Bandsplain - 24 Question Party People: Alicia Bognanno of Bully

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Alicia Bognanno of Bully joins the show this week from her home base of Nashville Tennessee to discuss a childhood spent in motion, Matchbox 20 as a musical onramp, and why Sarah McLachlan’s ASPCA ad is a trap, even though crying a lot is a good thing. Oh, and why 'Tubthumping' by Chumbawamba is the perfect funeral song. All of this and more, on another perfect episode of '24 Question Party People'. Host: Yasi SalekGuest: Alicia BognannoProducer: Jesse Miller-GordonAssociate Producer: Chris SuttonAdditional Production Supervision: Justin SaylesTheme song: Hether Fortune Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

An Instagram post gets an unexpected boost. A TikTok catches in the algorithm. Sometimes that's all it takes to launch someone into internet fame. But then what? This Blue Up is a new podcast documentary that reveals how social media stardom is made. It's a different kind of fame. That's not always as glamorous as it looks. From Spotify and the Ringer Podcast Network, I'm Alyssa Boresnack.

You can listen to This Blue Up on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Party people 4 question party people Hello and welcome to 24 question party people I am your host Yossi Salak This is a show where I invite an interesting person on for a little talk

I ask the same 23 questions every time More or less plus one wild card The guess is allowed to skip one question Sometimes the questions change a little Be free babe Free your mind It's really fucking wild To me you guys that almost

always whatever comes up thematically in both my research for Bansplain as well as the conversation I end up having for this show in that time frame both always seem to tie back to like some knots I'm working out in my own psyche. Do you know what I mean? I guess honestly it's not that weird given that it is my beautiful mind that is the prism through which all this stuff

is being refracted right into the Google Doc mostly, but other places too. But yeah, I don't know. It still strikes me because, like, you know, I'll be fucking, this is an old example, but I'll be like balls deep in Lemonheads research. And I'm having like all these fucking profound realizations about my relationship to ambition and, you know, success and goal-orienting. orientation or whatever. I don't want to get too hard on the sleeve in podcast form. You know what I mean?

Like I'm not feeling earnest goes to camp today per se. But I'll just say, like, I feel like if you're able to dig down and see it, it actually is kind of fucking mind-blowing how much of the shit that you internalized about yourself and the world as like a child and maybe like a teenager, pre-teen, has become like the fucking fascist dictator of. your brain, just like ruling that bitch with an iron fist, running the motherfucking show. This is not a democracy. No one else gets to vote. Not reason. Not logic. Not reality. It's only the memory of the girls who are mean to you in the sixth grade and called you camel jockey

and other things that I'm not allowed to say here on this program that are in charge. For example, a vague example. I know this sounds like kind of fatalistic, but I'm not done yet. It's not. Because there are actually ways to sort of get under the hood of this stuff, right? To like overthrow the fucking dictator or at least put, you know, make a little problem for their regime. And it's through the gorgeous trifecta of meditation, journaling, and therapy. And I know right now you're like, shut up, bitch. But yeah, sorry, I hate to fucking say it. That shit works.

Actually, it works. It works to meditate. It works to fucking put a pen to paper and pour out your fucking thoughts. It works to go to therapy if you can afford it. It works to walk outside in nature and get away from your fucking screen. It works to get fresh air. It works to exercise. All this shit that they tell you that works where you're like, shut up, bitch.

Sorry, it works. Anyway, the more you can do that stuff and the more you can make your conscious mind aware of the fuck shit that your subconscious has been up to all these years, the more you can start to notice that, yeah, maybe how you react to things sometimes. like maybe you're like cunty, freaked out, crying reactions to things that are maybe not that big of a deal or maybe like don't involve you having a little more good faith for the other person are really less about your actual feelings about the situation and more about the way that you felt when you were 11 and you felt like you were a total fucking freak and you would never be good enough and life was just going to be horrible the rest of your life. Again, just as another vague example. Anyway, it felt really good and heartening to talk to someone, an artist who I admire so

fucking much, Alicia Boniano of Boney, who made one of my favorite albums of the year, honestly maybe of life, lucky for you. And to learn that she also deals with these middle school memory dictators and just like kind of like working that out in conversation and all the other stuff we talked about. She's just so fucking cool. So I hope you enjoy our talk. Here it is. 24-war one You guys, warm welcome to the program Alicia Boniano of bully

one of my favorite musical artists of all time Thank you I'm so honored to have you here My favorite podcaster of all time This is really a mutual A mutual favorite situation Which is as good as it gets I think

Yeah, I would agree Love admiration, respect I just need to point out that your album lucky for you, which came out earlier this year. Sorry to be controversial, but it's a perfect album. Thank you. That's perfect start to finish. Yeah.

Not a skip on there. Makes me feel emotions. Good, good, good. I'm glad. I just wanted to put it out there if you guys haven't listened. You're fucking up your whole life and you need to actually stop this podcast right now and go listen to it and then come back so that you'll understand what kind of respect you need to put on Alicia's name. Yes, please. Alicia, how are you doing today? Are you in Nashville?

I see that you're recording live from some sort of murder dungeon. Yes, this is my murder dungeon that my tour manager was sleeping in the other week. But I just got back from London, not yesterday, but the day before. And now I leave again tomorrow. So I am briefly in Nashville. You're in the hectic life of a rock star. I am. I'm rocking.

I'm rolling. Did you have a good time across the pond? Yeah, I did. It was good. It was a good, like, comeback tour because I tried to do it in May, and then I went over there, and I immediately had to come home, so this time I did it. And I was like, I don't know.

I mean, I feel like it's probably sounded weird because it was solo. But people said that they liked it. I don't really know. To me, it was kind of weird, but I feel like it was fun. I mean, everybody was stoked either way, but I would have loved to go there with a full band. But maybe next time.

You're not dead yet, Ben. No, I'm not dead yet. Did you eat anything cool while you were there? I'm a big fan of the chips of the UK, not the chips, the crisps in their parlons. Oh, oh, not the chips in mayo. They're French fries and mayo. I do love those, too. Those are also very delicious.

But they have just really good crisp flavors. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This was actually the best food I feel like I've had in London. Usually it really improved. Yeah. I mean, they have. Like, usually I feel like I'm just like passing through and it's whatever I get to eat is really disgusting. But this time, it was above and beyond.

Well done. Well done, brubs. All right. Shall we just jump right into it? Yeah, let's do it. 24 questions. Yeah. Okay.

Number one, Alicia. What is your sign? I am a Pisces. Right. That's exactly right. You are the most. Pisces of Pice. I really, when you told me that, I was like, well, that's obviously you're a Pice's. Do you feel that way about yourself? Oh, yeah, for sure. We were in the van, like, a few months ago,

and my tour manager and guitar player were reading this thing that basically was calling every horoscope. Like, it was basically like, if you're this, you do this. And they were kind of like, they were all like, uh, that one applies, that doesn't. And every Pice's one was like, we were just, like, jaws dropped. It was like, like, My phone was dead at that moment. It was like, Pisces is leaving with no phone charge. Just like the most specific things that related way too much that they obviously see all day every day. But yeah, I'm like so overly sensitive and emotional.

For those that don't know, Pisces is a water sign. Very emotional, very sensitive, witchy, mystical, romantic. I didn't know witchy. Yeah, Pisces is like, isn't Pisces ruled by? Neptune, let me just like double check. I've gotten like uncomfortably deep into astrology in the last year or two, which is like a clear indication that I need to be committed into an institution. It's like obviously a cry for hell by checking 12 horoscopes a day. I'm like charting the fucking stars to just like get out of my own mind. Yeah. So Pisces is ruled by Neptune. Neptune is like

the mystical planet of like stuff like that. Like it's the ethereal like. governs creativity, governs dreams, imagination. So yeah, Pisces are very wichy. Also, Kurt Cobain Corbib. Oh, yeah, for sure. Natural artists, natural sensitive artists. I do feel like I relate somewhat because I'm an aneogram 4, which is the Pisces of the Eniogram.

Do you know your Eniogram? No, I am so bad with this. I bet you would be afford to. Tell me, tell me. I don't know. Enigram is just like a different. It's, you take a test. It's not based on like birth charting.

I think it's kind of like the Myers-Briggs, where you take sort of like a quiz of different answers and stuff, and then it tells you your type. But I find it to be extremely spot on. And four is like the tortured romantic, you know, like the tortured artist. And I was like, cool, cool, awesome, very cool. I love it for me. So can I be the normal one? No, just this one. The one that is Les Mis and needs to be committed. Curricobain was also, I think, in Neagram 4. So, all right, Alicia, what did you eat today? Today I had an egg and cheese biscuit sandwich. She's in Nashville, babe.

She is back home and she is going to have a fucking egg and cheese biscuit sandwich. Yeah. Did you make it? No, no, I can't cook. I like, I tried to make macaroni and cheese a few weeks ago and it was like soft and hard at the same time. Sorry, from the box? Yeah, from the box. From the box.

It has extremely explicit instructions. on the side. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I don't know what's going wrong. I mean, I think I'm the common denominator, but I'm only home for two days, so it's not long enough to get groceries, and that's how it's basically been for four months. So there's a coffee shop down the street, and I walked there to get it just to like put something in my body and move forward with my day. That's your approach to eating. Interesting. I have a very different approach to eating. What is your approach? My whole life revolves around at. I'm in a torres. So I'm already like, I already know what I'm going to have for dinner tomorrow. And like if you and I were going to go, yeah, for sure.

And if you and I were going to go to dinner at a restaurant tonight, I would have already looked at the menu and decided what I was going to order. I do that all the time. Even places I've been a thousand times. Like if I'm going to Cheesecake Factory, I'm still looking at the menu the day of to make some decisions. Yeah. Yeah. But does it change? Like if you wait until, if you know what you're going to do tomorrow, do you ever wake up tomorrow and you're like, this doesn't sound good to me or you're Yeah, sometimes. I go with my whims for sure. But like I like to plan because the worst for me is to not be able to have exactly what I want. So that it's not, I don't like it. I feel very unsatisfied. I get testy and angry. So yeah, it's not exciting. I mean, it's like probably salmon because I eat salmon like six times a week like a fucking bear. But yeah, it's neither. That's good. Yeah. I've been vegetarian for like 10 years. So I'm like, kind of used to not getting what I want because I feel like on tour it's like we'll sit down somewhere and like fucking so oh wait can I swear no is that a problem yeah bitch can you swear

okay yeah yeah yeah absolutely fucking can no I was gonna say like South Dakota or something and it's like the only vegetarian option is like an ice that was the swear it was South Dakota that was the bad word that was the bad word South Dakota I dropped the F bomb before I did my favorite thing to do is bleep myself out so I'll be like what the happened you're that's because you're so used to being on terrestrial radio there's no rules that this is the wild west

over here yes okay good I don't believe in vegetarianism but we'll discuss that later I don't think a lot of people do like especially people who love food they're just like and who love I love meat and protein but again I'm not here to I'm not here to judge your lifestyle

Number three, Alicia, did you listen to music today? And if so, what was it? I didn't. Okay. I just want to point out that it is 1.16 p.m. in Nashville. You've just been sitting in silence in that murder room the whole day? No. What did you do on your walk to the coffee shop?

Oh, well, I went with my friend, Angelina. Okay, so you guys had a little chit-chat. Yeah, but I did listen to music yesterday. and in London I was putting on, I don't know if I should be saying this publicly, but I'm already too far in, so I'm just going to go ahead. But I was just putting on Spotify French music

because I was like, I'm not in France, but I feel like I'm not that far. And so I was just- You typed into the search bar French music? That's always what I do on Spotify. I'll be like French music or I'll be like relaxing vibes or something. And so, yeah, I mean, I'm not proud to admit it,

but it works. Oh, I love it. First of all, on this show, we are cringe, but we are free. We are radically self-accepted and honest. And who cares? That's cool as hell. You were like, you know what I feel like? I'm feeling a little Amelie moment.

Yeah, I'm a pretty little bonge into, I wonder what happened if I put bonge into the search. Yes, a lot of if I'm going to give that a go. Well, I hope it was satisfying for you. So you just wake up in the morning and just raw dog life, like not a sound in the sky? I mean, just you and your thoughts. It just, no, I mean, I've been basically gone for six months now. I've had like 10 days of home at max. So like I guess, but I have this little noise machine type thingy that makes like comforting noises.

But I'm a podcast. Like I'm a podcast person. Like I want to, yeah, like it's difficult for me to figure out what music I'm going to listen to, but it's easy for me to put on a podcast. I feel like you and I are like very different. Maybe because our jobs are the opposite. So like because my job is literally talking all the time, I absolutely most of the time do not want to hear someone else fucking talking. So I put on music except for Andy Hubes, my king, Dr. Andrew Huberman, who is my best friend that he doesn't know about it. I listen to him on my long walks.

But other than that, it's music all the time. Yeah. I feel like it makes sense for both of us to be opposite in that. Because I can't really put music on without thinking about it. Yeah, you're like, what is this chord progression? Is that an arpeggio? These are the words that I know about music. I don't know if they apply.

I'm just throwing them out there. I have like zero music theory, but I will be like, yeah, I just over it. Like I can't have, I can't ever have like lyrics going on while I'm doing something because I'll just like tune into every word. And I'll be like, interesting to rhyme that with that. And kind of just like judge judying everything. And I don't like that about myself. Sure.

I can't work with lyrics on either because I get too distracted by what they're saying. Yeah. So perhaps French music is the move for me. What podcasts are you fucking with recently? obviously aside from Bansplanned on 24 question party people, which are your two favorite podcasts. Literally Bansplaine every day. I'm not joking. I love Bansplaine. And it's funny because Bethany tried to get me into it so long. She's like, you got to listen to my Sheryl Crow episode and blah, blah, blah, but it was like, you know, it's like four hours or something. So I was

like scared to dive in. And then I started with the replacements. And then I was like hooked. I'm listening to the Smith's one now, part one. I'm on part one. Hell yeah. Shout out Bethany, Cozantino for that you guys that don't know. That's our mutual friend who also scored the band playing theme song and has been a guest on the show twice. The Smith episode is great. Nomi Frye, wonderful guest. I mean, am I allowed to say my own podcast is great? I think so.

Those two I'm quite proud of. It's not like I like every episode, some episodes, and I won't name names. I'm like, could have done better. Could have brought my A game a little better on that one. I fucking sucked on that one. This shit's whack. I hope no one listens to it. No, no.

That's not true if anybody's hearing. Listen, not everything can, you can't knock it out of the park every time. Not a perfect person. I feel like it's not you though. Like if it's like one that you probably don't like, it's probably because like maybe the storyline wasn't. Maybe there wasn't enough spice. It's not juicy enough.

Yeah, we like T NGoss on that program. Anything else that isn't me that you like to listen to? Yeah, I've been listening to this podcast that I don't know how to pronounce the title of it. Hold on. Wait, can I show you? Can I look it up? Yeah, yeah. We'll work it out together. I pronounce things wrong all. the time, like on record all the time. And people will write me and I'll be like, okay. And now what? No, I'm so, I'm like dyslexic. So words, it's like everything is just running around in different.

Okay, so A-N-T, someone is going to like hear this and just judge the shit out of me. I don't care people. It's fine. A-N-T-H-R-O-P-O-C-E-N-E. Anthropocene. Yes. The human epoch. It's an unofficial. unit of geologic time. Okay, okay. It's called that reviewed. That's what it's called. And then...

Is that just the history of human civilization? He just picks things to review and it'll be like orbital sunrise or like Kentucky bluegrass or like pennies in America and how much we spend on making them even though we don't use them at all. They're like uses to us. Just like little random facts. And then I mean, obviously like this American life or like Hollywood Handbook. I never listened to that, but I know people love it. Oh, heavyweight.

Heavyweight's one of my favorite podcasts. I love heavyweight. What they do on that show is incredible. Yeah. All right. Number four, Alicia, what is the first song that made a meaningful impact on you as a child? I'm inclined to say, in the arms of an angel by Sarah McLaughlin. Because of the commercials about if you don't adopt this dog, you're a fucking monster, those ones?

Yeah, I just have a little bit of vivid. memory of standing it. We had like a suburban because I, there was four kids and we were all kind of close in age. But I remember standing up in the back when I was like seven being like, please turn this off, turn this off. And my mom not turning it off. And I was like weeping. Like it was just like too much for me to take in as a seven year old. It is. Do you know, I don't know if you know this, but I think I might have said it on the Smashing Pumpkins episode, but that song was written about Jonathan Melvoin, who was the touring keyboard player of the smashing pumpkins who died of a heroin overdose and Sarah McLaughlin didn't even know him.

She just saw on MTV News while she was on tour in a hotel room and was so moved by the story that she wrote in the arms of Angel. Can you believe that? Yeah, is she a Pisces? I'm like, what's her? No, she is a January 28th. Is that an Aquarius? January 28th, Zodiac. Yeah, Aquarius. She's a very special person and that that story always sends me to the moon to write such like a meaningful and like poignant song about just a story you saw about a stranger. Yeah. And then it's forever associated with literal starving puppies that people have abandoned. I know. It really gets me.

You know what song is like that for me? Runaway train. Oh, I can't listen to it. it like imprinted on me. Yeah, just, you remember the music video of all the like missing and lost children and it absolutely imprinted on me as a like 11 year old or whatever. And to this day, I have like a Pavlovian response when it comes on. I'm like, oh, turn it off. I can't deal.

Oh my God. It's too horrifying. Wait, what's that Christmas song that's like, so I want to buy these shoes for my mother, please? Do you know that song? No. I'm going to send it to you. Please. It's so sad.

It's like about this little boy who doesn't have enough money to get his sick mother a pair of shoes for Christmas. There's no happy ending in it. It's a Christmas song with no happy ending. No, no. It's like little drummer boy. It's just like it's too much. I'm going to send it to you because it's so over the top. But I have that reaction with that song where I'm just like, please, I can't.

I'm never going to get out of this mood. I'm foreign and I was raised by immigrants. and I've never even seen a Christmas story. Like, I don't know these like cultural touchstones of the American Christian culture, but I would love to hear it. Actually, maybe I wouldn't love to hear it, but send it to me anyways. Okay, okay. Well, back to In the Arms of an Angel, besides the fact that it absolutely traumatized you,

was there any moment or you were like, I want to absolutely traumatize other people with my emotionally riveting music when I grow up? Yeah, yeah. When I was a kid, I would like write. lyrics down and I had this friend named Hannah who was a really good singer and I would give them to her to like sing and kind of like coach her through it like a young producer like I would be like oh that sounds so good let me draft some more for you not you like songwriting and producing like writing top lines as like a seven year old yeah yeah that was that was how it went

but I didn't have any musical theory training so I was just like I think this sounds right but yeah I mean, ever since forever is that's like what I would like turn on the radio, bring it into a bathroom and just turn it on and just like sing for hours when I was like nine. Yeah. So cool. Were your parents musical or like did they play music around the house? No. Not at all.

No. No. It was just it was in you. The spirit was in you. Yeah. And then you made it happen. That's so cool. Yeah.

Whatever happened to Hannah, did she ever make it happen? No. I don't know what happened with Hannah. I moved a lot when I was little, so Hannah's long gone. Hopefully she's still with. She's still with us. Sure. We presume she's still with us, but perhaps she doesn't have a musical career to speak

up. Yes. Yeah. She's probably maybe like a dental hygienist or like a project manager or something. Yeah, she wasn't as dedicated as I was. Did you move around a lot because your parents' job? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. This only happened to me once, but it was like potentially the worst possible time. because I was 15 years old, and I had to move from Torrance, California, to Asia, to Singapore. Oh, my God. Which is fine. It's just that, like, I have, like, now, like, looking back, a real understanding of how, like, much that shaped my entire personality. Like, do you feel that about moving around a lot as a kid? Yes, for sure. I mean, I switched. So, we moved around a bunch, and then there was, like, when I was in sixth grade, I really didn't want to do it again. And my siblings and I would like go to our computer in the computer room and put a screensaver that'd be like, don't, don't buy this house. There's rats in here.

Like we would like do like little plots to try and scare people away from buying the house so we didn't have to move. But yeah, I mean, I think my middle of seventh grade move was like where all my angst came from and just. Yeah, because being in the seventh grade is already just the most harrowing life experience that most people have, except for those mutants. who are very popular and happy in seventh grade, and they never have good lives after that. So that's how things even out. But like, and then on top of it, to be like, you did all this work to socially acclimate.

You clawed your way to having any sort of friendships and social status. And now we're going to make you the new kid where you're going to lose all of that currency. Yeah. It's crazy how much of that I remember, which says something about that experience. Like I remember sitting in, yeah, I'm sure there was like a bathroom lunch here or there for the first week.

Oh, yeah. Just like trying to run away. But whatever. Listen, it paid off. For me, unfortunately, I had to be a clown because I had to make friends. And look, now I'm a clown for a living. So everything happens for a reason. How long were you there for the rest of high school?

So I graduated high school there. Wow. Yeah, that's a massive move. I had just gotten a foothold. I mean, I had just, like, gotten some, like, a place in the world. In, like, ninth grade, I had friends. I was going to cool keg parties. I was listening to Blink 182. I had a cool metal ball necklace. I had several Roxy T-shirts that were my prize possessions. Wow. I haven't straight. I haven't thought about Roxy in so long. I was fucking killing it, bitch. I had my etnies. I was, like, had a little red Adidas backpack. I was fucking on motherfucking fire, okay? Not really. because I was still quite ugly. But at the very least, I had, like, friends and, like, some sense of personal style.

And I was like, okay, I hooked up with a boy, like, the whole thing. And then my parents were like, we're moving to Singapore and you're going to go to a school with a uniform. And nobody here knows who Blinkwentin A8 is. And I was like, nobody here knows who Blinkwitney-A-2 is. I don't go to this whack fucking school. It all worked out, though, in the end. I had, like, a dream ninth grade situation happened. happen because basically all my other siblings went to private schools, but I was at the public

school. And I was, my grades were horrible. Is that why they put you in the public school? Because they were like, we're not paying for you to get these bad grades. No, no. They actually, they were like, we can't, this is not working. You need to go to like private school. And this was in ninth grade. And my best friend Rachel and I were like being so dramatic. We had like these long exchanges of notes back and forth. We're like, what's going to happen to us? And I was waiting upstairs in a uniform. My dad came in the house and he was like, God damn it. And he was like, you didn't get in because I had to write a letter about why I wanted to be there.

And I was like, I don't want to be here. And so they were like, she has to wait until she gets a better attitude before she comes in. So all of a sudden, and I was like back in Rosemont at my public school. Like that's like a dream situation for a ninth grader. That's so perfect. It was like, the joy I felt, I was like, can't catch me now. Yeah. Nice try.

You tried a bit. bitch, fuck you. They don't want me either. Damn. Really revisiting the trauma of our youth right now. Really thinking about it. My lord. We'll move on from this.

It's painful. But again, look, look at us now. Thriving. Yeah. Pitchfork darlings, one of us. The other one, a podcaster. Everything worked up. Okay.

What was the first album? them that you bought with your own money or shoplifted with your own two hands. Okay, this is, this is pretty good. So when I, I think I was, I don't know, whatever, I was like maybe six or seven, but I basically I jumped off a slide and my arm, I like landed with my arm behind it and I broke my arm, but my grandpa was like, you're fine. And so like, I slept through night and then the next day I was like, I'm in so much pain. And I went to the doctor with my mom and they were like, oh, your humor is broken.

And she was like, what do you want? You can go to Target and pick out a CD. And I knew exactly what I wanted. It was Matchbox 20, like the one with the guy with the goggles on the front. Yeah. Yeah. And that was it. Like, that was my first CD.

And I was like, could not wait. I am starting to dawn on me that you're younger than me. I'm 33. Yes. So I'm like, okay, that's very interesting. because I was well in high school when that Matchbox 20 CD came out. Okay, okay. Is that the one with push on it?

Yes. It's like the big one. Yeah, I want to push you around. 3 a. Dude, 3am is a fucking eternal fucking banger. Why don't you cover that? Have you covered that? You should cover that.

You know what? I should. You wouldn't kill it. Okay, okay. I'll work out. I'll see it about it today. I have to tell you a little story. I did go to see Matchbox 20.

Not that long ago. Like within the last five years. Um, they did a like joint headlining tour with my beloved counting crows. And I went with my friend and she works, um, for the counting crows in the capacity. And so we were backstage and I was just like going to go to the bath. Not backstage, but whatever, like in the arena. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I was walking to go to the bathroom and I literally walked directly into Rob Thomas, like knocked into him. And I must tell you, he is one of the most stunningly beautiful men I've ever laid my eyes on. I was not expecting that. He's, Yeah. Really? He is, oh my God. He is so beautiful, tall, amazing jawline, piercing blue eyes. Like, I was like, oh, hello, sir.

Like, really, like, ruffled my feathers. And I was like, oh, my God, I did not expect Rob Thomas to be so handsome. Oh, my God. Me either. Me either, because he got a little, the Rob Thomas career went a little. Got a little. Sure. He had a real peak with, you know, it's a hot one, seven inches to the midday sun.

That was the real peak of, I think. And, you know, but he will, you'll always be famous, Rob Thomas. Push, 3 a.m. There's so many good songs. Yeah, I would still put those on and be like, you know what? I still like this song. I can back it up. They're great songs.

Yeah. Unwell? I'm not crazy. I'm just a little unwell. I know. It's my theme song, actually. It's literally, I'm not going to have this. A little unwell.

Do you feel like there's any like lingering effects of that CD on your own personal songwriting? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I feel like when I listen to that as an adult, I'm like, okay, I get it. That makes a lot of sense. Like, this did seep into my experience and into my art history in a way that I can't quite put a finger on, but it's there guiding my hand. Yeah. Yeah.

Alicia, did anyone in your childhood ever take? tell you, you're never going to fucking make it. So just give up or something like that, like they do in the movies. And if so, what did you say back? So many people. So many people. So many people. Hannah, my dad, the guy from the private school. Like I, it's so many teachers, which is surprising. Because basically, I was, when I was graduating high school, I couldn't get into any colleges because my grades were so bad. And my teacher, I got to go take electives at a school on the zoo campus that we called the zoo school. And they had an audio engineering class.

And so I ended up just being there all the time. And my teacher found MTSU and he was like, basically anyone can get in here and you can get in state. And it's like you can get a bachelor's of science and audio engineering. Because I wanted to get an audio engineering degree or like a pro tools degree. But my dad was like, no, they're not going to do that. What is that even? Like that's not going to happen. You want a major in Pro Tools, baby?

but I'm confused. Yeah, right. What is that even? So I went there and then I wanted to be, basically there was like a music minor, but like a dumbed down version. And I was like, I feel like I can pull this off.

And I had, well, my first music teacher was like, you're not, you're not going to pass. You have no music theory background. Like, this is going to be hell for you.

And then a year later, I couldn't make it into the audio engineering program. So I had to like appeal it by turning in, a mix, which is like so dramatic looking back at it. So, and then, wait, before I even went, I had this friend who was like a year older than me, and this is so funny to think about because it's also so dramatic who like took me out to Applebee's and she was just like, I just need you to rethink what you're going to do with your career. Like an intervention.

Yes, yes, yes. At Applebee's. To add insult to injury. Yeah, Emily Peterson at Applebee's. So this was before I even got to school. And then I had the music teacher. And then when I appealed and got into the audio engineering program, like six months into it, I had another teacher telling me that he didn't think I should study it. Like, he was like, I don't, this like doesn't seem like it's going to work out for you.

So that has just been told to me the whole time. Emily Peterson, babe. Where is she now? Should we find her? I mean, maybe we should. I really think we should take her to Applebee's and we should, like, really print out all of your press and interviews and stuff and be like, Hey Emily, I produced a fucking mountain goats record, bitch. Yeah, this is my heavyweight is calling Emily Peterson.

I really think you should. It should be like, oh, you tried to put some fucking fried onion in front of me and perhaps some of those egg rolls with an avocado in it. I'm confusing fast food estopp or, you know, whatever chain establishments because I'll be honest, I don't really fuck with Applebee's like that, so I don't really know what's on the menu. But perhaps the chicken tenders, I don't know. I'm sure they had some sort of appetizer platter with. multiple options on it. She tried to put that in front of you and be like, you should give up,

and you were like, I'm not giving up, bitch. She was like a year older than me. Like, thinking she was like someone's, you know, like your aunt or something. You're like, bitch, you're 18, I'm 17. Like, let's relax right now. I wish she had a less generic name because I would love to look her up and see what she's doing with her life. Yeah. I mean, I'll look it up. Yeah. Yeah, we can find her through the alumni networks. And then we can send her a package. And you know when I say, bitch, it's like a, in an endearing way, Right? You know what I'm saying? Okay, okay, good. I just felt like I needed to clarify because I used it in a way where I was also kind of like mad at somebody. So yeah, it's real, um, it's really fluid around to hear how I use it. And it's up to everyone's interpretation and I don't care what anyone thinks. That's what I need. I'm. I know in my heart who I am. My side of the street is clean. Yeah. Emily Peterson, fuck you bitch. Um, number seven. Alicia, when was the last time you lied? I am the worst liar. Like, worse. Like, I can't even, I can't lie.

Like, I will, it'll come out of me. Usually with, like, a weird, uncomfortable smile. Can you do it in written form? Like, what about in a text or an email? Is that easier? No. No. No, I can't, you should ask my bandmates because it's like I, well, okay, here, here is how I can lie.

The one time, this, this is how I lie. I will bring, I order, like, really corny breaks or pranks from Amazon before tour, and I'll bring them on tour and I will prank people and so like one of I had like this cricket machine and then I had a cat machine

and what is a cricket machine and what is a cat machine? So a cat machine makes the sounds. Yes, yes and it's like a small little thing and you hide it somewhere and the last one I did

well actually the last one I did was a prank roll of toilet paper where it doesn't rip but before that it was the cat machine and my tour manager and guitar player were, we like got a little stoned and we're watching a scary movie. And I like went into the room and they were like, what was that noise? And my door was open and they're like looking all around.

I was like, did you hear that? And I was like, no. And they were like, we thought we heard a cat. And I was like, are you guys fucking with me? And they're like, yeah. And then it went off again like 20 minutes later. And they went to look around. And then Lisa came into my room and I was like crying, laughing on the bed.

But like the first time where I was like, I don't know what that is. That is the only way that I can lie. If it's a prank. The closest you can get to misrepresenting yourself is in the service of a prank. Yes, yes. That's very tender, honestly. It's very sweet. You obviously didn't have immigrant parents who were extremely strict,

which caused you to have to develop literal Oscar-level lying skills, like acting and lying skills, like truly elaborate systems. of lies with different mechanisms in order to live any sort of life. Yeah, no, no, my house in high school was a shit show. No, my parents do whatever I wanted. Sleepovers? You need to sleep over at someone's house? No, you need to come home.

We don't do, like, they literally didn't understand any of it. It's because they didn't have it growing. Like, that's not what they did in Iran. There's no gender, both gender dances. I don't know. We have all genders, but nobody really acknowledged all genders. Anyways, boys and girls at the school dance together could not compute for them. They're like, no, but you're not going to that.

So, yes, I became an expert liar. Oh, yeah, that way. I can see that. I could see you being like, okay, well, I need to go out. I'm going to be at the library. And, like, you know, I wasn't all at the library, babe. I was doing drugs at someone's house. Yeah. So it did backfire a bit.

But I turned out, okay. again, I must. Yeah, look at you now. Ish, I turned out okay, ish. I am a podcaster for a living. I'm not crazy. I'm just a little... Unwhile.

Unwhile, yeah. Number eight, Alicia, what character in a book or film do you relate to the most and why? Am I picking a character or like just like the idea of a character? Just whatever, whatever character you felt like spoke to you, like felt like you understood their heart and soul. Oh, okay. You're like, she like me for real, you know? Yeah. He liked me for real.

I don't know. I can't think. I don't think there was many because I didn't watch a lot of TV and I didn't watch a lot of movies because they were just hard for me to sit through. So I feel like anything I was watching was just something that was like massive. And I don't feel like I, okay, actually if it's like a now and day thing, I mean 10 15 at TV show. Totally. There are seventh grade experiences. I was like, yes, that is.

I think that was like, yes, that's the closest I've ever seen anything being like, yes, I've directly experienced this. Okay, that's a good one. Yeah, I think I only watched the first season of P M15, but it was very good. It was very right on point. Yeah, that's the best one. And maybe I didn't even finish it. I have an issue with that kind of stuff, not because it's not excellent because it was,

but it's the same reason. Like, I couldn't watch girls the first go-round because I was like, oh, yeah, I lived this. and it was really painful and uncomfortable. And I actually don't want to watch and experience it again, even if it is funny. I want to watch Dr. Gregory House be sort of cantankerous while he solves extremely difficult to solve medical mysteries. Yeah, I get that. That makes sense.

I could see it. Yeah. It's a little triggering. It's a little triggering. Yeah, exactly. Not to be a little snowflake, but I can't handle Penn 15. I can't take it. Number nine, Alicia, what was your biggest sliding doors moment?

Have you seen the film, the Guineath-Paltrow film Sliding Doors? No. Okay, the premise in the film is that she basically, it's a split timeline where she either gets on a train or misses the train, and her life takes two different forms. Instead of a chance encounter, though, what I'm asking you is, like, what was a choice that you made that if you had made a different choice, you would absolutely not be on the path that you are today? I mean going to Tennessee because I had never been here before I just showed up Where did you grow up?

For college Well, all over the place But where did you come from? Yeah, I came from a town called Rosemount, Minnesota It was in Minnesota So I was gonna ask

Why you say tour Tor Oh yeah That's probably why But yeah That is like That totally changed everything Because

That's what you say tour Tour How do you say it? Tour Tour Tour. Okay, I'm not going to go on this rabbit hole

because I'm already just like, huh? No, it was not. It's very cute. It's just many people pronounce it that way. It's just I noticed it because it's a regional dialectical thing. Tour.

Yeah, I would say that. Also, like, that internship at electrical audio, because I kind of got into tape machines and then that, doing that internship, like, just kind of like, I just learned so much from that.

And it introduced me to, you know, like the indie rock world and stuff. I mean, I was getting into it before that, but those two things were very because learning about tape machines helped you to be able to record your own music that you were writing. No, it's because I was in the audio

engineering program and everything was in Pro Tools and it was very confusing for me. I didn't really understand it because I'm a physical learner. And so the first time I got around a tape machine I realized that Pro Tools transport was replicating a tape machine and it just felt everything kind of clicked

and made more sense to me. And so that was how I even found electrical audio is because they specialize in tape. So that was like when I really started to feel like I could do this and like excel in it and stuff. Were you writing your own music at the time also alongside your like studies? Yeah. So you were doing that the whole time, but were you not showing anyone or you were showing people? I wasn't really showing anybody. It was so bad. I was so nervous. I like I remember getting together with a group of my, a couple guys that I was friends with, I think like our freshman year. I was supposed to play, like I was supposed to maybe do some, like, singing.

It was like a, they were like wanted to for a band and play like a synth line. And I was like, I could have thrown up just standing in a room with three of them. Like I was like, I was terrified. The first few shows that I played, I was like, I couldn't even, I could like barely get the words out. How long did it take you to get over that, like your stage, right? A long time. Like years. Like when I was just in London doing that as.

like those solo shows, I could have thrown up. I was so, my hands were shaking. I'm like, yeah, it's not, it's not like second nature for me to get up and do that. It's like a very, it's a mental battlefield for me. No, I couldn't see that. It's scary. I always think about Liz Faire because she knows she was so famously had crippling stage, right? When she first started for like a long time, I think.

And I just, I saw her play over the weekend. And it was so cool because you could see that she was like now just having so much fun and like Yeah. Just like clearly isn't there anymore. And it's just cool to say that like, oh, that doesn't last forever. You know, like it doesn't make you a worse artist. Like if anything, it's like that's that's just some people are naturally have no issue with a bunch of people staring at them. And some people are normal and do, you know?

Yeah. I mean, I think part of it too was like playing, you know, like kind of starting the whole thing in Nashville, you're just around these people who are like guitar whizzes and their parents of studios. And like I was just kind of teaching myself and I was like really insecure about playing that because I just didn't feel like I could really,

you know, like, I don't know, I felt really bad. Like your technical skill wasn't like up to snuff or whatever. Yeah, right. But like, yeah, I mean when I went to, tried to go to Europe for the first time in May, I was so nervous and stress to perform alone that I literally gave myself shingles. Oh my God.

Yeah. And for those of you who don't know what shingles is, it's like a disease that you get if you're 50 plus. I mean, I'm kind of immunocompromise as well, but that was like me physically. Like I was pushing myself to the point where my body just started shutting down. I was like, yeah.

I just started talking during shows. You would just go through the songs and not say hello. make any chitchap. Yeah, I don't say anything. I still, I mean, I still don't until like last week in London, which now maybe I will, but I have like little noises on my pedal board that I'll make. So anytime I need a tuning break, there's just noise, so I don't have to say anything. Incredible. It's really a gift that I can't play music and I'm toned up because probably in between songs I would just talk wait so long. It would be like the set time would run out because I would just be talking because I

talk so much. It's a blessing. If it makes me feel better, I also got shingles at a Coachella influencer house that I had to stay. Not because I was an influencer. It was through a work thing. But I did procure shingles from a weekend at a Coachella influencer house, like, well in my 30s. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is like a senior citizen thing. But I am so not crazy, but just a little unwell and stressed and anxious. It was like in my like peak anxiety years.

And I gave myself fucking shingles. Yeah. Yeah. It's awful. I'm here for you. You can't get the vaccine until you're 50. I tried to get it. Like, on the last tour I did because I was nervous and I was afraid it was going to come back.

And so my tour manager like sent me up an appointment at CVS and they were like, we can't, you can't get this. Shingles is also like, it's chicken pox. It's like adult chicken pox. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. It's like we all have it laying dormant in our bodies, but only when you get in really bad shape is like when it is, when it like triggers up and gets going. Yeah.

Well, let that be a guiding light for you because that was maybe nine or ten years ago. And now I could not be more who cares about most things. And I will never go back there again. So it is possible to free yourself from the shackles of the crippling anxiety. That's inspiring to me. As my therapist says, it's not easy, but it is simple and it just takes time. Okay. I love that.

You got this? You're not crazy. You're just a little unwell. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Number 10. Alicia, what characteristic are you most drawn to in other people? I mean, I think I don't have the best track record of people who I get romantically involved with. Well, this is not specifically romantic, but yes.

Okay. Yeah, I'm not really, like, I think that now as a 33-year-old, I feel like I can make some better choices than I have in the past moving forward. Sure. Whatever may happen with my love life. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I will say that something that I want now that I know

that I want is some level of like emotional maturity and like compassion slash empathy. Because I feel like I am empathetic to a fault. Like not like in, I don't mean that in a good way. Like to a point where it's like I'll see someone

at Home Depot and I'm like, they look sad. And it's just like my whole chest will start to like cave in and I'll think about it forever. Yeah. So like it would be cool if I one day found somebody who was like at least understands a little bit of that. Right. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. And yeah. That's, I mean, I would love somebody to be funny. Sure. Just I like funny people. Most common answer is funny. It is. Yeah, but I think your first answer is probably better.

Yeah. Right. Because funny doesn't mean anything. I mean, it can mean intelligence, I think. It probably indicates some level of intelligence, but it doesn't in any way indicate being like a good person. It doesn't make it being a bad person. It's just neutral.

You could absolutely be like the worst person ever and still be really funny. Yeah. So, well, let's go with my first answer and just like someone who knows how to communicate. Well. Those are like the classic, I think. building blocks of a good relationship, right? Empathy, compassion, communication. Mm-hmm. I hope so. The theory is, though, that you are drawn to people who contain the parts of your shadow that you need to integrate. So often the things that we don't

like about the people that we end up in relationship with are because we needed to work those things out in ourselves. And that was the purpose of the relationship. Interesting. My therapist guided me through. It is very interesting. I mean, I think all relationships are that, right? For better or for worse, they're all like sort of meant to teach us something and to help us self-actualized.

I remember one day, I think I said this on the program before, but I got really frustrated with my therapist and I was like, okay, I'm supposed to meet all my own needs, you say? Okay, well, then what the fuck are relationships for? What is the point of relationships? and she was like, you can only self-actualize so far on your own. Like, you have to self-actualize up against another person. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And I was like, oh, oh, okay. And then it kind of explained some of my worst relationships. I was able to, like, kind of re-contextualize them as, like, actually being really helpful in the long run, even though they were really painful because my shadow was, like,

really activated and then forced to, like, those parts that I had shoved so far down in my shadow because I hated about myself so much were like integrated it back into myself and I like grew into a more whole person from it. Yeah, that's interesting. So something to think about. Number 11, Alicia, who is the last person you met that you were starstruck by? I assume you're at the very least hobnobbing with the Indirati. I mean, I got to do that tour with the Pixies

and then I got to play with the breeders. And the breeders are like my favorite band of all time. And so that was just really exciting. But I'm so, I don't think that it's like, I don't really get, I think what makes me more starstruck is something, something like unrelated to music. Like it would be like an actor or something. Sure, sure.

I mean, like four years ago, I met Derek Barry, which was this drag queen from Rupal. So that was like... That was huge for you. Yeah, that was huge for me. But yeah, I don't know. Do you have any known celebrity fans? Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I would say, yeah. Can they know who they are? I don't know. I feel like I'm going to sound like an asshole. No, I asked you. I forced you to say it. You're not bragging. I mean, I'll just, and who even knows if they're fans, but like, Billy Joe from Green Day reached out saying he had some bully t-shirts, which I thought was cool.

We stand Billy Joe and all of Green Day on this program. Yeah. The jawbreaker guys that took us on tour. I mean, I would just kind of say, like, hello, Adam, if you're listening. Adam sometimes listens to the pod. Hell yet. I'm just assuming their fans because they took them on tour, but then. Right.

I don't think they would take you if they thought. thought you were trash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'm so bad at that question. I'm sorry. Okay. She's, she's too humble, you guys. I would be like listing them off like it was my job. And my face is turning red because I am. I'm like, I don't want anyone to think I'm like bragging. Nobody thinks that. But Billy Joe Armstrong, listen to Bandsblane. I think you would like it. I think you could be a fan. Next time you talk to him, perhaps you could hit him to your favorite podcast. You'd be like, wow, Thanks, Billy Joe. I have this podcast I think you'd really like. Bansplaine. That's all I say to everybody all the time. I didn't interview the other day,

and I wouldn't shut up about it. You should ask my man how often I talk about it. It's crazy. I'm so touched. Seriously. It makes me really happy. It's so good. Sorry. I brought her on, you guys, it's like a full sci-op situation. I literally only brought her on, and I told her that she had to talk about how good bandsplains or she couldn't come on, and that's why she is doing it. I mean, I can barely watch a TV show or movie because of my attention span, and I can listen to bands playing. So it's like, yeah, it's comforting.

Yeah. That's like your relationship with me is like my relationship with Dr. Andy Huberman. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 24. Number 12. Alicia, when was the last time you slid into anyone's DMs? I just kind of, I'm getting the sense that you're not really a DMs letter, but. No. Okay, how about when was the last time anyone's, oh, you have a good, I do. I DMs Cheryl Crow a few years ago in the van. Do you want to see? I mean, she never read it, but should I? Yeah, what did you say? Okay, hold on. Let me see. Yeah, pull it up. Give us a dramatic reading. Also, what's that apple juice company that starts with?

an A, it's like Martin, or an M, it's like Martin Nellis or something. Yeah, I spammed as well. I spam their Instagram page. Trying to get that sponsorship. I was just like, so I used to take Ambien forever because I couldn't sleep and it would just, I mean, I was like, I for some reason would get like overly positive at night because I would stay up because I was like, I feel great. And I'd be like, I would look at my Instagram the next day and I would be like, you're the best.

You go, girl. Like, I'm proud of you. That was like my. That's what you were saying to Martian. Nellie's Applegious? Yeah. You go, girl. I'm part of you.

If you go through their Instagram from however far back, you will find comments from me being like, I'm your number one fan. Okay, here's a message that I sent to Cheryl Grove. I've listened to you all my life and I'm so grateful. Thank you for being so incredibly inspired and the coolest, most iconic person alive. That's really sweet and lovely. I don't know if it was the ambient talking or not, but it's really earnest and nice. Yeah, that was my DM slide.

Okay. All right. Has anyone exciting slid into your DMs? I don't think so. Okay. All right. Well, maybe after this. She's open, you guys.

I'm open, but also I'm not, I'm not like, I'm bad at Instagram. I'm like not. Yeah, you're not a prolific Instagram user. I respect that about you. Is that a choice or is it just more like you're not interested? I'm not interested. Like, I should be more active on it. No, that's so cool.

It's so cool to not be interested in Instagram. It's just, it doesn't make me. feel good. So I'm like, I don't want to be on this thing. You know, good. That's all, that's all the information you need to know. Yeah. To not use it. Um, number 13, Alicia, what is the horniest song ever in your opinion? Hmm. Okay. I don't want to tell you it just came into my head because it's really, no, but you have to. It's, it's, it's, I'm not crazy. I'm just a little unwell. No, no, I don't think it's a horny song at all, but for some reason you said, that I can't, what came into my head is, I believe, do you believe in miracles, you sexy thing?

Is it, do you believe or I believe? I believe in miracles. Tom Jones, actually, that is kind of a known, Tom Jones is kind of a known horny avatar icon. So it makes sense why your brain connected that. Okay, well, let's just go with that because I don't think there's any. Let's go with I believe in miracles, you sexy thing. Oh yeah, producer Jesse points out there's like the scene in the full Monty where they dance to that. I don't know if you've ever seen the film

The Fulamante, it sounds like you don't watch very many films. Yeah, that's a good movie. They strip and get naked to the song. Yeah, I think it makes sense. Yeah, because there's nothing else that I really listen to that are like, wow, I'm super turned on right now. You go to your computer and you type in

horny music into the Spotify search for. And that's how you take care of that situation. Yes, okay. French music, horny music. Horny French music. Number 14. Alicia, what is the biggest money you've ever turned down? Oh, okay, yeah.

I turned down. When I first was getting started, I turned down $10,000 from Taco Bell because they wanted me to do a cover of take the money and run. And I was like, I think I had never been offered. Well, first of all, I would have had to split that. but like I had never been offered any money like that in my life. So I was like, holy shit.

But then I was like, there's no way I can cover Steve Miller band for Taco Bell. And I turned it down. And I am so glad every day that I turn that down. My mouth is agape. I mean, look, take the money and run. It's not my favorite song. What if it was the Joker? Still no.

No. I think if Taco Bell asked me to do almost anything, I would legitimately do it for free because I love them. I actually, you to Martinelli's apple juice is me to Taco Bell. I'm like, you go, girl, I'm so proud of you. I love you so much.

I mean, I love Taco Bell. I just, yeah, that was too much. And I think there's probably been some other things that were like. So it wasn't Taco Bell with Steve Miller Band. It was your hatred of Steve Miller. It was a combination of both because I don't think I fell in love with Taco Bell until later in my life. But this was like nine or ten years ago. But yeah, it was a combination of both.

Did they blacklist you from that program where they sent all the touring musicians like $50,000 worth of Taco Bell gifts cards every year for their tour? I got that $300 of Taco Bell gift cards. Amazing. Fantastic. See, that's no harm, no foul, actually. Yeah. And oh, another thing is like video, there's like a few video games that were like wanted to sing something that were like, gun heavy video games and I was like I'm not going to do that.

Okay, that makes more sense. Yeah. That's, that's a principle. What if Taco Bell came to you now and was like, would you cover, we didn't start the fire, fallout boy version? No. No. If they wanted, what if it was like a Cheryl Crow? $250,000 to cover Fall Out Boy.

We didn't start the fire. How does it go? I'm just thinking Fallout Boy. Well, it's the, it's Billie. It's Billy Joel's we didn't start the fine. Oh, okay. It was all. You haven't heard that.

That's what I thought. Fall Out Boy did a modern version, an updated version. They changed the words. I believe it was last year this year. I don't think I could do it. And it's not, and I don't mean that against Fahawboy. I just, like I said, I'm sure. It's not a discreet.

I can't lie. So if I'm like supposed to do something I'm not interested in you, I don't have, I have no poker face. Like I'm, it just, it doesn't work. Right. You know? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, they would be like, this lady is lame is.

She does not want to do this. Okay, beautiful. Taco Bell, if you're listening, the bang my line, I will work for you, probably for free. Okay, number 15. What is the best live show you've ever seen, Alicia? You've probably seen so many good ones. Okay.

What comes to mind, it's a little different than the best live show, but, I mean, one of the best live bands I've seen is Mets, when we did a co-headline, two, or like 70. years ago and it was insane watching them every night. And they're like a three piece. So it's like you all have to be so solid. And I got to see it paired with like this really cool. This woman came to do lights for the Chicago show.

And that was really cool. I don't know. I have like this thing when it comes to music. Like it's like if someone is like, what have you been listening to it recently? It's like all of a sudden and it's like I've never listened to music before in my life. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like that.

I don't know why. It's like my head just like blanks. Just blanks. Yeah. I get that. Mets is really good though. They're up there in bands I've seen play live. There was a period of time where I feel like I saw Mets all the time.

Yeah. It probably was around seven years ago, seven eight years ago. I'll just tell you since you said Breeders, the Breeders is one of the best shows I've ever seen in my life because I saw them in 2000. whatever the title TK year was 2002 does that sound right to you? And they

at the time I guess were just I mean they never got they're never really massive but they were pretty big around Cannonball but by this time that that hullabaloo had sort of died down and it was the 2000

so they were just playing a small issue of any and Santa Barbara was like the coach house and Pat Smear was in the band and it was one of the coolest shows I've ever seen our entire life Kelly, Kelly did smoke a sig the duration of the entire set. Really?

It must have been multiple sigs because I don't think a sig could have lasted. There must have been some sort of roadie who like ran up and switched out sags. I'm not really sure. But she truly was just smoking a sick the entire time looking fucking cool as hell, just hanging out of her mouth. It was so sick. Yeah, they're so good. Incredible. All right.

Number 16, Alicia. When in your life were you the most fucked up wasted hammered trashed? Okay, well, that's like a very dark question for me because I'm California. for you so bad. I know. I absolutely do need to at some point modify this because many musicians I talked to are like, yeah, I had a problem with that. I had to go to rehab. Which is, is there like, perhaps like one of the nights where it was funny before it got very dark or we can just skip this question altogether? Yeah, I mean, like the night before I quit drinking was like one of the worst nights in my life. So maybe we just skip this question. Well, that's, that's a good

answer in itself. And if you guys are out of listening and being like, oh, I don't know. Like, maybe I need to stop drinking. If that is, if I asked you that question and that's how you would feel about answering it, perhaps that's a good thing to look into. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Number 17. Alicia, what do you love? This is a, this is a tandem question 17, 18. What do you love the most about being famous and what do you hate the most about being famous? And before you start to say, I'm not famous, I'm going to stop you right there. Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. Because you have some level of fame because you're on this podcast here with me. Yes.

Are you, you know, fucking Madonna? No, but you have your own level of fame. And I'm sure I'm torturing you. I thought we might have a good time. But Alicia really is regretting every second that she's come on this podcast. I'm sure there are pros and cons, right? Like even at like my extremely marginal level of quote-on-quote, fame, there are pros and cons.

So I just want to hear the I mean, I know that very well. The worst part about doing music for a living is having any sort of responsibility to social media and also having to be expected to explain your music, like your songs and your lyrics. I hate those two

things. And I feel like it kind of takes away a little bit of the mystery, which to me, it's like I don't really want to know what every single song that I love is about because then I can kind of twist it into a way that connects with me. And I feel like once someone is like, yeah, they were writing about like a spider on the back porch or something. You're just like, oh, okay. That's a nightmare. When I was doing the Smith's episode,

you'll get to it. You're like, Morris, you wrote four to seven songs about the British music press. These are songs that I absolutely thought were like the most emotional love songs of my life. And they're literally him yelling at the enemy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. We don't need to know this shit. We don't need to know this. Yeah. And I think the social media thing too, it's just like, I don't, It just makes me feel horrible. My dream, dream, dream is like that one day I put out a record that does well enough to where I can just be like, all right, I'm out. I'm not doing social media.

Yeah, like I can just exist and have someone post about shows or whatever and not have to do this. But I'm still like, you know, I still have to do the press and everything like that because whatever, I'm not like making everybody a fucked on a money. So it's like I have to play the game. but my ideal game would be just none of that. I feel like you could play a fun new game when you do press where you just don't answer the question.

I do. That you don't want to be. Yeah, I have... Where you just stare at them silently blinking until they move on to the next question. Yeah, I'm definitely like way more savage in the way that I answer questions than I was nine years ago. Like, I'm not really afraid to be like,

huh, well, I guess this question, you know, like I guess the words, like say that to somebody who's, interviewing me. It's like kind of awkward, but I also am just like, I don't really care. Yeah, but like who cares? I mean, like, if you can just like out awkward the other person, like, that's in interviews, the hardest thing that can happen, but the most respected is when someone is just like silent and like thinks about a thing and then is like, won't gives you nothing because they don't want to. Like, I respect that so much because like it's such like a, for me who talks all the time and like can't stop talking, I can't help but jump in to fill in the

silence without like thinking about it. So, like, being able to take time to think about something before you answer is, like, God tear to me. Yeah. Yes. Okay. What about what do you love? I mean, I would say playing shows. I love playing live.

It's like, it's a very good, I feel like it's like an energy belief. Even though you're anxious. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when I don't have to talk and stuff, I just, it's like I'm just like, just like, just like, covered up by just like the loud distortion or whatever it's it is such an outlet the wall of guitar tone yeah like my dream show if you ask anyone i toured with is like playing live with my friends but then like a curtain down as the barrier of like that like i even just practicing for me it's like the same thing and and then also just like you know obviously just like being able to write music for

living is all i've ever wanted to do yeah Fuck you. What was her name? Helen Peterson. Is that her name? Hannah? Oh, Emily Peterson. Yeah. Emily Peterson. Fuck you, bitch. Never forget. She does it for a fucking living. Yeah, that's right. Applebee's. I want to take her to Applebee's. Okay. Number 19 is the wild card. Usually I would ask a question about you, but I think I've tortured you a lot. And also, I genuinely need your advice. So. Oh, my gosh. Yes. I'm excited. Alicia. Should I adopt a dog? Yes. I know you're a big. You're a big, right? I do. You know, sometimes when you come to advice for someone when you're like, you go to the person that you know is going to say what you want to hear. But you're a big dog adopter. And you have Papa. And also, weren't you recently fostering a larger dog? Did you end up adopting that dog? No, I've been fostering since my other dog passed away. But here, my answer is wags and walks has a place in Nashville or in Nashville, but also in L.A.

So you should just foster, and then if you get along with the dog, you can adopt it. I feel like that's a good way to know, you know, because I think that's the best way to know if it's going to make sense for you. Because you could have to spend time with it before you have to commit or whatever. Right, because it's like not all people and dogs are a good match. No. I don't know if I said match. Some dogs just need different things, I feel like. And then if you don't adopt it, at least you gave it a place to hang out for a few weeks until it.

did get adopted. Totally. Yeah. Give it some love. Okay. I like this. I like this journey for me. Yeah.

And I will be calling you for tips and advice. Yes. Because I'm really, I don't have a lot of experience. But I do think I would be a wonderful dog mother. Yeah. I absolutely think you should do it. Thank you, Alicia. You're welcome.

That was my wild card. Number 20, Alicia. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday. Yeah. Right. Pisces. Because you can't have much. During this interview, you just didn't notice. I was literally crying. There's tears coming down my face. I'm so stressed out by all of your questions.

I have a funny moment with somebody when I was like going through a breakup where I was trying to communicate and I wasn't because I was just crying. And I was like crying saying that I hated how I can't communicate without crying. And they were like, you can just like practice not crying. And I was like, no, like, what do you talk? practice not crying? What kind of sociopath were you breaking up with? Like they're like, you don't have to cry. And I was like, yeah, do you think I want to be crying right now? Like, I can't even get my words out. It's the worst. Like, the whole part of crying is like, you can't really, I mean, I guess unless you're like an actor, but, oh, God, I cry all the time. It's so dramatic. Like, it's just so taxing. It's so taxing. Sometimes it feels really good. But I can see. The other, other day I did make my therapist cry, which I do think is expert level. Like, if you know, I'm pretty good, right? Yeah. Pretty fucking good. I'm not crazy. I am just a little bit unwell. That's great. I'm going to tell her that today.

When I used to get into like, I don't want to say, whatever, I was a child. So when my dad would like reprimand me or like be, you know, I was in trouble, I would always cry and he would like get upset and he would be like, why are you crying? We're having a logical discussion. My That's like an engineer in a burgo. So we'd be like, why are you crying? We're simply having a logical conversation. And I was like, I'm eight, so I don't know what that means. And you seem upset with me.

And thusly, I'm going to cry because I don't feel good. So that was fun. Yeah, so people just don't understand that sort of emotional response. Yeah, because it sucks. Because it's like you can't control it. That's like the whole point. I mean, I guess you could to an extent, but most of the time you can't. And you're like, to me, it's always, I'm like on a fucking plane or something.

And I'm like, you need. No, I have a theory. I have a theory that planes absolutely by 200% heighten the crying instinct. Okay. Like, you will always cry on a plane. That's why you'll watch some fucking movie on a plane. I cry at every movie. I think I'm a little emotionally repressed.

And so I need an outside stimulus to make me cry. And so it's always movies in TV. But, like, I'll watch the dumbest fucking movie on a, like, the stupid. the hangover. Do you know what I mean? And I will cry. There would be a part that will make me cry because I'll be like on a fucking

because it's on a plane. There's something about like the air, you know, the fucking volume of the fucking pressure. I have no idea. Yeah. I feel like oftentimes I just like even a few weeks ago walking through the airport

I was like every just like so many times everything feels too big. Like the world just feels too big. I'm like I can't deal with this right now and then it's like the tears. The tears. That's right. That's right.

very tender and sweet. I'm touched. Number 21, Alicia, I'm going to give you the other version of this question. It's usually what is your greatest regret, but I would like to change it to what is your relationship with David Matthews and his band? The Dave Matthews band, if you will. I mean, after bands playing, I'm on board. Like, I loved, I thought I was, everything was so sweet about him. It totally, like, I mean, I didn't even have any ill will to begin with. I think I was like relatively indifferent, but after a band's playing, I was like, you know what, Dave? I respect you. I appreciate you and respect you. Not like I didn't respect him before, but you know what I mean. It was like, it was pretty cool. It gave you a new perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You can come with me and Bethany to the next time we go see the David Matthews band performance. A really spiritual experience. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds good. I love that for us. Number 22, Alicia, what song would you like to hear just before you die? Oh, wait. Can I say what song I want played at my funeral? funeral or do it's different though okay because at your funeral is for other people you can say that one too but this is a very specific question about you what do you want to hear as you're leaving this mortal coil uh what if it's i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell yeah that's that's good i'm not giving you that answer that's a cheat oh what do you want to hear well you don't want you don't actually want to hear matchbox 20 unwell as your last song on the earth no i

I think I want, but there's no way that I could, I feel like, think, like, there's no way, like, there's, I'm so now I'm just like, my head is spinning. Okay, how about. Just kidding, you're going to start crying. Let's do a copy. Yeah, I'm going to start crying. Let's do a couple. Okay, I always have thought for the past, like, two years at my funeral, I want a chumba-wumba tub thumping played.

Right, you get knocked down, but you get up again. Yeah. It's a kind of a reincarnation song. Yeah, yeah. And I'm actually just, can I just use that as right before? where I die, I'm like, yeah, I mean, it's psychotic, it's psychotic and unhinged to want to hear that song. Okay, perfect. Like, it took a whiskey drink, a drink, a drink of vodka drink.

Take a cider drink. What about how this is a good time? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's it. I feel like, okay, what about maybe Angels by Cheryl Crowe? There, that's a better, that's a better answer. You really, honestly, do you really, you don't want to hear top thumping. No, on your last moments on earth.

But I do want to play it at my funeral because I do think that's funny. That's hilarious. It's because you don't have to experience it because then everyone else will light in the mood. That's an excellent funeral song. It's not really a good moment's right before you passed away from this earth. Okay, yeah. I would say maybe Angels by SheroCrow, because that song is so good and it's like kind of greedy and like, yeah. Yeah, and it has like a gravitas to it.

Yeah. Okay. I love that. All right. Number 23, Alicia. What do you think about me? I think that you are the fuck. top podcaster in the world and a badass and just I just think you're the best. I think you're so

talented. I think everybody is so lucky to have you talk about bands and bands playing because it's great and I love it. And I love it not being just like some nerdy dude being like, oh, and I said this and did you know this? It's like it's like humanizing when you do it. It's like yes, I feel like my people out there just like we don't have to do this like whatever. never know it all. You know, like when people are like, oh, you like that band, name three songs. And you're like, okay, well, now I'm going to cry again.

But like, I feel like it is so inclusive and it just like opens the door to so many more people to like be involved. It's not like judgey. It's like a totally kind of like, yeah, inclusive thing that I feel like welcomes all people to music. And I almost always like the band and have a new appreciation for them after I listen to the podcast. I know you know that.

I know I've already told you that. But, and I love using the word babe way too much. It's, it's the best. Clearly the same. Well, okay, suck at Ira Glass. I'll say that much. And thank you. Yeah, I'm here to represent the other mentally ill girlies with vocal fry who love astrology,

who also love guitar rock me. Yeah. We exist. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. It's badass. It's very sweet of you.

I'm a huge fan of yours. Truly, truly lucky for you is, top albums of my year, like in the top three. Yeah, that makes me so happy. Maybe number one. I don't want to pick favorites, but it's way up there. All right. Last question, number 24.

What do you want to plug? Well. Just overwhelmed. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm trying to think of like a cookie that I had recently. That might be worth talking about. A cookie?

Yeah, I did have like the best donut. I was going to plug this donut shop, but I had it. It was in London, so. Okay, there's a solo thing going on where it's going to be a duo in Mountain Goats and then a solo Craig from the hold steady and then a solo me and we're all going to be on the bus together. And it's like a little run that we're doing together that I think will be fun. So, I mean, I guess I'll say that. I love that you're like, I don't know what to plug.

How about the most bandsplain possible pleasing directly? created for the reply guys tour of a lifetime, which is mountain goats hold steady and you. You're like, I didn't really think of anything, but that might be okay. And that's later this year. That's next year. Yeah, that's in January. It's in January, you guys. You can you can use your Google to find out how to buy tickets. And it's probably at bullymusic.com. Is that your website? Yeah. Bulliedemusic.com. Bullie the music.com. Alicia, this has been a real joy and a pleasure. I'm sorry that I stressed you out and made you cry.

Was not my intention. I'm going to go cry as soon as we hang up. I had a wonderful time, me personally. And everybody, go listen to Lucky for you, literally right now. Put it on five times in a row. It'll heal your heart and soul. It is an amazing album. And come back next week for a new episode of 24-question party people.

Thanks for listening to 24-question party people, and thanks to my guest, Alicia Boniano. Bullie's goddamn gorgeous beautiful record is out everywhere now. For tour dates, go to bullythemusic.com. This episode was produced by Chris Sutton and Jesse Miller Gordon with help from Justin Sales. Our gorgeous theme song was composed by Heather Fortune. Special thanks to Michelle Fleischley, Sean Fennessey, Rob Harvilla, and my rewatch of House. Again, for the fourth time. I love you, Dr. Gregory House.

come back every Tuesday for a new episode of 24 question party people on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts 24 question party people