Bad Friends - Yellow Peril & Cave Butter

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: BlueChew, DraftKings Sportsbook, Rocket Money & Shopify • BlueChew: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BADFRIENDS -- just pay $5 shipping. • DraftKings Sportsbook*: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code BADFRIENDS. • Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/badfriends today. • Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Old Dog, New Tricks 5:00 One Battle After Another 10:00 Cave Butter 15:00 Fancy Corn 20:00 Peeing in a Theater 25:00 Bathroom Signs 30:00 Death Trap Water Slide 35:00 Chunky Potatoes 40:00 Fantasy Moment 45:00 Bobby’s 2nd Special 50:00 Complex Machines 55:00 1 Cup More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Thanksgiving. I'm going to Cesar's Windsor and Ontario, Canada. Then I'm going to Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City at the Borgata that's getting close to being sold out. Valley Center, Harris Casino down in Valley Center, which is near San Diego, Canyonville, Oregon, over there during Valentine's Day. And then I'm going to be at the Wind Casino in Las Vegas in March of the New Year. So get your ticket to Andrew Santino.com. Andrew Santino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

A white dude. I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. Yes, he is. I went for a hike today.

to carry my dog up half of the hill because she's getting old oh oh no my heart break it is so funny she's getting to the point now where she just lays down when she's over it you know when dogs like sit and they just won't get up because you're like come on come on she just lay down in the dirt i was like please get up and go please can we go and then she just looked up i was like i'll pick you how old is 36 wow that's good that's really good she's going to be nine i think so i made the decision She's an old dog We have a dog named Remy Eyes completely white

You're going to do it aren't you And you're going to put her down Okay Spine crooked Dude bro what No but when a dog's eyes significantly Stress or fear when they have Completely blind

Remi is deaf Cricket spine Right Won't leave his bed Right So the vet said You guys might I want to start thinking about.

Don't put him down. And I go, we're doing Christmas. We're doing Christmas. I go, we're doing Christmas. We'll put him down on Christmas. Maybe in January. Put him down on Christmas.

Yeah, but when I told Jules that information two days ago, we all just started crying. I know. I don't want to hear it. What? You don't want to hear the cry? I don't want to hear how you cry. And then, you know what?

And then you start thinking about your Other animals, because I have seven of them. They're all going to go. Yeah, and it's just devastating. But we're all going to go. Yeah. I want to do that full body scan thing you were talking about. Yeah, I've got to do it too.

Because we know a comic that had that done, and they found a little something. They found a little something in our friend. Yeah, I want to do a full body scan. Carlos, you should do a full body scan. Yeah. I just got health insurance this summer. I'm excited. Is that the first time you've ever had it?

No, not since I got dropped off my parents, like 11 years ago. Are your parents disappointed in you? That's what it feels like. No. How could they look back at their lives and you and they go, oh, we're proud? Yeah. Because I'm not like, I'm not dead. Yeah, you didn't die.

Yeah. I don't work like a. I'm proud of you. You are? Oh, yeah, the glory holes, you know what I mean? That stuff's cool. Yeah, yeah. I've kept this job.

I've almost died and survived. I kept this job. Yeah, that's true. Is this the longest job you've ever had? Yeah, 100,000 percent. Yeah, dude. Have you thought about quitting ever? No, never.

this job you do yeah i love it you got like the fame that's not why that's why that's projecting that is projecting i don't like the fame oh you don't i don't have get any fame i do but you know what i mean yeah i don't i don't bask in it here's how much bobby hates the fame when i said where'd you go see the movie that we're talking about he goes the grove the most look at me look at me look at me location the grove of all places to go see a movie that that's like being like i went to universal studios. It's the busiest. You love that.

I go to the little quiet as far away. No, you go to the hipster one where all the hipsters say, what's up, man, with their fancy mustache. I go to Burbank. No, you don't do. I do. No, you don't. I shouldn't say that.

You went to Echo Park or something. No, I go to Burbank. Where did I go to see this movie? Lemily on Sunset, 8,000 Sunset. Yeah. That's because I had dinner down there. And it's the- Already, can I just say something about that?

And it's the only one that had an 8 o'clock. When your lips tighten up, dude, you're starting a fight. You know what it is? It's because my lips are sunburned. Oh, okay. I went to, I usually go to Burbank because I like it. It's quiet. And there's four theaters up there.

Have you noticed that they've cut down the Nicole Kidman video? Yeah, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. It's too long of a walk. It's too long of a walk. Too much talking. Too much. Right?

The audience goes a little too haywire for me. But then Friday night when I saw one battle after her neck, It was just one thing she said And that was perfect That is good Editing You know the scene where they're like Put away your cell phone

Dun-da-da and do that thing I went down to watch a movie in Englewood Yeah They run a different pre-roll What is it? Different pre-roll They're like take out your cell phone Turn that shit on

Text and FaceTime The whole time the movie's going It was talk as loud as you can Talk as loud as you can La Vital moments Walk out to P4 5 more times Yeah

Yeah it was different down. Start a riot, start a riot. You know what else I'm tired of? Actually, wait, this reminds me the first time. I went to go see Belly in the movie theater. Remember belly? Bring up Belly. He probably doesn't even remember Belly. Look at how, look at this movie. I went to go see this in a tough neighborhood. Yeah. And D.M. Spoiler alert, DMX gets killed pretty early on. And a black dude in front of a stand. And he goes, oh, hell no. And they walked out. They wanted DMX in the whole fucking movie.

That's what I do when Michelle Yao dies early. Oh, hell no! I go, fuck I know! No, so I'm tired of... God, Belly was such a good movie. The Coca-Cola commercials with the two people. Yeah, get a...

Right? And then all of a sudden, they're race car driving. And then all of a sudden, they're dancing. Yeah. Right? And then all of a sudden, they're basically just in love on the middle of a New York street, and they hit the coax together. I hate that one. And it has nothing to do with it because they're black. Okay, good.

It has nothing to do with it. If they were white, it would annoy me too. I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't. No. No. Well, I met this girl at the comedy store. It was Thursday.

Okay. Pretty. Yeah? Yeah. And then she was like, then she just kind of made out with me in the hallway. Just started making out with you. Well, we talked a little bit.

Had a cigarette, right? I bought her a drink. Like the Coke commercial. Just like the Coke commercial. And then we race cars. Yeah. Started dancing. It was crazy.

It's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. One battle after another, though. That's one of the best movies I've seen. Best movies I've ever seen. Also, underrated as far as comedy goes. It won't be considered a comedy, but it absolutely is a comedy. It's an action movie, but it's a comedy, for sure.

Yeah, I find Leo, because of once a lot of time in Hollywood, too, I think he was very funny in that at times, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just think that it's, because he plays it real as well. It's interesting. They're funny situations, but he's such a good actor. and when you play it real That's when it's funny

That's when it's super funny He's not like a It's not like a It's not like You know like a Will Ferrell character That he's supposed to be He is just being funny Because this one

The situations are very honest But the reaction is funny Yeah yeah Yeah Yeah and Benicia was great in it So good How old is Benicio del Toro at this point Let's take a guess

Okay 50 something I thought maybe almost 60 by now 60 got to be 62 is my guess Do you want to guess, Bob? Well, I remember when he first came, when he did usual suspects,

I was at the Mondrian. I was a doorman. But how old was he then, 30? But he's seen my age, but he was like on fire because it was him and Michael Rappaport were in the Mondrian. I see them like dancing with these hot chicks.

And I remember just sitting there by myself with a Diet Coke, sipping, going, oh my God, that's the new, that's the new Hollywood. Oh, I want to ask you this. This is interesting. These newer theaters, these nicer movie theaters now, it's not just the old school snacks.

Yeah. The upgrade is crazy. Crazy. Bro, they had, we had, what's it? Raisinettes. That's old school. Oh, fuck. Let me guess.

Let me guess. No, no, this is just insane. They had those high-end, like, dark chocolate bars with mixed in, like, raspberry flakes and all that stuff. And I was like, I'm not getting at the fucking movie theater. and she was like, let's just get it just with their popcorn. I can't go back. Yeah.

The dark chocolate with like the raspberry. Like the, you know, like the lint chocolate bars, you know those? They had those on display. They had 10 different flavors. I was like, come on, get three or four. How do you get the butter at the bottom of the bucket? Say it again. How do you get the butter at the bottom of the bucket?

Well, you're going to think I'm a psychopath. Because I don't know how to do it. Because I don't know how to do it. I get a side cup for a fountain and I put butter in it. And then I eat the popcorn and I sip the butter. Like a shock, like a chaser, a chaser, a chaser, a butter chaser. A butter chaser. Wow.

But how do you do it? Do you move? Sometimes I try to move it. Or you put the butter on top and you do a shake. Like what do you do? How do you get the butter on the bottom? Do you want my secret? Yeah.

So you get the bucket. You can't get the bag. The bag is an issue, right? You get the bucket and you go, hey, can you fill that up just below the line? I know, don't overflow it. And they fill it up just below the line. And you go, can I get a second bucket? I'll pay for it just an empty bucket.

and I put the bucket on top of the bucket and I shake it like a salad and then mix it all up and I just throw away. You really do that? Yeah, I throw away the second bucket. Yeah, that's ingenious. It's that of the bucket or the butter shot.

I do a butter shot too. I'll take a little butter back. Yeah. A little popcorn butter back. What kind of butter is it? It seems like oil. It's oil butter. It's oil butter.

Well, it's also been sitting in that vat for about 40 days. Yeah. There's no way they clean it. It's not good for you. You know that's how I got sick in college, right? What? Oh, I got butter? My buddy Colin and I could call him.

My buddy Colin and I got food poisoning during finals week of college. We went to go see a movie with our buddy, Colorado John. And John was the only guy that didn't eat popcorn. He's like, no, I don't want popcorn, man. And we shared a bucket of popcorn and we got so fucking sick. How do you get food poisoning from popcorn? From the butter, the butter, the butter, spoiled. The butter spoiled.

Oh, my God. The doctor was like, what did you eat? I went down the list. I was like, dude, I had ramen, which literally doesn't go bad. Ramen lasts about 9 million years in that packet. I go, I had ramen for lunch. That's all I ate until we got to the theater. And then Colin had a totally different meal.

We both were sick for two full days. I lost like nine pounds. It was insane. Wow. I looked good for finals. I wasn't my shirt off. A, B, C. Yeah.

Dude, I was sick. That's the sickest I've ever been food poisoning. And the doctor concluded, he was like, well, it had to be, did you put butter? I said, yeah, of course we had butter on the pot. He goes, that dude, brother, that's 100% what it was. It's also a college campus movie theater. The fucking goons work in there are stoned to the bone like us. They're not paying attention and cleaning shit.

Yeah. Dirty, dirty, dirty. So if you go to Major Domo, they used to have cave butter. There's a cave somewhere in California where they get the butter. What are you talking about? Butter comes from cows.

No, there's cave butter, did. So it just organically grows in the cave? You know, there's like a bat in there. I don't know what it is. Major Domo cave butter refers to cave-aged butter from Crown-Finished cave served at David Chang's restaurant.

That's what I'm saying. Right. Right. So what I'm saying... Crown-FIN. And you can taste the difference. Because it's from a cave. Yeah.

It's definitely cape butter, definitely. No cave butter when I see it. It's just they store it in a cave. That's all it is. I know. That's what I'm saying. I didn't say it's from the cave. There's not one cow and they're going,

how funny if there was just a cow in a cave? He's exhausted. They're milking him all day long. Yeah. Leave me alone. Yeah. But what I'm saying is you take fancy butter like that. Right.

And you put that in popcorn somehow. Ah, this is like level it out. No, level out. Because the oil butter is fucking bad for you. Of course. And cave butter is so flavorful Why don't we just take it to the next level Take it to the next level with the cave butter

How do you do it? Do you condense the cave butter into a liquid form? You have to judge more Of course you have to Well it can't be that much more How much is cave butter very expensive? That's like a thousand dollars a bar Fancy cave butter

Yeah yeah Like elevate the popcorn We must at this point it is Frank's gourmet popcorn butter Flavored coconut oil Oh it's a substitute now these are all substitutes my guy

but still not elevated enough for me okay but how about this when you get a candy like an M&Ms you sprinkle that in the popcorn yes no insane you don't do that do you do that everybody does that you sprinkle them in there then you get to grab a couple handfuls then you get some you'll get one popcorn with with some of the M&Ms because the M&Ms don't go all the way through

they stick halfway in some of the crevasses I know I got a good idea you just you make it so it's like a fucking yogurt chop oh yeah yeah So it's just not just K butter, right? But you put gram, the gram crumb. A little bit of gram crumb. From some toffee, some sort of toffee thing.

Maybe candied pecans. Exactly. If you're getting nuts, candied walnuts, you're getting fucking... But you put the butter in first so that all the other stuff sticks to it. I like this. Right? What do you think? Maybe a blueberry.

You know, it's a stretch, but I like it. I like it. One blueberry? One blueberry. In the bottom of it, you have to try to find it. and your partner goes, you got the blueberry? There's only one in there, you know?

That's good for good luck. That's for, yeah. That's actually a good idea. Elevate the popcorn. What else can we elevate in there? Yeah. Well, they do. At some of them, like at Lemley's,

they have a full bar, which I think is insane. That you can just get like a cocktail with it, which I thought was kind of crazy. That's nice. No drinking, but still. Garrets is good. I see that.

You got to elevate the popcorn, man. We got to move on up. Yeah, let's move on the popcorn. We're running thin on that. And also, then the snacks, the snacks, though, The snack game is very, what's Williams Sonoma? What's this? Opel Popcorn.

And Bobby's going to love it. Yeah, that's it. What is that? Williams and Sonoma makes Sonoma popcorn gift set. No, no. That's the bowl thing you're paying for it. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.

Glad I didn't get it. Yeah. This guy was just going to buy it. Is there elevated corn? Google is there elevated corn. I'm really getting into this. We're trying to get to the next level of popcorn. Yeah, yeah.

It starts with the corn. Cave corn. Ooh, there can be elevated significantly taller corn. No, that's not we're talking. talking about. Yeah. Is there fancy corn? Is there fancy corn? Is there Andre's corn? Yeah, organic fancy corn. Is there? Yes, there is fancy corn. Yeah. It should conferred to cornmeal multiple. Indian corn. Oh yeah, Indian corn. We need Indian corn.

We need Indian popcorn. Because there are different colors. They're going to be mad at us for appropriating that as well. Look at that. There's Indian corn. Yeah, you use Indian corn cave butter. Indian corn with paper. Right? Imagine. I just sounded like John F. Kennedy. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. I mean.

Indian popcorn with cave butter. With cave butter and also all the fixins. And sea salt. And sea salt. Dude, that's what I'm saying. Elevate the shit. Coture sea salt.

Yeah, dude. Imagine. Wow. I think we should. Imagine. Imagine. We can elevate the menu at a at a movie theater. I think we can.

I don't know. It's time. It's time, dude. I will say those Coke machines they have now have every flavor of everything on earth and it's fucking amazing. I refuse to do the flavors. You're out of your fuck. I refuse it.

Cherry Coke is phenomenal. If you get a diet fucking Coke and you put a sugary cherry thing, it defeats the purpose of the diet part of it. You're still getting sugar. What do I mean? They do fake sugar. Yeah, they do fake sugar now. They do aspartame versions of all of it.

Oh, really? So it's not real sugar. No, it's fake. Okay, well, then I'll do lime. You have them both. Yeah, they have both. Look at all the options. I want one of those at my house.

Yeah, that's a great thing. That's one of those things. Like, I had a friend in high school who was like a, who's a super rich kid and we go over at his house. Yeah. In his basement, he had a Coke bottle machine. We could get Coke by the bottle. Oh, my God.

If it dispense, we drink like nine Cokes a day. Oh, my God. Macaulay Culkin movie where he gets a million dollars. Brewster's millions? Put the McDonald's in your house. Yeah. I was hankering this morning, by the way, for a sausage egg McMuffin. I almost went to MacDees for one.

Sausage Big muffins is the best thing in the fucking world. I think so too. It's so fucking good. Amen, dude. You slide that hash brown inside. I don't do that. No, you know. You don't put the hash brown.

inside the Sausagama. No, but it'll change your life. It won't change my life. I'm telling you, why eat it separately? Yeah. Why eat it out of it? So if I do that, the light, like, it'll turn completely bright. Imagine.

Right? And I'll have a spiritual awakening. What the fuck you're talking about? You'll see in color for the first time. Yeah, no, I don't think so, but I think it'll be good. It's phenomenal. Okay. Here's what you do.

You want a real little secret topper? They sell Taco Bell hot sauce now in the grocery store, which my fridge has five of them in there right now. Honestly, of all the hot sauce. Diablo? They sell the fire You can get hot, fire Look, there they are

Yeah Taco Bell hot sauce sold in the store In the bottle We buy that shit I put that on everything It's good That on breakfast

Do you not like Taco Bell Hot sauce? It's so good It's a packet I don't really think about it Oh brother Really when you go to Taco Bell You don't use it

I use Diablo or Fire Yeah but I don't think Oh this is amazing hot sauce Oh no no no It's not that it's amazing It's just good The flavor's okay But I put that on my breakfast sandwiches

You do And you know what Yeah I bet it is yeah It's a kiss on the mouth. Yeah, do you ever do the taco? This guy's selling 50 hot sauce packets. That's so funny. That's funny. I bet you people buy it. Do you do the breakfast burrito at McDonald's too? I've never done the breakfast burrito. Yeah. I'm too scared. It's a tube. It's a tube of fear.

I don't like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I call it a tube of fear. I don't like it. But this is the thing. McDonald's has been switching up their menu a little bit with introducing new items. They're risky and some of the new ones. I'm not. Their chicken menu's getting too big. Slow down with all the chicken. Amen. Amen. Give me McDonald's new menu. Yeah. We went, we went. We went the other week and I thought, you guys need to slow down. Go back to the basics, dude. They got new shit on there that I'm just not, like chicken strips, get the fuck out of here. It's nuggets or nothing, dude. It's nuggets or nothing. What's new on there? New edition, boo buckets. Oh, boo buckets. Wait, wait, Tiny tan happy meal. That's for the Philippines only,

isn't it? Tiny tan. Wow. There's a meetup in Los Angeles. For Tiny tan? Yeah, for parents, I guess. Can we go back to the movie, popcorn real quick? Look at this. Special edition gold sauce. Yeah. All right, what do you want to do with the popcorn? We already got it. I'm just saying, so I went to see that movie with a date. We got a large popcorn, a small bottle of smart water.

Not needed, but go ahead. Why? Waste of money. Okay, anyway, that's what we got. Yeah. And a Diet Coke, 30 bucks. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a fucking.

How much are they making off of that? Can you imagine how much our fancy Indian corn cave butter is going to be? 80 bucks a bucket. We're never going to be able to source it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. We're going to be ripping people off. Yeah.

But the movie we can make cheaper because we won't, what we'll do is we'll run a bunch of, you know, previews will be an hour and a half to pay for the Indian corn. Okay, yeah, yeah. So you have an hour of previews. Movie theaters make almost no money with the movie. They make older money with concessions. But they also make money using the previews, right? Don't they have to pay to have those previews put in front of those films? Is that not true?

Yeah. Yes, but have you smuggled in stuff? I have. What do you mean? That was my whole life. Yeah, yeah. The only reason I do it now is because I'm just timing-wise, I don't feel like bringing shit in. Yeah. But I would say the majority of people still sneak in food.

And you shouldn't sneak because it's a teenager ripping tickets. He doesn't give a fuck. He thinks a 16-year-old is going to be like, Sarah, what's in your packets? Yeah, they don't do this. He doesn't fucking care. Yeah. It's mostly coffee. You sneak in coffee?

Yeah, like an iced, you know what I mean, venty or something, right? What do you put it in your? No, I do this. this right right and I do one of these I hand a ticket like this yeah they'll never see that when you walk around no can you see it now

well I'm just on this angle now I know you can spin around to this side he can hear the ice jingle jangling in that cut it's basically on the walk dude oh I'm a limb dude yeah and I go here you go right smart and then when they're I always keep you always have to keep

eye contact got it right here you go what if there's an employee behind you sir Yeah, you got to cup it You sneak in coffee Yeah Because in high school

You used to blow cigarettes I was good at cupping the cigarette Oh Yeah, you're just walking down the hallway You're right? Oh yeah, cup in the smoke I know how to cup that I know there's smoke

But they thought I was Asian I was doing some sort of you You know what I mean Like street fighter thing All you can or whatever Yeah, yeah But yeah That's smart

Yeah I'm very smart with my hands My friend Sarah and I used to sneak in 40 You just bring in a big purse in college and sneak in 40s. That's college days, dude, the good old days. Yeah. Sneaking a 40 in the movie theater. Actually, the fans down below, comment the craziest thing you've snuck into the movie theater because I'm actually curious to know who snuck in some wild theater.

Like, what do you think the biggest thing? You could put something down in your pants if it's long. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, I mean, if it's like a big thing, you just put it in your pants, they're not really, they don't care. Jackets, by the way. Midwest, we don't have that out here.

When winter comes, you can sneak in a fucking entire kitchen into a movie theater. Have you repeated in the movie? into what the bucket no on the ground you just pissed on the ground what goes that way what it just goes away from it because it was back in the early 80s yeah back when it was normal yeah it was normal back in the 80s yeah

do you remember the movie evil dead evil dead yeah that was not the 80s yeah it was like late 70s you didn't want to miss a minute that was a kid I remember and my friend my cousin Jennifer because here's what we went to the movie there was empire strikes back playing and evil dead. And I was like, can we do Empire Strikes

Back? And she was like, older. She said, no, we're doing evil. You already saw Empire Strikes back. See a double feature, dude? Yeah, so I would, no, we, our parents, we only had two hours. So anyway, we went in there and just to make her mad, I peed on the ground. And I remember it ruined the movie first. She fucking hated

it. But anyway, I did that happen yet. You never done that? No. Okay. Never peed in the theater. Bluechew Into the room, dick first. Get in there, dick first. Bluechew is not just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch, stronger, harder, longer lasting, like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership that Bobby is finally getting. Blue Chew has saved my sex life because when you get older,

sometimes Papa's not awake. That's right. And you know me, Bluetooth goes, it's like its own coffee almost. It's like, wake up and it does work. Last time I took Bluetooth, my dick got sponsored by an energy drink company and refused to do missionary. Guys, this isn't just about performances, about legacy or third legacy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, give her group chat something to talk about. You know when you lay it down? They're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bit of Blue Chew.

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limit time offer. Avocado green mattresses. I love the environment. I also like sleeping. And why not do both. And why not do both? And you know what? The weather's cooling down right now. Winter is on its way and we're going to spend more evenings indoors and your home should feel like a sanctuary. Avocado helps you create a natural oasis in your home with an organic mattresses, cozy pillow, soft bedding, and thoughtfully designed furniture, Bob.

I wonder what was going to read the other thing. Thank you. Avocado and products are carefully constructed with premium materials that are better for you and the planet with certified organic mattresses, pillows, bedding, and sustainably sourced wood furniture.

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It's going to be better for you and it's better for the planet. So you've got to head to Avocado Green Mattress.com today to create your natural oasis. Avocado. Dream of better. Also, I saw a sign yesterday that bugged me to no end. They had a, okay, it's one of these, like, progressive places, but they're trying way too hard. It had a men's bathroom and a women's bathroom, right? So it literally said, M, men, W, women. Then below that, on each door, had an image of, and you've seen this before. It's like half man, half a dress, and then it says, and then a disabled icon, and it says, whatever, just wash your hands. So I was like, so what is it? You know, that, that's the symbol. That one right there, gender neutral. It was a gender neutral. So it had that below the other sign that already said man or woman.

So it's like, just say fucking bathroom. This is what I. Say bathroom then. It's, it's the guy that's doing the signs. The guy that's doing the sign. No, no, just listen to the guy. No, just listen. Fuck the guy that made these signs.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's not that sign. It's this, okay. That, the original one is the men. one right and then somebody at the at the meeting right said hey we need new signs i don't think that's what they said yeah yeah bro you know it's 2025 bro we need fucking new signs right well pedro i don't think we're trust you're a line but let me tell you something i bought the new signs on you know amazon right but you know what i'm going to keep the old sign on just in case yeah yeah no because he's lazy ah you're not because because the character's mexican see i think i'm just saying he's like i'm just

going to put this side underneath the old sign. Right. Right? Yeah. You know, but you know, they'll get it. They'll get it. But then Santito comes along and goes, I don't like that. I don't. Just say bathroom. By the way, they should all just say bathroom then. That's the deal. If you're going to keep doing this game, just say fucking bathroom. And it should, you know what the signs should say? If you're a guy, lift the fucking seat up and piss and put it down when you're done. That's what the sign should actually say. Don't piss on the seat. Don't be an

asshole. And then it's just a place to pee and poop. But by, but you- They should have one. This is big signage at its back. See the little white head on it? Yeah. What if they have race-specific one? Oh, that's funny. Race-neutral bathroom? No, just, no, specific.

Why don't we just go the reverse way? Oh, just white and black bathrooms? No, and different ones. Oh, you like water founts like that too? What else do you want to do? You want schools to be only one color? No, because, can I say something? For Asians, right?

That's like Carlos' house. We like lower, you know, toilet. You need lower sinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and lower things. you know we like you know yeah we'll make the Asian only yeah I get that what with the what with the black one having it well it'd be taller that's for sure on average yeah go back to that picture they'd be graffiti it's an art oh my god dude did you see that video of that girl that fucking had a panic

attack parasailing and then unclipped her shit and she die oh big time oh oh fucking big time big time died look at it her what the fuck that's not it oh there it is there's the footage so she's like she's freaking out she's freaking out and then she unclips the fucking harness why because she's having a panic attack you don't see anything gruesome here you just she just disappears but look she gets out of she takes off the jacket she must be having a severe look at how high she is this poor girl she gets out of the harness and is like no I don't want to be here anymore and then gone It's like Tom Cruise.

Yeah. Well, that turns out that mission was possible. I mean, mission complete. That's insane. I don't know why she would do that. She must have had a crazy panic attack. By the way, these things are all, these things are fucking atrocious.

How many times a year do you hear these accidents? They go down, kids go down to Mexico, and these things some fucking wild shit happens with parasailing. It's a terrible, they're so dumb. Can you see if she died? She did die, dude. It just said that in the article. Oh, my God.

But did she know she was going to die? I think if you're 200 feet up, you'd know you're going to die. Then why would she do that? I think she had a penalty. 60 accidents, injuries and fatalities. One death for 100,000 trips. Let me tell you something. That's worth it.

That's not worth it. No. One in 100,000 is worth it. There's no exact number of parasailing deaths per year. You know why? Because they all happen in Mexico. Yeah. And they don't fucking report it.

If there was a roller coaster and they go one in every 100,000 people die on this, would you go on a roller coaster? That's why I do roller coasters because it's not one in... Rollercoasters is probably like one in every fucking hundred million. Yeah. It never happened. But it puts more fear into the rollercoaster. That's what makes it funner, right, Carlos?

Come on. That's not what makes it more funner. I mean, two to four, that's not enough to get my blood going. That's not even fatalities half the time. It's just accidents. Health... The fatalities from these accidents are often guessed health issues, right? Like heart attack.

People have heart attack or stroke. Should drive fast on the freeway and turn your lights off for two seconds. Yeah. It's exciting. Okay. Yeah, I do that sometimes. Because I've always, like these girls,

they have all this dash footage of these girls texting and flipping their cars. That is some of the funniest shit, because I have a morbid fantasy of creating a water park, but it's everyone dies on each ride. Like I have a water slide.

Wait until word gets out about it. I have a water slide where you go in a tube, but he gets smaller and smaller. Oh, my God. That's like my nightmare. And then you get stuck, right? But the water's still flowing. Oh, Bob.

Other people, you know what I'm going to be? You're right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's one of them. Death Trap Water Slide. Yeah. Welcome to Death Trap Park. You don't have thoughts like that?

Absolutely not. What's wrong with me? I don't know. Yeah. Well, you know, Nate Bargazzi's making a theme park. Maybe you can pitch this thing for a theme park. Yeah. At Nate Land, you could die in the water park.

Exactly. There are specifically a few fatalities annually in the U.S. water parks. Drowning is a significant risk. By the way, no, this has got to be fucked up too. Every year a kid dies at those wave pools. Every year a kid dies at one of these wave pools. because they get stuck in the thing, they can't swim. Wave pools are sick, though.

They're sick, they're so fun. Yeah. You know what you and I got to go to at least one time? Look at, yeah, look at that the wave pool. Would you go in that? I don't think you would go in there. No, no, no, no. I've been to pools with you.

If there's one person in it, sometimes you're like, I'm not going in there. That's true. I don't want to go in if there's one person in the pool. I want it to be quiet. Yeah. That, that is a, this is genuinely, that's an anxiety attack. That's where you pull out the shoot. I can't do that.

Also, rest of peace of that girl. I wasn't making fun of her. I was saying, that's crazy. The poor girl had a panic attack and jumped. How much SARS are in that water? There's got to be SARS in there. That's where COVID really started at a wave pool. Oh, man, I saw a funny meme online of the kit of Ron Weasley.

I don't know. I can't remember the actor's name. Yeah. Of yelling. It was like he was holding gasoline in the air. Yeah. What did he say? Expensive petroleum.

Expense. Yeah. What does he say? This is a great This is a great. Dude, he's Ron Weasley 24-7 that guy, dude. That's amazing. That's so funny.

But that's almost like a wand he pulled up there. Yeah, that's why he did it. Wow. That's so fun. Expensive petroleum. God, he's so good. What a brilliant thing to play into the bit, though. So good, man.

Oh, I got bad news for you, too. Your boy Diddy just got 50 months. I know. Does he go to your meetings at Ron Weasley or no? He hasn't been in years. He doesn't look. Who's been showing up to your meetings lately? Kathy Griffin's there.

She leaves it. Yeah. Karatop. Look at the picture that they put up of Diddy bending over on the stool. Did you see that? They're like, man, they did he wrong? They drew him like bent over the stool crying. 50 months.

Yeah, that one, that second one. Yeah, they were like they did him wrong in the court drawing. Isn't that a good time, though? I mean, he was going to get way worse, right? He should have gotten one. He shouldn't have got like 40 years. I think four years he got off. He'd say 50 months, is that the truth?

Is that what it was? Four months? They cut that in half. He'll get out earlier. Yes, time served and all that. Time served and all that stuff, yeah. Yeah, probably get out in fucking two and a half a year. Yeah, and then would you go to the next ditty party when he gets out?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. How do you get invited to those? I've never been to one. How do you get invited to those? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't, yeah, you know, let me, who would get invited first, you or me? Oh, brother.

You. Carlos. Oh, Carlos first. Buddy, you and I don't get invited to any. I know. But I wonder what I would wear. To a ditty party? Yeah.

Get a suit? Easy, you want easy access to your tush. Maybe one of those assless chaps. Yeah. You know, with a little flap. I would be nervous. To a ditty party? Yeah.

Imagine he is going to throw a party when he gets out. You do know that. It's going to be a sick. It's going to be a sick. It's going to be sick. Would you either go to a Diddy party or a Cosby party? Oh, Diddy? Because I want to remember it.

Cosby party and no recollection of the party. Yeah, I just woke up in my car the next day. I didn't like it when he made those kids walk to fucking Brooklyn for cheesecake. That's like the first time I actually hated him. You don't even know the reference. No, I don't. Diddy did a show called, was it Making the Band or whatever the, what was the name of his show? Making the band.

Making the band. And he would make them go on these missions, right? And they had to go do shit for him. and he had to make one time he made them walk I want to say it was across Brooklyn Bridge for cheesecake making that's not a like

that's not a proof of that your loyalty is a good cheesecake though it was phenomenal cheesecake yeah I did depends on what kind of cheesecake it is no there's no cheesecake that good now if it was Tierra Mousseau we have a totally different conversation but Tira Mousseau is undoubtedly the best

Are they being televised? Yeah it was on MTV yeah well then yeah do it I don't do it I knew you would agree I know see TV guy I knew you to agree with this method of well no it's being Basically like this, it's like when Leah was on the Revenant, right? He was out there in the cold.

Yeah. That's so different than this. It's not. It's not. It's not. Leo, you do the job. Leo was in character. Yeah, and these kids are on the character. They're not in character.

I'm playing the fucking cheesecake guy. You're the cheesecake guy. Okay. You are. You're the cheesecake guy, dude. No, you are. Okay, what do you mean by that? What do you want on it?

Yeah. I don't like cheesecake. Well, then fucking. Why would I be the cheesecake guy? Well, exactly. What I'm saying, though, is if the cameras are rolling and they're playing a roll you're a reality show guy if the cameras are rolling you know what I mean it's just like get the cheesecake haven't you done this with someone where you made him get you breakfast burritos at like five

in the morning yeah but I pay them good okay yeah who got you breakfast still slightly to me like Alex and stuff I'll get I'll call Alex and go because um there's some breakfast burritos that don't deliver so you say go get it yeah and they get it yeah crazy what do you get 100 bucks lucky boys in Pasadena oh you've been there lucky boys Pasadena has the best Breakfast burritos in LA Look it up, I want to see what they have. And they don't deliver. Sometimes I'll call somebody and go, yo,

I'll give you $100, go down to Pasadena. Lucky boys fucking breakfast burrito. Do you get cheese fries with it? Yeah, get the whole thing. That looks good. The best thing about, see, that's the key. You have the breakfast burrito, right, to your right, it's the perfect amount of everything.

Dispersed equal. Eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage, ash browns, and that's it. Yes. And look at to the left, the best ranch sauce with the best hot sauce. And you duck them together. I know you don't get the cheese, chili cheese fries. No, I don't get that. I can only eat one lucky boy. One lucky boy burrito. And that's 900 calories. My second favor. That's a big burrito. Yeah. Is the corner cottage. Where the fuck is that? In Burbank. They deliver. Get the corner cottage breakfast burrito.

That's my second favorite My third favorite is Cofax. Coffax is good They've been good for years And if you don't have an opinion about breakfast burrito Don't be my friend

All right Do you have an opinion about it? I tell you who's got a pretty good ass fucking breakfast burrito Is right here Up at Sportsman's Lodge It's called Air One has a good one

No no fuck that What's the spot That's civil coffee They have a good fucking breakfast burrito I like there You know why? I like that they have chunky potatoes. I like those big cute potatoes.

I don't know, man. Ooh, look at that thing. Yeah. Mm. Oh, look at the big chunky. I like big chunky fucking potatoes, baby. Okay, dude. Give me chunky potatoes.

Look at that thing. Stop making that fucking noise, dude. Wait, and look at, but zoom in and look at, and look at the fry oil because you can still see through the burrito. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. By the way, as soon as I eat that. But lucky boy fucking burrito. Mm-mm.

As soon as I eat that, my stomach. Lucky boys. Me, lucky boy. Me with lucky boy. Okay. That's me with Lucky boy. I'll kiss the burrito. I'll fuck the burrito.

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to fuck a burrito, dude? I don't. Okay. That's your mind. All right, my bad, dude. You too, but I get it.

I get it. All right, yeah. We get it. If there are places in L.A. where you get the best of something, you know what I mean? That's why the city is still, why it's still holding up. Yeah, yeah. What should we be for Halloween this year?

The girl from me. Silent Hill F. Oh, that looks like you. Yeah. I've been playing that game. No, I haven't started yet. I have, I've been playing it. I'm going to give up.

I've died 15 times. I was going to say, it looks really hard. I don't want to deal with that right now. I'll tell you, can I tell you what it's hard? Hmm. There's only two modes. Story and hard. So story's like too easy?

No, story's too hard. I don't even know what hard's like. Fuck that then. All right. In the beginning of the game, you're stuck in this small little Japanese town. Yeah. Okay. And all of a sudden, there's these creatures that come out with a night.

It's fucking scary as fuck. What's the name of the game? Silent Hill F. And, um... I'm ready for some fucking Halloween shit. Are we going to go to a haunted house? Oh, yeah. Let's do it.

You see, you see that creature? Yeah, they're like... Is that Ali Wong? Yeah. Ali Wong's that. You play Ali Wong. And you're the first 20 minutes of game, you're just dodging, like running from them.

And you can hear them chase you. It's so petrifying and scary. And there's no, it's all mealy weapons. So you eventually you pick up a pole. Like that. Or, yeah, or something like that or like a pipe. And you're fighting these creatures with a pipe. It's so hard.

It's too hard. It's so fucking hard. But it is beautiful. And it's pretty scary. Bad Friends Halloween. What are we going to be for Halloween? Yeah, I was just writing it on my notes. Okay.

Bad Bunny. Oh, yeah. People are mad at Bad Bunny. Bunny for doing the Super Bowl? Is that what it is? He was so good on SNL. Yeah, dude, he's the man. He's the man. What's the issue? Go ahead. You're a Spaniard. What's the issue with Bad Bunny playing the Super Bowl? I think people don't lie that. He speaks Spanish. What percentage of America speaks Spanish? He speaks English. Yeah, like me. Right, bad English. Doesn't matter. 15% of the 14% of the, 45 million people speak Spanish. There's a lot of people will get it.

Me and Canto Bayilar. I think that funny is the fucking I la school yeah yeah we should do a bad friends Spanish edition and try to speak only in Spanish good luck

well how do you say bad friends in Spanish Malo Malos Amigos Malos Amigos Hey welcome to Malos Amigos Dude that was one thing that Leo did right in that movie Was he got his he got the Spanish shit right When he was like vibing with those dudes You could tell he they loved him

Shire can do that too with the Mexicans. He vibes with them. Oh, yeah, dude, look at it. Yeah, because Shia, but Shia's from where in L.A. He's from Echo Park. Yeah, he can do it. So is Leo. Yeah. Didn't Leo grow up a little bit nicer? Los Feliz area. A little bit nicer.

Yeah. I wish that we grew up, like, in L.A. Not me. Why? I like being from Chicago. It would have been easier, I think, though. Well, for the business? Yeah. I don't think so. But you watch a Charlie Sheen, right, documentary in Malibu, when Sean Penn and all those guys, neighborhood kids were making films. It started then

The dream That's a fantasy moment in time In the same way that like What are the chances that Like the Will Ferrell class of SNL It's like these are fantasy moments in time These are more I want to be in a fantasy moment

I didn't have a fantasy moment We're living in it right now Oh now yeah We made bad friends together This is our This is our little fantasy moment Yeah but you know It'd be cool that you're in an avocado field

With young Keanu Reeves You know what are you doing out there What? Going to avocados at each other cut it out yeah you're like cut it out dude cut it out bro yeah and uh well it was fucking great

what a great throw bobby you know I thank you Keanu I talk like that too I would probably talk like that too dude because Keanu Reeves would influence me yeah it's like bro dude fucking fantastic

you got an A in geometry now you just sound like your brother I know that sounds like Stevie yeah I think it influences you right so it's like you know you grow with De Niro

right De Niro Hey, you know, if you want me to help you tutor in that biology class, I think I'll help you. I think you would have been in Goodfellas. Don't you think? That's really good. Yeah. I don't want to grow up in L.

Don't you have you to grow up in San Diego? I'm two-time Nikki Bob. Two-time Nikki Bob? Yeah. Two-time Nikki Bob. I see Nikki Bob twice. Every time. Nikki by Nikki Bob.

That's why they call me two-time. Okay. What do you mean? No, I like it, Nicky Bob. Nicky Bob, Nicky Bob. That's right. That's two times Nicky Bob's. He always said everything twice.

Yeah, everything twice. Yeah, what's your name? Say it again. What's your name? What's your name? I'm slippery Santines. Yeah. Do the slides.

Do the slide. Cops never caught me. Slippery Santines. Yeah. As I sneak through. As he sneaks through. It's actually pretty good. It's pretty good.

They're pretty good, pretty good. You would have grown up in L.A. Okay, you would have grown up in Korea Town. Here's your life. Yeah, yeah. You're working, you're fucking busing at, at, at Seoul Park. Yeah. You're busing tables.

You're still going to take your same route. You're going to get mad TV. Like, nothing's going to change. Oh, you think that no matter where I was, I was going to be Bobby Lee. I was going to end up here. Or are you going to be on a roof during the riots? I'm a rooftop Korean, for sure.

For 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm at that Carl Jr. drive-through, like, what is going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. you would have been Bobby Lee no matter where you were placed in the world you were born to be Bobby Lee yeah you were gonna be you and that's what we love about you all right so those fantasy fantasies aren't real they're bullshit you're living a fantasy you live a dream we get to talk to our fans and do

stand up and like this is the best dream it's the best dream we've ever lived yeah I don't never want to wake up but it'd be great like you're in Echo Park like Shaya is like hey let's go duck hunting you think he's gonna be friends with you you you think you would have been his click I think Shia would have liked me because he liked me okay he likes you now all right chances of becoming famous or extremely slim said as less than 0.01% of the global population. And he's still not happy. He's still not happy. I'm so happy and so grateful.

You just wish you were from L.A. No, but when you watch that movie, Charlie Sheeens, it's just like, what an exciting life. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, but he lived under the guys of famous parents, so it, like, ushered him into the world, naturally. Yeah.

Right? Like I told you that documentary, I love battered bastards of baseball. It's great. Better bastardsers of baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball. There it is. There's Nikki two times. I am. Rocket money. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your saving.

That's right. Look, we all have way too many subscriptions. This is an old point that we've made so many times on this show. Bobby saved so much money by doing this. And by the way, Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in cancel subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premium features. Get alerts if your bills increase in price. If there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate to lowers your bills for you. This app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals.

They even talk to customer service. You don't want to talk to them. They're going to do it for you. You do not have to. Bobby had the dashboard and it laid out his total financial picture. So they include bill due dates and pay days. And it's easier to digest that way the way they lay it out. Some of us are visual learners like Bob and I.

You can automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. So they're trying to help you save your money. Stop wasting it. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash bad friends today. You heard it. That's rocketmoney.com slash bad friends. Rocketmoney.com slash bad friends.

Shopify. Hey, if you're running a small business, you know there's nothing small about it. There's a lot going on. And as business owners, we provide merch for you guys and the Shopify point of sale. system is unified command center for your retail businesses. It brings together in-store and online operations across up to a thousand locations. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisles shipped to customer, buy online pickup in store, all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time.

And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive. With Shopify POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first-party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY business on Shopify POSC, real results, like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed in WiiU Shopify and you must if you're running a business. Bob, tell them how to get it. We love Shopify and we've been using it since our inception and we love it.

Get all the big stuff for your small businesses right with Shopify. sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com.com slash bad friends. Go to Shopify.com slash bad friends. That's Shopify.com slash bad friends. Fly Air Transat. Seven time winners. Champions, Out of game. Fly the seven-time world's best leisure airline champions, Air Transat. Oh, that, I could be that for Halloween. Yes. Yeah, that's great.

Shave my beard like that. A little Fumanchu. Yeah. Where do the name Fumanchu come from? I don't know, man. Asia? It's a real guy. Is Fou Manchu a real guy?

It's a guy, yeah. Come on. You don't know that to be a fact. We're just guessing. The new Fu Manchu is invented by a British author, Arthur Wilde, writing as Sex, Romer. 1913, a series of novels about a sinister Chinese villain, Bobby Lee, becoming the embodiment of the yellow peril, Bobby Lee. The specific name likely comes from the generic Chinese. surname foe historical ethnic group manchu creating an exotic and threat and threatening identity for

the character so is fu manchu going to be x out of our vernacular now because it's on pc it's funny because people still call it fu manchu like isn't that called a fu manchu what up yeah right these guys probably just aren't people who would change how they talk the character name originated from arthur ward i like yellow peril yellow peril is a great name for your special yeah yeah yellow peril yeah that's good one are you ready to tape are you guys are you getting close no come on i'm not you're not at all close but when when um what hula goes it this is the amount of time we expect i'm like okay i got it's an hour right no what do they expect out of you 40 minutes you're doing just 40 i'm going to do more but i mean that's i mean

that's the long i have 40 so then i'm like okay you want to do the least possible yeah i'm doing least possible. Smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bank for your money. And then the next one is going to be great. Because I'll clean slate. I'm going to walk on and say I just can figure it out.

I genuinely think you'll never do another one. I think one is good. No, I'm going to do another one. I have to. Why? Because there's more personal things I want to talk about, about how I really feel that I don't do. And I want to go in, why are you smirking? Because it's all like a pipe dream because you were trying to show off for Louis.

Like, oh, after this special, I promise I'll really get into the. depths of comedy and you know okay you know my whole life has been this i believe in you no this is what i'm being real my whole life has been you can't do it i'm not no no no no listen my whole life has been this don't say me you can't do it it's not going to happen this and that and i always do it and i always prevail and i can't wait and then when that happens i would love that i could look at you and go what's up i would love that and then you're going to be like well i never set that right and then we're have another conflict. It's a you'll see moment.

It's actually just... You'll see is my... The whole reason why I'm even where I'm at. It's a good thing to bring up you'll see. Because that was my favorite phrase when we were in Australia. Bobby's first thing I was mouth said, I'm going to be jacked.

I'm going to get so jacked and I go... And you'll see. And I go, no, you won't. You'll see. Yeah. But we're past the year. You lost the bat. It doesn't matter that the sea hasn't happened.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. When the sea happens, you'll do it. When the tides change. All right, so I went to that fucking gym next to my house. Planet Fitness. I swear to God, I walked in there and I go, can I join? And they're like, well, we need your bank account. Why? I don't know why. I go, I just have a credit card and we don't do it that way. We need your bank account. That's what they said. I've never heard of that

before in my life. I've never heard that before in my life too. Bank account? Right. So then what I, no, but there's too many hot people there. What's wrong with that? Yeah, I don't want to be slothy in front of those people. You know what I mean? Just get a personal trainer then. Yeah. So then I brought my friend Alex over there you know my friend Alex that went for me at Taigi yeah and I didn't know how any of the machines worked either right so once we got we already went once

he's gonna teach me how the those machines you don't even know how to get in them it's like a pole away and you don't know how to put the stick in and I don't know what it works it's like that Japanese game show where they got to go through those cardboard put outs on the thing that's what it's like yeah yeah and then every machine works on one thing

like I don't want this muscle to be fucking thick. This is a good muscle. Look at this though. Yeah, I know. You don't want that? Yeah, but I don't want that. You don't want that? Yeah, yeah. Or like, you know, my elbow is gigantic and I'm like, I did this machine too long. All you really need to do is like push-ups, sit-ups, and then, you know, some squatty stuff.

No, but I want to learn how to do this one, the butterfly one? What the fuck is that? There's one where there sticks above and you do this. Wait. Well, you do flies? Yeah, and then you do this one, like flies like that, right? Yeah. I want to be able to do but even this machine is different. The bench press? Yeah. Just get on a free. Just get a, just get a

Go to Planet Fitness. It's evolved. Oh, they've changed. Yeah, I don't know what the machines do. Look at the machines that are fucking so complex. You sound like Kimmy Schmidt, who has like been buried for like 50 years. Yeah, yeah. Is he on all the machines? See that machine right there? I didn't sit on that.

I went reverse. My knees were on that thing, right? I was staring backwards. It would be funny to see a Bobby Lee workout video trying the machines for the first time. Yeah. Like, I don't know how to get into that. She's in it right now, just like that. Well, now I know after seeing her.

Squat and press. stress. Yeah. So you're not going to be going to Planet Fit. Why don't you have someone to come to your house to train you from your house? I don't have weights. You don't need much. You can do bands. You can do exercise with so little today. Yeah, maybe. Tomorrow night I just decided. I just literally decided because I have my pod tomorrow at 4 and then Alex will be there afterwards. I'm going to give them a little money. Go right to the time. And I go right to Planet Fitness. I'm going to finish the

training. I thought you couldn't get in without your bank. No, you can do a day pass. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah. I'm going to two-bit day passes. I'm going to figure out how all the machines work. I'll even video it. Okay. No, I'm being real. I want to do it. I want you to do it. Because I'm just, I think my thinness isn't good. What do you, what do you mean? I still look fat. What's the tone? You don't look fat. No, if you take my shirt off, it's not good. What do you mean? It's just, it's just lumpy. It's undressed like, I'm so no offense. We don't know what he looks like without a shirt. I do it. No offense, dude. And none taken? No, taken. So much offense. He's

I know what I'm saying is that it's can I be honest with you no I'm a pork too yeah you're more like a flan yeah yeah yeah I'm flaned yeah you're like a flan yeah what's dessert name it we're all desserts he's flan what's car what's Carlos what is it's like a churro no he's like a baguette oh yeah yeah a baguette yeah you nobody wants it nobody wants it yeah I'm flaky and yeah you have a great body it's fine it's fine It's up and down. Yeah. But it's pretty good.

You can see the muscles. It can be if I... Or they're supposed to be. If I work out. With me and Andreas, no. We don't know what muscles what. That's what I'm saying.

You get what I'm saying? But he's also... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a father now. He has less time to work out. Yeah. Dads have way less time. He's busy.

He's either editing, taking care of his kid or editing. Dad bodod. Dad bod. And dude, his... Dude, the chicks, especially in our age range, they love dad bods. They do?

Yes, they fucking. You ask any girl of an age that's our range, right? I'm sure girls in their like 20s don't like dad bods. They want young, but like 30s and up, those girls love dadbots. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Oh, I can't wait. I'm inspired today. You are? Oh, yeah, I'm doing it because you're right. I did say that by now I would. Oh, yeah. And I didn't. I did lose the way. Yeah, five weeks. Well, I'm going to start tomorrow. What can I, in five weeks, do you think if I start tomorrow in five weeks do you think you'll be able to see the difference if you have to if you go every every like other day yeah you would you have to go like literally three four days a week yeah yeah

yeah you're gonna do it yeah yeah i'm gonna do it god i think it's a great day i love this yeah yeah and who are you doing it for though that's the real question what who are you doing it for spite no i'm doing it because when i when because women find you attractive yeah i get giggles when i walk into the we spot steam room from who little Asians no from all the everybody They giggle because they know who you all I don't know if that's the case In my mind I think it's it But it could be my porgy

Andreas like body You know he's gonna go home and be like I'm gonna quit the show Or join the gym Yeah Are you a member at a gym? No Yeah

Your wife is though Yes She's in your wife's in phenomenal shape She works full time Is a full-time mom And still has time to go work out Damn dude How did you get her

He's funny Yeah, you're a funny guy Sorry You know what, I love you, you're right I see their skill sets Not taken Yeah, yeah None taken?

No taken? Hopefully not No taken. The amount of none taken He's building all this up To like shut us down Are you offended right now? No

I love you Yeah You know that? Deeply Okay Fans Fancy Does not

Does not buy it It's emotional abuse Yeah Yeah Is it an emotional abuse? Yeah I think if you were doing this to like your partner

they could like recording like show all their friends they'd be mad at you right like that Mel Gibson you should just shut up and blow me Andres is gonna have

this on loop in the courtroom Pork pork pork pork You know I apologize dude I'll use a different reference next time Okay Yeah I think it's just because he loves you

Yeah We all are mean to each other Because we love each other Thank you That's the only reason we do it That's the only reason Have you ever hooked up In the movie theater?

No, have you? Oh, yeah. Well, the movie's empty, right? No, people were there. You've to watch a bad movie, right? No, I've got a hand tug over a coat, underneath a coat. Like, Remlins 5, yeah, no one's in there, yeah. You couldn't fucking, it fucking would be impossible.

I don't think so, dude. Where are you fucking, unless no one's in there? Like in Germany, there's like on Pornhub videos of, like, Germans fucking. That's a casted porno. It's not hidden camera. No, it's like a real movie playing in the background. Yeah, but Germans are fucking lunatics. They're lunatics, yeah.

Well, you fuck me into Sisiata? They created two girls one cup, bud. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When are they going to add another cup? Yeah. They can't just share that one forever. Yeah, no, I got a handy tug in a movie theater. I thought that was kind of tight.

Was there a one girl one cup? I mean, why did you go to the second movie first? Elevated, dude. It went right to two. Do part one. Anyway. You know what that reminds me of every time. It's a old joke.

Every time somebody brings up two girls one cup, I always think about cake farts. Do you remember K. Oh, Kvarts were great. One of the best, dude. That was when the internet was really finding itself. Yeah. Now it's just evil and fucking dark and sad and nasty.

And you're like, you want to see you guys get killed live on Twitter? Well, look, we're going to create our movie theater of Indian corn and cave butter. Native corn. And native corn. So please come to our new movie theater. And they're going to be called. Fancy Corn. What?

What's the name of our theater chain? We're going to make a chain of theaters. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're good at naming things. Yeah. You've always been good. There's got to be a la. La.

There's got to make a French. You know what I mean? La Crochet. La Crochet prefer prefer. Yeah. That's what it's called. The preferred crochet. Yeah.

The preferred crochet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So please come see the La Preferrecheche. Yeah. We'll have fancy native butter, not Indian. Sorry, I said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll have cave butter.

Cave butter. All the fixings, right? No smart water. You don't like that. It's bullshit. Yeah, it's bullshit. Yeah, it's bullshit. Okay.

And we'll have filtered water. no charge no charge and you can pee at your seat there's little yeah thank you for being a bad friend it's called fire and ice

what's up what is it it's a move called fire and ice go on you get like mentos or like some sort of like mouthwashy make it super like crisp

and stuff and you go down on them like a girl does it to a guy What is this, call her daddy now? What show? Yeah, yeah. Where's the fire part? The ice. It's like, oh, so it's ice and ice.

It's ice and ice. Yeah, yeah. The name is more just. Where's the fire come from? Yeah, where's the fire part? You're saying the minty. The mintal and mint makes it hot. Yeah, I got that wrong.

But the ice is like just super intense and you go back and forth between the two. One time in high school, this girl, I was. Wait, okay. Go ahead. No, I mean, just, it doesn't make anything. Hit them. Go ahead, hit him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I could be remembering the escort. Yeah, I think it's just called ice. It sounds like ice and ice. Yeah, yeah. The door fucking flips open, right? There's guys with guns and stuff. Is that what it is? Show me your papers.

Yeah, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-ha. You're just going down on ice agents? Ice and ice. Yeah. No, I promise. Have you ever heard of Blumpkin? Oh, wait, what's that again? I don't know.

It's where you get ahead when you're taking a poop. That's right. Yeah. That's not a good one. That's not a good one. It's not a good one at all. Yeah. I mean.

What do you mean? Nah, it'd be fun. I've never had it. It'd be fun. Yeah. Kind of fun. Yeah. I've never had one.

A blump? No, not even close. Woo. I'm going to cut the people. I'm going to be able.