Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 110: Ghost Towns in Texas

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

Wait... what's that noise? Oh god Vicki's coming! Hurry, climb up the rocks. No, the colorful ones! But wait, don't forget to ask first. Oh no it's too late... Check out our merch! https://store.dftba....com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:13 Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if i could hello and welcome to beach to sandy water to wet the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion my name is is Alex. And I'm Christine. Welcome to our special, special episode on Ghost Towns in Texas, USA. Can I actually introduce the theme quick? Oh, sorry. I have something special planned. The theme this week is... Ghost Towns in Texas.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Why did you do that? Because it was fitting. You did not ask my permission to make that horrible sound. You did not expect that, did you? Oh my god. I really didn't know where we were headed and for good reason apparently. You're welcome. That's frightening. You've had a lot of time on your hands, huh? I'm a professional Twitch streamer now, so I need to do things like that to embarrass myself on stream. Do you have like a keyboard that does fun little demo reels and tunes? It's called a stream deck. Yeah. One thing I do is I play the Sonic the Hedgehog theme.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Gotta go fast, that thing. And then I do speed dabs, so I just do a bunch of dabs in a row. Oh, God god i also have this sound you want to hear another sound no are you sure are you sure is it working why aren't you reacting hey blaze i'm actually done for the day do you think we could just order some indian and we're just gonna pass on this week's episode oh oh sorry am i supposed to still be sticking the people love it you know it okay i'm done though i'm done i'm done that's good do you want me to go first sure okay this is a review of terlingua terlingua ghost town
Starting point is 00:03:21 in texas usa Sounds good to me. This is a one-star review by Ken. Millionaires that argue about electronics. People that suppress where your ex-wife and stepchildren are from. Texas. People that suppress that you have been to Nice, France. Really expensive food, terrible service, including getting charged for raw chicken burritos at the Chili Pepper. People that argue
Starting point is 00:03:50 about where you were born and worked and have never been there, but they saw a Daily Blast live and you are wrong. Also a gal named Vicky that ran over another gal for season four of Dallas and never returned it. This place is straight out of Hollywood, California.
Starting point is 00:04:06 End of review. I'm no, I don't know. Please, no. What is that? It's a fever dream, I think. What happened? I know it's been a while since I've lived in Hollywood, California, but it doesn't ring a bell, totally.
Starting point is 00:04:22 As someone who lives there now it rings many bells does it alarm bells maybe yes yeah that this person knows about my my town my area so well too suppress where your ex-wife and stepchildren are from and suppress that you've been to nice france this isn't real person this is not a real thing. And raw chicken burritos also. Yeah, it made no sense. And then Vicky. What's up with Vicky? Vicky clearly ran someone over with her car,
Starting point is 00:04:54 is what she did. Texas, USA. God damn. I don't know what just happened, but my stomach hurts. It feels like I read another description of a t-shirt from our favorite t-shirt website. Yes, that's probably what it was.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah. That makes sense. There you go. go i mean it was a real profile really of a guy named ken yeah what was the last letter of ken's the first letter of ken's last name i don't think they tell you that on yelp just because because there's that that that satire account ken m so m have you not heard of ken m why does that sound so familiar ken m is all is on like well good twitter account but also like yahoo answers and was like answers really ridiculously and gets people to like respond but that it doesn't sound like ken m usually ken m is like really it's literally ken b okay okay so it's not not the same maybe Maybe it's a cheap knockoff. Like, it's not even satirical. It's just bizarre. No, I think he's very serious.
Starting point is 00:05:49 I mean, he talks about the restaurant, the chili pepper that's in town. Okay, let me read Beaver Creek Realty. This is his other review. Do you have to? Yeah. One star. There was hand-to-hand combat at 3395 East montezuma avenue in lake montezuma on 33 000 across state lines on property she sold one neighbor was seriously injured she made no
Starting point is 00:06:12 attempt to call the agent that sold the house i never heard back from mary at the board office debbie made no attempt to prosecute linda claudine or dobby? Now with the Dobby thing, I was like, okay, this just seems like someone's little off their rocker is just whatever. But then the Dobby thing, now I'm like,
Starting point is 00:06:32 wait, Dobby, is that a real name or is it a Harry Potter reference now? Well, it's a real person, I think, because I put last names. I just didn't read them. Oh, you didn't read Dobby's last name?
Starting point is 00:06:41 This is of a realty place and he's saying like someone was injured on her property. Is that what they're saying? I can't tell. Yes. It's all over the place, Christina. It's really obvious what he's saying.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I don't know why I keep having to explain to you everything he's saying. Ken does have no compliments or friends, unfortunately. No compliments. No compliments nor friends. But who knows where his ex-wife and stepchildren are from because that has been suppressed i wonder if her name is vicky i bet she lives in hollywood california oh man would like to meet her okay this one is of j lorraine texas ghost town. Full disclosure, this is a man-made ghost town. Is it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:28 And so they have a lot of events, a lot of concerts, and you can rent it out for weddings, parties, etc. Here's a review by Ronald, one star, who does speak to a little bit of what I said. I would write him a half a star,
Starting point is 00:07:44 because the beer wasn't even cold. The place is all man-made and what seems to be run by a bunch of drunks. No kind of guide, no kind of story. Just walk at your own pace to look at your own stuff. The thing was a complete joke, have nothing to do with ghosts, and the only thing to do with the old western town was the replicas of a town that was built. Don't take your kids built don't take your kids don't take your friends take your ex-wife and leave her and then we'll have a ghost on our hands finally drop vicky off this the whole plan is to just actually make it a real ghost town wow i love the number of people who really think that has to do with ghosts that happened a lot
Starting point is 00:08:23 for better for worse that is so true though like there were so many people frustrated about that and i'm like don't the lack of good the lack of spirit supernatural activity means but yes not quite not quite i guess in a man-made ghost town it could really mean anything but um i love that reminds me of the guy who said i wouldn't share this with my ex-wife or whatever the hell that one guy's weird insult was yeah oh my gosh okay this is another view of terlingua ghost town by tasha nothing to see but has colorful rocks we drove here from Big Bend because I heard good reviews. I can't say
Starting point is 00:09:06 it was waste of gas and time, but I don't suggest anyone to drive far for this. If you are nearby, great, stop here. Perhaps I have a different opinion and expectation about Ghost Town. This town appears not ghostly at all, but more like trashy. If you drive a few minutes further from here, there is an interesting colorful rocks we didn't climb as it looked like a private property although no sign prohibit visitors to enter you can climb and take pictures if you ask nicely i don't know end of review who wait who was telling that okay tasha wants you to climb the rocks so that she can tell if she's going to get in trouble or not. That makes sense. No, no, you do it.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I don't know. I don't know. And then she hides behind a bush. And when you get in big, big trouble for trespassing, she's like, I said, I don't know. I was a little impressed when they said, it looks like private property, so don't do it, but do it. Then they said that. But also, you do it. Yeah. But also, I don't do it but do it but then they said that you do it yeah but also i don't know she also said you can climb and take pictures if you ask nicely
Starting point is 00:10:11 yep who are we asking you her yes she'll allow it still there she's standing there waiting for people to enter christina she started this review with the colorful rocks ended it with the colorful rocks that's true she's she loves these rocks her life has become colorful rocks i mean an amalgamation of colorful rocks i mean can you blame her is that like a coldplay album colorful rocks yeah an alga amalgamation of colorful rocks yeah yeah that's actually my favorite one yellow is on there that's right and then you go like this isn't that how the song goes i think that's uh viva la vida or whatever i used to rule the world yellow is a really sad one no i i know yellow i just said yellow and you're like that's the one that goes no the album the album's the one where you go where i do that yep okay if you ask nicely i don't know i don't know here is a review of devil's pocket which wink i don't know i don't know what this is it just came up with ghost
Starting point is 00:11:20 i don't know climb it if you dare i mean if you ask nicely hey sandy what you know what i mean i have blocked that out of my memory until now oh my god this review contains sexy stuff you know what i mean no this colorful rock contains consumerism the consumer reaching in the devil's pocket you know what i mean okay oh god here's a review by uh amalgamation i had to come up with some name i was like that is the coolest coincidence ever okay it just the real name starts with m so i said why don't you just make it maga nation stop r.i.p oh my god awful awful awful one star devil's pocket five stars it's nice and peaceful plus the cops don't go out there end of review oh dear god no that's why it's so peaceful, though. Cops aren't there. Somebody.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Am I right? Are we sure that's why? It's not because there are just dead bodies strewn about. Oh, I didn't think about that one. Oh, I assume Maga Nation was just, like, taking their victims out into devil's pocket and just stuffing them in the pocket and leaving them. I was going to say, where do you think it got its name? Under the Stars.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Jesus, that's poetic. It's peaceful, Zany. That's poetic, Christina. Beautiful. Is that where you want to end up? Devil's Pocket Under the Stars where no cops are around? Sounds pretty nice to me. Sounds like another track on that Coldplay album.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Wow, I don't know. That's really alarming in some way way I don't know what way though I think you're right like it could go either way either it's calm because there's no cops about or it's calm because people take advantage of no cops about and uh make bad bad things happen there well I feel like this next one actually kind of every review i have is like a little bit like off remember how in that one um it was like breweries and little rock where we just kept saying something's in the water yes it's sort of like that where now that i'm kind of reading them back to back i'm like not much of this makes total sense so i have another review of terlingua
Starting point is 00:13:43 ghost town and this is a two-star review by lou and oh by the way every couple words is like entered as if it were a poem sort of like a stanzas you know so i'm gonna read it with kind of a pause so you know where the so i can soak it in here we go yeah exactly scary night. Two places to eat. Starlight and High Sierra. Both bad at best. Service is awful. Scary at night.
Starting point is 00:14:13 To walk around. Dirty, nasty environment. End of review. That actually was poetic. It's beautiful, huh? Yeah, actually. I think if you put the melody, it goes... yeah actually i think like if you put the melody goes bum bum did you forget how it goes oh well because i used to rule the world as a lot of
Starting point is 00:14:33 syllables so i was trying to find any of the lines that kind of fit but it really doesn't i'm not surprised christina that this scary at night no that doesn't work does it keep trying christina keep trying i have faith in you i'm so sorry i do like again this is like the ghost town the the title of it was scared oh that's why i wrote title i didn't understand why there was the word title there because it's the title i figured it out the title was scary at night oh this is on tripadvisor and so then the poem is two places to eat starlight and high sierra both bad at best service is awful scary at night to walk around dirty nasty environment wow wait so scary at night is actually kind of a beautiful title yeah and actually it's it's interesting once you said scary at night the second time i had that moment of oh that's the
Starting point is 00:15:23 name that's the name of it that's i've heard that before when in a movie it like they say the title of the movie and you freak out it's like oh that's the name of this review oh my god when they reference it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and you're like this must be important yes very second clicked clicked i guess i should pay attention and stop eating my raisinets. What? You don't. The worst candy ever? How dare you? Are you actually a fan of raisinets? Oxenar, yes, I fucking love raisinets.
Starting point is 00:15:53 You know that. You don't know that about me? No, that's disgusting. We haven't been to a movie in a long time. I think since like Pocahontas or something. In like 1996. Excuse me? Christina, the pandemic has only been happening for like a year
Starting point is 00:16:07 are you sure it feels like it hasn't been since 1996 23 oh my god what is happening i don't know i feel a little off wait did i write all these reviews because i feel really i'm so sorry what if i just wrote for sure weird fucking poems about the places we're covering something's in the raisinets so uh so yeah scary at night that's another one anyway point being that's another one where they're like ghost town that's right it's very scary i guess a ghost town would be scary anyway. Yeah. It's abandoned.
Starting point is 00:16:45 And I think it kind of makes sense, an old timey kind of thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, you would have a ghost since Vicky drives people over. So true. Like people's ex-wives. There would probably be some vengeful ghosts. What's that town called? Terlinga?
Starting point is 00:17:01 Terlinga, yeah. It was actually one of the biggest cities in texas before vicky showed up and her like vicky ran everyone over her 18 wheeler she showed up and just fucking just bowled through the town do you know where she went next no where hollywood Wait, what's that sound? Christina. Oh, my God. Vicky, no. Climb up those colorful rocks, but only if you ask nicely. Or Vicky will bowl you over with her truck. Or Vicky will bowl you over. That's why they call Terlinga the Hollywood of Texas.
Starting point is 00:17:44 That's why they say it. That's why i'm moving there both bad at best um i made a an executive decision just now i decided to read another one of these devil's pocket reviews it is a two-star one so we're going back we're going back to negative okay this is a two-star review by Jonathan. Of Devil's Pocket. The devil for sure has the internet and cell service in his pocket. Smirk face. Eye roll emoji. End of review.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Okay, you're kind of defeating the purpose by posting a review about it but i guess you know that's beside what if that what if he is the devil oh my god that's a smirk face it's like my wi-fi now i sure do face the devil makes yeah when he puts you in his little bfg pocket the bfg pocket what a reference. Alexander. What? What is going on in this place? Devil's pocket. Is that a ghost town? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:50 I've never even heard of it. No, I know. I looked it up and it's just like just an area. Devil's pocket. Devil's pocket. Yeah, it is an area. But like it's not like it's not like a ghost town as in. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Is a flat pie shaped area bounded on the west by Nichols... Okay, this is so boring. This is on T... This is a Texas State Historical Association online.org. Oh my god, wait a second. Hold on, hold on. I haven't looked this up. This actually seems fascinating. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Local residents have at least three explanations for the area's ominous name. One holds that early settlers, already plagued by bad luck and poor weather, saw a meteor hit the earth in the dense basin forest. This meteor's impact is said to have formed a depression that became a small lake. A second version holds that outlaws and other unsavory characters used the area as a hideout. A second version holds that outlaws and other unsavory characters used the area as a hideout. Still, a third account argues that the Devil's Pocket derived its name from the large numbers of water moccasins that inhabited the stagnant pools left there by a change in the course of the Sabine River. I don't know. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:00 I'm looking up water moccasins. Thank you. Oh, I think you meant Akistradon Pas piscivorous yes yes i did it's the latinate oh my god that is not what i was expecting i'm scared what do you think a water moccasin is um i assume it's not a shoe i it's not a shoe that is a good guess is it like like a snake send you this oh it is a snake oh my god it's a really scary scary scary snake i thought it was a bug oh okay like a like a like a what are those silverfish and you think that everyone saw those and was like the devil's pocket that's what i certainly would say so wait so they okay
Starting point is 00:20:41 hang on none of that makes any freaking sense so the the rationale here is oh there's a meteor and a bunch of snakes oh wait actually yeah that does never mind i take it back yeah saying it out loud i certainly yeah why are you questioning this no wonder it's a ghost town yeah so texas almanac says devil's pocket is not incorporated status our records indicate that the town of devil's pocket no longer exists so it is in fact a ghost town wow spooky so there's no wi-fi i love that the person complains about no wi-fi like hey i'm surrounded by snakes but there's no wi-fi so uh-huh too bad okay i have a review of j lorraine ghost town this is a once review by lars oh this is another one's anywhere that's like separated by lines as in like beautiful versus
Starting point is 00:21:34 yeah worst place to hold an event just had an event major safety issues code issues we were inside the saloon and it started to pour the place was put together so horribly that instantly there were leaks everywhere the leaks were leaking that is that's uh i i i mean that's a miracle i actually think maybe i wrote this in the third grade that sounds like like an act of god that the even the leaks were leaking that's how you know you're in the devil's pocket the leaks were leaking. On electrical wires, throughout the whole complex, standing, water, everywhere. We were all scared. If lightning would have struck the ground near us, God forbid, with a bunch of commas. God forbid. It scares me to think what would have happened i recommend this place
Starting point is 00:22:47 why i i reckon i recommend this place to visit and take some neat pics that's it otherwise this place is a death trap end of review you should definitely go for your wedding photography but only if you don't mind leaks leaking and uh snakes or whatever the hell is going on electrical wires are busting at the seams and lightning is striking oh yes there's lightning this does not seem like a safe situation but is all of this is a loaded question but is all of texas like where satan lives as someone who has been to texas yeah okay because that explains a lot because i'm like yeah we were in devil's pocket but like even here in this ghost town there is lightning striking the earth there is i mean he even wrote god forbid it just seems
Starting point is 00:23:47 a little bit like hell yeah yeah it's yeah i think it literally is good glad we just lost all our texas listeners well you know what that's what they get for living with the devil i know it's fun to ride around in his pocket i know how appealing it sounds and it sounds like you're gonna have a good time but you don't know what you're selling it's your soul when you hop into that little pocket hop to that little pocket hop it into that little hop into that little pocket you gotta insert yourself in there make yourself nice and cozy it's a hot pocket oh dear at least it has internet and cell service though um smirk smirk i have another review this is of uh old bluffton ghost town in bluffton texas this is a five-star review by Bartholomew.
Starting point is 00:24:48 This is not a tourist attraction that can be visited under normal circumstances, as it is located at the bottom of the lake. End of review. A lake of burning sulfur. Again, we're still in hell. What? Christina. Is it literally? literally yes it is fascinating
Starting point is 00:25:07 i like that that's i'm very glad i found this because it is literally underwater but some years when it when there's a big drought the water will go down what and you can and like the town will like well not literally but like will rise so then you'll actually get to see parts of the town. Was it like it used to be a town and then it drowned? Yeah. Sounds like another poem coming on. So there is Bluffton, Texas, which is where people live now. But the old town of old Bluffton is now underwater.
Starting point is 00:25:41 So old Bluffton is underwater. So new Bluffton is dry for now exactly wow it was actually like really interesting to read about i know how much you love the texas historical website but maybe let's not read another another no i'm not you can look it up yourselves everyone old bluffton because it seemed it's very interesting and i would like to visit but people did complain we don't know about that um how come it's like atlantis we do now in texas christina i think that that is that's that's actually what that movie that disney movie that's where it was filmed oh it's also animated down there yeah but no it wasn't i mean i know it looks animated but
Starting point is 00:26:19 that was that's actually what the people of old bluff didn't look like sandy what real talk yes i'm looking at pictures of it it's terrifying and there's like graves so do the bodies just like not rise with the water not with the water they rise by themselves it's called zombies it's called hell i know i'm sorry you're right i get it now yeah no it's it's it's it's frightening i know i hope this is no one's first episode i promise like sometimes we make some a little slightly more sense than this we say that every week um i know but yeah no christina uh and i love how like earlier we were like oh people equate ghost towns with ghosts and then now we're like spooky graves and there's a graveyard underwater okay to be fair that's not
Starting point is 00:27:07 what i was taught about what a ghost town is okay little miseducated but clearly i'm not educated that's kind of my point i don't have any more reviews are you serious yeah i only had four oh nice okay sorry i just threw another one in i do have one more perfect um but this one is perfect timing because it is a segue into your actually i hope you didn't find this one i didn't find okay so what if it is because your challenge was to find reviews where someone reviewed somewhere else right uh-huh a compete a competitor yeah um did you have any ghost tours no okay good because i was actually looking up our challenge or sorry our theme of ghost towns when I
Starting point is 00:27:46 came across Houston Ghost Tour, and I was really low on reviews, and I thought, might as well just see if there's something in here. Oh, that's funny. Okay. And sure enough, there was a one-star review of Houston Ghost Tour, and this is what it says. Horrible people. I do not recommend this group of scammers they literally assaulted another
Starting point is 00:28:07 tour group and about 40 plus of us witnessed it end of review okay now the response from the owner this is a fake review posted by a competing company you have been reported end of response and you might be thinking okay this might be just one of those companies that says that no matter what, like whenever they get a negative review, literally the name of the reviewer is The Beyond Paranormal. Shut up. I googled it. Sure enough, it's a ghost investigation company that reviewed this other ghost tour. How like dumb can you be? And they also like reviewed a walmart negatively like it was i they might have not switched their own another competing
Starting point is 00:28:52 franchise walmart oh wow xandy so okay wow that was not smooth on their part not at all but also like listen i feel for that other hou ghost company, but like report it to whom? To whom are you reporting this? Because it's still there. Yeah, obviously. And this was four months ago. I don't know. Or no, the review was a year ago and the response was four months ago.
Starting point is 00:29:17 So it took them a little bit of time to respond. Maybe they were trying to figure out who it was. And then finally they were like, oh, the name says the literal company. Actually, now that I think of it, maybe they just changed their, they were like, oh, I'm going to use my personal email. And like they changed their email. So like originally it had been someone else and they changed it. Oh, they changed their Gmail to their company.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Or something. And then so it changed. Oh, my God. I'm just totally, that's out of left field. That would have been hilarious. That was even funnier because then they like totally didn't do it on purpose but got completely caught red-handed wow that's pretty fucking rude to do that if i saw that i would not want to pay that company money i think that's pretty shaky and if there was some sort of actual assault like i assume there'd be police called and uh this would be a situation that would be dealt with outside of Google reviews.
Starting point is 00:30:07 But who knows? Yeah. Also has nothing to do with scam arts. Scam arts. Yeah. Scam arts. The art of scam. The art of the scam.
Starting point is 00:30:15 How to win friends and scam people. All right. So with that, why don't we get into your scammy reviews? Okay. So I had the challenge fromalie to find a competitor reviewing someone else's brand and i had a good time with this i actually am going to start with a redemption like a fully positive review um because it's just nice and easy and then the rest are just you know more troubling so this is a review of little furry things llc five stars by
Starting point is 00:30:49 sharon i couldn't be happier with little furry things for taking care of my young anxious frenchie and lazy kitty while i took a much needed vacation in full disclosure i own a pet sitting slash training company and i'm not an easy to please mommy. I delayed this vacation for almost a year because I felt too guilty to leave thinking they would miss me too much. I knew little furry things would take great care of my kids and the daily updates allowed me to relax, which was needed.
Starting point is 00:31:17 I am pretty sure my dog misses his little furry things caregivers and he looks forward to me taking another vacation soon. Smiley face. Oh my god. Isn't that the nicest, sweetest thing you've ever heard? Thank you for that. furry things caregivers and he looks forward to me taking another vacation soon smiley face oh my god it's not the nicest sweetest thing you've ever heard for that yeah you should have ended with that well i know but i didn't want to i just i want you to have that in the back of your mind as we go forward so the next thing i did which i don't know if this is the first time we've ever done this i'm gonna read a review we've already read oh but so like the on purpose like i feel like that's something we could have done by accident but this is on purpose okay what if i was like this is a review of terlingua ghost town i just read like one of these from 20 minutes ago um okay wrote down what i said for one of mine or that
Starting point is 00:32:06 last one i read you just like typed it out as i read it and you're like okay i can use this there is no internet smirk uh yeah so this so i remembered while i was doing my research that we did an episode on psychics in albuquerque and i remembered the name because in the 100th episode dad called it psychics in albuquerque new mexico uh and i remembered we were talking about like the seedy underbelly of psychics in new mexico and i remember getting like really caught up in like one psychic reviewing another psychic so what i did was i found that actual instance and this is what happened and this is episode 41 so it's been a while so i wrote xandy read a review of love spell and the review was written by rose marie so i'm gonna read the review warning fake fake fake bad service and did not refund money too much money
Starting point is 00:33:01 and lies making promises that are not kept and has not given results so then you clicked on rosemary's page and she had eight total reviews one of which was for a different page called rosemary's psychic spiritual reader and advisor so rosemary reviewed herself um alongside a different uh competing psychic rosemary rosemary really i mean i had to think i had forgiven her and to think after all this time we are finally let it go you gotta call your therapist later you just start at square one um so this is Rosemary's review of herself. This is a five star review. She is a very intuitive reader. Very gifted.
Starting point is 00:33:50 Very friendly. Made me comfortable. Would highly recommend Rosemary. She has been right about so many things. Very accurate and has become my one and only advisor. Been to others before and they never gave me as much detail or info as she has end of review of herself rosemary i mean you know what who knows yourself better than yourself that's it that's what we always say yeah i say that a lot i just love that
Starting point is 00:34:19 like nobody else is giving me the same information that i'm giving myself and it's like i i only go to myself for this like if you're a psychic i don't blame you uh for going to yourself for psychic services i'm sure i would do the same but um also just love like how the other review of this other page was so like not even well done like it wasn't like oh she scammed me out of money it was just like she made false promises and she gave no results fake fake fake fake warning like it's just like she didn't even take the time to really constructively write something a little convincing convincing you know yeah so anyway that was uh that was just a throwback for you and then we received an email i'm sorry i'm like blowing through these we received an email from shy who said uh who suggested that for my challenge i check out the wendy's twitter page because have
Starting point is 00:35:23 you ever seen it yes like wendy's the fast food so they're known for being wendy oh i think wendy williams i i i do hate that you clarified wendy's to me that's why i made that joke so blank yeah because i was like why would you even ask oh you mean when you brought up wendy's to me that's why i made that joke so blank yeah because i was like why would you even ask oh you mean when you brought up wendy's yeah that's like do you know about their twitter yes christina yes okay okay okay so uh they're known for believe me no but like you're acting like i was so like rude to ask if you've heard of their twitter page well it's i don't know i just i feel like most people probably have not christina maybe in your bubble i don't really have a bubble sorry
Starting point is 00:36:11 i don't know okay i live in my own bubble i'm my one and only spiritual advisor okay okay yeah true you actually only follow one person on twitter and it's yourself that's it's me and wendy williams anyway okay sorry for looking being so blank i do know of wendy's twitter account i know all of the stuff with the spicy nuggets that they did i yes okay fine then i'll tell everybody else and if you don't know don't feel bad because i'm sure not everybody you should feel so bad you're not an outsider's bubble you can come to my bubble okay uh wendy's has like a twitter page that's pretty savage that's the word that the internet okay i was gonna you're so youthful today i tried to say it and then i felt goosebumps because i got so nervous so i had to clarify that that was not my lingo or jargon so wendy's would roast the shit out of me right now i gotta say um anyway so they they're
Starting point is 00:37:10 known for like hating on other fast food corporations or people who call them out on twitter and whoever runs their page is like very clever and uh funny okay so i'm just gonna read two for you here mcdonald's corporation tweeted i think i know this one you probably do okay sorry i don't want to be annoying okay oh i for once we start over like the entire podcast should we start a new podcast actually we should probably start a new podcast if that's the case we don't want to confuse anyone about what's changed so dramatically okay so mcdonald's corporation tweeted black friday and then a bunch of asterisks that in between says need copy and link so essentially they put out a tweet without you know checking that the the copy and link were included so So it says Black Friday need copy and link.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Now Wendy's quoted this and retweeted, when the tweets are as broken as the ice cream machine. I just thought that was so silly. Now Justin asked, okay, this is Justin's question. Going to In-N-Out, what should I get at Wendy's? Wendy's replied, out. Oh, my God. I have not heard that one.
Starting point is 00:38:35 That's a good one. What should I get out? So these are my personal favorites, I got to say. They're both from 2017. I hear they're still kind of kicking. So that was my... Thank you, Shai, for sending that in. Sorry, Alexander, acted like we're a bunch of...
Starting point is 00:38:55 I don't know. It's not everyone else. It's just you, Christina. I just took it very personally when you acted like I was a millennial or something. I was doing it to be like, hey, do you know about this? And you'd be like, yeah, like how they savagely roast people online so that I didn't have to say the word savage. And instead, you made me use the jargon that I don't even really understand.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Sorry, let me try again. Yeah, they like swag all over their haters, you know? That's what Wendy's does on Twitter twitter my dude is that better wendy williams yeah yeah that was better i think that made everyone feel a lot less stupid in relation to you yeah one time i accidentally tweeted asterisks and like a copy thing like McDonald's did. Wendy Williams tweeted it, retweeted it and said, when your tweet is as broken as at Zandy Schieffer. is so high standard that you need to prepare copy and links in advance to upload into some sort of you know digital platform that will then share your tweets i love that about you that you take it so seriously for all your how many three followers three followers i've won yeah i
Starting point is 00:40:19 wendy yeah i uh i take it pretty seriously because my therapist told me that I'm a content creator. Like, he calls me that. So I was like, you know what? Let me really lean into this. So I do all this work and it doesn't pay off. But that's okay because my therapist approves. That's all we want. It is all I want.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Shout out to John. That's all we in the Schieffer family want is the approval of um somebody we talk to over zoom once a week and it's not our parents and not each other and not each other okay that i mean we all know that's a lost cause true all right well thank you for listening i actually prepared a challenge today and then i uh really passo aggressively told alexander so that he would prepare a theme yeah and guess what i have one it worked yeah and it's not a state it's throughout the entire country oh because we are fucking doing it big here we're content creators we are content i'm not i have to ask my therapist first yes but i'll ask my therapist for you yeah exactly yeah yeah we do have that that meeting
Starting point is 00:41:26 the two the three of us together this week oh the shared therapist yeah the shared therapist and uh yeah because sometimes we call him dad but most of the time we call him our shared therapist um anyway we are doing reviews of golden Corral. Yes, Alexander. That's such a good one. I knew you'd approve. Oh, I love this. And that's not going to be hard to find reviews. We're going to be drowning in reviews.
Starting point is 00:41:54 I was going to say, maybe I should have done a state because it's going to be a little broad. But you know what? It'll keep things interesting. Let's go. Yeah, that's going to be one of those weird weeks, I have a feeling. So I have a challenge for you. This was sent in by Mary, who wrote a really nice message, first of all, about my recent YouTube video, and then sent two great challenges.
Starting point is 00:42:14 So for you, I thought next week it would be fun to find a review where the reviewer gets a common idiom incorrect. where the reviewer gets a common idiom incorrect. For example, they say something like, a bird in the hand saves time, or absence speaks louder than words. Those are very specific. I know. Mary, do you have personal experience with those?
Starting point is 00:42:38 Are those the ones you struggle with? I read them twice. I went, are those wrong? I know. The first one, I was like, wait a second. A bird in the hand. I don't freaking know what that's supposed to say. But I mean, I would just talk to our therapist, I mean, dad, and see, like, record him for about five minutes.
Starting point is 00:42:54 And he'll probably have like 40 different idioms. Fair. Mom and dad are great at kind of making up their own idioms. Oh, yeah. They combine them all the time. All the time. Yeah. kind of making up their own oh yeah they combine them all the time it's all the time yeah but which then uh i proceeded to do when i went to college and people were not used to my vernacular and i
Starting point is 00:43:12 started saying really incorrect idioms and uh it's haunted me ever since really so yeah your turn my turn for incorrect idioms or what to feel haunted haunted by our parents' vernacular. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait. We do take turns. Shared custody. Shared custody of our shame. Of our shame. Wow, God.
Starting point is 00:43:35 That was poetic. I need a drink of water. I don't know. You need something. Maybe we need to go. Oh, yeah. I should probably leave. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Okay. Well, see you all next week, I guess. Okay. I'm going to go call Ken. Is that your therapist? Christina, his name is John. I talk about him all the time. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:43:57 I wanted to give him a pseudonym. Oh, wait. Wait. Here's one. Dad calls it a pseudonym. That's a good one. There you go. There you go. First one.
Starting point is 00:44:03 First one. Okay, Mary. I hope that me and Bernie can make you proud next week you mean ken ken Bye.

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