Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 101: Autumnal Reviews

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

This week we explore our new favorite place to find reviews: QVC. It inspires Alex to start his campaign to become one of their next presenters, and it inspires Christine to start writing her new screenplay Alvin and the Chipmunks: After Dark.  Get your Karma Back To You pin before they sell out! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. I thought you were saying three, 2, 1, go. I know. Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode 101, Dalmatians. Oh, you.

Such a kidder. Such a kidder. No, we don't have a theme for this we didn't have a theme because we did our special last week so instead we thought we'd just bring you some fun times yeah we don't usually bring fun times so this week we thought why not just you know let loose and bring some fun to the table but i want to first say thank you to everybody who was so kind about our 100th episode everybody i feel like most people are very i mean if you weren't if you didn't like it you were you didn't tell me so i'm appreciative of that yes everybody we appreciate you people too that if you hated it you kept it

yeah i appreciate that deeply um basically if you didn't listen it was i i took one review from every i took my favorite review from every episode we've done so far but it ended up being only part one because it was two and a half hours of of just the first 50 episodes but there's a lot of good ones in there there's dorcas um is in there there's the 10 renaissance paintings in there and there are a lot of things that alexander when i showed it to him um before it went out he had he like didn't remember them so if you haven't re-listened episodes before i would highly recommend listening to it because it is it's like the the creme de la creme of all our um of all our reviews so far yeah because i

often forget these references we make and i'm sure some of you do too so it's a good way to study and make sure that you're ready for future episodes where references might appear exactly that's exactly it and then part two is going to come out at some point I don't think we've planned when yet but getting that together as well um so thanks everybody for being so kind So then this week we were like, what should we do? And we decided, you know what? We're still in autumn, so we will do some autumnal reviews. We've said the word autumnal so many times that it's about time we just do an autumnal episode. Yeah, just like give in and give up. I, before we get into this, need to take my antidepressants.

Oh, okay. I just took mine. So I guess I was a little more prepared but and a little less depressed well i wouldn't go that far this is a stable podcast i promise we haven't recorded in a couple it's been a while uh we forgot how this works so alexander we have autumnal reviews now uh i decided that i was i didn't decide it but i kind of went a little crazy on the redemptions okay it was an accident but it just happened um so how many do you have total no it's more content is good i'm just worried i didn't no no you brought plenty

that's why i wanted to warn you because I was like, I overdid it. Well, I have five regular and then five redemptions. Wow. But they're short. They're like mini ones. You always bring this up as if I'm going to be mad or something. I know, but I swear I'm not going to be mad if you have. It's more editing.

I mean, you know, so. Yeah, that's true, actually. Never mind. Yeah, I am mad now. Go take your pill and be quiet. Okay. No, I have six with zero redemptions okay so um why don't you go yeah i'll start i'll start yeah unless you want to do a a run through all your redemptions at the end well um i'm gonna have to do that

anyway once we start going back and forth so true um okay so the first thing i did which this is kind of like a little out there but but i wanted to find reviews of recipes and i i know we've tried that before but it's really hard to search for them unless you're looking for like a specific phrase um so instead what i did is i remember this account that i follow called new ny times cooking comments have you seen this account that I follow called New York NY Times cooking comments have you seen this account on Instagram I don't I don't think I have oh it's so funny it's basically they screenshot like people's comments on recipes um oh no so I have some um Thanksgiving themed uh comments from their account that made me laugh. So here's the first one. This is a review by George.

George says, this is a good crust recipe, but a correction needs to be made about who created this recipe. My grandmother had almost the same recipe in her box dated 1973. The only difference was a little less water. I only note this because while I am a great fan of the America's Test Kitchen and all the work they do to discover great recipes, they rarely cite the original recipe and those folks who made it first deserve the credit. Using vodka is an old but good trick. Now there's a response by Leslie here.

Yes, please, Leslie. Let's admit that you rated this person's grandmother's recipe box please leslie says no i think it was my uncle ferber from the old country who brought the recipe over in the sole of his shoe when he came over on the ss nitpicker in 1889 for a second i thought wait is this the one that i'm supposed to be making fun of the second one i'm gonna oh i see oh my gosh people are so silly like some of the comments are just wild and um i have one more that just goes hand in hand here this is another new york times cooking comments review by cassandra my in-laws loved this however my father-in-law wouldn't stop writing me about the lack of grill

lines as seen in the photo oh cassie you can't even get the lines right and all that this time around the problem was solved enter one sharpie marker like those lines enjoy the steak richard p.s love your margarita recipe end of review so that's the thanksgiving series from new york times cooking comments thank you very much uh to that account they're very funny and i highly recommend you follow them i will i will personally i thought well actually i was talking to my friend ste Steven. And first, I was trying to come up with autumnal activities, fun things to go do. And then I said, what else do you think of? And he said, leaves. So I said, okay, I'm going to look up a leaf blower on Amazon.

Oh, that's fun. So my first review is of the Black & Decker LSWV36 Lithium Blower Slash Vacuum. Reviews of the Black & Decker LSWV36 Lithium Blower Slash Vacuum. This is a review by Louise. One star. Verified purchase. I never bought this. I don't even know what it is.

End of review. Verified purchase. Verified purchase. Something is afoot. Something is afoot. And it's probably this person's son-in-law yeah oh the son-in-law i would think it's usually the it always is uh alexander speaking of which i just got a notification the other day that somebody purchased something on my amazon account and it was an it was it just this reminded me it was an episode of

below deck the trashy reality show okay is that you no i swear it wasn't me who did that okay that i know i remember at our house my amazon was the one that we were always yeah that's why i'm confused same thing at my like i blaze was at work uh i was outside with mom like throwing candy at children from afar on halloween and all of a sudden that's so weird i got an email saying thank you for your purchase of it said below deck season two episode five how specific yeah it was very weird so i don't know like if anybody knows who did that i don't know what you guys would okay we need we need to watch that specific episode and figure out what in there would appeal to someone we know look for clues look for clues maybe ma did you go home like to the and add your amazon to her devices okay did you give your information to francisca for some reason could be francisca

but i can't imagine she'd be watching that show even if she did i don't understand why also if anyone's wondering below deck as far as i know i've never seen it is um is a show about like the people who work on these luxury yachts it's a reality show about like the staff who work on these like luxury cruise lines and yachts and things like that um so i don't know who in the hell bought that on my account and it's not that i care it was like three dollars so i was like it's not like i'm you know but still that shows that somebody's using it that's weird anyway sorry i didn't mean to take away from any of you know who it is from the leaf blower. If any of you know who it is. From the leaf blower drama, but. All right, my turn?

Yes. Okay. How did we get? Wait, how did? Oh, I guess it was somewhat relevant. Oh, I was. I forgot who had read the last review and I thought, how did we get where we got? You said something about, oh, I didn't purchase this leaf blower.

Yes. And then I said, well, I didn't purchase this. This is season two, episode five. Oh, boy. Okay. And I said, well, I didn't purchase this. This is season two, episode five. Oh, boy.

Okay. This is a review of Pecan Pie Bites Candle by Yankee Candle. It started off good. I know. I looked at a lot of candles with really questionable autumnal scents. This is one of the more questionable ones. I know. I say pecan, pecan.

I don't know. It doesn't matter. I say pecan now. Pecan pie. I feel like that's the more questionable ones. I know I say pecan, pecan. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I say pecan now. Pecan pie. I feel like that's the one people make less fun of you. Pecan pie bites candle by Yankee Candle. This is a one star on the Yankee Candle website by Hearthside. So their account is clearly proving something, trying to prove something.

They have an aesthetic. They have an aesthetic, even on their anonymous profile. Okay, one star. You can't just mix edible with inedible. With bottom notes of oak and cedar, this is not a pie i want to eat nor is it terribly sweet i think it would have been more advantageous to add praline butter or brown sugar as a base note i feel this candle was poorly executed end of review okay i was very confused i thought wait isn't this a candle you don't have to eat it it's not the rule here doesn't it sound like they're eating it yes it sounded like the recipe is all wrong i know it sounded like my recipe

but uh wait what company is this serenity by jan no but close yankee candle oh okay oh a lesser lesser competitor yeah wow what the heck are they doing with this candle no no no stop it whatever you're doing stop i mean even if you're not eating it and you're sitting there wafting it toward you and saying what base notes it has stop doing that because nobody's really asking for that and you're gonna get a headache maybe they're a super smell a super sniffer super smeller i feel like and it just really bothers them i guess but i feel like if you are a super smell sniffer smeller um you would probably wouldn't be like constantly smelling yankee

candles because i feel like your head would probably explode i don't know maybe maybe your apartment has these weird faint terrible smells so you need to cover them up with something i guess so oh i guess you're saying like they can smell the terribleness of other things so then they get something to mask it and they say no no only praline butter will do only praline butter will do i wonder if super smellers are really good at making candles i i don't know if those would go hand in hand let's you know what let's put one in a room with some wax and a bunch of ingredients and see what they come up with and a pecan pie um we do have to make them sign a waiver in case they do eat it because it seems like people are

very confused about what to do with these people are so i just want to say you can't mix edible with inedible it's like but that's like literally love the candles it is right like and they said you should have added pray i think what they're saying is if you have a pecan scented candle right you shouldn't add notes of oak cedar because you can't eat a tree right a tree right i get you unless it's cinnamon i get you because you can't eat cinnamon so i think edible candles not edible candles well tm tm tm tm tm tm tm don't steal that idea everybody don't put our last name on that i I want nothing to do with it. She for madness. No. Has gotten even madder.

I think I don't like candles. This is hear me out, everybody. I don't like candles that smell like food because I'm like, I'd rather have food that smells like food. You know what I mean? Like, I don't like vanilla cupcake candles because I'm like, I'd rather just not have than I want a cupcake. And then I'm like, but I don't have.

It's just weird to me, I guess. But also, I don't know. How would you feel if you bought an oak or a cedar pine, I don't know, candle. Yeah. And it said on there, notes of boysenberry and pie crust or something weird. Well, considering I would literally never eat boysenberry and or pie crust, I think that's okay. It's inedible to me.

We got into a big argument. But your instinct wouldn't be to leave a one-star review as Hearthside. Oh, well, Hearthside Jr. Hearthside was taken. Hearthside Jr., okay. But I will say we got into a big argument on our patreon live because i don't like pie and i'm just gonna put this out there to the masses i only like pecan pie and like key lime pie and that kind of thing so you do like

pie just not all pies i don't like like thanksgiving yourself i don't like pie crust don't give these people more ammunition okay yeah listen i'm just not a pie person okay just leave me alone that's fine yeah i do like pie a lot i know we argued about it for about 25 minutes on patreon and then we lost like 85 patrons that's not true oh i mean not true. Maybe it is. I didn't check. Okay. My next one is of Virtue Cider. It's a cidery in Fenville, Michigan. This is a three-star review by Rebecca. Virtue has always been a go-to place for our extended family outings.

It's a great place for young and old and in-betweeners. Cider, food, and the atmosphere of outdoor tables, fire pits, and spotted pigs make for a place to linger, drink, and relax. That is why everyone was disappointed to have playing over the outdoor speaker don't trust a hoe. Modales is right across the street.

Go there. End of review. Oh my God, the song by LMFAO? No, it's 303, even worse. Oh, 303. Nothing against 303. Same difference. But I read Don't Trust a Ho,

and I said, why does that sound familiar? Then I looked up the song, and I was like, oh my God. Don't Trust a Ho, Don't Trust Me. Trust Me trust me yeah it's called don't trust me by 303 i'm pretty sure katie perry's in that music video really i only know this because i just watched a bunch of music videos and she was like why did you listen to this and i was like i don't know don't ask me questions like that i think i yeah i'd see that's the thing. I would be upset mainly because why are we listening to this? And this was written in 2020. Why are we listening to the song in 2020? Yeah, it seems like maybe that's now on an oldies station.

Maybe they had the oldies station on. No, I personally. Best oldies for the old crooners. Hey, I'm going to admit, I started playing that song. I listened to the whole thing. I didn't, I didn't stop.

It's catchy as heck. I no shame here. I don't believe in guilty pleasures. That was a pleasure. Let me say that. I guess like the word says, Oh, but like, okay.

The lyrics are pretty like Christina. I was surprised. If anybody is like, I don't know what that that is they're just hating all of this right now but google wanted to autocomplete i did don't trust me 303 and then it said meaning like it's very deep that was me at age 13 like what does it mean though i'll check the genius lyrics but yeah it's um it's just very, well, it has a good line of what says, while my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth, you tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef that I'm a vegetarian and I'm fucking scared of him. But yeah, she wants to touch me.

Whoa. She wants to love me. Whoa. She'll never leave me. Whoa. Don't trust a hoe. Don't trust a hoe. Won't trust don't trust a hoe don't trust the hoe won't trust a hoe because a hoe won't trust me almost lost my breath just reading that that was

really beautiful thank you yeah hope your grandchildren someday hear that get to hear that lovely rendition that you just gave oh and then it has this part that i completely forgot about until it popped up what yes it the horrible Helen Keller thing? What? Yes. It's horrible. Shush, girl. Shut your lips.

Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips. Okay. No joke. What? Did you watch the music video? Like, it's horrible. No. Yeah, it's horrible.

I watched one of those lyric videos that started off with, like, Comic Sans. Hope you enjoy. Subscribe for more songs or something. Angel Fire 2020. Yeah. Whew. Okay. like comic sans hope you enjoy subscribe for more songs or something angel fire 2020 yeah okay anyway um let's just move on let's move on although if you want to listen to that go to medallist across the street virtue cider just hit rewind a few times you just heard it live from xandy okay next up i have a review of Stove Top Stuffing on Amazon because it's one of the few things Alex and I agree on with Thanksgiving food. We both like stuffing a lot.

Yes. So this one is from Amazon, which is super questionable, but I guess you could buy it on Amazon. And this is a one-star review by Mark. Now, this is one of the ones where I thought it was funny, but I'm a little worried no one else will think it's funny. So we'll see. Okay.

One-star review by Mark of Stove Top Stuffing. Watch the use-by dates. I buy these for emergencies. I like to have a full pantry. And this had an expiration date five months after I bought it. Not much storage time, huh? End of review. look it's emergency stuffing stuffing emergencies are real no that is what i just like that um he's so upset that it's like five months away from

uh it's stuffing expiration known for lasting a long time on the shelves i don't think so because it's like breadcrumbs right like you don't want it to be super stale i mean i guess canned bread probably lasts a while i don't know okay but it's a can everything in a can lasts a while what is this in a box oh okay that's fucking what i just like that he buys these only for emergency purposes so when like the apocalypse hits he's just like here family i have a bunch of stuffing in boxes with no water and they're like well what the hell are we supposed to do with this stuffing dad and it's like it's like oh we can have a beautiful thanksgiving meal in the midst of the apocalypse in the basement you know very touching episode of walking dead or something but how that otherwise it serves zero purpose well you yeah but

all you can really eat is stuffing and canned cranberries which are two the two best things so actually i'm not complaining stuffing because it expires okay sorry sorry sorry not even stuffing you can eat canned cranberries okay to be fair the episode or the election is tomorrow as of recording date and this comes out the day after the election so maybe i'm wrong maybe the stuffing will be relevant like this week so true so true so amazon prime it right now emergency purposes yeah um i just got chills yeah realizing that this is coming out after, like, nope. Yeah, and if we're especially peppy in this episode, just be aware that we don't know what happens tomorrow.

That's a good warning, actually. I don't want you to be really depressed or, like, you know, feeling really bad and we're like, hey, la la la stuffing. Like, we don't, we're ignorant. We're naive. Yeah, we are naive. We're in the past. We're talking about 303 only.

And something else, because you know what I found next? What? I found a few things about pumpkin spice. Oh, hell yeah. Pumpkin spice. Everyone's favorite season. Pumpkin spice season. That's the other thing.

I don't like pumpkin, and Alexander does. Flavor. I do love pumpkin, but pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks are not vegan, so I can't drink those. Even like almond milk ones? No, yeah. The actual pumpkin spice syrup is not vegan. Has like bugs in it or something? Yeah.

They actually grind up animals for it. Spit everywhere. That's all of your other food. No, I believe it has milk in it um so yeah i can't even get another thing with a pump of pumpkin oh it's not a real complaint um this is a review by fran this is one star of a starbucks in los angeles california okay this location sucks. How can you not have pumpkin spice flavor? I'm like, I got into the zone.

Sorry. And then I lost it. He like whipped his mug up in the air. Yeah. Did you, do you like my mug? World's best boss. Oh, like from the office. Oh, that's cute.

It's from DMEDS. Who is the main mod of my Twitch channel. Yeah. So cutie. Got it for me for my birthday because I'm the boss around those parts. Okay. You're the boss in your empty apartment. Okay.

God damn it. Okay. This is Fran's one-star review. This location sucks. How can you not have pumpkin spice flavored frappuccino available when it's the fall slash Halloween season? In the morning instead of the end of the day and it's listed on your menu. The worker said something about someone forgot to order that flavor. So lame.

End of review. Oh, goodness. Somebody needs their fix. Am I right? People need their pumpkin spice apparently. Apparently it's a real goodness. Somebody needs their fix. Am I right? People need their pumpkin spice, apparently. Apparently, it's a real thing. Like, I get it. Everyone's like, oh, PSL.

Ha, ha, ha. But like some people really very seriously take it life or death. It's like those people who follow the McRib around. Yeah. You know about that, right? They're actually nomads. I think Mom was one of those people in the 80s she was she loves a mcrib yeah yeah um yeah they only eat stuffing out of boxes because it's the only thing they can

take with them on the road it keeps in their trunk pretty pretty well yeah they follow the mcrib around the country and and maybe the world um yeah psl you'd think la is the place to also if you're in la and your starbucks doesn't have a pumpkin spice literally turn around 80 degrees and there's another starbucks and that'll have pumpkin spice for you and also there are a lot of great smaller coffee shops that probably also have pumpkin flavored things yeah but you know if you're a psl fan like you're gonna you know it's like with coffee bean certain like i like the mocha better at a coffee bean than a Starbucks. Okay. But, like, you know, they're different.

Yeah. Is that true? I mean, I know. I've read a lot of pumpkin spice things, so you're right. I saw people said Pete's. They were like, ugh, Pete's is one that's so bad compared to Starbucks, all those things, yeah. Man, I will never forget fox's review of starbucks only because i just listened to all our freaking episodes again the fox's review of

starbucks being like amanda made me come to this starbucks like complaining about the tea the tea they have the peppermint tea and i'm like how is that any different but okay i guess it is um wow listen it's tough out there i lived in la i get it you get kind of you get kind of jaded you're like i want my like britta from community i lived in new york like come on do you say that all the time back in the midwest i lived in la yeah i do i say it all this weather yeah i lived in la it was beautiful year round i know i complain about it a lot it's just an easy talking point, you know? Because we were like, it's cold out there. And I'm like, yeah, and I'm from LA.

So I'm not used to it. Ha ha. And they're like, are you regretting your choice? And I'm like, kind of. Don't ask me that. It's a good way to say I'm a Democrat, though, around those parts. It is. Well, it is. And also, I do have a California license plate still, because I haven't gotten my title yet. And I do have a Black Lives Matter sticker on my car. And there's a Biden-Harris tattoo on your forehead right now. On my forehead. Yeah, I accidentally did it backwards

because I did it as a stick and poke on my own face. But, you know, I'm glad you can read it on Zoom or on Skype. On Skype, it's reversed, yeah. So I'm trying to get the message across here. Okay. I was about to say vote. And I'm like, this literally comes out too late you missed your time talking about it people are probably like oh looking for an escape escape yeah

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry it's cold outside huh that's what i'll say so this is it is it's 47 degrees 44 degrees no no no 34 degrees it's not cold here okay 34 that's cold fuck i know i was like why does it feel like it's gonna snow oh because it's 34 degrees it's not cold here okay 34 that's cold fuck i know i was like why does it feel like it's gonna snow oh because it's 34 degrees okay this is a review of okay this is when i went into a bad direction for myself and my my own personal sanity and i discovered alexander something that i think we're gonna need to revisit many many times in the future and that is reviews on qvc.com oh no i did not know what a freaking think of that well this is like oh my god an abundant fountain of not youth fountain of grandmas uh just endless grandmas and they have so There was this one woman that I'm going to mention who had like, huh, 235 reviews of

things she's purchased on QVC.com. So. Is it an addiction at that point? I think so. Like, that is a lot. I think you just start collecting things, you know? I mean, if you have the income, go for it. But my goodness, that's a lot.

But the best is that most of them were negative. So I was like, what kind of serotonin are you getting out of this? You just keep... Oh, no. She said she had like six pieces of the Grace Kelly jewelry collection. Wow. And like three of them were one star reviews. So she said it looks tacky.

And then she said that's a Southern word for ugly. I don't think you needed to buy them to know they look tacky. I know. I was like, don't they put them up on your like HGTV? Yeah, I feel like this is just going to get me all even judgier than normal. I know. Just get ready. So the first item I've discovered is set of three grateful, thankful, blessed pumpkins by Valerie.

Now, I don't know who Valerie is, but she seems to be in charge of a lot of these seasonal items, and they are seemingly by her. So it's like how Target has, what is it, a Reno brand or all these different brands. Mossimo. Mossimo. And QVC just has Valerie.

Valerie. Which probably fits because people aren't like, oh, I want to buy Mossimo. Massimo. And QVC just has Valerie. Valerie. Which probably fits because people aren't like, oh, I want to buy Massimo. Like these southern old women are going to say, Valerie, that's a nice name. I trust Valerie. Valerie's pumpkins. Valerie's pumpkins. And they're grateful, thankful, blessed pumpkins by Valerie. And she's the one in the video.

You can watch the video at the top where she describes it for you. That's sweet. So this is a three-star review by Mindy. Thankful, thankful, blessed? Grr. The color is pretty bright white with black lettering. But where's the grateful? Received two thankfuls and one blessed?

Now what? End of review. You know, I would be pretty annoyed. I don't know what my equivalent to that would be, but yeah. Got sent the wrong thing. That kind of sucks. To be fair, they mean the exact same fucking thing, right? Like, they're literally synonyms. Grateful and thankful.

That's true. But it would look really, like, it would look worse i'm not it'll it would look worse to have grateful grateful people would be confused i think and and to be fair a lot of people had the same issue and so they were like i just made it say thankful thankful blessed thankful i was like sure that that doesn't make it much better it is a hassle having to return things so i i would be annoyed apparently to qbc by the way it is a very massive hassle because they don't send you anything like you have to go send it back which is so mean and evil so like all these people get stuck with you know it just sucks anyway so thankful thankful blessed now what what? Now what? Says Mindy.

Mindy. I have a question. How can I be the next Valerie? Not to replace Valerie. How do I stand next to Valerie? Sure, sure, sure. How about that? I think we need to put out an audition tape. Okay.

First of all, you need to stop swearing. Second of all, you can never mention that you're vegan again because these people can't relate true yeah like the southern okay this is don't want to relate to you this is going this is already bad yeah yeah it's gonna be tough i have i have trouble not talking about that it's gonna be worth it yeah yeah yeah get on my platform well actually i watched a video i forget what it was i don't know if it was a documentary or what but it was it had behind the scenes of one of those live qvc things it's intense no it was that you know what it was it was a documentary about um the salesman the salespeople who so billy mays and all the other ones that i can't remember their names yeah and it was so fascinating and the amount of stuff that

goes into those productions is wild. I've never seen that. And it scares the crap out of me. I would be terrible at that job. Oh, yeah. So lots of respect to Valerie. Well, I mean, I was trying to politely tell you that. I guess it didn't come across. No, no.

I had to come to the conclusion by myself. Okay, got it. Okay, guess what? I have another one of that same Starbucks. Yay. This is by Rachel. Two stars. The service at this Starbucks was horrible.

If you're going to charge premium prices for coffee drinks, please hire premium people to work here. Guy at the register who took my order was clueless. Guy at the register who took my order was clueless. Since it was 80 degrees outside, I wanted a pumpkin spice frap, and he looked at me like it couldn't be done. Was about to tell me that when the barista kindly told him, yes, it can be done. After that, I asked for a pastry in the case, and he replied, we don't have it, without even looking. Um, I saw one in there there that's why i ordered it i guess it was the display so they couldn't sell it but i didn't appreciate being made to feel like i was silly for asking

the drink itself was made well and tasted great but i'll be getting my next one elsewhere oh my god so literally nothing was wrong at all like nothing was wrong except they were out of the pastry you wanted and they took things very personally that weren't even said let to be to be very fair to this the person behind the register they never even said that it can't be done no but rachel says well he looked at me like he was about to say that that's like when you i mean honestly the only thing i can think of is holy shit i would be so nervous to work with that person like if they were coming in that morning after this encounter at starbucks and they were my cubicle mate or something i'd be like true because if i

feel like i'd like look over and say hi valerie i can't think of any other name i'd be like hi valerie and then she'd be like oh my god, Christine looked at me like she couldn't even make a Frappuccino. Exactly. Imagine how they react to something actually happening. Like a real problem in the world. Yeah. Yeah. And I also, I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm on the Starbucks subreddit. Oh. Oh, yeah. Where they, the employee one. Yeah. And well, it's mostly employees. Sometimes a customer will come in and say something positive about Starbucks and all the employees are just in the comments trashing it. Yeah, like, this is not for you. Yeah, it's a back and forth of, like, funny things, behind the scenes things, and then also, hey, why don't you pay us well?

Starbucks, fuck you, kind of thing. So it's really interesting, actually. I enjoy reading it. I highly recommend it because it gives you also a lot of empathy for these- It's very on brand for our show. Employees. And you read about how much of a struggle it is

to work during these seasons, especially with the pandemic and the fact that many of the Starbucks stores are understaffed. So yeah uh respect all all people please but just and just consider the conditions that they have to deal with except a ho because i don't trust me but everyone else yeah yeah yeah oh anyway um wow that's beautiful that's my last starbucks one i'm just i i haven't been to Starbucks in a while, partially because of that subreddit.

Because I'm like, I don't want to. I haven't gone often either. Although I just read an article saying that Starbucks is one of the few places that's actually succeeding right now. They lost money, obviously, but they're doing pretty well because of the mobile ordering that they came up with before the pandemic. Well, apparently mobile ordering is awful for the employees i bet it is but they said 25 now are mobile orders so i was like oh god yeah um yeah i um yeah and golf courses also golf is up a crazy amount golf is oh okay holy cow like apparently if you look at the numbers maybe you could be a qbc host actually now that you mention it i feel like actually you're starting to mold into the exact first host that i would imagine people like mindy would watch hello it's valerie

here would you like to buy this princess diana china princess diana is not dead. She's alive. She's living on an island. Would you like to buy her what? China. Oh, like fine China. Dishes? Oh. Yes, I would. What did you think? Like the country? Princess Diana's version of the country of China?

I thought you were saying she's hiding out in China. Oh, no. No, I just wanted to throw in a conspiracy theory for those old Southerners. Also, I'm so sorry. I hope this isn't your first episode because I promise usually we're a little slightly more on topic. Can you imagine someone listening to our 100th episode and being like, okay, there's some funny stuff here. Oh, no. And then listening to this like, what the fuck?

That is not anything like their highlight reel. Oh, no. Yikes. Okay, so I told you. like, what the fuck? That is not anything like their highlight reel. Oh, no. Yikes. Okay, so I told you. Okay, so my turn? Sure. Okay, so I have only redemptions left. Okay, I've got two more.

So yeah, just throw your redemptions in there, some positivity. Okay, so I have one of Grandpa's Cider Mill. Okay, spoiler alert. We tried to do cider cideries as a because people are gonna be like why do you both have a cider review but uh it didn't work out because there were like zero on yelp um so we just did autumnal reviews but this is a cider mill that i did find called grandpa's cider mill and this is a five-star review by marcia my husband and i ride with cma do you want to guess what that is country music awards well they probably are in a venn diagram in some way um how about uh

uh cider mass acuity wow i do although although i do ride with the cider mass acuity every now and then um my husband and i ride with cma christian motorcyclist association and our members i would not have guessed that one wow i don't know why i thought maybe you would but but sign me up oh i did um it's gonna go hand in hand with your new qvc role i'm trying to like really bolster you to the right role um the christian motorcyclist association and we are members of indiana's local chapter rima riders 813 we went on a fun ride that we call the apple run and grandpa's cider mill was one of our stops we had 18 bikes and two cars in our group and we had a blast at this stop we had an awesome time sampling all of

the different flavors of cider at the bar enjoyed being able to see how the cider is made right before our eyes our entire group left with a big smile and we look forward to going back may god continue to grandpa's cider mill i think there's a verb missing okay continue his path towards the cider mill continue his motorcycle path all the way that's why i was like ever heard of the rapture the rapture is actually once god reaches grandpa's cider mill it's all over from there's all over, and only the people in Grandpa's Cider Mill will make it to the other side. Yeah, may God continue to Grandpa's Cider Mill. It really does sound like he's on a journey to Mecca.

I don't know if the CMA would agree with that. Perhaps not, but it sounds like they enjoyed it. So I think there was a verb missing, but i thought that was a powerful statement nonetheless i thought so and i'm glad that um they that grandpa received their blessing i agree good good for good for grandpa i think i think i think um your turn sure i have more pumpkin spice but it's a little different because this is of maxwell house international pumpkin spice latte instant coffee a nine ounce canister listen that's something i would eat i would drink and people would make fun of me for it but i would try it yeah i like those i like all those weird flavors sometimes. Me too. Just mix it up. Mix it up. Why not? Have fun, everyone.

Just live a little. Okay. Everyone's like, we're actually in the heat of a post-election apocalypse right now, but thanks a lot. Yeah. Whoops. Have some fun. For lightening the mood. This is Dave's review.

Two stars, and it's titled Pumpkin Spice Lies. So I drink a lot of mixed coffees, flavored coffee, instant flavored coffee mixes. Rarely do I not like one, especially pumpkin or cinnamon related. And it's not that I don't like this one. It okay, and I'll drink it. However, it tastes nothing of pumpkin or related to pumpkin honest to goodness it tastes like cinnamon toast crunch coffee for five dollars you get a pretty good size container it's full it takes two tablespoons so the directions say but i use a little more to pump up the flavor pump up the jams pump it up it's oh that was in parentheses i bought this like love suit so i can like expy it when i faint i can just kind of sprawl uh you're fainting victorian you use it very well it was it's

fitting for you uh but i used a little more to pump up the flavor pump up the jams pump it up it foams up at the top like a latte which is is cute and fun, but it's not pumpkin spice. It's Cinnamon Toast Crunch. But it's good nonetheless. Just not pumpkin, and being the basic bitty I am, I want the pumpkin. So try it if you like Cinnamon Toast Crunch or something on that spectrum, but do not expect pumpkin. Pumpkin emoji. End of review.

Oh my goodness. That was a ride. It was. I think that sounds delicious. I do too. No, I love Cinnamon To no i love i don't even care that it doesn't taste like pumpkin honestly this would make me i i we agree with the review that it being negative i mean it could have maybe been three stars whatever they left two stars uh but yeah it's very helpful i would consider that helpful and it would make me want to buy it helpful and now i would like to purchase that yeah um wow wow well I mean I'm so sorry because it sounds like I mean it sounds like this person has a lot on their mind a lot on their mind there's a lot going on here a lot

going on in there um can't believe that song lyric was just kind of in there. I mean, it's kind of where my brain would go probably when I wrote that. I just wouldn't write it out. That's exactly it. I think like, sure, I'd be like, oh, pump up the jam. But I wouldn't like, right, hang on. Let me go to GeniusLyrics.com or AZLyrics. Let me find that Angel Fire 2025 YouTube video. I need to write out all the lyrics to Pump Up the Jam.

The thing is, though, I'm a grateful pumpkin that they did it so excuse me i'm grateful pumpkin you're a grateful pumpkin no grateful pumpkin thankful pumpkin blessed pumpkin sorry there is no such thing as a grateful pumpkin that's why i was confused there's only a thing oh sorry there's only i thankful and a thankful. Oh, sorry. There's only... I'm sorry. I'm thankful pumpkin. Oh, I'm blessed pumpkin. I mixed them up. Yeah. Now what? Okay. This is...

Okay. So, wait. I thought you had... Did I mess up my counting? You must have because I definitely have six reviews. You know why? It's because I read those New York Times ones together. Oh, okay.

So... Oh, my God. My papers. Oh. This is such, oh my God, my papers. This is such a mess today. I'm so sorry. I made fun of her at the beginning for having paper notes. And now it's coming to be an issue. The problem is when I'm on a computer, I have some like, listen, I don't want to go there,

but I click a lot and I can't stop clicking and then I mess up my computer. I just need to. I mean, I'm playing RuneScape right now. Are you seriously? Of course not, Christina. Oh my God. I was about to like. You would hear it.

I was about to throw a thankful pumpkin at your head. You would hear it. So do you have any more negatives? Yeah, one more. And then that's my last review. I don't have any positives. Oh, okay. Right.

Sorry. Okay. I thought you had a redemption. So this is a redemption from overstock.com of pumpkin faces stack LED decorative accent. So it's three pumpkins on top of each other that light up. You know what? When it said LED and stacked, I got that. Thank you, though. Oh, okay.

Listen, El Sinner, I'm testing you. A person on QVC might not know what LED was. Oh, true. Light-emitting diode. Whoa. Right? Too far. You've got to tone it down.

Okay, not too... You've got to tone it down. You've got to be accessible for our audience of southern grandmas. You know what I call an LED, folks? You don't need to know the fancy science phrase i call it uh light everything dark i call it uh light emitted by i thought god started with a D? Because like A.D. Oh, Anno Domini.

Yeah. Okay. This is the four star view. Oh, I know. Hold on. No. I thought we moved fast. Lord, eliminate darkness okay that's good actually pretty please okay we are very quick on our feet could you tell that we've done improv before what

audience okay could you tell that we've done improv before yeah my head hurts how this is going based on how this is going. Yikes. Yikes. Okay. That's embarrassing. Okay. This is a four-star review by Mike of Pumpkin Faces Stack Lead LED Decorative.

Jesus Christ. This is why. This is why. I don't know. Okay. Pumpkin Faces Stack LED Decorative Accent. Four stars by Mike. Good piece.

I like that the pumpkins are not smiling. No. Aw. Is that it? Yeah. Mike. Mike. That's so sad. That is sad. Why? It's like it looks like me. I guess it makes makes it spookier maybe let's hope that's all it

is maybe maybe yeah that's so weird like a jack-o'-lantern you don't like do they have faces though yeah and they're kind of like wonky wonky face is like based on the face you just made yeah i'm gonna say wonky like grr you know yeah this is really great and descriptive for people who listen to our show thank you they're kind of grimacing a little bit oh grimacing okay that's good that's the word not grr and mike loves it mike's super into it well mike glad you felt positively about those pumpkins hopefully you felt positively about those pumpkins. Hopefully you feel positively about your life. Hopefully. My last one is of a Trader Joe's in New York, New York. This is by Colin, two stars.

My bread? Molded in a day. My meat? Molded in a day. My steak? Molded in two days. My cheese? Greasy as fuck slimy mush and tortillas soggy my pre-cut mangoes bad strawberries rotted in a day sparkling water pretty good every snack

tastes the same styrofoam with different seasonings Chips, pretzels, rice cakes, you name it, friend Trash Dark chocolate orange truffles were like drinking a bottle of perfume It burned mine and my papa's throats The dark chocolate peanut butter cups were pretty good Pumpkins were on death's door Stupid and ugly Avocado, rip off.

Butternut squash mac and cheese makes me hate fall. Mr. Joe, I'm leaving your stupid trading shack and taking my business to Whole Foods Market. End of review. Oh my god, yeah. I mean, you left with the entire stock of the entire store. You got everything you need. You like, really? I mean, you're basically

franchising in your own home at this point also like you and papa i like i feel like this is like charlie and the chocolate factory he's bringing home just like butternut squash ravioli or whatever and he's like uncle joe my god that was the weirdest review ever that was very strange and unsettling also i think this person might need to see a doctor if every snack is tasting the same. Or stop eating rice cakes. Rice cakes don't taste like anything. Rice cakes taste like... Don't be surprised.

Exactly. At the beginning, everything was molding. Yes. I really thought the sparkling water was also going to mold. But it really seems like maybe there's a problem in this person's home rather than in a grocery cart because everything seemed to mold like the second they got into their apartment within a day yeah maybe maybe they didn't know you're supposed to refrigerate uh most of these yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because if the water's the only thing not molding like and by the way don't call pumpkin

the pumpkins ugly just because they're not smiling. Yeah, seriously. Come on. Be like Mike here. Mike can appreciate a grimacing pumpkin who's not having the best day. Oh, wow. That was a weird one, Oxenar. Okay. I have some redemptions left and they are all of QVC items.

Yay. Okay. D. me, please. Of QVC items. Yay. Okay. This is an item called Set of Three Squirrels with Plaid Hats and Scarves by Valerie. Valerie, you are my idol here.

Are you serious? I want my name next to that. I know. Valerie is killing it. What? Is kicking butt. Fuck. I want to meet Valerie.

Yeah. Valerie is pretty great. I have a specific image of what Valerie looks like. Oh, do you? Yeah, I'm wondering if I'm right. I'll send you a picture later. That's not one we're going to put on Instagram for once. No, we're not putting Valerie's photo on Instagram. Oh my god.

Nice try, though, folks. Nice try. We know what you want. This is a five-star review by Grandma Elle. After watching these squirrels presented many times by Valerie last season, I caved. Opened the box when decorating house for Christmas and had no place left to show them off. They are adorable, however, so I had them finally climbing in and out of items in family eating areas hutch. They are so cute, you might want to talk to them.

Never mind. Sounds like the start of a great horror movie. By grandma. Yeah, I just love that grandma. Like Alvin and the Chipmunks. Go dark. Killers. After dark. Yeah. That has a bad connotation. But if they were. Go dark. Killers. After dark.

Yeah. That has a bad connotation. No, that sounds super. No. That has a bad connotation. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't know. Maybe like Alvin and the chipmunks gone wild. No. Is that more? No. Oh, shoot. Whoops. Sorry.

Wrong connotation. Did you do that on purpose? Yes. Oh, okay. I was like, wow wow you're just as bad as i am okay um i do love that like that um grandma l ordered these squirrels and then got them open up the end of the story but i love that she got them and then went oh i have no they don't fit anywhere in my house my house is so many full of so many valerie of valerie's items

that like these squirrels literally won't fit to the point that she had to put them in the in the eating area like coming in and out of the dish dishware yes that's just like so intuitive or so so uh inspired yes and it tells it tells us a lot about valerie skills it does being able to sell this kind of stuff yeah people who very much don't need it who don't have room for a six inch squirrel in a plaid scarf they say that they caved like you got somebody without even meeting them in person to cave into buying something it's impressive they don't even regret it five star view yeah exactly that's that's true it's and i can't speak to the quality but but it sounds pretty amazing to me,

these wonderful plaid squirrels. Yeah, they're really great. And Valerie's kicking butt. So now this next one is called Set of Two Pilgrim Sparrow Birds with Hats by Valerie. Valerie is my queen. I would give everything up to just learn from val you know what i typed in to find this i typed in on google pilgrim birds because i just wanted to have their pilgrim or pilgrim figurines i don't know smart search i also saw that you searched in the beach to sandy email pilgrim i did oh my god i forgot about that that was late at night well none of you no thanks to you all i had to find valerie on my own none of you sent me anything and i was wondering yeah i was wondering am i should i expect some weird thing someone sent in no there were no pilgrim

results thank you everybody you fool nothing this is a set of two pilgrim sparrow birds with hats by valerie five stars by grandma may wait wait is it is a prerequisite that you have grandma before your name yes on qvc it is is but or is that is that one of the options where you can pick your title a title and it's only grandma or like aunt that's it or future grandma um grandma may yes five stars these are bigger than i expected but just the perfect size for the thanksgiving table thanksgiving is the big holiday at my house and i love decorating for that day it seems to me thanksgiving is overlooked now nestled as it is between halloween and the rush to christmas shame on retailers things were different when i grew up this was the holiday spent with family

grandparents aunts and uncles all the cousins the aunt's jello salad competition oh no things were worse when you grew up The aunt's jello salad competition. Oh no. Things were worse when you grew up. Dot dot dot dot dot. The aunt's jello salad competition. Grandfather at the head of the table carving the bird and the turkey with all the trimmings. Then the Sunday night after when we all troop downtown to view the department store windows, magical with decorations and twinkling lights. Is this just the plot to The Grinch?

These little turkey statues. They're not turkey statues. Okay, that's okay. That's okay, Grandma Mae. She's wrapped up in her own memories. I bet Valerie, Valerie, when selling is like, you can pretend they're turkeys. And then they're like, yes. Yeah, they can be used multi-purpose, you know.

Have you seen a turkey before in real life? No? Well, this is what they look like. I promise. That's what Valerie says. I promise. These turkey statues brought it all back and reminded me of a simpler time when this holiday had more importance before my generation became the grandparents of the family and no one older was left i am so glad i purchased these and that

all my memories returned when looking at them even if in future we go to the lake cabin for thanksgiving these birds are of a size to travel with us end of review okay uxner have you been to target and seen those like sparr sparrows? Yeah, we bought those one year. Yes, that's it. That's what it is. Oh. Like, that's it. It's, like, one of those little birds that has, like, a pilgrim hat on. Well, it's kind of adorable that they managed to pull a bunch of memories

out of those weird little birds. But how frustrating would that be if that was your wife or your grandma or something, and every time you, like, pulled something out, she was like, oh, let me just regale you like she sees i don't know like a carving knife and is like oh the memories they're all flooding back to me now i mean you just couldn't show her anything i mean wait what if this is her only memory oh and everything reminds her of this one you should follow you should follow this account

and see if they post on everything it's the same story i'm so annoyed and they just keep bringing it to the lake house is this the plot of the lake house i haven't seen that oh i think they're just mixing up all movies they don't actually have their own memories the entire movie they're literally plagiarizing holiday movies and the lake house. Grinch and the lake house combined. I mean, I'd watch it. CommonSenseMedia.org. Warning, contains sexy stuff. Okay.

So this is my- I mean, have you seen those birds? Oh my God. Wow. So this is the final product and this is the final review I have and it's a redemption of Quacker Factory Snap Button Front Knit Cardigan with Fall Motif from QVC. Okay. What?

Valerie didn't want her name on Quacker Factory? I don't blame her. Quacker Factory is its own adjacent brand. It's not really affiliated with Valerie. But they're both under the QVC umbrella. Yeah. Valerie's rival, Quacker Factory. Quacker Factory. I was I was like Quaker nope that literally says Quacker okay five stars by Lucy my neighbor had been singing the praises of Quacker Factory for several years so I decided

to try them out when I saw these sweaters boy Boy am I glad I did! I bought the fall motif and the scenery and colors are absolutely perfect. I also bought the black haunted house. It too has perfect colors for Halloween with the cutest design. Both of these sweaters are very well made, extremely soft, and I consider them their own decorations for the fall and Halloween season. Even our priest commented how beautiful the fall one was so i am very pleased end of review oh my gosh but could you imagine okay well i can't imagine being a priest but no having that kind of power i didn't know that's what you're gonna say where you'll say something you'll say oh i really like that sweater and then it makes their day

probably makes their week and she's and then they talk about it on qvc it's like all worth it and i bet everyone all their friends know yeah i love it god i'm glad that like there are some people who decide to be priests for good reasons and to be positive people in their community agreed because it sounds like oh my gosh wait what's her name shoot it wasn't a grandma this time lucy um at least they didn't say they were at least they didn't you're right they probably might be um also i love that lucy's neighbor is just like for years singing the praises of quacker factory i feel like if i i just can't imagine i just moved into a new house and like because of quarantine i haven't really met our neighbors but i'm like can you imagine

if that's i mean i would just be thrilled yeah to hear all about the qvc retail world from my neighbors i this is making me want to watch qvc oh yeah i think but see my fear is that i would actually purchase shit like i know i would honestly i would find it hard to believe that there's something on qvc that would catch my eye to the point where i'd buy it don't get me wrong i don't know i don't think i would buy anything this sounds like a challenge i buy i buy a lot of weird stuff and a lot of stuff that i don't need and it has been a problem in the past but i don't think qvc has anything that really you think she's like raising her eyebrows like a weirdo um trying to think i feel like looking over i see my sonic the hedgehog costume like qvc doesn't sell that kind of stuff i'm just gonna

look i feel like there's something that definitely you would want though let's see what today's daily deals are how's that okay okay five easy just go to qvc.com i typed in qvc on google because i'm also a grandma um and then i hit today's special special value and deals okay you probably don't want this makeup mirror i'm gonna i'm gonna do hot picks because i'm a hot pick yeah yeah yeah go to hot picks looks like they have a robot vacuum okay that's different i would but i know i can't use that i don't have enough space twin tweezer set oh see they have like a dyson and a grill and a coffee maker they have a pac-man okay so they have like they i see the pac-man machine yeah and a toaster i don't need any of this stuff though i mean nobody mean, nobody needs any of it. I think that's the entire point, Zany.

I know, okay, but... Some slippers. Oh, see my recommendations. It's like just pilgrim birds. Any type of pilgrim bird you can think of. Okay, I'm nervous. I don't want to get too deep because I'm going to... Wow.

They're going to give me some weird recommendations. This is a camouflage... It's some TVs? Camouflage, fleecece wear sherpa snap front jacket okay i'm out okay i'm not i tried i tried i but also i need valerie to present it to me i'm just gonna go follow valerie on instagram yeah i think that's probably good i'm gonna type in qvc valerie but i feel like i don't want to tell everybody can we cut this out because i feel like she is special to me and to you and i don't yeah i want to keep her to myself but i guess it's also selfish that is pretty selfish but yeah we're selfish people does she not have an instagram

it looks like she just mostly does seasonal stuff which would make sense why i only found things by valerie um oh my goodness look at this adorable ceramic mr christmas tabletop figurine can i tell you something that's gonna make your it's not terrible it's not terrible at all oh dear oh dear i would see that i would own there's one option elf can i tell you something that you're gonna be really obnoxious about probably? Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. You have more followers on Instagram than Valerie. No. Which is a travesty.

I'm not going to be obnoxious. I'm going to be fucking devastated. It is a travesty. Is she verified at least? Nope. Also, in case you guys don't follow me on Instagram, I got verified a couple of days ago and I definitely made it an extremely big deal. You made it like an hour into this episode without mentioning it that's impressive i don't i know that wasn't a compliment but thank

you yeah you said thank you before i even finished what i was saying um here we go valerie hill valerie par hill decor designer and qbc home expert wow i'm gonna look at her story today how she's gonna be like why is this person suddenly liking all of my posts stay tuned for our next beach to sandy episode where we just narrate us going through instagram oh wait it's happening right now see this pumpkin would be oh I saw it it'd be perfect yeah but it's smiling and I just wish it weren't I wish it didn't look so happy Mike would hate this Mike would hate this if it looked a little more depressed, maybe. Look at this manger scene.

An indoor slash outdoor oversized nativity in a choice of traditional colors or ivory. This page is exactly how I pictured it. This is completely 100%. Good for you, Valerie. I'm happy for you. Let's get you Instagram verified before me let's get her verified let's do it i don't deserve i want to give mine away to valerie careful okay i don't i don't i don't i take it back it's a big joke she fucking called me so many times about not

being verified that i it just was like hurting my feelings because it got to a point where i was like i keep getting rejected and they won't tell me why you know yeah um but now i'm pretty offended on valerie's behalf yeah true hello august she posted hello oh my in july she's already posted some snowman cookie jars in july yeah okay christmas in july oh my god and then somebody don't doubt valerie you're right you're right somebody commented zany which qvc channel will be on qvc qvc 2 qvc 3 or qvc holiday channel okay that blew my mind wow yeah there are that many i need to get cable called okay called direct tv up or whoever does cable because I changed my mind. What a millennial.

Okay. Who does the cable? Somebody asked me. Okay. We'll probably edit this down, right? No. Yeah, actually, I'm going to edit it down so it's only the last five minutes where we only talk about Valerie. Perfect.

I'm going to keep the Pilgrim Birds and then Valerie and that's it can we put maybe we'll post the pilgrim birds okay that's fair since we never know what to post i feel like we have to post something we gotta post something we'll figure it out or the angry snowman or the pumpkins i mean i don't know do we do we have any weird thanksgiving pictures probably i'm certain we do we have one of you holding a pie we could do that and when you were holding the pie, you looked around and you said, I remember this place or something like that. I was being, I was on something. You were also in a polo shirt.

So that could be good content. It was, it was a fit. It was a fit. It was a fit? Yeah. My, my outfit. It was a fit. Yeah, it was a fit, fit, fit for sure.

All right. I have a theme. This was sent in by Ashley. So thank you, Ashley. The theme is private investigators. A good old PI. Love it. That's going to be really fun.

Really amped about this. Yeah. Yeah, I hope. I don't know. Sometimes we think of these and it sounds fun. Then we get into it and it's just dark. Yeah, yeah. But we'll see.

All right uh this one is this challenge for you is uh from mars she her so this challenge is specifically for you and i'm i'm workshopping a little bit because i want to make sure it's possible for you okay um so i'm gonna actually just read her challenge straight up. Find a review in which someone thought Tim Allen was in a movie that he's not. Or wishing he was in a movie that he's not. Oh, my God. So, for example, this movie would be so much better if Tim Allen were in it.

What I will say, though, is I don't think it necessarily has to be that they wish he was in it. But at the very least, I'd like you to find a review of a movie where someone mentions Tim Allen even though he wasn't in the movie. So even if it's like, well, it reminds me of Tim Allen in this. Excellent. I don't know. Listen, I'm on it. Just because you and your weird Tim Allen bullshit. Challenge accepted.

Challenge accepted. Mars, hopefully she does you proud this is a tough one so i understand if it needs changing but well i think i'm up for the task you are you are i'll get back to you in like two days when i'm probably not up for the task but for now i'm up for the task yeah and i will also like to say first of all christina you didn't wish me a happy vegan day yesterday um oh did i forget oops yes you did but uh mars says uh i make vegan barbecue and she is vegan and yeah that's about it just want to say hi to mars friend thanks for being vegan too thanks for your support yes she's also and that's why we drink fan fine i said it

okay i'll take it um all right everybody thank you for listening sorry that this was so chaotic uh but we're back we're back to our regularly scheduled programming back to our bullshit and back on our bullshit or don't or don't enjoy it but enjoy at least enjoy it for valerie's sake. Yes. Okay. Goodbye. Bye Val.