Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 159: Holiday Reviews

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Gather round as we try to figure out the true meaning behind Mensch on the Bench. Check out Xandy's TikTok lighthouse adventures: https://tiktok.com/@xandyschiefer Get your Warning: Contains Sexy Stuff merch here: https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. And if you're just joining us, we're live from Evan's living room. It looks like Evan is about to purchase tickets to today's match. Kate, the real test is, will he use the BMO Toronto FC cashback MasterCard? Well, if he wants to earn cashback on his purchases, he will, and... Oh, hang on. He's at the computer with his card, he's done it. Clicky click magic trick. The clicker around the room. You guys just about finished. Sorry, we got excited. Thanks for snagging those tickets. Make every purchase highlight worthy with the BMO Toronto FC cash back master card. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beachy Sandy Water Too Wet. I almost said the other podcast again. You're still on that one? No, I'm not on that one anymore, but I've been kicked off. Yeah. Well, temporarily. I'm on there. You are more on there these days than I am.

That's true. I think by the time this one comes out, my first episode will have been released. Yeah, this is when we can announce Alexander is the new guest host of And That's Why We Drink. I had so much fun yeah em said it was a blast i'm so excited to listen i'm like to the eva episodes and now i'm i'm excited for yours i've seen the feedback on the eva episodes and because i'm nerd i'm like on the that's why i drink subreddit and i like i'm on the facebook pages whatever he's lurking guys i'm always lurking i tell her everything um no not everything thank god i hide certain things yeah he knows what i can handle and what i know i know better but no i i'm

i'm a little nervous because i'm i hadn't listened to it in a long time so i didn't know how it worked and your job of talking about that kind of stuff uh that was stressful i didn't know how to approach it it was terrible super awkward huh yeah yeah eva did one episode and she just kept being like i'm sorry i don't know it's terrible i'm like i wouldn't i wouldn't blame people if they came at me not at me but came like messaged me like hey you could have handled this better but i tried i tried my best a minefield but not even in a way of like ugh i people are so demanding it's like oh i need to figure out how to best approach a million different things yeah so many tragedies and like very sensitive things and they're all so nuanced everything anyway it's

just like this show pretty much it's just like it's like the same tragedy that's why when uh our lovely manager maggie was like oh wait are you still doing beach you sandy right now even though you're not doing that's why i drink and i was like that's a whole different thing like that's a different vibe a different that's a happy thing that's like a doesn't necessarily doesn't keep you up at night you're not like having nightmares about karens and whatnot fox i might maybe yeah fox yes no like i'll be breastfeeding in the middle of the night and be like uh looking up reviews of ornaments and i'm like this is so different than like researching

a serial killer while i'm like feeding my child so different vibes but anyway so i'm very excited to hear your episodes i had a blast the fourth episode in particular touches on one of my favorite um recent obsessions you'll you'll understand so i'm and it was i don't want to spoil anything it was so much fun it was so much fun i had a blast the december episode so get ready yeah i'm just kind of on the outskirts looking in nowadays let me have my 15 minutes oh i'm excited you're gonna have way more than 15 minutes okay Okay, my four hours or so. No, it was great. But we've got something more important to do today, which is talk about the holidays. The holidays and get Christmas out of the room. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did a good job of keeping Christmas out.

I did too, I think. I don't really know what I was doing. Good. Even though this was my suggestion. Excellent. But yeah, do you want to go first thank you for asking because then if based on what you say maybe i'll be like oh i'll delete these because this isn't this is not the way i should have been i don't know if you want to base what you do off me um but i actually did want to start because i have a couple things to read here or or tell everybody this is from holidayscalendar.com and it's just a couple a couple different holidays

that are not christmas to give you oh an idea of some of the things i will be discussing not discussing but like reading reviews of so i got uh like what holidays did you i had some kwanzaa in there okay some hanukkah okay cool and some Starbucks holiday cups oh excellent that's a great that's a good uh yeah most wonderful time of the year yeah well I have um some winter solstice oh so god oh you did see you did this better I tried to well again I do this other show where I have to be so nuanced and careful so I tried to spread it out here we got winter solstice that's december 21st and according to holidayscalendar.com the winter solstice for most people is an astronomical event that tells them they've reached the winter season so it's the shortest day of the

year and the longest night and then after that the days start getting longer and so a lot of cultures regard this day as a mystical day and a time for rebirth and so nowadays a lot of modern paganism practitioners uh celebrate it as sort of like a winter holiday that's not religious cool i didn't realize that then there's yule which is a different thing oh and a different thing from christmas have to do with the tides sort of no it does not i don't know why it's called that um did not look that one up but it's from december 21st to january 1st it's a traditional germanic winter festival celebrated on the winter solstice and uh it runs for about two months which doesn't make sense because it says it's december 21st listen

don't listen to that part don't listen to that part. Don't listen to that part. Apparently, that's what Christmas kind of absorbed was Yule, and that's why they're kind of combined. But modern neo-pagans and Wiccans have resurrected the holiday, and it's growing in popularity. Famously at Kings Island. Every year they do Kings Island Winterfest. They do? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Totally pagan, right? they do yeah oh yeah that's totally pagan right mason ohio is the most uh forward thinking neo-paganism you know a hot spot if you will when i was like winterfest winterfest isn't that what the king's island does every year they also do fright fest that might be something that's something we should be celebrating um okay interesting i didn't know that kwanzaa don't say too much about kwanzaa oh Oh, okay. I'll do a little bit. You can add to it after my review. Can I just say what it is or not? No.

No, okay. Because it's very relevant to one of my reviews. Got it. We'll discuss Kwanzaa later. Hanukkah, can I describe what that is? I'll allow it. Okay. It's a Jewish holiday that celebrates the liberation of Jerusalem from the occupation

of Antiochus IV. Or is that going to be in one of your reviews? Of the Seleucid Empire? He wrote some reviews. Oh, did he? I read some of those. They were not pretty. No, that was Antiochus III. They did not age well, I will say that. Uh-oh. And that was in 165 BCE, and some of the traditions include gift-giving, eating fried foods, listening to music, and playing with dreidels. Don't know why we celebrate christmas we should all just be like no we shouldn't all celebrate hanukkah that's you know i don't want to appropriate hanukkah here but it sounds pretty good it's what a fun time um and then i mean yeah you think about

christmas like i mean a man comes down the chimney the only thing is going to mass ew church i mean gross damn but like yeah i mean yeah i don't know anyway there's no dreidels involved it's really and chocolate money i don't really do we get chocolate money no no that's oh that's a hanukkah thing gelt oh wow you've learned okay this is good i'm glad you did the legwork here well that one i knew because it's chocolate related but that was an old fun fact but then last one that i do end up touching on is chinese new year which is also known as spring festival and is one of the most important if not the most important celebration in chinese culture

it's surrounds 15 days and there's a myriad of festivities and uh observed traditions that occur this year 2022 it'll be february 1st is the lunar new year and do you have a do you know what the new year is the year of the which animal um i'm gonna go with dragon or is that no but good guess shoot was that a good guess i don't know it was a guess tiger year of the tiger bengals are winning the Super Bowl. I had that exact thought. I was like, it's our year, finally. Okay, calling it now.

Joe Burrell is leading. Do you like that I just said I don't want to appropriate any of these holidays? And then I was like, this one's for me and my football team. Okay, but I've been talking to people, I think mainly Dee about this. Because I've, you know, football've uh you know football season i love football season i fancy football etc so i watch all the games and i'm constantly watching them but the most ridiculous thing this is true of any sport i think this is maybe rude but when they pray and like when they do the sign of the cross or something and they like it feels like, oh, good. God is letting me beat this other team.

Oh, I think the other team is like also praying. So it's like, is it just whoever prays more wins? That's what I think about all the time. Oh, I'm praying that like we win, take home this victory. And I'm like, isn't the other team also praying? Yeah. But to play devil's advocate, I'm sure a lot of it is like, I thank God for my ability to be able to do this or whatever. It's not just like, oh, I hit this single in baseball.

I hit this single because God let me. And the devil's advocate is also involved there. So that might be. Yeah. And then fans, too, are like, oh, praying for my team to win. Things like that. I'm just like, why? Alex Hedner, I think about that all the time. Right? isn't that something that's just been on my mind anyway everyone's like please

what are we on today show y'all if you've made it this far like this is gonna be one of my favorite episodes i'm so excited for this episode and to keep you in it don't forget that my challenge this week was to find reviews that mention our names or names of loved ones and it is as weird as you think oh i'm so excited it is as weird as you think so get ready for that that's it's worth it it's worth it all right so do you want me to read one even though i just did all this yeah please okay so my first uh review is actually wait do you want me to do my kwanzaa absolutely let me do my kwanzaa? Absolutely. Let me do my Kwanzaa. Do your Kwanzaa thing. Spoilers. This is a review that I found of Lucrist.

Lucrist. L-U-C-H-R-I-S-T. Okay. It's a clothing accessories home decor store in Bellingham, Washington. Okay. Here's a one-star review followed by another reviewer's response to this so a reviewer one reviewer left a one star review another reviewer left a five star review in response to the one star gotcha what's it's not an owner response but it's a redemption so here's what lucy has to say one star came in

to ask if they sold kwanzaa themed items the The employee replied with, what's Kwanzaa? For a store that's supposed to be modern African, they sure didn't know much about African traditions. End of review. Okay. Here is the response by, uh, Isabel. Five stars. What did I say that person's name was? Lucy. Lucy doesn't know what she's talking about kwanzaa isn't an african tradition it's an african-american one the owners of lucrest are african so why in the world would they know or care about a tradition that is not only not theirs but not based off of traditions in the country they are from girl and for you girl i could say more, but I won't. And to be totally honest, I don't think I realized that.

And it's true. I did. Kwanzaa is an annual celebration of African American culture. It's from December 26th to January 1st. And then. I'm. You want to. I'm double.

No, I'm double checking that you're correct with. Oh, OK. Good. Good. Good. Facts here. It was. It is based off ofan harvest festivals in various parts of africa including west and southeast and was started in 1966 amazing yeah i knew a little bit about kwanzaa just probably because one day i googled it and went on a little research trip myself but

i didn't know too much about it but yeah and this year it's december 26th through january 1st for anyone who's wondering awesome okay so my first product here is mensch on a bench nice oh so smart i can't believe i didn't look those up they are fun it's basically it's the jewish comeback to elf on a shelf where a rabbi sits on a bench. And, you know, it's sort of like the same. It's kind of a joke on the tradition of Elf on a Shelf, which don't get me started on that. We should do reviews of that someday. That would be terrifying.

Of Elf on a Shelf. Of Elf on a Shelf, yeah. No. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Yeah, maybe too scary, too scary. Okay, so I have a review here, and this is by Stephen, and it's a one-star review of Mench on the Bench, and this is on Amazon.

The real meaning of Mench on the Bench, by the way, spelled wrong, M-E-N-T-C-H. Oh. I was very disappointed that this Mench, M-E-N-C-H, so also wrong. I was very disappointed that this mensch m-e-n-c-h so also wrong i was very disappointed that this mensch on the bench did not look like the many who exemplify being a mensch on a bench like ruth bader ginsburg for example what so they just wanted like a ruth bader gader Ginsburg on a bench. A literal mench on a bench. They didn't want. An opportunity to educate children about the real meaning of mench on the bench was missed.

End of review. What is the real meaning of mench on the bench? Now I'm like, I feel like we're missing something after this one. I was reading this like, what are you talking about? Also, they spelled mench wrong twice in two different ways and spelled ruth bader ginsburg wrong so i'm like i don't know if i really want to trust your viewpoint here but i don't know i don't totally get what the real meaning of mention about i mean i guess if you're there's a book so like it's it does come with a little book it's based on the book whatever the book is talking about i well doesn't the book accompany the character like i think it's the same thing sure like i'm saying like i'm saying they're probably in referring to whatever's the the real meaning behind it is probably something in the book that we're missing perhaps but i mean isn't that it comes with the book so i feel like it it would give you that meaning if you bought this thing i don't know i see but but maybe this if this character the mensch if the

mensch were actually just ruth bader ginsburg maybe it would make more sense maybe who knows maybe the book's talking all about like the judicial system it's the judiciary it's all about that's all it is oh god yeah so i yeah they're like elf on the shelf is too fun and whimsical we're gonna teach you about the justice system or they're just like making like a joke about like the bench like in the courtroom well i think that's what he means is like oh that's a literal mention which just the real meaning of something doesn't necessarily mean the literal version of it like i don't think that's but like literally this mensch is sitting on a bench like it is quite literal enough yeah it's literal enough for me i don't know what's going on

but 11 people found it helpful so i would like to speak to those 11 people spoke to some people my next one is of a starbucks uh in sunnyvale california and i went here and i know it's not quite a holiday uh but in some people's eyes it is when starbucks has the holiday absolutely um and i read on the subreddit someone who had been working for the past six years at starbucks said that this felt like the worst of the holiday cup release this year yeah this year as in like how people were acting yeah oh well um which i can only Yeah. And I can't imagine getting any better, you know, over the years. So, yeah. So shout out to all you baristas.

Yeah. Who are dealing with all that bullshit. I mean, it's like every day I'm on that subreddit and there's a new thing that I'm like, I can't believe someone did that. Yeah. People and the fact that we're still saying I can't believe someone did that shows how bad it gets. True. Because we do some really bad things in Starbucks. No.

That's not what I meant. Okay things in starbucks okay here we go here we go this is a one-star review by rachel i ordered a holiday drink but they refused to put my drink in a red holiday cup i asked for it but the lady said no because she has to use up the regular cups first even though they have plenty of red cups end of review oh my god that's like what for what for an instagram post literally yes no yeah i really think so that's just so annoying i don't know people and like this year this was actually that one was from last year so like that was just their i think that wasn't a reusable one like they have these reusable holiday cups yeah that people are like waiting in line and go crazy for and i'll get really they've checked multiple starbucks it's like black friday type shit where they like drive to all these different places wait in line wait in line just to try to get a cup um and i can't imagine working on those days

um i can't imagine working any day at starbucks no i would not be cut out for that job i can tell you that much I don't know what I would do I think I would cry and just give them the cup and then get fired probably because I'm such a baby I don't think I'd be able to stand up for myself Also, one quick tip

maybe this is hopefully a gift to some Starbucks employees when you're in drive-thru and you get to your window this has never happened to me and they say oh the car in front of you paid for you like it's one of those chains where they pass it i'm terrified of that you know what you should do what say okay how much was mine they tell you and then you put that much in the tip jar and you tip the employees you don't keep the chain going you just give that money that you would have paid for your drink and put it in the tip jar or tip through your app and give that money to the i love that because like such a kind way to do it i read about that on the subreddit like people suggested doing that and that's such

a smart ideas andy it seems like the thing to do so yeah so if you're come across that or you know what if you do want to keep it going keep it going but maybe also tip them too but i've never understood that so do you say how do you know what the person bought so like one person will say hi like i will pay for my own and then the car behind me behind me right and then you go up and then they say oh the person in front of you covered would you like to keep it going and then but like how did they pay for if they don't know what like i'm so confused the orders have already been placed because it's like a constant drive-through line it's not like i ordered for an entire set of people in los angeles yeah then you're fucked then like you then or the person then no no you get lucky then if you're the one who ordered well sure yeah yeah then someone's like or you can probably just be like how much was the ones

behind and if it's like 50 and you okay, I'm not paying for that. I'm not that nice. Jeez. Okay. I always wondered because I was like, do they just give them their credit card and say like, open bar for whoever's behind me? But no. I think they say how much was the one behind me.

And they have the orders and they're like, oh, can I pay for the order behind me as well? Okay. And it is a kind thing. But also like, it doesn't help the baristas out who are like dealing with all the bullshit i'm far too socially awkward anyway just just a little tip i love that idea um why has that never happened to me i don't know right yeah i say that i'm like i've never been in this situation to actually do that but i'm like i'm very nervous for it but i want it to happen so i can do that i think that's a great idea um okay so next i have uh a yule uh exciting can you remind me what yule is again which one was it

was this a winter fest this was winter fest uh it's a germanic winter festival yes uh that occurs during uh yuletide so this is a book it's called the old magic of christmas yuletide traditions for the darkest days of the year uh this is by linda rad's called The Old Magic of Christmas, Yuletide Traditions for the Darkest Days of the Year. This is by Linda Radish. So it literally has Christmas in the title? Yes. Yes, but that's because the Yule traditions are what Christmas absorbed to become Christmas. I understand.

So it's the old magic of Christmas. Oh, I see. Okay, that's different. Good. Like what Christmas took and stole and made for itself. Bastardized, yes. Bastardized, correct. So this was in the occult and paranormal section of Amazon Books.

Okay, which is really funny because there's one step away from what we do, like what people do who are quote unquote like against that kind of stuff. Oh, I thought you meant me as a job. I was like, yes yes that's exactly right i'm saying like it's it's yeah it's just one step away from like occurring christmas traditions and probably have a lot of crossovers christianity probably does not want to be associated with the occult and paranormal section of amazon books but you're right like there's a crossover there but i just wanted to do a shameless plug real quick because my book is also in the occult and paranormal section and i

was like and it's number one wasn't it number one it was number one it was number one in um supernaturalism and ghosts and hauntings i love it uh so you know i wrote a book you can go check it out uh i made a bitly link just for fun oh what is it bit.ly slash a haunted road atlas so if you want to do a pre-order it comes out in may this is my little um pitch yeah go check your local bookstores oh yeah i saw like a lot of the local cincinnati ones a lot of local ones in new york i saw telling them it's fantastic we're trying to we're trying to promote more small indie bookstores as part of this but you know if you put an order i'd be so grateful but anyway back to linda's book this isn't about me this is a one-star review by stephanie and the title is poorly researched and definitely

not wiccan pagan oriented oh and it's a verified purchase at first i thought this book had promise it brought out some old information about elves and fairies that most people don't know it was listed as a wiccan pagan book that's why i bought it then miss radish dove deeply into christian beliefs and stayed there through the rest of the book that was enough to offend the sensibilities of any good pagan slash wiccan such as myself i attempted to contact her through facebook to interview her for a freelance article and she ignored my request for an interview and friendship. Oh no. Okay, so you should have left that last bit out because now this author seems very personal. It does. It was. I would say she really has no idea how to treat the media, especially someone of her own belief structure. If you want to read a childish book about the boogeyman, then go ahead and buy buy it but if you're looking for an in-depth book about the intricacies and traditions of the

celebrations of yule you would be barking up the wrong tree to buy this book end of review wow i just yeah that part i was like huh that like they threw that in there like as if that doesn't clearly show that they they are going about this the wrong way i was like and to be fair like i never check my facebook messenger and if somebody who doesn't isn't friends with you online that happened it goes into a folder that you don't see and talk about that like that happened to you where there was a very important message in your facebook messenger oh yes that we didn't see like of somebody that we were doing like a business like yes exactly and it was very late it was late because months later i checked it was like oh shit and it was like oh god thank goodness they were patient and kind yes thank god very nice thank god some people are yeah

but like we understandably like that was probably frustrating for them so uh but yeah i facebook she didn't accept her request for friendship and um just really fucking weird. Don't do that. Don't do that to people you... Like, if you're trying to interview them like that. Like, that's not the right way to do that. And also, I would not want to do an interview either if you were like, this is a terrible book and I hate it. Yeah, what? I'd like to interview you and also be your friend.

So. Here come the carrots making their way upfield, followed by the whole wheat bread, over to the two dozen eggs. Sir, do you do this every time? Sorry, I've been a little excited ever since I got this BMO Toronto FC cashback mastercard. Oh, and the broccoli boots it over the line.

What a goal! How would you like to pay, sir? Credit, please. Make every purchase a win with the BMO Toronto FC cashback mastercard with up to five percent cash back on your purchases in your first three months terms and conditions apply oh my gosh um so my next one is of uh the north carolina arboretum in ashville north carolina uh this is on tripadvisor so it's titled Overpriced. Their username

is Jesus C. It's like Jesus Christ. And you might be thinking, oh, what if their name is just Jesus? Let me read the review. Or Jesus. Let me read the review. One star. I was so looking forward to going to this with family and out of

town friends. There's no theme or music in this for 20 i expected more than a block of lights hanukkah candles and no nativity scene they need to respect all religions or none very dissatisfied with everything about this place here's a picture of the best thing about this place other than this you are not missing much only good thing is the friendly staff and like the picture they included i can't really show you too well there's like very clear like christmas tree with like a star at the top oh my god and it's like beautiful lights a lot all the trees have different lights on them and they have like mini trees with lights

and like a big thing it's backwards i can't tell what it says but in lights like it looks pretty it's at the arboretum like a lot of pretty lights and yes a very large christmas tree and they're like mad that it was they had i they had quote hanukkah candles like dear god yeah god forbid god forbid uh here's the thing i am loving his idea though respect all religion or all holidays or religions religions or none. And I'm like, what an angle. He didn't know what he's saying because like that means Christmas goodbye. Like that's not 99% of places only celebrate Christianity.

Exactly. That's what's so wild is like. I'm like, OK, so now we don't do anything. You would hear that from the other. Like that's the thing is like they're they're being like that self-aware wolf kind of thing where they're like this is what people on the other side of it would say because they're so it's only makes sense the other direction yeah that like most people on the other side are the ones who aren't christian saying i'm being persecuted as a christian which is yeah like because there's

not enough decorations for me which which is like, wow. In a fucking country where all of the laws for terrible reasons, not all, but many, are based on your fucking religion. And there's a big Christmas tree, but that's not enough. He wants a manger. Fucking nativity scene. He wants a nativity scene. Yikes.

I mean, what a, can you imagine? He's like, it's an arboretum, right? Yes. He's crawling around through the trees and they're like, what are you doing? He's looking nativity scene. Yikes. I mean, what a... Can you imagine? He's like, it's an arboretum, right? Yes. He's crawling around through the trees and they're like, what are you doing? He's looking for the manger. It's got to be here somewhere. Oh my God. Yikes.

Well, I'm moving on to Chinese New Year here. On orientaltrading.com of all websites. What is that? Orientaltrading? Yeah. Oh my gosh. You don't get those catalogs no oh i do uh they sell go to oriental trading.com you will see you'll know it when you see it it's like is this um reminds me of like world market sounds like uh not quite what the hell is this i don't know what this is what we used to get these catalogs when we were kids and look through them and like i mean there's an option for religious christmas

and it says 200 plus nativity pageant essentials oh god and there's like a mary and a joseph and then like three their children dressed with mary joseph and then like a donkey, a cow, and a camel. Okay. What is happening, Christina? Scroll down. Look around it. How did they get that name for their business? Exeter.

That I don't know. I don't know if I want to know because I'm not going to like it. Where am I scrolling to? I'm trying to think of the best way. Help and FAQ. I could use some help. Here. I'll describe it. I could use some help here i'll describe it

i could use some i have some frequently asked questions here oriental trading company is a direct merchant of value-priced party supplies arts and crafts toys novelties and school supplies um oh it was founded in 1932 that's how they got the name got it got it um but so they sell like for example like spider rings and they sell like 50 packs. That's not what I thought you would say. Like Halloween, they sell like. It's like bulk. Yeah.

Yeah. Party supplies and kind of like little things. Kazoos. I don't know. Shit that like. A lot of religious stuff. Well. I'm surprised.

Like there's graphic tees. And then like one of the options is Jesus is the reason for the season oh dear god um but some like cute things they sell like craft kits and like birthday party supplies they have a happy birthday with little raccoon they have like a bajillion different things for like parties if you get the catalog they have like a section for like prom and you can i will not get the catalog oh but i found the chinese new year section okay that's the one that i was uh hanging out in which with the name oriental trading again really this is not this is a bad off to a great off to a great start so uh i have a three-star review of something called the chinese new year temple backdrop which is like uh i mean basically like a mural type this

is terrible i'm all i'm hating this but i know it's gonna be great reviews somebody said they used it for their mahjong event uh this she's like the ladies and i set it up for our mahjong game this is like they should just change their name to like cultural appropriation.com i know like this is wild i'm going through some of these christina this is yikes um so i have a three-star view by kathy verified purchaser the title of the review is kathy also the reviewer spelled kathy wrong uh her name her username is spelled wrong okay it's spelled cafe with an a in it but then she writes her name is kathy so i think she misspelled her own

username i'm sorry there's chinese new year fortune cookie headband this is terrible okay sorry continue okay so like can you imagine like where did you get that oriental training oh no why would why why oh no um so this is a three-star view by kathy it is good it is good it is good it is good why do i need 50 words okay that's so funny so she gave it a five star in theory but yeah had to drop it for this asinine rule that you need 50 characters to submit a review which on yelp is also very irritating i i respect that um that the review was still submitted i also love that she didn't copy and paste she typed it out because you can tell that spacing and the exclamations are different on each one so she really just kept typing it is good

until it left she hasn't figured out her how to spell her name on a computer. That's true. Copy and paste is next level. I'm expecting a lot. You're right. You're right. God damn it, Kathy. I love that.

I knew it was going to be good. Kathy! Anyone who reviews something on that website, especially in that section, it's going to be good. Okay. My next one is of Brent's delicatessen and restaurant this is in Westlake Village California uh this is a two-star review on TripAdvisor so the title is uh this deli can't make a decent potato latke latke right okay phew um so here we go here's what Neil has to say what kind of kosher deli can't make a

decent potato latke on hanukkah answer brent's in westlake we just got back from an early dinner there brisket sandwich okay mushroom barley soup good sky high corned beef sandwich dry side of potato salad no taste just hard potatoes and mayo that's off to a bad start that paints a picture that i don't like oh no it's like the mayo that they give you in school like the packets you just drizzle that on top of the potatoes now the piece de resistance we decided this being hanukkah to order a side of mini potato pancakes faster than a speeding bullet in about 30 seconds. A plate of six hockey pucks arrived. No exaggeration.

These were six round hard discs. I tried one and this tasted like it had been dropped into the deep fryer two or three times. Obviously it was pre-burnt. When the waitress cleaned off the table she just ignored the five hard discs still sitting on the plate she must be used to it by now my wife complained to the manager that it was inedible he replied all our customers love them save your stomach the tums end of review oh no oh no neil no exaggeration no impossible literal hockey there would never be exaggeration in a trip advisor review um i like the little uh the little kind of

saucy attitude of it's hanukkah should we should we splurge on a couple little potato it is hanukkah it's a holiday like i just love that kind of like should we do it even though we already got a sky-high roast yeah he's got all this other gross stuff like why don't we splurge a little let's be let's be naughty yeah I and also like dropped it at the deep fryer two or three times that sounds good just keep dropping it isn't I thought like you said fried foods for Hanukkah I feel like that yes it's part of the tradition according to exactly what you're supposed to be getting holidays calendar.com says that is authentic okay that's my source that's my source my bibliography is a holiday and oriental trading dot com those are my two sources oh my god uh do you think when they said dropped in the

deep prayer like the guy trying to scoop it out kept dropping it like oh no whoops in the deep fryer like the guy trying to scoop it out kept dropping it like oh no whoops yes this is going another round whoops everywhere and the manager's like no no everyone loves it like this uh we just don't know how our fry cook just doesn't know how to it was just like some lucky accident that turned into like their their it's like how they invented the post-it that's how they invented the lock cut i have a book about it and silly putty too right and silly putty that was an accident that's right that's true yeah and then i think original like french fries too or something so another potato yeah that's actually part of the jewish tradition yeah brent's delicatessen tell the story of how latkes accidentally fell into a fryer three times

yeah in west lake village i had a beautiful story okay next up i have like the prequel to mention on the bench okay anyway i'm done by the way with those oh and that was quick but don't worry i've got plenty of challenges oh dear god well i have a few more here this is a review of a book called the solstice badger i'm here's the thing i'm into that when you get into kind of the more obscure i say obscure in the best possible way holidays where they're just not as commercialized and popularized you find some really kind of random nods to the event so i would gift that to leona over like the christmas the Christmas reindeer or something.

I don't know. Yeah. The solstice badger. The solstice badger. That sounds fantastic. It's very cute. I don't, I obviously have not read it, but it looks fun. It's a children's book about this.

I was going to read the description, but it's like 10 sentences. I'm not going to read that. But it's a children's book about the sun's role in the winter solstice and how it's kind of like a legend of how the sun got its wings and the badger got its wings. So here is a two-star review by Lance. And I don't know what else to tell you except I'm just going to tell you what it says. The book is great great but there is a 2020 bruce springsteen calendar printed directly in the center of the book end of review what now

there's a photograph no on one page there is a beautiful illustration of a snow-covered squirrel on a branch as leaves fall and snow falls behind him. And directly opposite on the page is an American flag Bruce Springsteen calendar. Oh my god, that is hilarious. And it says, Bruce Springsteen 2020 calendar, the boss's milestones. So that's just literally the whole page. It's just you turn the page and there's the bruce bruce's calendar so how does that how does that happen and it didn't happen to anyone else in

the reviews so like it just was a one-off it seems like i'm picturing them do like a test press thing like and they just have scrap paper or whatever that they've used oh yeah so and then that version somehow got sold in a normal batch but then again like why use a freaking part of a bruce springsteen calendar to begin with so now i'm wondering if it was just the same publisher and they like the machine messed up and printed but i like i don't know how any of this works so unlikely how that would happen it's so specific it's so specific. And it's like directly inside the book. It's not like, oh, I got sent the wrong copy or like I got sent the wrong item. It's like, no, I got sent the correct item. They just mixed in a little Bruce Springsteen.

Yeah. Into my solstice. Weird. Which is really odd. So weird. So anyway, fun fact. That is fun. I kind of want to buy one now and hope that I got that.

I know. How do I get that? Can you imagine if you did buy the Solstice Badger for Leona and then we were reading it and that just became part of the story? Like truly, it's not like, yeah, if you give that as a gift, I wouldn't, you wouldn't like read it first. Read every page, right? I wouldn't read any pages. I'd be like, here's this book. Hope you like it. It looks cute. Whatever. There's a badger on the front i'm sure it's fine

um yeah and of all things a bruce springsteen calendar it's just so wild it's wild um okay so you're done with your themes okay next up i have something called rain lemon jute burlap happy kwanzaa banner rustic afic African Heritage, Holiday Party, Mantle, Fireplace, Decoration Supply. From Amazon. I was going to say, can you guess what the source of that is? Yes, it is Amazon. This is the top critical review. It's a one-star review by Carl titled Wrong Sign.

Instead of a Happy Kwanzaa sign, I got Happy Retirement. End of review. Oh, they're trying to tell you something. Carl. Your retirement is nigh, Carl. Take this as a message from the universe. You won't make it to Kwanzaa. Can you imagine it's Kwanzaa?

You're like trying to decorate. And you, again, like the book, you haven't looked at everything. You pull it out of the packaging and it's like happy retirement. That's a bummer how does this keep happening next up i have a an email this is from amanda she her and she said she sent reviews of hanukkah hooded blanket on target's website now this is kind of, it looks a little bit like a Snuggie, but it has candles on the top that are supposed to light up, like on the head. A Snuggie with candles. That sounds like a very bad combination.

That's like Christine's recipe for disaster, burning her house down. It has like a menorah on the top, on the hood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So here's, I have a one star and then a redemption um so amanda just sent the redemption but i wanted to find a one star to kind of uh compare them so one star and this is uh by a target user one star title is Festival of Lights or Lord of the Dark. Are they giving me the option? Yeah, I'm waiting for you to choose one.

Oh, Lord of the Dark. All day, every day. All day, every day. Yeah. The selection for hooded blankets is a bunch of characters, creatures, and Hanukkah? Like, sure, there's no Hanukkah mascot. Well, I would argue. Mench on the Bench. Yeah.

They're wrong on that part. Like, sure, there's no Hanukkah mascot, but Target could have tried a tad harder to be festive instead of creepy. The silver spiky candle crown gives off serious Night King vibes. End of review. Oh, dear God. So, now we have a redemption.

That's a five-star review. Verified purchase. Literally the best Hanukkah blanket ever. Listen, I see a bunch of you wet blankets in the comments section. You all need to lighten up. As American Jews, we need to keep the flame of Hanukkah happiness alive however we can. What's the point of being a zealot for observing only traditional ways? You may feel cranky, maybe like you don't have enough cheer to last even one night,

but trust me, if you get this blanket, it'll make you and your family laugh for all eight nights. Be the one to light up the room with smiles as Hanukkah. Take it for a spin. Yes, I'm really a rabbi. Signed, Rabbi Kopens.

Oh, I love that. Yes, so she posted photos of her wearing the blanket with different family members. Cute. And is really a rabbi and so the email amanda had initially sent uh said hanukkah hooded blanket reviewed by a rabbi oh that's perfect and in the email said um some reviewers found this item creepy and weird

while others are mainly annoyed it doesn't come in adult sizes but when someone starts a review with listen i see a bunch of you wet blankets in the comment section and ends it with yes i'm really a rabbi that person has got my attention yes agreed thank you amanda i just have two redemptions left sandy sorry this is uh no i'm so extensive no this is good i went a little i'm glad because i went a little wild i think on the other one on the challenge or on the other on the challenge oh so both both we'll see me too for what it's worth this is a product called santa's workshop hanukkah santa 12 inch what yeah there's a lot to unpack here it's a 12 inch i almost said 12 foot 12 inch santa claus uh model thing holding a menorah but he's fully dressed as santa claus i i don't know what to say troubling implications in some

ways i think not necessarily troubling but just kind of like we've commercialized your holiday as well like it's ours now. I don't know. It's just strange. It feels like, yeah. It's just a strange, like, why would you do that? But, I mean, I guess, well, I guess if you celebrate both holidays in your house or whatever, that kind of makes sense to me.

It's not like it's, like, Jesus with, like, a... Oh, God. You're right. At least it's, like, the commercial view of Christmas, not the religious side. It's not the religious side trying to be... Yeah. No, no you're totally right um so this is a five-star review um it's on zulily.com and the title is jewish santa this is by kathy no it's not cafe this is cafe i was trying to come up with a fake name and I couldn't think of anything but Kathy. So yeah, it's Kathy.

Five stars. I love it. It makes Santa for everyone and nobody feels left out. I placed him next to my sleigh full of dreidels. That's hilarious. I just like that. The crossover. Kathy is like, i just love that now

jewish people can also have sand they've been wanting santa for so long they've been wanting their own santa and they feel so left out a big win yeah but i was thinking that like other than bench on a bench is there anything for hanukkah like the rabbi said uh like a mascot i don't know i guess rabbi's not the one who said mascot. It was the negative reviewer who said that. But I don't know. Not that there needs to be one. It's probably for the best there isn't one.

It's probably a reason, yeah. But now they have Santa holding a menorah. And Cathay says, you know what? Finally, nobody feels left out. And she also has a sleigh full of dreidels. I love that. It's a sleigh, full of dreidels. I love that. It's a sleigh, but with dreidels. So it's another crossover.

Another crossover. She's building a whole like cross-cultural. I'm into it. Tableau. Just going to let that one sit for a minute. That was well done. She didn't even think about that. She just said it.

We didn't even edit. There was no editing there. Okay. So here is a review this is my last one and it's my favorite it is a five-star view of a product on shopdisney.com um it's called mickey and minnie mouse hanukkahow. And it's a throw pillow, festive blue and white, with Mickey and Minnie exchanging a gift. And at the bottom it says, light laughter and latkes. And there is a five-star review here from Lori.

Holiday favorite. I am so glad that I bought this pillow for my sofa this holiday season. It is already getting me in the mood oh no oh no obviously and mini no obviously I emphasized it in a certain way but I like spit my copy out when I read like this Hanukkah getting me in the mood I was like oh no oh no obviously I'm assuming that she means the festive mood but you never never know. That's a crossover nobody wants. Nobody asked for that, Lori. Please stop.

Anyway, so that's all I've got for you. Happy holidays for whatever you celebrate or don't celebrate. Yeah. I hope you enjoy it. Happy December. Happy winter time. Happy winter time. Get yourself a hooded blanket with a menorah on top.

It looks pretty cozy. Yeah. That's what I'm hoping to get for Christmas. Not for Hanukkah? Not for Hanukkah. Okay. I want Christmas things for Hanukkah and Hanukkah things for Christmas. I'm like half A.

I want a crossover. All right. Time for my challenge, which was to find reviews that mention our names or names of our loved ones i'm gonna do a quick uh rundown of people that will be mentioned it's not too many like a table of contents it's the two of us for you i will be reading christine instead of christina even though i call you christina i'm gonna do it as if for these for the listeners okay calling you Christine. Blaze is your husband. Yeah, correct. Bernhard slash Bernie is our father. Oh, God.

And then my name is either Alex or Alexander in these. I cannot wait. Yeah, it's a lot. I love this little group. Dad, Blaze, you, and me. Yeah, I kept it kind of small, but only because it was, I feel like I hit some good ones.

And also some good emails. Excellent. So my first email. I kept seeing emails come in saying like, review with Christine's name in it. And I wanted to read them so bad, but I didn't. Oh, good. Good. Because this one is from Jer.

Oh, yeah. I saw that come in. So this is a review. I'm not going to tell you what it is. So you're just going to hear the review first. You'll probably figure it out. But this is a one a review. I'm not going to tell you what it is. So you're just going to hear the review first. You'll probably figure it out. But this is a one-star review. Boring.

About 170 pages in, I'm throwing in the towel. This just dragged on and on for me. Went nowhere. Sorry, Christine, but you're so lame. End of review. Oh, ow. Ow. My tummy. That hurts. I sat the damn book. Oh, ow. Ow. My tummy. That hurts.

Do you know what that's of? Yeah, Stephen King's book, Christine, that was on Goodreads. I feel like I can't read. I want to read it and I can't because I feel like I would just giggle. I feel like I would take pictures of every line that was like, Christine charged through the room or whatever. Probably. You were so lame, Christine.

Ow. Okay. Sounds like you had a good time doing this challenge thank you jare uh here is one that just came in an hour ago so just barely in time this is from v she her um who found one for me and uh says stay sandy thank you v we will Sandy. Thank you, V. We will. This is a review of Popas Rami. I guess it's a restaurant in Romania, it looks like. So here we go.

Terrible service is the title of it. One star. The waiter forgot about my non-alcoholic beer. That was only the start. We started at such a low point. How could it get any worse? Oh no, I don't think I'm mentally prepared. We wanted to serve some plattori, theoretically

big plates with a lot of food, especially meat. Especially what? Meat. Oh. We were a dozen of persons, so we asked the waiter to communicate with the kitchen staff so everyone can eat well we also ordered some fish same as platory the waiter forgot about the fries and the salad we ordered near the meat and the situation was this we had food for maximum five persons without salad and fries finally the salad came one hour later Two hours spent here and the fish was still in the kitchen or in the ocean. Which I think is the funniest thing ever. Does he think that's where it comes from? We gotta go send our fisherman out.

At a table near, the same waiter announces that the kitchen is closed. At a non-stop restaurant. After another half hour, the fish was on the table. At least the fish was enough. We couldn't eat it all. But after two and a half hours after we ordered, a kid asked for polenta at the beginning of serving. Of course, we didn't see it.

Alex was the name of the short memory waiter. The short memory waiter. We left this place completely pissed off, and we will certainly won't return here. End of review. Oh, Alex was the name. Alex was we will certainly won't return here. End of review. Oh, Alex was the name. Alex was the name. Don't forget it.

Had some suspense there. It's like, huh, who's going to be named? I was wondering. I was like, if this guy's name is Alex, I mean, yikes. There is another one, another email. I think you know who you are. This one I'm saving for the last. Ooh.

Don't get excited. It is. Oh, it's not going to be good. And the opposite of excited. Yeah, it's going to be terrible and very uncomfortable. OK, here we go. I'm going to move on to my research. So I found this great place that was a goldmine called Crazy Bernie's.

Great. By the way, keyword research. Just when I like highlight that's uh we like to call what we do here research this is my job yeah it is it's it's wild but it is sometimes i just like to it is funny yes like counterpoint that with what you're reading yeah and it's just a fun juxtaposition i was at the airport at la guardia and i was sitting there looking up ornament reviews looking at all these weird weird religious ornaments playing RuneScape on my computer waiting for my flight and I was like yeah if someone saw this they'd be like what is that person doing yeah I've gained a lot of um

kind of flexibility and understanding of other people when I like spot them doing something weird I'm like yeah you never know that could be their career like you nowadays you never know so so i was researching and came across crazy bernie furniture this is in fresno california oh god so this is crazy crazy bernie's here's a one-star review this is uh by john bernie himself sent me a message that says bite me sad sad so-called man don't shop there his name's not crazy bernie for nothing truly i feel like he's living up to his name which i feel like a lot of times you you give someone a whimsical name like that and it's just for show yeah no seriously like this is you know what you're getting just by that title and if you need further proof here it is okay oh so one star review um with an owner response worst customer service ever we bought a

display frame and was told that they will have it taken down and put it back nicely in its original box the next morning we went to pick it up the bed wasn't taken down yet and the worker and bernie the owner wanted to just throw everything in our truck. We had to return our borrowed truck and ask for them to deliver it for free, since it was their mistake not breaking down the bed before we got there. Bernie refused to de- Bernie refused to de- Bernie refused to de- Why can't I say this?

What is going on? Bernie refused to de- Okay, at this point we gotta to leave these in right yeah i mean like if it happens again it's become a joke now now i'm like i was literally thinking don't let this be a joke don't let this stay in here it's too it's too late i guess don't edit that out i think bernie our bernie our father is a hexing you from somewhere like like not allowing me to finish. He's not letting you read this sentence. Why is this so difficult for me? Okay.

I'm going to really focus here. Bernie refused to deliver the frame and made it as it was. Then I mess up the rest of the sentence. You were so focused on the word deliver. I was. Refused to deliver the frame and made it as it was our fault that we couldn't wait for them to break down the bed. Okay, that wasn't... To be fair...

To be fair, not your fault entirely. The sentence was terribly written. A young sales rep who helped us purchase the frame offered to borrow a truck and delivery it when he gets off work. Instead of Bernie offering us the store delivery, his own worker had to do it off the clock. Crazy Bernie deserves to get a punch in the face we will never return to this store again for any future purchases including all of our family members who heard of our experience at this store end of review and then here's business owner crazy bernie s is his uh is his name on bern. It's Bernie S, too. Crazy Bernie S, yes. I'm afraid of this, actually.

And here's the response. Please excuse my language, but you, sir, are an asshole and full of shit. Wait, what was the one that he said earlier to the other person? Oh, bite me. I thought it was going to be, excuse my language, bite me. Oh, yeah, relevant. This is five years later. No, the response oh i've given you almost five years to remove this bullshit review of an experience that did not happen anything like you

said you told me to my face that i am now in the midst of a going out of business sale so i no longer give a flying fuck what you or any other crazy bernie hating fuck stick thinks 99.9 of my customers love me or my furniture as my wife and i have poured the last 18 years of our life into this thankless non-profit for profit venture good luck in the future and i dearly hope you enjoy your life like i'm going to enjoy mine crazy bernie end of response oh my god crazy bernie's done is he okay like he's I think he's better now. He seems to be. The business is permanently closed now.

So they did go out of business. So hopefully Crazy Bernie is. He's golfing somewhere. Yeah, just relaxing. I hope relaxing because his heart is not going to take much more of this. And here I have a five star redemption. Oh, good. This is by Nina.

I don't give a flying fuck. wow sure gonna miss this store got my last chest there yesterday but can still shop online gonna miss crazy bernie and his family end of review that's us that's part of crazy bernie's family that's me i'm pretty lame but i'm part of crazy bernie's family you sure i'm just gonna take all of this as like my new persona yeah well now it's time for your husband and and myself actually excellent do you know why the both of us oh my god i knew it the blaze alexander car yep billboards that i see everywhere so on our way back from connecticut we saw these billboards. And Blaze Alexander Chrysler Jeep Dodge. Spelled the same.

B-L-A-I-S-E. Which is like, it's just a weird coincidence. Yes. And this is in State College, Pennsylvania. This is a one-star review. It was in the not recommended section. This is by Kevin. I would give Blaze Alexander zero stars if it was possible.

Me too. Quite simply the worst buying experience I've ever had. I gave them several opportunities to get their stuff together. Three different salespeople, the sales manager, and the general manager all completely dropped the ball. Absolutely frustrating to deal with when a little communication is all that was needed. I will never give them business again and i suggest you don't either so rude poor blaze and poor me i've always always meant to look that up and i never did so i'm so glad you finally had an excuse to look it up yeah i had for such yeah we weren't gonna do

like car dealerships in pennsylvania like the weirdest reason yeah it worked out um and then this is the last one before I go into that email uh this is a cuisine with chef Christine Phoenix Arizona you know what yeah I always said the only word I can think of that rhymes with my name is pristine I never thought of cuisine well it doesn't quite rhyme cuisine and Christine it rhymes well it does yeah I think uh this is a five-star review so it's a redemption and it's in the response to another reviewers who's I didn't read it was just it was kind of boring but that person's name is somewhat relevant I guess I'm so sorry I'm so sorry okay five stars is this an ex of mine

maybe oh great but this is by Jennifer Chef Christine is absolutely amazing I'm not sure what the guy Brandon is talking about. Me neither, Jess. Me neither.

I'm so sorry. We have used her numerous times for different occasions. Corporate retreats, private family dinners, and cocktail parties. That's what I told my ex. I was like, do you know how many corporate retreats I'm invited to? And you still? I'm not good enough for you? Oh my god she is extremely thorough polite friendly and her food is outstanding i recommend her to all

my friends and colleagues and will continue to use her for years to come you are wonderful chef christine and we thank you for being the best i like i'm like fully taking this yeah that is so nice yeah oh my gosh yeah that's what we told blaze that's what like how we pitched me to blaze after i broke up with my ex i was like well my food is good i'm polite and i go to a lot of corporate retreats yeah really the full package i would say the full package are you ready no i don't know about this this you have the air of like some of the stupid shit we used to do yeah my stomach hurts um god's sake but this was really apparently really easy for the kirsten here to find so kirsten uh found this this is of a book called christine colon

love by allison alexander oh for god's sake and uh kirsten says i googled reviews christine alex and this was the second thing to show up so it was very easy yikes to find um do you think some people try to find our podcast that way though and they're like this i really hope not the content i was looking i really hope not this appears to be the second book in a trilogy kirsten says warning warning, contains sexy stuff. Oh, God. And says, love you guys. Also, congrats on the beautiful baby, Christine.

Thanks, but I'm not super thrilled with you right now. So here's a five-star review. This is a verified purchase. Christine, colon, courtship was an altogether lovely story, the very definition of a slow burn. Friends to lovers romance. Alice and Alexander presented us with a young woman I came to love in 40 plus pages. The glee, joy, happiness, and love of the final scenes left me smiling for days and made me anxious to read the next chapter. Having led us through a lovely romantic gender positive courtship, Alexander takes us deeper into romance and relationships with christine colon love

oh god this is a weird sentence creepy i hate it the story picks up almost right after the first introducing us to an entirely different woman with alex having given her the love and support she has always craved wait wait so now there's a character character named alex when you first read i said i in my head i didn't say it out loud but in my head i said at least it's not the character's name that could make it so much worse yes i didn't think this author would name a character after herself this is like like i know i do this shit to like on purpose sometimes but like this is i don't like this but i it's exactly what the the challenge was it was emailed in like. I can't just ignore this. Just read it.

With Alex having given her the love and support she has always craved, Christine is free to open up. She is almost childish in her unrestrained glee, in her teenage-like lust, and that makes her an absolute delight. I can't go on. Christina, this is so bad. Oh, God.

The sex here, and there is a lot of it. The things we do for you people. I like how everyone's like, we didn't ask for this. Yeah, I know, I know. It's only Kirsten. The sex here, and there is a lot of it, is smoking hot, but it is also full of romantic

passion. Alex is a wonderful lover. Oh my god. I can't breathe. Alex is a wonderful lover, patient and supportive of Christine's needs and deliciously inventive. When it comes to inventing new ways to pursue her pleasure, we get a bit more of Christine's past enough to help us understand her

anxieties in the first story. And more than enough to make us appreciate what alex's love means to her i love christine so much i already feel protective of her and that is what has given me pause i was going to review the next book along with this but the title christine colon pain and the blurb which talks of needs that alex can't meet and an explosion when christine pushes him too far mean i need to compose myself prepare myself and take a deep breath first end of review alexander i'm pretty sure somebody heard your challenge right right this is from january 2020 that's nuts and horrible i hate it it's like the

worst possible thing you that kirsten could have found there's another one no there's not another five star review title taking it to the next level did kirsten also send this or did you yeah no kirsten oh i did not do any further research on this i promise you no this was also in the email okay Okay. Here it is. I'm actually crying. Alex and Christine's relationship evolved and grew close in the first book. In this second, they take it to the next level, exploring their love in several erotic sessions, getting to know each other's sexual pleasures, while new pieces of the puzzle about Christine's past are revealed to Alex. Alice and Alexander's interesting writing style that relies on a lot of excellent and

well-written dialogue between the two main characters continue to serve strongly and effective in this second story in her Christine series. End of review. I don't know. What are the odds of this? It seems targeted and I don't like it. It does. And this author's last name is Alexander.

And she was like i know what i'll name my character i mean yeah what on earth i'm crying that's i've they should ban that name from books agreed after christine by stephen king it should be kind of awful just so true in my opinion alexander i was i'm actually that was the worst thing that's the worst thing that's ever happened ever yeah wow cool love that for us thanks a lot everybody yeah thanks kirsten that sucks thanks for listening i told y'all i told y'all to stick around and for your sick brains it would be worth it this is just yeah this is next level next level right, right? No, it was, I saw those and I was like, I can't not read this. It's just.

It's exactly what we're looking for. Curses would probably like express mail us some sort of legal. What? Wait, what? I don't know. Where is this going? I think my oxygen is gone. I think you're legally required to read that on the show

because of how i don't know if it's so well it will because i made this challenge i or i just you gave me this challenge this was what i had to do and they gave me literally like both of our names yeah in reviews the worst possible setting but the setting is terrible wow that was something else i tell you that was thanks for that uh-huh also i just can't get over crazy bernie and how perfect that is right i mean i don't know probably not everybody knows that that's i mean they do now but that's our dad's name not crazy bernie although now it might be i might yeah we might have to start and start yeah you hear him at the beginning of every episode. Yes, that's right.

And Crazy Bernie is fitting for his little intro. You could see how that... It all makes sense. Oh, my God. Well, that was one of the most fun challenges. Who gave that challenge, by the way? I totally forgot to credit them. I'm so sorry.

Oh, yeah, that was sent in by Jswiz. She, her. Yeah. Thank you, Jswiz. That was seriously... that was so fun getting to research that honestly that was one of the funniest challenges ever i'm so glad that we should do that again sometime yeah no i think that's one worth doing again um especially because you can kind of just do any names we could do geo or i don't know we'll figure yeah that's that's a gold mine um speaking of which shall

we give a theme and challenge yes absolutely once i have it one moment all right so our theme for our episode coming out on december 29th is going to be a more general version of one we've done before it's just going to be lighthouses And the reason why is because I am obsessed with lighthouses. I consider them my passion now. Wow. I do. I know. It's something where the more into them I get, the more excited and happy I become.

It's so fun. So I'm like, is this what having a passion feels like? I need a passion. How cool. I know. I'm having a blast just looking into things and visiting them and i'm very fortunate i have someone like d in my life who is uh on top of making sure we see as many as we can and lives on a near coast yeah exactly so i think i've seen 19

this year wow um so that might be my final number for the year guys out center literally got a license plate the the Ohio license plate that has the lighthouse on it. Yeah. That's how invested he is. That's on my TikTok. And actually,

speaking of my TikTok, hopefully by this point, I've released one of my first lighthouse TikToks. I think I'm going to go and be a lighthouse TikToker. He's going to be the lighthouse TikTok guy.

Oh, the? That's pretty high bar, but I have no idea. I should probably look into that. Or the market. I've been looking into some YouTube videos and enjoying watching a lot of those.

I'm excited personally. Why not? I want to watch this unfold. This one's very on brand for me. And there's also a special And That's Why We Drink episode. Just look out for it if it hasn't come out yet. And this will be the last of the year. Yes.

And now speaking of... Oh, no. I have to give you a challenge first. Then we'll go to first next year. So the challenge, which we just kind of brainstormed and came up with a little bit, is I wanted to do something that related to the App Store because this will be an Alexander episode. Yes. Lighthouses and App Store. This is my two passions.

Your two passions. The Apple App Store. The more you get into the App Store, the more just in love with it you become. It's so true i'm gonna be the tiktok app store guy oh dear god um so the the challenge is to find reviews where a user seems to be a kid or a child pretending to be an adult and we've come across i mean you could probably also use uh common sense media or whatever because things like that kids definitely do that too where they try to convince everyone that you know this video game is definitely for my five-year-old and there are a lot of weird apps out there that are should children should not be

on and yet are the only ones yes exactly yeah like i just saw and i saw a reddit post recently with like a 12 year old which is not even allowed mentioning like yeah i'm only 12 or something my mom lets me use and i'm like get off of that where are you red is i well i should get off that it's not good for me i don't go on reddit because i'm too too sensitive i have mine very catered i have our lighthouses and that's about it yeah you need to make it like a cozy place for yourself. And vegan circle jerk, which is not the coziest place,

but it's where I belong. That is true. That will be, I might have to stop for when my episodes come out. That'll be when, you probably will. Oh God, I'm so nervous.

Just for your own sanity. I'm not saying anything bad will be there. I know. I'll respond to them in a jokey, lighthearted way and disarm the situation. Excellent.

I hope there's no situation. This is the impending situation. Okay, you just should pretend to be an adult. You should be a child pretending to be an adult and be like, I'm actually 12. Okay, so here is your theme, our theme for the first episode of the year. This was sent in by Annalise, who is currently visiting a little place called Little Bavaria. Oh. It is a quaint alpine town called Helen, Georgia.

And it's like kind of a, it looks like it's kind of a touristy, like cool German town. I don't know if it's touristy, but you can visit and like partake in some of the german slash bavarian activities and she said i'm sure you two can dive into the activities in helen and decide for yourselves if you two d blaze and baby leona want to visit oh i want to visit um for what it's worth yeah so yeah um is it kind of like solving yeah yes i think it's like the danish from the very minimal research i've done yeah it looks like it has like german restaurants and like cute b&bs and you know that kind of thing so it's like basically we're just doing this town as our reviews of the places and that sounds great cool because it's all very that sounds very fitting especially you know yeah

and especially like at the end of this you know holiday season i bet there are a lot of new reviews of people who are visiting and things so very timely yeah i love it i love it yay okay what's my challenge i'll consider visiting after that i would love to go i don't know after the challenge or after this theme we might not want to be so inclined that's very true your challenge this comes from uh cat she her uh cat gave i'm expanding it a little bit so cat said someone a challenge where someone's upset that they were or were not asked for a senior discount i want you to find reviews of people who are upset that they received or didn't receive any sort of discount. So like, or like I could see someone being insulted that they were given the senior

discount. Aha. For example, or like someone upset that they weren't given the senior discount. And they're also, you know, military discounts as well. Like you get those military family members,

like stereotype of the military wife. Who's all like, why don't like I serve my time by being a military wife. Where's my discount type of thing? Those people unfortunately exist. So I assume that there are some reviews. Oh, my gosh. OK, I'm excited, especially for the senior one. I feel like.

Yeah, I feel like that can be pretty like someone's like they wouldn't let me order tilapia off the IHOP senior menu. What the heck? I'm 65 plus. I'm 32. Why wouldn't't let me order tilapia off the ihop senior menu what the heck i'm 65 plus i'm 32 why wouldn't they let me awesome well that'll be fun uh these will be the last and first episodes of the this and next year exciting times and when that second one comes out we'll be getting ready to be in minneapolis for and that's why we drink live i'll be there i'm excited i've seen some people email in and say they're going to be in Minneapolis for it and that's why we drink live I'll be there I'm excited I've seen some people email in and say they're gonna be at certain shows in Toronto in Minneapolis I'm very excited

to see you all it's gonna be fun so onward and upward talk to you soon everybody bye bye you