Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 126: Diners on Route 66

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach2 Sandy Water Tourette, a podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Alex. My name is Christine, and we are here with episode 126, which I'm very excited about. It's Diners on Route 66 is the theme today.

So it's diners on Route 66 is the theme today. Correct. And the challenge was for you to find reviews where the reviewer mentioned that they're related to the owner or a staff member. Or that they know them. Or that they know them. Sorry. I was like, uh-oh. No, no, no. I forgot how specific things got.

Yes, yes. So that was very easy. And so I have quite a few for that. And a lot of people wrote in with some diner reviews too so yeah it's gonna be fun but first i did want to say one quick thing um if you don't know i do have another podcast called human seeking human and i'm realizing now we never talked about that time that you were on it with me we never mentioned that on didn't i'm pretty sure we didn't that was on me i just i thought we did i don't think i did okay my bad uh not your bad i should probably promote my own show um but i wasn't too happy with where things were going so i decided to hold uh it was after i

was on it's like never mind this is a big mistake no weirdly i was like that's what kind of led to it i was like this is fun to have someone to bounce off of. The inspiration. You inspired me to get a co-host. So I literally accepted applications from my listeners. Instead of me. Instead of you. And I found one. So yeah, because you're not a listener. So. Right. So I found a new host. And yesterday's episode is without the host. But next episode is going to be with a new host. And it's going to be a new brand new show. And I'm like super excited for it. be with a new host and it's gonna be a new brand new show and i'm like super excited for a new era it's scary it's exciting but yeah went through a bunch of

applications and i found the one the one tmtm uh yes i'm very excited to hear how it goes it's gonna be a shift but um it'll be good definitely for the best yeah i think it'll be good um and if you ever need you know me to inspire you on anything else, you can contact my manager. Okay, will do. Because I was looking into a new co-host for this show, actually. Were you? Yeah. Yeah, you're going to have to jump through a lot of hoops.

But you can go ahead. Okay, okay. Try it. Okay, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see what happens. I'll do my best. Anyway, shall we? Should I get started with the thing?

So my first review is from an email. This is from Lupita, who says, Hello, Sibs. I hope I'm not too late sending these to y'all. We have a diner here in Albuquerque, New Mexico called 66 Diner, right along the historic route. It's a favorite spot of mine, but I've never looked at the reviews. By the way, Christina, I'm a huge Fall Out Boy fan,

even though maybe I should have outgrown it by now. I'm 36. mind but i've never looked at the reviews by the way christina i'm a huge fallout boy fan even though maybe i should have outgrown it by now i'm 36 thanks for not making me feel like such a weirdo yes well it is it should make you well it makes me feel like there's another weirdo just as weird as you it's not you know i'm not claiming to be normal or not weird but um i wore my fallout boy mask to remicade today nice i was like i don Boy mask? I didn't know you had one of those. Yes, Eva sent me one. I was about to say, I was thinking earlier, well, probably I won't bring up Remicade today. And within the first, you know, three minutes, here we are.

But yes, I wore my Fall Out Boy mask today. So thanks, Lupita. Yeah, Lupita. Basically, what she's telling you is that you're weird. Basically, what I'm telling you is I'm a bigger fan than you are. Where's your Fall boy mask um anyway here's a review by miranda of uh diner 66 in albuquerque new mexico two stars another ruined conversation good food too bad it comes at such a cost i get to see my friend once per week for a few hours our attempted deep and important conversation is interrupted every 10 minutes at every restaurant

we have tried it's unfor i can't because i am losing it i'm sorry i cannot believe this is real and it's funny i went through these reviews these are google reviews that lupita sent in i was going through these reviews and i never saw this one because i didn't go to the two-star ones so i'm so glad lupita sent this in because i missed it because i have other reviews from this place but not this one it's not even over yet i'm just it's unfortunate that we'd have to be rich and eat at true five-star restaurants in order for our conversation to be respected. In order to be ignored by the servers. What are you talking about?

Is that going to be picked up? It's really long. There's birds. Oh, that's just a speaker in the corner. Oh, is that just part of the ambiance of our show? It's the ambiance. Got it. Okay, cool.

Well, Junie needs entertainment, too. True. And he's looking out the window right now. And he hates our voices. At least it's a pretty sound instead of like LA traffic. Remember when it was children screaming? Oh, the children. That's true, actually.

And the helicopters. The children and the helicopters is what we're like. Very apocalyptic. Anyway. How hard would it be for the waiters to walk by slower or stand in one spot where they can see and watch for a hand to go up i guess my friend and i can't go out to eat anymore end of review and it even starts like you think it's gonna be so much more dramatic but you see your friend once a week for multiple hours it's not even like the once a year we get to go out to eat it's like literally every single week

you get this opportunity to go out why not have a deep conversation on the phone and then have like spend an hour going out to eat i don't understand i don't understand i don't think i've ever heard somebody complain that people were too attentive at a restaurant especially reading these diner reviews the number one complaint was how inattentive the staff is. Yes, exactly. 100%. You could probably go to like a two-star restaurant and have your important conversation. What could be so important, by the way, that every single week you have to have this conversation? I have no idea. I have no idea.

This person just seems like a lot. And you look at the diner photos. It is exactly what you think of when you think of like american diner so it's not a place that feels suited for a deep emotional or whatever it is conversation what you forget is that she's not wealthy you know what i did forget that yeah it's something you need to keep in mind i did forget that um every week she meets with her friend to discuss uh the failings of democracy and the economy and why she's not wealthy yet and uh why her mlm isn't picking up and um it's really actually very depressing okay it's pressing or depressing or both both okay really yeah you know

what i think you just summed it all up for us so thank you especially the whole mlm bit that was totally i'm trying to think of i don't even know what i'm trying to think of but can you imagine just summed it all up for us so thank you especially the whole mlm bit that was totally i'm trying to think of i don't even know what i'm trying to think of but can you imagine being the server and walking up and saying would you like a would you like some drink and then getting like daggers like not again yeah you're ruining our important i do not get it meal i can't really wrap my head around this to be what did they do during covid so what do they think a five star yeah that's true this was two years ago this they do during COVID? So what do they think a five-star... Yeah, that's true.

This was two years ago, this review. Oh, never mind. But what do you think they think a five-star restaurant is like? Not that I go to those, but I can't imagine it being inattentive... No, they stand in a corner and watch you behind a plant like she wants them to do. Exactly. It's like, oh, wait for me to raise my hand before you come in. Server should stay in one spot and watch me the whole time.

I have a feeling this person's never had a job working as a server. I haven't, and I know that this is ridiculous. She's had like 16 because she keeps getting fired because she stands in one spot and refuses to ask anyone if they need a refill. You got me there. Oh, boy. Anyway, that was probably the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Good start. So I have an email. Oh, P.S. Sarah was probably the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Good start.

So I have an email. Oh, P.S. Sarah is the one who suggested this theme. I forgot to throw it out to Sarah, who was on a trip to the Grand Canyon. Probably not anymore, but was when this email came out or when this email came in. So Sarah found a review of the diner where she and her family ate, and it's called Cruisers Route 66 Cafe. Cool cruisers? Cool Cruisers. Oh, no.

Can you imagine the combination? I unfortunately am imagining it, and it's the worst thing I've ever imagined. They have really deep conversations every time they go. Pulls a bar stool. Pulls a bar stool. Eek! Okay. And she also wrote, this one would have gone really well with a

challenge a few weeks back about including a weird flex in the review. Oh, I love that. Okay, good, because I think I could have done better, so thank you. No, no, you did great, but here's, um, just because I decided I need to insert myself into your challenge. Here we go. Okay, one star by Sam of Cool Cruisers Route

66 Cafe. Service was friendly, but slow have a bbq following of over 185 000 people in bbq and i know bbq well sorry um pulls up barstool i was i was really hoping you didn't wouldn't say thousand i said I was hoping you'd just say over 185 or whatever and then left it at that. I've been like, that would have been good. But wow, I mean, I'm a little impressed. It's true. Okay, fair.

Just saying. Fair. Just saying. I'm just picturing everyone pulls up Barstool and then everyone pulls out Barstool and leaves because this person just arrived at the bar to talk about his 185,000 people following. Anyway. I have a BBQ following of over 185,000 people in BBQ and I know my BBQ well. I had the sampler plate and not one thing I would ever order on its own again from this establishment. and not one thing I would ever order on its own again from this establishment.

The best thing I tasted was the BBQ sauce. I'm not a sauce guy, but it was needed in order to choke down the $22 buck plate. The beer was the only enjoyable part of the meal. The meatball soup came with a only half of a meatball and was bland and also a complimentary hair. Gross. The only thing worth coming back for is the beer. I hate having to review this so negative but it's an honest review and a review honest uh what was it in my honest and no in my humble

but honorable it was at least honest and honorable um extremely okay having a social media following even if it's about it means yeah what else why would you Yeah. What else did he say? Why would you just say I have a BBQ following in BBQ? That's not what they meant. I guess, but I guess I just didn't fully- Oh, did I not pick- No, you probably- I think I filled in the blanks in my head. I know you guys are hating this word right now, and I should have told you to take a

drink every time I said it. You can rewind a few minutes and try it, but have a bbq following of over 185 000 people in bbq and i know my bbq well so i don't know quite yeah i don't know quite either i mean i guess it means on like instagram or something i assume it's like a facebook page of like brett's bbq reviews or something i don't know um sam sizzling bbq but i i don't i feel like this doesn't necessarily translate to having meatball soup being some sort of expert on bbq but i'm also not an expert on bbq so what do i know well not much not much i also i don't know much either but i'm pretty sure meatball soup is not part of barbecue i mean bbq bbq but i could be wrong i could be totally wrong um you

probably are yeah yeah most likely okay um my next one is of that same place 66 diner from that lupita scent but these are these are my own what do you mean your own i came up i got these myself okay it sounds like you meant these are your i did not write these no i did not write these thoughts and feelings i knew that i just wanted you to but you know what lupita did not send them to me so nice try taking credit okay here is a one star review by lou pita sorry pita sorry the next one's by pita this one's by lou oh my god let me get to it okay this is a one-star review of 66 diner in albuquerque new mexico i don't know sorry this

is one of my least favorite reviews ever i don't't know why. This is, it's not even, maybe, okay, just gonna read it. Ordered the chicken fried steak. It was a large piece, I thought, until I cracked open the heavily burnt shell. The flavor of the steak itself would have been great if the steak had not also been burnt. The two servings of mashed potatoes looked amazing and even had great flavor. The only problem with those is they were pretty cold by the time it made it to me luckily i asked for a side of gravy which was plenty hot p.s if a family walks in not wearing coats don't stick them at the coldest table and then so that's kind of was that's like first bit is like the whole cold thing literally just say can we be moved like can we sit somewhere else i

i it just beyond me but that's not all because the owner responded um and then and said this hi lou we appreciate you bringing this to our attention we do wish you would have shared the issues with your server as we're always happy to fix these issues on the fly for our patrons we'll also make sure to address this issue with our kitchen staff so mistakes like these can be Lou did not like that response. Oh, come on. This is what Lou had to say. I did tell one person, the girl that took my payment, she offered to have something made for me or to remake it.

Really? If I wanted that, I would have asked the waiter. I was only able to eat three to four bites of the steak. What a waste of $13. If it, not quality, don't let it leave the kitchen. Much to be desired from 66 Diner. I'll find elsewhere to eat from now on when I'm in town. End of review.

When I'm in town. Yeah. Well, okay. They are saying, hey, if you had asked about like the cold, about the food you didn't like, just we would have done something. Yeah, but they did. Well, and then his response is, well, I didn't want to ask that or I didn't want to bring it up, but then I did bring it up to the wrong person later.'s like what do you want so like what do they want because i mean i

guess they just want a refund is my guess okay well that didn't make that clear no i uh i just wonder still i'm still kind of stuck on the coat thing because my thought is like do you think they like at the house stand they're like oh uh you know how they sometimes have somebody come up with menus and they're like oh take them to table six it's like okay like what are they what do you think they do like or are they wearing coats are they parkas or are they wearing coats and then they have a uh is it called bell graph of like how is it a down feather coat well maybe they should sit at 16 i mean what are you talking about it's literally like that's not their fucking problem no it is not at all you don't wear a coat in the cold weather what are you doing something remember we sat somewhere we were at simsies and

we were cold and we at we told them about it and they moved us we spent 15 minutes being like oh my gosh i don't want to be rude yes but we were for i mean we were underneath an ac vent it was freezing in there. But we weren't like, how dare they sit us there? No. And if they were like, we don't have a table, we would have been like, okay, we'll just order more beer. Exactly. And we would not have gone to leave a one-star review.

Like, holy shit. I don't know. I don't get it. I, this, the business seems like they're trying to do what they can. And all this person wants is to complain and leave a one-star review. It just made me, I don't know. It just made me really, really not happy. Well, I'm glad because this one's going to keep you there.

So this is a review of a place called Kikson 66. And it's a one-star review by Bill. Why won't you say where it is? Do you not know how to pronounce it? I have no idea where it is. I didn't write down where it was. I just looked at a list of the top diners on Route 66. It's in Tucumcari.

It's in what? Tucumcari, New Mexico. Oh, okay. Cool. I looked up how to say it, and that's what it said. Oh, I have that later in my... I'm glad you said that because I thought it was Tucumcari. I'm pretty sure it's Tucumcari based on what I saw.

Okay. I'm just... Okay. You know what? If we're wrong, then it'll give us more engagement on social media that's what we want okay this is a review by bill one star it's really depressing when you have been driving for days and all you want to do is sit down in a restaurant to eat but you can't because too many people believe in this stupid pandemic what what does so you because you have a mask policy or something

they're closed because corona this was sometime in 2020 jesus they were like doing takeout stop swearing so much why because you're making me anxious okay i don't know i'm nervous i feel like oh this just made me mad hearing the phrase plandemic. Plandemic is not good. No, that's such a ridiculous thing. I know somebody who messaged that recently. It was someone we know. Well, okay. What? Okay, we're going to have to talk about this.

Excuse me. But it was someone, the listeners don't know this person, but we do. And they thought it would be nice to DM the Facebook, and that's why we're doing Facebook page. It just said plandemic. We like what okay we never like checked that inbox on facebook so we were like oh okay um well that's a hoot and a half i hoot and a half hoot and a half i like how i say stop swearing and you're like okay i'll go the opposite i'm trying i'm sorry i shouldn't boss you around i'm sorry you're feeling anxious it's

important no it's not it's really not it's just me fuck your anxiety okay that was too far um can you just please find a fucking middle road here here i know i know a road called route 66 how about that and on that road route route route 66 is i think i say route but then when i say route or when i say route 66 i say route but normally i'd say route oh i say route because earlier i said route and then when i said the full thing i said route 66 or in route i do say in route on route i say on i say on on we yeah i say on what on passant what it's a chess term sorry ampersand uh just google it okay holy hell plandemic anyway plandemic it's depressing for bill that's all you need to know so he's depressed now because he's in the car and he just wants to

eat he has to eat sitting down inside a restaurant i did see a lot of these reviews which was weirdly like positive nice to see a lot of the reviews were complaining about mask usage or lack thereof um saying about how many anti-maskers there were going to these places and that they didn't require masks and um it was kind of reassuring that people were reviewing based on that because it's very based on safety but then yeah sprinkled in there you'll get a couple people who are way the opposite and are like how dare you discriminate against me and my disabilities i'm not able to wear a mask and it's like you get those kinds of reviews too anyway let's move on okay you started this for the record okay 66 diner this is by by pita uh pita i was like what was it again pita one star review by pita i'm positive no amount of nostalgia can justify the prices here it's a diner eight dollar appetizers no friggin way staff is slow unhelpful

and not well presented with hickeys showing that actually sounds pretty 60s on brands of me okay i love how that's there like you have a hickey like what who i don't know i've personally i have never in my life noticed someone's hickey i don't think i really have either quite frankly unless it was like a friend of mine and i was like what the hell okay i was like sitting down with them and talking to them but not like i don't run in those circles so i know i don't yeah this was back in the 60s i'm talking sorry sorry to be clear of course that makes more sense um that just seems like such a weird thing to me like they had so many hickeys these servers such a bizarre

and also it was probably one person with one hickey not like everybody's running unless this is really like a sex haven or sex den it might be i don't know um and this person had to watch them all get the hickeys too they saw from the beginning the hickeys were just like increasing they were like exponentially increasing by number it's better it's better than like oh they had dirty fingernails or like they had a cut on their hand i mean yeah i agree pink eye i mean it's like what they do in their own time like a hygiene problem exactly there's so many complaints that i was like yeah that's pretty gross that they do that with yes you know but same

thing with like tattoos and piercings like if if it doesn't affect you, just keep your mouth shut. Anyway. Tortillas are served almost cold and pepper is the spice of choice. Overwhelming any other spice they might have used. Grandson wouldn't eat the chicken strips. A taste told me it may have been the slight fish stick flavor they carried. Chicken in the enchiladas was bland. Once you got beyond the black pepper crust route 66 robbers should be the name of this diner that was clever i thought so too that was really

i miss the days when we would have reviews without reviews like that yeah like more like stank of america prank of america i miss my game show days when i was the host of a game show that was like if i were to win an award for podcast editing it would be for that that episode you had people start booing like in the middle i like i feel like when i think of the effort I put into Beach Too Sandy I'm like will I get back to those days you were like oh cool cruisers will put pirate music under I was like so and I still sometimes do but that episode that game show you put applause you put all sorts of stuff it took so much effort but I feel like but I haven't been inspired since like it was very much a moment of inspiration maybe I should be steve harvey more often maybe christina maybe um i remember that and i remember um putting it in the 100th episode so if you guys were like what the hell are you talking about find it there

uh wow well it was banks in like charlotte or something that's right yes it was banks but i also put it in the 100th episode but But what were we saying? I don't know. Probably your turn. Okay. This is an email from Taryn who says, I went to college in Flagstaff. And since it's on Route 66, checked out the reviews at the diner my roommate used to work at. Now, I didn't realize in the email there was a photo included. And there was also a link to the Yelp page. So I didn't look at the photo. And I saw this phrase that Taryn included included that says this person's being a little

hyperbolic basically and i was like oh i bet if i scroll through the yelp like maybe i'll find the review they're talking about that she's talking about and then uh i found it and i was like oh why did i ever doubt that i would find the most hyperbolic review on yelp um and i found it and then i went back to the email and realized like she'd literally put a photo like a screenshot of the review so i was gonna say it sent you on a little bit of a journey but i thought it was um and then you put yourself on said i fully put myself on the journey and then taryn was like i told you literally from the beginning but okay nice job um so this is a one-star review by. Literally the worst food I've ever ingested. I can't believe I wasted half an hour on the toilet getting this out of my system.

Lettuce on burger was bruised and old and dripping with grease. Our burgers were like the black rotten barking patty from Spongebob. They included a photo of the patty in case you were like, which patty? Which one, the Spongebob patty? Yep. Oh, I love that. Okay. Like a screen grab from a sponge, which I was like, that's quite a thing to go out of

your way to find, but thanks. The mac and cheese was like taking a bite out of my tires after running them through a 36 hour tour in Africa. Not to mention that the whole meal for three people was $70. I regret not staying home and filling my gut with two whole bags of pizza rolls. I almost forgot about the gelatin onion rings and the dirty mushroom in my lemonade.

Okay. But my thought is, if there was a mushroom in your lemonade, like, you can't tell me you didn't take a photo of that, but then you went and found the SpongeBob screen grab to, like, make your point how does what are you talking about i'm picturing the server coming over accidentally a mushroom falls off the plate and and the server's like oh i'm so sorry let me go get that replaced for you like that's what i'm picturing if anything if anything like

i don't think the server's walking around with a mushroom and a lemonade putting it like here's your lemonade nothing wrong with it you know what i mean like inside the cup i know they're busy so like maybe it could slip by but like that's like a weird thing to happen maybe it's like the vegetarian the vegan version of like when they put scorpions inside a tequila bottle it's like the mushroom inside the lemonade is sort of like a seal of authenticity. Hey, look, I love mushrooms and I love lemonade. So I'd try it because, hey, I don't like scorpions. But see, I think... So why would I try that? But I love mushrooms and lemonade.

So maybe together they'd make a wonderful pair. Well, I think that the reason like Anonymous knew that somebody would have this thought. So they prepared by saying it was a dirty mushroom. Oh, true. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're you misled me there like by continuing to talk about it because i was like all on board and then i remembered let me remind you it was dirty all along which is really amusing to me which means i pulled it out and inspected it for cleanliness which is like you'd think you wouldn't really take the time once there was already a mushroom

in your lemonade you pull it out and you're like you know what for a fungus this is pretty dirty for a fungus that grows in soil i don't know if i want this in my lemonade mom just told me that she got mushrooms i don't know she spores or something and she's like yeah i'm gonna walk around like the yard and like put put it on trees stop it so that she can grow mushrooms for us to eat are we allowed to put them on those trees like are they good for those trees maybe she should google to make sure they're the right trees i don't know but if if a tree falls on if it kills a tree and the tree falls on my room and kills me i what a way to go oh my goodness most vegan way to go, getting killed by a mushroom. By a mushroom. So, hey. Oh my god, okay. Died how I lived.

Full of fungus, yes. Where were we? Yes. Okay. Dirty fungi. I almost forgot about the gelatin onion rings and the dirty mushroom in my lemonade. All the food was served on a sheet of paper. What?

That's why Taryn was like, well, she didn't say this say this but was like go find the most hyper that was literally like there is so much in here that's clearly hyperbole and then stuff like that that's like okay like they're being it's like so unnecessary like the other stuff is like actually for effect but this is like what's like they put a burger on top of a fax piece of fax paper and like carried it what are you talking about about? Are they saying there's a tray with a paper similar to a fast food place? I mean, it's a fucking diner. Maybe because let me finish. Okay.

All the food was served on a sheet of paper on top of a hubcap ripped from a 98 Civic. Which sounds kind of cool to me. I mean, okay, yeah. I'm like, that's classic diner. Eat it out of a literal hubcap. True. You lost me a piece of paper, but you got me right back with that hubcap. This person lost me the toilet for the first sentence.

Oh, that's true. I don't know if I really want to read the rest of this, but here we are. The seats were literally made of recycled wood from the lumber mill down the street. So, I mean. Wait, is that bad? Yeah. That seems cool. I guess it's like upcycled.

It feels like very Magnolia, like very Target. What the fuck is Magnolia? Oh, come on, Alexander. A Target brand, I assume? No. The way you just said Target. Chip and Joanna Gaines? Never mind.

This is showing my HGTV side a little too. My cricket side. Oh, my God. Okay. My cricket machine side. I have no idea what's going on right now seriously no i've just need that chip and who you don't know who chip and joanna i mean i'm really serious right now you know no i don't oh they're like hgtv stars who have this show and

they became really popular and um they do all these home renovations for people oh wait are they okay they're in georgia what's their show no they're in texas i'm sorry in waco it's pronounced wacko so that's another office reference okay and they have their own tv channel yeah fix her up okay yeah i know them i just didn't know their names sorry i probably should have i'm not like a fan yeah they live in waco it's a whole thing it's very it's a whole thing that they live in waco it's a whole thing but they uh their whole you know it's very kind of like farmhouse chic you know yeah like um things that look like a little rustic well would you say they act as like part-time counselors to clients who can't see a structured beauty beyond the blemishes actually i wouldn't really say oh you wouldn't no i mean nice try nice guess okay do you want

should i guess again yeah maybe um okay do you want should i guess again yeah maybe um combined do you think that chip and joanna save homes that look hopeless renovating the imperfect and revealing them as what they were always intended to be seems like a lot of words yeah i didn't totally follow but um let's go with a maybe okay maybe yeah okay but i'm glad that you really brainstormed that yeah yeah i don't know it's pretty well written thank you i mean well improvised uh okay so oh no i wrote it down as i was reading to you yeah you put it on because i i needed to you know put that out there to the world and so i published it on my put it on twitter twitter yes okay uh so anyway the the

seeds were made out of recycled wood from the lumber mill down the street, which sounds pretty cool to me, but whatever. The service here was dreadful, and I was treated like a prisoner being served underfunded cafeteria food. End of review. That's the end. Jesus. Of that paragraph. That is not the... Oh, of that paragraph.

I'm sorry. Oh my god. What if I did that every time? I was like, that's the end of the sentence now be quiet let me finish talking no no that's the end of the whole review aka one giant paragraph of hyperbole i really dislike like they were not the only one that compared eating at these diners to like prison food or prison experience and it's like really not cool man no oh wow your mashed potatoes were served in a metal bowl and you're gonna like cry foul like it was bizarre like the things

one star review about how everything tasted good but they were disgusted that it was served in like a plain metal bowl then why would you even eat it if you're so disgusted well that's the thing they skipped their ice cream though that's the thing. They skipped their ice cream, though. Oh, come on. That's the thing. It's like we skipped the ice cream, which means that they didn't skip the potatoes. So they ate the potatoes and were like, man, it's so disgusting what they were just served in. This is so gross. But yeah, so no ice cream for us. Where do they think food comes from? Like, if you go to Panera, where do you think that mac and cheese comes from?

Don't look at me like I know the answer. I don't know. Are you asking me? I'm just saying i know i could tell it's hypothetical but i was like i feel pressured to answer for some reason you really intently but remember that girl who got fired uh from panera for posting on twitter or not on twitter on tiktok saying how the mac and cheese is served and he comes in these like packets like this one serving pack or i don't know if they're not one serving, but you like heat them up and basically like squeeze them into a bowl

and people freaked out. And it's kind of like, well, what do you expect? They're not back there with like, she's like grating cheddar into the bowl. It's a little bit, I mean, obviously it's a little disillusionment, you know, but also like, can you really be that shocked it's a diner and that's the thing is like you get the people who are like it's a diner why is it so expensive but then you get the people who are like it's a diner why are why am i not getting the best food ever why do i feel like a prisoner yeah i don't get it um just so you know i am tweeting those words

yeah without contact because we're recording this two days early. That's very funny. If you feel like going to my Twitter two days ago. And see, don't respond to anybody who goes like, what is this about? People are going to be like, what's this about? They're going to be like, was this a mistake? Should I just retweet it?

Yeah, we'll retweet on Beach2Sandy too. Okay. This is so stupid. Anyway, so yeah, check that out. Check out our socials. Check out our socials at Zandy Schieffer, at Xteen Schieffer, at Beach2Sandy. For all the latest hard-hitting news you can muster. Okay, anyway.

But really quick, I was going to do this earlier, but I'm giving a shout out to a certain website, dqtravel.net, because that's where I found all my diners. Because I went through their list of best Route 66 diners and restaurants. First of all, you said route. Second of all, I thought you were going to say shout out to magnolia.com, who gave me the words I just tweeted. But okay, never mind oh no i just found that on google it probably pulled it from somewhere and joanna games google chip and joanna games it's right from their memoir it was probably like an imdb thing it doesn't matter yeah it's gonna i'm gonna be like one of those t-shirt companies that has like those pulls around

things from the internet for their t-shirt and then the holocaust is like wait what exile wait what does your holocaust have to do with this shirt says like you think i'm grumpy now wait till i've skipped my morning coffee with a picture of an owl like what does it have to do wow you're you have a vision that's our new merch idea call call of d of tba um okay to be fair we've told them stupider shit to make into merch so they would they would do it they would do it with with a smile and really well that's the other thing which is like how can they make undeserved your vision so beautiful my trash vision that means nothing and it's just like I close my eyes and that's my vision. Wow, took the words right out of my mouth. Trash vision.

Okay. Anyway, speaking of trash, here's a review of the Big Texan Steak Ranch and Brewery. You can't say that word ever. Brewery. I know. I don't know how to do it. I just listened to one where you said that, but like we both just ignored that. I am such one word I cannot do. I can both just ignored that E is strong. I am sad.

It's one word I cannot do. Brewery. I can't do R as well. It's a hard word. Brewery. Like Alexander to me, like saying my known name, full name. This is weird. Schieffer.

I don't like it. I can't do R. Anyway, let me read this for people. Yeah, we know. We listen to you talk all day long. One star by the rural juror. Oh, this is in Amarillo, Texasas an abomination of real texas steakhouses beers are okay but the steak was stale and the waffle fries were dead long before i entered the premises

i get the feeling that this is more of an experience or tourist trap rather than a decent restaurant the gal who served me tried to be accommodating oh she tried but when you take the bite of a bad steak and feel nothing but despair there's not much you can do i got 30 off the future contents of a trash can yay end of review oh my oh my god first of all that was so disparaging uh speaking of despair and second of all why are these people all so depressed like you're on a road trip or you're i don't know if you're on a road trip but typically it seems like people are in texas for the first time and maybe maybe i don't know that but yeah i what do you i mean that's how i felt last time i drove through texas well maybe i shouldn't

have even gone there good point um no i've had some wonderful times in texas i'm just kidding but um yeah i don't know i there it is something about these diner reviews that people were just so down about them like and i think part of it at least for some reviewers was like for them diners is like 50 60 like they're probably older people who like grew up like as a kid going to these types of diners and now that they're older they're going back and it's like lost the charm to them because maybe now they're older but like i'm sure kids nowadays going to these diners would be like whoa cool i was a kid who went to red robin and was like this is so amazing and so it's a milkshake and a burger and a milkshake

oh my god that's all they serve inside a tire factory or whatever we love golden corral so exactly yeah we had very low standards maybe our standards aren't very high but i mean but obviously a place what is it called like route 66 long i This one was long. This one was the Big Texan Steak Ranch and Brewery. You just wanted me to say brewery again. No, I literally forgot. You monster. I thought it was because so many of them are called like 66 something. And when people say like, I bet this is just a tourist trap.

It's like, duh. What do you think? Of course it is. People are driving along Route 66. They want to stop at a deck, get the experience, take photos, you know. Yeah. And that's what people said in the reviews. They're like, just go for the photo and leave.

It's not worth – like, but I don't know. What do you expect? It's either that or Wendy's or something. Like, what's the big deal? Exactly. You're not like in Milan at the fashion show or whatever happens there. I regret saying that. That was a sentence.

I'm sorry. That was a sentence. I regret saying that so hard. Actually, my face is so red right now oh my god i'm sorry i'm i'm not culture i i like golden crowd can we just leave it at that i would love to oh my god how embarrassing okay this is an email from hannah of the denny's in okay speaking of low standards i mean to be fair if it is on route 66 then it is in fact a diner on it is 66 i and it probably has some pretty intense competition around it so if you're going to a denny's on route 66 that's your own problem right that's your own fault just saying yeah i guess i mean like if you're going to denny's being like this isn't the coolest place i've ever been to it's like well i haven't heard the review yet so

i don't remember what they are so i don't even know what i'm criticizing here i'm like yeah because like if if they say that yes you're right that's ridiculous but if if they got like i don't remember what they are, so I don't even know what I'm criticizing here. I'm like, yeah, because if they say that, yes, you're right. That's ridiculous. But if they got like, I don't know, if an employee like hurt them and stabbed them, then I'd be like, you know, believe it or not, I don't think they deserve that. Oh, Shay, you're right. This person got stabbed three times by the server. Yeah.

Normally, I'd find that hilarious, but you just kind of ruined the humor in it. Yeah. It would have been funny if they like poisoned them with a dirty mushroom but uh okay so this is a one-star oh it's in uh now you've to come carry is that he said it i don't remember to come carry yeah okay to come carry uh to come carry new mexico this is a one-star view by glenn this is the worst experience i ever had with any restaurant especially one day before veterans day especially 16 days before memorial day i love that i love that this person is like my day's coming up i'm gonna milk it every day of like two days before three days i'm just gonna

say like it's it's my weekend it's most it's like seventh graders or third i don't know what age or me at any any given year this is my birthday month and people usually grow out of that i think but i don't so i was gonna say i'm saying third graders and also me it's like i would be like it's my birthday next week you cannot talk to me like that there's a veteran's day this year and this is three months after veteran's day so i don't think you have the right to talk to me this way this is the worst experience i ever had with any restaurant especially one day before veteran's day veterans 31 years and running cronus supplies what veterans 31 i need some explanation here cr Cronus supplies? Do you have a guess as to what that could possibly mean? Cronus supplies?

Yeah. No, it means nothing to me. Does it mean everything to you? First of all, it means nothing to anyone because it is nothing, but it's supposed to mean coronavirus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I only know that because it's brought up again later. Okay.

I need you to reread it. You can reread it the same wrong way, but at least this time I can put coronavirus in that because it's brought up again later okay i need you to re-read it you can re-read it like the same wrong way but at least this time i can put coronavirus in in my head this is the worst experience i ever had with any restaurant especially one day before veterans day veterans 31 years and running kronos supplies for the usa okay it still doesn't make any sense to me i tried disrespect to the military and disrespect as a human being. This day should be shut down and restaffed. I think that was a Freudian slip and he meant to say this place should be run down.

The day before Veterans Day needs to be shut down. So we can get to Veterans Day quicker? I had a bad experience on this particular day, so we should cancel it from all future calendars. Could you imagine if it turns out that this person is the person that speaks for all veterans? And they're like, this is our spokesperson, Glenn. Do you know about Veterans Affairs? Yeah, no, it's just Glenn.

He doesn't know what coronavirus is, but we gave him the mic anyway for some reason disrespect to the military and disrespect is a human being this day should be shut down and restaffed the greeting was can i help you i'm here to eat and then she walks away and i'm just standing there why she is doing something but she is not even serving table she disappeared so i went in and i got a cup of coffee and i will never come back to this place again now i'm going to inform the senate maybe he is the spokesperson oh my god yeah this is a big deal now now i'm going to inform the senate that i'm turning my chronus virus

supplies around back to port end of review christina i am so alarmed by this i think it's definitely also the photos of a it's a real account a photo of a man in a um some sort of uniform okay so he it seems to be a legitimate not a case of stolen valor that's always good yeah um can you imagine stolen valor on yelp that would be the most i mean that would be the next oscar sensation at a denny's like like because of it because of a denny's experience it comes out 66 they couldn't even find another diner it had to be a denny's oh my god what a wild review i'm like imagine being a senator and getting a call like this is glenn i went to a denny's i'm not delivering your your masks that you asked for i'm turning around and like my big boat around i still don't even know what happened what went

wrong like they got their coffee like the problem was that they went in and the person said can i help you and then i said he said i'm here to eat and then they disappeared and then they but they still sat down got coffee so what i think he was mad that they said can i help you instead of like thank you for your service you're a veteran that's the day before veterans day i don't know that's yeah i mean my guess is because calling it disrespect to the military just because of it being the day because you're a veteran and because it's the day before veterans day all right everyone shut it down glenn had a bad experience at denny's we're all screwed coronavirus is going to rage again because we're turning our ships around

back to port that was also back to port okay uh trying to maybe that's their attempt to being like hello i am a navy man don't forget also who let this person uh transport transport Kronos virus supplies and Kronos spelled two different ways Kronos virus supplies if he literally doesn't even understand what it is I mean the senate allowed it

the senate okayed it and I shouldn't question that be careful they might shut this whole day down and restaff us. Oh, no. Just be careful. How many days is it before Veterans Day? There's another one canceled off the books.

Okay. It's happy Glenn Day, everyone. It's not Veterans Day. It's Glenn Day. everyone it's not veterans day um here is a review i have of goldie's route 66 diner in williams arizona uh this is by lewis one star review service was slow my fried chicken was cold and had ice in it not sure how that was even possible. Cold hash browns. Overall, not a good experience. End of review.

Ew. It had ice in it. Ew. I don't know what that means. Also, I mean, I know how it's possible. It was frozen. I don't know how mushroom in your lemonade is possible, but I do know how ice in your food is possible.

Ice in the chicken. Freezer burnt. I hear that and I'm like, hmm. I'm picturing ice cubes. They're cutting it open and it's like, an ice cube plopped out they just uh oh i was picturing crushed ice like you hear a little crunching like it's sonic or something yeah yeah yeah just like filled it up like stuffed chicken breast but it's with ice disgusting ice cubes something about that is really repulsive um it's the chicken isn't it it's probably the chicken with ice in it is probably

what it is um at that point i wouldn't even complain about the hash browns i'd be like yeah that's why i was like do i even read the rest of you i'm like yeah because it's kind of wild that they like put that in the same line as cold hash browns yeah it's like when you read those reviews where it says someone punched me in the jaw also the soda was flat it's like wait wait yeah priorities it's like go back go back a little bit tell us a little more of the story because like in this case i'm like what did you do what did you do like return it did you just tell them like or do you just eat your hash browns and complain that they're cold i don't know what did what what did lewis do without a coat. So the staff should have known not to serve ice cubes.

True, true, true. I was just thinking when you said that, because you said Lewis, I was thinking, I feel like we always do L names for some reason. And literally the next one I have here is Louise. I just do it based on my mood today. But usually it's like the first letter of their last name. And then I come up with the first name that pops in my head. See, that's smart. I mean, if you go back and listen, there's probably a lot of...

It's like Bill, Tom, Lou, Louise. Okay. This is this email from Hannah of the Denny's or about the Denny's. One star by Louise. The service is unbelievably rude. I am in awe of the treatment i received at dinner last night the girls need to be replaced stat well first of all i think glenn already had that yeah and don't even worry glenn's on it the girls need to be replaced stat i would comment on the food but i literally took four bites and left super lucky i don't contact my attorney for the loud public rudeness

of the wait staff no joke i am not exaggerating oh my god skip this place exaggerating is spelled e-x-a-d-u-r-a-d-i-n-g oh my god that's not even close it's not even close. It's not even close. Also... No wonder autocorrect didn't fix that. No. Autocorrect was like, well, this person has an attorney. I'm sure they know what they're trying to say. Never mind. Exaggerating. Can you imagine being this person's attorney, though, and getting a call like...

Or like probably ignoring their calls and seeing another voicemail. Like, I was at a diner... Oh, my God. Not again, Louise. You really need to find bigger problems i have i have another thing for our case against the denny's on route 66 how many times have i told you stop going to denny's you never have a good experience going to the lawyer's office like pull out the denny's files how big is it now it's like this giant stack of complaints not to bring up another sitcom but it's like in Parks and Rec when Tom writes down everything Leslie says, but really he's just like

scribbling or drawing and then he like puts scribbles and throws it away. She's like, oh, he's been taking notes out for years on all of my like really brilliant quotes and inspiration. I feel like that's like the Denny's file is just a bunch of doodles that the attorney's getting paid for, but really isn't actually doing anything about. We're getting really close on the Denny's case, Louise. Oh my God. Maybe we need to get some more evidence for us. I cannot believe that someone's first thought is,

the staff is not acting how I want them to. Let me call my lawyer. Like, what? Why am I trying to make sense of something? I don't know, but I'm also watching SVU, and I'm just thinking like, oh my God, Stabler and Benson wouldn't stand for this. Like public rudeness.

Are you kidding me? It's bigger problems in this world. Exactly. Yeah. All right. I've got another one from Goldie's Route 66 Diner, Williams, Arizona. I swear to God, this is another L last name. So I'm going to not do an L name.

Lou Riesland. It's going to be William. This is a one-star review by well thank you i'm like serious too i don't think i've ever made up a william no that's a good one thank you i know one-star review by william pros comfortable seats cool 50s theme. Cons? Nearly everything else. Rude would be one way to describe our waitress. The other can't be published. Burnt fries? Cremated fried chicken? Tasteless roast beef? If you were thinking that they could at least make a decent burger, you would be mistaken. Save your money and eat elsewhere. As mentioned before, if they relied on repeat business, they would go broke.

As for the people who gave five stars, you must either work there or be mistaking it for another diner. End of review. They cremate, I can't get over the cremated fried chicken or whatever. You know, it's like a brand new sentence, like a brand new phrase. I've never, ever in reading any food

related reviews, we've read a lot of them, never seen someone relate something to cremation. To cremated ashes. Oh my God, that is something. To the ashes of a beloved pet or family member that you keep above the fireplace. Potentially a pet chicken. Potentially a pet chicken. Yeah, so maybe that really hit close to home. I don't think you should eat that.

No. Also, I don't know if this person knows what cremated remains look like they looked up synonyms for burnt oh yeah right like i bet you that's in the thesaurus uh that's a good point that's good that's a very good point which i'm happy for them if they haven't had any experience with cremation that's probably a good thing yeah and haven't had any experience with cremation, that's probably a good thing. If this is their only experience with cremation. And weirdly, this brought me joy, this review. Like seeing that, because I'm like, this is a fresh take.

It's wrong. All right. It's wrong and it's bad. Speaking of a fresh take. But it brought joy. Hot take, everyone. Alex, cremation brings him. Sorry.

Very cremated take. Cremation brings Alexina joy. Front page news. TMZ. It's a new headline. What a freak. What a freak. Yeah, I've been

called that before. So. Oh my goodness. Okay. I only have redemptions left. Nice. Actually, it's just

one redemption. And this was from an email from Mary who wrote in 2019. So who knows if they still listen. But this is a five-star review of Route 66 Classic Grill by Evan. Now, this is a review that's been updated.

There's three reviews and two of them were updated. So this first, the original review is from December of 2017. Really like the place. Food is always good. Staff has always been great, even when they are super busy. The cream corn is over the top. One person found this review cool. So I like that they started off with a good review.

So because a lot of people are like, I go here all the time. This was my first bad experience. And they live with one star review review and it's like yep um well it this is kind of the exact opposite because here's another uh five-star view this has been updated so original was december of 2017 this one is april of 2018 so four months later oh my god the cream corn is over the top again but i love that it wasn't even copy pasted he's just like have i told you this yet four months later like cream corn still good give it still give it a thumbs up over the top oh my god over at the top i feel like i've only heard as it used negatively

but i think in this case they mean it positively I don't think they're using it totally correctly. Yeah, okay. Not that I'm the one to listen to about idiom usage, but over the top usually means like this person on some reality show. I'm watching some really trashy reality show. Me too. I've been watching a lot recently. What have you been watching? It's called Yummy Mummies.

It's based in Australia. That is right up my alley okay it is a friend of mine showed me recently a shout out to chelsea and erica and it is honestly on center it's probably the wildest like you know how australia i don't know if you know much about australian tv but what i've learned from netflix is that australian reality tv it's sort of like there are no rules okay it's almost like a um like a lawless land of reality television where you're like wow this seems like so quote unquote over the top yeah that probably wouldn't even be allowed in the united states i'm so excited for this they have some bananas reality tv over there and they don't really it's like no holds barred so you should watch yummy mummies okay i will the shit ever uh yeah i just told my friends i said can we add yummy mummies

to the watch list because we've been watching uh love island uk ah yeah which is fantastic um the new season of the circle i was about to watch that too we started big brother have you seen the original big brother like season one no but but Blaze's brother's really into it. Oh my God, it was the most boring fucking thing I've ever watched in my life. But I think we're watching it wrong. We watched every single episode and it'll have a full day and it's like, wait, nothing happened. And then we'll watch another episode and it's like a recap of everything we just watched. So we're just like, we don't know how to watch Big Brother.

But anyway, I'm sorry. Someone will tell you now, I'm sure. Yummy Mummies. I can't wait for that. yummy mummies is so bananas so anyway that's what i was thinking when i heard over the top i'm like okay the baby shower that was versace themed and her house is also in her bathroom are all versace themed yeah that's probably over the top is what i'm trying to get it that's that okay that was a yeah we took i'm the one who kind of forced it but i see what you're saying like that's considered over the top we We went off Route 66, over the Grand Canyon cliff, crashed to the bottom, now trying to

climb on my way back out. We got to the point, though. We got to a point. It's like Selling Sunset. That's the show. Have you seen that one? I can't watch it. It depresses me.

It is terrible. But Young and Young is the same way. I watched four episodes, and I went, and this is the saddest thing ever. I texted Chelsea, thinking I said, oh said oh yeah it got a little depressing so i had to watch some svu before bed and i was like what did i just say wait what did i just say that's so messed up but they like bummed me out because it was kind of like oh these women are so nasty sometimes like and just like so superficial anyway so speaking the speaking of which creamed corn that explanation was over the top that see we had a point that was we were doing that on purpose

okay say i say for my smoking car at the bottom of the grand canyon okay so cremated car but yes the cremated corn is over the now that would be over the top oh yes if they had cremated car but yes cremated the cremated corn is over now that would be over the top oh yes if they had cremated it a little bit over the top um okay so this is the updated one from april oh my god the cream corn is over the top really enjoy coming here great prices staff is friendly plus they have events like bike nights and car shows that look like a lot of fun so that's the end of the updated review. But I want to say that they mentioned they look like fun. They didn't even go, but they have a positive view of them already.

What a way to live your life. I love that. It makes me happy. Yeah, just assuming it's a fun experience, even if you haven't experienced it yet. Now, this is another updated review, and this is about three and a half, four months later. Five stars. Oh, my God. The cream corn is over the top.

Oh, this is. And everyone's written differently. So it's like he didn't just copy paste it. He rewrote it, but in a different kind of. Yeah. Cadence. That's just amazing that. It's that good.

He's actually like continuing to review because, yeah, you see something from five years ago and you're like how good can it still be but hey wow actually updating but it's every three months it's not quite five years but yeah you know still they better never mess up that cream corn because i think talk about a crash landing that would send him probably to the recesses of bill's depression. And the Grand Canyon. Okay, sorry. Let me finish the updated review. This is the final update. Okay. Oh my god, the cream corn is over the top. Really enjoy coming here. Great prices. Staff is very

friendly. And they have events like bike nights and car shows, which look lit. Oh, learned a word. I love that. I think maybe they wrote that wrong, because it looks like, look. That look I messed up. It says they look like a word. I love that. I think maybe they wrote that wrong because it looks like look. That look, I messed up. It says they look like a lit.

So I think maybe they meant they look like a lot of fun, but they wrote they look like a lit and then just ended it. I'm not sure. And that was, but they. But then they ended the update. So. Why are they? This is, there's something. It feels like this is another one of those sleeper agent type things where they're sending some code to some, somebody, some government agency. A t-shirt website that's copying everything down and saving it on.

And they're like, look at the words missing from the previous review and that's the secret message kind of thing. Yes. Because it's similar. It's also written sort of like an acrostic where, just learned this from the somerton man episode that i just covered isn't an acrostic where it's like you have the letters going down each letter for of a word and then each letter also spells another word yep so it'd be like christine it'd be like crazy i always say cool but then i'm like that's a lie it. It's not true. So I changed it to crazy. H is for hoo boy.

I don't know. Hooligan. Hooligan. So it's written like that in that every kind of brief phrase is entered downward and starts with a capital letter. But it's not really because, well, oh. I have an acrostic for you. What? It's Zandy.

Uh-huh. The X is for xylophone. Because I don't know any other X words. That's all. That's it. It's just xylophone. Yeah, it's just xylophone. And then you just gave up.

Xylophone. Oxenert. So it looks like xylophone Andy. If you read this as an acrostic, it spells O-R-G. The org, the organization. Like lucy org from scientology oh or the org like the big organization yeah that probably glenn is in charge of wink wink wonk wonk okay um anyway anyway wow that was pretty that was pretty deep thank you thank you for that deep dive we dove deep into some topics that we probably shouldn't have most people don't dare my last one i have a redemption after this but uh this is kicks on 66 to come carry in new mexico this is by

kyle one star disappointing hash browns are closer to a mole hill than a mountain end of review yeah i'd hope so kyle so too or else we're all dead yeah a fucking mountain of hash browns that's terrifying you can't get out of that it sounds excellent in theory but in reality no probably no, probably not. Amen, Christina. Probably nobody needs that. Amen. Oh my God, that's like a natural disaster. So true.

So true. Like, you would not be able to write that review, Kyle, if you had received a mountain of hash browns. Do you know anything, Kyle? Also, a molehill of hash browns? That's sizable. I mean, like, a molehill's not tiny. As long as there's not a mole in

it who's caving out half the middle of it if it's a mole that's been filled in with more hash browns then that's true it's not hollow you know um but i feel like you've i don't think that's how mole hills are generally they're just like mountains like i understand that a mole is underground making them but i'm pretty sure like the hill itself that you see there's no like hole in the middle well am i wrong like now you're making me question my understanding of what mole hills look like an ant farm but made of hash browns where you could kind of crawl around and create little like tunnels and he like kyle could crawl around in them i think that would be closer to a mountain than a molehill. It's a Kyle hill. It's a Kyle farm.

He just crawls around in tunnels. Like, I know that, like, they crawl out of the holes, but, like. No, I understand what you're saying. Yes, I totally know what you're saying. There's not, like, hollow space inside it. It's not, like, a shell and then inside is. Yes, exactly. it's not like um a shell and then inside is yes exactly like there's there would still even if even though like moles use said mole hill to crawl into the ground and like tunnel yes there is still the hefty pile of dirt substance yes yes hefty pile of hash brown for kyle to dive into for kyle

to just chew his way through yeah is that all you have i have one redemption oh great so ready for the redemption so this is from uh an email this is from kayla she her uh who's in oklahoma and wanted to bring our attention to a route 66 roadside attraction so it's not a diner but i thought this would be a fun way to end this is the blue whale of katusa uh back in the day this is according to kayla back in the day, this is according to Kayla. Back in the day, it was a popular swim park. Now it is clearly marked no swimming and is a quirky photo op. So here is what it looks like.

Oh, my goodness. Can you see that? Yeah, what is that? A whale? Yeah, it's like a whale structure. Here's another picture. It's like a whale structure in... Here's another picture. It's like a whale structure in a lake. And you can walk into the

mouth of the whale. It's really cute. I love it very much. It's smiling. You can walk in. It says no swimming. I just looked it up. I'm really into this. Kayla sent a bunch, but I'm going to read one. Some of the negatives, people were like, you could drown here.

It literally says no swimming. And they're complaining there are no lifeguards. Kayla sent a bunch, but I'm going to read one. But like some of the negatives, people were like, you could drown here. It's like, well, yeah, you're not. It literally says no swimming. You're at a lake. And they're complaining there are no lifeguards. Anyway, but this is a five star review because we're ending on a good note. This is by Pamela, five stars. Cathartic experience that I won't soon forget. The calm of the water invites you into the whale, and before you know it, you're peering out into the artificially blue-dyed waters, wondering where you turned in life to, like Jonah, end up having a spiritual experience inside a whale.

Everyone should visit this place. End of review. Wow. I want that experience. Chills. I want that experience. I'm jealous of that experience. Chills. I want that experience. I'm jealous of that experience. I would love to experience such an awakening inside a whale.

I have some more info that's relevant to us. Absolutely. There's a podcast studio inside it. There will be. Fun fact, I just used all of our Beach View Sandy money and bought the blue whale of Catoosa. All of our many monies. All of our big, big dollars. All these are $300 we had saved.

All for that because no one else wanted it. Yes. No, what I was going to say is it's only 11 hours away. Wait, really? Mm-hmm. 11 hours, like almost exactly. All right. Road trip.

Road trip. I'm down. Me too. We could stop at all these cool diners. We can stop at Denny's. Oh my god. Sorry, I just got a reply to my tweet about Chip and Joanna. I've had a couple, but the one I just saw was, so I say that they save homes that look

hopeless, renovating the imperfect and revealing them as what they were always intended to be. And someone said, all in unremarkable style and gray scale i you're not wrong hey now you're not wrong you know who they were okay i've seen the show though i've seen the show they make really beautiful it's so funny to me they make really beautiful um you can't even say it. Yeah, I can't. You don't know what you're... No.

Yes, I do. They make really beautiful old farmhouses and they renovate them. They make the farmhouse? Yeah. Well, they take the shell of it and then they build it back up to its former glory. Yeah, I know. I read all about them to you. Yeah, you did.

Okay. Now is it time for my challenge? Yes. This is from Sophie who says, find a negative review where the reviewers friends or family with the owner or staff and so let's see lacy sent some help this is a one-star review of a place called jay's elbow room by lynn see the l names i'm telling you what is this place what it kind um it looks like a restaurant. Okay. Elbow room. That's so funny to me.

Yes. It looks like either a bar or a restaurant. I'm very disappointed tonight. My service was very poor. I used to come here a lot and bring a lot of business around to this place. But tonight's service was just very poorly served. Everyone else around us was getting served but us. It saddens me because I know the owner. But this whole ignoring customer, I'm not used to. As many big tips I

leave, every time I come back I get treated like a new customer, while everyone else is getting great service. It saddens me that I will no longer want to come here even though I know the owner. The service is getting more horrible each and every time. Not saying I should get good service because I know who owns the place, but I leave at least a $150 tips every time and I get treated like a newcomer every single time. It's ridiculous. I feel like it doesn't matter what I tip, I will always get treated different here. So it's a goodbye. I mean, do you think they know the owner? I couldn't tell from that review. Actually, I got a vibe that they actually don't know the owner and they're just insisting that they do.

They were very insistent. It is interesting to see kind of the variety of people who claim they know the owner because it goes from, yeah, he's like a buddy of mine to all the way to, oh, I met this. Yeah, he's like a buddy of mine to all the way to, oh, I met this. There was one that was like, I met this guy playing poker and he made fun of all his customers and said they're too stupid to realize they never wash the seafood. And I was like, oh, my God. So there's quite an array of people who kind of know the owner. Well, in this case, it's like if you truly did know the owner and expected something out of that relationship that you supposedly have, why are you leaving them a one-star review? Like, clearly you don't know them well enough to, like, want to support them. I feel like most customers get treated pretty standardly every time they come in,

unless you've literally been going there, like, daily to some diner and get the same thing every day. I feel like the servers aren't going to... They've been watching too many mob movies or whatever where the person comes in, they're like, oh, we've got your table back here. Yeah your table back here like oh like immediately serving them with everything that they want they know the owner they probably murdered the owner's grandfather or something yeah this is more of a threat than anything yeah they're they're being blackmailed into knowing the owner so i wouldn't even worry about it you don't want to be in that situation okay speaking of that i'm

going to kind of cut to this part, which I was very excited about. So I had Googled knowing the owner at a restaurant or something. And on Reddit, in the subreddit tales from your server, people started talking about somebody kind of brought up like, oh, you know, people who come into a bar restaurant while you're serving them and they say they know the owner and they deserve something because of it. How do you respond? And so the user who posted that is called Satan

is Lemony. And they posted, my favorite tactic to figure out if they genuinely do know the owner is to ask which one. If they can't name a name, tough luck. Whatever ridiculous request you're making, it's not going to happen. However, some people think they can convince us they really do know the owner. You should know who the owner is. I do, but do you uh if they keep pushing it especially expecting freebies or discounts i always say well if you can give them a call or or get them to call me i'd be happy to help you out it doesn't come around often but it's one of the most satisfying moments of my job so that's lovely like i feel like if you have a thing to say back yeah because then it's not rude if they really do know the owner it's like which one you're like oh michael he's my neighbor it's like very normal let me go get him you know what i mean

it's not like saying i don't believe you it's just asking to clarify so you get defensive at a question like that clearly there's you're projecting something here so uh here's a response by tj nova who says someone told me this the other day i was like oh really where do we know each other from which i love that's hilarious and then there's one more comment i'm gonna read by richie 70 who says lol try this one happened to me several times i'm a close friend of the owner oh do you mean my dad yes how's he doing been dead five years you must not have been too close a friend so uh oh my god cool um that's kind of a way to shut people down if they uh if they try to get something get special treatment yeah holy shit and also i don't get it like that i that attitude i mean i'm preaching in the choir and everything. But if you go and your friend or

someone you know has a business, a restaurant, even a small business, like asking for wanting free stuff out of that, it's really shitty. That's what one of them actually said that. They said, you know, my boss always tells me like, if somebody says that they know me and they want something out of it, they probably don't know me or don't know me well, because none of my friends would do that. So it's like, that's a good point. You know, like, if you had a friend who behaved that way, you'd probably know or be prepared. You know how many times my friends text me and say, Can I get a free version of your podcast? Yeah, me off. Well, that's why they're no longer your friends. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you said my friends don't behave this way gotta cut cut you loose yeah but like honestly like i sometimes they come over here and they're like i know the owner and i'm like which one which one oh which one uh my brother he's been dead for five years yep but no i don't know if i'm trying to think of examples my but like yeah if a friend of mine had a small business i I wouldn't be like, send me free shit. I'd be like, I want to tip really well and support your business. I'd be like, can I pay double for this? I mean, if my friend owned Google, okay, sure. Maybe I'd be like, send me a phone or something.

I don't know, a tablet. But that's different. That's different. If my friend owned Google okay that sounds like if you give a mouse a cookie but like just way shittier the corporate version uh so this is a review of uh from dating site reviews sorry dating sites reviews.com and uh this is a place where people discuss and rate different dating websites i need this for human seeking human this is amazing it's it's sort of like a cool cruiser form but a little more believe it or not more depressing because it's people kind of just complaining

about their bad experiences on dating apps and oh my god that's perfect okay this is good to know thank you yeah you should check it out so this is a review of plenty more fish which is interesting because i know of plenty of fish yeah it. It's called Plenty More Fish. It's actually a thing, though. Yeah. A separate thing. So it's like a knockoff. Let me see.

I want to make sure I get this right. Plenty More Fish. Now Blaze is going to be like, why are you getting ads for dating apps? Oh. Oh. And cremation services. What are you planning? Uh-oh.

And life insurance policies. Oh, it is real. Single fishmation services. Like, what are you planning? Uh-oh. And life insurance policies. Oh, it is real. Single fish? Silver fish? Oh, my God. The naughty pond. I'm a naughty fish. Naughty dating.

The silver pond. This is no strings, no problem. Wink, wink. Okay. You can do single parents, Christian singles. Oh, but they send you to plenty of fish. So, maybe it's a more specified version you know what i mean oh this is no it's like is it a uk version because when you scroll down you get a

map of the uk oh maybe maybe it might be interesting yeah you know what that's probably what it is because every time i click one of them it sends me to um it sends me to plenty of fish yeah probably because we're in the u.s but maybe if you're in the UK, we'll send you to Plenty More Fish. I think you're totally right. Interesting. Okay. Okay. So this is a review of Plenty More Fish by Todd. Listen, I know these offices in Windsor.

I know someone who works there. They are often meeting up in Las Vegas or Barcelona to discuss what new tricks they can play on lonely individuals in order to get their hard-earned coin out of them as they are licensed crooks i think we should organize a protest and picket their offices in victoria road windsor and make public how rotten and corrupt these buggers are end of review well if that doesn't tell you it's british then i don't know what i should have figured that out from the comment but um i i do love the notion that they know this um they know someone who works there and knows all about their business trips and what they discuss in their conferences uh they get clearly some sort of secret intel into the conniving and scheming ways so funny that they're just like yeah yeah like i know how these people operate like i know them what

fuck i know them and i'd like to protest and picket their offices if you had any sway and actually knew them then maybe you could actually talk to them but um this is a uh so tripadvisor sort of like yelp where they do like questions that people answer they have the same thing called question and answer and this is a question and answer section on grill bill which is i I guess, the restaurant. Oh, I thought we were on dating sites still. I was like, what? Who's Bill? It's the UK version of Match.com. It's just all for Bill?

Yeah. Grill Bill. Okay. This is a question by Sarah. Is this the owner whom goes around telling people he was a Navy SEAL only to find out through YouTube he was named and shamed, revealing he's only a PlayStation hero? If someone will do this, imagine what the quality of the food will be like. And this is a response. I know the owner, Sonny, personally. To my knowledge, he has never claimed to be a Navy SEAL. I've eaten there many times, and the food is always

great. Another answer. Nothing to do with Navy SEALs on our visit and we spoke with the owners over the course of the night. If the food is anything to go on, maybe he should be awarded with some kind of medal. I'm sure the person loved that. And now here's the final answer that kind of actually answers what's going on. Okay, okay. I'm curious.

Yeah. No, it has since been proven that the man lied as he only said it because the owner of the restaurant has a Punisher emblem on his car, which was later adopted by military groups. This does not make the owner a Navy SEAL, and neither did he say or tell stories of his time in any military group. You, sir, need to get your facts right before talking rubbish. End of review. So these are a lot of people who do know the owner stepping up to be like i don't think this guy's ever said he's in the military you got like the the everybody who knows this owner in one like a little bit

segment little segment and i had to look up the punisher logo because i'm embarrassing and i'm ignorant okay but it's that scary skull i know it's yes it's from a comic book yes um and it's funny i was reading some people talk about how it's been adopted by police officers oh when yikes the punisher has spoken like in the comics was against the police and the like it was it's a whole thing of like that's they're using this symbol when they don't actually know so why would you use a scary skull that's called Punisher to represent what you do? Why would you want to do that? Have you met the police in the U.S.? No, have you?

I trapped you. He's friends with the police. They claim to be Navy SEALs, and it's not okay. But they should be awarded a Medal of Valor. Whoa, okay. I am not agreeing with that one one their cremated corn is so good it's over so over the top so they deserve a purple ribbon a purple heart whatever the fuck it's called you give a purple heart to the police officers of the usa a purple ribbon around the old

oak tree i'm gonna at bill grill christina you're just like mashing words together is this you're just talking yourself in circles here oh my god okay i'm gonna move on this is a question answer section on prickly pear or for prickly pear on tripadvisor is friday catfish and shrimp all you can eat and what price response from trish i know it is all you can eat price I don't know but I know the owner personally I can call him this morning if you'd like oh my god it's something where it's like kind of cute where they're like excited to get to know the person but at the same time it's like why don't you just call if you the restaurant like the fact that they're just like putting this out as if like instead of actually answering the question they just wanted a chance to throw in the fact they

know the owner so like if you did know the owner and want to use that info that to help you then just call the owner text them and be like hey just wondering well but they don't get a response because the owner knows that they're just on trip advisor again reading people's reading the public's questions and then calling him to say hey we have another question about your opening hours yeah is it are you the owner's like are you using me for clout on trip advisor again not again oh my god for clout on trip advisor i mean it's kind of sweet that people are excited to know these business owners. Yeah. I mean, at least it's not like in a nasty way, you know. True.

So those weren't, you know, obviously negative reviews. But, you know, I started with those. So all good. Now we have Redemptions, which I know that Sophie had asked for negative reviews. So I feel like we did that. But I want to end on some positivity here. Love that. This is a five-star review of the Belter Motel

by Missy hello Don how are you Missy okay someone's getting murdered at this motel this is on TripAdvisor hello Don how are you Missy baby I know the owner

he's very sweet and handsome he has good prices, clean nice rooms always check on you to see if you need anything. I would and will stay again in the Belter Motel. Uh-oh. Review? Uh-oh. He's like, no, you won't. No, you won't.

Because you are blacklisted. I spent one night at the Belter Motel. Got to know the owner, if you know what I mean. That's what it's giving me vibes of. Link, how you doing baby oh yeah i spent a great he's like oh no i got to know the wrong person because i'm never escaping her now yeah that does it's interesting though hearing that it reminds me of the beach shoe sandy reviews a lot of people say hey baby hi i was like what does that mean oh no i regret

even wondering what it means. Miss you, baby. It's like, okay, you know the owner to the point that you know he has clean rooms. That doesn't indicate to me that you really know the owner. But what do I know? Not much. All right. So now this is the last one I have. And this is five stars of a skill for.

Oh. Sorry. Turn off, please. Yeah. Sorry for... Oh. Uh-oh. Sorry. Turn off, please. Yeah. Sorry for everyone else. Sorry, everybody. You just said it twice. This is a skill for...

Three times. What are you doing? This is a skill for A-L-E-X-A called Do It. This is the description. Just ask Alexa to give you inspiration and receive one of the most incredible and invigorating inspirational speeches you'll ever hear in your life no other hardware is required simply say give me inspiration this episode okay we were going it was so smooth i know we're all over the place but now people are just gonna be mad i not going to put all that in there.

It's going to be bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Because you just said it like so many times. I bleeped out. Christina Simon. Bleeped out his name and then immediately we said it like 30 seconds later. Multiple people were like, hey. I know. I know you said you were going to bleep this, but you only bleeped the first one.

I was like, god damn it. I didn't even notice when I was editing obviously obviously um and well simon so what happened was he messaged me and was like oh my god it's so funny that it made it in there and i was like by the way people are saying that it didn't bleep the second time i was like i can edit it if you want and he was like no it's okay he was like actually i asked christine not to edit i wanted my name attached renee texted me and was like oh my god alex and simon pissing out a window i was like i was like how did you know it was simon now i'm like oh wait and now we're bringing it up again i've said more attention to it so i'm sorry about saying alexa basically

if you're supposed to give me inspiration and this is a thing called by the way happy birthday to kate we're recording this on Kate's birthday. Oh, happy birthday, Kate. Simon's fiance. Okay. Sorry. That took me by. I needed to throw that in there.

Okay. So this is, it's called Do It. It's basically here in inspirational speeches. We just did it and she wouldn't stop. So be careful if you try to use this on your own robot. This is a five-star review of this task okay by amazon customer he's an okay guy i know the guy who made this he's all right end of review oh i looked on i did the like search through the site through amazon site for i know the guy who

made this to see what would come up that came that's so specific owner like the inventor or something um i didn't think it would be an inspirational app for i was gonna say i don't think we'll ever have an a review of an alexa app again okay maybe i should look into it you probably will yeah but like i would never have thought to find something but honestly if this guy if i read this about my app i'd be like screw you you know me and i'm okay i'm all right yeah true he's all right he's an okay guy unless it's like it's not awesome yeah he's not worth inspirational messages but he's okay yeah that's so random why would you even write that that is such a random like that's why i'm like inclined to believe it only because who would lie about knowing the developer of this

app to find this specific app it's not like anything super famous exactly but yeah you'd think that if you went to support your friend with that you wouldn't just say he's an okay guy but if your friend was like hey can you leave a review for my new self-published novel and you're like it's fine i guess i'd be like wow you are no longer my friend and but they didn't even like say much about the app they just said oh he's an okay guy like clearly he doesn't this reviewer does not give a shit about the app no or really the person i guess or quite frankly about their friendship because it doesn't seem like it's gonna last very long anyway that's all i have it's wonderful this is a long. Anyway, that's all I have. It's wonderful.

This is a long episode. Hour and a half. That's one of our goals. We want to bring you more content. So, yeah, if you missed it, we just talked about it. We had Between You and Us just released on Monday. Last week we had a Patreon episode. Yeah, and we'll bring more of those, of course, next month.

And I think that's about it that's about it on my end too sounds great we should probably give a theme and challenge though for next week my two tabs open our blue whale of katusa and chip and joanna games so let me at least it's not plenty more fish anymore all right our theme um is somewhat relevant actually in our lives recently and is also a suggestion from a listener from this morning so sophie says hi i've been buying lots of seeds and plants on etsy and nurseries some of the reviews are hilarious um i usually think it is because they weren't patient enough with the plants or impatience with germinating the seeds stuff that i don't know anything about so i could see how other people who also have no idea what they're doing would go and write negative reviews

would assume that they're doing things right and maybe they're not exactly so um i think we should just do like reviews of nurseries okay that sounds like yeah like plant plant garden centers garden centers is that better yeah yeah plant things um but yeah if we find like etsy ones or whatever that works too but wait let's see what like think like we're like people on etsy that sell plants too oh okay so but like gardening kind of are we putting all of that in the title is that gonna fit all of what you just said uh yeah reviews of uh nurseries plants garden centers seeds and seeds germination germination etsy etsy etsy plant sellers with the stuttering that i do too like in the title of course um yeah okay we'll find a freaking title we'll find a title

somebody will figure it out you know what the theme is. You get the idea. Plants grow. People write reviews. We read them. End of story. What else do you need to know, folks? Okay, here's your challenge. This is from Katie, who is buying an ice maker.

No. Congratulations. For your chicken? She says, I was browsing Amazon for ice cube trays. Is it rude that there are still freezers without ice makers in the year of our lord 2021 or what and i'm like yeah that blows um and then she said i found this uh i came across these trays that make tiny ice cubes and uh why what why do you need tiny i don't know i guess for your chicken i don't know um and so she says my challenge is to find reviews where people complained about...

I'll explain this. Okay, so I'm cutting you off for a reason. So far, there is literally nothing. I have no idea what to expect. I thought you were about to guess it. No, because I'm like, the challenge involving ice cubes? Sort of. Okay, I'm curious.

Find reviews where people complained about not getting an item they were not getting an item related to the item they bought but definitely weren't supposed to get like in this review for this ice cube tray where they complained that there wasn't any ice with the ice cube tray and 267 people found it helpful which might be a joke review but that one sounds like a joke but essentially the idea is like oh um i didn't get this thing like when when they make those obvious statements like does not come with yeah like blank not included which is like obviously the dog is not included with the leash you're buying or whatever it is something stupid like that okay got it that they come i don't know i hope that's not too hard we'll find out we'll find out okay thank you kat. And I hope you found it. Ice tray.

Yeah. And hopefully it didn't come with ice because that would be weird. Yes, it would. Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you. This was a fun one. Yeah.

And we'll talk to you next week about plants and shit. Do you want me to say all that again? Yeah, please. We'll talk to you about plants, stuff, gardens, nurseries, Etsy. Germination. Germination. Germination.