Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 107: Reviews of Driving Schools

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

We're just two podcasters trying to make an honest living. So what if we like looking at hotties with honkers? Get your Karma Back To You pin before they sell out! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Christine. And I'm Alex. Hello. Hello. We are, I am very excited for today's theme, which is driving schools.

We didn't have a city, right? No, just anywhere thank god no we kind of gave up on um like location uh parameters a long time ago yes yeah we're a little all over the place but we're doing what the people want so at least the vocal ones i mean if you define people as you and me then yeah we are doing exactly what the people want yeah we're the vocal ones that we can't hear their voices only they can hear ours as an empath i can feel all of their feelings and emotions and so i can tell that they wanted us to do this um do you have anything to say before we get started you just you just scared half of our listener base base and insulted the other half. Wait, why?

What did I say? No, I'm just saying like the people who consider it like who call themselves empaths are like, wait, is she making fun of me? And then the people who don't like when people say that are like, oh, so it's 50-50. That's what I like to do is I like to instead of try to please everyone, I try to displease everyone. And I'm pretty good at it. If it includes me it worked

oh good you and i are the only people as we've determined um so alexander before we start can i read you the email that kind of set off this horrible chain of events yes oh that's right there's that special email there's a special email and now, this came in from Aiden. It says, theme suggestion, driving schools plus a scam alert. So as you and I know, I just love a good scam story, you know. I love when our listeners get scammed. in this driving school story that kind of inspired this theme. So I'm just going to read it to you, and it is a review of sorts, so we're going to put the music underneath it. The reason that I'm requesting driving schools is that I actually had an experience being scammed by a supposed driving school instructor, and the reviews played a role in the scam and how I realized it was a scam. I found this instructor on Lessons.com, and he had great reviews.

All five stars, totally glowing. I called him to set up an appointment and paid him through Venmo. I did not know at the time that Venmo does not allow business transactions. Okay, I actually just learned that myself, which, oops. Christina, be careful out there. I just, like, looked into the camera really dramatically. Well, I got a few people to text later on and venmo also does not allow refunds a few days before our appointment he called and canceled his reasoning was that it

was friday the 13th and a lot of weird disasters had been happening and it was too much to deal with i was surprised but as a generally easygoing person, I didn't push the issue. I love how instead of just saying, I have a doctor's appointment, he's like, it's Friday the 13th. Don't be alarmed. But I take that more seriously because I realize they're probably not lying about that being their excuse. Yeah, that's actually the truth. If they say doctor's appointment, you can roll your eyes and say, okay, buddy, yeah. But if they say, I scared of friday the 13th i would think yep yeah like it's just weird it's just weird enough to be like an actual

personality trait exactly okay i was surprised but as a generally easygoing person i didn't push the issue i did however start to feel nervous about having already sent him the money a few days later i ended up in my veterinarian's office with my pet rat who was showing signs of illness. I was unable to pay for all the treatment the vet recommended, so I called the instructor and asked for a refund since we had not yet actually met up. He told me he had a strict no refund policy that was outlined very clearly on his website. I was surprised as I didn't remember seeing this on the website. After our call ended, I checked lessons.com and went to the website listed. There was no mention of any refund policy.

At this point, I began searching for other reviews about this driving instructor. I fell down a rabbit hole and discovered that he has had at least 10 DBAs in the past decade. Do you know what a DBA is? Side note. Dead by arrival. Yes.

He's killed 10 students. on friday the 13th um no so a dba stands for doing business as so it's like if you have a like it's a name that a business operates under like a trade name got it so um he's had at least 10 dbas in the past decade, including My Cool Driving School, OC Driver's Ed, Drive Time, Fuji Driving School, Safe Road Driving School, and more. This guy just walks through a grocery store, Fuji Apple, Fuji Driving School, that's the new one. He's like, I think I've just been diagnosed with OCD. How about OC Drivers, OC Driver's Ed?

diagnosed with OCD. How about OC drivers? OC drivers ed. I searched for reviews of these other driving schools as well as the driving instructor's name and I found that although most of these businesses had many five-star reviews they also had a number of reviews from concerned parents who said that the instructor would tell the student to park the car during their first driving lesson and tell them to pull out their phone and give him a five-star Yelp review or else he wouldn't approve them to get their license. It's not funny. I'm sorry. It's so horrifying.

It's like every teenage's worst nightmare. It's not to say you should do this with your own business, but I think it's like every teenager's worst nightmare it's not to say you should do this with your own business but i think it's hilarious he threatens them with like to get yell from you and remember they're minor like they're children they're not even adults okay it says car just says that's like a final sticker this is fuji driving the students usually around 15 years old and terrified with an older stranger in the car gave him five star reviews under coercion he would also force the students to sign their review with their full name and the name of their high school it's like next level

so it's good that would scare me i would don't scare the shit out of me like nowadays i would never tell mom i would like for sure tell him my high school and i'm like 29 so um with their full name and the name of their high school i'd assume so that if they changed the review he would know who to target. Through these parental reviews, I found out that this instructor would force students to help him complete his errands. It's just picking... This guy!

This guy! He is like pushing the envelope in every different direction that there exists. He's gone through like ten different businesses. That's what it said. I don't think he gives a shit anymore. He doesn't give a shit. He does not care.

I found out this instructor would force students to help him complete his errands, such as picking up groceries and dry cleaning, going to get coffee, etc. He would scream at students until they cried, made students pay for all the lessons up front, and then make excuses to not complete the lessons, because if they completed all the lessons, he'd have to approve them for a driver's license which he is legally not allowed to do because his permission to be an instructor was revoked by the state and would charge a 45 cancellation fee even if he was the one who canceled so basically this guy wasn't even qualified to give you so you were going to fail no matter what

as many coffees and dry cleaning bags as you picked so you were going to fail no matter what as many coffees and dry cleaning bags as you picked up you were going to fail because he couldn't approve you then what's it all for i also found a pdf form on one of his old websites that asked students for their credit card information including expiration date security code and even address for payment so um and then aiden says they reached out to lessons.com and venmo and his account was removed from both sites um and says i wasn't going to use his name in the email but in writing this email i decided to take and this is making an honest living oh my god i'm just kidding good job that's that is society thanks you for your society thanks a bunch of

teens thank you um but in writing this email i decided to take another look and there have been one star reviews from furious furious oh my god christine there have been one star reviews from furious parents dating back to march 2020 so it seems this dude is still at large if you wanted to warn any listeners who live in the Orange County, California area or I guess any other part of this planet because I feel like he's going to run out of options and move somewhere pretty soon. I'm pretty sure this is Orange County

because I'm pretty sure earlier you said OC stood for obsessive compulsive. Oh, that's true. I'm not sure. It's a double entendre. Tell them to avoid any driving school that lists Kevin Cruz as the instructor. Can you imagine if your name is Kevin Cruz and you're not this guy and

you're like, wait, no. Any driving school that lists Kevin Cruz as the instructor and make sure to read all the reviews very thoroughly and then attach the complaint that they wrote up for Venmo and lessons.com. So thank you, Aiden, for that horror story. And it made mine look like fucking peaches and cream. Is that a saying? Probably not.

But it made mine look like nothing at all. Like the candy sales and all that. The candy sales? What are you talking about? My driving school, where the guy would sell us candy. Oh, your experience at a driving school. Sorry. It made my experience look really minimal.

I thought you were saying that the reviews you brought to the table compared to that are garbage. Oh, I wanted to. No, no. I wanted to add. Renee also texted me after listening to that episode. Do you remember when my driver's ed teacher, but like the in-car driver thing, was this extremely elderly man. And he used to make me drive to Mount Lookout. And we would stop at UDF and he would get a a milkshake and then we would watch the sunset in total silence

oh my god listen driving instructors i don't know what's up here but like i found a lot of weird reviews and i've had a lot of weird experiences um well i feel like a lot of them are now like retired they were working something else their entire life, and they wanted something, like, steady. Yeah. Like, not that, like, as much income or whatever, but, like, something. And then they just retire and do that. And so they probably have a lot of life experience, have gone through a lot. So they just seem really strange, like, children.

I guess so. You know what I mean? Like, that's how I felt about my driving it feels like there's like minimal that's not weird i'm sorry renee not to say that it's it's totally okay experience to bring you to watch it's not okay but also it seems like there's minimal oversight which is like alarming to me because basically most teenagers in this country go through this process so it's like you'd think there'd be a little more oversight into these businesses that have basically grown adults like driving around with minors you know it's just like strange that all of these

experience anyway so thank you Aiden thank you Renee um now Alex i'll center do you have something to regale us with like a review yes oh yeah okay because i was like i did not bring a song or a text from a friend of the table a vaudeville show i did write an entire vaudeville show about driving schools but we'll save that for another day okay my first one is of zion driving school in los angeles california this is by c one star this was a waste of money my daughter failed the test for pedestrian walking i can't believe that in eight hours of classes the instructors didn't refer to this at all awful waste of money Wouldn't recommend it. End of review.

Did she hit somebody in the street? That's what I'm thinking. The owner says, thanks for your feedback. End of response. That's it. That guy's drinking a milkshake and watching the sunset. He has better things to worry about. He also got their money already, which seems to be the only thing these people care about the the one thing that i got points off on was something with pedestrians like a pedestrian crossing the street um and i like teenagers just like they were all on the

other side i got like a 98 or something like it was it was a like a point and a half off or something hey get get ask me what I got. Why did you get 100? 100%? Yeah. Because I didn't run over any pedestrians. Yeah. And then I remember going to school and I was like, they just docked me for this one thing. And the teachers were like, that seems really important that you learn not to do that.

I love that the docking is only one and a half points for like driving through a crowd of people. I drove too close to a pedestrian or for like driving through a crowd of people. I drove too close to a pedestrian or something. I'm like, come on. They're alive. They're okay. They made it. It was just practice to drive in LA where you get as close.

It's a game to get as close as you can to pedestrians. Man, good times. Don't do that. But yes, pedestrian walking is apparently enough for failing. Thank you for your feedback. Okay, I have a review. So I actually stayed local here in Cincinnati and I found the places that I went and that Renee went. Now, I think you and I might have gone to different.

Did you go to Bix driving school? No, I went to AAA in Hyde Park underneath. Okay. Like, yeah, in the basement. Okay, but I don't think it was AAA because I think what I recall you don't think where I went was AAA yeah you think I was being scammed

yeah because there's also a place that I remember that I might have also gone to I'm not positive called quadruple A driving school I was laughing so hard and I texted Renee and I said um I think I just figured out like why our schools were so, our driving schools were so sketchy because there was this place called AAAA driving school with an extra A that looks like it's trying to be triple A driving school

and it has four A's. And I was like, oh my my god i remember it being triple a but not triple a and i'm pretty sure that's what it was and i'm pretty sure mom just saw like quadruple a in the phone book or whatever and uh sent me there to this man's house where he had a candy store in his desk um christina you understand i'm two years younger than you she made that mistake with you i know i know she learned her lesson so i did go to triple a so she docked one of the a's and sent you to the real one well i got a hundred on my test so i don't know maybe triple a wasn't all it's cracked up to me but also renee said wasn't there a bix driving school and then i asked mom and she said i think you went to bix driving school. So I don't know which driving school I went to, but I have a review of quadruple A parentheses, not triple A driving school.

One star by Lauren. If I could give a zero, I would. The instructor was rude and unprofessional. Additionally, I was told the class would end at 530 when it actually ended at six. The rude instructor very defensively said, It's not my fault there were miscommunications. I write down everything in my notepad, as I'm a very detail-oriented small business owner,

and I pulled it right out in front of her and told her not to accuse me of misunderstandings. Perhaps she should talk to the staff. End of review. Whoa. You know what they say. The pen is mightier than the sword. That's right. This is living proof.

You know what else they say. The pen is mightier than the steering wheel. Oh. Wow. Unless that call of the void gets that driver that one special day. Oh no I was reading the note she put a picture of her notepad in the Yelp review and that was special day oh no i was reading the note um she put a picture of her notepad oh in the yelp review and that was one of her haikus oh it's nice thank you wow can you imagine if you're like you're like talking to somebody and they just like pull out

a notebook and start taking notes while you're like some blue blues clues shit i'd be excited i think we're going on an adventure oh can i see i'm a very detail-oriented small business owner and therefore i carry around a notebook and write down everything i see i'm also harriet the spy which is why why it's relevant but that's only my dba it's only your what my dba my real business is called a a a a a oh no no wonder she's so mad okay this next one is of a school in rhode island one star a school in Rhode Island. One star. Instructor laughed when I didn't pass the test.

End of review. Oh no! So sad. Oh no! I think that's kind of I think I would probably laugh a little bit. Like, it depends. It depends. Like, if you hit a few pedestrians,

I probably wouldn't laugh. Like, what's the scene here? Like, did they call them up afterwards saying they need more instruction? And they're just, like, cracking up, like, yeah, we told you. Yeah, like, we placed bets. You have to go back to, like, remedial driving school. Like, I don't know. Yeah, you're right.

I don't know why they would even find this out. I don't know. Unless they're looking for more tests or to just get mad and be like, hey, assholes. Yeah, you failed, right? That's a good point. I don't want to take responsibility for this. We're going deep into this story that has been like, we've been given five words. For no good reason.

Okay, this is a one-star review by Mark of Quadruple A. The teacher told my daughter she was going to die while driving. He argued with her while she was driving. Messy car with smoke smell. Driver had to sit on these pillows because seat was not fully functional. Oh, no. That's pretty bad. So gross gross sit on these pillows my dear unprofessional oh don't say it now i'm picturing the instructor using those pillows later that's

what i'm saying because the seat didn't work so anybody in that seat has you said that i'm using it for their face right oh? Oh, that's not what I meant. Ew. That's what I thought you meant. Ew, you took it back inside? I hope not. Unprofessional teacher wore house slippers while teaching. I'm pretty sure this is where I went.

It sounds like they sleep in their car anyway, so they did not need to take those pillows inside. You're right. You're completely right. This is like they just recline the seat and go to bed those pillows you're right you're completely right this is like they just recline the seat and and go to bed and they're their car slippers not house slippers slippers they're automobile slippers unprofessional teacher wore house slippers while teaching go to triple a not quadruple a classroom time is done in a packed house of kids teachers are

impatient this place needs a turnaround it would be cheaper and more effective to just join triple a for the sake of the school if that was all you needed end of review i like that this person recognizes that there's a difference but still picked this one exactly like which i love no you know what you're doing you're not it's like the off brand you do it anyway yeah learn from my mistakes fooling you you're just just making bad choices that's the best part is that there is a triple a driving school in cincinnati so like they just ripped off the title all right my next one actually of them, are going to be from the A1 Thompson Driving School in Little Rock, Arkansas. This first one is by Will.i.am.

One star. I was kicked out of class for not providing a phone number. Supervisor seemed unconcerned that instructor booted me from class this was a court ordered class end of review oh my whoops i don't think they're concerned yet for a reason yeah i don't think they care and then they left and then they laughed oh i'm just i was picturing this person like oh i'm not giving you my phone number that's private i can't do that and he goes back to the court sorry they asked for my phone number it's like they didn't ask for your social security just give them a phone number you broke your probation you're going back to jail but it was

all worth it it's all worth it my cell number is still private oh now i can text and drive in peace oh Oh, no. His name was actually Will.i.am, by the way, in the thing. I didn't just, that wasn't a made up thing. Oh, I thought you meant like you saw, I was like he gave out his birth certificate, but not his phone number. Oh, my God.

And he only had one review. So it's not like, I don't know. What I assume is this is the actual Will.i.am. And in order to avoid the spotlight, he went to Arkansas to do his test. Right, right. His Yelp account, though, he likes to be recognized on Yelp. No, because the I is capitalized, which I don't think it is in Will.i.am. So I think he's trying to be secret.

That's his DBA. His DBA. Okay. Will.i.am. Okay, got it. I know that I keep just being quiet but it's because i didn't tell you that i'm out of reviews so oh okay yeah i was wondering why you weren't saying yours yeah i have to go in i was doing that truth by will my uh favorite journalism tactic which is

just to just be really quiet and then people will start talking to fill the silence it's true but it works on me also while i'm trying to do it you have a fucking podcast you're supposed to talk i know it's not like we're supposed to be sit here in silence what are you trying to get out of me what kind of info jesus i don't know i've learned a lot that a lot of people aren't who they seem today so you know i don't feel like myself so i'm learning that too this is a weird day okay this is another one from the same arkansas place um this is by fergie uh wait what this is not actually that took me 0.5 seconds Usually that would have taken a lot longer. Akron, Ohio.

I think that might be my driving school. Not too late. Okay, two stars. The worst thing I've ever experienced. Never go here because you don't learn. You only get traumatized by seeing crashes. Got sick by looking at dead and decapitated bodies. Hear personal stories from an emt about deaths he

experienced and how body parts look like they were blended up oh i messed that up sorry what christina i've got like a pounding noise happening right there i'm so not focused it's okay sorry they were blended up though they were they looked like they were blended up but i don't think i said it like they did. I said it like it made no sense. Okay. And it made a little more sense than I gave it credit for. It made sense to me.

Stories from an EMT about deaths he experienced and how body parts look. Yeah, this is hard to read, actually. I don't play this anymore. Okay, I was like, ah. How body parts look like they were blended up. I don't know what body parts. Just general. I assume after a crash.

And a tornado. And a Vitamix. I was kicking myself. I'm like, man, how can I just not read this well? Now I'm looking at it more. I'm like, what do you know? We're over 100 episodes and you should know not to blame yourself. True, true, true.

We're over 100 episodes and you should know not to blame yourself. True, true, true. Yeah, about deaths he experienced and how body parts looked like they were blended up is what the EMD talked about. Like, it sounds like just normal body parts. Well, Blaze comes home from the ER every day and says the exact same thing. And sips his drink, his smoothie. Uh-oh. Okay. um oh okay there is no learning only scaring awful place end of review that actually sounds

pretty much like my driving school experience i think yours too how it goes yeah you watch it was terror i mean it was really scary old like train videos and like you never knew if it was real or not because like a lot of them aren't but some of them very much are like a lot of them wait really probably yes they have some real videos that they show you the blender one the blender one because that was only the vitamins infomercial they only show that at the best ones the blender show uh yeah that's why i didn't get it at my quadruple a um but wait so what do you mean some of them are real like they have real like footage of people getting hit by drones and shit what i'm pretty

sure some of those are like i know some of them are like dramatized but i'm pretty sure some of them are real videos of terrible car crashes and deaths yeah i, I mean, it was really, really... Let us know if you also had the same experience because I feel like I would sit there and they'd go, okay, let's put in a VHS tape. And it would be like, watch as this toddler dies in a car seat as the train comes

because his mom can't get the car off the tracks. Anyway, what did you learn today? And I'm like... That one was real. But the thing is, they were originally actors, like that one was real but they like but the thing is they were originally actors but then there was a problem like something went wrong a train was actually coming and the director was like this is the dream it looks so realistic this is it everyone stand back the train had a gopro so they had a perfect angle

had a gopro yeah like a dash cam or anything just a gopro just not a what gopro it wasn't like a dash cam or something like the train probably already had like some sort of camera no no they it was a gopro that really did it um anyway here is a five star I'm gonna lift us up today five stars of Arkansas motorcycle safety very happy I attended this safety course learned a lot of great information from some great guys

I highly recommend this course for any new rider or any rider wanting to renew and refresh some skills and techniques Jed, Red, and ed made the learning experience that can't be real i mean i don't know if it is they couldn't even come up with like other like ted but they were like jed i i don't know if they met each other and then just said you know what the three with our three names we may have a great motorcycle safety course um but i love it i love it so anyway

jed red and ed made the learning experience one of the most enjoyable ones i've ever had i'm looking forward to coming back and taking more classes as my skills and techniques progress and demand higher knowledge and perfect practice. Thank you again, AMS Little Rock. Remember folks, your motorcycle gear can save your life,

but only Jesus Christ can save your soul. End of review. It doesn't say that. It says that? In parentheses at the bottom. End of review. It doesn't say that. It says that? In parentheses at the bottom. Oh my god. How long did it take him to come up with how can I work Jesus into

this review? I know. It came out of nowhere. Jed, Red, and Ed can't save you now. The holy trinity of motorcycle schools can't save you now. Wow, Jed, Red, and Ed. Oh, my God.

It's like one of their teachers, like, I don't know. It just seems so weird. Yeah, because it's really fucking weird. But remember how when you were little, you had an imaginary friend? Okay, you had an imaginary friend named Ran. And sure, that's fine. okay you had an imaginary friend named ran and um sure that's fine and then every and then so in order to irritate me he would uh create no it was real okay uh in order to make it all about you in order to irritate me he and his friend ran decided to uh bring all their other friends over and all of their friends happened to rhyme with ran so there was trash

ran was my friend and then ran's friends were trash can uh there was man there was lan pan dan yeah stan i mean it just was like never ending and as i just told you i can't yeah as i've told people and can there was separate yeah. And as I told people on the show before, Alexander, once he started talking, it just never really ended. And so he one day decided that we were playing soccer out in the backyard and he decided that he was going to start naming all of the other people that were on his team. And he started going and I was like,

God, he can probably rhyme like 400 words with ran. And so I just went inside. Yeah. That's why I studied poetry. Just because of that moment. Ran can and trash can. I just love that the original friend wouldn't. And cool down the man.

Did you see her there? See, she's talking over me, but you know it was good. You know it was a good poem okay i just like whatever the original name of your invisible friend was ran like it wasn't like it was what happened to him i left him at home in cincinnati is he okay christina tell me that rain is okay what did you do to him Alice punched him in the face and he ran away okay he's alive though Jesus you made it sound like he died fine he's probably somewhere better than Cincinnati Jesus it's actually worse because Alice is stuck there he gave up I told him loveless marriage he didn't want to be his friend anymore and he left him.

No, he's probably on his way to me. Anyway, so Rand and Alice were our imaginary friends. Anyway, we're troubled. Okay. What's Alice's husband's name? Alice is married. So you don't even know. There's no love there.

Oh, yeah. That's not what she told me. Okay. Okay. Should we move on? Yes. Okay. oh yeah that's not what you told me okay okay should we move on yes okay so um um i had a challenge and let me pull it up real quick yeah based on tweet last night it was a real challenge it was a freaking challenge i had to tweet out uh to ask for advice guidance because i struggled a lot so my challenge was to find

a review of a movie based solely on the looks of an actor in the movie you should have just looked up um movies where actors show their boobies and then found a um you should google that specifically i chose my words carefully um and then you'll see like weird blogs with 14 year olds talking about that stuff you're probably on those blogs anyway so yeah i am it's called uh it's called hotties with honkers dot blogspot.com dot angel fire uh no it's called common sense media common sense media thank you, dot org. So in any case, I... This was sent in by Sophie, by the way.

And, uh, it was really difficult. And, Oxenor, did you say last time that, uh, Sophie included Christine's Dilbert M&M machine in her email as, like, a greeting? No, what? Uh, hey, Sheeper Sisters, GeoJumper, and Christine's Dilbert M&M machine. in her email as a greeting. No, what? Hey, Sheever Sisters, GeoJumper, and Christine's Dilbert M&M machine. Oh. Here it is. It looks great.

For your viewing pleasures, Andy. Is it full? No, obviously. It's never full because I always eat it. Oh, yeah, that's right. So. Just tip it right in. Any case, I kind of struggled, but I went to Twitter. I i found a couple on common sense media and then i was like okay they can't all be from common sense media i

mean they could but they they shouldn't be so i got some off twitter so thank you everyone who contributed i only picked a couple but it was really helpful um so the first one i have here was from twitter this is from bailey aka c slug fan great username and this is a review of dunkirk from 2017 and i have a feeling of all movies to start with do you know where this is going yeah what's his name's in that yeah yeah one direction harry styles yeah it's from your boobies website hotties with honkers stop it you know he'd be on he'd be on the the sister should i say brother website um hotties with hangers wait no that doesn't work never mind hotties that are are hot dairy hotties hunks with honkers no okay i'm changing this conversation around

hunks who are hung there we go oh gross okay i'm gonna keep reading this is from mary styles sorry bailey this is ruining your life i'm sure okay this is a review by raven of dunkirk i haven't seen it but i still consider it my favorite movie of all time just for the man the king the lord himself har Harry Edward Stiles. Like, how can one human be so perfect? I swear he's some kind of heavenly being or something. I would literally sell my soul for him just to look at me with those astonishing emerald yellow slash green eyes. Anyway, to make a long story short, good movie.

Harry did an astounding job, I'm sure. 10 out of 10 would recommend. I'm sure. And a few. i haven't seen it which i love that like you could have seen it by now like yeah because this was a year this review came out a year ago and the movie came out in 2017 so you've had two years to see it okay for whatever reason harry styles but not in that way but not in a monetary real way just in a creepy online way got it exactly they want other people to know that they support him without actually

supporting him yeah i mean it's probably a 12 year old who can't go to the it's probably an r-rated movie so i guess like me talking about your podcast oh it's a fantastic show but yeah i don't listen. You always say, I'm sure. I'm sure it is. I'm sure. I'm sure she's one of the best still. Okay. So now this is a one star review of the TV show Fanboy and Chum Chum.

So it's an animated show that was on Nickelodeon a while back. The last episode, I guess, was 2012. So this is a one star review of fanboy and chum chum and it's by kid 11 years old i'd rather die than watch this the characters are ugly i have no idea how this show keeps on going i do not know anyone who likes this show and i know a lot of people the first time i saw the commercial i turned off my tv and kept it off for days because i was so mentally scarred when the theme song for the show came on my dog woke up from his nap and ran out of the room whimpering i think the army should strap people to chairs and make them watch fanboy and chum chum for 24 hours as a new

method of torture end of review jeez so once again has not seen it would rather die than watch it but just thinks the characters are so ugly do you know fergie voices a character in that show wait for real yeah like the one from the driving school right not like yeah the drive the arkansas one arkansas. No, I did not know this. Apparently, she voices Copy Kitten. Aw, that's cute. Yeah. Is she ugly? I mean...

I don't want to answer this question. No comment? Christina, I'm going to say no comment. Okay. I mean, for like... Compared to the other characters, she looks very different so i'm like very confused about what's going on oh my god i just googled it and she's like no that's why i feel uncomfortable that you asked me that but look at the other characters yeah the other

characters well a real wonky looking and then she's kind of like pushing her butt out toward the camera okay listen this is not my place to judge yeah i wish you hadn't asked me that okay let's so here's a um review of a of a show called booba i don't think i'd heard i wrote a blog piece about that show did you was? Was it on Honkers? But you accidentally mistyped and put an A at the end. It was supposed to be called Boob. I'm going to show you a picture of Booba. Please.

Oh, never mind. It's horrifying. It's really scary. Who dreamt that creature up? Are they in prison yet okay where are we this sounds like something we would watch alongside naughty's toyland yes yes so this i guess is on netflix it's has two seasons and uh it came out in 2014 and i imagine it didn't have more than two seasons, it looks like. So, Booba looks a little frightening, kind of like an old man with a lot of toes.

It's frightening, let me just put it this way. So, this is a one-star review of Booba written on Common Sense Media by an adult, it says. This is outrageous. This show is pure chaos. The character is so ugly and it's just simply weird booba shows bad behavior my child pulled a knife on me because he wanted to be more like booba oh no apparently all the adult reviews were like i was babysitting and they watched booba and all of a sudden they started tearing the curtains off agents christina it's something with the sleeper agents apparently this character runs around and like tips things over and breaks

shit and that's like the whole show and so kids watch it and are fascinated what the heck is going on i don't know when when listen to this trivia about booba when booba first came out it had long sharp nails but after the seventh episode it no longer has long nails also why are we calling it it that makes it even worse booba's claws turned to fingernails after the first few episodes and make him more friendly looking i just got chills i'm googling booba claws you can watch it it's on Netflix and on Prime it looks like oh my god oh my god funny bathroom episode okay I'm not gonna watch that I recommend you don't watch this all right so next up is an email from Lacey um it says XT and I looked up some of my favorite childhood movies to see if I could find a review for your

challenge the Titanic DVD onvd on amazon delivered amazon girl karen says call me crazy for this review yes karen i think i will so this is from lacy and it is a review of the titanic dvd by amazon girl karen verified purchase four stars and the title is billy zane whoo hot the only reason i even ever watch this movie is because i want to see billy zane he's so handsome and hot and i agree with what he said rose should have stuck with cal call me crazy but that's just how i feel i sure would have and given it a try to work i found the romance between rose and jack to be annoying and irritating. Wish there had been more scenes with Billy in the movie. It was over long, especially toward the end, but love the special effects.

Really amazing. End of review. And then I just want to add that Lacey wrote, P.P.S. If you and Blaze ever get divorced, I put my hand in, I put my hat in the ring for your hand, you beautiful goddess. Wait, talking about Billy Zane? To me.

Billy Zane said that to you billy zane and lacy said if you and blaze ever get divorced i put my hat in the ring married to billy zane for your hand you beautiful goddess um thank you lacy i've never seen titanic so this one didn't really hit me as hard except it does sound the way that i talk about the office complaining about him and the relationship relationship yeah um and i'm like we should have had more scenes with i don't know literally anyone else in them but anyway uh billy zane i just like i wish there were more scenes with billy I have no idea what Billy Zane looks like. I don't either. I feel bad. I'm letting down Amazon Karen. To be honest, I only watched the first VHS tape because there were two tapes. And we watched the first one.

And then, like, we're too lazy to put in the second one. Oh, I didn't even watch one. I know Dad had a copy on DVD from a film recording. Like, that he got it in China. He got, like, two discs. Like, they recorded it in the theater on DVD from a film recording like that. He got he got it in China. He got. Oh, right. Discs like they recorded it in the theater. Yeah. Theater recording on a camcorder.

Yeah. He had a few of those. Yeah. The statute of limitations is up, I think. So try and rest. He's a citizen now. That's true. So thank you, Lacey.

And then finally, I have one last last one so this is another one from twitter and daphne uh sent this in or commented after my post and um daphne's username is daf like scoob which is precious uh so daphne wrote semi-related and this is an amazon movie review of the movie the invisible man like the new that's the new one right yeah it says 2020 this is a verified purchase one star i like the girl who plays the main lead but i had a hard time judging the performance of her tormentor couldn't really see him oh my god that's so stupid that is so stupid that is a review of the invisible man end of review thank you Daphne um and that is what I have for you today Zandy that was a good finish I didn't

see that one coming I'm glad I asked because all the other ones were literally about like booba and I was like I need something that's an adult adjacent film. So thank you everyone on Twitter who contributed. You all amused me even if I didn't use it. So anyway, that's that. I have a challenge already ready for you. Oh, shit. Okay. So I will sit here while you find the theme and just stare at you judgingly.

Thank you. Okay. I know I told Zanny that I already had a challenge ready, but of course. She's really mean about it too. And then here I go. Wait a second second isn't it the holidays yeah so the one time i'm actually prepared with some sort of uh you know this happened in in thanks thanksgiving time i know i think so like the one time i'm prepared the second time i'm prepared we throw it all away i'll have a challenge ready for next time.

And so what we're going to do is holiday reviews. So if you have any, send them in. Maybe we'll use them. Yeah, some of you already have. Yes, I do appreciate that. So anything you can think of, we're going to do holiday reviews for next. Because the episode comes out the 23rd. And I'm very excited for that one.

It's always a fun one. It's going to be a fun one it's gonna be a weird one but it just kind of hit me how close we are to christmas which is scary yes definitely doesn't feel like it at least on my in my end of the world no it kind of alarmed me when you told me that yeah um came to a surprise for me as well so um yeah thanks everyone for uh listening to this episode the end goodbye goodbye oh we're getting good at that sandy no no no i just need to go to the bathroom so i just want to get out of here okay bye Okay, bye.