Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 134: Reviews of Dick's Last Resorts

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly we are all connected discover echo from cirque du soleil opens may 8th under the big top at dorado lakeshore boulevard west tickets at cirque du Soleil.com. Echo thinks it's presenting partners' sun life. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to episode 134 of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast where siblings read shitty reviews.

And it's not just any siblings. Oh, the sheep are siblings. It's us. Oh, yeah. Welcome to our show. This week we are doing this fun game where we're doing episodes in advance. And it's been confusing to have the themes in advance, but people been sending some emails in so thank you for your help we're doing reviews of dick's last resort today that's from taya uh i think it's taya and also i think that uh nicole also sent this in april as a suggestion so i figured um yeah well i didn't

pick like double credit here no no i didn't i didn't pick nicole's well teo doesn't want to be involved anymore since you said their name wrong so it's actually nicole you're now my best friend so thank you nicole uh we have i have a few i struggled with this really yes i don't know why that's so weird there's so many just complained about the food i don't know i know that's true all right well i guess you go first you probably have more than me sure um i was in nashville when i was reading these um did you do the pigeon forge one um maybe that's the one that people love to send in emails about really okay i don't know if I did any of those, actually.

I did only from Nashville and then a couple other places. But anyway, this first one is by Diane. One star review of Dick's Last Resort in Nashville. Oh, and if you don't know what Dick's Last Resort resort is we should probably say it's a place that is known for rudeness um apparently cleanliness like not being clean as a thing like they purposefully put napkins and things on the floor yeah they throw things at you um they try to be rude on purpose it's sort of their shtick to be kind of assholes like lack of customer service is their whole deal which i don't personally totally get but like you know whatever floats your boat it

sounds really stressful that's stressful but a lot of people go there for that people like it people seem to like and they write on hats you get a paper hat that's with an insult on it usually that's kind of one of the things that happens. Sometimes racist ones. Oh, really? I did see some one-star reviews that I didn't include today where they talked about racist jokes that the servers made. And they were like, that wasn't funny. That was just racist.

Yeah. One star. And I was like, yeah. It seems like a dangerous business move because i feel like there's a line that not everyone knows where to tow you know you know what i weirdly disagree because i think if someone made a racist comment at any other restaurant okay fair they get in big trouble but because they've set this up the way they have you can apparently be racist with no consequences you can literally throw shit at people and be like

it's part of it's part of the job yeah and the manager actually responded and said we're we while we don't agree with racism we do sometimes toe the line with our racy jokes. It's like, yikes. Funny. Yikes. And also there was one right down the street here at Newport and the Levee. I found it. I was going to bring it up. You did?

I couldn't find any good ones. I have at least one. Okay, good. Yeah. I don't know if any of mine are good, but I at least kept the certain ones out. So here we go. This is one in Nashville by Diane. Awful food.

Potatoes was raw. Mac and cheese had absolutely no sauce. Shrimp was fishy. Just absolutely awful, expensive food. End of review. There's no sauce. Yeah.

Like no cheese? I guess no cheese. I was focused more on the fact that the shrimp is fishy which sounds really gross but i guess it's the whole point what else is shrimp supposed to be i did see a complaint that said the salmon was too fishy so i guess maybe that's just a running thing that happens there what does that mean like do they not i assume i assume this person doesn't know what shrimp are. It could be. If they think that shrimp being fishy is not how it's supposed to be. What else is it supposed to be?

Shrimpy. Shrimpy? No, you probably don't want your shrimp to be shrimpy because that means it's small, right? I guess that's true. I'd like a good jumbo. Anyway. Why don't you just read one? Okay.

I have one. I got an email from Izzy that was really helpful and also had some that I think kind of sum up what Dick's Last Resort is all about, like if you aren't aware. So I'm just going to read a couple of these, if that's okay, to kind of... I'll allow it. Okay.

So here's the first one. This is a one-star review by Nelson. They are rude and throw straws at you. The waitress even called me a butthead. End of review. That's the worst you get? I mean... Yeah. Yeah. You should read read yeah i got got off pretty

easy based on some of the things i've read i guess when i said that it's hard a bad business decision because not everyone knows where to toe the line i guess i meant not every customer knows has a different line maybe like i feel like some people go in and say uh that like i really liked when you made fun of my boobs but like then you said something racist and that's too far but some people go in and start crying because they got called a butthead and i'm like well and then they're the people who leave one star reviews because they didn't get the really bad jokes okay exactly right weren't mean enough or some people said well you they were mean but they weren't funny

mean like there's yeah you're right there's so many you know anyone who goes here is going to probably be expecting something different um but then again no matter what happens the business can always write it off as like that's our thing that's our thing that's our thing no matter what so the only real valid ones are like racism and shitty food i guess i don't know okay well i'm glad you said that because i actually have an email i was going to read it later but i'm going to read now this is from joshie he him thank you joshie and it says um i just going to read one of these because i think it actually kind of sums up exactly what you're saying. This is a one-star review by Tom.

Everyone was super nice. End of review. So sometimes... It's just like, it's a really weird twist on the normal... Dining experience? Yeah, I actually had that under Redemptions, which obviously it's not quite, but I just figured it fit better here because i know what you mean yeah so i have something similar uh review that kind of gives a feel for what people are hoping for or at least

what this one person is hoping for okay this. This is a review by Ulrika. One star. Despite the reviews, we decided to give this place a try because it looked hilarious. The food was the worst food I've probably ever had. I would happily pay for good food, but this can't even be categorized into that.

We ended up leaving our food and just eating at home. Other servers were hilarious, but ours was so blah. Our hats were nowhere near funny. We saw tons at other tables that were hilarious. I am easier to get into than

community college. My camel toe needs a pedicure. I have more highlights than ESPN, etc. Our funniest was, I fart dust. Even though the food was gross, I would have been happy if we had the entertainment aspect, but that was completely lacking. End of review.

That's so sad for that one server who just, like, tries. Tried their best. He tries just tries. Tried their best. He tries so hard. Tried their best. Fart jokes. Are those funny? They used up all their good material. And then it was at the end of the night.

It's like, what does Ulrika get? Yeah. They had to go to my favorite website. Fart dust. Which is punoftheday.com. No. And start scrolling. You do not go on a site called punoftheday.com.

Regularly. Do you go every day maybe? I used to go every day in high school. What happened? Well, life happened. Life happened. Actually, let me make sure punoftheday is still a thing. It's like probably.

Can you imagine if it got shut down and I just stopped? Oh no. I'm picturing now a little little animated construction worker it says the site is under construction no i'm so sad we'll be back in november of 2015 look there's still the link on google but it says oh it says this site might be trying to steal your password or message or credit card okay i hope no one searched for that site what is that sketchiness that's what it says when i go to pun of the day.com okay no one go to pun of the day.com what did i do okay you might be an accessory to credit card theft but i could probably just click

through and see it real quick right or do you think it will actually do something bad i'm going to say don't but it says proceed that's just so that i'm safe like you know i want you to but i'm gonna say don't do it so that i'm covered legally i did it anyway darn nothing happened oh it's just stealing all my credit cards oh wow yeah expected such a bummer um okay well let's see what i have here that's a bummer because wow i used to to love that website. Yeah. Were they really insulting puns? Is that why they could use it at Dick's Last Resort?

You know, they were just really cheesy, you know? Wow, I remember them fondly. Wow, nobody told me they'd passed, you know? Pretty sad. If they passed? Yeah. If they passed on? Yeah.

Okay, this is... Who would tell you? I don who would tell you who who which of in your circle are there is it are you in a circle it's just me on the blogs and the forums it's me inside the circle okay i was pretty cool in high school as you remember oh yeah i was there you were there i was there um i got bullied because i was your brother that's how cool you were that's how cool i was yeah okay this is another another one from izzy thank you izzy they sent a few so i have one here this is one star review by sam wow not a place for kids that's for sure also there's a lot of ellipses but they're're all commas. Oh. Which tends to be like a trend I see. An advanced form? They've advanced to a higher level than I can comprehend. Comma, comma, comma.

That's so weird. It's so strange looking. It looks like they're drunk or just really old. And I don't know which one. Maybe their period key is broken. It could be. So they have to settle for that. I do wonder if it's on the computer or on the phone that one i think makes somewhat of a difference no probably not

all right so sam says wow not a place for kids that's for sure comma comma comma comma why would there be a restaurant like this i'm sure matter of time this restaurant will be shut down comma comma only restaurant i ever eat that i didn't leave a tip this restaurant was at the island in pygon forge and i'm really supervised that they allowed it there at that location by god how did it was it p-i-g-o-n or something um no this is the second weird pigeon spelling we've had in the past few weeks right what was the other one pig pig wine pig wine pig wine pig wine forge okay we actually talk about pigeon forge a lot because i'm now remembering that time we talked about pigeon forge in relation to birds or yeah there was something something animal related it's spelled p-e-i-g-o-n that That is Pygon. That's how I would say that.

This restaurant was at the island in Pygon Forge, and I'm really supervised. They allow it there at that location. Again, never take kids here, and the food was no better than fast foods. Anyone ever involved in this kind of action will never make it to Heven. How do they spell heaven?

It's not heaven.'s even i mean sorry h-e-v-a-n heathen yeah that's how i would say it christina wow uh is he it's kind enough to underline this in yellow for me this line anyone ever involved in this kind of action will never make it to even all i can say glad i was raised better than this i should have walked out right away after being seated in like 16 commas could you imagine like oh talking to your waiter who's berating you like you're never getting into heaven for all this it's like literally this person's getting paid to act this way who raised you this way it's like i'm getting paid for this it's not like because my parents thought this would be a good way to introduce me to society. It's so funny because there's so many reviewers I read that said, we thought this would be

fun for our kids, but they weren't mean enough. Oh, really? Yeah. Maybe I'm spoiling my own thing. I don't think I used it. I saw quite a few that said, this might be another case of like Google users are different from TripAdvisor and Yelp because I saw a lot that said i took my kids thinking this would be fun but they were way over the line and and i'm like well you're going to a place called dicks where they specifically write horrible

things about you yeah like yeah i don't know what to tell you i don't know i that's so funny because they're yeah there must be a difference in the type of reviewer because so many google reviewers said that they brought their kids there and they said it'll toughen them up no joke wait what no joke that it'll tough toughen them up that it's something that i take it back maybe they were raised this way maybe just maybe they went through this same kind of trial and error as children they were brought to the gauntlet of dick's last resort yep and then they and then they said okay one day i time for you to graduate one day i can't wait to then the kids said one day i can't wait to be in their shoes so i can berate kids and then the the dunce of the class who didn't really graduate valid barely graduated but they wanted it to be 100% graduation rate, so they pushed him through.

His only joke that he can ever come up with is, you fart dust, and it's just really sad because they want to keep him on, and technically he has the degree, but it's just, he just never was at the level all his classmates were at. I've lost the trail here of what I'm talking about. I just got, I was getting emotional. Oh getting emotional oh were you yeah i was a little choked up i'm sorry oh that's okay that's i have that effect on people that's a we should write

that movie tmtm dick dick's first resort dick's degree dick's degree no none of these titles are working. We'll workshop it. Okay. Here's another from the Nashville location. This is by Gwyneth. One star. If I could give this place a zero for the star, I would. This place sucks. Drinks and food terrible. No type of customer service skills.

One of the waitresses was very rude to one of our family members, spilled a drink on him, no I'm sorry, but said, I didn't feed you or wait on you again. Who does this type of mess? The only thing that makes this place quote unquote fun are those damn hats with the writing. Overall, 20 thumbs down.

That includes my toes. I will not be back. End of review. That includes my toes i will not be back end of review that includes my toes this person either is a mutant or does not understand what what thumbs are are all thumbs all of my toes are thumbs that's why i wear so many thumb rings i just have a thumb ring on every toe oh no what on earth that includes all my toes that's not what it is that's not how this works 20 thumbs down could you like nightmare fuel at the table taking shoes off taking taking socks off lifting your feet above your plate, pointing your thumb toes down with your hand.

My thumb toes. With your thumb fingers, all of them, all your thumbs on your hand. I have so many thumbs. And just point them down. I never knew that. So you know that phrase,

he was all thumbs? Is that a phrase? No, it's not. I thought it was. I don't think so. All thumbs, maybe. Like, is it kind of clumsy? Don't look at me like that. You said No, it's not. I thought it was. I don't think so. All thumbs, maybe. Like, I, like, is it kind of clumsy? Don't look at me like that.

You said no. Now Google it. Make sure you admit you're wrong. It says all thumbs meaning. Uh-huh. When, oh, here, clumsy or awkward. Yeah. Quote, where plumbing is concerned, Walter is all thumbs.

Yeah. Okay. Like, yeah. And he turns around. Like, I have two left feet kind of thing. He turns around and he is just he's sitting on your toilet with thumb toes what if well you know you know it would be okay hear me out 21 thumbs down you know what the 21st thumb is i don't want to know

your entire body because you're one of those thumb creatures from Spy Kids. So you're upside down and you have thumbs for fingers and toes. Okay. And you're just upside down pointing all of them down, including your body, which is an entire 21st thumb. So you're just hanging from the monkey bars. And you're giving everybody kind of just a sad feeling. Yeah. Because you're rejecting them. Yeah.

Got it. This is really terrible. I will say, though, everybody loves the hats. Yes, that's a thing. Some people were sad they didn't get a hat. Some people said, we didn't get enough hats. I mean, the saving grace of this place, if there is any sort of problem with their business model,

the hats were a genius plan because I feel like everybody was in it for the hats and at the end you know you can at least be you can look around look at all these insulting hats and know oh i'm this this is a thing there's a thing going on here so if you go there and you don't understand what's going on you can look around see these really nasty someone doesn't on hats whisper to you like you fart dust and you're like what i do like i don't even know what you would or what was the one what was the actual insult that the other no offense there are a couple here we go uh this first one is i am easier to get into than community college okay then my camel toe needs a pedicure okay and then i have more highlights than espn like those i'm like okay they're they're goofy and they're not personal

yeah some of them were like weight related and body shaming and racist and i was like okay like clearly those are inappropriate yeah if somebody whispered any of that like you're easier to get into than community college or you're camel. Like, I would be so more, like, if you didn't know. Yeah. It's a good point. It kind of indicates to everyone what's happening. Yeah.

I actually do have one about the hats. This is by the Parker family. One star. It is mean. They yell at you. They make mean hats. End of review. they make mean hats end of review they make mean hats so some people i guess are not on board you just don't i don't know

do they just walk down the street and say this place looks nice that's what i don't get like it's not known for its food so it's not like you can go thinking like wow but if i if i'm in an area for the first time and i google food, like there was one in Newport. If I'm in Newport and I was like, oh, a restaurant I haven't tried yet. Let me just go to this one. I would be, personally, I'd be very taken aback if that kind of stuff happened. But then again, if that happened, I'd realize, oh, I walked in on this. This isn't something that is personal to me.

It's I'm in their space i'm googling it to see what happens if you just type if you like look at it on yeah google maps because i wonder if it probably says american food or something it's not gonna say insult based food you know it's gonna uh let's see here well it says southern eats by surly staffers here we go restaurant chain where gruff staffers serve a southern style menu in a rowdy roadhouse environment yeah when you think rowdy roadhouse you don't think you're gonna be yeah i guess talk about your camel toe i guess i guess okay maybe i don't know what i guess when you read gruff you don't think like oh they, they're going to insult my intelligence and my hairstyle, I guess.

I also am reading here, putting the FU in fun since 1985. So that's great. Obnoxious staff, that's one way to put it. Alex, there's an article from local news station WCPO from November of 2016 that says Dick's Last Resort closes suddenly and permanently in Newport, Kentucky. Yeah, I saw it was permanently closed. Drama! Unexpectedly after two years in business. Interesting.

I didn't know there was one here. That was when I was not living in the area. Apparently I googled, which I'm probably maybe one of two or three people to ever do this i googled dick's last resort vegan um because i thought oh there's one in indianapolis maybe it would be fun to go there just to check it out see how it is but yet no oh my god i thought about that on your vegan menu they would probably they'd rip into me put salami in your mouth i don't know what they would do but they would do something terrible to be fair i did see people complain about them not taking food allergies seriously yeah they kind of just which is another thing that you should not do no

matter what style restaurant you are um so yeah i i don't plan or they'd be like you brought me the wrong entree and they were like see if i care yeah no i would go there to drink and then they shame me they shame me into paying for more i saw so many reviews that said oh they convinced me to get this drink and then it turns out i had to pay for the glass it's like 25 souvenir cup i mean it is like the ultimate experience you wouldn't want at a restaurant which is why i'm like i don't really get it but apparently the general manager, whose name was Harold Dull, which, oh, Harold,

he said, we were totally surprised, Dull said of the closure. So even he didn't know it was closing. Oh, no. It came from the top. It came all the way from the top. It's a Nashville-based chain, apparently.

Oh, it is Nashville-based. Okay. Well, weird timing then for me. They just shut down and nobody knew why still that's so weird it's a mystery okay well i mean it had terrible reviews so i don't know if it's that much of a mystery but maybe to harold i do have a review of the newport location please can you imagine you y'all i know i'm not going to tell you where i live even though i get closer each week but like i would be able to ostensibly walk there if it were still in existence and i'm a little bit sad you're how you're literally living in the house

that used to be the location yeah it's not closed down and then you bought it for your house it's not a house you don't you walk no matter where you walk in here, you're there. It's actually an empty property. That's why there's so many straw wrappers. You're like, this is original to the building. I can't change this. The historical society actually doesn't let us change that. Also, that's why I offer everybody hats as party favors.

I never run out. Sorry. But the only joke I could come up with favors. I never run out. Sorry. But the only joke I could come up with was from punoftheday.com. And now that they're closed, I'm kind of out of luck. Sorry. So, yes, you could have walked there, which would have been interesting for this episode. I wish I lived there now. Now you've really put a new storyline in my head.

I'm actually really bummed out. So sorry. That's a way better storyline. So sorry. So here I have one of the Newport location. This is by Shimmy Shimmy. One star. I had the crab balls and I am pretty sure it food poisoned me and everyone there was

making fun of me. Even the ground was making fun of me. End of review. Oh no. The ground. ground was making fun of me end of review no the ground i picture that like the moment i read that i'm like wow this person like passed out on the floor wildly because of how sick they are and the ground is like they like are hallucinating the last thing they remember is like the ground opening we make good grounds we should never create an animated show it would be so fucked up um i am sad that this person had a tummy ache. Why is that so funny?

I know. It's so funny that like, I wonder if they went knowing what it would be like normally, but then when they got sick, they said, okay, everyone cut it out. And of course the staff isn't going to cut it out.

It sounds like it'll be like, oh, wow, your stomach hurts. Oh my gosh. We are so sorry. You're right. That's the one thing that's off limits for us.

I did see one review where the person said that they got seated maybe it must have been a communal big table or something they got seated by a family with like a really small child and the family with a small child was like please take it like please no like cursing or no sexual stuff and whatever so this person wrote a review complaining saying like they seated us next to this kid so now like all of the waiters are just really nice and i don't like it i mean which to be fair is like you go for a reason for the point like that's the point yeah no i was i was kind of on their side there i could see how that would get annoying out that i mean i guess you would bring a child if you're like invited as like a bigger party but

i can't imagine you'd whatever i don't know why i'm still trying to understand that must be so weird to walk that line as a staff member they're terrible with people some people expecting you to be really mean and then other people expecting you to not be mean at all and then the people who like fight back i'm sure exist i oh i saw reviews where plenty where people said oh like they can dish it but they can't take it it's like wait what are you you're not trained for this yeah this is not how this works this isn't like a back and forth it's like going it's like going to see a lisa lampanelli show and like shouting at her and heckling her that's not how this works that's not she will destroy you that's just not a good idea it's not a good idea and also like you had

a shot at getting into heathen and now you like they didn't they were they were on the outs but you had your shot at now you've ruined it okay this is i actually have some with owner responses yeah so i'm gonna call them harold dull were these these from Yelp? They were actually from Google. Okay, because, yeah, I saw a lot. Uh-oh, is that bad? No, no, no, I don't think so. I just saw a lot, and the owners were very, like, surprisingly apologetic. Most of them were, especially on Yelp, too, but these are not quite so much.

So this is a review by, I'm going to say Melting Face, because that's what it says, and I can't come up with anything that would okay it'd be a equivocal to that so one star hostess just tried to seat my family of three with other people no big deal except my seat literally had a pole in front of it huh no thanks which i can only imagine they did on purpose a literal pole like the chair was just in front of a pole i mean i don't know i mean like i would get a kick out of that i think it's funny but i understand if you're at a baseball game and you buy a shitty ticket and you're like fuck i had to sit don't buy this seat because it's in front of a pole but if you go to a restaurant where they're supposed to mock you

make fun of you and your dad gets put behind a pole and you're like, well. You're like, by a pole, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. That's where you sit now. Well, this is a response from Otter. Getting up close and personal with a pole isn't for everyone, Dane. I don't know why it says Dane. It's not their name. Maybe they changed their name or something. Maybe they changed it.

Getting up close and personal with a pole isn't for everyone, Dane, and we're sorry to hear our host has tried to put that on you. We hope this didn't ruin your experience and ask that you please email us so we can learn a bit more about your experience end of response getting up and close i got close and personal for everyone there was a lot of kind of like putting them in their place like i guess it's not for you that's so interesting because i'm like sorry you feel that way type of apology. The only reason I reacted or asked where you got them or saw the owner response ones was because I feel like most of the owner responses were surprisingly apologetic and kind. I noticed that for most of them too.

And not funny. Yeah. And I was like, this doesn't fit the vibe of the place, which maybe is for the best that they at least after the fact are a little kinder. These were sent in by Izzy. So I think they put some special elbow grease into finding these, but the most, most of those on Yelp were all very,

very apologetic and like not, not the way that I presumed the staff would respond. If you were to make the complaint in person, that makes sense. Here's another Newport review. This is one star by Harrison. That makes sense. Here's another Newport review. This is One Star by Harrison. It was the worst experience I ever had.

They went way too far. They're lucky my girlfriend calmed me down because I was getting ready to hit bitches. Oh my god! And then it closed down soon after. Oh my god, and then Harold Dahl was like, happened poor they're lucky mike they also spelled like the problem is i couldn't say it they said there is t-h-e-i-r they're lucky oh boy the spelling was terrible and it was just all one sentence sometimes when you're enraged spelling just goes out the window i mean come on i just i don't know i'm sorry as the girlfriend if you know that your boyfriend is like somebody you have to regularly calm down dick's last resort

is probably the last place he should take them i mean maybe hey maybe the girlfriend though was getting a kick out of it too maybe the girlfriend's like i i know how he's gonna react it's my birthday work i want to watch this blow up i might be might have been a very purposeful choice healthy and smart no no but whatever but good for tiktok perhaps good for tiktok so true you never know that's how i pick restaurants that i take you to like where can i get the best how's that going for you by the way um not so good okay i have a review from amber this is one star was in gatlinburg yesterday and did not eat here but i would be kind of scared to eat there when the mayo was out on the table

and it was 90 out the usda recommends only storing mayonnaise in the refrigerator from the same page perishable food should not be left out more than two hours at room temperature one hour when the temperature is above 90 degrees fahrenheit 32.2 degrees celsius mayo is perishable once it's been opened end of review that was a little unnecessary you could have stopped after the first sentence reviewer yeah i think we all got it like if you're like there's mayo out in that heat i'd be like no thanks yeah gross okay move on not like that i actually love lord mayonnaise i didn't realize how unhealthy it was i don't need the usda to tell me that's gross that's exactly right yeah this is a response from harold dull the owner

what you got for us wait wait let wait, wait. Let me guess. Wait, what did Harold say about the poll? I forgot the exact word. It's not for everyone. It's not. Mayonnaise that's been sitting outside in over 90 degree heat all day is not for everyone. Getting up close and personal with hot mayonnaise

is not for everyone, Amber. So the owner owner response is thanks for stopping by to eyeball our mayonnaise amber we're pleased to let you know our mayonnaise is very well taken care of and we appreciate that there are such fine people in the world fighting for mayo rights cheers oh that was yep that was that's what i expect i know this must be the same place because this owner clearly is on it. That's good. That's good.

I like that. I actually have one more. It's a longer one from the location in Indianapolis, which is probably the one closest to us. Just for future reference. It's a one-star review. And this is exactly how I imagine it would go if i just stumbled into this place like this is okay maybe not me specifically but just if anyone just stumbles in not knowing what's going on this is exactly it um here is a review by elliot one star wow i'm still not

entirely sure what just happened. I'm visiting from out of town on a work trip and it was time for food after a long day. I saw the hostess and was told that they had no table available, but full service was available at the bar. So I headed there and grabbed a high top by the bar. After five to 10 minutes, as I was reading the news on my phone, a larger short lady came over and without any greeting or introductions demanded to see my ID. A little taken back by the abruptness of it all, and being 39, I wasn't expecting it. I fumbled for my wallet and as I was grabbing it, told her that I was just going to order a coke. She said I was sitting at the bar so she needed to see ID, which was a perfectly reasonable explanation for me. I showed her my driver's license from my wallet

viewing window, but she demanded I remove it. Again, a bit brisk and abrupt, but okay. As I was pulling the license out, she again snapped and said, is that all you came in for, a coke? In an incredibly sarcastic tone. Wow. At this point, I had enough. And this was obviously not going to get better anytime soon, so I told her I think it's best I left. Her reply was, good, as she turned her back and stormed off. On my way out, I told the hostess, and I'm guessing the duty manager, what transpired, but I didn't get a reaction, explanation, or apology. Just a stare. Sigh. I'm still not entirely sure how this spiral led out of control and why she didn't treated me the way she did or if I somehow triggered something. All I can speculate is

that she wasn't interested in serving a single person who wanted food but no alcohol. The big spending drunk crowds are all she wants to do. I ended up just up the road at Primanti Brothers and a very pleasant and happy server and environment. Quite different. And it helped cheer me up no end. Smiley face. End of review. Wow.

I really need someone to tell them what's going on. The owner did respond and said, I mean, I'm not going to read the whole thing, but it's basically like we're known for our blunt service. And then also apologized and said, send us an email. I have a feeling that this person doesn't want to come back. But yeah, that's exactly what I pictured would happen if somebody went in and just had no idea what was going on. I think if I went in and I didn't know, I'd be probably in this scenario where I'd try to be polite

and then be like, why is everyone being such a dick? Which is arguably the whole point i'd be completely taken aback yeah if suddenly i'm being treated terribly and i'm like why there's no reason for this truman show like he just like doesn't understand why everybody is watching him and judging and criticizing him um it's actually a little bit sad well i'm glad he found his own happy place down the road. Oh, by the way, Izzy also says that they're studying for the bar exam. So this was the perfect time to delve into reviews.

Oh, perfect. Well, good luck with your exam. Yeah, good luck. Good luck. I'm glad you found something better to do that time. Me too. Okay, this is one I found online on Yelp. And this is a one-star review by Sal.

The server, wears blue earrings, brought us drinks that he actually told us he diluted with his pee and toilet water. Maybe he needs therapy? We were actually worried for our safety, dropped cash on the table, and just left. End of review. So I think this person... Oh my god. This is that experience that you just read but like so much like more intense yeah like everyone at the table is like did we all hear

that like could you imagine like like oh i'm just i just want to drink a coke and instead of saying like like being shamed for that you say like oh no i'm just gonna eat toilet water and piss and respond like that would be if someone handed you your iced tea and said i pissed at this it's like wait what but to be fair if i feel like if it's that shocking it's clearly not reality because that is how someone normally would lose their job you know what i mean i love that their reaction is i think maybe he needs therapy yeah it's like well i feel like if I worked at Dick's, I would arguably also need therapy. But, you know. And, oh, my God.

I can't imagine the manager in the review I read, the people receiving the complaints, like, this person just treated me like this. Like, well, yeah. Hello. Like, this person pissed in my iced tea. And it's like, I don't think he actually did. I mean, I'll check. But I don't think he actually did. I think that's but i don't think he actually did i think that's part of the gag i hope anyway yeah hopefully um this is from

sarah sinkhole that's what it says using she her pronouns oh i was like oh sorry it's an email okay okay interesting um and actually someone named sarah Sinkle would dine at Dick's last resort, though. I know! Well, it's funny you say that, because she actually said, this theme is perfect for my first mission, because Dick's has a special place in my heart. In 2000, I went to the Dirty Mert location, Myrtle Beach, during Senior Beach Week, which coincided with Biker Beach Week.

So you know it was wild. That's crazy. I only remember what two of our group's paper hats said. So this is another example of what goes on at this place. One of my friends was dubbed the poster girl for Monistat 7, which is like yeast infection. And mine said, touch my boobs, 50 cents each. So naturally, I was approached by a very large muscular biker who offered me a dollar after a bit of haggling i made 20 so i didn't have to pay for my own subpar salad or the pair

of tearaway panties that said i got crabs at dicks 10 out of 10 would sell my boobs again love the show and you oh my god i just thought that was excellent that is excellent thank you thank you can i can i call you Miss Sinkhole? Miss Sinkhole? Is that appropriate? This is a one-star review from TripAdvisor that Miss Sinkhole sent in. Inappropriate, unfunny insults, dirty place. We went for lunch.

The white hats they gave us were full of inappropriate insults. This affects the male waiter's tip because no one likes to be called names. The food was terrible. Near the washroom, the table area there smelled like urine. The waiter told my daughter she was a future hooter girl and that my private part smelled like fish. Oh, lordy. Okay.

Just really rude, inappropriate comments. As soon as we read this, it affected the tip immediately. We have had a really bad experience and wish we never came. Not funny comments at all. End of review. And they basically responded like, Brenda responded like, our style is not for everyone. Yeah. Sorry.

It's another factor, though, if you have to work there your tips i'm sure there were so many that there was one girl who said we had a 250 bill for our bachelor party we gave them zero dollars and i was like you went don't put that on the internet yeah no that's that you should be embarrassed that's horrifying that is a terrible thing and the guy yelled out apparently like thanks for the tip and they were like it's what you deserved and i was like why are you relaying this to me like i'm gonna be on your side yeah yeah i did see people who said that the staff they um haggle their tips they like oh yeah i saw that somewhere too that they were like you better tip me and that turns people off from tipping which yeah like

this shouldn't yeah yeah that's a rough position to be in i would say it just sucks it just sucks um okay i think that's all i have because i read my fake redemption from josh that was a one star about how nice everybody was uh so that's it perfect perfect time for my challenge my challenge was from kendra was to find a review of a college or university where the reviewer is salty or upset about not getting in how'd it go it went pretty well it was a little tough to find specific reviews because i wanted to make sure that the review that i read actually like made it clear that they got rejected because there are a lot of one-star reviews that seemed really salty but they didn't say they didn't mention anything that could even hint at it that's true some might have been a stretch but i um i'm gonna start with the emails that uh people sent to help me out sorry i

so there's an email from um this is from emma who says hi she says my name is emma she her and i began listening to your podcast very recently after a friend recommended it highly hi hello to emma's friend um working my way through the entire back catalog while i work started out with the current episode about public pools. So I heard about the challenge to find reviews from students who didn't get into the schools they're reviewing. So Emma sent all sorts of things. This one isn't really necessarily someone who got rejected,

but I thought it was funny. So I'm going to read this one first. This is of Emory University. It's a one-star review. My sister goes here and she dumb end of review um the reason i read that was because i like clicked on the wrong one i was like that's not the one i oh my god i love that very much it's almost the opposite negative exactly exactly okay so this one is of savannah college of art and design scad scad yes this is a one-star review by jerry i wouldn't recommend

this school because they lied to me about letting me come to the school after they specifically said they would accept my score on the exam no matter what it is and a review oh and another thing is uh they spelled except e-x-c-e-p-t so buddy doesn't look too good for you so wait so he made them promise he made them. They should have seen that as a red flag. Maybe they did. He made them promise. He promised no matter what, no matter what, any number that I get on this SAT. I've like never heard of that being a thing.

So I don't know if that's... Seems like a strange promise that a highly respected university would make. Yeah, you wouldn't think so so i don't know who you talked to their um friend but it probably wasn't anyone who could no i wish i do the score but i think i know the score hopefully it wasn't a spelling test i mean yeah i mean honestly that alone tells me things might not have gone too well uh here's one more this is the university of georgia um this one i'm gonna pretend this is somebody who got rejected based on this review but we're not

totally sure uh this is a one-star review by mac it's a redneck school no idea why anyone would want to go unless you wanted a degree in cow mating techniques and oh they for sure that's so sad talk about salty why would you even waste the time to find this place i don't know exactly but it's funny like i think i've just closed it but i think 12 or so people found that one helpful 13 people found the other one helpful a bunch of just salty people probably going through these reviews uh a lot of these people are like 18 like they're probably haven't faced much like rejection from institutions yet and this is quite it i mean getting rejected from

cops sucks not that i would know just kidding i know very well but wow that would really blow so i get it if you're 18 and you just have a google account and you're feeling a little yeah pissed off like it doesn't surprise me that people do this um here's another one or another email this is from taylor she her does it does university of georgia have an animal husbandry uh maybe now i'm just actually wondering if this is a real thing animal and dairy science so i guess so maybe i guess so because i wonder the only other thing i can picture is that they had a significant other who like went off to college started dating someone from there or something you know oh yes that could totally be a breakup yeah okay so taylor here sent in she her sent in a bunch and said hello my friends i love this

challenge idea so much i knew i needed to go review hunting uh especially as a resident of north carolina where so many make their college their entire personality and this is quite the hodgepodge of reviews uh here's the first one this is one that i read and i thought you know what we all need a friend like this okay this is from uh this is a review of University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. Oh, I got rejected from there, baby. That's funny. Is this my friend?

This is. It's not actually. You don't have friends like this. I don't. I'm sure I don't. None of them listen anyway. No offense, Renee. Anyway, here's a one star review.

No, Renee would, okay. Renee would not write this review but renee would write something negative renee would write something probably more dangerous yes okay got it and more threat probably more threatening absolutely and now with her legal degree she really is a danger to society so yeah um here we go this is a one-star review i hope this doesn't affect my chances of getting into other schools but if it does i'm willing to accept that forewarning this is going to be a useless review because it will not help others this is simply a personal note unc is a great school

from what i've heard but their process is extremely nitpicky i understand they want the cream of the crop but i can't help but feel disappointed in their notion of cream of the cup. My best friend applied and was rejected. They didn't even give her a chance by deferring her. She is number four in her class. Might I add a very competitive class. Our valedictorian has a full ride to Yale and has a GPA of above 4.0. I'm sure there are many students who have been rejected that are in the same boat or are even better. And for those of you in that boat, I'm sure you will excel anywhere you go. I just believe that they need a more personal process. My best friend is one in a million,

not because of her outstanding work ethic and drive, but because of her compassion and love of learning. They'll regret rejecting her. End of review. And her name is Michelle Obama. Wow. Yeah, right? Look at that. Oh my gosh. really liked it I mean I did too I would

be so touched if my friend wrote me that oh and the thing is I'm sure so many people feel that way because it's a shitty process well and UNC Chapel Hill I think they're uh numbers unless somebody did just tell me this to make me feel better but i think they accept like 86 in state or something it's like a really high number of in state uh yeah i mean who knows maybe they do live in state but you know it's just a crapshoot i feel like even 10 years ago oh god how long was it now longer than that 12 years ago when we were applying i was applying it was a crapshoot then it's probably even worse now totally totally so i can't even imagine i certainly wasn't number four in my class so i don't even know what i was thinking

applying there but oh my gosh oh just wait till i bring up the schools i'm gonna read later that i found because i found some of the places i got rejected from oh did you yeah did you write reviews of all the places that rejected you literally not because i 10 years ago because i know that i was supposed to be rejected yeah looking back i'm like who did i think i was yeah exactly exactly this next one is of uh vanderbilt okay which i saw i was just there yesterday oh yeah right near there i went to the parthenon we've been to the parthenon in national he was there asking once again why they didn't let him in. And they still. I visited in college, but I did not apply.

Still don't let him on campus, even with that new hairdo and that mustache he was wearing. Mustache. As if I could grow one of those. It's fake Alexander, obviously. I don't know. It's blue on. Yeah, you all should know me by now. Okay, here's a one-star review.

Vanderbilt is overrated. I went to put app online at the office. They gave me wrong info and chewing that popcorn too loud. Don't get mad at me because your husband look a rat playing spades. End of review. What happened? Yeah, I still don't know. I asked.

I walked up. I had this review and I walked up to the admissions office. You printed them all out. And I said, please, please explain this review to me. Whose husband look a rat playing spades? And you know the answer. And you know I'm going to reveal these. You have a file on these somewhere you're hiding from the public.

Wow. Chewing popcorn too loud. This is so wild. That took a turn. Totally out of left field. Here is a review of MIT mit massachusetts institute of technology uh you looked at like the big guns huh oh these are from these are no no these are ones sent in by still sent in by oh got it one star this university did not give admit for famous personality like me so i hate it end of review signed michelle who is it um

logan paul i don't know but they gave george mason university a four-star review so we're on to something they go to george mason and their famous personality seven years ago yep yep my god then that's oh no and then they also gave a three star to the university of toledo in toledo ohio oh well so full of celebrities as far as i've heard yeah that's so random i don't know what any of this means but huh and then this final review i hate that i'm reading this but this is just terrible this is terrible it's terrible especially the last line so you'll have something to look forward to. Oh, no. This is by Bucky.

This is a one-star review of Howard University, which, for reference, is a historically black university, the research institute in D.C. So here's what Bucky has to say. I already hate Bucky so much. Accepted applicants to Howard University School of Medicine have some of the lowest mean GPA and MCAT scores of any med school in North America. With only San Juan Batista Escuela de Medicina in Puerto Rico admitting less qualified students. Additionally, despite receiving federal dollars, Howard makes no attempt to hide their bias against Caucasian students. Of Caucasian applicants scoring in the 95th to 98th percentile

on their MCATs and having GPAs between 3.6 and 3.8, only 8% were admitted. While at other medical schools, this student subgroup was admitted between 83% and 97%. Wait, wait, wait. While other schools, so many white people got in. That's the argument. Yes.

Okay. Yes. Okay. Okay. I know. But here we go. This is here. Demonstrating clear discrimination at Howard University School of Medicine.

If it were Harvard instead of Howard and superiorly qualified African American students were discriminated against instead of Caucasians, Department of Justice justice naacp uncf blm and every other pro-black group would be demonstrating in front of the dean's office everyone is against institutional racism provided the color satisfies the narrative the only unprotected class is the straight white white, conservative male. End of review. Ow, my throat. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Taylor sent this in for the record, okay?

Well, you're telling me. Who's this user? Did you call him? I called them Bucky. Bucky. So Bucky tried to go here, which is the wildest part is that in my mind, Bucky feels like he's not good enough for this school which like maybe there was something else they got from like your aura bucky that like maybe you wouldn't be a good fit but that's just me why would a person who thinks this way want to get in there anyway i don't

honestly what it seems like and i know what the challenge is it seems like this is just a racist they're just going to rate it went to rate it for no actual like reason other than to be racist because if they really did get rejected i'm just thinking like wow these this school dodged a huge bullet here which they probably knew and they rejected him but yeah yeah wow if this were harvard think of all the equality that would be happening what okay well i guess there's no arguing it makes no sense no no exactly and i think what's maybe worse is that 25 people said it was helpful or gave it a thumbs up why do you care like why does that's what i don't understand either it's like why do

you care this is like this place it's like it's a historically black universe like of course like that's that's and also though from the beginning they've accepted anyone you can't say that about most schools about harvard no yeah exactly so like hello they were well ahead of the game obviously i mean it's baffling absolutely baffling um wow and that's what you ended on huh no just from taylor oh okay i've got more oh okay thank god you said the last one and i just thought oh sorry that was the last one i was reading from taylor you're pulling a me and taylor you're done after that one i'm done taylor you're canceled no thank you taylor for those very helpful um and then i've got uh this is my last email then i have some of my own okay This one is from Katie Sheher who said,

Hi, Schieffer Sibsters. I looked up a few colleges in the Portland area for y'all and found this gem for the challenge. So this is a review of Reed College in Portland, Oregon. My understanding of Reed comes from when I was in high school. Our friend Logan, I think, was looking into it. Okay. And I think that was a school with like underwater basket weaving as an elective.

Sorry, what? It was really... Portland based. It's Portland. Yes, exactly. So I'm like Googling right now. Underwater basket weaving. It was like a whole thing.

And I think it was reed was a school that he was looking into wow it says yeah and i just looked it up so it's actually uh it's an idiom referring pejoratively to supposedly useless or absurd college or university courses but since 1980 reed college in portland has offered an underwater basket weaving class so they're the the founder of this uh or the reason that people created this pejorative no no it's been a it was a term before they offered it oh and then they were like actually let's do it yeah oh i love it we embraced it no and i think that's kind of the vibe they try to give off it seems very like you can make your own major underwater yes exactly

got it so that's the kind of school but anyway this is somewhat of a redemption actually it's a four-star review i got rejected which is okay because my stats were ass lovely campus good education strange people not a big fan of the over liberal hype but eh it's okay their desserts are ass stay away from that evil vegan shit otherwise a great school a little dirty and overrun by students end of review wow they would not have liked their time there i think they probably made a good choice uh letting this person move on to somewhere better because you would not have had a good time my friend and then katie ends her email with for the record i went to read and the desserts are distinctly not ass, also not all vegan.

As someone who works in higher education, sadly, most college campuses are overrun by students these days. Yeah, it's so sad. It's a tragedy, really. The fall animation. Such a goofy thing. I did like that they could admit, like, yeah, yeah, I got rejected, and I deserved it. And, like, it's fine. Everything sucks, but I guess it's still okay it's funny that they like and none of the schools i got rejected to

did i get to try the desserts i don't think oh no maybe one oh yeah i guess if you go for like a tour yeah that's true you might be able to go eat in the cafeteria that's a thing true true true true got me there now it's my turn for my goodies. So this first one I did not apply to. You got in here, I believe. New York University. I sure did, baby. That's my one claim to fame. And I didn't go for some godforsaken reason.

Well, here's what Alan has to say about it. One star. Rejected me. I still cry about her sometimes. End of review. That was me, actually. On the campus tour, I rejected him. I'm so sometimes. End of review. That was me, actually, on the campus tour. I rejected him.

I'm so sorry. Oh, Alan. I like how he personifies NYU. I know. It's pretty sad, actually. Oh, so sad. I had a crush on my NYU tour guide. Oh, really?

Then I found out. I looked him up on Facebook, and he was in a very committed relationship with a man. So, you know, normal story. That sounds about right for you. Pretty standard story in my case. I had a crush on my like GW engineering. I don't know what she was, but she was like the person in charge of the youngins. Like the new.

The youngins. The coming, the new class. The mother goose, if you will. And I remember she was like, these four years are going to be the best years of your life. And I remember thinking, oh God, I hope not hope not and in hindsight i very much hope not okay they already aren't so i guess i can say i got through that made sure that they're not i made sure they wouldn't be um the bar was set pretty low i think for you um i oh my gosh good times here's a one-star review by Gerald.

This is of Dartmouth College, which I have no connection to. Me neither. I don't even know why I picked this. I don't know how I... I think I just searched random school. Oh, I was watching a show, and I think they mentioned Dartmouth, and I was like, let me just Google that quick. Okay.

Anyway, that's how I found this. One star. This school is trash. It's super old, in the middle of nowhere, and they think they're so high and mighty that they don't even read the applications all the way through. The student body is comprised of the luckiest individuals whose apps didn't get tossed by the grumpy admissions monkey

that hadn't eaten yet that day. I'm going to send them a crate full of bananas to feed their admissions employees so that they might actually be able to make some rational decisions. If you're a lucky person or feel like gambling your application fee, this is the school for you. End of review. Wow, I wish I had that confidence to just think,

they must not have read my application. Yeah. That's the only reason they didn't pick it. How come they're so like... They must have been hangry and that's why i didn't get in what also like what did he put in the end of the application that he knows they didn't read to the end like what's at the end of that exactly what like secret joke or comment did you put in there you're like they didn't even get that far i wonder they didn't maybe they had sent a bribe in maybe

and it didn't work out create a bananas bananas. Must not have read my application. But what's amazing with some of these, this one had 18 people gave it a thumbs up. Why? That's. Why? What is up with these? And that's not usual. So many Google reviews I read don't even get thumbs up.

It must be these college ones. People are weirdly passionate and thumbs upping all sorts of things. Maybe it's just all the people who don't get in. Maybe. They're like, yeah, you know what? You're right. It's banned together. and like thumbs upping all sorts of things. Maybe it's just all the people who don't get in. Maybe. They're like, yeah, you know what? You're right. It's banned together.

Well, here's one. This is my last negative one. This is a review by Terrence, one star. This is of Stanford, which is a school I got rejected from. Oof, I didn't even try. I did. I wasn't planning on it. And then I saw it and I was like, this is beyond a reach, but this is the best school I've ever visited in my life.

I remember you coming home and being like, you don't understand what it looked like. No, it was incredible visiting there. I was, let's just say I didn't have any expectations for myself. You were swept off your feet a little bit. But when I went there, I was like, dang, this is nice. I get it. I get it. You still cry over her sometimes.

I do. It was a sculpture garden. It was beautiful. Anyway. Do they have an underwater sculpture class now? No. No. No.

Ugh. Anyway, here's what Terrence has to say. Didn't get in. One star. End of review. Nope. Gave Nick nice and simple. That's the short and sweet to the point.

Yeah. Not helpful to anybody whatsoever. No, it's probably the least useful review ever. And yet three people gave it a thumbs up. You? Maybe they just felt bad. They were like, okay, here's your thumbs up, Terrence. Does this make you feel better?

Yeah, hopefully you get a little notification on your phone that you got a thumbs up. You got some validation from us. We accept you. We accept you in the Google reviews community. Oh, you might be even a local guide someday if you try let me check yeah definitely not yet definitely not yet not yet did he go to other schools and rate them oh i didn't see because that would be interesting i have it like as a screenshot but they only review wrote three reviews so i don't think

probably not i don't think their dreams are to be a local guy. Who knows? Here is one more review. This is a five-star review. And this is, so it's a redemption. And it's a little different because this is not, they're reviewing University of Southern California, another school I got rejected from.

All these California schools. That was my, when I was first applying, I was like, I want to go to California. I didn't want to. And then I did a West Coast trip with Dad and nelsie and i was like holy shit i gotta apply to some of these schools it's so nice out here um and then ended up going on the other side of the country like the other side regretting it and okay i don't regret it but it was miserable and then um yeah and then i went back to california the moment i could your way sort of yeah and then I went back to California the moment I could. You found your way, sort of.

Yeah, and then now I'm in Ohio. Now we're all back in Ohio. Oh, no. It happens. I've come full circle. Maybe I'll be in D.C. next. It happens. Okay.

Let's see. Here's a five-star review. I'm a low-income student who got rejected from every University of California school because of my past horrendous academic performance. I got mature and rebuilt my academics via a community college. USC took me in based on my most current academic merit and gave me the best quality education anyone could ask for. I got to build and launch rockets into space and socialize with NASA engineers. Coming up with new ideas and prototyping it using 3D printers

for free is a new normal. Learning how to operate complex CNC machines in my free time is nothing new. Most importantly, I made lifelong friends and fond memories at USC, i.e. game days, all-nighter stress before project deadlines, etc. Now I'm moving on to my new job as a professional engineer, but USC will forever be a place where I created some of the best memories of my life. Fight on. P.S. If you do not go to USC, you will never understand what makes USC students tick. End of reveal.

You don't understand me. That one at the end was a little aggressive. They were like, you won't understand me. Did you just read the brochure? Like, it sounds like a fucking brochure like i know it sounds like i'm advertising gave me the chance to study my dreams and look at me talking to nasa like what it sounds like true picture on the front of the brochure where they're blasting a rocket with goggles on into space conveniently written right after the whole USC admission scandal and everything. Look at me, a low-income

student. Don't look over there. The full house, Cass. Wow. It is a good school. I did really like that because I think that is something especially nowadays, I feel like there's such an emphasis put on these bigger schools, like

state schools that like, I don't know, if I did it all over again i don't i think i would do things different i would a 100 do things differently i don't think i would go straight to a school like george washington which i it just wasn't for me i didn't do things the way i don't think i was ready in many ways so anyway um so yeah i kind of like that one because that kind of that was so uplifting i'm so glad that you actually did the normal and ended on an actual positive note that's how i'm ending wow wow that was good for you pal did you just call me pal are you calling this reviewer pal

you didn't mean nasa call me when you was like what are you doing well you're just talking about how you glad you glad you were that I ended on a good note and then you say good for you that's the end of the compliment okay okay my bad my bad today you get launch a rocket anywhere you can call me and I'll maybe give you the compliment Tim and I used to like we we built a rocket that we launched um and then as it came down the parachute didn't work and then hit some train tracks and got all fucked up yeah I remember that we're supposed to be able to launch it a bunch of times and we launched it once and i remember that was like an air rocket thing it was expensive too anyway um thank you kendra for that that's why

usb didn't let you in they were like we heard what happened hey and nicole thank you for the dick's last resort everybody this was fun we're actually gonna read the next two themes and challenges to you not read them but tell you them get a pen and paper get ready because uh we're gonna need your reviews as soon as possible yes and we're gonna put these on uh we're gonna do it on twitter right are we committing to that okay because i said last week we were but we didn't actually have any just ignore me from last week yes so yeah i think we've made a promise that we both kind of knew we wouldn't keep but now we're actually going to keep it. And that is to put,

to pin the upcoming theme and challenge for anybody and with a deadline so that you know when to, uh, when to send in any reviews you have. So, yeah. Uh, so I think,

do you read the theme first for next week? So, well, next week, one 35, we already have our theme set. So this is going to be for episode one 36, which comes out June 30th. so this is going to be for episode 136 which comes out june 30th the theme is going to be islands and let me tell you why okay okay so um please tell me why

we got an email from mckenzie they them who said hello she for sibs i just visited catalina island off california this past week. And since it's summer and all, I was thinking it would be a good idea to maybe do a theme of Catalina Island. And honestly, it could be anything on that island because it's so big and so little at the same time. Oh, I looked at that email. I almost used that. So I'm glad you actually found a way to use it. So Mackenzie suggested things on Catalina Island.

I looked at Catalina Island. You can apparently review the whole island. So then I Googled a couple other islands and sure enough there are islands with reviews okay i actually really like that so i thought it would be fun especially with summertime probably lots of people headed to random getaway resort islands uh we can probably find some that have multiple reviews oh i already have a couple ideas what i'm gonna look up and i think i've talked about this a lot but i've been um onina, ended up in the hospital on Catalina. Yeah, that's why I almost used it. I was like, this would fit your heat stroke situation.

It sounds like Mackenzie had a better time. Mackenzie didn't mention anything good that happened on Catalina, but they at least didn't say that they ended up in the hospital. So it was better than my experience. Okay. But it is quite beautiful. The hiking was beautiful. I'd love to go go back someday so this is going to be a fun thing yes perfect our theme is going to be islands okay so that's for 136 right uh-huh uh so the challenge for 136 is actually from the same sonia who actually gave the challenge for the next

episode 135 but it was a totally different email i just happened to click it. So Sonia says, I have another challenge idea for you. Find a review in which the reviewer did not enjoy their experience, but mentions that someone else they know would have enjoyed it. That's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I'm sure we've seen those, but that's something that I wouldn't normally pick up on. I would bring my divorced wife here. What was it? Some other like weirdly insults yeah so that's your challenge for 135 no 136 on june 30th this is why we need to pin this i know oh it's just as much for us as it is for you all um and then we our next episode after that will be 137 july 7th that comes out july 7th uh what is our theme well i'm an idiot and i accidentally

picked um two challenges instead of one challenge yeah i'm telling you i'm still getting used to this i am so sorry um oh here we go okay i have one uh and this is actually because i'm going on a i like how i'm saying it's because even though i picked it four seconds ago, but I'm going to tie it in. I'm going with Renee to on a baby moon to Palm Springs this week. So I'm going to suggest that we do reviews of car rental companies or car rentals in general, because now A, they're all broke and B, they're way double overcharging all the cars. And I don't know, i feel like things could get a little a little haywire hairy hairy yeah perfect that sounds good um your challenge comes from natalie and your challenge is to find a positive common sense media review of a song

with heavy sexual themes or blatant references to drugs or drinking yes my dream this is such a present thank you and um i will make sure that you get the um oh sorry that mine was from claire i should have said that okay yeah mine's from natalie okay yeah and oh natalie also says bonus points if it was written by a highly conservative christian who completely misunderstands what the song is about the dream is about, the dream, which would be the dream, but you know, we'll,

we won't necessarily hold a song or as what is it? A song or a piece of media song. It could be. Yeah, it could be something just very, something either sexual themes or blatant references to drugs or drinking like partying. They specifically brought up my hilarious readings of the two Party Rock Anthem reviews

from the New Year's episode. But some examples, Natalie gave some examples, including Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot. Oh, good. Shots by the famous group Loving My Friends and Others. Loving My Friends and Others. I love that. I love that. So, yeah.

Okay, great. So, we got that. So, we got 136 and 137 ready to go we'll put those uh pinned on twitter and send in whatever you want if you have anything otherwise we will see you yeah and we are probably when are we going to record those when do you get back great question alexander i have no clue so people could know when to okay hi i'm here i'm back to fix alexander's mistakes so this comes out anything i said this episode this comes out the 23rd right no wait hold on yes this comes out this episode that you're listening to comes out comes out the 23rd okay and then the next one comes out the 30th

so this the themes we're giving you are for july 7th and july 14th so stupid so we're gonna record those hopefully on june 28th so we'll post those. So we're going to record those hopefully on June 28th. So we'll post those on Twitter. But you have about until Monday, June 28th, if you want to submit anything. Yeah. And that is the end of our attempt at figuring this out. And I'm so sorry. Y'all, we'll figure this out eventually.

I'm sorry. I thought I was so prepared. I wrote it down. It was like 1.36. Comes out June 30th. I don't know. I just blindly listened to you. Just ignore me, everybody.

All right. Well, we'll see you then someday in the future. Who knows when? Send us an email either way. We'll see you. We love hearing from you. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye.