Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 153: Rate My Professors

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Please give us some chili peppers, it'd make us so happie! Get your Warning: Contains Sexy Stuff merch here: https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think between you and me i wanted to like this podcast but i'd give it zero stars if i could hello and welcome back to beach to sandy water to wet talk to you christina they've been here every week but thanks for reminding me the name of the show i already forgot um i'm back i'm really nervous you've changed so you should be if i weigh like however many pounds less after I birthed a child, have I changed in other ways as well?

Yeah, just general motherhood. It's a motherhood glow. Oh, God. Yeah. Glow is not the right term. Glow is not. I slept an hour and 45 minutes two nights ago. Oh, no.

So glow is definitely not the right word, but I'm glad you used it. Hello, everybody. We only recorded a couple, well, we recorded a good like month's worth in advance, but we're back. We're back. Now we're doing these two at a time. As regularly scheduled programming, I guess.

And so since we have not been able to prepare you for emails, we came up with themes. Well, Augs Center came up with themes. Well, Alexander came up with things. Today's theme is going to be rate. My professors rate. My professors reviews, whatever we find. We left it pretty wide open after that.

Next week. We're also recording today. So don't send anything in for either of these. We're doing subway stations. Yeah. Is it going to come out next week uh what you can help us with is in my hilarity i thought it would be funny to do a subway stations episode followed by a subway sandwiches episode because that's our level of comedy after not recording for a month it's pretty good and we both liked it so that's a

bad sign great i mean i'm not a good gauge nowadays of what's funny but um he said what if we do he said we could either do subway stations or subway restaurants and i guess we back to back i wrote rmp at the top of my nose today and it took me a solid like eight seconds to figure out what that meant royal not royal mountain police um i didn't even know what that meant when you just said it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right my professor took me like 10 seconds do we have any announcements i feel like we've been gone so long um i oh i did want to say oh i can drink again you can drink again that's. That's fun for me. I also have a girlfriend that you talked about on your other show. Oops.

And she had to tell me that she learned it on your show. Not... That sounds creepy. It was a true crime story. That's why. She found out that I thought that? She found out. No.

No. It's true. And I spilled the beans. Well, here's the thing. it wasn't like it was beans to spill it wasn't like a secret they weren't really spillable beans but i did say it and then alexander texted me like oh you said it before we did and i thought before i said you said it before i could that's right and i initially was like oh no i labeled them to people, to humans who in the 21st century do not want to be labeled and have not labeled themselves. And I have labeled them. But no, what he meant was they have not talked about it publicly yet.

They have talked about it, I guess. We have. It's not like a secret publicly or anything, but like I hadn't mentioned it on the show yet. Gotten ahead with the spin factor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that there's anything to spin, but... Spoiled the news forever. Yeah, which was fine, but it was just funny that you said it on that show

before I could even mention it on this show because we hadn't recorded yet. Oops. And then I found out through her because I don't listen to your show. She does, so... Oh, that's nice of her, though. Yeah.

She's like, oh, that's me. Oh, dear. But yeah. Sorry. So, hi, Dee. Yeah, hi, Dee. heidi also sorry another thing we got emails about uh and tweets also it's not heidi sorry hi i'm not listening to you d-e-e-d yes yes d spelled d that's her name in case you're like what is happening anyway um we also got emails because in our last episode i

talked about uh one of those christian horror halloween things and i was like it's from some show and i guessed it was weeds it is not weeds uh it was from united states of tara so thank you to those of you who reached out to me to let me know because yes that's exactly what i was thinking about everyone's like that is so such old news now friend i guess not because it just came out what just came out never mind let's move that episode okay you go first i'm just gonna go first this is i'm so nervous a review of uc cam riverside cam jesus christ i can't even read okay take two take two give us a clean read um that's not a clean read don't do that stop fleming it up okay i'm very fleming today this is a review of an ochem class and professor at uc riverside okay

the review it's a one quality is one uh and note says awful so here we go she might teach organic chemistry but her teaching style is overly inorganic that's a science pun that's a science joke you have to be in the science world to get it yeah we're actually now a smarter podcast after this past month we actually changed our category to stem i changed it to women in stem just to get you know some some traction um yeah so now that we're but so it's a little highbrow humor i don't know if anybody everybody gets it well we'll uh just trust me that it's hilarious we'll make it a little less intelligent for the rest of you though in a moment don't worry yeah as christina reads her stuff it's the highbrow is over okay um so this is of course i did that thing where i like found a listicle of some people's

fate like people's favorite right my professor reviews and stuff and so this was one i have uh i think one or two i have a couple from there and the website was that i hate that i have to say that sometimes when i'm looking at my source and it's something really dumb like friend that's why you drink i'm like can i find this on another source because this one's called like i'm trying to think of something dumb um well epic lols.com shit like that and it's like a true crime fact and i'm like this is not like responsible journalism but i guess it's not really the same uh stakes here but the website is cheeseburger with a z yes you remember that it's a meme site i did not realize it still existed and um it does good and people have

really fun wholesome chats in the comments so you know for what it's worth it's kind of maintained some what naivete from the 2000 oh so actually i thought you were like being sarcastic no no i thought you were implying it's some sort of weird cesspool no no i mean the rate my press are listicle people were commenting like that's a good one and it had like 32 upvotes and that was the top comment and i was like wow this is a nice place in the internet that i'd like to remain um did they say like xd that was an epic fail lols what was your thing epic lols which unfortunately probably exists i'm sorry to the creator i'm sorry i'm so sorry we called it a shitty source or whatever i said

i typed in epic lols oh my god alex, it's available for only $2,695. Should we buy it? There's someone out there who wants it. It's not me, though. Do we have the funds in our bank account? Nope. Okay, that's a bummer. That's all right.

Okay, give me your epic lull. Okay, here's one. He seems happy and teaches well, but there's just something off about him that I can't put my finger on. He smiles, but there's no warmth there. Just a terrible emptiness like you'd find in the rusting hull of a ship. What? Sorry. I'm not used to doing this anymore.

Just a terrible emptiness like you'd find in the rusting hull of a ship forgotten at the bottom of a dead sea. Something happened to him to make him this way. I do not know what it was. No one does. End of review. No one? How do you know that no one does? We took a poll.

Unless this is a character you created, how would you know what other people know? I always wonder if people are in creative writing classes when they write reviews that are really dramatic. But this one actually would be much more spot on if it were someone in a creative writing class. Because it could be that teacher. Oh, so, okay. I wonder in general when on Yelp somebody writes a really fantastical review. And I'm like, who are they trying to impress? Their creative writing professor? And here this might actually be the case like in a literal way well this would this would tell me all i need to know about how i shouldn't take this

creative writing class if this is what comes out of it that is true how do you describe a sea is dead like the dead sea i was literally wondering that's weirdly bothering me so much because like you don't say a dead sea like what does that mean does that mean that like waters are calm yeah like a lowercase life is in it i don't know i don't get it either why is there a ship in it at the bottom i don't know sea is full of life i watched nova once amen yeah amen anyway save our turtles okay but eradicate all ocean worms also while you're you and your fucking ocean worms don't forget while you're saving the turtles i've forgotten to simultaneously eradicate i'm voting

for cincinnati city council 2024 cincinnati mayor on tomorrow i'm gonna write you in you don't even live in ohio but i'm writing you in that's a new pork i'm like who i thought i'm like wait wait that's not on the ballot i was looking at i thought i'd have a better chance here oh you know yeah start smaller no offense mayor jadushi but got it you should be like a write-in i am oh god um weirdly you could probably do like if you i don't know i can't imagine that many people are voting in kentucky okay here i did no not because i believe in you it's because i don't believe in everyone else okay my next one is some psychology class uh providence college in rhode island we gave uh

one and a half out of five you can do that that's fun apparently i bet there's some sort of out of five you can do that that's fine apparently i bet there's some sort of system i'd wonder if there are things you can uh and then it gives the average i see yes but i don't know maybe i'm just making that up here's the psychology class review i heard the rumors about him as a bad professor and decided to take him anyway worst decision of my life even worse than when i didn't wait an hour to go swimming after eating he tells jokes that make you want to punch babies no lie he has ruined the topic for me single handedly even when he's wrong he thinks he's right don't do it end of review wow that is a a damning one might say review yes yes of a psychology class oh my god your your

that your your psyche is sounds like it's in tatters it is in tatters and honestly like that's on you dude they literally said i heard about how shitty it was but i did it anyway worst decision ever like dumbest decision ever yeah you did this to yourself you did yeah and if you allow that to ruin the topic for you i i mean i don't know there's the thing is there's no real description of how it's bad like if if if if this person's jokes babies literally literally what do you say no lie literally if you admit like yeah this person's jokes made it made me want to punch babies you're just telling on yourself that something's wrong

with you psychologically actually maybe this wasn't a psych class maybe this is like an experiment to see what kind of jokes it took to get people to punch babies they're all waiting on rate my professors all the people who are working on this experiment and they get this review and they all cheer they're like yes we did we found the the formula we found that using using jokes from cheeseburger.com and we finally can give up our domain epic lulz and make 2700 off it uh pay off this research project yeah i meant like he's in like a psychiatric unit somewhere and he doesn't really get it but but your thing's better psych experiment i did those in college because they'd be like on others

yeah nobody knew no they still don't this is your you're admitting to your like your crimes against humanity like the stanford prison experiment you did your own version the american university prison just lock your roommates in there in the room for hours and hours is like yeah that actually happened um but she got stockholm syndrome that's why she's dating m now she couldn't get too far away from me she tried she went all the way to africa to get away from you that's fair yeah i don't blame her for that one um yes i did have to do those experiments but it was for because i was in a psych class and we were required to participate in like two studies or whatever it doesn't seem very ethical it doesn't does it now that i say it out loud that's a requirement yeah you have to like whatever was going on like they

didn't have they said oh like go look at the notice board you have to pick one only the prison experiment this semester um i'm pretty sure we were required to how many experimental drugs did you take oh god like i'm taking now or it took then i continue to take oh continue from then experiment oh dear god sorry i'm sorry i'm unhinged uh the end um yeah anyway not a great story i just took some of those where you sat on a computer and it would like flash pictures and you like click a certain way. Anyway, I don't remember what it was. It was fun. It's like when you watch those streamers or something and you can have them track their

eyeballs. Oh, yeah. Have you seen those? That's creepy. And they look at like boobs. And they get caught in that and all the chat's freaking out like, oh, I caught you. You got caught. Caught in 4K or whatever.

You've looked at boobs. and i'm like oh i caught you you got caught caught in 4k or whatever you've looked at boobs if uh i love that we've put technology to such great ease in this modern age yeah yeah all right your turn i think if anyone needs a subject looking at boobs subject yeah let us know because apparently someone here has experience with those kinds of things yeah it's me okay okay um i have another review here um now i don't have the name of what this is okay sorry to flanfo who likes to oh yeah oh i i purposefully uh you can just use everything up okay because Cause this list, you'll find it. This listicle didn't have the actual, like they tried to keep the privacy, you know,

she like found things where you didn't include any. She's found them before. I like to send her on an adventure. That's what it is. Okay, here we go. This is all in capitals. Worst class ever.

He is the devil. He called me the devil, impossible greater, loses loses papers drinks too much smells and likes to call himself le grand blanc what i don't know how to say that but the great white i think that's what that means okay hopefully like that's a shark ah yeah i hope i hope because it could have other implications that are not so friendly no not really i love that he likes to maybe it's a french class no maybe i don't know but i why the great white yeah i don't know if you're white and you're calling yourself the great white and even if you mean shark i well that's why he does it in french to make it less incriminating okay but

he did call the student the devil. It takes one to know one. He called him the white devil. The white devil. Now it explains a lot. It takes one to know one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they said, oh, this teacher's the devil.

He called me the devil. He is the devil. He called me the devil. It's like, wait, wait, wait. Who did it first? Either way, they're probably both right. Yeah. But it's not fair.

Like, if someone calls you an insult you can't be like well now you're that same insult like that's they got it to you first you have to say it in a more clever way like i'm rubber you are glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you oh my god that's so clever did you just come i did i did thank you no wonder they call you careful careful careful oh drinks too much also by the way this guy yeah how do you know that like out of a flask or something maybe joking around about how much they're drinking because they're really depressed or something maybe he's an impossible grader maybe he spills it yeah um this one reminds me over the weekend i went with um d and then a big group of

my friends and we went to go climbing in west virginia new river gorge and we were at the wall and i don't remember the content context at all but um i said uh i was like oh yeah like quite vigilant i was talking about myself like being vigilant i don't know what it was but i said quite vigilant and everyone just kind of stared at me funny what what like why and then like thankfully someone said like white vigilant and i'm like no not white and then they were like we thought you're saying like white vigilance or something like really like scarily where did you get that torch oh my god i'm like no no no yeah so that's what that quite vigil you were saying like the most nerdy thing ever and

they were like wow you're really okay good i'm making this like scarily racial and yeah i'm glad you were not in like a tour group of people who didn't know you or something we were in west virginia i would have been fine oh that's fair's fair. I'm just kidding. West Virginia, you were a lovely place to be. I'm pretty sure they were part of the North, the Great North. I have no idea. The Great White North. But people are going to definitely email us about that. Yeah, because they seceded from Virginia to become part of the Great White North.

Oh, really? Yeah. The Great White North. Why do you keep saying Great White North? Stop it. That's where the RMP lives. Oh, got it. Okay, that makes sense.

Okay. Now, this one was sent can i go now oh yeah no sure fine i guess if you must it is my turn right great white you just did your whole great white thing yeah i just told a dumb story so i wanted to go next i'm just kidding uh no you're not. This is a review of Broward College in Fort Lauderdale. This is of, I don't know, what the fuck, the ENC 1101. Enconomics. English composition, I'm not sure. Enconomics. It's not that important.

Okay, here we go. She was actually terrible as a teacher i believe she was very undermining it was always her way or the highway you were never right she's as understanding as a nazi ss officer in a concentration camp wouldn't understand i have family to support financially do not take her course and oh my god oh yeah she calls herself sorry i'm done with that joke i'm so sorry um wow again again if you have to compare what you're going through to anything remotely related to the holocaust yeah you're wrong you're not in the right here in a bad

position you should not be doing that why don't you just say like hey she didn't understand about my financial thing yes that gets the point it really does i don't need to know about the nazi thing and it makes it so much more i don't know like i didn't this sounds so mean but i didn't care that they had a financial issue. The moment that they said compared their plight to the plight of Jews during the Holocaust. Hang on. Are you this economics teacher? Because that's the only reason you wouldn't care.

That's it. You got me. Cold hearted. You got me. I'm an expert in economics. Truly, though, you don't have to say that if you just remove that middle part or just say the end she wasn't understanding she whatever and then go on it would have been it wouldn't have made this show did you get my joke what did you say i ignored it you said remove the middle part i said what the end i'm so sorry i just said it and then like i felt like someone was gonna hear it

we needed to address it i'm so glad you did thank you um but you're right that was troubling and i'm really troubled by how many people keep referencing you know white white supremacy. Wait, I guess there's only one. I think it's just been you. I'm sorry. Me. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. And this reviewer. And this economics class. Okay. So this was sent in by Sarah, actually. I searched our inbox to see if anybody. Alexander's having a moment with Gio. I'll let them take a second.

He's so happy and smiling. He just wants a lot of attention lately for obvious reasons. Okay, so this was sent in to us by Sarah. By the way, a ton of people had requested this topic. Oh, thank you, everyone. Thank you to you all. And this is a review of... It just says BPS022 which uh you said was political i haven't come up with anything

better in this past 20 minutes political science is two words no i know economics is economics doesn't have an end let's just say it's economics. It's economics 2.0. This is a review and it also says awful. He is a jerk. He tells you to be to class but wastes your time. That's W-A-I-S-T-S. Of course. Yep. But wastes your time because he talks about nothing.

Oh, here we go. Micromatics is a joke. What's that? Are you asking me? That's definitely not the first thing that came to mind when I heard BPS. Micromatics? It's BPS Micromatics. Micromatics is a joke.

Oh, yeah. And he makes you buy it. You have no choice. It's not listed in the course description that it's mandatory and you get charged by paypal every for every dollar it tries to charge your card by the way it's and english class okay so it's a wait a couple things and overview and i we went through a lot to figure out what kind of class this was only to find out in the sentence i'm sorry the review tells us okay it's an english class that makes you purchase micromatics are those things is that a specific textbook i think it's

a currency you think it's a curve oh so oh professor's currency but he invented yeah yeah um because you get charged by pay paul paul yeah you have to pay paul for it and the problem is that's not a real website it's much like epic lulz.com it's kind of been used to scam this class to scam this class yeah to purchase uh some sort of coin or something called micromatics that's right got it oh my god i forgot what's going on but there were almost every word was misspelled yeah so it's not a spelling and there's there's a lot of things that i could it is an english class it is an english and english and english there there were so many words that i couldn't even

tell you which what you know that they were misspellings because it was the wrong version of it's or the wrong version of there or whatever but truly every sentence had a some sort of english error um so that last sentence by the way it's pretty good well speaking of misspellings i do have one of an english class at Winona State University in Minnesota. Okay. One. You can't take a worse professor than this. She is rude, arrogant, hypocritical, and boring. Critical of hippos. Hypocritical. That's extremely.

If this were a zoology class, she'd be in big trouble. Stupid. That was it. i loved it though thank you when i think of all the english classes i could have taken i hate myself for taking hers the readings were challenging and could have been fun but she took the good and made it bad no terrible yeah that is called a thesaurus use good use of a thesaurus there yeah um goodness i mean it's very you can see like the angst of these college students like seeps out i hate myself for taking this class that's like exactly wow i hate myself for lots of reasons but not because of specific english. There's plenty of worse reasons or better reasons. You hear that?

She thinks that you should hate yourself for other reasons, everybody. No, no, I'm talking about my personal experience. Oh, I see, I see, I see. There's plenty of classes I regret taking, but I wouldn't say it. Well, there's one or two. I actually looked up a professor that made one of my semesters a living hell. And I was just proud to say people agreed with me good good yeah and i was like glad that's not just me that would have felt a little bit

disturbing um to look back on but there was nothing amusing it was just kind of triggered my anxiety a little bit i don't think i could handle that it was the only class i ever dropped out of like and that was also only one nice well i mean from my experience i'm like that's pretty good i'm pretty sure that's the only class i ever dropped out of in like a way that was not a lot like in it wasn't like in a waiting period or anything like i just was like i'm not doing this anymore i was in grad school and it was the reason i started taking klonopin oh i was like i can't keep having panic attacks in class and so i had to go see a psychiatrist oh no i thought i thought that was a study a psychology

study you did it was klonopin was new on the market yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that makes sense i was the first test subject back then it was called clon shit i was gonna put an n in it like economics but there's already an n in it yeah i had to see wow it was called clonopin with two n's clononopin clononopin that's the one that i tested it didn't go well so they didn't okay i'm sorry i'm just gonna. Okay. Is it your turn? It's my, your turn. It's my turn. Okay.

So this is another review. It is also awful. Oh. And I'm not going to tell you the class because you'll see. It's our mom's class? No. No, no. Although this man is a terrific trombone player,

he is a terrible person and I hate him. End of review. Please tell me this is for a music class. I'm guessing it's for a music class. Once again, it doesn't tell me. I hope so. But I didn't want to say, I'm pretty sure this is for some sort of musical class.

I hope it's not. But you're right. It would be fun if it were like zoology or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, he's a terrific, you can't fault him for that. Hey, at least you can admire other people's abilities. Gifts and talents.

While also knocking them down a peg or two. Yeah, hating them. Yeah, that's, you know, that's how we all strive, what we all strive to be as adults just write shitty reviews about people yeah and also play the trombone that makes sense that's more of like a low-kept secret of mine but yeah i guess we can not anymore not anymore um my next one is of siena college this is and i looked up how to say this but it's i forget loudonville new york l-o-u-d-o-n-v-i-l-e loudon county virginia

so there you go let's just go for it i usually am so this is of an accounting class it looks like and they gave it a one i would rather deep throat a cactus than take a class taught by this moron again quiz every class you read each chapter in synopsis and do the homework before the lecture. And put your pens away while he lectures because, quote, note-taking should have been done before class. Horrible teacher. End of review. You have to do...

What is it? You have to do the homework before the... Yeah. You read each chapter in synopsis and do the homework before he lectures. Well, that... Oh. Well, that. Oh, wait, that is weird. I don't understand what that means. But also, yeah, note taking should have been done before class.

What does that even mean? You can't. He knows that. I'm not a fan of that. He knows everyone's a doodler. Big doodlers. Who? Just in the class.

So they have to put their pens away. Put those pens away. You can take your phone and iPad out, but put that pen away. Yeah i can't be doodler doodling um i had a class where we had to do that where everything was like online and then he would just give kind of a lecture but it wasn't like the everything was based on what was online yeah we should take notes outside of class it was really weird this was in 2013 so i'm trying to think like if my classes, cause that's when I was, you know,

in your prime, I guess that we did have things like that. Yeah. Like I didn't go to the class once and I was only, I was one of 15 people to get an a out of the whole. Nice. Yeah. He had a terrible rate.

My professor, cause the class had like 80 people. Jeez. But I got an a, so i was pleased so yeah so you gave it a five out of five uh good times i had a terrible college experience so what nice i just had a terrible college experience yeah i didn't like love it either but yours was probably worse um that's okay that's okay i was in there we made it look at me now mom like how look how far you've come a podcaster you're back in ohio i mean i am too help me so okay i have worse you're back in

kentucky oh god yeah but i'm running for mayor so you know true true true i'm going to unseat mayor jaduli oh i just realized you're gonna get a knock on your door in a minute careful it's honestly it's like a family affair here everybody in the italian families here are very serious about their political standing and also i keep saying his name wrong because it's jaduli not jadadushi. So my bad. You're saying, don't call him Jadushi. I just realized. Big trouble. I kept calling him that.

I'm so sorry. It was an accident. They're big fans of the podcast. Not anymore. Okay, I have one here. This is another awful. And it's a one. I don't wear my seatbelt driving to school because I want to die before I can make it to this class.

Jesus. And do a review. Why are these all so dramatic? I'm telling you. Because college sucks. College does suck. Like, we were dramatic. We had a terrible time.

Well, again, yours was probably worse. I'm not trying to steal your thunder. But I feel like I had every reason to be dramatic like that, but I wasn't going on Rate My Professors and causing a scene. You weren't like unbuckling your seatbelt and being like, take me void. No, I was just like on like benches in the middle of DC crying on bus stop benches and then going for late 3am walks when I really shouldn't have been just walking around. Yeah, maybe not.

You know, things like that. Just crying a lot so i didn't really have the energy to do a rate my professor's complaint well i invited you as you did yeah to my to to what to my prison experience and you never showed up i gave you an out that could have changed everything i'm telling you i gave you an out. That could have changed everything. I'm telling you, I gave you an out. It's like every five minutes the door opens and it's like a little Klonopin sitting there. Would you like to take the Klonopin now? No.

After 10 hours. It's just a Klononopin. Oh, the Klononopin back then. Yeah. You just hoarded them from your other one. You're like, I'm going to do another experiment with these oh my god all the other participants were mice they were like how did she get in here anyway okay um i'm sorry is it my turn i don't even know what just happened yeah because this person wants to unbuckle oh my god i forgot uh here's a review of uh university of minnesota twin cities this is a

i feel like this looks like something i should know um oh it's calculus too okay yeah you know calculus one you should definitely know that but it's cscl i. Okay. Yeah, you definitely... Oh, no, Calculus 1. You should definitely know that. But it's C-S-C-L. I feel like it should be C-L-C-S. It's Calculus, not Casculus. It's Caculous. Cascul. Calculus. Calculus.

Calculus. Why is it C-S? Is it... Oh, C-S? Computer Science Calculus or something? Okay, I'm... It's C-S-C-L. Oh, I'm...

Yeah, I lost the script there. They just messed it up. Okay. Anyway. One. One. One quality. I don't know what to call it. I keep just saying one. It does not matter how

hard you try in this class. I just can't seem to stick my head up my butt far enough to understand this nuisance. Do not take this class as you will probably want to drop out of college after taking it. Lectures are very abstract and TA's grade harder than in my calc 2 class and a review oh my goodness they like i'm sticking up but yeah also stick it up your own butt isn't it like don't you say someone stuck their head up someone else's butt

i mean one doesn't one doesn't say any professor stuck his head up the else's butt i mean one doesn't one doesn't say any professor stuck his head up the ta's butt no i think yeah you say someone else's head is up their own butt oh up their own butt yeah he's got his head so far up his ass yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what you say chomp on his stomach yeah that sounds right maybe not that last bit but you mean so far up his ass he can't understand this nuisance yeah yeah so this person's saying i he it's as if he's like i'm trying i'm trying to be an asshole stick my head far up my butt but i just can't get far enough this nuisance is too extreme yeah so this is like a a fresh take on that saying what a hot take it is it is hot yeah it's hot indeed um oh it's stomach acid calculus one i was a ta yeah yeah i looked at my

uh i looked to see if i was on there but i wasn't oh which thank god that would be bad yeah it wouldn't mean not that you did a bad job i just mean like that could that would be because like i don't know all of these things it's like being a professor like kind of sucks for so many people there's a lot of pressure i feel like and just teaching in general you know you didn't very few teachers get paid what they're supposed to get paid and are appreciated the way they're supposed to be appreciated so the fact that a site exists you can like talk about how much you want to die instead of taking this class like yeah that doesn't weigh well on you no and to call your professor like an ss officer it's like wow that's a little extreme yeah just a little bit i mean you know yeah i feel like it's just not fair it's not fair it's not fair okay well i have um a redemption oh yeah so this is of a lab i don't know what lab

it's of a lab it's a lab okay and now the first sentence i hate labs so you hate labs i hated labs because i actually had to go to them. Instead of just sitting in my dorm eating Doritos and drinking Mountain Dew for hours and crying for two weeks at a time. I'd actually have to get out and go because otherwise I'd actually fail. Yeah. Well, look at you. You didn't fail. Or did you? Yeah, I did.

I'm sure I failed classes. Oh, okay. I dropped out of many. I left multiple schools in the end, too. Well, that I remember. Yeah. Anyway. Wow.

I have a bachelor's. Cool. Listen, you got through it, and we're so proud of you. Did that sound sincere? Not at all. I meant it. Thank you. Here is a review.

Now, the first sentence I need to be clear is alternating caps locks like like each letter yes each letter oh yes like it's that spongebob mocking mocking meme exactly uh so it's like capital lowercase capital lowercase each letter joe is the best lab prof everest? Okay. Okay. It sounds like someone's away message. So they're saying this sarcastically. No. Oh, you said this is a redemption.

Yes. I forgot. But it's okay because one would read that and be like, wow, this person's being sarcastic. Yes, I would. Yet, no, they are not. Which makes it worse. Even though you told me already this is a positive review. It's hard to believe.

I immediately assumed this was sarcasm. Because of the meme and stuff. It's usually people mocking other people. So it's that with four exclamation points. And it clearly autocorrected Ever to Everest, which they didn't seem to mind. Wait, is Everest alternating caps? No, that one's all capitals. So clearly the phone was like, I finally figured out what you're trying to do here.

And she's like, nope, you cannot figure me out, Samsung. Okay, now here. Sorry, I don't know. I don't know. So that sentence is alternating caps, but the rest of it is all lowercase. And usually like U is spelled with a you like it looks like someone's eighth grade away message and by someone i mean me okay joe is the best lab prof everest he's fun smart helps you out never gets frustrated no matter how many

questions you ask him and how many times you screw up my experiments always turned yellow haha like how many experiments did you do that had color i guess it must be a chemistry i hope it's a chemistry lab i kind of hope not if it's turning colors it's not supposed to that's dangerous but like what if it's psych like that can't be good either no things are turning colors if it's turning colors it's not supposed to that's dangerous but like what if it's psych like that can't be good either no things are turning colors that's true i mean you know that's a good point good here as a stem podcast i can assure you you don't need things to be turning yellow no matter how many times you screw up my experiments always turned yellow haha he's the best you should so take him parentheses i gave you hot joe be happy

i'm a funny girl with also happy is spelled h-a-p-p-i-e what i gave you hot joe be happy i'm a funny girl with a funny face and a funny personality smiley face i think someone has a crush and yeah eighth grade status it's me on this person the aim away message or something yeah the smiley face is even an equal sign with the parentheses oh yeah god you know it's really frightening i haven't seen that in a while yeah also like i gave you hot joe be happy joe's like oh no oh no not again this girl's getting me in trouble i got my chili pepper by my name and i don't want it yeah they don't by the way everyone they don't do that anymore yeah they took the

chili pepper off yeah hot is not an option anymore which probably for the best i i think so what a weird addition when you really think about it it's kind of yuck oh no yeah extremely yuck yeah yeah it's not good yeah that's kind of doesn't that like kind of defeat the purpose of i don't know some people look reviews like he sucks but he's fun to look at and stuff like that so i guess it weighs into people's decisions um i just really quickly when i get revisit this last line i'm a funny girl with a funny face and a funny personality why did you put funny face that's not good maybe it's self-aware she's like you know who i am i talk about my funny face that's true these are yeah you do i love you say that's true right as i say um careful people are saying that leona looks like me so be nice to be nice to my face because

apparently it's her face too that cracks me me up. No, but these are anonymous. So maybe she was like, I'll give you a hint. No, yeah, the hint was I think the yellow. My experiments all turned yellow. Because it was probably a running joke or something. It's like, look, my yellow, my yellow thing. Haha, it's yellow again. And then just as like a sidebar, she was like, also, if you you don't remember i'm the one with the funny face maybe yes okay um also maybe he said hey you have a funny face so she's like oh okay whatever

says is true that's how he knows me yeah so anyway that's the best prof love lab prof everest joe yeah he's uh it, all of it is too much. So it's your turn now. I hope they're all very happy. Me too. This next one is not a redemption. This is a very negative one, but they gave it a three. And I don't understand, three out of five.

So it's definitely not a redemption. And this is probably the worst one. Oh. And yet it's a three so i'm very confused uh but this is from montclair state university in new jersey for class it just says perception it says a full word perception so i don't know if that's the name of the class that's cool um this is and this was written in 2006 so back when hot was a thing on this site. So you'll see that's relevant.

Yeah. Here we go. Oh, he is so hot. If being hot is a ridiculous pain in your ass. His class is a reincarnation of Auschwitz. When they lined up the Jews for eye gouging. Stay away or he'll turn you into stone. End of review.

Oh my God. See, I knew we were going there. Remember when I said I hate all these people bringing it up and then you were like only one person. I feel like I sensed it from your dumb phone resonating outward. That's horrible. I may or may not have a confession. This is not me.

I did not write this. I was like, don't say it, please. This is awful. Absolutely awful. But I figured stuff like this would happen. of a confession this is not me i did not write this i was like don't say it please absolutely awful but um i figured stuff like this would happen so i in my search wonderful searching my keywords here it was site colon uh-huh rate my professors dot com because it's plural rate my professors that was something that i realized yeah oh shit i just gave you hell for pluralizing i'm pretty sure it's rate my professors i don't think it is check i'm like pretty sure it's not

fuck yep it's rmp actually oh it's rmp sorry nobody knows it doesn't even matter nobody knows it is rate my professors.com p.ca what rmp.ca like canada yeah canada you know goes to a different school you wouldn't know rmp royal mounted police oh my god you're no your jokes are just too layered i just can't keep up so sorry give me time to ease into recording again i'm so sorry anyway so i would do site colon rate my professors.com and then in quotations, things like Auschwitz, because I thought, huh, if someone's mentioning that, it's usually not a good thing. The worst is when it just like so works and you're like, wow, I know people too well. Because you go through and you just do like random schools, you do random things.

It's hard to do it randomly. You're reading them and you're like, yeah, these professors sound like they suck. Or you're like, well, oh, look, these are all positive. These professors seem great. There's nothing that. Or it's like the homework's hard. Okay. Yeah.

Good for you. Very middle of the road stuff. But yeah, that was my worst one. Do you have any more? Because I have. No, that was my redemption. That was it. I do have a couple of redemptions.

Fantastic. Dee gave me a great idea because I was doing these while we were in west virginia together um uh and uh i don't know how much i should talk about like her personal life and what she she told me no no she told me to look up uh specifically she mentioned quest love taught a class at nyu really yes why don't you tell me and i'll talk about it on that's why i feel like that's a better way to go about this. Just keep tradition going. So I'll say so

That's cool. Yeah. And I couldn't find any reviews of Questlove. Boo. But I did find reviews of James Franco who taught a film class at NYU. Yes. They are redemptions. I'm not saying anything positive about James Franco here. I'm just saying this is just what people wrote about in his uh his film class is he the one who teaches perception because

i feel like that would be his fucking class that's about right right um uh i will say though the rate my professors for james franco it was overrun by like fans. Ew. So. What are people doing? Anyone who like had a critical thing to say was like given a ton of thumbs downs. So it was like someone who was like, I didn't know who this was and the class isn't that great. Like I didn't like, he's clearly busy with other things.

Like he's, so this, this felt, I didn't really learn much. So they somehow got into the class without even knowing who you, cause I feel like that would be a horribly hard class to get into i think you're right you'd be if you were on the waiting list and then this person who didn't even know who james franco was like got into the class yeah well that's probably why they got so many down votes so yeah

well there are a lot of people who are critical of the class they were very understanding because they were like yes i'm aware like they knew they're like i'm aware he's in lots of movies he's very busy this is not his normal job but i wish i could have gotten a little bit more help or i wish i could have um been able to communicate with him more about like the assignments or whatever so it was all pretty reasonable but then uh but, here's a couple. I have two redemptions. Very positive ones. So this one was a five. Awesome. It says film 704. He's a good professor and he's a good Spider-Man professor.

End of review. Oh, okay. Ultimate compliment. I mean, James Franco was in Spider-Man, was not Spider-Man. But he was in he was in spider-man right okay i'm glad it wasn't just me not understanding and then like at the bottom there are three different things and says respected inspirational hilarious apparently you can choose keywords that fit hilarious indeed yeah very funny i feel like he wouldn't be hilarious like not in a bad way but just because i i imagine he took this very seriously you know like i i think that he's a very i don't think he's like

joking or joshing around yeah i'm just being i mean maybe what do i know this isn't like school of rock where it's like god you know this isn't jack black said daniels wow jack daniels i got booze on the break wow okay uh okay and then here's one who's uh uh gave it a four i enjoyed his class immensely except every time we met to discuss my assignments he would just cry for the duration of our meeting and then tell me i could let myself out like every time maybe it was a performance art piece i was like something shia labeouf would do i was gonna say but yeah no i don't know i don't know how i assume that's not real i know but like the worst part is that we don't even know like we're like we assume it's not real but like how do you really know exactly like do you like if it were

real i wouldn't be shocked exactly exactly that's a good one i never even thought to look up like famous people on there that's so smart meanwhile i googled myself and it was like no results so sad so sad yeah i never got enough education to warrant having a rate my professor's account believe it or not yeah me neither apparently so womp womp womp womp is right well that was fun that was fun now we have to do another one yeah now i mean now we get to do yeah be nice i'm trying to be positive here yeah so next week you'll hear reviews of subway stations fun uh don't send anything in for those because uh we have already recorded it by the time you're hearing this uh but yeah send us reviews of your favorite subway sandwiches locations or whatever yeah um i think

it's the most second most um second biggest fast food chain really in the world after mcdonald's really well that makes sense because i was trying to google like thailand's subway or like korea subway and it was like subway in korea and i was like no no no i don't need the sandwich shop yet yeah it was i'll look at it next week yeah so yeah that doesn't make sense yeah and it's it's hard i mean when there's so many locations it is sometimes hard to find the best reviews so because you have to wade through all of the just normal ones because each location is going to have so many. So we want you to do it.

We want you to do the work. Just kidding. But if you do have some in mind, you can send them in at beach to Sandy at gmail.com. Yeah. We'll see you there. Well, we'll see you first at the subway stop. Yes. And then we'll meet you for some sandwiches. Yay.