Bandsplain - 24 Question Party People: Maya Hawke

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

On this week’s '24 Question Party People,' Maya Hawke comes by to chat about her upcoming album, 'Chaos Angel.' The discussion also includes the importance of song lyrics, thinking everyone is mad at us, Kris Kristofferson, our love of 'House,' and being drawn to excellence—and we contemplate free will. All that and more on '24 Question Party People.' Host: Yasi SalekGuest: Maya HawkeProducer: Jesse Miller-GordonAudio Producer: Chris SuttonAdditional Production Supervision: Justin SaylesTheme Song: Hether Fortune Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nathan Hubbard, spring has sprung, the birds are chirping, and the pop girls are pop-girling. Oh, and you know what that means, Nora Prenziotti. Every single album is back. This spring is packed with new releases from some of the biggest pop stars in the world, including our girl Taylor Swift, and we'll be covering it all. We'll, of course, break down every angle on the tortured poets department, and we'll also cover new music from Beyonce, Duolipa, Maggie Rogers, Casey Musgraves, and Ariana Grande. It's Pop Girl Spring on every single album.

New episodes starting March 28th. On Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. 24 question party people and party people. Hello and welcome to 24 question party people. I am your host, Yossi Salick. This is a show where I invite an interesting person on for a little talk. I ask the same 23 questions every time, more or less, plus one wildcard. The guest is allowed to skip one question.

Sometimes the questions change a little. it's called free will baby you guys i regret to inform you that i am once again having kiley jenner level realizations i know i know babe i try so hard to keep my brain smooth as hell a slick surface that these kinds of complicated thoughts and fucking unraveling ideas they just simply slip and slide right off babe that's my goal at all times. However, I am failing, because here I am, my lap, full of fucking bullshit that I now have to think about and talk to my therapist about. God bless her. It's all happens for a reason. I think that part of my deep, compelling desire to adopt a dog was actually my subconscious,

sneaky little motherfucker trying to uproot some of these realizations kind of get them, rattle them up to the surface. Oh yeah, I adopted a new puppy. I mentioned this briefly,

maybe another episode, but I just don't feel like I'm making a big deal out of it. Her name is Joey Ramon Sallick, and maybe she does look exactly like Lou. So what, fucking sue me.

Okay, I have a type. My friend Chloe met her and was like, do also all of your ex-boyfriends look exactly the same? and that's a fair question. Anyway, back to my realization. Oh, you thought, you thought I was going to suffer through a realization and not inflicted on you guys as well? You thought, bitch, babe. Why do you think I have this show? Sit down, get comfortable. Okay, so having a puppy, like, you know, you can get a 10-week-old

puppy, maybe, and you just come home and then you're like, oh, here, now I'm a puppy. I have to figure out what the hell to do with it every day is a fucking winding road life is the highway etc um and suddenly the perfectionism that you've clung onto like a life raft in the raging seas of life babe that is a destroyed you have to like ugly paddle through the fucking pee on the ground and swallow sea water and cry and it's a fucking you know it's not nice it's a messy it's definitely not perfect For me, that looked like a lot of things, but like, you know, having frozen pizza for dinner, multiple nights in a row, reuniting with my friend Wine. Hey, wine missed you.

Maybe I started smoking again a little. That's right. Sigs. We're blasting Sigs again. Let me live. My aura sleeps score, babe. It is in the shitter many nights. And also, yeah, I can't work out every day.

I can't do it. All of which is literally absolutely fun. fucking fine. By the way, I know that, okay? But we're talking mental illness love, okay? So after like six or so weeks of this, and of course it gets better every week, right? Sure, I'm on the fucking subreddit, R-dash puppy. It's okay if you want to kill yourself for a long time. It's going to get better. It gets better, bullying, et cetera. Yeah, and sometimes it gets worse. Like last week, this bitch learned out of bark, babe. Cool week for me. Um, but anyway, after a period of time, I had the realization, the kind of general realization, which was, okay, wait, hold on.

What is all this perfectionism for? Right? Like, what is it for? Like, in my case, it was all in some way, like a preparation. Like, okay, I'm going to be the most well-rested, hydrated, fit, stretched, moisturized, meditated, journaled, protein fill, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And for fucking what, babe? for what? Some future thing that is like nebulous that I don't know what it is. I don't understand that

by the way it's also like never happening or coming. It's like I was endlessly prepping for a marathon that I'm never going to run. And literally for what? And at the expense of like living actual fucking life that is literally in front of me right now. Man, that religion sucked, you guys. That sucked. That was a hard one. I don't like it. I'm still untangling it. Because even though like it arrived for me like really salient, right? Like just wrapped in a fucking clarity bow. I still don't totally get it yet. I'll be honest. I'm dumb bitch. I'm having some issues of trouble with it. Like there's still a super sticky like stubborn, latent eating disorder type A raised by immigrant parents, etc. Part of my brain that's like

like, okay, but you do have to be perfect, actually, in order to get that life that you want one day. And you can't have it until you are. So you better keep drinking that electrolyte water and you better keep taking those fucking supplements. You better keep getting sunlight in your asshole or whatever. And I'm like, okay. And that is what is so nefarious, right, about optimization culture. It's not that it's bad to eat healthy and to work out and to be in the sun. and to set your circadian rhythm and to go on walks and eat salmon and blueberries and whatever the fuck, it's that becoming a slave to doing these things. It just like removes the life from your life and you don't even realize it.

And then there you are just like making yourself fit for a long, boring life of nothingness. Like you want to live forever to go to fucking have good sleep scores on your aura ring. every night. And I don't, I don't want that. That's not what I want, actually. So I'm going to continue to untangle this, but thank you to Joey and thank you to Lou for sure, of course, because that was a real first dick slap in the face of you can't be perfect for forcing me out of this long enough to examine it. Did I still have my electrolyte water this morning before I went to the gym and then have a smoothing with supplements in it? I did. Okay. All right. So what? It's progress, not perfection. You see what I'd done there. Anyway, your

subconscious, I think, is full of this shit, right? And it's always trying to tell it to you in your dreams and in your desires and all these other ways if you can listen to it. If you want to, I don't want to, but sometimes it's not up to me. I do think it's God myself working through the subconscious, but that's just me. Anyway, this is getting long. And I know people don't love it when you use the word God, which again, that's your business, babe. I'm really not of mine. My guest today, though, you guys, she gets it for sure. She fucking gets it. Talking to her was incredibly stimulating and fulfilling. She is whipsmart. She's a deep thinker. She's an original. She's just an all-around fucking cool person that honestly I would

absolutely hang out with IRL. We could geek out more about philosophy and spirituality. We could watch Dr. Gregory House together, all sorts of fun things. Her new album, Chaos Angel, is really beautiful, just like deeply emotionally resonant. It's full of thoughtful, super interesting lyrics, which you know I'm a slut for thoughtful, interesting lyrics. And I just really love it. And I love talking to her. Here is my talk with Maya Hawk. You guys, joining me today is the daughter of the man I was legally married to in my mind when I was 16 years.

years old, but also an incredible actress and musician, Maya, Hawk. That was my way of my telling you that, unfortunately, I'm your stepmother. Nobody else knows about this, but I feel like I should have told you to start this off so that we clear the air. That's super stalkery and scary and great. In fairness, it's not actually your dad. It's just one single character. It makes me more mentally ill, but it makes it less creepy for you. No, I think that's, I think that's not as creepy. I think that's more better. Maya Hawk, I'm so excited to have you on.

I just have been listening to your new album. It's so good. Your new album, it's called Chaos Angel is out in May. I've been listening all like morning since I woke up. And it's so fucking good. That's so kind. Thank you so much. Produced by Friend of the Pod,

Christian Lee Hudson, who we love here on Bandsplan and 24 Question Party people, a real angel, a real chaos angel himself, I would say. True, true, true. I guess it was like perfect for the mood and vibe I was in. It's like a beautiful day here in Altadena, California. It rained yesterday, so the sky is clear, but also. One of the songs on the record was recorded in Altadena, right where you are.

Isn't it a cute place? I don't know if you were ever a Gilmore Girls person. Very much so. It was watching Gilmore Girls this morning. Or rather my dog with watching Gilmore Girls. That's my dog's favorite show when we leave the house. Me and your dog also have the same favorite show. It's TV Xanax as far as I'm concerned.

But I used to dream of living in Stars Hollow. I was like, I just want to live in Stars Hollow. I know it's not a real place, but I want to live there. And honestly, Altadina is pretty close to a Star's Hollow energy. That is a crazy thing to say. I mean, have you been to Connecticut? Have I been to Connecticut? That's a really good question.

the answer is no. Well, then I guess if you'd never been to the northeast, like, I could understand why you'd see Eldadena as a Starr's Hollow S-down. Also, I think it is true that Stars Hollow is actually at the Warner Brothers lot or something like that. Yeah, very nearby here, about 30 to 40 minutes. In many ways, my statement is inaccurate and your statement is accurate. But I, so it's a California, Connecticut combo. Well, I guess I mean less climate and perhaps foliage-wise. more just like there's like a little, you know,

general store that has a post office in it that has like cute gifts and there's like an independently owned hardware. It's just like very not. Yes, not corporate. Yeah, it's kind of like local. Although I really wish there was a Starbucks because I'm a Starbucks girly. I don't think Stars Hollow had one of those either. That's okay. I just need to tell you, missing out, babe. Your lyrics. It's really what really gone. me because the music is just really beautiful and it kind of it reminds me a little of did you ever get into the moldy peaches you know not only have i been into them i was been talking about them this week you're you're bringing up a lot of things that are imminently relevant in my life i'm slightly

psychic people have told me this it's it's a kind of a useless one because i don't know that it's happening but it is there's an intuition happening yeah i mean i know that's like kind of an older reference but that i was really into them when i was like yeah i guess probably a little bit younger than you know, it was like 21, 22. I loved it so much. And it really brought me kind of back there. Like, it's just, it's the combination of like the tenderness and beauty of the music and the like sharp wit of the lyrics.

It's just like such a perfect. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, I spend a lot of time. I'm, I'm a lyrics first kind of person or I have been most of my life. I'm kind of exploring other things right now. But I generally have been kind of a.

lyric-obsessed person. So I really appreciate it when people listen and notice them because I learned that a lot of people don't notice lyrics at all. Like the song will wash over them without them catching any of the things that were said and it's more about like the feeling of it and the music and I love those things too. But if the lyrics are bad, I can't even enjoy usually the goodness of the music because it's too distracting to listen to the stupid things people are saying. if it's red hot chili peppers, which I'm just all fully on board and I don't care that the lyrics. I wouldn't say they're stupid. It's just a different level of poetry. Firstborn unicorn.

Ding, dang, ding, dong, ding dong, ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, it's amazing. I think in under the bridge, he says, the city I live in, the city of angel, singular. Yes. Just perfect, gorgeous. Perfect, gorgeous. Are you a big reader? Um, that's always been a complicated question for me. I'm a massive consumer of information. Reading is hard. I'm like, I mean, I've talked about it before, so it's boring, but I'm very dyslexic. And I get really intimidated by words on a page, especially these days, like, so much of what you're expected to read. You're expected to read typed out, like on a computer.

And I can't do that at all. But I have read quite a few books through. like audible and like audio books. And usually my favorite thing to do is like to have the hard copy and the audio and to kind of go on the journey like it with a party of three, you know, the voice, the book and you. And but so I would say I've read a lot, but I haven't sat. I don't really sit and look at the page as much as I wish I did. It's funny because I was like, oh, I bet she's like, I get this sense of like you're such a good

talker. So it's like the out loudness of the words, you know? I don't know, because they sound so good together, which is totally different than writing words. Sometimes words look really good on a page together, but they don't sound as good when you say them out loud. Completely agree. I think that's a huge thing that I like to play with.

It's like, you know, there's always like rhyme structure, but there's also like internal rhyme and like words next to each, like assonance and like words next each other that have the same vowel sound and like words that start with the same letter and don't end the same. And all of those things can have, I think, a similar effect of the satisfaction that we get from rhyme, while kind of surprising your ear by you're not knowing what satisfaction you're going to get. Like, you know, you know you're going to be satisfied, but you're not sure what kind it's going to be. And then that lets you kind of wonder.

I mean, I do it all the time when I listen to music. You know when you're listening to a song and you're following the rhyme structure. And so you know what the next word is going to be. You're like, oh, what it's going to be. And my favorite thing to do when I'm writing is to think about what that word would be that like they think is coming and pick a different one, you know, pick a different one. And be like, yeah, get fucked bitch, you thought, you thought, but guess what? But guess what?

I'm not based. I'm not like other girls. I was one step ahead of you. One step ahead. I will stop fluffing your ego in just one second, but I just have to say, I believe in one God that nobody should trust. Bye. Thank you.

I've heard it. That's from the song Big Idea, you guys. that's just one of the best lyrics I've heard in a long, long time. I really, I really, like, got me. I was like, what did you just? Hold on? Let me just rewind. I really liked it. Thank you so much.

I thank you, first of all, for how detailed your listening has been. And also, like, thanks for noticing things like that. I cannot tell you how much time Christian and I spent on that outro of that song, a big idea. Yeah, yeah. Like, we might have gone absolutely insane. Like the amount of versions of that like ending that we had were so plentiful. So I'm really glad that you like.

It's the final draft. Where you landed is pretty good by me if my opinion counts or anything. It does. It certainly counts here on your podcast. That's true. Actually, all that counts here is my opinion, babe. This is Yossie Town. Exactly.

Okay. Shall we start the party? Shall we get started with the 24 question? I don't know if you are familiar, but I asked, yeah, I asked the same 24 questions every time one is a wild card. You're allowed to skip one if you want to. Great, love it. Okay.

First question, Maya Hawk. What is your sign? Astrologically speaking? So I've recently learned that this might have changed. That like the stars are in actually a different position. Oh, I don't buy it. I don't buy into that. Okay, right.

Then I'm like cancer with a Scorpio Rising and a Capricorn moon. Oh, what a great big three. Thanks. I feel like the Scorpio balances out the cancer a little bit because like the home body in me is balanced by that like kind of crazy, ambitious energy thing. Totally. Totally. And then the Capricorn makes us all get something done. That's my theory. Well, you've put out three albums in four years. So clearly you have Capricorn in your chart. Also, I hear that you're also an actress and doing millions of projects. So probably you're like a little bit busy all the time. but that's a lot of water so a very fluid go with the flow kind of person because cancer and Scorpio are both water signs

very watery very watery yeah very watery do you do you feel like an intuitive person like a lightly psychic because cancers tend to be lightly psychic I can't tell I feel like I know how people are feeling empathetic and I'm right a lot of the time

but I'm sometimes wrong sometimes I fall into like an ego spell of thinking that I've upset people when I haven't. Are you mad at me syndrome? Sure. Yeah. And like I say ego because I think that even though that's like, are you sure you're not mad at me? Doesn't sound egoy. But I think it is. It's all like it's me directed, right? Like I'm impacting your day. I'm, it's all my fault when you have a bad day. It's on me.

And so I, so my, sometimes my intuition, I think gets fogged up in my insecurity. Yeah. But, but I think I have some good intuition. And I definitely believe in intuition, whether or not mine is good or not. I don't know, but like, I believe in gut feelings. And like, especially when it comes to, like, work and collaborators and projects you shouldn't, shouldn't do. Like, I feel like your body tells you and gives you energy when you're going in the right direction, like, that it, which doesn't mean the thing shouldn't be hard, but that you should

at least have the space to, you should at least have the instinct that you want to do the hard thing is kind of something I abide by. No, I think that's so true. You're very self-aware. I think intuition, I think some people innately have more access to it, but everyone has it. It's just like a muscle that you have to strengthen by like learning how it feels. I always try to go by the rule that like if something feels really urgent, that's not

your intuition. Because your intuition's never urgent. It's not loud. It's always kind of like a calm sureness that doesn't like, like, you know, make you feel like, oh my God, have to do this. I have to. Or like, are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? Like, that's like the kind of urgent, chaotic energy. It's usually not intuitive. I completely agree. But I also always think everyone's mad at me. And you're so right. It is egoic. And I have to, I have to stop. Because also, if someone's mad at you, they can tell you. And if they

didn't tell you, then that's it, bitch. We're moving on. Exactly. Then what then is it your problem? Because it sounds like it's not your problem. If they're not telling you, then they don't want you to know. So one foot in front of the other. Yeah. All right, Maya Hawk, number two. It is about what, four p.m.ish where you are? Exactly. 4.20 almost. What have you eaten today? I've had, oh, it's so lame. I've had like three cups of coffee. I've had a smoothie with some vanilla collagen and some like kale and parsley and blueberries and banana. And I've had one piece of avocado toast on regular bread and one piece of avocado toast on gluten. free bread because I ran out of bread.

And that is all I've eaten today so far. I mean, that seems, that's like a hearty amount of food. Like, what was the liquid in the smoothie? What, what was the binding agent? Oat milk. Okay, Maya Hawke, am I allowed as an elder to give you just a scotch of advice? Do not drink oat milk. It is so gross.

People don't know this. They're misled into believing that oat milk is good for you. Here's the thing I often talk about this podcast, which is actually a miracle that anyone listens to this show because they come here to like hear a cool person talking about music. And then next thing they know I'm talking about oat milk and raw milk for 20 minutes. But oat milk has like an extremely high glycemic index. It's like the same as having like a bunch of french fries spikes your blood sugar. It's also made with like some like kind of suss oils.

Almost any other milk is better the best in my opinion, raw dairy, but also anything but also anything but oat milk. What on earth is raw dairy? So it's unpasteurized. Where do you get that in the U.S.? illegally on the black market? Well, it depends. California, babe, we're progressive. It is absolutely legal here. You can buy it at sprouts. You can buy it at Arrowwon, of course. New York, you have to, it's legal, but you can't buy it at a store. You have to buy it directly from a farm. Some states it's illegal. So it's really just, it's state by state. Okay. It should just be legal everywhere because it's like a thousand times better for you than like a box of lucky terms, which is apparently legal everywhere. But it's so good. I thought I was lactose intolerant, babe. Years, for years. And then I got on the raw milk train, life changing.

I've been changing the milks all the time. I really believe in, like, drinking cow's milk for myself. It's only when I, it's all, like, it's only when I kind of eat a lot of ice cream or cheese that I ever feel bad. And only in America where we pasteurize all of our cows done. Raw cheese is actually really easy to get, like, whole foods in normal places. They just carry, even in New York. But it's, it's the, anyways, not to harp on my raw milk soapbox. Well, that's a gorgeous amount of meal.

Three cups of coffee, huh? Are we taking a little Elfianine with our coffee to sort of get the edge on? I have no idea what you're talking about. You know why? It's because you're just a vibrant young 25-year-old with your whole life ahead of you. And you're not bogged down as I am at 41 with my own mortality and like a litany of supplements. I don't even know if that's true. I mean, I was talking about my mortality last night.

I like take glutasion every day. That's right. Very good. Amazing. Like, you know, talk to me when I've got a cold. And like, we are, we've got like seven different remedies. We've got Lomacium isolate out here. We've got like, like, end of cold care. We've got some different Chinese herbs. I mean, I'm with you on the whack-and-oosal stuff.

I just don't happen to know what that thing is that takes the end of coffee. But usually I don't drink five cups of coffee or three cups of coffee. I usually drink like two. but today I just have had it I didn't go to work today so I've had it kind of lazy Friday of just kind of continuing to sip at the pot that I made this morning

so yeah you're like I need to do an interview so I need to get cracked out exactly before I come I love that it's a TGIO for you okay number three Maya Hawk have you listened to music today and if so what was it? It's a really good question

I was reading today my brother's short film that he wrote and in it it features a needle drop by Selena Gomez, and it's Selena Gomez is Who Says? And so I listened to Who Says? I've also listened to this podcast on the Aztec Empire. And I've also re-listened to like the 500th time this week

to that Alex G song runner. I was really late to the Alex G game, but that song is fucking good. Me too, really late. but I'm in it now and I'm, I don't know, I'm feeling really inspired by it these days. So good. For three years, I was like, Alex G, that has nothing to do with me. For whatever reason, arbitrarily.

It just made a decision that like, that has nothing to do with me. I don't need to know about that. Stop talking about that. I'm not, and I'm never going to listen. And then I did. Then I was like, my bad. That was really good. Yeah.

Yeah. It's interesting how sometimes we like resist things. Like I resisted Harry Potter for so long as a kid. Like when all my friends were reading it and everything. And I was like, nah. I like his dark materials. Now, I like the Spider-Romanicals. And then I didn't get to Harry Potter until I was in high school.

And then I was like a puddle on the floor loving it so much. I've never read the books because by the time they came out, I was in college. And I think I tried to read the first book. But I was just like at the exact right, like, cunty college age that I was like, this is a children's book. And I'm reading Somerset mom. But I love the movies. I've watched all the movies multiple times. Very good.

It really gets me. They're so good. Tell me a little bit more about this Aztec history podcast. The whole podcast is called Fall of Civilizations podcast. And this guy, Paul Cooper, takes you through all the different ones. So we've got like the China's Han Dynasty, the Byzantine, the Inca, it takes you through all of them. I'm just on the, I'm only halfway through the Aztecs. Like each episode is like two to four hours.

And it's my new. obsession. Love to learn. Is he funny? No. Is the Aztec Empire funny? I could make it funny. Someone could, his point is not to be funny. It's shocking. It's shocking, even grossing. Like, it's like, it's a little Ken Bernsey.

It's like, it's, but it really sucks you in and it kind of feels like Game of Thrones. Interesting. It's more of a dramatization than it is a comedifying. Oh yeah, yeah, sure. Okay. So it's more dramatic than it is funny. But mostly it's just like incredible facts. Like, Did you know that Mexico City was built on the site of an Aztec empire that was in the, like a town in the center of a of a lake that they built and they had like marsh gardens surrounding it that was like inside the lake? I just, I don't know, things that are incredible that I didn't know that I'm so glad I know now.

Wow, I love that. I might have to take it under it. But I'm already like the most annoying person at a party because my job is basically doing that for different bands, like doing the history of different bands. like doing the history of different bands. I'm already the person of the party. It's like, hey, did you know that actually the first grunge album came out in 1981 and it was by Green River and not Baba? So I already like can't have friends.

Do you know what I mean? But imagine, imagine how surprised your friends would be. If you were like, did you know that the Byzantine Empire? Right. They'd be like, oh, something new and annoying from Yossi in a different genre. Actually, I'm really interested. I'm going to check it out. Okay.

My Hawk. Number four. What is the first song that made a meaningful impact on you as a child? There's a bunch of options. I grew up around a lot of folk music and like traditional American country music. And the song I'm thinking of right now that just came into my head was like one of the first times I feel like I liked a song that felt really adult. I helped me make it through the night. Do you know that song?

Take the ribbon from your hair. Shake it loose. Let it fall. It's a Chris Christopherson song. And that's one of the first songs I was like, I want to hear the take the ribbon song. I got to listen to it. I was raised by immigrants,

so we didn't listen to a lot of folk music around the house. My education on American folk music is like kind of woefully bad. So I'm interested to listen to that one. I do find that a lot of people answer this question with folk. music. I think both because it's like a parent thing to play around the house. And also I think it's kind of like resonant for children. I think that's true. I mean, I also, I recently saw Lucinda Williams in concert this week. Amazing. And she's promoting her book. And she just was an incredible. It was an incredible show. Her voice sounded as good as it ever has. And, um, and she played

freight train by Elizabeth Cotton. And we all, like anyone who learns to play guitar, I mean, I think in like at least in my, I don't know what they're learning now, the little kids, but what we learned was Freight Train. And it actually just made me feel so moved to find that Lucinda learned guitar playing Freight Train, just like I did. Totally.

And just like so many of my friends did, and that, like, that song by Elizabeth Cotton who, like, wrote songs in her teens and early, and then, like, didn't touch a guitar for 50 years. I mean, I'm making up these numbers, but, like, didn't touch a guitar for a long time. and then learned it, like, and then re-learned all of her songs

and recorded something like, I'm just kind of, and then that, like, that is the origin point of, and Lucinda played it to be like, this is where I took my shit. Like, you know, I want to honor, I want to honor how I got here. And it's just like, wow, we all got here because of her. And like, we're all making these music

and playing with these same chords and this like same vibe. And it's just such, it's like tapping into this old music and this old tradition. and I like thinking about the history of even as we're all like changing the medium and reforming it and end as it goes in and out of popularity. You know, it's like when folk music had a huge renaissance in the 60s and 70s and like maybe it's having another one now with like Boy Genius and Phoebe. It must feel really good to feel like you're part of the lineage.

I think that people, human beings really want community. Sure, 100%. And your community can be cultural, and it can be professional, and it can be creative and it can be artistic. You can find what you want to base your identity in and around. But we all feel really good when we have something that feels bigger than us to root ourselves in. I think that's really astute. I had a theory that churches were going to come back in a really big way. I have not been proven right yet.

I think that too. Because exactly what you're saying. I think we've become so divorced from any sort of like real life community because of just the way life has gone, the internet, all this like fracturing of things. And that's one of the last places where like people come together without a lot of restrictions in a way.

And I was thinking it would come back. But maybe we're just not there yet. No, I think some kind of spirituality is on its way back. I mean, like, the Gen X rejected spirituality in a really intense way. And so we kind of inherited that, I think, like Gen Z and millennials. But I do think that there is a vacancy to our inner life in a time in which the world is in such strife and chaos and pain. And I think a lot of people are going to start reaching to the idea that there is something larger, even just for comfort. It's such a cheesy thing to reference, but like every college boy kind of would make this reference.

But you know this is water, the David Foster Wallace thing. I do, yeah. Part of my theory about why it's coming back is because of something he says in that thing where he's like, it's a human instinct to worship something. Totally. You have to worship something and actually worshiping, as much as we blame religion for a lot of world crises, rightfully, you also, if you aren't worshipping a god of some kind, hopefully a benevolent god, you're going to worship youth or beauty or money or success or power.

And those things actually will kick you in the teeth and way harder. I think you're exactly right. I think Gen X rejected religion. Yeah. They were sort of still like messing around with spirituality. Gen X was definitely like when it was like world religion started to come in to being cool, like Buddhism, prayer flags. But I think now people have conflated.

it at all. And so like, even like if I say God, people get uncomfortable. It's so crazy. Like, and I'm like, but you don't even know what I'm talking about. Like it just, I think it just triggers in people the idea of religion, which in their mind is restrictive or like, like you said, like cause strife or, you know, has all these like sort of punitive things. But that's not the same as God. It's not the same thing. I mean, I've thought about that a lot. There's a lot of gods and angels in my record. Yeah. I noticed. And I wonder. how people will react to it. I wonder if it will itch anyone badly

as having kind of a religious connection. I finalized a lot of this album when I was working on this movie called Wildcat this year about Flannery O'Connor, who was a really devout Catholic. And so I was feeling really reconnected

to the sense of something larger than me. And she has this amazing line about fighting with her guardian angel. And that's kind of became a root of the spark of this record. It's like, what does it mean to be at war with your guardian angel? And what does it mean to humanize your guardian angel? And that's kind of what I tried to do with this record is like, I tried to humanize my guardian angel and like turn her

into a character as flawed and complicated and weird as I am. I love that. I really love that. You're really tapping into many of my most delighted parts of my brain. I love Flannery O'Connor. This idea that when you worship something, you could never question it or you could never be angry with it. Like, I cannot stop talking about this. I'm so sorry. But I adopted a dog and she got really sick within like a couple of weeks.

She was a puppy and she had to be put down like six weeks, basically. Oh! I know it was really rough. I won't cry. but I was angry. I was angry. You know, like, I spent a lot of time being, like, angry, as you say, like, my guardian angel or whatever, my God, whatever, being like, but for what? You know, it's a process that, like, that's how you forge faith is this sort of back and forth.

And you come back to yourself and you come back to this place of, like, trust and, like, belief, which is, like, that's what faith is, you know? And there are so many religions. I mean, I know that Judaism has built within it a questioning. That is actually a part of how you are faithful is in the act of questioning. And I think those are the best ones. Right. You know, ones that aren't just like a brainwashing tool, but are a tool with which to help you move through life.

And a part of that support is actually giving you permission to doubt that there is any meaning. Totally. Yeah, I do hope, I hope to your point that it's starting. to like spring up in more places because I think right now it seems like younger people and all people are like really into like spirituality in a really materialistic way. Like I see, I don't know what your TikTok I'll go is like, babe, but mine is a lot of manifestation girlies. We're like, you can have whatever you want, babe. Put a cinnamon on a quarter, blow it into your house and you'll make money. And I'm like, okay, but like great, money is awesome. But like there's got to be more

to spirituality than, you know, blowing a little sentiment into your house and hoping that money comes. Yeah, I've always been interesting in a thing about like money and spirituality and like, you know, I don't know how many times you've gone to see like a psychic. Many, many times I'm a lost, lost soul. You're going to talk to you about the money you're going to make? Part of me feels like that does not exist on the spiritual plane. Like, I don't believe that like some people are spiritually luckier and therefore make more money. Like, money feels like a very materialistic.

capitalistic, like rigged system that benefits some people and doesn't benefit others and has nothing to do with like the magical forces of the universe. And I, some, it always rings wrong to me when a SIP is like, oh, this year very financially beneficial for you. I was like, you're not a psychic. You're just trying to tell me things that you think are going to make me feel good about this session. And like, I don't actually want to hear about that. I think we're material beings who live on a material plane. So we have material concerns even within our things. Yeah. But yeah, I agree with you. But I think that whatever God exists is not a material being who has material concerns and who's like worrying about like how much money I'm going to make next year. Like no.

No. And I think abundance is it's sort of neutral. It can go either way. Like you can be extremely financially abundant and it can be bad and you can have not a lot of money and it can still be okay. Like of course, I'm not, you know, so naive as to know that within a spectrum, of course. Like with your needs being met. Yes. Yeah, I went to a psychic once and she She was like, yes, there is a man

Who's dying to meet you. He is a doctor But there's a curse on you And for a mere $7,000 I can lift that curse So she mistakenly thought that my dream of dreams Was to marry a doctor And so surely I would fork over $7,000 So this mysterious curse She might be right, I'm single still

and I should have just paid that $7,000. In the long run, it would have been a good investment. It'd be really funny if you bought like a $7,000 couch or something. And like somehow like that couch was the lifting of the, like all you actually, all you have to do is spend $7,000. And then all of a sudden like when you're buying the couch, you're going to meet the doctor. I've spent $7,000 since then many, many times. On one singular item though?

my infrared sauna was $7,000. That was just recently. So maybe that just lifted the curse. Maybe I just have to, you're so right. Maybe you're going to meet the doctor soon. Did you know, you could just put an infrared son on a credit card? Amazing. That's not really in the spiritual plane either, but I do enjoy it.

Oh, I love sonnas and cold plunges. Nothing, nothing better than looking at TikTok inside my infrared sauna. It's really my spiritual practice. 24-0-1. Number five. what is the first album you bought with your own money or shoplifted with your own two hands? Wow, that's an interesting question,

especially for someone who grew up with the Apple store. I always forget that it's not a great question for anyone under the age of like 38 because it wasn't, it's not a common practice to buy albums. No, it's not. I mean, I did, like, I more remember going to the, I would rent DVDs, but I don't know that I bought a lot of albums. I had a really hard time sleeping as a kid

and I had like a sound machine. Yeah. It would play like the ocean or crickets, but also you could put CDs in it. And I had in, I had the Beatles, I had a collection of Beatles records. Nice. And I had, randomly for some reason,

I do not understand, but I still love this album, that India Airy record. Oh, great, right there. You have to tell the done with your video. Or it's not determined by the press of my soul. But those were more like mysteriously acquired. Sure.

I feel like one of the first things I bought on iTunes, and I've said this a lot before, because this really was, like, my early obsession was Hannah Montana meets Miley Cyrus. Yes. The two-part record where half of it she's in the brown hair and half of it she's in the blonde hair. I also saw this album in concert.

It has, like, east of Northumberland High and, like, all those songs on it. So it might be that. Really, I mostly bought records on iTunes and, like, bought a lot of them. I love bright eyes. I love Fiona Apple. Those were, like, my teen-year obsessions.

Wow, those are good. I've never gotten into Fridays. Me and Chloe talk about this. It's not too late for me. It could happen. I was just a little bit old, but Fiona Apple was my bitch, babe. She really spoke to my tender, broken teenage self. Okay. Number six, Maya Hawk. Did anyone in your child ever tell you you're never going to make it or something like that? And if so, what did you say back? I have to assume the answer is no, but please, I don't want to put words in your mouth. It's interesting that you would assume that. I guess, yeah, you know what? That's my ego. That's my projection of not having like artistically minded parents who didn't let me do any arts. So I'm simply literally, that's like egoic projection. That's why I'm like, oh, shoot, she must have had these parents that were like, yes,

encouraging, please do art. There wasn't a lot of conversations about making it. There were a lot of conversations about whether or not that was a good life choice. Right. Like whether or not working in the arts was a good career that led to a good life. Like in the terms that it would make you happy. Yes. Right. Okay. Yes. There were a lot of conversations about the idea that it wouldn't make me happy. Yeah. That makes sense.

There would be like, because there's no routine, like, and there's no structure, and you're always unemployed, and you always have to travel, and it doesn't lead to particularly healthy relationships or a home life. And so there were a lot of conversations about getting real about what the life is really like. Like, yes, you love going to school and doing school plays. that's not what the life of an actor is like. Right. Like you live in the same house and you have a structure and a stability while you do that. It's completely different when it's like your job isn't at all. Yeah. And when the school play's not happening, you get to go to English class and like all your same friends are always there. And like really the life of an actor has very little community. And so there was a lot of that. There was never anything like you're untalented and like that's not a real profession.

And like, you know, there was not that. You're right about that. But let me ask you, were there other, like, jobs or careers that you considered while you were growing up? I am still considering becoming a teacher. I've always considered that and I'm still consider it. What level are we talking, like elementary school, high school type or like a college professor? Dream high school acting teacher. Wow. Mine made a huge impact on my life.

I would also, I think, like, I would also love to. do like classes at an acting school for a lot more college level students, but dream is like high school acting because people are really in need in that period of time

of like an outlet for their own emotional development. Especially like and a place to be free and to experiment and where you get to be weird and where anything is okay. So that, I thought about that a lot.

I thought about wanting to be an English teacher when I was younger and I, when I was really young, I just wanted to be a farmer or a vet. I was like, I believe that my power to speak to animals was just right around the corner and about to kick in. Totally. And that like I was the animal. I, like, I, what was that little cartoon with the short, the Thornburgs?

There's a cartoon where there's a girl with curly red hair and she can talk to animals. And I thought I was like her. Thornberries. The Thornberries. Is that right? Yes. Why do I know this? Never seen it.

We just know things. We know things. So those were things I consider. but I always I was always doing the arts As much as I considered doing other things The primary thing that I was actively doing What without being asked was like

School plays, writing songs, practicing guitar Like reading plays, going to plays, seeing movies Like that was It's what you're innately drawn to, yeah Wow, that's really cool You know drama, high school drama teacher Is like a gorgeous third act Like what a perfect

I always think about third act job and I feel like mine would be a therapist because that's also a gorgeous third act thing. But like what a beautiful, like, you're done with the fucking limelight, baby. You're like, Tinsletown, I'm fucking over it. I'm retiring to Stars Hollow, Connecticut. And I'm going to teach the drama program

at a little high school there and just have a little cottage and a bunch of animals. Maybe someday I'll be an acting major and you can be my therapist. Perfect. Oh my God, I love this journey for us. And you can send your kid that you've had with your doctor husband to my acting class.

Yes. And my cow will have raw milk. which you'll come talk to the cow to make sure that the milk is good. Yes. Because in this third act, you're also still talking to animals. Yes, and you have cows. And I have cows, of course, I'm going to need to get my rights. Legal in Connecticut, I'm going to have to manufacture my own.

Yeah. Okay. Number seven, Maya Hawk. When was the last time you lied? Oh, what a complicated question. I know. I'm sorry. These get harder and harder.

No, no, no, I like it. I feel like I've been doing better about not lying in my personal life. I used to be quite bad at that, about that, actually. I used to have a thing where I, like, lie on instinct sometimes about things that I didn't need to lie about. Like, where I'd be like, no, I totally went to the gym today. Yeah, super productive day. Like, and like, I didn't. And no one cares.

Why did I say that I did? Like, what was the point of- Absolutely relate to this. Absolutely relate to this. But I've been working on that really hard. And so I feel like the biggest lies I've told have been, like, in vaguely public situations. Where I'm like interacting with somebody that I don't like. And I'm pretending that I do like that.

Yeah, that's fine. Social lubrication lies are acceptable under the eyes of God as far as I'm concerned. Like someone's telling you about like some crazy shit they're doing. And I'm like, oh, that sounds fun. Like instead of being like, are you okay? Like, do you need help? You know, you can't be like sociopathic. I just watched a great episode of one of my favorite TV shows, House.

Oh. Best, best. I know. I'm on my like 7.3 watch. Clearly it's like cry for help. I'm also like in the bad season. Not bad, but you know what I mean? The seasons where it like starts to really jump the shark.

Oh, I'm on my seventh rewash of that. I'm rewatching Grey's Anatomy. I'm the biggest Grey's Anatomy head. Don't even fucking get me started. Do not even get me fucking started. I know. We can talk about the whole thing. I think I've probably seen all like 825 seasons like three times.

Like I'm caught up. I'm up to date. I am all the fuck the way up to date. Bated breath waited. Like what's going to happen? I don't know anyone else who's like that up to date. No, I'm so up to day. Actually, recently, oh, my God, I don't remember the character's name, but I did like a Q&A at the Great

Museum with Blanchel. And remember Amelia's partner that, like, she ran the lab with? Yes. So, ERA Fightmaster is their real name. But they came to that and they came back to meet Sabrina. And Sabrina also a huge gray's head, just so, you know, she just started her journey. So she's not caught up so she didn't actually know who this was. I was losing my goddamn shit, babe.

I was like, oh! Also, do you want to hear an insane story? Am I, you're going to love this. So a long time ago, this has got to be like 15, 12 years ago. I don't remember. But I was at a party at the chateau, and I'm like, this happens to me all the time, and it's so embarrassing.

But I was like, a little drunk, and I'm introduced to someone I'm talking to him. And I was like, no, we've met. And he was like, so nice about it. I'm sure this happens to you. And I was like, no, oh my God, it's killing me. We've met. where did we meet? And he was like, I can't remember. You're so familiar. There's a social lubrication lie. I fucking wake up in the middle of the night at home. And I was like, oh, Dr. Jackson Avery from

Graz Anatomy. We have not met. We have not met. You're my TV friend. You're my TV husband. Oh, my God. I was so humiliated. Yeah. Yeah. I love that show so much. I love that show so much. I have written them through my agents every year since I started working professionally. I need you about it. And saying, can I please? And I write this is my, you know, if anyone's listening, will someone write me a pick I would like to be a patient yes please I need this to happen we all need this to happen please this to happen um why did I bring this up oh because there's an episode of house where there's a patient who one of the side effects of his illness is that he cannot he only tells the truth all the time and it's like oh yeah his wife almost leaves him and I'm just like yeah you can't

yeah yeah yeah yeah I remember this episode I remember this episode it's a great episode can't tell the truth all the time although I have to tell you I'm so relating to what you're saying about lying for no I don't do it. anymore. I've come a long way. It's a thing about not having like the trust in yourself to like come up with just the regular answer for me anyways. I'd be like I need to fill in the answer and like whatever I need to fill in it in the good answer. Amazing. Yeah. I think I've told us on the podcast before, but whatever it bears repeating because it's so psychotic. I got my first ever Brazilian bikini wax at 18 years old. I'm in college babe. I'm ready to be a woman. I go down to the lady. I'm getting my wax leg in the air. And she goes, so do you have. So do you?

have a boyfriend, full panic. I was like, well, surely I can't be getting a Brazilian bikini wax, but I don't have a boyfriend like a fucking whore. So I go, yes, his name is Christopher and he lives in San Francisco. I made him long distance. Why? And then I had to keep up the ruse, the charade for months, because I'd go see her every month. And then she would ask about Christopher and I would have to like come up with new lies. That's amazing. And that's exactly the kind of thing that I would get myself and do. Like lying in an unnecessary situation to an unnecessary person for no reason. Who cares if the bikini waxer thinks I'm a whore? Who care? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Anyways, we've grown. We've both grown. I've also like finally stopped

lying to the doctor. That's a really bad person to lie to. You should absolutely not lie to the doctor. They need to know the truth in order. As we've learned from house, they always lie to him and then complications arise. Everybody lies. Everybody lies. Hi, jings and sue. Okay, that was a fun. That was a fun one. Number eight, Maya, What character in a book or film do you relate to the most and why? Well, my true answer is a little not appropriate because it's like Annie Hall. Why is that not appropriate? Well, because people don't like Woody anymore.

Yeah, but that has something to do with you relating to the character. I mean, listen, not to be all like separate the artist, but like at some point, it's not like you're like, I relate to Woody Allen's deep psyche. You're just, Annie Hall is a great character. Annie Hall's a great character that weirdo weirdly wrote a lot of great parts for women, who knows. But so I always really related to that character.

I don't know if this is related like I thought she was actually like me or if I just like wanted to be her. But to Lyra from the Golden Compass from the His Dark Materials series. I've not seen it. Can you tell me a little about her? It's a book. I mean I guess there's a movie too

and there's a TV show now too, but she's like awesome. Everyone in this world has like a um their soul it lives outside their body as like an animal and when you're going through puberty it like changes all the time like when you're angry it'll be a musk like an angry muskrat and like if you need to be protected it'll be a crazy lion and then if you're feeling nervous it'll be a weird little chipmunk um and then once you go through puberty it settles into one animal and she's got to save the world she has like a complicated relationship to her parents she is uh you know, like venturing through the universe and has like, her mom wants to separate her from her soul.

Of course, I don't relate to at all. And, but like the outside pressures of society want to separate her from her soul. And she has to fight to, like, save her soul and stay connected to her little guy. And so I loved her. I always really related to Joe March. But then I actually got to play her in a BBC miniseries. and so I kind of have checked check that one off.

Yeah, that's awesome. You're like, well, I did that. I don't know. I really connected people easily. Like, I always connected to Meredith and Grey's Anatomy just to go full circle. So good. I'm a Christina Yang myself, I think,

but absolutely. Meredith is very relatable. Yeah, I wish I was a Christina Yang. I'm just not. Well, I'm lying to myself. I'm not a Christine Yang. Either nobody is. She's, I think she represents a part of us

that we wish we were. Meredith is the most like, you know actual real vulnerable character that you are supposed to relate to. But she's also like so messed up and she's like been through so much and she's so kind of hardened. Dark and twisty. Especially now. Yeah. Dark and twisty. Meredith. Yeah. I think same going back to like the empathic thing. Like I'm kind of in like a state of relation to whatever I'm engaging with.

Yeah. Like even like going back to the horoscope stuff is like if you told me a change and I'm a Gemini, I'd be like I'm a total Gemini. You're so right. It's very cancer of you because cancer's are very empathetic. But no, it probably makes you such a good actress. Like, isn't that, like, sort of a really important facet of acting as to be able to sort of, like, relate to and sympathize with and empathize with the character? Yeah, I think it is a hugely important part. You can't, even if you're playing the bad guy, to you, you're not the bad guy. Right. You're like, what are the motivations here?

I don't know anything about acting on a podcaster. But it does sound really hard. Okay. Number nine, My Hawk. What was your biggest sliding doors moment? As in, if you had made another choice, maybe you wouldn't be here right now. I'm so glad that that reference is not one that your parents were in. That's a Gwyneth Paltrow romantic comedy from the 90s.

I don't know if you've ever seen it. No. So the reference is a little different in the question. The references in the movie, it's a fucking great movie. She misses a train or gets on the train and the timeline split. And so it's like what would have happened. However, this is less of an accidental thing where I'm asking you more like if you had made a different choice. Well, I've recently been getting really into free will.

It's an incredible sentence. And I've been getting really into it and like, because I was fighting with my brother about it a lot because he doesn't believe in free will. Wow. And this writer that I love, Sapolsky, who this incredible book called Behave, just put out a new book called Determined All About Free Will. And so I've been reading that on audio. And so I've been kind of upset by it because I was trying to read an argument for why free will

doesn't exist so that I could prove that it does. Right. And what I've realized is that in many ways, to me, both sides of the argument are actually faith-based, in that like even this writer, he's so brilliant, his argument for the lack of existence of free will is brilliant, but he admits to this thing in the beginning of the book, which is that he's had an instinct that there was no such thing as free will

since he was a little boy, and has been working his whole life to prove that instinct, which to me, in some ways lightly, undermines the whole book. Sorry, Sapolsky, I think you're a genius. Because you're trying to prove your instinct, not like, you know, so, which means that you have an agenda. Right.

But I will say he has effectively really made me doubt my arguments for free will, with the facts inside this book. And I do think you actually can only believe in free will if you believe in the soul. And if you believe that there's some part of you that is you separate from the computer that is your brain. Right. which I generally do believe, but I see this all to play the groundwork of saying, like, I don't know if free will exist

and if my idea of these choices that I've made that I either regret or don't regret were even options, like if I could have ever chosen to do something different. Right. But that's that I've got two. One of them, I won't really say, I once made a chaotic romantic decision, and I wonder what would have happened in my life if I hadn't made it.

But I'm very happy with where I am now in my life in that way. And so I'm not, I have no regrets about it, but I do wonder. And I decided to take the job as Joe March in Little Women for the BBC that resulted in my being, like, unable to return to drama school. Wow. And I wonder where I would be right now if I hadn't taken that job and if I'd gone, finished. Interesting. I always asked this question even though, like, I'm kind of like you don't think that we had a choice. And I also, my grandfather always used to say, don't look back,

you'll fall down. So that's kind of my thing with the thing. Are you a tarot girlie? I've had some miraculous experiments with tarot. I also really feel like they're usually wrong and are sometimes right when like the moment really calls them into like being a lot like I've also had experiences of sitting there and turning tarot cards over for myself and being like, eh, this means nothing. Yeah, yeah. But I've also had some moments of like doing it

and being like, whoa. That means everything. Like recently, I was sitting with my mom and I flipped over some, I flipped over three cards. And we kind of had a bad day. And I flipped over three cards. And like, the card I flipped over in front of her

was the sun. And I flipped over a card in front of me that was the moon. And then there was one other one And it was like, okay, cool, great, fights over. Yeah. We're embodying two different things right now and that's causing. Yeah. I mean, I don't ask because I'm asking if you, like, believe in,

I find them to be like a self-reflection tool, less of like a predictive tool. Yes. Archetypes in the tarot, like there's a really great book that breaks down in really huge detail, specifically the major arcana and what they, what kind of philosophies are, embodied in them. The judgment card has a whole thing about free will, which is essentially that,

like, yes, you have free will, except that it is determined by every other decision you've ever made in your life. So in a way, you no longer have it because you're functioning from a place that is like upon a nest of millions of other decisions you've made. And they all have like consequences and karma that are playing into your future decisions. So like I kind of always like that one, right? Because I'm like, oh yeah, it is kind of yes and no. It's like, sure, but. Yes, exactly.

Okay, I love that. Love that journey we just went on. Number 10. What characteristic are you most drawn to in other people? I think I would be lying if I didn't say talent. Can you tell me why? Because I'm so curious about this. A couple of people have said talent.

And I wonder what the value proposition is for you. Well, the reason that I said it kind of shamefully is that I don't think that that's something that should be that important. But it's what draws me to people because it's really difficult to sustain relationships when people are extremely passionate about something that they're not good at. Like that involves a lying and a hypocrisy. Amen, sis. Amen. Some of us have musician ex-boyfriends is all I'm saying. It involves a hypocrisy in yourself that eventually will be exposed.

I think that if you could be honest with the person about what you think about their work, it would be okay. But I don't know that if you were, that they would want to be with you. And so then there's a, you know, then there's just a kind of an embedded lie inside the relationship that is really difficult. I'm screaming at how much shade is in this answer, even though you're being so lovely about it. like the amount of like, yeah, it's just really hard to be with someone who sucks at something and then you have to tell them it's good. It's really hard.

I know, babe. I've been there. Trust me. And then you try to tell the truth and then they get so angry and you're like, well, what do you want from me? Yeah. And so there's that. And then I think there's also another part of it that's like just how alluring it is when someone is excellent. I mean, especially as Americans, we have such an excellence-based culture.

like we're so, we're so impressed when people are great at things. And we have like, you know, the city on the hill, like uniqueness, talent. So I think probably just brainwashing. I think you're underselling yourself honestly here because I agree. And I think that there's such a huge part of excellence that isn't like a gift, right? Like you can get so far with a gift. But 80% of excellence is striving and like commitment. and discipline.

And I do think even though we have like a society that values excellence above all else, people don't value excellence in themselves of all else, which is why so few people are excellent, you know? And why so many people are lauded for being excellent, it's because they put in the work and the hours

and the discipline and they believe in themselves and they just tried. A lot of people won't even try. So I think it's a totally valuable thing to be drawn to because it says a lot about someone's character beyond just like an accidental gift. you know. Agreed. Agreed. Okay. And humor. Those are the two. Humor is a good one. That's the most

commonly answered to this question. Not for me though, because I deep down know what it is to be a clown and it means that you have some shit inside that you haven't dealt with. Not I. I'm working 10, 11 years of therapy. Number 11, who is the last person you met that you were starstruck by? Is it me? I think I can say it. I got to meet Taylor Swift and I was the most starstruck I've ever been in my life. I couldn't form a sentence together.

She asked me who my favorite musicians were and I said they were all dead, which isn't true. She's my favorite musician. I don't know why I said that. I was trying to be cool. You did one of those lies that we talked about earlier. Yeah. his name is Christopher and he lives in same I was like I don't know

I like dead people I don't know I don't listen to any music I don't know I'm dead you're like podcast about Mayan civilization yeah that's a huge one very larger than life yeah I met her once just one time at Estyheim's birthday party

it got to be 10 years ago she smelled extremely good and she was really nice not that we talked at length or anything because once again I hello thank you nice to meet you but that was a real starstruck moment for me as well. Number 12, Maya Hawk. When was the last time you slid into someone's DMs?

Does not have to be with an amorous bent. You know, kind of recently, I've really been obsessed to this TV show, Gen V. It's the spiritual sequel to the boys. Okay. And I kind of like accidentally slid into everyone's DMs in that entire show to tell them how great I thought the show was. And then I like publicly went on, I was on the maestro red car. carpet. And they asked me what my favorite show was of the year. And I said Gen V. And so then some of them started slipping into my DMs because I'd publicly supported the show. And so I just

accidentally, like, deeply involved myself personally with a moment of intense fandom on my part. I think that's what DM sliding should always be. It should always be like a beautiful declaration of fandom, in my opinion. I agree. I just think like that's what that's made for. My brother keeps trying to get me to watch the boys. I haven't watched yet. But now that you, I see that we have similar TV DNA. Perhaps I will start with the boys and move on to GenVee. Honestly, you can also go in the other order. Because the boys

is a little bit more like dark. Okay. And like a little less Grey's Anatomy-esque. Right. It's like a little more like the steampunk version and GenV is very like, here's a show about college, but also they're superheroes. Which like I love like

I feel like that was wrong with the new, what was wrong with the new Harry Potter movies was that they got rid of the school? It's like, no, we liked the school, guys. Like, it was all about the school. There needs to be, like, a framework of normalcy within which this, um, interesting stuff is that. I agree. Okay, I'll try it out. Gen B. Um, number 13. My Hawk. What is the horniest song ever in your personal opinion? Give me your hot white come by Liz Phair. God, it's so good. I mean, she has a lot of horny songs in the pantheon of horny best songs, but that's a really good one. A little obvious, but I think pretty good. It's, you're the first person to say it. And this is like my like, I don't know, 40th episode or whatever. So I'm not that obvious. All right.

I love her. I just saw her do all of exile in Guyville. And it was one of the best shows in my life. Just an absolute queen. She was the first interview on this show, very first episode. Yeah. Cool. So cool.

Okay. Number 14. What's the biggest money you've ever turned down? A Super Bowl commercial. To star in it or to like your music? No. To be in it. Interesting.

I wouldn't say star. I would say be in. You probably won't tell me what it was for, but will you tell me why you said no? Because it didn't feel right. Just like it was like a brand or a company that you didn't feel comfortable being like publicly associated with. It wasn't that at all. It was that I, it felt greedy. Like in two years when I'm not on this TV show anymore.

Right. And I, and like, let's say I'm starting a family or something. Like, I would say yes. Like it was like need base, you felt you didn't need it. Yeah, I didn't feel like I needed it. And I have this like kind of guiding thing in my head about getting your bus pass and that you don't want to be someone who collects too many bus passes. Like if you have, your bus pass is like a staple of commercial viability.

Like, I am on something that works. I've recently done something that works. I am like, you know, and being on stranger things is like, been an amazing bus pass. I mean, I also love being on the show, but it's also been an incredible industry bus pass where I'm on a show that people watch and like. And I think that people go crazy

when they start trying to collect them, where they're like, oh, well, yeah, I'm on stranger things, but I also need to be in a Super Bowl commercial, and I also need to have, to be in the lead of this new giant, like, big commercial, like, movie that is going to have seven sequels. And I also need, and I also need, and I also need, And it's like I want to try to move through my career being like, okay, cool, I'm good, I'm stable.

I'm financially stable. I'm good. I'm professionally stable. I'm going to try to do things that are weird. I'm going to try to make the art that I believe in the most. I'm going to try to make tons of music and not like kind of sit around collecting checks when you can't. Like not just try to get it while the getting's good, but actually try to accept that the getting was good. and now you need to go give something and do something that you believe in. You're an incredibly mature 25-year-old. I'm like so strong. You're so smart.

You're so grounded. Such a good philosophy. When I was 25, I was literally dating skateboarders who had a mattress on the floor and being drunk all the time. I'm really impressed for you. I think that's a good way to be at 25. It was fine.

Again, as my grandfather said, don't look back. You'll fall down. It shaped the DNA of who I am for better or for worse. And I'm still friends with a lot of those skateboarders, and they now have full bed frames and sometimes had boards even. Wow. It's huge. Okay.

Number 15. Maya Hawk. What's the best live music concert you've ever seen? Hard not to say the Lucinda show I just saw. Hard not to say Erez tour, which I saw twice. Fucking good. Hard not to say Adele when I was nine because I'd never heard anyone who could sing like that. And hard, hard not to say, seeing a magnetic field show at the city winery where Christian was opening and Phoebe got up on stage and did a song with him.

That was one of the best musical nights of my life. God, that's really good. Magnetic Fields are one of my favorite bands of all times. Oh, the songwriting is just outrageous. There is a, um, do you know that Lemony Snicket is in the Magnetic Fields? Yes. Crazy. I did know. Have you ever heard, I just want to give it a shout out because she was just on the show and I think she's also incredibly talented. The song that Mary Timeney did with Stephen Merritt. It's not under magnetic fields. It's called All Dressed Up in Dreams. I think you'd really like it. Okay. I'll check it out. Thank you. He did like a side project, but she's just awesome and then him and it's oh, what a dream. Those are all good ones. Those are all really good ones. The Aeros tour really got me. I cried. Oh, I cried the whole time. Just a 41 year old woman. just weeping at the arrow store. All right.

Number 16, Maya Hawk. When in your life were you the most fucked up wasted hammered trashed? Always as a teenager. Sophomore year of high school. I was pretty much hammered all of my sophomore year. That's quite young. Absolutely not to shame you.

I was also drunk all the time when I was 15. So right here with you, and we turned out fine. It's a time. We're fine. We're fine. Sometimes I think it's good actually because it makes you drink less in your early 20s and stuff when you actually have the power to get even more hammered.

One would think, yeah, for some people. Number 17 and number 18 are tandem questions. What do you love the most about being famous and what do you hate the most about being famous? I love dinner reservations. It's the number one answer to this question. I love that you said it too. Really? It's really, I love it.

That means that it's like a really culturally shared thing about famous people is that they love to be able to just call the restaurant night of and get a table. That's one of the best parts. the other best part is when you get to share things that you're bored of with people who aren't bored of them like if you are going to a fashion show or something and like I'm not saying it's not say that I'm bored of those like I love them but they've lost their like absolute utter sparkle of like oh my God all these people are dressed up and these clothes are so beautiful

and I'm in Paris and they're paying for the hotel when I did that for the first time I was like this is the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm like, okay, cool. Like, I'm going to Milan on Tuesday and like, I'll do that, you know, and getting to bring someone who hasn't had that experience. And like, getting to have them be like, like, yeah, you can order breakfast at the hotel and like, we don't have to pay for it. And people are like, what? My number one favorite thing on with ordering breakfast in the hotel room, number one, best thing in the world. It's the best thing ever. So that, so getting to share some of the glamorous parts with people who haven't experienced them before and reservations,

especially coming through for my friends with reservations. I will be calling restaurants saying that I'm Maya Hawke from now and I hope you don't mind. As you should, that doesn't actually work as well. It's like asking your PR to help you get a reservation. But like, yeah, okay. So and the worst part, the worst part is not knowing whether or not you need to be prepared to have your day ruined. By like a boundaryless person, you mean? Yeah, like I don't want to be the kind of person who doesn't go outside or doesn't go to the grocery store or doesn't.

doesn't like live their life or even go to Disney World or like live their life normally. I want to live my life normally. And 99% of the time, it's totally fine and great. And nobody recognizes me and nobody notices. But sometimes you'll go to Disney World and you weren't prepared. And you will get like a full sort of group of people and who like, and then another group of people notices that a group of people has noticed. And then they don't even know who you are, but they want to get in on that.

Some people think that you're important. and so they're like, oh, I'll just pretend. And then you're kind of in some weird place doing like an autograph line. A meet and greet, yeah. Because I never want to be a security guard person. I never want to be that kind of. I didn't grow up that way. I don't want to be that way.

But every now and then you end up in a situation where it's like, oh, this is a bummer. But really the only time it's ever a bummer is when it's negatively impacting other people in your life. Like, oh, you just wanted to go to dinner and now we're doing a Q&A. And like, that's annoying. And so when I'm alone, I never mind at all. It's just like when I'm impacting someone else's trip to Disney World, but it's a bummer. Sounds like this recently happened at Disney World. What do you presume that people want?

Oh my God. My answer to that last question was so fake. Social media is the worst part. Right. I mean, that is, I was going to say, like, isn't the worst part people telling you to kill yourself on social media? Which is like the most common, the most common. That is the most part because people think that we don't read it. We read usually all of it.

We don't even tell our friends. We tell our friends. We don't read it. We do. we like read the bad shit you're saying about us. We read that you think that we shouldn't exist or that we should or that you want to marry us or that you hate us and want to murder us.

Like we read it and we know and it sucks and it's like it's just like imagine if on your worst day and like most days you don't read it but imagine if on your worst day when you really hate yourself you could pick up a phone and like hear a telecast of horrible things about you. Like imagine having that power, famous people have that power that part sucks.

I'm simply a middling podcaster and I will have my entire day ruined by a comment that is even only perceived to be slightly negative by me. So I absolutely cannot imagine. You said something in an interview that I loved because it's something that sound, it was similar to like a conclusion that I've come to, but it took me a long time, which was if you read the reviews, some of the good are true and some of the bad are true. It's something my dad said. Yeah, it's that if you, If you take the reviews seriously and you read them. And if you read the good, like always some of this is true. And when people are saying bad things about you, some of that is true.

And people saying good things about you, some of that is true. And if you engage with the good parts, then you will be engaging with the bad parts. I think he's so right. Mine was like even further than that where I was like, I got to a really good point after like year two of doing the podcast where like it started to grow and people are a lot of people and there's like a Reddit and whatever where I was like, okay, the bad stuff doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if people don't like it. Who cares? Doesn't matter. And then I finally had to go like one more year to get to the other part, which is, and also the good things don't matter. It also doesn't matter how much good and gassing up people do of you. It's nice. Don't get me wrong. But it the same way it doesn't matter to my actual life and being and work. It's the same as the bad. And then you kind of like transcend. And you're like, what you think about me is none of my business. And I'm as my king David Matthews one said, if you like it, you're right. You're right. right? And if you don't, I'm very sorry. And that's it. That's all there is. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm sorry about the social media and also the trip to Disney World being run. Actually, my big Disney World was great. I just used it as an example of like a place where there

are a lot of people. Autographs feel very 80s to me. So I'm just surprised that anyone still wants one. Like, what are you going to do with that? Actually, my feeling about that is I love autograph. Ask me for my autograph any day. I will sign anything. It's the selfies. That's what I was going to say. Like autographs sound very like vintage and archaic and adorable, but like. And kind of cool. Yeah. Selfies is, that's a whole other beast.

Oh, wait, tiny, funny thing is that also a really funny thing is when you're sick and people want to take pictures with you and you're like, I don't know, I don't want to tell you that I'm sick right now, but I also don't want to hug you because I'm sick. Yeah, I can't want to breathe on you. Yeah. I will say the first time someone asked a day picture with me, I was extremely pleased because I, again, midling podcaster and I'm like, I don't even know what I look like. No, it's great.

It's so flattering. It's an honor. And sometimes I'm really honest. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I would love to take a picture with you. I actually don't have any makeup on and I'm having a really bad breakout. Like, can we not? Because it would be fine if people didn't post them, but people post them. So it's not just like for that person.

It's for like everyone. Well, they're definitely not taking it for their personal collection. They're taking it to be like, guess what I did? Yeah, exactly. Guess who I saw. All right. Number 19, this is the wild card question. The question is not, do you use TikTok, but it informs the question.

Do you use TikTok? No. Do you? But you use Instagram. I do use Instagram. What is your algorithm like of the random shit? What is it serving you? Do you go to the Explorer page?

And if so, like, what's on there? I'm deeply interested in this. I change it a lot on purpose. Okay. Mostly it was all like women's bodies and like diet products and like pop stars and like people I'm like feeding me who people I'm jealous of. And I was like, oh, I'm sick of this. You were like, sir. I wanted to be all dogs.

So I, like, looked at a lot of dog Instagrams and, like, fixed my algorithms that it just fed me, like, cocker spaniels. And that worked for a while. And then I got a dog. And then I was like, oh, I don't want to see these dogs anymore because I want to be contented with my dog. And I don't want to be concerned that there's some cuter dog out there. So now I've trained in my outlet to show me art supplies and, like, people mixing colors.

And I'm really into this right now. It suits you. It's like your ASMR. I'm, yeah. I'm really into watching people, like, mix two colors together and make a new color and like ask me to guess what color it's going to be. And like I'm really, and like sometimes there's three colors and that's really exciting. Or like people teaching you how to paint a hand or I'm like how to like mold some clay into something.

But you don't actually do it. Well, I do love to paint. And so the mixing color stuff like is of use to me. And I like to imagine that I will also take a butterfly and put it in a. like in the crack in my floor and pour some clear goop to make it clean so that I can see the butterfly in the crack of my floor. But I haven't done that yet. We shall see. Right. Can I ask you one more question? This is sort of selfish for me. I want your advice. Yeah. Because of what you said out of the dog. Okay, so I told you my dog passed away.

Yeah. When do you think I should get another dog? Because I did try to foster puppies pretty early and I had a full mental breakdown, like panic attack, like spiral, had to like give them back, couldn't handle it. Is there like, do you think there's just like a thing I'll feel? I haven't answered. I have an adult dog. And don't do it until you meet, not a senior, an adult, over three. And don't do it until you meet the dog that you like its personality. Like when we, we, I recently rescued this dog.

So your dog is an adult dog. that you rescued? Four. Yeah. Four, okay. And went to the Atlantic Humane Society and walked down the hallways, and there was one dog that wasn't barking.

And the people at the shelter were like, she's really nervous. No one wants to take her. We were waiving her adoption fee. And, like, there's a foster to adopt option. And we were like, really nervous, huh? Like, she's not barking. And we went in to say hi to her,

and she came and said hi to us. And then we went and met her, and they were like, we've never seen her react this way. And we were like, okay, this is our dog. This is your dog. And so we're like, okay, well, we're still in the foster period. So, like, I, you know, who knows, maybe when this airs, she won't be my dog anymore.

But we're thinking that we're going to commit. And we're fostering her. And it was like, oh, this isn't my dog. Like, all puppies are cute. Like, they're always cute. They're always hard to take care of. They're always hard to handle, like, what you need after an emotional puppy dog thing that happened is you need to make an emotional connection with a dog.

and you likely won't make a real one with a puppy in the same way that like, you know, you won't make a real emotional connection with a baby unless it's your baby. Because it's like, it's just a baby. Like it can't tell you what it likes or doesn't like. Also, it's less of a time commitment. It's less difficult. Yeah. And like the emotional labor that you're going to go through through adopting a young puppy

that you then have to like wake up in the middle of the night for and it's not your puppy that you had before is like that's going to break your heart. adopt an adult dog and have a human relationship with it and be like, I see you as a person that has had a life before me. And you'll also feel like deeply emotionally vindicated by the fact that you rescued this dog that like wasn't going to get rescued. Totally. I love this. I mean, my puppy was seven months old. So he she was like- She died parvo? No, they actually never figured out what she had. But she just got worse and worse and couldn't walk. And I had to like carry her from room to room. And she was miserable. And she was, she was a sweet.

Angel and honestly I'm so grateful now that I got to like be there for her and like she didn't die in the shelter. You know like we had six weeks. She didn't she got to be loved in a home instead of dying in like a kill shelter which was what would have happened. But I like this advice. Okay, I'm going to take it. I'm not quite ready yet but you know, I'll keep you posted. Even just like just go and meet them. You might not meet the right one. Exactly. If you're not ready, go walk through the halls. Say hi to some older dogs. I'm like such a bleeding heart though. Like if I go there, I'm coming out with a dog. I'd probably come out with five dogs so I can't leave you here. You have to practice. You have to practice.

I need to go with a person that will like physically restrain me and be like, no, you can't, you can't do that. All right. Home stretch here. Number 20, Maya Hawke, when was the last time you cried? Recently, really recently. I cried like four nights ago. You're a cancer. You're like, I cry all the time. This is not a... I actually don't cry as much as you think I would. I cried because I couldn't figure out why I was upset. and I felt like something in my childhood was being like triggered or and it was about fear of of people thinking I was stupid. Interesting. That's a that's like a core trauma that you have like or a core like I think it's about my dyslexia. Yeah, that's like a core trauma. Like lack of capacity

I think is something I'm like deeply insecure about. Isn't it crazy when you identify your like one of your core wounds and then you can like kind of have enough distance to realize like when it's getting activated all the time and it's always goes back to this like one thing. It's so great. And it's, and it's not real because it's just like a thing that you internalized as a child that is a story that you told yourself. It's good. Yeah. It's good that you're able. Mine is that I'm not as cool as everyone else. Or I'm not right. Something's off with me. I'm wrong. That seems similar to mine. Yeah. It's not about, I was a really good student and that was actually the only thing my parents scared about. So I like got straight A's and all that. So it's not really that. It's like,

but I wasn't like what they wanted me to be. So I wasn't what and I was like a foreign kid. So I wasn't like what I was supposed to be at school either. So I was just like, you know, we live, we learn, we laugh. Where are you from? Iran. My parents are from Iran. But like I grew up as like the Iranian kid in school, you know.

Wow. Crazy. Cool. That's pretty crazy. Okay. Number 21, Maya Hawk. What is your relationship to the Dave Matthews band? Limited.

Limited. You're not, you're not, you haven't gone on the journey yet with the Dave Matthews I'm a lover of things. I'm sure I would be a lover of Dave Matthews. I couldn't, today I could not name a song. Given your music and your taste, I must tell you, I do think that there's much of the music that you would actually strongly love. Just letting you. I think that's true. A lot of people that I love and admire love Dave Matthews. One of my main collaborators, this guy Will Grath, who plays on my record and is also like my best friend. Loves Dave Matthews. Hell yeah, Will. He's in the club. He's in the David Matthews Club. I love it. I'm a huge fan. myself. All right. Number where this is near the end. Number 22, what song would you like to hear just before you die? I had an answer to this the other day. Oh, okay, two songs that I want

played at my funeral, Vincent by Don McLean and, um, my sweet lord. Okay, are these the same though? Because the funeral is what other people will hear. What do you want to hear before you die? The last song you hear before you die. Is it the same answer? My sweet lord. My sweet lord. My sweet lord. That's a really good one. Just like I'll show you out of this. I really want to see. Yeah, it's really good. Oh, my heart. All right. Number 23, Maya Hawk. What do you think about me? Oh, this is my favorite question. I like you. You are quick, thoughtful, a great communicator.

Like, I like the way that you ask questions. I like the way that you're honest about the things that you know and the things that you don't know. I like the way that you support the person that you're speaking to while you're speaking to them and encourage them that their ideas and thoughts are good. I think that makes you really good at your job, and it's really comforting and encouraging. And I like that you are not overly self-deprecating, but self-deprecating. And that also makes a person feel comfortable while being funny and curious. and I like that you share things about yourself, even while you're hypothetically interviewing someone else.

And I also like that you listen and clearly do listen and put pieces together. I would say that those are the primary things I've learned about you in this interaction, but I think you're really cool and very smart. And also, I think probably someone that I would enjoy to know. You seem like we might have a lot of, we have a lot in common,

which either means you're just an incredible communicator who you sort of chops off pieces of yourself based on who you're talking to and presents the pieces that fit that person or that we have a lot in common. It's very astute. First of all, thank you. I'm crying and I am going to use that.

Chris is our editor. I like you to just clip that bit and I'm going to play it in the mornings for myself like as sort of affirmations. I don't often cater to the person. So I do think we have a lot in common. but I just also might be likable. It's possible.

I'm a charismatic and charming person. I know that about myself. It's a weaponization. It's why I do this job. And I really appreciate you seeing me for the other things, though, because I do try to do this job well. I think it's fun for everybody when it's more of a conversation and less of like an interrogation.

I think so too. And as my stepdaughter, I do want you to like me. Of course. I'm glad that. Also, by the way, it seems like a dream job to get to just ask people, what they think about you every time you do this thing. That sounds amazing. It's crazy that they let me do this.

Literally, all I ever want to do is have people tell me what they think about me. And I was actually talking to my friend about this the other day. It drives me insane when I don't know what someone thinks about me. Because it puts me in a situation where it either means that they don't think about me. At all, which is the worst. Indifference is worse. Than I hate you.

Unfathomable. I don't believe you don't think about me. We, like, you know, like, I just, I don't believe you. So you have to think something, which means you have a secret. If I don't know, and you must tell me. Why are you holding it back? Why are you holding back? If you're holding it back, it must be even more delicious.

It drives me insane. I've had a whole relationships based on this issue. And then I eventually realized what they thought about me and get bored. And that's a huge problem. So that's your trying to unravel it the whole time. That's very interesting. Yeah, I love this question. Although I don't think people are ever 100% honest because they're not going to be like,

actually, I think you're kind of annoying. But I'm waiting for that day. Evan Dando did seem kind of mad that I asked this question and he was like, well, I don't know you. And I was like, well, yes, the premise of the question rests upon the little that you know about me. Like, I know that you don't know me. Like, where I'm aware.

But, you know, it's okay. I'm waiting for the day. Someone's like, honestly, I had the worst time. I love that Evan Dando song. This is the town I'm living in. Oh, God. It's so good. This is the ocean.

I think Ben Lee might have written that song for him. I can't remember. Well, a fact of that, if I'm wrong, cut it out. But I love, Evan Dando to me is one of the greatest songwriters of our lifetime, in my humble opinion. That's it. Number 24, Maya Hawk. What do you want to plug? Missing out.

I want to plug my song. My new single off, my new record. So good. You guys, you need to give it a listen. Great. Just like great lyrics, beautiful vibes. Gorgeous time. Thank you.

And Maya Hawk, thank you for joining me on 24-question party people. I've had a really lovely time with you. I've had a fantastic time. Thank you so much for having me. Come back next week for a new episode of 24-question party people. 24-4-4-4-4-4-4. Thanks for listening to 24-question party people, and thanks to my guest, Maya Hawk. Maya's new record, Chaos Angel, is out everywhere May 31st.

For tour dates and more, go to Maya Hawk Music.com. This episode is produced by Jesse Miller-Gordon and Chris Sutton with help from Justin. Our gorgeous theme song was composed by Heather Fortune. Special thanks to Chloe Walsh, Jenna Pell, Sean Fennessey, Rob Harvilla, and Joey Ramon Sauer. Come back every Tuesday for a new episode of 24 Question Party People on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. 24 question party people.