Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 135: Reviews of Pride Merch

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, welcome to Beachy's Handiwater 2 at the podcast where we are siblings who reach shitty reviews not just any siblings from the internet and not just any internet the world wide web um i'm christine i'm zandy and we're by zandy now what i'm making that a thing i mean it's been a thing obviously but

i think i'm just gonna call myself zandy and professional environment setting um okay good luck with that um i'll try my best to to stick with it uh i'm here to tell you that we are going to be covering pride merchandise oh that that's what it was i think so don't make that face i was like i'm just being annoying yes that was uh a trip that was hard that you were the one who brought it to the table so don't yell at me suzy brought it to the table suzy you monster and suzy even wrote an email a follow-up email did you see it i didn't actually she wrote a follow-up email to say she was struggling to find anything and i'm like well i'm glad that at least she admitted it because it's not so easy is it suzy she literally wrote you'll probably be able to do

better with like than my like limited research and i'm like no i wasn't i i mean i did end up figuring it out but like wow so she suggested a few things like oh maybe people who bought stuff or who are mad that certain places sell pride merch or that like so she gave me some ideas but thank you Susie for at least coming to my rescue in terms of making me feel less alone in my struggles so well happy to hear you didn't have any issues I guess I mean it wasn't it took me a long time but i found things okay good it took me a long time too and my challenge was really difficult um but we'll get there later so oh my god well this might be a short episode

no no i figured it out it just took me a really long time so alexander why don't you i think you probably have more well i don't have that many i don't either but whatever we'll see okay you ready yes this first one this is of the gray skittles have you seen those i saw them on walmart.com slash pride please what is it you did not read reviews of it no i didn't because i thought what does that have to do with pride and i didn't click on it because they're like there's only room for one rainbow during pride month so they take out the rainbow so it's just literally just gray skittles which you know that's the people had all sorts of issues with the fact that they were gray skittles and i love that skittles the company was like

we're already a rainbow we've shot ourselves in the foot by using the rainbow already tasting it already yeah now we should just like rain back all the way get rid of the rainbow that's the way we support it okay i got it well um someone here has a one-star review on walmart.com of the gray Skittles. Titled God's Rainbow. Oh, yikes. See, this is the shit that Susie was like, maybe you'll find. Grateful to God for the first rainbow that reminds the world of his promise to never destroy the world via a flood ever again. Tom. End of review. Was it a one-star review? It was a one again. Tom. End of review.

Was it a one-star review? It was a one-star review. Oh, my God. Oh, no. They left one star. And sorry, was that on Walmart? Walmart.com. See, that's where I saw them, too, but I didn't know what the hell it was.

Wait. Like, why on the Skittles? Because they were offended the funny yeah they were offended i guess that this the whole like sub line of it is like skittles is like there's no other rainbows there's only one room for one rainbow during pride month and it's not gods no it's not for god it's for the gays so you're all gonna drown in a flood now but i love that he gives me a little refresher on sunday school yeah um if nobody knows about fucking noah's ark but i love that he gives me a little refresher on sunday school yeah as if nobody knows about fucking noah's ark but i'm pretty sure rainbows happened and existed before

anyone came up with the idea of god no no no you're am i wrong god invented the rainbow how stupid are you apparently pretty stupid i'm pretty sure it literally says in the bible god gave us a rainbow yeah that was which day was that day four or something god was like the one with the flood alexander and the unicorns didn't make it i don't know if that part's in the bible or not they were too gay and so they couldn't reproduce didn't they you leave the unicorns behind am i making that up yeah i really don't think unicorns are mentioned in the bible i thought you were joking here okay uh i thought this was some weird like joke that i okay but no so no i got all the literally i started typing unicorns into google and it's the first result is unicorns in the bible no second one

is unicorns and rainbows i'm i'm a little concerned either they heard me or they're listening okay there's an animal riem uh-huh as an animal mentioned nine times in the hebrew bible translates to you it has been translated as a unicorn in the king james version i guess but i was right here's the thing noah's ark was filled with animals. Remember? Tell me about Noah's Ark as if I don't know anything about it. Well, you seem to not. Of course I know about Noah's Ark. Well, you're acting like you've never even heard where a rainbow comes from. Christina, I'm not going to go along with this version of where the rainbow comes from.

Yes, but I'm trying to explain to you the storyline. Yes, I know where Tom's head is at. I just disagree with Tom's head right now because it's a stupid thing to be like skittles fuck you god created the rainbow like what okay well i'm glad that we brought we started there because i have a review about queer cowboys famously my favorite type of cowboy i actually this is not a joke i like love the like concept of cowboys like like not in a literal way of like oh oh, you know, people who used to. I just like on a nuts where you drink, I always talk about how ghost cowboys are like my favorite type of ghost. And I don't know why.

It's just a thing that like isn't very common, but it's something that makes me so happy when they're cowboy ghosts. And I think maybe there was a cowboy ghost i saw once i don't know where i'm coming up with this but this is a thing now ready there's a tweet by creative review a verified uh account and i think they talk about different uh things in the arts and they tweeted luke gilford's new photo book is a joyous celebration of America's queer cowboy community. Now, I'm going to show you the greatest picture of all time. Okay. It's two naked men on a horse.

Okay. These are some queer cowboys. I see them, yeah. So basically this entire book is this Luke Guilford fella wrote this awesome book about the queer cowboy community. this awesome book about the queer cowboy community. And it has these like gorgeous photos and how there's like this small intersection of the LGBTQ plus cowboy and cowgirl communities, they call it, that like comes together. And it's obviously not something

that's like a very common intersection. Yeah. I mean, is that like not even making a joke, like Brokeback Mountain, was that based on that? Like I don't, I've never seen it and I don't know. intersection yeah i mean is that like like like not even making a joke but like broke back mountain was that based on that like i i don't i've never seen it and i don't know was broke out based on this like like on that like the community like a real guy i honestly have no idea i'm just curious if it was like based on real people i mean i think it might have been based on a true story but i don't know i like don't know the story at all i don't either i've never seen it uh i was how old

when that came out probably it was a year when people still thought making gay jokes was funny exactly that's why i was bringing that up i remember being like pretty young okay we were 12 i was 12 you were 14 so it was before i could uh okay it was understand the nuance i was in middle school let's just say that let's just say that so this is a comment from Grassy Knoll in response to this new work of art. Grassy Knoll. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting choice of the photos of an astronaut.

So there must, there's a lot of things at play. Some conspiracy things going on. Talk about intersection. Yeah. There's some intersections happening here. Grassy Knoll says, queer cowboys did 9-11 just kidding uh just kidding grassy knoll bush queer cowboy what grassy knoll says these people ruined rainbows for me what's next end of review

i mean i can't look at a rainbow without thinking of these naked cowboys. I'm like, maybe you should do some introspection. That's a, that's a you thing. If you're really disturbed by all these naked cowboys, you keep envisioning in your mind's eye. Maybe you should just read it.

Maybe buy the copy of the book and see what happens. But yeah, so I just thought that was a really unhelpful critique of the book. Incredibly. There's also no rainbows in any of the like rainbows have nothing to do with anything in this uh series so not sure where that came from but if you do have a minute to check out this uh queer cowboy book it's pretty cool the photos are amazing that sounds that sounds good um oh sorry the community is called or one of the people he covers one of the groups is called the international gay rodeo association oh which i was like holy shit i can't believe i've never heard of that so that's pretty that sounds pretty cool yeah um this

reminds me i was recording a human seeking human episode and liz brought up uh allison pontier p-o-n-t-h-i-e-r and she was like have you heard of her and i was like no she's like she's basically a gay cowgirl she's a musician a singer songwriter so um and i listened to one of her songs and like yeah that's like did she ruin rainbows for you yeah i can't look at a rainbow without hearing allison ponti's music sorry to hear that um but yeah i think you'd like her a lot so i already do yeah yeah i can yeah i believe it anyway um wow that was a lot that was good stuff thank you thank you grassy knoll thank you grassy knoll for everything for being terrible okay here is a review this is of Kellogg's Glad Together with Pride Breakfast Cereal Berry Support LGBTQ Fiber 7.8 Ounces.

Wait, what? Barely poorly titled on Walmart's website. It sounds like an Amazon product. Yeah, it literally says breakfast cereal, comma, berry, comma. And then within one comma, two commas, it says support LGBTQ fiber. Like there's no comma between lgbtq and fiber make sure lgbtq folks get enough fiber in their diet so basically it's pride kellogg cereal okay that should have been the way they described it but yeah um here's a one-star review just Just says Christian. End of review.

Yikes. Yikes is right. They gave up. They really fully gave up on trying to explain themselves. They're like, you know why I'm hateful. It's because of my religion. We get it. That's my excuse. There's no point explaining myself anymore.

Oh, my God. You don't need the whole God rainbow thing. You just got gotta say gotta say where i just read the keyword rainbows are over it's very easy to read between the lines here okay i have an email from greta hi greta this was sent in in november of 2019 so a long time ago did your research here but i looked up pride products to see like what existed uh in our email and this is like one of the only things so this is um a sweatshirt amazon brand good threads men's soft cotton crew neck sweater with a large bear logo on it so this is a five-star review and of the sweatshirt color bear, which I guess is just the

type by Ariel. Perfect for bears of all persuasions. Bear emoji, bearded man emoji, bear emoji. This 100% cotton sweaters, huge bear on the front makes it absolutely perfect. Both for all kinds of bears. First, it's a great gift for dad to identify his papa bears. It'd be perfect to wear to a PTA meeting or a child's birthday party or a family Christmas gathering. It's cute and cozy and that cotton fabric is really nice. My boyfriend said he'd totally wear it to his son's choir concert. But I feel like the sweater also has some major potential for a different kind of bear as well kind of more in the daddy bear realm like for pride celebrations

or leather nights it could be a nice outer layer to show your bear affinity it would probably layer great over your favorite harness end of review over your favorite it's quite a spectrum this yeah you know what they started this off saying that it's meant for bears of all persuasions and then truly laid it all out for us quite a spectrum of persuasions and i also love that this is marked as a vine customer review of free product they got this for free they sure did and they were like what do i write about this oh i've got plenty to say bears bears what do i know about bears uh whoa so that's that um i love there's also a photo of a man wearing presumably the boyfriend he's wearing it to the choir concert but i'm not sure wearing it to i can't tell if there's a

harness under it it's hard to tell but wearing it to either the choir concert or the leather night or both. Maybe one after the other. Who's to say? Yeah, I did. Hey, you know what? I like that they were like, just wear it whenever you want.

That's right. It's up to you. So Greta, I know you're probably, I don't know if you're here anymore. This is a long time ago, a year and a half ago, but thank you for sending this way back in the day. This reminds me of something. Speaking of middle school uh i would play like modern warfare like

back in the day on like xbox 360 good times and a former friend's brother would so okay there was a quote in one of the modern warfare games and it was i, in the campaign, whatever. And they would say, we've got a chopper loaded for bear, which is a saying and it's a phrase meaning that you're like ready for to fight, kind of ready for some sort of battle. But he would always say a chopper loaded for hairy gay man every single time. Oh, my God. And it became this weird thing that every single time he had to say that in there and that just like popped in my head you know you get those memories it's like whoa what a strange uh blip of time in your past and i am weirded out that i have not forgotten that

that has not left my head it's weird how some things just tend to stick around in the old noodle to be honest i didn't want that to to stick around. It's not something I was like, I can't wait to bring this up on a podcast 15 years from now. But here I am 15 years later bringing it up to the masses. Middle school still haunts us. Middle school still certainly haunts us. My goodness. That's like all I could think about in response to that review, really. Thank you for sharing.

I'm going to like, like i gotta say something i'm trying to pull this talking stick away from him but he's still trying to read from his computer the problem is what i'm about to read is not much better okay than what i just that story i told all right this is a review of flag link american gay pride flag uh three by five lgbt usa rainbow banner it is an american flag but instead of the red and white stripes it has the pride colored stripes but it still has the stars in the top left okay i've seen something similar yeah well here's a review one star review by desert dog this is disrespectful i have nothing against gay people but to use the american flag that's just disrespectful the strips represent the blood of american soldiers not how gay you are this is just

horrible end of review oh my god but there's so much wrong with that i can't even begin i know okay first of all i love that his phone autocorrects Stripe to strips. That should tell you something about him. Well, because the phone probably knew that the strips do not represent the blood of the American soldier. Bullshit. I think the phone knew what he does on his weekends and they were like, oh, he's trying to say strip.

Okay. As usual. Also, that's certainly not what. That is not true. What Betsy or whatever her name was. Who made the flag that's not right betsy out of this betsy ross yeah betsy ross i don't think that's what she was going for maybe i don't know it's not no it's factually incorrect even i know that and i really

don't know much uh even i know about you know 13 and then 50 and the whole thing um wow but also like this is about soldiers not gay people it's like again if there are queer cowboys i can assure you there are many queers that's they don't not go exactly no that's that's what also that's like probably what bothered me the most the fact that it's like as if it's like impossible this is for our soldiers not for gay people hello like you don't think there are any gay soldiers hello it's just an absurd um distinction to attempt to make um i actually have some that are pretty similar okay let's see if i'm here yet yes i sure am okay so i was really struggling at this point like really struggling so i found

something that i regret finding and this is what happens when people give me difficult tasks and i know i gave this to myself but this is your fault this is my fault and this is what i did i went to walt disney world news today forums which is oh no not another forum it's the worldwide leader in disney parks news forums oh no so i thought cruise people were bad i bet they don't even compare like think of like cruise people plus disney and like that's kind of what happens here there's yeah true there's probably a lot of crossover yeah there's a lot so this is a an article from 2019 that says new rainbow disney collection benefits lgbtq youth non-profit so like basically there's this new line of disney merchandise that you know part of the proceeds go to... My palms are sweating. What?

I'm nervous. Your palms are sweating, yeah. So that's the article, and it had all these great photos, and of course I was like, oh, I wonder what the comments say. Uh-oh. Here we go. This is a comment by S. So is the new woke Disney banking its future

on all those gay couples bringing their children and grandchildren to Disney in the future? Talk about a business model doomed to fail in one generation end of comment oh yikes okay no no no no no okay i'm gonna say when it started though for like in my head i was like oh i wonder if this is critical of the fact they're exploiting pride for money that's what i was thinking which is like what you normally would those are fair absolutely absolutely and i want to say that because like we are not like saying oh like thank good job oh my god if skittles hadn't taken away the different colored skittles i'd be so enraged for for the queer people who listen to our show no yeah so but like then they got into that yikes

yeah so there's that like what i mean why what kind of take is that that's so bizarre oh i don't redeem anything mine could just get worse wait really oh i have actually quite a few redemptions no mine are terrible that's how i coped with this besides disney after the disney thing i had to no mine are all awful great great great you're up next okay um this next one is of uh two-pack texas state-shaped gay pride rainbow flag sticker self-adhesive vinyl decal sticker lgbt texas made in usa this should be about texas not gay people this. So there's only one review. It's a one-star review. Believe it or not, not a verified purchase. Also, is this from Amazon? Of course, yes.

Oh, and for the record, that last one where the person was reviewing the gay pride American flag, also not a verified purchase. Oh, shocking. Believe it or not. Here we go. One star. Disgusting. This is a disgrace toas and everything it stands for and a review oh no which i everything i don't know i don't know what texas stands for i guess homophobia i should send you to not you i should send this well we should send all of us to the

the the queer rodeo or the was it oh God. I already forgot the name of it. I don't know. The International Gay Rodeo Alliance or whatever. Now that. That seems like Texas. Has Texas written all over it, bud. Oh, my goodness. Amazon customer.

Couldn't even use your real name. Yeah. Chicken. Yeah. Man. Yeah, that's a bummer, huh? Yeah. There's nothing redeeming about any of the ones I have. I'm bringing to the table. Okay, Yeah, that's a bummer, huh? Yeah, there's nothing redeeming about any of the ones I'm bringing to the table.

Okay, well, good, because I have some more from Dave C. And Dave C. is an asshole. And Dave C. went on this article about Disney merchandise and decided to make his thoughts known. So here's his main comment, and then I'll read you his responses to other people. So here's his main comment, and then I'll read you his responses to other people. So here's his main comment. I think being proud of who you are is great.

That's the first. That's the beginning. Just take this moment to embrace this peace we feel before everything disintegrates. I mean, if I didn't know what's coming next i'd be like yeah dave you're right okay you can just stop there you really don't have to continue typing dave that's all we that's all you need to say yeah and yet i don't think disney should be going overboard with this rainbow merchandise there are many young children who will be turned

on by the colors and want those products without knowing the true meaning i believe in human rights as well as gay rights oh no oh no i mean dave you're like telling on yourself here so bad okay like are gay people not human i mean this is here human rights and rights. And believe it or not, I also... Believe it or not. I believe in human rights as well as gay rights, but there is a time and place for everything. I don't think the place is in Disney parks. No one fucking asked you, Dave. Literally, Dave, nobody asked you. Thank you.

So Fred responded and said, I think any young child would be happy to have a rainbow Pride Mickey and any parent should be happy that their kid would carry one. Pride items don't mean I am a homosexual. It's pride and choice in your lifestyle. I hope the parks keep expanding this product line and support the causes they're going toward. And then Dave said, don't be so naive. That's it. And then Dave said again again you are so naive in a different comment

like like two separate comments at separate times just where does it i don't know i mean like i understand if it's like you're naive like if you think that like disney isn't like also doing this for marketing whatever but like that's not the issue at hand that's not even the issue like you're just calling them naive because children i guess i just children shouldn't be able to enjoy rainbows because they're connected to pride which i'm like well that's actually a good reason for children to enjoy rainbows like that's not a don't be so naive and then wait take a beat you are so naive i just love the like double comment and there's no other responses it's just him double commenting um and let's see i think that's the only oh here we go there's one more fred himself wrote a separate like his own main comment and it

says this was that good response this was the, yeah. This is so cool to see. I love that their pride merchandise has expanded so much. And Dave C. replied. Don't be so naive. No, I'm just kidding. He said that earlier. I was like, not again. He's just copycasing. Dave, we get it already.

We don't know what naive means. He wrote, Christian. No, he wrote, gay pride should be a personal issue just as if you are straight. I wish Dave could just sit with that and like ponder on it for many many hours and days but wait wait who said that last bit dave so dave said what gay pride should be a personal issue just as if you are straight the problem many people feel is that the gay community is flaunting it and rubbing it into the general population's face all men and women are created equal let's keep it that

way i don't know i don't know don't ask me to explain dave keep it that way keep it i don't think you understand history dave um not even history present day you don't understand i think dave was the one who wrote about how equality true equality is only found at Harvard is the same guy who wrote that review. Can I be so bold as to respond to Dave? Must you? I really need to right now. What? This is really important.

Everyone buckle in. What? This is what I have to say. Dave, you are so naive. That's all. Oh, Dave, you are so naive. That's really what it boils down to read the room dave read the room so i thought it would be fun to get some five star reviews um so and i was like pride i think

so look the two of us um we're straight white people and i think we deserve to be celebrated i see i know you're making a dumb face i don't want to be a part of this so i found some some straight pride merchandise oh fuck me okay because i'm like what could he possibly have done a couple we said pride merch we literally said pride didn't say what kind of pride um stupid okay so two two reviews only and actually these are my last two reviews so you're almost done with me don't worry please tell me they're by dave um no it looks like neither of them is by a dave uh but here's the first product this is white straight conservative, conservative, Christian, offensive, funny shirt. Here is what the shirt says.

It is just a black t-shirt with white letters on it, bold and caps. It says, white, straight, conservative, Christian. How else may I offend you? That's the shirt. So people will actually walk around with that. 52 reviews, a total of four and a half stars. No, no no and then here's the five star review verified purchase no kill me the few the proud gets my point across end of review the few could you imagine actually reading that and being like man i wish it were

the few i am the minority here like this is something that the few and the proud. Yikes. The few. 20 people found this review helpful. Okay. The 20 of them that exist in the world. Yeah. So should I let you go and then I do my other pride?

No, because my next one is more of a... Okay. Because my last two. Okay. Then I'll be done. So you're almost done with me, everybody. Actually, wait. I guess I have... Actually, I can do one in between. Okay. Yeah. Give them a break. Give them a break Then I'll be done. So you're almost done with me, everybody. Actually, wait. I guess I have...

Actually, I can do one in between. Okay. Yeah. Give them a break. Give them a break. I'll give them a positive. So I actually was able to find... I just gave them a positive review.

It was five stars. You did give her a dungeon. You're right. I'm sorry. I found two comments that were... That had no Dave arguing. That were just positive. I just wanted to, on the Disney thing,

throw two positive reviews in here. So these are some positive comments from users. One says, I knew by kindergarten, I like boys. So I don't think it's too young to have a safe and inclusive environment for LGBTQ children. Rainbow flag.

And then another comment by disco rules says my boyfriend and I love to wear our rainbow rainbow emoji, Mickey Disney Parks t-shirts. We each have one of each. So when we wear them together, one of us sports Disneyland, the other Walt Disney World. So those are some nice positive comments

on the WDWNT.com forums. It's good to know that those exist on the WDWNTT. Wait, plus forums? IA plus forums. Okay. You ready? No. Okay.

This one. It says this is from Amazon. Diamond graphics, straight pride, die cut decal bumper sticker for windows, cars, trucks, etc. This says this has a they look like the man and the woman from the bathroom symbols. Like the, you know, holding hands. I know them well. And it's underneath, it says straight pride. Fuck off.

And you put it on your truck or whatever. That's so clever. Here is a five-star review. Don't be offended of my pride. Awesome sticker. Have had so many more positive comments than i had expected oh no non-hateful way to say proud to be straight and tired of having all the alphabet pride being shoved down our throats wish for another sticker to say give back the rainbow

end of review i am closing my computer please do i'm setting it aside everyone you can breathe a sigh of relief because I am done. There's too much fucking toxicity. I am so sorry that I brought those to the table. But it was difficult to find reviews of just general pride merchandise. I feel like the only pride merchandise that had negative, like the ones I found typically were like, the quality is bad. Exactly.

Or it runs big. Which was nice to see. Yes, it's comforting. Because that was the only like only real complaint or you might see someone complaining about it being like a you know like corporate bullshit which is very valid and yeah not that funny because it's like yeah just whatever so what do i do i gotta represent the straights gotta fuck shit up and make us all feel yeah make everyone miserable uh but now it's your job to bring everybody else back up because okay my computer's closed i'm

done i'm glad you've stopped spewing this toxic waste into my home this is uh famously i've i wanted to get into podcasting to uh to promote promote straight agenda straight agenda i need a platform for it because you know just weren't getting our message across just there's too few of you yeah with a few we're very proud but very few of us very few um okay so now i'm gonna end on something actually positive the first one okay so this is on target's website and it's of the pride cat scratch house by boots and barkley why what do you mean why why it's like it's is it actually like a pride have you seen the little house that junie and mooney have i've sent you a photo oh it's a scratch house like they like go in it and oh is it like with like a little door and everything

yeah a little thing okay i was thinking it's just like a scratching thing i didn't know okay a house sorry it's like a it's like a cardboard house didn't catch that word that they go in the little front door and then they like can scratch and like lay in the little house okay and i have one from halloween for junie and mooney and they that's right they sleep they lay in it sometimes but they made a pride one that has, it says love is love. And there's like rainbows on it has little windows and it's very cute. I'm thinking like, just like a scratching thing.

Like those, it has one at the bottom. Yes. Okay. But like, I thought it was just that. No, no,

no. It has that plus a house. There's some weird fucking pride stuff. Like I'm like, there's some really random stuff. I was, this is not what I saw, but I'm trying to think what else I saw,

but should like, you'd see like Pride Tums or something. Okay, I made that one up. No, that probably exists. That probably exists. Like weird things where I'm like, wow, they're really, really pushing here. Like that's where it's like, like you don't even, it doesn't even like look better or anything. Like even the Skittles thing is just like a, it's like very gimmicky. It's just gimmicky and like transparent yeah but this one

was actually cute for you know i it's target i was not like taken by all their you know attempts at pride uh support but this house was very very adorable and it had great reviews and they also had some great pet products they had like a little bandana that said ally for dogs just like cute stuff for parades it was very cute anyway so this house there was one negative review it's a one-star review by target user hate crime had faulty tape collapsed on cat she's fine but she'll never be the same end of review and they gave it three out of five stars for value one out of five stars for quality and five out of five stars for cat likes it so listen one star seemed unfair to me but i guess if it really did affect the cat in

the way they're claiming then maybe I don't blame you. Now the rest, I have two more here. Or no, I think I might have three. And they're redemption. So the first one is a five-star review by General Katten. Obviously did not change that. That is the name. The title is Edith is Living Her Best Life.

Oh, I also have photographic evidence to go along with these for your viewing pleasure. It's absolutely adorable edith loves her new pride palace she's been enjoying a meowmosa as well um what is a meowmosa is that a thing like another product no it's just a word they just made up yeah this is um this is edith oh cute she's so funny edith does look pretty i mean okay pretty not too happy i'm sorry i can't lie to you folks but it's hard to find a picture of a cat where they look happy i've thought about that yesterday i was like i feel like dogs every time they're panting like you could say they're smiling cats don't generally look like they're smiling so you don't pant i guess yeah they just kind of have their mouths closed cats who do pant because they grew up with dogs have you seen that no that's horrifying oh it's cute it's like kittens who were like like tongue out like panting because they see the dogs do it so they've copied it

it's very adorable very adorable so there's edith which i love that the username is general pat catten but then the cat's name is edith clearly an expert general cat and then i guess it's another cat um okay so this is another four star review this time by katie great little house for our very large cat we We have a very large cat, and he just adores these cardboard houses. Sometimes he gets a bit stuck, as others have mentioned. The roof can come off easily. Knowing this, we reinforced it a bit to hold up to our big guy's comings and goings, and as you can see, he is happy as can be.

That's a pretty big door, and the cat gets stuck. Well, look at this cat. Oh. His head is kind is underneath the door. Oh, my gosh. Looks like a wild animal. For people's privacy, I'm not going to post these. But if you all want to go onto Target's website and look up this pride house, there's some

adorable photos. Those are so cute. Like, everyone posted photos with their views. It was so sweet. And if you have your own photos we'd love to oh always please always send them um and this is the last one so this is a five-star review by az kitty cat all these experts these target people who are just cat related usernames hilarious well interestingly this one says my daughter's holland lot bunny

loves this little house i know it was made for cats but it's his favorite little hangout a lot of people i want to have oh isn't that cute bunny i know a lot of people use these houses for bunnies there were several reviews yeah where they were like my bunny loves this little house yeah i want a little rescue bunny there was one where it said the bunny ripped off the roof and then the roof was over here and the bunny was just sitting in a house without a roof anyway it just i was like okay after all this trash about disney and all this business i'm just really happy you probably you probably knew i was gonna come with some bullshit so i fully knew i'm glad i'm glad you i almost asked you if you were

gonna look at apps and then i was like actually i'm not even gonna give him that idea let me grab my phone no you've said you'd put everything away i did okay well that's all I have. You got it easy, folks. You're lucky. So I have my challenge now. Shall we start there? I'm ready for your challenge. Okay, this was from Sonia. And she said, find a review of an attraction about a cryptid or mythical creature like the Leprechaun Museum in Dublin or the Bigfoot Museum in Felton, California, in which the reviewer claims an attraction has inaccurate information about said mythical creature. And in the episode... You said it was difficult, though? con museum in dublin or the bigfoot museum in felton california yes in which the revere claims

an attraction has inaccurate information about said mythical creature and in the episode it was difficult i described it as oh so like this mythical information is wrong my mythical information is correct yes this was so hard oh no because it's just like i don't know it's just something people don't that is a ridiculous concept right it is ridiculous i'm sure people like that exist in the world and have and say that and like correct people but then you narrow it down and there's like the people who write reviews not all those people would write or go for no no go to a place for said cryptid and then even fewer people would actually write a review that even mentions that explains yeah

that even says something like that it was just and even then you can't find every single place so like it's it's yeah as it narrows down it's more difficult i read 42 pages of reviews of the uh i forget which one it was i think it was a a Bigfoot. One of the Bigfoot. There's a lot of Bigfoot museums. But I finally found one here. I have a few reviews. Your only review. Oh. I know.

But I have one that actually like fully accomplishes the challenge. So it's of a place called Expedition Bigfoot, the Sasquatch Museum in Cherry Log, Georgia. And this is a one-star review by Alan. Cherry Log, Georgia? Uh-huh. Geez. I was just in Georgia and I did not pass that place you should have texted me well you kept going to all the dicks last resorts and i was like you gotta like expand a little bit no i like when people make fun of me

i know you brought all your hats with you it's actually i'm too sensitive for that this is one star by alan i have loved anything Bigfoot since I was a child and I thought this place was going to be so cool. It was cool, don't get me wrong, but I had my wife and two girls with me and I was really the only one interested. Which, by the way, that sounds like a you and your family problem, not the museum's

problem. I don't know what the museum has to do with that. No. I had to make it a fast visit. What really ruined it for me was the lady behind the counter. I started to share some thoughts and opinions about some of my own research and things I had seen around the web, and she instantly dismissed them as if they were nothing and I didn't know anything. She also went on to state that she was part of the BFRO, which honestly is nothing to get that excited about. But being a part of an organization that is run by Matt Money Taker,

arrogance and single authority mindsets are prerequisites to become members. Really disappointed with the experience. Also way overpriced for what it has to offer. May go back one day, but likely will stay away. End of review. I have no idea what just happened. I don't either. The BFRO, I'm assuming, is the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.

Because Bigfoot's one word. Yes, that's right. This is the reputable website of BFRO. Okay, okay. It looks exactly how I would picture some sort of cryptid organization's website would look. To clarify, it's.net if you want to check it out. Okay, I was actually, yeah. I was wondering that. so it is quite interesting

maybe was last updated in 2002 but it looks interesting to be honest how much new information can there be about bigfoot maybe you can answer that keeps going on what show that sasquatch show i don't know any sasquatch you know like there's also the one about um the treasure that they never find but it's on like nine seasons now no oh my god what's i have no idea what you're talking about the curse of oak island it's on eight seasons now holy shit and they're just searching for a treasure. How do they fill up episodes? I don't know. I haven't seen her. I don't know. But they do.

I'm picturing the promo for each episode is like, will they finally find it now? And then you'll get it'll like cut to some going looking at something and you don't know. This is a really big break in the case. Yeah. And then in the actual episode, they're gasping because they saw a lizard or something. Not even found anything. Yeah, so there's shows like that, I think, that kind of just keep the mystery alive, you know? Yeah, I mean, exploit the mystery or something.

I mean, yikes. Let me see what the Sasquatch. Bigfoot Captured. I'm not sure what the name of the show is, but anyway. Yeah, I don't know. I think people are just still out there finding stuff, looking at droppings, looking at nests. So Bigfoot nests, that's a thing? Okay.

Also, Alan clearly has his own opinions and research. Yeah, that's a thing. Alan might write into us and say, no, no, no, Bigfoot does not nest. That is a common i'm gonna say i'm dismissing you as if you are nothing and i don't and you don't know anything because that's what happened when he went to i just want to dismiss him one more time he needs to get knocked down he'd be put in his place you know put in his place when it comes to his uh bigfoot research i also love that like she went on to state that she was part of the bfo which honestly is nothing to get that excited about.

Just like. Like literally is being very dismissive of someone else while complaining about being dismissed. And this got like so personal and like, like I feel like he got in the car with his wife and daughters and was like, she's a part of the BFRO. And like clearly he's already said

they don't give a shit about this. And they must be like, oh my God, not again. Well, it sounds like he was expecting this museum to change their views. To take his. To get them onto his side about Bigfoot or at least pique their interest. And so going in, he had these expectations of this museum, which weren't fair. Because if they weren't interested in it when their loved one is that interested in it i don't think a museum is going to change their mind nope nope um so poor alan

is still just stuck with his own research and no one's taking him seriously i'm sorry um so then i went into our inbox and i found some reviews uh so erica actually re-sent this email which was great. It was reviews from the Mothman Museum in Point Pleasant, West Virginia which, fun fact, I may or may not be going to later this year but we'll see. And this is a one-star review by I'm not invited.

Well, you're not even part of the BFRO so it's fine. I'm not giving Matt Money Taker any of my money. This is the one to read by Mark. It wasn't even there. I think he's looking for the Mothman. It's like, does the Mothman come on weekends to sign autographs?

He does signings, yeah. What do you expect? And this is a three star review. Or sorry, a two star review. If Mothman were there, Mothman wouldn't be considered a cryptid, right? Isn't part of being cryptid. So, for example. No, he's a cryptid.

Okay. Okay. No, no, no. I know Mothman is a cryptid, but I actually don't know the exact definition of cryptid, but I assume cryptids are generally. Like mysterious. Yeah. You wouldn't there's not

a hundred percent solid proof mothman walking around and everyone well oh there's mothman he's the local cryptid just hanging out i think the whole point of it is that yes it has some mystere well it's funny you say that because a lot of the reviews were literally like of bigfoot museums and things like that said just not realistic and i'm like what is going to be realistic to you though like it's yeah it's not real stuff like why are you going there to begin with if you're not interested in it they're like it was just plaster cast of footprints and i'm like well what do you want it to be i mean i i don't know what people expect but they were not happy. Okay,

this is a two-star review by Juliet, and it has a response from owner of the Mothman Museum. Drove 200 miles there and 200 home, and my six-year-old said, too bad we had to go that far for that. He said he was disappointed, and I thought, wow, so was I. Never saw any real proof of anything other than superstition, conjecture, or movie props. Still bought him a t-shirt there. Could have been much better. Nice town, nice people, just nothing concrete. Bridge collapsing was just that.

We enjoyed museums much more, but it was a day jaunt than to hillbilly hot dogs. If I had been advised it was just a gag thing, it would have impressed me more. Okay, so they thought, okay. The response from owner is, this is confusing. End of response. My hand was up to my head. I was thinking real hard about that review. I needed to read the response before you said another word.

And I was wondering why you cut me off to read it. Okay, it must be relevant. And sure enough, I feel the same way. Yeah, so there's that um it sounds to me that they went with expectations that would never be able to be fulfilled because it's a mothman so she wanted them to tell her it was all fake gag and then she would have had a good time and been impressed which doesn't't make sense. But her son wanted to go. Why would you drive 200?

It doesn't make any sense. Why would you drive 200 miles for this if you're going to be weirdly negative in this specific way? To be like, wow, I wasn't convinced. Yeah. Again, it's all part of the mystere. I don't know. I feel like with something like this you take it for what it is like yep you can't expect mothman to show up and just hang out this is mothman again

weird um yeah so that's all i have because wow did i struggle and all the negative reviews were basically just kind of other there were a few of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine, which is, I know I've said this before, Portland, Maine's the last place I went before COVID hit for a live show. Did you go there? M went there because M went a day early to Portland. And I just kept getting all these texts that said, oh, they have you in this museum and it would be like

a picture of like some weird horrible creature with like four eyes and every freaking there's like an entire thread of just like hey i found you in this museum and i was on the plane so i got off the plane turn off airplane mode and it was like 16 photos um so m went but those were like they had a lot of negative reviews i guess because like sometimes they the guy just has like 16 photos. So Em went, but those were like, they had a lot of negative reviews, I guess, because sometimes the guy just has Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys in with the Bigfoot stuff, and it just seems kind of like a hodgepodge collection.

But so nothing else that was kind of related to the actual information. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. Sounds like our listeners had a tough time too except for who who sent those let's see uh erica sent the mothman reviews a long time ago um that's tough though i i don't know i'm glad it wasn't my challenge but at least you found some things when i'm there in when i'm there later this year hopefully if i make it work we'll see

you'll write your own review exactly i'll tell you all about my experience meeting mothman you gotta start your research now not that you haven't researched mothman i know you have do you see my stuffy yeah i see it from here yeah very cute actually i know he's so cute um yeah i think you gotta start your research you know really really really bone up so that once you're there you can pick at the tiniest bits of information. Even if it's something... Just unravel all their expertise. Unravel every little thing. That's a great idea.

Something very random. For example, there's this researcher, Mothman researcher, who they say was born on April 12th, 1968. Wrong! And it turns out it was April 11th, 1968. You mix up the time zones. Yeah, something like that. I'll get my facts straight. You gotta find, just nitpick.

I can't wait. So you can write this review, and then we can retroactively edit this episode. Yes. And throw that edit in there. Just really, really, really smoothly insert it in. I can't wait. And then I'll also join the BFro just for shits and giggles and see uh see how that does for me sounds like matt money taker

is making bank off this thing so i might i might try and get on the board in the wrong racket here we should i'm in the wrong racket pivot we could pivot pivot we gotta pivot we gotta pivot we're pivoting to crypt to cryptids yeah y'all uh if you give us money we will uh tell you about mothman if you go to beach2sandy.net you can see all our new newest blog updates yeah you're supposed to withhold that URL until they paid us. Well, I'm going to put one of those construction guys that's jackhammering the ground saying under construction. Little do they know. That's the whole website. Little do they know.

Anyway, thanks for coming by. Thanks everyone for hanging out with us. This is a semi shorter episode than usual. Well, not quite. It's about an hour. But we thank you for being here um we already released the theme and challenges for the next two episodes so i think by the time this comes out we've already submissions will be closed we've already recorded those too so

uh so we're not telling you them again uh so you gotta go to our twitter you gotta go to hsandy where we will hopefully have pinned the themes and challenges for next week. Let's hopefully hope that we did that. So otherwise, uh, we will see you next week. And I, I,

for one can't wait. Am I supposed to say that? I can't wait. I don't know. I can't wait. I guess. Okay. Bye.