Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 160: Reviews of Ornaments

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

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Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. All right, we're here. We're comfy. Hi. I'm so far away from you. Lounging now, like I am every time we record. I always sit in this it's comfy this like office comfy office chair and now i've got my feet up on her window bench i'm a mensch on a bench yeah hey now that's perfect you are a mensch on a bench you're no ruth bader ginsburg oh so true um hello and welcome to beach to sandy Two Wet. This is the ornament episode.

I just wanted to look up ornaments and that's what we did. I did not realize how many ornaments I would own. I don't even, I don't have a tree. I've never had my own tree. I have no use for these ornaments, but there's some cool ones out there. Oh, you mean that you would? That I would. I thought you meant like you purchased all of them for yourself already.

I was tempted. Sitting in that airport, going through these reviews i was tempted i was also tempted there are some wild and some really specific and fun ornaments on the internet some not so great also true that's you know true everything we do on this show um but yeah so i don't know how many you have i don't even know how many i have why don't you go first okay i'm excited i have a website called ornament shop.com so they make like family ornaments and stuff where you can like personalize them where they have like different people or pets oh and they're based off of but they're not like photos they're like no yeah they're like kind of cartoony like they're custom made based on your people in your family yeah or they're

or they're like oh family of five going fishing and then you like uh put the name you like customize the names and yeah i guess a lot of people buy one a year depending on what their family did that year so like of course i looked at like cruise ship ones and like yeah makes sense just married or whatever so they have a ton i mean so many freaking ornaments and so i looked that up and i found some wild ones this first one i have is called i'm going to read the title of it personalized broken arm male christmas ornament oh now that is specific i'm gonna show you a picture here he is oh my gosh it's it's a man it's a little boy a boy with a broken arm and a cast across his stomach yeah that's it he's smiling well he has uh some text on his shirt that says austin oops i fell and broke my arm oh it says the name austin and then says oops correct yeah so they're

selling this to just anyone to anybody this specific one or do you customize the name so you customize the name and you can customize the text so that's like the example so i could put carl on there remember when carl broke that i know oops I fell off a shovel. Carl, I fell off a shovel. That is an ornament I need. Yes. Yes. That is precisely it. Or you can write like, ouch, I'm Carl and I fell off a shovel. You know, whatever you want.

Got it. Got it. And then they have different skin tones, different hair colors, that kind of thing. So you can like somewhat customize it. Yeah. So here's the description, because I figured you'll understand why I need to read the description. Do you know someone who has taken a tumble or had a bad accident and broke his arm? Then this personalized broken arm ornament is the perfect gift to memorialize such an event that took place. With his arm in a cast, he wears a blue baseball hat, blue jeans,

and a green shirt that can be personalized with a message of get well, or it can be a keepsake of a funny incident in which someone got hurt. Oh my god, this is so weird. Since there was no hospitals. Oh my god. Since there was no hospital stay, and getting a cast on your arm is an outpatient procedure, this ornament is a fun way

to make a bad situation easier to take that's so bizarre since nobody died we're allowed to joke about this is sort of what they're saying that's so bizarre isn't it yes since there was no hospital stay for this boy it's very funny that he broke his arm okay that's what he's trying to say here i just thought it was so strange there's a five star review here by kathy but it is a negative review i think she was confused the title is disappointed i wish you had the boy with the broken arm to be his left one instead of his right arm end of review what oh my that's so okay like this is already so specific. I can't imagine them taking the time to be like, let's also make one for the other arm. Like it's so specific.

Or both arms broken. Yeah. And like, I don't think a kid would receive this and say, I don't get it. And it's like, cause you broke your arm. No, but I broke the other arm. Yeah, exactly. I don't get the connection. It's like, it's the same thing.

Like if it's the other one, just say it's like a mirror, looking in a mirror. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just fucking. So anyway. Jesus Christ. Kathy's not having it with Just say it's like a mirror looking in a mirror. Yeah. Whatever. Just fucking. So anyway. Jesus Christ. Kathy's not having it with that. That's hilarious.

So yeah, that is that's broken. What a sight you found. Boy ornament. I was on Hallmark. Yes. You went on Hallmark. It was so hard because every time I Googled something specific, Hallmark was the one that had it.

Yeah. Whoops. Sorry. No, no. I'm excited. Well, here's one. This is of the very hungry caterpillar book ornament fun it's it is literally the book as an ornament cool uh dimensions though

it's 1.88 inches tall so it's like only two like it's like a small ornament but it's like the book wait can you like read the book it has words in it oh for real yeah it's like it's anyway i thought it was just like a picture of the book but like oh no it's that's the thing about these ornaments like these ornaments on hallmark are insanely detailed a lot of them i was so impressed by so many of these ornaments about hallmark but okay it's it's pretty cool they have like a keepsake series of ornaments. I've learned a lot about them recently. Anyway, here's a review.

Two stars. Super tiny. I bought this because I read The Very Hungry Caterpillar to my daughter every night when she was young. The ornament is ridiculously tiny and there's no way you can read the words without magnifying it somehow. For the price, I expected it to be a lot nicer one star for ornament creativity one star for nostalgia end of review it's literally an ornament of a book it's not the book in my great attitude i mean but i looked at it you can technically read it but like it's not meant to be read like it's not kind of ornament can can you say that about like oh i can read this ornament with a magnifying glass i can read a whole story exactly about any ornament so that's pretty cool alone that i can do that i'm sending you a picture

because it's so i love it so much a text yeah um and it has like in the middle it has like the apple and the caterpillar coming out of it. How adorable. In 3D. It's so cute. It is small, but it says it's small. It's an ornament, okay? Can you imagine? Some of these ornaments were really heavy, and people were like, I can't even hang this on my tree because it's too heavy. Yeah, and it's not like they're lying about the size.

Excuse me, this is so cute. Isn't that so cute? Well, what did she expect? Someone hole-punched a book? They even have a picture of how it is on the tree. don't know i don't know what exactly literally thinks someone's gonna hang the book maybe which she should just do yeah there you go do it yourself anyway that's my first one point for nostalgia it's like wow okay i have another review from ornamentshop.com this one is called personalized potty training boy christmas ornament dear jesus

they have everything um and this one alexander i'll zoom in you show you a picture it's a little boy on a toilet perfect what reading the very of the very hungry caterpillar with a magnifying glass no he's reading a book that says i'm it's upside down so whatever i'm a big boy now trevor trevor's book is upside down says i'm a big boy now yeah and it's kind of not also his pants are down so that's really awkward this is too much yeah it is too much you imagine buying an ornament of a child with their pants down on the toilet come on it's just and a lot of people have okay so this is a five-star review by kathleen um and the title is potty training it's again it's a five star but uh it's

not necessarily a positive we were too hopeful as matt is still potty training however the ornament was well made and gave our praise for an accomplishment to be achieved someday oh end of review so they were really hopeful that by christmas matt would be a big boy like they're disappointed that in the child so they give the ornament five stars ornament did its job the kid just didn't the ornament's fault did not pull his weight it's my grandson's fault i just i like the positive spin like someday this ornament will mean something. Let's hope. Yeah.

We'll see. We'll see. Don't put that much pressure on it though. Okay. My next one. This is of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. Musical ornament with light. And it's like one of those like suitcase turntables.

And it has like the grinch on it shoving things up the thing but yeah it's this little like turntable looking it's cute i want to shop all these hallmark ones and it plays music damn like they they have lights music no it plays uh uh your mean one mr grinch oh that's a fun one too. And here's the review. One star review titled Disappointing. That is not Tony the Tiger. Nope. Not doing it. And like you probably are, I was very confused.

I did my research. So don't tweet at me yet, everybody. Confused but thrilled. There is a reason for this. What? The original person to sing that song was uncredited but his name is thorough ravenscroft who also happens to be the voice of tony the tiger get out of town upset that the and maybe rightfully a little bit i don't know that the music that the

ornament played wasn't the original song the original singer but the original singer tony the tiger who happens to also be tony like they're like i love the authentic original singer but the original singer tony the tiger who happens to also be tony they're like i love the authentic original one that the serial mascot sang it's like hang on you know that's must be how they know i do love the original uh yeah and it's the thorough ravenscroft who's done a lot what a cool name he his uh he did voiceover work and singing for disney in both the films and the attractions at Disneyland. Cool. So, for example, he was a singing bust at the Haunted Mansion. He was a what?

A singing bust. I thought you said bus. I was like, I don't remember that attraction. That's a weird one. Yeah. He was part of Country Bear Jamboree, Mark Twain Riverboat, Pirates of the Caribbean, Disneyland Railroad, and Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room as Fritz. His voice acting career began in 1940 and lasted until his death in 2005 at age 91.

Wow. So out of quite the career commercials, he was the voice of Monstro the Whale in Pinocchio. Oh my gosh. Seriously, Dumbo was in Dumbo. So many things basically wow but yes was the singer of that song uh you're a mean one mr grinch what a prolific guy yeah i mean like literally like all these singing things and like sleeping beauty uh mary poppins the jungle book and now he's an ornament well he's not actually he didn't get Cassidy in the Sunday

said yeah and didn't get the ornament he didn't get to be in the ornament the Lorax that's a bummer yeah wow well I do love that uh it sings but it's a bummer that it's not the wait so is it just the music or is it like a just a different singer yeah it was a different singer and was also kirby in the brave little toaster oh my god okay alexander has a crush i think i mean come on that's such a no i'm impressed vacuum kirby i'm just bummed that he didn't get um to be the part of this ornament agreed so this was an email sent in by christina she her and it is of it's sort of more of a figurine but you'll see department 56 peanuts charlie brown and snoopy the perfect tree figurine handcrafted and hand painted sounds sexy a little too sexy here's the picture it's very adorable cute it's just like

you know the tree they're hanging an ornament on the tree. And here's a review by MT, one star. Verified purchase. Ridiculously tiny, probably worth $2 at most. More Christmas tree ornament size. Great if you're a seahorse. End of review. And the title of the review is great if you're a seahorse. I mean, someone's got to make them for seahorses

and you know how they love christmas ornaments oh yeah um finally they have a shot you know they deserved it they finally deserve quite the quite the existence they've been put down for so long yeah yeah so anyway i just was like that's so strange people get so specific with their insults and they repeated it like they were like no i meant what i said well because they were probably very weirdly proud of it you know yeah yeah yeah like this will get them this will get them good this will this will tell them how small it really is jeez an ornament for a seahorse imagine how actually small that would be imagine if you had a very hungry caterpillar for a seahorse it would be so small true i would i you know what i'll give i'll give

you that i don't think i'd be able to read it you don't i don't i know even though you always brag about your damn perfect vision my perfect vision that's no it's not perfect anymore you know that i do i shouldn't have brought it up now sometimes i wear glasses while driving oh man i love that that implies sometimes you just don't wear glasses oh i usually don't it's just for long drives because it makes my eyes tired but yeah when i put them on i'm like oh i can see some things when i have them off i can still see things oh that's a stop sign i didn't realize i passed my test without the glasses anyway here is my next one this is of crappy christmas musical ornament with sound effects.

And it's like a poop. Yeah, I knew it. Christmas poop, little smiley, kind of cute for some people. Strange. Glittery. Glittery Christmas poop. But I know for some people it's just not for them. So here is a review.

One star. Are you serious? Not appropriate for Christmas. Very disappointing. End of review. Oh my god. Well, they're not gonna like what I bring to the table later. And they're not the only one who wouldn't like it because here's another one star review of it. Oh boy. Poo. That's so wrong. Really Hallmark of review people act like this is some sort of i don't understand like i just read a potty training review where a bunch of people were like this is the sweetest thing ever so you can have a kid on a toilet but you can't have a glittery poop and you can have fucking vin diesel's car from fast and the furious that's another one like no one's no one's saying like oh paul walker and vin diesel's cars and fast and the Furious that's another one like no one's no one's saying like oh Paul Walker

and Vin Diesel's cars and Fast and the Furious as ornaments wow this isn't this doesn't belong here for Christmas the number of different ornaments like why is this like smiley glittery poop that like egregious that you feel the need to like call it out and leave a one-star review without buying like what makes it so inappropriate compared to all the other non-christmas christian non-christian ornaments nothing to do with literally nothing and like i those reviews that were always so cute like you see these reviews of like minion ornaments and things like oh my grandchild loved it like big fan of minions or even like even those fast and furious ones people, people would comment, oh, my grandson loves cars. So I got him this and the smile on his face was so amazing. It doesn't matter.

Like and even the ones for this were cute. Why would you even take the time to go on Hallmark.com and be like, I'm going to go gatekeep which ornaments I'm happy with. And the number you have to go through to get because there's so fucking many. And to. Yeah. I don't know. But yeah, crap. Crappy Christmas. through to get because there's so fucking many and to yeah i don't know but yeah crap crappy

christmas i hope that thing happens where you know when you accidentally look at like click on something or look at something and then all of a sudden it's in your advertisements on every website oh no i hope that they since they reviewed this product now every time they go somewhere it's like still thinking about this crappy poopy ornament that's probably what broke them it was like it's about time i we noticed you you checked they send an email like we noticed you liked our poo line and they have an email full of different like christmas poop ornaments for them they're at work and they're like no it's not what you think oh boy oh god but wait i just looked at the description for this it says a fun version of jingle, complete with sound effects you'll be glad you can't

smell, plays when you press the button. It's a gas. Literally. I mean, sure. I don't want it. I mean, it had 80 reviews and was overall 4.8 out of 5. Oh, okay. So a lot of people were like, this is my jam.

I'm going to read another review. This is a five star. It's a quick one. These are great ornaments. My three-year-old grandson is all about farts right now and will absolutely love this. End of review. Three-year-old?

See, it's stuff like that. And all of these are just so, most of them at least, are so adorable. Like, oh, my grandchild has a warped sense of humor. Like, she's going to love it. Can you imagine if you received as like a child you received that poop ornament and one of you potty training and you were like something is going like my parents are a little too far into this right now um this is what we want to come out of your butt yeah there you go look what happens someone just poop, love the sounds it makes. Gross.

Like, that's the thing is like, some people will love this. Yeah. So let them love it. Yeah, who cares? Here come the carrots making their way up field, followed by the whole wheat bread, over to the two dozen eggs. Sir, do you do this every time? Sorry, I've been a little excited ever since I got this BMO Toronto FC Cashback Mastercard.

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and conditions apply. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Well, next up, I went a little different here, and I found a Hallmark movie called the christmas

ornament oh good call yeah it's from 2013 since you told me i couldn't use hallmark ornaments i kind of twisted your words and did it anyway um i'm gonna read the well i guess no i was gonna make you try and guess what it's about the christmas ornament do you want to pitch like a hallmark movie based on i did see a tiktok where people yes or what it was like watch the first 10 minutes and then try to guess the entire so i wrote down the rules because i want to play this okay it's the first three minutes and you get the title and then of the like a lifetime or hallmark christmas movie and then everybody takes a few minutes on a piece of paper and writes down the plot of the movie and then you put it all in like a i don't a piece of paper and writes down the plot of the movie

and then you put it all in like a i don't know glass or something and mix up the papers and um yeah like see whose is the best plot and whose matches the closest to the actual film i love it i say film loosely but yeah so a christmas ornament i don't know. It sounds like, oh God, I bet there's divorce involved. A sad child who has this ornament from their childhood that was given to them by their father who's been kicked out of the house. Their papa. And now they're hoping that dad will come home for Christmas or something and mom will allow him back or something. And they'll fall in love again. Okay, I was going to say you're missing a key element, which is romance. But yeah, you got there at the end.

Your only problem is you got to lead with the romance on these things. Oh, God. You know, very heavily. So it's from 2013. Oh, also, just throwing it out there before anyone thinks i'm like stealing it but the mac justin mccroy does a bit where he reads three it's it's very funny he reads like three hallmark or lifetime uh plots and he makes one of them up oh and they have to guess and you guess wrong every time because they're so wild yeah like the log lines yeah listed that in

human seeking human read like different article headlines and like a brief description of each one and read three and then had to like the game was guess which one's real. It was so hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. Because they're so bananas. You're like that can't be right.

Okay. Literally the real one was that they use like tons of bananas to grease the ramp into the water for a boat. What? Because tons of... That's literally it. They brought all these bananas and squashed them. Ew. And to get...

They were like, what's slippery? Yeah. And it was a real thing that they did. Oh, my God. Anyway. Okay. So I'll read you the synopsis. Here it is.

The Christmas Ornament Hallmark 2013. Newly widowed Kathy plant. Sorry, they're all named Kathy, by the way. Oh my God, so many Kathys. I didn't make up any of the names today. So Kathy, Kathleen, and Kathy. I didn't make them up. Newly widowed Kathy plans to skip out on decking the halls

and trimming the tree this Christmas, trying to avoid anything that will bring back memories of her late husband. When Kathy meets handsome Christmas tree shop owner Tim, their undeniable chemistry, along with an ornament Tim gives her that symbolizes hope, helps Kathy open up to the joys of the season again. Oh, is the ornament just the word hope? You know, this symbolizes hope. I don't know. I tried to see what the ornament just the word hope? You know, this symbolizes hope. I don't know.

I tried to see what the ornament was. I couldn't figure it out. I guess we'll have to watch it. Oh, fine. Yep. If you twist my arm. This is a half star review. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. And this is written by Blandteen03. I have held my tongue, especially when I was younger, but no more. These films seem to have a certain audience, if you will. Just when you think the worst is over, the slow realization that these movies take themselves seriously. Now, who am I to criticize? If you look at the films I have logged on here, and I'm not a snob, but my God, these look like parodies. the films I have logged on here and I'm not a snob but my god these look like parodies from a young age I had no choice in what kind of media I consumed and was subjected to none other than

religious propaganda in some weird way the only way I can describe these movies is propaganda for what I have no clue but my god I hope no one else falls for it whatever it is love that I was like that's a good way to it. It feels like they're trying to sell you something, but you're not really sure what. Yeah, and you're afraid. Like uncomfortable. I feel like I'm going to get sucked into this. I thought that was just a fitting. And so just to go off that, I found a 10-star review.

Can I read it back to that? So this was a half star out of 10? So that was a half star on a different website, which was five, I believe. And now this is an IMDb, which is out of 10. So this is a 10 out of 10 review. This is by Christmas Reviewer. And the title is A Nice Film.

And the first paragraph is in all capitals. Beware of bogus reviews. Some reviewers have only reviewed one film that tells me they were involved with the production i have reviewed over 200 christmas movies i have no agenda i am fair about these films it's spelled f-a-r-e but we'll let it slide put the christmas ornament on your must watch list in this film a recently young widowed is facing her first christ Christmas without her husband. Cameron Matheson plays a man who owns a Christmas tree lot, and the two, of course, fall in love.

What is believable about this film is that it shows no matter how old you are, never lose the nervousness you have when you like someone and hope they like you. What was perfect about this was the two leads do not start off as adversaries i love the fact that each one is a little gun shy that's capital lgs in quotes i love the fact that each one is a little gun shy and is afraid of being hurt most adults over 30 will quote fully understand and can relate to both of these people which i'm like a widow no i unfortunately i mean fortunately for me i don't but okay but you're not over 30 yet no no i'll get there i guess i'm not either i'm at 30 so i guess next year maybe i'll understand my favorite moment in the film

happens when they turn on the snow machine on the christmas tree lot try not to smile when you hear the man say i love christ. I'll do my best. No promises. Well, we're both doing it now. Smiling. It is a magical moment. End of review. That's cute, actually.

I was thinking that, like, this is so cheesy that I was thinking this. But when you described that plot line, I was like, I'm glad they weren't, like, adversarial. Like, I was thinking that. They always do that. Yeah. My whole thing was like my fake movie that I gave you was like, oh, like they're. They don't get along. They don't get along, which is very tired. It's tired.

Yeah. And it's like, I don't know. Throw it out. Don't settle. Like, find someone that makes you this happy and giggly. From day one. Yeah. Yeah.

So I love also the insinuation that anyone who reviews this negatively or i don't know if they're saying it's positive or negative yeah i don't know or involved with the production of the film i don't think they were saying like to defend doing this to defend the film they were just saying like to talk themselves up as a reviewer to say like look i'm official i'm i am an unbiased source so you should listen to me unlike all these other reviews i see like positive or negative don't listen to them because i like that this person's also like they've only reviewed one film that tells me all i need to know that they were involved and i'm like how did you come up to that conclusion but okay like who

like at what level in the production involved with the production like what level i'm the camera guy and i have something to say exactly like i feel like there's so many people involved in production that the last thing they would want to do is leave a positive review for them i'm set deck i want to comment on how great all the fake snow was yeah it's such a specific and like i'd like to think that i don't know i don't unless it's like a short small film or something like i don't see like don't unless it's like a short small film or something like i don't see like a director or something being like oh i'm gonna go on like imdb and leave a review for my own movie i don't know yeah unless it's a very desperate producer

who's like true i need a few extra stars on my imdb i don't know yeah yeah well my next one is of Disney Mickey Mouse Storyteller's Statue Ornament. It's a statue of Walt Disney with Mickey. Oh. And it's like a weird thing. Yeah. It's like he's, they look like a statue of themselves. Yes. It's like an ornament of a statue.

Okay. And here's the review. One star. Poor design. of themselves yes it's like an ornament of a statue okay and here's the review one star poor design walt disney looks exactly like freddy krueger end of review and i was like yeah really i see it like i see it like with the hat it's a hat that does it i think but like i was like you know the face under the hat somehow the combination it's well it's it's because the the hallmark had to use the same mold for their freddy krueger they just they couldn't spring for a new mold it's too expensive they just added a mustache to this one for walt they

recycled it they were like who else can we put in the freddy krueger mold i guess walt disney looks sort of like another white dude that's very funny uh okay so now i have an email from s she her and i actually emailed s to make sure i could use this like a little backstory because i think it's really fun but i wanted to get the permission first and so the answer was no the answer was no so i said here we go screw you no she was very nice and gave me permission it was it wasn't it wasn't a it wasn't an ask it was just telling you what was gonna happen and gave me permission. It wasn't an ask. It was just telling you what was going to happen and you had to deal with it. That's right.

Yeah, this is just a courtesy warning. A courtesy warning. So she says, I bought this ornament as a Christmas gift for my now ex-boyfriend and something about its gaze told me that you needed to know about it. Now, this is called the Santar. It's a... Santa Santar? Correct. A hundred percent. told me that you needed to know about it now this is called the santar it's a santa santar correct 100 is it is it like actually santa or is it like just a centaur dressed like in sand it is actually

santa if your santa has washboard abs uh he does which he does yeah as you've told me many times yeah um let me see if i can zoom in a little bit here. Oh, dear God. Oh, it's frightening. Oh, zoom in all the way. Oh, gosh. Do you see it? I do. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Basically, it's a really buff Santa chest front with mittens on, but he's naked everywhere else.

But then he's on top of a horse. He's half horse, half Santa. Half horse, half Santa. Half very buff Santa. So, she says, introducing Santar, aka buff Santa with horse legs. I should probably just read that. That's an easier way to describe it. A truly magnificent being.

And she says the reviews do, in fact, do it justice. And she says, I add the fact that- As in like, this deserves justice. We need to quash Santar. Vengeance. Or is that the kind of justice are we doing like oh yeah like we love santar uh maybe a mix a mix okay okay good somewhere in between okay which is what i would expect yeah yeah yeah you're completely on point so she says i add the fact that the recipient of this santar is my ex because he recently told me he is gay and isn't out yet. When he first told me, I jokingly asked if Santar helped him come to terms with his sexuality, to which he coyly replied, maybe.

I hope that the reviews of this true treasure provide you with but a fraction of joy and maybe self-actualization that it provided us. So that just cracked me up. And I'm gonna read uh one of the reviews she sent i now understand why you were asking to use that backstory i i thought it was just like oh i gave this to my ex and i thought it might be like something like sloppy or bad you know like it was just like you know i'm not in a position to to determine whether or to like this was a lot nicer than I expected. Yes. And she responded and said, we're on good terms. And he doesn't listen to podcasts.

So you're fine. So I was like, great. That's all the permission I need. So now this is a five star review. And so it's a redemption. And the title is No More Need for Elf in a Shelf. And this is by Laura. Forget flying back to Santa every night to tell on you like

that snitch elf santar will tell you to your face how big of a failure you are santar not only sees you while you're sleeping he knows and takes account of how many sheets of tp you use after each bowel movement and minuses that number off your possible good presence list santar will not lose his powers if touched like that weak elf his rosy red cheeks sweat glistening bouncing pecs and fantastically shaped horse haunches dare you to touch him if you will but no one has ever lived to tell if they did i dare you next year to santar end of review what i know i'm staying away from santar that's terrifying but yeah it's okay when you said do it justice this is like right like powerful message absolutely like really convey the power and stature behind this this beautiful creature

i can picture those haunches like yep like haunching right up to me telling me how much of a failure i am yes fitting in full ornament size he's still that small but he's still that intimidating so oh my god santar i love that yay i love that here is my next one this is star wars the book of boba fett boba fett ornament oh it's boba fett with a gun but chilling on like a throne thing i have not watched any oh my star wars stuff i'm so sorry it looks like he's on the sofa, but... Yeah, it looks like a sofa. I think it's a throne, but, you know, it looks kind of like a sofa. I'm gonna say it's a sofa to, like, piss off everyone who really likes Star Wars a lot, and...

This is, like, the other direction of that review that I had a couple ago. Okay. This is a three-star review titled, Different. My adult grandson wanted this Boba Fett ornament. He really likes it, but but for me it is not very christmassy end of review at least still gave it a three star at least bought it at least you know

i love that she's like you know i tried to make it i tried to find the christmassy in it and i just can't find it it's just so odd like you're right i would say like 90 percent of or maybe even more of christmas ornaments that they sell are not necessarily christmas related to be fair even like the generic ones like just the balls are just balls they're just they're just decoration they're not like tributes to christmas or tributes to like like jesus christianity yeah it's just like it's very strange it is very strange and like yeah you go through like christianity yeah it's just literally like it's very strange it is very strange and like yeah you go through like the keepsake ornaments it's just all different interests like if you have an interest you're gonna find like there's a um i don't know if i

have a review of it there's one that was like a um just a cute like a sewing machine like an old-fashioned sewing machine and like just random little things that would be such a perfect gift for somebody you know exactly yeah and they're like different different types of houses i mean there are like christmasy ones but then they're like frozen ones for kids and star wars obviously harry potter well i want to give a shout out to a website i found called old world christmas And they sell like very also very specific ornaments. I mean, very specific. They sold a deviled egg one, like just very specific foods.

And they have a whole category that's like foods and they have like appetizers, like cheeses and meat, like just every little type of charcuterie, everything you could want. I'm only listing the food because that's what I was interested in but they have every type of hobby and interest and i mean really if you want to yeah if you want to find something for a very specific person yeah i would check that out too so speaking of which uh i have a personalized dolphin christmas ornament what's personalized about it just a name or something yeah you can add text to it i think the one that they have in the sample is dolphins be wild and oh my god yeah don't buy a dolphin ornament just buy our pin you can go find that at what is it just go to our website and click on merch at the top beachjuicyandy.com basically just put a string on it and there you have your ornament so this the

the sample they give says i I swam with the dolphins. And then it has a name. I forget. It's like Teresa or something. So you can write whatever you want. But this is so dumb that I'm even reading this. But it's a five star review. And this one, by the way, was from ornamentshop.com.

We're back to the other one. It's called Engagement Gift, five stars by Susan. Bought this as an engagement gift my son and his fiance sorry i'll just read it as it's intended that i wanted everyone to know bought this as an engagement gift my son and his fiance got engaged what's happening i'm excited my son and his fiancee got engaged while miming with the dolphins whoa so stupid i also ordered a cubic zirconia engagement ring from another company and it glued to the fin perfect thank you miming with dolphins i just like saw that and i was like i love that obviously that's not what she means but how fun that is fun how unique i bet dolphins

would be pretty good at miming they're really smart yeah yeah what if it said i mimed with the dolphins instead of i swam with the dolphins like they made the typo when they're ordering it too or like they did that and then like just or maybe that's what happened you know what you know why am i not giving them the credit i don't. Because a sparkly ring on a dolphin that says I mimed with the dolphins is pretty much all I need. That's what I'm thinking. That's the most romantic engagement I've ever heard of. My next one is of the Skies of the Limit Globe Swift Ornament. It's a very detailed airplane.

It's for airplane aficionados or something they just have like everything here we go this is a two-star review i have loved all the airplanes in this series i would suggest an ornament of the yellow piper j3 cub it is one of the most popular small aircraft that was ever built it was very popular starting in the 1940s and continues to be a popular airplane to this day especially for restoration of the early ones end of review that's a two-star review they leave a two-star review on one of the planes saying well you should be doing this plane too you should be doing my favorite plane what the heck like i don't just this person's grandkids are like oh not again with the plane with the jf whatever the hell i don't even know like why like why bother doing that it's like you've tried this but have you tried this

right uh what a very strange request and what a very strange way to make said said request and i bet there'd be people who if they released one that was of the yellow piper j3 cub people in those reviews would say i wish there was a globe swift one just like this one you should they would be like that's the real one that i don't even know what he was claiming it did or how important it was but i bet there's gonna be some plane drama that's the thing it just oh you know what it does say bought for spouse so i'm wondering if like their spouse was like oh this was this is nice i wish they should do one for the piper j3 cub and so then they're like oh i got a review and mentioned that oh so maybe maybe they were like i took that as criticism

if they got it as a gift and went on to review it and said like, my wife said, here, I know you like planes. And I was like, well, this isn't my favorite plane. Who knows? Who knows? So mysterious. So, Oxenert, now I have, I'm back on ornamentshop.com and I have an ornament here for you called Touch Tablet Computer Female Christmas Ornament. Of course.

Of course. And I'm going to show it to you. Why? Just why? Why? It's a woman holding an iPad. Right? Yes.

That's exactly what it is. That's what it is. But like showing you the iPad. And is it just the home screen uh it is a home screen like yeah an ipad home it's not like there's anything special on it it's literally the ipad is turned away from the woman as if as if this ipad is being presented to you to display something but it's just no you're completely right and i'm noticing now also there is a picture of a cd-rom on the home screen of the ipad like like what you'd find on a windows desktop hilarious i'm like is that a cd-rom

so touch tablet computer female christmas ornament good news it's on sale for 7.99 i guess this one wasn't a big hit and this is a redemption this is Julia. Sorry, most of these now are redemptions because most of the positive ones or most of the ones I found were redemptions. I hope that's okay. Fine with me. Okay. Okay. That's all the permission I need. Five stars by Julia.

I love your ornaments. My friend and I have trouble learning to use the iPads. This ornament represents our problem. My friend loved it. She's going to Mexico for Christmas. So she took it with her and hung it on her tree and then brought it back after Christmas. End of review. That is so cute.

I know. I make fun of this thing and I look at it and I'm like, who would buy that? And then I'm like, okay. Okay. And also- That person has descended upon us in the form of a review. She took a bow and we said, there she is. you said oh what's she doing she's just pointing at a home screen yeah yeah and she's like we don't know how to use the ipad asking for help she's like what do

i do or she's like look this is my presentation they're like eject the cd grandma why did you shove a cd-rom into your ipad but yeah i love the line this ornament represents our problem which i'm like that's that line is so powerful like i bet there are so many ornaments that represent my problem it's so niche yes so so niche but like yeah now after hearing that i'm like yeah that's kind of cute like a cute idea and you can get their name on it like an inside joke yes yes this is so what a weird website it is very odd they fill fill a lot of niches i suppose 100 a fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture.

Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. So this next one, this is actually the most Christmassy ornament that we've had so far. Sorry, that I've had so far. It's called the Making Memories Cozy New Pajamas Ornament. It's two snow people with a snow puppy in pajamas. Very cute.

It's cute. It's cute. It's just a cute Christmas ornament. Is this also Hallmark? Everything I did was all in Hallmark. Great. And here's the review. This is One Star by Christine. I did not change the name.

Excellent. I like it. I bought it. My mistake. Will return it. End of review. Oh, no. Verified buyer. Oh, really? So she's like, wow. Oops. i bought it my mistake will return it end of review oh no terrified by her oh oh really so she's like wow oops i guess it has to go back i really like it why don't you keep it since i

bought it by mistake sorry i bought it my mistake oh return it girl she's like this doesn't belong to me it belongs to someone else how much does it cost 17 that's a pretty pricey they're like all that like that they're all pretty much all like that they're all pretty pretty pricey yeah that's that's pretty pricey for an accidental purchase of an ornament but i like it that she's like but don't worry it wasn't because of because i didn't like it yeah at least yeah so they gave one star wait for their own mistake i don't know oh it was a one star it was a one star which i didn't like yeah but um no people found it helpful and that's and i totally forgot what i was going to mention earlier with the poop the poop yeah the glitter christmas poop

the christmas poop those reviews at the bottom says was this review helpful for the first one 14 yes 91 no yeah there we go the other 25 yes 146 no holy shit so like the people have people at hallmark are my kind of people yeah they have spoken and they're like back off yeah and i did find so many positive ones like i read a couple earlier like that are just so cute and like yeah they just got it for their grandchild or whatever and why not man it's just it's a fun thing it's ornaments damn just relax a little bit it's not like a manger filled with like fast and the furious characters yeah see exactly that i could understand i would also wait hang on that's a great idea okay so now i this is where things get pretty weird a and her um Penny wrote in uh with a website so Penny

uses she her she for her pronouns wrote in about website called diamonds of the sea now I don't exactly know how to describe diamonds of the sea to you it sounds like one of those MLMs that has put that shoves pearls in oysters and then it's like, let's have a party where we open them on Facebook Live, which is actually what they do. And they're like all these different colors. Like, wow, you got an onyx. What diamond level are you at? And then they have one of those micrometers. Actually, what's it called?

One of those measuring devices. Yeah, and they pinch it for the and uh tell you how big it is and then you have to like pay to put it in jewelry like the whole thing is one time i watched one of those for like a solid hour too yeah we went through like a weekend phase where we were like watching they were all over my facebook lives yes and so i just kept watching them me too it was just weirdly fascinating it was fun anyway sorry so no the home page of diamonds to See is a little different. It says Merman Christmas Ornaments. So it has some Santar energy, but less aggressive.

Yeah, I would definitely say Merman is... More like hunky and less aggressive. Yeah. If you are the kind of person who wants to find the perfect Christmas gift for your partner, I would assume most of us are that person who wants to find a good Christmas gift, but whatever. Then you should see the awesome merman of the December Diamonds Christmas Ornaments Collection. Each of these intricately designed Xmas ornaments are made of a lightweight composite

and hand-painted and glittered for the final effect on your Christmas tree. There are not your basic fairy tale mermen. You can find December Diamonds Merman gay Christmas ornaments that represent nearly every... I like how they changed the name of the product. Now they're Gay Christmas Ornaments. I'm so confused. I can't keep up.

That represent nearly every line of work you can think of from a nurse, a barber, and even a cowboy. Basically, it's like a sexy merman in different outfits. Or different sexy mermen in different outfits. Okay. Interesting, interesting. So I found... A little insulted they didn't ask me to model for any of these, different outfits or different sexy mermen in different okay that's okay interesting interesting so i found a little insulted they didn't ask me to model for any of these but what about the podcaster one is there a podcast there is and it looks like they ripped off your likeness no you should sue i should so here's some examples of my favorites there's the queen's guard merman

uh the veterinarian merman who's holding a puppy and the santa daddy 2 merman wow yeah the sequel yeah and there's a bear there's like a there's pride i mean there's everything you can think of um oh so a human bear yes so i have a review of santa daddy 2 merman thank god i know i know you were wondering this is a five-star review by tommy jay verified purchase and the title is excellent this version of santa daddy merman was much more mature and sexy than the first version a few years ago end of review what very mature so much more mature like each three years so yeah i guess i guess a lot can change in three years yeah he put some uh what's the stuff that you put on your beard when you're a touch of gray?

What's that stuff? Just for men. Just for men. Yeah. Like where you have some gray. Yeah. Salt and pepper. Silver fox.

Salt and pepper look. Yeah. Oh yeah. Is that what Santa, I don't know what this looks like. Santa Daddy 2. I guess I should show you. I would love to see Santa Daddy 2. Why am I not showing you?

This is a very visual. I want to see how mature Santa Daddy 2 okay let me find you because i also want to show you um here merman ornaments there's also oh it said fatigued and i thought it it meant like the army i thought it meant tired like it's really tired i was like that's the one for me there's an october fest okay okay let me see what was the one i was gonna show santa daddy 2 obviously oh there's an october fest okay okay let me see what was the one i was gonna show santa daddy too obviously oh there's a bedtime santa oh there's also a who's your daddy who is it it's santa daddy too okay all right here he is oh he i i don't know what i expected oh it's very realistic looking. Also, the fact that he's holding a martini explains how he's matured.

He doesn't drink Natty Light anymore. He drinks martinis. It all makes sense now. And also, if you hover over it, you can see his bag of goodies he's carrying. Oh, I didn't notice that. What's in there? A sack of goodies. I carrying. Oh, there's a bag. I didn't notice that. What's in there? A sack of goodies. I don't want to know.

I truly don't know what any of that is in the bag. Is it just presents or is it actually like... I can't tell. Weird. Okay. Some objects it looks like. We can just leave it at that. Objects.

Let's just leave it at that. Okay. I've got one more. Okay. Great. Oh, wait. Oh, no. You figured it out? No no i just want to tell you

about one more it's called sticky buns merman sticky buns merman yeah what does that mean he's shirtless and well they're all shirtless he's carrying a plate of cinnamon buns these mermen are something else this is like this is its own niche this is its own thing so niche this is like the definition of goodness okay sorry go ahead these ornaments are wild so this is this is my last one uh this is of a narwhal oh it's just a narwhal it's so cute not just it's very cute i just mean like he's he stands alone like he's just he's simply a narwhal narwhal stands alone this is a two-star review it's cute it would probably rate higher if i hadn't bought the unicorn at the same time the unicorn outshines the narwhal end of review oh no yeah but the narwhal stands alone

not to them i know i guess if you have two horned creatures you can't help but true that's a good point them that's so sad though it's like yeah there's narwhal i loved it until i got this unicorn it's like this unicorn's so much better than you it's just like i made the mistake of really like setting the bar way too high it just seems so personal you know it's also not fair to the narwhal because unicorns are mythical and narwhals are real animals exactly like you never said chance i saw some reviews where people were like i can't believe this is a real thing what is a real thing narwhals like isn't it amazing that these creatures i think so it's one of those things where i never fault people when they really think narwhals are

like not a real thing yeah i'm like yeah i get why you wouldn't think that i feel like i've had to google it like are we sure narwhals are real but you know you can't make them all glittery and stuff because it's not you know up to code or whatever you say is that what you say about yeah it's not it's not like like encyclopedia britannica would be like that's wrong yeah yeah and they're a unicorn you can do whatever you want and be like they did release that statement about ornaments this year yeah but the problem was they released a miniature encyclopedia britannica for your tree so you really have to zoom in so no one could read it the narwhal section shoot except the seahorse read it oh the seahorse right so if you want to buy ornaments buy them from seahorses because those are anatomically correct uh by the standards of encyclopedia botanica so yeah that's exactly right well

that was my end so i'm closing my computer and just wow what a strange i'm gonna try to recover okay yeah the seahorse was like oh that's my neighbor with the big horn i didn't understand what he was doing over here okay so i i jumped ahead i got a little too um over eager because my next review is of sticky buns merman oh my god i thought i didn't have anything from it so i wanted to share it before but um basically it's as i said a shirtless buff guy carrying a plate of sticky buns. It's a fucking merman. It's a merman. These all have mertails. That's right.

Yeah, I keep forgetting that important feature. Like, don't forget that. Like, it's not just a man. It's a merman. Here's the description. Sticky buns merman Christmas ornament from December Diamonds Collection will never discriminate against anyone, no matter what you believe in.

What? Just this? Is that true for all of the others? Some of them are real assholes. Just Sticky Buns is not a bigot. That's right. Yes. And Sticky Buns Merman creates desserts that, you know,

we know what they're trying to say. Sticky Buns Merman creates desserts that show his pride for every person on this planet. Don't you want to knead his dough? Oh, dear. Okay, so I have two reviews of this because you're done, right? Yeah, I mean, yeah, we've made that pretty clear. Can you see me? I'm just like a blob.

Here is a review by Charlie. Five stars. Verified purchase. Sticky Buns now being served. While sticky buns are not on my list of favorite pastries, this particular sticky buns does make my list of favorite December Diamonds Merman figurines, so much so that I recently bought it to add to my modestly large Merman collection. My modestly large.

A modestly large Merman collection. I would die to know what size that actually is. Because I don't really have any merman collection to compare it to. True. So I'd love to know. What endears this figurine to my heart is his beautifully muscular and hairy chest and his thick beard, as well as his glittery fishtail bottom. bottom sure i realize he's only a figurine but he's got the kind of rugged masculine beauty that i would enjoy seeing on an actual male with two legs and a set of hot and shapely sexy sticky buns end of review wow um is there like a chat feature where can you can message is this like a cry for

someone to send them a message? Is that possible on this? Send Charlie a message? Oh, it's obviously called diamondsofthesea.com. Diamondsofthesea.com. The forums, maybe? Yeah, the forums. Oh, yeah. It's like Miss Connection.

Miss Connection. Which merman is your favorite? Yeah, so I love the lingo. Sounds a lot like what one of these Grandma Kathys writes. I was so endeared to this figurine but then it kind of takes a turn is like his beautiful hairy chest and it's like wow what a twist on the classic like yeah classic ornament by grandma review it's a classic classic you know you know that one, everybody. And now this is one more review of Sticky Buns Merman.

This is by Andrew. Five stars. Sexy. I love all the Merman models with the larger guts. This one might be my favorite yet. My husband and I have been calling him Paul Hollywood. End of review. Oh, my gosh.

It's a bake-off reference for those of you who don't know um sticky buns i'm sure paul hollywood would not necessarily be endeared to the maybe not maybe not but you never know um so those are all the reviews i have but i did put a couple links to my favorite ornaments i've discovered oh tell me about them that's fun yeah so let's see i have six of them i'm just gonna tell you mine were all just the Fast and Furious ones. Those are all my favorites. So specific. I don't know why.

Okay. So this is kind of in the vein of our iPad lady. This one is called Personalized Laptop Computer Christmas Ornament. And this one. Wow. It's a laptop. You can't read that, can you? No, I cannot.

It says Vaughn, YouTube and Facebook fanatic. Oh, dear. So, you know, you buy that for anyone who's an internet fanatic. Some of the reviews were like, my grandson just loves the internet. And I was like, oh, my. He must. They're trying. They're trying.

It's very sweet. It's very sweet. So my next one here is also, these are just like the most specific niche ones I could find. This one is called Personalized Fidget Spinner Girl Christmas Ornament. Wow. And it's a girl playing with a fidget spinner. You didn't have to turn that.

But there's text on her shirt. Well, her hat says Natalie and then her her shirt says, fidget fad fun. What? I don't know. It certainly was a fad. Fidget fad fun. That's true. Yeah, it was.

And also, the fidget spinner is bigger than her entire face. So I think fidgeting is not the right word. I feel like she stole a gear off of a piece of machinery or something. It's frigging huge. That one's on sale for some unknown reason that nobody can figure out it's like clearance weird weird nobody nobody knows why um this one is called personalized ipad tablet computer christmas ornament it's another ipad it's just the just the ipad and it says p is an ipad junkie wow jesus all capital

letters with exclamation points so very like they're trying to get someete is an ipad junkie wow jesus all capital letters with exclamation points so very like they're trying to get some this is an intervention ornament yeah oh yeah this is when you're like i know this is an intervention but i wanted to keep it festive and you hang this and it covers two topics pete's pete's addiction to his ipad and his addiction to collecting ornaments and his collection his addiction to methamphetamine. No, Jesus Christ. Just kidding. No, you're right.

His personalized ornament and his iPad obsession, which is where he buys all his ornaments. Okay, so I have two more. And these are the bad ones. And I don't know why I'm leaving on the bad ones. The bad ones? Yeah, well. What does that mean?

I thought I would do some exploring on incognito of the worst kind of ornaments i could find so here's one um on zazzle.com that says jesus is my vaccine i'm sorry what jesus is my vaccine oh dear jesus that is awful oh i didn't realize it had so many reviews you you i'm glad i'm glad you didn't realize that it has 6047 reviews is that just the shop or that specific ornament there's no no no no there's no reviews for this design it's you're right it's for other designs oh that scared me. That's a lot.

Jesus is a lot of people's vaccines in that case. But yeah. Granted, are there 6,000 people out there who would own this? Absolutely. But then you think about who would leave the reviews, and then it'd be like, that must be another level. So that's one. And then this is the worst one. The worst one than that's one. And then this is the worst one.

The worst one than that? Okay. Oh, yikes. This is also on Zazzle, which is really where you find some of the fun stuff and unfun stuff. This one says, fully vaccinated by the blood of Jesus. That is worse. That is worse. With an American flag.

So that's cool. What does the American flag have to do with anything? And Jesus is written in red, white, and blue letters. Why? Literally everything. And there's also a cross on the flag. Jesus has nothing to do with the United States of America. Well, that's where you're wrong, Alex.

That makes no sense. So these are the tags. So you can do tags like christian usa flag jesus faith this one also has fully vaccinated by the blood is a tag is a tag i'm thinking maybe that's that tag i think maybe that's what click that it actually doesn't let you click it because it's the only one that exists yeah so um fully vaccinated by the blood is they're just the rollout they're planning the the rollout. They're going to have more, a wider line. I'm going to hit follow that tag and get emailed when new designs come out.

Great news. Great news. Oh, I just realized I opened this not in incognito mode. And now it says recently viewed items. And it's going to try to sell them to me. So after I wished that upon poop ornaments... Screenshot those Instagram ads, please. That's going to be rough for me.

Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, that's that. I just was like, wow, there aren't reviews of these, but I just needed, again, my favorite saying, if I had to see it, you have to hear about it. Hey, I put you through worse last episode. Yeah. I'm still not fully recovered.

Well, yeah. Because for us, it was like 30 minutes ago that's true yeah um i'm hope i'm hopeful that by the time we're in minneapolis i've recovered when this comes out fingers crossed so anyway well you'll have read that book too i will have read the book christine colon love or death or pain pain pain was the third one yikes uh yeah things got sad i I guess. Understandably. Anyway, thanks for listening.

We've already revealed the theme and challenge for the next two episodes. No, we haven't. Do you have a challenge for this one? Wait, do we? You didn't do your- Oh, yes, I have a challenge. Duh. Well, I forgot we were doing challenges again. I know.

I'm like, bye, everybody. Okay. Did you not research it? Did you forget? Sorry, no, I did. So this is my challenge. It's from Lauren. And it's, do you remember what it is yes so the pharmacy one yes it's a drugstore pharmacy gives the wrong prescription yes well

how was that i was nervous about this so freaking easy really do you have any idea how many and and blaze goes oh yeah that happens all the time. I promise you, like, when I read that and when, like, I gave it to you, I had no idea how it would go. No, it was great because it was, like, it let me, like, find good ones. You know what I mean? It wasn't just, like, I picked whatever I could find. It was, like, there were enough that I could, like, dig through and find, like, wild ones. But, yeah, Blaze works. He worked at the ER.

Now he works in, like, telemedicine. But he was, like, this happens all the time. Like, the pharmacy will call and be, be like this person's name is on it and he's like I don't know who that is but I prescribed it like just things get mixed up I'm not making any claims here I'm just saying I googled pharmacy mix-up gave wrong prescription and I was alarmed I guess at how often this tends to happen not like all the time but enough that there are plenty of Yelp reviews about it oh no so do not take offense if this is your field I don't mean anything by it I just was surprised so this is a one-star review by Becca of a CVS in Washington DC and like I said last episode or however many episodes ago i'm not gonna say which locations because yeah i just

don't want to necessarily put that on the pharmacist or whoever so one star this cvs is a mess their pharmacy literally gave me the wrong prescription when i went to return it and get the correct one they said they were out of it and would special order it i waited a week and heard nothing from them i called the day before i needed to start it and said it had never been order and my insurance was suddenly not paying for it because the system showed me picking up on the wrong prescription as my allotment and they never logged me returning it they then put me on hold for 45 minutes it was such a headache they were also held up at gunpoint recently end of review it's that what they were also held up oh my god so was that like hey this was it's

so separate line that i i don't know what 180 yeah what that adds or takes away from that review i don't i like i don't know well what they were trying to accomplish with that mess so i think they were like man getting held up at gunpoint messing up as if it's their fault yeah yeah yeah okay because because i thought that also it could mean like let's give them a break no they went through that i don't think these employees went through a very traumatic experience let's give them a break but instead it's like yeah oh also they allowed this to happen like yeah it's like god they got robbed ugh yikes it's like that one that we see a lot i think we actually read it um on a between you and us and we still see it

because it makes its rounds on the internet a lot i think a pizza place and they called for delivery and the owner was like and like they left a terrible review and the owner was like yeah we had a medical emergency or something like somebody passed away and we told you on the phone that there was a medical emergency yeah yeah yeah yeah it's sort of like how inconvenient for me yeah yeah but um god yeah i don't know though what i would do like in a situation where you not only so like i also feel for this reviewer because if you don't get your prescription and then you return it and then they're like well we don't have that you don't even have yours we'll special it. And then they're like keeping you on hold and you're not getting your medication. I think the scarier ones were the ones where people said like they gave me the wrong dosage.

Oh, dear God. The reason it's freaky to me is because I've been on some of the same medications for a long time and I know what they look like. But if they look the same, I don't necessarily read the dosage on it every single time, which now I will. But if they accidentally give you the wrong dosage on the on it every single time which now i will but like probably smart yeah if you accidentally if they accidentally give you the wrong dosage that's something we're like yeah technically you could blame the person for not reading it but like you shouldn't i don't know it shouldn't have happened in the first place yeah yeah yeah it's kind of wild um so let's see here's a one-star view um of another cvs pharmacy uh this is by hayley and it is a one-star review of another CVS pharmacy. This is by Haley, and it is a one-star review.

Haley is an Elite 2021, fun fact. Now, I picked this one because of the photos that accompany it, so I will tell you those afterward. This CVS pharmacy gave me the wrong prescription, a one-month supply of a lower dose, and I was shorted the three-month supply of the higher dose. Because they already charged my insurance for the three-month supply, I am unable to get my medication, Now there are three accompanying photos. Okay, okay.

First one is of something called a heavy-duty sauna suit. What? Being sold in the CVS. It looks like a person put on like a tinfoil space suit. It's just a picture of that product? It's just hanging up. The product is hanging on a CVS shelf. The next one is of a Golden Girls Chia Pet that's hanging on a CVS shelf. The next one is of a Golden Girls Chia Pet.

That's also on a CVS shelf. And the third one is of a bunch of toilet paper. What does it mean? I don't know. But it's very clearly like photos of each individual thing. Question mark. I have no idea. But the sauna, the heavy duty sauna suit is like wow

wow it's like i don't understand i'm trying to make some sort of like connection here no clue uh no clue seems to not relate whatsoever to the review but and why are you taking pictures of those to begin i guess they sound weird so maybe that's why but why are they like why and then why the toilet paper i don't know hey it got our attention so it it got my attention it brought the story to the masses seven people found this useful two people found this funny and five people found this cool oh yeah that sounds cool so uh let's see. I have two more. This one is of a Walgreens. It's a one-star review by Lainey. When stupidity was passed around, the staff of this Walgreens stood in line twice. What?

I just think that's such a fun fucking line. When stupidity was passed around, the staff of this Walgreens stood in line twice. The pharmacy is a disgrace. On Saturday, I went to pick up medicine. They gave me the wrong medicine. I called and called and called, only to be put on hold every single time. Finally, I got someone who promised that my correct medicine would be delivered on Monday.

It wasn't. I was finally able to get someone on the pharmacy on Monday again after being put on hold five times and waiting close to 20 minutes. They promised to deliver my medicine today. It was not. These people are playing with my health. This is not a cold cheeseburger that we are talking about.

It is medicine. It is disgusting to deal with such unprofessionalism and lack of organization. The brass at Walgreens should look at how this store is managed and the lack of customer service offered the clients. Every time that I pick up my medicine, I pray that it is is correct i am taking my business to cbs across the street where their hamburgers are always warm this is not a cold hamburger situation which obviously is a crisis in its own right yeah well you know actually that's a weirdly like i they said that i'm like yeah actually they've got a point it's not just a complaint for making a complaint it's like actually i mean a cold hamburger might be a health issue as well yeah that might be worthy of uh talk to uh or like sending it back at least yeah yeah but yeah this isn't like a oh my order is not quite how i like the temperature i like

or something it's like oh you gave me something that that's like the equivalent of like being served you know what I'm not gonna say there's an equivalent yeah it's as bad as it sounds yeah it sucks it's pretty bad I did like that opening line that was quite something just like I read that and I was like powerful stuff when stupidity was passed around the staff stood in line not only once but twice they ran ran, not walked, to the nearest line. That's so bad. God. I just was so taken aback and so impressed.

Okay, this is the last one. I just thought this was, I don't know, something. I'll leave it at that. This is a one-star review by Michael of ExpressRX. Disappointed again. The only saving grace for ExpressRx on Cantrell is Deedee. I've been given the wrong prescription, a dog's prescription,

and now no prescription at all. Asked for a refill on a Tuesday, went in on Saturday to get it, and they couldn't find it. Had to wait for insurance to approve, that's why I asked for it on Tuesday. Was finally told to go home, and they would call me it. Had to wait for insurance to approve. That's why I asked for it on Tuesday. Was finally told to go home and they would call me when it was ready.

Dr. Jameson's people on weekends are disorganized and a complete mess. Never ever go on a weekend and if you can, only deal with Dee Dee. She seems to be the only assistant that knows what she is doing. End of review. Good job, Dee Dee.

Good job, Dee Dee. Um, yeah. Uh, a dog's prescription. Dog's prescription. How does that that even happen does that even happen i was gonna say like do no i mean pick up dog's prescription not a walgreens oh yeah this is rx express what is it express rx on canterl um yeah i geo oh he woke up sorry i said his name very loudly of course he woke up uh we like pick his prescriptions up from the vet yeah the vet i don't know i don't know i don't have i think you can order them on chewy and some other places

but yeah i never heard of picking them up in person but at a at a person pharmacy but at a person a human pharmacy human pharmacy yikes though that sucks that's yeah that's being like weird this doesn't look like my regular medication googling it and saying like it's a heartworm medication for dogs i'd be just wow yeah scary i uh yeah and it's so interesting though like hearing these i i will say like in my i've had one and i've talked about it on the show too many times oh you're in my one incident and it wasn't even that bad it was just like personally felt like insulted it was a little but um and it was just one of the appropriate yeah it was inappropriate but i've been to the pharmacy so many times i've never run into something like this me neither so like and

that's why i wanted to make the point of like i'm not trying to insult pharmacy staff like i've never had this happen to me yeah and that like you said i go to the pharmacy pretty regularly and i imagine so many are are understaffed have probably been understaffed. And then after COVID and everything, probably even worse. And I have seen some people in those lines at the pharmacy and they are not very nice. Yeah, that is a very thankless job, I'd say. I would imagine so. And very stressful because I feel like people, for a good reason probably, get very high

strung or whatever about their medication so i feel like it's a very it would be a very stressful environment it's you're dealing with very sensitive stuff yes and face to face with customers like who don't want to be there i mean yes so i i totally agree and that's why i was so surprised when i saw so many and i was like these negative they're like valid you know you're not like oh so it just sucks but yeah i'm i'm glad i'm glad you did it you did it i just was like so pleased that my challenge was easy not pleased that this happened but yeah yeah but we got some good lines out of it too yes we did so anyway on that note uh we are officially in 2022 we should have said that

at the beginning oh shit oh jesus but happy new year everybody happy new year we don't do uh resolutions i just want to my always resolution is going to be just see as many lighthouses as i can that's fun yeah and like i said i think either in this episode or last episode i've seen 19 or i saw 19 in 2020 2021 oh my god 2021 where are we what year is it i saw 19 in 2020. 2021. Oh my God. 2021. Where are we? What year is it? I saw 19 in 2021. So hopefully see more in 2022. How exciting.

I've got five in Ohio to see, I think. Oh my God. Up on Lake Erie that I'm going to go see. Fun. Yeah. He's going to TikTok it all. It's a little cold right now. It is a little chilly.

Anyway. Anyway. Thanks for listening, y'all. And we'll see you next week. Next week. It's another week in January of 2022. Weird. We're going to have to remember that date. I'll talk to you soon.

Bye.