Bad Friends - White Shenanigans

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

*CHRISTMAS MERCH IS OUT* Go to https://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS22 & https://thefreezepipe.com code: BADFRIENDS & https://vroom.com & https://www.manscaped.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Bad Friends at the Comedy Store & Other Events 1:06 Desk Girl & Pollo Loco Manager 6:31 Nikki Haley Stand-Up Special 12:53 Bobby & Andrew's Complaints Address 21:10 Warn Your Friends About White Shenanigans  29:11 Bring a White  38:33 Bobby's 91-Year Old Girlfriend 48:39 Rudy & Harvey Dent 53:53 Should Women Shave Their Legs? 1:02:58 We All Get Self-Conscious  More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Rudy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendrudy More Fancy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producers: Andrés Rosende & Pete Forthun This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, we're gonna be at the comedy store next week next week next Tuesday night 8 p.m.. In the main room all the proceeds Bob Where are they going? They're going to the doorman and women of the comedy store and they're all talented kids And we want to help them out for the holidays So it's gonna be bad friends lives. Hopefully if you guys let us sell out the 8 p.m. We can do the 10 p.m. Afterwards and raise more money For the there are men and women that work at the comedy store to help them out They'll be so happy go to comedy store com for the for tickets the comedy store com I'm gonna be in Boston New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve get those tickets now

We just added a late show to New Year's Eve Andrew Santino.com come see me in Boston Andrew Santino.com also We got new merch look at this, huh? Look at that, baby. Bob show yours. I love mine. This is awesome New merch look at it. We're yelling at each other. This is great stuff. Go to badfriendsmerch.com Oh, it's in the merch bar down below, but if not badfriendsmerch.com You know how sometimes you go to like a hotel and you you know the valet but they get to pay that lady behind the count You know what I mean? Wait, what? You know how to go to valet at the pay sometimes you don't pay at the valet thing There's an actual like a little yeah desk thing. Yeah, that's what she looks like a desk girl a desk

No, but only for valets What is it cuz of her pants? Just her vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah energy. I think it's cool. You look like a General manager of an El Pueblo, but not in this country Yeah, I mean like there's a new branch in Honduras Right. Yeah, you're the general manager though. What's on your forehead? It's a pimple cream. Oh Oh, yeah, we shouldn't have brought that up. Well, it's right. It's I just didn't know what I it's right there What do you want me to do? Let's talk about the pimple cream

Well this morning I woke up to like a really really big zit and then I wanted to pop it cuz it was so painful Yeah, and then I was in the mirror and when they popped it it like squirted all over the mirror. Oh, I love that Yeah, one of my favorite things is popping a good pimple. Do you use like a little needle to like? Poke it. What just your fingers. Oh, but sometimes it's like hard. No, I just got a squeeze, baby Oh, wait a minute. You use a you puncture your face first and then yeah, I've seen that online. Yeah, you know what I do Disgusting. Yeah, the dogs do it Well, just I'll bite my nail take a nail I'll take it and I'll turn it into like a little shiv I'll bite it turn into it like a mini shiv

Yeah, I got it I'll pop it that way because sometimes I pop it in places. There are no needles Right, and I get there's not needles everywhere and in your nails on trees your nails are clean So you figured oh, that's another good point. That's funny that you say that why not my hands first Why not get the infection worse? That's true. I get that. Yeah. Yeah, that's smart So the dirt on your fingernails now gets into the hole in your face. Yeah, um, can I ask you a question? Please? You're not fully over. You're whatever you had your voice is thick. My boy sounds normal to me And then Friday night you were like a little grumpy on the phone. Why was I grumpy on the phone?

I don't I called you like you're not gonna be here. I go and I go what oh, no I was in the main room of the store. Yeah, let's talk about it I was in the main room of the store and the sound guy was coming to look to see who was supposed to be next and I was supposed to bring you on next But I couldn't I didn't bring you on I ended up bringing on somebody out Benji Aflalo because you're great You yeah, okay, but The sound guy said is Bobby not gonna make it and I said well I don't I'll call him and I said Bob your spot is next. Are you gonna be here? And you said no

Yeah, and I said why not I was at the improv No You were done at the amount of the improv you were done Was it not at the improv though? You were before but you were done You could have made your spot, but you didn't want it so you just bailed so for all the fans out there No, that paid for a ticket on Friday night and get didn't get to see Bobby. He bailed Yeah, I'm there every night and if you really want to know if you want to really want to see every night He he wanted to go get food

That's it now I know what to tell people when I'm working when I'm working and Bobby doesn't show up I get a long line of people that are really upset and sad. How much for the car Oh, yeah, listen, okay, you can I tell you what happened last stop calling in if you're not gonna do the spots Fuck you. I've seen you so many times cancel never Yeah, you're right. I never You know me, but I tried and that's what's great about me, right? I commit to whatever nonsense What happened last last night, I'll tell you what happened, right? It's scary

Fucking scary. So I'm in the main room at the comedy store In the green room and I was there. I had a friend from Canada with me, okay. Yeah, we're sitting there Eddie Pepitone's there. You know the old man love Eddie so funny Yeah, and he's there with his friend and then there's this black guy. Okay. What? Well, just the way you went. Yeah, I Did yeah, can I say it again? guy There was a guy who was Just so happen to be yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's sitting there and it's everything fine

I'm like, you know, you know, was there a little early and we're all chatting Mm-hmm. This is guys sitting there on one of the you know, where the bar is that little bar They don't serve anything in the main room and he says something a little bit weird like you'll a man Trajo Trajo on stage and I go what? Trajo Trajo and I go Jesus trail That's his name. I go, yeah

So that right there, you know your head. You're like, why would you you don't know him trail? What do you do? Who are you? Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying I'm waiting I look in the on the list because you know, sometimes you have your you know, I mean the open micers that open the show Don't point at her not her. You know In the names, yeah, you hire me. I do hire you. Yeah, you're fucking great. Yeah, you're cheap I mean, you're you're talented, but cheap help. I'm not gonna fucking Nick. What's her name? Nikki Haley? Whatever name who's Nikki Haley? Um

Anyway She's a politician, right? Yeah her I can't get Nikki Haley She does stand up Oh it is yeah, show me some Nikki Haley I might cast my vote for her by the way Pete typed in Nikki Haley stand Fire stand up for America will stand up for America. Yeah. No, it's stand for that's very good though Yeah, so what so what so this young black man? Right, so then let me kind of tell the story, please. Yeah. Yeah, so he goes trail trail and I go

I look at those note. There's he's not on the list Then he then he starts mumbling when do I gotta go up? Like just randomly going that asking when do I get to go up gonna go up Okay, I'm not kidding. Yeah, and for my peripheral. I'm like there's something wrong because he's also his eyes are going All over the room. Yeah, it's exactly the second You know me and I can't I'm not good with confrontation. I know that right so I'm like You're gonna go up What else do you say

Yeah, I leave I just no no no I double down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Good, I think we're not but also Eddie but they have no idea what's going on Eddie doesn't know me there Yeah, but he has no idea that there's danger Why is there danger? Some guy doesn't trail trail and going when I do mumbling when do I get to go up sounds like a comic? So what then he starts going like yo man He goes I've seen you on the tiktok and I go that's right I know but you would you have to understand that if you're a comic you don't say that but I understand

He has I understand what he's saying right, but it's like, you know me going yeah, Dave To you and I'd go uh-huh. Oh, okay, so I go okay tiktok. I should have done that he just doesn't know a lot of words Oh, that's true. Okay. It sounds like his vocabulary, right? So then I'm like I got to do something. Yeah, would you know you just let me immediately leave the room I Know but I know if I was the only person in the room leave then I would leave But I don't I don't want to leave the room and then I'll come back and any pipetones in the 19 different pieces Then I'll feel guilt he can defend himself. He's fine Kenny. Oh, so you're the hero of the day Between me and any pipetone. I my money's on Eddie

No, no, that's offensive. Okay. He's fucking a thousand years old. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he can fight for sure Yeah, no doubt. No, no, he's a thousand years old this guy. Look at him. He's the man That okay, who's your money on Jules between between him and Bobby in a fight? He looks like he's gonna have a heart attack. Thank you. Thank you. So maybe Tita Bob Thank you. Thank you. So you're saying the only reason that Bob would win is because yeah, but outside of that If you let's just say he has me doing anything that's just him killing himself But let's just say he's got a really healthy heart like I know his vitals are great. Okay, then maybe Truth is the truth. What do you think juice? I think Eddie would take the hit for the insurance money

So he would lose on purpose he's a fall guy. Yeah, but what that what that means is he could still beat you if you anyway So what do you do anyway? Okay, so what do you do? I go to the front? I go to Jess and I go I think there's a crazy person in the green room. She's like, what are you talking about? And I go, what do you mean? There's a fucking great black No, no Leave it in. No, leave it in. I was just doing a callback for that. I got it All right, because and then this fucking guy goes we gotta fucking cut it out. No, it's great. Leave it in It was just a joke. It was a joke. So look you told Jess and so I go she goes, okay, and she comes with me

I go, no, you can't come now You can't come now. She's like, why I go because you're gonna then he he knows that I'm the one that's north Right, you got to come in eight minutes. I time it. I tied Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I went back in there and then lo and behold Eddie purple tone still alive. Thank God Yeah, yeah, I'm like, oh, he's in pieces, right and the guy's still sitting there I go to the bathroom and I we just I just pretend that you know, everything's fine, right, right, right And then she finally comes in and she she goes What's your name?

Oh, I know that guy that guy He actually ripped yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be a Name that yeah, yeah, thank you They go nuts. Yeah, it's like earthquake. You know that has its own name. Yeah, exactly. Cool. So he goes Are you a paid regular he goes, um, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, he's no, you're not he goes. I'm not How easy and then no, but then he goes she goes you have to leave. He's a why Because you're not performing. He goes, but can I go up? These are good questions

He is putting in good question. Can I just show tell you though? I mean people don't know at home it's a sold-out room in the main room, right and It's not like It's not it's not difficult to get back there But it's not something you know that you're not supposed to be back. You know, you're not supposed to be right It's just there's a long hallway. There's a stay in back there. You just you know, man You have to be very bold. Yeah, right. Also, if you're an up-and-coming comedian You just in your mind know that just that's not the way it happens. Of course. Yeah, that's a no-no

Can I go up? My name is ah Right that just doesn't work right but he goes Can I go up and she's like no you can't you have to leave this room? Yeah, and he hesitates Okay, okay gets up and leaves, right? Yeah, and then they banned him for life. Oh, man. That was my win You better for life now. He's gonna think I did that. Yeah, so if you're out there listening, ah Bobby is the reason you'll never perform at the comedy store and and honestly Bobby Lee and you guys fans Will you put his address right here at the bottom of the screen? So mail your complaints there or I want to show up. I want you to feel the guilt. No, I wouldn't feel guilty at all

Oh, it's all came to my fucking house and murdered me in my sleep. You wouldn't feel guilty hilarious, listen, right When you kill me Take my blood and on the wall go Andrew. Yeah, let's say Andrew Santino because I Yes, how about Cheeto Santino Cheeto sent me? Cheeto, yeah, I don't know right. Yeah, you won't feel the guilt. No All right, you know put his address under the His address there is all the way which house because let me say something. Oh, you can open for me

I have never seen your act at all. We're at all, but dude. I'm telling you I I packed rooms Kill Andrew and you can open for me. All right. All right. We'll just see who dies first, dude So funny this guy I hope is a big fan Oh, I hope he's know of this show and is listening to this show. Yeah, and it's gonna show up more of the comedy story Like I heard you got me banned. I listened to your show. I didn't get a band. Okay. I mean that story definitely sounds like you did Yeah, it's great because eight minutes I should have waited. Yeah, that's okay. I mean, I should have said the eight minutes Gonna be okay So rude you got cut off welcome back by the way Rudy the jewels. Hi. Hi. Are you sad your mom and sister are gone?

Yeah, but I also like being alone. Yeah, we know that I don't know what she does at night I come home. It's like Friday Saturday night, but she has a bit It was like two days that I didn't see you and you didn't tell me that you were in New York Was he got a check-in with you before he goes to New York my parole officer. Yeah. No, you have to tell me What what what let's hear what that conversation you just say you just say okay? Ding ding Hello Hey

By the way, how are you? Yeah, good. How are you? Okay? Bye. What does that? She hangs up already. That's crazy. Okay. Bye. That means that she doesn't want to know any information. That's right No, it could be like I've been captured you didn't finish it You don't know why he's in New York. Yeah. Yeah, okay, okay? That was my one chance. I was like, I'm free. I'm gonna call jewels Fuck you let's say let's say you're a kid you're adult napped. Let's say you were stolen. Yeah, somebody steals Bobby Yeah, a group of thugs just just bad specifics. Oh, who doesn't yeah the Yakuza in New York

They're everywhere. That's true. But more to the Chinese triad. Okay, the triad Chinese triads deal Yeah, because they're not a fan of Koreans. Yeah, and so they steal you right and they say listen up you have Listen, sorry Listen up Yeah, you hire up. Don't maybe You and that's what he's saying you right there is that group right there. That's the Chinese try this but that's him right there In the front. He's saying you have a one-phone call And that's what he's saying you want a phone call. Yeah, who you gonna call?

Yeah Now you use this opportunity to tell on the list of people who you gonna call Yeah, give me that list of where jewels would fall under the numbers you would call for help the Chinese triad has you right in their layer And they're like you get a one-phone call. Well on my phone. I have favorites Yeah, who's it who's in the favorites? You're in the favorites. You're in my favorites. You're my favorites Really? She's in your favorites. She's the end though. Yeah Like she's the second to last night on the favor. Who's the first person you would call? Chinese triad

Now remember be real. I know I'm saying it's not that who you're gonna call Like oh, I'm gonna die. Who are you gonna call to get you out of this Chinese triad? Situation situation. Well, so they have to talk to the triad to get me out of this. That's right. Yeah Oh then my manager I know but let's put her on she's your manager. We can do whatever we want. I Don't I don't know what this is gonna give us. Here's the deal, but I'll try well It's worth a try right? Yeah, I want you to call her and be like and you but you play you and go I'm captured by the Chinese I need you to help me get out

At the town, please record your message when you finished recording you may hang up or press one for more I'm captured by the Chinese triad gang. I'm in here hurry up Yeah, yeah, I'm in a cage one of those dogs here cuz they eat the dog they eat the dogs Fuck Leave your ring around Oh my god, so when they pick up when she calls back you have to answer you have to be you have to figure out your name Yeah, you're the leader of the Chinese working this stuff out in your head Why you how do you caught me all that stuff? Why did you capture? What do you want?

So why did you capture me? Give me the accent first. No, but let her surprise us with the accent. All right. All right, cuz I want to see Okay, so why Chinese China? Well, we're trying to get more publicity and you're a big name. This is smart. Pretty good. We can hold you capture Maybe we can get our name out there on bad friends. Oh, they want to be on the podcast But wait a minute if they kidnap you how would they get on the podcast because you you mean they're gonna use him as his own collateral Yeah, kind of weird you get Bobby back if we Mean if they can be on the show 30 members all over here in the game. Oh, it's your okay

You create the world we have 26 members and we'd all like to be part of the Pretty good number. That's a lot of people. Okay door guys. We have it this is that what it is All right, maybe it's no one, you know, they better have 26 mics. Yeah, everybody wants everybody wants a headset That's good. Is that even possible? Can we buy it out? Yes, anything anything's possible to 26 mics What else is your demands? Yeah, what are the Chinese tried demands? You'd better have that stuff lined up because Abby's gonna as a manager Everyone has a rider, right? I didn't even know we could ask for more Yeah, we just wanted to be on the podcast

But your Chinese do so, you know Right when I'm there I need you know, what do you need dumplings dumplings? They need dumplings. They love it They can't go out without it. We need opium. Oh, they love the opium. Can you get them that? Yeah, okay? And then no joke like kung-fu kung-fu no joke. Yeah, no Trump. Yeah, I mean no Trump joke No, I'm just gonna call it China virus not because they don't like it. Yeah, I don't know Asian hate No, right. We'll do a Chinese triad stop Asian hate Sounds good. All right. Are you prepared you ready? I Got it. I got it. I have an Asian girl that I want to show you show him this video of this this Asian girl

I want to see what your stance is on this as an Asian American. I really I'm being genuine I want your stance on this. I don't want to even look and you too as foreign No, no, no, you can look at her. No, I want to look and we've surprised by it. Is it beautiful? I want you to just to I just want you to listen to what she has to say I want to see this from what I see now. Yeah Kind of cute. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I would probably date her Okay, let's let's see what she has to let me see if you agree with what she says Controversial opinion, but if you have a token white and you're hanging out with your friend group of color

You need to ask permission from everybody in the group to bring your white friend Like don't just bring them ask for explicit permission from everyone because just because you're comfortable with them It doesn't mean that everybody's comfortable with them. I might not be in the mood to deal with white shenanigans that day That's that's another thing if she has a point go like don't don't let them think they're a good white person Don't don't give them that card to use against other people. Please. Don't do that So, what do you think if you I don't like white shenanigans? Never liked it. Who does ever since I've been in this country, you know, you're sick of white shenanigans walking around frolicking around So if you're with a group of Asians, do you have to ask permission to bring a white?

Why do you mention it? How do you get the permission? How do you say it? Yeah, I'm coming. All right All right, so I'm calling. Do I get a different pass? I'm gonna call the main guy. Yeah, Ling All right. No Oh And it just feels weird right so you know me I think that's on you Was that white shenanigans I walk into a big room of all ages Oh, yeah, yeah, what are we eating?

Supply they're all like you brought supplies Is this how do you feel about that Rudy? I think I think what he she's saying is kind of true because oh because from what I've noticed like like like maybe like hooking up with white and like Asian people I kind of connect more to the Asian and I don't really connect to the white people and Also, I don't want to bring someone who's like you to Andrew. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah, so so if it's like you I tell them like oh, he's coming. He's coming No, but she's saying you have to ask for permission. No, I'm just gonna say oh, he's coming

I don't have to ask right. Yeah, you just have to mention it interesting to like warn them. I ask Well, what do you say like a Ling, you know, you know at all You got back-to-back meetings errands to run chores to take care of yeah What's the secret to clearing your to-do list a little help from door dash? That's the secret you can get dinner household essentials and everything on your grocery list delivered You ever pull into the driveway after going to the grocery store and you realize you forgot that one key ingredient for dinner I do it all the time Coomin I forgot cumin you can get the groceries you need or a backup meal from your favorite local restaurant delivered with door dash with ease

What do you want to eat tonight? Oh my god? Well, you know, we talked about we talked about cupcakes and donuts That's how I get it. I know you and that and I use door dash because quick and along with restaurants though You love you can now get groceries Andrew. I don't know if you know that yep And other essential items delivered with door dash get drinks you love that I love snacks and other household items like you know sprays And guess what they come in under an hour with door dash. Oh my god with door dash You're not just getting the things you love but supporting the community you love as well from stores and restaurants the dashers driving around each purchase provides a new Opportunity for everyone involved because with door dash There's a neighborhood of good in every order for a limited time our listeners can get 50% off up to a $20 value and zero

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Bad friends for 10% off your order. That's the freeze pipe comm code bad friends for 10% off shop today Shipping is free and your throat and lungs will thank you. Yeah, I got laying. I'm bringing Um, you know that podcast I do bad friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I go I'm bringing Andrew, right and he'd be like Nah Oh, really not the Pitchett. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's honestly that he's not, you know, he's not an insurrectionist You gotta throw that out there. That's the first thing you have to say. Yeah, like he wasn't there I mean on the 6th or whatever, right? I support it, but I wasn't there, right, right? I wouldn't say that I go, you know, like if he was on a dating site, it would say politically moderate

I would say moderate, right? It's lukewarm, you know, right, right, right, and I'd be like He's only gonna be there for like a quick sec pop in pop out He's gonna pop in a pop out, right and not he's not gonna shoot anybody. That's not what I mean He's gonna say, you know, I mean happy birthday and I'm he's gonna leave and then he'd be like, all right, and then it'd be okay. Yeah, but you know, honestly though I've never let's be honest. What she's doing is insane. It's disgusting. It's disgusting It's insane. We're gonna talk about it for real. That's fucking repulsive. It's very repulsive and it's like, you know If a white person had to ask his white friends, can I bring a Korean? That's insane. What fucking, you know, no

Yeah, no, well, this is this is the problem with still have sex with her though Yeah, 100% would you know if you're single? No, why because like she wouldn't have fucking she wouldn't fuck you Well, cuz how she feels about why? No, yeah, yeah, no, I understand All joking aside about it. Well, I did see it and I was like this is we're going backwards I do think it should be a rule that you should if you invite anybody you should get permission from everybody Right, but it should mean contingent upon the color of their fucking skin. No, that's crazy crazy. You're fucking crazy person Like you could tell that she she's had experiences like she doesn't trust them

She thinks things white people right so might this would be fine. Here's what happened This would be funny though. Yeah, that if you made love to her you finally like for a year quartered her, right? Mm-hmm, and right when you're gonna come you look at her and go Like as you know, you go Oh, you know what happened though She was hanging out with a group of other Asians and one of them brought a white and she was like oh He's up to that shenanigans. That's where this comes from someone. She knows brought a white to a group. She didn't like the white That's what you guys do things that are like shenanigan like so do you like what I mean

Let's get into it. Should we tell them? What is the shenanigans Pete should we let them in on what they do? No, you guys we really love you guys Want to know what her white shenanigans are what was what happened to her what shenanigans happen pies in face. Yeah And a clown school broke out Well, maybe probably it could have been like some guy said maybe some cova joke Mm-hmm about China, you know, I mean, yeah, it's not shenanigan to me. No, that's just a bad some people have bad jokes Yeah, maybe it's like Like maybe she had dinner with a white guy and he goes where your sticks

Yeah, well, I mean the chopsticks. Well, did she now bring You got to keep that down on you like solid You know me ones on my backpack. Yeah, well, they can't leave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I like eating meatloaf With them. That's our thing. I know. Yeah, that's one of our things. Yeah, you should bring them Bring a white Bring a white. Don't tell anybody and bring a white this this this holiday season Surprise your friend family with a white. Yeah, what's white shenanigans Rudy? Explain to us. I don't know. You're young You know, you know what's going on. No, but you're progressive. Maybe like

you know, sometimes like White people are kind of like entitled mm-hmm and I find it more all white people are entitled. Oh Some some of them are any but I've noticed that sometimes it's mostly white people that are entitled No, no, I think that's interesting. The truth is I think we have a perception. That's true Because I'm also scared of white people. Yeah, it's it's what are you scared? What are you scared of? I don't know because I just feel like because I'm Filipino and Asian

I'm more like at the bottom. Who does that you do you do that or the whites do that? I don't know. It's interesting with some whites You know, I mean feel that but some Asians feel superior like the Koreans and the Korean and like Chinese They always feel that but the problem is there's an Asian hierarchy of who thinks who's better than the other one I guess. Yeah, so that's a you thing. So don't blame it on the whites Take that Asian I Don't feel superior, but I can see how

Yeah, but I can see how there are certain things I don't have to think about day to day that Maybe people color have to struggle with their think about and so that's like my life easier. Very woke. See she's woke. She's aware Well, that's true Some people. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's true. There's a some truth to that. There is. Yeah, there's a nugget in there Yeah, for sure. I think that when Bobby walks somewhere He's given the utmost freedoms Goofy short Asian guys, you're no no one is No one thinks anything negative immediately about you. You're not gonna walk in a store and they're gonna be like watch out for this one

You're just gonna be you The most of time if you walk in a store, they go look at that little cartoon character come to life Because that's what you look if I owned a shop and you walked in I go I go look at this guy. I might take a picture of Really unbelievable. I go we got to get a photo of this little guy. Honestly. You see the legion guy that came in here. Yeah Like you literally like I used to have a GI Joe Mm-hmm, and they put fake hair on the eyebrows and the head you literally Yeah, Joe, you don't even look like you're here like it was like placed on you in a factory

It was on the white factory Really places you'll never be able to get to go to you know, that's the entitlement. We have is that we are made in a factory Whites are made in a factor in a factory Cool to design my own white Make a white They should have that in Asia build a bill. I would love to build a bill. Yeah, build a bill build a bill Yeah, I I'm William right like each like you walk in and there's a hair. Yeah, right? So like blonde is like it'll say $20. Yeah black. You know, I mean $6 red free free free

Yeah, yeah, it's like it's not even a thing. It's on the ground You don't be like hay or it's on the ground, you know, I mean yeah pick it up like this is free You know, I mean that's number one number and they realize it's just dyed Asian hair. Yeah, yeah, dyed red. Yeah, it's a rat hair What else could you get pigmentation? Well, you picked our belly size too for sure What do you mean whites have a lot of rotund bellies, right? So like maybe I'll get the percricer You can have like maybe comics should be the body types right you get the feel the jazz juzzenleck, which is probably Optimal very expensive. Yeah, that's a good bond. Yeah. Yeah, I want to get the juzzen like odds

$495 what about the crusher? How much is that? 450 but then with coupon it's $2 Right like what there's a coupon yeah, right so I do that and then Um, so do you have the height that height? Oh, hi. So you have the Brad Williams Brad Williams package Yeah, yeah, children. There's a two children or Like you wouldn't you wouldn't have a separate division. No Well, why not and children you would just put them in the one thing. I don't know. You think so Oh, yeah, I can't do something for the bit

We're cutting purposes for editing purposes. Yes, we should have a separate to me That's a big store build a white would be a little I would be great build your white build your what's your perfect white friend? Build your perfect white friend that Rudy. Okay Five ten, okay It's crazy. Oh, no, I'm thinking about a guy. I'm gonna to go with a girl 57 black hair Your nose I got a nice nose. Yeah, thanks rude

Go to titties titties Okay, okay, you get there no lips. No lips. No lips. Most whites don't have good lips Yeah, and then at all. Yeah, is that you're saving money at the store No eyebrows and then Maybe medium-sized boobs medium size. Yeah, what's medium? What's medium to you? What size is medium in a bra? What's mean to you in your mind? What's medium 36 B is that what's medium to you juice? If a girl medium-sized boobs on the phone you would assume she's what?

Probably like D I don't they go to like 26 sizes. Yeah, D is medium because they go. I always thought D was big am I wrong They're not big for me because they go like all the way to Z No, they don't And then they go back to double a double B double D's. I think most people when they hear D They think of double D's. Am I learning something? There's no Z But it goes like to G and H. We're selling part. What's deli parten cup sizes range from double a the smallest to K

Is the biggest? Oh, that's a nice double. So I think when guys think D's they're thinking double D's Mmm. Is there a double K? Probably gotta hope not. Yeah double K breasts. There's only took triple K Where are those titties That's so I don't remember how we even got to How did we get from what we were doing into this? I forgot building a perfect light. Oh, that's right She was building a white. Oh, you're building a white. Yeah. All right. What are you gonna name your wife? Yeah Kimberly Kim burly is that three names?

Yeah, so she's an Asian Lee Yeah, Kim Burr. No, just one name then Kimberly Whoa, so her first name is Kimber and her last name is Lee. No Kimberly What's a white last name? I mean pick any pick anything name an inanimate object and just name it. It's like Bob coffee. That's a white. That's a white guy Kimberly plant 100% a white person yeah Google Kimberly plant and see I know you know, there's one. I bet there's one in probably LA

Is that poison Ivy's like Wait, Kimberly Queen ferns fresh from Florida a dense evergreen fern shapely. That's a real plant Kimberly plant Are you single now rude? No. Wow still with them. What's going on there? Nothing, I'm getting bored, but you're getting bored with him What when you say stuff that he hears it hurts this feeling you're gonna get a fight with him. Okay. I'm not getting bored Yeah, yeah, but it's a Bobby Can I say it? Yeah, I don't know what you're gonna say

something The Bobby brought a girl over oh And I told him what if she's crazy and she comes here and then she kills all the dogs and cats This is a valid question What did you say? That it's not like, you know, I vet people but hold on and yes, I agree with you But also she doesn't give up. Yeah, that's how crazy she is Yeah, she doesn't care about her killing

You or her she's like, what if she kills the cats and dog? That's so interesting. That's her instinct is not instinct What if this woman comes over and murders me? It's Bobby. What if she kills the dogs imagine this house is on fire? You're outside with all the animals. Yeah, I'm still That's what will happen such a high likelihood by that's what I live downstairs. If the house catches on fire downstairs There's no way out from upstairs. She's leaving you also getting the three cats. It's not gonna be easy She'll get down. Yes, yeah And I'm gonna be on fire. So what if you thought what if this girl? Kills the animals. That was your honest question

Mm-hmm. What do you I mean? How do you even answer that? I'll call the cops. Yeah, well, I mean, there's things that it's I fucked up, right? But it's your fault. What if your boyfriend kills the animals? Yeah, but he's been there for like I Don't know. He's seen how many times they've been there two times. Does he sleep over? No, he can't because because you say no No, you can I tell you can his parents are strict Of course, how old is he? 19 but he's been he's been with me for six months. I forgot that you're 21 and he's 19. Oh, that's right

It's not like share. Oh my god, do you see shares boyfriend? No What what happened? He's he's 40 years younger than I love it. Well, oh really? Yeah, look at share. Yeah, hell. Yeah share Look at share. Okay. That's not bono. How old is this guy when I bought what's his name bono sonny bono? That's a bono. Yeah. No, what's this gentleman's name? Maybe I'm very incorrect share 76 He's 36. Wow Alexander Edwards she's 76 40 years could you date someone 40 years different than you older? Well, if it was younger, it would be a 10 year So, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. Could you date a four-year-old a 96 year old woman?

Well, no, you're you'll be 91. Yeah, 91. Yeah, 51 91 year old. Well, I mean, there are certain things we can't do Well, like what? All right, so things we can't do is like surf are you you're not a big surfer? Right, but you can't just name stuff you don't do them at all I know but I still might want to in the event that later in life you catch the surfing bug I want to get tubular I get it. I get a dog, right? So she can't serve right she can't The hikes probably not that deep Timeout real quick. You don't even hide you don't hike I've had before though

Since I've known you right, right, maybe one hike, okay So let's do stuff that you do that she can't do that you actually do in your bodily real life real life, right? Yeah, all right She probably couldn't Go to the comedy store why it's late. Oh, you're saying she'd be tired Because we're on Ron Jeremy used to go yeah, right Ron Jeremy used to go to the comedy store Sit in the back booth and he would fall asleep and you'd be performing you could hear Ron Jeremy snoring Yeah, I don't want that right right. I don't want to completely fall asleep or die

Well, there's a chance of dying too. Well that but that's gonna happen in general. You're in love with this woman She's gonna die if she dies. I understand that but the thing is if the odds of her dying like if I brought you know Andres to the comedy store the odds of him dying sitting in the room is probably One in a million less, but yeah, probably I'd say about one in ten grand Yeah, maybe ten one in ten thousand. Yeah, the odds of my wife dying is one in ten Right, I can't risk that right because then I got it. I'm on stage She you know, I mean she died somebody yells All right, I go. I mean the middle of all set up and you're killing killing. Yeah

Yeah, and so I'm gonna have to finish my set. I gotta finish. Yeah, you have to right Thank you. I'm Bobby Lee minutes left Then you got to go right and then but it's hard to do a set when they're doing CPR Yeah, one two, right? You're still crushed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's what the Samoan said Yeah, pineapple juice for everybody whatever the punchline Right, and it's not getting the last it's weird, right? And then you go back there and then you have to feign Sadness, oh, yeah, okay, right because I feel like when you're 51 and your wife's 91 you're pretty much prepared to the death

So when it happens not that shocking you just knew you just did you wish it didn't happen at work, right? And you would say that to her. All right, well forget the car. You would hold her hand. You would hold her hand Yeah, yeah, and you'd go that's what you get for trying to steal my moment I Like that right and help it run help it. Yeah. Yeah. I can't get that set back Yeah, I was can't what else can I do? Um, so they're writing horses. You don't write I know But what do you do now that she can't she cannot eat a hundred cupcakes a day for example? Good call back from the last podcast very good. You do callbacks from other podcasts, and I love I gotta tell you

It's a deep cut as you're as one of your best friends. Yeah from the way. It's laid out right now I don't see this being that big of an issue. Okay. I thought the final thing I mean it Cuz cuz you're limited, huh? Old people love to fuck I understand the highest transmission of STDs in the United States is between the elderly now at old folks homes Because they are all fucking and they don't care. Yeah, they're ready to go out. I think you could have sex with her Yeah, some people like to eat pizza. That's been the refrigerator for four days. I love cold pizza. I don't like it Really? Yeah, you don't like cold ham. I don't like anything like a roast beef sandwich You know sometimes you don't like an old roast beef sandwich. Yeah, I don't like it. You don't like your eggs runny

Like I don't like Colonel milk really yeah Juicy okay Could you date could you date at 40 years difference at your 32? Right? Are you 32? Yeah, so 72 year old Could you date a 72 year old dude? That's as close to this relationship as as You would be closer to this cuz she he's 36, right? Or what does he say 36 right 36 and she's 76 It seems awful. I was kind of making fun of Bobby Well, who's at the comedy store that's 72 Argus

Could you date Argus Hamilton? No, no With room you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you You guys when I bought my car I use room room is the better way to buy your next ride You never have to haggle or negotiate the price of a car So you know you're getting a good deal thousands of cars available on vroom.com You can make sure you get the ride you really want so you don't have to settle with vroom You can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you That's where the worst Andrew the worst is going out to those lots

In the heat walking around I hate roaming around some guys. I go. What are you looking for? Yeah, and I don't like that man Yeah, plus all the colors on vroom.com come with a 90-day limited warranty and a one-year of roadside assistant nationwide Giving you peace of mind while you're on the road trade in your old car by the way got an old junk or bunker sitting around When you buy your new one or you can even just sell your car to vroom straight up when you sell your car to vroom You get a price instantly Bobby bought his online because you know Bobby's not gonna go into a dealership and haggle with some guy Hello, he's just gonna have it done from the convenience of the internet from the comfort of his own home You can buy a car from vroom entirely done online next time you need to buy a car grab your phone Go to vroom.com and check out thousands of cars

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It's gross throw those things out and get yourself a body buffer I've been using manscape stuff for a long time now not just to trim my schnoz with the weed wacker Also trim up my boobs and now the body buffer is nice and comfy on my shoulders and my back and my bum grab yourself some manscape today Let's say you you fell a little with a guy, right and And then he he was he was caught in a fire in his car his car caught in fire So he has like burns on his face like he's he looks like Harvey Dent, right, right? I don't know who's Harvey Dent show her. Yeah, two faces Harvey that two two face by the way You know, you know speaking of which Jay Leno sir is fine like okay. That's Harvey that okay, but that's the whole face

The whole face is like hit that side. Yeah, just a face Yes, it doesn't have to be the body. Yeah, his body suffered burns as well Yeah, the whole body's and burns the car was on fire. It didn't shoes where it burns. Yeah, yeah, the whole thing got burned Okay, right and he's handicapped, right? I bet you you would leave And we've been in love before you you were deeply in love. How long no, he was a stranger You're you're you're dating for deck for a decade that can you've been married for ten years ten years married or dating for ten Yeah, you're in love. He gets in a fire. He's in a wheelchair, right? He goes What's the chance of a burnt person dying

Let that sink in Let that sink into for a second let the room listen to that What's the uh, what is the chance of a burnt person dying and let that sink in in your heart Cuz I can stay with him for like two years So you're giving a limit on that on if somebody has a tragedy yeah, wow, right? So you're saying that if you were in a fire, right? I wouldn't want someone to stay with me Well, so you just want to be left you want to be alone. I want to die. Oh My oh you think life is over after that. Yeah, this guy became a notorious villain. Yeah famous famous

I don't want to be a villain. You already are Maybe you'll be in a car accident fire and I'll make you nice again. Yeah, and you won't care about fucking nonsense That's crazy. That's crazy. You're a crazy person. So you would stay. Yeah, you gotta Bobby wouldn't stay Yes, he was I wouldn't yes. He would you know what's so funny? This is how much it really makes me this is how much you Don't know him. Yeah, absolutely. What's he is a loyal loyal dude. He would stay. Yeah, I wouldn't like it Yeah, but that that's a part of life. Yeah, it would suck right that's a part of life, and I would like Hey, that's a part of life, right, right. Yeah, I wouldn't be around Still be together still be together she'd be in a room you'd support her right out higher you'd hire someone to feed her

Yeah, right, right and given the opportunity If she accidentally fell down a couple of stairs, yeah or slipped on the driveway because it was very icing. Yeah, so be it So be it. So be it right. So be it So, you know, but I wouldn't leave her. Okay. I won't leave him then. Okay I'll just be away. You'll be away. Now. What would you every once who I'll say hello? Yeah, I'll say hello when Every Sunday. Yeah, what if he was like Rudy? I'll even clean his butt With your mouth Yeah, oh wow if he was like Rudy

You never come in the room to say hello to me. I was wondering if I could give you some money to maybe just Play with my penis for okay, I'll do it It's money I mean that piece is gonna look like Denny's sausage You're right, I mean he's got to flick it around you figure out. All right now You know now, you knew you know, you see isn't the opposite. She doesn't have she has That's not for you. You would you would stay I might be kind of into it That's what I got about you. You're like just a heart of gold. You're heart of gold. You're hippie at heart. I

Yeah, I was raised by hippies. I think I have that vibe about you when you say hippie out. She's a hippie in real life Yeah, I know. Yeah, I didn't want to say it in the right way to find some things right like if his penis stopped working You know, what do you do you collect crystal? I mean, I would not see how hippie you are what your level of crystals I have a lot of crystals. Are you being real? Yeah, but most of them were given to me by my parents. Oh Yeah, oh Do you Do the oils like patchouli and anything you do oils instead of perfume? Oh

Yeah, I do like What do you call them like tinctures? Yeah, tinctures. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so what do you do all natural deodorant and stuff like that I do like non-aluminum deodorant, but I don't like read the ingredients. All right. Look at that Please. Yeah, um, is it Sometimes yeah, it's a grizzly. I don't have like it the same every day, right, but you ever see it or no, yeah Oh, that's not she she she shaves her legs and stuff. Okay. Do you shave your armpits? Yeah. Do you wish you didn't have to? Yeah, sometimes I think I have the thoughts of like why am I doing this because yeah, it's like

a thing that humans grow hair and it feels like it to shave your legs is like a Thing to make you look like a little girl because that's when you don't have hairs when you're pre puberty But I still do it because it feels good. That's interesting. I've never heard of that before. Do you think that's true? I I think that's what a woman's perspective of it is but as a man. Do you think that why do I like shaved legs? Yeah, because I don't like hairy legs I think it's just a normal I don't think men or women think about like oh I'm looking like a little girl, but I think that's been why it's like attractive to us like if a woman had if a woman had hair if like

If a woman had hairy legs and was like I refused to shave, but I would but I loved her I Just I guess you would just get used to it, but I don't I don't love it But yeah, I mean, but are we conditioned to like that or like are we conditioned to like smooth legs? Yeah, yeah, because we see hair and we associate that with men because men have very hairy So they did that for hundreds of years then you probably did it when women shaving your leg start as a woman I imagine But then there's women I know that our girlfriends that say they like they like shaving their legs

I like smooth and no don't want hair saying yeah So what does it say in the 1920s the new fashion for sleeveless tops and short dresses meant that the legs and armpits of American women were now visible in social Situations and advertisers sees the opportunity to encourage women to shave their legs That's how long it was. It's not even that far a hundred years before the 1920s. They used to say grizzly people walking women walking around Yeah, baby, that's insane like that. It's weird looking to me. And that's what that I may ask you something. I'll be honest Just be honest though, right, but you love her. Okay, I do, right? I do, right? And she's like come on my way. Yeah. Yeah. What are you thinking? I'm an alcoholic. Oh, you'll be an alcoholic Yeah, yeah, that's my that's our version of her. Yeah. Yeah, by the way, that's insane

You you you do know how crazy that is. She's obviously shaved her toes because there's no fucking way Your legs are that hairy and your feet have no hair on them whatsoever. There's no fucking way, right? I feel like the wokest person here, and I don't feel like she's pretty mmm very pretty I don't know her personality might fucking suck but who knows but she's like into you I know how to do it and she's like I don't want to shave my legs. I know how to do it. What do you do? It's easy, huh? I would go spill a bottle in there on her No, no, no, whoa. No, I go You know something that's very important to me is

You know not fucking guys. No, no, no, let me finish. Yeah, right something very important to me is um Every girlfriend and I have always had we were swimming team You shave your legs with her and I shaved my legs too because we're faster Yeah, in the water way has nothing to do with visuals, right? I just like winning. All right I get it, right? So that's a you know, I mean a huge thing for so you sucker her in their dynamic reasons I like it, right shave your legs and then she goes well do not my armpits. I don't need that, right? I can leave those hairy. It does affect it. I have a second. You know, I mean that's so I just prefer everything So you'll go through this painstaking process of you shaving your whole body and learning how to swim because I don't

So it's like I have learned how to swim. Yeah, I'll get in shape Yeah, but I would go through that process to get her to shave her legs What would you do to get her to shave her leg? Yeah, I would say I'd like you to shave your legs And she would go no and I'd go this is over I know what would you do I I would go You know look, I'm very attracted to you. I love you. I Love you. I love you already. Yeah, and and I would like and I think we should be more open about our Preferences of one another like I'm sure there's things that I do that you don't really like that much

And I'd like you to be candid with me and tell me what I do that you don't really like But that's what Andrew think about this. You give them the power first. No, you start doing the thing That they don't like right right and then when they say when they say I don't like when you do that I'll stop doing it if you start shaving your legs. Yeah, you'll do it in exchange. That's right. That's it Right. That's how you do it. Give it exactly right. Yeah, so what is something that she doesn't like? She doesn't like she I she goes I don't like when you poop with the door open Right, and I said well, I love it because I like the dog to be able to come in and out of right All right, it's one of my favorite things and eventually she goes, you know, this is like a red flag for me

Go, you know, I'll make an exchange right you shave your legs speaking of flags. I'll say that yeah Yeah, I'll put up a little speaking of flags. You already have it and I'll throw it right at her legs Right, so that's I think that's so my swimming and you're nothing. That's too good. That's good Yeah, would that be convincing girls? Do you think that's a is that a good exchange? I'll lose I'll stop doing something that knows you right. Yeah, I think that's the good way to do it What do you do you care? It's interesting. It's like I Do understand why it's probably annoying to shave your legs, but do you like having your legs shave? Does it feel nice? I don't really care. So if it's so tiring

So I don't really do it. So if you if it was up to you, you would your leg is a hairy right now Let's look at your leg. It's even ashy. Yeah, there's no hair. Well, that's a moisturizing problem There's no hair on your life. I don't really grow hairs, okay, but let's I Is shaving your armpits annoying? Yeah, that's annoying. Do you wish you didn't do that? Mm-hmm, but here's what I might say in defense of that Armpit hair makes your pits smell more. That's what I noticed. Yeah, when you do have hair It stinks it fucking stinks. So that's an advantage. Yeah, you would say that

It's just weird in the show and you're like, I'm getting beautiful Well, obviously it's social you're you're on to something juice it's obviously a social construct by a dude to try to But differentiate these advertising sales like this is what a pretty woman looks like a young pretty Woman looks like this leg. These are the legs. Well as a society We were conditioned to think that way before the 1920s no dude went Hey, can you shave your legs? They never even thought of doing it. I'm sure a couple of guys were keen I'm sure I know what do you really I'm sure there was a couple of pioneers back then Yeah, and they're like really yeah, but not the vagina probably no, but I don't but hair but vaginas don't get that hairy

Yeah, I mean they do but like Like I've had vaginas over the course of my life that are like not like trimmed up and I don't give a fuck But that's also not it's it also you can turn into a game, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a safari My safari Yeah, yeah, there's the cave I think wonderment Yeah, I think that should be the standard then if we want to if we know other guys the things that guys that you want guys to do that So I like I actually like hairier guys Oh, so if a guy was like shaving his legs, I would be like not into that

Yeah, but I don't have a lot of hair on my body, so I would have to get hair We've got to get you some hair. Yeah, I would You know we have extra body hair laying around over at bill to bill come on over to bill to bill Oh bill to bill we get you some white hair. Yeah, but I'm Asian. There's no, uh, huh? There's no bill to gook That's too hairy. Yeah, so that's too hairy. Yeah, that's yeah that see that's great that guy's got a sweater That's too that's too hairy. I think so. Yeah, I know I do that's that hairy. I have friends like that, too Yeah, I know people like that. That's not too abnormal. I guess I'm lucky. I have no I'm like you. I'm like a little Asian boy. I have no hair. Yeah. Yeah, that's why that's why I do a podcast with you

To be honest with you, that's incredible. That's so much air. Yeah, that's a lot and they don't like when you shame them Well, no my friend What I got a minion I don't know what he is Good guy. Yeah, good guy and one time we were at the spa and I heard his feelings What did you say? Well because you get naked right at the Korean spa was like two in the morning He took his clothes. I went And he goes he's not don't he goes don't do that. I know why that's funny Yeah, he's like, I know I'm self-conscious about my hair and I had to sit down. I go, you know, I'm so fucking sorry that because he was really hurt

It sucked but I laughed It's because would you have laughed? Yeah, a hundred percent if I did that though. Yeah, you would have probably jumped on a cabinet and did a thing You know me and you know, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't like Yeah, yeah, yeah, so good. I didn't like it. I get it. It's self-conscious. It's very self-conscious I they do get so very self-conscious and I'm sure well, we all have our things. Yeah, we do. We all have our little things Yeah, what is your thing? I think like I think I don't like I Never I mean I never it doesn't bother me, but red-headed thing is always kind of like a

It's an easy stupid joke that people can make like it's just like a because I look it's so obvious that I'm there Yeah, it's funny like growing up. I when I saw redhead people. I never thought of that But we're always the but of a joke until later in life people made jokes Everybody and then in my mind. I was like, oh, we should make fun of them then Yeah, but it's like not something that I instinctually thought what people are very comfortable making fun of or taking like a dumb shot at a red head It's it's like annoying when adults do it. Yeah, it's stupid like a guy. I'll like a guy will say like Like they'll use a child term like a firecrotch term where it's like It was funny when we were kids. I got why people laughed when we kids

But then as an adult you're like this is so lame, but it's like it's such a common, but it's almost like We're like the last bastion of you can make fun of and everyone collectively agrees It's okay to make fun of red heads Yeah, those old school way if I went to a black guy and I was like, oh, and I said something about his hair Oh my god, I mean, right exactly. Yeah, and everyone communally would be like you can't do that But if a black dude was like look at this orange ass motherfucker, everybody would laugh Yeah, I've noticed every it's like we're the only ones you're allowed to make fun of without someone going. Hey, man That's not okay. Yeah to a group. I mean groups

But I feel like that's like, you know years ago when I used to do the road every show and I used to count I would I would tell openers to check this out every show afterwards. Some white person will come up to me and do an Asian accent Mm-hmm, and they'll come up to go misery very funny to an enemy or something like that And I had to eat it right. Yeah, but that hasn't happened in like 10 years Well, you guys when you come see us on the road Yeah in your city If you do that if you have the balls to do that well, no, they will they absolutely will Okay, this is how I don't let's get them. We let's give them one phrase that they have to say they have the balls

They have to be a crazy sentence. Okay. All right, so what it's what's crazy? You know me you tell me. Yeah. Yeah Flat face That's good. Hey, hey flat face. Yeah. Yeah Harrow Harrow for our face, right? That's a good opener, right? It's strong. Yeah. Yeah Little dick make Harrow Harrow, flat face. Little dick make

Ching Chong, little dick make Ching Chong Little China something about little China. Yeah What is that what's the phrase I'm thinking of big Tokyo little Tokyo, what is it? Don't we can wait big trouble little China big trouble little China. Oh, that's good. So thank you Pete. Yeah, hey um, fly phrase What's what is it? He's just big trouble little China we're trying to go movie. No, no, no When I see what say when I see your Well, you say I want because I want to hear from a white person. Nope. Hey, pray for a phrase, right?

When I see Ching Chong, I want big trouble in little China. That's right. So that's a line And I want you to say with a thick accent and show and you know what if you do say you get a hug from me Big hug a big hug and you get a kiss from me But you have to say it loud so everyone around you can hear it the whole room. You can't whisper it. Yeah You can't do that. No, yeah. Yeah, you can't you got you got to go like this I love how you were like, I love how you just were like, I had to put up with it for years and I hated it now You miss you miss the racism. Let me say something to you. Yeah, thank you for being a bad thank you for being a bad No, no, thank you more. Thank you and the holidays are approaching us

I can't wait and and every time we do the show now until the end of the year I want all of us to end the show by saying one thing that we're thankful for Rudy. Go ahead I'm thankful For being in the bad friends podcast. Okay, I don't believe that but that's very nice very nice juice I'm thankful for all of my friends and family. Lovely Pete I'm thankful for my beautiful children my wife Gay, why so gay and then I'm thankful for you guys

I'm thankful for my bathroom because of the toilet. It's fancy. It's got a little mechanism in the side It's got 80 options, right? So gyrating, you know, I mean, do what do you call it? You can do they you got it, right? Do they is a bed cover? What Vidae bidet? Good day Does it say it on the thing? Can I start over? Go ahead

So I'm thankful for my bathroom, right? It has a gyrating, 80 options I think you missed the point of what I was doing. What were you doing? Trying to get everyone to say something nice. Yeah, I like that. So the toilet is what you're thankful for Everybody in this room. Thanks. Yeah, but they're basically Oh, they're lying. She's lying. I'm thankful for your bad friend. I'm not lying. I believe it. I believe her I'm thankful for um My life, thank you Lord Wow, what wow, it's your life or the shitter do yours

Do yours and get out. I am thankful for your friendship. All right That's because it means a lot to me. That's what you don't mean because when I call you. Yeah And you know how excited I get when I hear your voice The moment you say hello, I get a smile on my face and I go hey Bob Because I'm thankful Okay, do my over Mm-hmm. I'm thankful for if you say the toilet again That's what I want to say

Thank you for you. All right. Thank you for being your bad friend