Bad Friends - We Are Firing Fancy

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey! Oh, look at what goes on my feet. Look at what goes on my hands and my body. And look at what goes on our head. And my head. We got new merch, new socks and shirts. It's been a long time since we made merch, but we really love this drop. That's why we did it.

Starting point is 00:00:12 We waited. We think this design is so cool. We've got the baseball caps. Baseball caps. The t-shirts. We have the thank you t-shirts. And socks. And we have socks.

Starting point is 00:00:20 Available right now at BadFriendsMerch.com. Hey guys, we have new merch. Check it out. These t-shirts. Oh my god, the best we've ever done I think. This is incredible, this design is my favorite so far. These hats, and these shirts. And these hats. And this is like the thank you bags that you get, which we love so much. And it's got some stuff down below for you to read when you get them, you'll see.

Starting point is 00:00:39 You'll love it. So go check out BadFriendsMerch.com Go to BadFriendsMerch.com to get to get this gear these hats these shirts and Socks for your feets ease get these right now at bad friends merch calm I'll tell you something, I was sitting there, you know what I mean? And, just fool, Andreas goes, 230. And I go, that's my heart out, right?

Starting point is 00:01:15 You said that. No, he said 230. Yesterday I said I need to get out of here at 230, but the way he was saying it, I said, we're not equals. Outside of this facility, we're completely equal. No, I don't think that's true either. I don't either. I don't know why I just said that.

Starting point is 00:01:29 No. I think you're right, I think you're right. But we'll pretend out in public that we're equal, but here you don't touch, you don't tell me what to do. Okay. Okay? What about farting on me? They never did that, did you see that?

Starting point is 00:01:43 Fart what? She goes, what about farting on me? I didn't fart on him. Who farting on me? They never did that. Do you see that far what she she good? What about fighting on me? I don't fart on him who farted on you Did I fart on you? No, yes Hypothetically, okay. Oh, is there something you want him to do? Yeah. All right. I did I Did Why did I do it? No, why call yourself out? I know I felt guilty. Yeah, okay That's one. Yeah, I don't know if in a court of law,

Starting point is 00:02:06 if I was in trial. We're not in court. I would've lost. Yeah. Yeah, because it was thunderous, my friend. How are you? Why do you keep asking me that? I need water.

Starting point is 00:02:16 Yeah, you sound like, your mouth is dry. I just woke up. Are you being real? Yeah, you sound weird. Really? Yeah, you're like. People think he's drunk in these early episodes, and I've had to comment so much on the Patreon. I promise you Bobby did not relapse.

Starting point is 00:02:31 What early episodes? Like when we record before 5pm. Yeah. Yeah. That's, I'm borderline drunk when I wake up early. Okay. But not drunk from the night before, ladies and gentlemen. This is just.

Starting point is 00:02:43 From four years ago. Four years ago. You know what I said, I reserve alcohol in my body. Where do you hide it? Four times like this, right? A little bit in my heart, you know what I mean? A little bit in my liver, and for some reason, my right toe.

Starting point is 00:02:57 Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like a little flask. I like your hat. Thank you. What's wrong with you? I'm good. I feel great. You feel good. I feel great. You feel good?

Starting point is 00:03:06 I feel great because I got to tell Fancy today that I might not do his movie. Oh, that's so funny because yesterday you said, this morning or last, yesterday goes, hey, baby, Andrew's doing the movie. You're doing it now, right? I was like, there's no way Andrew said yes to it. I did. You said it. I did.

Starting point is 00:03:25 You said yes? I did. Are you gonna do it? Yeah, but he knows that there might be something else that I get to do, and if I get to do that, I can't do that. Okay, what's the other thing you need to do? Oh, is it private?

Starting point is 00:03:34 Yeah, I'll tell you off camera. But if it happens, I told him, if it happens, it'd be amazing. It's not a guarantee like everything. Is it golf oriented? No, no, it's a movie. Congratulations. Well, brother, I don't have it.

Starting point is 00:03:44 It's being talked about. The idea would be nice if I get it. You're in the mix. Yeah, who knows? Maybe. Yeah. I mean, it's just as likely it'll happen that it won't happen.

Starting point is 00:03:55 That's how I feel about everything. Are there big stars in it? Upcoming, for sure. Okay. Like Young, this is the thing nowadays. Like what is the star? I don't know. Who's the star now?

Starting point is 00:04:05 Who is the star now? Tim but he's okay. I'm at that outside of and first of all, yeah, I love Timothée Yeah, he's my favorite Timothée. Yeah, he was in company. Oh, no Very good What is that Willy Wonka oh You don't know how I can interpret. They heard it. Yeah, they heard it.

Starting point is 00:04:28 Timothée. Yeah, Timothée. He keeps trying that in interviews. I've seen that clip. He's like, it's Timothée. And they're like, right, Timothy, do you feel? Wait, that guy claims his name is different? His name is Timothée.

Starting point is 00:04:38 No, it's not. Go on YouTube and show the compilation of him saying Timothy the right way. It's pronounced Timothy. It's whatever you'd like. No, but I always thought, I don't know if you guys, I thought it was Tim-o-tay because of the double E's at the end.

Starting point is 00:04:50 It's supposed to be, but you could say Doug, Alex, Rick, whatever works. I like guests like this. You don't. Remembering names is half why. So he's being sweet there. And then as he gets more famous. He gets angry.

Starting point is 00:05:03 Well, he gets more honest. He goes, it's Tim-o-tay. I think he gets sick of people doing angry. Well, he gets more honest. He goes it's it's Timothée I think he gets sick of people doing it and he goes listen, dude Look do the first do the first white one there see what he says there. There it is It's supposed to be Timothée. It's Timothée. Can you say your name in French? Je présente Timothée Chalamet. Salut je m'appelle Timothée Chalamet. C'est Timothée Chalamet. Salut c'est Timothée Chalamet. A Timothée Chalamet. Je m'appelle Timothée Chalamet. Timothée. Enchanté. Timothée. Timothée. Salut, je m'appelle Timothée Shalameh. C'est Timothée Shalameh. Salut, c'est Timothée Shalameh. Ah, Timothée Shalameh.

Starting point is 00:05:25 Je m'appelle Timothée Shalameh. Timothée. Enchanté. Timothée. Timothée. Yeah, you're right. So why are we calling him... I apologize, Timothée.

Starting point is 00:05:33 Jean-Mont-Lanc. No, I'm gonna call him Timothy. His name is fucking Tim. It's a little ridiculous. Timbo. Like when Prince did the cymbal, I still suck with Prince. You're incorrect. That's one of the greatest musicians of all time.

Starting point is 00:05:45 I'll call him whatever the fuck he wants. Do you know your attitude right now? Prince? Yeah. Bro, Prince. Prince. I'm just saying, if one day you call me and you go, hey yo, I changed my name. I go, what is it?

Starting point is 00:05:56 And you're like, I'm gonna be like, I'm not calling that. First of all, you would love that. Yeah, yeah. You'd go, that's fucking- Yo, yo, what? You know, yeah. Bobby, Bobby calls me. And then I'm gonna do this, and then you're gonna go,

Starting point is 00:06:07 I'm mom. This is not what you're gonna be called. Oh, here we go. I changed my name to oh. I wouldn't have to do that then. Oh. Okay. There it is.

Starting point is 00:06:22 Okay. Yeah, you accentuate it. What's your name then, if it's a symbol? Okay. Okay, good. Yeah, very good. If we were emojis. Okay.

Starting point is 00:06:31 No, you'd be the sleepy emoji and I'd be the angry with the fuckin', with the smoke. What I'm saying is, is that maybe, cause in the old days, you know, like Richie Valens. Mm. No? Mm. Who is he? I love Richie Valens. Yeah. You see Richie Valens, you know who Richie Valens is? La Bamba. That song. I love the movie La Bamba. He's gonna correct us. Go ahead and say it. What? We know, dude. Oh my God. We've

Starting point is 00:07:01 done this before. He was forced to change his name because he's Hispanic dude, right? Good, back in the good old days. That was that. What's his real name, Richie Valenz? Richard Stephen Valenzuela. That's not that big of a difference. That's not a drastic change.

Starting point is 00:07:17 Oh yeah, yeah. Richard to Richie and Valenzuela to Valenzuela. They just shortened it so it's easier. I think that's true. Yeah, that's not. So what I'm saying is, Timothy, Timotei, right? Just stick with Timothy, it's easier. For us, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:31 For us. Yeah. But I liked when Zach Galifianakis didn't change his last name. Can't. Yeah. It's too memorable. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:39 Even if people fuck it up. Yeah, you know what I hate when you're going on a date with a girl and she's a really complex name So what I've done this several times where I'm driving to their house and I'm like go look at my go look at my whatever Their name is yummy and just you know, keep repeating it. Yeah, so that you don't fuck up during the day You're gonna stop dating island girls Is that what that's all island people oh, yeah, you're yeah. Here on the mainland, it's just like Mary, Sarah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:06 Or if you're dating like a woman from Africa, that's a difficult one. What's her name? I mean, you're in the car, right? You match with Raya, right? And then you go, hey, you wanna go out and date? You're in a car in Africa? No, she lives here now.

Starting point is 00:08:21 Oh. What if it's there? That'd be cool. Oh, so I'm on a camel. You're riding on a camel? Yeah, yeah. North Africa. Do Oh. What if it's there? That'd be cool. Also, I'm on a camel. You're riding on a camel. Yeah, yeah. North Africa. Do they have camels still? Sure they do. Yeah, okay.

Starting point is 00:08:30 Egypt, dog. So if I was driving and I was like, okay. Okay. Okay. So you get the right. Hi, ma'am. I'm here to pick up. It's nice to meet you, Bobby. Come downstairs.

Starting point is 00:08:49 Yeah, yeah. But you know what they have it right. Why can't we use sound effects? Dude, that's so funny. You know when you call out, when you're with someone, you call out their name in the house and they can't hear you? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:58 You know, if you're like, babe, babe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Africa, they're like, Mwah, Mwah. Babe! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In Africa they're like, mwah! Mwah! How can you not hear me?

Starting point is 00:09:07 You don't hear me? I've been clicking all morning. How can you not hear me? Yeah. Or sometimes you say their name in sex. Yeah, oh! Oh! Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:21 But why can't we go to, like, if I have a kid, I'm gonna go sound effects. What's your kid gonna be called? Oh, well, let's all guess what that was. Go ahead, fancy? One Hispanic, it looks like a lawnmower. A lawnmower, yeah. If that's Hispanic girl, Macon, what is that?

Starting point is 00:09:41 Reving an ATV. ATV, so the kid's name is ATV. It's either mower or ATV. What about, so the kid's name is ATV. Yeah. It's either mower or ATV. What about you? Look what I'm doing though. What about you? Vroom.

Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh, it's a wiker. What? Biker. Motorcycle. No, that's all wrong. Let me see it again, do it again. Vroom. Wave runner. No. Jetski. That is a jetski.

Starting point is 00:10:02 You're never gonna guess it. I could give you $300. Give us another thing it does. Another thing? You don't have to do something different. All right. So it goes, and it does both of these things? What does?

Starting point is 00:10:24 It does. of these things? What does it does? It sure does! It's not even funny my explanation. What is it? What? What is it? It's like you're rubbing a dragon's horns. Oh my god. Oh and if, yeah. Yeah. So you got close. Yeah, we were close. Yeah, you're very close. We were very, very close.

Starting point is 00:10:49 Yeah. What would your name your son if it's a sound effect or McDonner? That's it. Yeah. But they're going to turn out to be lazy, I think. No shit. Yeah. If they're anything like their uncle Bob.

Starting point is 00:11:03 Yeah. Tell Mc, to clean his room. Let me tell you something. You gotta get in there. If I catch you, are you high? Are you high? Are you stoned young man? Yeah, that's amazing. I remember feeling that, that feeling I had in my bones

Starting point is 00:11:19 and my mom would say that to me when I come home. Are you stoned? Oh yeah. And I was like, fuck. No. You can't do it when you're Asian. They can't tell. Are you tired?

Starting point is 00:11:31 I'm tired too. Oh, very tired. Everybody tired. Everybody tired, yeah. Everybody is tired. I don't know if we ever talked about why they're like that, the eyes. Have we talked about that?

Starting point is 00:11:43 Yeah, probably. They're not. It's all an illusion. You don't think my eyes ever talked about why they're like that, the eyes. Have we talked about that yet? Probably. They're not. It's all an illusion. You don't think my eyes are squintier than yours? No. I think it's actually illusion. Oh, you think it's an optical illusion? I think it's an optical illusion.

Starting point is 00:11:54 You think so? Absolutely, right. I see eyes. Look at me right now, right? Mm-hmm. All right? Nope, looks just, yeah, no. I think it's an optical illusion.

Starting point is 00:12:03 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's supposed to be like a magic eye. Can you guys even do magic eyes? Well, you do one first. When you get close and you pull away, you know those? Or you guys don't even, you don't need to do it. You just look at it and see the sailboat?

Starting point is 00:12:14 No. We don't have to do that, we just see it. That's what I just said. Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right, okay, good. My mom had one, she still has it in her house. It's a New York one. And it's like one of those ones where it's gigantic and you literally, no one in the house

Starting point is 00:12:30 has ever gotten it except me. It's like on the wall? Yeah, it's on the wall. Yeah, I've seen those. Yeah. I used to love Magic Eye. Yeah, Magic is the best. And wasn't it cool to go see these at somebody's house

Starting point is 00:12:39 and someone couldn't do it in the group and they were like, what do you guys see? And you're like, dude, you got it, it's awesome. Right, right. But you need, for me, it works better if it's in glass. Really? Yeah. See, I like it in the book.

Starting point is 00:12:51 I can easy in the book. Yeah, because I'll tell you why glass is easier is you don't look at the fucking painting or the photo. You look at the image behind you. Ah, right. And it appears. And then it automatically appears. Like this I can't do.

Starting point is 00:13:08 Well, we're too far. I can't do it from this far. Yeah, I can't do it. I can't cross my eyes. When I cross my, I can do it when I'm up close. Hold on, hold on. I can't do it. I can do it only when it's too far away.

Starting point is 00:13:22 It's too far away. That's way too far away. Let's move on from optical. What's an optical? Oh my, my eyes are off. You've been missing me? I've been gone. I know.

Starting point is 00:13:30 You butt dialed me and I texted, I called him three times. I said, what's up? And he goes, butt dial, but I've been thinking of you. Yeah, so I have been thinking about you. I know, that made me feel. But not really. Okay. Yeah, I mean, because I know when I'm gonna see you again.

Starting point is 00:13:43 You don't know when you're gonna see me? I know, well, because I went to Hawaii. Oh, let me say something. I went to Hawaii. It was the best Hawaiian trip I've ever had. Why is that? In my life. Everything just worked out perfectly.

Starting point is 00:13:56 In terms of? Everything. So I'll give you a little bit of specifics. Well, that would help the story. Yeah, oh, yeah, I don't know much about storytelling. I was worried about the shows because in Hawaii they're like, mate, you know, it's- Hawaii, they went mate? Yeah, that's my agent.

Starting point is 00:14:14 Oh. Yeah, he's been a lot. Yeah. But they say that the tickets are bad. No, no, no, no. First of all, I know you're lying. They didn't say that and the tickets weren't bad. So-

Starting point is 00:14:23 Months in advance, they're like, it's not moving. And then slowly through time, it got there. Yeah, months in advance. It's not moving. All right. So go ahead. What are you doing right there, dude? Nothing, I was just trying to look up your numbers.

Starting point is 00:14:35 Okay. Well, don't do that. I can tell you what they are. Okay. So the first show sold out and the second show was almost. And it's Hawaii theater, it's a hard market, but all my openers had a blast.

Starting point is 00:14:47 You went with Ramsey, Baddowie? Ramsey, Ariana, ceramic, and that big white guy, Mikey, at the store. Yeah. And then, here's the good, and this is not funny, but I had never met the baby before. You met Kailala's baby. And I hung out with her boyfriend and the baby.

Starting point is 00:15:07 We went to a beach and I brought, I'm seeing somebody, so I brought her and then all the openers came and her mom and the whole family was there. It was like a big happy family. So it was like two worlds in just on the beach. You know what I mean? And it was just like, it was just perfect that day. Why are you smiling?

Starting point is 00:15:29 It's nice. Go ahead, rip me apart. No. Do Bobby's mom, whatever you need to do. No, no, I think that's really nice that you had that kind of, I think that's really nice. Yeah, because remember the time before that, right? Not good.

Starting point is 00:15:43 Yeah, a lady said you're too fat and almost jumped off the balcony. Right, that was bad. It's like, you know, if you weigh. The juxtaposition is big. Yeah, juxtaposition. Yeah. Yeah, so that's why.

Starting point is 00:15:51 No, these are nice moments. I told you this, these are nice moments. I had a nice moment. I drove, I was in the car driving from Philly to the Hamptons. Wow. Stayed at Timmy's house, big Tim Dillon's house. Wow.

Starting point is 00:16:02 By myself, in the car all day, listening to music. Was he there? No, he was out here. Oh, okay. By the house. Wow. By myself, in the car all day, listening to music. Was he there? No, he was out here. Okay. By the house to myself. It was- And then what'd you do there? I went and did an episode of the golf podcast

Starting point is 00:16:14 and then I went out and played golf with someone out there and just kind of like took it easy. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Really nice. Yeah. Yeah, and I had the same moment you did where I was, you know, you were surrounded by family and friends and lovers and I was alone and I was like, this is amazing.

Starting point is 00:16:26 You know, that's the true test. Being alone? Yeah, because last two, before I went to Hawaii, no, yeah, no, yes. Before I went to Hawaii, sorry. Clip it. No, yes, no, yes. Tuesday night, I literally was sitting,

Starting point is 00:16:44 I didn't have a spot. You sat at home. So I sat there and I went, oh God, I'm so bored. And then I just got in the car and went to, I went roller skating by myself. Roller skating? At a roller skating rink?

Starting point is 00:16:59 Yeah, in Glendale. Wow. Literally by myself. Cruisin'. Just cruisin' by myself and never done anything like that before, but then I was astounded and very surprised about how comfortable I was being by myself.

Starting point is 00:17:11 People comin' up to you all the time. No one. There's a couple of places, roller skating rinks and spas, they don't do it. Well, spas is out of respect, everybody's naked. Or is everybody naked at the roller skating rink as well? No. Oh, Glendale, yes, I know that one.

Starting point is 00:17:23 Yeah, Glendale, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro, bro, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skate bro. Welcome to skate bro. Take off your pants, put on the roller skating rink as well? No, no Glendale, yes I know. Yeah, Glendale, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, bro, bro. Skate bro. Welcome to skate bro. Take off your pants, put on roller skates. Bro, bro. Bro, bro. You have to skate with your dick out.

Starting point is 00:17:33 Bro, bro. What if you fall? It's gonna hurt. Yeah. But you know what's great? Blacks and Mexicans. Slow down. Blacks.

Starting point is 00:17:42 There it is. And Mexicans. Yeah. You understand? I love it. There it is. And Mexicans. Yeah. You understand? I love it. Yeah, yeah. It's not just about, it's a lifestyle. Roller skating.

Starting point is 00:17:53 Yeah, it is. It is. It's the way, you know. It's as if they have a little bit more rhythm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Starting point is 00:18:02 Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. You know what I mean? It's like, you know what I mean? And I'm like a deer on ice. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, you know what I mean? It's like, you know what I mean? And I'm like a deer on ice, ah, you know what I mean? I couldn't get into the rhythm, you know what I mean? But they're just like, oh, so the couple,

Starting point is 00:18:14 they do, they can sing, right? Dude, I love it. I love it. I watch, there's a guy on TikTok I watch, he like goes and skates, him and a crew of guys go and skate. Yeah. Black dudes in roller rinks. Oh my God, I forget about it. That's our Pilates.

Starting point is 00:18:28 That's white Pilates. Yeah. And then here's a rule I didn't know about. I slammed on my left side of my body and some guy, you know, there's always that white guy. And then he goes, you okay? I go, yeah, I'm fine. And he goes, well then give me a thumbs up then. I guess in roller skating runs, you just got,

Starting point is 00:18:45 you have to. You have to thumbs up if you're okay. Your arms broken and you have to go. I mean, it's, is that a thing? I don't know. I don't know. I've never even heard of that before in my entire life. This is in St. Louis, where it's going ham.

Starting point is 00:19:00 They're going off. Yeah, see? Yeah, that's it. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Hey, hey. Dun, dun, dun, that's it. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Hey, hey. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And he's like, what I like about it is there's no white people there.

Starting point is 00:19:14 Yeah. There isn't, because they don't get in the way of these guys. They're having a fucking great time. See that with their female? Oh my God. That's the move. That's it.

Starting point is 00:19:22 Woo! Yeah. Hey, hey. Yeah, I think this is gonna be my new activity. Does the person you're seeing, does she end to this? No. She better start to be. Yeah, here's another thing we did last night.

Starting point is 00:19:34 I've been very spontaneous lately, I tell you that. I like this. Right? Yeah. We were at Boa Restaurant. Right? Someone's doing well. Yeah, yeah, getting some of that snow beef.

Starting point is 00:19:47 Snow beef? Snow beef in the house, right? And so this is over there by the beach. Oh, in Malibu? Like Manhattan Beachy. Oh, down south, yeah. And after dinner, we went to Urban Outfitters. Yeah, as you would right after Boa.

Starting point is 00:20:03 Thank you, thank you. Yeah. You go to Boa and then you need some quick silver slip-ons for the beach. Yeah. You want to go get some board shorts after Boa? Okay. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Very funny that you.

Starting point is 00:20:15 Thanks. It's kind of what we're doing here, Dennis. Walk outside and across the street was an escape room. Oh dude, I just, hold on, before you finish this, I just talked to the king in comedy of escape rooms last night. The king of the comedies of the escape rooms? No, the king, the king in comedy of escape rooms,

Starting point is 00:20:36 like a comedian who's the king of escape rooms. Guess who it is. But is he popular in comedy? Let's just tell me, just guess who it is. Who do you think would be good at this? Bill. Burr, no, that's a good guess. I think he would be good.

Starting point is 00:20:51 Moshe Kasher. That's a very good guess. And by the way, you're on the right line of thinking. His initials are BW. Brad Williams. I'm gonna tell you- I don't know how he gets to some of the dwarves. He can't get out of anything that you need to do. Yeah, he's stuck everywhere he goes. I'll tell you, that guy- I don't know how he gets to some of the drawers and the things that you need to do.

Starting point is 00:21:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's stuck everywhere he goes. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you. You what? Brent Weinbach. Oh, of course. Brother, last night, I'm not kidding.

Starting point is 00:21:13 Of course. He says to me, Ryan Sickler goes, "'Hey, yo, because of you, I got into escape rooms. Now I go with my daughter and it's a great activity.'" And Weinbach goes, "'Well, I enjoy them very much. In fact, dude, he's the best. He's the best. And you know what he said?

Starting point is 00:21:27 He goes, this is what he does. How clever of Brent Weinbach. He liked going so much. He would call the escape rooms and go, hey, if you guys are testing out new rooms, you should test them out on me for free. So now they call Brent Weinbach. Yeah, amazing.

Starting point is 00:21:42 And he tests out new rooms all over LA County. Yeah. When the company makes them, they consult Brent Weinbach. Yeah, amazing. And he tests out new rooms all over LA County. Yeah. When the company makes them, they consult Brent Weinbach on how to get out. And Sickler goes, but you don't go by yourself. He's like, I achieved that most of the time by myself. Whoa, he probably, you know what? Brent probably doesn't even do hints.

Starting point is 00:21:58 No, he doesn't do fucking hints. Have you been to a skip room? Yes. Yeah. He doesn't, he just figures it out. We did five hints. Did this guy, Brent Weinbach. He's amazing. One of the funniest comic. Yeah. He just figures it out. We did five hints. Did this guy, Brent Weinbach. He's amazing.

Starting point is 00:22:06 One of the funniest comic. Yeah. So he's the king in LA comedy right now of escape rooms. No one can beat him. I had no idea about that. He's the best, dude. All right, so I went last night and that's it. You took the girl?

Starting point is 00:22:19 Yeah, we went in there and I'll tell you, I solved four on my own. Well, you're here, aren't ya? What do you mean? No, you got out. No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. Cause I did them in Budapest and I was no help to the group.

Starting point is 00:22:37 Well, was it, yeah, I mean. Cause you get those like actresses, you know what I mean, Hollywood actresses, they wanna take the lead. Is that demeaning or no? That's a good thing, I sent it. It's a fact. It's a fact.

Starting point is 00:22:48 Yeah. We got it. Now if you said those Hollywood actresses, you know they're terrible people, I'd be like, well that's a little. Yeah, but they are. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:57 So, I was surprised that I got four of them. Four? Like on my own, where I didn't have to. Pretty good. And then she got like five or six. Oh wow. But then there was still three or four or five that we couldn't get, it was impossible.

Starting point is 00:23:11 So you didn't get out? I wasn't laughing, I was coughing. When do you leave for Spain? We gotta get him out of here. Yeah, we gotta get you out of here. Let's get you out of here. Speaking of which, good transition. We at Bad Friends here are going to be looking

Starting point is 00:23:28 for a new Spaniard because our friend is leaving for four months, three months, four months. Shooting a movie. Shooting a movie. Yeah. And he's got other stuff to do. He wants to go see family and stuff. So he's gonna be gone.

Starting point is 00:23:41 We're gonna lose a Spaniard in the booth. So we'd like to get a new Spaniard. If you were in the Los Angeles area and you wanna be the Spaniard in the booth. So we'd like to get a new Spaniard. If you were in the Los Angeles area and you wanna be the Spaniard in the booth, we're taking submissions. You gotta send a video over why you'd be good in the booth. We'll review it on the show. Send it to CarlosInTheBooth.Gmail.com

Starting point is 00:23:53 or DM our Instagram, DM the Instagram. But you gotta be a Spaniard. These are the rules. You must be not of Spanish descent. You have to be from Spain. Yeah, not Mexico. No, Spain. Not Chile. And it can't be your parents. You have to be from Spain. Yeah, not Mexico. No, Spain. Not Chile.

Starting point is 00:24:07 And it can't be your parents. You have to be from Spain. So it's gonna limit the options, but we need real Spaniards in the booth. Male or female, by the way. Yeah, we love it. And female, just so you know. Are the best.

Starting point is 00:24:18 We'll go over some stuff with you and Carlos before you get in the booth with them. But yes, we will. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we will take all submissions. Preferred female. Sorry? Preferred female. Yeah, I'm, but yes, we will. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we will take all submissions. Preferred female. Sorry? Preferred female.

Starting point is 00:24:26 Yeah, I'm sure they don't prefer it. Carlos, you're not allowed. To do what? If somebody's working here, you're not allowed. Not allowed. Oh, I see what you're saying. Not allowed. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 00:24:36 Penetration. Yeah, I know. Can I say penetration? Any sort of tration. Yeah. No concentration, no masturbation, no tration at all. Is Bobby allowed? Arbitration, yeah. Maybe celebration, you can do celebration no tration at all. Is Bobby allowed? Arbitration, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:45 Maybe celebration, you can do celebration. Thank you. Okay. I love those. Yeah, we'll give him that. I love celebrations. Blue chew. You guys, 53 years old, sometimes I get ED,

Starting point is 00:24:55 sometimes I need a miracle and the miracle is blue chew. That's exactly right. Blue chew is incredible. It's not just a tablet, it's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer, lasting. It's like someone gave you downstairs a pep talk in a gym membership. You want to get jacked in the basement.

Starting point is 00:25:09 Yeah. I've had girls say, what are you, 22? I'm 53. They go, you have sex with like a 22 year old. Really? Girls say that to you? Yeah. And I go, thank you. When I'm on Bluetooth. When you're on the Bluetooth, when you're not on the Bluetooth, they go, what are you, a thousand years old?

Starting point is 00:25:20 Yeah, I say, okay. Yeah. Last time I took Bluetooth, my penis got sponsored by an energy drink company and refused to do missionary, saying it was bad for the brand. That's right. This isn't a supplement, it's an erection resurrection. Bobby tried Bluechew and now his hog has a zip code and voting rights.

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Starting point is 00:27:15 Go to Shopify.com slash lowercase Bad Friends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash lowercase Bad Friends. Rocket money. You saved me so much money with Rocket Money when you suggested it a year ago. I did, I said, Bob, you have way too many subscriptions and Rocket Money is a personal finance app

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Starting point is 00:28:33 I got a couple of guesses. Okay, so I'm doing a scene and then you give me, you be Andreas, all right? Say action for us. Action. Yeah, Filippo. It's his God given right. Zombie all day, every day. Okay, cut, Filippo. It's his God given right. Zombie all day, every day.

Starting point is 00:28:46 Okay, cut, cut, cut. Bobby, Bobby, if you're going to be in this scene, to pretend that you are with, okay, good, go, okay. Really? Because he's not gonna be able to do it. He doesn't know how to do it. Well, he also knows we're not gonna listen. We're not gonna listen now.

Starting point is 00:29:03 You know what I mean? Yeah. Like we're all, we're gonna be looking somewhere else, he's gonna be trying. If it. He doesn't know how to do it. Well, he also knows we're not gonna listen. We're not gonna listen now. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like we're all, we're gonna be looking somewhere else. He's gonna be trying. If he said, if he's Andrew. You play with me, here you go. Yeah, you be him. Okay, action.

Starting point is 00:29:14 Action, action, action I say! Action I say, I'm boss, action I say! I'll take my own cue. I'll take my own cue. Don't talk to me like that. Who the fuck do you think you are? I'm directing the movie. I quit.

Starting point is 00:29:28 Okay, anyway, action. I don't know where they're coming from, but I do know we need to stay here. If we leave, they're going to get us. Okay, okay, okay, cut, cut. Andrew, right? Stick the lines. Who wrote them?

Starting point is 00:29:45 I did. Get fucked. Andra, I have Chris Pine waiting. Hello? Yeah, I'm on set of this shitty movie. Yeah, send the chopper. Yeah, wow. Goodbye.

Starting point is 00:29:57 Do do do. He gets a chopper? Yeah. Yeah, they're flying by helicopter from Los Angeles to Spain. It's gonna take a while. It was a pretty bad deal I made in my contract. Okay, let's write down what we need on the...

Starting point is 00:30:11 I gotta write down what we need. He can type it up on the screen for us. Let him type it. Because we have a waiver. Oh, not waiver. What's it called again? Contract? No, not contract.

Starting point is 00:30:21 Rider. We need a rider. Here's our rider for the movie. Okay. We'd like to make our Ryder. Give us our request. Bobby Lee's Ryder starts with what? Can we do combo? Yeah, Bobby Lee and Andrew Ryder.

Starting point is 00:30:29 All right, you go back and forth. Go ahead. What's your first thing that you need for the movie? I need 87 sugar-free Red Bulls stocked into a trailer. Seems pretty reasonable. And chilled. Not frozen, but almost getting there. What's yours? I want 87 Diet Cokes, please.

Starting point is 00:30:47 And a slice of lime fresh with every Diet Coke. And I don't want lime that's been there. I need new lime, new lime. And also I'd like an ice maker in that in case him and I would like some ice with it. Because I know it gets hot in Spain in the summer. Exactly. Okay.

Starting point is 00:31:02 My next one is when I'm in my trailer and I want to put my feet up, I don't want an Ottoman. I want a Brad. A little person. Brad. A little Spanish. Him specifically. Brad Williams. Okay, great. I can just kind of relax. And he's also very funny. We can play Uno. He's good at Uno. Yeah. What's yours? Okay. I would like a back washer. I want someone hired to simply wash my back. Very bright can do it I need if I'm pretty tall. Yep. Can you wash how about this? I need a back washer and I need a six-foot ladder, please Just give me a six-foot ladder in a loofah and we'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah, I can use a lot of that That's how he watches very very very good. Very good. It's a lot of jumping. Otherwise. Yeah, what else do you need?

Starting point is 00:31:44 What I need is a Very, very, very good. Very good. It's a lot of jumping otherwise. Yeah. What else do you need? What I need is a, okay. I need to watch How to Train Your Dragon, part two. You know, right when, before editing. That's not a good one. I'll erase that. No, erase that, that's not a good one. I don't know what you were saying.

Starting point is 00:32:01 I was following you. I don't either. I followed you. Because once you said the fucking back thing and then I'm like, I think that's about it for me. No don't know what you're saying. I was following you. I don't either. I followed you. Because once you said the fucking back thing, and then I'm like, I think that's about it for me. No, but, all right, so I do know what I want, okay? What kind of food? Do you have any food requests?

Starting point is 00:32:12 Exactly, yeah, I need crudo. Hamachi crudo. Yeah, hamachi crudo, but like a garbage can full. A garbage can? Yeah, yeah. A new garbage can. A A garbage can. Yeah. A new garbage can.

Starting point is 00:32:26 A new garbage can. Because I know what you would do. A machi crudo, right. And also- And a straw for some reason. And I want fresh caught fish every day from the sea because we're right there. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:38 But I want the fishermen to stay with us. Exactly. All day and all night. I actually want them to sleep over. Yeah. I want a fish, an in-house live-in fisherman, please. Yeah. So he talks us about the fish, he informs us, he cooks it, he cleans it.

Starting point is 00:32:51 Also- Madrid is in the center of the country. Wait, this is in Madrid? Oh, we can't do it. Wait, it's in the inland? It's in the center of Spain. Oh my God. I didn't know it was in Madrid.

Starting point is 00:33:02 Did you tell me it was in Madrid? Forget the crudo though. I'll erase the crudo. Yeah, I can't do that. I can do the crudo, right? You know, I don't want a trailer anymore. What? Got it. He can't afford that anymore.

Starting point is 00:33:11 Yeah, but I want... Oh, listen to what I want. By the way, you thought you were getting a trailer? It's just somebody's car. I know, I know. His mom and dad's house. If you turn the AC up, you can sit in the car till we're ready. Yeah. For you.

Starting point is 00:33:23 I just want like like in the cement, I want a John Wick weapons cabinet. Ooh. Yeah, I mean with the coins and the, you know what I mean? And the- This makes perfect. The markers and all that stuff. Like a packet.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Okay. I want a John Wick packet, go ahead. And genuinely, I want a set dog on the heels of John Wick. I want a set dog. We want a dog for the set. Dead or alive? Doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter.

Starting point is 00:33:44 But when it's over, if it's alive when it's over, we have to skill it. We have to sacrifice it for the set dead or alive doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter But when it's over if it's alive when it's over we have to skill it. We have to suck That listing was bad we didn't I didn't come with a good one What'd you think? Well, you like your list? I think it's good. I think good. Let's move on from it then So anyway, so you're gonna you're gonna be there for three months in Spain You it's all cast Really every part is cast. Wow. Including the leads.

Starting point is 00:34:08 Including the leads. Which we are not. Yeah. I think we're number like 18 on the call sheet. What number would we be on your call sheet? That day you guys are number one. No, no, no, no, that's not how it works. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:18 I don't think you know how Hollywood works. You're always the same number on the call sheet, regardless of the day. What number are we? You guys are- What number are we? You guys are- What number are we? 10 and 11. Who's 10?

Starting point is 00:34:31 You are? Hmm. Who's 10? It's 10 and 10, sorry. 10A and 10B? 10A, you're not. 10A, Andrew, 10B, Bobby? Yes.

Starting point is 00:34:41 Interesting. Interesting, very interesting. So you're saying I'm above him? Is that what you're trying to say? Alphabetical, no, no. Valf So you're saying I'm above him? Is that what you're trying to say? Alphabetical, no, no. Valfabetical? I'm okay with it.

Starting point is 00:34:49 Okay. It's only one day at work? Three. Okay, and we have a little... Three, three, but we can get it done in one. Do we turn into zombies? You guys die by zombie attacks. But we never turn into one?

Starting point is 00:35:02 It's a flaw in the script. I don't, no, no. When you die and attacked by zombies, you turn into one? It's a flaw in the script. I don't...no, no. When you die and attacked by zombies, you turn into a zombie. Exactly. Also, I asked you if I...the whole reason why I wanted to do it is because I wanted to play a zombie. I know. But the time commitment to the make-up and all that. No, no, no. It's not time. You know what it is. He doesn't want to pay for the make-up and hair. Or, you know what I mean, he's going to cut us out of the movie.

Starting point is 00:35:22 Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you imagine him flying mean, he's gonna cut us out of the movie. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would never. Could you imagine him flying us to Spain just to cut us out of his movie? What's it called again? Do we know what it's called? We can cut all this out. We can cut whatever you want out.

Starting point is 00:35:32 Jabberwocky. Oh yeah, we can't do it. Yeah, we can't do it. Can we be lovers in it? Yes. That'd be fun. Hi, good morning. I have a headache, just don't talk to me right now.

Starting point is 00:35:43 I'm just doing the... I don't know if I buy it. My gayness? I think we'd really have to get in character. Oh, still, I know, no, no, no. I think we should spend a couple of weeks living together before we do the movie. We should do some pre-footage, you know what?

Starting point is 00:35:59 Let's rent a house here in LA for a week and let's live together and we'll film it and let's see how close we can really get. I would, even without the movie, if you really needed it, I would suck you off. We don't have to go through these elaborate things. Well, it's for the fans. No. It's for the fans.

Starting point is 00:36:25 We could just go right to the tap. If you really needed me to do it. Maybe I do. Oh, then I'll do it. Thank you. God. That's real friendship, by the way. Real friendship.

Starting point is 00:36:33 And you know who didn't set that up? The director. He has no influence on these characters whatsoever. I gotta tell you something right now. If we go out and do this movie for you, you're gonna owe us big time. Oh yeah. For a long, long time. Can you imagine? You're gonna owe us big time. Oh yeah. For a long time.

Starting point is 00:36:45 Long, long time. Can you imagine? You'll be under our thumb forever. And dead to us forever. Forever and ever in perpetuity. I will be different than now. How would that be different than now? Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah. Well, I mean, now we need you around for the show. We could fire you. In fact, if we find the Spanish replacement, that's it. Yeah, I don't think like, you know what I mean, the way you talked to me over there before. Didn't like it. Didn't like it, and I don't think that's in play

Starting point is 00:37:10 right now, okay? What we're saying is that like, eat the mud. Eat the mud. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that kind of a thing. Eat the mud. Yeah. I met his McCones. You met McCones what?

Starting point is 00:37:22 Oh, his family was in town while I was gone. Hold on. I liked the middle one. Yeah. Yeah. Your younger one does not like me. Does not. The younger brother?

Starting point is 00:37:36 Yeah. His vibe toward me was weird, dog. What is his problem with me? He's more of an Andrew fan. He was pretty disappointed that he wasn't around. You guys are pushing those buttons today, buddy. No, no, no. I mean, it's not even me. He just likes that style of stand-up more. Like more written, rehearsed, kind of fresher.

Starting point is 00:38:00 The notebook reference didn't really hit for him. Did I do a notebook reference on stage that night? No, I didn't. We didn't see you. They wanted to see Neil in the OR. McCone. Dude. No, no, hold on.

Starting point is 00:38:20 McCone, right? I wasn't ripping on your brother, right? I wasn't ripping on your brother. I was giving you just an observation. I know so was I. No you weren't. You were turning into a fucking death slam. It was a slam. It was a slam, dude.

Starting point is 00:38:36 Big slam. Top rope. Top rope. I was just saying, I don't think he likes me. And you're like, yeah, well your comedy is terrible. You don't have a right to take an acting class. I mean, what the fuck, bro? No, he was just a little too high. Oh, that takes away all the... That removes all the weight from all this.

Starting point is 00:38:52 It does? If he was stoned, he's probably... But does he believe that stuff? No, of course not. It doesn't sound like it. I don't know about it. Are you being real? I don't care.

Starting point is 00:39:03 I'm not that sensitive. Bro. Yeah, yeah. What is going on? I get it. I don't know about being real. Don't I don't care. I'm not that sensitive Bro yeah, what is going on? What's going on? I? Fucking movies wrong. I that was really fun. I took him to dinner the movies when you're gone Hey, you feel this picked up my tab for a little while right this guy, and this is what he does to me Well you this is the thanks he gets? I loved our movie day, Bob. Okay. I saw it when I was in Philly.

Starting point is 00:39:29 What? Mission and by myself. What'd you think? I'll say this. Okay. The beginning was terrible. Jumpy, crazy, convoluted. It looked like they did that.

Starting point is 00:39:38 You know, they shot the movie and then they're like, fuck, we need to do something with the beginning. That's really what it was. Like all the throwback footage. You didn't feel that? Yeah. Totally throwback footage. You didn't feel that. Yeah. Totally. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:39:47 Did you feel that? 100%. Yeah, I said the beginning was jumbled, but once I got into his groove. Yes, but once they found their feet, which they should have just started with, it's fine. Okay.

Starting point is 00:39:56 But just start there. Yeah. I loved the relationship with him and Ving. Ving Reigns. Yeah. That was emotional. It was awesome. Yeah. And Ving Re Ving Rhames. Yeah. That was emotional. It was awesome. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:08 And Ving Rhames is just good. He's great. He's just good. Yeah. I think my only hiccup was because I tested this on my own. You know I go diving and the submarine scene. Okay. I did it.

Starting point is 00:40:25 I'm serious. I went and dove, I tried to get out of a submarine's, the suction from an engine. Yeah. You're gone. You're gone. And that part didn't play real. Right.

Starting point is 00:40:35 Outside of that, everything else was fine. Him de-robing 600 feet underneath and being able to surface with that. Yeah. Totally believable. Yeah. In negative degree believable. Yeah. In negative degree water, believed it. He would literally have imploded down there.

Starting point is 00:40:51 Within seconds. It would have been like, it'd have been like the Titanic summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or that summer in that pop, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then outside of that, and the airplane scene, the airplane chase with each other, totally believable.

Starting point is 00:41:03 Loved it. Very easy. That's the part that he actually did. Totally believable. Uh, loved it. Very easy. That's the part that he actually did. Yeah, some of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah, yeah. He did some of that.

Starting point is 00:41:10 Yeah, he did. He flew, yeah, he flew the plane. I loved, I actually really enjoyed the movie as a whole. Yeah. Um, I did want for some reason him to die at the end. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:21 I really wanted that opus moment of like, this is it. Yeah. I'm done. And by the way, they could have left it where he may have of like, this is it. Yeah. And by the way, they could have left it where he may have been dead, but we don't know. Would have loved that. Yeah. Sexy, you know?

Starting point is 00:41:32 Here's another thing I hated about it. They're saying this is the last one. It's not. But at the end, when you do a thing where everyone meets at a courtyard or whatever in Paris. We learned this from what? Fast and Furious? Fast and Furious.

Starting point is 00:41:43 They do that in every fucking movie. I've never seen that. I've never seen that movie. They meet at the house in East LA in every movie. Really? To let you know, another one's coming. We'll be back. We'll be back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:53 So that I didn't like. I was like, fuck off. The Paris meetup I did not like. Yeah. Did not like that. And also you don't say anything? Why would you all meet in a courtyard, right, just to look at each other.

Starting point is 00:42:05 Yeah, I got, I understand. That's Tommy. I bet my banking out that was a Tom pitch. Really? I bet you my life he went, All right, so- And then we're all gonna meet. Yeah, yeah. But we won't say a word.

Starting point is 00:42:17 We won't, yeah. And the director- Our characters fly all around the world. To get to Paris. To get to Paris, right? And then check this out, we don't even say anything. Imagine Simon Pegg just shows up, he's like then check this out, we don't even say anything. Imagine Simon Pegg just shows up, he's like,

Starting point is 00:42:26 my luggage is, I lost my luggage, I'm sorry, I'm late to the meetup. Like one guy's flight was delayed. Yeah, and then. That's the part that bothers me the most about these kind of movies. Yeah. Is there's no real world moments,

Starting point is 00:42:38 which is correct, which is why Brad Pitt eats the entire time in oceans. You know that, right? In oceans. Eleven. Oh, right? In oceans. 11. Oh, 11. Brad's- Oh, I thought he was really a deep dead sea there.

Starting point is 00:42:49 He will be. All right, okay. In oceans, I guess the rumor goes, he wanted, he was like, he made a joke like, when are we taking a shit? Like one of these guys eating or sleeping or whatever. And I guess then he deliberately was like, well, I'm gonna eat the whole fucking movie.

Starting point is 00:43:07 So in every scene in oceans, he's eating something. Wow. Yeah, and apparently that was the impetus. Now this could be internet lore. Yeah. But it's a great piece of internet lore, but he is eating in every scene in ocean, something. Snacking, eating, chewing, doing something, drinking.

Starting point is 00:43:20 Yeah. Pretty cool, pretty cool. And by the way, you do notice it, like the first time I saw it, I remember noticing it, but actually not caring, which is kind of wild. You're pulling scenes from other movies we're not talking about. You know what Asaf-

Starting point is 00:43:32 I noticed he does it in all his movies. Well, he doesn't eat throughout the whole film, but in oceans he eats in every scene. No, in Moneyball he eats a lot too. Eats a lot, but not every scene. You know what Asaf Ali said yesterday about Brad Pitt? How funny was that phone call with you and I? That was, dude, you killed it with that phone call. I was dying laughing. He had Asaf Ali on the phone Brad Pitt? How funny was that phone call with you and I?

Starting point is 00:43:45 Dude, you killed it with that phone call. I was dying laughing. He had Asaf Ali on the phone because he was on the pod. So funny, so good. And he goes, did you listen to my audition for the animated show? I said, sure did. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:55 He goes, what do you think? I said, two words, you stink. And then I hung up. Yeah, it was amazing. I love him. Yeah. One of our favorite dude, I think one of the funniest. He's so talented, great actor.

Starting point is 00:44:04 Love Asaf. But he told me that he went to talented. Great actor. Love Asif. But he told me that he went to that new race car. F1? F1. And he got to go to the after party. Oh fuck. So he's at the after party.

Starting point is 00:44:13 Yeah, Brad's there. And him and his, you know his brother, the pharmacist? Asif's brother. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they're just kind of going toward Brad just to say congratulations in the movie. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:44:25 And you did a great job. Chokeslammed. What? What happened? No, they walk up to Brad and then all of a sudden a fucking security guard goes in front of them, they're like, what do you want? Correct.

Starting point is 00:44:33 But in my mind is like, how bold are you, fucker, to even approach the man? Yeah, you don't do that. You don't approach the man? That's what I'm saying. They should have slammed him. They should have body slammed that guy and stepped on their throat.

Starting point is 00:44:43 Yeah, he's like, well, I'm gonna, he's one of those, I'm a part of the business. No, you're not. Yeah, you're not. No, you're absolutely not. That's a part of the business that you're not. You're not. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:52 You're not. You shouldn't even been in the room. Shouldn't even been there. In the building, right? If I, okay, if I see Brad Pitt, this is what I do. That's Brad Pitt, right? I'll go like that. That's him.

Starting point is 00:45:02 That's it. Yeah. To my brother. Here's what I would do. Here's, I'm talking to you at a party and I'm like, well, and then next week we'll have to, I gotta go like that. That's it. That's it. Yeah. To my brother. Here's what I would do. I'm talking to you at a party and I'm like, well, and then next week we'll have to, I gotta go. And I'd leave. Really? Well, you don't want to be around that guy.

Starting point is 00:45:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The presence of that man. The presence of it. Every woman looks at Brad and looks at you and goes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't want to all of a sudden go, boop.

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Starting point is 00:48:37 I'm less threatened by the Butler. Oh really? I'm more threatened by the Brad. I think Butler would have been really kind of more down to earth. Sure, B. Pitts way up there. Yeah, Pitts. He's a God. You know, if Austin had any brains, he would have acted like staff. Then kind of more down to earth. Sure, B. Pitts way up there. Yeah, Pitts. He's a god.

Starting point is 00:48:46 You know, if Ossoff had any brains, he would have acted like Staff. Then you can go up to Brad. Oh. Act like Staff. Go, can I get anything you'd like? He's the right color too. Uh-oh. What?

Starting point is 00:48:55 What? No, you sometimes say it the true way. Sometimes it comes out. I think it's, if I, okay, for instance, right, I've been, every Chinese restaurant when I was a kid, I would literally walk by a table if I go to the bathroom and every time people go, excuse me, can I get the hot, can I get the hot mustard or whatever?

Starting point is 00:49:13 And I'm like 14, I'm like, I don't worry. You'd go get it though, wouldn't you? I would get it, yeah. I'd go, I can't go for nine, you know what I mean? I'll go get it. When he does it, they walk away and the white people are like, look, dude, you can ask anybody, they'll all get it for you.

Starting point is 00:49:24 They feel guilty about it. Yeah, they know you don't work there, they don't care. But I, dude, you can ask anybody, they'll all get it for you. They feel guilty about it. Yeah, they know you don't work there, they don't care. But I, because I just looked the part, that wasn't being racist again, Asif. I just think that a lot of times. Oh, I was kidding. Okay. Yeah. You're totally fine.

Starting point is 00:49:36 Okay, thank you so much. But he goes up to Brad and he sees the movie. Did he say the movie was good? He says it was amazing, but I was more stuck on the nerve of you. Yeah, the nerve of that guy. Right? It's like another thing. It's like when you see like one of your openers

Starting point is 00:49:50 and then they're like, oh, my friend Billy's from out of town. And then Billy tries to hug you. Oh, buddy. Right? Yeah, Billy. What's up, homie? Thanks for helping my friend out. You know what I mean? They do that all the time.

Starting point is 00:50:00 You're like, bro, what is going on? I don't know you, Billy. Yeah. Dude, I was on a flight in my fucking row with Nick Offerman coming back from Budapest. I love him. Didn't even, I didn't even look over. Didn't wanna bother.

Starting point is 00:50:12 I didn't wanna like fucking. Did you say hi? Fuck no. Yeah. I don't know him. And also, what am I gonna say? Hey, I think you're the shit. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:19 And he'll go, okay. Yeah. And I'll go, goodbye. Yeah, yeah. I don't wanna bug that guy. Yeah, I've done this where I'm, so when I was in Budapest too, I was with a couple of actors from Borderlands.

Starting point is 00:50:30 Anyway, and John Krasinski was at the Nobu. Yeah. And so I noticed John, but I was like, I just kinda looked and I go, oh, there's John Krasinski. But then one of my cast mates was like, oh, I did a movie with him. And so she just got up and then she waved me over. That's the move.

Starting point is 00:50:47 And then I walked over and John was super close. Hey, dude, I know you. Yes. That kind of a thing. But you have to have an invite. You have to have an in. And guess what, Asif, Brad Pitt didn't give you an invite. No, no one did. He actually snuck into the F1 premiere. Yeah. There's 20 people. Well, give me 10 people that you don't think you're allowed to approach now.

Starting point is 00:51:06 10? Yeah. Way more than that. I know, but just your time, okay. Okay. Let me give you some names. We can go back and forth. And see, no, I'm gonna give you an estimate to see if they're approachable or not.

Starting point is 00:51:15 Oh, okay. Okay. Are you Tom Hardy? No, not even close. Okay, let's set up the scenario though. Doesn't matter, not doing it. It's a party of 40 people. Oh, even less. Oh really?

Starting point is 00:51:26 Yeah. So Tom or no, Meryl Streep? Nope. Wow. No chance. Yeah, Timothee Chalamet. Timothee, Timothee Chalamet. Only because I know a little French, yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:36 Are you being ready? You would approach him. Oui. Okay. No, I would never. Tom Holland? Nope. Okay.

Starting point is 00:51:43 No way. So nobody? Yeah, you might get there. Jennifer Lawrence? No. Oh, wow. Okay. No way. So nobody. Jennifer Lawrence. No. Oh, wow. Keep going, you might find one. Okay, I will. Okay, let me look.

Starting point is 00:51:51 Josh Peck. I don't want to talk to him. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah, probably. Yeah, because I know. Yeah. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:51:59 I want to think of, oh, I got one. You were about to say middle famous. You were about to say like, you weren't saying, I know what you were doing. You're going, I've done the A's, let's get to the B's. Yeah, let's try that. I get it. Okay, because all the A's are no.

Starting point is 00:52:12 I'm not gonna do any of the A's. Yeah, yeah. Unless I've worked with you. Right. Or your best friend is someone I know very well. William Forsythe. Don't even know him, and I definitely would. Right.

Starting point is 00:52:24 I'd go, Mr. Forsythe, love you to death. Yeah. The kids from Sopranos. Robert Eyler and, yeah, I'd probably say hi to them. Yeah. You know why? They pod. They pod. So that's your angle in.

Starting point is 00:52:37 We have something very in common. Just give me a couple of names. Let me see if I can find one. No, let me see if you would go up to Sydney Sweeney. Since I don't know who she is, I would do it. You don't know who Sydney Sween go up to Sydney Sweeney. Since I don't know who she is, I would do it. You don't know who Sydney Sweeney is? Sydney Sweeney. You know Sydney Sweeney, buddy.

Starting point is 00:52:50 I don't know. Shh, yep. Yeah, what's she in? Euphoria. Euphoria. Never saw her, that's why. I'm going up to her. Oh yeah, and say what? She's an A star and I'm going right up to her.

Starting point is 00:53:00 Yeah, okay. I'm gonna do what Asif should've done. I'm gonna walk right up to her to party and go, how are you ma'am, can I do anything to eat or drink? Yeah. As looking like me though. Yeah, she's very pretty, I'm sure she's very talented. She is very talented.

Starting point is 00:53:14 You know what movie, TV show I had never seen, and I haven't been sleeping because I've been binge-walking, is Oxnard. The city of Oxnard in California? Ozark. Ozark. Oh, so good. They could make that show in Oxnard. The city of Oxnard in California? Ozark. Ozark. Oh, so good. They could make that show in Oxnard, by the way.

Starting point is 00:53:29 Yeah, yeah. Similar. I had never seen it before. How did you not see that? I don't know. It just kind of flew by me. And one night I was so bored. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:53:37 I was on Netflix. I was like, I heard this is okay. So I watched the first one. I didn't sleep for 24 hours. This is crazy. You're just seeing, this is first one. I didn't sleep for 24 hours. This is crazy. You're just seeing, this is such a good show. Yeah, I just burned through it. She is a star to that girl.

Starting point is 00:53:50 Well, she's been, because of the show, she has been for a while now. Wow. Yeah, she gets a lot of work. She was so good in that. East Side Morales. I mean, I just, Laura Linney, everyone's so good, but I never, why don't you guys ever tell me to watch it?

Starting point is 00:54:03 It won Emmys. Everybody talked about it. Yeah, it was one of those things that just kind of flew by me. It was one of the most successful shows in its, I mean, it literally was like a banger hit. Okay, let me ask you this then. Am I gonna be,

Starting point is 00:54:13 because sometimes when you watch a show like Lost, it kind of fades out. It doesn't fade. It doesn't fade. It's good to the last second. Yeah. And the ending, I think the last season is fucking fantastic. Yeah, are my argument against it.

Starting point is 00:54:27 I promise you, you don't know what's coming. But here's my argument against it. Okay. There's no reprieve. Once one problem solved, it's the stress of what they, as a couple have to go through. There's never an episode where like, ugh.

Starting point is 00:54:47 You're about, what season are you on? Just the middle of the second season. You're going to see some things start to change. Okay. You'll see moments of, we know, people that know, no, there's moments of payoff. Yeah, just because at one point you want the people that you like in the show to have some wins.

Starting point is 00:55:03 There's some stuff in there, you'll start to see it. You know what I mean? Because there's no wins right now. I know, but without any of this drama, how could you get through? I've done this, I'm not gonna lie to you. You've done what? I've watched shows where they pass the time

Starting point is 00:55:12 of their moment in the sun. Yeah. And then I'm like. Were you aware of these shows, or you just like, I'm gonna just. I just put it off maybe. Yeah. Like maybe I just wasn't into it at the time.

Starting point is 00:55:23 All right, so what, give me a. I waited for The Wire, I didn't watch The Wire when it came out. time. All right, so what give me I waited for the wire I didn't watch the wire when it came out. Oh, wow. That was a good. I waited Wow I don't know why yeah, I think that was a big one and the other big one was I've never seen an episode I've never seen the episode of friends either never not interested. Yeah, I have one that you're gonna I already said it people know I know but I'm not interested. Yeah, okay. It's a bunch of whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What else is in it?

Starting point is 00:55:46 That's it? Wire? No, the Wire I watched late, the other one I watched late was Stranger Things. I was late to that party. Yeah. I didn't see that when it was coming out. Yeah. That, she was huge.

Starting point is 00:55:57 Yeah. I just didn't give a fuck about kids in the suburbs and chasing ghosts. I was like, I don't know. Good show. It was okay. Yeah, it's okay. Did you- What's her name?

Starting point is 00:56:09 Game of Thrones, you saw Game of Thrones? Drake's wife is in it. Yeah, yeah. So why have you, you saw Game of Thrones? Yeah. Why can't you watch House of the Dragon? Cannot, will not. It's so good.

Starting point is 00:56:19 I felt the same way until I started watching it. No, I don't want to. And maybe like we're talking now, maybe I'll watch it in a couple of years. Yeah, it's a different show, but I'll watch in a couple of years. Yeah. It's a different show, but I think at one point, probably episode seven, I'm like, okay, here we go. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:56:32 In your mind. Seven's a lot. I know. When I watched Oxnard, Here We Go was in the first episode. Ozark. But I like Oxnard. You're right. Oxnard is a city here in California, and you are right.

Starting point is 00:56:45 The Ozarks is- I thought I said Ozard. You did. Okay, I said Oxnard? Who cares? You know what I'm talking about. I do now. Okay.

Starting point is 00:56:53 Yeah. But it happened in the pilot. The first scene, the very first frame is butt clenchingly cool. Yeah. Shot in Chicago, Illinois. And Eastside Morales, there was a point where after Isai did La Bamba and some of his earlier work.

Starting point is 00:57:11 La Bamba. He was in La Bamba. Richie Valens. Richie Valens, yeah, yeah. Ba la ba la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Exactly. Where he would hang out at the store a lot. Really?

Starting point is 00:57:21 Yeah, and that's how I know him. And then he disappeared, like I never, right? But to see him now. Interesting. In huge things, he's such a nice guy. Yeah, he's big. Handsome. Handsome.

Starting point is 00:57:34 Yeah, just a nice person. You ever see Bad Boy with fucking Sean Penn and Isiah Morelos? Mm-mm. Oh my God, a violent prison movie. It's so good. The Sean Penn of it all bothers me. Go to an image.

Starting point is 00:57:50 Maybe that one where they're facing each other. That's cool. Dude, that movie is so good. I've never seen that, boys. I've never seen it. Violent. Because I like the black one. Why don't you like Sean?

Starting point is 00:57:59 Huh? Why don't you like Sean Penn? Oh, he, you know. Have you had a real world? No. Okay. No, no, no. What is it then? I just don't like what I see.

Starting point is 00:58:10 What do you see? His nose? No, he's just like a constant harp about everything, about politics and a global perspective. It's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. You gonna change the world? Yeah, but when Katrina, he went into the Mud River

Starting point is 00:58:23 and tried to save people? Sure he did What? It's all bullshit. You know what this is like when people and actors get on these fucking high horses about saving the fucking world Same way I feel about yesterday. I saw an environmental Police officer an environment. Yeah, look at that. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen He's running come this way and she's barely walking Yeah, yeah, so annoying annoying wow this is by the way this is all performative performative dude this guy it's the worst give me another one this is so funny you ever try to save black people the worst it's

Starting point is 00:58:58 such performative bullshit yeah yeah dude what are you carrying, Rice? Rice. What are you doing? Is that like a part of like a dam? I like how you question it like you don't know. You can smell that from a mile away. Yeah, yeah. You know what's in there. Yeah, well, I thought it was a bag full of AIDS.

Starting point is 00:59:13 Performative AIDS. Yeah. Coming in with the AIDS, heads up. By the way, such performative bullshit. If the camera wasn't there, would he do it? How about this? How about this? Oh my God, this is so funny, dude. Go save the world without cameras.

Starting point is 00:59:25 Exactly. Go do it without press. That's exactly what it is. I think that's what it is. And also that fucking little wound he has on his head, makeup. Makeup. Yeah, yeah, you know he was in the bathroom.

Starting point is 00:59:33 Oh, okay, I got it. I can make it look good. So you're right. When you... Performative bullshit. Right. So when you, like I try to do one thing, nice thing,

Starting point is 00:59:48 and not brag about it a day. You should, that's wonderful. Okay, but once you say, yeah, I just give this homeless guy money, it just takes it away. Takes it away. You could say to me, your friend. I wouldn't even do that. But he's publicizing into the world,

Starting point is 00:59:57 like look at how much of a fucking hero I am. And then he goes, I heard Bill Maher, he went on Bill Maher's and they were going back and forth about it. You know what else I don't like? When you go on TikTok or whatever and you'll see a guy from the Midwest, LA is a shit hole. You know what I mean? Why would it, you know, it's dying. You know what I mean? This and that. And it's like, bro, number one, did you see anything on fire

Starting point is 01:00:20 when you live here? Right? That's only one little section. Yeah, one little. Of one of the biggest cities in the world. Yeah, it didn't exist. I didn't see it. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I can make an argument that I'll give you why LA is better.

Starting point is 01:00:36 Go ahead. Right now? Not right now. But I can. Yeah, I'll top my head. The best Korean food better than in Korea. That's fucking wild. And I know you've said that before, but it's wild.

Starting point is 01:00:50 Okay. And I just discovered a new one that blew the other ones away. Gabon. Gabon. On Western. I gotta take you guys there. Another one is Daedo, a new one.

Starting point is 01:01:03 I wanna save this on my phone. Yeah. Oh, you just text me. I'll text you. Cause I want that. Second thing. The other night, me and Andre Jen board, it's midnight. And we go, let's go to the spa.

Starting point is 01:01:15 Love. Yeah. So her and I are upstairs in the communal one that, and we're just laughing at the clay balls. It's like midnight. We're just laughing. You know what I mean? In the clay ball. In the clay ball. It's like we're just laughing, you know what I mean? In the clay balls.

Starting point is 01:01:26 In the clay balls. You can't do that in fucking Indianapolis. They don't have a spa there. Yeah, a third one, it's like, when we go ugly, we go ugly. And I like that. Go on. What do you mean?

Starting point is 01:01:39 What does that mean? I don't wanna go, because then I have to make references to people that we know and I wanna do that. All right, and I don't get in trouble. But when we go ugly and but when we go hot we go hot. We're hot. Yeah, right we're 45 minutes from the beach depending on where you live. Yeah, right We're a couple hours from skiing. You two hours from skiing. Yeah. Yeah, we have desert situations. Joshua tree

Starting point is 01:02:03 But we have every environment known to man here. That's right. Fourth biggest fucking economy in the world. And we have the beautiful, and we have the mountains. We have the mountains. You go on a go hike, you can go hike. Yeah, give me a positive about LA. You're here.

Starting point is 01:02:17 You too, I should be the normal one. That's my only one that I can even think of. You're the only reason I'm still here. Another thing, comedy clubs. Comedy clubs. From where we live, we're six to 10 minutes away. From everything. From all three of the biggest comedy clubs in LA.

Starting point is 01:02:31 In the world, probably. In the world, yeah. Comedy stores are one of the biggest. Yeah, literally we could just get in the car, 10 minutes later, I'm on stage. That's right. Fucking amazing. That is right.

Starting point is 01:02:42 Yeah, there's just so many things. It reminds me that I like this place when I walk my dog in the morning with coffee. That's probably it for me, truly. Really? Yeah, something about the morning sun with coffee with the dog, and I'm like, well, this isn't everywhere, and this is like this every day.

Starting point is 01:02:53 Every day. Every day. Yeah. And someone's like, don't you get tired of that? Isn't it Groundhog Day? Yeah. Like, did you watch that movie? It was pretty good.

Starting point is 01:03:01 Yeah, pretty good. It's pretty cool. He got to, you know, he got to do whatever he wants. Now, if Hawaii had three major comedy clubs, I might do, that's the only place I would go, I couldn't live there. I'll say this, if Hawaii had even two major, even one major comedy club,

Starting point is 01:03:15 and no Hawaiians, I would love it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No locals. Yeah. I do love Hawaii. I love it too, dude. Oh, so we gotta do a show there. Mm-mm.

Starting point is 01:03:28 Please. No, I'll think about it. Here's why I don't wanna do a show there. That's like where we go to escape. Mm, interesting. There's something about that that I'm like, oh, I don't wanna do that there. Mm, interesting.

Starting point is 01:03:41 It's like, I, you know, it's like- It's our excuse to go, though. It can be, but it you know, it's like- It's our excuse to go though. It can be, but it's almost like, it's why I don't like fucking in the shower. I get clean in there. I don't want to get- There's certain places you've had that sex in, like roller coaster.

Starting point is 01:03:55 Never fucked on a roller coaster. You have? Yeah. No chance. I've gotten a blow job on a Ferris wheel. That's good. That's kind of a roller coaster-y. That's a roller coaster motion maybe. Yeah, slow, but- Up and down, I don't know. Ferris wheel. That's good. That's kind of a roller coaster. That's a roller coaster motion maybe.

Starting point is 01:04:05 Yeah, slow but- Up and down, I don't know. Ferris wheel goes around. Yeah. That was up and down. That was up and down. Where's the weirdest place you ever hooked up? I'll tell you why.

Starting point is 01:04:15 What? Well, tell me why you did it too. I'll tell you why what. I was, my first girlfriend, her name was Jennifer. I remember. You do? No. Yeah, and so I was working at a restaurant, her name was Jennifer. I remember. You do? No. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:27 And so I was working at a restaurant called the Brockton Villa. Love the Brockton. It's in La Jolla. I know where it is. And still there. Slammed lunches and breakfast. And I had a big section that day.

Starting point is 01:04:38 I'm talking about like 12 tables. I was running around like a little chicken, right? And then the host comes up to me, she goes, your girl's here. Your girlfriend's here. I go, what? It's like run to the host and I go, what are you doing here? She said, I just, I know, but I'm slammed. She's like, what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:04:57 I go, okay. So she met me at the back bathroom. Like there's an outside entrance when you go out. There's a bathroom at the back of the thing, right? Slant. I'm memorizing, who needs ketchup? Coffee refills, right? But I'm also going pop, pop, pop, right? How fun. It was so fun. In the bathroom.

Starting point is 01:05:15 In the bathroom. That's gotta be so fun. When you guys wait at tables, you have to memorize so much shit, then. Yeah. I hate it. That's the worst. Yeah. My brother purposely sticks, have you seen my brother's thumbs before this disgusting? Yeah Yeah, it's a creature in the food. He purposely put it in the omelet or whatever when he's delivering

Starting point is 01:05:33 And he says I'll tell you what it makes the resentment go away and I get it right. You mean I'm serving you food Yeah, if you treated me poor, I'm sticking my thumb in your arm. Correct. And this thumb was in my butt Yeah, this thumb was definitely in my butt. I put my thumb in my butt. You don't do that? Some people suck on their thumb too long. I've never put any fingers in my butt. Shut up. You've never put a finger in your butt? Someone else has. I've tasted my cum. Yeah, that's, that's word.

Starting point is 01:06:02 Okay. I never have. It's not because I don't wanna admit to it, it's just I haven't done it. Why? Brother. Don't brother me when you say but, dude. Don't brother me, dude. You gotta come to the dark side, pal. What's the purpose?

Starting point is 01:06:18 There's something in there. What, like a? And you gotta get it out. Get in there. Hey. Yeah. You know how sometimes in Super Mario, there was like that hidden thing that you had to go find? That's what's in your ass. Really?

Starting point is 01:06:35 Go get that star. It's in there. Okay. All right. If you had a state- And then Mario music kicks in when you're in there too. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. That too. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. That one?

Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Wow. When I'm jerking off and I put a finger in my butt, I go, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And then when I find the spot I'm talking about, it goes, boodle, boodle, boodle, boodle.

Starting point is 01:06:58 Yeah, yeah. Wow. I'll try tonight. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, yeah. Wow. I'll try tonight. I'll try tonight. You got me. Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. Wow. I take my finger out and it goes.

Starting point is 01:07:10 Your wife's like, what are you doing in there? Honey, I gotta go to the bathroom. That's so funny. That's so funny. Tomorrow music is so funny. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Starting point is 01:07:18 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Your wife's like, what are you doing in there? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Woo, yeah! Woo, yeah!

Starting point is 01:07:50 Woo, yeah!

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