Barbell Shrugged - How To Get The Results You’ve Been Waiting For - w/ Dr. Sean Pastuch - Active Life Radio #29

Episode Date: January 24, 2020

Are you still rowing during workouts when everybody else is running? Are you still unhappy with your physique even though it’s been over a year since you started the gym? Are you still feeling frustrated even after spending thousands of dollars towards your health?   This challenge is for you.   In this episode, Dr. Sean challenges you to finally get what you’ve been wanting out of your fitness. If you are putting in the work but not getting the results, it’s time to speak your truth. It may be uncomfortable, but we promise that if you take on this challenge you could be happier, fitter and more fulfilled.   Minutes: 5:55 – Will you accept the challenge? 10:00 – Tell your coach THIS 16:30 – Wearing a mask to cover your truth 25:30 – Being vulnerable to get real results   Please Support our Sponsors: Organifi - Save 20% at http://organifi.com/shrugged   Connect with us: Work with an Active Life Coach: http://activeliferx.com/shrugged Find Dr. Sean @DrSeanPastuch   ------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/alr-ep29 ------------------------------------------------------------------ ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/barbellshruggedpodcast TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

What's up everybody? Welcome back to Active Life Radio on the Shrugged Collective Network. I'm Dr. Sean Pastuch and I'm your host. Today, I'm going to challenge every single one of you who goes to a gym and spends $75 a month or more to be there. I'm going to challenge you. I hope you like challenge because this is a challenge that will not be comfortable and will be immensely valuable. If you're down for it, the challenge I'm going to ask you to do in a moment could be the one that set you up to live the life that you joined the gym to be able to live, but are still struggling to achieve. And I know who you are and you know who you are also. Okay. I'm talking to those of you out there who are maybe still not at the body weight that you wanted to be when you signed up for the gym

a year ago, but you've forgotten that that's why you signed up for the gym a year ago. You're still not happy with the way that you look. You don't feel confident. Maybe you feel even a little bit ashamed. That's no different, by the way, for you out there who has the shoulder pain that you thought the gym would be able to get rid of. It's no different for you, the person who's out there right now

who hasn't been able to run for the last two years. And every time all of your friends and classmates run, you find yourself on the rower. I know it doesn't make you feel good. I know it makes you question going to the gym every time you see running in the workout. Mm-hmm. That goes for you too, Mr. High School Athlete who's still struggling to climb the rope, who feels less than he'd like to feel,

less than you would like to feel as far as your value, your worth, your athleticism, your manhood? Yeah, I see you. I failed a lot of you guys when I owned a gym. I failed a lot of people just like all of the people I just named. And that list goes on and on and on. And you know exactly who you are. I have a challenge for you and the challenge could change your life. It could change the life of your coach. It could change the life of your gym. If you do it, I promise you it will change at least one of those. Yours. You will be happier.

You will be fitter. You will be more fulfilled. You will be more confident. The truth is, in order to get there, we have to take the kid gloves off. So you're going to get challenged today. Before we get to that, I want to remind all of you that this podcast is brought to you by Active Life, the company that I love, the company that is my fourth child, fifth if you count the dog. We are on a mission to humanize the doctor, professionalize the coach, and empower you, the individual.

We believe that the healthcare clinic of the future is the gym, and that the healthcare provider of the future is the gym and that the healthcare provider of the future is the coach. And in order for those things to become true, we're going to need all of our coaches out there to level up. We're going to need all of our gyms out there to level up. And the reality is they both need each other. Someone sent me a DM the other day. Manny, if you're listening, I'm talking about you. He connected me to barbell jobs on a DM and was upset with them for marketing a $15 an hour coaching job in a gym. He thought they shouldn't put it on their site.

I understand where he's coming from, and I disagree. What should happen is that job and that pay should sit on that site. No coach should reach out. The gym owner who posted it should get the message that professionals will not do the job for $15. And if they want to run a novice gym, they can open a commercial one

and hope that 80% of their members don't show up. Kid gloves off. It's time to level up. So it's challenge time. It's challenge time. And this, by the way, this challenge, this goes for any of you out there who are already working with us at Active Life. If you're working with us at Active Life and you haven't gotten what you want to get, this challenge goes for you. The challenge is simple. I challenge you, all of you,

to walk into the gym and tell your coach or tell the gym owner, pick your favorite. Tell them the reason why to have not been able to solve the problem that you have spent thousands of dollars trying to solve in this gym for the last six months, year, two years, five years, whatever it is. I want you to get vulnerable. I want you to get real. I'm challenging you to tell somebody who has the skills, who has the wherewithal, how it feels. They need to know how it feels. They need to be able to empathize. And if you don't tell them how it feels, they won't understand. Here's what I mean. If you go to a gym and you've been trying to lose, let's just call it 25 pounds for the last three years,

and you haven't lost any weight. I'm not picking on you, by the way. Like I said, this is the same as if you have low back pain that hasn't gone away and your coach told you that they could help you with it. You want to be stronger and you don't feel any stronger, and your coach told you they could help you with it. You still can't climb the rope. You're still whipping yourself on double unders and you feel terrible about it. You're still rowing when everybody else runs and you only grow the anxiety in your own head. Every time a running workout comes up, I'm talking to all of you. Right now, the gym owner or the coach at your gym believes

it's not that big of a deal. It's not that big of a deal. They don't think it's important because you have not expressed to them how you feel every day. You haven't told them what happens when you look in the mirror. What do you say to yourself when you're naked, when you get out of the shower and the towel's on you? You haven't told them how you feel. You haven't told them that you joined three years ago to lose 25 pounds and you still haven't and that you never really cared about the 25 pounds,

but that you didn't feel beautiful, manly, attractive, and that you still don't, despite spending thousands of dollars and countless hours trying to. And that that affects you at your job. And that that affects you in bed with your significant other. And that that affects you with your kids. And that that affects you with your kids. And that that affects you speaking publicly. Your coach doesn't know that because you haven't told them. And you, the person who has knee pain when you're on the rower,

every single time, excuse me, when the gym is supposed to run, you're on the rower because you have knee pain. It doesn't matter how good you are at everything else. And you know that it bothers you more that you still have to row when everybody else runs, then it provides you exhilaration that you're able to do so many other things better than everybody else. It eats at you. You see the workout on the blog and you skip the gym that day. Or you begrudgingly drag your ass into the gym, dreading it, dealing with anxiety about it every day. Tell your coach, this is how I feel.

And you, the person who has shoulder pain, every time you go overhead, don't tell your coach that your shoulder hurts. Tell your coach that you get anxiety when you see overhead workouts in the gym because you know it's going to hurt. And you feel like a burden on the coaching staff in the gym because you know it's going to hurt and you feel like a burden on the coaching staff in the gym every time a workout comes out that you can't do as it's written. Tell your coaches and when they respond to you with something like, oh, you're not a burden. Let them know, great. That doesn't change the way that I feel. I need a solution to this problem. And I'm not talking about therapy. I don't want to lay down on your couch while you take notes on your yellow pad. I need a solution to this problem that looks like me not having shoulder pain anymore.

I need a solution to this problem that looks like me being able to run with the rest of class. I need a solution to this problem that looks like me understanding why I'm still 25 pounds overweight. Me understanding why I still don't have the body that I want. That's what I'm looking for. That's what I need. That's what you need to say. It's what you need to communicate. Because right now, the coach in your gym doesn't think it's important. And it's not their fault.

You haven't told them. You haven't told them. I'll tell you my experience with this. My experience with this started back in 2015, I think. Yeah, 2016. My wife and I had saved about $15,000. And when I say my wife and I, I mean my wife. I had saved maybe 30 bucks out of the 15,000. We were trying to get ready to buy a house, which is a totally different conversation in itself, if that's a good idea or not. But either way, we were looking to buy a house because we had a baby and it was time. Couldn't live in a one bedroom apartment anymore with a kid and a dog. I was throwing, I was running a chiropractic clinic, a CrossFit gym, and an event company all at the same time. I was working 16 to 17-hour days, five days a week.

On Saturdays, I would work about anywhere from 10 to 12 hours. And on Sundays, I resigned myself to not working. However, I certainly thought about work all day. I was grinding my ass off. This is less than four years ago. Nothing was working. I was making less than $30,000 a year. As a doctor, a gym owner, and an event owner. The event, by the way, in case you're

thinking about it, put 1,200 people in it. 1,200 people at a CrossFit competition on the beach in New York. Think about that. Not a little event. The gym had about 160 members in it. Not a small gym. The clinic would see roughly 60 patients a week at that time. Not bad, considering we were charging at the time $65 a visit. But I had expenses. I didn't understand how money worked. And one would do well and the others would fail. And then the one would do well and the others would fail. And then the other would do well and the others would fail.

And then the other would do well and the others would fail. Until it all hit the fan. Our last event that we threw, when I was an owner, the event is still going on. It's a great event. I strongly recommend you go to one. Flex on the Beach, Flex on the Mall. That's what they're called. Right in front of the Washington Capitol,

the Capitol building and the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C. is Flex on the Mall. And Flex on the Beach is right here in Long Beach, New York. Awesome venues, awesome events. I'm just not a part of them anymore. I have a great relationship with my partner, who I used to run them with. He welcomes me back anytime I want. I'm just not a part of them anymore. I have a great relationship with my partner who I used to run them with. He welcomes me back anytime I want. I can't do it. It's not worth it. So the last event that we run, here's where everything comes to a head for me.

My entire life came into a clear picture here and I had to do exactly what I am challenging all of you to do. The last event that we ran lost $26,000 despite the fact that we had a thousand or so people at the event competing. $26,000 in losses. What I had been hiding from my wife all this time, who I love, by the way, and would never ask me to hide anything from her, what I had been hiding from her this whole time was that the reason I did all of that work, the reason I was putting in 16 to 17 hour days, five days a week and 10 to 15 hours on a Saturday and thinking about it all day on a Sunday was because I didn't feel like a man. I didn't feel what the hell to call it, despite my confident persona, I was not confident. I was insecure. I did not feel like a man in our relationship.

I did not feel like I was contributing to the family. I felt like I was being carried. I joked around and brushed it off, calling her my sugar mama. She was a teacher making about, at the time, $60,000 a year. In New York, that's okay. I was insecure about it. I wore a mask all the time. And so I stayed stuck.

I told her I'm working because I want to make more money. I'm working because I want to build this thing. None of that was true. It was true, but it was the symptom. The reason I wanted to build this thing is because I wanted to feel like I was worth something. I wanted to feel like I was the man. I wanted to feel like I was providing. I wanted to feel like I was contributing. And I wanted to feel like my wife could count on me. And I didn't, I didn't. And it sucked. And I hid that from her. When our event lost $26,000, I was responsible for 13 of it. We had saved, like I told you, $15,000,

about 30 bucks of which was mine. I found myself for the first time in God knows how long, crying, crying, in the space between my entryway and my kitchen in my one-bedroom apartment, hugging my wife, telling her that I was sorry because this epitomized all of my fears,

all of my insecurities, all of my lack of confidence. Not only could I not provide but I was a cost I was a fucking cost so I had to tell my wife I'm sorry I cannot believe

I lost $13,000 of your money. It took me almost a week to figure out how I was going to say it to her. I was so scared. I was, you know, envisioning how it was going to go. And I just, I didn't know. Like, is she going to yell at me? That would be terrible. I already feel so bad. At my wedding, I told my wife during our vows, we wrote our own vows. I told her I was going to be her penny stock. What I meant by that was at the time I was making no money and I was in debt and I couldn't provide anything, but that I knew one day I would be able to do something that we could all be proud of, that I would be able to contribute to the family in a way that we could be excited about.

And if you're not into money, that's fine. It's a you thing. I have a need to make enough money that I can support my family. I'm not here to debate morals. I told her at the wedding I was a penny stock. And in the kitchen, I will never forget this ever. I will never, ever forget this. Kim, if you're listening, you already know what this meant. As I'm just got the chills thinking about it. As we stood there in the kitchen,

I'm hugging my wife, crying, telling her I'm sorry. She told me, it's okay. You're my penny stock. I believe in you. And that gave me the confidence to tell her the truth. I don't feel confident. I haven't felt secure. I want to be a man. After I told her that it was cathartic. I was like, damn. Yes, that is what I want. Not to make a lot of money, to feel like a man. Yes.

What things make me feel like a man? I'm going to start cutting everything out of my life that makes me feel like anything other than that. I'm going to start destroying anything in the path that sets me away from feeling like that.

I am going to do the difficult things that it is going to take to achieve exactly that. No matter what. And when I feel that way, not through therapy on someone's couch, but by through actual real life achievement. When I achieve, because guys, that's what drives me, okay? It doesn't have to be what drives you. It is what drives me.

It will likely always be what drives me. I am comfortable with that. I love that, and because of that, I will keep achieving. Once I owned that, it was game on. The next thing that I did was hire a coach that costs $1,000 a month while I was making less than $30,000 a year and had just lost 13,000 of the $15,000 that we had saved. I hired a coach that I couldn't afford

because I needed it. I needed it. I needed someone to teach me how to be a man in business. My father had done a great job of teaching me how to be a man in life. He could have done a great job of teaching me to be a man in business, but I couldn't hear it from my father. So I needed somebody else. By the way, my mother played a great role in making me a man too. I'm proud of the man that I am because of the way my parents shaped me. I was not proud of the businessman that I was because I wouldn't let them help me with that. So I hired a coach for $1,000 a month for one two-hour meeting a month. And that coach asked me why I wanted to do anything.

I didn't know. I didn't know. I knew I wanted to feel like a man, but I didn't know how that felt. What would it feel like if I was to be a man? Shit. I have no idea. Well, then you can't get it. If the coach in your gym is valuable, he or she or they will do what my coach at that time did for me.

Sat down, took my money, despite the fact that I couldn't afford afford it because he knew if I didn't pay, I wouldn't pay attention. And he worked through with me what I needed to be thinking about so that I could make the appropriate decisions. That meant reprioritizing things. It meant getting rid of things in my life that I thought were valuable,

but weren't. Like, for rid of things in my life that I thought were valuable, but weren't. Like, for example, some of my friends. Like, for example, some of my free time. Like, for example, some of my beliefs around money especially. That's what he did. If you go to your coach in your gym and you presented them with, I feel like X, I feel like this whenever this happens and I'm paying you to help me not feel that way. What is it that we need to do differently than what we're doing right now so that I can feel the way I want to feel? If you do that, your coach needs to make it important.

That's not stuff that's going to get solved in class. It's not stuff that's going to get solved in class. It's not stuff that's going to get solved in a few extra minutes out of class. You're going to have to work with that coach. One on one. They're going to have to have the skills. To solve your problem. And they might not have the skills. To solve it 360 degrees.

They might not be able to figure out. Why you feel like a burden on your staff when you can't do the workout. They love to help you with that. That's not their job. Their job is to help you be able to do the workout. So put it on them. I'm not asking for them to be your therapist. I'm asking for them to be your therapist. I'm asking for them to fix

your problem, the physical manifestation of your problem. If your coach is listening to this, or if you want to share with your coach, feel free to, if you're 20 pounds overweight, 25 pounds overweight, and you don't like the way that you look and you're embarrassed when you look in the mirror and you don't feel confident standing in front of a room of people because for whatever reason, the way your clothes fit make you feel less than tell your coach that let your coach know it's not your responsibility coach to make me feel great in front of that room. It is your responsibility and I will do my part and whatever my role is in this. It is your responsibility to help me get the body that I currently believe will make me feel the way I need to feel in front of that room.

In bed with my spouse. In the mirror in the morning after the shower or in the evening after the shower, whenever you take your fucking shower. That is the coach's job. Now you might get to that body and still feel like crap. That's a reality. And at that point, it becomes the coach's responsibility to refer you to the person who can help you, not them.

In this example, there are a litany of people out there. Therapists. Mental performance coaches. I have a phenomenal one. Any of you ladies out there who want to work with somebody like this? Natalie Rodriguez. Fit soul. If you want to get connected with Natalie,

she is insanely valuable for your self-image, self-talk actions. She didn't pay me for this. No shot. In fact, I pay her. Okay? So, there are people out there who can help you.

It's not going to be free. You're going to have to pay with both your attention and your intention and your money. So, what you need to be asking yourself is, will you accept my challenge? Will you accept my challenge? And understand this,

if the answer to the question is yes, and you don't know how to go about doing this, you don't have the words, you don't have the confidence, you're just not sure what to do, you email me. You email me directly. Dr. Sean at ActiveLifeRx.com. Dr. Sean at ActiveLifeRx.com. I will answer every single email that comes from this podcast. The subject line.

Shrugged challenge. If you send me an email with the subject line shrugged challenge. Because you don't know how to initiate this conversation. I will answer every single one of your emails. Every one of them. This is important. We need to humanize the doctor, professionalize the coach, and empower you, the individual. That's all I got. Turn pro. All right, Shrug Nation. I hope you enjoyed that episode of Active Life Radio on the Shrug Collective Network. If you did, it would be a huge

help for us to get the word out there. If you would head to iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts and leave us an honest rating. If you want to go bonus mode, please feel free to leave us a review as well. Anything that you listened to that you want to go bonus mode, please feel free to leave us a review as well. Anything that you listened to that you're interested in doing yourself. If you want to work with an active life coach, one-on-one yourself, head to active life, rx.com slash shrugged, fill out the application. And we'll be talking to you soon. Till then, turn pro.