Barbell Shrugged - Real Chalk  — Orthorexia & Fitness Addiction w/ Erin Monson  — 38

Episode Date: August 28, 2018

Erin Monson is one of my in-house coaches at CHALK in Orange County California. She is an amazing athlete and a true specimen to look at it. In fact, I don’t think I have ever seen a single person in my life walk by her and not either stare or take a double take. She’s a beautiful woman no doubt and her body is one of a kind. However, beneath the surface is an addiction. Since I have met Erin, she has continually become more and more strict on her eating consumption, workout schedule, sleep schedule, and her availability of free time. To the point where several people have reached out in concern including her family.   Although she admits that this is something that has gone on for years, this is the first time in her life where she willingly admits it and is starting to take the necessary steps to become, “normal.”   In this episode, I have the pleasure of being able to talk to her about her problems for the first time and actually hear her side of everything. The effect it has had on her social life, relationships, family, and her own body. We dive into what orthorexia is and how popular it actually is in our space. As well as fitness addiction and the toll it can take on your body, especially a female.   Enjoy! - Ryan ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/rc_monson ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please Support our Sponsor Use code  REALCHALK for 20% off at organifishop.com   ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/ barbellshruggedpodcast TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

All right, Chalk Nation, real chalk listeners, I'm coming at you with episode number 38. I have Erin Monson. She's a coach at my gym. She also happens to be going through something pretty interesting. I'm going to classify it as something called orthorexia, which is an obsession with eating healthy foods, and you start to cut certain things out, and then it just kind of the list goes on and on. It's not exactly like anorexia, but it has kind of the same feel to it, and she also has just a

straight-up fitness addiction, so I think a lot of us know people who, you know, you have to get that workout in, and it starts to, you know, weigh you down in your social life, weigh you down in other ways in your life, relationships, this and that. We're going to get into all those things with Erin. And I'm really excited because I never really get to talk to her about these things really ever. It's something that she doesn't really like to talk about. Obviously, it's a touchy subject. So we get to sit down, we get to talk about it. And we have a great conversation. And I think it's going to be good for some of you out there who maybe are on this track or maybe you know someone who's on this track. And I think what's great about this episode also is that Erin is doing this for the first time,

not only with me but for other people as well, and she's at a vulnerable state, and she's just started to kind of get on the road back to being normal. And I'll put normal in quotations. She does it during the podcast and then also let's define what normal is, right? So I hope you guys really, really liked this episode. It is a one of a kind. It is a therapy session, really.

I think it's gonna be a great lesson. It's gonna be very educational for you guys. And for the ladies out there, it is hands down probably the best episode I've done for the girls. So without any further ado, here we go. Before we listen to this week's episode, I do want to bring up a couple of my favorite people on Earth right now. Organifi being one of those people. They are hooking me up with the greens and the golds and the reds and all these amazing supplements that put things in my diet that I don't normally eat. Depending on how long you've known me for as an athlete and how long you guys have followed me,

you've probably heard that I ate just ground beef pretty much every single day, three pounds a day, pretty much every day for a year. So I wasn't really getting a lot of greens in, and I definitely could have used this Organifi supplement during that time. I've never really been a big fan of eating greens. So even to this day, like, I get them, but it's, like, I have to be at Whole Foods, like, at a bar, like, one of those, you know, hot food bars just to really get the greens. Otherwise, I don't really buy them. They have to be, like Foods, at a bar, one of those hot food bars, just to really get the greens. Otherwise, I don't really buy them.

They have to be staring me in the face. Now, I just open the fridge in the morning when I drink a glass of water or take some of my supplements that I take when I wake up. It's just in the fridge waiting for me, and I get my greens in right away. The only other way to really get greens in is to get one of those juices from one of those insanely overpriced places where you buy juices, which wind up being, I don't know, like $10 or more. And if you use Organifi, it's about $2 a serving and you're getting better vegetables at a better quality. And it's not only just vegetables, they have protein powders, plant-based protein powders, and a bunch of other things that really go well with your diet that you wouldn't really normally put in, or at least even in the amounts that you actually need to make a difference

without the supplement. It actually tastes insanely good as well. So I sometimes I just drink them just because I really want to add some extra flavor to my water. So the Organifi is something that I use every single day. And if you guys even follow me on Instagram, you will see me post regularly about my Organifi beverages. If you guys are interested in getting any Organifi, you can go to Organifi shop.com. And that's Organifi with an I. So it's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I shop.com. Use the code REALCHALK in all capital letters and get 20% off. Also, our other sponsor for the show is Unbroken Designs. If you guys have ever seen me work out in those really cool weight vests, they have like American flags on them, or it just says Unbroken Designs on the vest.

It's my favorite vest of all time as far as the comfort goes. I have a 511 vest that I got from CrossFit Regionals last year. And I have my Unbroken Designs vest and my 511 vest just like sitting in the gym on a like rack that people can use whenever they want. I have a bunch of vests on there. And the Unbroken Design vest is for sure the first one that people pick up just because of the comfort. It's like neoprene. And when you put it on, no matter how tight you put it on, how much you're moving, it just feels pretty comfortable. Whereas the 511 vest, it does have a good comfort factor, but it's rigid. And certain things that you're doing, it will kind of hurt a little bit.

I mean, it is a military vest and everyone's using the military style vest for CrossFit. And it's just, you know, it's just not as rad as the Unbroken Designs one. Not only that, Unbroken Designs makes knee sleeves, elbow sleeves, all the sleeves, all the warming up things that you need to get ready to do your workouts as far as the sleeves go. And then they also have jewelry and stuff for girls and different clothes. They even have singlets actually for guys if you want to weight lift and have a really cool singlet.

But their stuff is really, really cool. I actually know the owner, Jen, and she's really rad. She goes to all the events. She sponsors a lot of the top athletes. You'll see them pretty much everywhere. cool. I actually know the owner, Jen, and she's really rad. She goes to all the events. She sponsors a lot of the top athletes. You'll see them pretty much everywhere. Unbroken Designs is not a new name in the game. And I really, really hope that you guys try out one of their vests one of these days. If you go to their website, unbrokendesigns.com, just the way it sounds, type in SHRUGGED10, all capital letters, and you'll get 10% off everything

on their site, not just the vest, but I do highly recommend the vest. All right, let's get after it. All right, everybody. I am sitting down with not only a great friend, but also an employee of CrossFit Chalk. She's been there for how long? Two years. Two years. Two years. Exactly, August. And this is like a very interesting podcast that we're going to have right now because we're going to talk about fitness addiction and food addiction but what's great about this podcast is Erin is going through this as we speak. So this is a great time to get someone at a vulnerable state and hear their questions and hear their story, which I think is really, really impressive as she's here. And I think that if you guys were in person, that you guys should just be clapping right

now because it's that kind of a moment. Very vulnerable. Something I'm not good at. So this is a great topic, I think, because there's a lot of people right now out there, especially listening to this podcast, where fitness is your life, and that's fine. But there's a fine line of how much fitness should your life actually be? And what are the fine lines that define whether you have an addiction or not? Because a lot of people think that they don't. I'm sure Aaron was one of them for a really long time. Myself and other people have always made comments and it's in one ear out the other for people who are in these places. So we're going

to talk about the food side of things, the fitness side of things, what are some of the signs, what are some of the recovery steps, and then just how it affects your life and how it affects others as well. So let's go into the quick little background about this real quick. So exercise addiction appears in about 0.3 to 0.5% of the general population. So that's a very small amount. However, there's a very small amount of the population listening to this podcast right now, and they're very, very fitness oriented. Usually, fitness addiction usually coincides with something like orthorexia, which you may have never heard of, but it's basically an obsession with eating foods that one considers to be healthy, which you may have never heard of, but it's basically an obsession with eating foods that one considers to be healthy, but you're like super, super into it,

which is probably like a lot of us on this show. I've definitely been there myself and I'm probably currently still there in some aspect. And anorexia does pop up. That is definitely not Erin's problem at the moment, but it does happen for some other people. Not even close. All right. So let's start to get into this right now. And let's start to talk about probably how do you think that this all started for you? I think that would probably be the first question for most people.

Because I think they want to be part of this right now. They want to see where they're at. So I want you to think back and think about when this first started. So I've thought about this before, and it's really hard to pinpoint when it started because at such a young age, I was so intrigued with fitness, and I played sports starting when I was five years old, I played tennis in college. And so I was very consumed from a young age into fitness and food and body image and just looking, feeling my best and being the best athlete that I could be.

So when I look back and try to figure out when this whole thing really became a problem, um, I think it's just a, uh, an effect from being young and just getting so consumed when I was in high school with, um, running all the time and going to practice and just slowly, little by little, like it wasn't a problem then, but as I... How long was practice though? Because you played tennis. Yeah. I played tennis every single day. I would go... Four? How long? Probably two to three hours on average. And then how long was the run? And that's like, like those were just random things. Like I just loved, like when I was little, I made my own little workout program in my home gym. Like lap pull downs and abs.

And I was probably like 11 when I did that. And I had a whole workout plan that I would do when I would get home from school. And then like I didn't always want to or I didn't when I would get home from school. And then like, I didn't always want to, or I didn't always want to go to tennis practice or to do these things, but it was just something that was a huge part of my life from such a young age. And so I think being exposed to that when I was younger and just having my type of personality that I think I've always been very all or nothing in everything I do. That's just been a constant theme throughout my life. So I, so I picked up on that when I was young and then it just kept getting worse and worse and worse the older I got and little by little without even

realizing like it wasn't a problem then and maybe it became a little bit more of a problem as time went on but now it's like been the biggest problem that it's ever been and it's just from that little by little throughout my whole life just getting worse and worse and worse well your whole family is in great shape and I've had the pleasure of meeting all of them including your mom and I remember you saying things like your mom would be driving you to school and you'd be in the back seat like man my mom's arms look so good like I just want those like so bad yeah so do you think that your mom ever had something like this going on was she ever like um really no that's the thing I look at my mom and even now she's just so normal

with it like now for sure but then like she wasn't even growing up like her mom just they ate a lot they're an Italian family like my mom is in better shape now than she ever has been so it wasn't a big part of her life yeah she didn't grow up like she was always active and stuff but she wasn't all um into fitness and sports growing up it was just something like even when she got married um she's in way better shape than she was then she just didn't really work out that much yeah and so super babe for those of you who can't see her super babe she is amazing and does kipping pull-ups better than probably your best friend but but yeah so it wasn't a problem for her at all and even now talking to her about, it's hard for her to even relate

because she's so normal with her food and fitness routine. It's just, and I hate saying the word normal, but that's the only way I can describe it when I think of. Because she's average. Yeah, she's just, it's not in her head. She just does things in a normal way. Like she just wakes up, goes to the gym for an hour, and then leaves. And that's it, you know.

She just eats healthy. She's very conscious of what she eats but she still eats what she wants sometimes and it doesn't affect her you know so the difference between someone like that and the difference between someone like you or someone who has the addiction is they start to have those withdrawal symptoms that create like agitation anxiety or even restlessness which i've seen all of the above in you as well and uh i can say at least a hundred times i've heard you say like fomo like fear of missing out of everybody who's doing sled sprints or doing this or doing that i get it so your eyes are lighting up as we speak you're like oh i can't leave the gym if certain people show up right as i'm leaving and it's really hard to see. And like when I'm done working out, I'm like, I'm done. I don't care what you guys do.

Yeah, it's it's totally. And I mean, I feel that I feel that way, too. I don't feel that way all of the time, but it's definitely an obsession. Yeah. So what were some of the signs recently that let you know that it was time to start to put this down? I've driven so many people absolutely crazy for the last 10 years because it's not a new problem in my life. And a lot of coaches, even my college tennis coach, had to pull me into his office once because he was concerned. And that was 10 years ago. And then coaches I've had since then just throughout CrossFit and just trainers that I've been around.

It's just been a constant theme that they're telling me to stop doing so much. Stop, stop, stop. I've never seen anyone work out as much as you in my whole life. And I've met multiple CrossFit Games athletes. I've gone to regionals seven times, almost went to the games multiple times. You work out way more than me. We have a current CrossFit Games athlete staying at my house right now, and she's even like, wow wow she works out a lot um so yeah it's it's I've always

been a very slow developer a slow learner I do things at my own pace which is just very frustrating for people who are close to me um so it's been I've been told over and over for the last 10 years, um, to stop, calm down, quit working out so much. And what triggered, um, this recent change that I'm really trying to make and going through the process of right now is, um, I can't really explain why it finally hit me the way that it did. But after about a year of serious research, I've been listening to every podcast I can. I've been reading so many books for the last year or so about this topic and knowing that it was a problem and finally realizing that, okay, this is obviously a problem. It's affecting my life in so many ways. It didn't change right away, because I've known that for a while now. And so, but it was trying to figure out what I could do to change. And that sounds so silly to some people. But for, for me, it has been very, very difficult to make the change. Um,

because it was so much a part of who I am. And I think getting to the core of why I feel like I need to work out so much, why I enjoy working out so much, why I eat the food that I eat and really digging deep into what is motivating me to do that. And then putting to use all of the knowledge that I've gained from all of these podcasts and books that I've read. Finally, just facing that and realizing that I can learn everything that I want, but if I don't put it into action, it's not going to do anything. And I think just having this realization as I like wrote down and internalized all of this, um, just made me realize that there's so many more important things and I don't want to live my life like this anymore. And just kind of hitting that rock bottom point where I just felt like so tired all the time. And I fought that really hard because I do like,

I have a lot of energy. I work out a lot. You've seen it. Um, majority of people in your shoes, though, like I have a quote from this guy, Dr. Sacker, and he talks about how the nutrition aspect can trigger a host of health problems in conjunction with the over exercising, including anemia, hormonal dysfunction, which I would love to get into low blood pressure, heart failure, and unfortunately, like just being exhausted all the time. But the only way for someone like you or an addict to actually get through that exhaustion is to work out because it creates, um, a high within your body. Yeah. And it creates that thrill of something that you love. That's,

that's the interesting thing. And that's you for sure. Yeah. Like I, cause my workouts, that's hitting this rock bottom point. Wasn't necessarily an injury or not having energy in my workouts because fortunately I have felt happens a lot yeah and I'm very very lucky that

that wasn't the case but um I I felt or I thought I felt totally fine in my workouts like I I can go and if I feel like I absolutely have nothing left in the tank, then like, I know that I've, that's it. I'm done. But like, I would work out a couple of times a day and feel absolutely great for

those workouts. But what I didn't realize, and this is something that I, I kept fighting like, no, I have energy. I'm fine. But like,

yeah, I felt great for my workouts because I was putting everything into those workouts. But then every other aspect of my life, like, I didn't even want, like, I don't want to do anything else. Like, I'm just too tired. It like sneaks up on me in a way where I was not living a fulfilling life in any way because I was just too tired. Like the thought of just like doing anything normal, like going to the beach with some friends. It's like, okay, Aaron, muster up the energy. You can do it. Like I shouldn't have to talk myself into like normal fun activities with people that I

like to be around or just going to the mall to go shopping or going out to eat, you know, just little things like just being too tired for all of that. And like, that's not what life is about. And I think that really hit me where I don't like, I'm not super woman. I don't have that much energy and I need to be smarter about where I place my energy because I can't do it everywhere as hard as I tried firsthand for sure. And I've seen you actually say to me, like, I don't know if I should want to do this later. And like, you get like anxiety about it. Because in reality, what you're thinking about is I might get less sleep. So I can't wake up at such and such time.

So I can work out and do all these workouts that I really, really want to do. And I've also seen you get done coaching where it's like you're so agitated because of the food situation. Because it has to be a certain thing at a certain time. And I've also been at dinners with you where you haven't even ordered anything. And like that is a social disruption as well. in this world of addiction where the effects are not only for your family and friends, but relationships and all of those daily activities. So how has it affected maybe a few relationships that you've been in? Because I know I have some documentations of other people this has happened to, and the first thing they say is, at first, my significant other was, like,

really impressed with the fact that I could work out and I looked the way that I did and I was so religious with it but then after a while they grew like pretty frustrated because I'd always be canceling plans or saving energy for my workouts or going to bed like after going out or whatever like instead of staying up and having fun like you just go to bed stuff like that so i mean you're a 30 year old woman i'm assuming you've been in quite a few relationships if you talk about those and you look back and you think about how this has potentially destroyed those relationships let's can we touch on that for a minute i know that's touching but no um i think because for the women listening to the show

this would be great yeah I think it's just so important to remember in a relationship especially a serious one um or someone that you're potentially thinking about marrying like that is something that is so so special and that person needs to be the number one priority no matter what especially as you move forward into marriage because that's that's just how it has to be to make it work and when you are consumed with other things that make that person feel less important. Um, it's just not going to work out in the relationship. And yeah, that's what that quote you just read. Um, at first it's super impressive. Oh, they work out, they take care of themselves. That's like, they work hard. Um, but after months and months of seeing that and then being bottom of the totem pole to food and fun times together and them needing sleep and them spending time at the gym it just is easy to see how they can check out and be frustrated and, and not want to, um, be in something where they feel

like they aren't loved and the most important thing in someone's life. So that's definitely affected a couple of my relationships and whether or not that's the reason why it worked out or not. I don't know. But it's just something that I know moving forward for me to be in a happy relationship. It's something that I am so much more aware of now. And I just know that it's not okay to put somebody who you say is so important to you below things that really, really don't matter at the end of the day you know there's some interesting science of like the psychological effects like sometimes you feel like you might feel this one way about a person but psychologically because everything is so one way which could be the food and the eating that you actually just don't know the answer of things so like if I was to ask you

like why did this happen or why did that happen which I've heard you say a few times like I just don't know and that's basically like a psychological detriment that's happened because of all of the exercising and stuff like that so like it has a brainwashing effect which I thought was very interesting when I did my research. And a little bit scary for sure, especially if you're not really sure who that person is or what you want to do. And your brain is telling you something completely different than the actual scenario. Especially if somebody, you know, really cares about you, that could be a bummer. But let's start to move on from that.

I feel like that was pretty good. And let's talk about some of the signs that let other people know, and you know that you're going down potentially the wrong path. So through a different, a couple of different doctors and a couple of different websites of the research that I've done, you're looking at these like seven, there's a seven point system really. And it's, they're pretty much the same across the board. So I went with these seven that I thought were the best ones. And the first one would be tolerance. So needing more and more physical activity to achieve improvement in your mood, sense of calm or an excessive high. So I feel like that's something that happens to you a lot. Like you want to work out so that

you can feel better because you're so drained, potentially at a caloric deficit. Um, and you want to get that workout in so that you have more tolerance throughout the day and you work out twice a day or, I mean, I mean, even still, even as you're coming back, it's just different intensity and different durations and all that stuff. But yeah, cause it does like in the morning, I'm a morning, um, trainer. I love to work out in the morning and I've seen you at eight o'clock every day for the last two years. And that's when I, like, I feel like I do, I feel so much better. Um, even when I'm coaching all morning to squeeze in the hour break, a quick workout. Like I just feel immediately so much better. Second workout. If I do do a second workout, sometimes I leave feeling like, Oh crap,

I think I overdid it. Like that was a little too much. Like I know, but then I would still show up and do it again, you know? Um, so yeah, I can completely relate to that, that feel good. So there's your number one tolerance. Uh, number two would be withdrawal, AKA FOMO. So experiencing anxiety or irritability, um, especially on days when you can't go to the gym. So I've definitely seen you on days where you're like I shouldn't be in the gym however I'm gonna do 40 minutes of that's one thing I do feel I do feel like I've I've um I've mentally like overcome that one thing which I hold on to all of my little my little victories because that's what this process is about is just being happy with the little progress that you do make. But taking a break, I've seen and felt how much I need that that break from the gym,

especially when I work there also. And so having a day where I don't feel the need to go to the gym and when I can just be outside or go do something else or just do nothing, it doesn't even matter. But I've seen the benefit. And I do feel like I've overcome that feeling of like having to go to the gym on a rest day or something like that just because I actually enjoy having a break. Yeah. So I think we all really do. It's a little harder for you. But yeah.

So the next one, actually, when it comes to time, time is actually number three. And it would be devoting unusual large amounts of time to exercising as opposed to, like, planning other things throughout the day or planning things with other people or friends or family. So, yeah. So I definitely spent way too much time working out and that's one thing I thought what like six months ago when I was kind of trying to change I thought okay I'm gonna set a timer on how many hours I can work out and I thought that was gonna to help me. And then all that did. You squeaked in two hours of workouts in an hour. My workouts, the stuff that I would get done in that hour and a half that I would give myself. It's just insane.

I saw it. I would go from this to that to this and squeak it all in and get it all done. And taking a look back now, I'm like, like okay that didn't fix the problem I was doing so much I think it made it worse even though I set a time limit on my workouts and so and it still affected even though I was only spending this much time in the gym it still affected my time outside of the gym because I was still just as worn out and tired. I was still feeling agitated by little things or feeling like I needed more sleep or I wasn't spending that time in any of a wiser way. So it didn't make any difference. I've always thought that your amount of time

working out was crazy. Before you worked in the gym, Erin was on vacation with her mom working out at the gym. And I remember she would do class and then just immediately start doing like these lunges and hip thrusts and squats and like all this leg stuff for like an additional two hours. I remember me and everybody who worked in the gym was like, damn, this girl works out so much. And I remember thinking of like, man, I guess she just really likes to get after it. Like, and I don't know, it didn't really bother me at the time. And then I started to realize that it was a real thing. And I would say that because we're on number three time,

I remember being in the car with you a couple months ago. And I remember asking if you wanted to do something later on in the day. And I specifically remember your eyes shifting to the timer in the car. And it was 4 p.m. and you were like like I saw like the horror on your face you're like oh my god like I need to be in bed in like three and a half hours and like I just like there's something about that particular time in my head where I was like wow like there needs to be a sit down right now um and that's actually like,

I reached out to your sister at that time and then said something about it because I was like, man, it's four o'clock and she's already planning for the next morning. To my defense, it's because I coach early on Monday mornings. I know, but four o'clock for anybody is like, it doesn't matter. 3.45 a.m. is not an easy time to wake up.

But going back to that, though, with the whole working out for a long time, like, it goes back to that tolerance thing also because I've been doing this for so long. Yeah, it's not hard for you. Little by little by little, you start needing more and more and more, thinking you need more and more and more because it doesn't feel as difficult or as taxing or whatever. And so, like, it didn't just happen like, um, overnight, like it just little by little. And that's what's dangerous for people. Those of you guys out there who maybe struggle with this is, um,

it is just going to be such a gradual change that you might not even realize it. And it's so good to take a step back or even ask someone you trust who sees what you do every day just to um get their opinion and have them kind of pull you back a little and just be really aware of how sneaky that can be and how easily you can fall into um feeling like you need more when you really really don't i think the big thing with people in the gym when it comes to erin is we all do these workouts and chalk is hard programming and there's definitely days where you're on the ground a little bit longer than other days but no matter how long you're on the ground for erin has already picked up her weights cleaned them off put them away and has started

squatting and people think that means i don't work hard in the metcon no and that might be true sometimes but yeah i just recover quick that's been my but i'm just going off that's been my excuse forever i just recover fast i feel great it's fine i'm just going off of tolerance though right now because i just need people to understand like how fast she's recovering i mean i've actually seen her get well we've had regional athletes in my gym who she's beaten in workouts in the open and still you know worked out for probably two hours after that but being an actual regional athlete the only thing that erin doesn't have is the super strength i'm not a regional athlete and

i don't know why i train like I am one. She can definitely crush some people in some workouts. It's just the strength thing that's really getting after her. But she could crush you in every workout, back to back to back, in the same day if she really wanted to. Thanks. So number four would be intention effect, which is planning to work out for a limited amount of time,

although you repeatedly exceed that limit. So instead of so you didn't exceed the time limit, but you're exceeding the amount of work done in that amount of time, which everyone knows volume supersedes all. So I think we can breeze over that one. But if you guys listen to the last five minutes, you's basically saying I gave myself a window and I exceeded that. So you guys would be impressed with what I can get done in a one hour workout. I'm just, I'm pretty sure I've seen a 30 minute window of a five by five back squat. Five by five. I've seen in a 30 minute window, I've seen power cleans, snatches, squats, deadlift and strict press all done.

I have seen that. I usually stick to all lower body so the strict press will probably be the next day i'm pretty sure i've seen that okay probably uh okay number five would be loss of control being unable to temper the amount of time spent exercising and feeling as though it's controlling your life that's something we've hit quite a bit i feel like but um yeah you're not in the gym you're not working out you feel like you're losing control of the day you're losing control of the moment and you have FOMO for anybody else who's working out and you're not

working out with I feel like on days like that you like to go for walks or you like to do other things to try to subsidize that time but do you feel like you get like you're losing control of the day and different things um it depends on the day like it my mood which I think is a big part of overtraining is having ups and downs with your mood. But I just feel like some days that's really easy for me and some days it is a problem and it consumes my mind. Okay, let's move on to the next one. I think we've kind of hit that topic a little bit. So number six is the reduction in other activities.

So canceling plans, losing interest in non-exercise related activities or working out uh working out as most um has the most precedence in your life precedence um yeah so that's a that's a hard one for me i have always been a very i i'm a social fun person i I love being around people. However, I have always been, um, kind of introverted and it's, it takes a certain mood or it's harder for me to get myself out there and to want to be around a lot of people. I'm more of a, um, quality over quantity type of person. So if I find my small amount of people, then I'm very happy with that. And so this whole lifestyle that I've been living has only made that like so much worse, where it's so easy for me to spend a lot of time alone. Especially being away from like, I moved here from Salt Lake City, where my family and close

friends are. And so being in California, like I should be here, developing new relationships. And ever since I've been here, it's been more of this problem where I just work out so much. And then I spend a lot of time alone. And and and then I don't want to be alone anymore so I want to go back to the gym because that's my my place that's where I thrive that's where I socialize that's where I feel happy but you don't really you work out alone exactly and so mentally I I thought I'm around people at least I'm around people that I like and people that I connect with and that I know and that's better than being alone and I've never liked doing things by myself I'm just not like I have my few people that I love doing things with and I don't want to do any

like even just going to the store like I want to go with someone it's so much more fun for me um so just that's a huge part of it is not developing in other areas of my life and then feeling that need to be at the gym because that's the only thing that I think is making me happy in that moment. And so it only makes that whole process worse is because it's the only thing that I'm latching to rather than developing other areas of my life and developing other relationships and going out and doing other things besides being in the gym. Agreed. And I've seen a lot of this go on. Let's go to the last one.

And we can start hitting some other topics here. But the last one would be continuance luckily for you this has not happened for you but it's usually someone working out through injuries illness or fatigue which you've obviously done that and then you go against even medical advice or something like i know you have a whoop that tells you it is time for rest day in which case if it's not aaron's rest day it doesn't really matter am i right i mean that's something i've been working on i know i know i know um but it was right yes but yes that is defined by the continuance factor so um i can relate though i've had back problems i've seen that over the years and i've as i've researched i've found that SI problems also very often relate to overtraining. And that's been a problem for a long, long time.

A sacroiliac joint in your hips. Yeah, causes really bad lower back pain. And I've had a lot of issues with that over the years. And there have been times, like luckily it's never been anything too serious. And if I rest, it gets better. And then I'm right back at it, but I will do things that I should not be doing with the pain that I'm in. And, um, so I can relate to that as far as, well, I feel like I need to do this still, even though I can barely walk because my back hurts so bad, but I'm going to at least ride the bike and do this instead,

like trying to convince myself that that's okay. So I know mentally how that feels to push through things that you should not be pushing through for sure. I actually didn't know that your back hurt you that often. It's been pretty good the last couple of years so but it has been a problem for the last like 10 years on and off how do you feel like social media plays into this because i know that you post your workouts online and i know that when it comes time to actually posting it is the reality of what you actually did seem okay to post and the funny thing is you guys i don't even post the whole thing most of the time and it still because I'm too embarrassed to to put the whole thing because it's just not realistic and I know

that I know that people don't have time for that and it's just but when you really when I sit down and write down or talk about what my workout was and say it out loud, I'm like, what the crap? I did all of that in that hour and a half. Like, I don't think that's good for anybody. Um, but back to the social media thing, it's such a good topic. I think we could get in to a lot of things, um, with this because social media affects people in a lot of ways. And one way that I've been thinking about it a lot is with this whole problem that I feel like are going to help people and touch them in a way that might benefit their life. And, um, I have probably over a hundred notes in my phone of posts that I want to make, um, when I'm just journaling or whenever I'm thinking about

things that I think would be a really good post and I'll start making notes of them. And when it comes down to posting it, there's been so many times where I feel like I can't post this because I'm not living this like this. I can't, I can't preach to people something that I'm not even doing. And I've had such a hard time, like, um, figuring out like, okay, the, how do I, how do I share this? But like, I, it doesn't feel genuine and real unless I'm doing it myself. And so that's why it always goes back to workouts. Okay. Well, I did this and I'm good at this and I work out a lot. So I'll post all my workouts. And that's like why I have taken that route with my Instagram is just posting so many videos because that's kind of what I have been known for. And that's what I'm, that's my

thing. Like that's my identity, I guess is what I would call it. So that's like a big thing here is like, you think your identity is really that. Yeah. And so that's, that's what I mean, going back to like the core of everything. It's like being an athlete my whole life and being, um, Aaron, who is a CrossFit coach who has, um, this type of body and does this and is good at this. And it, and that's like, that's what my life is. And as I've gotten older, like you're searching for, for things that you have to offer the world. And when you feel like you found something that you're good at and that you love doing, um, it can become your identity, which is very dangerous because it's not who I am. Like I'm so much more than just what I am passionate about working out and helping people and coaching and fitness and

nutrition. Like that's all okay. Um, and it's a part of who I am and it's what I love, but it is not who I am. And separating that has been a big thing. Um, as far as this whole process goes in, in realizing why have I held onto this so hard and why haven't I listened to everyone who's been telling me that this is not good for me. Um, and that's kind of what it comes down to is just feeling like I have this responsibility to be what I've represented. And like be everything I've made my identity something where I just need to take a step back and look at the things that actually matter. What do I have to offer the world besides what I like to do and what I'm good at? Like, who am I besides everything else? If that were to all be taken away from me right now, if I could never work out again, like what would I do to live a fulfilling life?

And I think that's like, what really makes you want to change is realizing like and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks like this is my life and like the people that matter the most to me are going to love and support me through this and um they're the ones that see and believe in me and and help want to help me develop the other qualities that will actually get me through life. Because this is not what life is about. Life is not about working out. Working out should only help your life. It should not be your life, regardless of what you do.

That's greatly said. However, these people have been trying to help you for a long time. And it doesn't matter what they think, technically to you but then all there is is you no those people matter yeah those people matter but everyone's really everybody who has an opinion on the subject like i think kind of matters because if they're coming out yeah to say something i i 100 agree with that i'm saying as far as your identity yeah um being living up to being aaron with a really nice body like that doesn't matter but what matters is the people that actually care about you you know there was a woman on cnn recently who was coming over a fitness addiction as well and i have one of her quotes and it was

very similar to what you just said and she said i didn't want to stop hearing how great i looked how much other gym goers wished they could look like me or be like me my self-esteem basically hinged on how I how much I lifted how far I ran and how little time I could spend sitting still so it's like yeah pretty close that's what well that's the thing also like when you do dig deep into why you are the way you are, um, I work really, really hard. I like bust my butt and I take pride in that. And I work so hard in the gym and I will get it in even if I'm tired and I will push hard and it will hurt. And like that is fulfilled that you think that's fulfilling. Cause like, Oh, I'm a really hard worker. And I would leave each day feeling like oh i accomplished something today because i worked

really hard in the gym and or i ate really really well and i'm so on top of my life when it comes to fitness and nutrition you know and um and then you realize that going towards anything. Well, yeah, you realize that there's just so much, there's so much more, um, just as far as like accomplishing, it's like a way out almost like, okay, well then I don't have to do anything else productive because I was so productive in that way. And I think that's a big part of growing up. And for me, it's been really hard to like, like I, I want to feel accomplished, but I don't always know how to feel that way because I'm still trying to figure out like what my course is. And I'm trying to develop myself and ways to make money and ways to be successful and ways to be

a better person and ways to be a good mom one day and and all these other things that are so easy to push aside because I'm working so hard in this other area and that's what makes me feel accomplished but like it's just so neglecting to all the other things that actually matter so being a mom I assume right into that well no if we're going to talk about turning points and when it is a turning point this is a big one yeah so this is going to be a big part of the podcast and I think this is going to be when some of you guys realize that maybe you're in this boat or maybe not so I'll start with the only quote that I have um that we can jump into some reasons of turning points

but um this one particular person this was the CNN person I was talking about earlier. One weekend, they were doing yoga in the apartment, and she kicked over a glass. That glass broke on her forehead, and blood started to splatter all over the carpet. The wound was gushing blood, and she refused to seek medical help until she had completed the full range of her sun salutations to finish her yoga workout. So she was like, okay, I'm really messed up, but I'm going to finish this first, and then I'm going to call the ambulance. And then she was like, okay, that is when I knew I could not avoid therapy any longer and I had become a danger to myself which is no longer okay so for you that has not happened however you I mean this is kind of I don't know I think it's important though so you're a Mormon so you've

grown up wanting to have kids I would assume most of your life. And I'm not trying to stereotype it. It's just that Mormons usually have kids pretty young. So I assume most of your friends all have kids at this point. And some of your sisters do as well. And I know that's definitely a goal. So I'm going to go ahead and assume that that is part of the turning point. Yes or no? Yeah, it's a huge a huge part okay so let's get into that so i i mean looking back um my when i first started having a period i was i don't know eighth grade 12 13 whenever girls start i don't know i didn't document it i don't know um and i have like a note like what what would you know, I had a regular period probably till I was I don't even remember, like maybe early 20s. So it was a good a good chunk of time that it was pretty normal, regulated.

And then like I would still have one, but sometimes it would kind of go away or I'd miss a month or something. But I would still have a period and it didn't really seem concerning. And it wasn't until, like, the last couple years that I literally completely lost it and don't have a period at all. And I think I've maybe had one or two that I can even recall. And they, I don't even think they're real periods as I learned more about them. It was probably a, just a bleed that wasn't even me actually ovulating. So I definitely for a while fought that. And of course, um, people say like, okay, well, your body fat percentage is too low and you need to exercise less and you need to eat more. And that's always been the answer. You need to stop working out so much and you need to eat more.

And all that said in my mind was, okay, so you want me to just like give it all up and gain weight and just, you know, I didn't really, I just, it was just scary for me. And so I just thought, okay, my body will figure it out. My body's smart. It's fine. It's going to be fine. Because that's how I live my life. Like it's going to be fine because it always is fine. Like, and that's, that's a problem.

Yeah. It's, I mean, it's good to be positive. And I'm a very positive person, a little too positive sometimes. But there is a moment where you have to look at it realistically. And, you know, it's not going to be fine if you keep making choices that are leading you down a path that are very detrimental to your health. And, well, not having your period is not, it's not just about are very detrimental to your health. Well, not having your period, it's not just about not being able to have kids. There's a laundry list of other problems that go with it. Yes, there's a very big list.

Your period is such an important part of being healthy. I mean, you can get hair loss. Well, yeah, and that takes you into, like, there's so many. And back to social media, when you look at all these girls who you think are so healthy and fit and I am one of those people where like you would look at me and think okay she's so into health and she's so healthy and and some of us are the ones that are the least healthy because we like inside we are not okay whether it's mentally or whether it's hormones or not having a period or just there's so many issues from all of

that where it's not always what it looks like and so girls especially be so careful with who you strive to be like or who you look at on Instagram and just remember that like your your body is so much more than what it looks like and how is it how do you feel and how are you functioning are you able to have kids like all of the things in life that actually matter it is not about being super shredded and looking good if you feel like crap and you can't even do the things that are going to make your life better. Well, I would say probably 75% of the CrossFit Games people who competed this year don't have their period. It's like casual conversation, actually.

Maddie Stewart, who's staying with me this week, actually said something about that. And her coach, Shane, they were saying in the back how they were like pretty casual conversation. Like, oh, yeah, I haven't had my period in a few years, but it's okay. Like, as soon as I'm done competing, like I'm just going to do this and that and I'm going to get it back. And people don't realize the longer that you haven't had it for, the harder it is to get back. And potentially cause permanent damage where you might never get it back. That's definitely a possibility. It is rare, but it's definitely a possibility where you can cause permanent damage,

depending on how long you want to fight this for. Yeah. And that's scary. Like you said, like I have always wanted kids and I've, I think it's so easy to put off things that are not in front of you in that moment. And I think this is so relatable for any aspect of your life. We as humans tend to get caught up in the moment and whatever feels good right now or whatever tastes good right now or whatever's fun right now, um, is so easy to get consumed in. And it's so easy to push off things that you're not dealing with. Like I haven't been trying to have children. I'm not married. It hasn't been on my mind.

It's something I want, but it's been so easy to push off because it's not right now. And so I think that's been a big part for me over the last few weeks is realizing I am 30. I turned 30 this year. Like I'm not a young little chick anymore and I can run out of time. And if I don't take care of it now, then it's going to mess me up. And I'm never going to have what I've truly wanted my whole entire life. And to look back and look at my life and to see like, if that were to be a problem and me to never be able to be a mom and to have kids and to look back at the reasons why, like that would kill me inside the rest of my life to just think that like,

why, why did I do that? Like that was so not worth it because life is so much more than working out guys. Life is so much more than that especially without like an end result like there really is no end result for you like for someone who might be going for the crossfit games they just think about the games the games the games the games or you know maybe they're a professional triathlete and they're like i want to win yeah world championships whatever but for you it's it's just an obsession and if you were to look back at that i do agree that would be like really really sad because it would have been really for nothing. Well, yeah, especially when like the biggest sense of accomplishment for me, everyone is so different.

But for me, it's to have a family and to be a mom and to really focus. I'm a spiritual religious person, as we already touched on but keeping that eternal perspective of what matters after this life is so much more important than working out like it when I when I talk about this and when I think about it it just seems so simple just to make all of those changes because it's just not worth it you know I've looked into some of the reasons not reasons but like if I was to put it like under a topic it would say like will I make it out of this so like if someone was to try to make it out of this and like what are the chances and all of that I actually thought it was pretty interesting that almost 35 percent of the people who try to stop this type of activity and have fitness and food addictions um 35 of them can not do it so almost half um

and this will be a lifelong battle for them um for literally their entire life which i think is pretty scary um i'm not trying to scare you. It's an addiction, but it is going to be hard. There's addictions in every aspect of life. And like people are addicted to everything and it's something they deal with. And a lot of people make it out. A lot of people don't. And it's a hard thing that you have to deal with your whole life. So it's no different than any other addiction. I just thought 35% was a pretty large number. However, what I would like to do more than that 35% is to talk about some of the things that you've been doing currently to get

yourself out of this situation. Um, and I know you've done a lot of research and I've done some as well. Um, yes, but I want to talk about action, how you're going to get back. What are your actions? What is like the normal road to go through and how are you going to get back. What are your actions? What is like the normal road to go through? And how are you going to get your period back? Let's talk about that as well. Cause that's actually something I don't know enough about to really start to geek out, but I know that you do. Yeah.

Um, well the one really, really good thing, and I would recommend this to anyone who is able to, um, who has like a really good support system or find a good support system that you can spend time with and someone, um, that you trust whose opinion, um, for me, it's my dad. I had a chance to spend a whole week with him, um, and have some really good conversations with him where he

is able to put a perspective, um, on me that I trust and that I, like he is to me, like he can't say anything wrong because I've seen he's always right. Even though I fought him my whole life, like it all, he always ends up being right. So now I can look at what he says and just, it helps me so much. So if, if anyone has someone like that, I would recommend spending some time with them and talking to them to kind of help you get started. Um, so I luckily had a chance to talk to him and we just talked out my goals in life and he just told me, okay, let's get out a piece of paper. We're going to start writing stuff down and talk to me. Tell me like, what, what do you want? What, what are your goals over the next few years? What do you want? And like the first thing that came

out of my mouth, cause this is something I've been wanting to change for so long. And it's like, how can I change it? That's been the biggest thing. And the first thing I could blurt out was like, I just want to be normal. I want to be a normal person. I don't feel normal. I feel so consumed in this little life of mine. That's just not fulfilling. And like, I just want to go do normal things and I want to sleep normal hours and I want to like eat normal food and I don't want it to be all consuming. And I just want to have a free mind and just live like a normal life. And I don't know what other be all consuming. I just want to have a free mind and just live like a normal life. And I don't know what other word to use because I know there's that normal is so

different for everyone. There's no right or wrong type of normal, but you want to be like your peers. Yeah. Like your peers. You know what I mean? Everybody else has their peers. You want to be like the people that you hang out with and even your family has, you know, they like eat ice cream. Yeah. Like I just, I just want to feel like a normal person that can go out and do fun things and just like enjoy it and not be stressed about things that don't matter and like I know that that's a part of life you'll always have feelings like that but overall like that was the first thing that I could blurt out. And so, um, writing all of that down and just talking to him about it really helped me, um, and just focus on those, those goals that I

want and where I want to go next, because to keep living the life I'm living, just, I'm, I'm not reaching my potential as a human and I'm not happy and fulfilled and so that was kind of an eye-opening thing to just talk to someone and to write it all down so that helped a lot and then some other steps that I'm taking besides all of the I mean I'm reading a really good book right now as far as getting my period back that's been helpful just to learn more about females, um, health and their hormones. And it's called period repair manual by Lara Bryden, I think is how you say your name. Um, but it's a really good book that, um, has kind of helped me understand just how important it is. Cause I think it's easy to just feel like it's not, it's not that

important. It will come back, whatever. But, um, seeing the science and the research behind it has made me even more motivated as I read it to get that health back and to be able to have a period again and just be more motivated to make the choices every day of working out less and eating more. Cause bottom line, that's what I'm really trying to do to fix all of these problems. more motivated to make the choices every day of working out less and eating more because bottom line that's what I'm really trying to do to fix all of these problems so that's been helpful one thing that I've also done is completely cutting out pre-workout and my caffeine intake so I think that's really helpful because a lot of pre-workout in your days. Yes. So I've been hooked on pre-workout. Anyone that knows me knows like in

my car, in my gym bag, like everyone comes in, Aaron, where's the pre-workout? Can I take a scoop? Like, Oh, which one do you want? I got this. I got this. I got this. These two mixed. Oh, this one's bomb. Like I just know all the things about pre-workout and I take it every day like I've been taking it every day that I work out I mean I did take it once before I went to Disneyland that's actually really embarrassing I'm embarrassed for you right now it was a long time I needed extra energy disneyland's big um so there we go that's that's the extent of my issue so that that's gonna be pre-workout you guys it's dangerous it gives you a false idea of how your body's feeling and i would pop in my pre-workout and be ready to go feeling great. And it lied to me. It lies to your body. It tricks you. It lied to me. It makes you think you're okay and you're not okay.

And it's been amazing to me. I cut it out completely a couple weeks ago, which to me, that's a long time. I've never gone more than a week I've taken a few week cleanses and this one's lasting I'm sticking to it we're gonna start making money off of that but just overall just caffeine and pre-workout um cutting that out completely if you guys feel like you're in this place where you might be overtraining, just go without any caffeine or pre-workout and see how your body actually feels. Because I am so much more in tune with how tired I am and like when I want to stop and when I should stop or when I can keep going because I actually know how my body feels. Like it's amazing the difference that I have felt. And there's times where I like am so excited for the workout to be over.

I've been feeling like I cannot wait until this ends because I'm like I'm hitting that point. Like I'm done. I don't have any more energy left. And I mean, there's a difference between that. And obviously if you're in a really hard workout and it sucks and you want it to end, but I'm talking about like, okay, this is the point where I've done enough. I've picked my couple lifts. I did one little Metcon and now I can leave and that's it for the day. And I don't want to do anything else because I actually feel like I

can't, like I don't, my body's done. It's like, I'm in better touch with my head and my body or in better communication, I guess. Um, so that's been really helpful for me. Um, and then the last thing, um, that's been really helpful for me mentally, just as far as feeling in control and to go into not only just the fitness addiction part of this, but just my food. Um, I've been so obsessed since I was little about what I eat and eating, i quote healthy food um and just being so aware of everything i put into my body and which is great if you keep it in control but it obviously is the same as my fitness is where it it consumes me and it's all i think about and it's all I do and I don't go and do these things because I don't want to eat that and um you're losing the moderation effect yes it's not moderation

like I said before it's like an all or nothing theme throughout my life moderation if Erin does like something you can plan on it being sold out at the food store yep she found out she liked plantains and I literally saw her eat plantains. Guys, have you ever had a plantain though? And if you don't like them, you probably didn't cook them right. I'm obsessed, but yes, I'm a very obsessive person. So that's something I'm aware of and something I need to be careful with. But, um, but I think for me, everyone's different and everyone has different ways, um, to that help them, whether it's like certain diets that they like to follow or, um, my biggest thing that helps me the most is my macros. I love to count my macros and that's, I don't know if that's something you

want to get into right now. Um, but that's something that's just been helpful for me mentally to feel like I'm not just going to blow up into some big elephant because I'm not working out as much. Well, like the reverse dieting factor of it. Right. So like, yeah, that's, what's good about, I think the macro is like, I don't want to touch on macros and like specifically, however, for you right now, your, your, your goal is to add a hundred calories every week. Is that correct?

Well, yeah. So that's what, like, that's cause that leads into, like, everyone always telling me, like, oh, you work out too much and you're not eating enough. And you're telling me that I'm not eating enough. But in my mind, because I eat a lot, I've always loved food and I eat a lot of food. What I didn't realize is that I wasn't eating enough for the activity level that I was doing. So I've always eaten more than probably most girls eat. And, um, I think when I first met you, that was true, but not, not as of like the last. Yeah. I mean, it's never been a problem as far as, I mean, I've always eaten a good amount. It's

just not been a sustainable amount for my activity level. And so that does, it's the same thing. I'm under eating because I'm, I'm burning so much more. And so, um, that's been a big help for me is to actually keep track of my macros. And every single week I'm trying to find where I maintain, where I lose and where I gain weight is, is figuring out what that is for me. And so keeping track of my macros, um, and then every week just increasing a little bit until I find where I'm sustaining. Cause as of the last few weeks, I've lost weight and every week as I add, I will see where my weight starts to increase. And then I know what my maintaining weight is. So mentally for me, it takes me out of the gym and it's like, okay, I don't have to go work out more and more and more because I have my diet in check and I'm

still enjoying things that I want to enjoy, but I'm eating the right amount for the amount that I'm burning. And then I can let go of what's happening in the gym because I don't feel like I need to do more because my diet is where it needs to be for my body, if that makes sense. So that also goes into getting my period back is just eating enough to support how much I'm burning. So just know, you have to know, it has to be measurable to be able to change. Once you get to the maintaining calorie, though, don't you actually still want to add from there so you start to gain a has to be measurable to be able to get to the maintaining calorie though don't you actually still want to add from there so you start to gain a little bit of fat yeah yeah for me but just for any anyone in general just it depends on who you are and what you're

trying to do but that's a good way to do it clarify that yeah yeah um so how long until you think that like what is the goal to get your period back is it six months is it a year is it three months honestly from everything that I have researched there's no way to predict that and it can be I would expect probably at least I mean it it has to be at least to get ovulating again it takes at least a few months okay to be able to do that so that would be on the very low side but it could take a couple years you know you just people it takes a few years yeah that could be a long time which hopefully won't be the case if i do it right if i do it right then it shouldn't take that long but you just never know you you don't know how to predict how your body will handle it so yeah everybody's different so um is there any other things that you've been adding in um any

outside of the gym activities that you've been wanting to get into like i know you like to play tennis and hopefully you don't go overboard on whatever this new activity is like a paddle boarding champion since we live in newport beach, or maybe you start hanging out with Michael Phelps. I'm just, no, that's a big, a part of this process is not to replace my addiction with something else. It is to develop a mindset where I can be normal, quote, normal and, and do things in moderation. So that's a big thing I'm working on right now is just, um, finding things that I, that I can do. I've always loved playing tennis. I needed a break from it for a while after playing, um, for so long. And now that I'm ready to accept that I am not as good as I once was and I never will be

I'm ready to play again so if anyone wants to play I need I need people to play with I used to be really good so yeah I definitely want to start playing tennis more I have a really cute bike that I like to ride I rode it over here and it was fun. Just being outside. I'm such an outdoors person. I love being on the beach. I love playing sports. I love riding my bike. I love walking. I love just being outside. Um, definitely something I miss about Utah is the mountains, but I have the beach here, so you can't really lose either way. I feel like people who live near the mountains never liked the mountains until they leave them until you leave. I feel like people who live near the mountains never like the mountains until they leave the mountains. Until you leave.

I'm telling you. I took my backyard for granted. I lived in Utah as well for five years, for those of you who didn't know. And I absolutely hated it. I thought it was the worst place in the world. But your life kind of sucked when you lived there. I know. I actually lived the life that she's living when I was training for the Olympics.

Except he was training for the olympics and except he was training for the olympics and i'm training for not the olympics however man oh my life did suck so bad i wish i actually talked about a little bit of my experience during that time because i think that that during that time i definitely was one of those people i remember people just my friends on the team they'd go out some of the bobsledders go drinking and hey come on you should come out whatever and i'm like no like I think that's gonna deter me from like training tomorrow and like this vision I have and I remember I couldn't go on hikes because my goal was to be 210 pounds and like it was so hard for me to be that big and like every time like you You were though. You ate that pizza from Whole Foods.

Every single day. I would eat a whole pizza. But I remember, you know, people asking me to go on this hike. I lived in Park City and there was like all these beautiful mountains. And they'd be like, oh, you got to go on this hike with us. You got to do it. You got to do it. And I'd be like, all right, I'm going to go.

And I had only done that maybe two or three times where I just broke down and went. But I would bring like 15 protein bars with me and like every 30 steps I'd be like my friends are like dude you're not gonna lose any weight just relax you know like I'd probably gain weight on a hike like as opposed to everybody losing weight but I do miss the mountains now and like I actually like think all the time about my next trip to the mountains. Like those of you who follow me, I've been to Norway and Iceland and Italy and I don't know, Canada recently and just to hike mountains. And I think about Utah all the time and I'm like, oh man, I really missed out and I really messed up taking advantage of all those things. And I think that that's something that I'm actually excited for you to live now is maybe all of us can go drive up to Yosemite and go hiking,

or maybe, you know, you go back to Utah and take advantage of things that you never took advantage of. And maybe you find a love or something that you didn't even know you had. Like, I didn't know I liked hiking. I never thought of hiking right now. It doesn't sound good to me like we're so young still and think of how much you've changed just in the last year and just to think that we have every passing year after this of change and growth and finding new passion like that's so exciting and that's

how I feel right now is I'm just so excited to finally like develop myself outside of that and just to like explore what life is all about like there's so much more to life I think six months ago just the thought of doing this podcast with you at this time of day would be stressful you would be like I don't know like it's planted around my protein shake and my breakfast but i thursday rest day but i really want to work out still should i rest guys i straight rested today i'm loving it it's it's great but just remember also like it is a process and i know that like for me, like the hard part is not over. This is, I'm just a few weeks in. We're in the very, very beginning stages. Yeah, very beginning.

And I think it's just so important to, yeah, first be aware and accepting and to not hate people for telling you what your flaws are. We all have flaws. And whether it's working out too much or whether it's something else, we all have things that we really need to work on. And people who tell you, even if they say it in ways that you don't want to hear it, like it's like me, it's from a good place. And for me, like to find humility has been a huge thing like I'm such a stubborn person oh man okay it's bad I'm very stubborn and in the air I can cut the stuff with this knife of butter

and I also I also am like a very very nice person and I think that's what has been a huge turning point for me is realizing that I am not a nice person. The last few months, people at the gym, those of you guys who know me and have been around me the last few months and compare me to when I first moved here or people that have known me for a long time. Like I, I genuinely am like a nice person. I care about people and I've not been that person. Like I, it's crazy how something like working out, we're sitting here talking about working out too much. And that's like, not even the point. The point is that like, yeah, that's, that's the problem. But like, it's all the other things that like, like I've completely lost myself with this problem. And like, I don't even feel like I, like I'm easily irritated. I get mad and I, I just don't feel like me. And so like the last couple of weeks to really focus on that

and to feel like a nice pre-workout, not a pre-workout the mix, but like if it's about to be pre-workout or it's about to be your eating window or whatever i mean you're almost like a lion where it's like if you ask and it's like you might as well have a little background noise that follows you my sisters that have worked out with me like they know but better than anyone like when i'm working out it's like i'm a different person people at the gym they just know like they're not going to cross paths with me when I'm in the middle of working out. Like and that's so sad to me. Like I want to be in there.

It's been so fun the last couple of weeks to let go of what I'm doing there and to just enjoy it again. Like I leave the gym every day like feeling happy and being like that was so fun and like I was actually smiling and laughing and like I don't feel like I need to stay and do more and like it's I'm actually like having fun and that's what fitness should be it should be fun you know and so even for the top competitors in the world uh Tia toomey who just won the crossfit games and matt frazier who just won the crossfit games matt always talks about how he contributes his success to his life outside of the gym that's like one thing he always talks about um tia pretty similar and she's also like one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and i think those those are you know the people who are like much more about themselves they're not in the warm-up area

anymore hanging out and having fun they're like in some fancy hotel like you know by themselves and doing this and that which is what a lot of the top athletes usually do they get out of there they don't want to talk to anybody they don't want to see anybody um they're doing some weird things and like it's just fine if those are people who are just not it's not adding to their life yeah but that's their focus when you're competitive like but what i'm saying you want to do is that all this should be fun yeah and the people who are having the most fun are actually winning yeah and the people who aren't well that's that's losing in more than one way than another. Ironically, that's how it works more often than not.

I think that's pretty interesting. Annie Thor's daughter, she's always out there just smiling and having fun. And she's so fun to watch. That's a great example of another person. She's a great example. So I do have a website here called nationaleatingdisorders.org. So I know that Erin's biggest thing is not the eating disorder part of it, but the orthorexia part that we talked about earlier is like a new thing that's been like getting pretty hot.

I 100% have orthorexia. Oh, yeah, for sure. You do. But this website is going to give you like different eating disorders depending on which one you may have. But if you think that you even have a chance of having one, like some sort of disorder, um, you can just check out that website and it's nationaleatingdisorders.com. Take some online tests and see kind of like where you're at without even asking a friend or, you know, listening to someone give you some sort of criticism. You might just be able to do that, um, and find out something, you know listening to someone give you some sort of criticism you might just be able to do that um and find out something you know just right there do you know of any other websites or

anything that you found that you think might have helped um give you like more clarity on the subject like we're let's say someone is listening to this right now and they're like oh man i wonder if this is me and like is there is there some information that you can give them that will help them come along? So I actually just came across, I don't know if you guys are familiar with Emily Schroem. She is, she has a podcast called the Meathead Hippie. She was on the real world years ago, but she's, um, really into this now. And, um, she just launched, uhie that sounds familiar actually yeah she launched uh

um it's called the body awareness project and i think she's done one before and this is part two but um it's for people who are um struggling with all of this and it's a a course that you can take with a lot of videos from, um, doctors and just so many things you can do to take steps. She includes a six week workout plan, um, for people who are recovering so that they're not doing too much, but still staying sane and still feeling like they can do something. Um, so all of that's included and she even sends a little box that has a couple things in it that are helpful. And so I would definitely recommend checking that out if you feel like this could be you, if your cortisol is just off or if your adrenals, all of that.

It's just all about healing and helping people. So The Body Awareness project by Emily Strom. And then you'd recommend your period repair manual, I assume. Yep. That book is, well, that book is just so good for any woman just to learn more. Like it's been amazing for me to learn more about just women's health, things that I had no idea about and that are affecting people so much. So ladies go read that, whether you have, whether you think you have health problems with your period or not, it's so beneficial to learn. So that's a really good book. So myself and the 1 million people listening to this episode are going to keep some tabs on you

to see how you're doing. Yeah. So how are they going to keep tabs on you? Where can everybody find you? Um, my Instagram, I'm really excited to excited to be able to start, like I said, with all those notes that I've taken, to be able to start posting the things that I really want to post that I feel like I'm actually living up to now as far as health and being healthy from the inside out and not feeling pressure to be this super shredded person that's not even happy or healthy I think that's the biggest thing so my Instagram is Erin Monson and I'm excited to start sharing all of that because that's that's gonna be fun for me that's what I love you're gonna have a website and stuff up yeah working on a website so that I can help people with a lot of things um training nutrition

I'm just so passionate about the topic, obviously, so I'm all consumed in it, but, um, I think it will be so exciting to stop focusing so much on my fitness and nutrition, but to be able to reach more people and help people. Cause that's what will be so much more fulfilling for me is to, um, help other people hit the goals that they want and to live happy and healthy lives. Oh, that's great. I hope that you guys,

um, really loved this episode. It was a treat for me. I've actually never had a chance to talk to Aaron about these things the way that we did just now. So, um, that was a great podcast.

It was a great therapy session for all of us. Uh, some great knowledge in there. There's some good humility in there, some vulnerability in there and anything that rhymes with ability in there. So I hope you guys take some great notes on this, uh, and you can add it into your life or maybe help somebody else out who might need it. Um, remember to be gentle in your approach. I have one more thing to add. Oh, go for it. One thing that I think everyone should start doing right now, today, get a journal, preferably a journal you write in and not on your phone, but either one is fine. Every single day, one to three things that you are grateful for write it down do that every

single day just do it i do it once a week but every day i could try one time it takes 30 seconds and it's so mentally and emotionally good and it'll be it'll change your life all right guys there you go there's another way to change your life hope you guys enjoyed the episode and we will see you again soon bye