Barbell Shrugged - Building the Diesel Dad Mentorship Part 2 w/ John Swanson - Diesel Dad Episode 31

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Busy Dads 👇👇 2 Steps to Start building a strong, lean, and athletic body you are proud of. Join my free Facebook group: http://bit.ly/DIESELDADDOJO Or Schedule a call with me here and will see if I can help you: https://bit.ly/DieselDadConsult ► Connect with Anders Varner: https://www.instagram.com/andersvarner ► Connect with John Swanson: https://www.instagram.com/johnwswanson

Welcome to Barbell Shrugged. Anders Varner, John Swanson, part two, back. Talking about how we built the Diesel Dad Mentorship and the guy that we hired to help us create the most valuable offer I have ever created and the most valuable program we've ever created, helping a really specific group of people. The Diesel Dad Mentorship has been really, really cool for us. And just the

amount of impact we've created over just the last eight to 10 weeks of really working with dads and ideally radically reshaping their lives and building more confident, competent, strong, lean, athletic dads that can be there for their family in the way that they, and show up in the way that they want. As we get into part two of this, I want to spend some time kind of talking about some of the tactical pieces of the course. And that at some point you can say, great, I totally get it. I understand that I need to have more impact with my clients. I need to be able to charge more money. I need to be able to create a program that is more valuable. But what actually goes into creating a very valuable program? And in the course, you brought up a new model. I had heard of the model before, but what is kind of the difference between the standard like funnel and the flywheel that you outline in the course?

So in the previous episode, we talked about putting the customer at the forefront. And when we talk customer, what it really is, is the person that has the potential to purchase our alumni or our actual student. It's just really anybody that is not on the staff. And so that being said, we focus on that relationship. And so it doesn't matter if they've actually paid us money yet or not. It's how to create that entire experience from start to finish. And what I really realized, and this again came back from reflecting to finish. And what, what I really realized in this, again,

came back from reflecting on the Granite Games of like, we don't run a funnel all there. We didn't also run a standard like org chart there. But what we did is we said, there's kind of three major components of creating a world-class, you know, customer relationship management. And that's number one. How do we delight? How do we delight the student? Okay. Number two, and this is like, imagine a circle and you're putting these around it, right? And you put them at the center of it. Next you have, you have delight, you have awareness, and then you have essentially to deliver. And so you kind of look at these three major components and you say, now you zoom out and you put marketing,

sales and delivery around all of this or a customer service. And you start to see this thing spin and you notice that look, marketing actually supports lead generation, but it also supports sales and it supports delivery. Sales actually has a positive or could have a negative impact on marketing and it can have a negative or positive impact on delivery and then, and vice versa customer experience. And so the easiest way to think about the flywheel method is only allow people to come into your business

that you can absolutely change their lives. And so therefore we no longer chase money, but we chase the transformation. We chase the case study. And what happens is because you start to produce so many great stories, it makes your marketing relatively easy. And then it makes your sales relatively easy. But because it started at the forefront of allowing only the right people to come in, it makes your product better, which allows you to stay in more power and certainty because your belief pattern is, you know, basically people that don't get results are the ones that beat you down and basically question everything you do. And so it's just like this fundamental change to say, put the customer at the forefront

and I do no harm to them. So therefore I can only accept somebody that is ready to go through this process. And what happens is this crazy momentum begins in your business and it makes all departments of your company actually really much easier to run. That's how we built Granite Games. And then it wasn't until later on in the later parts of the years and really this last

year, I realized, oh, I don't believe in a traditional org chart model. I don't believe in necessarily a funnel, but rather it's this, how do I get people into the center of this nucleus? And then I just continue to create this experience around it. And when they're ready, we'll allow them to become a customer, but we're not trying to sign people up. That's not the goal. Rather, we're allowing them to start once they're ready to actually begin that phase of the journey.

Yeah. I love the story you tell about when you're, sorry that this happened to your son, but when he got his finger caught in the spokes of his bicycle. Because really what that kind of the backdrop of that is, how do you create yourself as the expert and actually be able to market yourself to the dream client? And you don't have to look too far before you've got some marketer yelling at you on board your dream clients like what does that actually mean and how does somebody connect with them knowing that it's the person that is one wants your help and is willing to do the work to radically change

their life yeah so that was i was golfing on the 18th hole and I actually think my daughter called me and said, get home right now. Eddie cut his finger off. He got his finger actually caught in the assault bike sprocket. And, uh, I drove a hundred miles an hour and broke several loss, several loss to get home. And what I realized in that moment, we also talk about the, the, the priority system, nothing mattered. I didn't care if I got a ticket, I was going to get home as fast as I could. Um, and my baby boy was hurt. And in that process of driving home, you know, in five minutes, I had already called one person and basically had lined up for him to go back into the doctor's office to basically stitch my

son's finger back on. And it was, you know, it had to be done immediately. And so my point that I want all the coaches is that if you don't stand for something, you don't create this like specific desired state, you'll never stand out. And so every person, one of the most important things that we have to understand as, as business owners or as coaches is that the marketplace will speak to you in pain and symptoms. They stay at a very surface level. And there's three major stages. Now, if you have a huge brand, you can just talk about the solution, right? Think of that as the Goliath of the business.

That's what large companies do is they just focus on talking about solution, but that requires somebody to be solution aware. If you want to be a little unknown person and grow really, really quickly and be super, super successful, be listening to all the people talking about the pain and the symptoms and have a way to pull them and actually make them problem aware. And what's fascinating is if you're the person that makes them problem aware, they instantly assume they make the assumption at a psychological level, deep rooted that you actually have the solution to it. And by having them go through that discovery phase. So when Eddie, you know, cut his finger off his, the pain was all these emotions I was feeling,

but the actual problem I was facing is if I don't get his finger reattached, he will, he will grow up without a finger. That was the problem. The pain was all the, the, the, the panic phone call, me leaving all my stuff at the course, you know, all that, right. I'm, and this is just, you can apply this to business. The solution was who can solve the problem. And that became the person that can step in. And that was, you know, Dr. Hallstrom that, you know, one phone call. But if, if you can take that, apply it to your business and realize that every one of your current people that need your help, they will never actually articulate their actual problem because that creates such a high level of intuitiveness to actually understand

what, like you said, most people don't even know what a metabolism is. So they're not going to communicate correctly because they're at a very uneducated level. And so then businesses say, I don't have a leads. No, you have plenty of leads. They're just speaking a different language and you've got to come down to their level. How, how does a coach actually find that thing that's inside them that makes them the single person that could go and solve that problem? Like, look, barbell shrugs, we're, we're, we don't have all the the answers if you go to our store right now you can find an ebook program or the muscle gain challenge or the one ton challenge to work on your super total or barbell shredded or like now everything is diesel dad that's going to be the next i'm going to be a dad forever so we might as well say forever um, you know, when people are, and this is an unbelievable number of coaches,

because it's so easy to write a training program. And it's so easy to write a nutrition program. And then you put it into an ebook, or you put it into true coach, and you go, this is it, I'm going to solve this problem. And you go, well, I'm now I'm going to go solve the next problem. How does a coach actually find out who the hell they are and who they want to work with and what problem they have the unique ability to solve and help people? That's a problem large enough that somebody else is genuinely going to take action. Well, I think there's a couple of major distinctions and I'll walk you through a couple of things there. Number one, I think most coaches are actually busy solving the pain and symptoms. So like when you jump in a true coach and you put your programming in, you're delivering fitness, but you're not helping that person with the nutrition. You're not actually

creating an actual pathway that helps the person overcome their mental blocks, why they're in the, in the pain in the first place. So one of the major keys, and you've been able to do this is you, you are able to implement a system that I call IDS, identify, discuss, and solve. So a lot of times what people get doing is they work really, really hard on solving a symptom, but then there's nine other symptoms. We need to pause. We need to reflect that thing I talked about in the last episode and ask ourselves, why are all these things currently happening? And what we find is actually there's a deep rooted problem. And if you solve that, all the pain and symptoms fall away. And that's what the major shift that when

we talked for the very first time, I had to open your eyes up to, Hey man, you're very, very talented. You actually have all the things to solve it, but you're only solving the symptoms. And so you've created all these one-offs to keep solving symptom, symptom, symptom, symptom. Yeah. But if you just created a pathway and put all that together, a specific step-by-step scenario, you would actually solve the deep-rooted problem. So you asked a question and I'll jump into it now. How does a coach know how to become that person? There's three things they have to understand. Do they get how to solve the actual problem, which also means they have to identify what the actual problem is, which means actually talking to people and listening, just listening to what is really going on and getting to the actual core issue. So they have to get that problem and they have to understand how to solve it. The next thing is like, you're passionate

and you want to help dads. So the next one is want, do you want to help these people solve this problem? And then therefore the last step is capacity. Do you have the capacity, the bandwidth to actually do the thing? And so a lot of times coaches where I think they, they're, they're actually off as they, they want to do it, but they actually don't know what they're actually wanting to do. They don't get it yet and they probably have the capacity.

But the reason where they're kind of bumping up is that they're busy chasing these symptoms or pains or what I call surface level problems. And if they pause, which is what our program, what you went through in the initial stages is we make you flesh out what is actually the person you want to help that you're passionate about helping. What is their real thing that's holding them back? And then from there, that's how you were able to put this program together. And you said, how do you create value? Well, I don't tell you how to create value. You create value based off of the awareness of the real problem, which is you talk about diesel dad yourself. You're like, dude, I, I gassed all these other things, like all this complexity and you, that realization of what was best for the client, you were acting on the behalf of

three core rules. Do what's safe for your student, do what's the fastest way for them to solve their problem and do it in the most accurate way for them to reach their goal. And so it's like, the question you asked is like inherently complex because it requires deep think to actually understand the prospect and what they're really dealing with. And it's not what people think it is. Yeah. I think coaches also have to, you know, I think there's, there's, I think what's beautiful about, uh, the course is that it showed up in my life when I was so specifically ready to solve a specific problem that I was facing in my coaching career. And for, you know, this is one thing that I work with when I'm talking to our clients, the dads that come into the mentorship program. I go, look, you're only in high school for like four years. And then you grow out of that shit. It's like a phase of your life. But

when you're in high school, you think you're going to be best friends with those people forever. Then you go to college and you think you're going to be there forever. And you party and you have fun and you do all these things. And then maybe you turn into like a CrossFit athlete. You're like this great shape. And then you turn into a dad. And then what happens? For many people, they get too busy. They get overweight. They put on this, but it's just this phase. And you get to an end point where you're bumping up against the road and you have to find a new way to live your life to get to the place that you get to an end point where you're bumping up against the road and you have to find a new way to live your life to get to the place that you want to go. And with coaches, and I'm no different, I played a specific game for so long and started to bump

up against the roads where I was very unfulfilled by the people that we were working with and the people that we were coaching and the programs we were putting out. And I was like, it felt inauthentic of me as a coach to say that if you do this program, you're going to get the legitimate happiness that you are looking for and the result that you're looking for. Because I know that it's way deeper than that. I know that there's like core problems that people need to solve way before you just go into the gym and you do the back squat. That piece of it took me a long time to be able to be in the game and play.

I believe that there's many coaches out there that have such a big skill set in understanding macros and metabolisms and workouts, but they don't understand kind of like where that path is leading them or who they specifically want to work with. And one of the easiest ways to do that for me was just to look at, well, what problem am I solving that is the highest problem in my life? And what the highest problem in my life was, for a long time, I could just go train and I had all the time in the world to go do it. And I like to break it down of like, before I had kids, it was training, business, husband. Or even before I got married, it was training, business, husband. Or even before I got married, it was training, business. Before I owned a business, it was just training. I didn't care about anything

else. I just wanted to train all the time. All my friends, all everybody. So you have these things. And then all of a sudden, the kid shows up and training goes from like number one in your entire life of most important thing to number four. Because now being a dad's the most important thing. Being a good husband, the most important thing. Running a good business to support one and two is the most important thing. How many times do you think about the fourth most important thing in your life? Not really. And if you're not a fitness professional that needs to be in shape, you go from being this like, training's cool, but I don't have time for the fourth most important thing, much less I've got friends pulling at me, bad nutrition choices. That became like the highest level pain point in my

life because I needed to figure out how fitness was going to fit into number one, number two, and number three, and do it in an efficient manner doing so I was getting all my goals. And I realized like, holy crap, everybody is going through this. I just happened to have the keys to know how to do it in the most effective, efficient way. And I went through the athlete stage, just like I went to high school, just like I went to college. I went to go compete with CrossFit, trained with all these professional athletes and high level celebrities, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't even matter anymore. Now my unique ability is to be able to communicate to somebody that has like 45 extra minutes in their day. And how do they maximize that amount of time to get the biggest benefit? And how do you eat knowing that you have specific goals? I think if people,

if you're a coach out there and want to understand like who you actually want, it's not about creating all the programs for solving all the problems. For us, it was me and Doug sitting down and going, this thing's different. It's a totally different skill set. Once you become a parent, it becomes a wildly different skill set to solve fitness problems because you don't have the time and the energy. So if we're struggling with it and it's our entire lives and we've been a combined 50 years of experience in this, imagine if you had zero experience or imagine if you had like two years of CrossFit and then you found the girl and then you got married and then you had the kid and now you don't know what

to do. And it's a really soul searching kind of experience to go through and find who you want to coach and, and deliver that impact that people are looking for. Um, I think a couple of things where coaches go wrong is that like you brought up macros like I think coaches are like I'm a macros coach and I'm like mmm macros are like a tool and if they start to realize that a lot of these

things that they know are just merely tools in their toolkit the key is is to take each person and use the right tools at the right time and not to force a one-size-fits-all across everybody because people got stuff going on in their life. The other thing that's happened is that COVID forced, and we were online doing this prior, but I think COVID forced the consumer to advance 10 years in under six months. Now, COVID was extremely detrimental to economies and people's lives, and we lost loved ones because of it. But from a business side, it forced evolution extremely, extremely fast. And I think coaches need to have a real hard look in the mirror. Am I an entertainer or am I somebody that transforms somebody's life?

You can only be really one or the other. I, you know, I think there's brands out there that they make fitness a form of entertainment. Yeah. And then I think there's coaches out there that sit down and they say, what's really going on. And they really understand the deep rooted issues. This person's phasing and they put a step-by-step plan to help that person have the things they want, have the mind and body they need to support their loved ones, to support their children, to kick ass at their career. And I think those are the coaches that are going to shape the world. And that's what we're trying to help them understand is that, you know, like most coaches right now, I think are entertainment at best. They're actually not solving a real problem. I will say

that like Sean from active life and I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. What he's doing is he's teaching coaches how to solve. When I say pain, now it's different. That's the problem, right? Shoulder pain is the actual problem. And he's going through, he's assessing the person. He's actually finding out why it happens and they, they solve it. If we actually applied that same formula, which we're doing right now, but we understood it to people that weren't in a shoulder pain, but in life pain, why is that pain present? And that's what I think real coaches have the opportunity to step into. And that's what the world needs because people are distracted there's stress there's anxiety and like all these emotional

feelings that they don't know how to deal with and then you slap on a kid marriage career all these complexities and nobody taught us how to deal with these things nobody teaches us how to prioritize our time prioritize our mindset like what the thing you just told me off record, the thing you do and you take it like, oh, this is just what I do. That's a skill. And it's a routine that you've created. But most importantly is you had to make a mental shift to see the value of and connect the dots of what that makes possible. And so I think people get in the hamster wheel and they don't feel like they have a way out of it. And then they just feel like they're on this crash course and well, it is what it is and they don't see the path. And I think that's what, I think coaches have to realize though, that like, yeah,

there's coaches out there making, you know, there's coaches out there that make two to 3k a month and they'll get in our system. And in the first seven days, they'll make 10 K. And that's just, you know, just a small snapshot of what people do. I mean, we had people do a hundred K in 90 days. They're like, I don't understand how this happens. And I'm like, because you're actually solving a problem. That's really, really valuable now. And you're actually getting in touch with people that actually value the solution. That's the other thing is just because somebody has the problem, they may not actually want to solve it. It may not be their priority. And that's a real question you have to ask somebody.

It's like, hey, you're a dad. You got a brand newborn at home and you're married. Are you trying to level up? Are you trying to be a better version of yourself? Are you just cool with where you're at? Because if they're cool with where they're at, you can't help them. Somebody asked me like, John, why were none of your family members ever

members of your gym? Don't you care about them? You have all this knowledge. And I was like, I do, but if I force them into something and they don't want to do this, a, it just is going to ruin our relationship. And I can't, I have to teach them when they're ready and I can only support them with where they're at and encourage them, but I can't force them. And so for you as a coach, all you've done is you found fulfillment by identifying your tribe because it's what you want to do for yourself. And you're just trying to help other fathers get elevated to be a better man, a better husband, a better father. And the byproduct of that is they're better at their career. They're also enjoying life again through hobbies and they're leaving the world a better place, but they have to recognize and, or you

can help them recognize that this problem is, is there. And it's the pain and symptoms that they keep expressing of why it's there. Yeah. You've mentioned a couple times that you have to get out and talk to people. And there's a certain level of trust that goes into having hard conversations and being able to ask really good questions. Another thing that I probably overlook as a skill, because i talk to people all the time on this podcast and try to ask hard questions um getting people to open up about like the level two or the level three problem like the really deep one that's like really bothering them getting getting like the skill of being able to get, like, a 40-year-old male

that's very successful in his job and sits in boardrooms and has conversations that revolve around seven, eight, nine-figure businesses and decisions and all these things and then going, well, when was the last time you were able to like fully go out and play with your kids without fear of physical truly think about how they show up in their families is, it's really interesting. And I think that that conversation is really hard for so many coaches to have because they don't practice it themselves. They may be, you know, we've talked about in multiple conversations of like, in order to be able to go to that place, you always have to have struggled

with these things on your own. And, you know, with your course, the number of coaches right now that are struggling to build either an online business or they're in a gym trying to figure out how to maximize profits and revenue and actually expand their business, it's a really hard thing to be able to do if you've never been kicked, if you've never been gone through the hard thing to be able to ask for me. I mean, that's the problem I want to solve.

Where aren't you showing up in being a dad or a husband? Where aren't you showing up? Why do we have physical and mental limitations around your physical capacity? That is the problem we solve. We do it through a lot of weight loss and a lot of muscle building, but that's the problem we solve. How do you get coaches to be able to ask better questions to, to really dig through that? Like, Oh, I want to lose weight. Yeah. Well, guess what? So does like 75% of the world, especially Americans. Like, how does that happen? Of course, everyone wants to lose weight. We all want to look shredded, but the reason we want to do it is, is level two and level three and getting into those like philosophical reasons of how do, how do we connect the dots to, yeah,

okay. You want to look better in the mirror. Why are you, how do we build the confidence in coaches to be able to ask those questions so that we can really dig into that deeper problem. So I think this is where I get a little nerdy, so I apologize. But we have to understand the deep-rooted issue of why coaches put up their walls of having conversations in the first place. Because they're naturally fairly good communicators when they're a client. But when they're a prospect, they see maybe prospecting as like a negative thing or they, you know, connect to like the greasy salesman. And so there was something I wrote and I wrote it back in 2012 and it's called I give, and it stands for intent, gain rapport, investigate, um, create value and enroll them in their dreams. At no time do we make

reference to sell somebody. Um, I think great coaches, what they do is they take time to have a real conversation with somebody. They investigate what's really going on and they deliver them value. And then they encourage them to take action on their dreams. They don't, you don't have to sell somebody and you shouldn't like, like one of the things that we do is we don't close people. Like they ask us, like you asked me, like, how do I work with you? And that's the same way we teach to sell, which is a way where honestly, my goal is how many conversations can I have with coaches around the world where I just get them to understand their real problem, show them exactly how to solve it. And then say, now, please go do that. Take action. And then if they want me to help them,

we can talk about that, but we don't have to. So one of the things I wanted to bring up to the audience, and I think this is pretty powerful, because you asked a question like, how do we get people to open up? Well, this is something that, number one, you have to understand it's a skill set. And we can teach you how to do this. We teach you how to do this. But in the first five minutes, what we teach our students to recognize is it's the person highly visual. So a highly visual person will speak faster, and they will use visualization based speak if they're highly auditory they're kind of in the middle so they're gonna speak at more of a regular pace

and they're really listening to the words they're kind of hanging on to what you're talking about the third type of communication pattern is kinesthetic and what you're gonna feel like it's very slowesthetic and what you're going to feel like it's very slow. It's like if you're a high visual salesperson and you're talking to a highly kinesthetic person, you feel like you just went into first gear, but you're going to notice that they're going to use words like, I have to feel this way. And so the key is it doesn't matter what you prefer.

You have to match their communication pattern, which is probably what you do naturally, right? You probably interview each person a little differently based off of their energy. And so like when Jess and I were just buying this new house, I was telling my realtor, I said, here's how you're going to know if Jess wants to buy the house. She'll say, I can feel our family living in here. And I shit you not, we're walking around for 10 minutes and she goes, Kim, I can feel our family living in here. And everybody just starts laughing. I called it to a spot.

I already know what I don't, there's no closing of her. If that is said, she wants to move forward because Jess is a highly feeling-based kinesthetic communicator. She's all, why is she ahead of our customer service? She's all about creating feelings of the brand, positive feelings. I am the leader. I'm highly visual. I'm the dreamer. I'm the one that creates the path. I'm able to take things that can't be seen and make them seen. And so the key that I want to share with all the coaches is that learning how to better communicate is a important skill as a coach, but just purely put, communication is really, really important. And if you can mirror that just initial language pattern, you're already staying in rapport. So when we go back to intent, the intent

is, is long before the conversation begins. I am truly peer with my intention that every person I come in contact with, I want to help them be better. That doesn't mean I want money from them. And I think a lot of times coaches see that, that prospect conversation is all right, I'm going to sell. It's like, no, we're here to serve. And if they sign up with us great money's a byproduct okay and then from there let's let's build rapport well the easiest way to stay in rapport is to match their number one language pattern of how they want to be communicated with and then really listen and like you could like say an example somebody's like i want to lose 20 pounds like and you could say well why do you want to do that?

Like that's breaking rapport. Okay. Anders, I noticed that you have a little one. What is, what's, what's their name, right? You start to build rapport. You talk to them as if they're a real human. And what I find is so many coaches, like they're so used to do an assessment, do this, do this, do this, do this.

When you talk to a real person, it's about building connection and as if they were your friend. And so stop running the sales script is like, check the box, check the box, check the box. Like that's not what they want. That's not what they need. They want to feel connection that they have. So I actually just had one of my assistants text me. So we have a script that we use. It's not necessarily a sales script, but it, we need to understand is this person moving away from pain or do they like to communicate about pleasure? So you have to circle that. Like I'll, I'll share with you the, the, there's three things that you need to have nailed in nailed inside of the first five minutes or you will break all rapport on all conversations. Do they like to talk about moving away from pain or do they want to center the conversation around going towards pleasure?

That's number one. Number two is now the speed at which we will communicate. If they're visual, we speak fast. If they're auditory, we speak average. If they're kinesthetic, we slow it down. Okay. The last one is, are they doing this for an internal reason or for you? I bet it's a lot of times an external reason they're kids. Okay. And so now once you have all of that, and that is honestly nailed within the first five minutes of building rapport, you need to hold

that the remaining part of the idea process. So when you're gaining connection and building rapport, you need to hold that the remaining part of the idea process. So when you're gaining connection and building trust, you're going to be creating the relationship. You got to use the same language pattern because you can have two different calls. You can have two calls with two people and it actually sounds very different because of the language, the speed you talk, the references you use, the internal versus external, but you're actually using the same framework. So I'll walk you through kind of our process. You already know this, but it's gain connection, build trust, create relationships. What do you generally like about them? Like, Oh, you're a dad. I'm a dad too. Oh, you work out in your gym. I work out in my

gym too. Oh, you have a sauna. I have a sauna. Yeah. That's awesome. That's connection. And then when they start to investigate the problem, you're actually being truly curious of like, what's going on in their life. You're not trying to put them through an assessment. This is, they're not a client. You're trying to really understand their actual real problem. The investigation is getting them out of the pain and symptoms speak and truly trying to understand like, why is this happening in the first place? And once you've done all that, now you can start to verify their dream of where they want to go. So we investigate where, where do you want to go? Right. And that is either moving

away from pain or it's moving to their desire. And then the last step is just enroll them in this solution. All right, here's what you need to do. Let me show you the pathway to solve this problem. You're going to need like Anders, I didn't sell you. You need to do this. You're going to need to do this. You need to do this and you need to do this. That's the exact blueprint. If you have any questions, I'm here to help you. And that, that right there is like, yes, it's not like a, I mean, I have, we have scripted sentences and all that stuff to just help somebody. But man, if you're not staying in the pain versus pleasure speak and staying where they want to be, if you don't hold their communication speed and you don't either talk about the

internal, external, and you keep breaking those, you can have somebody that really wants your help and you actually push them away because you didn't meet them on how they want to be communicated with. I, uh, I like to think that, I mean, there's communication is like, it could be its own giant course, but, um, the idea of the story brand, uh, if anybody's ever, if you've read that book, if you haven't, you totally should read that book. Um, it, it lays out a really good formula for kind of how to create connection and understand where big pain points are, starting with the kind of like the aesthetic problem. What's the surface level problem that people are solving of they wake up and they look in the mirror and they don't see the body that they want? Well, why is that a problem? Well, then it gets into kind of like that deeper emotional feeling level of, well, they feel

incompetent. If they can't solve this one problem that seems so easy to solve for so many people, then they can't solve any other problem or there's a confidence problem behind it. And they don't feel they're worthy of success because or worthy of being a good dad because they can't even solve this one surface level problem of eating and getting to the gym, and aligning that with who they'd like to be as a dad. You go, well, why do you need confidence? And that's the big ticket piece for everyone to be able to truly be able to solve that transformational journey for themselves is to be able to connect with the philosophical reason of, I'm not showing up and being the person that I believe I should be. And that really is like the universal truth for most people that are

in, are looking for fitness solutions to solving problems is they're not showing up in the world. They don't, they, when they see themselves, it's not the dad that they want to be. And that's the big problem that we solve. There's a lot of ways in which you have to be able to communicate that and have a real conversation with it, with people to help them along that journey. That piece of it, everybody can handle that aesthetic piece. There isn't a coach that is in fitness for over three years that doesn't understand how to slowly lower caloric intake to get weight off people. Building confidence is a much bigger problem to solve. How do you make somebody feel happy with themselves, that they're worthy of being a good dad, and al that, that confidence with, with actual action and building momentum in their life.

Aaron Hind is, does a really good job talking about trajectory and how trajectory, it's not really where you're at, but where you're going that creates happiness and that trajectory in life of like, wow, I lost 10 pounds in the first four weeks. Like I love the trajectory of where this is going. If Aaron Hind's the trajectory of where this is going. Um, if Aaron Heinz, the CEO of fit aid, if anybody doesn't know who he is, um, you should go listen to him speak.

He's great. Um, can I, can I hop in? I want to, yeah. So two things that are really important distinction. Anytime you have a conversation with somebody, if you can get them to say why seven times you're typically back to their childhood. And so what you're going to find for your audience is that typically it's going to be the relationship they had with their father and either they're trying to mirror it, but most of the times they're actually trying to better it. And so what they're seeing, because people hang on pain, right? Like we always look at like the negative things of how we were robbed in life. And we all have our, our pain. And one of the things that's really interesting about pain is that when someone explains their pain to you, recognize it and understand that to them, it's a level 10. Don't try to be like,

Oh, let me tell you about my story. They don't give a shit about your pain, to be honest. So now the key is, can you bring them down to that level in a way that doesn't feel like you're attacking them, but like a really conversational, I guarantee you do this really, really well. It's like, Oh, okay. So you lack confidence. Well, how is that? Like, what's going on there? Like, how is that affecting you? And it's, it's just, even you hear like the tone of like how I slow it down. Now, the interesting part about all of this is that all of your marketing though, has to stay inside of their current belief pattern. So your marketing should break their current beliefs while your actual, what I call

active conversation should actually pull them into the understanding of what the real problem is. And so great marketing meets them where they're at and it helps them break their current beliefs to let them realize what they think is broken as possible. But then by doing so, you actually help them realize their actual real problem. That's the thing. If they solve this, the desired state becomes a mere formality and that trajectory comes up. And so I think that's really important for the audience because we just went through all these like communication patterns and all these things, but those aren't necessarily the things that we use in front facing marketing because marketing is all about the actual breaking of

the beliefs. Yeah. Yeah. It's that it's interesting. I haven't really ever thought about the relationship with their, their childhood being, you know, and how those stories continually play out. I would imagine most likely people are falling into the traps that they didn't want to, which is one of the largest pain points that they just don't know how to get out of the story that they're currently currently living in. Well, I get, they bury it. That's the other side is it gets absolutely buried. There is a,

how do I explain this when I went through Simon Sinek I read his books start with why and then I went through leaders eat last and then I went through his why university I was in the middle of a summer after one of the granite games and I was bawling in my living room and I had this like basically what he does I actually think I don't know if he still sells this but basically what he does is you work through this process and he has you lift out list out like all the highest points of your life and you do this privately you also have to list out all your lowest points and I mean I was crying and what he does is he has you center like look you're both of these people what is going on here and why was this

this low moments being caused what were they what was going on here and why were these high moments being and what I realized for me and I'm this is no longer like how to build an online business but for me and my trajectory was I realized that, you know, my dad isn't with me anymore. And my dad got dealt a hand that I can't fathom to truly actually understand. I can only try. And so my dad was only alive for my last, his last 26 years of his life. But prior to that, my dad went to NAM. My dad's dad tried to kill him. My dad died of alcoholism. There's all this stuff he had to deal with. And all I can do is have the faith in my father that my father had the best intentions to play the current hand he had with the skillset he had. But it was my job to walk back down the path of my childhood and to understand what happened.

And if I can realize the gaps that were created, I can go acquire the new skills. I can play my hand better. So therefore Edison, Sloan, Charlie, and Sophie do not have the same experience. It's our job as a father to ensure that the same experience I had with my dad is not the one they have with me. And it's to instill the behavior of, look, I'm still going to rob you of things. I'm going to make mistakes as a father, but if I can give them the skill set to be able to walk back down the childhood and instead of burying it deep, but rather expose it and understand what they don't like about it and then change it for the future. We are setting the next generation up for massive success, but it starts with us as a man or a woman to walk back down into a really dark, shitty place.

And I had to go through that. And I've been, honestly, I don't think I figured it out. And I don't think I'll fully ever figure it out, but I'll tell you 2015 going through it. You got me still? Yeah, you're good. Okay. I don't think 2015, me going through it, I think it was a culmination of that barrel.

It was the start of going through Simon Sinek and me talking about the things that, oh yeah, I'm going to be this person. And then realizing three years later, who am I? I'm a horrible dad. My daughter's asking me, you know, I remember at the granite games in the suite, you were there the year you weren't in there. She says, dad, can this be the last year? Like I miss you. And I was, I was gutted and I was like, I'm selling this company. And, and so anyways, I think if you can

get to somebody's seventh level of their why, and you can do it without breaking rapport, they're going to really open up to you about some things that went on in the past. And a lot of times that's their actual real thing they're trying to solve in the future. And that's why I say coaching is so much more than a macro is a tool. Teaching, writing a squat program is a tool. Mindset coaching, productivity, they're all tools. Be a really, really good craftsman, but a great craftsman knows what tool to use, when to use it. And the number one goal, do no harm to a client, which means don't create more stress, take stress away, make their life better, make them healthier, make them happier, make them

wealthier. Don't make it harder on them. And a lot of coaching programs put too much on their students too fast. It creates overwhelm and then they quit. Sorry for that whole dis-rotation. No, it led into perfectly almost the number one problem that I want to solve with the Diesel Dad Mentorship. I did a full 30-minute long podcast on my own where it's like very free thought free thought uh being recorded which many times is uh a little disorganized but also like very real in the thought pattern

of my i was giving my daughter a bath probably like at this point, two months ago. And I grabbed, she's got like the curliest red hair you've ever seen. And it takes, it's like a 15 minute ordeal every time we have to comb her hair. And I grabbed her brush and I was like, can daddy use your brush? She goes, daddy, you don't have hair. You can't use my brush. And I was like, yeah, I don't have hair. I get it. And then her face turned into that like inquisitive, dad, why don't you have hair? What's the first thing that I do is I just start lying to my daughter about why I don't have hair because I have no idea outside of like genetic things and male pattern. I don't know. I'm lying. I'm making stuff up. Somebody told me that that's what happens. I never researched it. I have no idea. I'm just

lying to you. Hopefully I didn't screw up too bad. However, because I conceptualize everything through like a fitness lens or other people's lives, imagine if your daughter is nine years old and she doesn't look like the people she sees on TV or she sees in magazines. She's overweight because in your house, you guys don't eat well. There isn't food options that lead to a healthy life. And someone at school calls her fat. She comes home and she asks her dad, hey, dad, am I fat? But it's a real question. In the same vein that my daughter asks in a real question, why are you bald?

And you don't have an answer. And your best answer is yes or no. Because everything after that is a lie. You don't actually know how to have a healthy conversation with your family about being in shape, being healthy. And that became, in my brain, the number one problem that I want to solve is creating healthy relationships with food and fitness. Because yes, the people that are generally overweight right now and our dads never had somebody

actually sit down with them. There is no course you can take as a dad that says like, well, this is how you teach your family about nutrition. And so what do people do? They act like they know things. They act like they know what their metabolism do? They act like they know things. They act like they know what their metabolism is. They act like they know what healthy food is. But what they're doing is just reciting a bunch of crap in the same manner that I was doing it. But they don't have a real education system because as soon as you say no, now your daughter knows you're lying. As soon as you say yes, now you've labeled and identified as this thing that seems uncontrollable, like you're genetically screwed for the rest of your life. So how do we create through leadership and build

like a leadership platform around health and fitness so dads have a legitimate way to instill these healthy routines, habits, lifestyle changes to create a healthy life in your family and have high quality, legitimate conversations about long-term health. And her simply asking that question, my brain running to the nth degree, like it always does overthinking things and wondering why was I so quick to like jump to the I'm your dad, I know this. When it's all just, it's all fake. It's all a lie. And that philosophical problem, kind of where I was going to is, is that the core of like, what is is actually bothering? Or what is the problem that dads are actually trying to

solve? How do I be a leader in my household and show up and align the way that I want to parent with the actions that I take on a daily basis so that I don't have to tell my kids what to do. I show them all the good information is caught, not taught. We had a member say that in our Facebook group, and I was like, it's so true. If you go to the gym and your kids see you lifting weights, they're going to know that lifting weights is good. If they see you eating the vegetables and going for walks and doing physical things, having a physical existence and physical capacity is a

reality that you just, that's the way you live your life. You don't have to say, go outside and play. Everyone's outside. We're always playing. We're always doing these things. And yes, I want dads to lose weight. Yes, I want them to build confidence. I want them to have the competence. But on a philosophical level, I want there to be an education system in every single person's house to be able to teach really basic knowledge on being healthy, being fit, not being overweight, and it not being some taboo conversation where you're just shooting half truths at people that probably know you're lying. Probably no, you don't know the answer because they can see it. That's like the core, at its core, the problem that we solve. So one of the things that I think you're doing very similar to me. So in our mastermind, the conversation center centers around three things, wealth creation,

part of that's profit, but also here's the deal. You got to be smart enough to make the money and then understand what to do with it. So we talk actually a lot about investing and, and, and PNLs and how to be, you know, better educated there. I, we talk a lot about health and we talk a lot about happiness. And so I have a mastermind and you think it's all about business. And it's funny because I actually asked my audience, I said, what do you guys want me to talk about on the podcast? And they said, you know, I want you to dig more into how you've been able to build happiness and health at the same time. And it's what I was thinking about your program is I really see your job is to not only show these fathers how to do, I think all three, I think it'd be really awesome if you brought in some other people that be in your course or in your program to teach them how to make more generational wealth and be smarter with their money and,

you know, make better decisions there because they need to do that. And they need the key for your coaching program is not just to show them how to do it, but they need to be able to explain to the next generation why our family instills these belief systems. So everything starts with principles. Go back to Ray Dalio. You got your principles. It's the same thing I teach, right? And then from there, we got to break it down into the frameworks. Easy way to think of it is it's like the framing of a house. And then it's going to be up to you, Anders, and how you want to shape your program. But if you think about it, like you're working with dads, I work with CEOs. I talk about the same stuff you do health, wealth, and happiness.

And we talk about, you know, building a culture where everybody on your team works out and eats right. And you support them in that. And we don't have sick days. We have a health days that they take. And so I think number one, it, it, I want to share something with, with you is your number one job is you need to inside of your coaching program, do LIFO. They have to learn it. They have to be able to implement it, which is your job to make sure they can implement it. You got to create a feedback loop. Ideally, the feedback loop is going to be with you. This might be confusing for the audience, but I hope you pick up on it. And so they'll create a feedback loop with you. But if you're a really great coach, which I know you are, you're going to teach them how to create their own feedback loop, which is the three R's that we shared earlier. And then finally, they'll learn how to optimize it. The key now is once they understand LIFO, they need to instill the

principles, the wireframe or the frameworks, and then finally the tactics and the guts of what they do to their family. And it's not just good enough to say, we eat healthy. Here's why we eat healthy. Here's how we invest our money. Hey, you you're 18 years old and you, you made $2,000. We're going to teach you the proper things that I didn't get taught this stuff. Nobody taught me about nutrition. Nobody taught me about family. Nobody taught me about how, like my, I come from entrepreneurs, but our team right now today is bigger than all of my family's businesses combined. They were so preneur. They never mastered leadership. They never mastered how to put a team in place. And so the truth is I can bitch and complain and say, well, this is, you know, this is what my family put me into, or we

can create an environment where we say, I'm going to change. And I think that's what you're doing with your coaching program is you're creating fathers that are not going to stand for the status quo. And the key for you now is if you can continue to show them on how to pass that on to their family. And I think hit those three major counterparts. You have a coaching program that you talked about value early on. Like what is the value of that? It's,

it's life changing. You can't, you can't put a price on it. I think that's a good place to wrap. And in part three, I do you know, laying out the program, finding that deeper purpose and who you want to coach, which we covered in part one. So definitely go back and kind of like where this all began for us and how you guys can benefit from like just a lot of the basic structures of where you're at in your business, where you're going. And then a lot of the guts of actually building the program here. When we get into part three, there definitely is a piece of coaching in which everyone is going to have to be able to scale. And for us, it's opportunities that present themselves of how do we help as many people as possible?

I think the word scaling gets so, it's such a strange word in business because people think that we have to become Amazon, but what it really is, is how do you create value and success to as many people as possible? And that's going to be like the next step that once everybody digs into building the business, getting great results, how do you ensure that you can maximize the number of people that are able to get into your program and still get the exact same results?

So in part three, we're going to dig into growing that business and scaling it and creating as much value as possible. Where can people find you and learn more about the program? Head over to John W. Swanson on Instagram. First step, just shoot me a DM. We're going to be launching a five-day free challenge where we're going to help you raise your prices.

And please understand that raising your prices is a byproduct of creating an amazing coaching program like you've heard about today. So we'll walk you through the exact steps of why somebody would, you know, pay you anywhere from five to 10 X what you're currently charging. And we'll give you the exact blueprint so you can go out there and make the changes in your program. So you can start making more impact in the world, generate more profit and create more freedom in your life.

And all the dads that are listening to this, get over to diesel dadadmentorship.com, schedule a call, talk to one of our coaches and make sure it's the right fit. If you head to dieseldadmentorship.com for all the busy dads that want to lose 20 to 40 pounds without strict diets, spending 60 to 90 minutes in the gym. We will see you in part three next week.