Bad Friends - We Win the Podcast Wars

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

New Merch Out Now! badfriendsmerch.com  Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/badfriends & https://www.bucherbox.com code: badfriends &  https://www.BLUECHEW.com code: badfriends & https://www.bespokepost.com code: badfriends  Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTubeAudio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com  0:00 Fancy B Kidnaps Chris Distefano 3:00 KATS Will Pay for Steebee Diss 9:00 Andrew and Bobby Confront Nick from KATS 16:40 The Crew Sniffs Smelling Salts 23:40 Happy Birthday Fancy B 24:32 Atlanta  27:24 Catch the Eskimo 34:00 The Colombia Necktie 37:34 Bobby and Andrew Sing Their Hearts Out 48:00 Bad Friends Eats Cake 50:46 Rudy Guesses Famous Movie Lines 1:00:17 Bobby and Andrew Talk about Movies Rudy Should See More Chris Distefano Hey Babe Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/c/NoPreshNetwork Chrissy Chaos: https://www.youtube.com/user/chrisdcomedy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy More Bobby Lee  TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleeliveTickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino  Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino   Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com  More Bad Friends  iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/    Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod    Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/  Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sundayCredit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom   Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymylesBad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast  Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joseph Faria, Andrés Rosende  This video contains paid promotion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, well, well. You mother- You think you can come to my house, talk to my boys like that, send us Oh, you don't know us. No. No, please no. I said please no. I get citizenship. You are going to get it.

Please, I'm sorry. I won't call ICE. P.E. This one. That was Andrew. Oh, it tastes like whiskey and soy sauce. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Why do you think I'm an Asian dude? You two are disgusting. If you haven't heard about anchor, it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool.

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Clap the boat. Clap the boat. Clap the boat. Clap the boat. Clap the boat. Clap the boat. Starring Alexandra Ocaccio. Clap the boat.

Directed by Jose Archnold. Where do you get a name like Archnold from? I don't know. Where did you get that from? Where does Archnold even come from, Jules? She just improvised. That's her, you know. I have a lot to talk about today, man.

All right. Line it up. What do you got? Well, let's... You want to start or are we starting? We started at Clap the Boat. Clap the Boat. Listen.

Number one, I have to yell at Jules first. Yeah, please. Okay. Please, please, please. So today I go... We're driving up here. I go... How's school?

She goes... It's okay. I go, okay. What'd you learn? She goes, I didn't go. That's why I was okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was good because I wasn't there.

I go, why? She goes, I slept. Yeah, I slept in. Oh, you missed it. And then yesterday she missed. Did, really? Yeah, and they wrote emails to Kalyla and her grandparents. And they haven't gotten it yet.

Yeah, well, that's because the pigeons... Yeah, that's a far away to fly. No, her grandmother's in my house right now. Oh, what do you mean? I thought they were in the Philippines. They don't live in the Philippines. No. Kalyla's parents, mom.

Who lives in the Philippines still? Your parents. Her mom. Oh. Yeah, her mom doesn't give a fuck. If they wrote your mom a letter saying you're skipping school, what would your mom say? She doesn't care. Well, tell me what she would say.

She wouldn't say anything. God damn it. You want her to make shit up? That's what the show is. Yeah. That's the whole show. So, 57 weeks you've been here, kid. What are you doing?

So, I don't want to... I don't even know. I was thinking about not bringing this up, but I just can't help myself because it pissed me off. Okay. What's something that Jules did? No, something that Theo and Brendan Shaw did. A HPA.

Can I tell you what happened? Of course. All right. You know my brother, Steve, right? 100% love Stevie Weeby. Everyone loves Steve. You love my brother? Yeah.

Good kid. Right? Does that have a car? Killer piano player. Doesn't have a car. Lives in a nice, little cozy apartment. Yeah. Cool dog.

Yeah. Cool bed. Cool bed. I like your brother. Yeah, I love my brother. Yeah. And so, my brother released an album. He's a musician.

Yeah, it's from my pops. Oh, to my pops. No, he has a new one. Oh, that just came out. Just came out. Oh, nice. So he wants to, you know, promote it. Right on. So last week, fighter the kid, they reach out to him. Not fighter the kid, the King of the Sting. Oh, yeah. I know. Don't roll your eyes. I did it. I did it. I'm gonna say that again. I'm gonna say that again. I didn't roll my eyes. I don't, don't roll your eyes. Okay. King of the Sting. I know. You can't help it. I get sorry. Yeah, I know me. So, um, so my brother excited. It's a pretty big show for him. It's a huge show. That show is huge album. Yeah. So my brother doesn't have a car. So they reached out to him, by the way. Right. He doesn't know them. Right. They hid their producer, Nick. Yeah, Nick. Right. You know, Nick. Yeah. Right. Goes, Hey, you know, reaching out. So Tuesday and my brother goes, it's a little early. Can you tell me what's going on? Can you, can I just come a little later? No, Theo's only in town this amount of time. Yeah. It's gotta be 11 or whatever it might be. Right. And my brother goes, Oh, you know what? This is a great opportunity for me. I will be there even an hour and a half early. That's a little absurd. Well, he couldn't get a ride. See, the only ride that he could get. What about Uber? No. He doesn't have that. He doesn't have Uber. No. He also has a thing with money. What is it? What's the thing? My brother has a little thing with money. What's the thing with money? It doesn't have enough of it? No. He used to be like, if I was like, Hey, we're at Starbucks and I don't have my fucking credit card. I'd be like, Hey, can I get a, you know, a venti? Can you buy me a venti, you know, double drink, right? Express over ice. My brother goes, I'll just get you a grande. You know what I mean? He's that type of guy. But he's right. You don't need a venti. I know, but it's like, you know, it's always like, you know, if we're at a restaurant, right? And I'm like, you know, I'll have the main course book. My appetizer, my brother will just go to the waiter. No, no appetizer.

He's right. Because I'm paying for it. He's trying to save you an extra calories. No, I'm on Stevie's side. Good job, Stevie Bibi. Keep those calories out of Bobby's body. He's that type of guy. Yeah. But he's changing. He's better at about it now. But anyway, so he, he has a friend, some poor guy, you know what I mean? Who has like, you know, a windowless Honda Civic from, you know, 1986, who fairly runs, right? How does it not have windows? It just has 70 windows. Picks them up, right? You know what I mean? 7 in the morning. My brother hasn't slept, by the way, because he's so excited, by the way. Yeah. Right. So he, they go to, you know where it is, Encino. It's forever away. From where my brother is. It's the other side of the world. It could have, it's Colorado. Right. All right. So my brother is excited on the freeway. And they're playing like, you know, they're playing hip hop. Right. And they're probably waving their arms like this. Cause they just don't care. They don't care. So they show up early and they go, you know what, let's not go there directly. Let's go to Jamba Juice to celebrate. I get it. You get it, right? You want juice. You want sweet grass. You want sweet grass. Right. So they drink the Jamba Juice. And the guy, the buddy goes, you know, hey man, I got shit to do. So I just drop you off there. And my brother goes, all right. So my brother goes to the building, that white building. Oh, where they, where they shoot. Where they shoot. Right. The guy drives away. Okay. All right. Also, there was some sort of like argument. I don't know exactly what happened. There was an argument about with the parking attendant and my brother, they almost got in a fist fight. Can I tell you how crazy this is? Him and I got into an argument when I was there last. That guy. When I did, when I did Theo show, that guy yelled at me.

That's what I, my brother says, he, his, I didn't like his tone. He was like, you can't, you can't park here. I was like, well, I'm here for one of the, someone that's here. He goes, you can't. Yeah. Well, why? You cannot park here. Okay. Okay. Well, I said, I'll go get somebody. I had to go get Nick. Nick had to come out and go, Nick, you know, he's, oh, hey, hey, he's on the show. You know, and then he, I've never had a problem with that. Anyway. No, I love him. So my brother goes and goes up to the, gets in the building. Yeah. Locked. Doors locked. Yeah. Yeah. Nox locked. He waits. It's 11. No one's there. Nox. No one's there. He calls. No one's picking up. Nobody. Nobody. Then he's a little worried. Then finally he gets a hold of Nick. And my brother goes, hey, man, um, hey, dude, so I came early and, you know, I'm here for the King and Sting. And he goes, who's this? My brother goes, Steve, Steve Lee. And he goes, oh, fuck, I forgot. We forgot. You forgot? We forgot. What did you forget? What did you forget about him? Completely. Not the episode. Forgot. Wow. Right. So then keep talking. I'm listening.

Were you bombed? No, I'm pissed off. Yeah, yeah. My brother's like, no, my brother's hurt more than anything because he feels like, you know, nobody, he's, he's always been, my brother's always been like, I keep telling him not to compare his life to my, you know, I'm a comedian. I'm a comedian is different, but it's like he doesn't, he wants respect. Well, yeah, everybody deserves respect. He wants respect and he was to be acknowledged. Yeah. You know what I mean? As a human being. Yes. Right. So my brother just cried. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It broke. It broke him. Hold on. I'm really mad. Like furious. Good. Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, what's going on? Hey, man, you're on, you're on the show. We're recording you. I just want to let you know upfront be candid with you, but I got to tell you, but it is not going good. The first 15 minutes, Bobby has been just losing his mind. He's been yelling because something about his brother and you guys didn't get him on the show and he's freaking the fuck out right now. He's mad. What happened? Man, I can ask you a question. Hold on. Okay, Bob. All right, go ahead. Why do you disrespect me and my family? Like, are we, no, honestly, like when you look at other comedians, you probably respect them and you respect their time.

But when you look at me, is it because I'm not funny to you or is it because I don't have the respect in the comedy community? I don't know what the fucking the deal is, bro. That's my brother, bro. I know. And it's like he doesn't have money. He fucking got his way out there. And he's not about money. He doesn't want his money, dude. It's it's about when he knocked on that door and you guys weren't there. My brother fucking cried, bro. It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful. And it's like, I'm just asking you, is it did I do anything personally to you to hurt you in any kind of way, because it just seems like a fucking slam on me, my career, who I am as a person.

And I fucking have tears right now, too, dude. It's disrespectful, bro. So can you explain yourself? There's no explanation except that I fucked up. Theo and Brendan had nothing to do with it. I booked him. We moved the show up because Theo didn't come back from Nashville. I could not feel worse. This is not that ingest at all. What about what about how about this? What about a phone call? What about a fucking phone call to my brother going, hey, my bad, Theo's not in town, so we're going to move this date. That's what was supposed to happen. So what is it about my brother that you didn't fucking do that? Nothing about your brother. We are excited to have him on. I hope we really seem that's exciting because let me say something right now.

If it was fucking Tom Hardy, that wouldn't have fucking happened. I don't know. I'm pretty dumb. Oh, all right. Well, you know, I mean, I'm kidding, dude. Nick, we're just fucking around. Everything's fine. It's an accident. We're fucking around. Nick, this is what I want. Nick, this is what I want. All right. I'm going to say this right. You have to book him again. You got to book him again because my brother is trying to fucking promote his album. And it's like it hurt him. He did cry, but my point is that he did. But I already talked to Theo and Brendan. I already know it was your fault.

This morning, they already said it was your fault. Wait a minute. Are you taking the fall, Nick? Are you taking the fall? Is it actually one of their faults and you're taking the fall for them? I hope it's out here. This is your opportunity to blow them up if it needs to be honest. I'm king of the thing till I die. It was all on me. I fucked up. He's caught in a trap. He's falling on the sword right now. The whole plan was to have him to divide and conquer with you guys.

So, of course, I didn't want to fuck it up and not have him on. Oh, they're trying to wedge in between our relationship. I see. We're going to wind and dine seedy. Yeah, well, you know what? Wow. Nick, how about this? You got to have him on.

You got to promote him and he's going to have a really weird request. I'm not going to tell you what it is, but you have to adhere to it. Promise me you'll adhere to the request. I don't think your friend and are coming at his podcast. That was his one request. No, no, no, no. That's no, no, no. When he comes there, I'm saying. Oh, wait. So you're saying to me, oh, Theo has already done my brother's podcast. He did. Yeah. And it's incredible. Here's what I want, Nick.

Okay. This is what I want. Yeah. And this will show me, you know, how you feel about me personally. Yeah. Number one, the next, I need my brother on King and the Sting within the next month. Yeah. That's number one. If Theo is even.

No, it's got to happen. Number two, you get him an Uber. Okay. Yeah. You pick him up. That seems like a nice, in fact, no, you have to pick him up personally, Nick. You got to pick him up personally. Yeah. To show you how long it took him to drive from where he lives to the place and back. All right.

You have to travel those miles. Do him right, Nick. Just let me finish. Right. And you got to get frank and head. You have to get frank and head on my brother's podcast. I'm actually not familiar, but I'll do some digging. Okay.

We love you, Nick. Thank you for doing it. We will handle all those requests, but not because we're given to terrorists because I just feel that bad. Nick? Nick? Skating on some thin ice. It's water. Are your feet wet, Nick?

Because you're in some deep shit right now. So let me tell you one more thing, Nick. Can I tell you something? Yeah. All right, I'll hang up on him. Good. It was really fun. It really shook me a little bit. I'm not going to lie.

Honestly, I'm not going to lie. It was really good. How did you feel? I felt sad for him. I was going to go worse. I know, and I'm glad you didn't. A piece of me was like, Bobby, relax. I was about to go like, you know what I mean?

You don't know my lawyers. I was going to go lawyers. How deep I go into show business and all that kind of stuff. You can tell he is full-on panicked. That was really fun. Nick, good dude. Nick, great dude. And really let it slip. I mean, talk about...

He really was apologetic, though. He was very honest. I loved how scary he was. You know why that is? Because the way that we are with our staff, with Fancy and with Newby PDPDPD, who you haven't made fun of yet, we do need to make fun of Pete.

A very odd looking man, by the way. Let me say, my disrespect for him, I don't even know who he is. I think that should say a lot. When I see him, I go, I don't know who that is. I don't want to introduce myself. But he's a guy that I've seen before here, right? He's been around here for a couple of weeks.

I think I vaguely. Bobby texted me and said, hey, I'm going to be 10 minutes late. Is Andres already there? I said, yeah, Fancy's here. And he goes, what about Paul? And I said, Pete is here, too. I said Paul.

What's your last name? Who cares? He has a present for you guys. Fuck you. What's your present? Pete, what is your last name so we have it? What is your last name, PD? Forson?

Forson. What is that? What does he got? He's got a gift for us. Oh my God. Have you ever tried these? It's like what athletes use before games. They put them under their nose and they...

It like shocks your body. All right, go ahead. Can you die from these? No. No, and then we all die. Have you ever seen it? What do you do? You have to crack them, right?

Crack it open. Crack it open. Crack it open. Crack it open. Crack it open, and then sniff it and they wake up. Yeah, you use it to wake up. We do it at the same time? No.

Why not? One at a time. Ok, so, Jules, go ahead. Ok. You crack it like that, and then you sniff it. It says crush here, it has a little dot where you

push your fingers and snap it in half. there is it that bad is that bad really I think I'll die if that's what did that she's a young woman wait a minute what what did it smell like piss smells like piss sounds like this you go for next I don't really want to do it you have to do it what do you do you sprake it and put it up oh I'm not doing it I'm not doing it I'm not doing it I'm not doing it I can't do it whoa what is it it smells like piss it really it smells like hot I gotta try

like a hot hit of piss right in your mouth already cool you get a good sniff you can't avoid it put it up near your face go oh my god whoa oh my god that was intense smells like fucking oh my god I love it why is mine red mine's red too oh oh my god now I have the smell of my nose how do I get the smell out of my nose I love it it's ammonia oh my god it's so good you want another one yeah okay oh my god that's so good you want one Jules no wait wait we want I want Andres to do it too you gotta do one get in here and do one oh my god I was so good they're kind of fun it's fun I want you to come do one that was

intense all right hold on you sit in my chair sit in my chair do it do it yeah yeah wow that was good do it while we sing happy birthday to you ready yeah okay one two three happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday to you oh my god no no no no no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a fun thing it's such a nice a fancy cake for fancy b happy birthday fancy be better how you know Andrew um during this pandemic this is the thing that really got me through yeah it really is it's like you know I never really had therapy before this. And this is a really good service here.

It is. I really do believe in it. Bob and I have spoken about mental health on the show before and we genuinely believe in it. I genuinely do promote this. It's so easy because it is really good. You get your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating in under 48 hours. It's not a crisis line. That's self-help. It's professionally counseling done securely online. Yeah. There's a broad range of expertise, you guys. And they pair you up with someone, but it doesn't mean you need to stay with them. You can switch to somebody else to find the best fit for you. BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today.

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get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Bad Friends. Butcher Box. You know, my freezer, Andrew. Yes. Is filled with Butcher Box. Filled with me. This is all I eat. Yeah. You know, I eat vegetables and Butcher Box meat. Yeah. Well, that's all you need is veggies and meat, baby. That's what you got to do. I have... I've eaten all my Butcher Box. I'm waiting for them to send some more because I'm a fatty, fatty, and I like eating as much as I possibly can. Each month, if you sign up for Butcher Box, each month they send a box of high quality meat for a better price than the grocery store. It really is better.

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Oh my God. That's the Lotto. That's two pounds of ground beef in every box for the life of your subscription. Just go to butcherbox.com slash- Bad friends. That's butcherbox.com slash- Bad friends. Oh, if you can still, if you still keep smelling it, it's still in it. Is it? Yeah. Is that a crack a new one? Double down. No, no, no. I'm not gonna double. This is good, right? Smell it. You like it. I kind of like it. It's ammonia. It smells like, it's ammonia. Oh my God. That's so good. Happy birthday, fans. Happy birthday, fans. Fans, how old are you, baby? Oh my God. Do you guys want to guess? Oh, yeah.

The jewels first. 36. That's a pretty good guess. That's a pretty good guess, because I was gonna go, I'm gonna say 35. 38. 41. Wow. Fancy is old. Yeah. Yeah. You look good for 41, fans. Yeah. I don't look like George. You don't what? Look like George. George is haggard. Yeah. By the way, George, when he has a baby, I guarantee you he's gonna look so much worse when he comes in here. Oh, he's gonna look like, yeah. He already doesn't sleep. He already has anxiety. He already threw the roof with like- He doesn't look like Mitch McConnell. What if he gets really fat? I would love it if George got fat. Yeah. You know what I mean? If he plumped up. I do want to address, and it's probably, I know there's a comedy podcast, but

I do have to address that, um, the Atlanta shootings. I mean, because you had, you know, an uptick of Asian Americans being assaulted, you know what I mean? In the American streets, right? It was at a 500% uptick. I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah. And then, um, you know, and, you know, old men are being shoved to the ground. I think a couple people died. And then now you have this mass shooting. But get this, it wasn't, they're saying that it wasn't a hate crime. Do you know why? Do you know why he killed them? I literally know almost nothing about it because it just happened. This is what he said. He goes, I'm mad because I have a sexual addiction. So it's a sex crime? I don't know. I don't get it. It's not a hate crime because he has a sex

addition, but he killed one kind of people. No, because he goes to brothels all the time. He went to massage parlors. Okay, time out. I love this. What are you mad at me for? No, no, no, no. I'm just- I didn't do anything. No, I'm saying the justification of something made me feel good because somebody told me about it today. I wasn't on the new, I wasn't on my phone almost all day today doing anything. Yeah, yeah. And somebody told, told me about it. And I said, wait, seriously? And they were like, yes, I'm crazy fucking dude. I guess shot up, you know, a bunch of spas and massage parlors. Yeah. Or was it one or a few? Three. Three. Right. And he said, shout up a few. And I was like, whoa. And then I immediately said, is it like those kind of

massage parlors? And the person that told me was like, why the fuck would you say that? I was like, no, I mean, you know what I mean? Those kind of CD massage parlors that have sexual things. So my instinct wasn't far off. That's why he would go to these places and get sexual favors. And then he was, he was angry about his addiction. So he took it. So I was right. Right. But it was sexual driven. Right. But I knew it. There's so many different things you do, I think. I don't know. I might be wrong. And not all those massage parlors give out sexual favorites. Not only that, but they're known for that a lot of CD ones. Exactly. And in my mind, I mean, I'm not a, you know, a sociologist or, you know, a psychologist, but I would think

or a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist or there'd be a couple of things you would do before murder, like maybe jerk off. Yeah, jerk off. Yeah, jerk off. Jerk off. Jerk off. Right. Read a book. There's so many different things. That guy's not going to read a book. Okay. No, fuck the book. Right. What was that? What was that? I just coughed. Why? Because my throat was kind of itchy. In the middle of this real serious thing. It's so crazy. We're doing this. We're trying to be responsible and be respectful. You know, it's insane. It's like, and also it just brings back like how hard it was for me. You know, I don't, I try not to think about it because I have, my life is so good right now, but it's like, you know, it was hard for me

as a kid. You know what I mean? When kids threw ice, when I was in Minnesota, I used to throw ice at my head and go, get him Eskimo. Right. And I remember running, you know what I mean? And they're throwing like shards of ice at my face. I remember catching the Eskimo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or like, you know, what an insane, they would do that? Yeah. Yeah. Or one kid, one kid, right? I was at the best stop. I was living in Minnesota. Did you ever yell back? I'm Korean. No, you don't know, because I thought maybe I was. You know what I mean? If they're accusing me of it. I'm the Eskimo. I'm a kid. I don't even know what an Eskimo is. Yeah, I guess. Right. So I'm going, I don't know what it is, but I don't want

shards of ice on my face. I remember one time like I was at the bus stop and a kid put bird food on my head. Why? I'll tell you why. At first I was like giggling because I thought this guy never really pays attention to me. Right. And all of a sudden, black crows started pulling my hair in my backpack. Right. No, I'm not kidding you. Was this a Pixar movie? And then we flew away up into the sky. I don't play away. But I remember doing this. And then I remember that night my dad took my backpack because I was explaining him that put bird food on my head. And I sort of got this one my dad got. Then you have to do this. Then he goes, you have to do this. And he took the backpack and he started swinging around like this. Right. And then it broke our fucking chandelier.

I remember him doing that. He teach you how to fight back. Yeah. He goes, you let them do that. But then you have to take the backpack and the bird and you have to do this. Right. And he doesn't got. Not fight the kids. Fight the birds. Fight the birds. Right. But I remember all that crazy shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. And as a kid, you you you dealt with a lot of shit. You you go through every moment. You deal with it. And you know, for me, it's like I didn't deal with it in a you know, violent way to get angry. I didn't show song we at the guy that showed up Virginia Tech. You know, I just kind of went, I'm going to use humor as a defense mechanism. Totally. But some people are crazy. Here's the problem though. You're talking rational about an irrational person.

This guy killed people for no other reason than he's a he's a nut bag. It's not because look, a part of it may be a racial problem, right? Obviously. The other part of it is he's sick. He's mentally sick. He's unwell. Something's wrong with him. He targeted Asian people. Right. Yes, it's a hate crime. On top of that, he the machine's broken. It's fucked up. Something's really wrong. I mean, the only what what honestly, yeah, what would drive you to murder? Like, for instance, if somebody murdered anybody I love. All right. So if you hurt someone I love, if you if you murdered my parent, my parents, my sister, if you did anything to my family, I would forgive. I would I would stop nothing to kill you and I'd have your and I would walk

around town with your head like this. Yeah. Yeah. I just like anybody who hurts my family, I would do that in a heartbeat. Like in medieval times, your house would have like spikes with heads on 100% of the front. Yeah. Yeah. If you try to attack my family, medieval times, like you killed my brother. Yeah, I'm going to kill your entire family and anybody you know, it's too and I'm putting your yeah, you asked. No, what I'm saying to you is this, all right, let's suppose in medieval times, here I am, right, you're in a kingdom or whatever. Yeah, I'm in Ireland. Right. And I'm in China. I don't know where I don't know. Let's say I lived in Ireland to make you an Irish guy. And my brother Steve, who's just, you know, ah, Stevie

Weeby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My brother Steve kills your brother. Yeah. Okay. And I'm and I'm like, when I find out about it, I go, what the fuck did you do, Steve? Like I'm bummed about it. Right. Right. But then all of a sudden you would kill me and my own family. Correct. Guilty by association. Guilty by association. That's not right though. Think about that. Remember in high school, we had the athletic code, the athletic rule of code was if I was at a party and I wasn't drinking, even if I wasn't drinking or doing drugs, if it got busted, I got suspended from basketball because I was there. But I say I'm sorry as I'm driving a spear through your head. Right. I'm sorry. But you know, but you know, what really cheers me up

when I watch, because I watch a lot of court stuff on, you know, like the craziest court, you know what I mean, cases, right? And the ones that always get me, and this sounds so cheesy, is when like, you know, a serial killer kills a man's daughters, like two daughters. And the man does his like, what do you call it, his deposition, but he does a testimony at the end. Sure. He gets a chance to talk. And he looks at the killer and he goes, I just want to say I forgive you and I love you, man, and you're my brother. What? Yeah, when they forgive. Never. No, I'm just saying, I never you killed my kids. No, no, no, stop. I'm just saying, I'm not saying you're in the fucking video. I'm just saying I am now when I see the videos and when they when they forgive, it makes

me really emotional. Pass. No, thanks. Well, then you're not involved. There's so much hate there. Are you kidding me? Anger. You kill my family. Of course, I'm going to I'm going to do everything in my power to kill you. I'm not saying that I would fucking forgive them either. I'm just saying you said you want to watch the YouTube videos when they go look at the guy and they go, I forgive you, man. Insane. I always cry. That's all I'm saying. That's insane people. What would you do, Jules? Same as you. Yeah, thank you. See, my girl, my girl. Torture. Torture first. Torture first. She is the fucking best. With what knives? Yeah, like, peel them off and then cut their balls and dicks. Yeah, you'd peel their balls and dicks. And then their nails. I'll take the nails off. That's

dope. That's dope. And teeth. And teeth. And teeth. And teeth. You're going to take the teeth. Yeah, one by one, though. One by one. And then the eyes. And the eyes. How do you scoop out the eyes? My hands. Oh, hands. You don't use a utensil when you. Not a spoon. Yeah. What else? Maybe their ears. Oh, yeah. Slowly sever their ears. Leave the ears. Leave the ears. Cut off there and go, you hear me now. Yeah. See, I knew you'd be on my team. If somebody hurt someone in your family, you would stop at nothing to get them, right? That's right. How can you forgive that? Because my brother is a snapperhead, too. You know what I mean? My brother is a snapperhead. And my brother, like, I was, whenever, like, when I found out about the women that were murdered today,

or yesterday, that was my mother. Come on. My brother, I wouldn't even, I would be so scared. You would call the cops and go, you have to get him. Yeah, I would be so scared. My brother would go into a red zone and I don't know what he would do. See, that's what I'm saying. You need people like you and you need people like us. You need to exist. You think I'm a pansy, then? It's not a pan. Don't do that. Don't do that. No. No, I want to know. You view things differently. You're more balanced. What's a Colombian necktie? I don't know. Andres has got to know. He laughed about it. You know what a Colombian necktie is? No. I think it's this. It's a torture device? No. A Colombian necktie is cutting. It's a form of postmodern mutilation in which a victim's tongue

is pulled through a deep, oh my God. Through their neck. So it looks like a, it's pulled through a deep cut beneath the jaw and the dangling neck. Oh my God. Yeah, it's a Colombian necktie. It appeared in Colombia during the period known as La Valencia, which is a city here in Southern California, La Valencia, as a method of psychological warfare and designed to scare and intimidate. So they pull your tongue through your throat and neck, throw your throat. Whoa, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. You know what I would do? I would do, I would make up one called the tail. And you take a guy's dick, right? You shove him this way. Behind you. Yeah, tuck it behind you. Yeah. No, through the body. Oh. Right through the inside out. Oh, yeah. It's

inside out. And you stick it out of the ass, right? So the guy's dead with a little fucking, you know what I mean, bloody inside dick out of his asshole. And they would know it was me. They was. It was Bob. Oh my God. That was Bob. That's probably the tailgiver. Yeah, the tailgiver. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about, I'm thinking about like, what would be a good thing to keep out of the human body if I like was proud of it and I want to show off. I think she said the eye is very, that's very, that's very. But how do you, you, what you, I don't, a dried eyeball would disintegrate. You don't got a mason jar. You throw it in a mason jar. Oh, you just have jars or like a fucking witch around your fucking heart. I have mason jars at my home. You don't have a

mason jar. No, not full of fucking human eyeballs. I, that's where one would go. Yeah. Because you could go get embalming fluid. You can legally get embalming fluid. Yeah. And you would just put it in there and preserve it. Maybe like shrunken head. Does that take a long time? I mean months, I guess. How long does that take? I always love shrunken heads. You know, because you have the whole thing. Yeah, it's right there. But it's smaller. It's like... How long does it take to shrink a head? The shrinking process doesn't take long at all. The ritual side of things, on the other hand, would usually total about six days. For the head to shrink, they would be boiled for only about two hours, boiling it for too long would leave it and ended up gooey and destroyed.

Yeah. Go to an image of a shrunken head. Imagine you got to set a timer for the head to boil. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Let's see. Yeah, like I would do that. That's like a real head. Yes, it is, unfortunately. Yeah, it certainly is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, with shrunken head. Don't you think we would do that? Yeah. That's why, because if you had like, you mean a tooth, right, you could get that anywhere, right? People would be like, that's not it, but that wasn't the whole fucking head. Undeniable. It's like, I did that. Yeah, there's no way you can make that. And look, it's Charlie, right? Because he has like a mole, right? That is such a gross photo. That's insane. Let me see the other ones. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Keep going down. Keep going down.

Keep going down. Oh, like that one, that one to the right, to the right, that one. That's incredible. That's not it. Is that a shrunken head? It says it right there. Oh, my God. Oh, they drew on it. You're right, right, right, they did. Oh, you can draw on it. It's like an arch and craft. Oh, right. Yeah. It's like the pottery thing where you color me mine. Yeah, looks cool, man. That's gross. Let's get out of this. This is grossing me out so much. Crack open a new one, kid. Yeah, this one lost its edge. That's a new one. Crack open a new one, please. It kind of stings a little bit. Oh, it wakes you up. You know, have you been catching up with The Voice or American Idol? I watched Last Chance You last night instead. What's that?

Oh, my God, so good. It's about community college. The original one was about community college football players who get pushed out of big D1 schools because of their behavior or their academics. And this is kind of like their last chance at getting back to a big university. And they do one here in East LA, East LA Community College. And these stories will break your soul. Next week is Hollywood Week on American Idol because all the auditions just ended and next week, Hollywood Week starts. So I'm excited about that. Why don't we audition for American Idol? Because I can't sing, you fucker. Yeah, we can. No, we can't. Yeah, we can. Not at that level. Try. Okay, try. We're gonna get lyrics. I don't even know lyrics to that. Ready?

We should make Jules sing again. We miss when she sings. It's my favorite. Jules, bring up a song. There she goes. Nice. Watching the time roll away. I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting time. That's really good. Are you singing one? That was really good. Okay. It was. You ready for mine? Yeah, go ahead. Be as cool, real, like you're really auditioning. Okay. So let me let me because I watch the shows all the time. There's gonna be the judge. Okay. Hi. What's your name? Hey, I'm Andrew. Hi, Andrew. Where you from? 37. Tell me about yourself, man. How long you've been singing? Yeah, I'd love to be. I'm glad I'm here. I know about how long you've been singing. I'm nervous

in front of you, Lionel Richie. This is my first time in some kind of show. All right, all right, all right, buddy. We're last. Calm down. We've all been in this place. You haven't. You've been so good since you were born. That's funny, pal. So what are you gonna be singing for us today? Today, I'm gonna be singing and not. Today, I'm gonna be singing. It's not an original song, sir. But it is my favorite song and inspired me to become a singer myself. Okay, well, let's hear it. Okay, okay. I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down. Thank you. Thank you. Can I just do the... No, thank you. He drinks a whiskey drink.

He drinks a vodka drink. Security. He drinks a lager drink. Security. He drinks a cider drinks. He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. Andrew and Andrew. He sings the songs that remind him of the best times. And Andy. Oh, Danny Ball. Andy, Andy, Andy. Blue Chew. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Say it with us, Blue Chew. Blue Chew is making ways, bringing more confidence into the bedroom by offering chewable tablets that can help men get stronger and longer lasting erections. Oh my God. You know, I have erectile dysfunctions. It's fine. I do. A lot of men have it. And I have, because as I get older, it's broken down a bit. Well, let me tell you, Blue Chew tablets... And this stuff really works. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is the

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adventure one, right? I gave you an adventure. Well, I gave you a bag for travel, because I know you like to go to Joshua Tree. I love it. You can pack stuff in there. They've got cooking tools and outdoor gear that I put in there for you. Oh, no, you also gave me one time one with grooming goods, and I used it all. Did you really? I used it all. You do groom very well. I got myself a whiskey decanter and some stuff for the home. I really do like this stuff. It's really cool. You just take a quiz at boxofawesome.com, and your answers are going to... They're great for gifts, is it not? No, it's a great gift. Yeah, because it's like, you don't have to think, you know, they do it for you. You just fill out the quiz, and people will always like it. Here's

what they like. Here's what they don't like, and they send to you a new box every single month across a ton of different categories. It's totally free to sign up. You can skip a month, cancel, do whatever you got to do, but it's cool for you, or like Bob said, to give gifts. Each box is 45 bucks, and it has $70 worth of stuff on the inside. It was incredible. It's great. It's crazy. Get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com and enter the code Bad Friends at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com code Bad Friends for 20% off your first box. Can we do it again? I'm being real. Yeah. And try to really sing a song as if you're really going to try to- What's wrong with Tub Something? No, no, no, a song- Chumble One was one of the

best. No, I want you to sing a Whitney Houston song or something that I really want you to try your best to get through. A Whitney song? Honestly, imagine you're fucking- imagine this, right? Okay. Imagine they said, you know, if you have to try your best or- Okay. Or all your whole thumb is going to get sick. Are you serious? Yeah. Okay, here we go. All right, so I'm going to do the introduction again. No, I have the interview first. Okay, I just did the theme music. Oh, my bad. Okay. Hey, welcome. What's your name? Hey, Andrew. How long have you been singing, pal? Since I can- six years. Okay. What are you going to be singing for us? Today, one of my favorite songs of all time, one of my favorite movies. Okay, go ahead, please. Thank you. Go ahead.

Again. Don't- I'm not. Your parents are going to get sick. Okay. Tell me something, boy. Aren't you tired of- I messed it up. Tell me- what? Go ahead. Tell me something, boy. Aren't you tired of trying to fill that void? Do you need more? Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore? Hey, man, I'm not going to fucking laugh when you do it. Yeah, you're next now. Yeah, you're- no, and I'm done. Now- man. Now it's your turn. Go ahead. All right. Sorry. Go ahead. All right, so next contestant, come on in. I was really going for the one on that one. What's your name? Hi, I'm Jules. Hi, Jules. Where are you from? This'll be

good. I'm from Cebu. Where's that? Where's Cebu? Where's that? The Philippines. Wow. Are you a refugee? Yes. Oh my god. Why did you come over here? They love heartfelt stories. Yeah. Why did you come to the United States? Because I want to be a singer. Oh, wow. That's great. How were you able to come over here financially? Are your parents financially stable? No, I just walked through here. You walked the water. You walked from the Philippines all the way here? Yeah. Wow. I get it. I get it. Through the Bering Strait? You walked all the way up to the Bering Strait? Yeah, yeah. Did you see any Eskimos? Yeah. You did? All right, so what are you going to be singing for us today? I will be singing My Heart Will Go On. Deon, what a song. Wow, what a song. It's a big song. It's a really

tough song. Go ahead. Every night in my dreams, I see you. I feel you. That is how I know you. Go on. Far across the distance. And spaces between us that you have come to. Go on. Go. Come on. Go on. This is the big part. This is the only part that matters. This is how you're going to get in. All right. You want to take it to Hollywood or not? Okay, okay, go. Ready? I believe that the heart does go on. Wait, what is that song called? My heart will go on. I want to see if I can reach. Titanic. I want to see if I can reach that chorus. To near far? Yeah, yeah, ready? Near far. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to try here. Wherever you are. You got to pull the mic away if you're going to do that. Ready? Here we go. Near far wherever you are. I believe that

the heart does go on. Once more, you open the door and you're it. Something like that. That's really good. That was okay. No, honestly. That was okay. That was okay. I thought it was really good. You want to try it? I can't do that any justice. That's like one of the, that's genuinely shut the fuck up. You know what's so funny? What happened? We were driving here and I get a honk from behind me, right? And I look in the rear of your mirror and I go, what the fuck is going on? And she was like, just keep driving. And I pull over. Yeah, right? And she goes, what are you doing? Roll down. Guess who it was? Who? I'll show you. He just left me a message. Who is that? Really? Yeah. Oh, dude. He was right behind me. Oh, he was? Yeah. And he goes,

you talk shit about me on your fucking podcast. That's good. He listens. Yeah. Wait, what did you say about him on the podcast? I don't remember. Can I read you something? I was just looking up funny lyrics of songs to sing. Remember the band 311? Listen to these lyrics. I'm not singing this. That's important. I love portos. I have some. Really? Yeah, it's his birthday. Yeah, but I also want some. Yeah, I was going to give you some. Wow. You want me to give you a slice? Andres, what's your favorite song? Ritmo. What is it? Ritmo. That's good that that broke. How do you spell that? R-I-T-M-O. Ritmo. By who? Black Eyed Peas. By Black Eyed Peas. Oh, let's hear the lyrics for this song that he likes so much.

Oh, it's in Spanish. It's in Spanish. It's in Spanish. I wanted to sing it for his birthday. Is it really good? Give me a fork or something. Well, should we let him have some because it's his birthday? Do you get any, Andres, because it's your birthday? Sure. My god, it's good. Come in here and get some for your birthday, man. Yeah, of course. Well, there's a spoon. There's spoons over there. Who brought spoons from their house? Did you do that, Andres? It's a custard. It's beautiful. You have to cut this yourself because Bobby broke the fucking... Bobby broke the... You know what's so sad about this show? Oh. He bought his own cake. This is called tres leches. This is tres leches cake?

Yep. Is it really? Yep. This is really good. How do you make tres leches cake? Do you know? Mm-mm. All right, so what is this? So we have a game for Rudy to see if she can complete some of America's most famous lines, TV and... Oh, this is so good. This is so good. Okay, so Rudy's gotta... Maybe even if you don't know it, you have to fill in the blank. Yes. All right, so here we go. All right, Rudy, I'm gonna read the first one to you and then you're gonna fill in the blank. Ready? Okay. Magic mirror on the wall. Who is the... Ferris. Ferris one of all. That's right. Wow. Bing, bing, bing. Yeah. All right. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a... Down. Wow. I'm gonna do the next one. Okay, go. I'm gonna make him a... Say it again. I'm gonna make him a... He can't refuse, so I'm

gonna make him a... Spider. I'm gonna make him a spider. He can't refuse. That's exactly what it is. How did you know that? You seen that movie? No. It's a second Spider-Man movie. Was it second or third? It was a third Spider-Man movie. That's right. So in the third Spider-Man movie, he looks at... Was it Sandman? I think it was the Sandman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, I'm gonna make him... Oh, the Sandman goes, I'm gonna make him a spider. He can't refuse. That's true. Yeah, so... All right, so go ahead, Bob. Breathe the next one. May the be with you. What? May the odds be with you, and that was in... That was in Casino. Casino. May the odds be with you. Yeah, it was a man dressed in black. Yeah, and he just walked up. He walked up. Walked up to De Niro, smoking, and he goes,

may the odds be with you. Yeah, that was amazing. Yeah. Go ahead, you do the next one. Mama always said, life is like a box of... Chocolate. Exactly. Let's not do the accents, because we don't want to give anything away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, just read it as Bobby. Yeah. Go ahead. Houston, we have a... Houston, we have a... Go ahead. Houston, we have a... Baby. That's exactly what it is. And what movie is that from? What movie was that from? Three Men and a Baby. Three Men and a Baby. Because Houston, right? That was the mother's... Made in name. Made in name, and she was having a baby. Yeah. Right? And the father says, Houston, because the mother's laying there, we're having a baby. We're having a baby. She was drunk, and he was saying how inappropriate it was. Go ahead, Bob.

Bond. James. Bond. Yeah, very good. Say hello to my little... Sister. Say hello to my little sister. And that movie was... Hello, sister. Hello, sister. Hello, sister was a great movie. Great film. Kate Blanchett was in it. And Robert Downey Jr., right? Robert Downey Jr., right. Yeah, it was great. Say hello to my little sister. Yeah. So... Go ahead. I love George Clooney. He's an old-fashioned movie star. He... He suck my... What? Yeah. This is good. He sucks. He suck my... Ice cream. Yes, exactly. That's pretty close, actually. I think it was actually Gelato, but yes. I love George Clooney. He's an old-fashioned movie star. He sucks. He sucked my ice... My Gelato. Yeah. Perfect. Just having a little cockadoodle... Do. Pretty close.

Pretty close. Andres, what's that one from? Oh, and you know the previous one? The previous one was from the dictator. That's my line. Yeah, that's your line. Yeah, yeah. You know... Do you know what the next one's from? It's from the movie you did. It's from when I did... I'm dying up here. I'm dying up here, yeah. I was smoking weed, and I said just having a little cockadoodle doobie, and I was smoking weed in the morning. I see. Guess who made up that line? Who? Me. Very good. I'm the blank of the world. I'm the... The irony is staggering because we just did this. It's insane. We literally just talked about this movie. I'm the blank of the world. I'm the best of the world. The best of the world. Yeah.

Bobby, you got to take this one for obvious reasons. Wax on, wax off. Pretty on the nose. But pretty not... Pretty easy. What movie would that be from? Wax on, wax off. Do you know? Bees. Bees. Yeah, yeah. Bees. Because they obviously... Wax on. There's wax. And then you take it off from them. Right. Right. Back to wax on. E.T. blank home. I don't know this. E.T. You know, to be fair, this is really tough. It's not. No, no, no. I mean, for her to just guess, it's alien slang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. E.T. Because it's... First of all, it's improper English. It's also a difficult word to say. Right. Well, because it's technical. Yeah, it's technological. And science-y. Yeah, science-y. Go ahead. E.T.

Very science-y, Bob. E.T. I mean, really, at this point... Stole it out there. Yeah, you said... Science-y. Well, you said ice cream once and... E.T. what? E.T. what? Galaxy. E.T. Galaxy Home. Have you never seen the movie E.T.? No. E.T. Galaxy Home. Galaxy Home. That is what he said, right? Well, his galaxy... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's exactly where he lives. He lives in the galaxy. This one's fun. Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in blank anymore.

Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in... I've got a feeling we're not in... here. Very good. That's very honest. Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in here anymore. This one's great, Bobby. Yeah. Set it up for this one. Go ahead. Make my... What a good movie. Yeah, I'm gonna love it. Go ahead. Make my... Milkshake. Yes! Yes! How did you know that? That's actually really good. That's milkshake.

How did you know that? You saw the movie? No. That's odd that she wouldn't... How would you know that? How do you know that then not see the movie? I don't know. I was just thinking of ice cream and then milkshake. What movie do you think it is? I don't know. You don't know what movie this is? This is Clap the Boat. This is Clap the Boat. Go ahead. Go ahead. Make my milkshake. Keep your friends close, but your enemies close.

Yeah, well, you know she's a crazy person. She knows that one for sure. They may take our lives, but they'll never take our... You can read this with an accent. She still won't get it. Yeah. They may take our lives, but they'll never take our... They may take our lives, but they'll never take our... Souls! They can take our lives. They'll never take our souls. Is there more? I like this game. That's so good, though. They'll never take our souls.

Okay, let's tell her what it really was. Well, the last one was... Yeah, we can go through it. They may take our lives, but they'll never take our... Our freedom. That was the brave part. You got that? Go ahead. Make my day. That's Dirty Harry. Dirty Harry.

Do you know who Clint Eastwood is? Yeah. Oh, cool. It's E.T. Phone Home. Yeah, Phone. All right. Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. Do you know where Kansas is? Do you know what it is? Yeah, exactly. Do you know what movie that was?

Wizard of Oz. You've never seen that? Oh, my God. God, it's so wild. I'm the king of the world? Yeah, you just did Titanic. You know you love that movie. I forgot.

Wax On, Wax Off is from Karate Kid. Yeah. Those two phrases are from me and Bob. Yeah. Say hello to my little friend is Scarface. Do you know what that is? Horror movie? Yeah, kind of.

Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a cautionary tale. Yeah, you should know. A call-a-cautionary whore tale. Bond. James, would you say? Bond. James Bond. She got it right. No, she got it right. Okay. Houston, we have what?

Bay. Yeah. No, she said Houston, we have a... Baby. Oh, yeah, Houston, we have a baby. And it's Houston, we have a problem. No. Yeah.

Yeah. What movie? That's Apollo 13. Apollo 13, right. Apollo 13, yeah. May the Force be with you. Right. In Star Wars.

What did she say? May the... Gods. What did she say? What was it? May the odds be with you. Yeah, may the odds be with you. The odds be with you, yeah, yeah.

Casino, yeah. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. He can't refuse. An offer that's from the Godfather. Have you seen that? No way. No, yeah. Frankly, my dear, I don't get it.

Give a damn what you got correct. You got that right. Do you know what movie that is? No. Really? How do you know that it's damn? No, it's damn. I just thought of it.

Do you know who says it? No. Wow. Do you know, Bob? Is it... Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. I don't know. What movie is it?

I don't know what movie it is. Gone with the wind. Clark Gable. Clark Gable. I never saw that. You never saw Gone with the Wind? No. Well, okay.

Okay. But like, you love old cinema? That one I didn't watch. I mean, I don't like... No, I just love that you go, that one I didn't watch. I'll tell you why. I don't like historical pieces with just a bunch of white people in it. You don't like slave-era films?

Like a movie like Emma Comes Along or something like that, when it has to do with aristocrats or white... Slavery and shit? Yeah, I just don't like it. What about Tarantino? He does shit like that all the time about slave movies. I like that, I like that, yeah. Okay.

Magic Mirror on the Wall, who is that? And you got that right. You got that right. Wait, did you? She did. What did you say? Ferris. Who is the Ferris Bueller of them all?

Yeah. That's pretty good though. That's really good for American movie slangs. Yeah. I have to say, you have to watch E.T. Yeah, let's make you a list of stuff you really need to watch. Yeah, you gotta watch E.T. E.T. for sure.

On this list, let's go down the list of things you have to watch. Go on with the win, I don't get it, no, no, no. The Godfather, you would love the Godfather, you would love Star Wars. You've never seen any Star Wars. I think I've seen the first one. Okay. Oh my God. You would know if you had or not.

I don't think she'll like James Bond. I don't think, I think Scarface would be too much for you. No, no, no, the Decatur's, no. No, no, no, for us. I'm the Titanic you've seen. I think Karate Kid you'd love. Yeah. Karate Kid's such a good movie.

E.T. you've never seen. Why wouldn't you watch that movie? That's a cute movie with kids and an alien. His name is E.T. Extra terrestrial. Oh, but he looks kind of scary. He does. Yeah.

Let's bring him a picture of this long-necked weirdo. Let's bring him a picture of E.T. right now. Because honestly, I couldn't agree with her more. I remember as a kid being like, I would never put this thing in my house. Let me tell you something. If this thing, that in my house? Why am I hiding that in my house?

Yeah. And what was he made out of? A ball skin? How to take a sack? Like ball sack skin? He was such an ugly, no purpose was this cute. They try to say it was like cute. It was not a cute creature.

Go to a full body shot of it, please. There's a full body shot there. Not cute. Look at that. That's a testicle. Yeah. That's a big sack. Would you hide that in your house?

If he came to your house, Rudy, if this crashed in your front yard and you and your friends were when you were like, hold, were they 10 or 11 or 12 in that? Would you ever harbor this in your home? You'd probably kill it. Can I say something about it? You'd probably get one of those knives out and kill it.

But the tone of the movie, I remember watching the movie as a kid. And walking out of the theater going, oh, that was the greatest thing I've ever seen. It was unequivocally. As a kid? One of the best movies I've ever seen in my life. Oh, my God, it was so magical.

I remember walking out with my brother of the theater and just going, oh, that was magical. I remember feeling that about a handful of movies where you're like so cool, it blew your mind. Yeah. Ghostbusters I thought was one of the coolest movies. Yeah, that was another really cool one. They were like, this is amazing.

Yeah, yeah. The technology back then was absurd. It was absurd. And this today, when you look at a CGI in this and all that, it looks awful. Really? It's so bad. It's terrible.

We should try to watch E.T., I think, at home. She might like it. Star Wars, you have to watch. Well, yeah, you really should. For cultural reasons. Let me ask you something. In Star Wars, just they mean three characters in Star Wars. You got this.

You got this. Darth, Darth or Dark? You tell us. You tell us. We've never seen it. Darth Vader? Very good. OK, good.

Darth Vader. Second one. Luke. Yeah. Luke. What's his last name? I don't know. OK.

Right. Yeah, that's, you know. It's forgettable. I just know it's Luke. I am your father. That's his name. How do you know that? Luke, I am your father.

That's the movie you saw? I don't know. She's heard that in the socials. Somebody's saying that Luke, I am your father. So Luke, what? Let's guess his last name. Just for fun. Luke.

Think about space stuff. Spacey things. Luke. Luke, ab. Sugabab. No. Wait. Luke, ab.

Abragan. Yeah, Luke. Luke, abragan. Luke, abragan. That's great. Very good. Third one. One more character.

Luke, abragan. He was good. Luke, abragan was good. Yeah. She does come up with great last names. Amazing names. Yeah. Amazing.

Archinal. Jose Archinals? Yeah. I want to read. He's amazing. I want to see that movie. She should have a book of like baby names. Go ahead.

Name one more character. Come on. Slinky. Yes. No, no, no. Slinky was in there. Slinky was in there. Slinky was in there.

Slinky was in there. Everyone loves Slinky. Slinky. Slinky. Yeah. Yeah. No, Slinky was in there. Yeah.

Let me ask you something. Have you ever heard of like C-3PO? R2-D2. You never heard of that? Have you ever heard of Boba Fett? Okay. Luke's last name is Skywalker. You've heard of that? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Princess Leia Han Solo. Any of these kind of? Ring a bell? Yeah. Okay. All right.

That was a great podcast. I had a good time. Well, let's have Rudy take us out with take us out with one of your favorite incorrect slangs from there. Which one did you say? The, what was the furthest off? I'm going to make him a spider.

He can't refuse? Yeah, yeah. Is that it? Go ahead and say that into the camera and take us home. I'm going to make him a spider. He can't refuse. Thank you for being a bad friend.

That's right, you son of a bitch. Now you have a little bobby too. Oh, thank you for being a bad friend.