Barbell Shrugged - 151- How to Comeback from a Devastating Injury w/ CrossFit Games Athlete Lindy Barber

Episode Date: November 19, 2014

This week on Barbell Shrugged, we interview CrossFit Games athlete, Grid League athlete, Rush Club middleweight champion, Lindy Barber. Hey, this is Rich Froning. You're listening to Barbell Shrugged. For the video version, go to barbellshrugged.com. Don't blow your mind. Welcome to Barbell Shrugged. I'm Mike Bledsoe here with Doug Larson, Chris Moore, CTP behind the camera. We have traveled to Phoenix, Arizona for the Rush Club event here. Rush Club 002 or 002?

I think it's 002. It's the second time I've done it, right? We are sitting here with the beautiful Lindy Barber. Welcome. Thank you. The middleweight champion of Rush Club. Get your belt. Yeah, do you have your belt?

Like, where is it at? They took it from me. They took your belt. Yeah, they took it already. It's a loaner. It's a loaner. It's just the demo, basically, and then they'll send me the new one.

Yeah, they showed the belt, and I was like, really? And they were like, no, no, no. The actual belt's going to be legit. Will the actual belt be like WWF style, bedazzled with jewels? They said it'll be like an engraved rooster and the whole. Engraved rooster? Yeah.

I'll tell you what, I'm actually a really huge fan of the rooster. I didn't get it at first, but I'm like, man, the rooster's fucking legit. It's a cockfighting rebel. It's a big cock. It's a big cock. It's a big golden cock. Everybody loves that. Yeah, but for the second event big cock. It's a big golden cock. Everybody loves that. Yeah, but for the second event they did, this was a really good time.

It was your first time doing a fight, right? It was. A fitness fight. Everyone thought that I was actually fighting when I was telling them about it, too. No, no, no. It's a fight. We should have handed out boxing gloves. Figuratively speaking.

A duel. It's a duel, yeah. Oh, a duel. Ooh, I like that. Head to head bout. Bout sounded good. I think it's called a match is the official thing, but it's heads up. Yes.

So, like, typically in a functional fitness or a CrossFit Games or Grid League type of scenario, there's teams or there's individuals, and there's, like, ten people going at one time, and not all the eyes are on you. In this case... There's nowhere to hide out there. Yeah. How did that feel? It was,

it was really nerve wracking. I mean, I have done, I've done lots of competitions through functional fitness and I've been at the games and I was in grid league all the season. This wasn't your first rodeo, right? Right.

I've competed in multiple different arenas, but this was totally different to me than all the other ones because exactly what you were saying, it's just you up there. There's nowhere to hide. If you stop, then the whole crowd is going to be like, why are you stopping? Like you need to you up there. There's nowhere to hide. If you stop, then the whole crowd is going to be like, why are you stopping?

You need to keep going. She's still going. And the crowd is like five feet away. When you were doing your front squats, I could almost reach you. You were right next to the crowd. People were pounding on the ground in front of you, and if I would have tripped, the bar would have fallen on them. You were like, I should have dropped the barbell on you. Not only was I trying to protect myself,

but then the entire crowd that's sitting right in front of you, too. So it was totally different to feel like they were on top of you. But it was really cool. I was just more nervous. I mean, more nervous than I've been in probably a year worth of competitions. Just stretch a little bit and do something a little different than the typical CrossFit competition. Yeah. I mean, it challenges you.

And it was very mental today in being able to stay in your game and focus on what you're doing and not get very riled up with the crowds and the lights and the what the other competitor was doing and to stick to your game plan i i had a little hard time with that because she got a lead on me in the beginning and i was like just calm down like don't go crazy this seems like something that'll help you take it to the next level in other competition environments because if you can like stick to your game when it's heads up, most people have a hard time sticking to their game when there's 10 people on the field. Right.

And if you can do it when it's heads up, you can do it under any circumstances. Right. And especially if you're only competing for one and it's winner takes all, and you're able to contain yourself and know your body and know yourself as an athlete well enough to stick to your game plan and to not get super caught up

in what the other person is doing, then when you're in a bigger field and there's not all eyes on you you can still have that same composure and still know yourself well enough as an athlete but you're never going to learn that unless you get into a situation like this or do head-to-head matches so that you know exactly your pace that you need to run and I think that's very important for any elite athlete yeah Talking about seeing where you need to work when you're in a competition. I was talking to Kevin, one of the Masters athletes. We had two Masters athletes.

They went at it hard, dude. Man, they had the toughest water of the night. The old guys had the toughest water of the night. You're right. I was talking to one of the guys and he was like, when I practiced this, the muscle ups gave me no trouble. But that wasn't a fight situation.

On stage, it totally messed him up. Yeah. And he was like, I don't know what happened. I was like, yeah, you feel good. There's enough people there that makes it different. There's some things that feel good in training, but the moment you get on stage, they don't feel good. So there's two aspects to that.

It's like you've got to train. It's like you've almost got like practice to compete yeah and then uh and you know in front of a crowd or heads up or whatever and then also like just you know you might be strong in muscle ups but not strong enough when you start getting stressed out right and there's i mean i've i've learned through my couple years competing that i get very nervous and anxious in the beginning and if i come out in the first 15 seconds and leave it all out there, then you're going to redline so quickly. So it's learning how to like control that adrenaline dump a little bit and use it towards your advantage and stay very calm and relaxed in the beginning

so that you don't have those failures towards the end of the workout. Cause you can come out there and you can crush your first set of muscle ups, but if you know that you have another couple of sets at the end and you're not the best muscle upper, you're going to feel awesome on that first set, but then you're going to die out towards the end so you kind of have to tone it back and know where you need to start at the beginning and then especially if you don't get a really good warm-up that happens and i heard you say earlier i overheard a conversation you stand next to me

talking to somebody saying that you didn't get a you didn't get a heavy barbell or something like that what was the situation right so in our warm-up area back here we all we had was barbells and a rower um so then in my workout in particular we had rope climbs and muscle ups and a lot of extra upper body pulling that we didn't have a whole lot of access to. And the barbell weight that we had out there, the heaviest we got to was one 25 and our front squats here was one 55. So it was like warm up to one 25, but then cool down, get come out and then jump 30 pounds to do 21 reps in it so what's the problem right there's no big deal there so it's that's also i mean in itself not only are you competing but then there's that mental that happens everywhere that's not that's not that's pretty typical competition is never ideal it seems yeah totally and especially my my coach has been helpful in that a little bit is that he'll have me warm up and go through the whole thing and then sit for five or seven minutes because in in competitions, that's typically what happens.

You get your warm up, but then they corral you. All right, now go stand in the stall. And just do some air squats. Pull down and then go as hard as you possibly can. And you're training, you have to build in some chaos. Totally. You have to be unknowable. Michael Phelps, is that the swimmer guy?

I know his coach. Swimmer guy. Is that the guy that's won more gold medals than anybody? Isn't that that jerk who thinks he swims so much better than everybody else. He's like the eighth best country in the world or something like that as far as gold medals are concerned. Yeah, Mike Johnson. The guy's a franchise.

But it's really great that one of the things his coaches did to him is they intentionally threw curveballs at him and intentionally tried to stir him up and get him out of his comfort zone. I think shaking yourself up in competition and training is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Getting in ruts, having everything be comfortable. Playing music you don't like.

Or do anything. Some Garth Brooks. While you're trying to back squat heavy. Especially when you turn into the version of Garth Brooks with the soul patch. What was that? Chris Haynes. Chris Haynes.

That's especially bad. No, but the fight. I love the idea of a fight because it just stretches you enough. It puts you out in an awkward zone enough to where, like, it really spurs you to train a little bit harder, prep for it, and now you have this novel experience. It's going to affect the way you train leading out of here. I mean, you might find yourself wanting to mix up a little bit more.

Yeah. A little bit more of this fighting experience, right? Yeah, for sure. I mean, it definitely challenged me. I was really amped up to do it and when I got contacted to be a part of it, I was like pumped and then the closer it got,

I got like, oh God, this is really just going to be me up there. She was like, oh my God, the barbell shrug guys are going to be there.

I'm so nervous. I don't want to look awkward in front of those guys. I found out you guys are going to be here. They will cast judgments. By the way, we're a non-judgment organization.

I was more worried about you guys than anybody else. So you're one of the very few people that, maybe the only person that's done

CrossFit Games, Grid, and Rush Club. Is that true? I think so. Has anyone else done it? Noah Olsen. Noah Olsen.

Yeah, that's right. He won tonight as well. And he won tonight as well. Yeah, he crushed. You're the two main events. That guy's a monster.

Not a hair on his head got displaced through the whole lot. It never does. Where are you putting that hair? He won tonight as well. And he won tonight as well. He crushed. The two main events. That guy's a monster. Yeah. Not a hair on his head got displaced through the whole walk. Nope, not at all. It never does. Where are you putting that hair? What kind of show you got in there, buddy? This guy's upright and slamming 150-pound medicine balls and everything, and not a hair gets displaced.

I don't understand. Decker hair gel. But I love the attitude of like, you know, I mean, there's something you said about just responding to any challenge, no matter how big and new it is. Like, MPGL stuff, let's do it. Fight club stuff, yeah, sounds fun. Let's go out and have a good time.

Like, responding to the challenge and just doing whatever is required of you seems like a very good quality. The people I see respond well to it are also the people who do well across the board in all these events. Like, it's something about your attitude. I mean, it's fun. Like, all these opportunities come up, and if I get the ability or the invitation to take them,

there's no reason for me to say no to them. I would never just say I am only a CrossFit Games athlete or I am only a grid athlete or I'm only a Rush Club. As long as they are not interfering with each other and they're all helping each other. I mean, doing all three of them is just spreading me even more thin, but making me better as an athlete being able to participate in all three of those different styles of fitness. I think now, too, you're having a good time probably enjoying being able to still compete, right? Even your history. Yeah.

People don't know your history, but we can probably get into it now. Yeah, I'm very lucky to even be doing this. So any time that I have an opportunity to take, I'm more than willing to jump on it and to do it for as long as I can. Do you want to talk about your injury? Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, I mean, because you have a very interesting story. Yeah. It's not just you came here and kicked ass at the fight.

Right. Well, I mean, that's what I hope to keep doing through this. But I started CrossFit in 2011, and I was doing it for a couple months. And then, sorry, I started in the very end of 2010, had done it for two months or so. And then I was three weeks into the open of 2011 and I was in the middle of a back squat and I ended up collapsing at the bottom and my lower back snapped. So I had like, I literally got to the bottom of the back squat and I could feel my hips shift and I collapsed underneath the bar.

So the bar fell on top of me. I like had to roll it off. And then I was down on the ground. I didn't walk for a week. I was in lots and lots of pain and didn't know exactly what was happening so I went to a chiropractor because I felt like my right hip was out of place yeah when I got to the chiropractor he was like let's take an x-ray you've never had a spinal x-ray before so he went and took an x-ray of my entire spine it's like oh my god yeah kind of so he walked back in and I was like just pop me back in I'll be fine and he's like you need to sit like we need to talk about this and then put my x-ray up on the board you give like the brace yourself talk like okay kind of well it's not what you think's wrong turns out

there's lots of things wrong right he was like so the thing is that you have three things happening with your spine you have scoliosis you have spina bifida and you have this thing called spondylolisthesis which is resulting from both the scoliosis and the spina bifida. So it was not like, hey, let me just pop your head back in. You're off the game. It was, you have three spinal diseases that we need to address. We never knew that before. Like what were the hints? Like you had a long athletic career, I'm imagining, where you didn't have signs of spinal disease. Like this became known only at the injury? Only at the injury. So I played soccer my entire life. I had not done a whole lot of actual weightlifting or training.

And then when I started doing CrossFit, my legs were my strongest aspect because of my soccer background. So I squatted and deadlifted more than I did other things because it was the strongest that I had. But then I had a little bit of back pain, but it was also like I've never lifted heavy before. So I didn't know that there was a difference. There's always a little bit of pain, isn't there? There's always a little bit of pain. And everyone, I feel like at some point in their life, has a little bit of back pain, but it was also like, I've never lifted heavy before. So I didn't know that there was a difference. There's always a little bit of pain. And everyone, I feel like at some point in their life has a little bit of back pain. And I was just getting used to being underweight. So I had, I had no idea literally until that moment. And then it snapped and I was like, something is wrong. So then this all led to these three spinal diseases. He told me that I needed to go see a

spinal doctor. I needed to get an MRI. I needed to get more thorough investigation happening. So I went home, had an MRI done, and he said the same things. Like, your spine is curved to the left. You have spina bifida in your L5 vertebrae. And because of those two things, the processes on the back of your vertebrae have split away from the body of the bone.

So my L5 was now in three places. Split's not something you want to refer to your spine. Yeah, so it has a split in it, and then it's shifted. So my L5 was now in three pieces. Split's not something you want to refer to with your spine. Yeah. So it has a split in it, and then it shifted because of the way that my scoliosis is. So it not only split away from the bone, but then the bones themselves twisted. So they had to carefully work with the chiropractor to try to get my hips back in line because everything was a little bit off. But I rested for a total of six months because they were hoping that it would just heal itself. And then, so I did nothing but wore a bone stimulator and took lots of vitamin D and rested and took lots of long walks because I couldn't do anything else.

Do whatever you can do. Do whatever I could do. I was still working in a CrossFit gym over the summer. So I was like watching other people working out and then just sitting there and trying to let my back heal. And then went back after six months, got an MRI had changed so it was still in three pieces the bones themselves had smoothed off but they had not refused back together and then at that point when he was said if it's it's not fused now you've rested for six months we've done everything that you can do you can either have surgery which there's no guarantees that it's going to actually fuse so I said no to that and he said okay well then you'll never be able to squat again like you can't do this it's your to actually fuse. So I said no to that. And he said, okay, well, then you'll never be able to squat again.

Like you can't do this. Your spine is too weak for this. You're going to have to, you know, get away from this weightlifting and go become a runner. And that was, I mean, that was kind of my bet. That'll be healthier. Right. And that was my, I was in exercise science.

I had a degree in exercise science. And at that point I was like, that doesn't make sense. Like I don't understand how being a runner is going to be much more, much better for me than. I can understand saying maybe you shouldn't deadlift heavy. But then, like, turn around and give me advice that you should run. Right. I think it's, like, a really important.

That's a sign of someone that just doesn't have any other answer. They just don't know any better. Yeah, he seems a little clueless. He's got to protect himself, you know. He's got to protect himself and his organization, like, his practice from, like, I've got to give her the safest possible advice because who knows what she's going to go try to do. I got to tell her just to not try anything. Yeah.

I've been told that before. To save himself. I got told the same thing. Like, I think at the standard fair. I think we've all been told to stop lifting weights at some point by a doctor. I got to tell me just to straight up hang it up. Don't do anything anymore. Hang it up, champ.

Like ever. I was like, are you fucking serious? Like, you really just said that to me? Like, don't do any exercise. Hang it up, champ. Like ever. I was like, are you fucking serious? Like you really just said that to me? You don't know me very well, champ. Like don't do any exercise of any kind ever again? Because that's way better for you than nothing at all. I wasn't even broken. I was just like, I got some joint pain.

Like I just kind of wanted to go away. You had to stop doing everything. Don't lift anything heavier than 10 pounds. A bag of flour. That's your heavy duty. One bag of gluten. That's all heavy drink. One bag of gluten. That's all you're allowed to lift these days. Don't eat it or your dick will blow off.

Like South Park. No, but people – injuries – like if you push yourself long enough, injuries happen. And it's a shame. Like if you're the most – like if you're like most people in this world, you get injured, what happens? You go to somebody you think is going to – a doctor. Give you advice, man. You're an orthopedic surgeon. Tell me what I need to do.

And they got to see a lot of people. They're pressured to get a lot of patients in and out every day to meet their quotas. You're coming in. You've got an injury. They're going to tell you, look, man, just don't do what caused the injury. You'll be all fine. Just sit back. Be reserved.

Be overly cautious. And people need to understand, like, you can – there's other – like, you need a second, third, fourth opinion. There's always another option other than maybe surgery. Until you exhaust every possibility, do not undergo the knife. Yeah. Don't let them. And this is coming from a guy who worked for a company that did nothing but. Oh, we did these kind of things.

Like you said, bone stimulator. You said surgical intervention. Like, yeah, I mean, there's a time and place when surgical intervention is probably required. But until it's the absolute last chance you've got to correct an issue, until you have tried yourself to very reasonably reestablish stability in your spine and go after it again,

until you've tried everything, you really can't allow yourself to believe that, oh, yeah, I'm done. I'm not ever going to do anything physically again. You clearly haven't done that. Right. He was kind of like, you can have surgery. Like believe that, oh yeah, I'm done. I'm not ever going to do anything physically good. I clearly haven't done that. Right. He, he was kind of like, you can have surgery, like it's an option, but we're going to try to fuse your spine, but it didn't fuse itself over six months in any way, shape or form. And you have spina bifida. So we could go, yeah, he was like, we can go put screws in it, but then we could take them out two months later because

nothing's happened or your body's going to reject them. And I was like, I'm not going to let you go dig around in there with your fingers crossed, hoping that something happens. Let's take a break real quick. When we come back, we'll talk about how you actually rehabbed that and moved on and ended up being a games athlete, grid athlete, and a rush club athlete. Awesome. Yeah. Sweet. This is Andrea Ager, and you're listening to Barbell Shrug. For the video version, go to barbellshrug.com.

Barbell Shrug is brought to you by you. To learn more about how you can support the show, go to barbellshrug. barbell shrug is brought to you by you to learn more about how you can support the show go to barbell shrug.com and sign up for the newsletter the whole thing and we're back with uh lindy barber uh rush club middleweight champion uh and we're talking about uh you know basically your your comeback from your back injury, your back squatting, your back snapped. Back snappage. You were told not to lift again, but then you came back and now you're a phenomenal CrossFit Games athlete, Rush Club athlete, NPGL athlete. Like, how did you start that journey back? I mean, you spent six months?

Six months doing nothing. Doing nothing, and then they look at it again and go, no progress. Right. So, I mean, where do you go from there? You've got to do nothing harder. Exactly. Do better. So, basically what happened is I left that doctor's office that day with him,

and I asked him more questions like, well, what happens in two years from now? Like, what should I expect to happen? Is it going to get worse? Is it going to break in my L4? So I asked more questions and he basically was saying that it's not, it's not going to like progress up. It's not necessarily something that it's now going to happen to your L4, your L5. He said, it's kind of localized in where it is. But I mean, I could step off a curve wrong and hit and get hit and something could happen. There are no guarantees. There was no guarantees. I couldn't play soccer anymore because if someone hit me from the left at the same time that someone hit me from the right,

that it could hit my spinal cord and I could be paralyzed from my hips down. So he was basically telling me, it's your life. Anything could happen at any time. I'm telling you not to squat and I'm advising you as a doctor not to do these things. But if this is your choice of whatever you want to do in your life. Um, so good luck basically is what he said. So I left there and, you know, thought for a long time about if he's telling me that I could step off a sidewalk wrong or someone just hits me on the side and, and all of a sudden this could all go wrong or I could put in all fairness, like that goes for everybody. We all could just have one false,

something crazy could happen. Stupid shit happens in your, your day, everybody. Right. Like, we all could just have one false, silly... And something crazy could happen. Stupid shit happens in your day, your month, your year, your life changes forever. Like, you could fall off a cliff, land on a Boy Scout fire. Look, crazy shit happens in people's lives. He only says that because we talked to a guy earlier today. That's exactly what fucking happened. Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

He falls off a cliff and has the luck to fall into a Boy Scout home art. So now he becomes a paraplegic, but then he also suffers third degree burns. Sometimes you're going to get curve balls in life, and you've got to be prepared to bounce back. And now you're laughing at him. He's got the best story ever. Oh, Steve. Oh, Steve. You clearly didn't believe. Steve was the shit, dude. He was a great guest on the show. But you clearly didn't believe. Steve was the shit, dude.

He was a great guest on the show. But you clearly didn't believe that you were done. What was your first steps that led you out of this injury towards where you are now? In the beginning, it was very mental for me. So it was just even squatting again or lunging again. So I took my time very slowly getting back into CrossFit. I knew that CrossFit is what I wanted to do. It was what I was starting to fall in love with before this injury happened. And I was starting

to feel strong and I could feel my body feel better and I felt healthier and I didn't want that aspect to stop. So I knew that that's what I wanted to get back into, but I also knew that I needed to be very careful getting back into it. Otherwise I could be straight back into pain or not, but not be walking or be in a walker or wear a brace. So I knew I had to be very slow getting into it. So I took about, I mean, probably four months of really just doing barbell work or just putting a bar on my back and holding it there or just doing some good mornings until I really built that base, what I considered the base strength in my lower back.

So I did lots of good mornings. So you can move right with the minimum amount of load. You won't do anything else. Correct. Yeah, if there was any pain, I never added weight. So I did lots of good mornings, lots of reverse hypers, a lot of just basic planks and very basic core strength to try to build up that core as much as I possibly could before.

I had a back. Before I did anything else. So reverse hypers, they work the best thing. I mean, I don't, everybody I know that's been exposed to reverse hyper. That's also had any type of back.

Anything swears by it. Yeah. So no one's been like i had back problems i tried to reverse hyper and it was shit like everyone everyone's like it's very helpful i've done a lot of them and i've seen a lot of people do a lot of them and anybody who's ever done a lot of them didn't have back problems after they started doing them like there's something definitely to it yeah as a way of and then also like just tons of back raises like i said i to go through a similar injury like where the back is destabilized,

the more you can just strengthen the back and do awesome, awesome exercise with back raises until the cows come home. Reverse hypers, abs, just holding positions against resistance, like bands or any kind of load. Right. One-arm deadlifts, just holding the weight, just staying very close. Re-teaching yourself to stay stable. Did you try the coconut drop on the abs?

No, I've never done that. Should I? Yeah, it's an old kickboxer move. No, I haven't done that one yet. That's the last step in your journey. I'll let you know when it happens. Those are the secret programming tips. Come out and visit me.

We'll do the coconut on the abs training program. Awesome. But it was a lot of very, very basic things getting into it for about four or five months until I even felt mentally comfortable getting underneath the bar. I mean, I didn't actually back squat heavy for probably a year just because putting weight on my back and going through that range of motion just totally freaked me out. It takes time to heal mentally, to be able to accept the challenge.

I feel like I've recovered enough to be able to take this on. I'd be totally lying if I said that every time I back-squatted now, I was totally comfortable with it. It still makes me nervous. There's movements that really hurt my spine, like GHD sit-ups. That extra extension hurts. Overhead squats kind of hurt me. Back squats just more freak me out.

But my front squat, when I'm at max now, is heavier than my back squat just because I have not trained. Is there more of a confidence thing there? I think it's a lot of confidence and that direct spinal loading on my spine. And I have, because of the way

that my spine is, my hips shift and I have a hard time when the load is on my back not allowing that to happen. So when my hips shift to the left side because of the scoliosis

in my back, it's way more painful with that spinal loading as opposed to the back. You're like cognizant to try to keep the hips nice and even. Whereas before, you might not have. I'm sure I wasn't. You were just like, eh, whatever.

I was just like dropping, butt winking, and just standing up. I'm now really nervous when I back squat. I've been talking to you. I'm like, oh, wait. No, I know. People say that they're like, oh, so I should never back squat. I know this girl completely destroyed her back. I've got to be careful.

I know. But it's never, right? So it wasn't CrossFit that did it to me. It wasn't the back squatting that. it was the perfect storm of bad spinal injuries that i didn't know that i already had yeah you didn't know right so if i would have known that beforehand i could have been way more prepared but it was just i mean anything happens any day and that particular day was the day that my spine had had enough and it decided to snap that day but i don't think that i would be the athlete that i am now if that had not happened to me isn't spina bifida something you have from birth usually yeah

so spina bifida you didn't know you had that though no because there's two kinds there's the kind that like you see in baby pictures where it's like growing outside of their back and there's a colta which is what i have which really just means that you have growth plates that go down your spine and the growth plate in my l5 never fused into bone and never ossified into actual bone mass. So it stayed as a growth plate. So if you look at my spine, you will see the growth plate in the L5. And then, so that's where the spina bifida is. And because it was weak there and not actually a bone, it's split down either side of the bone. Creating a fracture point. Yes, exactly. It was just the weakest point of the bone could no longer take it from the

scoliosis and that spina bifida. And that's what ended up snapping. Gotcha. So I didn't know that I had it. I never had an x-ray. I never had any reason to go get an x-ray. I assume you were athletic your whole life. I mean, obviously, what did you do?

Sports in high school and everything. And no signs of stress. No, I played soccer my whole life. And I wasn't a goalie, so I didn't do a whole lot of overhead. The most that I ever had back pain through soccer was through throw-ins. And that's where you extend back and then throw the ball in. But it was never excessive. And I was a center midfielder, so I didn't throw the ball in very often.

So I didn't have a whole lot of pain. That's one of those things, too. If you have this injury from birth, and then you're like, oh, yeah, that's just normal. You don't know the difference. I know a lot of people like that with nutrition, too. They're like, oh, you know, having an upset stomach is normal.

But if you ask them to have an upset stomach, they say no. Because it's just their daily life. So for you, it's a normal to have a little bit

of back pain. It's like, oh yeah, everyone has that, right? Apparently not. And then one day you're like, oh wait,

there's a real problem here. But you don't have that? Your back doesn't feel like that? Maybe you're more tuned in now after having that information. Oh, 100%. Yeah, you're now aware that you? Your back doesn't feel like that? I feel like you're more tuned in now after having my information. Oh, 100%. Yeah, you're now aware that you probably get clear signs when you're pushing things too far. I guess one question I would have is how do you now negotiate, like, for instance,

pushing the squat enough to adapt to it and get stronger without pushing into dangerous territory where your back says, no, this is too much. The injury's getting aggravated or you know we can't recover from this so i've i've had to learn my body very well through this um and through my coaches and i've i've we communicate very um on a regular day basis on two things really like when i'm in training is it's always hurting kind of like what you just said there's always pain there it never goes away so it's just a scale of one to ten so i'll have to give them a number of how much this is hurting today or how much did it feel i mean because you can sleep on it funny and it's just a scale of one to 10. So I'll have to give them a number of how much this is hurting today or how much did it feel? I mean, cause you can sleep on it funny and it'll be a

seven as opposed to a three. So it's a daily, a daily plan of how much does it, how, how much does it hurt today? And what do we need to change in your training? And there's something that I call the difference between there's muscle pain and bone pain. And when it's muscle pain, it's just muscles are fatigued and they're, they're not really working very well, or they're very tired from previous days of training. So they kind of compensate for something else too much. Right. But then there's bone pain.

And when it's bone pain, I can definitely feel the difference. And that's when it's in my lower spine in that specific spot and it's starting to like radiate into my hips and upper thighs. And that's when I know that's too much. Like I need to stop. I need today to be over or I need to move to upper body movements. And that doesn't happen as nearly as often anymore. But in the very beginning, it was very prevalent all the time that this bone pain, this is not muscle. This is actually the bone itself, which is getting very sore in the way that it felt at least.

A longer time to recover from. A much longer time to recover from. It's more serious stress. Yeah. And it's the kind that freaks you out a little bit. Like I could feel that was the kind of pain that I was having in the very beginning that I didn't know was not the normal pain before the actual injury happened. So now I can actually feel that coming on, and I know that I need to back off my training a little bit.

And, of course, it's like, you know, it feels like an inconvenience when that happens, but I know that if I don't back off and I don't relax for a couple days when I have that kind of bone pain, then it'll just get worse. And I'll have what I call episodes. So I still have them when something just goes wrong or a squat just doesn't feel right or a snatch, I don't catch it correctly. And then it'll, it'll, my back will seize up and then I'll have to take a week or two

off and do lots of chiropractor and get like grass in on my back and use a stem machine to kind of relax those muscles until they're prepared to train again. So where are you staying now? Like if we were to look at an x-ray of your back right now, like has to kind of relax those muscles until they're prepared to train again. So where do you stand now? Like if we were to look at an x-ray of your back right now, like has everything kind of healed and gotten stronger or what's, what's the story? So it's still in three pieces. So I still have scoliosis. Cause that's not going to go away.

Cause after, that's what they said after the six months and then a year later I went back and got another MRI and it hadn't done anything. I have not got an MRI in like a year and a half now. I probably could, but I don't think it was a year later and it was nothing had changed. So the bones themselves had smoothed off, but they were still not connected. So that was still in three pieces. So I still have the spina bifida. That'll never go away.

And then the two spinous processes were no longer connected to the vertebrae. So it was still in those three pieces, which is why I've had, they told me that when I went back for my year later one, because of all, which is why I've had, they told me that when I went back for my year later one, because of all this back work that I'd done, that I had back muscles like a linebacker, which is great. Well, that's awesome.

I have to have that, right? I don't have a choice anymore. Like I have to have super strong back muscles. Otherwise my spine will continue to separate and then I'll be in pain constantly. So basically taking those six months off, did you zero good? Did zero good.

Zero good. Yes. And then you were like, well, I'm going to start doing, you know, good mornings and reverse hypers and you strengthen that and you build a lot of muscle around that.

Correct. So that what happened with the bones really didn't change. Not much changed there, but you created so much muscle mass around that and muscle tone that it kind of, you know, the muscle

took the place where bones might otherwise. As much as it can. Yeah. I developed as much strength to provide, provide support in that area as I could by utilizing those muscles as opposed to relying on that bone, which is now totally compromised because of the breaks. Are you in less pain day to day now than you were because of that? Or, or is it just kind of like, you know, the same as, say, five years ago?

Well, I mean, so five years ago, I wasn't doing the type of training that I am now. So it's still... Jazzercise mostly. Right. Right, jazzercise. I mean, we've all been caught in the jazzercise. I mean, I have the spandex on probably for it.

So it's still very day-to-day pain. I can tell that the more and more, the couple years that have gone on, my body needs more time to recover from events like this. Like I need a couple extra days. So that's how I know that I'm definitely not going to be able to do this forever. So I'm cherishing every event

and every opportunity that I have while I have it. Because I know that my body's not going to last for as long. And I don't want to push it to the point that I can't pick up my grandkids or that I can't walk upright. Grandkids? Whenever that happens. Slow down.

Whenever that happens. I don't want to compromise the functionality of my future life for the stuff that I'm doing now. So I just want to make sure I'm trying to be as healthy as I can. And doing events like this, I'm taking as much advantage of them as I can

because I know for me, it's not going to last forever. So you don't feel like you're sacrificing longevity for performance? No, I don't. Okay. Not yet, at least. Do you feel like this injury, I mean, you sound like maybe a bit wiser than other people maybe your age who haven't had the injuries that feel a little more bulletproof than you

feel. Do you feel like maybe it's been a benefit that you have more realistic expectations for what you should expect of yourself? Because a lot of people push their body so hard when you're young and you don't feel any fucking pain and then you get

into your 30s like, oh, wow, yeah, I did a lot of that stuff. There it is. There's all that stuff I did in my 20s and now it bothers me every day. Mike and I and Doug and I

ask ourselves these questions day like, oh, shit, why did I do all this stuff? Because now daily existence is like just an ibuprofen party. So I do feel like... I don't know ibuprofen party. So I do feel like – I don't know ibuprofen. Excuse me.

I take fish oil. I keep it paleo. I think that would be the way. Keep it paleo. Another pain-reducing agent. I do think that this injury has made me a much better athlete. I'm much smarter about my body. I'm much more in tune with how it feels and how, and how I'm taking care of it and

my nutrition. Cause I know that as much as I need to keep all that stuff on point, if number one, I'm even going to try to keep training the way that I am. And if I'm trying to keep the longevity of this sport for myself alive, as long as I can, that I need to take care of myself in every aspect that I can. So it's, it was very important to me to be very smart about getting back into it, um, to not sacrifice the, the, my future life in any way, shape or form. So it's definitely made me the athlete that I am because I'm much smarter about knowing where I can push and where I can't. And knowing that I, yes, today is going to be a good training day or not allowing a bad training day or training that has pain to like affect my

overall mood because I'm still, I'm still able to be in the gym. I'm still able to do a back squat. So all those things are very, I'm very blessed and lucky that I can still do them. So I think I have a little bit of an edge just knowing that I feel very lucky to do these things. I have a great time doing them. So my relaxedness about that, I think helps me as an athlete more than it would if I hadn't actually.

If I just enjoy the journey of it more. Yeah, for sure. I appreciate it a whole lot. It also seems like you get that some days are going to be just bad days. Yeah. like some days my back's going to fucking really hurt really bad right and there's there's nothing i can do about it it's just the way that it is does it help now that you have a an in-person coach for the first time maybe ever or a long time is it ever ever yeah you were doing remote coaching for a long time and now you have an in-person coach for the

first time ever i do yeah so yeah i had a an out of state coach for a couple years and then now just recently like within the last month and a half i have a coach um who's actually the owner of my gym his name's case belcher at four barrel crossfit and he is now my coach that is able to watch me all the time and he's very i've heard of case yeah yeah he's very he's his reputation precedes him um he great. So he's able to like watch me. And it's like, there was another day a couple of weeks ago that I was back squatting and was like, this just doesn't like, this isn't feeling good. I don't want to go up and wait. And he was able to like drop the weights down and he was like, I can see what's happening.

Like I know that your hips are shifting out. So that kind of stuff is really great to have on site. And he's also very helpful when it is a bad day. And I'm like, Oh, this, everything just feels like shit. Like everything just hurts. And he's like, it's cool. Like, just go hang out. Like, you're fine.

We'll come back tomorrow. Isn't that like the easiest thing to say and like the hardest thing to accept when it's your shitty day you're having? Oh yeah. Well, I mean, right. And I'm a competitor, so I hate shitty days. Like they, they still get into me. I've coached athletes who have like, oh, I'm having a shitty day.

I'm like, take it easy. And then they're like, no. Yeah. But it's cool to hear that. Like, you're like, okay. Yeah.'s cool to hear that you're like, okay. I mean, there are days where I'm not in pain and I still have shitty workouts and I'm still like a bum about them. But when I know it's back pain that's causing my shitty days,

then I'm able to just like, this is not the day. This is not okay. I'm just not going to do whatever this movement is. I'm going to move on. And if something hurts, then I need to do something else. So after the back injury, are you that much more willing if your shoulders achy or your elbow hurts something like that to scale for the shoulder the elbow that way you don't have a catastrophic injury for for another joint down the line yeah yeah I'm much I'm much more aware I think of my

whole body not just in my back itself but like where I'm having pain and I have I have really like random and phantom knee and ankle pain which which I know is coming from my lower back. So when I start to have some kind of knee pain, I'm like, okay, I now I know I need to back off because it's not my knee. It's like my it band, which is stemming from my psoas.

So like there's all these connections, which I know a lot of them stem from my lower back. So I know that even if something else is hurting, it's probably because something else in my training is going a little off. So I'm much more aware of like, it's pretty wise of you. I guess the insight you've garnered from this. Most people will go, oh, shit, my knee hurts.

Better fix my knee. My favorite is my back hurts. How do I stretch my back? I'm like – It's probably not your back. Stop treating your back so terribly. Please, sir. Stop what you're doing.

So I think I've definitely gained a lot of body awareness knowledge because the last thing i want is to be out with another crazy injury i mean i've been through that i don't i'm used to having my back as being my main injury and i don't want anything else to be affected because if i i mean right your back is involved in everything so if you have to rest your back yeah right so what do you hear maybe so if you have to rest your back you kind of have to rest your whole body um so there's not a whole lot that i can do if i need to rest my back one way or the other so if i have other injuries then that'll just totally limit anything that i can do so i'm very conscious of everything else that i have and knowing where it's coming from and the reason why it's happening

and trying to relax a little bit as much as i can you're currently a coach right now too i am i'm a full-time coach at four barrel as well yeah i mean i know as a coach right now too? I am. I'm a full-time coach at Four Barrel as well. Yeah, I mean, I know as a coach having a bunch of injuries to put a positive spin on being injured, you know how to scale for yourself

because you've been injured everywhere and that way when clients come to you you're like, oh, I know just what to do. I fucked that up a long time ago.

That's why we're all such good coaches. Injured constantly. Yeah, I mean, that's the nice too. Everybody needs to know what happens. I feel pretty good

at the moment actually. If you haven't, for the moment? For the moment. I'm glad somebody know it happens. I feel pretty good at the moment, actually. For the moment? For the moment. I'm glad somebody here feels great. I've had a good two-month period of no injuries. It's weird. I'll put together a couple of good months where everything feels good.

I feel strong, and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, shit, elbows, knees, ankles. It just comes up. Everything. So the point to make about injury is that this shit happens. If you're going to push to get stronger, you might have a little wear and tear, aches and pains. You might have something actually happen because it's not your coach's fault. It's just sometimes things happen.

Injury's going to happen. What's your best advice for somebody who goes through, we're not talking like the strains and pains and things that are going to happen in training, but somebody who goes through something like, oh, you've discovered a real problem or you get off the box wrong and you get a real injury to your leg and you're off, you're on the shelf for three or four months in a boot or you discover something like, wow, I was pushing for something. I had a vision for what I want to achieve.

And it turns out I have something fundamentally wrong. And it's like spina bifida. What's your best advice for somebody who discovers or comes upon an injury? Like how do they, What's their first step to move forward? Where do they go? I think when someone is faced with a really big injury that they feel like is going to affect their life, I think that they need to first

think about what they actually want to do with their life. If they want to keep their fitness as a primary part of their life or if they want to use whatever the body part is that is big and injured, they need to take care of it first and foremost. Find out the ways to strengthen it find out what you can do and what you can't do and what's going to limit it and then don't let it stop you so i i hate hearing stories of when people are like oh well i got injured 20 years ago and then i just stopped

doing everything because i just felt like i could and i hate that because i i know but i sprained my ankle playing soccer two weeks ago should Should I still come to the gym? Yes. I do believe that would be good for you. Should I give up the dream of semi-professional community soccer? I mean, I've been pursuing this for 15 years. So I hate hearing stories like that. And it breaks my heart because I know that I didn't want it to be over.

And I thought for a while that it was. I mean, I was like, you know, as much in a dark place as you can be when you've only started CrossFit. And that was all I wanted to do. Right. I mean, it was, it was not, yeah. I mean, I was like a mess in the chiropractor because they had just told me you can never squat again. You're done with this. So, and I hate, I hate knowing that other people can let that affect them. And I don't want people to think that their injury can define them or who they can be or what they want to do, because it's just an injury. Like, and i understand that it does affect your daily life but it doesn't need to affect how you live your life like you don't need to let it define the

things that you do and what you want to do with your life and of course you're going to have to work around it but there's always ways that you can be stronger and you can get better and it's it shouldn't be something that you feel like is changing the way that you are or your personality or the way that you live your life every day you go through a process where like okay well um there's people who are gonna have an advantage over me and i know there's certain things i'm not gonna be able to do like i'm not gonna squat a certain amount of weight because i can't do the work is it is important to acknowledge what's gonna be off the table right up front like how honest have you had to be with yourself how easy was that or how difficult was that unfortunately very honest so like for example last year at the games there was and the there's a

couple movements that i wasn't really good at like overhead squash which was the naughty nancy and there was like a hundred of them or something um and i knew going into at least a million i think there was a thousand minimum um there's so many so i knew going into that workout like this is gonna hurt me it's i mean it was a 95 pounds which is not a very light and it was for 100 reps so i have to go into those workouts knowing again like reminding yourself you're lucky to be here just enjoy the experience enjoy being here on the soccer field and don't get caught up in what everyone else is doing push yourself as hard as you can you can always push harder but don't don't worry about you know

everyone else who's running off and then on day three there was ghd setups with a weight ball which is the hardest thing so it was yeah so i was like farther off and just even getting through that 21 reps was a huge success i hadn't ghd setups there's a way more high skill movement than people probably well a train wreck your ass one wasn't it? Yeah. There's a lot of things that need to be happening there. People don't pay enough. Yeah, they just kind of whip themselves around.

You need to be paying a little more attention to what's going on. Super, yeah. And your back is totally bending, and then the pressure point is all in your low back. So then add a med ball on top of that was really scary to me. And when they released that, my coach texted me, and he was like, it's cool. Don't worry about it. We're just going to get through it I didn't practice I practiced maybe four going into the games

just to feel what it felt like and then got to the games and was like well I just need to get literally just need to get through this and if I get through this then this workout is a success not rushing it

not rushing it not trying to win the GHD sit up game because I knew let's just finish right exactly finishing in some workouts like that is to me an accomplishment in itself don't be the GHD sit up all star at local just finish. Right, exactly. Finishing in some workouts like that is, to me, an accomplishment in itself.

Don't be the GHD sit-up all-star. Right. No one's going to appreciate you. Right. So, I mean, I have no... Just don't get re-injured. Right. I have no unrealistic expectations

of, like, winning the games or coming in second. Like, because I know my limitations, but I know that I can't do anything about them. I know that I can push myself as hard as I can in all the aspects that I can, but if there's stuff like GC sit-ups or overhead squats that come up, I just have to relax about it and know that it's a struggle for me and then push on everything else that I can

within that workout as well. Yeah. A lot of people just look at what they haven't done. Like you get to the games, you could sit there and be like, Oh, I'm not, I didn't get first place at the games. I'm never going to be a games champion. Like, but still with your injury, just to get to the games is a monumental accomplishment. That's amazing. No one ever thought you would ever do that, ever. Just to get there is fucking amazing. So the fact that you can just be in the moment, realize you're lucky to be there, and appreciate

the fact that you're there at all is incredible. Thank you. So yeah, I mean, it was great. And that workout sent me in the top 30. So pat yourself on the back. Yeah. Thanks. Really.

Well, Doug will do it for you. Yeah. Let's wrap this up. Awesome. We all have a party to get to. We do. I'm so excited. We're hosting a party

and we're not there right now. Everyone's waiting for you guys. We're going to be. It's the barbell shrugged party. Yeah. Fashionably late. Two year old party. Which is fine.

It'll be even better when you arrive. I think. Don't get too caught up and beating yourself up after injury. And if you're going to throw a party, your own party,

show up a few minutes late and be drunk and flamboyant when you walk through the door. Do not bore people. That's the worst sin you can commit. Those are the takeaways from this whole podcast.

All right, so if people want to follow you, do you have a, where should they go? Instagram, Twitter? So my Instagram is Volinda Barber with a V,

V-O-L-I-N-D-A. Oh, we learned this earlier tonight. Because that's my real? So my Instagram is Volinda Barber with a V, V-O-L-I-N-D-A. Oh, we learned this. Because that's my real name. Volinda. Volinda. What's the origin of that name? So it's my great grandmother's first name. And she was also called Lindy.

And yeah, so it's just a family name down there. You didn't even know that your name was Volinda until you got to school. It's true. And they called out and you're like, who's that weird person? It's like, where is she at? You don't know your real name and surprise surprise

you've got spina bifida enough with the surprises many surprises many surprises and then my Instagram is at

Lindy Barber and then I have a Facebook athlete page Lindy Barber as well sweet it's all pretty simple

thank you for joining us thank you for having me so much thanks for coming here. Fantastic job tonight on the fight stage. Thank you. Now for drinks.

Now we're off to party. Let's go do it. Let's go do our own kind of fighting with a liquor bottle. That was so fun. Yeah, that was cool. Thanks for coming on.