Badlands Media - Y-Chromes Ep. 91: Week 1 NFL Picks, Loser Punishments & JB's Sabbatical

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

Football is finally back, and so is the crew's favorite ritual: predicting every Week 1 matchup before a single meaningful snap. CannCon opens solo again, working through StreamYard chaos and a mystery about whether Alpha is secretly having a rough week (blame the chat member who spilled it) before Alpha strolls in with a printed pick sheet he plans to track all season long. The heart of this one is a game-by-game Week 1 draft where all three lock in picks, from the Patriots-Seahawks Wednesday opener to the 49ers-Rams clash in Melbourne that sparks a genuinely confused group attempt at time-zone math. Along the way they debate the Josh Jacobs suspension, mourn the departure of JB from the show, and cook up increasingly cruel end-of-season loser punishments involving karaoke, half-and-half jerseys, and forced hangouts. Expect hot takes on Malik Willis, Bengals faith, and a Pete Rose tangent. Pure football banter with the usual brotherhood roasting underneath.

The badlands, you're out of the badlands. Explain those badlands. That's a hell of a name. Well, I'm here. I don't know where everybody else is. No cam. No alpha. I'm running solo today.

Another can solo show, apparently. Yo, seriously. We're like in the group chat together right now. Like we're literally messaging back and forth with each other. group chat and uh and uh cam is is late alpha at least said he'd be five minutes late cam what are you doing bro oh well all right well let's uh let's hit some sponsors before we uh figure out where the heck everybody is all right guys are you tired of nicotine pouches that are drier than your ex text messages meet alp the moist flavor bomb pouches that actually deliver while

the other guys taste like grandma's dusty tea bag alp hits you with old flavors and 20 pouches per 10. That's five extra hits of satisfaction, three milligrams for chill mode and up to 12 milligrams for I just saw the group chat energy. Alp because your lip deserves better than a desert. Grab yours at badlandsmedia.tv slash alp. Use promo code badlands to get you 10% off and finally have a better time. Again, that's badlandsmedia.tv slash alp and use promo code badlands. All right. And, uh, oh, look who finally decided to show up. Wait, I'll wait until he turns his camera on. Look who decided to show up, huh? I had to find my gear, bro. Yeah, right. My jersey. I had my hat from last night. Even me high and dry, huh? Well, so, so real quick, what happened was

what happened was I saw 20 text messages in our group chat and I was like oh shit what did I miss and I see it's just jb yammering on and I'm like bro you're coming or not that's all I wanted to know you're coming or not yeah you don't have to you don't have to make a big deal I don't think jb is going to be returning from his sabbatical to the to ychrome so there's that unfortunate news but we will miss him oh look he's in the chat they fired me dale bullshit motherfucker You want me to put you on blast? J. B. I will put you on blast. He's like, hey, you good, you good without, you good without, without me.

And we're like, yeah, we good. We good. We're good, we're miss you, but we good. Yeah, J.B., we, uh, we did miss you, but if you're going to bail on us, man, fuck you, bro. Just get it. Yeah. All right. Lainey Lou says, I pray Alpha shows up. He's not had a good few days. He's had bad days. he's been not telling us about it if he's been having bad days i'll tell you that none of us are privy to any of this i don't want to be put well i mean if laney lou knows then he's putting his his stuff out on

blast so yeah that's news to me all right let's uh check out our next sponsor and that is our very own garb Vegas patriots the fight for truth doesn't stop at the screen it's hitting the road again bad lands media is coming to las Vegas september 17th through 19th for the next stop on the Great American Restoration Tour. Join your favorite Badlands hosts and like-minded Americans for three powerful days of unfiltered conversations with deep dive panels. I understand this is an emotional town. Real debates and tough questions.

No topic is too hot. No question too bold. Tickets are on sale now at badlandsmedia.tv slash garden. Can't make it to Vegas. Grab a virtual pass and watch from home. The Narratives. Fight for America's future. Vegas is calling. The restoration continues. Get your passes today. We'll see you in Vegas, Patriots. Ghost is so perfect in that video there. Hey, welcome to the to the late guy holding up all the stereotypes. The only thing he's missing is a two-two for his team's gear. No, I had a last minute I did.

And I was just like, ah, let's do this. And so I went and did something for us. When we say right now or wait until we get to it? Are we, are you having some hard times right now? Why? I don't know. Lainey Lou in the chat says, man, I hope Alpha shows up. He's not had a good few days.

What's been wrong with my few days? I don't know. I was like, damn, bro, is like one of my close friends and not telling me what's going on. Yeah, bro, I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie. I was low-key pissed. I was like, how the fuck does this person know? Alfa's been having bad days. he hasn't even told us.

I've been having the time of my life. What are you talking about? Is that the handler? Is Leni Lou your handler? Right. That explains a lot in the chat. That explains a lot in the chat. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you. Well, first of all, I was already in the studio, just so everybody knows. I saw that. Yeah, then I sent the message because,

you know how we do the picks? And then we're like, hold on. Hey, hey, hey, hey, no talk yet. Hold on, hold on.

All right, now we can talk football. Why'd you cut a show? How you got, man, I can't, It was just a tip. Wait, let me play just the tip. Yeah.

Just the tip. We can't do like 15 seconds. That was three. That was like, that was like. Okay. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So, you know, when we do our picks, we're just like, hey, what did we pick that one time? What do we pick that one time?

Yeah. So I'm actually, I actually printed out a week one pick sheet. Look at you. Yeah. I'm going to do it every single week. I mean, I'm still going to do the graphics, like when we do it. But we're actually going to have. has each one of our names on it.

Yo, my buddy has that exact same sheet. But yeah, they did it all last. So real quick, from all last year, my buddy and a bunch of people at this bar in a small town that he lives in, they all do every week. They do pickums for however much you get to pick one where you get a certain like double, triple if you win. But that's perfect alpha. That is the perfect. Yeah.

So we'll have it right there. So we'll have and I'm going to go get like a little half inch binder. And we'll have each, each pick through the whole season, dude. So. I'm stoked about it. I wish I would have did it. I wish I would have to remind Alpha that his only job on Y-chromes is to keep up with the picks and everything. And there you go. You're already ahead of me. Well, I have the totals from last year because it's still saved. So I have the totals. I just don't have like the week-to-week ones. All right. Well, you know, that was that was the big, that was the big news for today, ladies and gentlemen. This is the last Y-chromes for a very long time. time we don't have football and we got we got football but we're we're predicting the football we're not we're not talking about what happened in the football because nobody talks about preseason that's gay except harrison butker kicking a 72-yard field goal we did i still want to know what the bad

news that i'm doing with real quick can you guys stall for a second i got to go run and do something real quick okay see this is a perfect example like somebody get like like some final destination shit like should i not like get on the road or something like that i don't know man life has been good lately i know and and then she completely bailed out the chat so i don't i don't know i'm telling you that's your handler bro unless they're talking about like my son going to college but that's not bad it's you know it's bittersweet maybe i don't know i i honestly dude i was i was like man i'm going to have have a chat with alpha because we've we've talked since you know over the last few days and like damn bro he's not he's not telling me what's going on you know fuck i didn't i i didn't dime anybody out

i didn't tell anybody about the hooker's body i mean um jett york the jed york in in alpha prostitutes end up disappearing listen i'm just relieved it didn't come out to be a dude all right I know I know that's a low I know it's a low bar right there but it's given everything man I was just like just don't be a dude like just please don't do that to me like like don't like don't do that to me you know when I texted Alpha I was like at least it was a woman because I sent him that story as soon as I saw it I was like ah ha ha ha ha at least it was a woman but then we got Josh Jacobs beating up on women allegedly.

He's my picking one of my other leagues. I know. Well, Cam took him first round. I mean, it's not a bad pick as long as you got to, as long as he's going to be gone for what, four weeks? We don't know. Four weeks? They haven't said yet.

Well, every other you know, type of consequence in those situations has always been what? It's always been about a month. Bro, Matt LaFloor is just out there. saying we don't even know if he's going to be on the team he's saying we're confident he's so good to be on the team yeah yeah le floore that was that was what le floore his comments last night let me say josh jacob's suspension that's a blow to us bro we're already fucking hurting

that's a blow of fantasy bro give a shit about green bay that's a blow to fantasy he's serving a paid suspension that's such bullshit paid suspension either either he's on the team he's off the team there is no paid suspension i don't care he either plays or whatever here's here's what here's what i want to hear my conspiracy on this the 49ers did it no no no no no no so you know how he's kind of there's been this talk around how significant is his injury i'm i'm thinking that they're like hey let josh jacob's not injured yeah he has yeah he has like uh like i think it was like a is was it a hamstring it's not a major injury. It wasn't.

But before this even happened, because I've been watching him for fantasy, before this even happened, there was questions of whether he was going to be ready for week one. So my conspiracy is that they knew this was coming down the chain. So they got with the commissioner said, hey, let's do this at the front end so that he can serve his suspension will allow this injury to heal up anyways. Okay, well, then I'm okay with it.

Yeah, he had a groin injury. Yeah, yeah, he was, you know, something like that. So I, my conspiracy is, bro, that rather than had this happen later in the season when it would have developed, they're just like, yo, hey, commission, this is coming down. Let's address it now. And let's put this at the front in, you know, through. And I'm telling you, watch, it's going to be like three weeks or a month. It's going to be just enough time for him to get over that injury. Okay. So it says that he injured his groin. It kept him out of practice on August 6th. And then he was returned to full practice on the 18th. and the 19th and that he'll be taking team team reps by the 26th but of course then all this happened so maybe maybe the the healing you bro delayed and they're like i dude i don't know what he's going to get man because like if i'm telling me if it's if it's if it's if it's three weeks or month i i did my conspiracy theory is is confirmed if that's what pops off well i i'm I'm worried that it might be the entire season because that's, I mean, that's not something.

If it's the entire season, well, then my conspiracy theories out, it's off the window. But if it's a month or less. And the NFL has gone full woke and with the stuff that just happened to the good, good guys with Calloway and the blowback on that from an ad, not even an actual domestic incident, could be some trouble right there. Could be some trouble. I'm nervous. And Josh Jacobs is a fantastic player. He has not had his day in court yet, but the NFL doesn't have to wait for that. They can do it preemptively.

So, yeah. I was listening to you guys. So, yes, people, I did pick Josh Jacobs. Let me phrase that. I auto draft in Josh Jacobs. I'm literally sitting there with auto draft when you're doing the stream. All right. So I'm not logged in, right?

I got everything set up for the stream. I'm not even logged into my sleeper account. first first pick for me comes through Jordan's like you're up I'm like I need the link Jordan sends me a link that you can't even click on my dude's fuck with me so I finally get in I'm like all right perfect and I'm like I got my guy I'm ready it goes to my pick and then bloop it just takes my pick I'm like what the fuck I look down it has auto draft on oh it was on auto I'm sitting there for like 30 seconds just waiting to click lad McConkey or not like Brock Bowers Brock Bowers Brock Bowers first pick was going Brock Bowers or was that my second pick whatever my second pick was was going to be my first pick if you went tight end first i would have been like okay you're better off with josh jacobs but i don't even think you could pick brock bowers wasn't he one of the keepers i was i had him i was gonna keep him but i decided not to do cam dirty like that because he traded for me late he traded him to me late late in the season so don't worry i'll remember that when you need jordan love later in the season i will i didn't i didn't i didn't keep bowers i

Jordan even no no I'm saying I'll remember that for that I will if anyone else asked for Jordan love and can't con wants him can's getting him because he he has he has looked out for me but I did take his quarterback as a third quarterback so yeah as a third quarterback douchebag alpha we got to know man oh we gotta know right Mike Evans and and who is Debo Samuel what the hell are you doing I don't understand the question What do you mean? Why the hell would you draft two receivers on the same team? Debo Samuels is one of my fallbacks.

He's either if Evans doesn't play the way he's expected to play, then I can plug in Debo. Or if anybody, because there's, listen, the way you all, you know, picking like some retards out there, people are going to want trades. So Debo represents a great trade. You took him early. That was like sixth round. I took Debo like the 11th or 12th round. What are you talking about? Yes.

luck i'll tell you as a matter of fact i'll tell you exactly he might be right about that one oh okay well that's not so bad still though it's the it's the it's the two i get your strategy it's not like they're gonna play it i wouldn't put them on the board at the same time i'm looking at that like what the hell is this guy thinking yeah okay i mean i was i was looking at debo but just i was surprised you still available how that he i don't think he can bring up the draft anymore You should be able to. All right. Well, since we don't have any,

since we don't have any highlights or anything, let's go ahead and just have a laugh at people guessing NFL teams. Oh, here it goes. I'll tell you right here. No, that's, I thought that's. I love these videos, by the way. Yeah, these are hilarious. All right, here we go.

It's a pirates. From the islands of the Caribbean. Atlanta. Florida Florida Atlanta Florida Oh Texans Texans Mm-hmm

Eagles Um Um Um Please don't be the Eagles Who's Who? Who?

Patriots? That's the Patriots That's the Patriots Stupid thing Don't I'm That actually does not exist If you knew that something like that Didn't exist

What did you think you were going to to see. Texas. That's the Cowboys. That's the Cowboys. Texas. Got that. I want me some Gloria. Clearly the Colts. What the hell? Oh, those are

so good. I could watch those all day long. Just, just, all right. Ninth round. Ninth round is what I drafted them. It's not that late. But it's not as bad as the 11th. Or I mean the 6th, but it's better than the 11th, I guess.

Or, no. Worse than the 11th, better than the 6th. There we go. That's what I'm trying to say. All right. So we ready, boys? We ready to get into another season? Let's do to it.

All right. Are we going to put a friendly wager on this? Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know. What are we doing? I'm down with whatever. What are we doing?

We doing a winner? Are we doing a loser? Oh, I don't like the loser thing, man. because I don't like the loser thing because there's only three of us. Should we do something where the the two losers have to do something for the winner? I mean, I like, I like something completely. I like, let's just shame the loser. Like, let's just shame and humiliate the loser.

How about, how about you have to, uh, how about you have to start every show that you're on with whoever the winner. is a genius and the best whatever we can come up with like a phrase that takes too long and then everybody like welcome to that good morning bad landia welcome to badlands daily so-and-so is the god of fantasy football not fantasy football of pickam football I don't know something like that the only reason and this is this is actually this is working in my favor the only reason that's a little unfair is you have a show every day alpha is a show almost every day I have my show on

Saturdays. And if you guys aren't watching, I'd say that shit. We can set a quota. We can do like five shows. You have to do it on five shows. Or like, I don't know, we'll, we'll think of something. We'll think it doesn't have to be shame. How about how about we decide the shame's not fair with only three people. We can we can decide before the first week is done with. Like the first first week of the season is completely done. We'll have it solidified. I like don't stop believing. Loser shaves their head. I mean, I like I like sure. I I like when the season's done, obviously, so we know who won, who lost. Whatever Gart follows that, they got a karaoke.

I'm a loser, baby. So why don't you kill me? And then we get to record it. We get to record it. And we can edit it however we want. And then the following season, we can just play it whenever we want. Free for all to play that little clip whenever we want. We'll see.

That's not a bad idea. Also, we can make the loser has to wear the other person, the winners team jersey for the offseason. We'll get, we'll get a, like it'll be a half, it'll be a half 49er, half Atlanta Falcon jersey, and you'll have to wear it. Why do you think I'm losing? I was going to say, was he going to hit him? What's he going to hit him that he's saying you're losing? All right. The money this morning, baby.

Loser has to hang out with J.B. Who's the rest of hanging out with JV? Here we go. Oh, that's, that's brutal, man. Yeah, man. All right. First up, Wednesday night football. I hate this, by the way.

I am not. Is this something permanent or just for the first week? I don't know if this is just, let's, let's go to week two and see. Let's see. Week two. No, just, we're back to Thursdays. Okay, good, good. Okay, so, okay.

So just week one. And then I think like Christmas or Thanksgiving, I think there's a weird game, too. Like Thanksgiving, there's a weird game, too. Like Thanksgiving, there's a game on Black Friday. There's a Black Friday game, I think. Yeah, the Packers actually, I think, play on Wednesday. No, it's not that.

What week is it this week? I think the Packers play on the Wednesday. Yeah, Wednesday, it's 25th. They play the Rams. That's going to be huge. In Los Angeles, too. All right. All right, back to week one.

Here we go. Wednesday night, starting it all off the New England Patriots versus the Seattle Seahawks in Seattle. I will go ahead and start this one off. And I am not vetting against Seattle in Seattle, especially against Drake May coming out, sophomore slump. So you're going to Seattle. I'm going Seattle.

All right. J.B. said, motherfucker in the chat. He knows. He knows spending time with him is a good punishment. Now I'm just playing J.B. I'm going to Seattle as well. Yeah, no chance celebrating their, was it second? It's only their second Super Bowl that they've won?

Yeah, because they won that one with Pete Carroll and then they just won this one. Yeah. Seattle is going to be so fucking loud. There's no chance now when they wins that game. Yeah. Do I want to start off because I agree with you guys. I agree with you guys. I'm going to New England.

I'm going to start. Same strategy as last year, Alpha. It worked for you so well, bro. It did. It did. All right. It got you that W. They got me that W.

What are you talking about, bro? I won last time. What are you talking about? Yeah, exactly. What's up next? All right. Next up, we've got the San Francisco 69ers and the Los Angeles Rams in Los Angeles, Thursday night football. Cam, who you got?

So that game's in Melbourne, Australia. Stick the same order. So I don't have to shuffle the same order. That's not fair. Yeah, to start the season, it's the beginning of the season. Yeah, it's got to be random. You can't just have me pick first every time. Yeah, we switch it up next week with the loser of the week.

Right. I mean, it's a little different with only three of us as opposed to four, but still. I will go first, though. So first of all, this game is actually in Melbourne, Australia. The Melbourne. Oh, yeah, it is. I forgot about that. Yeah, so that's, was it, 835 p.m.

I used to know this. It's like 18 hour difference. I'm not doing that math, but it'll be a travel. But they're both West Coast teams. Exactly. But it's still a long flight. I did that flight. It's 15 hours.

No, it's, yeah, 15 hours. I'm going to, I think the Rams would travel better. I'm going to go with the Rams. That's honestly why I'm picking them. So Cam's going Rams. We already know who Alps is. Yeah, we all know who I'm going for Niners, baby. And con.

Hold on. It's 14 hours. behind us. So at eight it is like six in the morning. 6.35 in the morning? In the morning? Yep. Wow. Yep. I wonder how long they're going to be there. Holy crap. Wow. That is weird. But by the way, you guys have done this differently because you guys were an actual war. But when you travel for people that don't know, when you travel halfway around the the world and you have to do physical activities because i've done this point soccer

fucking brutal until your body acclimates fucking brutal man yeah and that's why we when we when we deploy we stay in the rear for like two weeks before we get pushed out so we get acclimated to that time difference yeah you you'll catch you'll catch people falling asleep like jackey corrected you she said it's 1035 a m 1035 a m if it's 14 hours behind us eight no you go eight hours back to noon and then four hours back before that no it's 14 hours so it's oh and then six back from there it's six o'clock in the morning yeah am i am i crazy and oh oh no no no she she's right because they're ahead of us so they like like like for them it's going to be it's going to be friday okay friday at 6 a.m.

i thought it's 10 a.m yeah no jacky's right wait so it's 327 a.m and melbourne right now It's 130 here, so it's 12. She's right. 14, yeah, okay. Okay, so they're ahead of us. Okay. I am going to go with, man, I'm going to go with the Rams.

This is a toss-up, man. We know, no, I don't think it's a toss-up. I don't think San Francisco, they don't even know how to play as a team. They haven't been all in the field at the same time. Just remember that we beat the Rams. I know. But I'm going to go with the Rams. The toughest division in the NFC.

Can't argue it. That's all the season finished. You can't argue that toughest division in the NFC, the record sticks for itself. Outside of your division, you played like one team that was over 500. Don't start this shit, Alpha. You guys had the weakest schedule. ESPN says it. You had the weakest schedule in the NFL.

Fantasy analysis out there says it. Toughest division. Your division looked good because you played bums all season. I show you number by number. You just got to accept it. All right. Maybe this year, maybe this year it'll change.

I doubt it. But as it stands right now, based off last year, NFC, toughest division. All right. So, my schedule.

All three. So where's my sheet? You got Atlanta Pittsburgh as the next game? Yeah, that you pick that. No, Tampa, Cincinnati. Right, Tampa, Cincinnati. At Cincinnati, one o'clock.

And you're picking first. Yeah, I'll go Cincinnati. So now it would be either one of you guys. Can I go. Is G. Fontas in the check? I don't see G. Fonte's in the chat. I'm going with Cincinnati. So you said Cincinnati, right?

Yeah. The way that G. Fonte spits off facts about the bucks, I'm afraid that G. Fonte is going to find out where I live one day. It's just come up and show up on my doorstep. No, you're talking shit about my bucks? My Baconneers? I am going Cincinnati. I think the Bucks are going to be terrible this season.

I hope they are. I think they're going to be terrible. Or at least they're going to start terrible. Remember last season they started like one and four? Yeah. And then they went on a run. I mean, the division they're in is our division. So if you start off one and four,

everybody else is one and four. So we're all going Bengals. Yeah, we all went Cincinnati. So now you're up for picking first again. All right. New Orleans at Detroit, Detroit is going to mop the floor with the Saints. Yeah, I'm going Detroit too.

Not even because of the Saints, because of Detroit. But I don't know, man. I just, I just have a problem with the Saints because I'm a Falcons fan. They always find a way to beat us. They'll pull out some wins throughout the season. They'll end up like a little bit under 500. But you are Detroit on this one? Yeah, Detroit all day.

All right. I'm Detroit too. The New Orleans one's done a chance. problem. All right, Cam, you're up for picking first. All right. I was going to announce it. Next up, we've got the New York Jets

versus Tennessee, and this is probably a matchup for the first pick of next season. Go ahead, Cam. Well, tickets are $28. And at an NFL game, if they're $28, that means both two. No. But look at it. Look at it. Look at it on the screen.

$28.28. The game of four is $223. $20. I'm going, I'm going to go with Tennessee because they're at home, man. That's literally it. That's all I got. All right. Tennessee for Cam.

Toilet bowl, pick the home team. Actually, that's not even a good, that's not even a good selection, though. I am going to go. I'm going to, oh, man. Bad and badder. I'll go with the Titans. Who's the Jets quarterback? right now. I don't even know because I think Cam Ward is still with the Titans.

So we're all, we're lined up the same on all these, these last three picks. Justin Fields. I'm, I'm, I'm not bad. I mean, it's not good, but. What do you got for the next game? Baltimore, Indianapolis. Baltimore, Indianapolis. That should actually be a decent game. Yeah. The Titans got Cam Ward. Yeah. By the way, guys, I honestly don't care if I go first. So if you guys want, I'll just go first every time on this. No, we can cycle through already even been a pattern. It's fine.

I want Derek Kennedy to do good. So I'm going to go Baltimore. Okay. Cam. This one's tough for me, man. Bolt's quarterback is, I don't even know if Daniel Jones is back because he was hurt at the end of the season. I'll go Baltimore too.

James The bishops I have Lord Jackson So I have to go That's true Baltimore but You could hedge your bets I know

Either fantasy or Or our pickums I'm gonna go Baltimore All right And I always go Pete Rose baby I hate it Bet on my own team Against my own team

Pete Rose bet on his team Yeah that always piss me out I'm like How can you kick a guy out For giving himself extra motivation Yeah, he never bet against his team. That's the wild. Because how are you going to throw a game that you bet on your team to win?

Exactly. There's no foul play there. He's going to try extra hard. Right. It was stupid. Yeah. I think that was so stupid. All right.

Atlanta dirty birds taking on my boy, A. A. Aaron in Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh. Hey, you know, I'm an Aeron fan now, bro. Ever, ever since that shit, he pulled. off on that interview. I'm like, yeah, dude, I'm a fucking

AA. You will not hear me talk shit about that man this year. The best thing that he did, not the Fauci part, he called out the exact city his P. And they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, on their show, bro. Yeah, and he's like, what? And he said, what are they going to say about me now?

He was, he's like, yo, yo, not us, man. That's like Fauci. Just to put in perspective for the people that don't understand football, what A.A. Ron did is like going to his homie's house, right? His homie's wife's

cooking dinner and serves him, he takes a bite and he looks at his homie while his wife's looking at him says, your wife cooks like shit. Just to put it in perspective, that's what Aeron did, man. At his homie's house in front of his

homie and his wife, after she just cooked dinner and she's there washing the dishes. He said, yo, your wife, her food tastes like shit, bro. What is she going to say about me now? What is she going to say about me now? And then the homie says, yeah, bro, let's not talk about that. And he's like, I'm here for another hour. I keep talking about her shitty food.

They think the first time. Yo, Cam, you know what I just realized? What? This fag has no San Francisco stuff on. Oh, that's why I said the thing about the two-two. He's missing his team's gear. What a freaking loser. It's not gang day?

Yeah, it is. It's the only game day we get. We don't play. We don't play football. This is what we got. Yeah. When it starts. It's our.

Young motherfuckers are dressing up during preseason. It's our, no. Two days we got the regular season. It's regular season. There's no more preseason games. It's regular season. That's, that's,

that's only days. First game is the ninth. Oh, what the, oh shit, you're right. Motherfucker. Y'all motherfuckers are dressing up. Oh, that's right. bro. That's no, no, no, that's right, because we have to do Battle of the Sexes next week.

Yeah. I completely forgot why we were doing this. Yeah. We're all over here just like, yeah, you're excited. Y'all y'all, y'all motherfuckers are dressing up for Halloween on Labor Day, bro. Nah, we're good. We're good. Preseason's over though, though. There's no more preseason games. Yeah, they give them like a week, I think, before the, yeah, I don't think there's any more preseason. But it's still preseason. Yeah. All right. But we get it, bro. It's, it's our, I was looking like, I was like, I ain't going to say nothing. These motherfuckers look foolish right now. I ain't going to say nothing.

J.B. is in chat like these faggots dressed up the season hasn't even started. No, your bitch ass only wears San Francisco gear during the season because you don't want anybody to know that you're a 49er fan that hasn't won a Super Bowl in four decades. That's what's really up. Everybody knows that I'm a fan of the greatest team to ever play the game.

You know you're comfortable in your skin when you wear a falcon's gear outside. See, look at Raton Gator. He said, no, fool. It's a week away. J.B. Tell him. J.B. May, J.B.

Shut your ass up. All right. Next up. This nigga didn't even show up. All right. So we got to get on this Atlanta, Pittsburgh thing. Let's go. All right.

It doesn't matter. Dirty birds for me, bro. You know that already. Yeah, for this week. For this week. I'm going, I'm going Pittsburgh. Sorry, homie. Hold, hold, hold.

That's all good. I was going to say, which one is your so? Cancon. Make sure I mean, She went Pittsburgh. Cam, you're going Pittsburgh? No, Atlanta. Oh, okay.

You know what? I respect that. Thank you. Thank you. I respect that. Toa. Hold on. I got it.

Already. He's going to be a hawk two in it all over the field. I went Pittsburgh just in case anybody was curious. All right. All right. Whose picks now? I don't know. I'll go first

But I mean you could just put all three in front of you and just like lift it up when it's and just go down the line and then you determine who picks next Chicago at Carolina Chicago at Carolina. I'm going to go Chicago Um I'm gonna go Carolina Me too Yeah really can tell me go walk me through this I want I'm curious why you guys are going to Carolina go first can Uh because Caleb Williams is a fluke and Chicago sucks.

They finished with some momentum though. Didn't they finish with momentum though in the season? Yeah, they did. They did. They definitely did. You don't think they'll carry that over? Nope. The bear still suck.

I think I think Brian has a little bit of a bias because he fucking hates the bears, obviously, but I'm piggybacking what he's saying. It's not that I think Caleb Williams is a fluke. I think last season was a fluke for Caleb Williams. I think he's going to be a mid-tier quarterback. I think he'll hold his own in the NFL. Hold on. I got,

hold on. I got blocked J.B. from the chat for that last comment. I go block them. Tell me, I got blocked him. So your coach is getting hummers in the car and gets an accident. Your,

your owner is out there in a trailer park soliciting hookers. Bro, in a trailer park. You own an NFL franchise and you're soliciting hookers in a trailer park. Is he really? Is that for a story? Yes. Yes.

He was in a trailer park. I'm not going to lie to you guys. That gives them more street credit to me. He was like, let me see what the people are doing. He's like, I don't care if I get gonorrhea, herpetitis, syphilitis. I don't care if I get AIDS. I'm going to the trailer park. Listen, y'all want the insider information?

Yeah. What? That's where the best hookers are? Nah. He was picking up one of his players that was doing some shit. He wasn't supposed to. He took a rap for him. And when they shut up, he didn't want the player to get suspended for

the season so he's like fuck it i'll say i got the handy i'm gonna that could actually be that'd be pretty legit that'd be pretty that had if that happened in an NFL circles every free agent would be going to the 49er thing like yeah the owner's got your back bro for real bro like honestly that team better be fired up you do can go out there get 20 30 000 escorts bro yeah there's more to that story bro there's more to that story i definitely agree he had criminal tools too. I don't know what those tools were, but he he had a conviction for criminal tools and soliciting a prostitute. One day in prison for each and a $150 fine. Damn. He paid $140 for the prostitute.

Can you, bro? There's more to that story. Yeah, for sure. More to that story. All right. Cleveland at they don't exist. That was great. The most one is not real. Cleveland at the Jacksonville, Jaguas. Jaguars. I think I have to go first on this one. Yeah, you're on this one, can't come. I'm going to go Jags that don't exist. Why are you picking the sorriest ass team in the NFL, man?

I know, I know. Duval. I'm picking the Jags too, man. All right. Duval. You're welcome, J.B. Browns are going to whip that Cleveland. Cleveland ass.

Browns are going to at Cleveland ass. They do it every season. You mean they're going to beat themselves? Yep. Like they do every season. Is that what you're implying or did you accidentally slip up there? So who are you picking?

The Browns. Oh, you're picking the Browns. Yeah. I'm going against odds on this one. Going to be the upset. So you realize you said the Browns are going to whip that Cleveland ass, right? Oh, I thought they meant the Browns were. I meant to say Jacksonville.

I'm like, Are they gonna be? My brain don't agree with me, bro. My brain, like, what are you? Like, we're trying to save you for the last second. I thought the season started Wednesday because we don't have the, the little dude, my brain was just like, no, send him a signal. Send him a signal.

Yeah, man, you slipped up. All right, Buffalo at Houston. That's going to be a tough game. Yeah. That's my turn on this one. I'm going Buffalo. Never go against Josh Allen, I guess. Can't.

Houston is at home. Nah, I got to go Buffalo. Hans right. Texans. You're riding the Texans train. The Texan Texans. Just like last year. I wrote them last year and I'm riding them again this year.

The Texans, baby. That would be close. That one would be close. And arguably on par with the Jets versus Titans. We have the Miami Dolphins. versus the Las Vegas, Raiders, tickets for 255 for this game. I wouldn't pay $255 to watch a Dolphins game if my life depended on it. I barely pay 55.

It has to be like the end of the NFL, bro. This is almost this is as bad, if not worse, than the Jets Titans. Yeah. Yeah. If I had to, I'd rather go watch the Jets Titans game than this game. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I would like it because I'm a.

Dolphins fan but yeah I'm with you on that who's being first uh cam it's you um I'm gonna go with yeah this is hmm I mean Vegas is at home no man I'm going Miami I'm going Miami Miami Sam's going Miami son of a bitch I'm going Miami can go dang it are you serious we're not we're not rooting for the Raiders and I have Brock Bowers. The same way you'll never see me vote against the Niners. You're never going to see me vote for the Raiders. Yeah, he hates the Raiders.

I can hate the Raiders, bro. Don't you have someone in your family that's a Raiders fame? A lot of people, my family Raiders fan. Raiders and Cowboys? Isn't your brother Raiders fan? He's a cowboy fan. Just as retarded. Yeah, just as bad. I'm going to go with the Dolphins. I think, I think Malik Willis

is going to shock some people this season. That's why I picked them. what you said about them. I think you're going to see Malik Willis do some, do some special things this season. There you go. Somebody clip that. Cut that.

That's my hot take. All right. We got the greatest team ever to exist. Small town franchise owned by the people, the Green Bay Packers versus the shitty ass male cheerleader Minnesota Vikings. J.B. still stuck on the retarded jaguars in the chat. he's didn't they're not returned

they are bro they are right they are who's up for this one can con well we already know where cancons going so it doesn't even matter green bay

right you ain't been against your team of course I just got to check green bay green bay kind of gay like that uh I'm going Packers too

man really without Josh Jacobs and without Micah Parsons you're going Green Bay I wouldn't go Green Bay If I knew they were starting Josh Jacobs, I definitely would actually. I wouldn't say definitely. This is a good game. I'd be more confident in Green Bay.

Don't know what that backup running backs like. I picked them up just in case. I'm going to go Minnesota on this one. If I wasn't, if I wasn't, you know, didn't have an allegiance to the Packers, I would go Minnesota in this game. If Jacob was playing, though, I would go Green Bay. Yeah, with Jacobs, no. No question. Or with Michael Parsons, either one.

Either one of those players. I'm going Green Bay. Parsons is out? Yeah, he's out until week, I think four. He comes back against Dallas, whether that's week four, week six. I didn't even know that. Yeah, he has a no football rule. He had a no football rule after the injury, and that expires on, I think, the sixth, a week six, I think. So, next up, we've got the Washington Redskins playing the football.

Philadelphia fly eagles fall. It's my turn. I'm going Philly on this one. And Cam, you're next. Philly. Cam's going Philly. Cancun, I imagine the same. No. I don't know about that.

What? I should say can't probably not. No. I think this is the one game. I still can't stand the Eagles. And I think, I don't know how much their offensive woes are going to carry on from last season, but I think the redskins are going to surprise you guys with this one.

All right. Next on deck, Arizona. Oh, God. The Arizona Cardinals versus the Los Angeles superchargers. I don't know who's next, so whoever wants to. I'll go. I'll go. L.A.

What did you say? Does anybody going to Arizona? No. No one's going to Arizona, and the tickets are $36 as opposed to. the other game at the same stadium that's like $200 and something dollars. Poor Chargers, man. Chargers, they have no fan base. They both play at the same stadium?

Yeah, they share so-five. Yeah, them and the Rams. So everybody's going charges, right? Oh, you're right. You're right. That game is in... It's in Australia. That's probably why it's... Well, it still would be expensive for the Rams, though. Yeah, oh, for sure, for sure.

The Rams got a draw. Just confirmed me, everybody's going Chargers, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't think it's, I don't, I don't think the game's that cheap because of the, it's the Chargers. I think the games that cheap because it's the Cardinals. Yeah, I agree. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if it was the Rams, though, I bet it'd be like $55. Gotcha. All right. And then we've got Dallas Cowgirls playing the New York football giants. I'll go first. I'm going to go with, this is a terrible idea, but I'm doing it. I'm going with the Giants. And I'm going with the Giants strictly because Jackson Dart.

I actually like that pick, homie. Not going to lie. I did. I liked that pick. But because you made that pick, I'm going to have to go with the Cowgirls. Hold on. I got to scribble this out.

Do you see what John said in the chat? What's up, John? You all sleeping on my draft. Your draft was doo-doo. Right. Should have just left it on the auto pick, bro. Yeah. Yeah, you should have left down an auto pick, John.

All right. So I'm exing Dallas and putting a circle around it since I had to scribble out the Giants. And then fucking hate the Cowboys. I hate it. Don't do it, man. Pick the G, man.

Fuck it. I hate them too much. I'm going to start the season off with emotional picks. I'm going Giants. I mean, it's the first week of the season. And so that's about where you would start. So, yeah, it's not a bad, not a bad idea. And then Monday night football, I think we only got one.

We got two Monday nights for the first six weeks, right, until the buy start, I think. I'm not sure. I mean, this week because of the Wednesday night game, I'm sure. But on Monday night football, we've got the Denver Broncos, Kansas City Cheaps. All right, Ken Kahn. Is Mahomes back? I don't know. he was he was on the draft roster yeah yeah but i don't know big old knee grace let me see

but to be fair verify that you're not a bot first of all just to provide clarification in the chat ratler gator says thanks rebels why crones fired me jbby was not fired is this since trump is not president badlands doesn't have to abide by d e i so we just listen two's too many two's too many well that's that's that's a little bit that's a little bit different because that would be also doing it based off of race it's because of uh his lack of showing up man jb you got fired you got fired because you weren't showing up to work man you don't show up to do your job you're not gonna you're not gonna keep your job man now jb was not fired people oh i told him he's either a fed or a staunch zionist and they're one in the same so yeah

you know jb did not get fired jb just decided that he didn't love us anymore. Yeah, you know how the Zionists be. They infiltrate and then they leave and when they leave, they just try to destroy everything on the way out. I got a tech. I saw J.B. text the group and I was like, oh, he's coming back because it's football season.

Then he's like, y'all want me back? And we're like, not really. And he's like, all right, well, I'm out. That's not what happened, actually. There was something that happened first. There was something that happened. He texts the group. He texts the group.

And the group responded, new number, who did? And while you were talking JV in the chat says we're back talking shit He knew you're coming after him All right So in the chat Gretzky Gretzky with the tea at the beginning says Mahomo is back So he's he is back

I'm going to go to Denver because I don't think my homes is going to be Anywhere near of what Mahomes used to be All right cancans going Denver I'm going Denver and Cam, it's on you. I'll give us some parody in the Monday night game. I'll go Kansas City. Risky pick. Denver's, I think Denver's...

The only reason I'll say it isn't risky is because you're playing at home. Kansas City playing at home. That's why I think I might get the dub here. Pat Mahomes at home. I know he came back from injury, but the Chiefs and the refs. Chiefs and the refs versus Denver, so good luck, Denver. It's a risky,

call, man. You got old ass Kelsey and you got if T. Swizzies at the game, I'm going Kansas City. Anybody know if she's going to be there? Did they get married? I don't think they did because we would have seen like they would have like cut every news

outlet ever and broadcast the whole wedding. It's going to be one of those things where they got married in private just to conceal the fact that they never got married. All right. So there it is week one. And yes, next week we'll be doing the the Battle of the Sexes ahead of Gart Vegas. So threw up my schedule, threw off my schedule, not threw up, threw off my schedule. So what you got, Cam, what was I got some, I got some hard hitting news for you guys.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey were married on July 3rd at Madison Square Garden. The ceremony was officiated by Adam Sandler with Swift's brother Austin Swift serving as her man of honor and Kelsey's brother, Jason is best man. Madison Square Garden by Adam Sandler. Yeah. I mean, okay. Wait, conspiracy theory. Conspiracy theory, guys.

Did they convert to Judaism? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Brian got it right away. Because he's, he's Jewish, man. He's Jewish.

Yeah. But it's very interesting to me because he's, if he is an ordained minister or whatever you would want to call it in the Jewish faith, wouldn't it be for his faith, not for the Christian faith? I'm serious. I don't know. I'm going to make me look this up now. He took the vaccine.

He took the vaccine. He wanted the shekels. Just saying, guys. Yes, Matt VK got it. Man of Honor. That's pretty gay. Yeah, Taylor's brother was for Man of Honor. That is so gay. It's so funny.

It's because she has no female friends. He is being married by Adam Sandler. Right? It's because she has no. female friends though nobody likes her I don't want to be your made of honor I'll be your maid of honor but how much are you paying me for my dress yep how much are you paying for this

paying for that um ashes I'm basing my picks on whether or not Taylor Swift is going to be there yes that's exactly what I'm basing them on oh yeah that's a good way to base it man yeah that's that's all I base it on I feel like Brian is a week off Battle of Sexes will be two Mondays from now

Bull shit, it's next Monday. Technically, a Jewish person can legally and traditionally officiate a non-Jewish wedding as long as they receive proper authorization from the local government. So I'm sure there's some cultural like, like, nah. Wait, wait, does that mean Mom Dani had to sign off on it? It's the local government in New York. They had a kami, a commie, a commie Muslim sign off on a Jewish guy marrying to, two atheists

I'm assuming they're atheists that's a legend this world man what a shit show all right what do we got next um shenanigans let's go it all right I don't know why but this just made me laugh

my ass off this is like actually you know what let's let's let's let's let's hit our final sponsors for the show before we get into all that stuff all right guys creatine has been a staple in sports nutrition and athletic fitness for decades. For good reason, it helps our cells create ATP, their primary source of energy, but creatine is not just for workouts. Research has recent research, has found creatine

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there we go we also stole the Stinger concept from the ladies I guess since they stole our shenanigans and then let's go ahead and talk about some soft disclosure

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Also, you can sign up for the news brief there. Or not to their news brief. They go send you all the discounts and promo codes and updates and all that cool stuff. Newsletter, that's what it's called. Newsletter. And, yeah, I'm thrown off because I just, for the first time I realized in that video that when Randy walks into the store, John gives him the. gayest look you could ever imagine.

Like the full-blown, like, gayest look. Why does that throw you off? I don't know. What is going on in there? No, I'm looking at it. I'm like, holy shit. This is supposed to be like a rugged, manly commercial. And John just gives him like this totally gay look.

Hey, man. I don't know how many got started over. Because you got to start out. We got to see that part. Just play the... These are the hands that built America. Hands that hammered, hands that welded, hands that carried the weight of a nation. Soft disclosure all was here for the hands.

Damn. I told you. He was looking at him like a pork shop, bro. I told you, man. He was looking at him like Jed York was looking at that prostitute. I tell you, like, I want some of Randy's candy. That's what was going on right there, man. Oh, man.

And I had to play the whole thing because when you, when you have it on the soundboard on the side, you can't go to certain parts. But yeah, somebody needs to just clip. I'm going to download the video and just clip out that one little part right there. And that will live in total infinity. Ash,

as says, it's a look of admiration for the hands that built me and you. That wouldn't know that. No, no, no. That's that's that's definitely not that yeah guys get yourself a boss that looks at you like the way John looks at Randy don't do that John was looking at Randy the same way I'm looking at a freaking sirloin steak that that's what was going on right there like I don't tear that shit up all right all right so I have no idea why this this just I can't I can't with this

video like this just for some reason makes me laugh my freaking ass off run in the store and get an avocado please and if they have bananas get six all right get an avocado and if they have bananas get six yep got it oh something cut out no something cut out on his i'm not even touching my mouse uh guys i'm assuming oh there he is my stupid dog just ran under the thing and ripped the mouse out and it closed out this freaking cash. Because somebody is in the other room and has the door closed and can't do whatever. All right. So let's try this again.

Run in this door and get an avocado, please. And if they have bananas, get six. All right, get an avocado. And if they have bananas, get six. Yep. Got it. Thanks. Thank you.

Thanks. Big you. Yeah, they had bananas. I mean, he's not wrong. She said if they have bananas, get sick. All right. Specify. You got to use all your words, lady.

He's not wrong. I mean, in that situation, I would have known, but I can probably come up with situations where my wife will tell me to do something. And she doesn't clarify like that. Listen, listen, those kind of instructions will put a man in the produce section for 15 minutes contemplating life. Yeah. Like, what am I going to do here? I think there's some men that literally go and start new families strictly because of that. They go to the grocery store.

They have a list. They're like, I can't do this, bro. I got to go find a new family. I'm moving to a new city. That's it. New life. The easy out there is just, oh, fuck, I'm going to buy six of each. Yeah.

That's, yeah. You're still going to get yelled at, though, for not following directions. My thing is when I get a list, if she says the list, right? in my head, it is literally written down the same way you wrote it. So she said, get one avocado. If there are bananas, get six. All right. So get six.

No, no, no, not. You know how I would have got screwed on that one? If they have bananas, yeah. The way I would have gotten screwed because if you, if you would have said get six bananas, I would have gone like six bunches. Who talks about individual bananas? You know what I mean?

that. I would have been like she's making like a pie or a cake or something, but fuck it, she wants six. I feel like the next time my wife does something like that, like she tells me to do something, I'm going to. And it's because I've had situations like that happen where I get back and she's like, what the fuck did you do? And I'm like, exactly what you told me to do.

And they're like, no, that's not what I meant. I'm like, I don't care what you meant. I did exactly what you told me to do. So we'll see. We'll see. I think it'll happen. and what you got down there. Who's that Alpha?

That's Alpha boy. All right. Oh, God. I saw it. I hope. I hope J.B. still in chat. He's a Texas fan now.

Is this black? Obviously, anyone who says otherwise is stupid. Is it because he is our father and still hasn't come back yet? I just dying on your own tonight. Was Jesus? Hey. Hey, hey, old savage. Hey, homie, homie may not be right about the, the skin color of Jesus, but he's not the one going to hell.

I'll take that. Damn, girl. Me and Cam, me and Cam played one like that. You weren't here for the show, but it was, it was like the cartoon one. And the woman's like, God must be black. And she's like, he's like, why do you think God's black? And she's like, because we call him our father and nobody's seen them. That was so good.

this one's kind of in line with the banana conversation i think okay so you're here to oh geez letter word that starts with gas gas is a three-letter word what is it's you're confusing me now well that's silly since you're the one who ask the question what's a three-letter word that starts with gas well I just think that gas is the word you're looking for because it's three letters. So gas starts gas? Yes. I, what, your, gas is three letters.

You said what's a three letter or the source of gas? Gas is the word that you're looking for. No. No. It starts with gas. It starts with gas, but it's still only three letters. Gasolines more than three letters. That starts with gas.

What, honey, what common sense? What starts with gas? I don't know. Gas. What's a three-letter car? Car. But it doesn't start just with gas. I mean, it could be diesel.

Could be diesel. Could be some day electric car. Could be ethanol. It could be electric. Yeah. But it's pretty funny, though. She was so hung up. She was just like,

So I played the Golden Eye nostalgia from last week, and I saw this one. This was just, this was on par with Golden Eye for me. Double kill. You kill frenzy. Trip to kill. Sharp shooter. Oh, kill. Kill.

Tacking. Typhi. Kill Trosity. Game of lead. Kill Jaro. Running Ryan kill test will be kill pocket a millionaire to be a bullet No, no that was dubbed over it only goes up to like triple kill okay he dubbed all of that over that was badass bro i like kill you there and then at the last one be the bullet

I remember that map. I remember everything about that game, bro. That was like, man, those were some of the best nights, man. Me and the boys, hooking up all of our TVs going over to one guy's house. We all bring our, we all bring our Xboxes.

We all go to one person's house. And we've got like cables running from room to room. And we've all got like a 16 person game going. Man, fucking 10 pizzas and maybe a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels. maybe i was gonna say all kinds of soda but if you are if you're at that age then yeah jack daniels no bro when i was at that age the soda age it was golden eye and there was no land connection golden eye was cool because you had four person split screen but unless you're playing on a big enough tv you couldn't see shit yeah so i hated that shit you're like i think that's a person

it's like a little speck of dust nope that's just a piece of dust on the screen don't look at my side of the screen bro. Look at my screen. You're looking at my screen. Screen lookers, man. Screen lookers, bro. They were worse than racists. Screen lookers are way worse than racist.

Because you were on the same TV. Don't be looking at my screen, bro. You would start fistfights over that. Yes. You would get in a fist fight over, over screen lookers. Kids these days don't know what that is, bro. They don't know what that is.

Screen peeking. That's what we call. It's screen peeking. We were screened lookers. And you said looker with the harder. Looker. I'm still stuck on Jeb York. That's why.

It took me, I'm not going to lie. It took me in a minute to get this. Say no to racism. Deport gays and retards. It says deport gay retards. Oh, deport gay. Yeah, it's different than gays and retards. All right.

What am I missing? Is there something? else on this? Don't say, don't say nothing, Cam. Go already said it. Make the screen big. Oh, I can see it now. My hand, I can see that. I already, I already said it. But the guy looks, is the guy black? No. What guy? He's just really dark. No, that's a guy. The guy wearing the shirt, it's a white guy. Yeah. That's a white dude, bros. Say no racism. And I was, I was, I was, can't see. But that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, his hand. Yes, that is not a human hand. I was I was stuck on the deport gay retards for so long.

I was like, I was like, you just fighting everybody. I was like, why? And then when I saw it, I was like, oh, but like, listen, bro, you're playing with death. You're playing with death in that scenario, too. That's like the, that's the kill Tony joke. Remember the kill Tony joke about black guys? If you, you don't want us using the N-word stop making the best part of the song and then was it go on it goes into call a black guy the N-word call a gay guy a fag and call a retard a retard or give him a banana that's what it was if you give if you give the the fag a banana who knows what he's going to do with that he might he might enjoy it if you give the retard a banana you know he'll just be like and then if but if you give the the black guy a banana he'll fight you yeah all

right um i wait this can you go to can you go to mine real quick i can yeah this just remind alpha you missed this last week you're your your one reminded you're this one from last week do you have occasional racist thoughts yes no look at look at the no box you see it you missed it last time that's what that guy was thinking he was like no i'm not racist i say no to racism look at my shirt if we if i ever for some reason have to take a test where they asked me that i'm totally doing that oh i don't see any i don't see any tests like that in my in my immediate future oh that was all right i'm sure we've all seen this one by now but the the the extra credit scene at the end is

is is funny the commentary why can't you get information out of her i don't know she keeps on moaning i'm trying to torture you oh my god why her pants went Will you marry me? She's an infidel. That is her wrong. I don't care. I'm tired of the ghosts. Just look at her facial expression, though.

She's like, oh, this doesn't hurt like it was supposed to. That went from pleasure to pain to pleasure real quick. Well, it's like, it's like you ever like somebody like does something to you and you know that it's supposed to hurt and it really doesn't hurt. And you're like, ow. And they're like, why did you say, ow, that didn't hurt? And you're like, just reaction. That's what she did. She's getting tase and she's like,

Oh, my God. Oh, man. This one right here, this is why you carry. I said what? What's up with you? Why you went up on me like that? No, fuck you.

You literally ran around the corner at me. I'm walking by. You said, what's up? I said, what's up? Back up, dog. Back the fuck up. What's up? I got you.

Give me your hands right now. Show me your fucking hands. I will shoot you so fast, dude. Do not fucking do that shit. I will shoot you. Woo, man, you're lucky. You're lucky. You're running to the right one that day.

You ran into the right one that day. That's what I'm gonna say, bro. Cogged your blessings. Yep. That's all I'm gonna say. Hang on there. Can you go, can you rewind that video to certain parts? Nah, it's third thing.

If you mute it, you can play it and then pause it. Well, well, yeah. just mute it and play it till the end and pause it when it's on his gun. Because, you know, that's pretty interesting. First and foremost, a hell of a draw. As soon as that guy went to his back hip like that, that guy was on point, ready to go. So, which makes me think that he has his hand on his hip as well right now, which, you know, it's kind of like you don't want that guy going to his hip, but you're on your hip. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like, yeah. Double standard right there. kind of.

But wait till it gets the gun here. It looked like an FN 509, but. It's a SIG. Yeah, it is a SIG. Okay. I, that magazine looked really skinny when it zoomed in. And I was like, what's this motherfucker pack in a 22? But no, that's probably a nine.

Or maybe a three, they don't make a 380. What is that, 365? Who is that Mr. SIG? See, see, oh, Oh, wait, wait, pause it. Oh, you went too far. At the very end there, that magazine looks really thin in the bottom of that and that gun. If it's, if it's really thin, it's probably a 45 single stack.

No, no, no, no, not like, not like thin, but like narrow. Oh, you're talking about why? It didn't fill out the grip. Gotcha. I see what you're talking about. That's probably nine then. Yeah, maybe. I don't know if they make three 80s in that, in that model.

But maybe it could be a three. 80 not much smaller but yeah man don't fuck around with that shit don't fuck around with that shit i don't know cam what do you got bro uh i'll pull something up in a second but liberty lion said okay i have to say it but you know i don't mean it l-o-l everybody knows you give black guys watermel yes don't give me a banana give me a watermelon i'm not a fan of bananas i like watermelons if you're gonna if you're gonna make a joke give me something yeah Loan up Liberty Lion's spot Hey, you're running the chat, bro.

Put in the chat. If you put in the chat, it's fair game. No, man. I'm just expecting free watermelon from people, so that's all it is. Damn. You racist, mama. My wife showed me this one, and this might be a little, this might be a little inappropriate, but I don't care.

I said what I said. Them, would you fight a kid if it meant your dog live forever? Depends on the kid. fucking yeah just like my cheek and I'm

fucking care con where's this kid's ass I'm whooping bro I mean just because you fight on

don't mean you gotta hurt him exactly it didn't say it didn't say harm injure it just said

fight the younglings I saw anakin and he murdered the younglings Oh, man. Anakin does.

I know Alpha's not a Star Wars guy there, but that's when Anakin Skywalker turns to the dark side and becomes Darth Vader, and he goes back and kills all the kids at the temple. Except apparently Grogu, who's 50 years old, so is he really a kid? But yeah, kills all the kids, almost all the kids. A couple of them got away. Calcestis got away. Calcestus got away.

Fucked up, Anakin. I got one for you guys at the bottom. Although Calcestis was already a Padawan, so he wasn't. young patalong all right oh hey so so calvin rixon an engineer from texas a and m university has designed a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling bouncing up and down and stops fucking hang him stops nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in after a news conference announcing the invention a large group of men took mr rickson outside and keep the shit out of him hang them tibis to the i'm pretty sure that's not real i did it for the

photo but if that was the case if there was a Calvin Rixon he would immediately get his ass beat to the gulags yeah there's there's certain inventions the world just does not need and that's one of them do not pass go do not collect $200 straight to the gulags exactly man find that man and I would beat the shit out of him how much time we got 10 minutes what 10 minutes yeah all right you guys want you guys want something cool and Do you want something inappropriate? Or do you want something this is like, man, that hit the heartstrings? Inappropriate.

Yeah. Let's get alpha fired today. All right. Like J.B. All right. Bring it up. Oh, this needs a disclaimer. I said cheat day.

Like, we could cheat on our diets. Like, we could have McDonald's once a week. Not you cheating on me with another girl. All I heard you say was cheat day. why would I don't understand why you would I'm sorry I just wanted to come in and say I'm sorry I It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's fine. You were talking about a diet I'm gonna head out I said cheat. I mean clearly Clearly fake. Why in the world would you have the other woman there be a fight?

There'd be a fight in that mother letter bro. And it'd be his blood too. You could hold that woman back up? Can we see what the other piece looked like if No gonna make comparisons here. Like they gave us like an arm. Arm in a voice. That's the fucked up. You were talking about a diet? I'm talking about like a cheeseburger.

Hey, some french fries. There's a difference between if there's six, if there's six or if they have six bananas. Yeah, they specify. Yeah. What type of cheat day is it? Nice, nice full circle, Cam. All ties in. I thought that's what I honestly thought that's what.

That's why you did it. Because when I saw Cheat Day, I was like, oh, this is clever. Yeah. How did you not play that right after that video? You could have, you could have, I still think that one was a little bit funnier there. But I mean, you got to be a new breed of stupid not to get clarification on that one. You're talking about like you get home. Like I, if my wife told me that avocado thing, I'd buy the six avocados just to do that. And then I'd be like, here's your bananas. That dude clearly doesn't have any guy friends. Because if he had guy friends, first thing you would have done is got on his phone's like, bro, bro, my wife said I could have a cheat day, bro, I'm going to the club. They would have been like, bro. That's not what you mean.

Stupid trap. Yeah. Yeah. Go have a pizza, dumbass. That's what he's talking about. Or or or or your friends are like, yeah, go do it, man. Let's. If they don't like her. If they don't like her. If they don't like her. No, no. They don't like her. I was, I was with Cancant. If you have good friends, they'll tell you that what she means. If you have great friends, they're going to fuck you over.

And they're going to be like, yeah, bro. Oh, you got the best wife, man. Oh, she's the greatest. I knew she was. Oh, you had a cheat day too. I was a lot to have a cheat day. My last cheat day was two years ago, though. But that's good, man.

Go out and enjoy it. Congratulations. It's that that friend gets a thought in his head where he's about to tell him, like, that's not what you mean, and the little devil. And he starts thinking about all the times, homie couldn't come out, couldn't go to the football games, couldn't go to the fantasy draft.

And then the little devil's just, he's like, yo, bro, as a matter of fact, get three. Because you don't know when the next check days come, bro. Get three.

Live it up. Live it up, bro. Live it up. Oh, man. I would just, I'd be thinking of that one nut tap they gave me when I was like, when I actually got mad,

I was for that one time. When you hit that left testicle, and I almost threw up. Oh, that's the worst. So check this out. I am totally going to try this. And I am a connoisseur of old fashions. I like old fashions.

And I got to try this. What's on the spoon? It's brown, like big granulated brown sugar. Oh, God. I'm so thirsty right now. Yeah. You know, I've never had one. You've never had an old fashion.

That's a lie. No, no, never had an old fashion. Vegas. First time I see you in Vegas. buy anyone. Dude, dude, dude. When we go, when we go to Vegas, uh, there's this, uh, there's an old fashion bar. I'll let John know too because he'd probably want to go to. It's in, um, I think it's I mean, the bar is not very high to impress me because jacking and coke, bro, like that. No, no, no, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. So there's a bar. I can't remember

that it. It might have been like speak easies or something like that. Whatever. It was in. Christine, it will know the hotel because it was in the one we stayed at last time. I think it was the Conrad, I believe. But, We'll go there and we'll go to this. It's a bar. It's all themed out like a speakeasy. And it's all like like gourmet like old fashions. Like you get like a PBJ old fashion like a smores campfire old fashion.

Fantastic fucking. Was that the one that you just walked to the corner of the street and it was right caddy corner? No, no. It was in a hotel. It was in a hotel. So it wasn't Mandalay Bay. I think it was at the Conrad. The Conrad was the big.

black silver like black windows it's a really cool hotel but I'll take you there man so it's not near where we're at um it's it's on the same side yeah it's on the same side of the strip it's so there's like the mandalay bay side and then there's like the golden corral and or not golden corral the um fuck is the name of it circus circus no circus circus circus is in the middle um

fuck I can't think of it it has the same lower like a golden like golden carol i can't think of it the golden so what what golden nugget what describe the flavor as best you can for me and i get it there's only so much you can do with words so i mean it tastes like well it depends like if you get just a straight up old fashion it's got you know it's bitters uh cane sugar or simple syrup and um and uh an orange uh zest like the skin of an orange to zest it up and uh i mean it's it's an art there's an art to make an old christie makes a good fashions. I make them better. He won't admit that.

I make them better. She makes them probably better. She probably does. But like when you do that, like you're pouring the whiskey over like, like, what do they call that? Is that bruleade? What do they call that when they, it's just caramelized because I know that when you, when you heat up sugar, it turns into caramel. So it's kind of like a cream brule. You're supposed to heat the sugar and then you crack it.

Right. So I don't know. Judge it might know. Yeah. Jack, you'll probably be in the chat. Anyways, I'll take you get you good old-fashioned, man. And, and dude, if you like, if you like a whiskey drink, you'll be hooked. It's the only way to drink whiskey. Yeah, I've never, I've never had an old fashion and I've never had a dirty martini. I hate martinis.

I hate vodka. So I've never had one. Yeah. I hate a double seven drink, man. My dad's a answer on the alphas. Ash has Christel answer on alphas. To what? Answer what?

Probably the, the, the, the, the, the, the caramelization thing. no i mean that's anybody can know that it's probably going to answer something about the bar that's where the bar is oh i got you was double seven shaken not stirred or stirred not shaken shaken not stirred shaking not stirred yeah like that's a mandala effect but okay no it's not leave that shit out of here i no i no i grew up i grew up on the second wave of james bar or maybe it was a third wave all right but i got one more more. I got one more to wet your appetites here. Okay. Is this a banana joke?

No. I'm kidding. That actually looked pretty damn tasty, dude. Yeah. The only downside? Get the fuck out here with Jack Daniels. Yeah. I'm so glad you said that. My first thing was going to be, why don't they use a better whiskey? Use a better whiskey than Jack fucking Daniels. You can't say that about Jack. Jack Daniels is for high school kids that have a little bit of money. It's for killers in the Marine Corps.

I mean, no, that's Jameson. That's white boy. That's crazy. That's crazy rock white boys. Marine Corps. Marine Corps Jack Daniels. No, bro. We were straight Jameson in our unit, man.

Like I drank so much, man. I drink so much Jamo in the Marine Corps. Jack Daniels, bro. and ever clear which i'll never do again for the rest of my life it's because you're faggedy west coast marines dude i'll never do that ever again oh ever clear sinatra drinking jack daniels have you ever have you ever drank like good whiskey alpha like no no i'm serious like jack daniels is good whiskey no jack daniels is not good whiskey have you ever got anything above the second shelf yeah so there's this we did the ship on a cruise and it was

the the Johnny Walker. Yes. You know, the different color labels. Well, this was the one on the, in the ship that was behind glass. It was in a, it was in a coffin.

It was in coffin. It might have been, I don't know, blue or whatever. It was, it's the highest label. But literally, the bottle was in a coffin.

And it came with like a luggage bag and all this crazy shit. Like it was, and we all looked at and we're like, damn, that's expensive. So now let's fast forward into like the second day of the cruise, right? Yeah, it was,

it was a bag. It was a bachelor cruise, right? We're in the second day of the cruise and my, my buddy, I'll use his first name, Danny. He's like, bro, let's go to the room. He's holding the coffin with the whiskey, dude. So we're like, let's go. So we go to the room and we start, you know, drinking some of this stuff. Everybody goes out.

The next day, the next morning, right? Because we wake up and you go get the Bloody Mary's to prepare for the next day. So we're there and he's like, hey, yo, when you guys left your Johnny Walker in the room? And we're like, that's yours, bro. That's a bad one, bro. Bad night. We're like, that's yours. He's like, no, it's not.

I know, dude, like, you bought that shit. His heart drop. Dude, he was like, my wife's going to kill me. Like my wife. Oh, but on a, on a. But then, but then we were so lit, dude. I remember drinking it and I liked it, but that's about it. So, yeah, Johnny Walker Blue is pretty damn good.

See if you can find the picture of the one where Johnny Walker Blue in like the special edition coffin. I don't know if that's it. No, it looked like the, like Count Dracula's coffin, bro. But I was lit too. So maybe it was. I'm getting deja vu. Alfa you've definitely told this story before not not on this show like with me but I remember watching it like when I wasn't on bad then like that alpha now it had like the like the little brown

ruffles in the inside and stuff like that it was fan no it was velvet in the inside no it was velvet in the coffin and it had the little fluffy stuff around the glass case yeah the inside the coffin was valve on this one I don't I don't I remember it looking maybe it does look maybe it was that I mean, that's how Johnny Walker comes. Yeah. I have a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. It might have just special for this. This was, it looked like Count Dracula's coughing because it went like this and then it went like this.

And then it had velvet in it. No. I definitely remember a coffin. It could be specific for the ship. Mike Iron, real quick, Mike Iron says it was Jack Engels Cut. I don't know if they were talking about what our stuff, what we're talking about. That's not as expensive, though. Yeah.

Jack Daniels Angels Cut. So you know what Angels Cut is? No. Angels Cut is the, it's the little bit, it's the little bit of whiskey that is left in the barrel. I'm trying to remember how that goes.

I can't think of it now. I didn't know that was a thing. The Angels cut, the Angels share. Yeah, I'm not seeing. anything on that either. Now, I remember for a fact, it was Johnny Walker, because they were talking about the label and I mean, Johnny Walker Blue is one of the more expensive, but until you get into the crazy stuff, but like mainstream. Before we go, I have one more kind of a tribute to your Star Wars

in a way. Granted, this is from someone who didn't watch it, but it's still cool. It says, point of view, you finally get comfortable. Something funny. Sure. Where's the remote? I don't know. Oh, oh, The false, Justin. Can we watch something funny? That's great. Oh, man.

Okay, so I had to look at it up. So the angel shares the whiskey that evaporates. The devil's cut is the whiskey that's absorbed into the barrels. So there we go. Also, when I take you to the old-fashioned bar, Alpha, if you order your old fashion with, because you have to choose the whiskey that you want in there, if you order it with Jack Daniels,

I will punch you in the face. No, you tell me how to order it and I'll order it that way. You will get laughed out of the bar, most likely, most likely. I give you two shit's what people, what people think. I'm the ones going to my movie.

Dude, I will say this, man. Like, when I was in, when I was in Atlanta covering the Curling v. Raffinsberger trial, I went to the bar at the hotel that we were staying at. And I ordered a they did they were out of bourbon. So I got a an old fashion with rye whiskey.

And I can't remember which which riot was. But it was really good. Like I was, I was impressed. And I'll be, I'll be curious because like I said, I know people like like makers mark and I've tried that and that tastes like shit to me.

I don't, I don't like that. There's a really good whiskey that's inexpensive from out in Colorado called Tin Cup. I love that whiskey. And then there's another one called Legion, which is a bourbon that's made by the, it was a Japanese distiller and an American distiller,

Kentucky Distiller. And they got together and they crossed their processes and came up with this whiskey called Legion. That's really good. And as far as like affordable stuff, I mean, you could get into like crazy whiskeys as well. But anyways.

All right. Well, that's all we've got. I don't think, I didn't see any rants come in. did we have a rant? I didn't see any. Oh, yeah, we do. G. Fontes gave us a few.

Thanks, G. Uh-oh. He's coming for Cam. No, last season 3 and O and was six and two before injury stacked up, particularly at wide receiver, had only a couple weeks with as many as two of the starting wide receivers on field from the prior year's playoff. Oh, Tampa fans get offended when you forget which season they sucked in the beginning, like always.

So last season, you guys started out pretty good. Congratulations, G. Fantes. Hey, you got a more recent Super Bowl than the Falcons. If you're in Tampa, I think we're going to the Packers game in Tampa. So, yeah. To be fair, some of Tampa's players either just didn't have it anymore or gave up early, not really playing a solid game.

The rest of the season after week nine's by, it showed on the scoreboard. Well, your old-ass players that don't have it anymore are now wearing 49ers uniforms. So, and Alpha drafted them in the second round or first round. When did Mike Evans? I got Mike Evans. No, I went running back through the first couple rounds. I got Mike Evans here, I'll tell you right now. Buffalo Trace is a fantastic whiskey, R. Cambron says.

I got Mike Evans in the sixth round. That late? Yep. Six pick in the six round. That's a good pickup. Buffalo Trace is my go-to when I'm at a bar because that's like a common whiskey, but it's so good. yeah all right well thank you guys all so much for for tuning in uh stay tuned for uh alphas make sandwiches coming up here next and uh we will we'll see you guys later as soon as i can get the

right outro video set up here because oh we don't have it on this one son of a bitch all right here we go see you guys later later you all thank you so much for joining us and don't forget to hit the thumbs up on this video and a special thank you to all of our advertising partners please remember to shift your dollars to support those businesses that support badlands media