousand now. Why have you paid my thousand dollars to me? It's okay You lost it on this show. I I think I cancelled it already. How? Well, we went to master as I paid for that. No, you fucking didn't you just make up stuff Did I pay for the maestro's jail? See I paid for no I did that last one in Beverly Hills I think it's $800 I did I paid for the biggest one and also by the way you fucking you said you wanted to pay you verbatim said that So fuck off. No, I got it. So I owe you 200 bucks. No, you owe me a no. You owe me a thousand dollars. I'm never gonna pay it Really? Yeah, really we made a bet on the show. Yeah, I know you're gonna fucking I want to fucking what?

When we go on tour, I'll I'll pay for a couple extra meals. No. Yeah, fancy's paying for the meals Let me do it. I want you to cook. I want you to cook on tour and I want you to only wear the apron nothing else That's how I cook anyway. I want to see you going on tour with us. Maybe Maybe we'd like him to you'd love to we got to lock these dates, baby It's actually happening. I'm excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so fucking excited. I didn't ask about the pay About what she goes? How much am I getting paid? I did not ask. Yeah, you did you said no you go? How much do I get?

Right when you say pay, what do you mean? I didn't ask I know but like you're on bobby. Bobby believe it or not We're paying like we're playing like what two thousand sometimes five thousand it depends depends on what the place is every city is different Yeah, every city is different. So what do you think you deserve if you're gonna do like 15 minute spots? Don't do this. Yeah, I want to this is what he did the second we got in the car to go to dinner He said, what do you think you deserve? People don't talk about money like you do you talk about money in a different way. Let's play a game. It's fucking go ahead. I just made it up

This is a game. Yeah, what is it? So we each ask any kind of question See if you can answer Oh my god, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay What is the Klingon's name in star trek next generation? Um Wait, uh What is the Klingon's name? On star trek next generation. Now seeing as I've never seen it. I really have to dig in on this one

Borg No, that's an alien another alien race. So congratulations. I know this one. Yeah. Hell yeah I know this one, but I can't think of his name. Okay. It's not captain Kirk It's he's not even in the fucking next generation. Oh, then I'm out this fucking dude. Yeah Even I got Borg. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Borg's in the next generation. Who is it same world wharf Wharf. Oh, by the way, close though. Borg wharf does kind of sound you ask the question though. Um This game sucks. Let's just try one round and then we'll do something else. How about this?

That's my game and then you guys came up come up with your own name. That's a game in itself. It's a game in itself So that was 25 minutes. Yes. Yeah, but don't fucking bullshit that I wish it wasn't but we haven't been knocking anything out of the park Anyway, let's jam for another minute I just not going anywhere. Aaron Carter dad That's not going I can I I know our podcast. I know us. Yeah It's not gonna go we just need to hum for a minute to see if we can hum our way out of something and then we'll be good I'm gonna try everything in the book games I tried to do the game thing. It didn't work. You know, I mean for it's more about just us getting in a place where

Here's the thing. Let's move on from that. Okay Okay, let's regroup. Let's regroup. You ready? Hold on. Just give me a second.