Bad Friends - Yellow Cave of Wonders
Episode Date: March 30, 2020Click for Bad Friends Clips! bit.ly/BadFriendsClips Thank you to our sponsors: https://www.manscaped.com code: badfriends & https://www.joinhoney.com/badfriends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly.../BadFriendsYouTube Bad Friends is a comedy podcast with hosts Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino. More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor
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Hey
Do you want to see some bad friends click on the link below click on the link below to subscribe to the bad friends clips page
So you can watch the condensed clips page of me and Bob
Fuck
You think my head is fucking Bobby
Have you ever seen your head
Portion to my body
Gigante
I'm just happy that you're watching the show. Yeah, that just shows that you really watch the episode
No, no, no, listen, I have to because people keep sending me the links. They keep sending me the clips
Why cuz I didn't talk any shit about you griff. Oh
About the the vitamin I think mac and cheese is vitamin
You're so dumb dude, I'm dumb. Yeah. Yeah, I'm dumb. You're a lipless fuck
I'm a lipless shave your fuck. Look at how tiny your little bullshit lips are you fucking ramen lips?
God fuck you bad. He was making you like fuck the upper lip. Did you get did you have sex this morning?
Why cuz you're in a good mood. I feel great
Yeah, you don't load somehow whether you jerked off to fortnight or something, but you did something
I don't know. Did you think in your eyebrows? Did you thin your fucking eyebrows?
Look at that. Look at that. That looks like someone took a crop shear through those fucking things
Do can you grow them out or is that as long as they get?
You want to go toe-to-toe? I want to go in front of you, man
Yes, you are you can't yes, you are you said did I thicken my eyebrows? I came in here with a positivity man
Positivity you attacked me twice in a row and is that positive? I would just you're starting a fire. You don't have a upper lip. Who doesn't have a fucking upper lip?
You you don't have a fucking upper lip. Look at your lip. Sorry Andreas. Hey, Andreas
Yeah
Yeah, how are you feeling today? Dude? Are you feeling good? I feel great. You know why?
Tell me baby boy because I've been playing video games and it really makes me feel good
I've been playing stardew valley. Oh stardew valley
I know how much you love stardew valley love stardew valley so much and I started with a new farm and
It's just in sync right now, baby
But I lost books too many lost books
I have the new
Ability to chop trees down and get hardwood
That's a nice asset and I also have the thing where you get to go the crap pots
And it doesn't have junk stuff in it. It has like lobsters and all the good stuff
So I have that ability and I have truffle oil going and
Duck mayonnaise and it's real good. Oh, this sounds so cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's great
It's a great game because you're constantly
You have to think ahead through the seasons, you know and go of course
I need to get ancient fruit going which is ironic because you don't do that in your real life at all
What do you mean? You don't think ahead about stuff in your real life. My whole life is thought ahead. Is it? Yeah, bro
We really think do you even know where I'm at in life? Do you know where you're at in life?
I'm doing fucking good with no education. I know you felt you fell face first in the luck. You're basically Kramer
You're cream fuck you your Kramer to me. I look in the mirror. You're Kramer
You fell face first into luck. You shouldn't this shouldn't what you are Timothy McVeigh. Love
Personal murder personal hero murder. Yeah, so keep running your fucking mouth and see what happens. All right
Yeah, that's the kind of person you are in your heart. You went you had a nice
Italian-Irish Chicago family that steered you this way, but your heart could have gone either way. No, no
No, no, my heart was the right way lasted two or more three more times. You would have been McVeigh, bro
I don't remember the first couple of times. Yeah, it didn't happen as far as I'm concerned. Yeah
Yeah, you know why you were a kid. That's why so were you know I was molested so much
No way. I was a free for all you were ugly when I met you
I was a free for all as a kid. How many times you get molested for real
12 times no way. Yeah, what do you mean? No way? Fuck you. I was prove it. I'll show you the scars
You only got molested twice. No, I have 12 times. Oh, boy
1212 times 12 to 15
So why I was a cute kid that's not why they molested you why do you think it was you're easy to manipulate
They could trick you so easily and get molested. Yeah
You were just simple. You're a simple man. You've been eating a lot, huh?
Your face as actually your face has gotten a little chunker. I like it. I
Do I do I like your face before you being serious
No, honestly, because do you really think I look a little bit a little chunkier. I like it that way
That's cuter. Wait really do I seriously? Yeah, you really do your face. I fucking shaved
I should look I should look when I saw your face or like what the fuck is going on with his face? Maybe it's the corona
Scare or whatever. I've been eating a lot. Yeah, I mean so much. It's it's really it's nice
It's filling out. It's filling out. Yeah, because before you're doing like this Hollywood like I'm gonna make it kind of a vibe
And now you've covered your face has given up
It's cool
Because I'm hungry all that I'm sitting around the house all the time. Hey, fuck you man. You're great. You've gained some weight
You know what I've been doing and ask fucking kalayla
Every night one hour of Peloton and I brought I busted out the weights, bro
Are you seriously lifting weights? Oh, yeah, and you know by the end of this fucking thing
I'm gonna look like fucking same. You're gonna look the exact same. No, I'm fuck you. You're gonna look the same
I'm gonna look like jet Lee's thicker jet
It's gonna jumbo jet Lee. You're gonna be jumbo jet Lee
Let's make a monetary bet that you're not gonna let's make a monetary bet that you're not gonna
You're not gonna change. You're you're gonna be the same weight. You I'll give you a pound and a half
You know, it's rude that you say I love it. No, just keep talking that way because I love challenges
I love naysayers and I love negative people. Well, here's the thing nay-nay. I say nay
I
Came in here. I honestly think that you you've changed a little bit through this through this
Um, screw us doing the show together. No, since the show
You've now and since this quarantine and since the corona coronavirus. Yeah that you've become
Little paranoid. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, probably it you know
It could do it could have something to do with the over 20,000 people that have died
It could have something to do with the fact that it's affecting people of all ages around the entire world
It's an international pandemic. It could be due with the fact that people are losing their jobs
But could we do the fact that shelves are being emptied out of groceries or could be due to the fact that people are fighting over toilet paper?
It could be due to the fact that why the fuck aren't you panicking? Of course. I'm freaking out. I'm doing my due diligence
What is your due diligence Bob? I haven't left the fucking house except for this thing for here
Yeah, right number number two. I wasn't even gonna come same. Yeah, I know yeah
We didn't we didn't want to do it. We don't want to do it, but we're 5.75 feet away. I measured
Okay, yes, and number three. I have to make an apology by the way
A couple of months ago. I'm not a month ago. Maybe three weeks ago two weeks ago. I don't know what day it is
I I was on my brother's vlog and I said that way Lee the fucking
The fighter the straw straw weight champion of the UFC. Yeah, I called a coronavirus
You called the fighter coronavirus. Yes. Yikes
Fuck you because it was before Trump said
Calling it a Chinese virus and all that kind of stuff right before it was a thing
So why did you why did you call the fighter a coronavirus?
Because I thought it was funny
At the time I thought it was funny. Yeah, and then I go
So I want to apologize to way Lee and I wanted and I want to apologize to
You know all the Qingchang's out there that you that might be offended. Here's the thing though
I'm Qingchang to number two you are you Americans like there was this
Asian kid that was in a Walmart
Whatever and he coughed and a bunch of white people started, you know screaming at him going, you know, I mean you Chinese, you know
You guys started you know started. I want to say this first of all, why is an Asian kid in Walmart?
Well, you think she'd be a Costco. What do you mean? Mm-hmm? Why could he's cheap? No Walmart is ours. That's that's for whites
Where we buy guns and tires
You can only claim that if you if only China if Chinese things are being made and sold at fucking Walmart
Everything is Chinese things. Well, then there's a Chinese thing Chinese thing Chinese thing Chinese thing Chinese thing Chinese thing
Okay, I say this. Yeah, if your liver was made in China, you'd be Chinese
My liver is mine
It's still Chinese though. You would be Chinese
You that's like the stuff that's inside the Walmart if it's Chinese is Chinese
So if it's in Chinese then then I'm Chinese because I buy it and purchase it. You can't just say something
So you got on a blog. No, no, I want to see about the Walmart. Yeah, so I
I I want to claim this. I've been in an American longer than you have
I've been an American longer than you have when did you get your citizenship? I was born here
So I'm older, but don't they make you apply still
Right and so um, yeah
The racism out there when it comes to this this fucking fire. It is real. It's real. Yeah, and it's and it's gross and
Um, you know, I don't know anything. Just I don't know anything about Asia. I
Don't wait. No, just hear me out. I don't wake up and you know, it's like when I wake up. Yeah, I don't think to myself
I'm Asian. Well, no
I'm Korean, you know, I don't it doesn't even enter my thoughts. It doesn't even strike your mind when I wake up. I go
Oh, you're hongo, right or you know, I mean, honky. Yeah, my left foot itches because I have a foot thing
Right or like I have other issues, but when you leave the house, I never think about it
So do you never get in a situation where you where somebody makes you feel like? Oh, I I'm Asian
That's only one. Yeah, that's what I go out into the world and people say shit. Like, you know, yeah
You know what if an old white man goes? Yeah, I
If I'll be at Starbucks. I fought in the Korean war. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about that. Yeah
Yeah, that makes you then you go. Oh, God. Oh, why would you? Oh, yeah, I'm Asian, right?
But that's the only time so I don't feel Asian
I feel and I'm like an American but you have no connected you but you have connectivity to your Asian heritage
Don't you like in one way I meditate, but so do you yeah, but but do you but do you have?
Like do you have anything family tradition wise that that is that's Korean that you take? Oh, yeah
I buy my feet I walk on people's back and I do the gong and I and I have also stars and
The ninja outfit. What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't say any of that shit
I mean fuck. Are you talking about family traditions? Do you have what do you mean food that your mother cooked for you?
That was yeah, yeah, I go to Panda Express. Is that then? Okay?
You're doing this not me. Yeah. Yeah, I go to Panda Express. I go to P.F. Changs. Is that what it is? Both of those places are Chinese
No
So you have no there's no traditional things. There's no I do things that are like I
Guess physically Korean like, you know older Korean men
Walk around the malls with their hands behind their back. I love I do that now. Yeah, that's it's okay
So you do some Korean stuff, but that's not it's not a cultural thing. I think it's just a it's definitely a cultural thing
That's literally what it is. You just said it old Korean men do it. Yeah for no other reason than it's cultural
That's what they do. Yeah
So your kid that's your connective tissue to your Korean heritage you smoke and you squat when you smoke and you yell at cars
Yeah, I've seen he outside of the studio. Yeah
Well you do Italian things
You're so expressive with your hand. I do more Irish stuff than Italian stuff. Good. No, no, you know
Yeah, you do stuff look it's been a panic moment, but the one thing that saved us is
Has been friends texting friends funny stuff. I've gotten so much funny shit
I want to bring up. You know this man. We talk you and I talked about this man, Bob
I love this man. We talked about this guy and we said he was
Probably one of our favorite
My it was my favorite meme to get it was my favorite little like
Mm-hmm thing to get I should say
Just look at this. This is a collection of photos. We might have to blur this
Do you think we have to blur this would you you don't even blur before well? Well people will see this this
Gentlemen, well, why the tits? Well, so so this is a modification of the original photo
The original photo he has a big black penis. Yeah, yeah many people recognize this man
Here's this is him with the cry in Jordan meme, which I think is just really funny very funny
Yeah, this is the original picture is his face with this. His name is meat. He passed away dude rest in peace
You know he passed away. No when you told I honestly when you told me that the other day because I remember I called you and I said
We should do research about this because this guy, you know me is should be happy about his new outward the internet
You can find nothing. I'm so I swear to God
We don't know his real name a PR person reached out to the to the porno company that owns the rights to this photo
Yeah, it's an old porn star. Yeah, and they they really they will not release his legal name because they say it's not their
Responsibility the family might not want that out. So they just meet is meet is his formal porn name
But he's so talented so talented. I mean here's enough. This one's great
This one is great. You know, I mean, that's really good. Yeah, there's some really good ones going around yet
This is a phenomenal video. I don't know if you've seen this
I don't think anybody actually has a choice. It's a bold package. It's a big package
I
Mean so many I mean, I've gotten non-stop from so many friends a little bit of Bob Ross love
He's gotten there. That's great. This one's phenomenal the old workers on the beam
He's kind of like you know what he's like. He's kind of like
Van Gogh, yeah, yeah, because Van Gogh did all his work without people really knowing about him
It's only when he died. Yeah, when people started appreciating his work. That's true
So it's got a van Gogh kind of a vibe to it. He's got a he's got a very mysterious way about him that I think is
Is why he's it's so like we've seen big black dicks before you and I have seen a lot of them
But this one there's something special about this guy. It's well, it's very special because
Um, the head right sometimes when you see a dick, right the head is bigger than the shaft aspect of it
Yeah, yeah, they call that true. It's called shrooming right shrooming much like mine. Although mine is
The side of the size of one of the veins on his
It's one of the broken veins. Yeah, one of the broken veins is the size of my dick, but hit but his yeah
What's interesting is he's got the sleeve still on right? He's still got the sleeve. He's not circumcised and the sleeve
Still encompasses such a large mass. Yeah, you can't even tell yeah
Sometimes they look the sleeves people who have sleeves at home. It looks like you know ant eaters. They kind of look
Yeah, remember Ren from Ren and Stimpy who's
Yeah, remember that
Ren from Ren and Stimpy sometimes he looks like
Like like Ren and Stimpy has he has a mouth that looks like a the sleeve of a penis or a or a bad vagina
Yeah, look at like this. Look at his mouth right like this. Look at that. Yeah
It looks like a weird vagina or a sleep. Oh, this is the image. That's the one. That's what you were looking for
Yeah, yeah, that kind of looks like this. It looks like a it looks like an ant eater penis or the or a bad lippy vagina
Yeah, it's also like when you when you're I guess having anal sex with another man
I'm not I'm not I've only done it twice, but I'll fill you in go ahead. Yeah
You probably the worry is you're gonna rip you gonna rip
You know me the actual muscle around the anal, you know, the muscle the anal muscle, right? You're gonna tear that
With me it's like he might puncture your stomach along. Yeah, I honestly think that he's probably punctured
Many men. Well, they don't know how he died. There's a lot of speculation on the internet of what killed him if
Maybe I would like to think that he died because all that blood was going to his cock not as hard
Couldn't go back. I don't think I could go back. Yeah, but I think I think getting that meme has been a golden nugget of my day
Because yeah, you're right. I have been panicking. I came in I was panicking we I put up some new some new
Do you like the fish paper? I love it new fish paper and the whole time I was freaking out
Yeah, I just want to talk about
the days
Day-to-day, I want to talk about day-to-day. I honestly and
Before we started this podcast, I was like, I don't even know what to talk about because it's like
I'm a fucking zombie man. I know you wake up. You don't know what day it is
You don't you know, it doesn't matter when you wake up. You don't care. I don't care. I haven't cared. It's really strange this morning
I woke up at 9 a.m. But yesterday I woke up at 3 p.m. You slept till 3 p.m. Yeah
But you didn't go to bed till what time just 7 8 a.m.
Right. That's what I was watching that tiger fucking. Oh, so good. I love that tiger doc a man. I'm Joe exotic
Oh, no, I was watching a nationally geographic tiger doc. Oh
Yeah, I mean you're Joe exotic. I am Joe exotic. Yeah, I
Want to be that other guy Magwan or whatever the guy with a bag on yeah, you want to well his real name is doc Anteel
Is that really doc Anteel? Yeah, you want to be doc Anteel and and the reason being is because well first of all
I'm not gay same not I mean
Yeah, who knows
This is who Bob wants to be yeah doc Anteel
I don't want to be any of these people, but by the way, I don't want to be any
But if I had to choose because he had a harem of women he had a hair. Oh, yeah, he's also um, I
Feel like he took
like
He took, you know
Number one. I want to talk about
How you can manipulate women
With fucking tigers tigers. Yeah, because you know white trash they go hey, honey
You know, I mean, I want to I've always wanted to take a photo with a fucking cub. Yeah, what the cub it gets to a certain age
You know me. It's no longer like it's like Hollywood. Yeah, it's a female girl like girls in Hollywood
It's like Vegas at 21. It's over. Yeah Vegas. You know the pool girls at Vegas
Oh, yeah, buddy lived in Vegas used to say that all the time one of his friends was a pool girl and she's like at 18
You're a fucking commodity. Yeah by 22 23 so funny
You're burnt. There was a you know that hotel the standard at the one in Hollywood. Oh, yeah
Yeah, and they used to have those they used to have this like gigantic like
Window display where models oh would sleep. She would like yeah. Yeah, I remember that right, but I knew a girl
That was an actress, but she that's one of the gigs she had did you get paid good money?
I don't I never asked her that but at one time I wrote something so she's laying there, right?
Right and against the window. I go you're never gonna
And I remember her reading it and just being so angry
You're never gonna make it you have to imagine I'm in the front desk like I'm at the hotel
This is what it looks like. Yeah, right behind my head. Yes
Is a woman a human in a Kate in a cage in a literal glass cage and I'm taking your hi
Well, what room and what room number and this woman is sitting there reading a book or they're on their laptop or they're on their phone
Yeah, and she gets paid to just be in a case nine hours feminism, baby
Yeah, yeah, it's so sad to see like in LA to see
actresses
On the internet trying to be funny and stuff right now, but not only that just come
I remember just remember time where you would see girls at you're at the store
You'd meet them and then three four years later. It's just like they work at the store now
No, they had to get it. I know that this one girl that she was like
I'm an actress that's in that and four years when she got hooked on drugs. She came back
She looked like a homeless bag lady. Jesus. What did she and she was actually successful as an actress at one point
She never made it. Oh, yeah, but you see a lot of that man
Well, dude, I would say you see a lot more people that get a little bit of the thing and then they piss away their money
Get into drugs and then you see them years later and you're like, oh my god. How did you fall so hard?
Oh my god, I have this is the craziest thing. So
When I audition for Matt TV, she's real. I can't tell because this girl came back. Just don't say her name
I know I'm not gonna. Okay
So I remember it was me
It was not 48 49. Fuck you. I
Don't know
No
There was this group so we're so when you're audition, obviously
We have to tell people when you're auditioning and then you get to the final audition. There were six of us
It's called a test a test. Yeah, but the day before the test there was like a producer session
And I was walking out of the producer session with this girl that I knew from the comedy store
She was a comic but also a sketch person and actors. I want to know so I'll tell you later. Okay, and
I at the time we got paid
$4,500 a week. Oh, okay. That was our deal, right?
So when you if you get the show you get $4,500 guaranteed. Yeah, and this girl was like nah, man
Now I need 10 grand
Well as we're walking in the fucking parking lot and she's never done anything never done anything and I looked at her
Go, no, I you know me back then. Yeah, I was not there. I think you should I was a really Asian. I was yeah, what? I ask you to me. No
I was like, I think you should take it. Yeah, yeah, $4,500. Yeah a week. Yeah, nah
We should be getting 10 grand. It's a TV show, man
Right, so she knew something right so
She doesn't get she she bailed out. She didn't test wow and then
12 years later, I
Was at a restaurant. All right, and I'm ordering a meal and
I look up and it's her. She's waiting. Wow
And instead of saying, oh my god, it's good to see you. She said I should have taken it
No, it's stuck with her. Oh my god
All those years yeah, and I go yeah
Yeah, the BLT and a side Caesar salad and a Diet Coke, please. Yes, you should have and our soups are gonna come out soon, right?
Oh my god, how fuck it's so sad, but that happens dude cuz she was too cocky, huh?
She thought she was bigger than the thing, you know, sometimes, you know people think they're bigger than the thing
I guess what guess what the thing doesn't give a fuck about you. Yeah, who was that Trenton, New Jersey answer it. Let's answer it
Put it up to the mic
Hello, I'll be come back to bed. Come back to bed me and all the boys want you to come lay down with us
During our we're only gonna be 16 for a little while. I will call you right back. Love you. I'll call you after my party in a couple hours
Okay, come back to bed Bob
That was the love boat
Is that who that was?
Are you doing the love boat the TV show?
You want to know what that is?
Yes
It's it's an AA meeting that I go to
No, that's not fun. I thought that was a job. No, it's called the love boat. It's called the lifeboat. Oh
And you know, I have a disease called alcoholism and I need to treat it. I know shut the fuck up for a second
I need to treat it by going to meetings and getting contact with other members of AA and if you ever mock me again
I'll rip your fucking eyes. Shut up. Shut up. Support me
That was a Hollywood job. I thought that was a Hollywood show called life love boat. There was a show called the love boat
Yeah, I'm not gonna play that what what's that gopher or whatever his name is
So you're not known to do shows that went away and they're coming back
Are you not known to do television shows that went away that came back
And you did a game show that's just like another game show that already existed
Stop pretending God you do you do some revamped stuff
That's okay. Have you
No
Have you ever done revamped stuff? I've never done a show that existed once that they brought back. All right
First of all, I don't even know bad shows just in general, but so have you mixologies great
Great work, okay. I have it on blu-ray. Okay, great work. Okay. Oh wait make fun of me now
I'm not gonna all right. I respect all your work
We go ahead. No, I like it all I can't wait to see you in this Rob Gunkowski game show
And by the way people have been googling shout out to lifeboat by the way and shout out to
Shout out to people that are in AA and that need help
I'm a product of it. I highly believe in it
Are you being real? You know, I'm a circuit of addiction. What do you mean? You know that? Yeah? Yeah, I really do believe in it in fact I
Think it's such a
You know, there's a lot of people that don't like
Rehab and that don't agree with meetings and they go their own way and all that bullshit. Yeah, I think it's such a great proven reinforcement
That when people that I know that are addicts that don't choose to do it
It's a bummer and there's nothing I can say to change their mind. I know touch your face
Oh, yeah, fuck fuck burn your face put your face over the candle here here here here
Give me the spray spray this on your face. Well, I let me do it. No, it's
It's natural too
If you're listening to this podcast right now, I want you to take a second and look down
Let me see what was the last time you shaved your junk Andrew two weeks ago. It's been a while
Oh, I know it's been two weeks
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They're friends for your partner your body and your nuts. Well, thank you
their friends
Yeah, here I know wait timeout. Let me ask you one thing. I'm being serious
Do you do you think that this pandemic has causing?
addicts to
slip up
No, because I
This morning I woke up the reason why I woke up at nine is because I did a a zoom a meeting and
It works great
But I'm saying do you think there's some people out there that this is really think about like think about this
I'm just putting life in perspective. There's a guy
Who makes an hourly wage? He works hard. He's an alcoholic. He's working struggling. He's recovering and
he lost his job
now we can't work and
Times are tough
No, because if I'm gonna I'm gonna be I would tell you personally I'm telling this would crack me
But I'm gonna tell you you don't understand what it feels like
To actually not being a dry drunk. Mm-hmm. Somebody that refuses to
Use spiritual elements
Because that's what 12-step groups are where there's a spiritual element right a higher power
It's not even just that there is just a feeling that you have right and once that's in your bones and your blood, right?
You're gonna you're gonna know that, you know, this is all
Meant to be I'm at the right. I'm in the right place
I'm gonna live in the moment and you're gonna do all the necessary things to
Keep that condition alive inside you. Do you think because you think getting clean made you a better comic? I
Don't honestly that was you know, people have asked me that and it's like regardless if it did or didn't my life is more
Important than doing stand-up. So in a weird way
the addiction
Helped you really find your purpose in life. I
Know that I can't live
You know with drugs and alcohol in my system it I just I just not made up, you know, I
unraveled really quickly. Yeah, and
I just can see
What I can do is I can look down the road
when I'm using drugs and alcohol I can look down the road and see where this is gonna lead me and that
Destination in my head is enough for me to go. I can stop now. Yeah a step was very real and good
Yeah, I really liked it because you're struggling to crack you call me on the phone
What do you mean?
You sound like you're losing your mind over there with
the
The broad that you live with you talk to her too. I do I
Text her a lot because I want to make sure that everything is good. She has panic. She didn't want us to come do the show
No, you know why?
You know a couple of people have called me and said I don't know about that George and I go
I don't know where he's been. What do you mean because he's in the farms?
Yeah, George honestly, why are people calling me and not to trust you a lot of people are saying that they shouldn't who the heck's
Calling you. I don't want to name names of people put people on the fucking. No, we're not a blow people spot. Yeah
No, I want to know who I know but you are you leaving the house for walks with who?
My cousin
Making it up. What a huge pause. Yeah, you're making it up
What do you mean? You don't you don't take this thing fucking seriously not even a little bit look at me
Have I ever worn one of these things before show for show for show
We had people I asked people to send us in with their what their food rations were we got some good videos
This is Jeremy Roger. He sent this in
Andrew. Hey Bobby. This is Jeremy from Syracuse New York originally from Puerto Rico. I'm just a spic living in New York
You know, it is my pantry and being real quiet because my roommates are out there
This is my secret stash right here and some vinegar chips
Fucking twizzlers Chips ahoy cheese. It's yeah. Yeah, this is my quarantine
Pantry right now. I run out and I'm gonna have to go to the store and
Probably die
We'll see how far this last is probably last
15 minutes because I'm about to get real high right now, so
The peace guys, thank you, but shout out to Jeremy. That's his collection. Yeah, Adam Bullock. I said send in what's in your fridge
What are you eating? Hey bad friends today? We got some pickle juice
Know some wieners no homo a nice towel some Korean cheese
so spice
Eggies some soup some human dog food some human cat food some maple syrup
I drink this straight. We got some liquid eggs
We got a cap and we got you know the baddest butter and then in the freezer. We got some cheese mozzarella
That's the way you know my favorite part about this. Yeah, this motherfucker has a towel in his fridge. Look at that a
Yeah, a towel. Yeah, why there's something in the towel. Look at it. I don't know. He just literally said it's a human
What he says though here? Yeah, a nice towel a nice towel
Yeah
I don't think so saying I have a fucking light bulb. I have a light bulb in here. I've got a couple of screws
I've a tire iron. Yeah, here's Ruben Rocha's
Yo, what's up bad friends? I got stocked old milk. Oh milk
Some yogurts that are probably old
We got ships for days so many chips and a lot of salsas and
That's all we've been doing that's what's up. That's what's up. I love your your podcast. We love you too dog
You too, bro. This is the people some people have some good rations. Look at how many do by the way
How Mexican is this dude? Look at all this. Look at that. All right, but I have that that's Tahin
I have that that's I ain't that's nine types of hot sauce right there
Yeah, and then more hot sauce and Mexican sauce down there. Yeah, man. I love it, dude
What do you have in your house?
Just honestly, yeah, what what have we been eating? Yeah
Talente gelato ice cream every single day. No really breakfast lunch and dinner. Yeah, I make Kaleila order me Lou
Matt not Lou Melnati. So we've done this my favorite pizza from Chicago. So we're getting I just ate seven in a row
Every meal eight seven in a row. I love how at the beginning of this podcast
We talked about losing weight. No, but I would do milk pillow time for an hour. Oh, yeah
That'll make up for it. Yeah, and then I do you know one of those pizzas has like 6,000 calories
Mm-hmm, and the thing is and then here's another thing that they offered another thing that offers 12 pack
Chicago hot dogs. Oh, I made her order that and yeah, and then we oh last night
We got I made her or made her order, you know put Portillo's Bakery port
Porto's Porto's Porto's Bakery, but they can send you stuff. That's not that you can bake it at home
Yeah, so we got 15 boxes of like chuckle chip cookies and
Meat meat pies and all these stunk things. Look at this eating all that now
What's a deep dish did you have from Lou Melnati? I get the pack I get that on Friday pack
Okay, so I get two cheese two sausage and two and two on
pepperonis all right, so there's six seventy there seven thirty there
Wow, you're really good. So
Yeah, wait a minute seven hundred and thirty calories for what though for the whole thing one slice
for the whole thing
One slice it doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck
It doesn't matter seven hundred calories in one slice. How many slices are you eating? I eat the whole fucking thing
I'm not kidding you. I'll eat the whole fucking thing. Will you seriously? Yeah
You eat the whole fucking you can eat like four steepest slices of pizza. It's I cut them into six, but yeah
Oh my god, not in one sitting out in in like a 30 minute period. That's like
Five thousand calories, but then I'll do an hour on the Peloton. I guess that makes up for it
Yeah, how many calories you think you burn on the Peloton? It only says 150. That's like that's like one bite of cheese
I know that's like one bite of a corner of a piece like I ride
But I ride yeah, and for an hour and then at the bottom it'll say you only burned 150 calories
It doesn't make any sense
Maybe it's because your output is not that high. It's not like you're you are you are you doing the class?
I refuse no so you just ride on it. I do free ride
Okay, that's not good, but I'll watch like you should do the class
You know what I love doing is I'll take my fucking. I you know, I love disaster movies. Yes. Did you know that about? Yes
I love deep impact of the core. We all love this volcano volcano. Yeah, I love
The other day after tomorrow. I love the I'm so well I'll watch it
Did you like the rock that one that he did like the earthquake one?
Who did the rock the rock did one about an earthquake in Los Angeles? Oh, I like that one that one was good
I was pretty good. Okay. Good. I like that. Yeah, what do you put it on the screen and watch it?
So I'll watch it
But then I'll look down after I'm done like halfway during a movie and I'll say 150
Calories, so are you just are you sitting are you sitting down riding? Do you stand up and ride and do that thing or no?
I never power ride. Why did you get a palatine Calila did? Yeah, it's for her. Yeah, does she use it all the time?
Yeah, but she does the classes and she'll do the weights. That's awesome. Let's go. Let's do it
Let's make it happen. All right, and I'll watch her on it and I'll I'll just stare at her watch it
And it's my turn and then casual
But at least something and I've been doing weights so you're gonna see my body transform
Honestly, I swear to God. I'll pay for a trainer. I will pay for a trainer to see you get jacked
So you could be like Kumail Nanjiani and I saw him
That's what motivated me jack to fuck up. Yeah, he got in jet. He got an unbelievable shape. Yeah
I don't think he likes me that much. Why?
Because one time um, I did that show. This is not happening on comedy central. Yeah. Yeah
That's the one we talked about with Tom. Yeah. Yeah, and then he after he was done
He got off stage and I didn't know him at all, but he knew I was there to do it. I was after him
And I go, hey man, that was great
And he didn't say anything to me
Really? Yeah, the same thing happened twice with Taylor Tomlinson
You said that's great. No one time she was at the Laugh Factory
And she got off stage and I go, wow, you're really good and she just looked at me and walked away
Shut up. Yeah, she did that twice and then when she become up and then when she became a paid regular at the store
Uh-huh. She started saying hi, but that's all I can get out of her
Maybe she's just not a social person. Yeah, we've never I've never said hi to her. We don't know each other
I know, but she's so good. I've never we don't know each other even it doesn't matter
It's like when you see somebody that good, you know, she's good. I've never even seen her stand up. She's very good
She's a good writer a very good performer and she's you know beyond her years
So what when I saw her at the Laugh Factory once I just said, um
You did a great job and then nothing maybe she doesn't respect you as a comedian
That's what I said. That's what I started asking that question around town. You thought maybe she doesn't respect you as a comedian
Yeah, so I went to people that knew her
I don't think she respects me. I swear to God I did this. I went to Derek and Asan, you know, they live together
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and because they knew her from San Diego and I said
She likes me and they go well, I don't know if this is true or not, but they said
She's a little weary of dudes from the comedy store
Well, this is before she became a paid regular why I don't know why because I think that because we beat and rape and pillage in the
Basement of the comedy show. No, I think the comedy store comics
Imagine being somebody that's not a regular. Yeah, and then going there. I can I can only assume
We were all people that weren't regulars both and then went there and became regulars
I know but do you remember it being hard? It was impossible. That's what I'm saying big fucking deal
Everything is hard and stand-up stand-ups a nightmare. I still was I still didn't like not respect regulars
Yeah, I don't know what the reason was. Yeah, maybe I think it's she doesn't like you. She probably doesn't
I want to ask her so bad. Yeah, I can there's a lot of go up to her and be like
Hey, I'm gonna quit the podcast of Bobby because I fucking hate him. What do you think about him?
But then a lot of it's in your head right almost all of it is in your head
I know it's probably in my head and then here's a here's how I know it's in my head for years
I thought
What's this Indian guy's name come on in Gianni know the other one?
Well, there's there's I mean, there's more than what?
Aziz, sorry. Yeah for years. I would say out loud Aziz is Pakistani, right?
Isn't he from Pakistan?
Is he I don't know for years. I would say around town. I would literally say that that guy hates me
Yeah, just not knowing if he does or if he doesn't yeah, I would just say it. Do you like him? I love him
He's so talented. No, I mean as a guy. Do you know him as a guy?
I didn't really know him so how would you because I would remember like it was in social situations
I would say hi. Yeah, maybe he didn't see the high or whatever sure
I don't think these people like you but then here's what one day he came up to me goes. Hey, you're really funny, man
You know, I loved you on WTF. I think he said and he was super sweet to me
That's nice. Yeah, and then in my head. I was just like oh, it was all in my head
It is why is that because comedy comedy is based on people who are insecure already?
And so we're now more insecure. It's everybody in comedy. You're insecure littered
Well, like what are you insecure about everything? That's why I yell at you all the time
Yeah, like what I sometimes I make fun of you and I know sensitive spots so many I know I mean everybody has
I know but and then you get really angry of course. Yeah, isn't that part of it all? What are my sensitive spots?
Do you think when I'm asking you so it's okay to say? Um, ask me
I mean, tell me what you think I would be insecure about your weight your height
Your penis. No, you show that a lot your weight your height. No, those are things of you. I'm being real
I'm telling you you should be but I'm not
No, what do you what are you insecure about? I know that the one thing that you're the most insecure about true
No jokes all jokes aside
Is is stand-up? Yep. It's like the biggest most insecure. It's like the biggest so I'm so insecure about I know
I know it's but we don't talk about it and we don't talk about the idea of
You know fans constantly ask why you don't put out a special mm-hmm people at the comic store talk about it mm-hmm
Comics that your friends with go they ask me
You know Bob why I've had why doesn't Bob put out a thousand people a day and
The thing is for me is that I need somebody to ask me to do one
Yes, and no yes, you could also make a bigger move to to watch I want I need somebody to ask me, okay
So I'm sorry you could go a little out of your way. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Let me defend myself. Okay, all right
I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. Is is that?
And I've listened I feel insecure about gloating
Yeah about bragging about your just not accomplishments, but just the amount of time
I've been doing it what I've done is what I'm saying what you've done eight years on a sketch show
Yeah, national TV being a fat Korean dude on SNL. I'm mad TV. Oh and mad TV. Yeah. Yeah, that's a sketch show
Yeah, yeah, all right, so eight years on that. Yeah, right. Um, I've got been in a bunch of movies you've done a ton of stuff, right?
I
Mean a regular in all the clubs. I sell out everywhere. I go as a stand-up. Yeah, my podcasts that I do
Tiger belly and this bad friends are popular. Yeah. Yeah, I just think that somebody should call me and go
Hey, you want to do something?
What do you think is what do you think is holding you back?
Nothing, so why do you think no one's calling you that suck? No, that's not it
But in my head, that's what I think this is a perfect. This is such a great microcosm of what's going on
Watch what I'm gonna tie in right now. I love it. This is what I want like a fucking like a psychologist
This is what I need in the same way
You assumed a C. Sensori
Taylor Tomlinson
XYZ continue on whomever didn't like you or didn't respect you is the same way you feel
about these places that you think
Why don't they ask me so instead of you going Taylor?
Hey, do we have a weird? Is it a weird thing with you because I want to let you know that I don't have a weird thing with you
If there's something about me, I wish you would tell me and then she would go. No, I didn't I didn't think that way
I I thought we were good in the same way is
Having my agent or my manager go. Hey Netflix. Hey Amazon. Hey HBO
You know Bobby wants to do a special but he thinks you guys don't want to do one with him wait really?
Does he think that because we we just didn't think he really wanted to do one. We don't know
These are the same things taking place in your life
Okay, you don't ask no, no, you won't know and this is exactly why I wanted to even bring it out. Okay, let's start a war
What do you mean? I'm gonna say that I didn't say anything negative. Can I say something right? Yes
But what you don't understand is I'm
Diabolical and crafty and if they say no, you're gonna blow up the building. No, that's what I want to say
What I'm saying is is that?
But this is how I've always been yeah, whether you like it or not. Oh, I like it, right and
It gives me
motivation
Because if I don't have an enemy
Honestly, I have enemies. Who's your enemy now?
I'm not gonna say it. Please. I can't say it because we'll have to bleep it out
We'll do bleep it. We bleep last week and it was fun. I
I'm not gonna say it because I don't want George to keep bleeping shit. Yeah, but it's fun if you say it
No, but I have people out there
Yeah, right that I perceive as people that are against me and it motivates me to write it motivates me to go do more
To stand up even if it's not true. Yes, you fabricated and you know, I'm a gate enemies in my mind to motivate me
And I don't I don't think that that's healthy. No, right? Not even I think it's healthy, but it is I think the truth
But do you think that you don't well, okay? This is self-sabotage
What do you mean? This is you saying essentially you're okay with self-sabotage
It's not I'm not sabotaging anything. Yes, you know at the end of the day. I'm gonna win
But you're sad because I want to win you're slowing down the process instead of just going to why don't you go directly to Netflix or Amazon or
Whomever and go hey, I want to do a special because I'm not ready yet. How much what I gotta get I need about another 15 minutes
I'm good
What?
You do you have hour and you probably have two three hours. I need a 15 better minutes
Let's write it right now. No, I'm not gonna write a fucking 15 minutes with you right now
Let's write it right now. No, I'm gonna write 15 fucking minutes right now. Hey, so, uh, so I'm Korean
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Yay, do what you've been doing in your stand-up that I like what?
And because we did that show with Brian a pro Trump stuff coming out of me lately. No build the wall
No, what no, and this is what I because I hadn't seen you in a while and we did that show Brian Callum's
Show at the laugh actor. I was sitting there and I wanted you to fail
Because you just went on and crushed. I did pretty good and you did kill I went on right after you
Yeah, and I sat there and you did something you there was a moment in your set
There was a minute where you I forgot what it was, but you were being real and you had a message
Right. Yeah, and like oh you were making a point. Yes a lot of stand-ups
You know, we just want to go for the kill
But you're revolving to the point now in your stand-up where you're saying
Messages and having your point of view rather than and I really like that. Thank you. It's very nice Delia went up after
I appreciate you saying something nice. It was a really good deal. They go up after me and
The reception was not as good
Yeah, what a crazy show you me meet you Christa Lea Brian Callan
Wait Bill Burr Burr. Yeah, Bill Burr. I can't believe we forgot Bill Burr
Well, he's well, you know
Bill is a
What you know what it you know what a love of a bill and
I'm gonna say something positive. Okay, we best comic in the country in the world one of the best to me
Yeah, to me too. I love watching it. He doesn't I learned from him
You know, he's so good up there worst comic in the country is who go ahead. I can't say it but um
but
When I saw Bill playing with his daughter
Oh, I saw Bill and we were at a thing and I saw him playing with his daughter and he was out there for hours
Playing with his daughter and I was just like, oh, he's a good dad, too. Yeah, it made me like my heart warm. Good comic
Good dad. Yeah, you'd be a shitty dad, huh?
I don't know I babysit you every fucking
Yeah, you're my child you people don't realize you're my child why because they don't know oh dude speaking of our mutual child
I did promise
Your favorite king black that we'd call him
Wait, wait, wait before you do though. He did say Eric Riffin said before you do well y'all do me a favor
We all call me on the show. I said, of course. We'll call you in a show. He said well
Well, he was he fucking he was harassing me. Wait, why I'm just rigid the thing
Before you call him. I'm gonna put this out. Well, no, let's cut. Let's talk to him about I don't know before you call
Do you just let me do this? Okay. All right, so he goes um, he
Texted me like three or four times and we texted last night. I didn't I didn't respond respond
Right, so his last text to me was really you have to talk shit about me so bad all the time
Geez, he said y'all ready to Skype right and then yeah, and then I go I lied
And I said I have personal shit going on right now, man. I can't talk right now relax. Oh
Oh, right. Well, he's gonna hear this
Yeah, that's fine now because this will come out next week. I don't deal with it next week
Yeah, I don't know if I can deal with it now. Yeah
You're gonna call him. Yeah, I want to call him because we had to keep the lion that I had personal shit
But I can't let's inflate it. Let's inflate it. Let's make the lie even more prevalent
What is the lie you think? Well, let's make it up right now. Yeah before with it. My cousin has it. No, no, no
something um
There was a scare my mom
It's got to be something about Kaleila or your mom or your brother for it to be real to him
No, cuz he's best friends with my brother my brother and I am talking. Oh, they can't be okay
So can't be my mama Lila then no it has to be my what something about Kaleila Kaleila's friend
Okay, here's the deal. Yeah, this really happened. Okay, so when I was in Denver Kaleila's friend
Hung out in the green room with us. Yeah, and then the next day I flew out and she has a week later
She now has it. No. Yeah, Bob. What what if you have it? I don't have it. It's been 11 days. Okay, but let's say Kaleila think she has it
There was a scare that she thought she has it. Okay
Call him right now
Are we turned on okay?
I
Mean he's the one that was like y'all ready Skype he said it to me
Hello
Hello, hello
What's up, baby boy? Oh
Oh
Here we go again
We said what's up, baby boy? What's up? What's the problem, Griff?
What are you doing? You're washing your toilet. Yeah
Oh
Should stay fresh at all times in this time
Oh
No, were you really so when you texted me were you mad that I didn't text you back right away?
Bobby you never take it back right away. Okay, so angry about
We angry we talk about I saw your freaking podcast. Well, are you doing a talk shit about me? What did he say?
Oh
What am I talking about? Oh, I'm probably good. This is your words. I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this
But I
If I got it, I'm gonna die. What do you think you're gonna die? You know me? Yeah, go on
But didn't that happen didn't that happen?
You said you said to me you said that I'm gonna be fine
Is it first of all? I did not say that I'm trying to look positive
Listen, I'm not the little fuck that smoke and eats like a crazy person. Okay. That's you
All right. So, yes, I see why you're worried. Don't bring me down
I thought it offensive that you thought that if I died from it that you wouldn't die as well
Yeah
No, I'm not not at all. I'm healthier than you think don't let the look don't let the size fool you
All right. Well, then, okay
So griff griff what you're saying is you think Bobby would die before you. Oh
Yeah, oh, yeah, for sure Bobby would go like in a second. You know what I mean? Why he would just like
You know, it's just I I think that corona would live stronger in his hefty head. You know what I'm saying?
so
It would like this fuck
Fuck
Is big you think my head is fucking Bobby
Have you ever seen your head
It's proportion to my body is gigantic
Why because I'm yellow well, that would be a mustard bottle inside of
I'm just happy that you're watching the show. Yeah, that just shows that you really watch the episode
No, no, no, listen, I have to because people keep sending me the links. They keep sending me the clips
Why cuz I didn't talk any shit about you griff. Oh
Oh, oh, oh about the bottom. I think mac and cheese is vitamin
You know what you know what we say this to your face we all say this to each other's face
Yeah, cuz we love each other
The reason why we talk about you is because we love you fucking love you
Yeah, just like Hitler talked about the Jews. Yeah, pretty similar
Hey, what are you? What are you making? What are you making for dinner right now? Are you cooking?
Are you having you having your lady cook?
Actually, I've been doing a lot of cooking. No, I know he's doing a cooking show. Do you know this?
He's been doing a cooking show online. Yeah, he's been doing a cooking show. I just cook online live on Instagram
Cuz I'm bored. Sounds like a good show to me
I got this paleo shit from this place called sunbasket, and then they
They're not a
But it's like those pre-made you make it yourself. Yeah, send you everything you need. There's a lot of companies like yeah
Yeah, yeah, just one of you spray my face again
And then yeah, it's like 20 minutes 20 30 minutes to take the cook and it's pretty great meals for two
And it's like $11
Barely, I'm just freaked out by your voice, but I said sis what I said is you know what Bobby your butthole is probably ground
zero
Yeah, yeah, griff griff that yellow cave of wonder
Will you send us a will you send us a video we could put up on episode of you cooking something
Please okay, yeah
Now I need you to fuck to call me on skype later today. We do tomorrow
Wait, what do you mean? Oh because you want to video chat it?
Yeah, we video chat and I put it I put it on my okay my my little podcast
That's not good enough for you guys apparently. That's not true. We both watch your show. We watch it here
That's not true in fact Bobby Bobby Bobby and I sat the other night
We sat and just watched a couple episodes straight of riffing with Griffin. Yeah, I
Don't even look you guys. Wow. You guys are better liars than this. No
I'm telling you some of my favorite episodes on there of me. There's one of me that I like you're gonna come
Like you're gonna call me the alcohol. Yo, you just watched your guys this episode. Yeah
Yeah, who's that who's that guy this is riffing with Griffin. We're talking to riffing here we go. What's up, everybody?
Hey, is that song cleared or are we gonna get clipped by YouTube? Is that your music? Yeah, that's my you made it up from scratch, right?
I came and I did it on the singing mic
Yeah, no you didn't you go look at your episode you didn't do it on the singing mic. You're actually being raped. What did I do?
You were like this it's no black
You don't know if you've done his show I haven't been on this set before Eric
Yes, you have because you were talking shit about the brick
Yeah, and then you did a wait wait wait wait by the way then you did a whole separate
Patreon
What do you say about your place what do you say about your place I was
But you know what honestly though during this whole epidemic that we're going through and pandemic and I've been thinking about
Who my friends and family are and you're in my you literally I'm not kidding you you're in my top five
Five okay of the people I love the most I really do love you
Don't get sentimental on me now. He's a shit. Yeah. Yeah, he means it
I believe him
But if Andrew like number seven, I'm just curious
I think Andrew now is in my top ten as well
We have to go now because I have to talk about something else. Hey griff
Getting offended and getting sensitive
Hey plug a plug plug your show right quick do like a radio drop like the old-school days go
Oh my god, make sure you watch Ripper would
That's all good. I love him. Yeah, I fucking love him so much. Talk about who just texted you. All right, so here's
This is very sensitive
But I have to call him back, you know fact I
Don't think I should call him online
Live but no, why not tell him. Can I call you live on my show? Ask? Can I call you live on my show?
Well while you're talking while you're sending that text tell tell everyone who you're talking about I'm talking about Carlos Mincia
Yeah, and what happened? I don't know if people know this but for the first six years of
My stand-up career as an open-micer. I used to open for Carlos Mincia. Yeah, I probably did over
500 shows with them when I was young. I went all over the country. Oh and
You know, I used to open for him and Paul Lee shore
Mm-hmm. So when it comes to those two people specifically I get a little sensitive because um, you know, um, I
Know things about them that other people don't know obviously, you know
so, um, you know, I've been talking about him on
Tiger belly and some other things and um
He's been in comedy jail for a long time two decades 15 years
Okay, two decades minus five
Yeah, and
And his his argument, you know, his argument has always been
Um him defending his position about stealing jokes about what bits. Mm-hmm. All right
And my argument has always been that even if you did it a two or three time or whatever it might be
I don't know exactly the number, right? I
Don't know what the no, I don't know why you're smiling. I'm not smiling. You're smiling. I'm smiling. I don't know what the number is
Yeah, I don't know what specifically the number is. I'm being very genuine. I don't care
I mean, I don't know because I don't thank you. Thank you. Um, I just don't I have a regardless of what the number is is that
You should just do a blanket statement
Right
I'm sorry. Yeah, right because there have been the times where I had seen him write a right a bunch of bits on his own
Workouts work shit out. Right. You're saying he didn't steal everything. Yeah
I think that the thing is is that people people think even today, right?
Even if when he's on stage, they think that everything that he's saying he's stealing which is impossible because he doesn't do open mics and
You know, I mean, he doesn't you know go
He I don't think he sees enough people
Do live stand-up right for him to steal?
Yeah, and I think he's very sensitive about it now, right?
So, um, he's a little bit more paranoid about what bits he puts out there
But still everything that he does now is under the lens of he's stealing everything
Which I don't think is the case, but the problem is is that by him defending specific bits from the past
Right gets him in trouble because you know
Instead of defending the bits that you claim that you wrote just let it all go
Do a blanket statement that I used to steal. I'm so fucking sorry. I will make amends for that and to move on
I think is
The best way to go and that's what the conversation was outside. What did he say?
When you said you should say it hurts his heart to say sorry
To say sorry to all of it to admit that he was stealing. I
Think that he admits to stealing some
But not all and I just think that what hurts. I don't understand. It hurts to say it
Because there are bits that people are accusing him of stealing that he didn't steal right in his opinion
Oh, okay. I get it now and um, and I think that
You mean that's pretty much the conversation that I have with them listen
I but he's not gonna say sorry is what he's saying
No, I think that he is now at a point where he is gonna say sorry
He's gonna go on Rogan and do it. I think I don't think that Rogan would have him
It'd be crazy if he did though, huh? Yeah, it'd be great if you went on there and was like
I think that it would be
Open to doing it as well. I should I mean, I don't know if Joe would ever do that
But man would it be amazing to watch for people that don't know what we're talking about college man
See and Joe Rogan got an argument at the comedy store
15 some odd years ago about stealing jokes and they had the clip went viral this before viral was a real thing by the way
They're kind of was like on the precipice of the internet first virus in fact it what was scary about it
Is is that I got caught in the middle of it. Yeah, you were you're in the video on the patio
I was on the video in patio and everyone knows that I was his opener
So it's like when that happened
I was getting a lot of messages myself saying that you're thief too or you piece of shit
You never you've never stolen ever ever because everything you've done is so bad that you
I love it. No, of course you're doing but
Um, no, dude, you of course, but the point is you got roped into a weird thing and I was caught
And so what I had to do back then was I had to literally cut ties. I
Had to cut ties with Carl. Well, let's finish what happened for people that don't know
I'm sure most people know
But what happened was is the comedy stores chose
Carlos over Rogan Rogan was in so many words, you know, I don't know
He I don't know if he was banned, but he didn't come back around
It was almost like yeah, the store leaned towards Carlos and that divided the store a little bit. That was a real
That time I was an open micro back then and young, you know, and I that was a real
Fucking difficult time because yeah, like, you know, I I was friends with Joe Joe Joe again as well
I was you know with buff eyes as well. I loved them and
and
you know, I had to
Cut ties with somebody that helped me out a lot and I hadn't I've only seen him
Since then maybe a hand five times. Yeah, I never had him on Tiger Belly
Ever because of the fact that George I didn't ever want to bring it up, but he just said I want to hash it out
So we'll have him on Tiger Belly and and talk about it and talk about it
Jesus Christ, you know Ken Jung and Joe Mikhail started a podcast. You think that this is what
I'm talking about. Did they really? Yeah, did they really? Yeah
Wow, this is what they're gonna be talking about or they're gonna be talking about stuff that we should be talking about like what like
television and the nature of you know
G-rated pass
Yeah, yeah, they're not gonna say no their podcast isn't gonna say what our podcast says
They're doing the white and the Asian thing. That's that's pisses me off though. They're copying us hard
Yeah, but we went first. We were first. Well, tell them can we call him and tell him call Ken and tell him that he's copying us
No, I'll tell you why I can't call him. Why?
Why can't I look at I want to say this. Yeah, number one I
Honestly in my heart. All right. I
Love the guy. Sure. Yeah, we know you know that right? Yes. I know went on tour with him. Yep
He was my doctor and went to his wedding. Yeah, I know you would you guys are friends. Yeah, we're friends
But when I asked him to do Tiger Belly my podcast
He's he wanted me to talk to his publicist first
To go through the questions. Oh because he wanted to know what you were gonna say. Yeah, so yeah, because he's in the Hollywood thing
Dude, yeah, so that's a Hollywood thing. So for me, he doesn't want you to say some
I don't want to call him because he probably won't pick up and then also he'll be like wait a minute wait a minute guys
You know, and I don't want good. Let's trap him. Let's call him out on a shit
No, no, we're not calling out on the fact when I fucking stole our not he didn't steal
He just happens to be Korean the other hat what Joe Macon Joe McHale
John McCain he happened John McCain and and
Yeah
He just happens to be a Korean guy and a white guy. Yeah, okay same stole it
Stolen they stole it from us. Yeah, but they're starting one. I wonder if it'll beat us. No way
We're gonna do everything in our power to make sure
But if it does what will happen, I'm gonna try to kill one of those guys
I'm gonna make a big one. Would you really been would you really be angry if they topped us?
Yeah, there's a few people on the charts that I'm mad about that they top us. There's a few people that that would make me mad
Yeah, okay, who who's on the charts that make you angry Jenna Fisher and
Can I just say that makes me so
Mad it makes me so mad that they're number two and three in comedy. I know but Jenna comedy
I know I love comedy. I love Jenna. So what I don't dislike her either great
I don't dislike. She's a wonderful person. I don't dislike these people. I was on a sitcom with her for two years
Coming up together. I'm mad cancelled
I'm mad that it that it's that it beats us on the charts. That's just pure jealousy. Yeah, but they're just more talented
No, they're not and they're not comedians. This is a comedy podcast and we're better and they're more talented than us
You think that show is better than the show. Yeah, it has to be they're doing better
No, it's because they're they have way bigger names than we do because they both run the fucking losers
Yes, yeah, our names are losing. Yeah, and yes, and fine. Yeah, so can I say this to back our shit up for being losers?
Right, I'm pretty fucking good. We're doing okay. Yeah for being loose. Yeah
Yeah, and I think that's what makes Ken and John and Ken and John McCain beat us and John
I'll be bummed. Yeah, but I'll get it. They're bigger than us and they will
Maybe they will and then we'll just be angry. Maybe we beat Conan Conan's bigger than us
Yeah, but Conan has other things going on
I think that you know we have other things going on as well, but this is a pretty big deal. Look, it's not a competition
I don't care, but I
It means a lot to me
It means a lot to me. I don't like that. They beat us on the comedy charts. Mm-hmm
And we and wait wait don't tell me is up there every single week
And I've never heard anybody that listens to that who there's a show called wait wait
Don't tell me and PR and PR. You know what that is. No, they're literally the num
They're the number two comedy podcast every single week. Okay, good
And there must be more talented and better than that doesn't that's not what that means
That's not what that means even that's what it means
So so okay
So everyone that's above you is is more talented and and better than you. Yeah, but everyone beneath me is less
Ah, I like that. Yeah, and that's what feels good. Look this wait wait. Don't tell me is up here. Let's see where
Hold on
Yeah, there it is. Hold on. I said I passed it. Okay, so this is wait wait. Don't tell me I
Just want to play a chunk of it. Let's see if it's much fun. It's comedy by the way, and they ranked number
It's gonna make me feels insecure and why why because what if they're insanely good?
Well, if they're better than us, they're better than what how long we gonna listen for two seconds
All right, this is let's listen. They had Stephen Colbert at home along with panelist Mazya brownie Paula Poundstone and somebody else
That's a great crew of people support for this podcast and the following method garbage
Hate it already
Support readies bad gay
I'm just fucking around. Okay. Here we go. There's come from hulu fucking around with hulu plus live
The here is your host robot jacuzzi filled with hand sanitizer somewhere in Chicago leaders say go
Thank you, Bill and thanks to everyone listening at home this week. We are going old school
The older members of our audience might remember that for the first seven years of this show
We did it in a studio the very okay studio where I now sit in fact here stop right now. Sorry. I fell asleep down
There beginning of that. Hey
What we're doing now is mean
And if somebody else were to do that to our first of all, I'm punching up. I'm punching up. They're better than us
They're better than us. They're more successful. They're more successful. They're better. That's all I'm jealous
All right, I'm allowed to be jealous and punch up for edit as a joke at NPR, but the 30. I'm sure that guy's a great host
I'm sure the show is 30,000 podcasts that are neat are underneath us
We're better than that
That's the most yeah, no, I don't dislike that guy. I don't know those guys. I just I'm jealous. I'm jealous that they they chart every week
It's unbelievable, you know what I found in
You know what I found that I had to do in the last 10 years of my
Community career is to get involved with groups of people that I don't think
Have the same cachet as
Other people that I know, you know, but you you you learn to collaborate and you learn to support and you learn to figure out
That some things might not be my cup of tea
But you know, it does it's not necessarily means it's bad
No, of course not just because it's not what you like doesn't mean it's bad. No, there's a lot of music out there that people love
That I can't stand but doesn't mean it's bad music
Yeah, it's just not for me, but that's not a comment about that show
I'm just commenting in the fact that I'm jealous that these shows are better than us every week
They rank better than us. I'm sure Jen is a nice girl. I'm sure Angela's a nice girl, but you know, I'm just being jealous
I'm just being honest about things though that they would never talk about. I think that's like why
Angela Angela calls Angela calls Jenna Fisher ching chong like every single episode. They do like fake Asian accents to begin the show
That's how they start their show
I'm dead serious. That's how they start the show. Yeah, they do that. That's impossible. Their intro music is
Yes, it is and she was a reporting alive a pramachana. She does this whole bit. You've never heard that show. No, that's what she does
Wow. Yeah, she's still great
I'm very talented. I agree. No, I do love Jenna. No, of course, dude. It's like this is I'm just I'm just joking around
Do you want to have that me one? Why?
Because I'm on the show. Yeah, we were shooting and it was on her coverage and I was behind the camera
I know you were fucking around. I know I just started playing Candy Crush or whatever. You're fucking around
I was fucking around what you don't do that. No, I don't what you know, you when it's on somebody else's coverage
I don't fuck with the actor. I wasn't fucking with her. I was just
I'm not playing Candy Crush. I was saying the lines, but on your phone. That's so disrespectful. She was I was just
Saying the lines so she can't even look at you in the eyes and you can look at my head
My head's there dog
It's basically you just putting up you should just put up a picture of you while you can look down and play the game
Yeah, I didn't have one of those. Why don't you just got a stand-in if you don't like reading lines so much
No, it was just that one particular. I had a cat. It wasn't Candy Crush
It was again. I had to finish the level. Stardew Valley. No, it's not Stardew Valley. You can't play it on your phone
Stardew Valley is a very complex game. Please don't make fun of it. I'm not making fun of it. You're 50. Go ahead. What did she do?
What did she do?
She just went she just kind of called me out. Are you fucking kidding me? She's right. I know she is. Yeah
Are you fucking kidding? Why would you I started blushing? Yeah, and then I guess if you had a couple of beers or something
Yeah
You started blushing and then I I think I walked away
Because I don't like you're embarrassed. I think I was embarrassed. You don't like confrontation. That's why I hate it
Yeah, but in that realm, it's very embarrassing when you get checked down
I got checked on Melissa Leo yelled at me like a like me and me and Griff like fucking chilled
I mean dude like children like what it was embarrassing as fuck
What'd she say?
Well, we were on the other side me out magical and Griffin run the other side the completely other side of the room
She couldn't have heard us didn't even know we're in the background of her shot
I'm talking no shit 30 40 feet away
And we're supposed to be chumming it up in the in the hallway
That's literally what we're supposed to be doing in the background of the scene
So we are we're just kind of quietly being like well
Yeah, I mean if we start we start or late tomorrow, we're gonna we're supposed to be talking. Mm-hmm. She stops
Runs behind that runs by I mean runs behind the crew sprints and it's like quiet be quiet
I mean like we're children
Well, and what did you do, you know, you know what I did we all went like this
So embarrassed
Embarrassing you feel like an idiot. We were also not doing anything wrong
It I think it just we were get it got in her head when she looked over and saw us
Yeah, she kind of wanted it out of sight out of mind type of shit in the background
Yeah, she lit us dude. She lit us up a bunch. Oh, you know what? I was on a commercial once and the director I
Couldn't get this line out
It's a stupid commercial and the director goes. All right, everyone former circle
So like you're talking about a crew of a hundred people whatever. Yeah, they formed this gigantic circle you get in the middle
You me. Yeah, so I'm in the middle circle. I'm kidding you. I'm not kidding you. This happened
Everyone point your finger. Everyone points their fingers repeat after me. You're the worst
actor in
LA. Yeah, and they all did that truth and my face just
failure
Sweat, why would the director do that?
Because he's a he's a bad guy. Didn't he tell me this story. What's that guy's name? I can't tell you the name
And oh, we did it on two weeks ago. You had said that he was the inspiration for our said that story
Yeah, you said he was an inspiration for we are gonna cut it. Yes, you know
You had said he was the inspiration for for some guy in the Eagle Mortensen. Yes, that's right
We already said that and I mean no if you go from I'm so sorry. I said that's actually cut it out
No, I'm now I'm blushing don't know I already wrote I already wrote it down. He knows good, but but also
I do so many fucking podcasts. It's like I can't even that's why I told you you need to stop
I can't even but you need to stop you need to do our podcast and your podcast and that's I know
But it's just so long so much talking but it's but no more. It's ours and yours and that's it
No more
You can't do any more podcasts. I'm putting a fucking a break on it
But do you ever but do you ever repeat stories on podcasts? I'm sure I mean, I how could you know?
I mean, how could you you know what I mean like I?
There's been so many times where I've
Said a story that I think I said that I don't you ever done that on stage when you do a second show and it's like the second night
Of the second show and you go did I tell that the earlier show?
I've done that before yeah, I do that about jokes all the time
I go it'll be the second show on a Saturday, so you've done three shows yeah
And I'll get in my head in the middle of a joke and go did I tell this joke in the first show?
Or did I did it on this show already or was it last night that I did it?
Have you ever done this? I've done that told the joke and not get that big of a laugh and then say did I tell that joke already?
I've never done it because I said that before and they go yes, right? No, oh, they don't you never I never have
But the left wasn't big enough for me to go that was fresh. Yeah, yeah, yeah in my head
I'm like I must I'm gonna hold it. Yeah, I've done I've done a thing where I've told a joke I
Told a joke at the beginning of the set and then because I rearranged my set all the time at the latter half of the set
I do a piece of that joke mm-hmm that led me into another joke that I didn't do before
And I heard and I hear myself do it yeah, and I feel so embarrassed
I did it in La Jolla last year, and if I felt so embarrassed they don't that's they don't know
You're doing an hour. They don't fucking know they don't know yeah
No, thank God, but but have you ever done this where you're the show?
I don't I hasn't happened for a while, but like I had this one show where I'm like
I'm eating it. This is hard. It was a second show Friday night, so I'm gonna cut this bit
I'm gonna get to them. I'm gonna condense
The setup so that the punches are closer together. You know, I mean yeah, and I got off stage and the manager goes
You just did 12 minutes
And you cut out 40 minutes of show
Did you go back?
Shut up. You just walked out. They didn't pay me for that show. Yeah, they shouldn't that's insane
You know, that's not even a regular comedy store. I know it was that hard that audience
You know, you know comics that don't really like you, but like they just you can feel that they
Do it because it's part of the thing
I know I can name so many of them. No, but it's not even that comics
It's group of groups of comics a hundred percent, right? I know I know I know there was a there is a
Snotty mm-hmm. Like you know me snotty Ivy League II. Yeah, you mean brainy. Yeah group of comics out there
Like the Harvard kids. Yeah that look down at us, but they say hi
especially at certain
chirps
Like the comedy store and like the clubs because the clubs is our terrain. Yeah, it's a we that's our house
It's our house. You're in a mirror my house. You know, you mean the snot snot, right?
Mm-hmm are dangling down
Yeah, they're dipping our our level because this is where the audiences are now and that's the cool place to be
It's because for many years it was Largo and some of these other places
Did you ever play Largo one time and I never did it again. I
Met the guy that runs Largo. Yeah at Jones on third hat when he was having lunch with someone. I know yeah
And the guy said, you know, I understand you know, and he said no
I don't think we've ever met I said hi nice to meet you and he said, you know, he is I said no
I don't know that is and he goes are you serious? He said Andrew's a great stand-up
How do you guys not know each other and the guy goes I never I don't know and I go I don't know him
I don't know who you are
And he literally goes he literally goes he runs Largo
I said, oh, okay, and he goes we'd love to get you in there and I was like, oh, that's great
I mean, I don't I don't know did no diss on him. I just that's that was never my world
I don't you know what I mean. Yeah, it's it's like. Oh, I don't know. Well, it's not even that. It's not on my world
It's just that I don't even know how to get in there. I don't know where to go
I don't even know when I asked me. I don't even know if there's a door to get in. I don't know how you do it
If you see but it's like you see Apatow
Gallifianakis, yeah, yeah, so many dope people go there
Yeah, all these dope fuck silverman because they get to do all both
Yeah, but then I'll see the post and see all these like and they're with like Joe Walsh and like you're not allowed there
And I'm and I go, oh, that's the group. I'm not allowed in that club
Here's the difference between that and that place and like the comments to me
God and this isn't dissing brings up. It brings up so many resentment that place to me is
It's it's cool in the way when you show up to somebody's house and they have an old record player
And you're like
Everyone has a fucking record, but then they put on a good record and you're like, no, it is pretty fucking cool
Yeah, it's pretty cool like it's it's a little on the nose
But it is very cool and the comedy store is like when you show up to someone's house and it's a disgusting house
And they're smoking in the garage and they've broken a lot of windows and the couch is fucking gross and people are fucking on the couch
Yeah, and the mom is home and she's partying and her tit is out
Yeah, that's the comedy store. It's like the greatest high school party of all time
Yeah, it's just like it feels more raw and disgusting and on purpose an accident accidentally on purpose
You know like everything is working, but it's there is over there feels very coordinated
Yeah, but there's something about the store though that I love it's
You know stand-up comedy has always been a working-class
Type of performance. Yeah, right. It's like the Catskills people would go
You know I mean yeah in New York you see Marvel's Mrs.
Maisel, right? It's just you know, it's just it's worse. We're basically strippers
Yeah, we are we do stand-up in bars where there's drinking. It's been going on since the 60s
There's something really and that's why the comedy store is great because they never changed the decor of it
Yeah, so it feels and looks like it always has been yeah never
Yeah, and there's so much history there. It's not that necessarily that it's a dingy kind of a gross place
It's more it can be it's more dead wood
Yeah, you know and I
Prefer that
over
You know a fancy place. Well when things are more polished I feel I
Feel like they're they know that you don't belong, you know like you they can feel it you can feel it
Yeah, you know, but but it's so funny when an alternative comic says gives me a compliment. It means so much more
Really? Yeah, I remember well years ago Paul of Tomkins and Patton Oswald
Both I was with them and they said complimentary things about me as a comedian. Yeah, and I just I just was like I was so
Giddy, it's like if a club comic said it, I'd be like whatever it wouldn't matter
It wouldn't matter. Yeah, but but because Patton did you felt good?
You know, I paid Patton to do that to say something nice to you. No, you didn't that was a live cameo
I paid him to do a live cameo deal. Pan's a great guy. I don't know him either. No, I don't know any of those
I really know none of those people. They don't know I exist. I don't know them. It's very they know you exist
No, I'm telling you I'm telling you they do I promise you they don't oh
So if I went up to fucking Patton Oswald and said, you know, you know, they'd go no, I don't know who that guy
I've never heard of him
That's so fucking crazy the things you've done. That's insane. It's because I don't I don't I don't make an effort to go over there
You I don't reach out to that side when I first saw you though, and I would have to say this I thought to myself. Oh
That guy and I'll never be friends with that guy why when I initially saw you why because I mean
I just don't take this one way and I'm not gonna you
Well, I'm not gonna say it that we'll say it cuz I want to take it the wrong way. All right
It's honestly when you if just look at it my my point of view. Okay, I don't know you right? We've never met
We've never met. I don't know anything about your personality. I just can hear you talk
Mm-hmm. How you interact with people and you're just general energy. Yeah, it's like
negativey
negative then why are you going up?
negative
It's like
How is it negative? It's like it's like when I first go aggressive Bobby Slayton. Yeah
I was a big fan of Bobby Slayton, and then once I got to meet him. He's super sweet, right?
But initially for years. I thought oh, I'm never gonna be able to because he's just got it. He's but then once
You know me I got see look at that face. You're doing no once I got in there, right?
Then I'm like oh, there's small aspects of softness and I think what it is is I'm
I'm aggressive. I am aggressive. I'm heavy. Yeah, I come in heavy to start. Yeah, but that's cuz that's who I am
I'm I'm big you're authentically you when I first saw you. You know what I thought
I
Honest because I was being honest so I'm not no no joke. I said that's that crazy guy
That gets naked all the time at the comedy store. That's literally what I thought to myself
That's that crazy guy that gets naked at the comedy store
When do you get naked all the time when all the time no
No, don't look Google it. Don't Google it. Yeah, because you're gonna find I could Google you and find some thing
Andrew Santino
Naked naked just naked. Okay images
No, we got a blur that well, yeah, you got a blur right there cuz that's boobs
Well, that's that's on set of a show that I had my penis. Let me see it. That's me on set of I'm dying up here
There we go. You are naked. No, that's
I don't give a fuck you're naked. It's on a TV show. I'll show you now to Google me then that's on a TV show anything
Okay, okay. All right, you won't find anything and this won't be on the TV show
You look if it's performing too, it doesn't matter. Oh my god
I won't find it the first eight pictures are of you on stage
Warming the same thing as a TV show. No, yes
Performing this is on Tom Green show performing
This is not at a radio station performing
performing Bobby Lee naked on stage performing
This is you at your house performing not performing, but I love how you say I don't get naked look at how many naked photos come up
It's almost insane. It's almost absurd how many come on
There's you
There's not that's just a white guy. That's a guy. It's a gay male. It says on stage. Mm-hmm
That's not you that one right there. What with the girl. What was that? I
Don't know. Oh, that's with my arm with shell with someone from Chelsea lately. That's my ex-girlfriend
Oh, well, then why'd you have me bring that up? That's weird. That was weird that you did that. Why is that up there?
Well, it's just on the internet. I'm just saying so much nudity. Yeah
Then it's the same as yours. It's all performance. It's not that you when you say when people go
Mine was this your this okay. This was unexpected that look at Tom's greens Tom Green's face
This is the difference mine was for a scene on a show that they asked me to be naked for you did this voluntarily
Tom Green look at Tom Green has no fucking idea
No fucking idea you were gonna get naked
Not even and that to surprise that my bum is on your lips guy is fucking mind-blowing
The guy who's to wake up his parents and beat the shit out of them. Look at the shock on his face
mind-blowing
You're a nudist. I'm not saying it's it's wrong. I'm saying you're a nudist whether you like it or not
You're a nudist. You're an exhibitionist. You enjoy being nude
Okay, I
So I said there's the guy who gets naked at the commie store. Okay, also that's fair also turn it off. He's very funny
Turn it off. Look at me
Turn it off. The viewers need to see that I
Said I said that guy's very fucking fun
I think you made me laugh before we became friends. Hey, do you want it?
Do you want to have can we have a segment and I can bring up Andres or Rosendey to do his stand-up? Yes?
What do you call him again?
Fancy being her fancy be baby
Yeah, oh shit hey, baby boy
You look great
Look at that sweater that sweater such a cute sweater. I like this wait model
Will you model that sweater for us for a second? Put your hand put your hands on your hips. Oh, nice. Wow
Does your eight-year-old need a new sweater this season
It's so great. That's what are you more?
That's what it's wonderful. It's like all the colors that got rejected by by all the skittles
Bill Cosby wouldn't even wear that sweater
All right, here we go. Get ready. You ready everybody. My name is rich McGivans. Welcome to the lol
Lol cafe here in Nashville, Tennessee, and we got a guy coming up here. It's his first time. He's from Spain
His name is
Andreas give him a round of applause
Hey, thank you guys
So glad to be here
So you guys know that
Pornhub is giving away its premium subscription for free this season due to the pandemic a
Point free thanks for hub, but I already came
Okay
346 people in South Korea turned to religion during looking for answers during this corona virus crisis and pack a little tiny church
They all got infected. So what did it learn that the virus is also Christian?
More more more
Okay, there we go. The media is going crazy after a Trump aid call the coronavirus the cool look
But why for now on I want all my diseases to have kick ass names like this Sumo area the karate bola
Gidget Sartre taekwondo syndrome and of course the mma
Oh, did you say taekwondo syndrome?
Andreas canceled so fun
So during this time of economic
Struggle most people don't know the difference between a recession and a depression. So I'm gonna break it down for you guys
a recession is a business cycle where there is a general decline in economic activity a
Depression is what pussy ass losers like Santino go through sometimes for the year
Fired
Wow
You little you you're a little bitch dude. I'm gonna beat the shit. Let him finish. Okay finish. Sorry. Go ahead
Okay, so all all many my family lose their hair early, you know, I started losing my hair
In my head before I had
Hair in my balls. So recently my my wife told me to go and think the problem
So I went to a doctor and she told me that I have to put a phone every night in my hair and take a pill every day
Only some minor side effects. She told me like oh nothing to worry about you
You know, you'll get your hair back, but you lose your sexual appetite as long as you
Take the pill. So I asked him like, you know, how long do I have to take the pills?
He told me for as long as you want my hair
So as you guys might
Was that a monologue was that a one-man play what it is John Leguizamo directing this
There's a carrot
Okay, I'm continues to call
Covid-19 the Chinese virus
I wouldn't ask what he was, you know, so I don't mean about what the virus originated
He said oh, I like my viruses like I like my violin domestic
This is good and there's keep going I love it
Okay, I can't see Bob's face, but I imagine that he's encouraging me from there. Dude. He's dying laughing
Um
Okay, a lot of fun
Because last week he made a fun of cats and cat people
Do you know that living with cats may cause that this is called talk to plus Moses?
It makes you guys lose your sense of humor
All right, we're not gonna laugh now Andre sell the joke sell it here we go
Okay, I don't know what I don't work
Don't laugh don't laugh I
Don't work strippers in Portland. Have you started a new food delivery service called Buber Eats?
Well, they deliver the food to your door have make it
Fantastic. I haven't been breastfed since I was 10
Okay, my last one promise. I love you guys alone
The stock market is a yo-yo in up and down to the new stimulus package
Coincidentally the stimulus package is how I call my penis and let me tell you everybody's gonna get it. Yeah
Throwback
You know, that's called a callback. We call that a callback on this. Thank you so much
Why don't you give us a sign off say something vulgar in Spanish to sign us off go ahead?
I didn't understand what you say, but it was pretty good. It was really good. Yeah. Yeah
Well before we go Bob, I want to spray you down one more time before you go home. No, no on your close your eyes
There you go, it's all natural you feel good lavender look in the camera and let him know thank you for being
Thank you for being a bad friend