Barbell Shrugged - Addicted to Pain with Matt Paz — Real Chalk #83

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

An inspirational story that is sure to fire you up for the week! In this podcast Matt Paz outlines his journey from rock bottom to qualifying for the triathlon world championships in Kona Hawaii just a few years later.    Some would say that he traded one addiction for another, but if you ask me, I’d call it destiny. Matt was born to suffer, inspire, and share his love for fitness with the world. He just had a different path than most. And at the end of the day, he will tell you that he wouldn’t have it any other way.    Matt currently owns and operates Garden Grove Fitness in Orange County, California. His gym, brand, and community continue to grow at rapid pace.    Inspirational stories like this is exactly why I started this podcast! I hope you enjoy it, share it, and reach out to Matt on Instagram and let him know your thoughts. Happy listening!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/rc-paz ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/ barbellshruggedpodcast TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

Alright guys, it's Tuesday. We're back. It's time to get some real chalk in those eardrums. This week, inspiration is numero uno. I'm going to be introducing you guys to Matt Paz. He happens to own a gym about 15 miles away from mine out here in Orange County. He used to hit me up all the time on Instagram and be like, Hey man, I see you like to ride bikes. So do I. I see that you own a gym. So do I. I think we should meet up. I think we'd really kick it off. I eventually met up with him. Originally, I was blowing him off. I was like, this guy looks like he's really serious about bike riding. I don't know about that. Every time I like to ride my

bike, I like to be for fun. And I found out that he was really serious about bike riding. And he had been to the World Championships in Kona for triathlons, which is impressive in itself. But when you hear the whole story, it's super impressive. This man hit absolute rock bottom, was addicted to drinking and partying, which eventually led into some pills. And he just kept going down the wrong path. He didn't really know what his path was. And it just became, you know, the absolute rock bottom wasn't sure where he was going with his life and went into rehab and just started to make a new life for himself. And during that process, he found out that he was really good at running. And then from running, he found out he was really good at swimming. And then from there, he found out he was really good at biking. And

then he just found out that he was just really, really good at dealing with just absorbent amounts of pain. There's a part in the podcast where he talks about his detox from drugs and how he thinks about that moment all the time when he's going through these races. And it gets him through. And anything besides what he had to go through is easier than what he had to go through to overcome his addiction. And I just think that this story applies to everybody, whether you've had an addiction or not. It's just an amazing story about wanting to do something so badly that you would do anything to get there.

So I think this story is just going to fucking light you up for the week. And I'm so, so excited for you guys to listen to it. I really, really want you guys to share this, not only with me, but with Matt. I want Matt to feel your guys' love and support throughout the podcast. And if you are a member of Matt's gym, I know he's sharing this for all of his members. I hope you guys are really proud of Matt when this thing is over. You know, he sat in my office and we just went through the whole story. And that's hard to do for people who are in the same situation as Matt. All right. So that is the intro for this show. Sponsors for the show are just going to be myself and Mr. Richard Diaz. We went

together recently and created the Dark Horse Training Program, which was kind of what my last episode was all about. And basically, we've created a system now that can get you guys to get through these workouts that have a lot of anaerobic capacity in them. And there's a flow chart, and there's a whole formula to go through these workouts in a way that's never really been put on paper before. So there's a lot of people out there doing a lot of endurance coaching for the sport, and there's a lot of people out there doing gymnastics and weightlifting and this and that. But this particular program is a new format that really needed to be addressed in the community of CrossFit and functional training so that you guys can get better at these workouts,

get more rounds, get done more efficiently, and really in such a way that's actually, you know, asking for less energy. If you guys want to check it out, you can listen to my last episode with Mr. Richard Diaz called Changing the Game. You can go to jimryan.com, G-Y-M-R-Y-A-N.com and check out the Dark Horse Training Program. There's also an instructional video on there with everything about running form so you guys can become better runners, which is actually a great addition to this show since we're talking about triathlons in here. And that entire video, we did something similar on YouTube and got almost a million views within just a few weeks. So it was an amazingly popular video.

We break it down a little bit more this time and give you guys a lot more value in the video, and it links up well with the training program. So right now we've already sold, I don't know, 1,000 or more of those things, and it's really been just going through the roof. So if you guys want to check it out, again, it's at jimryan.com. That's all I really have for you guys.

Everything else that I have right now that's out in the world is all on jimryan.com. You guys can check out all the things that are Ryan Fisher. And without any further ado, we're going to get into this episode. We're going to get into the inspiration. I'm going to light you guys up for the week. Enjoy the show. All right, Chalk Nation, we're back. It's Tuesday.

I'm sitting down with Matt Paz, owner of West Grove Fitness, which actually is not very far away from my gym. I actually met Matt because he kept tagging me on Instagram. I was like, dude, we have to go for a bike ride one of these days. I like bike riding too. And I was like, I don't know who the fuck this guy is. So after a while, eventually I got on a podcast with some guy who was like in the same area as his gym. And then when I was going over there, I actually wound up meeting up with him and he wanted to be super cool. Um, so we actually just

went riding today and he also has an amazing story. And as you guys know, I am a huge, huge advocate of just inspiring, awesome stories. So this guy went from being a huge, huge advocate of just inspiring awesome stories. So this guy went from being an addict, I guess you would call it. Addict alcoholic. Alcoholic. And then he went to the Kona World Championships for triathlons. I did. Yep.

Which was an incredible feat. And I remember him telling me a couple times on our bike rides that his wife was like, I'm going to leave you if you don't go to this fucking championship. If you don't make it right now, there's no more second chances. It takes that much time. So your very last go at it, you made it. I did. Which is amazing in itself. So I think it's always cool to have someone who did something amazing.

But on top of that, he also owns an amazing gym now. And he's just a good person and does a bunch of cool shit. So let's talk about – well, first off, i wish you guys could see his before and after photo god i'm you have to post that yeah that has to be posted yes and that's just going to make this that much cooler so if you guys are seeing that photo at some point and now you're listening to this podcast now you have a better grip on what we're talking about here so it's embarrassing but it's okay i'm letting it out there it's it's it still brings me to a pretty bad place when I see it, but I love seeing it because it reminds me of where I was

and how lucky I am to be breathing right now, really. So, yeah, it's just, you know, my story is important to get out there because there's still so many people suffering in the alcoholism and drug addiction, and there is hope. It's crazy. One of my coaches for those of you guys who don't know um he is a recovering alcoholic as well it's been like years now do you still have to do the meetings like do you still do the meetings you know i haven't been to a meeting in years and um i kind of just you know they say he still goes that's great and i and you know it

as it's like asking it's basically it's for, it's like do another workout or go to a meeting and I'd rather do another workout. Okay. I just – there's not enough time in the day for me with owning a business and trying to do what I'm doing and having a family that for me to take an hour and a half – it'd be taking an hour and a half of my workout away from me. And that is therapy. I need that workout personally. So I'm in a good place. I surround myself with people in Alcoholics Anonymous. So if I ever get sketchy or squirrely, I call them and I have someone to go to.

There's alcoholics in my gym recovered. So I'm always close to the program. I just don't happen to go to the meetings anymore. There's also a ton of CrossFit Games athletes who are recovering. Oh, I'm sure. People too. So I think people just don't even realize how prominent it is in the space. Well, I think to be an awesome endurance athlete or a CrossFitter, you have to be kind of crazy.

You have to be addicted to it, really. And I traded my addiction in for a healthy addiction, and that's kind of why I do what I do. So at what point did you realize that you actually had an actual problem? Because a lot of people, it takes a while, or they know it's a problem, and they just don't care. So growing up, I'll take you back when I was younger, I was always an athlete. Just a really good athlete, played all the sports. And when I got to high school, I narrowed it down to my three sports baseball football basketball but i remember um and all those times i started drinking about 15 had my

first beer maybe a little younger and i fell in love with that head change um and it was crazy i was like whoa i love that one beer two beer three beers three beers. It was just awesome. I just, I loved the way I felt about it, you know, and I craved that feeling. So I think I craved it more than other kids did that were drinking with me. I couldn't wait to drink again just because it was fun. Yeah. And I liked the way it made me do crazy shit and it turned me into the person, the person I thought I wanted to be. And so I still, like I said, I was an athlete.

So it didn't affect me at all. I just, as I progressed through high school, I still partied. You know, I was really good at drinking. That sounds weird. But I could drink. My tolerance got really high at a young age. A 12-pack to a 16- old. You should really make somebody drunk. I could easily drink that.

No problem. And, um, and function really. So, um, because I was drinking a lot on the weekends and whatnot. And,

um, so, you know, going through high school, I played all the sports, but I, I still partied just pretty hard for a high schooler. And my sister was in college.

She went to San Diego State. Okay. And which, as you know, is a pretty big college school. College school, sorry, party school. And I remember going to visit her, and I was like, whoa, this is where it's at. I mean, you talk about a huge party. It was just parties everywhere, this and that, people drinking. I loved it.

It was like a sport to me. I just could not wait to drink with the big girls and boys, you know what I mean? So I knew at a young age that this was my future as far as playing sports and drinking. It went hand in hand to me. I loved it. You were still a great athlete. Phenomenal. Like, really. and drinking. It went hand in hand to me. You were still a great athlete. Phenomenal. Really. In high school

I remember so many athletes in high school being I ran track. I remember a lot of the records. I'd be like, damn, that's a crazy time. The coach or a friend would be like, dude, and that guy was probably drunk when he did it.

I was like, what? I have some friends like that. Some guy I knew in high school threw no hitter i heard he was high on marijuana like i couldn't do that like yeah it's just weird but uh and i never played high or played drunk i was always all in when i played sports but i definitely uh partied um before that but so you know in high school you get recruited and stuff for colleges and um i was pretty much i i narrowed down to sports baseball and football and i was you know six to 185 my senior year junior year one of those two and um my i had a huge garage and you'd get letters from colleges and I my entire like it was a four-car garage my entire wall was filled with I would just staple the letters up from all the colleges like

I'm talking about every major college you could think of I had letters from and they were I'd say 75% were for football I went to play baseball in college, Division I baseball, but most of my letters, most of my recruiting came from football. I was just a free safety, just aggressive on the football field, played defense, could hit, tackle, all that stuff, was a good captain of the defense, so to speak. And so, you know, you get five trips in college. When you're recruited in college, you get five official visits.

Well, they fly you out, and you can go visit the coaches and see, and you hang out with the team, and they show you the campus, and you meet everybody. And I took three of them, and I went to – but, again, I was a two-sport athlete so I went to Fresno State and I looked at baseball but I talked to the football coach too so it's kind of a dual sport sport meeting there San Diego San Diego State was a football only they wanted me to come in and play football my first year and not baseball and I I was like, no, I want to play baseball as well.

And then Long Beach State didn't have a football team, but they were known for putting people in the league. See, at my age and the gifts I was given, I'm really blessed with athletic ability. There was no job. I never thought about getting a real job. It just didn't cross my mind. I was an athlete. I mean, really, that's where I was was supposed to be i was the same way you know what i mean like i was like i'm gonna do something in fitness like exactly it's like a death job or

whatever it never even crossed my mind ever i was gonna be an athlete a hundred percent yeah and and so i already was thinking about my professional career in high school. So when it came down to it, I went to Long Beach State and I started doing the math and seeing the numbers of the guys they put in the big leagues in baseball was a very high percentage. Even though I loved football and the aggression of it and all that, and it was probably my first love, I was already thinking about a professional career. So after taking my trip to Long Beach State and talking to the coach and seeing the potential there, I decided to shut down my trips and I committed to Long Beach State, and I wanted to pursue that. Where were you living at the time? In Stockton. I grew up in Stockton, California.

So I'm from Northern California. Okay. And Stockton actually is the city I come from. If you don't know Stockton, Stockton is a very rough town. We went broke, bankrupt back in 2008. The Diaz boys are from Stockton. Oh, yeah. MMA fighters.

We went to the same high school. As a matter of fact, they're a couple years younger. They actually grew up right around the block from me. Okay. So it's just – we just have – people from stockton have a chip on their shoulder just in general um just a rough neighborhood it's a it's a good place to be you know be from yeah so anyways but the goal is still to get out of stockton so um now as i picked Long Beach State, my girlfriend at the time tells me she's pregnant. So this actually hasn't been told.

I don't know any of this either. Right. For everybody listening, I don't know any of this. It's my first time listening to it. So my girlfriend, I'm thinking I'm 17. My junior year tells me she's pregnant and this and that. And, you know, I'm 17. I have a dream to play professional sports and go to college and this, you know.

And so I'm like, okay, you know, after, by the way, telling my parents at that age, when you're supposed to do all this and that. Yeah, terrifying. Terrifying. Terrifying. I mean, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do was that, tell my parents that my girlfriend was pregnant. And so I did that. And then my girlfriend told me that, you know, and I'm like, okay.

So what I had to do, I knew I wasn't getting married and I knew I still had to pursue my dream. I still wanted to be in my kid's life somehow. Um, so I, I told my, um, I told my girlfriend, well, this is me and you is pointless. Cause, um, I'm not, we're not going to be together. I'm not going to marry you. We're not going to raise a family together. I have, I'm going to go and do my thing. Um, but I still want to be in my kid's life. So, um, that sounds like the guy from a free solo, right? Exactly. Right. Nothing mattered. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. He's just like, uh, I'm going to Yeah, right. And you're going to – if you want to love me, great. If not, then whatever. So that was that. So I went to college and – because I didn't want to – I knew it wasn't going to work out. So I didn't want to try it out for two, three years and put my kid through a potential divorce, so to speak, and have that be – I just wanted to be able to raise my kid and do what I could. I think that was a smart move. Knowing that her dad's in her life but not have to start here and then separate. Does that make sense?

Yep. Because I knew that I wasn't going to – there was no way I could live with regrets. I had multiple stepdads growing up. Right. I mean, that's not cool either. Right. So I told my ex-girlfriend, hey, you know, this isn't going to work. So, you know, and we had the kid in high school.

It was February year, second semester, and I wasn't there at the time of the birth. And then I met my child for the first time. I think she was three weeks old or something. Four weeks old. Okay. How'd that feel? It was amazing. Don't forget, I'm a kid.

Yeah. I'm 18 years old. That's crazy. It's a trip, man. And then after it was born, were your family cool? Oh, everyone was cool. Yeah. It was just like...

I feel like once the baby's born, all this negativity just goes out the window. Right, sure. And everyone wants to love a baby. Who doesn't want to love a baby? But I still had my dream. And I think my ex-girlfriend always wanted to try to work it out. She always wanted to. Do you still talk to her now?

Well, we have to. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. We coexist. I actually get along with her husband who is my daughter's stepdad. Okay. We get along great. So I talk to him mainly.

Okay. That seems very forward. Like I could tell you're like, yeah. Yeah. It's just easier that way. Yeah. So we had the kid, and I went to Lumbridge State, and then I got to see my baby on the weekends and stuff like that. But you're still drinking quite a bit at this point.

Oh, absolutely. I mean, the partying is still there. I'm drinking, I'm dating girls, and I'm playing sports and kicking ass. Yeah. And I'm going to Lumbridge State to play ball to ball for one of the best teams in the country. We were ranked number two in the country as I was getting there. So that was an honor to get a scholarship like I got to that one of the best schools

in the country. So I came to college and again, and when you get from high school, you're the big fish. You're the man, right? Yep. And you go to college and then now it starts over again it starts over again you got to earn your keep and i had a great so baseball's in the spring at a great fall ball and that's after fall ball the fall season uh not season just all the workouts they kind of the coach kind of picks he knows who his solid foundation of starters are going to be. And I made the cut to be one of the starters as a freshman. And I remember I pitched my first game that weekend against Baylor,

and it fell on my daughter's first birthday. So that was kind of cool. And I got my first college win, and she hit her first birthday on the same day. And, again, I'm still partying i hit college and it's like once you hit college and you don't live at home anymore and there's no rules really it's on yeah so drinking became a lot more okay i was drinking my own drinking four or five days a week whoa yeah in college and the freshman 15 is real real. However, I didn't get fat because I wasn't always an athlete. I got a little puffy in my face.

Yeah. You know? Did you start to notice it? Yeah. Or is this like later on, like when you're looking at photos? Both. Okay. You could kind of see a little bit of puffiness just from, I mean, the extra calories or empty

calories I'm taking in. They kind of, I worked out, so I still had a, I was still in shape. Yeah. But still, they had to go somewhere. I gained weight in. They kind of, I worked out, so I still had a, I was still in shape. Yeah. But still, they had to go somewhere and I gained weight in my face and my drink. And,

so, so I'm 11 in college, doing my thing and then, and then, you know, in Alaska, you have to,

so after the season's over, they send people to the coach sends the players to the errors the have you ever heard of the there's an Alaskan

summer baseball league no it's a baseball league where all the top players in the country go play in Alaska for two for two months

and it's pretty cool I've never heard of that it's cool there's one in Alaska and there's one in the Cape Cod League you've heard of the Cape Cod League I've never heard of that. It's cool. There's one in Alaska and there's one in the Cape Cod League. You've heard of the Cape Cod League? I've never heard of any of these.

Okay. I know where Cape Cod is and then I would assume baseball players would go there and play, but I'd never heard of playing. They made a movie about the Cape Cod League. Oh, okay. I forget the actor.

I've never heard of any professional athletes going to Alaska to play anything. No, it's when you're in college and the top college players will go here and then all the scouts will go either to Alaska or the Cape Cod League to watch them because it's a wood bat league because when you go to the pros, it's all wood bats. Yep. So you get to go pitch to these wood bats and you play baseball every day.

And it's a bitchin' league and Alaska's awesome in the summertime. It's sunny all day long. And, you know, and there it was, you know, the drinking started to progress in Alaska. And, you know, I got into a few fights in Alaska drinking. And trouble started to come around me at this point in college, okay? So I started to get in a little trouble. What year of college are you in now? Second year?

I'm in the, going into my sophomore year. Okay. And I believe I got a minor in possession, which MIP, which is where you get, you know, you're in, you know, around alcohol and you get a ticket for being underage. And then I got another one. And then I got a third one. I mean, I got three of them before I hit 21 of just being in possession of it and being somewhat drunk.

It's like not drunk and disorderly. It's just minor possession of alcohol. So you could kind of see – that doesn't happen to normal kids. Like did you have any MIPs? No. No. Okay. So I had three.

So, I mean, that's kind of a lot. You could see one person maybe getting one, but I got three. So, yeah,, that's kind of a lot. You can see one person maybe getting one, but I got three. So, yeah, alcohol was following me. And then I'm going to take you to – so my junior year I was used a lot in pitching. They threw the hell out of me. I ended up getting hurt. I had Tommy John surgery.

Have you ever heard of that? No. So Ryan doesn't know shit about baseball, obviously. I don't know anything about baseball or – dude, I don't know anything about sports. Sports, period. It's really bad. Except for like bobsledding, which who knows shit about bobsledding except for Ryan? Dude, someone asked me about an insanely famous basketball player. It wasn't LeBron James, but it was –

It better not be Michael Jordan. No, it wasn't Michael Jordan. This guy is not even black, but he's an incredible basketball player. I think he plays for the Nuggets? Maybe? You got me there. Yeah, I don't know either. I already forgot him again, but it was one of the best basketball players in the league.

They're like, you don't know who this is? That sounds about right for you. I was like, oh yeah, my bad. Unless it happened in a CrossFit gym, I probably wouldn't know. He had his head buried in weights. Okay, so where were we? So you are Unless it happened in a CrossFit gym, I probably don't know. He had his head buried in weights. Okay. So where were we?

So you are in – you have three MIPs now. Right. And you were drinking, still kind of following you around, and now you're getting into – Oh, okay. So I just – what I was getting into was I had Tommy John surgery, which is a very known injury in surgery for pitchers. Is it like a tennis elbow style? Kind of. It's your ulnar collateral ligament that gets just snapped or dissolved, right? So they take a tendon in one of your arms,

and they replace the ligament with a tendon. And it's a very successful surgery. You have about, they say, 85% chance to come back. And I was one of the 15% that didn't come back as well. Right. I never recovered like I wanted to. Um, but at the same time, Ryan, I was thinking about this last night cause I was coming on the podcast. Like, I also wonder like if I didn't go hard enough in my rehab, if I didn't, cause like as an athlete now and and I still consider myself an athlete, and when I got sober, and as you did when you were in CrossFit, nothing else mattered except for your training regimen.

You would do anything. The world didn't matter except for the workout at the time or whatever it was. I was a robot. Yeah, exactly. You followed your shit to a T just like i did i'm sure of it like this was your day this is what you did boom boom boom boom didn't go out then you know it's just like an ongoing cycle and nothing and but that was the way that that's why we were successful and good and competitive and so um i didn't have that at 21 so i wonder I wonder if I did fucking have that mentality because it was too much fun to party and hang out with girls and hang out with your buddies

and do this. So I still, I don't know. I really don't know if I would have came back if I had the same mentality then as I do now. And I'll never know. I don't live in regret. So everything happens for a reason. And it is what it is.

I'm a massive component of that. For sure. I've had a lot of shitty times in my life. I was like, you know what? I think that needed to happen. Sure. So, you know, I may have may or may not have come back. I don't know.

But I didn't. Let's just play that way. I didn't come back. And the way I thought I was. So, but at the same time, I got the surgery. I got pills. They prescribed me some pills. I was wondering where all this was going.

So – and when I had those pills, it was like, whoa. It's another cool feeling I've never felt before, right? But it's probably not just the pills. You're probably mixing everything now. Oh, of course. Of course. But – so you can't drink every day because it smells in your breath. So now I'm taking pills when I'm not drinking just to feel the high. And I felt the high and my girlfriend

at the time had a surgery as well on her knee and she got prescribed Percocets and she didn't like them. I said, Oh, I'll take those. So I had had a couple double doses of these big bottles of um you know opiates and i remember i remember how much i loved that feeling even a little more than alcohol i loved it i mean it was like oh euphoric and i remember i ran out and i remember i got sick after it was like weird feeling after ran out, I just felt sick. Body was aching. And then I started researching. That's similar to like heroin, right? Well, I started researching.

I was getting dope sick. My body was dependent on it because I went like so many days in a row. And I got sick from not having it in my system. And that was it. I remember. And the pills were gone. And then I went about my business. Senior year came along.

And then I think I ended up getting drafted by the gone, and then I went about my business. I, you know, senior year came along, and then, you know, I think I ended up getting drafted by the Indians, even with my bad elbow. Oh, I didn't even know that. I got drafted by Cleveland Indians, and they asked me if I wanted to, you know, play my senior year or, you know, go over there and go in the minors. And I was like, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to come back. So I didn't want to sit in the minor league bus and make a run. I didn't think I had it in me. You know what I mean?

Like the minor leagues aren't, they're not glamorous. Yeah. So I didn't want to go, I didn't want to sit 10 hours, go to a game and then make a, you know, a thousand bucks a month doing this and that. When I knew I didn't think I had a chance of playing the big leagues. So let's just forget about it and go on in life, right? So I finished school. I graduated actually with a kinesiology degree.

And then I ended up getting a teaching credential at the same time. My parents were teachers. I didn't know what I was going to do. My dream job of becoming a professional athlete was now going down the shitter, right? Because now it's like, what are you going to do? I i'm like i don't know what i'm gonna do yeah and i also have a at the time probably a three-year-old who i'm not seeing full time and i'm drinking so my relationship isn't that great with her yeah you know what i'm saying but again i'm just now starting to really get into some partying. And so as I got my teaching credential, I also got a job as a bar back at a bar. Yep.

And so that was my first time getting in the bar scene at this bitchin' bar. And then I also got a job at Chili's as a server. And so I was doing that thing. And then I got a job teaching and I was doing both for a little while. Doing the bar back job couldn't have been good. It wasn't. And I was only a bar back for...

Because you're around so much alcohol. Oh, alcohol. But it gets better. So I did the bar back, right, for about six months or seven months and I get to befriend all the bartenders. And we started asking, how much do you guys make at night? And they were like, oh, we make, you know,

three, four hundred bucks a night in cash. I'm like, whoa, that's awesome. I go, how do I become a bartender? Like, I want to do that. Fuck this 50 bucks a night shit. And so what I did was I came early for an hour and asked them to train me to be a bartender. And I would come and then one of the girls would, you know, I'd just shadow her around and I'd help her out for free and do my thing.

And then one night, so I learned how to bartend without knowing no one. I just came in early by myself. And then one night one of the bartenders was in jail. And the manager was like, hey hey who's there to help i go hey john i i actually know how to bartend now yeah like i've been training he's like all right go ahead and i crushed it and from that day on i was a bartender so now i'm a bartender in control of this entire full bar this is not good this is the perfect storm like you know what i mean so and i'm making money i'm pouring drinks and i'm drinking and this is kind of bar where it's

encouraged to drink on the job this is probably your dream it's just i mean it's the next best thing ryan you don't understand it is the next best thing to being a dollar a night right which is like big money to me yeah you know and i have and it's like and at the time too it's more money it's great money oh yeah for sure oh at the time oh for sure totally nah 50 yeah no it's about 12 years ago 15 years ago even still yeah right 10 years ago sure so you're like literally a rock star behind the bar. Women love a bartender. Oh, yeah. They really do. So, I mean. And I still love a hot girl bartender.

Right. See. Anybody in uniform, right? I mean, you in that kit right now is kind of making me turn me on right now. Yeah, I'm still wearing my bike outfit right now. So, it was really. I mean, I was in my happy place behind that bar. I was pouring drinks.

I was drinking on the job. I was getting paid to party. Yeah. Straight up, getting paid to party. So my teaching credential went to the wayside. There was no reason to teach because – Did you never even do one-day teaching? I did a little bit. I did my student teaching, and I think I had a little gig, and it didn't work out.

I was like, I don't need that. Let's stay right here. I'm making more money actually, and I'm having a bitching time doing it. And I lived right across the street from the bar. Like seriously, right across the street. So you can do the math on how much fun I really had. When you have a lot of these girls and you live across the street. I'm picking up what you're putting down.

You get it. All right right you're getting it so i mean plus you're at the right place at the right time always exactly exactly and oh and and if you're cute hey did you hear about the after hours party you didn't oh you just stick around and the bar closes and you're and you know you get to pick you get to pick who stays after you know what i I mean? So it was like, oh my gosh. And it's such a cool bar. And then people would start tipping me, Ryan, in like drugs. So it kind of led to – it was like a – it was a special bar. I mean it was a special place. It really was.

I can't make this shit up. People would literally tip me in cocaine, and I hadn't even gotten cocaine yet. People would tip me in pills, but I liked the pills. So the pills came back into my life. So as I'm bartending, literally, that's how they came back into my life. Oh, so at that one point point when you started feeling those withdrawals you never went back on never went back on

oh that was good never went back on I was still young I was still drinking all the time the drinking never stopped yeah I wasn't drinking every day

but I was drinking three four days a week and when I started bartending I was drinking every day when I started bartending I was because you work

three four days a week and you're drinking every night on the job and as soon as you get off that industry you want to party. Like if we're bartending together, we're not working, we're going to go out to the other bars and party

because bartenders take care of bartenders. So we could go to the bar across the street, and they know we're bartenders, and so we're getting hooked up all night long. You know what I mean? And we're going to get into every line because when they come and it's their turn, we're going to hook them up. So it was just like the party was on. And I lived in Belmont Shore, Long Beach, California. Ahifornia yeah it's cool over there so it's way cool so it was like oh man it was just

like a great five years it was a good five years and then like i said the pills came back into my life and then i got into trouble then the pills started taking over my life. Okay. It got to the point where I couldn't stop taking pills. And then I kind of knew there was a serious problem coming on. And it was to the point where I was hooked on the pills. And then. Were you doing cocaine and other things too? Yes.

Cocaine entered my life. And I probably have you doing cocaine and other things too? Yes. Cocaine entered my life and I probably have done probably cocaine I'd say probably 100 times maybe. I don't know. I mean – but even – does that sound like a lot to you? I don't know. I've done cocaine 100 times. Does that sound like a lot? But to me, that's not that many times. I don't – you know what I mean? Like because I was – there's a lot of days in –

That needs to be the highlight of the podcast right now. Is that – I don't know. Is that bad? Honestly, like, I smoked weed quite a bit in college. I went to school in Hawaii. Awesome. So, I mean, if you didn't smoke weed, you didn't have friends. Right, right.

Like, literally, like, even if you didn't like it, you should just do it. Right. Just to fit in. So you have a friend. Right. It was like literally that bad. Right. But I got to the point one day I remember my mom – I used to call my mom like every single day.

And then one day I didn't call her for like a month. And she's like, Ryan, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. You know, like I had forgotten like a month of my life. Oh, Jesus. And then I was like this needs to stop and then like one day like you know i like stopped smoking my friends were sitting around we're all bored and stuff and they're like um what do you want to do tonight and i was like

because like we we went out to the bars and i was like let's do some fucking cocaine you said that yeah and then they were And you've never done it before? No, never. Awesome. And then everybody was like, Jesus. They looked at me and they were like, bro. Oh, yeah. And I was like, well, I'm not smoking anymore.

If we're going to go out and party, let's do something new. I don't fucking know. And then I did it that one time and I was like, whoa, that was intense. Did you like it? it was awesome and then we did it again I think I did it like three more times that week I was like oh yeah we should do this for sure and then like I had done it four times in like a week window that's a lot and then I never did it ever again that's probably a good thing I could tell like right away I was like this is way too fun right and actually one of the guys in our little – because like our little crew is like a little surf crew.

We'd always like surf in the morning and stuff. Right, right, right. And typically we would wake up, smoke weed, go surf, go to school, smoke weed again, maybe surf again, like study, whatever. And after a while I just like – I couldn't remember anything. And other people could function on a high level. Weird. And I'm just not like that. Me neither. If we smoked weed right now, I'd just be like, okay, I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to go watch a high level. Weird. And I'm just not like that. Me neither. If we smoked weed right now, I'd just be like, okay, I'm going to go to bed.

I'm going to go watch a movie and pass out. I don't want to do anything. Yeah. I'm going to eat our breakfast that we just had, and then I'm going to go to bed. Which, oh my god, was amazing. Right. So, yeah. So that was like my extent.

So when you're like, oh, I did cocaine like a hundred times. Is that a lot? I'm like, oh, quite a bit. It's a third of the year. uh it's a third of the year but it's a third of the year but i had like some solid partying years so my point well so every cocaine incident ended in probably some sexual activity maybe or maybe not um so when when think about this ryan i partied for i mean i partied hard for five years longer than that really yeah for longer than that but this is the intense time

seven five seven years yeah so when you take a hundred times over those years it's really not that many to me because cocaine was around me

all the time and it wasn't my drug of choice but the reasons why I would do cocaine is to sober me up it does do that so you can drink all night long

you can drink more so if. You can drink more. So if I had to I never really drove but if I drove somewhere I would need to do a line of cocaine. This is fucking gross I know. To imagine me having you know. But it increases your alertness. 20 drinks a week and now I'm snorting

cocaine and get behind a wheel. That's scary. And it happens. It's scary but it happens. But so cocaine was there but but again, it wasn't as much as the pills. The pills were like, oh, man, Ryan, I can't even explain to you. I don't know if you know this, but I have a brother who's hooked on heroin. Right now? Yeah. It's been an ongoing thing for – I feel bad.

My mom has to deal with it and uh he's lost a lot in his life and it's just like he just can't kick it some people can't man they say that that the average rate of someone actually kicking it the percentage rate is 10 10 of the people wow it's that low yeah it's very low fuck yeah i mean he's he was going to the methadone clinic for a little bit where they give him like the it's like a little drink or something that it has, and they try to wean you off. Right, right. But I don't know if it's like a sketchy clinic or whatever. I guess they like never were like weaning him off.

They just kind of had him at the same dose for like ever. I don't like the – it's just like you're trading one for another. I never really liked that. I don't know too much about it. I just know that like when I talk to him and stuff, it's just a different person. Totally. I was a different person. I feel bad. Totally. I mean it's just such an awful disease. I don't really even talk to him and stuff It's just Different person Totally It sucks I was a different person I feel bad

Totally I mean it's just Such an awful disease I don't really even talk to him At all It's a very gnarly disease Okay so now we're in this point Where you know

You're partying every single day Pills come back into your life When you say pills Come back into your life I'm assuming that this is Getting ready for a disaster Well pills are in my life And I'm like doing them

All the time man So we're talking like I'm taking Ryan at this point maybe 20 pills a day. Holy shit. These are 1,000 milligrams. I mean that's how high my tolerance was. But one is probably prescription for someone like – You take one every three to four hours.

With surgery, yeah. Yeah, with surgery. Exactly, right. And I'm taking four at a time, at a time, four to five at a time. I would wake up in the middle of the night at four in the morning, five in the morning, I'd have to take some because I'd start getting dope sick. Dope sick is when you're coming off of the high and your body is so used to having the hydrocodone, the opiate in your system that you get sick from not having it in. So I would have to wake up and take pills to be normal.

I'd have to take a pill to be normal all the time. I was always high. And when I wasn't high, it was a disaster. It was like, just like you see in the movies, like people trying to kick, you get diarrhea, you're fucking sweats, you get sick. It gets fucked up. It's the gnarliest pain ever.

It's not good. So you're going to do whatever you have to to get your hands on pills to be able to not feel that way so that's when they start running your life that's when you know you're fucked is when you will do anything at all costs to get a pill to get that fixed right so i'm to that point at some point in my life i don't know where we are but i also ryan my fucking memory is so fucked up. From that. Like really it is.

Like. I can't even remember like. A lot of shit that happened in my life. Because I was. There was never a point. Where I wasn't intoxicated or high. And. So.

I'm teaching. Believe it or not. Somehow I'm bartending. I. Maybe I thought teaching was the way to go. At this point I knew I had a fucking problem. And I needed to possibly cut back on the bar scene a little bit. So I got bartending. Maybe I thought teaching was the way to go. At this point, I knew I had a fucking problem. And I needed to possibly cut back on the bar scene a little bit. So I got into teaching.

But I still drank every fucking night. And did pills every night. And then now, I get to where my students, I was a PE coach. My students would smell alcohol on me. And I remember one kid saying, Mr. Paz, are you drunk? And I was like, oh, no. What? You know, freaking out.

And I would never drink before the job, but they could smell it on me the night before. Yeah. And I thought I did a good job because I was always in bed by 10. But I drank so much, as soon as I got off of work at three i was right in the bar right to the bar right to the bar right to the bar drinking drinking drinking so i drink for three or four hours take my pills so when someone smells it on you like this could be like a just a ridiculous question but like is it like basically sweating out of you i mean like you obviously your breath too let's say you probably brushed your teeth and stuff, though, right?

It doesn't matter. Alcohol is so pungent. Yeah. The smell. Especially now that I'm sober, I can smell it a mile away on somebody. It's just, you can tell when someone's tied one on the night before.

And I was doing it every night. Yeah. And so, I had a couple of cases of students saying something, and it was embarrassing, and it was just kind of like i started second guessing myself like what the fuck is happening where am i at right now in my life so at the same time ryan i told you i had five hard years of partying the last two years of my partying were

not fun anymore that's why i said i had five yard like the last two were not funny anymore it's all about getting high and drunk. Like everything revolved around that again. And you're starting to get perspective from other people, which is affecting your head. You're like, what am I doing? Right.

So I'm like, it's not about you anymore. And those, so for five years, I was still able to work out. I still able to work out and do shit. Right. And in the last two,

I quit working out. It didn't matter. Working out was, it wasn't an option anymore. This is when you started to put some serious weight on? Right. Getting bloated,

really fucking fat, just a pile of shit, and you guys, please look at the, Ryan's going to post this shit. Yeah. They're embarrassing as all fuck, but it's my story, man.

Yeah. Like, man, I don't want everyone to go down there again. You know what I mean? Like, man, I don't ever want to go down there again. You know what I mean? Like, fuck, there's some dark days. So,

I no longer, so alcohol and drugs have deprived me of what I've loved to do. I told you, I've always been an athlete. I've always loved exercise. I've always loved it.

And it's now stripped away from me because there was, I didn't, I didn't care about it anymore. It wasn't, that love and passion was gone. Um, when I saw my daughter, I was there, but I wasn't there. So there's a lot of regrets not being, you know, I mean, fuck man, I, I was so gone.

I didn't even know what was going on, you know? And so, um, I missed a lot of shit, you know, in her life growing up. And – Does she resent you for it now? No, she's so awesome. And I'll get into that, dude. She's so fucking rad. My daughter – gosh, she's such a cool daughter.

I'll get choked up talking about her. But so we go into where we're at now. I'm getting called out by these people, right? and believe it or not so towards the end i had a bartender that was sober weird she was a sober bartender and and i would come like she would realize she would see i mean i wasn't the sober bartender i know weird right she was she was in a the whole deal. It's like a vegetarian working at a meat counter. Shop tips. So she's – and you could tell like I wasn't your normal fucking just low-life Derek that just – you know what I mean? You could tell I had some potential.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So she was like, Matt, what are you doing with your life? She pulled me outside the bar. She's like, Matt, what are you doing with your life like you're fucked up like you need help like this isn't your life that's the first person who really sat you down and said that that made sense to me okay because the bartender like like of course your family probably they don't they didn't really know my sister probably knew because she knew i had some pill problem i was selling pills and eating pills and that meanwhile ryan i was also like i told you how many pills i was eating a day

i was in debt i was broke i had no money the pills cost so fuck you're talking about four or five bucks a pill and i was eating 20 a day yeah that's an expensive addiction a week yeah so i thought it was a good idea to start selling pills to make up for when you have 100 pills and you're a fucking pill addict it just enhances your addiction because you just want to eat them all you know what I mean so the fucking ship was sinking I had a

thank god I had a friend I'm teaching I'm still teaching the girl tells me this you gotta get to get your shit fixed. You're better than this. You know, I had a professional baseball player. I'm going to say his name, Jerry Weaver, who's one of my best friends to this day. I couldn't, my car was about to, I couldn't make a payment on anything. All my money was going to drugs and alcohol. And I said, hey, Jared, the repos company, I'm parking my truck at some random place so I could get up and go to work every day because they were trying to find my car to tow it. So I said, hey, can I need – I need to borrow some money to pay off these people so I can not fucking get my car towed and repoed.

And he wrote me a check. And he said, no problem. Just take care of yourself type of deal you know so i got money paid off that guy uh got some seatbelt tickets that never fucking when you're in when you're in this disease dude you just don't think about shit like yeah a seat but tickets at 100 bucks turns into a thousand bucks because it's a year later yeah like stupid shit like that registration my car i got pulled over on the side of the road it's not a joke pulled over inside the road and the cop took my car away because i didn't have registered i didn't pay for registration yeah literally i was walking on the freeway like

fuck dude i don't have a car i mean fuck like that doesn't happen to normal people it just doesn't it just doesn't like a hundred times on cocaine which i think is minimal you think it's like this this shit i can't this is but this is normal life for me, dude. Like, you know what I mean? Like, this is just how it was. And, um, I'm so excited to see how this turns into like where the beast that I am. Yeah. So, so she told me that and I knew at this point I'm in the mirror.

I'm like, dude, you'll see the picture. Those pictures that you're going to show and that was at the end, like the last hurrah. There's a picture of me. You've seen it where I'm just like – Your eyes are like half shut. Yeah, just like death is knocking on my door. And there were some times where i would walk home from the bar and pass out on the beach i couldn't make it home my heart i would

just like collapse on the beach um and wake up like an hour later like it was it was bad bro with that amount of painkillers people die people die all the time i was gonna say you could overdose easily dude easily bro and there was also zany bars involved like xanax i was on those for three years i'm just getting into the meat and potatoes and my addictions yeah but so i knew at some point i was gonna die literally it was coming dude it was coming like for real like i i easily could have already died and if i didn't i was going My heart was going to stop at some point in my sleep. Straight up. So when she told me that, I knew it was true.

You know, I needed help. And I remember December 4th. It was the guy you saw on the ride today, Josh. Yeah. It was his fucking wedding night. December 4th and we're and i go to his wedding in irvine and i just get fucked up and pilled out it's an all-day drinking affair and i'm driving and i wanted to leave the wedding and i leave and i get in my car and i'm fucking drunk yeah and i remember saying to myself, it's December 4th.

I remember saying to myself, it's time. This is it. No more. Yeah. I closed my one eye to make it home to drive 20 miles to Long Beach, Belmont Shore. I literally one-eyed it because two eyes was like fucking shit everywhere, right? Yeah. I closed one eye, Ryan.

I made it home. Went right to the bar. Fucking started partying. Oh my God. Made it. Went right to the bar. Fucking started partying. Oh, my God. Made it. Fucking closed the bar down. And then, but at that point, when I was driving to myself, I was like, please get pulled over. Please get pulled over.

I needed somebody to help me stop. I knew if I got pulled over, I was going to go to jail, and that would have been done. I would have been fucking in jail, and I would have got sober in the start of my new life. And I was okay with that way. I didn't know what to do. I really didn't. So I made it home. I can't believe you made it home 20 miles with a fucking one eyeball.

Seriously, dude. That's a fucking true story. Yeah. And then so I fucking needed to get sober and I didn't. But at that point, I knew I was ready. So then I called my sister and said, hey, this is fucked. Like, I need help. Like, what do I do here, you know?

Like, tell mom. Like, I need help, dude. Like, do something to me. I feel like everyone's first reaction is like go to a, you know, what do they call these? Like the recovery clinics? Exactly. So I said, hey, here's what I said. I said, hey, I need you to find me a center to go to.

I need you to get the fuck out of here. I can't be anywhere near here. Find me a rehab place to go. I made that phone call. And so my sister told my mom. I'm sure they were relieved. And they found some place in Santa Cruz. Camp Recovery was the name of it.

And so they signed me up in a week. And so I got to party a couple more times because December 4th happened and I made all these phone calls. And here we are a few days before. My best friend, Jared, me, Jared, my best friend, we all went to this place called Mahi. Have you heard of it? It's in Seal Beach. We'll go. It's badass fucking sushi, good steaks, bomb place in Seal Beach.

And great drinks. So we drank. We kind of toasted. You know, I knew. Ryan, I knew. Like, I knew just because of this person I am that once I was done, I was done. Like, I knew when I went to this center this person i am that once i was done i was done like i knew when i went to this center and got sober that that was it so i was it was kind of nice to be able to toast

my friends and fucking you know this is gonna be our last drink together you know yep as boys this is it like i'm fucking mean it guys like and they're like and they're super pumped that i'm because they knew i was fucked too like all my my friends knew. And my friends would never like, ever, after I'm sober, they're like, they're gonna watch me like, you're not fucking,

they would, like some people like, want you to drink. They would never, ever do that to me. Like they're my fucking friends. You know what I mean? So they knew that,

they were stoked, had the last drinks. My buddy drives me to my house. Parents are ready to go. So on December 20th, it's time to go to the clinic, recovery center in Santa Cruz mountains. Again, I had to be out of Long Beach, the area, because I knew on December 20th, it's time to go to the clinic, Recovery Center in Santa Cruz Mountains. Again, I had to be out

of Long Beach, the area, because I knew... December 20th. December 20th. Because you opened your gym December 24th. Fourth, right. Exactly.

I remember that. So I had to get... I needed to go to Santa Cruz because I didn't want to be anywhere near here. I knew the first couple days were going to be rough and I didn't want to call

my buddy up, my so-called buddy, to say, hey, come get me the fuck out of here or bring me some drugs or whatever, which could easily have been done. So I needed to get 500 miles away. So that day, that morning, I woke up, and I think I stole some pills. My sister had pills because she has lupus, so she's always got these painkillers. I stole some of her pills. I had some James. My sister had pills because she was, she has lupus so she's always got these painkillers. I stole some of her pills. I had some Jameson

shots for breakfast. I had, uh, This is the day you're going to. the day I was going in. Yeah, absolutely.

Don't forget, I don't want, sober is not, you, I can't function sober. Yeah. My body's weird. Yeah.

It's all fucked up when you're sober kicking all that shit, alcohol and drugs. So I need, I mean i was i was going over it's making you equal right exactly it's making me level out so my parents they couldn't have known i was doing this but they're drinking shots in the morning and stuff so we get in the car we're going and we i even asked him to pull over i had to use the bathroom and i at 7 11Eleven. And I went in there and got a big tall boy. Went to the bathroom and crushed a tall boy on the way to the recovery center. Oh, my God.

You really have a problem at this point. Jesus. I can't make this shit up, dude. So I get there on December 20th. And I check in. And, you know, sign me in. I hug my parents goodbye. And probably we both cried.

All of us cried. And the next day was my first day. So that's why my sober date is December 24th because I wasn't, I wasn't sober on 20th. The next day was my first day

without drugs or alcohol. And they wanted me, they asked me if I wanted Subutex, Subutex or Suboxone, which is, it's an opiate blocker.

So what you do is you take it to block the opiate. So when you kick opiates, you go through the nasty withdrawal, right? It's like awful. And this will block that sensor. But I tried this, Ryan. I tried this a year ago when I kicked the pills one time and I took the Subutex. But then you got to wean off the Subutex at the same time. And when you, as soon as you're done with that, you have the nasty withdrawal again.

It's just like, I don't know why doctors prescribe that shit. I just don't, you know, cause you're fucked from that too. And that's happened to my brother and he just, and he just went back to going. Exactly. So fuck. I was like, no, no, no guys. I don't want fucking shit. Let me, I want to kick the shit with nothing. I don't want any chemicals. I'm tired of this shit. Like, no, no, no. Guys, I don't want fucking shit.

Let me – I want to kick the shit with nothing. I don't want any chemicals. I'm tired of this shit. So you never even – oh, you never did it. No. I said, don't give me anything. Let me suffer. So put me in a fucking bed.

Put a nurse by me and let me fucking – I have – start having a seizure or whatever. Fucking save me. Whatever it takes. But I'm not taking anything. I'm in this, dude. I'm not fucking trying to fucking sugarcoat this. I deserve this shit. Yeah. Whatever it takes. But I'm not taking anything. I'm in this, dude. I'm not fucking trying to fucking sugarcoat this. I deserve this shit. Yeah.

So for three fucking days I'm laying in bed sweating, throwing up, shitting myself. Like the whole deal, man. Like, like Ryan,

this is suffering, bro. Yeah. Like this is suffering. And it's 24-7? It's nonstop, dude. You're just crawling in your own skin it's just you just gotta get through it you gotta get through it so could you sleep or not really no you're sleeping

like 30 minutes at a time and you wake up you're literally sweating your body when you're on the shit i'm on it's just like you're fucked it's so bad it's such that's why it's so that's why the percentage of people getting sober is so low because it's so easier it's so bad It's such That's why it's so That's why the percentage Of people getting sober Is so low Because it's so easier It's so much No one wants to go through That kind of pain

It's painful dude Painful But that pain Is probably something That you learned That brought you into Some painful shit Like long long races

A hundred percent Well I only It's exactly You're tying You're already tying You know Connecting the dots Which is why I was so good

At what I did. Because no pain is more than that pain. Than me suffering in that bed and being on my deathbed. So I made it out of three days. The nurse is gone. So day four you feel like... I feel a little cloudy, but I started to feel a little normal. A little fucking...

But that normal is probably equal to three shots of jameson and no no yeah exactly right exactly right yeah totally but um you're equaling out i'm equaling out and and it was kind of a cool feeling so because i mentioned it in one of my posts previously. For the last two years, there wasn't at least two years, there wasn't one single day where I didn't have alcohol or drugs in my system. Not one. Not one. I was an everyday guy. So for those three days I was off, the first three days were obviously miserable.

I get to that fourth day I start to the clouds start to get get around me and you're not allowed to work out at your first week because they just are scared of you or whatever they're scared the way your body will react to it but in the center there was this long quarter mile hill and I would literally sneak out in the morning at five in the morning and run that hill. And that's really where my fitness journey started. It was hard as shit. The first day I did it one time,

the next morning it was two days, and then it was three days, you know, three times in a row. And I kind of started to develop, I started to feel good to exercise. Okay, so 28 days later, no, 17 days later, I'm out of there. It was supposed to be 28. But when your insurance is paying for it, the insurance company will say, hey, how's Matt doing?

You're in charge of the camp. Oh, Matt's doing great. Oh, he's doing great? Okay, pull him out of here because we don't want to pay for him anymore. If he's doing awesome, get him out. And I was okay with that. Most people need 28 days. But again, I wanted to stay sober.

I was done, brother. done brother damn even so 17 days they let you go and that's all the insurance company could yeah they wouldn't pay i could stay but i would pay for sure but i'm just surprised that 17 days is all you needed i feel like people are in those things for months you could be you could be no i want it out dude i went ryan if you notice my it's impressive on your part done 17. 17 days. 17 days. But you know what's impressive is. After seven years of fucking. I went on December 21st. Yep.

What's that mean? Three days away from opening day to your gym? No. It means I was in there for the holidays. Yeah. I was away from my family on December 24th and 25th. I was with these fucking other 17 people that I didn't know. And you didn't want to know probably.

Right. Right. You know what I mean? And it was just kind of like, fuck, this is a reality, you know? So I did a lot of self-reflection in there. That probably was a good, helpful time. Totally, you know?

Like, this is like, this is my life. And you know what? Yeah, you and the 17 people that were in there, yeah, you might have looked more fucked up than me and had probably it worse off because i still had a good family my mom and dad were always awesome you know what i mean and you probably didn't have maybe a good upbringing and stuff but i can still relate to you we all had the same common problem we all had the same disease so i always picked out a similarity like you might have been a little more fucked up but dude we're the same yeah you know what I mean? Like, so I never took that,

the looks or the judge, the book by the cover. Cause you're just as sick. I'm just as sick as you brother. You know what I mean? So, um, I really felt the connection with everybody in there,

even though I didn't want to know them. I still took a piece of that with me and I got out of there. And you know, when you're in, I'll go into the recovery process. You know, I am a coachable person. You tell me to do something, I'm going to do it.

They tell you to go to AA. So I went to get a sponsor, go to AA. So I went to AA and they tell you to do 90 meetings in 90 days. I'm sure your brother can attest to this. And so they said the percentage rate goes up significantly if you do 90 meetings in 90 days. So what I do, I did like you do 90 meetings in 90 days. So what did I do? I did like two meetings every day for 90 days. I remember being in Arizona one time.

I fucking found a meeting. Literally, it didn't matter. I was going to a meeting. Wherever the fuck I was at because that's what they said to do. And I wanted to stay sober. I was scared to go back to that place. Never wanted to do it again. So I did my 90-90, stayed for a year.

And again, you said, I told you I started running, right? So then I get out six months into the steel and I love running. It's like therapeutic to me. And I signed up for, I wanted to do a marathon. So I signed up for a marathon right away. And somebody's like, you can't just do a marathon. You should like a lead-up race to a marathon and train for this and this so i did a a 15k which is 9.3 miles i signed up for that race on july 4th for july yep and i remember running in this race and the 12th step is in alcoholics and I'm going to say you have a spiritual awakening. Okay. And on that,

on that 15 K about mile four, it was an overcast day on the Navy seal course of buds in Coronado Island. Right. It was the only, the only time you get to go on there is if you're in military or if somehow you sign up for a race and they open it up for the people that are racing. Well, I, I got to be on that Island, that little Island and on the up for a race and they open it up for the people that are racing. Well, I got to be on that island, that little island on the buds for this race. And I remember being four miles in.

It was overcast. And the sun parting ways with the clouds. And the sun coming down and just kind of spotlighting me. And I'm running. And I just broke down and started crying. Like in the middle of the race. Like, fuck wow i'm six months sober this is life right now like the endorphins were in i was feeling like amazing dude like that was my spiritual awakening like this is it exercise is my fucking jam like i'm back you know what I mean so so that led to the half marathon

which led to the marathon and all while if you know running running isn't the greatest for someone my size and it's not great to run

you can't really run everyday it just beats the shit out of you so you need to do other things so someone's like my buddy was like hey you should start swimming with me so cause he's done a couple triathlons

I said alright let's go swim and we start swimming we're out in the cause he's done a couple of triathlons. I said, all right, let's, let's go swim. And we start swimming. We're not in the bay. And I was way faster than him. He's like, whoa, you're,

you're pretty fast. He's like, you should maybe get a bike and try to bike. And I'm like, all right, well, I borrowed a bike. We started biking.

He's like, dude, you're pretty solid on the bike. Maybe we should, you should think about getting into triathlon. I was like, what's that? Yeah,

I'd love to. Yeah. Signed up for a race in the Clydesdale division. Cause I was still a big, big, you should think about getting into triathlon. I was like, what's that? Yeah, I'd love to. Signed up for a race in the Clydesdale division because I was still a big, big, you know, 220 something pounds. Yeah. My face had shrunk, but I was still, but I was starting to get a little bit of a body, but I was still a big boy. And I took second place in the Clydesdale division. Oh shit.

Yeah. Like a month of training. Yeah. And, um, and then after that just that first that first race it kind of just clicked like the competitive nature it's like whatever you've done like just the competitive nature of competing against other people it's just it's just like that it's just awesome right so i was instantly all in now it was like i need now i need to get a new a real bike i need to get these real races.

So I signed for a half Ironman. Took second in that freaking Clydesdale division. Wow. Right. And then, so, uh, I started looking up Kona,

like the, the mother of all races. Yep. And I saw, I just watched the videos. I was like, whoa. It's like the Boston Marathon of triathlons.

Right. And I wanted to do that. And that's what I wanted to do. I was like, how do I do that? Like, what's the qualifying time for a Clydesdale? Oh, no, there is no Clydesdale division. I'm like, what? That sucks.

So I was like, there's no, how the fuck am I going to compete with these guys? So I just kept grinding, dude. And so I signed up for an Ironman. And I got a little coach from the pool. And I did my first Ironman. It was an Ironman brand. It was an off. So they have Ironmans, right?

But there's Ironman brand. And to qualify for Kona, you have to be in the Ironman brand. They have to own the race. But I wanted to do this race just to feel the distance out before I did my real Ironman. So I did this off. It's expensive to do an Ironman. Oh.

It's like 700 bucks? 100%. Yeah. Probably 800 now. Yeah. So I did this Ironman and meanwhile, don't forget,

I went back to teaching after I got sober but then at the time, everyone was getting pink slip which mean people were losing their jobs budget cuts that 2008 hit all kinds of shit happened right so i lost my job so i got so then people people saw me losing weight and i'm like what are you doing i'm like well i'm doing this and this i can help you so then i kind of got into personal training while i'm doing this. So I did this Ironman.

At the Ironman, I met this person named – it ended up being my business partner. I met this person there, and I actually won the race. Like overall, first place in the Ironman. And it was a fucking tough Ironman. It was in Napa. Tons of hills. Not just Clydesdale, like everybody.

Everybody. First overall. I was first overall. You crossed the finish line and there was nobody in front of you. Zero people. That's fucking badass. It was fucking awesome.

It really was. And the guy that took second is actually a famous Ironman guy. It's the guy named Cowboy, Iron Cowboy. He's the guy, if you, Iron Cowboy. He's the guy. If you've ever heard of this savage, he did 50 Ironmans in 50 days. Oh, I have heard of this guy.

The Iron Cowboy. He did 50 Ironmans, 50 days, 50 different states. Yes. He took second place. I know who you're talking about. I beat him. Wow. That's right.

Oh, that's badass. Right? So it's on. So I have this gift to suffer. So my coach was like, yeah, that's pretty good, dude. I think you got a chance at this. So we sign up for the real deal. And meanwhile, I met this girl who owns a gym in Huntington.

And I was working at this bullshit gym. And I was like, I want to go to that gym. It's kind of like a boutique-style gym. And I ended up getting busy there and then I was like how do I get in I want to be owner of this gym how do I get in so I got in to be a half owner of this gym it was called HB hits and so now I was a business owner at a you know wasn't making that – we weren't making that much money. We were making enough to get by. We weren't starving. Yeah.

Maybe $6,000 a month, maybe $7,000 a month. This is like seven or eight years ago now? Yeah. Maybe? Maybe. Well, yeah, about five years ago. Okay. Yeah, about five years ago.

Okay, six years ago. And so I set up for my real first Ironman. I'm working at the gym. I'm in the gym. And I take the first Ironman I did, Ironman brand. I come out of the – I don't know why I was good at swimming. I don't know how it happened, Ryan, but I was a pretty good swimmer. I was a pretty good cyclist, and I was a pretty good runner.

That's what makes a good triathlete is is to be pretty good at all of it all of them right all of them combined I wasn't like exceptional in anything yeah but I was top of the line in all of them and you put them all together I'm gonna fucking ride you out and I'm probably gonna do fair pretty well so uh this first tryout this first first Ironman I did, I came out of the water real fast. You know you do good when you come out of the water and everyone's bike's still there because everyone's still in the water. So I was like,

fuck, where's my bike because there's so many bikes. And I leave. This is in Louisville, Kentucky. I leave on the bike and they're like, third place, he's in third place. I'm like, fuck, I'm in third place.

This is crazy to me. All I got to do is take him to my top five and I go to Kona. This is my first time fucking doing this thing. It's insane. So I run out of my fucking marathon. I'm like running a 530. I'm like, oh, fuck. Slow the fuck down.

You're going way too fast. So at mile 16, it's like 100 degrees. It's August in Louisville, Kentucky. Long story short, I'm running at mile 16, and I swear to you, Ryan, on that 16th mile, a German shepherd came behind me and bit my hamstring. Oh, my. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, I was like.

That's how it felt. I was like, what? I locked up on my hamstring like nobody's business yeah and it just felt like and i was like limping and so little do we know if you guys aren't familiar with endurance sports there's something called the fourth discipline and that's the nutrition factor your body only processes so many calories per hour depending on how big you are you have to have a shit ton of those goos and all that stuff. You have to have – right.

You can't overdo it. You can't underdo it. You have to have so many – there's a whole science that's behind it, right? So I didn't – I was unaware of any of this. So I ended up taking tenths, but I realized I needed to learn my nutrition at the same time. So part of the thing is – so that leads me back to this iron man thing so ryan why i was so good is because i was willing to train for it like you're willing to train for it right but you're willing to suffer for it too that's what i'm saying like those three days are just probably haunting you all the time

you're you have to do three things but what makes you fast is i was saying those three days when you were going through detox exactly you know every time i was suffering in training you think about that moment always dude always and there's some long days you don't want to do it but i would it's much better than i mean i would go back to that hospital bed all the time dude like nothing else all i could think about was kona and the hospital bed kona and the the hospital bed. That's all I had a dream. And I had, I had where I wanted to be and where I had been. Right. And I wanted to be either. I wanted to be up here and I was so blessed to not be down here anymore. I was willing to do whatever I had to do. And I mean, whatever to get there, all costs didn't fucking matter. I was really, really good at suffering.

I had a plan. My coach gave me workouts. I followed him to the tee. I did the times that I was asked to run in, like my mile splits, my training, all that shit was ridiculous. I was 205 pounds

running five minute mile repeats in training like that's insane for someone my my size like anytime i did a race people were like staring at me because like who's this big motherfucker like you know i mean like i was that's like doing well in the race yeah who's like who's like in the top five for the race like i was a big motherfucker like they were like when i when i did when i did my first iron man i took 10th in that one the announcer was like whoa now that's a big man yeah i went on the loudspeaker in front of everybody you can hear it and he's like i'm passing out by the way like i went to the er after the race like the whole fucking deal yeah and he was like you guys don't understand how hard it is

for someone that size to have that time. It's insane, guys. It was just crazy because I burned so many calories, too, at 200 pounds. What was your best Ironman time? 9.40. And it was my qualifying time in Cabo. So that's the other thing. So now I knew I was close, right? My first year, I was so close.

Just needed to dial my nutrition in. But also, you have to pick the right race. So being 200 pounds, the next race I picked was a race in Idaho, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. And I come out of the water. I always have my – it was my girlfriend, my wife at the time. She was my girlfriend. I had her – she'd always signal to me what place I'm in, right?

Oh, that's cool. So I knew where I was at. And I would come out there, and she was like 15th place I'm in. Right. So that's cool. So I knew where I was at and I would come out there and she was like 15th. I'm like, fuck, how am I in 50? I had a great swim. So, but then I'm like, all right, biking is my jam. I usually, I feel like I'm really strong cyclist. And, uh, I passed and you could also on the back of your calf, you have your age number. So you can see 30, I was 30 to 34 group.

I could see, I'm like, I'm looking for these church, how to pass these people was 30 to 34 group i could see i'm like i'm looking for these church how to pass these people at 30 34 i passed not one person i get to this climb i'm going up the hill super slow but you're passing people they're just not your age group you're like yeah right exactly not the people i need to pass so long story short there's big long climbs in core lane not good for people like me and you that are that are bigger and muscular is core lane one of the harder courses? They're all hard. It's just harder.

They're harder in different ways. So that one is hard because there's a lot of climbing in it. But the weather's good. I know St. George in Utah is like one of the harder ones. That's a lot of climbing as well. Climbs as well. Yeah, exactly. So Coeur d'Alene is a long, sustained climb, which is not good for us.

So someone like me, the perfect bike course was actually Louisville. I found out cause there's up and down rollers. So what you need to do is you take someone like me, that's super powerful on a bike. I can crush the, you know, the quick little sprint up the hill and use my weight to go back down and up. And you just kind of do that and you hammer through these big bike hills. And, um, so I found a course in Mexico that was kind of suited for my ability, and that's where I freaking placed. So this was the race where my wife was like, okay. I didn't sign up for this.

Meanwhile, me and my wife are engaged, and she called the wedding off in the middle of my training. She was like, no, the wedding was – she's like, I'm not going to get married to you. I'm not going to sign up for this shit. Because I would go train. Iron Man, you're training on Saturday. You're training about six hours. On Sunday, it's about four to five hours. And I come home. And Monday through Friday is like what?

Monday through Friday, there's a couple of recovery days where you're like 90 minutes. But then like Wednesday, you're probably biking three hours and you're running probably 30 minutes off the bike. You're looking at 25 hours a week, roughly, of training. Are you lifting weights at all or just triathlon training? A little bit of weights. A little bit of weights. But the main focus is definitely triathlon training. And like I said, my first two years of Ironman and my wife,

I didn't own a TV, dude. I did not own a TV. There was not a TV in my house. All I cared about was training and reading. I read so many books on mental training. I read You Like to Climb Mountains. I read mountaineering books because those people are fucking mentally tough too because you're out there in the freezing-ass cold, and you've got to be mentally strong to climb a fucking mountain

in fucking freezing cold weather. I've done some big ones right now and it's like yeah i mean you get scared oh sure you're you're cold cold as shit it's just such a miserable right and i every time i do it i hate it right i'm like i hate this i don't know why i'm doing it this is dumb and then i get done and i look back at like the photos and like the experience i'm like i did something that 99.9% of the people can't do. Right. And I get high on that. And I'm like, yeah.

Yes, for sure. Let's do it again. Every race I've done, in the middle of the race, you're suffering so bad. I'm like, why the fuck am I doing this? This sucks. It hurts. Yeah. And then you cross that finish line and you're like, oh.

It's that feeling, but on the positive direction, times 10. I want to do it again. It's times 10, I want to do it again. It's just amazing. I want to do it again. Yeah. You know? And every time I line up for a race, Ryan, I was fucking twice the size of these fucking people, dude.

So I had to train that much harder than everyone else. I really did. Like my training had to be smarter and more intense. Like I had to really not fucking give in to any of the training. I had to do whatever it took. So my mentality, my clients hear me say it's not today. Like my focus was not today. I'm not going to get outworked today.

Because all I could think about was the person that's going to take my fucking corner slot. And I'll be god damn if someone's going to take my slot. So I'm going to outwork that motherfucker today. Not today is he going to outwork me. That's how I thought. So I have a couple questions. From when you first started running those hills in rehab to when you made it to Kona, how long is that period?

Four years. Four years. So it took you four years to make it to the most badass triathlon. It did. Not even badass triathlon. I would say most badass endurance event on the planet. Yeah, exactly. It really is. That's an incredible feat.

And my second question is, you said you're married at this time, and she's given you places. Wait, wait, wait. No, I was engaged. You're engaged. Okay. How much of your alcoholic life was she part of? Zero. She never even met me.

She wasn't even – oh, you met her out of rehab. So I met her when I met the person who I was partners with at HB Hits. Okay. Is this like one or two years into your triathloning? Yeah, like one, really. One or – yeah. She was a member of the gym. I married a member.

I think I told you the same – I mean I never got married yet, but like every person I've met since I started crossfit has been someone who walked in the gym and everyone's like dude you can't shit where you eat you know this that blah blah i'm like yo i'm letting you know right now if i don't date a girl who walks in this gym i'm not dating anyone like this is where i live right you know exactly like come 5 a.m come 5 p.m this is where you can find me right exactly i mean what else when you're like me and you i I mean, we're kind of the same. We like to fucking grind and get after it. There's no – we don't go to bars.

You're not an alcoholic like I am, but you're just – and you're addicted to exercise. I'm a fitnessaholic. Exactly. So you're right, for real. So you're not going to go out to meet girls at the bar. Like, where else are you going to fucking meet girls? You know what I mean? Like, it's Saturday morning right now.

We woke up at 5 in the morning to go – To go fucking bike ride. Like, that's what we want to do. Yeah. Like, fuck. It's awesome. Yeah. And there's not a fucking late night drink that's better than that.

Yeah. Fuck all that, you know? And then look at our breakfast. We get to eat that stuff. Yeah, that was amazing. So. Okay, so. I married my member.

Yep. And we now have three kids together. But she's telling me, she called the wedding off. She's like, I didn't sign up for this. Because I would come home from training on the weekends and want to sit in the – like the Lazy Boy and just chill. And she's like, well, let's go for a hike. I'm like, I just fucking rode 130 miles. Yeah, I'm good.

I don't want to go for a hike right now. So that was my weekend. And she had had enough. Really. She's like, you were cool. You used to be cool. At this time, she's three years in. Right.

No, we're two years in. Two years in. Okay. And she's like, done. I'm like, okay. I get it. I get it. I was like, just give me this last race in Mexico.

Let me fucking do this one more time. Because I had. I had. In Louisville. I came up short. In Coeur d'Alene. It wasn't the right race. In Tahoe.

I got fucking hurt. My knees were starting to hurt. And. And then here we are. In Cabo. I was like. Give me this last race. Let me do this.

And. She said. She agreed to it. So. We go to Cabo. I come out of the water. Third to it. So we go to Cabo. I come out of the water third. And so I'm watching her when I come out. And I'm fucking having a great bike. And triathlon is cool because it's the only sport where you can actually compete at the same exact time as the pros.

The professional studs are all competing with you. And so the amateurs, right? So I remember remember i start writing and i'm fucking who knows where in mexico but i start catching all professional women triathletes so i knew i was having a great bike split and then um i get to the run and i'm in fourth place and i knew i had a legit shot of this thing and this is my time. And so, um, meanwhile, if you don't know about triathlon, yes,

I peed myself on the bike. I peed myself in the run every, when you're competing at that level, every minute, 30 seconds matters. I'm not about to give up a minute to go fucking pee to pull over or whatever it has to do. I wouldn't either.

Um, so yeah, you, I peed myself in the bike one time. I peed myself literally on the run, which is kind of hard to do on the run, but I did it. I wouldn't either. Um, so yeah, you, I pee myself in the bike one time. I peed myself literally on the run, which is kind of hard to do on the run, but I did it. I mean, you're just kind of running and just whatever. And so, um, it was kind of cool. Um, so I remember, uh, this guy behind me who was kind of fucking chased me. I'm starting to get cramped up a mile 24 at

two miles left, kind of getting cramped up a mile 24. And this fucker's chasing me down for my spot. Right. And, um, so I'm fucking just mentally just, you don't, you,

when you're in a nine hour race, 10 hour race, there's so many emotions, so many things that go through your head. Like it's just mind fucks the whole time. You know what I mean? You go through so many emotions. Like, why the fuck am i doing this let's just quit no fuck that you know it's just talking to yourself and you gotta talk yourself out of this shit talk yourself off the ledge and um so i'm like i'm walking i'm fucking looking back i'm cramping i'm like fuck

fuck you know and i start to run again and uh the last quarter mile, we're running, and this fucker's behind me, dude. He's like running hard, so it's like a dead sprint to the finish line, and I edged him by about 15 feet. No joke. And then come to find out,

it was the guy that was in one age group above me. So it didn't matter. It didn't matter. He took first place. He was the first place guy in his age group, and I was the fourth place guy in my age group. But it pushed me. Still grateful for him He was the first place guy in his age group, and I was the fourth place guy in my age group. But it pushed me.

I'm still grateful for him because he helped me get across that finish line. Did he know who you were? He might have thought he was chasing me. I was kind of looking back. We were kind of battling. But we were probably good for each other because we just made each other the last two miles. Just finished the race hard yeah and i finished and again i you know when you're at that exhaustion you know i always need an iv bag

like you're fucked yeah it all ryan you know i've seen your hands i've seen you go through it doesn't fucking matter like when i raced i'd i would literally shoot up that morning and tell myself this this sounds crazy. Are you prepared to die today? And I had to answer that question, fuck yeah, because this is what I love to do. I love to compete. And I don't know if I was going to die. That's how hard I would push my body.

It didn't fucking matter. If I died, I'd die what I love to do. And I'm going to die fucking trying. You're going to have to fucking really work your ass off to beat me. So that was my mentality, dude. That was one of my favorite all-time quotes is Steve Prefontaine. Someone may beat me, but they're going to need to bleed to do it. Right, right.

Exactly. So that's just fucking how you think. One of my favorite quotes is, if you're breathing, you're still in the fight. If I got a heartbeat and I've got a breath in my lungs, motherfucker, you better finish me off because there's a chance I'm coming back after you yeah you know what i mean so uh i made it fucking greatest like fucking thing i ever did man it was so rad i get to kona the wife is happy it's a double-edged sword because we get married on october 22nd no october 24th and hawaii is a week and a half before that. So it's a little stressful.

And so we took our honeymoon before our wedding. We get to go to Kona, Hawaii. And I get to be with the best athletes in my space in the world. Like this is a worldwide sport. There's people from all over the world at this place. And so Ryan, when I'm with these other people, and I know in the race, the hardest part of getting to Kona is getting to Kona, right?

Once you're there, I'm lucky to be there. So I knew, for me to work my ass off in my age group, for me to bust my ass and have the best time that I can be, I'd still take 100 plays. That's the competition there. That's how fast these people are. Because no matter what, I can't compete. At 200 pounds, I can't compete with a 140-pounder. Oh, yeah, because there's no Clydesdale division.

There's zero. So I'm just happy to be. I picked the right race. I worked my ass off. I did what I had to do to get there. And now I'm with the best in the world. And there's nobody my size there. I mean, I'm telling you, I was the fastest person in the country at my size.

I promise you that. No one goes to the Boston Marathon at 205 pounds. I went to the Boston Marathon. I fucking ran sub-7 miles for 26 miles to get there. That was easy for me. Like, after doing Ironman to go run a sub run a fucking seven-minute mile in Boston was easy. I was a great runner at my size. Nobody could do that at 200-plus pounds.

Nobody, dude. Nobody. So it was, again, because I like to suffer. So at this time, if you were a triathlete and you were looking up like badass athletes, would you pop up everywhere? Or were you not in the sport long enough really for people? Well, you would be like, there's that big motherfucker right there. You'd know me. I'd go, there's that big son of a bitch right there.

You know what I mean? Like I just stood out, dude. Like I was definitely one of the top guys. But when you put all the top guys in the world together and you have one that's 200 pounds, a 200-pounder is not going to compete. It's fucking the ratio of riding a bike when you're 40 pounds heavier and running. It just doesn't. So there's not a lot of fame in the Clydesdale division, really?

There is no Clydesdale division. It doesn't exist. Not in Kona. Oh, if I was to take. No, not zero. Yeah. There's no. So, I mean.

I just remember looking at a triathlete magazine one day and seeing somebody who was in the Clydesdale division. Because I remember looking at this magazine. I think I was looking for bikes, you know. I started getting into road biking. And I saw this guy um on a bike and i was like that guy's fucking jacked i'm like he's doing triathlon and i and i went to the article and he was a clydesdale and that was when i found out that there was a clydesdale division so then i was thinking if you're you know so they don't so they have a clydesdale division world championships

what's for the international which is the olympic distance and I thought about doing that but and I looked up the first place time to see I'm like I would honestly crush it it'd be like I'd crush it by like 15 minutes I was above and be like those guys can't run like I can't run they just can't do it I was an exceptional runner for that for someone that of my size like they could be comparable bikers i was a fairly good swimmer but when they run i would outrun anybody my size anybody so um yes i already knew and they there's no way that lies down that one there's no way he's going to kona zero shot none so um me to me the defeat was me going to kona like that was like the best like i'm telling you i'm pound for pound there's nobody better at my time. I promise you.

That's fucking awesome. And you can fucking, anybody out there that says, look them up, find somebody that's better than me at that weight, you're not going to find it. I love the confidence.

So, um... Well, it's a fact, fucking actually. I mean, what are you going to do? Right? Okay, so now Kona's done. What gets you from, I mean, fuck, I... So I just had a good time. I told you, it didn't matter. Kona was my. What gets you from – I mean, fuck.

So I just had a good time. I told you. It didn't matter. Kona was my victory lap. Yeah. I just fucking cruised the race, had a bitching time. I wanted to experience the hell out of it. I stopped to pee on the bike.

You know what I mean? I just was like taking it all in. It's like we weren't riding today. I kind of just take the whole thing in. That was my experience at Kona. Loved every bit of it. Done with it. Now it's time to go back that's what i'm saying right you got to be addicted to something now right you have addictive

personality right so so i go back to work right and um it's time to so i still competed and stuff but my knees were starting to get jacked up from all the running i told you so when you're 200 pounds it's just running on these knees and i've done six iron man i've done 10 marathons in this like they're always always racing there was no off season for me it was always signing for something so there was just a lot of miles on my body and so i crushed myself very fastly and um but so i told you i had the business for that part of the whole time right i had that business partner well i was – now we're getting into business. So I was just – even though I was 50% owner, I was just a worker there.

I didn't handle any of the things, any of the books. It didn't feel the way you wanted it to feel. I was just training clients. Yeah. All I did. She did everything. We fought a little bit. I had no control.

Okay? So – and what I saw was i saw the business before it was going down going down i could see the writing on the wall different gyms were coming into play and i knew we were in trouble and i had my wife and we had a baby girl and then we had another one on the way and it's like this isn't gonna make it dude so uh we and i we also lived in huntington so we bought a place in west garden grove and i remember driving around west garden grove and seeing some of the active people who are active out there in that community you know and i was like there's no gyms out here with what i want to do with my vision so i went back

to my business partner i said you have uh have, uh, you have one option. That's to buy me out or I'll find somebody else to buy my place and you'll have this partner. Cause I want out. Yeah. And it was a little bit of this and that. And, um,

came up with a number and she bought me out. It was the fucking greatest day of my life. Now with my business partner, like I learned a lot from her, but I learned a lot. her. I learned a lot. She was smart on some things. Everything happens for a reason, Ryan. Everything happened.

I learned what I needed to learn and I also learned what not to do. How not to treat people. How not to do this and do that. You know what I mean? I think that's really important too. Very. There's a lot of people who want to open a gym

and they haven't really worked at enough gyms. They haven't like done enough at – I mean I just feel like you need to be part of five, six gyms before you even know what you want. To see the good and the bad and how what doesn't work. Or if you're not part of five or six gyms, let's say you're part of one or you're part of none and you travel a shit ton for work, right? And you're at these gyms for like a week at a time, a month at a time or something. You've had the ability to experience a lot of gyms. You don't know what you want. Right, exactly.

Even if you go to one, you're like, this is bitching. And then all of a sudden you go to another one and you're like, oh, wow, this is more bitching. You know what I mean? I tell everybody all the time, and I've been doing this for years, is like, I don't even care. If you love the gym you go to, check out the other ones in the area you have no idea you just don't know what you're getting well it's funny it's funny you say that because so i had my vision and i told her to buy me out and now it's like okay i got the i i found my location took me it took me six months negotiating i had to go to the city all this other crap and your spot's dope

and I love my spot and but it was that it was almost I wasn't going to get it and if I wasn't going to get that location I don't know what I would have done that location is right off the freeway

so you can come from Costa Mesa and it's not very hard it's just like oh it's not that bad it's right off the freeway I can still recruit from all these other cities

because it's so accessible so that's why that location was that key for me. That's why I like my spot too. Right after freeway. You can go right there. 55 is right there. Yep.

Right? So it had to be that spot. So now I have my spot. Now it's like, what am I going to do? It comes back to what you just said. So what I did was I went to like five different gyms. Five successful gyms that were doing what they were they were doing it right and making money and we talked about one this morning

exactly orange theory fitness right so I went to orange theory I went to 12 and I went to berries and I went to one in LA and I kind of went to a spin class you know I mean just certain ones that were making why were they making money yeah why were they making money what are they doing right what I don't like that I don't like that i don't like that but i like this i grab a piece of everything and kind of make my own what what i want to do you know what i mean and so um and that's what i did like we both said we don't like that orange theory but they're killing it they're doing something right so i took a little bit of orange theory with it you know i did i mean i had the treadmills i did this and do that you know what i mean and so um i made my gym and uh i let's go back to how i did it okay because it still costs money to open a gym you have a partner yeah no i so so i had a partner so what

i did was my parents this whole time are amazing. I needed money, right? I thought I needed like $50,000 or something like that, which was crazy because I needed way more than that. So they gave me, I think they took a HELOC, a home equity line of credit out at a percentage rate, and I'm paying them back. So I think I took 100 grand from them. But I wasn't enough. I had my 50 grand of me and then I needed more money. So I had two strategic investors. One of them that was born and raised in West Garden Grove,

knew everybody. And I got him together and then I got the local real estate team in the area, Team Takenese. I could have gone to Jerry Weaver probably or another client of mine and said, hey, here's what I need. Do you want to be an investor in this gym? But I went to these people because he had grassroots in the area, and if he was involved, he'd be pushing people to the gym. And at Team Takenese they their marketing was second they were all over the place marketing wise and they knew everybody because they were the biggest realtors in the in the

community and i liked that so i wanted them involved so i had watched shark tank i didn't know what i was doing ryan like you know what i mean like but i watched shark take a lot because they were my business mind was talking about being addicted i was starting to get addicted to business and how it worked. I was always talking to my rich clients that have money and businesses and just kind of getting the business sense out of them. I didn't know very much about business when I opened mine either. I didn't know shit. And I was a business owner, but I didn't know shit when I worked.

I didn't do anything. I knew what equipment I wanted, how the workouts were going to be, how I was going to treat everybody, how – if I wanted a front desk person or how many hours I wanted coaches to work because I didn't feel burned out. But I just didn't know anything about like – Numbers. I didn't fucking know that you had to have like a DBA, like a doing business as. Business as, right. I'm like, why the fuck do I need all this shit? I don't even know what this is.

Why am I paying this tax bill? You get these random – Equipment tax bills Like yeah Weird like I don't even know Where they are Just pay them

I seriously don't even know What it is You don't even pay 150 bucks You don't pay them You have that I asked Matt one time What happens if this happens

Or that happens I don't fucking know This girl He has like a manager She just does everything I don't fucking know Your car doesn't work I don't fucking know I have no idea That just does everything. Yeah. I don't fucking know. Your car doesn't work? I don't fucking know.

I have none. That was so funny to me. So I don't have any. So I need more money. So I had these investors and I don't know how to ask them. But I watched Shark Tank. I'm like, I'm going to fucking go in there like Shark Tank. I sat down in their office and I said, here's my business model.

Here's what I think I can do. And here's how much money I think I can make. Straight up. And I showed them numbers. I showed them your month one to month 12 and month 12 to month 24. Are you telling me you're on Shark Tank right now? No, I felt I was.

Oh, I was like, no, no, no, but I felt like I was, that's how in my mind I was like, that's how I was sitting with these investors.

These were, they were both successful businesses and I'm trying to get money at them. And, um, fuck, they both said yes. Cool. They both said yes. I'm like, but you know what's funny? They didn't care really about my business at all.

They cared about me. They're like, and they told me at the end, they're like, we're not investing in your business. We're investing in you. We can tell you're fucking about this, and you're going to make this work. So we're all in with you. That's how I feel about pretty much everybody I meet. Right? It's like, whatever. You seem like you're going to fucking do this. You're going to do it right, and you're going make this work yeah so we're all in with you that's how i feel about like pretty much everybody i meet right it's like whatever you seem like you're you're gonna fucking do this you're gonna do it right and you're gonna fucking be all in yep so uh i was

all in dude i got their money and we're off and running and fucking christmas eve comes around so i knew i need to be open january 1st my i got the lease to my building and i asked for it as is because i knew if i wanted them to do the tenant improvements, it would have been on their time, and it would have taken them forever. Well, I was on a deadline to get the New Year's rush. You know, everyone wants to get in shape after New Year's first, after the New Year. So I needed to get open. So I opened. I got the gym up and running, and December 24th, the gym gym was ready and i didn't know what the fuck was

going to happen but i opened the doors meanwhile december 5th i'm out in the community holding a sign saying west grow fitness is coming we don't even exist yet here's a you know a business card please come check the gym out it's gonna be awesome i'm by myself out there yep don't know anybody but i'm fucking doing it i put myself on the line you know i'm doing whatever it takes just to get my name out there and christmas eve comes around 50 people show up i'm pretty stoked yeah that's pretty good you know what i mean day one 50 people and then that week people kept coming in people kept coming in people kept coming in and then by month one i had 100 memberships like that were on the roster 100 so So a gym of success from day one.

That's pretty amazing, dude. Because I got 100 members my first day with a huge name in the community. Yeah, I didn't have a name. That's what I'm saying. For you to have that? Yeah. I mean, Orange Theories get a couple hundred members on first day, but they're a chain. Right.

For you to have, for a random guy to have Dude, random. I mean, you were a triathlon fucking champion but nobody No one knew that. I didn't have Instagram, dude. Yeah, and social media didn't exist. I just started putting, I had even in my first business with my business partner I didn't have social media. I got it as I was

fading away because I knew I needed it. I got Facebook because I know I needed to get my name out there somehow. Yeah, you have to. So I got Facebook and that's how I between that and me standing in the grocery store and handing out shit and doing this. And now that's dead and now it's like Instagram time. Right, right. So I didn't

I didn't know what I was doing, but I was doing it. And so after so year one, you know, I'm like, fuck, you know, I love I love my investors, but I want this to be mine. So I bought my first investor out and, and he was stoked. He got some money and that was that. And then year two, I expanded another thousand feet, which you, which you've worked out in my other, my other, my other half, my 2000 feet.

And I bought, and I just bought my other my other half my 2,000 feet and I bought and I just bought my other investors out six months ago and in um in six months I'll have paid everyone off and uh all expenses paid for you know just pretty pretty cool my business and I think I have some great trainers the clients I have are freaking unbelievable like you talking about a community that we really do some cool stuff at our gym. Everyone knows everyone. I throw a party for everyone. I throw

a 4th of July workout. It's just such a cool vibe in my gym. I just can't explain it. I'm stoked to be where I am. That leads me to Instagram. I just started my instagram thing yep which kind of sits me here right here today with with you so i didn't know shit about so my gym is running and it's successful we're doing well i'm stoked we're doing better than my numbers and i thought

way better right but there's still you have to think one step ahead. You always have to be thinking about everything that you could be doing that you're not doing. I mean even today, since we've been on this podcast, I'm like it's Saturday. It's 9 o'clock in the morning. What else could I do today? What's the next step? Yeah, what could I do to get ahead? I think that for those of you guys who don't know like me and matt's relationship is

like matt always hit me up on instagram was like trying to reach out and then like let me get asked what first of all the reason why i was hitting him up was because i guys i didn't have instagram three months ago literally so i decided to get it and um someone was like okay so follow this person this person this person And I was following them. And that's cool. But they put out good stuff, but I didn't fucking, whatever. And then my person said, one of my, Joel said, hey, this guy's got a challenge, 100 calorie or salt white challenge,

which you don't remember. I remember a 50 cal one. Whatever. So his name popped out. Ryan Fisher's name popped out. So when I got Instagram, I was like, I'll follow this fucking guy.

And so I started following this guy and I'm like, his shit started relating to me. Like what he was doing was what I want to do. Like the content he was putting out was in my eyes is a feather in your cap was better than these world famous guys that I was following you know what I mean like your shit was more relating to me like you a were about the grind like we're the same as far as mentality like did you see that in my posts or in my stories kind of both I just kind of I kind of saw it like because I feel like sometimes I don't put enough out there about my

gym and like that I'm a gym owner and like what i do on the daily no i could see it dude that's cool yeah and then and then there was there's just some cool like some cool posts and um i was like i was telling me and this guy would hit it off it'd be fun to fucking do shit together you know so that's what so now ryan's to the point where that so that's how i just started following ryan like two months ago yeah and i was like relating to the business part of him I was relating to. But then like the cool shit, the fucking grind, the working out. Like I want to work out with this guy. Who else is – I want to be fucking crazy.

Who wants to do crazy shit with me? I want to do crazy shit with him too. I got to reach out to this fucking guy. So I would DM him like on a bike ride like, oh, you like to ride bikes? So do I. Let's ride bikes. And sometimes he responded. Sometimes he wouldn't.

I remember looking at, and I, I didn't even know your Kona story, but I, I'd watch you riding. And like, I could tell you were going pretty fast. And I could,

I could also tell that like the kit that you're wearing, which is like the spandex. I'm like, that doesn't look like a regular, that looks like a sponsored outfit. Like, I don't think this guy knows that I'm riding for fun right i'm pretty sure he's like raping and pillaging people as he goes for a ride and i don't want to get embarrassed right i i i'm embarrassed for him to find out that i'm not riding very hard and i knew that and i was okay

with it though yeah i i knew that it's still fine. Yeah. But I still, I thought we would have a good vibe. Yeah, and we did. And I was just like, it was just like, how do I make that connection? So we ended up, he ended up doing a podcast, like he said, right behind my gym. And he saw my gym. He's like, oh, this is a rad gym. You want to work out? I'm like, fuck yeah.

Why don't we work out? He has a shit in his car all the time. So we fucking crushed the workout. And then, fuck, you saw what we did today you know it's like there's nothing better than being on our bike outdoors and doing cool stuff and we we both love to be outdoors and and do rad stuff and and sweat and get near death and work hard you know he's a hard worker and uh that's why that's why he's crushing it you know in the in the business life you know and so um that's how I'm here on this podcast, Crazy Story Full Circle.

But what I think is cool though is you didn't have Instagram three months ago. Really? Right? Literally. So you're starting to build a following. For those of you guys who have been following me for a while, I went to Dubai for the world championships for fitness a few times. And I have a really good friend out there. His name is Tanner Shuck.

Tanner, what up? And he won the world championships out there. Um, he went to regional several times, just a solid dude. He's, you know,

doing a bunch of cool stuff out there, training people at different gyms. And I think he's going to be opening his own gym here soon, but, um, he's in Dubai, you know, Dubai.

Yeah. And like like i talked to him all the time and i made a post recently with me and matt together riding and he messaged me and he's like dude i follow that guy he's fucking awesome and i'm and i'm like dude how do you follow this guy like who just started he just started instagram you know like he's like trying to figure it out. We haven't had any correlation with each other at all. So it's not like he would have saw him because I followed him or anything like that. And it just goes to show you that three months ago, Matt didn't have Instagram.

Now he does. He has a few thousand followers now. He happened to bump into someone like me who could tag him and stuff, put him on a podcast with a couple hundred thousand downloads a month. Badass. All these little things will happen if you just keep fucking attacking it. I think if you listen to this story, you attacked training. You attacked getting sober. You attacked – And there's one post, Ryan, that really fucking hit home.

You attacked the gym life. You attacked the Instagram life. Now you're attacking everything. And I feel like it's just not luck. People think like, oh, you're so lucky. You're so lucky. And I love this line that I read somewhere. And it says that luck doesn't exist.

It's only preparation meeting opportunity. Sure. And I think that when you listen to that right now, you're going to replay that all day in your head. You're going to be like, fuck. That was such an incredible line. Right. It's like preparation meets opportunity. Right.

Like the three days that you suffered in the fucking hospital bed, all the miles you put into those knees that are all fucked up right now, like the drinking that happened for seven years or plus, but like the hard seven years. The 100 times of cocaine. The 100 times of cocaine. The 100 times of cocaine, right? All these different things. It's just – it really is its own preparation.

It's your story. It's your preparation for whatever your story is meant to be. And like whatever it is meant to be is meant to be. And I feel like at the road that you're at, it's going to be fine. Um, and I feel like the people who know, like the people who know that it's going to be fine, it's going to be fine. Right. It's just, that's just the mindset. You just got to keep going and keep pushing. Like, and, and, and like I said, what I was wanting, what I was grabbing my phone for was the, the post that you made, which I kind of share to people was the post when you had your

cell phone out and it's a picture of you, your cell phone out and you're share to people was the post when you had your cell phone out and it's a picture of you with your cell phone out and you're talking to people on basically you were talking to me dude it was what you were doing at least that's what I felt for those of you who are new to Instagram and you kind of just went

it was a nice fucking it was some good content on basically how to start I remember most of it if you want me to say it well it just hit home and then I was riding with Ryan. And last week we were talking. And he was like, what's the next move for you? And he's like, you end up wanting to do a – what would you call it?

It's like a course. Like a course. And I'm like, fuck, dude. Brilliant because you're so good at it. You have a knack. And you obviously have a strong following. But your content is so good and it's very relatable

and it gave me confidence. It just gave me confidence that I could fucking do this. That's fucking awesome. It's like, fuck everybody else. Fuck the haters because they're going to be out there. It's like, you're doing this for you and you're doing this for your business and you're doing this because this shit works.

Basically, that post and what we're talking about right now is the phone in front of your face totally and the insecurities that follow that so like you're like oh like i don't want someone to look at me and be like oh he's on his phone he thinks he's cool or whatever but you're gonna see somebody at some point on instagram and be like man i wish i had that life and the reason you don't is because you're not putting yourself out there. Right. You know what I mean? You're lazy.

That's all it is. You're insecure and laziness. It's just insecurity. Right. So like – so fuck it. Like put the phone out and do a little bit of talking. Like maybe you'll pick up some guy named Tanner who lives in fucking Dubai that you didn't even know. I just found that out.

And I think that's awesome. You know what I mean? So rad. I mean that's just the energy that's getting put out into that space. Right. And someone's going to pick it up. And I try to tell people the same thing when it comes to like making money in business. Oh, I need a million followers.

Like I would do better if I had this or if I had that. It's like no. Like I have 170,000 followers. 172. 172,000. And I know for sure that I can bring in more money than friends of mine who have 4 million followers that I know of. Right. I have a friend – I have multiple friends I have in the millions of followers, and they're just not as good at converting it because the connection with the people is not there.

It's not the same – it's not – the trust value is not there. You know what I mean? And I had a girl on my podcast one time, and I've said this on multiple podcasts. She had 9,000 followers and was making seven figures a year. Killing it. Yeah. It's crazy. You know what I mean?

It's just – there's a lot of people buying followers. There's a lot of people who are getting followed because they just have a fucking giant butt cheek. Right. Right. You know what I mean? Some weird shit. Yeah.

They have some weird fucking growth growing out of their face.'ve made followers like you have no idea what it could be but hopefully it's you're getting followed for like passion and right you know good energy and all these things and if that's the case you're gonna fucking crush and and it comes down to who cares like and you and another post you you posted like i don't know i didn't three months ago i still don't have an idea where i'm going with it, but I'm going hard on it. I'm going to fucking work my ass off on Instagram and do my thing and put myself out there, put my story out there. I'm going to go

hard and I kind of have a direction I'm going, but I still don't know exactly, but something's going to come to me. Yeah, you don't need it. Right? Something's going to come to me. I don't know exactly what avenue I'm going down, but I'm going down an avenue. I'm creating one right now. You know what I mean't know exactly what avenue I'm going down, but I'm going down an avenue. I'm creating one right now. You know what I mean?

By going hard. I'm going, I'm all in. So you can't kind of tiptoe into it. You can't just cut, you got to be all in. You know what I mean? If you're all in on everything all the time, I always say somebody will notice

and something will happen. Right. And then good connections happen. Exactly. Like this one right now. It's because I'm all in. Yep. I'm all in.

And Ryan's all in. It's fucking, look at his shit. Look at mine. I'm all in, And Ryan's all in. It's fucking – look at his shit. Look at mine. I'm all in, dude. You can tell that people are all in. I'm just a few years back, but I love what I do. I have passion for it.

And again, I couldn't be more happy. I'm right where I need to be right now, and I'm stoked with it. You know what I mean? All that bullshit in my life, that all happened for a reason. I'm right where I need to be right now. You are right where you need to be right now. No further, no less. I'm happy that when I was young, my mom always told me like if you wind up getting a job that you hate or you're at McDonald's or something and you're really embarrassed about it, like no matter what it is, I want you to know that like if you are the best employee there, good things will happen to you.

My mom fucking told me that that and I never forgot it. And like everything I did, even if I hated, I had so many jobs I hated, but I was the best job at the one that I fucking hated. And because of that, I was always given opportunities that the people who weren't the best

weren't given. Good work is hard to find. Like good work. It really is. As you're a business owner now, you know who works their ass off and you're going to always take care of that person. Yes.

Always. 100%. You might not be able to take care of them right now, but I guarantee you're going to scratch their back all the time because they're working their ass off. So my last question before we finish this off

is now that you're in this position and you have four daughters. I have four kids. I have a loving wife. My wife is awesome. I have my 21 year old who you asked me how my how she was now god i'm so proud of her she's she's going to nursing school she's 21 she's going nursing school she lives at my parents four miles down um she takes care of my

her sisters she babysits them she's just the raddest kid i had the you know in sobriety i've had the best relationship to come back you know um it's just everything happened for a reason and I get to enjoy it now with her you know I get to um and then like I wasn't there for her birth and I had my wife and I have had our first baby and I got to talk about like I explained this to you the other day like that's why why it was, and the reason why I was so emotional for me, because I wasn't at my oldest daughter Kylie's birth and to see my child coming into the world, like the three year old, three years ago, or no, she's four now. Sorry.

She just turned four. It was the most incredible experience I've ever experienced. And cause I always thought, I don't want to fucking see that. It's weird. Like, you know what I mean? But when you're in that moment, dude, I can't explain it enough how rad it is to see your baby's first breath, to hear the first cry, and then I wanted to do it again. And then I wanted to do it again. It's just so cool, man.

I don't know. Being a dad is so rad. So being a dad is by far the coolest thing. Being fucking business owner of something you love to do is second best. Like being able to make money at something you truly love to do, you're winning, dude. But it's also great to have a bucket list. Like what would you call it? Like a bucket list, like incredible hard feet. Oh, sure. Like the Kona thing. Oh, yeah yeah like for me doing a bunch of other things i've done in my rad shit right you look back and you're like oh i'm so glad that i did that guys as i get older i love to look back at these old

photos and just be like oh my god i can't believe i did that and like just like sit there in the moment and just like and that brings me to the other thing you so you know what's also cool about having your phone on you at all times? Your life is documented. Like I wasn't on my phone that much. I didn't care about it. Like you're so lucky that you were on your phone. You have your whole life documented. You're never going to miss out on a memory.

It's rad. Those are memories you're going to have forever, dude. Like that's awesome. I know. When I was younger, we still didn't have cell phones yet. So like I missed out on a lot of cool document right right documented stuff i'm super bummed on that but you got some cool shit also i mean yeah i got a lot of where haven't you gone right now i mean really so at this point though this is important to me just

for my own future um is now that you have these four daughters now you've gone through all the stuff that you've gone through now that you're at this place in life that you're stoked on you know a lot of things that a lot of 20 year olds don't know you've gone through, now that you're at this place in life that you're stoked on, you know a lot of things that a lot of 20-year-olds don't know. You've been through a lot of things that a lot of 20-year-olds haven't been through. What is, like, your core, like, what's, like, the, I don't know what the word is, but, like, what are the core things that you want to teach your kids as they grow up when it comes to, like, becoming what they want to be, like, like, for me, I always like to say, like, don't stress about, like, exactly what you want to do.

I feel like it will come into fruition as you just are passionate about everything you do type of thing. Are you going to tell them to never, no, never do, you know, don't go out with your friends and don't get into drinking. You have to experience life. You have to kind of go down the wrong path to find the right path. Your core values,

that's the word I was thinking of. You know what I mean? I just kind of, you want to guide them in the right direction. I want to guide my kids in the right direction, but I also want them

to experience whatever they want to experience. Because typically when you say no, it means yes. Yeah, you say no yeah you say go right they're gonna go left yeah you know what i mean so so how's that feel for you right now it's gonna be you know especially being an alcoholic and addict knowing that the chances it's hereditary sometimes you know what i mean i could pass that gene on and so um i also know i

can't stop it you you can't help somebody get sober. That person has to want to get sober. Nobody could tell me to get sober. It had to come from me. That's why I'm successful because I didn't get sober for her. I didn't get sober for him. I didn't get sober for anybody. I got sober for me.

And nothing would have changed that. You know what I mean? That's what pretty much everybody says, that 10%. Right, exactly. When someone else, yeah, you might do it for her, but that's only going to last so long.

It might last a year or two, and then you're going to be back on the fucking train wreck. The true 10% that I've ever heard on other podcasts, I've never had a lot on mine, but they usually say like I did it for me,

and I was only going to stop for me. Exactly. So I had to go through what I had to go through. Everybody has to hit their rock bottom, you know, and I hit mine. And the sad part is is hit their rock bottom. And I hit mine.

And the sad part is everybody's rock bottom is different. Some people's rock bottom is death and they don't ever get to come back from it. Some people's rock bottom is a DUI. Who knows what it is? You just have to experience it. So that's going to be the rough part is if I see one of my kids getting into it

and you can't do anything about it because they have to do it for them. So I'm just going to give them every opportunity that I can and let them live life the way they want to live, get into whatever they want to get into. I want them to play sports. If they don't want to play sports, they don't want to do something else, well, support the shit out of it. And hopefully it leads to something they love and you know, and they have passion for that. Like you said, my mom always told me good works hard to find. So whatever they're good at, let them do it all in. Go all in.

You know what I mean? And good things come from people that go all in. Fact. Is there anything now in your past that you wish you would have changed? Or do you feel like it all needed to happen? It all needed to happen. The only thing, I mean, the only thing I – there's two things I wish you would have changed? Or do you feel like it all needed to happen? It all needed to happen. The only thing, I mean, the only thing I,

there's two things I wish I would have done. One for business, which was start my Instagram a lot earlier in my corner career because my training was sick and I think a lot of people would have been like, I want to follow that guy because he's fucking insane.

You don't have anything? Nothing. Not even a photo? No. I mean, I have some photos, but my workouts were stupid. You know what I mean? What I was doing was gnarly. Do you remember some of them?

Oh, yeah. I have a ton of them. Every Thursday, you should do a throwback Thursday and be like, here's a photo. This is my workout? Well, I'm going to train you for a half Ironman. Yeah. Ryan's going to do a half Ironman. We're thinking about it.

I'm throwing it out there. I want to train him to do one. I want him to experience a little bit of it. Triathlon changed my world, man. It's like, it's just such a rad sport. The people that do triathlon are just rad.

It's just, they're just so welcoming. It's just my knee now for the running. Yeah, running is tough. It's just a good time. But, where were we?

So, you wish you had Instagram? Instagram, and I wish I played football. But, again, I don't wish... You wish you went football

instead of baseball? Yeah, kind of. Because I loved football. I really did. don't wish – You wish you went football instead of baseball? Yeah, kind of. Because I loved football. I really did. Again, I was thinking about my professional career. So that would have been Fresno instead of Long Beach? I probably would have went to San Diego State.

San Diego State. That's probably where I probably would have gone. Okay. But again, I don't – everything happened for a reason. I truly believe that. For me, I had a lot of bad stuff in my past too. And when people ask me that question, I say I think I'm good. I'm good. Oh, I just wish I would have played football because it would have been fun.

But I don't wish I would have gone back in time and changed it. My only thing I regret at all is I really wanted to go in the military. Dude, so – I wish I would have done just one tour as like a special – A Navy SEAL. Navy SEAL is what I wanted to do. Me too. I read all these books. I told you I didn't have a TV for two years. All I did was a Navy SEAL. Navy SEAL is what I wanted to be. Me too. Like I, I read all these books.

I told you I didn't have a TV for two years. And I was, all I did was read and Navy SEAL books were one of them. I got sober at the age of 31. So like I was too old, but had I got sober at 26 or 27, you bet your ass I would have been a SEAL sitting right here. Guaranteed.

And I'm, I'm happy. Like two, two weeks ago I had Travis Kennedy on and he was a Navy SEAL. I got to listen to that podcast. And he's a member of my gym and he's, is he really? Yeah. Oh, badass. Dude, he's fucking so cool. And he's a member of my gym. Is he really? Yeah, dude.

Oh, badass. Dude, he's fucking so cool. That's awesome. And you hear his stories and stuff and it's just – it's great. I've had – I got to talk to all these people and I feel like I've lived a little bit of it. Experienced a little, yeah. Which is kind of cool. That's like one thing I love about the podcast is I get to like put myself in these people's shoes as they talk about it.

And like when you were just talking like 30 minutes ago about being in the Ironman, I could see you like kind of dazing out. Yeah, you just like reliving it. I'm just like putting myself there. Because like I've been in like, you know, gnarly competition settings. And I'm just like, oh. And I've been to Kona, you know, and I'm like, I wonder what it's, you know, like in my head. Yeah.

And it's just cool to feel all that. All right. So where can everybody find you right now? Actually, you know what? I know a lot of your gym owners, a lot of your gym members are going to listen to this episode they are is there anything that you want to say to them right now i just want to say guys i hope i didn't scare you off with those stories no you guys uh you guys know me man i'm passionate what i do i love what i do and um i think we have the best gym i just think we have the best community that's what makes us and i appreciate i love my gym members like there, my family, just as you do.

You talk about family. That's my family, dude. This is your home. That gym is my home. We're there so much. And everyone that walks in is my family, dude. And I love my family. And so they all know that.

They all know how much I am passionate about them and what goes on in that building. That's awesome. So, yeah, you can find me at MattPaz28. And you'll probably see me riding with Ryan. We made a connection. I think we're going to be rolling around for a while. Yep, MattPaz. And then Instagram for the gym?

West Grove. How do you know it? Lexi. Ask Lexi. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Fuck it. Oh, my God.

I'm so happy to have the episode on that right now. Lexi's going to love this. Oh, Jesus. Well, it just goes to show, like a real gym owner, it's just not all there all the time. You've got a lot on your mind. We are. So much. But Matt has great, inspiring stories, guys. MattPaws28 on his Instagram. Look at my picture on Ryan's. You're going lot on your mind. We are so much. But Matt has great inspiring stories, guys.

MattPaws28 on his Instagram. Look at my picture on Ryan's. You're going to laugh. Oh, yeah. You're going to put this, my voice to a face and you're going to be like, whoa.

Like, whoa. How did that happen? It's crazy. You know, it's funny when we actually met, we basically had the exact same truck in the same color. I know, I know.

Yeah, pretty crazy. Well, all right, guys. I hope you guys loved this episode. Stoked to be here. Thank you, Ryan, so much for having me right on, dude. What a cool day with the ride and then talk. Yeah, this is great. And I love the inspiring story.

And I think that people – there's going to be a lot of people out there that can really connect to this one. There's a lot of people out there who have had some sort of issue at some point, some sort of addiction at some point. And it's just – it's great to hear other people's stories. Come out of it, man. It's hope. It can happen. Yeah. It's not even just a recovery story.

It's an inspiring athletic feat story. You got to go to Kona. You own a gym now, which is great in our space. A lot of these people who listen to these episodes, they own gyms. You don't just own a gym, though. You own a thriving gym, which is great. And I'm a cool dad yeah a cool you know i'm a family man at the same time for those of you guys who don't know his gym literally

makes as much money as my gym and he lives in a much different part of town just like my rent's a lot more and stuff like that so he's doing well um all right so i'll see you guys next week be sure to follow matt um if you guys follow my instagram you'll see him from time to time on my instagram we'll be riding around and and working out i'll be over here too getting getting Next week, be sure to follow Matt. If you guys follow my Instagram, you'll see him from time to time on my Instagram. We'll be riding around and working out. I'll be over here too. Sometimes Ryan likes to come to my gym because he likes to get away from his gym. So now it's time for me to get away from my gym to come to his gym.

You really have to do that. You have to get out. As a gym owner, you guys have to go work out in other places for sure. It definitely helps a lot. All right, guys. Be sure to share this episode if you love it and tell Matt as well. Don't just DM me. Make sure you DM the people on the show. Yes. So you let them know they love it as well. All right, guys. I will see you next week. Right on. Right on. Right on. Right on.

Right on. Right on. Right on. Right on.