Barbell Shrugged - Fix Your Marriage and Relationships w/ Ashley Bledsoe  — Feed Me Fuel Me #110

Episode Date: October 25, 2018

There is a point in everyone's life when they realize that they have been playing it small. On the other side of that moment you have to make a decision: Continue life in the shadows of others or start playing to your fullest potential.   Our guest this week made that choice and is playing it bigger than ever! Ashley Bledsoe crushes this episode of Feed Me Fuel Me. If you are in a relationship this one’s for you. If your relationship isn’t yummy, this one’s for you. If you find yourself asking your other half for permission, this one’s for you. If you tell yourself a story that inhibits your happiness and fulfillment, this one’s for you.   This one is deep & dope! Thank you Ashley! - Jeff and Mycal ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/fmfm_mrsbledsoe ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Please Support Our Sponsor @vuori- www.vuoriclothing.com - Use coupon code FEEDME25 ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/barbellshruggedpodcast TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

This is episode number 110 of the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast with our special guest, Ashley Bledsoe. Welcome to the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast. My name is Jeff Thornton alongside my co-host, Michael Anders. Each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message related to our three pillars of success, manifestation, business, fitness, and nutrition. Our intent is to enrich, educate, and empower our audience to take action, control, and accountability for their decisions. Thank you for allowing us to join you on your journey. Now let's get started. Hey, what's good, fam?

Welcome to another episode of the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast. There's Jeff coming at you from the edge of the world, Encinitas, California. Today, we've got the esteemed pleasure of sitting down with Ashley Blesso. Hi. How are you? What's up? I'm great. I'm great.

So good to connect with you. Yeah. I'm excited to be here with you guys. Yeah. Thanks for being on the show. So good to connect. Yeah, I'm excited to be here with you guys. Yeah, thanks for being on the show Yeah, thank you. I'm so used to being on the the headset with you know, asking questions or getting asked questions by Mike This is this is awesome, you know Having I really want to have the relationship conversation with you because I know that's a an area of focus for you

professionally, but also being the the other half of somebody who is just driving at in fifth gear at all times. Go, go, go. Yeah. And not to mention all the stuff that you're carrying for yourself. You know, both of you together are just one unstoppable force.

And it's been, since I've known you, awesome to watch the balance that you guys have through it all. So I want to touch on your nomadic experience, life without an address, and just kind of dive in with you. But for everybody who doesn't know who you are, give us the cliff notes of how we got to this patio in Encinitas.

Wow. Yeah. Let's see. Yeah. I'm Ashley Bledsoe. I'm married to Michael Bledsoe. And we've been married for almost nine years. And we left Memphis, Tennessee and moved out here in a trailer.

I was managing our gym back there. And yeah, we just moved out here. Lived in Um, I was managing our gym back there and, uh, yeah, we just moved out here, lived in the trailer for about nine months. And, um, in that, that's when I really started learning what a wife is for me. Okay. Um, and that journey, um, I, I lost a sense of who I was outside of being Ashley. Like I, I was, I would introduce myself as, oh, I'm Mike's wife, Ashley. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. So that was really the beginning of when I started like, oh, who am I outside of just Michael and like, you know, in our relationship. And, you know, he started, you know, Barbell Shrug was going and traveling a lot and go, go, go.

And I just, yeah, I just saw, like, how I could support in a lot of ways of being home, you know, in our trailer and then traveling with him as well. And, yeah, we lived here. And then we decided we wanted to move into a house. And we moved into a house for about three years. And then from there we decided, you know what, let's just sell everything and go travel around the world and live out of two bags. And, yeah, so we went nomadic. And then we got tired of that.

Now here we are in this place. That's awesome. That's a journey. Going through that process where you're trying to discover yourself, how long did that take you of that self-discovery and actually sitting in who you are and understand like your beauty as a person and like, I'm Ashley, I'm here and to take over the world, you know? Yeah. A long time. Yeah. It felt like a long time to me. Um, it was probably a good couple of years. Uh, we moved out here. Yeah. And, um, I just, I really

felt lost. Um, I didn't know what my, you know, purpose, my mission. I was like, what am I doing outside of just cooking food and, you know, making sure Michael's provided for. Like, I wanted more. And we were at Burning Man. Burning Man's a great place to, like, really learn about yourself. And I was there, and I was just like, Oh, I'm, I'm hiding underneath Michael's coat. You know, I'm just kind of like, you know, coming along and I'm not actually allowing myself to be seen by other people fully. Um, and so when I realized that

I started stepping out a little bit more and, uh, just like, who am I? Like, what do I want? How do I want to show up in the world? What do I want to be able to provide and give and love people for? So, yeah. When you, when you came to that realization that you were quote unquote hiding underneath Michael, did you discover it to be a conscious or a subconscious thing? It was a subconscious. Um, I, I didn't really realize what I was doing. I, I thought that as a wife, that's what I was supposed to do. You know, um, you know, I grew up thinking, Oh, you, you date, you get married, you buy a house, you know, the white picket fence, and then you have babies and you know, you go to work. And I had that way of thinking. And then you have babies and you go to work. And I had that way of thinking.

And then when we moved out here, that was kind of like, whoop, whooped out underneath me. I'm like, oh, okay. And so, yeah, I was just learning like, okay, I'm hiding underneath this. And it's because I don't know what I want. I'm not sure of this anymore. It's totally different than what I thought. And so it's been a process of just discovering more and more of who I really am and just filling back the stories and the layers.

That's interesting. And what did Burning Man, like specifically what happens at Burning Man? Cause I hear about it and I see like the craziness that goes on there where people just sort of go, I guess like that. I think a Mad Max when I look at Burning Man. I've seen that movie. I know what you're talking about. What actually goes on in, as far as like at the event and then the self-discovery that made you that sort of had, where you had that epiphany to make this, you know, becoming of yourself. Yeah. Um, so our first year we went to Burning Man, I believe it was in 2014. And that was right after we bought our travel trailer from my parents and we were living in it. And then we took everything we owned at the time when the trailer and stayed at Burning Man. And I would say Burning Man is

a place to see expression and to be expression. the, my favorite things, and it was something I learned this year. Um, one of my favorite things about Burning Man is it can be, and someone can have an idea, a dream, a vision, and then they just create it. And so at Burning Man this year, they had this, uh, 600 drone show. So there were 600 drones up in the sky and it was in the middle of the night, midnight and 2 AM. And they, they had all these, yeah, 600 drones up in the sky. And they just did this light show of like making these different shapes, faces, animals. And it was just like flow and they had it to this most beautiful music. And in that I was just like, someone dreamed this up and fucking made it.

Like they just did that. They created that. Are you kidding me? And so for me, that's what Burning Man is, is an opportunity to really express yourself in any form and fashion. And it's accepted and loved and appreciated and applaud for. You know, it's like it's encouraged. Sure. And yeah.

And so, you know, it's art, music. It's a beautiful place. And it's, and it's also hard because you're in the middle of the desert in the middle of nowhere. You, you have to bring everything in for yourself for the week, water, food, and then you have to take everything out and you're dirty. You don't always get to shower as much as you want. You know, you get stuck in these dust storms and, and, and there's a lot of times there's a breaking point there too. It's like,

you're like on this high and then all of a sudden it's just like, you get knocked out and you're like, Oh, that was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, you know? And then, and then you come out of it and you know, just like in a lot of life too. Sure. Sure. You know, it's, it's really interesting watching the dynamic that you and Mike have in that there's nothing that he does or do that you're telling but that doesn't mean he hasn't been right there with you oh exactly yeah i mean he's always been in full support of anything and everything i wanted to do and and and encouraging and he's actually there's been times where he's given me like a gentle little you know like hey this could be good i'm like yeah okay you know sure and so

try it out i'm like that was awesome you know so he's always in full support and any ideas creation things i want to try you know he's like okay let's do it you know and and if it's something you know example you know i'd love to go to disneyland which is right up the street right and he's like, okay, let's do it, you know? And, and if it's something, you know, example, you know, I'd love to go to Disneyland, which is right up the street. Right. And he's like, I'm not so much into that, but if you want to find someone else to go with you, totally, I'll support that. And if you really want me to go, I'll go, you know? And so able to like, really be like, oh, okay, I can do that too. I don't have to have you to do that. Sure. Right. Giving yourself, giving each other the permission to do your thing, do his thing, and then do your thing as a collective. I think that's massive in the relationship department.

And that's one of the huge initiatives that you have is being a spouse of an entrepreneur or being an entrepreneur with a spouse, creating that awareness, uh, as a couple and a collective, you know, that's, that's one of your, your driving forces. You're trying to create, uh, an awakening in that space. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Yeah, absolutely. Um, yeah, exactly. I find it fascinating. Yeah. Thank you. I, I, I do too. Um, no, I, I find that, you know, it is easy to lose yourself in a relationship to where that's the only thing that matters. I think more in my opinion, more so for women. Um, however, it can happen for men too. You can get lost in the relationship and, and, and so it's really important to be able to have your individualism, right?

Being able to have the things that you're passionate about that you're doing and the things that, you know, your partner's passionate about and they're doing. And then you have your collective thing that you're doing together. And both can help support in your individual creation. And I think that when you have a sense of more individual things that you do, and it doesn't have to be a big thing. It could be, you know, going dancing, you know, finding a dancing class that you enjoy doing, something that feeds your soul, you know, and creates this like, ah, that felt good for me. And you come back into a relationship and it's more powerful and more dynamic and it's just more juicy in it. You know, you have a sense of individuals creating this like thing together. You know, I look at it as the circle, you know, you have Michael and then you have me and our relationship that we formed together. That's what we create together is that little piece. There's still a whole other side of who we are

individually. Right. And so, yeah, I think, you know, and finding where in entrepreneurial world, you know, there's a lot of drive. There's a go. There's busy. There's traveling. And for me, I was staying home and I was staying in the same pattern, the same routine. And Michael was getting to go out and explore and have all these adventures. And it was really hard for me to like at that time to want to celebrate because was like, I felt like I was getting left behind or I wasn't important. Um, you know, he's doing all these things and I'm just stuck back here taking care of the house and, you know,

don't mind me. I'm just making sure bills are being paid. And so there, there was that dynamic. And when, um, when I realized like, Oh,, oh, I'm a part of the team, too. This is how I'm seeing what you're up to now. Kind of like you were talking about with your wife. Like at some point it hit like, oh, I'm understanding. I'm getting your mission now. I can be on board. Yeah.

You know? And I'll touch on that because I feel like it provides a lot of context. If you guys haven't seen the movie The Founder, where Michael Keaton is Ray Kroc, the McDonald's guy, there's a period of the movie where nothing is going right with the business and things are on the rocks at home, right? And he's on a plot of dirt where they're going to build a McDonald's. And for context, my wife and I are watching this together. And Michael Keaton walks up to this plot of dirt and he grabs a handful and he's sifting it through his fingers. And he says to himself, just be right one time. And in that moment, Nicole turns to me and she says, now I understand. Cause it's crazy in this entrepreneur space, especially when you bring somebody who doesn't necessarily play in this world. I, you know, you're, you're a military spouse, right? Uh, so you kind of get it like, you know, it's because uncle Sam said, so only goes

so far. Right. Uh, in, in the entrepreneur space, there's just so many moving pieces, you know, I'm working on this deal and then it falls through. I'm working on this deal. Then it falls through. I'm working on this deal and then it takes off, but it doesn't last as long as you planned on it lasting, you know, like that, that ebb and flow that roller coaster of the deal is just part of the game right where us playing it it's cool it's understood and at the same time it's very hard to explain so to have like that moment with my wife, I mean, ever since it's just been, I don't, I don't know, but okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's the amount of, um, trust that starts coming in because in, you know, for, for me, yeah, I didn't understand

what, why are you going to this? Why are you spending this much money going to this thing? Like what? Like we don't, we don't have that money right now. Like how are we going to pay for food? Like, you know? Okay. And so it just, it took where at one point I was like, Oh, like he's doing something big and it takes, it takes a leap. It takes a jump. And, and the best way that I can be a wife and a partner to Michael is to be in full support of, Hey, you know what? I trust you. I trust what you're doing and what you're up to. And I know that it will, it will work. You know, at some point I'm, I'm along for the ride. Let's do this, you know? And I think trust is huge in a relationship. And, and, um, one of the coolest parts I think with trust is it's 100% yours. So you have the opportunity, like you have full control of your trust and you can give, or you can withdraw it, you know?

And how powerful is that to be able to give your partner all your trust? Sure. You know? Oh, it's massive. It's cool. And what mechanisms do you put in place for that? Like with relationships, because like an entrepreneur, a guy that we had on our show, John Keogh, him and his wife, as he's building his business, they have a standing date where they don't miss it no matter what's going on in the world. Like, and you find a lot of like, because I'm not married, I'm not in a relationship,

but what mechanisms do you put in place to make sure that you and Mike stay on track and continue to build and like keep the fire going for the relationship and make sure you're on the same page? Yeah. Yeah. We, we have a few things. Um, one we do have, you know, when, when we're in town and it works, we have, we have a date night, you know, where we go and we connect with each other and you know, phones are off silent or very seldom used during that time maybe to take pictures of each other

They're not you know being used and and for me my my love language is quality time and so that means a lot to me And then also we've we've created a shared vision I believe having a shared vision as a couple is really really really important because, you know, when, when you're in a relationship with someone and there's no vision, it's, it's just you and them and the focus is on each other. And if you have the shared vision, it's this higher, this purpose, this higher vision, this thing that you're both going towards. And so when there's conflict, um, when there's, uh, frust frustrations, unknown, you can look at instead of like each other. It's like, oh, yeah, this is serving our mission. This is serving our vision.

So, okay, I can do this. Yeah. So, yeah. uh, Logan Galbraith in the, uh, the organizational leadership space in that, uh, having an anti fragile relationship with your inner circle that the, no matter how heated things get or how oppositional, uh, the argument or the, the, the point of view with that shared vision, the greater good always prevails. So it's not about me proving you wrong or you trying to be right is it's more so does that decision or my decision facilitate this to the best, you know? And I, it's, it's interesting because we've not had that discussion as it applies to a relationship.

And it all holds true. It's all, yeah. And I think that's one of the coolest. Once again, I love relationships. And I think anything that you can do with your romantic partnership, you can do in all areas of your life and apply. So you can even have a vision for, you know, your business, you have a vision for your coworkers, you can have a vision for, you know, family, you know, anything. And so it can be applied in all areas. And, and, you know, with, with partnership,

you, you get to bring, you get to see each other's best and worst. And, and I think with that, it allows a little more leeway in practicing those things right like there's like oh I'm redo I messed up on that one can we can we start over that's another thing that we actually and you know as a structure in our relationship or as like a practice we have is the game. And so, um, so I love the reading. I used to have to do it a lot. Not so much anymore. I had a little temper, you know? And so let's say something happened and I, you know, I, I was like, Michael, Oh, I can't believe you would do that. You know, I just start yelling and like get all overreactive and just like in the moment, you know, in the moment of the feeling.

And I'm like in this story or whatever. and when I can recognize that I'm in it or even you know he may recognize it it's like redo redo game and it breaks up the tension that has been created and it like okay well now now we can talk about what's really going on why what's what's coming up, you know, what's really, where are you at? What's your feeling, you know? Why are you feeling this way? You know, what's going on for you? So it kind of just disrupts that intensity and brings it back down to, like, okay, let's get back to, like, what's really going on.

Yeah. And have you always had that growing up where you can have that open conversation because I find it's like it's tough if you you know haven't had those situations and very exposed to them where you can sort of uncover those stories yourself have you always done that or was it the relationship that helped you start seeing these patterns that happen where these you can start recreating that story and make it more of a positive thing in the relationship so yeah and growing up um I grew up southern baptist my dad's a Southern Baptist preacher. And so, um, it was very black and white, right and wrong. Um, and, uh, you know, no excuses, um, kind of thing. And so, um, I had a hard time really speaking into like what was going on or

being open. Cause I didn't want to, um, I didn't want to be a, you know, I didn't want to get in trouble or I didn't want to cause any pain for anyone else. And so I took on a lot for myself. And then, you know, when Michael and I really started doing a lot of the personal growth and personal work together, um, we, we dove into it with our relationship and we practiced sharing, um, vulnerably, you know, and, and one of the, one of the games, and I think games are fun to do because it, it creates a little silliness, a little lightheartedness in there, um, and, and play. And, um, one, one game, one practice that we did was we would share something about our past that, you know, so like Michael shared something from his past when he

was younger that he wasn't super proud of. He was a little embarrassed about. And so we sat down on the couch one night and we're like, okay, let's share something that, you know, like we're, we're a little shamed of and embarrassed about from our younger days. And, you know, he shared, he's like, I cheated on test, you know, and I got to be in the practice of being I love you I totally accept like I love you still like that part of you that you're ashamed of that cheated on that test I love that part you know and and so it started being able playing that game and doing that practice allowed me to be able to open up a little bit more easily like oh he likes that about me oh he likes that you know he still loves me even though I told him I cheat on a test too, you know?

And so it just opened up the window to be able to be more open and vulnerable and share. That's cool. Go ahead, Darren. So here's a question for you, because it's, to me, more than obvious how that practice, those lessons, the personal growth and development

serves you and your relationship with Michael. But what is it about that experience and what you've learned and applied that has manifested in your passion to create space to now go and teach others what you've learned? I, but most people would stop there. Like this, this is good for us. Yeah. We're just going to do this. And what I've seen is people that stop there end up judging everybody else.

Like you could be so much better, but I'm a hold all these secrets. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I think really I just saw how much

better it made our relationship and how much just yummy and juicier and just everything and I was like yummy I love that word yummy right yummy it's yummy I want everyone to have a yummy relationship you know I I want to be able to share what's worked for us. And, and I think one of the, another amazing thing about relationship is you get to create the relationship you want. You know, it doesn't have to be what we were taught, you know, get married, have kids, you know, build a house, whatever. It doesn't have to be that. It can be whatever you want and however you want. And as a partners, you get to create that together. You have these two individuals that have these two different paths that get to come together and create and learn with each other. And it's just, it's magical. And I, I, I want that for

everyone. You know, I want to be able to like, yo, you can create, if you want this kind of relationship, go for it, ask for it. Yeah. You know, yeah, do it. Why not? Maybe they want it too. And they're just scared of having it, you know? Yeah, yeah. What have you learned from teaching people? Because I find teaching, that's a hard skill. It's not easy to come by. How have you developed your teaching skill and what have you learned from it?

I feel like how I teach is just through examples of what Michael and I have gone through. Because we've, I mean, we've been through a lot. Um, you know, we've been through, um, a lot and we've gone through and, and we all, we've always been able to come out stronger and closer. And, and so I think with that, that's helped me be able to share some experiences with people and be able to teach them how, how we, me, um, have learned and how I've grown from this experience. And maybe it'll help you too. You know, maybe you can try it in this way, you know, and, and like the practices and the things that, you know, I share with people, it's just a tool, you know, you can, you can tweak it in whatever way works, you know, best for you and your partner. But, you know, they're just like

little tools to help create a little structure and foundation in the relationship. And so learning to like, let people know, like having a foundation and structure in your relationship is key. You know, you can't have a house without a foundation, right? You know, you need, you need that foundation in order to really create and to build. And so teaching that. yeah. That's cool. And how, what are the, like the groups of people that attract you towards you to the most, like men, women, do they come from a different, like how do they find you? It's, it's been interesting. It used to be just women, uh, for a long time. Um, you know, with, with the events that we would do for, uh, barbell business, um, doing the masterminds, um, a lot, a lot of the men would come and chat

with me about like where their wife is at and like you I totally get it I can connect and chat and and so but in the last year it's been been both I had a lot of men reach out and mostly an Instagram it's kind of where people reach out to me on Instagram so men and women and and just asking questions about like how Michael and I have created what we have and what we do. And so, yeah, starting to share that more because I see where, you know, it really is needed and it's wanted and it's desired. You know, people want to have yummy relationships, you know. In your practice and in now working with other people and, you know, the vulnerability that comes with that you

that you discover as a teacher what do you think the most common barrier to that yummy relationship is because it sounds like you know the the sharing and communication you know those those buzzwords are are critical but what is it about the communication what is not being said that creates that friction? I think people are hiding what they're really feeling or they're not like they're giving a little bit, but they're not really opening up to how they're really feeling. So I think practicing, um, like sharing from your personal experience. Yeah. I'm experiencing this right now, you know,

leaving out the blaming, you did this thing, but like when, when this happened, I experienced this. And so I think really being able to start opening, sharing from what you're experiencing in the moment, a place of ownership.

Yeah. Ownership responsibility of, of what, what's coming up for you. Yeah. Interesting. You know, cause it's, Mm-hmm. Yeah ownership responsibility of what what's coming up for you. Yeah interesting, you know, because it's it's So much of my relationship is coming through in this conversation You know the the openness that that my wife and I have that facilitates the yummy relationship Cuz I would totally describe you love that

I would describe our relationship as as yummy for sure um and i i validate that because people have oftentimes come up to my wife and i either together or separately you know and and express a desire to have what we have and you know, and, and express a desire to have what we have. And, you know, from, from the very beginning, I think we were at a, a point in our lives where we were mature enough to just cut through all the bullshit, you know, and just put it all out on the table. And our relationship was young enough that we could weather that storm. We didn't have enough chips on the table where it really fucking mattered. You know what I mean? So it was kind of like this is what i want this is what i'm looking for are you on board if the answer is no we can still be friends but let's just go ahead and get that out there right here right now and i feel like for us it was just a very special circumstance but that doesn't mean you can't get to that place a lot earlier.

Because I was past 30. My wife's five years older than I am before we settled into who we are, where we were comfortable having that conversation. And I think there's a level of awareness that it took us that long to get to where I think that if you become aware that that's work that needs to be done that and if you talk to successful couples as you and mike are you know they'll

tell you a lot of the same things once you have that awareness and you know that that's the kind of work that needs to be done you can get to that place a lot earlier absolutely i agree there's earlier. Absolutely. I agree. There's times where I'm like, man, that would have been so much better. I get why we're in what we went through, you know, and, and, you know, I'm grateful for it. And like, yeah, exactly. It would be, man, if we didn't have to go through all that, we could figure that out like 10 years ago, that would have been awesome. You know? Um, and, and I think, you know, when I think really asking, this is what I'm wanting. This is what I'm desiring is really important to have in a relationship. Um, because you can be in a relationship and then all of a sudden you're not, it's not

that you're not happy with the person. You can be not, you can not be happy with the relationship. You know, the example with Michael and I, we, um, last year, it was a year ago. Um, we were playing a lot of old roles. We were growing, you know, our relationship was great, but like, we were still kind of playing these like, roles that we didn't like about

how we were showing up with each other. And Michael came home one day and was like, I'm not happy with our relationship where it's at. I need some time. And I was like, you mean like time? He's like, I'm not happy with our relationship where it's at. I need some time. And I was like, you mean like time? He's like, I need, I need physical space away from you. And so we, we separated and we separated for about a month and physically, physically separated. Not legal. Yeah, not legal. We physically separated and that was a possibility, you know, for us to like fully, you know, set in our relationship.

And I moved out, actually moved over here to this house that we're in because Aiden and Valerie were out of town. So I stayed here for the weekend and then Michael went out of town. I went back home. And yeah, we just took that time apart and really searched in like, what, how are we showing up in this relationship and, and why are we showing up in this relationship this way? And, and is this, you know, is this serving, you know, is this serving what we're wanting and, and it wasn't.

And so we saw where we were able to make a shift in it and we were able to come together and be like, I love you and this is where I want to be. And we were both on the same page. And so that's when we, we were able to come back together and it just really blossomed our relationship in a lot of ways. How did it sit with you when he made such a huge ask of you? Oh, it was one of the hardest things I've ever, like it hurt, it hurt, it hurt a lot. You know, I was like, what? Like, you don't want to be with me? And he's like, it's not that I want to be with you. It's just, I need some time to think about like this relationship. And I was like, oh, okay. And I cried, you know, I had my moment where I was really upset. And then I saw, I was like, oh, this is something he's going through. It has

nothing to do with me. I like, I really got that. I really understood that. And I was like, this, this is an opportunity for me to stand up for him and for myself as well. And to be like, I can support you and what you're asking, because I, I, I do love you. And I love myself enough too, to where I don't want to be in a relationship that neither one of us are fully in happy. And so, um, yeah, it was, it was, it was really hard. And then I just saw where I was like, oh, this is something he's needed to go through. And this is the best way that I can support him right now is in that, because I think that's a question that most people aren't aware enough to ask of themselves. Because the easy question is, what are you doing or not doing for me?

The more evolved follow-on question that should be asked is, how am I showing up for you? What am I doing or not doing for you? And taking responsibility for your end of the equation. And it's not a matter of placing blame or finding fault. It's just looking at the reality of the role that you're playing and adding that piece to the picture to make it as complete as possible so that you can get to the point where you're like, this isn't me. This is something that, this is his journey and that this is how I'm going to show up for him in that moment. You know what I mean?

But because you were able to ask that second question, you were able to get there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I, and I'm sure you've seen it as well. Somebody comes in in that same situation. It's like, I need time. And then it, it doesn't end up here. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It ends up and that, you know, and that was, you know, we, we both looked at, um, cause I think for him, well, I don't think I know for him, he was, he was, you know, cause we were, we talked about it, but, uh, you know, he was in the, like, it's done, we're over, you know, it won't be able to work out. And, and I had this, like, knowing that it would. And so when, when I left the house, I I was like I have one ask for you I was like I asked that you consider our relationship to work and I'll consider it to not work ah wow holy shit and

so I left and I and I really did I looked at like okay what if what if Michael and Ashley are no longer what does that look like and and I looked at, like, what my life would be like. You know, I envisioned and imagined and, like, created this life for me. And then I was like, what would it be like for me, like, for Michael? Like, what would I see for him? And I was able to vision a life for him, and I was happy. I was happy for him. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll be okay.

I'll totally be okay. I'll be sad, but I'll be okay. I'll totally be okay. I'll be sad, but I'll be okay. You know? And, um, then we came in together and it just, it was, it was great. I, and what I saw during all that time as well as the role that I was showing up in was I was always needing permission and approval for anything I did. Hey, do you mind if I move this table? Is it okay if I do this? And, and I was putting him in the role of being dad. Yes, you can do that. Yes. No, I don't really, I don't think I like that, you know? And so it was, that was how I was showing up and that was how he was showing up for me. Cause I was putting him in that role. And so I realized that and I was like, oh, I don't, I don't need, you know, to move a table.

I don't need permission. I can do it. I can do this on my own. And so while he was out of town, I remember there was bookshelves that I wanted to organize in our house. And so I was like, I've been asking him if I could do this. I'm just going to do it. And it felt so good. And that was for a really big shift turning point for me where

I was like, Oh, I no longer need to be, have him in that role for me. Yeah. You know, um, I see where that has been a big play in our relationship and, and you know, no one, like he didn't want to be married to his daughter type thing. You know what I mean? It was like playing that role. He didn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that. And I was like, Oh, that's what he was meaning. You know, like it just really, it really showed me like,

that's what he's talking about is like how we show up for each other. Yeah. And so it was really good. I know Mike's big on like business coaching and stuff like that. Do you guys have people that play those roles for your relationship or do you model what, what's's your how do you create that awareness for yourselves and each other is it by modeling other successful couples or do you have coaches in the relationship realm for yourselves like how how's that dynamic that awareness stay fresh yeah we so we have we have mentors we have friends who um you know we have mentors. We have friends who, you know, we have a couple who are relationship coaches.

And a lot of what we apply is what we've learned from them. You know, we have another couple that's another relationship coach as well. And we've applied a lot of what they do. And then we've gone to, like, different workshops and retreats that focused on relationships. And so what we've really done is just pulled what we've really liked and what worked for us into it to make it work for our relationship individually. That's cool. I sort of want to touch on the nomadic point, like the traveling, because there's a quote that I always think about.

It's like traveling is the only thing you pay for, but you come back richer. What is traveling and traveling with your, your partner, your relationship, what has that taught you about yourself and for your relationship? Oh man, that, that time was one of the most magical times. Um, so we, we had split up and then we got back together, um, and really just rekindled, like, it was like, we're in this, this is, this is what we're creating. We, we created a vision with each other during that time as well, um, for our relationship. And then we did a training camp for the soul where it was a lot of deep inner work, childhood wounds, um, you know, things that really create a lot of limiting beliefs. And so, um, after that, that's when we decided to do go nomadic. And so it was very, it was like a lot of limiting beliefs. And so, um, after that, that's when we decided to do go nomadic.

And so it was very, it was like a lot of things that we had just like ripped layers out and pulled out. And so, um, I really feel like for us, it was like, let's go explore and just play and have fun. And like, let's just connect with each other in a deeper way and just make it to where it's just you and I for a little while and then you know part of our intention with traveling and being nomadic was wherever we go how fast can we create community and connection and so we were really intentional with wherever we went we're like oh let's go meet up with these people let's go hang out with them let's stay at their house or let's okay now we now it's time for us to have some time for ourselves and nurture our relationship. And, and, and the whole entire time, it really was just him

and I, and, um, and we, we got to focus a lot on, on our relationship and, and make it more yummy. And, you know, and just really have that time after such a big, like, breakthrough in our relationship. It was really nurturing for us. And so, you know, we got to travel the world and see all these, you know, new cultures. We were in Costa Rica. We were in Paris, France, you know. And we were around each other for 24-7 for, you know, five months. And it was amazing.

It was great there. And there was no, there was no arguing, there was no like fights. There would be some disagreements, but we were able to like nip them in the bud and like really get to the root of what was going. It was, it was, it was just our communication just got on point, you know? And do you find that the communication gets on point because there's such a language barrier going to these different countries where you may not have you know no spanish or french or things like that do you feel like that's why the bond got tighter with there you know i hadn't thought about that but i i think i think there's a lot in that and truth in that because you can't talk like there's people around that you're not really going to talk to when you're in another country you know so you are just between the two of you and so then it's trying to like communicate

what we're trying to say to this person and it's just like okay let's just figure this out on our own let's go for it you know and and yeah i think i think that did help a lot with like how we seeing how short and quick we were trying to communicate in another language because in the English language You know, there's there can be a lot of fluff. Yeah, right Oh sure and so you can create a lot of fluff and communication in a relationship or any relationships that you have and so it really I think it really showed us how just Make it clear and direct. Yeah, you know, there's no need for fluff sure unless you want to add fluff i'm gonna add some fluff and then you can let them know but you know like well i know like mark england is a mutual

friend of ours and uh you've had exposure to vocabulary and that that whole thing um do you implement that into your relationship you know the the soft talk thing and the elimination of it and you recognize when it's happening and you know you're very intentional with your language yes we do um as as much as possible there's you know times like this i probably well just then i may not be paying attention to it as much but i i do try to um you know when when I can think about it you know be conscious of it I we do try to eliminate it as much as possible and we we also we practice with each other of you know I'll say hey that that looks pretty cool or you know

hey that you know maybe kind you know like I'll see some of that language and he's like maybe kinder or do you want to do it? And I'm like, I want to do it, you know? So we, we, we play with, you know, we make a game out of it, you know? Um, one of the practices that we've had with that as well as, you know, uh, going from translating, don't forget to lock the door to remember to lock the door. And so, yeah, yeah. And so, and, and we help remind each other when, you know, he says something, I'll be like that or this, you know, you know, you know, and so it's, we, we do try to practice that as much as possible, you know, in, in, in moments. And then there's times where you just forget and you're like, it gets easier and less, the more

you do practice it with each other yeah because i think that from the outside looking in when you witness people that are so intentional with their word their their directness comes across as short you know and you know out here in the world you realize once you become conscious of speaking intentionally that how, what a nuance it actually is that like almost nobody does it. It's true. And, and it slows down. Yes.

It slows the conversation down. It, it puts you more in as, as Mark calls it down regulation, you know, you start breathing from all the way in rather than just like the upper chest breathing, you know? Um, and, and because you are down regulated, you're in, you have more opportunity to be in creation mode versus the survival mode, right? When you're up, up regulated, you're ready for a fight. You're like, you know, ready to go. And so when you can, and, and so it makes it easier, it can make it easier to be more reactive in those moments, um, in a relationship as well. And so when you're more down regulated and being aware of the language and breathing more fully in, it allows you to slow down and be like, Oh, okay, I can respond to that.

You know, my experience of that is this. You know? Yeah. Yeah, that's wild. Because Jared and I talked about that a lot off the mic after we talked to Mark. It's like going through his course, when you're having these conversations,

you almost end up like choking yourself because you keep on like auditing. And you're just like this two second statement turns into like a two minute statement. It's because it takes forever just to continue to structure things. It's just how it works So I remember this is a funny story a little a little off, but we're with mark It's a good language story so it was me mark and Mike and, and we were driving around. We might have, I think we might have been in Phoenix. Okay.

Like, yeah. And we're driving, and we were a little high. We smoked some weed. Yeah. And I took one puff too many. Okay. And I'm in the back seat, and I was like, I think I might be kind of, sort of, maybe a little high

and Mark's driving. He just goes, Ashley, soft talk. And I was like, I'm high. I'm like, yeah, I was, you know, and I was, you know, and it's just the moments where it's like, oh that's that's that's true That's more true. You know, it was a fun little like just Hey, oh, yeah, you know Yeah, right We're where you are now with everything that you've gone all the the deep work and you know relationship building How would you define your purpose right now and where you are currently and how would in the future how would you what would your future purpose be if it's different from it is now like how's that look for

you um so for michael and i we have a shared vision with each other and um our our vision together is to be paradigm shifters. And so really being able to be those disruptors. And so that's ours together, which also plays for me individually as well. And that's when we first created, we had a vision before this one, and it was more focused on us and our relationship. And so when we were looking at it when we last week when we were in Virginia I was like I really want to have one where it's more of a we kind of thing like more we in the community of the world and and it's and it still has a

direct effect with us as well individually and so that's where we create a paradigm shifters and, and how it also affects me as an individual is I feel, um, my, my, my mission is to end the taboo of divorce, the word divorce. Hmm. Explain that a little bit deeper. Yeah. I, so this, this hit me a few months ago. Um, I was like, I, was like I and I feel that's where my passion and relationships come is you know when when you hear the word divorce from someone you kind of like you know like almost like the word that comes to mind for me is is failure yeah failure divorce like icky you know it's just not a good feeling. Oh, I'm sorry. You know, that kind of stuff. And so I, I'd like just to like eliminate that word from the language, our language altogether and

really be able to say, you know what, we were in a relationship and it, it wasn't working. So we chose to separate, you know, we chose to uncoupleple we chose to create something else outside of our relationship together And and just really like that because yeah, I just it's icky, you know, and yeah, it's not yummy It's complete. Yeah opposite of yummy and and so yeah, I just I I want the word divorce to be removed from our language and And really create like when people I want the word divorce to be removed from our language and, and really create like when people, uh,

uncouple when they, when they leave a partnership that it's out of love as well. Like it's, it's out of love and that there's not this, you did this, you know, kind of blame. Um,

but it's, it's for the embeddement of them as individuals and because they're taking care of themselves and loving themselves by leaving that relationship, it blossoms into something beautiful and, and possibly they have a better friendship relationship than they had in a marriage. How do you, how are you driving that initiative forward? That's a monumental task. It is. I just,

by showing people they can really, helping people realize that they can create the relationship they want and it can look however they want it to be. So if they are together and then they decide not to be together, that's their relationship that they get to create. It's no one else's. It's theirs.

Yeah. And to really teach, help people learn that they can own their relationship. They own themselves. You know, they can take responsibility of themselves and they can really own their relationship and be a stand for what they want. Sure. Do you believe in the, you find the, this statement valid that happiness is a choice and that I can't make you happy unless you're already happy.

Do you find that statement to be true? Yes, I do. I do. I find, and I look at the end of the day, I'm stuck with me at the end of my life. I'm, I'm with me. I'm the one that's with me till the end. Um, so only I can really make myself happy. I can choose to be happy and the people in my life are in addition to my happiness. You know, I, because of the relationship

I have with Michael, he adds the happiness to my life. You know, my relationships that I have with my roommates, they add happiness to my life. They're, they're not my happiness. They add to it. Yeah. I really, I really believe that you get to create the happiness that you want and, and then you can add to it. That's dope. How often do you audit your circle the happiness that you want and and then you can add to it that's how often do you audit your circle of people around you you know because you hear about the average you're the average of the five people you surround yourself with how often do you do that or do you do it at all I guess you know it's really interesting I don't unconsciously I guess I do. Like I, like, um, we, we just, and I think, um, when we started

traveling and going nomadic, that's when we, for me, I really started learning to be intentional with the people I spent my time with. And so, um, so yes, now I feel, I feel I'm more intentional with, with the people I hang and spend my time with because it, it, I, I, because of the amount of work that I have done, I can feel more energetically. Um, sounds a little woo, but, but I really can. And so, um, I can and so it's important for me to keep my containers safe and so yeah and

then I think with what we're up to in the world all of us it becomes easy to spend time with awesome people you know and so you travel and you're doing great things you're going to meet other great people and so I think that plays a role into it too. The bigger you start playing your game and what you're creating in the world, that you're going to be hanging out with those kind of people as well.

And so it makes it easier to not spend time with the others that are, you know, the downers or are super negative. And, and it's also an opportunity when you do interact with those, you know, with, with people that are negative or hurting or in pain, maybe in victim mode to love them, have compassion on them, compassion with them. And then, and then just, you know, see if there's some guidance and some direction that you can help, you know, show them and teach them. And to really be strong and stand in your strength and like where you're at and not let it pull you down. But to like, hey, this is where I'm at. And how can I help you get over this situation? You know?

Yeah. you know yeah that you a lot of what you're you're mentioning there is allowing yourself the space to grow and aspire to play at the level of the people that you desire to be around and at the same time standing firmly in that light so that the people that aren't quite there yet can you empower them to make that same decision as opposed to coming down in hopes that they come back up which you know you have the strength to do but is the juice worth the squeeze is all that effort that you've put in to get to this point worth the trip back down the stairs to bring somebody back up with you. Right, right, right. Yeah, because it's a big energy.

And then, you know, it's draining in a lot of ways. And not that they're not worth it, but it gives them the opportunity's, it gives that, yeah, it gives them the opportunity to choose to step into their greatness, you know, um, gives it and, and that's the beautiful thing in life. Everything is a choice. Yes. You know, we get to choose how we show up every day. We get to choose how we interact with people. It's, it's a choice and that's a, it's a great choice to have, you know, like it's awesome to be able to choose what you want. That's why I love what you're doing because with their teaching and everything that you and Mike are doing people are actually making that conscious decision that they want to learn and get the knowledge from you because in the other situation when you have somebody you're always trying to pull up you're

expending so much energy trying to give them all this million dollars worth of information it just falls on deaf ears but when you finally get people that are attracted to the information that actually want to consume it the energy is not as taxing on you finally get people that are attracted to the information that actually want to consume it, the energy is not as taxing on you. And like you said, you can feel it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, you know, just through happenstance of manifestation and all of that, you know, you

start becoming surrounded by higher level thinkers. And that's always a fun space to be in. It's like through teaching, you can pull people up who want to be there. And then you're just in this space of people who want to learn. So I think it's just a beautiful thing. But you don't notice it growing up or going through and then you're just in this space of people who want to learn so I think it's just a beautiful thing but you don't notice it growing up or going through school because you're not taught to like yeah cut off cut off the dead weight because you're like oh that's my that's my

friend you know like yeah you know what I mean so it's just cool as we start getting more into this circle and these you know having these more of these deeper conversations and seeing how people are you know putting these tools in their lives like yourself it's just interesting to hear that everybody who lives in this space does the same exact thing you know and it's not it's not rude it's not saying we don't we don't dislike you but I love myself more to know where I want to be to fill my vision you know yeah and I find it too there's a lot of times where it's the the conversation kind of just ends, you know, it's like you say something and they're like,

yeah, keep it moving. I think a Friday, you know, it, it, you're the, it attracts that energy. And so when there is someone that's, that's in that like possibility, possibility of being able to choose to step into that new higher energy, they're going to be, they're going to be attracted. And, and, um, I, it's, yeah, it's a great thing. It's really funny because I get, I get jabs on the regular from people who are like, you know, in my circle on a regular basis. And they're like, how come, how come I haven't been on the podcast i'm like what i want to say is you're not there yet right like you're not prepared to have this conversation in an authentic way and more so in my perception it's a protection of their ego because if the breakthrough as i'm sure

you've experienced i know you've experienced like that shit oftentimes looks like a fucking meltdown. You know what I mean? Like, it is uncomfortable. Water works. It's not a fun time. What comes of it is amazing. I was like, I don't know if you want to do that on camera. Yeah.

We're going to go. We're going to go. Because that's where we're going to go. We're going to go. We're going to go. Because that's where we're going to go. We're going to go. Yeah. I love breakdowns. Yeah. Oh, I think after.

Yeah. I like them a lot. I love them a lot afterwards. Yeah. But I think for having a breakdown, there's always going to be the breakthrough. Right. Right. Absolutely.

And so, you know, at any point I feel like I'm having a breakdown, um, and even in our relationship and Michael and I's relationship, you know, um, we have an open relationship. And so there's times where there's a lot of breakdowns for me in that, you know, the, the like, Oh, I'm, I'm not good enough. Or, he's gonna like her better or he's gonna leave me you know those those stories that run through and so you know I find in when I'm playing that thing I can come in and be like oh and then it's just like I'm I'm I'm needing to nurture this little girl that's hurt right now she's just sad and and she's what she's not wanting to be left out and okay.

Like what can I do to nurture and tend, you know, care for you and tend for you and, and just have that, that breakdown where I can allow myself to cry and just to be like, okay with being sad. And then the breakthrough is amazing. Cause then I'm like, Oh man, I'm fucking awesome. And so I think, yeah. And then, you know, breakdowns in business and, um, friendships, you know, and, and all kinds, I think, you know, breakdowns are great to have because they, they, they allow you to expand and to be stretched and be able to see what really you're capable of and how much you can hold, you know, and how much you can, you can really be. Sure. Yeah. I love, I love hearing the woman's, the female perspective on that, you know, because it's, it's a strengthening thing from what I'm

hearing the, when you, when you, when you tell it, because as men, we talk about this a lot, like Ders, he's like, he's like, I have those sobbing moments where he's like you have those sob cries oh yeah you know what i mean but it's it revitalizes you it's not it's something that you look down upon and say oh you're such a bitch because you're crying like that like no he's healing his body he's letting that emotion out but as men we don't let that emotion out it's just we contain you say keep our container tight and just bury it underground and let that stuff get discovered well you're you know we're taught you know big boys don't cry yeah whatever you know it's like you're you're taught to like hold that in and and and that's not the case that right little boy needs to cry because you got the ball taken away from them or something you know like there's

strength in it yeah there's a lot of strength. I think that there's, there's power in language. I mean, even my son's two and a half, you know, and there's, there's, there's power given to him in those moments where you allow him to feel what he needs to feel, but at the same time giving him the awareness of perspective, like, was it that big a deal? And like people, people make fun of me all the time. I'm like, he's two and a half. I'm like, but he's not stupid. Right. Right.

Like this, this is not a, a higher, this isn't high level thinking, you know. He's a sponge. Yeah. He's soaking everything up. You know, he's, he's, yeah, he's in, he's feeling the emotions that he's feeling. He's expressing. And then like you said, yeah, I get to be like, is it? No.

Okay, cool. Right. Awesome. You know. emotions that he's feeling he's expressing and then like you said yeah i get to be like is it no okay cool right awesome you know and going back to the whole the language thing i find my ability to respond is so much slower because like you were saying i'm like how do i say this is direct as how do i remove as much soft talk from this shit as possible so somebody will ask me a question and i'm just like yeah it's this awkward silence and i know it's happening but i'm like i, fuck. I know this is like uncomfortable for the both of us. I'm trying to, yeah. Yeah. I want to be as direct as possible so that nothing gets lost in translation. You know, all of those things.

But, you know, before we let you go today, I want to ask you two questions and you can answer them on any level. Mental, physical, spiritual, whatever speaks to you. The first of which is what do you do each and every day to feed yourself and kickstart that awakening that you have that you're trying to bring to the world? And the second is what do you do each and every day to fuel yourself to keep that momentum strong and carry it over for the long term? I, so for me in the mornings and I, funny enough, you asked this about a year ago, I did a spell casting with Mark England and part of it was my morning routine. And yeah, and I cast the spell and it's, it's been, it's true now. And so, um, my, my morning routine is, you know, as far as how I just get myself centered and grounded so that I can show up as, as full as possible of like really of who I am and being a loving, nurturing, you know, Ashley, um, is I,

I journal, I wake up and I'll, I'll come down and drink some water and make a little orange or a little green juice thing. Um, and then I'll go upstairs and I'll just journal and, uh, just kind of write how, what I, you know, my experience of yesterday, you know, dreams, anything that's showing up for me in the moment, fears, you know, and I really try to, if there's any possible negativity that can be in that, I, I, I practice rewriting that story and really creating something more affirmation and true. Um, and so I'll do that and then I just get up and I'll do some mobility. Um, for me, I've, I've really in the past six months nurturing and tending to my, my body and my health so that I can be as strong and healthy as possible so I can be here

for as long as possible to be on my mission, you know? And so, yeah, I'll do some mobility and I get a little movement in and then take a shower and get ready for the day. And then what was the second question? How do you fuel yourself and make that energy sustainable? Consistency with that. That's been really in that. And also learning to ask my little girl what she's needing today. What are you needing today? How can I tend to you? How can I nurture and love on you today?

Because that's who's speaking up when we act or whatever. It's our five-year-old self that didn't get hurt you know or whatever but learn something that and so you know i just i ask her a lot like hey how can i love on you today what are you needing today um and sometimes a lot of times it's a bubble bath and I just will take a bubble bath I'll do some Palo Santo put on some like fun mantra music and just like feed my soul and just like man I'm awesome I'm taking care of myself you know and I'll I'll do the whole like put lotion on my body you know and be like you are an amazing piece of skin you know I appreciate you protecting my skeleton you

know you know my bones and my muscle and you know thank you for taking on this harsh weather and you know i'm yeah yeah i realized i was rough with you when i was young you know just like nurturing on it and and yeah so that's beautiful that's awesome where can everybody in this community go follow you and support you and everything you have going, whether it's, you know, personal, professional seminars, anything that you have. Yeah. So I have a website, Ashley blood.

So.com. And then my Instagram is Mrs. Dot blood. So Pia it's M R S period B L E D S O P I A. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah. Such a dope conversation. Thank you for having me on here. It was so much fun. Thank you for being so open. You're incredible. I'm happy that we got to do this on the mic, you know, and share your message the way you want to share it

and use Feed Me Feebly as a medium. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Perfect name for it too. For everybody out there in Feed Me, Feel Me land, get out there and support all of Ashley's initiatives. She's making massive headway in the relationship space. And if there's somebody that any of you could learn from,

she's definitely the one. So much appreciated, girl. Thank you. Thank you you very much and we'll do this again for sure for sure i love it yeah awesome until next time guys feed me fuel me and that'll do it for this episode with our special guest ashley bletzo if you want to check out everything that ashley has going please go to the full show notes on shrugcollective.com. Also, be sure to connect with us on social media, including Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at Feed Me Fuel Me. We would love to hear from each and every one of you. If you found this episode inspiring in any way, please leave a rating and a comment in iTunes so we can continue

on this journey together. Also, be sure to share it with your friends and family on social media, including Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, or any other social platforms that you use. We really appreciate you spending your time with us today and allowing us to join you on your journey. We would love to hear your feedback on this episode, as well as guests and topics for future episodes. To end this episode, we would like to leave you with a quote from Edith Worden. There are two ways of spreading light, to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Thank you again for joining us and we will catch you on the next episode. Thank you.