Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 167: Reviews of Shein Products

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. hello everybody we are here on a rainy rainy day and i think we have the same the correct theme landlocked sushi i'm just kidding i'm kidding i like knew you were kidding and yet my nervous system was not yeah prepared we're doing she in reviews we are a courtesy of emma thank you emma and also isabella who suggested it a few months ago thank you isabella um but

emma suggested she in and said the weird stuff on she yeah so we got a lot of emails yes y'all were helpful uh so i have a lot of reviews wow go ahead then okay so this list uh the list literally a list from grace she her sent in um sent in a whole uh slew of reviews i'm just gonna read um a couple from her list uh and this first one it is a redemption but i wanted to say it first because because it's of a um a pea pod squeeze toy you know those like things that are popular like you pop them it's similar but different it's just basically like a keychain and it has like little pea pods that you can squeeze out okay like a sensory toy almost yeah two dollars um and i i'm gonna read this first because of a conversation we had when we recorded this week's episode this is a five-star review it's clear it's a pea popper and it's cheap and uh pea popper spelled p and i said in the last episode can you imagine if i

searched the word p everything you did i didn't it just was the first one i read and i said in the last episode can you imagine if i searched the word p everything you did i didn't it just was the first one i read and i was like holy crap my god because i yeah we were saying that you'd have more but now you're having more p reviews without searching even looking oh so this is like a field of dreams situation that's exactly what i thought i thought field of dreams i knew you would get it um so it's it's a pea popper p-e-e popper thank god not oh i'm sorry it's a pea popper pea popper oh no and it's cheap with two e's c-h-e-e-p so it's all over the place p what it's a pea popper and it's cheap, but like cheap, cheap. Cheap pee-poper.

Cheap pee-poper. None of the words being correct. At least it's not a pooper. A pee-pooper. It could be worse. Maybe that's what they meant. That's the problem. It could very well be.

So that's my first one. Just starting off strong. Oh, man. How do I follow that up? I don't know. Maybe we should just end the episode possible um that's fine with me okay uh no i i first wanted to talk about the the point system are you familiar with the point system on sheen only because so many people said vote for my review so i get points yeah it was wild that's like the extent of my understanding the amount of lyrics

that people just copy and paste and things. It was bizarre. You just go through these reviews and you're just like, this is meaningless. A lot of them were just copy pastas. Did you notice that? No. Really? I didn't see any copy pastas.

It's funny. And the only reason I know this is because so many people sent in Shein reviews over like the last couple of years that we've been doing the show and said, I don't understand. This has nothing to do with the product. And it would be like a skirt. And it would be the copypasta was literally the entire intro scene of the Bee movie. Yep. And that one is apparently a popular copy.

Oh, that's classic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So that was copy and pasted into a ton of them. Yeah. And had like a thousand upvotes. I feel like that's the way you do it. You make people laugh and mean and then you get your thumbs ups.

You're encouraged to leave reviews. You're encouraged to include photos. And then you get points which you can use for like up to 70% off of a product. Of a $2 product. Yeah. So like it's something like that. So the reviews were mostly like just bullshit because there are thousands of reviews on these products and like

no one-star reviews right also that yeah it was just so weird to see no all the i was trying to find bad reviews and it was so hard i mean they were bad reviews but for other reasons i would say a lot of mine are positive as well um so okay mine were just weird probably i don't even remember anymore but uh the first one and this weird rabbit hole i got into was the keychains oh the weird keychains it was in insane so this is a keychain uh it's just called fruit charm keychain but it's just a keychain and it's made to look like a slice of like a mandarin orange oh yeah um that's it okay that it's a cost a dollar i don't understand i don't understand the weirdest website ever i really

don't besides wish um it's strange anyway, here's a review of that. Speaking of copypastas, this in a way is one. Here's a five-star review. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud.

It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails, but where there are prophecies, they will cease. Where there are tongues, they will cease where there are tongues they will be

stilled where there is knowledge it will pass away end of review i am mentally unwell i am mentally unwell and i've been to so many weddings and i always hear that and it always makes me cry this person posted this in response to a one dollar mandarin orange keychain just to i nothing against you're crying right now but i'm just trying to bring you back a little bit i'll show you a picture if you'd like of it again you know what the worst part is what i am on antidepressants and i haven't cried in a really long time so yeah like i have a baby and i she doesn't i'm not crying i'm crying at this fucking mandarin orange review this makes me sad yeah

what do you think i why do you think i brought it to the table sobbed like a baby when i read this shut up wow alexander that is um that i didn't expect to cry during today's episode um literally just a plastic mandarin orange keychain that's not i'm not saying that for you i'm saying the fact that someone put this review i like that they were like b movie is just not poignant enough to cover how i feel about this mandarin orange keychain right oh gosh wow i guess they're i guess two birds one stone i know that's not the ideal phrase but two birds you feed two birds with one scone two birds one scone can i just tell you i wrote i was writing an email to um i was writing a it was to a mechanic i was trying to get a quote for something for my car.

And I was like, I mentioned, I wrote out to feed two birds with one scone. Like I wrote it out like I was going to use it. Oh God. And I was like, you know what? I can't. Not today. I can't bring myself to do this. Today's not the day.

I want them to give me a decent quote. Right, right, right, right, right. Sometimes you're like, I don't want to explain this right now. Yeah. Um, two. So is that that like that is the saying it's it's just a nicer way so you're just not killing birds see i i know but like the thing is i want that on a shirt for us but i don't want to take it if it's somebody else's thing i i assume it's it's already been done someone's ip i did not come up with that maybe we can make it like a more clever version. So two birds, I don't even know what I was saying, but two birds, two birds, one scone.

This person was writing a review, but also evangelizing. Yes. You know, they were like, while I get some points here, I'm also going to be converting Christine Schieffer only. Oh, it worked? Well, you did see me cry. So I don't know that it worked but it definitely didn't not work like i don't know if crying is a good sign or a bad sign for religious probably good for them i would imagine i would imagine if it if it gets you emotional um something's going right

for them true so the next one i have was also sent in by grace but this is actually a negative review also was that a positive review oh five stars okay good heck yeah i felt bad because a lot of mine are positive they're weird i think all of mine are positive okay there's no people don't give these negative reviews i only felt bad because of your editing where you would have to like be like wait is this a redemption or not with your music underneath christina i don't know what I'm doing with the music anymore. I'm just dicking around having fun. Dicking around.

I've been doing it by feel. I'm like, you know what? This feels like really not dramatic. Let me put the most dramatic music behind it. Well, I wonder what you're going to do for that Bible verse with my tearful. I've already thinking about it. My choked sobs underneath. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Jesus. You're going to put like carnival music. Okay. That's an idea okay so this is a review of pets in cartoon pet plush toy i'm just gonna show it to you because it's i i mean explaining these products is impossible it really is difficult so it's like a cat butt but it also has it sure is testicles is that what that is yeah It's a fat butt, but it also has testicles. It sure is. Is that what that is? Yeah. Is that where they go?

I don't really want to think much about it. Why are the testicles on top of the butt? I can't answer that for you. Explain this to the people. It's literally a tail with testicles. The tail has the testicles and the butt is underneath? Yeah. Like the butt crack?

Yeah. Is underneath the testicles yes and the butt is underneath yeah like the butt crack yeah is underneath the testicles trust me i see it but they just wanted them to be up in everyone's business and this this is a five dollar product so there's a cat and then there's a corgi and you can pick which one is it seems how are the corgis testicles let me check same same business same situation here um and the feet are underneath it so yeah it's very confusing okay well that seems feet underneath is usually where they go that part's okay but i'm just saying like the feet are here the butt is here and then like what yeah so it goes feet butt testicles tail tail yeah um and now here's a picture of a...

Real dog and how it should look. I think that would probably be questionable ethically. Here's a picture that a reviewer posted. It is of the cat butt with tail and feet, but no testicles. They didn't get their test testes so the review is one star i only bought it because it was advertised as having balls it did not end of review how does that happen though which i guess like i mean maybe it was just a neutered cat but why why are they different than why why does one exist why do they both exist why do any of these products exist okay i think that sums up this entire episode and then i'm gonna read

one more sometimes i have like a double review for the same product and i just want to read them together so we get it out of the way here's another one star get it out of the way please please another one star review by dominic all capital letters i hate this they gave me a completely different item and it was so ugly damn i was so excited for the butt ugh end of review oh my god they're not getting the butts why are they not getting the butts and testicles that they want why are they wanting the butts and testicles i mean and they're they're very cutesy i want to be clear like they're like plush so is this just a plush like for yourself like i like i really i'm i'm really i wonder if you're just supposed to put it up like against something so it looks like an animal is crawling into a cabin i i don't know i have no idea oh Junie's here. Junie's like, I'll tell you.

I've got an anatomy lesson for you all. Not really. He's neutered as well. Oh, no. He probably doesn't know. Sorry, bud. So, okay, that's that. Let's move on.

Okay, I love it. Thank you. That was $5, by the way. I want to list all the prices for fun. Oh, yeah. I've got a $13 shirt called Men Figure and Slogan Graphic Tee. Cool. And on it, it says Florida Orange Juice.

That is so cool. And it's like an old vintage looking. Oh, it actually is cooler than I expected. And then that's the back. And the front says Florida Orange Juice. Cool. $13. Okay.

Here we go. Five stars. Nice fit. Nice material. We'll probably buy again and recommend others to buy it too. I need to hit 20 words, so I'm just adding on whatever I can. End of review. They have not discovered the copyp yeah I know like a method I respect

that they're trying though to like at least give an honest review they said what they needed to say but just said it too succinctly yes so I do respect that it's it's better than we don't know how that's what that's like we've never heard of such a thing. Love that Sheehan is like Yelp and says, sorry, you need to be more evocative with your writing. Usually works well for us on the podcast. Wow. So the next one I have is a gas tank sticker. Okay. And this was also sent in by Grace. it's a sticker that goes on your gas tank

yeah i'm gonna show it to you or like the the door of your gas tank it's so stupid do you want to describe it yeah um it's uh it's the empty full like gas meter thing um and there's the needle is towards empty but there's a stick figure pulling it up towards full to try to get a i guess a little bit of a last drop out of this tank precise that's exactly it so that's how exactly how it was pitched to the sticker folks super awkward and if you zoom in i didn't notice this until now the face on the stick figure is like grimacing like he's trying to pull this. Yeah, you can't see it from far away.

You have to look closely, but he's grimacing, trying to pull the like ticker thing closer to full. Super great. Just hilarious. You know, it's $2, one size. What can go wrong? So this is a five-star review by natalie it's cute i guess but i don't have a car so i don't know why i bought it oh my god i know because it's two dollars and she and somehow sucked you into their nonsense like i don't get

it like i guess i see now why there are all those like TikToks and viral things of like Shein hauls. What I saw, what I bought versus what I got or whatever. Oh, that too. But even just the Shein hauls just because you can get so many fucking things for cheap. And it's just all, I don't know, you're gonna get thrown out probably. But yeah, why would you buy this? It's just if you don't have a car. Like, I don't know.

The majority of people who have a car wouldn't buy this. Why would you buy this when you don't even have a car? It's not even funny if you have a car. Like, it's not even funny. So yeah, to not have a car and be like, wow. I will say it is one of the most harmless stickers. Absolutely. One of the more harmless stickers I've seen.

If this cracks you up. So buy that over many others. Go for it. I'm with you. is one of the most harmless stickers i one of the more harmless stickers i've seen if this cracks you up buy that over many others but yeah i know i'm with you i but especially if you don't have a car what do you do with that i what do you have like a generator maybe like if you're looking at if you're looking at it on the the gas tank door lid thing like it's pretty big it's the size of the entire door it's not like you can just stick it on your just put it on your laptop yeah you could but it would be your entire laptop so it would it would have to speak to you you know on a very very intense level you'd have to commit to this sticker yeah are you willing to go there should be like a little warning

you must commit to this please sign this waiver no returns um okay my next one is uh another food charm keychain these titles are terrible they don't even describe what the product is um and honestly like i think i know i think it's like a some sort of this is the key chain it's like a split pea soup or something gross and the number of like reviews that were like same type of thing is like um why did i buy this yeah like i don't know why i bought it because Because I want it now and I don't want it, but I kind of want it. Yeah, and people were like,

oh, but the quality was great. Like I didn't want this, but the quality is so good. It looks like... What? It looks like those miniatures people make. Yes, and that's what these all are. Which are cool.

It's like these food miniatures, but like... And the thing is, so it looks like a split pea type thing. I'm not sure though. Someone was was like i love this chinese dessert and then another person said uh oh like my mom sent this to family in the uh in the u.s who are from the philippines and they loved it and i'm like what is this then like people people there's no consensus right what's the name of it food charm keychain oh so they knew what they were doing they're like we're

gonna keep this vague so it's so vague the food is in the eye of the beholder at this point and don't get me wrong y'all i'm sure there's a very specific food that this was like point of this but no one in the in the review seems to know aha it's just not there's no consensus well they think they know oh i see it's just nobody agrees except this reviewer does not necessarily it's at least knows that they're not might not be 100% accurate here's their review five stars ordered this for my friend because she loves green peas lol idk if it's peas or olives, but whatever. She likes it.

Much bigger than I was expecting, TBH. End of review. Oh, gross. So the other option is that it's a bowl full of olives with a spoon, like you're eating olives out of a bowl? I can say one thing very confidently. It is not olives. Okay, all right uh unless it's a type of olive i've never

seen before this is not maybe it's like pearl onions let me see them again pearl onions hold on let me i guess they're green aren't they these yeah these things are very green oh what the fuck are these oh these guys pearl onion they look really gross in the wikipedia photo from um okay yeah here let me show you the photo again here's another angle can you see that oh it's very cute from afar yeah but then you actually look at the yeah the the little wool you know what it looks like from here capers they do look like capers it kind of looks like a bowl of capers, but not. But to clarify everybody, it's like the person is eating them out of the bowl. It's not like a jar of them. It's like a bowl of them for dinner.

Like ready to be eaten. I don't think they're split peas either. Maybe it's probably something we don't recognize. Very true. Because we're ignorant. We are ignorant. I did type in many different combinations with the word p a lot of p talk tonight baby i did not spell it that way did you write p poper what it could be

p poper you think this is a p poper yeah that could be that could be maybe they're not black eyed peas those aren't green weird i don't know i know what we should do tell me i think some of these products we should put on instagram to photos just to show everyone what we ended up talking what the fuck is going on yeah just like to for reference to what we're talking about like the gas tank one the the p thing you know we're gonna have to do that for every single one because these are just so weird i know but we can do 10 photos per thing we gotta we gotta choose carefully we'll just choose 10 photos um the ones that seem to be the most uh visually like the cat with the testicles yeah yes that will that's important it's not gonna be slide one though we'll make it like slide three okay fine so the next one i have here was also sent in by

grace and it's a 3d cat print wall sticker what it is a 3d cat print it's a cat climbing out of a zipper sticker is that on a toilet yeah actually now why is someone using that sticker on a toilet so it looks like the cat is coming coming out of the back of a toilet i'm gonna be honest with you i have multiple toilet stickers in this episode i'm glad you said in this episode because if you had just stopped i was like in this house not yet shipping is taking a little longer because of supply chain issues but um this is a cat. It's a sticker that looks like a zipper is being unzipped and where it's open a cat is peeking out.

It's something. It's $2. In the photo, it's on the back of a toilet. And in the review, the person put it on the back of their toilet. So they saw the product and used it as intended, I suppose. As intended. That's a terrible...

I don't get it. Well, here's a five-star review by Nikki. Me and my son love this cat. He keeps tickling the cat. Stop! It's on the cat. Oh, stop! It's on the toilet. Then put it somewhere else. It's on the toilet.

I'm like, it's cute if it's just like in your room and you just like, but it's on the toilet. Maybe don't pet it or tickle it. That kid's going to start sitting on the toilet backwards just to- I was just thinking that. To tickle the cat while peeing. Yeah, like- A lot of peeing! Pay attention where you're aiming you know like don't you know just it seems distracting to have this cat staring at you but when you get sick of that cat it's gonna start aiming for the cat that's what i'm worried about you know i too i'm worried about

i don't know if it's a waterproof sticker or not it's only two dollars so that's why he doesn't tickle it after peeing on it like one or the other i certainly hope not my next one is a cartoon charm keychain oh god it's just a butt or is it the testicles aren't on top of it there are no testicles not on top of it like they're supposed to be that is a bizarro keychain look at this like zoomed in pic like this is oh god very graphic butt very graphic butt well it's green it's not really yeah it's not like realistic but it's like very detailed yeah yeah it's got it's got curves um and so it's just a small very small these are all very tiny keychains but uh here's

a review for that three star a three star review for that butt keychain very cute it's pretty much like the pic and what you should expect but i wasn't really thinking that the front might not be done it's just flat in the front but that's really the only thing i don't like about it end of review oh no they just thought oh they forgot to include the full frontal photo of this graphic keychain. Yeah. Because, like, this is the front. The front is just flat. And they're like, they wanted a...

As I would hope. I mean... Yeah, no, right? Like, I think if you bought that for the butt, and then you were like, there's a humongous penis on the front of it. Like, you'd be like, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is not advertised to be like wait wait wait wait this is not advertised to me exactly that would be its own product like that would be its own thing yeah i feel like if it's not gonna tell you that they shouldn't just kind of spring it on you um for lack of a better term because yeah that's like if you were buying a mermaid um figurine and you got it and it was like this really sexy merman instead of just like a mermaid

as you thought you know if you're buying this like little cartoon butt thing and there's like a penis on the front you're like what that's not what i bought why are you going back to the merman i'm just thinking i'm trying to find some sort of but the merman is very much billed as a sexy merman i'm saying it's like buying a regular mermaid and getting thinking that it's just going to be a regular mermaid and getting a sexy merman i don't know i call that more bang for your buck okay this i would argue a penis might be more bang for some people's butt i guess you could argue that yeah end of sentence let's end it let's move on um i now have another toilet sticker thank god this one is called slogan graphic toilet lid decal and it says have a nice day and it has a sunshine on it

wow wait that goes on the lid on the lid of the You see, this is the open lid. That's the inside of the lid. The inside of the lid. So when you lift the toilet seat up, the lid up, you see, have a nice day. Correct. Yikes. And when you close it, the sun goes, no. Yeah. And this sticker is $2.

Nope, it's $1 one dollar wow what a bargain and this is a five star review by benny21 an easy way to spice up the bathroom ugly throne much better than the spider one that was on it they had a spider sticker how many that wasn't a sticker that was just a spider it was a real deal but like why does everyone have these bath toilet stickers are we missing out i don't understand it's like our new uh that matt our new mascot that only patrons know about oh yeah how that's a whole thing stink master 5000 that's not his name stink boy stink boy like another bathroom decor yeah it's one of those bathroom things like do i just not get it am i yes should i should i open my mind a little bit

now that i own a house i have a guest bathroom i feel like i have i'm not using it to its full potential yeah do yeah you do you and your own but for the guest one you need to have stickers and deck that thing out you know stink boy yeah stink boy needs to show up yeah oh so true um so anyway the spider one i don't i don't know what that's about but thank you grace for all those thank you grace um i'm on my last one already oh shit i have a lot i'm sorry i've got i've got challenge stuff okay okay um these food i've got another one food charm keychain it says broccoli on a plate god christina i don't get it broccoli on a plate okay look at this that one's pretty oh wow it's it's 3d it's not yeah yeah yeah not the first one it looked flat oh no

look at this i mean these are these are wild no they're so so detailed realistic and there's so many that i went through that didn't have reviews i could find but like they have something for every type of food what the heck they've got ramen they've got sushi they've got all the different kinds of fruit um they've got a bowl of rice um wow they've got a bowl of rice. Wow. They've got just a piece of broccoli. If you just want one piece. Just like a piece of broccoli, yeah. A shrimp. Who is like, I know, a plate of broccoli. That is the one that my friend will love.

I have no idea. It's just so random. I have no idea, Christina. Here is, that's one reason to buy someone something. But a reviewer here has had a different thought process. Here's a five-star review. My mom thought it was stupid, so I bought it, and I'm going to give it to her at Christmas.

She and y'all are selling some weird stuff. End of review. And I'm buying. Keep it up. Yeah, no shit. They're going to keep selling it if you keep buying it. As long as my mom's hating i'm gonna keep buying that's funny i saw a lot of people say my mom thought this was so weird

so i bought it to like annoy her yeah what a strange angle to take i feel like this is something where it's very just silly but a lot of moms I could see being very passionate in their disdain for. Agreed. And so I could see that some people would think it's funny. Being like, I don't get it. Why? Yeah. Why?

Yeah. Why would you spend $2 on this? Yeah. Because it bothers you, mom. That's why. Merry Christmas, by the way. Yeah. And also, hey, it gives them a reason and an excuse to buy it. because it bothers you mom that's why merry christmas by the way yeah and also hey gives

them gives them a reason an excuse to buy it and it keeps she in rolling in the dough uh wow okay so this uh next one we got emails from riannon she her and rachel who by the way said i think christine would be an awesome guest on my Bim Bam, which is the nice thing anyone's ever said to me. Oh, wow. I'd be terrible, though, she said, right? I said, oh, yeah, she said about you. Well, I didn't want to read that out loud, but. That's okay. Just kidding.

So this is of a product called Clip-In Front Bangs with Side Burns. You know, I don't know what this could even be. Is this literally like fake hair? It's just fake hair that you clip onto your own head. So is the model also wearing it or just holding it? I think the model is wearing it and holding it. Got it. To say, look what it looks like on me. It looks terrible off of you.

Like holding it looks like it does not look appealing. It's freaky looking. I think they should have just had the model wearing it because it looks good. And I'm like, wow, that's cool. It's freaky. But it looks terrible when it's just sitting there. It's just hanging there. Yeah, it's freaky.

It looks like a little toupee for your forehead. It's $2. Toupee. That's exactly what it is. Right? It's $2. And this is a it is. Right? It's $2. And this is a one-star review. I have two reviews.

One by Rhiannon, one sent in by Rachel. Of the same product? Yeah. That's funny. Of Front Bangs with Sideburns, Clip-In, whatever. One star by Allie8. I looked like Asian Dora. Oh, no.

In their review. Two people found this helpful and then this one the review it's a five star it just says cute but there's a photo Christina that's what I was about to say I was about to say because I went through so many of like random things

and I'm going through these photos like first of all people take photos of their keychains in the weirdest places I'm like yeah it's like just take a photo of it weirdo like why is it such a thing why is it modeling or whatever you don't need to put it in and then um but yeah I'm this the moment you brought up this product I'm like and considering they encourage you to leave photos for points, I thought there were some good ones. I'm nervous, though. My blood ran cold. It's disturbing. What?

Okay, so here's the photo of the girl wearing it. Okay, cute. Like, that's helpful. See it? Yeah. Should I? I'm going to scroll up. Back here is a person, like, seemingly on life support or i didn't even christina

this girl is leaning up against a hospital bed and behind her she's literally wearing the bank so it's like a legit review photo she's like this is so cute and then you can if you look up above her head there's an elderly person lying there with like tubes up their nose like oh no not awake what is happening on this website hospital bed looking very ill um cute i almost didn't include it so i was like this is disturbing but this just goes to show even the helpful reviews wild so i and i think this was a very good insight into how wild this website and this is a legitimate review like this person clearly actually wore them to the hospital to visit grandma yeah this is i'm assuming pre-covid

because she's not wearing a mask um she has headphones in she's just hanging out on the floor of the hospital with her grandma in the background like unconscious with tubes up her nose oh my god it is disturbing i i do wonder because like hey you gotta be where you gotta be like you do you i don't know i like nothing against the act of reviewing it while they're but having it like why not just turn like 90 degrees or like crop the photo you know oh yeah true i feel like there are many would take an above i mean oh my god okay i oh fucking i don't know oh i'll show you the photo later closer it's oh good okay great oh christina did you make a sticker out of it for your toilet that's so horrible oh nope not yet not yet okay i will now we should sell toilet stickers

stickers why don't we sell stickers hey y'all put our if go to uh beachy santa.com there's a shop link uh goes to the dftba website. You know what I always say? Any sticker can be a toilet sticker if you really put your mind to it. Exactly. Buy our sticker and put it on your toilet. Send us a photo. No, don't put it on your toilet. Put it on someone else's toilet.

Put it on someone else's toilet. Spread the good word. It reminds me of dive bars in Portland. You go into a dive bar in Portland, every toilet's going to be covered in stickers. It's just how it is. It reminds me of evangelizing on Shein. True. Stick those stickers everywhere.

True. Spread the good word. Yeah. Tell the people what they need to live. Buy our stickers and put them on toilets. More fulfilled life. We will be checking if there's an increase in sticker sales. We will be checking.

Next up is this fried chicken necklace that we've... Oh, yes. That was in the original email from Emma. Next up is this fried chicken necklace that was in the original email from Emma. And Mary Kate Sheher also sent in some reviews of this fried chicken necklace. So I have a couple here. The fried chicken necklace is exactly what you imagine it to be. It's a piece of, it's sort of like your miniatures over there.

It's a fried chicken, but it's actually quite big on a chain to wear as a necklace. That's about it. Very realistic looking. Yeah, that's what disturbs me is how realistic all these ones look like. It's very strange. It's not like cartoonish. It's like it looks like a real piece of fried chicken. This is a review by Natalie. Five stars.

I have no idea why my son wanted this but after doing a few extra chores i got it for some reason he loves it and can't stop laughing he keeps acting normal and then sniffing around until he looks down at this chicken wing then acts all surprised to see it this kid is hilarious i think this kid is the funniest talk about physical comedy that is so freaking funny he's like what is that smell i aspire to be like you child this teacher kid's teacher must be so over it though and then sniffing around until he looks down at this chicken wing then acts all surprised to see it and pretends to devour it all i know is that this very unusual necklace has brought a lot of

laughter and happiness to my home end of review good very sweet that is really cute so that's uh emma and mary kate sent that in and now mary kate sent in a few more this is a five-star review of the fried chicken necklace which by the way has 5 595 reviews geez this thing is popular um this is by hannah five stars you'll feel just like audrey hepburn in breakfast at tiffany's when you wear this stunning piece of poultry on a chain poultry on a chain that got me good um this is a five star review by sarah my first sheen purchase the wing is quite large probably the actual size on a chicken the chain is long enough that i can slip it over my head. Really impressed and frankly unsettled by how realistic it is. I love it.

It doesn't sound like you love it. It is freaky. Like, I don't know if you can see this, but it legitimately looks like you just stuck a chain on a piece of fried chicken. And now this is the last one I'm going to read of this chicken by Nico. Five stars. This is what I bought with my going to read of this chicken by Nico. Five stars. This is what I bought with my first check. I don't regret it. It's such a Francisco.

It is. It's such a Gen Z sounding. It is. I got a job. I know where my priorities lie and I'm not ashamed about it. All right. So now I have an email from Tina. I was about to say I've probably spent money on like

worse things but i really don't think i have i'm sorry i have spent money on things i shouldn't have spent money on i'm sure i have because i bought things that did not bring me any like joy or like excitement i feel like if i bought this at least i could wear it around as a gag but i feel like i bought dumb shit where I'm like why did I I can't even use this thing okay that's true at least when you know what was that I bought that game console that's like the biggest regret of my life whoa just kidding oh you must lead it quite a life there's some kickstarter game like ouya or something I forget what it's called and I bought this like game gaming console that was supposed to be the next big thing and it was awful yikes anyway that hurts that never so yeah I bought one of those so yeah never mind I should

have spent that money on a hundred of these chicken you wrote a review though you got some points for that on she in right for that um so this is from tina I hope I'm saying that right she her sheifer and this is a review of a button front belted nurse costume set. So I have two five star reviews here. Okay. So this is a nurse costume. It's basically like a sexy nurse. Very sexy on.

Loved it. She and his not just for the young ones. I'm turning 60 years old. Love this play outfit. And so does my partner. Sexy and comfortable. Value for money. End of review.

I did not get a contained sexy stuff warning. I am so sorry. Wow. Here's a retroactive. Very exciting. Contains sexy stuff. I'm very happy for this reviewer. And now here's another one.

There's a photo, right? There's not a photo. Unfortunately, here's a five star review. We'll test this on my unvaccinated boyfriend. Good things to come. What does that mean? I don't know. I wonder if it's like, now will you get a vaccine?

I'm a sexy nurse. Here's my, I'm going to jab you. I don't know. I stole this dose of the vaccine from the CVS. You ready? I'm actually a pharmatech, and I don't know why I'm calling you a pharmatech. I don't know what the fuck you're saying. I don't think that's anything.

Yeah, I don't know. I love how positive this, like, good things to come. I know this is going to work. Whatever their plan is, is going to work, and I'm so happy. I like, good things to come. I know this is going to work. This will do it. Whatever their plan is, it's going to work. And I'm so happy. I hope it does. Uh-huh. Me too.

And now Emma sent this one in. It's who submitted the theme. Yeah. And wrote, like, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how hard it would be to find negative reviews. So out of guilt sent us some reviews. I should feel guilty. This is a pack of stickers that have like

sort of a qr code on each one that goes to a different song yeah like the spotify song yeah and you just buy a random pack of them that's kind of a fun idea right and then just random songs random songs but they're probably like just songs i know so it would be kind of boring i think they'd probably be songs that i know so it would be kind of boring i think they'd probably be songs that whoever made this is like i wrote this track and i want some downloads but i don't know it's two dollars for 68 stickers um here's a review it's two stars by ash i went through and scanned them all and only know like five songs. Still fun to look, but what was weird was it had the Rick Roll song like four times. I don't think they get it.

Are they just not aware? I don't think they get it. They even called it a Rick Roll, so they know. It's so weird that they had that song over and over. Yeah, that's the point. That, I think, is funny. It would have been funny if they were like oh they have my favorite rick ashley song over and over again that's weird so proud of it yeah i feel like

that would be funny to put on like a bumper sticker or something and be like you got rick ruled i don't know it's probably not cool to do that anymore but whatever um and now this is i think the last one i have this is This was sent in by Deanna. This is... Oh, amazing. Right? It's a cool motorcycle duck. It sure is. With a propeller hat.

Yeah, it's called Rubber Ducky Car Decoration. Got a propeller, actually, propeller helmet. Excuse me. And the helmet even has its own little beak drawing and eyes. It does. So the little ducky's wearing a helmet with a beak and eyes. Very cute. He's also wearing aviators.

He's wearing a chain necklace. He's just living a cool, cool life. Wish I could relate. This has over 10,000 reviews. So many that it doesn't tell you how many. Because it says nine nine nine nine and then plus so just a lot this is two dollars now i thought this was odd because i feel like well i'll just read it to you here's a five-star review i love this i got it for my mom's car and

i am not disappointed he is the coochie man. End of review. Here's a five star review. Why? Wait, are you going to talk about that? What just happened? He is the coochie man? He is the coochie man. We're just going to gloss over that?

We don't have to. Okay, because I don't want to. Because I'm very confused. Is that just a nickname? Is it capitalized? CM? It is not. It is he is, comma, the coochie man.

What? I think they're just saying he's cool. Is that how you do it? He's a cool guy. I've never heard anyone call someone else or a rubber duck the coochie man. Okay. So you're grasping at straws here let me read the next two okay okay and then we'll address um here's another five star view are they all good okay sorry best thing i've ever ordered from she and lmao meet

antonio okay end of review now here's one more. Okay. This is by Alex. Five stars. So cute. The hat, sunglasses, and chain are accessories that come detached and you can add them on. The little fan on top of the hat comes detached too and can be added on the hat with a small screw that comes with it. The glasses are kind of hard to put exactly where you want as they need to be stuck on with a small adhesive that comes with. Adhesive tape comes with to attach it to surfaces, which makes the duck able to squeak. I've named him Antonio because he just looked like a cool dude. Wow.

That was weird. We got two Antonios. That was weird for multiple reasons. One, someone else already used Antonio. Two, that was the most descriptive and useful review on this website, probably. Of anything on this website. of anything on this anything it literally said like the propeller has a little screw yeah the adhesive is what you use to get put the sunglasses on i mean it's amazing as squeaks i didn't know that yeah i did not know that either

so it's antonio the coochie man i guess that's just what we've got here for i don't i don't really know what else to say antonio the coochie man from coochie dip city and i have two brief five-star reviews here uh of the same duck one says i am in love with him and i would give my life for him and then it's just a photo of this little duck on the dashboard just looking like the coolest coochie man you've ever seen just being fly with his little propeller so cute and then the last one i have here is so ducking cute it's very clever okay i like that and now i promise this is my last one no i'm enjoying that i didn't bring many that's on me i'm glad it's just because we got so

many emails i just had to keep going uh they couldn't stop myself this was from an email from melissa she her um and it's of a um snail soap dispenser christine i'm trying to picture this so i see okay it was hard to see the actual body of this yeah the bottom is a white and you press the shell and soap comes out of his little nose i guess how much is this so this is ten dollars it's a big spender wow expensive yeah it's pretty it's pretty big too it's like a hefty guy it's not cute though because it's brown it's like very plain brown but it's snail it's pretty fun um this is a five-star review by tess works well and is absolutely adorable foam soap doesn't work in it though. Snail emoji. Poof emoji.

Poof emoji. Poof emoji. Branch emoji. Leaves emoji. Plant emoji. Green heart emoji. From the last picture, as you can see, sometimes they try to escape. I named mine Booba.

End of review. Excuse me? So we got a picture of snail on sink. We got another angle of snail on sink. Booba. I know. You're saying snail on sink another angle of Snail on Sink. Booba. I know. You're saying Snail on Sink. Why are you saying that?

Oh, Booba on Sink. Sorry. Booba on Sink. Another angle of Booba on Sink. Then a blurry photo of her hand reaching for Booba as he makes his grand escape. He's like. Where's he going? He turned toward the bathroom door and she's reaching to grab for him god what a life though if you're being used to just like just to bark like soap onto humans

dirty hands i know you get their dirty hand on your shell every day i just love that she's like it's not enough to just say like hey this works great she's like i need to tell a story with this review i do appreciate those reviewers more so than people who are like, I got to hit 20 words. Right. True. And you could have just done that with emojis because she put 85 emojis. Oh, I saw so many people who just copy paste a block of emojis. Oh, that's why they did it.

I didn't understand why. To hit the character count. So do you. So running away, trying to escape uh but i was kept thinking to myself why does the name booba sound so familiar booba it's not that that kid show that like weird like creepy thing with fingernails remember i don't remember the fingernails oh my god remember i read i read like a description like they removed his fingernails because what i don't remember that part.

He's like this creepy gnome. Very creepy, though. It's like a furry kind of looking thing, but with like a... I think that's... Oh, that thing. Yeah. Maybe I'm mixing him up with a different thing with fingernails. I'm not totally sure. Booba! Booba! Remember, he runs around and tears shit up and like destroys

the house yeah he does and everybody was uh distraught about it so okay now auxinor all i have left is a list of items that people oh my god have sent reviews in that i didn't read uh read reviews of okay just like just to like say what's on there yeah it's a weird thing so from grace here a couple that i didn't uh read reviews of but it was uh booba's claws became fingernails okay so it was a little more aggressive and now just like human-like fingernails instead of claws still bad um this is from grace and these are ones that i felt needed to be addressed one pair feet designed finger cover cat teaser for a dollar fifty wait feet designed they're little finger hats that are shaped like feet that are literally meant to just harass your cat oh my goodness okay

and all the reviews were like my cat doesn't like it i'm like yeah you're poking it with a piece of plastic uh next is slogan graphic toilet lid sticker that says in a very generic microsoft cursive font if you dribble when you piddle be a sweetie and wipe the cd two dollars then there's the close stool print glow sticker which which is a glow in the dark sticker of a man on the toilet with the word downloading underneath it. What? That's $2. Fire extinguisher shaped pencil sharpener for $1. And then from Tinna, we have a one piece snore stopping breathing apparatus for €2.50. What?

A breathing apparatus. Stop breathing apparatus? You basically just stick it up your nose wow snore stopping breathing yeah it doesn't sound good it sounds like stopping breathing snore stopping and then a cigarette pet chew toy uh then from emma i had a cigarette there was a cigarette keychain it was uh one that was unlit and then one that was like half done. Oh, it was like I'm the. Got a pack of two, one of each. Oh, it came with both. Uh-huh.

You can take your pick. Oh, my God. That's like a great friendship bracelet idea or like friendship charms. Like one of you gets the finished cigarette. Why? Whichever one he is. Why is that key? Like what?

I don't know. I don't know i don't know um so don't you dare buy me that from emma uh there's a heart print balloon for gender reveal that says baby is uh and that's four dollars so i guess you pick either blue or pink there's a one piece ladybug shaped random color corn threshing tool which basically takes kernels of corn off shaped like a ladybug what wait basically take your corn on the cob you take this plastic ladybug thing and you use it so the thing is shaped like a ladybug you don't receive corn i see it looks like a lady i see no yes my mistake it's a ladybug. I see. No, yes. My mistake. It's a ladybug-shaped threshing tool for corn.

That's $2. From Deanna, we have 100-piece disposable ear protector covers. $2. We have two-piece anti-snoring device. $2. Two-piece. I don't like $2. If you're going to put it up my nose, I think I want to pay a little more just to make sure.

We got a one piece portable emergency random urinal um and every time they say random it means random color i learned oh okay because i was like random urinal doesn't sound your favorite kind of urinal who's you can't even you don't pick you get a random type of urinal and the last one is a one piece disposable bath bag for two dollars which is like a giant plastic tarp that you put in a bathtub. To take a bath in? To take a bath in. If your tub is dirty or something?

Yeah, or I guess if you're in a hotel. Oh, interesting. It just grosses me out. Okay. And people are like, yeah, it kept sticking to me, but otherwise. And I was like, gross. I don't like that. I'd rather just not take a bath than

sit in a plastic tarp it feels like don't look at me i i'm with you i don't know i'm not buying this so anyway that's all wow what a website uh sorry that was so much no i'm glad i just wanted to kind of cover everything while i had the chance no i'm glad you did because we're not doing this shit i hope not no this was fun this was like that was a trip though especially like late at night going through some of these products i bet like when grace sent in three different toilet stickers i imagine it's what happened with you in the keychains where she just kept stumbling upon more toilet stickers all of a sudden oh time for my challenge uh this was from holly it was reviews from people who weren't invited so uh whatever that might mean okay great my first one is of uh rosen shingle uh, Rosen Shingle Creek, uh, which is a hotel in Orlando, Florida. Rosen Shingle Creek.

It feels so nice to be moving away from all these weird plastic objects to like an actual outdoor space. Just very like freeing somehow. Yeah. And it's a five-star review. Excellent. So, uh, it's titled Beautiful Location, Amazing Food. Here we go.

That's by Samantha. We came for a medical conference and had the best conference food we've ever had. The conference rooms were spacious, and even though there were several conferences here, we never felt crowded. This is a happening place. We crashed the night party of another conference because they had a great band playing out by the pool. End of review. We crashed the party at the another conference because they had a great band playing out by the pool. End of review. We crashed the party at the conference. I love that.

I feel like that's the ideal. You know, nobody really wants to go to a work conference, but like you bond. Yeah. You listen to good music. You have an inside joke with your coworkers. I wouldn't know. I've never experienced this. I don't either. I'm making it up like I know anything.

My only experience is watching The Office. That corporate America. I mean, that's pretty much what I'm't know. I've never experienced this. I don't either. I'm making it up like I know anything. My only experience is watching The Office. That corporate America. I mean, that's pretty much what I'm picturing. Like, we crashed the party. But hey, Orlando, you got a pool. As if I've ever been high enough in a managerial chain to go to a conference. Who am I kidding? God.

We should have our own conference. Wait. Now that. In Nebraska. In Nebraska. Hell yeah. own conference wait now that in nebraska in nebraska hell yeah uh my next one is of um roskilde domkirke what can't figure out what that is um it's not very it's not clear is that in german or is that in

a different okay if it were in german i wouldn't have said it like that that's why i was wondering but it's similar because you can tell like domkirke it's definitely a church yeah it's in denmark so my assumption is that was me trying to speak danish i see um but yeah uh it's in roskilde r-o-S-K-I-L-D-E, Denmark. Wow. Here's a five-star review. I don't even remember this one. I'm like, what?

I had a... I don't think I looked at the venue, what it was. You're like, nobody was invited to this church? I'm like, this is the first time I'm reading Roskilde, don't get in my life. You just screenshotted it. Yeah, I screenshotted all. I had a link as well, and'm like what what the fuck is this is in denmark i'm supposed to be speaking danish um here's a five-star review we crashed the

confirmation service without knowing it there is a sign asking for a small donation to enter but they just handed us a program this church has breathtaking view while seated in the pews. Walking around the perimeter shares history and information regarding this old cathedral. There's plenty of public parking three blocks away. End of review. Listen, Alex and Er. What? This is genius.

I wasn't going to baptize my child. Uh-huh. But now that I know you can charge people to get in. They didn't pay though. Oh, shit. That's a thing. Well, I'm just going to make it very clear that you don't get a pamphlet until you put something in the donation box. Fair.

It's not going to say who the donation box is for because it's for me. But I feel like this is quite the con. You know, you're like, come on into this beautiful service. Oh, just if you're generous enough to provide a donation, you can come watch the baptism. I don't give a shit you know the baby's not gonna remember your fans would pay lots of money to attend that event i'm sure um yeah well yeah we'll put feelers out see how many people are out see see how much money we can make from this love it um but yeah and i love how they just like showed up oh yeah there's a

confirmation thing uh we got a program for it and we just walked around. They're just taking photos of the ceiling while children are... What do you even do at confirmation? I don't know. Yeah, I don't... You know how I was like half an hour late to my confirmation because I thought it was at a different church. Yeah, I remember.

It was so stressful. I was so stressed. I don't remember. You get someone, your confirmation person, whatever gives you a way to the church i don't fucking know yikes i don't i just made that up gives you a way to jesus yeah basically um let's move on uh next i have a review of mars bar and restaurant this is in San Francisco. This is a three-star review. This is by Vivian. It had probably been three to four years since my last visit to Mars Bar,

which was prompted by a visit to see a friend's band. But another friend's birthday began with a drink there tonight. I arrived to find that I was crashing a bachelorette on their second of three strippers, complete with genitalia drink stirrers and matching confetti. Whoa. Nuff said. The ladies at the Bachelorette were more than friendly to our party of eight, offering extra cake, bringing the stripper over for a birthday girl dance, and insisting the birthday girl have some champagne.

Aw. There's a $10 minimum on credit cards, there's a nice outside patio, but I'm told the fire department confiscated the outdoor heaters, so dress warm if you intend to use it. Easy parking, and aside from the bachelorette, was completely empty between 8.30 and 10.30 on a Saturday night, which can be refreshing if you're looking for that. End of review. Wow.

Right? That's fun. Yeah. I didn't expect that these would all be so positive. I know. They're so wholesome, aren't they? I wasn't invited, but we had the best time. Yeah.

I love this. Yeah. I love this. Yeah. I want to go crash something. Baptism. Is anyone getting confirmed or baptized in Cincinnati today? We could go crash that. Yeah. I would love to.

Baptism. Because then it's like, yeah, it's like the bait, assuming it's a baby being baptized. Yeah. I don't want to care. I don't want to go to these big evangelical things where I have to be participating in the process no no um just a baby one just a baby one where like the baby's not gonna remember so it doesn't matter what you do maybe doesn't remember you can come drunk whatever like no one's gonna be so cute because he's in a little white dress you know yeah true it's like come on true pure so pure so pure he hasn hasn't married Jesus yet like he will in eighth grade. No.

Speaking of pure, I've got a review of Pure Lounge in Washington, D.C. It's a four-star review, and it's by Alexandria. I ended up here because a friend of mine, Cousins, knew someone that was having a B-Day party there. A friend of mine's cousin's... Okay, so... Say it again. party there my a friend of mine's cousins okay so say again it's it's a friend of mine comma cousins plural cousins apostrophe at the after the s uh-huh so a friend of mine comma cousins knew someone i don't know okay i think it's a friend of mine's cousins knew some new see i don't

know see i don't know okay basically? I don't know. Okay. Basically, they weren't invited. It's very clear. Yeah. They weren't part of this party. Someone was having a birthday party, and then it says, parentheses, basically we crashed the party. There, okay. Glad they clarified.

Yeah. Once we got there, we were ushered upstairs. I thought that was the exclusive side, and found out later that the bottom floor was cool as well. I really liked the decor. It was all red with light hardwood floors and once you get towards the back, there were plush white couches and stools. Also, the bathroom was quite interesting. It was like black and a textured material on the wall. The doors were translucent, but you weren't able to peek in or out. I loved the fact that a female DJ was rocking the mic.

She was playing some of everything. Jay-Z, old school and new, GZ, then Frankie Beverly and Maze. It was really bumping inside. I believe the drinks were cheap because my friend said the total came to 20-something. I had two glasses of white wine and they were super-sized glasses. And I know my friend had like three. Let's just say they were super strong too. I think this would be an okay chill spot. Not too clubby and not too loungy. Wow.

It's funny with this one. This was a 2009 Yelp review. Yeah. And it feels like it. I don't know why, but i got this weird vibe from it and then i looked at the date and i was like yeah 2000 this feels like a review that was written is it because jay-z was relevant or maybe that's what it was like the music or something but um something about it just felt very like white plush nonsense like i think that's like very much outdated now like 11 years years ago, maybe that was cooler.

God, 13? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. That was the year I started college in D.C. I'm trying to remember. Obviously, I never went to any fucking clubs until. Well, that's not true. I did go to a club freshman year.

I don't think I ever did. I don't know what I was thinking. Apparently, it's still open. I imagine that was cool then, though, like plush seats and red interior with Jay-Z playing. It does seem very 2009 now that you say it. Yeah, it just definitely gave me that feeling. So my next one is of the Smarts Banquet Hall. A banquet halls banquet hall a banquet hall it's a banquet hall it's a venue and event space this is in uh whittier california okay and this review is by neil one star

well first of all this place lags it on food. Second of all, I get kicked out because I wasn't invited, but it says open on Google. I rate it one because it looks nice, although I didn't have a seat for myself. Standing outside looking inside was cool. But no, don't come here. Even if it says open on Google, never coming here again. Wow. End of review. Wow.

You weren't invited. This is a private party. Is that what's happening? Yeah, it's literally a banquet hall. So like people have their events there yeah so it's not even a place like a bar this is a banquet hall literally an event space so what do you google like buffet or something like what is he trying to go to i have no idea it just probably came up on google as like a night out location? Maybe, maybe.

Event space? Yeah, it's called a venue and event space. And they do have hours, technically. They say they're open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. So they probably showed up and were like, huh, like, I'm going to check this out. And then got mad that they weren't allowed to like actually hang out. No, you're right. That's so strange.

They're like, it says you're open. Yeah, for a wedding. Like, what are you doing? That's so strange they're like it says you're open yeah for a wedding like what are you doing i don't get it that's very odd alexander yeah i don't know people people are weird like i would understand if it were like a a bar like a cool venue that served as like also nightlife banquet hall you don't really think of as like i'm gonna go grab a drink at the local banquet hall i don't even know any banquet halls but even if i did like well i guess i guess where we had like prom in high school like i would never think to show up there for anything for litter not even for prom i didn't want to show up for prom like the vfw maybe like a bank like a, like, but you don't necessarily go there unless you, like, know, unless you're part of it.

Yeah. Or, like, if there's a specific event happening there. Still. Like, bingo night. Exactly. Wow. You are not invited to bingo night, sir. You need to leave.

But that's the thing. It's not even like they came thinking there might be an event. Like, they just showed up. I don't know. Like, if they had said, oh, I thought usually bingo thinking there might be an event. They just showed up. I don't know. If they had said, oh, I thought usually bingo's on this night or whatever. I don't know. Usually there's a wedding on this night and they're not usually so strict about letting people in. I'm hungry.

Okay. I have one more. This is of Hugo Boss in San Francisco, California. Hugo Boss. Okay. This is a five-star review. This is of Hugo Boss in San Francisco, California. Hugo Boss. Okay. This is a five-star review. This is by Miles. Fiance and I crashed some industry party hosted at Hugo Boss.

The hostess was really nice. She let us in without much of a fight. We wined and dined and partook in wonderful and tasty hors d'oeuvres. Mind you, jumbo prawns and duck roll and everything delicious. We also left with a nice little bag of goodies. We were able to peruse the store. Beautiful collection. They have some really nice women's dresses too.

For men, you can't go wrong with a boss suit. End of review. Wait, I missed the invitation thing. Fiance and I crashed some industry party hosted at Hugo Boss. I was. Oh, shit. And the host. It says the hostess let us in without much of a fight.

Without much of a fight. Yeah, literally. And then they did the tongue stick out face. I forgot to include that. Which one of the tongue? There's many. It's colon P. Oh, the original.

Colon capital P. Yeah. Okay. I know. Yeah. I understand. This is actually a review from 2007. Okay. That fits. Yes. That definitely fits. No. Colon capital P. Yeah, okay. No, yeah, I understand. This is actually a review from 2007. Okay, that fits.

Yes. That definitely fits. No. So, wow. So it's an industry event and they got a goodie bag and everything. Yeah. Jesus. I know, right?

What are you doing? I kind of wish I had... Well, I definitely wish I had that confidence. Absolutely. How do you end up there, too? That's what I don't... Did they know it was going to happen? I guess they probably went shopping and were like, oh, Hugo Boss.

And they were like, we're having a private event. And maybe they did something like, can we just take a look around? Yeah, true. I don't know. Like, how do you... Without much of a fight means, like, they were very clearly not... But I feel like you got to look like you fit in. Like, you got to be...

If you're at a party... Industry event. Did you come dressed up already? I assume it's a fashion industry event. I'm wondering yeah wow if they showed up like actually dressed to impress that's what makes me think that they maybe had some plan they knew it wasn't like they didn't they didn't say they stumbled they explicitly say we crashed it so there is that chance that they knew this was happening we're

like oh let's see if we can get in and see yeah well it worked hey you got some duck roll or whatever the fuck as long as you're not like writing a one-star review saying they didn't let us in oh man i'm glad they made it they it seems like they had a good night wow this is a weird challenge but it's really fun what a weird i didn't expect hugo boss to be on the list of yeah i know right this was like the most random assortment of things I could find, I feel. It was just like... Maybe the Hugo Boss is in kind of an upscale shopping area and these people were

kind of around shopping at expensive stores and that's why they looked kind of swanky. I don't know. It's in the Westfield San Francisco Center, actually. So yeah, Westfield is a mall. I don't know what this one's like. Oh, it looks like an outdoor definitely has some uh that like swankiness kind of like a luxury christina that's what i was thinking of when i we talked about a couple episodes ago about the

italy the little italy or whatever in gattenberg oh my god i was thinking of italy that's what you were thinking of yeah i love italy um that's very funny i don't think i've ever been there uh taste of italy is what i'm tasting yeah there's a one well alexander that was very good i'm glad you did it you accomplished your goal i i i i feel accomplished i feel like you really just kicked it in the butt. I tried. And now I think we give a theme and challenge, right? Yes, we do. This is so confusing. Okay, Alexander and I are both thoroughly amused by our own choices here, so I'm curious to hear what we've got.

I love you people. Okay, so our theme. So next week we've got landlocked sushi. And then the theme after that will be uh from reena she her and reena suggests uh reviews of halls of fame so i'm sure there's some i was thinking like of course the classics baseball rock and roll like rock and roll but then i bet there's some weird ones okay now if you all know some weird halls of fame, let us know. I bet internationally, too, there could be some fun ones. Yeah, seriously, and very specific regional things.

So, yeah, Rina, hopefully we do you proud. Love that. So your challenge was actually from Emma, again, who sent the Shein suggestion. Emma, just full of quality suggestions. Just full of quality, and actually said in the original one, someday you'll pick one of my themes or challenges. Now we're doing two in a row. So Emma. Just got to manifest it.

Yeah, you're on my radar. So this is a challenge idea from Emma. Find reviews where the reviewer includes their own rating system. So thumbs up instead of stars. Like more bombs are better. And then her other suggestion or her other example is more bombs are better, et cetera. So I hope that's not too hard. No, I think that think that'll be do i mean considering we've stumbled on so many like i feel like if i seek it out you could go find more bombs are better guy and just read a different

one of his reviews i might do that okay you should because i miss him um okay so then your theme or our theme for the episode after that uh was just by my own brain and it's benihana's nice that's good i can't believe we haven't done that yet i was like one we should have done by now such a bizarre dining experience that i feel like could go really wrong speaking of bizarre dining experience this is a challenge from megan oh geez this is just so funny i'm writing it down so i don't forget. So I'm going to take it and basically what they said, but just make it more, I don't know. Okay. Your challenge is to find a review of a restaurant where someone sees a picture of someone they know personally on the wall. Whoa.

So whether it's a family member, a friend, they're at this restaurant or they review the restaurant and say, oh, my God, my buddy, whatever, has their picture on the wall. Jeez. Yeah. Like a Hall of Fame. Like a Hall of Fame. Or infamy. Depending on what wall it's on. It's like when we go to the Clifton Skyline and look around, just see all the famous people on the walls and pictures and there's famous people on the walls of the clifton skyline

yes christina like who like jerry springer oh fun and probably other nick lachey so locals very local things okay got it but like no and i think other people and probably like sports people too i'm sure if we by by two weeks from now if we managed to get me on a wall somewhere true we could pull this off that's one of my dreams to get on a wall me too lisa's on a bunch yeah i saw a tiktok of someone who uh framed a photo of um it was like a couple friends and they framed a photo of the two of them and then there's this escalator at their mall and like along the wall is a bunch of different photos of people and they just like stuck theirs in an empty spot and just kept going just just fit it in it's still there so no one's taking it down well that's how that works but i mean i

i bet it's there if uh no like no person who saw the video took it down that's really funny yeah so if you own a restaurant and you're feeling like naming a sandwich after me, maybe we can pull off a little quid pro quo here. I don't know. Shout out your restaurant on the show and get my picture on the wall. Can we do that? Okay. I'm just kidding.

Any of you have local businesses that want pictures of us on the wall? Even a franchise, a Waffle House, I'll do anything. I am not above it. We're not above anything. No, certainly not. Even at a steakhouse, you can say... Okay, that's my thing. Hang on.

The veggie... The broccoli dish is named after Christy. You know what I mean? You could promote your vegetarian dish with my face on it. I'll pass on that offer. I know those are going to come in, so I'm just going to already pass on it. I'll pass on that offer. Like if I know those are going to come in, so I'm going to already pass on those. Well, I'm in.

Whatever you guys want. Oh, I can't wait for that. All right. Well, until then. Thanks, everyone. See you then. On the wall. you