Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 119: Reviews of Crystal Shops

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

Christine is throwing stinging bites at reviewers while Alex wonders where you were all conceived. Check out our new poster! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Follow us on TikTok! tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. hello everybody and welcome to episode 119 this is the podcast beach tea sandy water too wet where we are siblings and also we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion i am sibling number one christine i'm sibling number two alex hello hello this week we're doing what i was very excited about, which is crystal stores.

Yes. We love a good metaphysical type location. Love a good metaphysical. I found one near me. Oh, great. Let's go check it out. And it opens again because it's been temporarily closed. It opens in two weeks, but I did an online pickup order already.

What'd you get? So instead of reviews, I just kind of started shopping uh which happens actually kind of a lot uh when we do these um i ordered a a candle snuffer okay and i ordered some incense very nice and i'd like some new tarot cards if we ever go stop over there is there anything special about this uh that was a hint right what about the tarot cards for me because don't you have to buy someone else has to buy tarot cards for you that's your first deck oh my god to be given to you got it but i mean actually i think actually i changed my mind every deck is supposed to be given oh yeah you could have gotten me there because i would have been like oh younger sibling got it okay no because

i'm not about to deal with the tweets from people who are telling me i'm doing spiritual shit wrong because like i could tell you that already anyway we might get them anyway after this episode we'll see i'm sure we will um this is our podcast yes i think you have more review i i have a few quite a few but i think you have one more than i do so why don't you go ahead let's go ahead so i'm a little embarrassed um should be the first one i i tried doing crystal shops in montana and i was going through them and like wasn't really paying attention to what each one was. There were plenty of crystal shops. And then I found this one.

Let me guess. It's a jeweler. It's called Crystal Winters and it's more of like a gift shop. They might have gems and stuff. So it's not really a metaphysical store, but it's more of a gift shop. Definitely pulling a Christine here. Don't at me about what this place is if you live in Montana. This is a one star review of Crystal Winters. Actually, why don't you just not place is if you live in montana this is a one-star review of

crystal winters actually why don't you just not add us if you live in montana let's just like make a blanket statement in general just kidding wow okay didn't come from me okay here's a one-star review of crystal winters cool stuff just wish they wouldn't always hang that canadian flag everywhere in the middle of montana and go back to your country oh my god it's just like people in montana want to feel like the rest of us you know where they're you know larger hispanic populations and they want to say you know what go back to your country but since you know in los angeles there is a much greater mexican population than there is montana they just make do with what they have exactly our canadians so true so true close enough i mean come on build a wall it's ridiculous i like i fucking wall let's hope canada pays for it they would

because why would they want us out. They'd be like, we already built a wall, actually. We built a big moat, actually, and you're not allowed over here. God damn. That's beautiful and really strange. Well, I have a review here, and this is from House of Intuition, which is a famed, a reputed metaphysical shop in Los Angeles. This is a two-star view by Lauren.

Wow. I always go with my vibes and intuition on everything. I showed up tonight at 8.58 PM after struggling to find parking at the last minute. I even called before I came in and she said, we close in three minutes. I called on the phone to see if she would go outside and take my credit card because I couldn't find, sorry, because I couldn't find parking. I already knew what I wanted anyway, but she said no. Then I looked over and saw someone freeing up a parking space all of a sudden. I thought, wow, it's meant to be. I parked, then I walked in at 8.58 PM and she said, sorry, we are closed. I'm like, I already know what I parked, then I walked in at 8.58pm and she said, sorry, we are closed.

I'm like, I already know what I want, so can I just grab it real quick? Her response was, please hurry up. I was like, whoa, wait a minute. Bad energy. Bad energy. I walked right out the door because I don't want any stones or candles with negativity attached to it. The girl who is here tonight really really needs to

work on the energy that she is projecting out to the universe i would not suggest buying anything from this place until it gets a proper smudging and a full cleanse from all negativity in a review yeah it's good you know no they have a point because after their appearance in the store they really need to cleanse it because this person is the one who brought the negativity that's why that uh cashier was so frustrated they were like now i need to cleanse it because this person is the one who brought the negativity. That's why that cashier was so frustrated. They were like, now I need to stay late to smudge the place. Exactly. This lady like barged in screaming from the parking.

Talk about negative energy. Are you kidding me? The audacity. I love the big fat lie that they said, oh, I called at 8.58 p.m. while I was looking for parking. And also I managed to find a parking spot and run in the store by 8.58 p.m., which is like, no, no, no. I'm sure that took you at least two minutes. I know. And they even gave you the opportunity to buy your thing. I love that they just ran out the store when the woman was like, yeah, go ahead.

You can buy it. This person would have been totally right to say no, actually. Even though you know exactly what you want, you have, you got to go. We're closed. But instead, they were nice enough. Lady. They were nice enough to say, you know what? Hurry up.

Hurry up. And we'll be good. Wait a minute. Bad energy. Bad energy. Yeah. And I bet this person said hurry up because they already dealt with them on the phone and they had the audacity to call and say, can come outside so i can pay like what credit card reader what

what oh i love it i love it um so that's that that is something oh my gosh okay this next one this is of uh crystal Shop in St. Louis. Two-star review. Kind of creepy inside, but the cat loves visitors. End of review. There's a response from the owner. Okay. Thank you.

End of response. Is there a question mark? There's a question mark. Shut up. Thank you, End of response. Is there a question mark? There is a question mark. Shut up. Thank you, I think. Alessandra, stop it. Honestly, I'm not... There are so many different...

Like, I went to different places, and so many said, this place was terrible, but I love the cat. The cat. The cat always is a redeeming factor. So that's probably why this person left two stars instead of one. But I do like the fact that they're like i don't want to be here except the cat really likes visitors so i think i should keep returning for the cat's sake though not for my own yeah like my lunch break's really short but this cat just loves visitors i don't blame them it's like

the bodega cats you know oh i love like shop cats. Such a great invention. I hope that one close to you has a shop cat. Me too. I'm just waiting for that one person to ruin shop cats by being like, I'm allergic and then cats are no longer allowed in stores. It would make me so sad. Where is this world going to? You like complaining about the potential canceling of cancel culture of cat shop cats. Yes, that's exactly what I'm complaining about. Just checking.

Just checking. Okay. So this is the part where I tell you honestly that I really struggled with this theme, even though it was my theme and it seems like an easy theme. I don't know why, but I read hundreds and hundreds of reviews and I struggled massively, which is why and I had the challenge which was also really difficult so i used some emails that were sent in so this one is from morgan and it is of nature's treasures a crystal shop in austin texas this is a one-star view by dallas that's interesting

i wonder where they were conceived oaks in our stuff now you have to explain that oh i don't okay one star seriously eat a bag of dicks if you have three lazy ass employees who can't be bothered to fucking say hello when customers with money walk in the door then you deserve no fucking sales on a friday night we plan our date night so i could buy early valent's slash birthday presents for my wife. I was prepared to spend $500 to $1,000. But the negative shit energy of your store turn is way off. Fuck you, and you can shove your negative attitudes and your $1,500 amethyst up your asses. Sorry if your own boring conversation was more important than selling product.

Oh, and I will be sharing this experience with all the online groups we belong to this business is clearly too comfortable making one or two overpriced sales a week to stay open condos are being put up all over austin can't wait until your store is leveled and new californians will have a place to live what this got this went all over the place went really aggressive anti-californian at the end too that was wild okay i didn't expect that that threw me off okay um wow i love when people walk around with a thousand dollars and insist that they were going to spend it all yeah and your shop and how they call themselves a customer with money like is that what a customer is like willing to spend

yeah oh my god um and i mean there didn't seem to be anything wrong except that the people were Like, is that what a customer is? Like, hello? Willing to spend, yeah. Oh, my God. And, I mean, there didn't seem to be anything wrong, except that the people were engaged in conversation instead of paying attention to this customer. Honestly, this is actually one of the most tragic reviews because this person went in and obviously required positivity because of how negative of a person they are. They needed this to work out for them um but they just couldn't overcome their own negativity they just couldn't do it

how tragic couldn't do it the customer with all the money oh oh i see i'm saying like they they went in because obviously there's a lot of shit wrong with them and they went in there trying to be healed or whatever they're going for. Didn't work. And it's not on the store. You know, some forces are just too negative. So you mean like they're like a demonic presence that needs to be smudged? A little more dramatic than what I meant, but that'll do. I'm trying to follow your formula here.

I'm saying this person was super negative. So they go into a crystal shop, which is all about like healing and positive energy and stuff. But this person would just was just so negative and such. Because listen to that. That was like they cussed all over the place were so aggressive. They were so negative that unfortunately the shop didn't work out for them. It just wasn't enough power. You know, the shop seems pretty damn negative.

You think? No, you're taking this person's side. Got it. Okay. Yeah, I am because it sounds like they were having a boring conversation. True. you know the shop seems pretty damn negative you think oh you're taking this person's side got it okay yeah i am because it sounds like they were having a boring conversation true and that's the only thing that it sounds like yeah happened well this person cussed up a storm with this information i can only assume this the store is at fault uh i will also add that um i can't wait to find out what online groups this person belongs to that they're going to share their experience. Well, apparently they made their way around and this was shared via email to us.

I wonder if the person that emailed this to us found it in a group making fun of the person like it spread. They spread it themselves and then brought all this on themselves. They're like, I'm going to post this and people are going to be on my side. And then everyone was like, nope. Well, it's like anytime somebody posts a review that goes viral and they think like, oh, everyone's going to get what I'm saying. And then everyone turns on you. Yeah. I feel like we should just learn our lessons, everyone, and just stop that.

Hmm? Hmm? Maybe not. All right. My next one is of Karma Care in Columbia, Maryland. One star. The service here is terrible. The woman who checked me out had a condescending tone.

It was obviously snobby. She was also extremely rude and insulted other stores in town. I originally went because I've heard good things about the prices, but these gems looked cheap. Not to mention that all of them need a deep cleaning after being around such negative energy. On top of that, you'd have to fill the room up halfway with salt just to cleanse her presence. i wouldn't recommend anyone go to this store after my experience end of review unless you bring some mortons with you to pour all over the floor wow no sea salt only oh sea salt only oh man i can't imagine i mean it is a perfect like all

these people have the perfect excuse though like this place is just who wants to buy crystals covered in negativity? And like, I mean, obviously they're not self-aware enough to realize that they're the problem. But if you talk about a crystal shop, it's pretty easy to just say the energy was off and like people who are going to a crystal store are going to be like, well, I don't be involved with negative energy it's a pretty easy accusation to throw around yeah it was yeah that was unfortunate there's so many one-star reviews that all it said was the vibes are bad and that's it are off yeah like the vibes are bad or one person screwed up all the vibes yeah and on the one hand though i guess if you have a shop like this you kind of are expecting that kind of thing where people will have the best. And people who come to your store will could react negatively to whatever. You better bring the best vibes if you're going to own a crystal store. Yeah. Good vibes only.

Do they say that? I thought they said impeccable, but OK. Oh, right. Shit. I forgot our own quote. I was like, wow, that's really not as funny as i thought it was and then thank you for fixing it for me um yeah but yeah there's so many people that just blame the vibes and unfortunately wouldn't have any concrete oh this happened

here's a one-star review it was more like the vibes were off let me give this small business a one-star review and just mess up their star rating on Google. That's the only time I'm actually, I already regret saying this. That's the only time I'm actually thankful for Yelp because they require you to say more than just the vibes are off. Because, I mean, granted, I don't really want to know any more than that for most people. So I regret saying all of this at the end. This was sent in by Megan. It's a one-star

review of a shop called the holy rose in raleigh north carolina megan explains that this shop has tons of expensive breakable merchandise displayed on shelves that are pretty close together and they have a shop cat named lord bastion and they're strict about their rules namely that kids and hashtag teens under 18 are not allowed inside and that you can't take pictures or videos of the merchandise and this is apparently clearly posted outside the shop. Okay, makes sense. One Star Review by Bart. I've never encountered a staff so rude in my entire life. I spent 20 minutes waiting for parking in their tiny cobblestone street where I struggled to parallel park because of no space. Then got turned away at the door, claiming that

I might break something and that some customers don't have money. I'm from Winston, out of town visiting, drove 30 minutes across Raleigh, never been here, dressed well, and also have money? I'm truly disgusted with this establishment. He said, I'm so sorry to me. With the most stinging bite, I couldn't believe what I heard, especially considering I had walked in the door only moments before. Don't buy anything from here as I'm sure it's been charged with awful energy and hateful vibes. Hateful skinny white guy with longish black hair and his rude coworker, some white girl with dry, blown out, dried black hair can go F themselves, grab a giant cactus quartz, and get after it. I vehemently regret spending time with this establishment.

Again, do not come to this place. Update. I was sent a terribly rude email by this dumb place telling me to take this review down, that I was yelling in the store. Absurdity! Tell your impulsive animals that you call employees to check their attitudes at the door. What if my wife was right around the corner and I could have simply given my son to her, then come back in, or maybe come back at a later date. Oh, you didn't think about that, did you? You decided to be rude and dismissive in the most proud, snobbish manner the instant I walked in the door and the moment you emailed me you guys really know how to get what you want huh customers money and good reviews now watch me take this review down you

watching end of review that was tough for me to read this is just what the hell is wrong with people i i sort of do get what you were saying earlier that like some people just really need a crystal the people who seem to need a crystal shop the most are just too far gone yeah for help yeah um okay for the record i didn't say that that if you need a crystal shop you're too far gone i meant that no i said some people who need a crystal shop the most are too far gone for help so they just come in and make it all worse yeah but uh so did you figure out what was going on so like there was they had a kid with them right yes they had their child which is not allowed mentioned yeah except until the update like they they purposefully left out information to make it seem like they were in the right when they're clearly posted rules and

and despite what this person how the person presented it they did apologize for it they said these are the rules and they even apologized even though they didn't have to because rules are rules i i think what you um are missing is that they said it in a stinging bite stinging bite my god this is clearly projecting i mean talk about stinging bite this whole freaking thing was a stinging bite this whole review was terrible one i really like that um they say they say uh what if my wife was right around the corner like what if what if um which obviously she wasn't because you wouldn't have said what if yeah it's just it's just all started with that cobblestone street. That was hilarious because it was like, oh, your street. Like immediately they're having issues with this store as if like they're in charge of the cobblestones.

I had trouble parallel parking. Yeah. Obviously, you brought it. Yeah. You summed it up by bringing up these people that they needed the most. But they're coming in with all this negativity. That's what you said, I thought. I know, but you said you you

kind of said it more succinctly yeah yes yeah there were some really sad ones where people were like the reading i got was blah blah and the response was like please seek actual help like this is not for you oh i didn't see that it was there were some dark ones like that i was like i'm not gonna bring those specific ones uh to the podcast but yeah no impeccable vibes only exactly exactly even though we read some of the worst things possible yeah no there's some really messed up ones because people go to these expecting miracles or something yeah and they sometimes don't get it oh anyway i'm gonna read a review of crystals candles and cauldrons it's in baltimore maryland this is a two-star review clean and well organized but they don't carry any satanic things end of review

i specifically brought that because it is a total opposite of most things we ever read here. Like literally if there's a remotely quote unquote satanic thing that someone sees, including at a Halloween event at Six Flags. I was about to say including Six Flags. They will freak the fuck out. And in this case, we get a negative review because there weren't satanic things. That is a new one. That is a first. That is the first and last world we'll ever hear somebody complaining about a lack of non-family friendly except maybe in our in our reviews i bet a lot

of people in our in our apple podcast reviews are asking for more satanic things but i doubt it because they don't like when we say the f word so i have a feeling satanic stuff isn't their jam wow okay so i mean and before we get tweets which i know we will but i i understand satanic it doesn't mean oh i worship satan to be clear um so yes i do understand that but you're right it is literally the opposite of anything we've ever read wow okay this is from alex it's a review of the Scarlet Sage Co. in San Francisco. This is a one-star review by Nicole. I usually say people who Yelp have no soul.

Therefore, when I Yelp, something's got to be really, really, really good or really, really fucking bad. And man, oh man, this place is bad. I've been in here hella times. The products and selection are really amazing. A bit overpriced, but that's to be expected with New Valencia. But the staff members are super uppity and rude. For a place of spiritual healing, y'all really just sponges that absorb so much negativity in your lives and expel it on everybody else. It's like every time I come in, Mercury's in retrograde

for at least one person in that place, even though planet alignment is good. It def showed on the chick with the nose ring and hella tattoos. That was the last draw for me. I was gonna drop mad money on face oils and your presence was so bad when you approached me I just had to dip. Shops with these vibes have got to go. Scarlet and Sage employees really out here adding to the negative stigma that's affecting the mission district. Who do you think you are, homegirl? Just another transplant hipster trying to fit in, I guess. Frown face. Hire more genuine employees. People who really want to heal.

People who are not passive aggressive. There are plenty more places in SF that sell the same products with people who really care about your well-being and they're not full of flexing fake hipsters. Gonna go cleanse myself of this bad energy that pushed me to even go off on yelp like this peace and love y'all end of review you cannot say peace and love y'all at the end and negate everything you said before that was very hateful just putting that out there friend my god okay these are wild these are like like we get a lot of like the karen of type things, complaining about silly stuff.

Yeah, these are totally next level. But these are like actually super negative, very personal, very hostile. This person's in particular, I'm going to insult- Very antagonistic. How they look. I'm going to insult how they act. I'm going to make all these wild assumptions about them. Yeah, very antagonistic.

And it's like wait you're reviewing the crystal shop here i just tell me y'all really just sponges oh yeah yeah you're right i love that how they're like people who yelp have no soul except for me this one time when i definitely have a soul and i'm definitely gonna yelp anyway projection yeah they so much projection here this next one is a celestial circle metaphysical store in palm harbor florida this is a two-star review by tiesto okay that's their actual i mean not their actual name but they used tiesto's name okay you didn't come up with that no i didn't make that up i swear this place needs more men and a review okay like you said these google reviews are wild in their own way like you get those freaking essays that are just

hateful and spewing all this terrible stuff and then i get other terrible stuff in its own way yeah that end of story it's a local guide too i don't need more men how do you get that must be how they became a local guide they just go around deciding what place needs more men and what place doesn't need more men yeah i would love that i should have checked but if they go around they're like this place doesn't need more men that's like Abercrombie doesn't need more men however this crystal shop certainly does you know I wish they just had more a little more context because it could be like oh I want to come here for the you know the dating scene like I would love to I'm I'm interested in men and I

would like to meet men here so we can pretend that's it because that's at least a little more positive please draw in more men so I can date them I guess for the record for the record they didn't say this place has too many women because that would be negative i see against women maybe there's nobody there maybe it's closed true okay this is my last one this is from veronica it's a review of a medical no it's not a medical physical store a medical medical supply store. No, a metaphysical supply store in Southington. I should have asked Blaze. I was going to. This is Stella Luna LLC.

Southington. I didn't get Southington. Southington. This is a one-star view by Alistair. I'm sitting in the parking lot on a Saturday at one o'clock. They are supposed to be open. Not keeping your hours puts you out of business. Thanks wasting my time and now here's a response from owner we are sorry to have missed you but we had a memorial service to attend

we posted the update on our facebook and instagram we always recommend checking there first i have a response oh i hate it can you imagine i hope they put that on every one star where it's like oh sorry i actually had a funeral to go to today actually that would just guilt everybody out of their one star review fuck though like we guilted someone out of a one star review once we did that was probably more than once and now i still feel guilty about that because oh my god but anyway yeah that's that's a ploy. That's a plan.

I did see one where someone complained that they went in and they were like, and they turned me away because they had an appointment. The person responding was like, my child was ill. I had to go. I had to rush out to go pick them up. And they said, children come first, period. And I was like, okay, yeah. Oh, I wish there was a shop that said the

opposite children come last children come last and you you already read a review of one of those places exactly there needs to be more of those dear customer you come first before my own children before my own flesh and blood jesus are you okay no okay um i guess i'll just read my last one then yay all right this next one is of a crystals herb and metaphysical shop in orlando florida that's a one star review by katie i've been a loyal customer and spent hundreds on various products. Today, I purchased a 1000mg CBD online which was $99 in the store but $59.99 online. I chose local pickup since I was already browsing inside the store and informed the cashier of my order. inside the store and informed the cashier of my order. A few minutes later, another cashier returns to the counter and tells me they refunded my order due to a human error. Someone misadvertised

the price online and did not catch their mistake until today. Mind you, I spent time inquiring about the product and price several times before my transaction. The cashier even confirmed the bottle size but failed to double check the price online. It's not my fault that she failed to perform her due diligence and double check online prices. I politely asked if they would honor the price that was quoted online. She said she honored me by refunding me as if she were doing me a favor or applied a discount. They did not have the common sense to tell me, hey, I am so sorry, but the I'll have to cancel slash refund the order since it wasn't listed correctly. No attempt at good customer service at all. Yet to no resolve, they didn't do anything to satisfy the customer or even offer anything for my time and loyalty.

Reputable businesses and professionals would have honored the online price, especially for loyal customers. But this establishment failed to show any appreciation for my ongoing business. I even referred family and friends, but it doesn't matter as long as they get every dime and nickel, right? My sister witnessed the incident and said she wouldn't return or recommend it due to the lack of customer service and professionalism. This experience has truly left a sour taste in my mouth. End of review. For God's sake, you're trying to cheat this company out of a product.

You're trying to cheat this company out of $40. I didn't even, the first time around when I first read it, I didn't even realize that this person was in the fucking store and ordered it online from the store because they noticed there was a price difference. Inside the store! Asking the cashier to look to to double check the size of the bottle yeah but didn't say hey can you confirm that it's 99 or they were probably like oh i got them now i got them now they did respond the owner so i'm just it's a response so i'm gonna read this quick response from the owner dear Katie, we do appreciate you and value you as a loyal customer.

In regards to the issue, Katie, we were very respectful, apologized multiple times, and have refunded your full amount within an hour of your purchase. We do appreciate you as a loyal customer, and your feedback helps us correct an issue which we gratefully appreciate. Which is that you weren't on our banned list yes exactly we're so grateful you'll never be back thank you for fixing this major human error that occurred this divine error that occurred correct pricing of cbd oil is clearly stated in store you mentioned you were in store when you placed the online order and also you mentioned quote i spent time inquiring about the product and price several times before my transaction. We are all humans, and we should help each other and not punish each other.

It is your choice to give us a one-star review or understand the situation. There is a lot positive we are doing, which you as a loyal customer, coming so many times, have experienced. As a small family business everybody in our organization strives to give the best experience with each and every customer as there is always room to improve we have apologized multiple times and have been nothing but nice to you we would be very happy to help you with an herbal or crystal consultation with a certified herbalist over a cup of tea email us to schedule a day at a time all of us will greatly appreciate if you reconsider your review end of response wow this is ludicrous behavior right i can't believe this

shop is even offering i mean obviously reviews matter to these companies because they're saying like please change your view will even offer like i, they're having to do something and swallow their pride that I would never be able to do. So true. To sit there and go, you know what? We respect you so much. We're all human, even though I would probably claim otherwise about this person. But wow, they're really, really being generous and kind to this person who's treating them like shit and saying,'ll do a free consultation which yikes i would love to i would pay to see that happen just to change the review i mean they're actively trying

to make things right when they did everything right already right exactly it's just gross this person is the most caring person we've i think we've encountered today so far like i mean christina i said this already with these people the audacity and like to think that it's okay to try to cheat a business a small business this isn't target yeah i understand one thing like tim was our stepdad was just telling a story about how they went to micro center and like they did price matching but it was like out of stock somewhere and it was like 20 bucks or something and they got a better deal but if you go to a you're fucking in the store trying to supposedly trying to support them the most ridiculous part is that they're shopping in the store and then they're like hey i just placed

an order for pickup it's just like what can you imagine who has to say that i'll be like not it when they're like okay we're gonna offer her a free consultation not it not me it's like whoever wasn't show didn't show up to work that day they're gonna whoever put the 59.99 has to offer a free consult a tea leaf reading oh lord that was rough um was that your last one that was in fact my last one well let's get to my challenge so this was from hayley it was to find a review where someone is displeased that a piece of media is too similar to their life this was hard because shoot yeah well because everybody likes things to be similar to their life like people want to be reminded of their themselves in their own life and everyone loves when i mean it was kind of

ridiculous the amount of people who said the the protagonist is so much like me. And I'm like, okay, well, no comment. But everybody kind of related to. Yeah. But there were some. I did find some. So I had to go all over the internet. The first place I discovered was TiVoCommunity.com.

TiVo? TiVoCommunity.com. this is a forum for tivo users it's still running as tivo still exists the most recent post was mark 8 2021 which is today so yes it is still in session let's put it that way was it was it by you it was by me saying hey this reminds me so much of myself this community reminds me so much of myself pulls out barstool sits down clinks glass cheers this but that is what it was it was like one of these forums where people were chatting with i mean they all had like tivo related names it was strange what like it would be like stevo but spelled with yes so the one that i have is tivo brian

tivo like o'brien but tivo brian so this is a review of confessions of a matchmaker which is sort of a reality show where a matchmaker sets people up with, you know, on dates with each other. Confessions of a Matchmaker. This is a post, a review by Tivo Brian. The straight-laced Republican committee guy this week reminded me too much of myself. Eek! The guy I think will never marry is the 38-year-old guy who only wanted to hang out with his buddies while they mingled with the 20 something girls that guy was pathetic he so blew off his date the host yeah was right to ditch him from her dating service end of review so they just talk about tv on there

yeah they talk about different shows um some people try to sell their tivo but a lot of it is discussion of shows of series of that's that's kind of technical issues with the tivo is very niche and i hate that they said eek though they definitely a lot of people said eek that seems to be a resounding thing i just don't get it is it definitely is and if you type in eek on this with two colons around it, it creates an emoji. What does it look like? Yep. That's exactly what I pictured. Eek!

Yep. Sounds about right. In case anyone wondering what I just did, I made the eek emoji. Yes. I made the face for eek. Yep. So now you know what I'm saying. Yep.

You can picture it. But yeah, I love that he said that, you know, I wasn't into it because the straight-laced republican guy was too much like myself you know that's just like too close hits too close to home like when i i assume the eek is like oh like is it like kind of like a i don't like that probably okay eek a little too close to home here for me to enjoy this week's episode yeah yeah um perfect so yeah i mean i didn't expect that source really specific but i'm glad i'm glad that that's what you found so glad you're glad so this is a review from tv writer.com this is a review by kate of the movie sully uh which stars monsters inc uh tom hanks right flying a plane and he's a pilot. And the Hudson River.

Whole thing. Whole thing. Oh, so. Warning. This review contains... Spoilers. Not sexy stuff. I know.

I know Tom Hanks. Eek! I know. We all thought maybe, but no. Spoilers. Sully tells the true story of the miracle on the Hudsonudson when pilot chesley sullenberger became a hero after he made an emergency landing of his limping jetliner on the river and saved everyone on board yeah well that is literally a spoiler of the entire movie the good the acting by tom

hanks and aaron eckhart as captain chesley sully sullenberger and his co-pilot jeff skiles kept me engaged and rooting for the characters their chemistry as friends and co-pilot Jeff Skiles kept me engaged and rooting for the characters. Their chemistry as friends and co-workers completely worked. The direction by Clint Eastwood made me feel as though I was a part of the flight and its aftermath. This fellow knows his stuff. I foresee a big future for Mr. E. The bad. Wait, excuse me. A big future for Clint Eastwood?

Calling him Mr. E? Like, is he new here? I think they mean as a director oh come on he was directing already wasn't he i don't know i just oh my god isn't he like 90 i don't think he has much of a future anymore i think that sounded this is not time for your review geez um yeah i think he's definitely okay this is okay people also ask exactly 90 years old people also ask is clint eastwood still alive and how much is he worth okay well pick one or the other jesus anyway so i foresee a big future for mr e yeah he's been directing movies since 1971 yeah oh my okay i hesitate to tell kate that uh

is sully behind was like the 20th freaking thing 30th he's directed 40 he has 43 director credits she only she called him this fellow and mr e okay well i'm sorry like this is if anything it's kind of adorable that they're like oh oh, look at this Mr. Eastwood fella. Like, I kind of like that. Look at this 90-year-old man who just stepped onto the scene. I like, I want to live in their world. Okay, the bad. The pace of the film was slow and the focus drifted all over the place.

The film kept backtracking from the investigation to the flight and then back again over and over, and at times it was way too confusing. Overall, I give this film three out of five stars interesting but unfocused maybe it reminded me too much of my own life and christina that is perfect what happened in your life that you were that you've crashed a plane on a river they did earlier say that they felt like they were in the plane oh they're confused they thought they weren't in the plane and they were sully jolted out into the investigation they're like oh okay that's why it was so confusing for them why is this so familiar to me and they get thrust right back into the experience of being on the plane yikes maybe it reminded me too much of my own life now i don't know i'm of any movie ever that existed ever to say it reminded me so much of my own life like this

and snakes on a plane or are the only two that come to top of my head of like things that probably never happened to you on or near an airplane yes um i doubt it i doubt it but you know maybe my i will say in case people notice this too my guess is that they said interesting but unfocused and then they were trying to say maybe it reminded me of my life i assume that's what they meant yeah where they were like the the way the film was structured felt like their life as in they just they really need to reword that i think because it really gives off the wrong impression. Listen, if they can prove me wrong, I'm happy to be proven wrong. True.

They're going to be like, actually, I was on the plane. I know I didn't mention that, but I'm a war hero and I saved a bunch of lives and I'm going to feel like a real asshole. So, Kate, if that's the truth, you probably should anyway. So I'm sure I do. So that is one where it's too similar to their own life. So this is a very deep review. This is just very deep is really the only word that comes to mind.

So it's a review on Reddit and it's in a subreddit, the subreddit R anime. And it's a post discussing the romantic drama anime five centimeters per second. What is okay? Is that like okay what it's a romantic drama anime if you expect me to give any more information that you know i can't and you're putting me on the spot i'm trying no no i'm trying to come up with what that title refers to what moves at five my initial thought was bamboo and then i'm like that is not the statistic a caterpillar caterpillar maybe five centimeters a second well in the photo they're staring at clouds but that doesn't seem like accurate math either does it you know what alexander i don't need to listen to this anymore i don't need to listen to this anymore. I don't need to listen to you anymore. I need to know what this is about.

Why? I don't know. You're about to know what it's about. Fine, fine, fine. Are there going to be spoilers? Are you serious? Yeah. You're not serious.

Yeah. What are you talking about? I might watch this. Okay. Okay. Just spoil. Just let people know if there's spoilers. I'll listen.

I don't know if there's spoilers, Alexander. i don't know what this movie is okay you know what fine just read it i just want to know what moves at five centimeters a second i guess i'll have to watch the movie or listen it's a train it's a train it might be a bad translation okay i don't know but it's about a train okay okay good to know thank you okay i'm happy now i'm not okay so i'm glad you are this is a review uh from amazon no it's not it's from reddit and it's of anime that's why i got confused uh okay five centimeters per second i both loved and disliked this film i'll be the first to admit that the visuals were amazing i mean absolutely breathtaking animation and imagery and the reason I felt

so uncomfortable after the film was over had nothing to do with any flaw in storytelling. It was just too similar to my own life. It was like my story was being told, and it made me really uncomfortable to watch it unfold. The passion of young love coupled instantaneously with the sadness of, this cannot last. The anguish of instantaneously with the sadness of this cannot last. The anguish of not being with the person you love because of distance. The despair of unrequited love after the one you long for has moved on. At five centimeters per second. That's me picturing the train really slowly.

I was going to say, I looked it up and apparently five centimeters a second is equal to 0.11 miles per hour it's a really slow train yeah oh okay sorry about that the despair of unrequited love after the one you long for has moved on the melancholy of existing half alive unable to climb out and up the ceaseless longing for that hole in your heart to be filled i suppose in the sense that it makes me examine my own life it's a great film but i didn't really want to have to do that i like watching anime to escape not to confront oh jesus i told you it was deep yes that's some heavy shit i i i suggest this is just my personal opinion i am a cho you should not watch this with francisca because it seems way too dramatic and

romantic and i i don't know i i feel like i also just spoiled the whole movie because all you have to know is that it's just like this user's life you know yeah the melancholy of existing half alive is pretty much the plot. I need to just reach out to them and be like, hey, tell me about your life. Just tell... And that's a movie. If I just send you a copy of this DVD and say, here it is. Yeah.

Wow. That got really dark really fast. Yeah, I want to see it. The visual's amazing. Beautiful storytelling. The melancholy of existing half alive. Oh, God. Okay.

There definitely were a couple that i found that said like i watch or read romance books to escape or to to have a distraction not to yeah be too close you know not to remind myself so there were definitely a few like that although most people preferred when movies reminded them of themselves because i imagine let's face it we're all a little bit narcissistic and self-centered i think what movie do you have a movie that reminds you of yourself uh yeah it's was had tom hanks in it i think it was called sully and i think jude law was the co-captain monsters it always makes me think of my life what about you um no well apparently q anon thinks monsters inc is about stop stop i'm serious how because because there's this whole theory listen you have to listen and that's why we drink q anon series to

find out everybody but i'll tell you spoilers so apparently because in monsters inc there's that whole notion of they have to collect fear from kids to power their world. And that's the belief is that liberal, the liberal agenda, the LA, the quadruple L, A, is to collect these adrenaline chemicals from babies to keep themselves young. Like that's what like Hillary Clinton, Chrissy Teigen, the Pope, they all like collect. They like torture children to collect their. Wait, the Pope is part of the liberal agenda? He's part of QAnon, yes. But he is QAnon? He's part of QAnon.

What do you mean part of it? Part of the QAnon movement. And Chrissy Teigen is, too? Yes. What do you mean? Not really. I mean, like, this is the. No, no, no, no, no.

I thought if you're part of q anon you you're like you're on the bad guys so you're saying chrissy teigen and hillary clinton sorry what i'm saying is that they're part i'm sorry i see what you're saying yes no sorry they are not in q anon as far as they don't follow the yeah that's what i was they are the enemies of q anon they're the perpetrators of the crimes that q anon is trying to call out that's what i meant i'm sorry yes so uh because i'm like wait the pope and chrissy teigen i'm sorry i'm sorry no that was a 180 no one of the beliefs is that yeah they are uh torturing babies i mean listen there's a lot of beliefs of q anon they vary quite wildly so I'm I'm not gonna try and pin everything it

took em three full episodes to talk about but anyway so Monsters Inc apparently has been ruined forever so so okay Monsters Inc is not about my life then I'm gonna I'm gonna refrain from saying that because I'm not gonna make people think I'm sending some sort of code okay you and the pope holy fuck um well the next one i was gonna say it was passion of the christ of passion what is it passion of the christ passion of the christ doesn't sound right when i say it doesn't sound right either i don't know we had to watch that in high school you did i didn't mr garley made us watch he made us watch 2001 a space od. Yeah, we watched that too. And 2010, The Year We Make Contact. Yeah, we watched a lot of movies over and over again. My God.

It's full of stars. Well, I mean, listen, I had to watch The Passion of the Christ, so don't rub it in. Anyway, Passion of the Christ is what I would say I relate the most to. Every time I see that too, I'm like, I like laugh a little bit because I think this is so familiar. Sorry. Okay. think this is so familiar sorry okay this is this is a review of a book this is my last one this is a review of a book called the amish marriage pact this also reminds me what happened in this episode where are what i don't even remember what the challenge is at this point hang on oh my god

okay sorry about that um the amish marriage pact amish romance amish misfits book eight kindle edition by samantha price apparently samantha price is is a best-selling author who has written 160 books in the amish series nice Nice. I know. I was actually like really impressed. Is this like for the Amish or is this like about Amish? You know, I'm not sure because it's sold on Amazon. Okay. So I would imagine if it's on a Kindle, it's

probably not marketed heavily toward the Amish population considering I don't really foresee a lot of them using tablets, but it's kind of like how how the other half lives but amish edition yeah i guess so right like like that firefighter book probably isn't marketed toward actual firefighters because i'd be like this is not what pyromania is blaze you don't remember oh that one oh yeah yeah sorry i did not think of that as quote a firefighter book i thought of that as

an erotic novel so well you probably wouldn't consider this an amish book either is it oh it's erotic okay great it's not erotic it's romance okay geez the amish marriage pact amish romance amish misfits book eight kindle edition by samantha price this is okay this is a redemption five star view by r absolutely brilliant i started to read this book to my peril at 10 p.m it is such a page turner and i say that quite often with this author but this most definitely is i could have thrown the book in anger at certain characters but i didn't wait isn't it a kindle hold on that just occurred to me i'm sorry please don't throw that whatever you're holding oh no sorry i could have thrown the book in anger at certain characters but i didn't too similar to my own life so i saw the

signs as i set a page turner and i finished reading at 3.49 a.m. I was so happy with the ending too and fingers crossed waiting patiently for the next in series. I pre-ordered and so worth the wait as all by this brilliant author. End of review. Nice. I know. I just love that one negative part was that it was too similar to their life that they wanted to throw their iPad across the room. I like that review a lot. Yeah, but it's a good thing. They did complain about it it but at the same time they were like but they respect it you know

love it like they got to me you know yeah yeah yeah it wasn't like how dare you get to me like that anime it's like how dare you be so similar to my life talk about the melancholy of existing half alive that's my territory i came here to i came here to escape i came to reddit to talk about my melancholic melancholic life um so anyway this is uh that's it but that samantha price has 160 books they're all very highly rated so if that's something you're interested in please go check it out but be aware if you're amish it'll hit really close to home it might make you violent so be careful um so that's all i got for you wonderful i think you did a great job i think hayley's gonna be very impressed and very pleased um hayley was on my stream and was

excited about it so so i'm sure i'll i'll get word this week when i stream and um i'll relay any complaints and let's call them criticisms okay please don't uh do you have a theme prepared i do actually great me me too i prepared a challenge i came up with it like five minutes ago in my head great while i was reading good to know no it was actually in between when you were trying to figure something out okay are we ready yeah something out okay are we ready yeah our theme is bagel shops in new york city oh that's gonna make me hungry that's gonna be one of the ones that make me really i had a bagel today i did too um but yeah i i think if you're listening you're like hey i suggested that i think we got a lot of suggestions i'm sure we got a million so shout out to all of you i'm sorry i actually didn't like

read this recently i just popped in my head but i'm sure to all of you i'm sorry i actually didn't like read this recently i just popped in my head but i'm sure a lot of you did recommend there probably are a lot um okay so that'll be good and terrible all at once this is a challenge from ashley you have to find a review where someone cites how long they've been doing something or going somewhere bonus points if it's a weird flex like crocheting for over 30 years which is one that uh actually actually sent as an example so okay yeah so that is your challenge that's so fantastic ashley you said ashley yes find the weirdest things that you can uh that's hilarious okay to brag people brag about i'm sure there's plenty oh yeah people like you like you said about

those the pieces of media or whatever people love to talk about themselves and have things for so i mean i've been reading amish erotica for probably almost 40 years now so let me write this down don't write that down next week all right well if you guys have any to add to the list send them in otherwise we will be scouring the internet and we'll come back at you next week. Sounds good. Yep. Talk to you later. Bye, everyone.