Barbell Shrugged - Identity, Internal Stories, Flow State, and The Strong Coach with Drew Dillon & Aaron Jannetti of The Kamiwaza Podcast- Strong Coach #6

Episode Date: November 30, 2019

Today's show is a lot of fun because we flipped the script and I get interviewed by Drew Dillon and Aaron Jannetti of The Kamiwaza Podcast. I'm sharing this because we cover a lot of new ground in the world of coaching and development. We touched on so many important areas of identity, internal stories, journaling, psychology, flow state, trauma, and growth.  Enjoy!

Welcome to the Strong Coach Podcast, Season 3, Episode 6. Today's show is a lot of fun because we flip the script and I get interviewed by Drew Dillon and Aaron Giannetti of the Kami Waza Podcast. I'm sharing this because we cover a lot of new ground in the world of coaching and development. There's going to be a lot of new information for you, so whip out that notepad. And if you didn't know, this is the show to learn how to be the best coach possible while building a sustainable and lucrative coaching business. For more shows like this, head over to strongcoachpodcast.com to subscribe to over 10 shows that you can binge on today.

And while you're over at strongcoachpodcast.com, download your free three-step coaching business tune-up. Yeah, you're going to get a three-step process that's going to help you improve your business today for free. Just go over to strongcoachpodcast.com and you can download that there. Make sure to be following us over on Instagram as well, at The Strong Coach, to learn on what's working in the industry right now. We're putting out new content all the time. We're highlighting what's working for our clients. We tell you what is working for us.

So, we're running a coaching business. You're running a coaching business. So, what we do is, as we discover new things that work for us, we share them with you. Enjoy the show. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Kami Waza podcast. I am Aaron Genetti, and I'm here with the wonderful and amazing Drew Dillon. What's up, guys?

What's up, guys? What's up, guys? And we are here with a very special guest today, Mr. Mike Bledsoe himself. How are you today, sir? Excellent. Very special. I feel very special. The Mike Bledsoe. The Mike Bledsoe. As Ohio State would say, you know. With capital.

Ohio State University. Capital T-H-E. I do put the in front of a lot of things. You should. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The Bledsoe show.

There it is. The Strong Coach. There you go. Actually, that fucked me up the first time. I tried to tag Strong Coach on like three things

and I kept just putting at Strong Coach really fast and then it was like, oh, it's not tagging to anything and I was like nope it's the yes somebody's got the website somebody's got the instagram no one's doing shit with it but they locked it up so that's why it's the it's 2019 names are just i can everywhere i can relate i went to ohio state it's the everything. The most important things are the. Actually, isn't it the Project Lift? No. It is now.

It is now. Change is submitted. Oh, man. Well, we are hanging out outside in the side yard we established of Drew's house today. And we just ate some deliciousness. We're drinking some bourbon now and catching up. Yeah. And just talking, which is amazing. So we've got Mike here. We just recorded a little bit. I know you're going to record a little bit with Drew and Chelsea. Most of you guys have heard Drew's been going through

the strong coach program. It was four months ago when you started, right? Cause you're through it. You were class seven, seven. I think we started in April ish. Oh wow. wow. Yeah. Yeah. So he's been through it. Chelsea is class nine. I am class 10 into the second week. And so we're all going through this journey through the Strong Coach. So I think it's kind of fun and fascinating to have Mike here today and talk about some things. One thing that I would love to discuss, and you've touched upon it in a podcast before

that I listened to to you and i met the first time nine years ago and mike bledsoe nine years ago was not the mike bledsoe i'm sitting across the table from no aaron genetti nine years ago is not the same guy yeah that nine years ago so one of the things that i i want chat about, if I may kind of take this down the route, because I've been thinking about this. Uh-oh. Not in a bad way. Let's go the idea of completely changing your identity. Nine years ago is a long time and yet not that long of a time. Yeah. And I imagine from what I've been able to follow of you for a long time that there's been more than one identity change over that span.

Sure. So let's talk about that. The ability to legitimately change your identity and change your future and change paths and that. I think it's a really, the Western mind likes structure. And so it's really good to talk about the structure of identity first. And we like to think about identity as a noun, as a static thing. It's like, I can look at it. I can put it on paper. The identity is a fact and it doesn't move. Like you could say your identity as a firefighter or your identity as a CEO or identity as an athlete

or a weightlifter or whatever. And I started really getting into identity work where it's like, okay, I'm now going to live into this new identity. And then when I get into that, fully into that identity, I can create multiple identities and I can let go of old identities and things like that. So from a structured mind, how I first started approaching it was like that. And I did it without even knowing it. I started adopting, calling myself like myself like okay i am a marketer and that was a hard one to say by the way like i go someone goes are you a marketer i was like ah not really like do you do marketing i'm like well yeah so you're a marketer i go ah because

i had like all these stories about what being a marketer meant yeah it was like it's not me and once i really took that on then I could be really good at it. I started to realize, oh, I could have more than one identity. And I started taking that on. And what I've gotten to in the last couple of years is really looking at identity as a fluid experience. Yeah. And instead of it being something that is fixed, it might be one of those things where I go, I'm going to take on these three identities this year.

And that's a really, anyone who's doing that work is moving pretty fast. If you're thinking about it at that level, you're moving fast. Yeah. And then now where I'm at is identity has become very fluid where I see myself as always changing all the time. Most people and the way I used to be is resisting change, resisting letting go of an old identity and resisting taking on a new identity. And the resistance causes suffering. And so it's okay. How do I reduce suffering in my life?

Well, the way I reduce suffering is to allow more flow. The way I allow more flow into my life is to stop resisting and to accept the person I am becoming at all times. So you're always becoming something. trying to create certainty in their life. And the only way you can create certainty is like, I can have certainty because, so I have this identity and I create this identity based on my beliefs that if I believe this, this creates my identity and that's fixed. And that makes it easy to sleep at night. And so the thing that I've been talking about to myself, when I talk about things, I'm talking to myself about them, is the next level for me has been, if you can embrace certain uncertainty, if I can be in a

place where I am comfortable with uncertainty, then I can do anything. Because people are grasping for certainty. Well, what's going to happen next? Well, if I do that, then what's going to happen? And really getting to a place of being more in a place of wonderment and going, yeah, I'm being drawn to becoming this person. I'm being drawn to be this man. And as I'm drawn towards it, yeah, it's scary and exciting. And I can resist where my heart is taking me, or I could say, you know what? I'm going to surrender and I'm going to surrender into this, this pool that the universe is pulling me this direction. My heart's pulling me this direction and it's causing me to become a new person. I'm becoming something different at all times. And so coming from a place where I go, Oh, I'm becoming this thing.

And I have this fixed identity and I'm like, Oh, I checked the box. I became this guy. And now it's more of a, I am following the energy and who I am supposed to be, who I am showing up to be in every moment is becoming more obvious. I'm just like, oh, this is obvious. Oh, this is obvious. And so that's where I'm at. I don't know if I answered your question, but I decided it seemed I just got into a flow state there.

So one thing, listening to you talk about it. So what I've found interesting with my time through Strong Coach and working together is everything that you just said in your flow state, Drew, from five years ago, would have been cross-eyed and a bit just confused. And what I imagine... Damn it. Aaron's right next to you going like what the fuck is this guy yeah like what i want i want to know does it make sense to you now yes okay yes okay and at least i got there so one thing i want to bring up for for people what i imagine is that has changed allowing me to follow that flow was the new access I've gained in feelings throughout my body. And you and I were talking last night and one thing I said to you was I feel that my space between stimulus and response has 10x'd. It almost feels like time slows down. I'll be in a conversation

with someone and all of a sudden I'll feel my chest getting tight. And there's this moment to be able to breathe into it. So when you talk about identity and you talk about that discomfort, I don't think you actually said the word discomfort, but more of a resistance, right? We resist it. So that suffering suffering part of that resistance is to change also has that discomfort. It's like resistance causes discomfort yet there's discomfort to change. Yeah. So I'll bring some science into this real quick. So we can talk about your 10 X experience. You're actually accurate. You're very accurate in this and there's science to back this up. And that is you've gotten more in touch back this up. And that is,

you've gotten more in touch with your body. So your body, Joe Dispenza talks about this, which I love, which is words are the language of the mind and feelings are the language of the body. Now the body is speaking to us and giving us data constantly. And we can also think about the body operating is closely connected to subconscious, the limbic brain. And so the body is constantly sending data. Now, the average person is so disconnected from their body because they want to avoid feelings, right? And we all do this. I did it for the longest time.

And until you do a certain level of work, you're not going to have access to your body. Now, we think about the vagus nerve. Everyone's familiar with that. It connects the brain and the body and can up-regulate you, down-regulate you. You can regulate and stimulate the vagus nerve with breath. And so one of the things that we've learned about the vagus nerve is 90% of the information is flowing north. That means the body is telling the brain things. Only 10% of what the brain is using that nerve is going to the body. So the body is telling the brain a lot more than the brain is telling the body. And so there's 10 times more data coming in that most people have zero access to. And so

that what you're talking about is you have a 10x space that you didn't have between a stimulus and response. And so that response that we have when someone says something, we respond and we say something fucked up. And then 10 seconds later, we go, ah, I shouldn't have said that thing. You know, because it was an automatic response. That's the limbic brain that kicking in and making a decision because we're in a state of survival. So if you're living in a state of survival, you have very little time between stimulus and response. If you get out of survival and you get in this more creative state and you can downregulate the system, you're less likely to rely on your limbic brain to make everyday decisions, which most

people are in such a heightened state. That's all that's happening. So they're actually not making choices. All their behavior is dictated by previous experience. And so what you're talking about is you've likely in the program gotten access to your breath, gotten access to the story that creates it. You've down-regulated the body, which we focus on heavily in there. And when that happens, you create space. Every bit of space allows you to have more creativity. And that space you're talking about between stimulus and response. I think that would sound scientific enough. Yeah, it's awesome.

I know people want that. I'm imagining you right now in like a white coat with – Yeah, everybody at home, I'm in a white coat. And I'm imagining you right now in like a white coat with. Yeah. Everybody at home. I'm in a white coat and I'm very. He actually travels with many leather bound books that he just places behind him anytime he's being interviewed. That's a good idea. The way people perceive other people is hilarious. Yeah. Well,

we just spent two weeks ago, we spent that exact conversation, like, oh, outward perception of other people and their progress and kind of how that's working. So I want to, with this idea of creating that space and gaining access to that, again, that 90% of the flow that's coming from the body, this may or may not have been something you looked into. This is me coming from MySpace, not the – The website? Yeah, not the former website. Every time. I've heard MySpace three times a day, and I'm going – What was that guy's name that started it? Tom. Tom.

I keep on seeing Tom's face in his white T-shirt. Tom was awesome. I was friends with him. Everybody's friend. Yeah. Were you guys friends with Tom? I was. Such a nerd.

So my brain takes me to essentially, I am always studying violence and how to get people through that fear perspective and how to get people to understand how to decision-making process under stress and things like that. We're talking about it right now from a knee-jerk reaction from maybe a comment or an event that happens and things. In your experience, what you've known, can you speak to on this higher level? Now, I actually find myself either currently in a violent state or trying to process something that happened to me from a personal interaction, violent, chaotic. You can even take it to like, you find yourself in a tornado earthquake, but the ability to what people would perceive, I imagine as stay cool under pressure or make decisions under pressure. Yeah. Is there a correlation in your mind between those two? And then absolutely. Yeah. So there's two things. So

I'll use the word trauma to, I'll define it. Trauma is a situation occurs and it creates a feeling in the body that in the future we're going to want to avoid. So it's a scary feeling. We don't want to feel it, but we're feeling it anyway. And then we associate it with a story, which is tied to a belief, which the belief was created before the trauma ever happened. So if we look at adult trauma, so what we'll do is something traumatic will happen. Say you're 20 years old, something traumatic will happen when

you're 20 and you will then tie it to a belief that was created before you were seven years old. And this is why anytime anyone does any trauma therapy for anything post seven years old, but it hasn't covered pre seven, they're just trimming the weeds. And so it's good, but you're not really getting to the heart of things. You're not going to actually solve the problem. And this is why I like a lot of people with PTSD with they're dealing with a situation that they think caused the PTSD. They're not actually ever going to like get all the way there. And that's why so many people end up on medication. But so the first thing is, is we've got to address the trauma that happened early in our life and the beliefs that we created based on that trauma that form our identities, going

back to identity. And so the trauma might be for a five-year-old that the toy was taken away from them. And then they created a belief based on that. And then they created a whole personality around it. And there's a story that they live into that the world works this way. So until we clean that up, then that's your baseline. So baseline for most people is a really heightened state. They're in a very sympathetic state. So any type of violent scenario that the average person is going to be presented with, they're going to flinch and they're going to freak out and they're not going to have control over what's happening because they can only make decisions based and all their behavior is going to be dictated by previous experience. And you can layer training on top of that.

And so this is what you see a lot in the military, police, a lot of self-defense like you're talking about is we layer on top of that. And if we layer enough on top of that, then that can become the automatic behavior. Right. But it's not the innate response. And this can apply to anything, not just self-defense. This can apply to just how you operate at work in stressful situations. Everyone is in stressful situations with their work, with their home life, all this stuff.

So what I like to do, the approach I like to take is, yeah, I could override and just add training on top of old trauma. But what I like to do is I like to clear old trauma first. Let's go in there and just fucking clean house. And that's what we do. I've got a five and a half day retreat. That's what we do.

We clean fucking house. And when people walk out of there, they go, holy shit, this is what a clean slate really feels like. Then we can layer on new stuff on top of that. Now that's when the breath comes in and the story work comes in. It's like, okay, now I have control over my breath. So when a stressful situation happens, because I'm living in a state

where I'm already connected to my body, my body tells me before anything ever registers in my mind that something is amiss. And so I can be with my breath and I can stay calm and process the situation appropriately instead of going with a knee jerk reaction. Additionally, because I'm not going to tie it with a previous trauma because that previous trauma I already cleared out, I have the

power to create a story based off. So I survive whatever, say it's a violent altercation. I survive that altercation. Now, because I have the awareness, I can create whatever empowering story I have off of that. This actually happened to my ex-wife this past spring. She was in Bali. She has done this work. She's helped facilitate this work. She's deep, deep in it. And she's in Bali.

She's riding her bike. And these two guys grab her purse and rip it off of her. And she falls off her bike and she gets all banged up. And she's afraid that they're going to come back and like kill her or beat her up or whatever. So she runs and screaming and all this stuff and she ends up not having much in her purse, which is fine. And she ends up finding some people that help her out and she goes and gets her bike. And then she goes back to the place she's staying and she goes home and she was riled up.

Understandably. She just got mugged in a foreign country. And by the way, she's there by herself. Not only that, but we're separated at the time. Like we're freshly separated. She, our relationship is ending.

And so she's not emotionally in like a fan, you know, as far as you, that kind of stuff goes, she's in a tough spot. So she's in this country by herself, gets mugged and she goes home and she realizes oh i could create any story i want from this and she starts journaling and writing out how blessed she is to have survived it and she talked about how she focused on the people that helped her afterwards instead of how shitty the people were that mugged her.

And she was really able to paint a picture for herself and that she was able to take care of herself. Even though she was hit with a, this type of situation, she survived and she was able to take care of her own scrapes and bruises and, and that people were there to help her. And so she was able to look through a lens that was empowering that was going to allow her to live her life fully moving forward from that

point. And the only reason she had that ability is not only did she have the skills of language on her side, but she'd already cleared the emotional trauma from her past. So she didn't have an automatic response to, fuck, my life sucks. And I believe that the world is bad. And she didn't have that. So she cleared that out already. And then she got hit with a situation, which she would have viewed through the previous lens, but now she has so much more awareness out and ability to create whatever lens she wants. And she was able to make that choice and she wrote it all out and then sent it to me and a bunch of our friends. It was really cool to watch. Yeah.

That's pretty intense. Well, it's just, it makes me look at, we've talked about this several times on the podcast up to this point, which is the importance of preemptively getting shit out anyway. Like having someone you can go to, whether professionally or anything to actually honestly get things out, even if you are not quote unquote depressed or anything to actually honestly get things out even if you are not quote unquote depressed or you're not quote unquote in a traumatic situation but the idea of getting in touch with the things that may have happened in the past and kind of getting that from a overall health standpoint yeah before it becomes a holy shit this is a fucked up situation

i got into this work because i wanted to optimize yeah i've always been obsessed with human performance in all aspects it was like how can i be the ultimate human being because why else would we be here let's do some cool shit and i grew up reading comic books and superheroes and all that shit i want access to that so of course you know like go do things like drink ayahuasca in the jungle and look under all these different like rocks and go to all these different types of trainings. And I'm like, man. And what I found is I, in all these different types of trainings and plant medicine experiences and all this, I get a lot more out of it than

I've watched other people get. And I think it's because I've taken the approach that there's nothing to fix. I'm good where I'm at. I'm looking, I'm curious. I'm like, what's there that I haven't seen yet? What do I not know yet? And so because of that, I'm coming from a humble place, curious place, and I get shown a lot. Like I'm working with the medicine. I'm working with the facilitators. I'm coachable. And what I see is when people come in to solve a problem, you know what they get? They get a solution to their problem. They're so narrowly focused on, I have a problem. There's something wrong with me. I got to fix something. And that's all they get. They get the solution to that one problem. And when I go into

something, I get a solution to a hundred problems because I'm coming in open. The two years ago, I did some training with a woman or not, who I ended up partnering with to do training camp for the soul. And she was pitching it to me. She's like, you really need to get in here. And you've got clients that have already been through this. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I know. I'll do it one day. I'm like, one day, someday, I'll do it.

And she goes, do it now. And I go, well, I'm good. I'm good. I feel good. I just got done with some other training. I'm in a good spot. She goes, this is the best time to do it. And I go, you know what?

You're right. The best time to approach this type of thing, to dig the past is when i'm in a good place because i'm going to be able to take it deeper if i thought there was something wrong it would be a shallow experience and now that i facilitate these types of experiences with people and i recognize that people are coming in are like i'm an open book i'm here to optimize i'm like oh this is gonna be fun this is gonna to be fun. This is going to be easy. And this person is going to have a really incredible experience.

And the person that's like, I'm fucked up because this thing happened to me when I was 12. I'm like, oh, God, here we go. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you have something fucked up that happened when you were 12, let's deal with it and get that out of the way and get you in a place where you can start approaching these experiences with a lot more openness. So there's nothing wrong with either one, but I want to point out that I noticed the people that get the most out of it are the ones that are coming at it from a place of I'm good and I want to optimize. Was there a point in the past where you felt like there was something wrong and did that change or? No, I always thought I was fine. Originally that was coming from a place of i don't know ego ego yeah definitely i always thought i was

like hot shit i always thought it was hot shit but i also had some humility in that i knew that there i could be better it's like oh i could be better i used to think oh other people were fucked up i got my shit together and then when I started going down the path of optimizing and I started healing from my past, I go, oh, I was fucked up. I just didn't know it. I got lucky. I got lucky in that my curiosity was born more from just trying to be the best possible versus thinking I was fucked up. But then once I realized there was fucked up things in my past, I go, okay, cool. What else? What else? What else? That's an exciting place to be because that's where we talked about when we recorded earlier, you and I about one of the

realizations I had last week. And that idea, we've talked about this on the podcast in the past, but where there was a point where I went from all of my motivation was driven by, fuck my dad, I'm going to show him up, that type mentality. Then when I made peace with that, he asked me the one day, he was like, well, so then what was your motivation after that? I had to pause and think, but I literally was like, well, there's no reason God didn't put me on earth not to do fucking incredible things, so I'm just going to go do incredible things. I kind of had that mentality. And when we were going through that realization last week, to me, that was just fascinating. It was just fun. That was like, fuck me. Like this thing's been like throttling me down for 30 odd years or so. Like this is going to be fun because the next thing is just me. I'm going to be that much fucking better going forward. I can relate to

the story you're telling. And it's a fascinating place to be. I imagine I wasn't there five years ago where I could have that type of realization and be like, oh, I was fucked up and be okay with it and then move forward. And I don't know. It's a fascinating thought concept to me. Yeah. A lot of people have the fear that they're going to lose whatever thing they're good at when they get rid of that thing that was driving them.

That insecurity is like, oh, if I lose my insecurity, then I won't be good at my thing. I'm like, well, that's insecurity driving insecurity. And so it's like, enjoy your life. So what I see happen, I've seen it happen with myself, and I see it happen with all of our clients, is when they heal from that, whatever's causing that insecurity, that actually turns into a superpower. One of the things that drove me was I had this belief from when I was four or five years old that I was stupid. And so I overcompensated. I was constantly reading. I'd turn into a nerd. I completely nerded out. And it really turned into a superpower in the way that I was extremely knowledgeable.

And people could ask me questions, and I had answers for almost everything. And it was cool and exhausting. Yeah. It was really exhausting. Because I was learning a lot of things I actually didn't care about learning. And I was trying to remember it versus just enjoying the process of learning. And so when I dropped that story and I was able to take on a new belief and a new identity around it, I noticed that my mind was so much clearer. I go, oh shit, I'm not trying to remember everything. And I'm trusting that information will arrive when it's

supposed to. And I ended up being in flow state more frequently. I became more creative. I read, I took a break from reading for about a year and then I picked it back up and now I read about the same amount as I did before, but I'm only reading shit I'm really interested in, which is usually very like philosophical and spiritual. Sometimes there's some business books in there, but yeah, I'm reading a lot of things that I would not have previously considered practical and I enjoy it more and I have no lack of access to information so I feel that my access to information is higher than ever even though I don't have the insecurity of like I'm stupid if I don't learn all this shit so there's that

so you've talked about you've mentioned flow state twice. Talk about that. Flow state. Yeah, there's being in the present moment and really catching the wave. Most people experience flow state accidentally. I can talk to people and go, when did you experience flow state? And they're like, oh man, that one time that I caught that wave or I jumped out of an airplane. People tend to, it's some extreme experience, something that forces them into the present moment. And that's a really cool thing. Having experience that forces you in a present moment where you experience flow and flow states can be access

where you're pushed to the edge of like you're pushing a little bit past your comfort but not so far that it turns into chaos and so you're performing a skill so you're just pushing just a little bit beyond comfort where you have to be extremely focused to do it right but not so far beyond that you fuck it up. And so most people attribute flow states and talk about flow states in regard to physical performance. It's really easy to see and demonstrate and feel in those environments, but also finding flow state when like right now on a podcast, as I'm talking, dropping into a flow state, dropping in a flow state when I'm working on my laptop and meetings and doing everyday things. And so what I've learned is I can access flow state throughout the day. I set up

intervals in my day and I can set myself up for flow states. So most people are accessing it on by accident. Like you do jujitsu, you've probably experienced like, what the fuck, man? I just rolled and I've completely lost track of time and everything got easy and I just fucked that guy up, right? Yes. And same with weightlifting. It's almost like you don't even realize what happened on the platform. Next thing you know, you've got that snatch overhead. What the fuck happened?

And it's the training meets that challenge. But what I've been working on is setting up my data where I'm accessing flow state. It's a practice. Getting into flow is practice, practice, practice, practice. And there's a lot of different tools you can get to practice that. But I mean, some of them being psychedelics. So just start with a bigger dose and then dial it back. Pretty soon, I just need to breathe.

I've gotten to the point where I'm like, I don't need psychedelics. I can just breathe. I can breathe a certain way and then push my energy around and like, okay, cool. That's that video of Wim Hof floating around where he's like, we are high on our own supplies. As he runs around. Dude, yeah. Yeah, it Yeah, same shit, man. I doubt. You're real quiet over there, Drew. What's your brain doing? Well, I'll tell you what, I'm still noodling on approaching growth from a point that there's nothing wrong. And it makes me think of thoughts I've had in the past, and we've talked about it

on the podcast of wanting to be better yet not letting that want to be better or trying to look for your blind spots create sure resistance in itself of now like hey you're fine just go but you're searching for this thing and even i guess the thought process there's a mantra from the strong coach program that's really stuck with me and it's, I am complete. Yeah. Right. I've actually recently adopted. By the way, that was adopted by students and created by students and it's become a thing in the culture, which I did not create. I did not create that mantra. Right. I love that. I love that that kind of stuff is emerging. Well, I did. And so I actually picked it up recently, a few weeks back, and I've been doing mantras on my morning walk.

And the reason I decided to use it, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to use that one today, was I had woke up and I didn't sleep very well and something else was off in the morning. So I get on my walk and yesterday, Mike, I was telling you, I'm getting to the point where I go to bed looking forward to the walk in the morning. It's like, oh, I get to walk in the morning. So now this has happened. I get up and I'm out the door and I'm going, but I'm frustrated. I imagine these things like, oh, well, this time's off and I kind of feel this way. And now this isn't going to be as effective. And these stories are spinning. And it made me realize it's like, I just heard a voice and it was like, you don't fucking need the perfect eight hours for things to be fine. You don't need coffee, right? Like you are

complete. Like you are complete right now. You're fine. And I was like, yeah, I'm going to use that. Yeah, I'm complete. I don't need that fucking sleep. I don't need that fucking coffee, whatever it was. Right. And I'm going and like, I felt great. And then I've just, I've just stuck with it. And it was fascinating hearing you describe that where now looking, it's not by being okay with where you are in the moment doesn't mean you're not going to find opportunities and things. And in fact, it means, I've had conversations where I've even thrown that mantra towards them. Like try saying I am complete and it looks like their body just seizes up. But even from that fact where you use the example of this thing happened to me when I'm 12, a number of these individuals, I don't think they could point to something. There's just a story of something's wrong with me. So I'm playing with that in my mind

right now. Yeah. There's a belief with most people that is if I accept myself completely for who I am, then I'll have no reason to do anything and I won't get better. Right. So I'm going to paint the picture of a paradox that people have a hard time being able to hold. All right. So paradox means that there are things that are seemingly opposing. And one is, so this specific paradox is I accept myself completely for who I am. And I am becoming something new, a vision of the future. I'm working towards something. And so it seems paradoxical in that you can't actually do them at the same time, right? Most people have a hard time. They go,

I can't accept myself completely and be working towards getting better. So we can talk about micro flow state. So I was referring to micro flow state previously. Now what we're talking about is macro flow state. So macro flow state is we're zooming out big picture on your life. And if you want to grow exponentially faster, you want to be able to shift identities quickly. If you want to be able to learn things really, really fast, coming from a place where you fully accept yourself for exactly where you are right now, seeing nothing wrong, nothing to fix. And while also becoming obsessive about getting better at this thing and unattached. So that's another thing, obsessed and unattached. These all work together.

So unattached is accepting and obsessive would be working towards something that those are more extreme versions of what I was saying previously. And that helps in these conversations at times. I would say I'm obsessed and unattached simultaneously. People go, what the fuck? So this is a paradox. And I had a coach years ago, it was about five years ago. And he was teaching me the power of holding paradox. And he goes, you can hold paradox, then you can do anything. You can, that's a superpower.

And most people can't do it. And he painted the picture. I go, you're right. I can't do that. I can't hold paradox. He goes, if you can do that, you'll be a great leader. I go, huh? So what I found myself doing is finding paradox and then switching real quick between the

two. I was like, okay, I fully accept myself. Okay. Vision of the future. And as I'm living in the vision of the future, I'm like, fuck me. I'm not good. And then I'm like fully accepting myself. I'm like, I ain't doing shit today. I'm just going to lay around. And then it's like swinging back and forth. And honestly, I, I'm not really sure what really put me in a place where maybe it was the switching back and forth a lot. Definitely the stuff I did with a knot helped me out in that realm. And I'll tell you why.

And I'll explain why, how this works. So like the accepting where you are and then having a vision of your future. So think about your parents, right? Your mom and your dad. So out of your parents, which parent is going? And this is just generally speaking this isn't always true the roles can be switched but which parent is usually like i love you no matter what you're good just the way you are who is that mother it's your mom it's the maternal it's the feminine

and that energy carries with it the fully accepting just the way you are and who's the person is always pushing you like, oh, you can do better. It's fucking dad. And so that's that paternal masculine energy of always getting better. And so what we learn from our parents is usually a fucked up version of mom and dad, like of the masculine feminine. And it's like, I'm never really able to fully accept myself and I'm never good enough. And the reasons I'm trying to get better are born out of insecurities. It's like all this, it's just riddled with all sorts of problems. And this is how most people are living their lives. So that's why a lot of the work that we do, well, when we do a training

camp for the soul is we focus on how you relate to yourself, which is indicated by the relationship with your mother and how you viewed your mother and what you learned from her and the energy. And then we get complete with mother. So we get to where we can fully accept ourselves 100%. And then we go into father energy, which is more of how we relate to the world. But that energy is also the thing that creates purpose and drive forward. And so if you get to a place where I used to talk about it, like healing from these things and I, that still slips in, but I adopted more of the language around unlearning and learning because it's really learned behavior. It's not necessarily a wound because wounds indicate that, that really, and words are important as we've been talking

about wounds indicate that there's something wrong, there's something broken. It's really not anything broken, it's just a learning. It's like I learned to be this way. If you can learn it, you can unlearn it. There are things that we've learned energetically that we can unlearn, and we can learn things energetically. It's one of those things where it's almost we do put words to them, but the words really fail what's really happening inside.

And so when we get to a place where we can be whole and complete with the feminine and whole and complete with the masculine inside of ourselves, then we can approach the world from a place of, yeah, I fully accept myself and I'm getting better all the time. And then it's possible to hold paradox. Nice. Do you imagine that some of that comes back from earlier on? You were talking about identity specifically about the ability to carry two identities at once or three identities at once. Is there anything like, you know what I mean? Like, can you have the identity that you're completely accepting of yourself and then also be holding the identity that you want to move forward? Or do you think those are two separate things? I think those are different. For me right now, ask me in a year, I might have realized that everything is connected

to everything. Yeah. So I just don't know what that is right now. And yeah, in a year, I might change my mind. That's a good answer. Yeah. That's really good. Look at how he handled that question.

Right? The paradox of that question. Chelsea, you're failing. You're failing. You're supposed to only let me have one of these. Well, technically, hold on. Technically, wasn't it just one white claw? Yeah, it was just one white claw.

Words matter, Mike. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Although we did fail earlier because he was only supposed to have one cookie. Don't tell anybody. Yeah, nobody will know as we record it.

All of a sudden we have to edit out these parts. That's right. You have my lawyer right, you guys. The same lawyer. I don't do any unhealthy behavior. Jesus. I was going to say the one that the cat sent an email to earlier. Yeah, my cat.

Mike's all of a sudden got a cat now. Yeah. Anytime you come and visit the Dillon household, you end up wanting a cat. That's true. You get a cat. We give you a cat. You get to take it home. Drew and Chelsea's cat was writing an email to my lawyer this morning on my laptop.

Oh, man. So you've mentioned breath a couple of different times. And I know that you and Mark England talked about this a lot at the time of this recording, at least, on a most recent episode of the Blood So Show where you and him were talking about a lot of that stuff. Talk about the importance of breathing as you're making your way through some of this story work. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So story and breath are a cycle. And so what we have is the story is, is a series of words that run through our head. This is the mind. The mind speaks in words and our thoughts are made up of words. And so we're having these thoughts and then the body speaks in feelings and the feelings are made up of words. And so we're having these thoughts and then the

body speaks in feelings and the feelings feed the thoughts and thoughts feed the feelings and all this stuff. And so we can down regulate the body and we can take control of the feelings. So we could either try to, you can take control of thoughts too. You can force your thoughts. And a lot of people, they're very terrible at that. They go, I can't stop. I meditate and I can't stop the thinking. I go, well, you're not going to stop the thinking. Your awareness has to go somewhere, but most people's awareness is stuck in their head. So they're like trying to stop something. Your awareness is on it.

So it's going to keep going. So the only way to stop thinking is to put your awareness in your body. And so that's not a complete truth, but for people who are having a hard, if they're in the place where thinking, stopping their thoughts is where they're at, then that the next step is their body. So put your attention in your body. And the easiest place you can put your attention is your breath. Oh, I'm breathing because it's something that is your autonomic system can do do and you can take control over yourself. So control your breath first and slow it down.

And when you slow down your breath, your body slows down. And then your thoughts slow down. And everything slows down that you can see it. This is why journaling is important because when you write it down, it slows it down too. But when you slow down the breath slows it down too but when you slow down the breath and you down regulate what you do is you stop feeding the story so shortness of breath feeds the story but we slow down the breath the story slows down and we can ask ourselves is this true and usually the answer is no i'm full of shit so at least the word the answer is, no, I'm full of shit. So at least the word, the mind is full of shit.

It's not who you are. The mind is just a thing. No, we're all full of shit. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's, oh, this is actually not true. This is my imagination. And one of the things that I do teach is that I teach people to stop using the word think, believe, or I feel like.

Because people usually, what follows I feel like because people usually what follows i feel like is actually a story i.e your imagination and so i think i believe i feel like those are your imagination i like the word imagination because when we think about imagination we think about fantasy and we think about disney cartoons and this and that it's imaginations like it's not real it's like right everything happening in your all those thoughts they're not real none of them so you could say they're more or less accurate but they're not the truth and so there's another distinction i bring into the program which is let's really find accuracy. You're never going to find truth. The only truth is that there is none.

And so everything else is your perception and your imagination. And so we can get into that space only if we have breath first. And this is why every philosophical, spiritual teacher on the planet will tell you to focus on your breath. Because if you don't have that, you have nothing. Yeah. That's, yeah. philosophical spiritual teacher on the planet will tell you to focus on your breath because if you don't have that you have nothing yeah that's yeah i just like i don't know just that thought like it really if you don't have i mean anything i've taught in the last god knows how long in some form or fashion i think even even before i really understood the importance of

breath in some form or fashion, found itself back to breath. Yeah. You know what I mean? And we discussed this last week when we were recording about breathing and how at some point in time we're introduced to the concept of the importance of it somewhere. And it tended to be more, I think we both agreed, it tended to be more from a physical standpoint,

like this is when you take your breath when you're about to do a back squat this is when you take your breath or how you exhale when you throw a punch and all that types it was very physical power output all that type stuff there was an importance there however it was it was more physical than anything yeah there was this reminds me of a story or yeah i guess it's a story something happened in my life and there was this woman and she reached out to me and she wanted to write a book on consciousness with me. She goes, I think you should have a book on consciousness. I want to help you write it. I'm a PhD in the field and I don't want to put my name on it. I want to be able to make it because if I put my

name on it, it might ruin my reputation in academia because she wanted to include things like psychedelics in the conversation. I thought, well, this is really strange. I don't know how I feel about this. Why don't you come out and visit me and we'll talk about it and we'll just see how it goes. We'll see if there's chemistry, all that kind of stuff. She comes out to visit and I realized that her conversation around consciousness and my conversation around consciousness were completely different.

She was approaching it more like, well, you're unconscious, you're asleep. And if you're conscious, you're awake. I go, oh, shit. There's, like, way more levels here. Yeah. And it was just, like, enlightening. I go, okay. And this is the same thing with breath.

It's like, yeah, it's important to, like, valsalva before you do a squat maybe um debatable so there's like so many people are listening right now that were like yeah and then you went there and you went oh Oh, depending on how you ask. Yeah. So, yeah, it's like, I mean, breathing mechanics is also important. Everything that's happening in your mental state and your emotional state is impacting your physical state. So breath being tied to story, which stories are tied to your emotional state, yada, yada, yada.

Next thing you know, if your story's fucked up, your breathing's fucked up, which means that now your back hurts. And it's like, oh, why does your lower back hurt? It's like, oh, well, we can tie some bands around you, and we can make it where you squat again better today, but you're going to have to tie more bands around you. By the way, here's this lacrosse ball. But your breathing's fucked up. Let's fix your breathing.

Okay, let's work on breathing mechanics, breathing mechanics, breathing mechanics. Wow, I'm working on my breathing mechanics a lot, it's doesn't seem like it's getting much better. It doesn't feel like it's getting much better. It is getting better, but not like I really want. Oh, okay. So why don't we deal with that emotional shit that you're avoiding? And the emotional shit is a feeling in your body that you're avoiding and you're avoiding a part of your body. Maybe you can't breathe into that part of your body. You don't have access to it. Your nervous system is shutting down around that part of your body.

Oh, I'm actually I've now dealt with the emotional thing. I have access to that part of my body. My nervous system is comfortable going to that part of my body again. I can breathe there. Oh, my back feels better. Interesting. Yeah. One of the quotes that you said on when you and Mark were talking about breathing was, yeah, man, I just got a bad shoulder.

And you're like, nah, man, you got a fucked up story. Yeah, yeah. And I carried that into the very next. I was on my way home. I carried that into the very next training session. I think I had one of our startup personal training sessions. And I was like, bro, let's talk about your story and why to get it to be quiet is to put your body at 11. These are the same athletes that need the load. They need the exhaustion.

They need to hurt at the end. Because if not, now the story gets even more fucked up that they didn't do enough work. And it's such a circle. They find just a moment, just a small moment of peace. That's what it is. I'm looking for peace. And I can only find peace when I'm about

to explode under the bar, or I can only find peace on the 34th mile of this ultra marathon. That's fascinating. When I push myself so hard that nothing's left. That is fascinating. I've never... Yeah.

It's not too often Aaron gets silent. It's funny because people use these really extreme physical tests to find peace and the release of anandamide which is very similar to thc and they're seeking these things out and then if you present the idea that hey by the way you could find peace without this, they're like, well, then what would happen to my fitness? You know, maybe when I just let myself go. And I'm like, bullshit.

Like, I let those stories go, and I'm in the best shape of my life. Amen. Yep. Because I love my body so much that I'm listening to it. I go, this is what my body wants. My body wants to move. My body wants to do this. I still run Spartan races.

Two weeks ago, I was the coldest I've been in 15 years, and I fucking loved it. I had a great time. But it wasn't coming from a place that I wasn't good enough. It was more of a, yeah, I can be with this pain, and this pain is teaching me, and this is really good for me, and that I'm getting stronger through this pain. Not like, fuck them. I'll show them I can do anything. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Michelle and I were just talking about this, but there was some point in time, there was a shift where I realized I cared more. And I was also, at least at the time, what I identified as a better coach than an athlete. And I enjoyed coaching more than I enjoyed competing. And it was in the earlier days of CrossFit. I had, we had taken a team to like regionals when it first started. So it was like, we took a team and it was like, it was the first time they did teams, man, like calm down. However, we, uh, at some point in time I made that shift and I went

in. So I've always used my body as kind of like an experiment. And most recently I've just, again, trickling down information that you guys were putting into him. And then he was trickling down to me. I, so I started committing training sessions to just playing around, like rediscovering peg boards. And they had the maces back from the summit. And I had done a little bit of kettlebell juggling five or six years ago and started playing around with that stuff again and having a, like a blast with it. I took my training down from five days a week where I was, I legitimately had the story that if I wasn't training five days a week, I wasn't going to reach. It wasn't even a matter of you're recovering or not recovering. It was in my mind, I had to train five days. So I've dropped down to four days of training comfortably. I play in most of my

sessions. And then I identified some things that food sensitivity tests we were talking about in there. However, inside of that, in the last however many months, everybody's like, man, you're looking real good. What are you doing? You've been training more? You've been working out more? You like lifting heavy? Like, no, I really just been like fucking around with maces and kettlebells and like rolling a little bit and yeah oh i'm sleeping and actually enjoying life and still enjoying the way i eat and just cut out some shit that was actually like legitimately

physiologically poisonous for my body like and they're like so and i'm like yeah yeah i achieve more by doing less strange right yeah yeah just. Every ancient text has been telling us that, and we're like, fuck you. What do you know? You didn't have an apple. How many days should I train? Let me Google that. Oh, yeah. So let's do this.

What's the most, because he asked me this. What is the, or something similar to it but in the strong coach program yeah as you've been going through it and you're now in the mastermind section and what has been the most impact like where do you have the most clarity as drew going through this process in is that a fair translation of the one month question you gave me earlier. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. In this moment, it is that space between stimulus and response, 10Xing. Yeah. It's fascinating.

It feels like time slows down. I'll be in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden I'll just notice my chest is getting tight. And now I go to my breathing. And then it's like, I'm breathing into my chest and I'm still listening to what the person's saying. And whatever it And then it's like, I'm breathing into my chest and I'm still listening to what the person's saying. And whatever it is, it's like, okay, they're saying

this, what happened there? And if it's a lot, like something I want to unpack, it's no decisions made. Like, can I get back to you on this? And then it's like, okay, now I can explore it. Or in that moment, it's like, huh, I think I wanted to switch to comparison. Like, okay, hold on, take a breath. With some of the story work we've done, it's like huh i think i wanted to switch comparison like okay hold on take a breath with some of the story work we've done it's like all right that's fucking enrique like you know and then it gets even deeper of like i think mark england said it the light and the dark or your children be a good parent it's like oh there's enrique it's like enrique go out back and play bud you know like dad's trying to do some shit here yeah but like there's that and it's funny because I was telling Mike and Aaron I mean

actually you were in my mind when I was telling Mike but how much more I've been talking about feelings and trying to translate that to words and it was your face that I was telling Mike I go people are looking at me like what are you talking about and it it was your face that I was telling Mike, I go, people are looking at me like, what are you talking about? And it's like your face that I see, because it'll be on the podcast. And Aaron's just staring across at me. And I like in my mind, I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm trying to tell him about a feeling. I can vividly remember, I imagine it's the same one, but it was the first time you said space and you were trying to define it and i literally was like i kind of did this like for those of you that can't obviously see i had like cockeyed turn i was like huh tell me more like what the fuck is that and he was just

like well and then he like kind of went in and i'm not being a dick i'm literally trying to understand this in this moment i I get it. Yeah. I imagine you've run into, well, I know for a fact because we've talked about this, but when we're exploring some of these things with athletes and you say, today was a prime example. I went on a walk with one of my athletes to unpack some things that was going on there. And I said, hey, this thing happened. How did you feel? And she goes, well, I wanted A, B, and C to do this. And I said, okay, let's separate the two. But just the idea of being in tune with sensations of the body and feelings is –

Foreign. Yeah. Extremely foreign. Yeah, and from personal experience. We're talking about athletes here. Yeah. The whole point is to tune the human body. Yeah.

You're tuning your body to perform, and we're treating it like it's a machine that we're dominating when it's really a concert. It's an orchestra. And there's going back and forth, and it all has to work together. There's that space that's been in 10X, right? But now, my mind right now is going, okay, I think this is the seed that's growing out in other ways. So, I just recently spoke at the NSCA Ohio State Conference, right? And it was cool, right? Well, heading into it, I just yesterday, yesterday, Saturday, yesterday grabbed coffee with a good friend of mine who's a strength coach up at the University of Michigan.

And, like, she'll check in, like, what's going on? She's been watching me go through this, right? She knew I was talking at the NSCA. And I go, I was not nervous for this talk. And she's like, really? You know, and I go, it was the best talk, it's best clinic presentation I've ever done. Like, there was flow state. Like, and was there some angst at times? Sure. Like it wasn't like perfect, but no, there was not the destroying myself over nervous week before. Oh my, none of those things. And the thing that popped in my mind was, do I not care? Right. And now comes in like the story work, the language work, right? And then it hit me. It goes, why do you need to suffer to show that you care? The language has

now changed it. And my friend looked at me and she goes, that's what I was going to say. Like, did you not care? And then I said, the second part, I go, why do we have to suffer to care? And then I said something Mark England had said, think about with your parents, how often they show love by worry, right? I'm so worried about you. You know, and I said that to her and she literally just was like, you just see the wheels turning. So like, there's moments like that where it's like, okay, the space is changing, right? These things are going on, but here's a seed where I just flowed. And it was just so fascinating how I interacted with people in a way that I know is different. That's beautiful. That's amazeballs.

Yeah, that's neat. I'm excited for that. Again, Michelle and I had a really good conversation yesterday. And this brings back to something you had mentioned earlier that I wanted to touch upon where you said it was whatever, five years ago ago you pictured yourself as an adult for the first time or something like that. It might not have been on this podcast. At some point in time, we talked about this. I would say it was maybe five years ago. I feel as though my story is that I really didn't start.

I was acting like a child until recently. Being an adult is taking responsibility for every part of my life yeah yeah well it was as you were telling that i mean again you go back to imagination and perception and stuff like that when you were talking about that it brought me to a story that i was just telling her yesterday which was and it's hearing that line is different now however i have always pictured myself like never above the age of 18 in the eyes of others and kind of this idea where i'm not old enough experienced enough whatever to garner respect in some form or fashion yeah and i am a very very

talented instructor i'm very charismatic and i am a nerd, very talented instructor. I'm very charismatic. And I am a nerd about information. You were talking about like being a geek and kind of like diving into books and things like that. I am. And I highly, highly rely and in the situations where I'm uncomfortable on my charisma in front of the group and the amount of knowledge I possess that I imagine they don't have. And it's funny to hear you talk specifically about like, man, you know, this is the first time I wasn't nervous going into it and just the way that I was able to approach it.

I know I make a positive impact every single seminar I do. However, there is a constant internal battle about, I need to say this next thing or else maybe they won't believe me. I need to say this next thing or else maybe they won't believe me. And it's this constant, which we talk about even just on ramping brand new instructors, which is like the people listening need to know this much, you know, this much, they need this much. Right. And you guys talk about the minimum effective dose. People only hear 10% of what you're saying. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, if you're lucky. And it's funny because as you talk about that, I'm excited going through the program because I imagine that this is going to be unpacked in some form.

And it's exciting to me to think that I already know that the seminars that go out, that people are leaving with value. However, you talk about optimization, the ability for me to remove that internal struggle so that I can just get shit done and say the things that need to get done and be comfortable in'll be able to do for other people, which we've already talked about. The overarching passion for me has always been this help people with self-defense, self-protection, and the community and the aspects of that. It's a fascinating thought because I have that every seminar I go into, if you watched a video of it or even a speaking engagement, people would probably be like, man, that was awesome. You were on your point and blah, blah, blah, whatever. And I'll tell tell you right now until i walk up and get in front of the microphone i'm nervous as shit and nobody's gonna respect me and what am i wearing and all that kind of shit and i have all of these things going up to it it's just a fascinating thought storyline wise come to a training camp i am looking at it yeah not looking at it. It will happen. All those stories.

We're going to fuck that shit up. Here's a question. Would you recommend friends or couples to go to training camp at the same time or separate? If they're good, yes. If there's quarrel, no. Gotcha. Yeah. I've done both.

We've had meetings about this. And we go, okay, the worst scenario is somebody going for their partner. I'm going for the relationship. And I was like, no, you got to go for your fucking self. Yeah. Because it's a fight. It's no joke. And I say that because if someone comes in thinking it's going to be easy and fun then they're going to get fucked up and there's a lot of resistance i would rather people just

know what they're getting themselves into and just say hey you're going to be the most uncomfortable you've ever been and guess what you're going to live and when you come out the other side it's going to be the best thing you ever did. I'll fucking give you money back if it's not the best thing you ever did. If you really play all out. I can't imagine because I went through and I checked out the whole entire thing after he fucking came back from the summit. That was the same exact day that I booked fucking core language upgrade and everything. I was like, this shit's already legit.

I know I'm doing strong coach. I might as well fucking look into all these other things. At what point in time reading the promotions for training camp for the soul has, is somebody really looking at it and being like, this is just going to be fun. Like I looked at it, I looked at it and was like, fuck me. I mean, I got shit to unpack. I need to go to this shit. And I'm going like, well, I told him we were joking, like not joke. We were talking about like the idea of psychedelics and some other things that,

and I was like, I'm going to need a handler because there is shit to unpack. Like, yeah, my, I tell people, people come to me about psychedelics all the time. And I say training camp for the soul is the prerequisite to psychedelics because psychedelics is like rocket fuel.

Yeah. And you want to make sure that rockets point in the right direction. And that's what we do to make sure that rocket's pointed in the right direction. And that's what we do is we make sure you're pointed in the right direction. You make sure you're pointed in the right direction. Because we're there just to guide you to where you, your heart really wants to go. Yeah. So the core thing that happens there is you learn how to follow your heart. You get in tune with it.

You understand how it talks to you. And then you get the courage. It's all about courage. And because it requires such a high amount of courage, it's scary. There's a lot of, you get tested. And we talk to parts of you that aren't really you, that you think is you. And there's a battle for identity and we break it down in a way that is i'm unable to discuss on a podcast just because it there's a reason it's five and a half days i know the next

one's coming up right a couple weeks yeah a few weeks two weeks something like that how often are you guys doing that we shoot for six a year six a year so about every two months yeah noted yeah i'll be there yeah i know i will it's just a matter of i'm still viewing it as like okay i did core language upgrade i digested that i'm doing strong coach i'm digesting that you'll do well yeah here's the thing is everyone who's most people haven't well not most half the people that come in haven't done anything. They've had a family member or they've had a friend who did it and they saw a change in them. They go, what did you do?

And then they show up and it's their first exposure to any of these concepts. And it's a steep curve. The fact that you've done it lifted, strong coach, vocabulary, you'll have an easier time. So all you'll have to pull on is courage. You won't have to do as much learning the dynamics of the mind, like how the mind works. You've got the basics of how the mind works already. So now we've got to teach you the heart.

Yeah. But most people like they have to be able to come through. It's like, all right, we got to teach you how the mind works so that we can bypass the mind and get you to talk to your heart. Now, when you were asking about couples, were you referring to you and i or you and chelsea um can i say both from chelsea over there can i say both so this this is this is this is funny because uh mark england gave us some homework and he was like go on a walk i want you to like get a number one and then like a number two if they're not able.

And I was like, hey, who's your number one? And she's like, well, you. And I go, oh yeah, you're mine too. I said, who's your number two? She's like, I don't have one. I was like, I have Aaron. I've had, Kim will always tell people, I've had a, it's a short amount, but I've had a series of what she considers my boyfriends over time.

And. And. Yeah, your serial monogamous. And Drew, Drew in Chelsea's mind has become, or not in Chelsea's mind, in Kim's mind has become like, okay, now he's like your steady husband. And now, these other two that you're like super bro with is like who you cheat on Drew with. Your side piece. This entire love

square, I assume, that my wife's looking at it, has nothing to do with our relationship in any way, shape. It's just the way it is. There's a book you should read. It's called Opening Up. Opening Up? Yeah, check it out. Adding that to my list of three books that you've already done.

Yeah, make that the last one. Noted. Only if you want to make your relationship more challenging. Just read that one. I like it. Man, anything else? else that's awesome i feel like we could unpack literally everything for hours however this is just fascinating i love this well thanks for coming on man thank you for having me thanks for being here in general this has been a blast so

far today so they ask yeah all right guys i know something landed for you. I'm not even going to say. So the shit that landed for you on this podcast, all we ask is share it with one friend. Just one. That's it. That's it. I like that. Share with one friend. Ooh, that's it. I know something. Simple. That's it. Simple. One friend. All right, guys. Well, thank you for listening in. Check out what I was going to say. Everything. The Bledsoe show, guys. Well, thank you for listening in. Check out everything. I was going to say everything. The Bledsoe Show. The Strong Coach. The Training Camp for the Soul. Training Camp for the Soul.

Yeah. And Lifted. And The Unlifted. And Procabulary. And Procabulary. Yeah. Check it all out. Wow, there's a lot there.

You'd think I'd choose Elaine at some point. Check all that stuff out. Obviously, I mean, it's been 16 weeks of us talking about it pretty much nonstop at this point, and that's not going to stop anytime soon. So if you want to dive into it yourself and explore that stuff a lot more, check that out. Otherwise, we'll see you guys next week. Oh, we know you love the show. So go over to strongcoachpodcast.com to subscribe to the channel today. There's a lot more shows over

there than what you can hear right here. And you also get that coaching business tune up over there as well. So go check that out. Give us a follow on Instagram. Give me a shout out, shoot me a DM. We'll have a conversation. Talk to you next week.