Barbell Shrugged - The Windy Road to Mr. Olympia with Randy Lloyd, Anders Varner, and Doug Larson- Barbell Shrugged #450

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

Host the One Ton Challenge at your gym: http://shruggedstrengthgym.com   In today’s episode the crew discuss the mindset of a strength athlete.   How Randy found the military. Opiate addiction that started from injuries on deployment. When opiates turn into to a heroine addiction Why you don’t instantly bounce out of rock bottom Finding FitOps and rediscovering purpose. Standing on the stage at Mr. Olympia And more…   Anders Varner on Instagram Doug Larson on Instagram Randy lloyd on Instagram   TRAINING PROGRAMS   One Ton Challenge   One Ton Strong - 8 Weeks to PR your snatch, clean, jerk, squat, deadlift, and bench press   20 REP BACK SQUAT PROGRAM - Giant Legs and a Barrel Core   8 Week Snatch Cycle - 8 Weeks to PR you Snatch   Aerobic Monster - 12 week conditioning, long metcons, and pacing strategy   Please Support Our Sponsors   “Save $20 on High Quality Sleep Aid at Momentous livemomentous.com/shrugged us code “SHRUGGED20” at checkout.   US Air Force Special Operations - http://airforce.com/specialops   Organifi - Save 20% using code: “Shrugged” at organifi.com/shrugged   PRx Performance - http://prxperformance.com use code “shrugged” to save 5%   http://kenergize.com/shrugged use Shrugged10 to save 10%   Masszymes http://maszymes.com/shrugged use Shrugged to save 20% ------------------------------------------------------------------ Show notes at: http://www.shruggedcollective.com/bbs-lloyd ------------------------------------------------------------------   ► Subscribe to Barbell Shrugged's Channel Here ► Subscribe to Shrugged Collective's Channel Here http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedSubscribe 📲 🎧 Listen to the audio version on the Apple Podcast App or Stitcher for Android Here- http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedApple http://bit.ly/BarbellShruggedStitcher Shrugged Collective is a network of fitness, health and performance shows that help people achieve their physical and mental health goals.  Usually in the gym, but outside as well. In 2012 they posted their first Barbell Shrugged podcast and have been putting out weekly free videos and podcasts ever since. Along the way we've created successful online coaching programs including The Shrugged Strength Challenge, The Muscle Gain Challenge, FLIGHT, Barbell Shredded, and Barbell Bikini. We're also dedicated to helping affiliate gym owners grow their businesses and better serve their members by providing owners tools and resources like the Barbell Business Podcast. Find Shrugged Collective and their flagship show Barbell Shrugged here: SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES ► http://bit.ly/ShruggedCollectiveiTunes WEBSITE ► https://www.ShruggedCollective.com INSTAGRAM ► https://instagram.com/shruggedcollective FACEBOOK ► https://facebook.com/barbellshruggedpodcast TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/barbellshrugged

Shrugged family, it's weird out there. I'm quarantined in my house. I'm hitting the road tonight. Doug, Travis Mash, and I are locking ourselves in a very secluded place. We're going to record somewhere between 10 and 15 shows over the next four days because we don't know when we're going to be able to get back together and do the thing that makes us the happiest, which is getting on microphones, getting in the gym, training, talking, training, and just being around each other. I'm kind of freewheeling this because I don't exactly have all the words. I wish I had the words that would solve problems. But right now we're all in this thing together.

My hearts go out to all the gym owners. I've been a gym owner. I understand a gym owner's life. I understand that none of us got into the business of owning a gym thinking we were going to become millionaires, billionaires. It was never really about money. It was always about doing this thing that you loved for the rest of your life. And whatever that took, you were going to make happen. And most of the time, what you end up trading revenue and money and profit and income and all those balance sheet things for is quality of life, relationships, amazing people. And something like this happens.

And out of your control, you start losing that thing that's most important to us, which is the relationships. I don't know how Barbell Shrugged actually fits into all of your life, those relationships, but whatever it does, I hope it reminds us all that we have the ability to connect with people. I hope this voice, the laughs you hear, the stories we tell, make you feel at home, keep a little bit of stability in your life. And when we emerge from this thing, I'm positive that we're all going to be in a better place. I remember when 9-11 happened and social media didn't exist. There wasn't even a.edu Facebook page.

All you had was the people that were around you. And I remember that sense of unity that we all had and shared. And there was something just incredible about those weeks and months right after it. We were just all together. We were all on the same page. We were all fighting for the same idea of good. What's really wild to me is I feel like over the last 19 years, what seemed to be so unified turned into social media, turned into news media, it turned into a lot of losing that unity. Our climate was really, really hot. Political debates, ongoing wars that we don't ever really see an end to, a lot of right and wrong, a lot of pointing fingers, a lot of tribalism,

and more than anything, us losing the sense of all of us being in this battle together. And I think one of the biggest things that we can always remember is that nature, mother nature is undefeated, and when something seems to be getting too hot, too out of control, moving too fast, kind of how the political and social climate of pre-coronavirus was. There's a global outbreak, a global pandemic that seems to have done its job to remind us all that we're all on this big rock together. We're all circling the sun together. We're all on this planet together and it's all of our jobs to be united and and be a part of this thing as one my heart goes out to

the gym owners my heart goes out to the athletes my everyone that's in the shrugged family we've all got families of our own we're all hunkering down we're all going inside our houses we're all doing everything we can do um but maybe this thing's hitting at the right time the right time for us all to kind of remind ourselves to look at the person next to us look at the person in front of us look at our neighbors and uh remember what loving your neighbor feels like. Remember what truly appreciating the person that opens the door for you feels like. Seems like we might have gotten a little bit too far away from that. And we have this beautiful opportunity here to get back to really understanding what the word love means and appreciating each other. We're going to get into the show.

I just felt like I needed to and wanted to say something to our audience. I appreciate all of you. Fitness will continue. Shrugged will continue. We're headed to Knoxville, Tennessee tonight to crank out tons of content. The show must go on. Our lives will go on. It's going to be different.

And I hope by different I mean that we all take the time to slow down, acknowledge each other, tell each other we love each other, appreciate each other more, give more hugs to people and genuinely be more grateful for the people and the time we get to spend on this beautiful rock living this life we get to live we'll see you guys at the break we've got some sponsors and stuff but let's get into the show

welcome to Barbell Struct I'm Andrew's partner Doug Larson sitting to my left Randy Lloyd this dude has traps But let's get into the show. Welcome to Barbell Shrugged. I'm Andrew's partner, Doug Larson, sitting to my left. You bet. Randy Lloyd. This dude has traps. Dude, bodybuilders, like really good ones, you always know because their traps are so giant. They do like shrugs all day long. They spend so much time doing lateral raises, forward raises, all the hypertrophy stuff. I always like when, because like when you stand on stage,

you have to like be a box. You have to like present the front half of your body. And the only way to do it is to build this like massively unfunctional front delt. Completely unfunctional, absolutely. And the funny thing about my traps, I don't train them. Stop it. I don't do drugs. I haven't trained traps.

Just naturally fucking have your shoulders and your ears. I guess if you think about the body's natural ability to take the least path of resistance, that's what my traps do. So I say I don't train traps, but I actually train them every training session. Train them all the day. When I'm training legs, I train traps. Singling out your traps seems unfair to the rest of your body because you're well-developed pretty much everywhere as far as I can tell.

Thank you. That was the goal. Yeah, that's right. We're down here at FitOps Camp. We've been doing a ton of shows, hearing the most insane slash inspirational wildest stories. And you were here at FitOps Camp 1, right? camp one right i was you i would love to talk just one about your story um i'd love to hear about the bodybuilding and how it all kind of

fits together and then a little bit about just like the progression from camp one to camp 10 um so where uh where did you find this what's a little bit of your background. So I'm an Army combat veteran. I was deployed to Mosul, Iraq 2005-2006. Loved every minute of my service, but when I got out, I, like a lot of veterans, you know, kind of lost the sense of, you know, the camaraderie, obviously, purpose um attaching yourself to something bigger than you um and so um you know that you know a couple years into my exit from the military and and my deployment um i was uh i was feeling pretty ostracized and i went to college, and it was, I didn't feel like I could connect with anybody. And, you know, at that time, you know, we weren't in such a prescription pain pill epidemic as we are now.

And I had some prescription pain medication for, you know, just, you know, hurting, you know, you know, knees were kind of bugging and stuff like that. And it was just easy to obtain. And once I, you know, the pain from the injury was gone, I felt that I could still utilize those to kind of cope. And I wouldn't have to worry about not fitting in because i was numb you know um and so it it grew into a steady progression of of um you know first you're you're taking a pain pill just to feel better and then one pain pill doesn't work, so you start taking two. And then Lortab's don't work, so you move to Oxy's. And then when you take those, those don't work. So you get all these really bad learned behaviors through the process,

and I ended up crushing them up and snorting them. And then when that wasn't effective anymore, started crushing them up, diluting them, and injecting them. And then that got really expensive, so a much cheaper source is heroin. So I ended up in a, in a full blown heroin addiction. Um, and, uh, kind of really, um, the, the big, you know, everybody talks about, you know, your rock bottom, what was your rock bottom? Um, I was in St. George, Utah and, um, I was shooting up in a gas station bathroom. I was having a hard time finding a vein and kind of made a mess in the bathroom and was messed up and didn't really realize what I had done and came out of the bathroom. the gas room uh gas station attendant walked back

in the bathroom after I exited and saw the blood on the on the sink and everything like that and and called the called the police and I was just sitting outside the gas station waiting for my buddy that was going to get more stuff and um cops pulled up and initially I hadn't really thought anything about it. Cops need gas too, you know. But then they started walking straight towards me. And I had a loaded syringe in my pocket. I tried to kind of nonchalantly throw it in the bushes, you know.

Because it was a good idea at the time, you know. I thought you were being very smooth. Yeah, yeah. They'll never know. They'll never know. No, no. It's not like their job to look for shit like that. Yeah.

They've never seen this smoothness. No, uh-uh. Not for me. Nickname Smooth Operator. So I was actually on the phone with my mom at the time. She was on vacation, and she was checking up on me. Because at this point, it was on vacation and she was checking up on me because at this point it was it was pretty clear that something was up you know i was just really good

at hiding it um but she was worried i was i was actually in salt lake city living with her and i was down in saint george seeing friends while she was out of town and um uh she was aware of kind of my struggle a little bit and had an idea. And the cop said, who are you talking to? And I said, my mom. He's like, oh, mind if I talk to her? So, yeah, here. You know, gave her the phone, gave him the phone.

And she completely threw me under the bus. The cop introduced himself, you know, and said, we got a call that we have somebody exuding some suspicious behavior. And we're just wondering if that's something that would fit the profile of your son. And she said, if he has pain pills, they're not his. They're his dad's. And so, okay, thank you, you know, and hangs up. And he said, what did you throw in the thank you you know and hangs up and uh he said would you throw in the bushes you know and at that point you know i as i look back on it and i've i've looked back on it many

times since being sober and you know i think uh when people get to a point in their addiction where they feel like that they can't control it anymore, they almost want to get caught, you know. So I was just completely upfront. You know, I said it was a syringe. You just said the word addiction. I feel like a lot of people think the addiction is the problem rather than I tend to view it more as like a symptom of a much different problem.

Oh, absolutely. 99% of the time. Yeah. I agree with that. I wasn't addicted to a substance. I was addicted to avoiding a feeling. Right. You know, and I was trying to continue to mask that.

In fact, and I'll get deeper into that as my story progresses and how I really feel about addiction itself. Have you read Chasing the Scream? No, I haven't. That whole book is about how addiction stems from lack of connection. It's people medicating themselves because they don't feel a connection. They don't feel understood. They don't feel accepted.

They have no sense of belonging. They don't have friends and positive social support. And so they turn to not just heroin necessarily, but gambling, sex, food, training, doesn't matter what it is. Like you'll compulsively go after something to keep yourself from feeling a feeling. Absolutely. Or just feeling good. Right. You know, and if those things make you feel good, then, you know, psychologically that's something that you want to continue to obtain.

You know, but it's not earned. You know. So, well, unbeknownst to me, my friend that I was waiting for had left a teener of meth in my glove compartment. And the cop asked if he could search my car, and they found it. And so I went to jail for felony possession of a Schedule I substance, paraphernalia, and public intoxication. And so on top of all the other crap that I was trying to avoid, now I'm a convicted felon. I went from a soldier in the greatest military that's ever been on this planet with purpose, camaraderie, a brotherhood, you know, to a part of society that's kind of looked down upon. You know, I can't vote, can't own a firearm. These laws that I, you know, these constitutional rights that I signed up to protect and defend, I can't participate in, you know.

So is that my rock bottom? Well, the thing about, you know, rock bottom is, you know, once you hit it, you don't always bounce right back up. You know, you can live there and so I continued to live there and you know victimize myself because now you know I'm not only a mess up that but I'm a convicted felon and this drove my addiction even more you weren't in jail I went to jail for for three days bail, and then went through the court process and ended up with probation, community service. And, you know, I think the judge saw the struggle and kind of, you know, I had said at that point I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew that this is something that I can't continue to do.

And I said, you know, I'd like to go back to the military if that's a possibility, you know, we'll complete these things and we'll reassess your case kind of situation. But, you know, I think it was a bit of posturing, you know what I mean? Um, so I, uh, I let it continue to drive my addiction, um, to the point to where, uh, one day, um, uh, my best friend and friend and I, we were going to get heroin and cocaine. And we were with our dealer. And I was driving in my car. And they hit theirs. And then I'll switch seats. I went in the back seat,

and got mine prepared, a mix of heroin and cocaine, and put it in my arm, and the last thing I remember seeing was my friend's eyes in the rearview mirror, and then everything went black, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up and there's paramedics surrounding me. Jesus, dude. And they brought me out of it with a shot of Narcan. And when I came to, the paramedic looks at me and says, You were dead. Your heart stopped.

You were as dead as dead gets. The shit's getting real out here. You might really want to start thinking about what you're doing. Do you remember dying? No. I mean, like the light and stuff like that, it was black. And then I was awake, you know. And, you know, being in the messed up mind state I was in,

my first thing was, now I'm not high. Because that counteracts the drug effects you know um and um well when i was uh when i was out uh my my best friend he uh first he tried slapping me awake so he's slapping me slapping me slapping me and um actually got ended up getting like a black eye from it and um then he started doing chest compressions on me until the paramedics got there. And if it wouldn't have been for that, I probably would have died. And so I was face-to-face with the realization that this is something that's completely out of my control and I couldn't the thought that that started getting the ball rolling for me to to recover from this was I couldn't bear the thought of my mom buried me and so we started researching rehab facilities and she was looking at all's, let's go down to the VA first, you know, see if, if they can, you know, potentially help pay for one of these rehabs,

you know? Um, and we, we went down to the VA, we went to the, the, um, it was called Eagle's Nest, which is the addiction facility and the VA in Salt Lake City. And had a meeting with a counselor there. And she said, well, we want to put him in a rehab facility. We're wondering if the VA could do anything to help chip in on the cost of it. And it was pretty comical because the counselor looked at her and goes, no. We have a rehab here that he can go to for free. You know, and, you know, if you've ever been to a VA facility, you know, you know, I think they're trying their best with everything, but they're not the most pleasant of places to be in.

They're super depressing. And I told my mom, I was like, if I go to rehab here, I'm just going to want to do more drugs. But again, I couldn't justify the fact that my mom was going to throw $20,000 away for something that I did. So we asked, when can we get in? There'll be a bed open next week. And so I went on a week bender, a whole, you know, just stayed high the whole time.

And my mom picked me up from my dad's house. And I, I looked like death warmed over. I was actually wondering what, what did you look like? Cause right now you look like a giant. Yeah. You, you wouldn't't you wouldn't recognize me i imagine it was like 75 pounds less yeah no actually i was counting your ribs it's easy to do no no i was kind of i was a fat uh drug addict i couldn't i

mean i was in the bathroom i couldn't find a vein you know i look at all my veins now i'm like oh that would have been great but but um no just garden hoses running the just very very unhealthy you know and um we we did my my intake and the nurse that did my intake did all my vitals all that stuff and then i just went to my bed and sweated out for a couple of days and finally got to the point to where I was feeling good enough to get up and walk and go to my first group. Is that excruciating couple of days? Well, um, you know, the thing about, uh, opiate addiction, heroin addiction, um, you know, we are, we already went over the, the psychological part of, of but um you know your your body has all these you know uh opiate receptors you know um and um once it gets used to a certain

amount um it feels like that it needs that to function so the withdrawal is literally your body telling yourself it needs something and the the hardest part about withdrawal is is yeah the the physical part of it sucks so bad it's like the it's like the worst flu you've had times 20 um and you're hot and you're cold and i remember anytime i would go through withdrawal i just i'd take showers like just hot hot showers just to try to like relax me to a point where i could hopefully sleep you know and so i'd sleep for 20 minutes and be up again take another shower 20 minutes i mean it was just like this you know just trying to numb myself you know trying to sleep and um and so um you know and in a rehab facility they give you things to help you with

the withdrawal symptoms suboxone being one of them so you know if if you if you look at a a receptor if you think of it as like a uh like a a hole you know um what activates the dopamine is is when when the drug fills up this receptor, it releases the euphoric feeling, right? Well, Suboxone fills it halfway. So your body thinks it's getting it, but you're not going to get the high from it. You know what I mean? So it takes care of the withdrawal symptoms. And Suboxone, you know know in rehab facilities they they monitor your

your your medication make sure you take it um but um for me i i wanted to feel it um and suboxone is something you take sublingually you let it dissolve it under your tongue and then for 15 minutes and then you can spit it out or whatever and it gets in your system so they just made sure it got in my mouth and then i go spit it out or whatever, and it gets in your system. So they just made sure it got in my mouth, and then I'd go spit it out, you know, because I didn't. You can't die from opiate withdrawal. You can die from, like, alcohol withdrawal or benzos can kill you through withdrawal from seizures and stuff. So I knew when I was in a facility, you know, if I'm going to flatline, they got people there that can help me out.

So, you know, but I wanted to feel it, you know. I wanted to remember it. It was like a really important piece to actually your recovery for you mentally was overcoming the pain. Was that something? When did you start to recognize that you didn't want to be masking it because that that's what got me where i was you know um i got used to not feeling you know and then when you're coming out of something like that you feel everything

everything um you know it was uh it was a you know and it's it's a white knuckle couple days you know um then you start feeling a little better but you know something that messes up your you know from heavy opiate addiction is your digestive system so now it's waking up again and and you got to deal with that you know know, and you're weak, you know. And I just remember looking back how much of a pussy I was, you know. And I'd always been so drawn to bodybuilding was something that I was passionate about at a very young age. I had a lot of, you know, prominent mentors in my life that my football coach my wrestling coach he was a he was a bodybuilder um and that's what i wanted to be you know um and and those men you know aren't

aren't pussies you know so so i i completely lost my way and and and realized that that I was about as far away as you could get from what I wanted to be. And so, you know, I went through rehab. And so the second day I felt good enough to get up and go to the first group. And I'm walking through the hall, and the nurse that did my intake, she said, can I help you? And I said, no. She goes, well well this wing of the of the facility is

for patients who are you looking for I said I am a patient you did my intake she goes Randy I go yeah she's like you don't even look the same that's how far gone I was

you know like I looked like I had life again, you know. And so, you know, I started working the process, you know. And for me, it was more of I want to know what's going on with my brain, you know. I want a licensed, you know, professional to tell me what I can put in place to ensure that my brain is working properly and stuff like that. I didn't want to talk about my emotions. I didn't want to talk in a group setting. I didn't give a shit about anybody, you know. And so I was kind of fighting the process a little bit until we were in a group one night.

It was a family group, so your families could attend. So my mom came, and I said just that. I said, I want to know what's wrong with my brain. I want to know if I have a chemical imbalance. And it was a huge paradigm shift in thought in this moment because the counselor that was running the group said, So Randy, you need to realize something right now. You're in a building that's engulfed in flames and it's about to go down. Your mom just wants to get you out of the building.

And you're sitting there trying to talk about how the fire got started. And I was like, oh, shit. Okay. Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am. Let's work this recovery thing out. But still, I'm always an inquisitive person. I question everything.

And this gets right into my view of addiction. A lot of rehabs are run off the 12-step program, which is an amazing program, and a lot of people stay sober for a long time on it. But the first thing you have to do is to admit you're powerless over the substance that you are addicted to, and it didn't really quite equate with me.

If the substance that you are addicted to held within it all the power how could anybody ever get sober because it has all the control so for me it was like this is an ownership thing this is an accountability thing I need to start owning my shit you know and so much of addiction is focused on don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do do that. Don't do that. Don't think about the color red. Don't think about the color red. What are you thinking about? Right. So for me, it was like starting to train my brain to think about those things that were going to benefit my life. Um, so from there I moved to salt, uh,

from Salt Lake city to Las Vegas, Nevada to get sober. And, um, the logical place to go. I think we should go to Vegas. There's no drugs there. I've never had a limo driver not ask me if I needed something. You guys need anything for the night? I think I'm good.

I'm all about throwing myself into the fire. When I the night i think i'm good i'm all about throwing myself into the fire you know um so so um but when i when i got to las vegas um you know now i now i had to start dealing with the things that i was trying to suppress not only that but the things that i did to with throughout my addiction you know um when you're so heavily um addicted to a substance that makes you feel good, you're willing to do a lot of things that you compromise your initial moral compass. You don't have a moral compass anymore. You know, and so now I had to deal with the fact that I was that kind of person too. Do you remember the first step of kind of starting to hold yourself accountable for your actions?

Yeah. to hold yourself accountable for your actions yeah um in fact um when i got there my my mom i would i would just sleep and sleep and sleep because i didn't want to face reality i don't want to face all that stuff i and i would just sleep and my mom said um what do we what do we need to to get you going again and i said um just get me a gym membership. And we went down that day and got a gym membership. And I told myself that I would go every day. I didn't have to have a plan. I didn't have to know what I was training. And I wasn't in any kind of shape.

You know, I had no semblance of what a bodybuilder would look like you know and um and that was a hard thing to overcome knowing what i was to to what i became and then having to battle myself back through that process um but i did i i i held myself accountable to go every day every single day um i made a deal with myself that if I didn't feel like going, that I would at least get to the parking lot. And if by the time I got to the parking lot, I still didn't feel like going, then I could go home. Um, and, um, never, never went home, you know, um, went and did something. And when I started doing that and holding myself accountable, just to do that one action, um, I realized I could start placing things better. You know, um, I could go to this one place for 45 minutes to an hour and just, just forget about all the shit that's out there and just deal with this right now, you know? And, um, and that's where I started to redevelop my interpretation

for for pain you know I came to the premonition that we go to the gym and we're willingly putting ourselves through pain for growth you know and so you know you know there's different forms of pain physical emotional spiritual psychological but pain's pain right so so when you start to perceive pain in a in a light of of it's a necessity to, then any painful situation that you come across, you start to look for the growth in. And so, um, throughout that time, I was looking for a lot of answers. I'd read a lot of books, you know, on, um, one of the best books that really opened my eyes to, to struggle and, you know, uh, human resolve Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It's a good one.

I've read it. Yeah. You can read that in like a day. And it's a great, yeah. If you guys haven't read that, please go read it. It's a quick read, but it is so, I mean, he's a... You can overcome any how with a good why. Yep, yep, yep.

Any man can come over any why with a, or any how with a good why yep yep yep any any man can come any man can come over any why was it was it or any how was a good why yeah exactly and so with with that um i uh i started really like like i wasn't in a concentration camp you know i didn't have my freedom taken from me i didn't have my clothes taken from me i didn't have my well i don't have hair but i didn't have my clothes taken from me. I didn't have my, well, I don't have hair, but I didn't have my hair taken, you know what I mean? Uh, and, um, my dignity. Um, but this man did and, and he, he utilized it as an opportunity to, to tune in his craft of psychology. You can take all these things from me, but you'll never take my mind you know and so now it became more about just training in the gym to build my body it was it was literally a correlation of training my body to change train my mind it sounds like your mom was a a big part of this process and um you haven't mentioned your dad. Is there any relationship?

So about two years out of my sobriety, he died. My dad and I, growing up, you know, a boy wants to be with his dad. My mom and dad divorced when I was two. He lived in Oregon. My mom lived in Utah. So I was back and forth a lot. But my dad was an alcoholic, manic depressive, bipolar, suicidal, drug addictedaddicted person.

He didn't have a great upbringing. He dropped out of school in the seventh grade, and his life was, he was a car salesman. And so I remember one time my mom, I wanted to live with my dad, you know, and she said, just remember it's your dad's job to raise you, not your job to raise him. It didn't mean anything at that time to me, but throughout my childhood, there was a lot of that going on. I would, you know, constantly keep tabs on him you know i'm i'm a freshman in

high school and i'm spending my lunches at the payphone to call my dad to tell him hey i love you i'm here you know like we're gonna be okay like you're having a good day um you know and constantly just just reiterating to him You guys bring food around right now. If you could smell that on the microphones. Go ahead. Sorry. That's okay. So, you know, I think a lot of the initial things that I was dealing with stem from that portion of my life as well.

You know, I think a lot of people join the military to find answers for things or run from stuff. Or, you know, especially here in Fit Ops when a lot of these veterans get up to tell their stories, some of their trauma is pre-military. Yeah. You know. Almost all of the people we have interviewed this week, something happened. And actually, before we get too far away from, I wanted to follow up the question about your dad with your mom seems to be the caretaker. And often the caretaker becomes the enabler.

Oh, totally. Totally. What is a little bit of the process she has been through, if you're okay talking about it? Absolutely. There was one person that I could never be high around and that was my brother because we were we were uh we're 11 months apart and we know each other and he could tell right away he always called me out you know but i could be high around my mom all day and you know she wouldn't see it you know could she not see it or she just didn't want to see it she probably didn't

want to yeah you know but um at that time you know when you're when you're a veteran that's been in combat and stuff like that what do you how do you how if you haven't been there how can you translate you know what i'm going through you know learning all that this week yeah yeah so so i have i had no idea so it's more like uh holy shit, what do I do? There's only one thing I know how to do, and that's be a mom, you know, and make sure my boy's okay, you know. And I manipulated that. You know, I used it to my advantage, you know.

And so one of the people that kind of drove my addiction there towards the end was my dad. Yeah. Did you get high with your dad? All the time. Ah, there we go. All the time, yep. He had, when he died, he was being prescribed 580 oxycodone 30s a month. Jesus.

Whoa. 500 a month? and that's why he died that's 50 yeah you do the math on that like if you sleep eight hours you're taking a pill like every 45 minutes or something like that yeah oh my lord well yeah go ahead sorry i don't want to yeah so so you know i knew that that was a place I could, you know, get it. And I manipulated that relationship as well. And he did it in his favor too. You know, he knew that there were times that I needed it. And, you know, he would use it to get.

But I could see his struggle as well because his son's now a drug addict. You know, and his justification was getting prescribed it because he had a he had all of his cervical vertebrae fused and um you know uh thing about pain pills is you build up a tolerance and you know the uh i mean if i had my right mind about me when when he died and i wasn't so focused on on me getting better um i probably would have researched that more and see if there was any malpractice done there, you know, cause that just seems way too astronomical. And so he, he was 57, um, living in a, a hospice facility. Um, the nurse came to give him his morning medication and when she came back he was gone and um um that was about two years into me living in vegas and so um you know the the the i mean

when you're when you're an addict you can think of any reason to get high. You know, the sun's out, let's get high. Well, the sun's not out, let's get high. I'm awake, let's get high. I just took a shower, let's get high, you know. And now these traumatic events are happening in my life and, you know, still got to not get high, you know um and so you know in in retrospect now now that you're you're past that phase of of your life looking back you know especially if someone's listening to this and they have you know a friend or family member that they're genuinely concerned about but they don't know what to do um in your mind what what would have been the most beneficial when you were at rock

bottom what could someone have done to help you faster than you were helped well one of the one of the things i did take from rehab in the 12 steps is the the people places and things right um you know our our bodies even find ways to you know achieve the you know least path of resistance you know so when you're in this cycle of you know continuing to get high and you're around the same people and you go to the same places and you do the same things you get custom to that and you want to stay there right um so the best thing for me and and the advice i would give anybody would be to separate yourself from those people places and things that's why Las

Vegas was the option for me I knew I needed to get away from you know him and then my best my best friend that that was put doing chess conference we joined the army together you know we we were friends since the fifth grade like we were we knew he, he was my brother, you know. And, but these two people in my life were the ones, the people in this situation. And we were always in the same places doing the same things. And it was, it was never, it wasn't a healthy environment and so you know um you know going back to the initial um the initial thought the initial thought of of of my mom having to bury me you know i i knew that um i couldn't have have that so so that that's what what drove me to to move to las vegas and and you know completely on up to everything with with her you know and and you know for her i mean you asked what what her process

was like that i mean and and it was tough because she she didn't know you know and she felt like she failed because she she couldn't protect her her baby you know um and so the past seven years eight years um she's it's been it's been really my first goal my first goal with getting sober was making sure that she never had to worry about me you know because even for the first two years of the sobriety, I mean, you know, if I'm gone too long to the store, where were you, you know, or if I didn't, if I didn't feel good, you know, what's wrong, you know? So now it's like this whole redeveloping this relationship that isn't centralized around this addiction, you know, and letting her know I'm okay. I'm okay.

Shrug family, we're in the middle of the COVID-19 coronavirus and I have upped my green intake, upped my intake of greens. That's a real true story. I'm super prioritizing health and just my general hygiene. And part of that is the things that I'm putting in my mouth I'm just hyper aware because I want my system functioning perfectly and the truth is even when I'm home more I'm still not getting all the greens that I need I'm very lucky to have a whole freaking cabinet full of Organifi the greens and the reds and the golds they're delicious I take them all the time I put some almond milk in a shaker bottle. If you've got some vanilla protein, get after that.

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Organifi.com forward slash shrug drug to save 20%. And then our friends over at Bioptimizers, they have one of the most killer products. I'm actually writing a blog that's going out to our email list right now talking about the differences in consumption and digestion. So consumption is probably going to be, when we just talk about protein, the amount of protein that you eat. Digestion though is a very different thing because you can consume pounds and pounds of meat and still not digest any of the actual protein. And the big enzyme in your gut that's responsible for breaking protein down into amino acids, which then can be delivered to the muscles in your body is protease. And the

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So get over to masszymes.com forward slash shrugged, M-A-S-S-Z-Y-M-E-S, masszymes.com forward slash shrugged. You're going to save 20%. It's a beautiful product. I really enjoy it. And I think you should try it out. I think that everybody should understand enzymes and see the difference in how your body feels when you're actually taking a really high quality digestive enzyme. So masszymes.com forward slash shrug, save 20% getting back to the show. When you started training though, how, what was the process of getting in the gym? I know you said just showing up in the parking lot step one getting into the gym step two as you start to build new habits and as you start to find yourself and this new passion like

what is what is kind of like the timeline of getting back to being or not even getting back but becoming healthy again and like realizing you love lifting weights and this is your home? I'll tell you the exact moment. So I'm a competitive dude by nature, right? I love to compete. I wrestled. I played football. I just love going to battle. You know what I mean?

And the mentor in my life in high school my football he was a bodybuilder and he put me through the fire you know like there wasn't a leg day that i did with him that you know the first thing i would do when we go in the gym was where's the nearest trash can you know because i know i'm puking today for sure you know and so um and re-establishing that connection and the the best way to do it so the whole people places thing thing um that can go for the other way too right so i was training shoulders and um i decided that i would i would start with my rear delts um go to do my front delts do some pressing and uh so i was going to start on the rear pec deck fly,

but somebody was on it and was like, all right, readjust. So I started front, made it back, and then as I'm going to finish and do my rear delts, I see this guy walk up to the rear pec deck and he looked like a bodybuilder. And I said, were you going to use this? He's like, yeah. I was like, do you mind if I work in with you? Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. You know? And so we, you know, he had the animal shirt on, the animal bag, you know? And, you know, so we start talking. You compete, you know? And he's like, yeah. You know? And I was like, yeah, me too.

And what I really hated at that point in my life is when I said I – because I had done one show at that point. And when I said I was a bodybuilder, people would be like, really? So I had to pull out pictures and show them. He's like, oh, okay. And so we got talking, and he said, well, are you going to be here tomorrow? He's like, yeah, yeah. So we started training together.

Accountability. You have to show up for somebody. You're going to be here tomorrow? He's like, yeah, yeah. So we started training together, you know. Accountability. You have to show up for somebody. Yep. And that started the process again, you know, because now my goal is to catch him because I'm competitive, you know. And so my goal was to get to his level, you know. Did he know your story? Bits and pieces. I mean, we developed a – he's my best friend, you know.

And we hung out together, we trained together, and we compete together, you know and um we we hung out together we trained together and we compete together you know um and he was a he was a big role in all of it you know and i remember i remember uh it's about two about three months into training together and we're training legs i said all right i'm gonna go rep for rep with this motherfucker. Rep for what? Same weight. That was my goal that training session. And, you know, when people look at, you know, the long road of recovery, you know, the focus is on where they end up.

Oh, my God, you're amazing. You don't see the little wins, you know. And that day was, at that time, the biggest win I had, you know. And it just kept building from there. And then I was managing GNCs at that point. You know, my mom, again, she's's like so i'm training again she's like why don't you get a job yeah what were you doing for money at the time nothing nothing i lost lost everything just staying with my mom trying to figure out what i'm going to do and that was the other thing like holy shit now i'm a convicted felon what kind of job can i get you know so i i

went to i i had previously worked at gnc up in utah and um so i went into a gnc in las vegas and asked for their hiring and that i'd been you know i worked at gnc before i was a manager you know and um he's like are you rehirable and i said well yeah i left on good term so they they figured out yep you're hired so so the day my mom told me to get a job that's the first place i went came back i got a job she's like shit me that's all i had to say you know so um and uh uh so you know fast forward um about uh three years into it um four years into it, if I do the math right, yeah, Mr. Olympia was in town. And Performix had reached out to my area manager to see if there were anybody that could come work the booth at Performix because they were a little short-handed and you know I fit

the profile it's much I mean it's my it's my Super Bowl you know like I go Olympia every year you know and I've been going for years and it's it's my it's like it's like Christmas for me you know I'm around my people you know and so work in the booth performix booth and at that time you know i had realized you know um what i needed to do to beat my demons and utilize the gym to do so but i was still struggling with what what's next what's the purpose what like and i and i was like god damn i wish something existed that could help you know know, veterans overcome this shit. That utilized fitness as a means to do so.

I came up with a name. Fit after the fight. I had a mission statement. I had, you know, a great idea, right? But I didn't have the means. I didn't have the ability. I didn't have the opportunity. I didn't have the money.

It was just a good idea, you know. And so I'm working the booth. And, you know, Matt Hesse was there. And, you know, he's like, thank you guys. You know, really appreciate the help. By the way, PerformX is funding a new nonprofit called Mission Next, which is going to help veterans that are struggling with PTSD and addiction issues to overcome their struggles through fitness by making them personal trainers. And I said, am I being punked right now? Did you steal my idea?

Where's Ashton? And so I said, well, that's my story. And they're like, holy shit. Like, we haven't even done a class yet. We're just marketing this right now. It's our idea. And I go, and he said, well, we want you to come out and help do interviews for the first class. And come and participate in the first class.

Hell yeah, let's do it, you know? And, um, all I can attribute that to is, is, you know, you know, you talk, a lot of people talk about success and the, and the, what, what they define as success and how to, how to get there, you know? Um, You can't fake heart and you can't fake passion, you know. And if you put enough of that out into the universe, it'll find you. You know, I didn't find fit ups, fit ups found me. And so went to the first class and magic happened, you know. It was this environment where, but I mean, and at that time, nobody even knew what it was like these veterans that signed up to be part of the first

class. There was no like, you know, Instagram or, you know, commercials or sponsors or anything. It was like, you're going to do what now? Like, like everybody's pretty reluctant, like, sure, we're going to go to the middle of Texas and get murdered, you know? And so, so, and, and we didn't even know what it really looked like, you know? Um, so the first class was, um, it was pretty, pretty special. Um, um, something that we do here at, Office is what we call Performax Talks and we didn't even have a name for it at that time but Matt Hesse got up and he owned a shit he told a story

he talked about shit that he hasn't even talked about with his wife and laid it all out there and when you're looking at a man that's just been so successful and proud and has one of the best supplement companies in the world and and he's up there laying his baggage out and it's like and all of a sudden everybody there gets a green light to do the same you know so if you want to come up and share your story please do you know and at up to that point, I had hidden my story. I didn't want anybody to know that.

It was a black mark on my life. I didn't think that, I thought it was the reason I wasn't going to be the person that I could have been. You know, I thought I'm always going to have this black mark on my life. And it's going to define who I am, you know. And so I got up and, uh, told my story and, uh, it was, uh, it was a huge turning point in my life because, because now I felt like this weight was just lifted. It didn't own me anymore. I owned it, you know, um, and, uh, and even something better happened after that.

Everybody came up to me and said, thank you. That helped me, you know, Mike, Mike Gerardo, one of the first candidates to fit ops struggling with heroin addiction. And, uh, um, he was, he was battling through a little bit of withdrawals when we interviewed him. And he came to the course looking for answers too, I think, and didn't know what he was going to get into. And that happened. And he's at TCU right now working for a psychology degree, you know, um, that's what this stuff does, you know, being able to be vulnerable and share your story and,

and what you overcame. And, and, um, it, it's a message to the rest of the world that you're not alone. Like there's other people doing it too and if and i've never thought of myself as anything special like i've never given myself enough credit you know um because i feel like anybody could do it you know and so you know being a part of the first class was was amazing and then we like yeah, we got something here for sure. And then they had me back for the second class as a squad leader. I had more magic. And then I came back for the fourth class and ended up directing that one.

And that's where I met Bobby Summers. And he was lost. He didn't know what to do. You know, he came into FitOps looking for answers again, just like anybody else. You know, we put the, you know, the law in front. Personal training, come work out for three weeks and three weeks and you know get away but you know and then we we have this community contract you know things that you can buy but you know um you

know obviously you can't have any drugs or you know any prescription we need to know about it's about keeping everybody safe essentially um and so the first night of fit ops class four i told my story again and cried and you know laid it all out and and bobby actually got up and walked out because he's like i'm not doing this you know you guys tricked me fuck this no i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna be part of this and and we're like just just give us a couple days you know be okay you'll be okay, you know. So the first morning of PT, he walks up to me. Isn't it weird that he just walked by? He's always around me. Oh, right.

He's always in my mind. Now I just get to see him. Yeah. And he walks up to me, and he's sweating, and his eyes are big and round. And he goes, Mr. Randy, I need to talk to you. And I go, what's up, man? He goes, for the past five years, I've been off my psych meds because I didn't like the way they make me feel. But I've been heavily medicating myself with THC oils.

But I knew I couldn't bring them here. And I almost didn't come because of that. I threw them out of my car on the way to the airport. And I had an anxiety attack on the plane and almost got off before they closed the doors but something told me i had to be here so i'm here but i'm freaking the fuck out man i said you want to go train just me and you want to train? Anything. Can we train legs? Yeah. Would you like to throw up?

We can do that. So we had a little gym on facility there and, you know, warmed up with some extensions, curls, and then my go-to is 10 sets of 10 on the leg press, you know, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth back and forth back and forth right something about german volume training it's very healing you find your soul in there somewhere you lose it for a second then you get it back yeah yeah and so i did 10 front squats two days ago and i'm still i'm still feeling that plenty plenty yep yep so i mean i mean the trick

is to keep the pace on them yeah keep the pace the pace, keep the pace, keep the pace. You know, I'm not a power lifter. I'm not going to sit there and talk about every set for two hours before I do another one. You know what I mean? So, we... No dig on you power lifters. A little dab, a little dab of power lifting. You emotional human beings.

I got love. I got love. It's it. You know, everybody's got to find their kung fu. Totally. You know? Sure. Whether it's CrossFit, powerlifting,

bodybuilding. Mine's bodybuilding. I respect anybody that takes ownership and accountability and uses some type of fitness to better their lives. Bobby, we're in the fourth set. I think I'm going to

throw up. Cool. There's a trash can right there. I'll do my set. Puke. And then it's your set. You know. Not giving him. Not coddling him.

Not, you know, oh, are you okay? You know, he's had enough of that shit. Cool. Get your set. And then, you know, I puke. And I'm waiting for him. Still your set. You know.

Get in. Went through all 10 sets of 10. And then we, well, I walked downstairs he hobbled and then we finished with walking lunges in the hall there and and after we're done he's sprawled out on the floor breathing and breathing, and I lean over him, and I said, you feel that, Bobby? You're feeling again. You've been numbing yourself for so long that you don't know what it is to feel. Welcome back, you know, and that whole class, Bobby Summers came, you know, and he told his story. And he knew it was okay to cry. You know, it was okay to be vulnerable.

He knew it was okay, you know, and he was in a place he could do it, you know. And if you want to know who Bobby Summers is, go pick up your latest edition of Muscle & Fitness Magazine. He's in it. I cried six minutes into that interview. For anyone listening, we did a show with Bobby, and his story is worth listening to. So that's FitOps.

There's so much narrative in the veteran community that we're broken, that we need assistance, we need help, we need, you know, and you've got a lot of these organizations that just give, give, give, which is, intentions are true and good, I think, you know, but what I love about FitOps is we're not giving anything. We're showing you what you still have, you know, and how to utilize it in the civilian sector, you know. You know, because there's one thing that, there's two things that I know for sure. One, that I was a member of the greatest military

that's ever existed on this planet. And with that came more than a uniform and deployment and some issues it came with a set of values and skills that if you interpret into into any life that you could be you could live a fulfilling beautiful life you you know. And so FitOps gives these veterans that opportunity to translate those skills into another facet of life, which, I mean, personal training is perfect because not only are you continuing to hold yourself accountable to a certain standard, which you have to do in the military,

and then with FitOps you're part of a community of brotherhood, sisterhood, you know, a sense of belonging again. But you also have the ability to do what we're so passionate about, what we're so passionate about, which is serve and give back, you know. And, you know, since Fit ops um after that first class um uh my best friend demetrius amore uh he uh he did he did a show and um and we and i was i was i was so proud you know i was there you know it was it was like like that's me on stage too. You know, like I went through the fire with that guy.

Like, you know, and, you know, this is, I feel like something that's being lost in the fitness community. You know, it's all about the placing and all this stuff. But, like, for me, it's the journey. You know, like we had a goal and we achieved it. And it's there. And he's there, and I'm up there with him. And the next day, we went out to eat, and he looked at me and said, He said, you're up. Okay.

All right. So I started getting ready for a show um and i did uh my first show it was a southeast texas championship um and uh um and the reason we did that show mike gerardo did that show too you know he did his first physique competition at that show and um and it was my it was my welcome back i'm a bodybuilder again you know um that was painful painful prep too i was around 245 when i started prep and 16 weeks later i was at 176 all right and um and then that's where the accountability portion came in because i never wanted to lose that again you know and so um my goal at that point was to stay you know under 200 and then get ready for another show so the next show I did was

in uh the Samson Showdown in Las Vegas Nevada um 2017 um won my class, got nationally qualified in 2018, and then did USA's in 2018 as well. I always want to step on a national stage. How good can you know you are until you're standing up there with the best you know and uh i i cracked the top 10 you know i placed seventh at that show and um and i was already you know with a qualification you you can you can do a national show the year you qualify and then the whole year after so the whole next year was getting ready for USA's again and so last year 2019 I did USA's again didn't place as well but I mean bodybuilding is a subjective sport I look better than I did the previous year and that was the only goal I had you know so um

I went from uh struggling with, not knowing what to do, coming out of heroin addiction, not knowing where my life was going to go, to being a part of an organization that changed my life and many others' lives, and nationally qualified bodybuilder, and I'm just getting started. And I'm here for the fifth class. When you attack your bodybuilding career now, do you have a good relationship with the process versus where you stand on stage at the end of the day? My motivation with bodybuilding is solely the process.

If I get a pro card, great. If I place top five, great. What bodybuilding is for me is it goes back to the correlation of growth pain. Putting yourself willingly through prep is a painful process. process you know and for me um you know i came face to face with the you know uh especially deep in prep my strengths and my weaknesses because you don't have the energy to fake it you know so when i go when i put myself through a prep it's with the intent of learning what do I need to work on as a man, as a human, you know. Competing is a byproduct of my passion, you know. And so the goal always is to beat the guy that was on stage before, you know,

physically and mentally, you know. And so I take notes during my prep, you know, what I need to work on, what I need to work on. Do you publish those anywhere? No. Maybe one day, you know. You know, I mean, I feel like I'm still really, really new to this journey of who I am and what I meant to be.

And, and, um, you know, a lot of the things I've learned through my process, I, which is what I love about FitOps is I've been able to impart on people that are going through the same struggle. Um, you know, eventually, you know, I think I'd, I'd like to, you know, start a, you know, a blog or, you know, podcast or, or, or write a book or something like that to, to, you know, cause it's, you know, the, the power of, of, and, and, and Matt Hesse, uh, really put this in my head. Um, He said, your story and your vulnerability is your power. That's the stuff that changes the world. And so, now,

from the first class of FitOps, where I told my story, I found myself three months ago sitting at home. and said, we're going to do a segment with CBS Evening News with Norah O'Donnell. And we'd like to highlight one of our veterans that's been through the program. And we want you to come and tell your story. You know, and at that point, it's like, I heard time telling my story in front of 20 people now i gotta tell them for 20 million you know so um but but you know i trust matt you know i trust matt with everything i got and i said and not only that but i'll do anything for fit ops absolutely let's do this you know so um the segment aired on veterans day you know and uh really put uh really put fit ops in the light you know and it was it was my not not only my honor and pleasure

but it was my my duty yeah um one thing i'm very interested in actually is you're in the bodybuilding world um that is a world that is riddled with drugs um what is your relationship with drugs now and um how do you deal with it um so you know i i actually do a lot of coaching as well now um and one one common theme i'm finding with a lot of these young guys coming up in the in the sport is um what do i take what do i take what do i take you know um my question is what are you doing what are you eating how are you training you know because you know you can take all the shit you want in the world. If those two things aren't first and foremost, then it doesn't matter. You're going to just be angry and horny.

You know what I mean? Not a good combination, you know. So, you know, I think a lot of performance enhancers, you know, get shed under that umbrella of, you know, extreme, they help the process by helping you do what you do, um, more frequently and, um, help the food move, you know, do what it's supposed to do better. You know, it's, it's, but it can't happen without the work, you know? So, so I've had some guys that, you know, give me a list of things they've taken and it's like, holy shit, like, I don't even know what four of those things are, you know so so i've had some guys that you know give me a list of things they've taken and it's like holy shit like i don't even know what four of those things are you know and you've done more shit than i ever have yeah yeah and you're 22 and you're not big yeah you know so

we need to do some restructuring here you know and so i feel like you know another kind of one of my purposes is is to bring back within the bodybuilding community what i came up in you know which was my coach tony mcgoogle he he put me through it you know i mean the the the type of training that i i went through with that man um is something that I pull back on for motivation now there was one point he's my wrestling coach too and it just so happened that he would give me rides home from practice and so you know after practice one day I walk up to him like hey you ready to go home he's like yeah in a minute um I'm tired of seeing you get your ass kicked I'm like what so he takes me down and he goes we're not leaving until you get up and so started fighting trying to get up knock me down started fighting mean, this guy's steel.

You know, he's hard. I mean, and he knows how to wrestle. He's coaching the show, you know. So I can't get up. I can't get up. I can't get up. I can't. I keep trying to get up.

I keep trying to get up. I keep trying to get up. I keep trying to get up. And we're there for 45 minutes, you know. And he goes, you need to get mad, you know, and so finally got just fucking mad and blew up, got his hands, fought him off, and got up, and okay, let's go, you know, and through the darkest times of my addiction and coming through that shit, I just kept hearing his voice, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up.

You know, so anytime I got knocked down, get up, get up, get up. Get up. And so what I'm able to help people do now is, you know, bodybuilding and hard training is always viewed as something so physical. It's a very small portion of it. It's mental. It's all mental. You know, your mind will tell you to give up before your body will, you know, and if you believe it, you will, and so when somebody wants to train with me, I find that, I find that point in which they tell themselves they can't do it. Recently, I had an experience with a man that came into my store at GNC,

and we got to talking, and he beat cancer. And he's kind of inundated himself in the bodybuilding community, and he's lost like 50 pounds. And he saw me, and he's asking a lot of questions, and he's like, I'd love to train with you. I'd love to train with you. I questions. And he's like, I'd love to train with you. I'd love to train with you. I'd love to train with you. I'd love to train with you.

And every time he came in, I'd love to train with you. And then a few weeks ago, he said, you know, I'd still really love to train with you. And I said, what are you training tonight? He said, legs. Cool, mate. Always legs, yeah. They choose it. I'm doing biceps they they choose it how brutal would be like we're doing arms really we're gonna fucking arms today we're gonna curl you

want to breach your curls until you throw up yeah right i can i can probably make that happen it's all about pace anyway um so i said cool meet me at the gym at nine i'll do legs with you. And we go through extensions. My plan was to do superset hack squats and leg press and just keep the pace on them, keep the pace on them. Somebody was on the leg press, so I was like, all right, we'll just knock the shit out of them with hack squats first. And just kept the pace on them just kept the pace on him, kept

the pace on him, kept the pace on him. Then we go to the leg press, and, you know, I put five plates on each side, and he looks at me and goes, I've never done that much weight. You know, I got a pretty good gauge of what his strength level was at this point through the hack squats, and I know this leg press very well it's it's it's pretty um pretty smooth and and it can seem daunting but you can put a lot of plates on that thing and and still still move it so five plates i didn't think was very very hard especially from what he showed me already and so um he goes i've never i've never done that much i can't i can't i can't do that and I looked at him

and I said I bet you didn't think you could beat cancer either get in the fucking get in the hole all you gotta do is push and then one thing Tony always told me is I'll never ask you to do something I don't think you can do

so I told him I'll never ask you to do something I don't think you can do. So I told him, I'll never ask you to do something I don't think you can do. Get in there. And he got in, and not only did he do ten reps, he went up another plate and did ten more. You know, and then he went and puked. But, you know, when somebody gets, you know, motivated about wanting to be in the bodybuilding world, they see all the lore and the glory and the end result of all the hard work. And they don't really put an emphasis on the truly hard work, you know.

And so it was my introduction for him and what bodybuilding really is, you know. And, you know, he, the night before I came here, he came over, you know. And, you know, now he's, it's clicking with him, you know. And there's nothing more gratifying to see when that switch turns on, you know what I mean. And he gets it he gets it now i know it's his not only his physical uh ability but his mental as well some people just need to be introduced to it you know and so that's my that's my language you know that's how i i help people realize what their true power is because it's such an easy correlation you know when you really start to you really start to dissect the you know all pain is is the same the mental emotional physical

now pain is is is growth you know in every situation breakups, death, losing a job, you know, whatever the case, or something that you had absolutely nothing to do with, you had nothing to do with it, you know, you're at a red light, somebody rear ends you, you know, what do you do? fucking grow you know figure it out move forward get up get up get up

you know and you know I alluded to the fact that the worst thing about my addiction was how much of a pussy I felt like you know and and how much of a pussy I felt like, you know, and how much of a victim I was making myself, you know.

Well, this happened to me, this happened to me, this happened to me, this happened to me. And now it's, what are you going to do about it, you know? I'm not a victim. And I never will be. You know? And so, I do a lot of, I study a lot on philosophers and deep thinkers for time.

Socrates, you know, Buddha, Copernicus, Galileo, Nietzsche, and, you know, one thing that's universal, a common denominator with all of them is struggle is part of it. Life is pain. Once you start to accept the fact that life is pain and it's going to be painful whether you have something to do with it or not, it doesn't own you. You accept it and you do what you have to do to move forward from it, you know. And that's what bodybuilding taught me and now I get to teach so

and I'm still learning too I'm still I'm always a student you know and I always will be you know but you know

I think people go their whole lives without not knowing what their what their purpose is you know or what their impact is going to be on the world. I can tell you without a doubt I found mine.

Without a doubt. And FitOps is what made me realize I could do it. So it's a beautiful thing, man. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. And. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing, so. And it's been, you know, there's two things that I've been a part of in my life that I'm proud of more than anything. Serving my country was number one.

Being part of Fit ops is number two um dude where can people learn more about all this with you what do you mean where can they find you how do they connect with you so yeah i mean i'm obviously on instagram i you know and that i hate asking at the end of this but someone's going to want to reach out to you. Absolutely. Who you've inspired during this. I welcome all comers. I just, you know, my handle is Bulldog Lloyd. I have a hard time on social media, you know. I really.

We all do. Don't worry. Even if you're good at it, you have a hard time with it. But it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing that you're able to connect with people from so many different platforms. And that's the beautiful thing about it is you're not alone, right? Somebody's going through what you've gone through. What's special is you're not special.

Whatever you're going through, a million people have gone through and a million more people are going to go through. You know, you've got veterans that are on the side of the freeway begging for money and you've got veterans that own supplement companies. You know, what's the difference? You know, so being able to attach yourself to those people that have gone through and triumphed over the struggles that you might be struggling with yourself. That's a beautiful thing, you know. I mean, most of my clients don't even, I mean, they live in different states, you know. I haven't met some of them, you know.

But, you know, one thing that I do with my coaching is the constant check-ins, and those aren't just pictures. Let's have a conversation. How was this week? How did you feel? And then you're able to talk to them about what the mental side of that is. And also help them appreciate the journey, because guess what you just did this week?

You achieved something you got all your meals in you did all you went through every training session i gave you that's what we call discipline and this shit only works if you're consistent you know there's no magic pill there's not a steroid you can take that'll get you to the olympia stage alone yeah you know um so so you know helping them realize that you know yeah have a goal in mind do a show if that's the goal but what what's the deeper meaning behind doing that show yeah you know what's your why and you know you help them realize that why and and and you know the the monetary value i get from it is is is minuscule compared to the the spiritual and emotional value i get from it you know when when one of my clients says

holy shit like like you know i get one of my guys in today. He's three weeks out from a show, you know. He's eating a lot of food still, you know, and getting super peeled, you know. And he didn't see it. Peeled. Remember that one. That's what Corey Greger always calls it. Really? Whenever I hear that term, I always think of Corey.

Yeah, and it's his first show. It's his first show. It looks great. It's going to do great. But, yeah, Bulldog Lloyd, that's my handle. And happy to chat with anybody that might be going through a struggle or, you know, just want to talk, you know. Doug Larson, dude, I'm so happy for you.

Thank you. I'm happy you pulled yourself out of a dark spot and you found Pit Ops and you kind of have your crew now. It's pretty special. It's really awesome. Thank you guys for coming here. I think one thing that organizations like this need more exposure.

Obviously, you guys have that exposure. Thank you so, so, so, so much for being here. It's an honor to have you guys here. You bet. Thank you for having us. Absolutely. Anytime. We feel very welcome here. I know. I've been crying guys here. You bet. Thank you for having us. Absolutely. Anytime. We feel very welcome here. I've been crying for the last half hour. I see that. Fit Ops does that.

You can find me on Instagram at Douglas E. Larson. I'm Anders Varner at Anders Varner. We're the Shrug Collective at Shrug Collective. There's a lot of places you can find us, but I'm just going to say see you guys next week that's a wrap my friends make sure you reach over tell the person in your family that you love them hug them a little tighter gym owners we love you athletes we love you thank you for letting barbell shrug be a part of your life we're gonna be here every wednesday and um and monday which is exciting stuff lots of recording to do lots of keeping strength conditioning at the forefront of your brain. Most importantly, give somebody a hug. Tell them you shrugged for bioptimizers. Masszymes, digestive enzymes.

Save 20% at masszymes.com forward slash shrugs. Friends, have a great week. We will see you on Monday.