Barbell Shrugged - Feed Me Fuel Me  — Act Like You Give a Damn w/ Darrel Wang  — 86

Episode Date: May 10, 2018

Darrel Wang specializes in developing individuals that are interested in becoming the nation’s next generation’s war fighters. With multiple combat deployments in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, Darrel’s knowledge and expertise in knowing what is required from marines, soldiers, sailors, and airmen comes straight from personal experience. Darrel is a coach at CrossFit PHX and CrossFit Magna, as well as assistant Coach PRO Tactical at Power Speed Endurance. He was enlisted in the United States Air Force at age 19, and while going through one of the world’s toughest military training pipelines, he discovered a parallel between strength and conditioning and being successful while going through a Special Operations/Special Forces school. In this episode, Darrel talks about humility and how to effectively use feedback from others. He discusses some of his favorite methods for managing stress and using breath, as well as the self-talk that accompanies it. Darrel also explains the importance of owning what we do and how to take responsibility for ourselves, our lives, and our actions. Enjoy! - Jeff and Mycal ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/fmfm_wang ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please support our partners! Thrive Market is a proud supporter of us here at Barbell Shrugged.  We very much appreciate all they do with us and we’d love for you to support them in return!  Thrive Market has a special offer for you. You get $60 of FREE Organic Groceries + Free Shipping and a 30 day trial, click the link below: thrivemarket.com/feedme How it works:  Users will get $20 off their first 3 orders of $49 or more + free shipping.  No code is necessary because the discount will be applied at checkout. Many of you will be going to the store this week anyway, so why not give Thrive Market a try! ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/barbellshruggedp... TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

Hey there ladies and gentlemen, this is Doug Larson, co-host of the Barbell Shrug Podcast. Of course, this week only we are doing a 50% off sale for a nutrition course that I developed called Nutrition for Weightlifters. For years I competed in weightlifting at either 85 kilo, which is 187 pounds, or as high as 94 kilo, which is 207 pounds, while simultaneously competing in mixed martial arts as a welterweight at 170 pounds. That's a 37 pound swing and I was always going up and down. I got very good at manipulating my weight to hit my weight classes depending on which competition

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Mike Bledsoe here, CEO of The Strut Collective. Today, we bring to you a new show, Feed Me, Fuel Me, hosted by Jeff Thornton and Michael Anders. As we're expanding what we offer, traveling to great guests, and introducing you to the best content, we have partnered with amazing companies that we believe in. We talk and hang out with the founders and owners of these businesses. Not all products are created equal, even if it looks like it on the surface.

We've done the research and have been in the industry long enough to see what really works and what will make the biggest difference for you long term. With that being said, one of my favorite companies, Thrive Market, has a special offer for you. You get $60 of free organic groceries plus free shipping and a 30-day trial. ThriveMarket.com slash feedme. This is how it works. Users will get $20 off their first three orders of $49 or more plus free shipping. No code is necessary because the discount will be applied at checkout. Many of you will be going to the store this week anyway, so hit up Thrive Market today. Go to thrivemarket.com slash feedme. Enjoy the show.

This is episode number 86 of the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast with our special guest, performance coach, Daryl Wang. Welcome to the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast. My name is Jeff Thornton, alongside my co-host, Michael Anders. Each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message related to our three pillars of success, manifestation, business, fitness, and nutrition. Our intent is to enrich, educate, and empower our audience to take action, control, and accountability for their decisions. Thank you for allowing us to join you on your journey. Now let's get started. Hey, what's good, fam? Welcome to another episode of the Feed Me, Feel Me podcast. There's Jeff coming to you live with Coach Daryl Wang.

What's good, man? How are you? Good, man. Thanks for having me. Yeah, thanks for being here, bro. This is sweet. Yeah, we've got a very serendipitous connection with a lot of my buddies that I played with at the Air Force Academy who ended up in the flying community, and you turned out to be their parachute rigger.

Yeah, dude. And that's how we got connected. Such a small world, man. I remember talking to Jordan Wilkie about wanting to move here. Yeah. And he's like, my buddy owns CrossFit Phoenix. And at the time, I'm like, CrossFit Phoenix? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's PHX, right? Right, right. But he was like, let me connect you, too, because at the time, I think you told me that whenever I'm in town just to hit you up. And that was a year and a half before I actually moved here. So, yeah, super serendipitous. Damn, it's been a year and a half you guys have been talking? We connected a year and a half before he got here.

No kidding. That's crazy. Where were you stationed though? The shittiest small little town. The greatest town ever. Alamogordo, New Mexico. Woo-woo, hometown, baby. Hometown.

Man. Yeah, it was an interesting experience i came from like a really big city yeah um station so like from japan to just this shithole of a town where were you at no i was at okinawa okay like every military guy ever yeah yeah yes it was i mean it was sweet there was a great assignment i had a couple deployments there so i didn't really spend much time on the island but when i was there man it was beautiful and then i moved to a sandbox where i would have rather been in afghanistan than he's hating right now one of the greatest stations on the map holland air force base i was one of the last born at that hospital down there the one that's that was it was nice boy right they close hospital down there. That was nice, boy. They closed it down?

No, it's still there. You just go in for routine checkups and things like that. That explains it, man. You got blessed with greatness down there. We understand so much more about you. You see my jersey hanging in Applebee's? Man, that's the spot. That's how you know you made it. That's the only spot there.

Little town boy yeah awesome man yeah so what's uh what's the career the career path like for a parachute rigger in the air force oh man so not a whole lot of people know like how i got into the military so that was never the number one option yeah give us the backstory yeah so i was like i was running track and field pretty successfully being recruited by division one schools my senior year like i had a hip injury that took me out of the game completely and this is after signing the letter of intent this is after all that stuff to where um the university of arizona oh man yeah you're going to end up here no matter what dude i know full circle yeah i know uh so from there, yeah, from there I ended up like walking into the recruiter's office. Cause my dad was always

about me serving. He served in some overseas military. So he's like, it's a great experience. They'll pay for your school, whatever else. Uh, so I asked for the most difficult career in the military. Uh, and I went to pararescue school from there i got hurt so they retrained me to be a parachute rigger okay uh yeah it's like a 90 fail rate out of that career field uh rigging no no pararescue okay yeah so special operations yeah i'm like fuck i can do it i can do this and then i i wasn't able to make it through i wasn't mentally tough enough i wasn't like just ready as a teenager you're not ready for any of that stress was that at kirtland yeah that was at kirtland yeah uh well you start off at lackland and then okay how not sorry to cut you off no you're good

how long has it how long did it take you to be able to come full circle with all the things that you just said not being mentally ready and mentally ready and be able to tell yourself that story. Not necessarily just say it because it sounds good. Like, you know, because we all have our past and not everybody comes to terms with where they were at then compared to where they are now. Right. And use it as a stepping stone as opposed to an excuse.

Right. Yeah. So my dad got really sick in 2013. Yeah. And at that point, like we didn't know how long he was going to have or what he was going to do and how often I would see him. So realizing that I need to be okay with the man he made me sure was, uh, I think a very glaring moment to me when I was looking in front of the mirror and I'm like, this is me, it's going to work out. Uh, and not having any shame about it really. Like I, I tell the story to most people that are afraid of failure. Um,

and you guys probably know this, you've, everybody's failed, right. And I've tried and I've tried and I've tried, but ultimately like it's, everything was a learning experience and looking at it from a learning experience standpoint versus, oh, I just fucked up here. I could have been so cool or whatever, so rich, so famous. But now I truly enjoy the work that I'm doing. And without all of the experiences that I've had or opportunities, I wouldn't be here. Not even close, dude.

I'd be slinging dope on the streets. It's huge. I totally feel that about you. The hustle is real. The hustle is real yeah so yeah uh from there i i started the parachute rigging course which is a pretty i don't want to say easy school but it's it's high risk right because if you mess up somebody's life is at risk um From there, I moved to Japan. I did some things with... That's where you met my boy, Billy. Yeah, I met Billy.

Billy was competing at the regional level when I was there. I just see this strong motherfucker in the gym lifting all the weights. That is the fastest white dude on the planet. He is fast and he is strong. At the time, i didn't know who he was he was training at another gym but yeah we crossed paths i think at regionals in okay 2014 which like he's been there for the past few years already yeah so um yeah super small world there and i didn't find out this about you till i think we met in person okay so you met jordan and that's

how you got a hold of me but you knew billy as well. I met Billy. Yeah. I don't think I've had an actual formal conversation with him. I knew who he was. Okay. Like he was like Okinawa's fittest fighter pilot slash celebrity slash whatever. That dude, like when you look at like a real life Top Gun Maverick persona who just lives the life. Right. That's Billy Sullivan.

Dude, that's him. Flying fighter jets, snow snowboards rides motorcycles like yeah dude he's just missing skydiving he does that too no he doesn't he just posted a picture of him jumping out of a plane shit i promise yeah yeah he's like a super adrenaline junkie i think think is the way I would put it. And there's something very freeing about doing activities that really, really scare you. Because when you envision your mortality is like when you actually want to live your life. And I mean, that's like one thing I've been trying to live by is that's why I jump out of airplanes so often. Like looking at yourself plummeting to the earth at 100 miles per hour. I'm like, if I don't do my job, like that's it. And I don't get to say goodbye to my family. I don't get to hug my dogs. I don't do

any of that stuff. But, uh, yeah, Billy, he's a very good shining example of what it means to, I think, live your life to the fullest. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So from Okinawa, is that where you found CrossFit? I found CrossFit while I was going through the pararescue pipeline. Okay. So there was like a very interesting parallel to time to train during that. You don't. Okay. But the guys that had like strength and conditioning backgrounds did the best in the course. Okay. And they ended up like passing and all that stuff. So yeah, that's where i initially

recognized it okay um and then from there i started pursuing like ways because for a long time i contemplated going back through the pipeline seeing if i can make it through a second time uh and i just i never went around it okay so uh finding the parallel between strength and conditioning and success in tactical operations was i think think, huge. And I was brought to light in that topic in Okinawa, I would say. Yeah. So it's always been the back of my mind. I just didn't put it into practice. I didn't really start coaching until I got to Okinawa.

Got it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. And then from Okinawa, you ended up in Alamogordo. Yeah, dude. Shitty shithole. Alamogordo.

That's where the true soldiers come from. Yeah, Alamogordo was a very pivotal time in my life because I was able to do a lot of things there. So I was teaching with the CrossFit HQ staff right at the tail end of my Okinawan career. Moved to New Mexico, started doing that a little more because there was only so much to do for me on the weekends. Yeah. And then I opened up a nonprofit CrossFit affiliate, um, training dependents, training military members, training active duty members, training everybody that had base access, um, in a very small facility that used to be a centrifuge. So like, it's funny how it comes full circle. Like we're still making people throw up. Yeah. Um, so I opened that up. I was, uh, the affiliate manager for about three years. Um, man, and, and leaving that was hard and leaving Alamogordo was a lot harder than I

thought it would be because you had built some. Yeah. Because I built my own empire because people, I mean, I respect feels great. Like being the guy that knows a lot about strength and conditioning in a small town of 10,000, 15,000 people was, was great to me. And people would seek me out for advice, asked me to buy coffee, like all those things just to talk about what I'm passionate about. And then moving here into a city of, gosh, I might be the bottom 10% here of knowledge and strength and conditioning. Uh, it's, it's very humbling. So like top dog, little park to small fish, big pond type deal. Interesting, man. What year were you stationed in Alamo from the Okinawa timeline perspective?

I was 15 to 17. 15 to 17? Yeah, 15 to 17. Spent quite a bit of time there. Yeah. Wow. No, no, no. 14 to 17.

Three years. Three years. But you've made, you you know very quick work I mean you put in a lot of time but you know in that that condensed period of six years on active duty yeah six you know you've done you've accomplished quite a bit in strength and conditioning and more specifically the CrossFit world with the the networking that you were able to do yeah I mean I think you're shining example of taking taking advantage of making

yourself available for opportunities to come your way and instead of finding an excuse you know uh you know being in the the pararescue pipeline or whatever not to do things well i'll i'll say yes and figure it out later you know which we've also discovered you, you have the, uh, the uncanny ability to overcommit, but, um, you know, you, you've definitely taken that and made it work for you as, as well. And, uh, so in your CrossFit career, you've, you've spent, you've coached some really prominent athletes and seen them be quite successful as well. Right. I mean, don't sell yourself short as being, you know, the small fish in the big pond now.

Totally. You've done more than most coaches that, you know, quote, unquote, are more credentialed than you are. Yeah. You've also competed at the highest level, too, within CrossFit. Yeah. Which a lot of people don't get a chance to do. Right. And I was really lucky.

And going back to the coaching side of things, uh, Mike, you and I can relate to this is when we start coaching people, it's, it's less about really fitness than how they're feeling, right? We become just an ear to listen to what they have to say, what problems are going through, um, and all that stuff. And yeah, I was very lucky to have just a really strong handful of people trust me with whether it's writing their programming or talking to them once a week like it was a huge um step in the positive direction for me and i think that's what brought me on to the power speed endurance staff was or formerly known as crossfit endurance is just having that human connection and knowing how to communicate with people in terms of success

of strength and conditioning like whether it was CrossFit or bodybuilding or just cycling, you know, it doesn't have to be singularly narrowed down to one sport. It's more of, and I hate, I don't know if life coaching is actually a thing. I've never done it, but I feel like I'm coaching them to make decisions in their life to succeed

inside the gym. Yeah. No, absolutely. Yeah. You know absolutely. Yeah. You know, because, you know, just as well as we do at the, within the context of being an elite CrossFit competitor, you have to have so much discipline outside of the gym

on top of just showing up and putting out workouts, you know, that you are indeed, you help people streamline that decision-making process definitely you know so you're not sitting there coaching them through the the rights and wrongs of life it's like you put that you have as a coach you have to have the ability to give people the foresight to realize that if i want to accomplish whatever the goal is i can't it puts things in very easy buckets i either can or cannot right do this thing if i want to get to wherever totally you know yeah it's uh it it took a lot of years and and most of my athletes are man half a decade older than i am you know and they're like

once they find out how old i am i don't know if it just strikes them the wrong way, but they ask like how much I've, how I lived so much life. And it was like, I didn't go to college, right? I didn't sit for four years in a classroom to try and learn from somebody teaching something that I don't care about. I went now and I did the things that I cared about. And that's how I really sharpened my skills. talking to people I think is nothing short of a God-given gift is like the gift of communication and showing and displaying affection and letting people know that you care about them and how your advice can or cannot impact them in a positive way no matter what they're trying to do so if it's entrepreneurship sport if it's being a father which like none of these or very rarely any of

these things pertain to me, but I know like the human characteristics of what it takes to be just a good guy or girl. Yeah. Where does that come from for you? Cause coaching or teaching, like not just as a title, but when you like embody that, where does that come from for you to develop that? Was that something that's been in you since you were a kid? Did you learn it throughout life? Because to be a really good teacher or coach, that's an extremely hard thing to do. And you know, with the UEndures, you guys are, I categorize you both as like fantastic coaches and teachers. Where do you get that from? So I think it branches from two things. The first thing was that my dad was the hardest worker I've ever met in my life, right? So he was a single parent when my mom left.

He was working in real estate as an appraiser. So he did that during the day. I would go to sleep. He would go to Albertsons to bag groceries. And my brother and I didn't know this until like, shit, I was 18 years old. Get out of here. Yeah. He's like, I was bagging groceries every night.

Wow. Yeah. So he was a really, really hard worker. And I wanted to be half the man my father wanted me to be because I know he had very high aspirations of what I was going to accomplish, like being in the military after I made that decision and whatnot. So my hard work ethic came from him. As far as my communication skills go, I like to see how people are reacting to the way I'm talking to them. So if their eyes are lit up, if they feel inspired, if they feel turned off, if they feel any of those things, I like to be able to tell it. And I believe that in a lasting impact way, it affects more than just that 10-second conversation we have.

So when I ask somebody how they're doing good is not a good answer. Right. And if I ask them on a scale of one to 10, how they're doing, they'll give like a five, six or seven answer, which isn't really great. Right. I want to know about your daughter. I want to know about your son in a soccer practice. I want to know about how your marriage is going. I want to know, um, deep, intimate details that you probably wouldn't share with just any other friend, but you need that extra push to get into the right direction. And, dude, I've been a terrible public speaker up until probably 2013, 2014, and I was all about more of an intimate setting. So now on a larger platform, smiling at my members when I'm coaching a class,

giving them hugs, letting them know that I care for them and that I love them before they walk out the door, I think is where I thrive. And really there's no background behind that. I just, if I don't see them tomorrow, cause they get into a tragic car accident, I want them to know that I dig them and I appreciate them. Yeah. Yeah. That's legit. Yeah. Does that, I feel like leadership plays a role here somewhere. And as we come up in the military, especially, the good mentors that we've had would tell us, take all the good things from the leaders that you have and take all the shitty things and throw it away. Did you have any leadership throughout your military career?

It was like, in terms of delivery, I want to be like that guy or gal. Yeah. I think I was introduced to so many people that I would never have met if I weren't in the military. And I mean, that goes with saying any career field. So, yeah, I had some really, really great leaders and I had some really great leaders at the time that ended up being shitty leaders. So like one of my biggest pet peeves is when people don't reach out after we stop seeing each other in person. Right. And I try to reach out to a couple people like once a month just to let them know I'm still thinking about them, that their friendship meant a lot to me. And that's something that I think was singularly common with a lot of leaders that you've had. So my first boss on my first deployment, his name was Pete Ortiz. He was a

PAVE Hawk pilot, just retired after 25 years. I would reach out to him and say, hey, I need a letter of recommendation because I'm applying to a JSOC position. And like a week later I had it, it was signed. It was perfectly written. Like everything about it displayed how I want to be a leader. Yeah. Um, because of the small care details. Like I remember when Daryl's dad was sick while he was in Afghanistan, I sent him to

do this, this, and this. I let him go home a week early, things like that. Just so the timelines met up and it's not, it's no longer about your life is what, uh, I think leaders have in common, right? Leaders being their own lives. It's about the people that you lead and how that can fill your cup in more ways than your actual success of being promoted or whatever else. Sure. Yeah. I was a 21-year-old when I got promoted to staff sergeant. Fuck.

Yeah, I was 21. I was leading 35-year-olds, and it just felt so weird to me. But I found out that they respected me, not because they had to because of the rank, but because I would ask them how they were doing outside of duty, ask them to hang out, ask them what I can do to help in other areas of their life. Right. Yeah. Dude, that's so, you know, critical in terms of what you do now. Yeah. Right.

Because from a business standpoint, it's not about your professional credibility. Right. it's not about your professional credibility right do you Jen genuinely give a shit about me right that's what keeps you gainfully employed is your ability to convey that genuine care and empathy sure for what your athletes are going through. And if you don't take the time to go through that discovery with people, nothing that you will

ever do will be sustainable. You can't build a community around it. The pedestal that people put you on will be extremely short-lived. And you'll, quote-unquote, peak in high school. And. You know, and like you'll quote unquote peak in high school. Yeah. And it's a lonely road if you try and do that shit alone. Right. Like I see a lot of your social media posts dedicating most of your success, almost all of it to your wife's

support, which is huge. Like you have to have people that love you during your time of need because you love them during their time of need. Um, and literally being able to have the conversations when things are difficult and they don't want to hear certain things is is highly invaluable and unquantifiable as like for importance right um so yeah i i think i would not be anywhere close to where i am without the people that i've met without the the lives that i have touched without the lives that have touched me. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting, man. Cause you know, the thing that comes to my head is like what you're just saying, people that really love you, they tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear, but being open to accept that advice. That's the hard part where you have to really

humble yourself and say like, this person loves me and they're really trying to see me progress. But a lot of people take it like, yeah, well fuck like i'm not gonna take his advice right you know where that where's that humility humility come for you uh because that's a hard thing to get over dude totally it comes from wanting to be a better human right and and you can't be a better human by only your opinion if i'm out there donating to a charity and I'm the only one that sees it, like that doesn't really fill my cup. But if I'm out there in the community, like doing physical things to help like outside of monetary value,

that's where I think you're going to make the biggest buck quote unquote. Right. Yeah. And being able to listen to feedback and deliver it is highly important. And one thing Lululemon is cliche cliche as they are, taught me is how to accept, hear, and apply feedback. Yes. So I've been told that my communication was shitty one day. Right?

So on a scale of 1 to 10, how well did you communicate? Like a 3. Why can't we make it a 10? What can we do to make it a 10? And this is where we can start paving your path to success. Yeah. Just being around people that want to make you better and that want to uplift you and being one of those people as well is, I think, where it comes from. That's dope, man.

Well, you can see, well, just from knowing you, I guess, how many months? Three? A couple of months now. Yeah. Four or five months. But it resonates from just knowing you in that short period of time. Like when you're coaching a class, you can tell you pay attention to the small details in everybody's performance. It's not just like giving a boilerplate chicken broccoli rice meal plan.

You cater to everybody's movements. Like, okay, your moving pattern is a little off. And you pay attention. I've noticed those details about you. And it goes a long way because it does show that you care. And you're not just like saying saying like, I give a shit. Yeah. You actually really mean it.

Yeah. And that's one thing I've noticed about you. So thank you, man. Yeah. I mean, coaching is easy to me. I can recognize human movement easy. So what challenges me? Well, knowing that John has a daughter named Kate.

Kate has leukemia and she's getting treated right now. It's the small things that I remember about my members that make them come back for more because now they're not just getting a program or one hour of coaching. They're getting human connection time and just generally able to unload their plate onto my shoulders where I, I don't take it home with me. I just listen to their issues and I don't try and problem solve for most people. I'm just there. And a lot of people just need that from others. They don't need a problem solver.

Like if your fucking backyard is messy, go mow the lawn. Right. I'm not going to be the one to tell you that, you know. Well, it's interesting because that was one of the most profound realizations i've had as a coach is the lack of appreciation that people have yeah on the planet earth like there's nobody out there that appreciates them for being them you know and it's a fucking travesty dude you know when and the the caveat to that is it it becomes even more of a travesty when you understand that regardless of how you feel about somebody the understanding that they are doing the best they can yeah with what they have yeah and being completely objective about that

you know they're not necessarily a shitty person. Right. They just don't yet have the tools to deal with the shit that they're going through. Right. Right. So why compound that by being an asshole yourself? Exactly. You know, like if you're having a bad fucking day, right, like let me be the sounding board for that. The best hour of your day at the gym.

Right. Right. Why can't it be the best hour? And that I actually try and communicate that to a lot of my members. Um, if they can come at the end of their day, like an afternoon class, that's the best time for me to hear about what you have to say. And for you to just take the weight off of your shoulders.

Cause, uh, and there are like two different people made, like people that work out better in the morning and people that work out better in the evening. But like most things in life, it's interchangeable. And we don't want to get comfortable with attending a 6am class every day. Sometimes we need to put our body through the stressors of an afternoon class, which we haven't done in years. Um, so having that sort of clear communication line between my clients, like, Hey, come at 4 30 PM

tomorrow. I want to hear about your day whether you work out or not um yeah that's absolutely right dude you nailed it it but there's there's an element of trust there yeah that can only be cultivated through your proactivity right as a coach and really asking those questions of discovery and that's where i feel like a lot of people miss miss the mark like our interns that come through phx one of the the biggest revelations they have is the human the the human part of it right it's like you it's not about just telling something fixing somebody squat right you need to connect with these fucking people right you know like like you said this is the

best part of their day they're coming in here to forget about the stress going on outside the gym. The car accident that they just narrowly escaped. Being rear-ended to the fucking red light. Their boss is an asshole. None of that needs to exist in here. As a coach, it's vital that you tell them none of that shit exists in here. Yep. You know, and you need as a coach, it's vital. Right. That you tell them none of that shit exists in here. Yeah. We're here to help be here. Yeah. Be present. Sure. You know, let's, let's focus on the shit that we can't control. Right. Right. And it's just

revolutionary for them. It's like, Oh my God. Like you see it on their faces every single day. It's like, Oh my God, you actually, you care. Yeah. Right. You know? And it's not about telling people to forget their problems. Those problems still exist. Sure. But for the hour that you were here, they are not a factor or they shouldn't be a factor. Yeah. And you are in control of that. Right. Totally. 100%. And one thing that, that Jeff does really well is like, I don't, I never know if Jeff is having a shitty day, right? He's walking in with a big smile on his face because I know that when he comes in here, he's going to give it all he's got. He's going to have a ton of fun doing it. And that takes time to learn, right?

I'm sure you weren't always like that. Like being a football player, knowing that you're going to run two miles for practice, like you have a very shitty attitude. But I guarantee like if we ask you to run two miles at the gym for the workout very shitty attitude but i guarantee like if we ask you to run two miles at the gym for the workout of the day you'd be like fuck this sucks but all right i'll do it right you know yeah uh it takes a lot of time for the person to want to like you said not necessarily forget but put that on the back burner because it doesn't really affect you right on dead lifting 405 20 times right right yeah you know that's what's so beautiful about i think fitness in general is that it gives you a place to escape from from sort of like your normal

reality yeah you know and when you're talking about like leaving things at the door that's why when i try to walk into a gym i think i don't talk about business when i'm in a gym setting because we go back to that stuff we We live at 24 hours a day. This moment we're here. Let's talk about lifting. Let's talk about locker room talk, whatever the hell we talk about. And from here we can separate. But if you walk in, like you're saying, with all your worries and you start talking about this,

this makes me feel this way. And it's like you're saying, it's not what you do. It's how you make people feel. If you walk in with your problems and start saying, my back, my this, you're going to make that person feel a negative sense toward you and be like well i don't want to talk to this person anymore right but it's all about energy why would you want to bring that into an environment to where you want to escape yeah yeah it's creating problems that don't exist right and i try to mentor all the interns that intern for me yeah saying that if their squat isn't fucked up don't try and fix it.

Yeah. You don't need to create a problem because if you tell them to load more forefoot, then guess what? Now they're on their toes. It's about overcorrection. So yeah, you're absolutely right. If you don't have to bring a negative energy, which you never do, it's always your choice. Don't do it. Right. Yeah. And that's a great way to think about it. And even like at the gym or outside of the gym, and we were going to get into this a little later about breathing. You can alter your state dependent on what you want to feel. Right. Yeah. By breathing. So if you're having a real shitty day, you walk into the gym, take a couple of deep breaths, close your eyes and say, all right, I'm here now. Yeah.

Let's do it. Sure. Yeah. I can't tell you how many times, because, you know, you spend a lot of time in personal growth and development. You spend a lot of time in personal growth and development. And, you know, exactly what you're saying about coaching is so, it just allows you to feel what you need to feel in the moment that you need to feel it. But then you're able to consciously

make a decision, and you can make those moments of stress and anxiety and depression or whatever. Everybody feels those fucking things, right? But you can consciously make those periods so much shorter. I can't tell you how many

times I've been sitting in a red light, you know, crazy shit's going on in the gym. I don't know what the fuck's going to happen tomorrow. And I just I can't worry about that right now. I need to go home and be present with my wife and my kid. It goes away. And I'll deal with it when I fucking

get to it. Shit that's going on at the gym Are you at the gym? If I need to deal with it, I should still be at the fucking gym. Why am I going home? Exactly. Right. Right. And you know, by being conscious of those things, right. You're able to, you're in so much more control of your life. Sure. And that's what I've noticed just in people in general, um, as a coach is like the lack of control that people feel. And that's where the stress really comes from. Undeniably. Yeah. So they, they come into the gym, they let whatever Sophie from

work that's talking shit about them, stress them out. Right. And then they go home and they feel even worse, you know, cause that now they didn't get a good workout in, they didn't talk to anybody about it and it's all pent up in their insides now so learning that maybe the gym isn't your sanctuary but there is somewhere right right whether it's overlooking a beach or you need to have one place that you can always go to that's going to relieve your stress and anxiety 100 a lot of times it's like right between your ears too just looking very very deep inside of yourself and knowing that wow i can fix this i can either punch sophie in the fucking face yeah or i can forget about it and forgive her because she's just a negative person and i don't want that to affect

me right yeah you know the best thing like one of the things i've started doing over the past year is like taking everything and practicing gratitude yeah so when you show up to a gym instead of like this workout's gonna suck ass we gotta we've got to run two miles, for instance, be grateful that you can or you're able to run those two miles because you think about it,

there's people today that are in a car crash, they don't have legs, whatever, they don't have that ability to do the things you're doing. Or whose bodies are broken by mine.

Yeah, bodies are broken. Thanks Marine Corps. You look at any task and you start saying, okay, I'm grateful I'm able to jump on the computer and work or show up to work because somebody always has it worse than you. I think when you start applying that, you start thinking a little bit more big picture and not falling into your sorrows and depths and all the sad shit, man.

Exactly, yeah. One thing I've noticed about your style of coaching and just you in general as a person is you speak with intention and you speak with affirmation. So instead of telling somebody that their squat is deficient, you lead with the fix. We're going to improve your squat by doing blah

blah blah yeah not man that looked terrible yeah you know which already puts you know now now you're forcing them to take steps back versus putting them in a scenario mentally where they're ready to make that leap forward you know where where did you learn that? Because that's not innate. Yeah. I think a lot of trial and error. So I remember in 2013, I did a very bad job coaching an individual at regionals. Okay. At the end of the day, at the end of the regionals, we didn't finish where we wanted to. So I had to sit him down and I had to say, dude, I've coached you wrong all year. Like I didn't reinforce your positive behavior and I only

dwelled on your negative behavior. So as a coach, that's a really difficult conversation to have because a lot of it is now I felt my fault. Um, so knowing that if I were to do it all over again, how would I do it? And why can't I apply that to, um, my behavior every day instead of to high-level athletes, right? Because Kim, the soccer mom of eight, needs to squat better because she's trying to pick up her daughters at the age of 80. How can I picture that or frame it to where she knows, okay, I'm doing this. I'm getting fixed here because I need to play with my daughter. Right. Yeah.

So that's where it came from. And I failed. I failed a lot. I coached a lot of. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so it's, that's where it came from. And I failed, I failed a lot. I coached a lot of people wrong. Um, but taking responsibility for those actions and knowing that I can fix it. Like I myself intrinsically can fix it for an external expression of gratitude or, or positive reinforcement. Yeah. That's such a growth mindset that you have though. You know, like a lot of people don't have that mindset because it's like nobody wants to take that responsibility and say I sucked It's still like well, I know I messed up but you still blew it at the game Yeah, that takes a lot to take to to you know to take that weight and say, you know

I messed up and bear that burden. Yeah, you know, it takes a strong person to do that man Well delivery is everything yes, you know Cuz like one of the toughest conversations to have is when somebody comes in the gym and moaning about their day yeah and you know it's very easy to be like well you you know at the level that we play at mentally now to just look at other people who aren't quite there yet and be like well you know you can fix that right right it's so easy to say yeah well you Well, you're an asshole for just saying it like that. Yeah, exactly. And with nothing behind it. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Well, now you're in investigation mode. Right. Well, why do you feel like that? What is it about so-and-so or whatever situation that has you still feeling like this hours after the fact? Right. Right? this hours after the fact. Right. Right. And giving it, helping equipping them to look inside themselves and realizing that, you know, a is probably not as big a deal as they,

as they say it is. Yeah. Or that, you know, it should have never affected them in the first place. Totally. You know, or,

you know, if they take the quantum leap, it was like, Oh shit, that was my fault. Yeah. Like not a lot of people do that. No, but it's so difficult

but when you can coach somebody into that space that's when you're fucking killing it man you know and that's why i feel like you're such a huge add to phx because that's where you come from right you know what i mean like that's your delivery from fucking day one yeah is let me know about you right you know totally it's not like you don't you're not on a mission to show people that you care yeah you just care yeah right you know and there's a night and day difference between the people that are out there to be something they're not and the people that are fucking genuine totally you know and so many people put on the mask and it's like you're you're not gonna last too long right that's exactly and you

see it all the time you're gonna get discovered yeah like in the internet content marketing space you can tell when somebody's genuinely genuinely believes in their product and they're trying to get it out there to help people right or somebody comes on it's like hey buy that and they do all this blow faded crap and like just try to sell you a product and it's like you can tell the person doesn't care and that's the thing things with coaching or. And it's like, you can tell the person doesn't care. And that's one of the things with coaching or teaching. It's a skill and it's a trait that you have to learn to really care for somebody and how people, how are you going to make them feel

and actually affect their lives in a positive way? Yeah, I've got, so I've got two thoughts about that. The first one being the companies that I work for or work with typically have a mission bigger than themselves, right? They're not sliding into people's DMS asking if they want to be a representative for their product. I know,

you know, you know, exactly what I'm talking about. There's no, there's no care there, right? It's a copy and paste from some high level athlete or professional, whatever.

Yeah. I'm asking if you want to be a member of their team, they're a very exclusive club. Come to find out three people on your block are now fucking doing the same thing as you and selling the same product as you. There's no care authenticity there. Yeah, I don't believe that that's something that everybody can do, which is apply the amount of appreciation for an individual.

So when I started working with gators, I told them that, hey, this is apply the amount of appreciation for an individual. So when I started working with Gators, right, I told them that, Hey, this is who I am. This is what I'm about. Like two days later, I had eight pairs of sunglasses at my door saying, Hey, here's a discount code for your friends to use. Um, tell them to hit it hard. Uh, we are also a very philanthropic company, so we will donate X amount to the Navy SEAL foundation. And I'm like, dude, this is amazing. This is my calling. I want to be bigger than myself. And I want the companies that I work with and for to be bigger than themselves. Yeah. That's legit, man. Totally. That's crazy. Cause like one of those, um, he's a monk, Don Duponti is his name. And he talked about his mentor. I don't know, or I don't know if you could call him his mentor, pretty much. When he was building this temple in Hawaii, basically the man passed away, his mentor.

But he made sure at his death that they burned everything that was him, his pictures, his writings. He said, because I don't want this to be the temple that I made. I want this to be a temple that lives a million years far past my life to be a home where people come and learn to be a monk. Totally. And he's like, once you learn how to do that,

you build something bigger than yourselves. He's like, he didn't have 10 year plans. He had a million year vision when he built this temple and he didn't want his name on any of the temples.

So by that time that those days come, people were just like, no, this place is a place to develop better human beings instead of like, this is the guy that we're going to look up to and pray to. Sure.

I was like, that was such an interesting mindset to live using, you know, you're building something that lives past, you know, just your name. I think that's an incredible mindset to have. Yeah. It takes real great people to do that. I really humble. It's interesting that you say that because, you know, in a lot of the business mentorship that I've had, you know, I've been advised not to use my name in the branding. Because if it was CrossFit Ders, guess what?

People come in the door looking for you. And then everything that's not you... Sucks. Exactly. It's like you're setting everything up for failure or lack of longevity. Right. But I,

I don't think it, it comes from that mindset, but I mean, I would like to think that that's where I'm at with the whole thing. Cause it's not, it's not about me. Right. Cause without Michael,

PHX would still be an amazing place to be. Oh fuck. I hope so. Shit. I hope so too. I mean, that's, that's's that's what I hope you know what I mean like I'm not I'm not gonna do I'm not gonna be at pH X in

the capacity that I'm there yeah forever right so to build it around me does a disservice to everybody coaches and members 100% you know yeah you're not able to do your job effectively and make the connections that you need to make to be an effective coach if people look at you like, well, you're not DERS. Yeah. You're not the owner. You're not the person on the billboard. You're not this person. It creates animosity from the gate. Exactly. That's crazy. Yeah. And you've done a great job of trusting your staff for that, is that you know that we are representing you. And that's why there's this long internship process for most people is you have to know that we sacrifice something to come work for you. And it's a six-month internship or a nine-month internship where it's unpaid

and you just have to learn about the community, about the sport, about the family, about everything else in and outside of the gym that involves the gym. Darrell, I always ask a lot of people's questions. I'm always intrigued by body art, tattoos, and things like that. And I've said it before. My brother, he started this documentary called visual, visual vocabulary. What does the art mean to you? And I see you have beautiful pieces on your arm. Can you dive into a little bit to what your visual vocabulary means to you and like what you're portraying? Cause I think it has a strong message. It means unemployment. It means unemployment.

It means how are you ever going to get a job? Yeah. so when my dad got sick, a lot of my stories are around when my dad got sick. So this ship at the bottom of my arm was for a quote that I had heard saying that an entire ocean can't sink a boat unless the boat allows the ocean to get in. Does that make sense? Yeah. So like kind of like an outside world perspective, intrinsically, if I don't let the negativity of the world affect me, I'm going to be on the climb forever. So from there, I just kind of built it up. Um, I was fucking 18 years old. So there are some mistakes on here, obviously just things that I can see maybe I'll just cover or whatever. Um, but yeah, I mean, altogether together, I thought a black and white

piece would look great. I've got my family's initials on my arm. Um, so yeah. And a couple more of my buddies that passed away on my left arm. That's dope, man. Yeah. Yeah. Every decision that I make needs to be not needs to be, but I would like for it to be something that they would be proud of me doing. Yeah. Yeah. because they were genuinely good people they died doing what they loved to do and what their calling was to do so yeah flying fighter jets or flying helicopters or being a helicopter gunner like those people are my daily influences and yeah i want to be like the best characteristics of all of them combined together that's trying to make them them combined together. That's dope. And try to make them proud.

That's dope, dude. Because like I noticed like especially people who live in the space we live in, when they put, you know, body art on or tattoos or anything, it means it always has a deeper message than just, so you said the 17 or 18-year-old mistake when you get a tattoo. It's always a deeper meaning behind it. So I think that's just a beautiful story and very interesting. I like that one about the ship.

Dude, yeah, it's great. That's dope it's great uh yeah there's been a lot of interesting tattoos i've been on the fence about and uh yeah maybe we'll put them into play here soon i don't know that's dope i've got a job now i don't have to worry about that that's dope yeah would you classify yourself it within the con because i don't I don't feel like you work for me. Yeah. I work a lot. We work together. Yeah. Right. And that, that's, I really hope that I know you, I know that you understand that and you feel that. Um, and I hope that the rest of, you know, our staff and PHX feels the same way, but, um, would you classify yourself within the context of an organization to be unhirable at this point yeah i think so um yeah i i wouldn't i think any job that i would take from here on out or

career or whatever you want to call it yeah would have to be with somebody that i that i respected and have worked alongside i don't think that I can bring Circle K, a great resume. I don't know how to sell potato chips or protein shakes or muffins or blueberries, whatever it is. I think that I have a very special skill set. And whether you're spiritual or not, I think I'm doing the work that God put me on this earth to do, which was meet people and talk to people and make them feel things, whether good or bad. Yeah. So unhirable. Yeah. 100%. Sure. And like you broke it down very well. I have to work alongside a partner, not for somebody. And you're the exact same way, right? You could never go work

for somebody right now. Absolutely not um so finding business partners slash friends slash mentors slash people that you are mentoring is how i think you build a successful business yeah yeah and whether the money comes with it or not you know that um your heart is full and it's beating faster than it ever has before right and that you're doing what you love to do that's dope man yeah i like that yeah let's dive in a little bit into the breathing topic because i wasn't a year and a half ago that we did wim hof breathing that experience dude first time ever doing it incredible experience right and i haven't stuck with the practice by any means but i mean when i was doing it that was it was honestly life-changing

man just talk to me a little bit how you you apply breathing into everything you're doing daryl keys are real he, bro, you breathe like shit. Dude, I can see your fucking – I can see your tonsils on number one. Hyperventilating over there. Easy handstand push-ups. Easy. You breathe like a horse. That's a really, really good question.

I'm an anaerobic athlete. I don't need oxygen. 100% fast twitch all day. Yeah, so there's, gosh, there's a lot of information now, or even before backing how to breathe properly. And we'll start from the very basics, where if you lay a baby on their back, you see when they breathe that their chest collapses,

that their belly is physically moving. So learning how to breathe at that their chest collapses, that their belly is physically moving. So learning how to breathe at the basic fundamental level, like a baby is a highly important. So why do baby squats? Well, why do they do all of these things so well? Because they haven't had any hindrance of the outside world quite yet. Um, but also thinking about it, like babies are hard to kill or easy to kill. Right. Right. Um, So we don't want to mimic everything with basic principles. We want to make it better and how we can develop our strength or our spirituality or our mental toughness to be a little stronger. So that said, number one, nasal breathing can alter state.

Mouth breathing can alter state. So whether you want to be in a parasympathetic dominant state, sympathetic dominant state, you have trouble dealing with anxiety. You're trying to down-regulate or up-regulate. There are breathing protocols for everything that you can do based on a customizable approach. If you have, let's say, a breathing coach, or you go to some website where you can plug in your exhale time and, and they'll give you numbers where it'll help you, I guess, deal with life a little better. You know? Yeah. So for an example, I texted Brian McKenzie early last year, like in 2017.

And I told him I was stressed out. I was going through a really rough time in my life. He had me do a test. I sent him the test results. He said, you're fucked up. Ten minutes later, he calls me and he says, you need to do this, this, and this three, three weeks of practice later, I felt, um, infinitely times better. Wow. I felt so much better because I was able to know that literally I can control everything that I feel and everything

that I want to feel within me through breathing only. And it's such like a, an easy thing to do, but it's not right. Everybody does it wrong. And unless you've been exposed to the science of it or some methodologies, it's going to be really hard for you to practice if you don't know what you're doing. But as an introduction to most clients that come to me and ask about breathing, I say just play with it. Breathe through your nose sometimes only for the workouts. Hold your breath on some things. Exhale slow. Those are all like fundamental principles that are going to help not only your fitness but your life outside of fitness.

Right. Yeah. Interesting. Because that's what they were talking about with that breathing seminar that we went to. They're talking about most of the majority of the world doesn't take a conscious breath their entire life. Right. Yeah. So they don't even know how to practice or the study of breathing.

Yeah. And then breath or air is a healing property all in itself. So if you learn how to do it properly, your body is going to heal itself and you'll be more in tune. Yeah. I just found that as an interesting concept because you know we breathe. You do it unconsciously. Totally. But to start understanding and breaking it down scientifically and saying these are the reasons why it helps and here are the things you can achieve while breathing properly.

Right. It's incredible. Like watching, what's his name, Wim Hof hof you know march up a mountain with bare feet yeah and he's sitting there fine it's like that's incredible well i think there's a difference between breath practicality and just human genetics there will never be a wim hof you could do everything that you've that wim hof has done in your lifetime, follow the exact same footsteps, but you're not going to be him. So I think that categorizing human ability with performance is really important, and you have to be able to distinct between the two. I know at this point, if I put Ders through an eight-week running program, he's not going to go run an ultra marathon. You know, not, not as fast as

a runner who went through high school running all his life or her life and now is running 135 milers, right? You have to detach from wanting to be somebody else. And I had a huge identity crisis growing up, like trying to be like the cool kids on the basketball team or trying to stand like a certain guy and trying to stand like a certain guy and trying to talk like a certain guy. At one point I had so many black friends that I was starting to talk like him. And then two days later, my dad sat me down like, Hey, cut the shit out. Like, who are you? Why are you changing? Uh, yeah, it's, it's about creating your own identity with the tools that you're given. So let's call it breathing. I am now

generally a calmer person because I practice breathing. I wasn't always that way, but I'll never be as calm as the calmest person on this planet. There'll be some Chinese girl in her garage, always calmer than I am because she's not having to work in a basement somewhere. Right. That's an interesting, I like how you really pivoted to that point because a lot of people, they model, but they also adapt other people's skill sets and try to become that one person instead of being their unique self. Yeah. It's incredible.

It's incredible. You see, but you don't notice it sometimes because you're looking up to a lot of people and saying, okay, I'll just use like a Gary Vaynerchuk. Everybody, I can tell who watches Gary Vaynerchuk's material because the content they put out is 100% Gary Vaynerchuk voice. And like they lose their voice along the way. And I feel like that's the tragedy of it because people feel like to be successful where these people are, that you have to follow their steps exactly. Instead of just modeling their success and doing it your own way they feel like they just follow everything to the t and like that's you know that's the

tragedy tragedy of things there's variables in that that you can't account nobody talks about right nobody talks about like the chance opportunities right that gary vatterchuk got right you know what i mean like he doesn't own all of his success. Regardless of what he's preaching, like, there were circumstances that happened that weren't part of the plan that integrated in the plan. Right. You know? And you can't, regardless of how, you know, dialed in you model your behavior, you can't

duplicate instances of chance. 100%. And I think that I'm sure all of us here sitting here have had loss in their lives, right? So if somebody that I love passes away, I think, okay, if that yellow taxi didn't cross the road at that time, maybe Mark would still be alive. And it's the same thing with success, right? Had Gary not been in the spot that he was in at that exact moment, talking to those exact people when the weather was this exact temperature, things would have been monumentally different, right?

Not even close. Right. Right. And those are the small things that you have to attribute to just letting life take the reins. Yeah. You can work hard and you could be at the right places but if it's not going to work out sometimes it just won't work out right yeah right well it's

like the the the pararescue stuff yeah you know exactly like i love that you own your story because how many buds candidates do we know man like i was in seal school but you know it's like okay motherfucker yeah like own that shit right and move on like understand that you are not where you're at now because you failed but 100 you're where you're at now because of how you've let how you've let that experience at buds yeah inhibit your ability for growth yeah exactly if you want to be completely honest about it yeah you know just wasn't going to work out for you, bro. Could have attacked it a thousand different ways. At some point, you just need to own that shit and move on.

And that's the kind of stuff that we're talking about is how many instances of chance, positive or negative, do we hang on to that even the positive stuff inhibits us from getting to where we're actually trying to go. Yeah. I remember meeting you for the first time and hearing that you DERS went to the Air Force Academy, but left.

Oh, no. And I. I blew it. Yeah. Yeah. You blew it. And one thing. You don't have to sugarcoat it for me.

I knew the exact moment I wanted to come work with and for you when you said, oh, I got kicked out for this. Like not that, oh, the dean was being stupid. My roommates were smoking crack or whatever it was. Like it was your fault and you know it and you owned up to it. And then you took that and you ran somewhere else to go play football in West Texas or like wherever it was. Yeah. Yeah. So that, that was a very pivotal point in my life when I knew that I wanted to coach at CrossFit PHX because this is a man that owns up to himself and his mistakes. I appreciate that, man. I mean, that's kind of

like my expectation. That's my litmus test for just people in general. Right. You know what I mean? Me and Jeff had a situation a couple of weeks ago. He's like, he comes in the gym, like off hours in pants and flip flops. I'm like, oh, we about to have a talk. Nike's, bro. My Nike's. I was like, oh, man, he is not here to work out. Right.

What's up? And we just had a very honest conversation. Like, are we on the same page? Am I good with you? Are you good with me? Yeah. And, you know, ultimately came down to, are we going the same page am i good with you are you good with me yeah and you know ultimately came down to are we going to keep doing this podcast right you know and you know what when it was all said and done and the dust had settled it was like i have so much more respect for him now yeah you know it's like he doesn't

own other people's issues right you know like once everything is out on the fucking table yep it's like well the way you feel about that is not my responsibility exactly and people have to learn to speak for themselves right like i speak for i i don't speak for mike i don't speak for jeff i don't know what they're feeling. I think I know what they're feeling, but really how much credibility does that give me? Like, I think my dogs are hungry because they eat all the time, but does that mean I'm going to feed them every time? Like every time they come back and food? No. Um, yeah, I, I, you have, you're the only one that knows what goes on in your head, not what goes on in somebody else's head. Like whether you've been married 10 years, 30 years, like sometimes your wife's going to surprise you with her thoughts.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I can't tell you how many times I've been like, well, I did this because I thought you thought this. She was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I bought you flowers because I thought you liked flowers.

Hey motherfucker, I'm allergic. Right. You know, chocolates, baby. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a really good point um just speaking for yourself and not accepting your own external opinions about other people when did you stop making excuses for people i stopped making excuses for people when um gosh i

had gym members saying that like we were talking about before the podcast, I would do this, but like joining the service, I would have loved to have been a Navy SEAL, but I was going to go swim for Arizona State or whatever, you know, those butts are, and I listen for it. I hear it and I absolutely listen for it. And when I speak, I'm conscious of it. So when I'm apologizing to somebody, I never say but. And when I say that I fucked up, I never say but. I became very conscious of that when I found out that I was making just too many excuses for myself. Sitting at home, writing an email saying, hey, last week's program fucked you up.

I'm sorry, but you should be used to the volume. Like, no, like that's the person that's not really anything that I can make an exception for. It happened because they were in a specific place at a certain time. Last week, two weeks ago, I had an individual qualifier from California. He was going to qualify, I would like to say, going to qualify for regionals as an individual on the new west coast region which is highly competitive yeah and he got a concussion on handstand push-ups what yeah it's his fourth concussion so i'm thinking of it now like i can apologize to him for not having done enough handstand push-ups right in his programming but just accept the fact that he's predisposed to being concussed. Exactly. This was his

fate either way. I could have programmed no handstand push-ups. I could have programmed 100 handstand push-ups every day. It would have happened either way. My arms are short. That's why. They don't want to use names. I was about to qualify.

Why do you have to tell my story like that, bro? Jeff's running head first into the wall every day. Yeah, man. You should be used to that shit, man. It's a beautiful thing when you stop accepting your own excuses. You made a post about it the other day, I think. Well, Nicole definitely doesn't let me buy my own bullshit. She just holds me accountable for my decisions.

That's what everybody needs. Whether it's, I don't care, like your dog, your little sister, your pastor. Oh, yeah. Just somebody needs to hold you accountable. There can't have too many people. There won't be too many people holding you accountable. Right. And I brought that to me.

Yeah. Yeah. I brought that to the Lululemon staff the other day when we had a staff meeting. I'm like, why don't we tell everybody our goals? That way they can help us and they can call us on our bullshit when we're not doing it right or we're taking a step in the wrong direction. Sure. Right. Yeah.

Well, it gives you power when you have somebody, when you take the accountability to, you know, because otherwise you're playing victim the whole time saying these are the reasons why this didn't happen. But when you say you take the accountability, you can always look at the solution how to solve this problem. You know, one of the things I got when I met Grant Cardone in person, there was a situation where the lights went out in Miami, and, you know, his house lost power, the refrigerator, the food went bad, all that stuff. Then he went back to himself, he said, it's my fault that the power went out. Everybody's like, no, the whole Miami-Dade County went out. He's like, no, I could have had generators on backup that kept my house fueled to where the electricity goes on so the food wouldn't have gone bad.

And I was like, wow, to have that type of mentality to think that no matter the situation, the cause, even if it was just a county going down, he was already thinking of solutions on how he could have changed his situation to make it a positive way. Absolutely. And so if you deal with people on that level that have major success, people whose major success, it gives you no excuse to create little, what do you call it, excuses for yourself because you can always be the solution to any problem that you have in your life. Yeah, definitely. I would absolutely agree with that. Without me making the conscious decision to fix shit that was going south, it would have never gotten fixed i can't i can't count on uh my brother i can't count

on my parents to always be there to bail me out right that's at some point in your life you just got to be quote unquote an independent black woman yeah i did not expect that one. There's so much shit that Daryl says. I did not see that coming. I did not expect that one. Madea. But it's interesting, though, because I respect that so much about you. Because when you and I have had dialogue, number one, I leave you hanging on text messages a lot. All the time. Because I want to have conversations in person

I hate text messages especially when it's a point of friction however minuscule or huge it may be but anytime I've given you feedback positive or negative you take it in establish it's value for you

and then execute a decision. Right. But what you don't do is personalize it. Right. And that's the first instance we had that kind of interaction is when I knew that I want to keep you in our community for as long as that ride will last. Totally. Because you're right for everybody that you interact with yeah because the one thing that everybody does is they will

only let people get away with that they let themselves get away with and when you hold yourself to a standard nobody's getting away with yeah you know what i mean yeah so i was like this is this is the mentality that you know everybody should you know be trying to elevate to yeah thanks man i appreciate that yeah i uh i can confidently say that any other establishment that i would choose to work for in the future will not provide that to my table. Yeah. You know, like I need people that are like-minded like me, good businessmen, good fathers, good sisters, good, all of those things, um, for myself to be successful. And I recognize that. And I think you recognize that in yourself. So you are like, I forgot what the quote was, but you are the five

people you hang out with most. And if you're hanging out with some addicts on the street, like when is it your turn? Like when is it going to be you? Because it's coming. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's not if. Yeah, it's when.

It's when. You know, people don't take that for fact. Right. You know, they're like, well, they start categorizing people. Well, I don't hang out with so-and-so negative person that fact. Right. You know, they, they, they're like, well, they start categorizing people. Well, I don't hang out with so and so negative person that much. Right. Motherfucker.

If they're on your list, you hang out, you probably hang out with them more than you consciously realize. If I open up your text messages and their names on there. Yeah. Yeah. On the first page. Yeah.

Totally. That's the honest truth, man. Yeah, dude. But dude, not thank, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day.

I know it's your day off from everything. But you got a lot going on, man. One of the greatest and worst things about you is the overcommitment thing. Dude, super overcommitted. I'm trying to fix it. I will fix it. Yeah, exactly. The affirmation, right?

Yeah. But before we let you go, man, I want to ask you two questions. You can answer them on any level, mental, physical, spiritual, whatever. All three if you want. Okay. But it's about your daily routine. Okay. What do you do each and every day to feed yourself and kickstart your motivation?

And the second, the follow-on to that is what do you do each and every day to fuel yourself and create that carryover of momentum yeah you know into the people that you interact with and you know the the next day yeah um to feed myself i every morning i wake up and i do one of two things i either like go take a piss first or i let feed my dogs and let them out first. Those two things, if I do it any day out of order, like my whole day feels thrown off. So I like being outside, watching my dogs off the leash, like just do their business. And it's very meditative for me. So I have that routine where now I'm outside in the fresh air, in the sun, usually like just standing there and reflecting on, oh, I slept well, or I had this dream, I had this nightmare. Yeah, that's what creates for me a

successful path throughout the day. Now, what fuels me through like carrying over weeks and weeks and years to come is daily self-reflection and explaining how I could have managed a situation better or how I ideally managed a situation. So, um, Lindsay and I will sit on the couch every night. I'll tell her about my day. I'll tell her about the shitty parts because I don't want to have days like that any longer. Yeah. Not just to vent. Sure. Right. So trying to find a solution to how i can i guess create my own destiny right and laying down the path for it dope yeah nice man before you get out of here where can everybody follow you and support you and everything you have going big dog yeah so uh a couple few companies support me uh three fuel so if you go to three fuel.com uh gators eyewear

shoe cue and power speed endurance uh and the best way to get a hold of me is probably email. So Daryl at unscared.com would be great, man. Nice, dude. You know, for everybody out there in TV, ShoeMeLand, you know, support Daryl on all those platforms. And as a virtue of all those platforms, you also get to know Daryl a little bit better. And, you know, if you're in the need for, you also get to know Daryl a little bit better. And if you're in the need for quality programming

or getting yourself to the next level, Daryl's your guy. He definitely knows what he's talking about. And if nothing else, he'll get you breathing better. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Thanks, guys. Thanks for taking the time. Thank you, boss. Appreciate it.

Until next time, feed me, fuel me. And that'll do it for this episode with our special guest, Daryl Wang. If you want to check out everything that Daryl has going, go to the full show notes on feedmefuelme.com. Also be sure to connect with us on social media, including Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at feed me, fuel me. We would love to hear from each and every one of you. If you found this episode inspiring in any way,

please leave a rating and a comment in iTunes so we can continue on this journey together. Also, be sure to share it with your friends and family on social media, including Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, or any other social platforms that you use. We really appreciate you spending your time with us today and allowing us to join you on your journey. We would love to hear your feedback on this episode, as well as guests and topics for future episodes.

To end this episode, we would love to leave you with a quote by John C. Maxwell. People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Thank you again for joining us and we'll catch you on the next episode. Way to make it to the end of the show. As always, go to Shrug Collect over at iTunes, give us a five-star review, positive comment, and hit thrivemarket.com slash feed me to get that great deal on awesome groceries. See you next time.