Barbell Shrugged - Hermonia w/ Jill Petersen  — Feed Me Fuel Me #109

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

Continuing our series of badass females on Feed Me Fuel Me, is Jill Petersen, founder of Hermonia. Jill has been on journey of personal growth and development for some time now.   As she would grow to find, the path to happiness and fulfillment begins within. Through an extensive process she was required to ask herself the deepest questions and find the gaps in her development. Jill was required to confront the reality that her failed relationships were the results of a void left behind by personal struggles with family. The kicker is, the stories Jill created, didn't even belong to her. She was subconsciously holding on to others' pain, validating a story that didn't really exist.   After a significant battle with postpartum depression, Jill realized that she needed to work on herself. Not only for herself, but also for her relationship with her husband, family and friends. Then came her epiphany: she wasn't the only one. That said, not many women are empowered with skills and tools to facilitate that kind of deep work on their own.   Insert Hermonia! Jill has created a service in which she coaches women to a place of strength where they were once weak. She has created a platform for women to find their voice again! Join us this week and learn about Jill's journey and the abundance she now lives in as a result of her mission to deliver strength where it was once absent for so many!!   Enjoy! - Jeff and Mycal ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/fmfm_petersen ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please Support Our Sponsor @vuori- www.vuoriclothing.com - Use coupon code FEEDME25 ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/barbellshruggedpodcast TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

This is episode number 109 of the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast with our special guest, owner of Harmonia, Jill Peterson. Welcome to the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast. My name is Jeff Thornton, alongside my co-host, Michael Anders. Each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message related to our three pillars of success, manifestation, business, fitness,

and nutrition. Our intent is to enrich, educate, and empower our audience to take action, control, and accountability for their decisions. Thank you for allowing us to join you on your journey. Now let's get started. What's up, fam? Welcome to another episode of the Feed Me, Fuel Me podcast. Jeff and Ders are coming at you from Scottsdale, Arizona. We have the honor of sitting down with Jill Peterson, the founder of Harmonia. Hey.

What's up? Hi. I'm so happy that we've reconnected. It's been too long. It's been too long. And when we connected last week, we picked right back up. So that always feels really good. Super good.

Real quick, because you've got a lot of things going on. Give us the cliff notes of your journey for everybody who doesn't know who you are or what the mission, which is what we'll dive into, of Harmonia is. You got it. Well, first of all, I'm so excited to be here. Yeah, thanks for being here. Yeah, I want to sing a song after this, so this microphone is... We can do that. Okay.

But a little bit about me. I spent eight years, I really grew up in one company. I feel like that's where all of this knowledge that I'm now going to give away really came from. So I grew up in Lululemon. And I was there for eight years. I was a store manager predominantly my entire journey. But I kind of, I was a little bit of everything. I started as an educator, so a sales associate.

Stepped into the first level of leadership, which is a key leader, then an assistant manager, store manager, regional manager, and then really ended my journey and my time as a store manager. So that's kind of what formed all of this. I loved and I fell in love with the company because the company's all about their people and why I left my former job to come to Lululemon was because I didn't feel seen. I didn't feel heard. And I, uh, first of all, I was selling wine so that was awesome and I was up against men so my entire

community that I was working with was predominantly male driven so any promotion that I would go up against I would lose to a man and that fueled me to keep grinding, keep proving myself.

And I knew I was worth something. I had great work ethic. And then my flames started to dim. And I realized that I needed a company who gave back to their people so that they could continue to show up and be the best version of themselves. So that's where I found Lululemon.

And funny enough, it was, yoga was my outlet. Okay. And so I would sell wine all day and then I'd go to the yoga studio. And I remember noticing a girl's pants. I noticed her pants in front of me. And I was like, what's that? What's that cute little symbol? And like,

those pants are so cute on her. And I mean, you're in yoga. You're supposed to like, not like listen to your thoughts. But my thoughts were like, ask her after class. What?

Where'd you get those pants? Yeah. That's the shit only a girl can get around. So silly. I feel awkward as fuck. I know. Hey, I know you don't know me, but me but um where'd you get those pants

i'm using that next time i got it oh my gosh and by the way they're lululemon and my name is and i was like lulu what um so i went back and i was like okay is there a store? So I was like honestly researching if there was a place where I could come and buy the pants. But what I got lost in my search was researching the company. And I was like, oh my gosh, like this is like Disneyland for adults. And it was just the universe bringing me what I needed at that moment. And it made me realize, like, okay, my happiness is so much greater than me waking up feeling miserable. So, like, what are you going to do about it?

Sure. So that was the jump. That was the jump from going from a really crappy job to a job that I loved and failed at and was really successful at and led me to this position to say okay like I am I'm gifted and I am totally uniquely different than anybody else and that's why I'm here and I got to see a glimmer of that of that of that gift as a store manager. And it was developing people and teaching them all different kinds of concepts about choice, about communication, about making requests, about setting boundaries. And I saw the progression in them. And it was from my coaching.

It was from all the work that I was doing personally to help me get my team where they wanted to go. And I was like, man, how do I scale this? Like how do I actually now look outside of just these four walls? Because more people need this work. And I don't know if it exists. So that's how really the concept of harmonia was born. What is your, what was the sign that like pushed you off the cliff? Good question. Um, well, you'll get a couple of those over the next hour, just so you know. Get ready. Buckle up. Just prepping you right now. Okay. Well, the first sign was when I was pregnant.

So I have two little boys. And my first son, I experienced postpartum depression. And through this spiral, like really, I mean, I've always prided myself to be an optimistic person to be positive to be happy because I choose that and I know I know how to

I know how to get myself back to that place if I'm not there but through motherhood the very first experience of motherhood was the first time I felt depression

and I was like how do I how do I get out of this like I am at rock bottom and I I've never been here before and I did not know what to do I didn't want to talk to my husband I didn't want to tell my family because people came to me for those reasons. And I was like, okay, how do I coach myself without feeling guilty, without judging myself, et cetera, et cetera. Like the rabbit hole of lies was just like in my head,

in my conscious. And I finally realized that I am armed with this incredible tool belt that Lululemon gave me. And I've spent the last eight years working on acquiring all of these tools. So what do I need to do? What do I need to do? And if someone sat down who was me, in front of me, what would I say to them? If they were like, I'm struggling, blah, blah, blah. I, I'm, I'm

literally at rock bottom. I would, I would say, you need to ask for help. And that was like the first moment that I was like, okay, yeah, I need to, I need to ask for help in experiencing this depression and, and getting myself back to a place that I know that I wanted to be. So that's what I did. It was like, okay, I'm going to talk to my husband. I'm going to talk to my family and actually be honest to say like, I'm not okay. I'm actually experiencing some really scary thoughts and I need help. And, um, and I can't do this alone. And then from there it was like it, like the floodgates open. It was like, okay, well what else do I know? Like, I know that working out makes me feel better. And it was like it like the floodgates open it was like okay well what else do i know like i know that working out makes me feel better and it was self-care self-love yoga meditation all of these

things that i that i have acquired with my tool belt i pulled out and i was like okay so 12 weeks later i got out of it and that was the moment that seed right there after those 12 weeks was me reflecting on this experience to say women don't have my tool belt they don't have the same tools that i have and what do they do about that yeah they get up every single day and they they just function exist they just exist as a shell because I was existing as a shell until I finally started working on myself. And that made me so sad. That made me so sad. And that was the first time that I was like, I've got to be something for these women. And you know, I, that was like, that was five years ago. So like the seed has been growing inside of me for a while. And it wasn't until last year that I finally was like, okay, I am seriously being tapped to, to make action. Okay. So what is Harmonia? Harmonia is inspired by harmony powered by her.

So the, I see what you did there. Yeah. Right. It's a totally made up word, but it's not just for moms. It's for all women. Sure.

It's, um, through my struggle, um, and, and being vulnerable in my experience, I experienced other women having the same struggle. Sure.

And I was like holding hands with these women and saying like, you don't have to do this alone. Like how do we flip the script to say that being quiet and our thoughts have to be internalized, like that doesn't have to be the normal, like we can change it on its head by, by creating space, by actually talking about where you're at without judgment, because we're all in it together. We all experience the same thing. And, and that's powerful. Sure. That's powerful. And that's why Harmonia exists because I want women to come and see something for themselves to realize they're not alone and for them to learn

tools to then go and apply in their life so that they can be not just a shell anymore, but they can live into who they were made to be. How does somebody, when they first like stumble across Harmonia, like what's the introduction to Harmonia? Are they coming to your house or shop or website? What's the introduction to finding it? It's through the website and finding me on social media so it's just harmonia.com and then on my social channels on instagram and facebook it's harmonia phx hey hey i see you guys i see you guys i see you guys right um and that's where they can find really the store like the website it's more story based it's my heart everything that's in my heart

on my heart is on that website yeah um and then really where people are going to get more information on um workshops and classes and that sort of thing is through social yeah okay so it's a workshop based where you're you're building this collection of women together where they reach out to you and say hey i'm experiencing'm experiencing, you know, this emotion. And you do like, how does it work? Like one-on-one coaching? So if women are more one-on-one based, I offer that as well. And you can find all the services and everything I offer on my website. So one-on-one coaching is available. And if women want to, um, actually find that community, um, because it, it takes like, it, it takes peeling away layers in order for her to feel comfortable. So again, meeting her where she's at, if she feels comfortable just one-on-one, then that's where I'm going to meet her. And then eventually how does she come and experience what a group setting is like to get something a little bit deeper because we all learn from each other and a workshop setting is so powerful. So one-on-one workshops, and then really I'm mobile. So if corporations want me to come and speak, not only just to women, but for men as well.

So it's a lot of personal development work. So teams, I love to talk to teenagers. Special events, speaking, you name it, I kind of do it all. That's dope. Thank you. Growing up, have you always been a person that loved teaching and helping others? I know Lululemon equipped you with this skill set skill set, or you've learned the skill set in this, this tool belt, but, you know, the compassion and caring that comes across from what I can tell our conversation,

that's something that it seems like it just comes, comes innate to you. Is that a true statement? Yes. Um, and I've, I've had, I've kind of had a battle with this too, because I feel like, um, coming to this conclusion and creating this business, um, came from a personal struggle, but my background is actually really healthy. And I was comparing myself to people who didn't have a healthy background, who might've been, um, who might've experienced trauma or didn't have a really healthy home life, et cetera, et cetera. And I was comparing myself like, Oh, but their story's way better than mine. And, um, you know, again, we're all here for a reason.

We all have these really great, unique gifts. And, um, I, from a very, very young age, um, men, women in my life, my mom, my dad, my grandparents, everyone told me how beautiful I was. Everyone told me and not just told me, but like would make me say that to myself. So all I knew growing up was how beautiful I was. And I, and like in not in a cocky you know kind of way but I never in high school in college like I never found myself comparing I was never body shamed um like I loved like wholly who I was as a person and that love and compassion and people telling me these things, these affirmations, and then I would affirm them to myself, built my muscle. Like I have worked on this muscle for so long that I was like, man, I get to, I get to now carry this into this work.

And that's why I am so good at my job. That's why I love people. I am, I will stand for people when they're sitting on themselves. It's like, that is just, that is my, in my DNA is cheering for people, standing for people, coaching for people. And not just in a loving way. I might have to like give some like harsh love as well, but it always comes from a place of love. And it's because of how I was raised. That's what I think. I think it's a really true statement. Do you find yourself, um, when you're dealing with, with your clients and people that, you know, you're, you're getting all of their feedback, whether it's negative or positive, do you sort of take on their emotion where it weighs you down a little bit? And if you do like,

you know, take on their emotion, how do you down a little bit? And if you do like, you know, take on their emotion, how do you clear yourself of that energy, you know, from working from different clients? That's a really great question. And something I actually teach as well is, um, is setting boundaries. So yes, because I am a feeler and I am very empathetic and compassion in this work. Um, I do take on, I do take on what they're telling me in the moment, but I also am very, I've again worked on this muscle to distinguish I am, you are, and I teach this as in like, I am Jill. I am, I'm loving. I'm, um, I'm funny. I like, I get to like remind myself of who I am and then I'm able to separate like they are who that's them. So I don't need to take on, if I'm not saying like, I'm, you know, whatever this person in front of me just told me, like,

that's not who I am. So I have to be able to say like, okay, I am this, they are that. And that helps me separate energetically, like taking on that emotional toll because it, it, that's all I do all day is like,

listen to people like want to help them. Um, so that's a really good practice that I have. And then honestly, coming back to my breath, it's like, how do I just clear myself? Like, okay. Like that was heavy. And it's honestly like putting my left hand on my heart and my right hand on my belly and just taking a really deep breath and letting it all go. And like, okay, I'm back, like wiggling my fingers and my toes. Like, okay. Am I back in my body? That helps me get back to like, okay, I'm back, like wiggling my fingers and my toes, like, okay, am I back in my body?

That helps me get back to like, okay, I'm here. All is good. So it's like those boundaries help me not take on too much. Um, and sometimes I'm really okay. If like, if I can't clear my energy with them, I'm okay saying that like, whoa, I like, I'm not feeling okay. Or, you know, especially with my husband might not be with a client, but my husband, it's like, Hey, I need you to know that like how you're showing up is actually impacting me. And here's why. So it's like, I can communicate that. And that's really powerful too, that I want to teach women. I want to teach men that I want to teach women I want to teach men I want to teach teenagers that like your body is amazing and like if you're feeling something that isn't right you

gotta say something yeah you gotta first look within to say like hmm why is this coming up for me and then it's like you just gotta keep practicing saying it. That's wild. Because like we were talking off the mic earlier, like as men, for instance, we suppress a lot of emotion. So like we feel and it's just like, okay, let's shut that shit down. Like it's time to go strap on the pads. No, that is telling you something.

That's wild. It's telling you something. And, and if you get really good and I love body work, like if you can, like, if you're tense in your shoulders, it's like, okay, well think about it. Like, what are you holding? Like, what are you holding onto or what's weighing you down? Like our body is amazing. And if we can just tap into that and listen, like something, something's telling you something and you just have to quiet your thoughts. You have to quit, you know, the belief of I uh you know people that are passionate about what they do it genuinely comes from a place of discovery you know so like what is it about you in this coaching life now that that really intrigues you what are you

on a mission to discover either personally or, or using the vehicle of other people? Yeah. It's because I have had the most amazing breakthroughs in my life. I have witnessed miracles in my life through this work. And that's why I'm like people need more access to it and yes you can read a book yes you can go to conferences that's all amazing all of those vehicles are teachers in some way and I just want to be able to be another teacher in a different way for women that might make more sense to them. I might not be for everyone and that's okay. But if I can tell them from personal experience, like this,

all this work that I'm doing, I've done for eight years and I've seen insane results. And I swear to you, I wake up every day and I'm living my best life. And trust me, there are days that I'm like, or I'm frustrated or I'm angry, but it's like, I know how to get back. I know how to get back. And that's where I don't, I don't regret anything. I don't look back and be like, damn, I just wasted a whole year doing this or being in this place or hoping wishing blah blah blah it's like no i live every day like like this is the most important day of

my life sure and that's what matters to me to teach other women yeah to say like that's how you can live too sure it's really interesting really interesting that we're having this conversation and that you've launched Harmonia and we've reconnected. I just had a conversation on another podcast last week and I was asked about being a dad and the difference between how I interpret fatherhood, raising my son versus my daughter and the the only correlation that i could really come to in that moment is in having a son i know how that script goes you know i've i've walked that path i've made the mistakes like i i know what it is to become a man, right? In raising a daughter, it's like blank slate, no fucking clue, right? And what else came out of that conversation was I'm terrified for my daughter

in the sense that I watch all these 20-somethings in my gym and just in society in general via social media and stuff like that, I feel like women spend their entire 20s, like, the veil's been ripped away, and they're now confronted with the reality that the fantasy that they were sold as children and adolescents isn't real and then now they don't discover who they really are right until they're after 30 you know like this is the exact dynamic that brought my wife and i together you know we didn't commit to each other until well past 30 right you know what i'm saying totally and as i look at who she is now and how she stands as a mother and a career woman and all those things like we have to conversation

all the time like if I knew what I know now I could have been here 10 years ago for sure you know what I'm saying right so like I guess my question around that whole monologue is why is that? How does that occur for women? Right. Well, because we aren't taught that we're not taught that in school. So like, again,

the reason why this business exists and why I'm so passionate about it is because we like these lessons are not taught in school, but then we are asked to, to step into life and be successful at it without the tools to be successful. Right. So that's where like 10 years go by and it's failures, it's successes, it's like you experience demons, you experience joy, et cetera. And you're kind of figuring it out the hard knock way. Right. And that doesn't always have to be the way. Sure.

But where are there platforms to teach your daughter how to love her body, how to take care of her vessel. Right. That is hers and hers only where, you know, like, yeah, we have health and PE in school, you know, but it's like, what do they talk about there? Um, and who, who does your daughter look up to? Like what role model is out there for her to say like, I want to be like her versus I want to be, and nothing against the Kardashians. But realistically, like we don't, we only see the glamorous part of their life. If we could actually see their real life and what they deal with and maybe on the show it shows a little bit, but that's not what our girls see. They see makeup and hair and, you know, big boobs and butts and everything else and hope that that was them. But it's like if those women on that show could be teaching her who's watching it. Like they don't need any of that. Like that's,

that's who we need more of. And that's why I am so passionate about this work for women, but also for teen girls is telling them like, listen, you've got like, how do we teach them to listen to their body? How do we teach them to take care of themselves? How do we teach them to take care of themselves? How do we teach them to communicate

powerfully? Um, I mean, the list can go on and on and on and on. Um, cause I don't think the, the self love thing comes into effect. It comes into effect too late, not too late, but later than it should. You know, um, you know, the, we were talking off the mic about, you know, the Jeff touched on it. Guys are taught, you know, very objectively black or white, you win or you lose, you don't cry, you internalize that shit and you keep moving forward. And I feel like women, especially in childhood and early adolescence it's so subjective it's it's my validation is subject to your opinion and your opinion and you know the the girl who gets to lead in the play versus the guy who gets the starting job on the team you know he ran faster he made more tackles

he did more things in practice boom but you know because you pirouette a little bit better than I do or you're a little bit taller than I am, the stats on performance are skewed dramatically from what men are taught to focus on versus what women are taught to focus on. Do you think that's a true statement? I believe that. In my opinion, I believe that. And it, it like, if it, if we can teach our daughters and young women and moms and whomever that like, it doesn't matter. Like no one else's opinion should matter to you. Right. Like that is such an important lesson. And we can say until we're blue in the face, but until they like really believe that for themselves and saying it is one thing, but they have to like actually experience. So like,

how do they experience that? And it's creating workshops. It's talking about it. It's consistency. It's forming a habit around that so that she can really believe that, listen, the only person I can change is myself. If I'm looking at everybody else and hoping and wishing, then let that inspire you, but you're the only person to change, to get to where you want to go. So as opposed to, you know, competition, it's like collaboration. Yeah. How do we teach her to see that if she's in,

if she's, you know, in comparison, it's like, okay, well, how does, how do you then go up to that, that girl and ask her like, dang, you are an amazing dancer. Like, what do you then go up to that girl and ask her, like, dang, you are an amazing dancer. Like, what do you do? Versus, you know, whatever. Wishing from afar. Wishing from afar. You know, ripping her down or ripping herself down. Saying, like, I'm not good enough, da-da-da-da-da.

It's like, no, how do we flip that for them? We teach them. And it's about collaboration. Go up and ask her why she's so good do you think that the root of the the problem where men are taught to kind of worst case scenario go it alone and figure it out um women are kind of steered away from the abundance mentality like there's a very scarcity mindset in the dynamic that you were just talking about the wishing from afar thing the the lack of collaboration you know uh it seems like it underneath all of that is it's all based in scarcity as opposed to

abundance and it's different than the independent thing that we're talking about with guys. You know what I mean? Like we're not even considering the option of somebody else's existence. I'm just going to figure this shit out. Right. That's kind of the, the message that,

uh, is driven home for us versus girls are like, look at her, look at the, you know, but they're not taught, you know, maybe if you just go up and ask her or you seek the proper guidance, right, you'll, you'll get what you need. Totally. You know what I mean? And everything, like if you were to, you know, again, look really, really deep at the root of everything, it's's I'm not good enough. Right. She will always say, I am not good enough. And it's teaching her, okay, well, what are the tactics? What are the strategies to support her and actually seeing her for the first time as enough? Right. And that's the work that we've got to be in. And it's not just my job. Like that's a really big responsibility for me. And I'm going to, I'm going to deliver on that.

Sure. But it's also looking at every other parent out there to like, let them know that they also have a responsibility to teach both their son or their daughter that they are enough. And it's one thing to say it, but they have, they as parents have to role model it. Sure. They have to role model it, role model it, role model it. There we go. Got it. Um,

because if I'm gonna, you know, if I'm knocking myself down, whether it being with my friends or in front of my kids or in a conversation with my husband that is way more powerful than me saying oh honey you're enough i'm so proud of you you're amazing right but it's like if if i'm not being mindful sure of what i'm putting out there in front of my kids like they they are sponges. Oh, absolutely. So it's a good gut check to say like, wow,

how am I actually role modeling this lesson? Yeah. Um, and because if, if you don't feel enough, it's, it's not going to be authentic for them to learn off of you. Yeah.

Yeah. You have to live that into existence. And again, if, if people are like, well, shoot, I don't feel enough. Then listen, sister, you've got to do the work. Yeah. Welcome to like you needing to wake up and say like this life needs you. Sure.

Yep. That's why I feel like we're in an interesting spot in the society we live in today because you look at the sports we have available like CrossFit, yoga, you know, non-traditional sports I'll call them. Where women are more empowered, like a woman can be strong in CrossFit and do better than guys. And they acknowledge that, man, she's a strong, powerful woman and she's still beautiful. You know, and back in the day you go back and it's like if you didn't look like the cheerleader, the pageant queen, and, like, you're not beautiful, you're just, like, the husky softball chick, so to speak, like, not talking about hot softball chicks or anything like that, but now it seems like women are more empowered to be strong, beautiful, intelligent, all those things with the world we live in today, and it's been nice to see, because, you know, just coming from the back ones we did bodybuilding all that stuff for men it's it's not

as difficult like you get on stage you used to be in judge you used to be in yelled at yeah but i had earlier this year i was able to judge a pageant back back at home oh that's cool it was cool i think the the oddest thing for me was that like you look at the the miss america you know their standards for judging women and i almost felt like odd doing it because they're like you look at the the miss america you know there's standards for judging women and i almost felt like odd doing it because they're like you have to pick the most beautiful girl if she doesn't match the miss america standard of beauty it's like she gets ranked down it's like and it was all these like categories of like what defines a beautiful woman like what was on that sheet you know you it's talking about like the look so if they if they

don't have this like if they're like overweight a little bit or if they don't have the the bikini look they don't look good in a gown they don't have to walk and you see these young women go up there they're teenagers and young it's just like right for them they're going in their mind if they don't win the contest they're like i didn't win because i'm ugly right right and like i was saying there's a judge yeah and i was feeling bad i was like shit like it's not you didn't win because not you're not you're ugly it's just like the standards didn't but i don't want them to go home we're gonna perpetuate the cycle you know and that's right i was like what did you say come on tell me that you just didn't leave. Yeah. They're stuck to these strict standards.

And it's like, how do you, how do you sort of like keep the women, you know, soften that blow, you know, soften the blow because like you as a judge, like,

oh yeah, it's just a contest. Contextualize it properly. Yeah. Cause yeah, I think that's a better way. To us it's a contest, you know,

but to them they go home and like you said, there's self deprecation talk. It's like, I'm not good enough. I'm not this, I'm not this. It's just like, that's sort of tragic to see to me, you know? And I feel like that old, like the older way of doing things, you know, is counterintuitive to how we should start raising women. How do we flip the script on pageants to say,

like, what could we do to empower our, our younger generation so that they, yeah, you know, it's like, you know, wear your street clothes where, you know, like, it's like, that would be a really cool project. I'm going to bank that in my, like, maybe in the future I might create like something like that. Well, here's here's the thing about those two dynamics right when you look at pageants bodybuilding fitness figure all that stuff right very very subjective right uh maybe the judge likes brown-eyed girls right blondes brunettes whatever maybe their idea of this particular category is a harder look.

Maybe it's a softer look, whatever. The thing about what I love about what CrossFit has done for women in society, it has given them room to exist in their being, right. When you look at just outright performance metrics, how fast you are, your work capacity, how strong you are, those things are very objective. They are absent of body type. They are absent of beauty, which is a very subjective word. You either can or you can't, you're either getting better or you're getting worse. There's nothing, there's not a whole lot of in between. And, you know, in, in that substantiation, the people that are, you know, come in and out of CrossFit PHX on a consistent basis, you are that improvement, that self-confidence that self-worth above and beyond

the um the aesthetic part is embraced and acknowledged like wow you six months ago you weren't doing that shit that's awesome high five keep that shit moving right you, as opposed to, well, you know, you could look a little bit better. You could tighten this up. Right. Nobody really gives a shit. Right. They get to choose if they want to show up for the workout or cherry pick the workout. They get to choose if they're seeing success in their workouts that they might want to dial in their nutrition. You know what I mean? It's like it really allows people to just be in choice. And there is no person telling you, yes, no, good, bad, right good bad right wrong you know it's like it's really like the it is self-discovery of like wow I'm the only person that can change myself and I'm competing against myself right and I think that's a really powerful lesson as well is

how do you how do you become better one percent every single day yeah how do you compete against yourself and i just led a workshop last week and i brought in steve pre fontaine and he is this amazing runner from the 70s and we know pre you know pre okay good yeah i didn't know a lot about him you guys are you serious that's the man he's the man jared leto was his yes in the movie so good um so i was telling these young girls i was i was working with a group of teens and i was telling them that and i showed this video on youtube and he always won because he wanted to be the first person to win the race. Like, and not just like win the race, but like be the leader of the pack. And his coach was like, listen, if you ran like for the first couple of miles, like kind of the back of the pack. And then like the last two

minutes you sprint, like that's how you should like, that's a better, a better way of winning. And he was like, listen, coach Bowman. Yes. And he was like, um, pre I was like, that's not how I want to win. Like if I'm going to go out and compete, I want to win the right way. And like, to me, that's the right way of winning is winning the whole race the entire time. And he never looked at another person to say, I'm competing against this person. He looked at his times and he competed against himself. That's why he was so, I mean, he's still a legend to this day. I'm like, that is so powerful.

How he started and how he finished was the exact same way. He never cut a corner. That is solid. and how he finished was the exact same way. He never cut a corner. Yeah. That is solid. You mentioned you worked in a male-dominant industry coming from the beverage industry or wine and spirits. Yeah. You know, and you see a lot in corporate America where women are moving up the ladders,

taking over CEO positions. But you notice a lot of women, to get those higher positions, they delay their family life. Like, they don't have kids. They don't, you know, marriage and things like like that how do you tell a woman who comes across you and harmonia like you don't have to delay that because if they do have a kid i've seen it especially in the beverage industry they kick the woman back she's not allowed to get into sales or she gets laid off because she has to do you know have how do you how do you explain that to? It's like to where they can know that they own themselves, they own their power and they

can still progress and get to where they want and deserve in companies without having the fear of, you know, being kicked back down the ladder. Well, what I would say is honestly, you take it season by season, you take it season by season. And that doesn't mean that her goals don't matter. She might have goals in five years to run a company, but right now, if she's pregnant, the season of her life is her life is going to change and she's going to need to care for this, this little baby that's growing inside of her and really starting and nourishing a family.

Um, so it, it's all about seasons and it's prioritizing. So as opposed to like having all of these goals, cause as a mother and it like the easiest way for me to coach people around goals as a mom is prioritize because you can get so lost in hoping and wanting and wishing and then pushing off things that are important to try and, you know, kind of strive for, for bigger things. And in, cause that, I mean, for me as a single woman, like I was just, you know, climbing and doing all of these things. But as a mother now I'm like, I have to take into my kit, like I have to now consider other beings. So I can't have everything all at once.

Like what within my season is a priority for me to work on? And then once I accomplish it and I feel really comfortable and I'm moving and grooving and I find consistency, okay, cool. What else can I layer on so that I don't feel overwhelmed and that I'm still taking care of myself, but I'm also taking care of my family and I'm also living into this future that I see for myself. So it's being really, really clear on where you're at in your life to be realistic and then prioritize what's, what's urgent and important for you to work on one thing, just one. Cause when we work on five, listen, it comes at the cost of something else.

So what's one thing. Um, and then from there it's like, okay, cool. What's next? What's next? So it's one thing looking at your season of life. That's interesting. Yeah. Cause you know, you see it coming from my perspective, like we don't have to have that same type of life. That's interesting. Yeah. Cause you know, you see it from my perspective, like we don't have to have that same type of worry. Like you can have kids just keep going. But a woman like you've, I've seen it when I used to work at SAP, like they would just delay that gratification of building a family because

hell they're not going to make it to the top if they have this kid. And it's like, that's a sad thing to see is like, so understanding the woman's perspective on like going through those struggles as you grow up with the you know you're your sisters your nieces and things like that right starting to see the struggle they've gone through is just like it's super interesting to finally have insight on like wow women's struggle is completely different than what a man goes through you don't think about that and what i am offering like that just little piece of advice is like it might sound like oh that's it like work on one thing but coming from my point of view it one one thing to focus on will also help her

sleep at night take care of herself like find time for her to go to the gym or for her to read a book to work on her mind, make dinner for her family or like run around town with her kids. Like it's all encompassing of self-care and self-love because women, if they don't care for themselves and they just keep growing and grinding, whether they have a family or not, they're going to look back and be like, I'm burnt. I'm burnt out. My tank is on empty. And now what? I'm unhappy. I'm this, I'm that. So that like what I want to teach is how do we, how do we, how do we shake how goals are and how they look for moms? Because it's just different. It's very different from how I was when, when I set my goals when I was single.

And I think that to piggyback on that, when you're talking about constructing your goals around your season of life and going back to the whole prioritization of goals, really taking an introspective look at what your goals are, what your goals were, depending on your season, and aligning those goals with your priorities now. Exactly.

You know what I'm saying? And it's, you know, maybe that vice president spot and all the responsibilities and things that come with that aren't a priority. And if it's not a priority, why is it still a goal? One thousand percent. Yes. Thank you for adding that. Because that is, that's gold.

That. Mic drop. Show's over. It's coming up. Okay. And that's Ramona. Michael's now the CEO and the founder. No, that's so good.

That's, yeah, it's perfect. You said it very, very well. You know, I watch it happen all the time. Right. You know, for people that are like in the season of, you know, they come into CrossFit with this like competitive fire. And, you know, they want to do all the competitions under the sun and qualify for this and qualify for that. And then they jump into an entrepreneurial journey that has its own thing. And competition is no longer a priority, but it's still a goal.

And now your life is out of alignment. Exactly. You're going to be out of balance no matter what. Right? And our ultimate goal should be to find a way back to center. Absolutely. Right? But, you know, you can't, you'll never come back to center if your goals are not aligned with your priority.

Yeah. And, like, let's just use that example really quickly. So if this person is now embarking on entrepreneurship, what goal within that can they work on? That makes way more sense. And then you walk away being like, damn, like I'm killing it. Versus looking at that goal of wanting to go to regionals or the CrossFit Games and being like, I'm not good enough. Or I'm a failure.

Yeah. You know, and, and it's teaching people like we break our own promises. Oh my gosh. Like our words have zero power. We would rather commit to other people because if, if I gave you my word and I didn't show up, I know that I'm going to disappoint you. But if I don't have anybody else holding me accountable, then it's like, of course, I'm going to disappoint myself.

And I'd rather do that than disappoint others. But if we can disrupt that habit of breaking promises to ourself, imagine the possibilities. Imagine that we can slow down on our yeses. Slow down on our yeses that align with our priorities and align with our goals versus just saying yes because it says yes. And because what we say yes to, it comes at the cost of something else. So that is, that's, I mean, that's another lesson that I'm like, come on, people, let's work on this.

Let's work on understanding that our words have power. And if we don't actually practice that for ourselves, again, what are we role modeling for our kids? How are we showing up with our own personal integrity? Personal integrity. That's massive. No, I think that you've got a very noble cause ahead of you. Because while as empowering as your service is, I think that there are going to be, I don't think, I know, that if you're doing it right, you're going to have a lot of hard conversations with people because, you know, fitness is, you know, a window of life that comes and goes.

You know, sometimes it's CrossFit, sometimes it's yoga, sometimes it's bodybuilding, whatever. There's a season for all that stuff. But when it comes to you, you live with self all day, every day. And when you ask people who are in this space where they're now ready to accept the personal responsibility of looking inside and asking themselves, what is it about my situation that is not happening to me but happening because of me, like in that moment, in that phase of consciousness, shit is really, really hard. Totally. You know? So, uh, I guess my, my next question for you is how do you massage that for people so that it's not such a devastating punch in the face? Like this is an awakening that we all need to have, right? Like as hard as you're taking it, that's good. That means it's impactful. It means something

to you, but you also need to understand that this is part of the deal. Absolutely. Um, massaging it is letting people know it's a practice. Like every day it's a practice. Every day is a practice and it's practicing how you talk to yourself, how you listen to yourself. Um, I just went to a mindfulness, uh, workshop last week and, um, she was a clinical psychologist and she brought all of this really cool scientific knowledge that I like totally ate up. And a really staggering interesting fact is a negative thought can stick within our brain immediately. And it takes 20 seconds for a positive thought to actually absorb into our brain chemistry. Really? Yeah.

So when she used the word pause-tivity, she was like, you have to consider, like, if you're doing something right or if you're, like, feeling yourself, like, you're like, yes, like, I'm, you know, I'm killing it. Like, pause for 20 seconds. Like, take a deep breath. Like, feel your body I'm, you know, I'm, I'm killing it. Pause for 20 seconds. Like take a deep breath, like feel your body. Where are you at? Are you grounded? So that it's literally you're restructuring your brain. You're rewiring your brain so that you're going to be more equipped in your practice to actually choose differently when you're up against a decision.

I thought it was really powerful. So you can rewire your happiness. You can change. Yeah. You can like scientifically it is possible, but with these tools to teach people how to do that, like, I mean,

you can think about a negative thought and like go down the rabbit hole for like 20 more thoughts, 50 more thoughts. And I'm like, dang it. Like I just spent probably 20 seconds talking about how shitty I am where, you know what I mean? Like I need to now, I need to now like water that positive thought and like really take a moment to nourish that and then just practice that. So mindfulness is a really big piece of how I want to massage this work as well. It's like being patient, being compassionate, finding grace with yourself. Yeah. Like if you don't, you can't like, know like laugh at yourself sure um if you can't

i don't know just find light in any situation then it's like okay that's that's your work it's finding more patience it's working on mindfulness um and yeah that that's that's what i would say to answer your question. Love it. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, it makes sense because you think of, you know, the psychology of marketing and it goes to exactly what you said. You know, they'll post a negative picture, somebody crying, and then the positive picture,

somebody's happy, you know, living abundantly. And our minds instantly negate the positive, you know, picture and go directly to the person crying. Yeah. And they've used it in marketing tactics for years. You don't notice it, but you're conditioned to view that thing growing up your entire life. So that's really insightful that you said the positivity.

It makes you think even more. It does. It's like, wow, okay. And we have 55,000 thoughts or something insane, staggering thoughts a day. And do you want to know the percentage of those thoughts that are negative send it how many what did you say send it no send it it's between 75 and 80 percent of our thoughts are negative yeah that is science that is fact that is yes I was like oh what that's crazy yes insane so she also gave us an example of um

like if if we were to if we had a cup of coffee and we got jostled and and we fell what comes out of our cup the coffee coffee if we had water in our cup and we got jostled and it fell, what would come out of the cup? Water. Water. So if we were the cup and we got jostled and we fell over, what would come out of us? It would be whatever we're feeling in that moment. So if I'm holding on to frustration, if I'm holding on to anger, if I'm short-tempered and I got jostled, guess what? That's what's going to spill out of me. Sure.

But if I'm living in abundance, if I'm living out of humor and joy and love, like if that's what's in my cup and I got jostled because I stepped on my kid's Lego and I just dropped a whole bowl of chili, which literally happened last night. I'm like, whatever. You know what I mean? Lego and I just dropped a whole bowl of chili, which literally happened last night. It is what it is, you know, like, yeah, I said, I probably use some type of curse word, but I was like, whatever. Yeah. You know, but like, that's because I'm filling myself up with that. Mm hmm. Interesting. So when it comes to the, the self-work the affirmation part the the abundance mentality and living in that existence where did you where did you learn to bring that into your consciousness because you can have that and it just be part of who you are. And it's a whole nother deal to do it on purpose. Like when did that come into your being?

Oh, go ahead and say it. My job. Oh, good question. Good question. Reach, reach.

I'm feeling, I'm feeling about totally. Okay. Um, that's a bigger headset. I know. Show your head. Jostle Hammy Eagles.

I know. Yes. Yes. That is what's spilling out right now. He's like, yeah, that was a good question. Okay. Um, okay. The first time.

Well, I'm going to take it back to when I was a store manager at Lululemon. Um, because honestly, all of this, I, I've never had this work when I was in my twenties either. I was like mid twenties was when I really started seeing like, Oh, this is really cool work. And I like looking at myself. Um, and I would say it was through like a self-development conference that I like, I mean, I, I was all in, I was all in, um, anything that was being asked of me, I did. Um, I'm a real follower.

So I was like, oh yeah, they're going to totally know if I don't do this. Um, so, um, and then I realized like being coached and then applying it opened, um, specifically a relationship with my dad. Like my dad, um, he had some infidelities with my mom and, um, I was holding onto so much with him that through this conference, I learned that my past doesn't have to dictate my future and I get to choose that. But in order for me to like actually believe that and live into that, I needed to have a conversation with my dad. Sure. So I had this conversation with my dad and it was like, I was so nervous.

I was so nervous. I don't want to tell him how I felt about him. And then I, I did in a very loving way and he was very receptive and, um, I saw hope again. I was like, okay, maybe I can really have this relationship that I had with my dad my whole life back again because I, I did this work and now like, and then I was like hooked. I was like, okay, like where else, where else can I scan in my life and have these amazing really like conversations. So it was like hooked. I was like, okay, where else? Where else can I scan in my life and have these amazing conversations? So it was like equipping me with being able to communicate in order to free myself from these cobwebs that I've been entangled with. And then it was like I was, again, doing the work myself. And then I just started like living into it and then

because I was doing the work and I was freeing myself up from all of this shit I was like I need to how do I coach people now yeah and then it was like okay what other conference can I go to what other seminars out there what book can I read to just learn for myself. I would never, ever, ever coach anyone through something that I never experienced. So it was like just, um, learning as much as I could. And then, um,

like being a store manager, that was like, my job was to coach and develop people. Um, so I got to like experience, you know, really cool conversations and teach people things and learn from them. And,

um, and that was really the the start of okay um living into this consciously yeah and i want to backtrack into that story um i think when you embrace and start to consciously live that abundance mentality uh and we talked about it with Logan a couple of shows ago where people that live in this existence actually embrace friction, embrace conflict. They'd rather be uncomfortable for five minutes, get the shit out of the way and move on with life as opposed to internalizing things, leaving things unsaid and, you know, or having the discussion about you with somebody else as opposed to us figuring it out. And, uh, I think that's, that's a very critical element of this. This whole thing is getting people to understand that,

that, that conflict, that, that momentary friction is good. It totally is. It's not a negative experience. It's a conversation that needs to be had. Absolutely.

And the, both of you will be the better for it. And your perception of that conversation, going back to what you said at the beginning is completely up to you. Right. You control that. Right. And I was living in, like I was living in this story. I was living in a story that I made up that wasn't facts. It was, it was, you know, I was, I mean, going back, the story is what I'm talking about. My dad is, you know, I was living, I was living into like, he's this awful person. And I mean, all of these things and, and then learning what I did, I got to,

I got to like actually figure out, okay, well, what, well, who is my dad to me? He's loving and caring. I got to remember who he was, and then I was like, I was the one that perceived him this way. He never, ever showed me that. Yes, he made a mistake, and do I do other people in my life who make mistakes? Do I show up that way for them? Or like, do I view them the same way? So I had to like be able to separate story from fact.

And then like, just like, I'm not going to say like what he did. I'm like, oh dad, I'm okay with it. Like it was wrong, but that doesn't make me love him any less. Sure. And I did. I love him any less. Sure. And I did. I loved him less because of that. And it ruined every male relationship that I ever had until I started doing this work.

And guess what? I found my husband. Cause you, I mean, I was the crazy girl. I was the crazy girlfriend who I'm like, you don't, you better not cheat on me.

And they're like, wow. Yeah. You attracted everything you didn't want. And then they're like, uh, yeah, I don't think we are good together. Yeah. I was like, why am I always single? That's wild. For real though.

I am serious. Yes. and it was because of of what i didn't what i didn't want to deal with i'm so happy that you're real enough with yourself to draw that correlation yes like the crazy girl yeah is has baggage that they don't want to deal with. Or the crazy person. Whatever. The asshole guy hasn't dealt with his mommy issues. Whatever. You know what I mean?

Because we're so quick to be like, that's them. I'm this way because of somebody else. No, no, no. You're an asshole because you're choosing to be an asshole exactly you know yeah i was like oh he just wasn't my type i'm like uh no it was i i i wasn't my own type right right and positive or negative you know that that which you think about most is what you invite into your life. That's right.

You know, and I don't, I think that people overwhelmingly underestimate that fact. I agree. What you practice grows stronger. And I mean, I was practicing, I wasn't practicing love and honesty and, you know, it was like, I don't know what the heck I was doing. And, um, until I had an experience that allowed me to say like, okay, I'm all in, I'm ready. I'm ready to shake my life up. And I had to come to that on my own. And so that's also like the work that I'm doing. And I mean, really just for anyone who wants to change their outlook, you have to be ready to change yourself.

Like I would love to just go into a room and talk to people, but I feel it's more powerful when people show up because they chose to be there. They have a little more skin in the game. And I might not always have, that might not always be, you know, the arena for me, but I chose to be in that seat that day. And like I committed to myself, like I'm all in, I'm going to be a student. I'm going to do the homework. And that was like the first time that I had such a breakthrough that I was like, Oh, we're okay. I need more. I need more. I need more. I need more. I need more. So it's, um, yeah, it's like giving people the permission to say like, okay, where, where are you at? And are you happy with yourself? Yeah.

I love that. How would you define your life purpose at this point? Through Lululemon. Yeah. Yeah. I, I mean, I, I've always loved people like my growing up. I don't get that from you at all. I know growing up, um, my mom was like, I don't want you in the kitchen. Um, which maybe that was a good thing. But, um, whenever family was over, it was my responsibility to go talk to him. So I would go talk to my cousins. I'd go talk to my, my great grandma who was 90. And no matter who was in the room, I was like relating, talking. And I've always loved people. But through the work of the last eight years, growing within my leadership and serving different roles, seeing other people find themselves is such a joy in my life

that I'm like, how do I do that? How do I do that every single day? Like these fancy pants are so awesome, but that was getting in the way of what, you know, what I wanted to be doing. So that was where, okay, I'm like the season of my life. I was a mom. I'm going through holiday and retail. I'm like, okay, like, okay, what can be next for me? What can I prioritize? I know that my purpose is this. I never thought I was going to quit my job.

I always thought I was going to be a lifer at Lululemon because I loved the company that much. But what my first goal was or what my first step was within my values and my priority was I needed to have step was within my my values and my and my priority was I needed to have a conversation with my husband and like that as silly as that was like that was your goal it freaked me out sure knowing that I also was bringing in a really great income and I was going to have to ask him if he could provide for our family and put his

goals on hold so I could live into mine. And that was really scary for me. Sure. So, I mean, you would think like, oh, I did it within a day. Like it took me months. I was like, okay, we got my, we got our drinks out. I'm like, okay, I'm ready. And then I was like, okay, weeks go by, you know? So it was like, it fine. I was like, okay, I'm ready. And then I was like, okay, weeks go by, you know? So it was like, it fine. I was like, okay, come on, I got this. And then from there it just was like, okay, let's do this. Yeah. That's awesome. I love that. Thank you. So diving into your daily practice, you know, um, before we let you go today, uh, I'm going to ask you two questions in succession and you can ask them on any, and you can answer them on any level, mental, physical, spiritual, wherever you're at.

The first of which is what do you do each and every day to feed yourself and kickstart your motivation? And the follow on to that is in that daily practice, how do you fuel yourself to create that sustainable momentum over time especially now that everything's in its infancy and you're like running running okay so the first was feed second one is fuel got it um did there yes oh i want you guys to say that about yourselves it's amazing um i wake up every day um and this is this has been just kind of a newer practice of my life and i wake up um thinking about my intention for the day. But as opposed to making it different every single day, I'm inviting in like what miracle is going to happen to me today?

What blessing or what miracle? And sometimes I'll throw in magical. Like if I can like have like, if I can manifest magic, if I can manifest miracles and blessings in my life and when they happen, I'm not like surprised. I'm like, oh shit. That's that. I mean, I started my day this way. This is amazing. So I wake up every day and I just take a breath because my kids are usually in my bed or screaming

at me and I'm like, okay, like what, like what blessing is waiting for me today? Or like what magical message am I, am I going to hear today? Um, so that's, that's how I start my day. That's what fuels me. And then I'm just open. Like I'm open throughout my day of like, okay, I'll run into someone who I haven't seen in years. We have a deep conversation. I'm like, that was my blessing. That was my miracle. And then what feeds me is, especially in what I'm doing now, is just listening to my gut. My gut feeds me to say yes.

And going back to listening to our body, in the past, I always listened to my stupid head. My gut would say like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But my mind's like, no, do it. No, do it, girl. And then I'll do it. And I'm like, damn it. That was the wrong, I totally made the wrong decision. But my gut was telling me. So I'm listening to what I'm saying yes to from my gut versus my head. Um, and it's like putting myself in positions like this. It's being able to meet people like you saying yes to things. And, um, honestly, like skipping the bullshit. And, um, when I see people, it's like, I want to know about them. Like I really want to know what they're up to and what they're doing because, again, that's a blessing for me to maybe uncover something for myself or see something new in them. Period.

Love it. And where can everybody in this community go follow you and support you? Yes. Which we have personally, professionally, everything. So my website is harmonia calm okay H er mo n ia calm and then my social handles on Instagram and Facebook are harmonia phx that's it awesome sweet yeah love it would you like to do a workshop for the girls at the gym? Yes.

Let's do that. We'll figure that out offline. Done. Yeah. Awesome. Sweet. You guys were amazing. You're amazing.

You're amazing. You're amazing. You guys out there in Feed Me, Fuel Me Land, make sure you get out there and support everything that Jill has going on. Support Harmonia. Yeah. Jill has going on, support Harmonia. She is single-handedly, for the time being, leading a movement in an extremely positive

direction. So we appreciate you being with us today. Thank you. This is an amazing platform. Until next time, guys. Feed me, fuel me. And that'll do it for this episode with our special guest, Jill Peterson. If you want to check out everything that Jill has going, please check out the full show notes on shrugcollective.com. Also, be sure to connect

with us on social media, including Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at Feed Me Fuel Me. We would love to hear from each and every one of you. If you found this episode inspiring in any way, please leave a rating and a comment in iTunes so we can continue on this journey together. Also be sure to share it with your friends and family on social media including Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter or any other social platforms that you use. We really appreciate you spending your time with us today and allowing us to join you on your journey. We would love to hear feedback on this episode as well as guests and topics for future episodes. To end this episode, we would love to leave you with a quote from Roger McDonald.

Your great power lies not on the surface, but deep within your being. Thank you again for joining us, and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye. You got me feeling it. I know you're there.