Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 17: Hospitals in Boston, MA

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

In this week's episode, we take on communism, mary-juana, and the feminist agenda. It's truly an episode for the ages. But don't worry, we bleep out the worst of it. Thankfully, the world still gets to hear about Alex's first (and last) Hooters experience. Come along for the experience of a lifetime, and spread the word using #octothorpe. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Howdy and welcome to Beach Tea Sandy Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I am Christine. And I am Alex. Hello, everyone. Hello.

And welcome. Welcome to our thing. Yeah. What was our theme this week? I came up with it. Lord knows I don't. And then the patrons chose this one. Oh, that's right. That was this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, it was hospitals in Boston. Yes, and then you gave me the challenge of finding a review of an airport where someone flew into the wrong airport. That's a good one, Christina. Good job. Yeah. It was a challenge. Let's just say that

you don't look happy no it might be a disappointing episode for many don't start the episode like that no i'm sorry you can't say that you're right normally you do that people will literally turn us off don't yeah don't do it yet quite yet we're tracking your i your isbn number nope isp number isbn is on a like a book your ip address oh yeah what did i say Tracking your ISBN number. Nope, ISP number. ISBN is on like a book. Your IP address? Oh, yeah. What did I say?

You said ISBN number and then you said IP. I said ISBN like on a barcode. ISBN. We're also tracking that. Yeah. Okay. Well, it'll be fun. Yeah. This is a fun one.

I can promise. All right. Let me get into my reviews of hospitals in Boston. Great. So my first one that I found was of Boston Medical Center. And this is from Reagan. Okay. Two stars.

Meh. I've seen better food. End of review. You have? You've seen? No. They didn't even say better food in a hospital they just said that they've seen better food and i god that's kind of i really hope so i think that's a brag a little bit yeah it's like yeah we fucking get it right again food must be real

bad in boston if that's something to brag about they do sell hot dogs on the street much like we talked about. At Home Depot? Yeah. Yeah. But mostly just outside bars, which really is a nice way to go home. That's all for that one. I wish it were longer because it's so ridiculous.

I know. I wonder what else they have to say about food. Short and sweet. Okay. Then my next one is of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Yes, know it well. One star from Indian. This is all caps. Oh, good, good.

A worker that goes by the name of Joaquin goes to work smelling like marijuana and is very rude. Definitely would not prefer anyone taking care of me under the influence. End of review. All in capital letters. Yes, and they spelled marijuana M-A-R-Y-J-U-A-N-A. So I think what they're trying to say is marijuana and you're really fucking it up. Marijuana, yeah. Wowza.

I give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't know why, but sure. It's kind of my role. It is. It is your role. Yeah. I would agree with them, though, that i don't want anyone under the influence of anything to do that to do any medical stuff to me i have rough like iv veins they don't show up on my arm

and etc but at the same time if you can't even spell marijuana how do you even know what it smells like and how can you tell i don't know maybe if somebody were on cocaine or adderall i'd be like sure you can put an iv in me really okay adderall okay but maybe not and your mind those are just the same thing well i just mean like hyper hyper you know i feel like if you're stoned you're just like i don't give a fuck about putting this vein in or this needle in properly i I guess. I also have a needle phobia, so I can't really get this up. Maybe if you feel a lot of pressure at work and you're like, I need to chill.

And then you do perform better. That's what Xanax is for. I'm not saying I want someone to smoke pot and put a needle in me. I think that's exactly what you're saying. And everyone knows it. Also, just even take a fucking edible, then nobody will know. Yeah, like regarding the smell? I'm married to one.

I feel like they would. That's why I'm like, why would anyone show up to their job at a hospital smelling like weed? But then again... I mean, a lot of people do that. I know. I give people too much credit sometimes. Everywhere smells like weed in California. That's a good point.

Yeah. But this was in Boston, so... Well, no comment. My next one is of Kearney Hospital. I bet you're familiar with that one too. Kearney? Are you calling me a Kearney? Yeah. How do you spell that? C-A-R-N-E-Y. Really? Okay. Oh, wait. I think that's a town outside of Boston. Okay, sorry. Well, it's in Dorchester. Yeah, oh, my friends that live there. Oh, yeah?

Uh-huh. At the hospital? Mm-hmm. Oh, wow, maybe this is about them. They smoke too much weed, they can't find their way out. Okay, this review is from... That was stupid. I'm sorry.

That was pretty bad. This review is from Cherise. Okay. One star. Uh-oh. They operated like they're still in the early 1800s. It's a horrible hospital and their parking is just as bad.

If you're going to die anyways, then Kearney is the place to go. End of review. Okay, I want to clarify real quick. I don't know if you know the answer, but I'm just sweating thinking about it. When they say they operate like they're in the... I literally was

wondering the same thing are you saying like do they use those outdated practices my god they do lobotomies at this place exactly dorchester what the fuck i just like oh that i just heard they operate i know and then like 1800s and everything from sawbones i'd like to i'd like to assume that they meant they were just like behind the times and overall. Like their parking meters operate like that. Exactly, that kind of stuff. Oh, God, I sure hope so. Because, wow, that really makes me sweat.

Oh, yeah. But I have a feeling that they'd be in a little bit of trouble if they actually did that. And I feel like people would know. Not just Sharice on Yelpelp don't get me started on the health care system of the united states actually don't because i don't have much intelligent things to say um but yeah no i agree i i would really hope that that in a major city would not be the case but i did i did just get my blood tested at a a doctor's office here in la yeah and they can't even scan the results to me or email them.

Oh, I thought that was a HIPAA thing when you told me that. No. It's not? I don't know. It's probably a HIPAA thing. You think? Yeah. Okay.

Then can we, well, it's a racist. No. No. Leave it. What do you, what? I'm the expert. I want to be smart for one second. I'm the one who actually edits these things.

I want to be smart for one second. So what's wrong with scanning my results? Well, emailing them. That's why I was saying they probably have a patient portal thing. Oh. Well, they definitely don't have a patient portal. I've never gotten results emailed to me, but they're definitely online. Got it.

I guess that makes sense. Anyway. The last time that I had blood tested was in 2014, and I had them emailed in my email, but then I remembered that they were because I took photos of them and emailed them to yourself to myself so I would have them so you broke your own HIPAA violation yes okay got it yes got it got it got it okay I have one more review okay this is a New England Baptist Hospital okay this is from John this is a one-star review. They allow you to go online with free internet service,

then block you from viewing a website from a legitimate legal business in Massachusetts. Their reason is this business sells guns. Shut the fuck up. Are you serious? Yes, I'm serious. Sounds like Joseph Stalin is in charge at New england communist stop stop it i want to frame that one this person couldn't freaking access a website where they like to purchase guns on it's like the most absurd thing i've ever at the hospital using their wi-fi and wrote a one-star review and called them communist because

of it i truly thought i thought we're gonna go in the direction of like i was just trying to buy a hooters muscle shirt online and they wouldn't let me because of boobs or something but guns is like a left turn yeah well a very right turn i guess but point being um yikes yikes is what my point is you're at a hospital you're like a nurse or something and i mean you're probably super stoned but like then you look over and someone's like on their phone on their tablet just like looking at assault rifles absolutely not i would not i don't want to imagine that but like why do you have to do it at the hospital that's what i don't understand why like why is it so necessary for you to prove that they're communists? To prove something, yeah.

Okay. Wow. Obviously, it's a principle. Just wait until you're discharged. It's a matter of principle. Have someone else do it for you or use your cell phone and use your data plan to do it. I'm hoping this person's not being discharged. This was a month ago, so by now, who knows?

All right. Who knows? who knows you know a lot of places to look out for in this country last year it was the home depot yeah last year caught on arson we've been doing this that was a year between these episodes there's a lot of violence at hospitals it's like really scary no i watched the uh the dark knight i really thought you were gonna say grace anatomy and i was like be quiet quiet. Oh, I watch a lot of Grey's Anatomy. I was planning on referencing it. I had a feeling. I'm only on season six though, so please no spoilers for the next 20 seasons

or however many they have. Like 48 I think. Something about, yeah, with 25 episodes each. Sure. It's ridiculous. We needed to take a break. It's so much. It's a lot. I stopped at a certain point. What season are you? Six. I think I went through a breakup in college and like, or like after college and watched,

I think six, I've laid in my like, how old was she? Like nine year old sister's bed and watched like maybe six seasons of Grey's Anatomy straight. And then I was like, okay, I'm cured a little bit. Yeah. And then I kind of moved on. It makes you feel a little bit better about life when you're like, at least I'm not experiencing any of this. The stoned nurses are everywhere, really, is what it's all about.

Everyone's buying guns. Oh, my God, the assault rifles in that show. Oh, man. Shonda needs to calm down with her communist agenda. I almost said regime. Shondaland. I think it's Stalinland is what it's called. Shondaland.

Shondaland, yeah. That's her communist country. It's not it's called. Shondaland. Shondaland. Yeah. That's her communist country. It's not a democracy anymore. No. Anymore? When was it? Am I right?

Yes. Okay. How about you go ahead? I'm all out of reviews. Can you imagine if we had like... A talk show? No. That's kind of where I was going. I figured.

Sometimes like when I... Like free reign to just talk to like give our opinions out like oh yeah no wonder people get in trouble for saying look what happened here we started 15 minute episodes and now we're at like 45 minute episodes because we won't shut up about things i don't know why people let us do this is what i wonder and then i found out my sister and blaze my mother-in-law are listening to this and i still can't shut the hell up but i she will hi sherry she will listen to this and I still can't shut the hell up. But she will. Hi, Sherry. She will listen to this because they're from Connecticut, which is nearby.

And Cy, Blaze's brother, works in a Boston hospital. And I'm not going to say which one. Oh, I was like, are you reading a review? I am, yes. But I've reviewed multiple hospitals. So it is a mystery. Okay. But so I think she might be.

And she's also a nurse. So really stoned all the time. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, God. I'm going to get fired from the family. Anyway, here we go. Okay. Let's hear them.

So I have my first review is by a guy named Filippo. Filippo? Filippo. Oh, Schlippo the Hippo. I think you, I thought you were going to say that. Yeah. My dad had a stuffed hippo named Schlippo the Hippo. That's really the end of the story.

He still has them. Yeah, he sits on the windowsill by the coffee maker. Yep. Okay. Filippo. Filippo. Fuck. Stop saying it.

Just continue. I even practice it on the couch. There's so many times that we don't even read their names. So just go for it. Like, it doesn't matter. Phil gave a one-star review of the north end community health center the north end community health center violates family privacy law there is a very strong feminist agenda throughout the place they are irresponsible

judgmental and narrow-minded awful placeful place. Okay, so that review... Okay, that's it? Yes, that's part one. That's the first review. There's no basis for any of these things. Well, the feminist is capital F, so I think that should tell you everything you need to know. That he respects feminism?

Yeah, their proper noun. It's a proper noun, yeah. That was icky, and I don't even know what the reasoning is it's unsettling and that one i will say was august 16th 2013 that was the first review then oh my god that was in 2013 yes when he thought that some this person is living in hell right well actually no heaven considering he's president yeah we flipped you know what i mean yeah maybe at the time he was going through something it's much like our friend, the beer guy, the Belgian beer man. Yeah.

Remember? Yeah, except the opposite, actually. Right. He had the opposite flip where he said, God forbid Trump becomes president because then I will move to Belgium. RIP. I hope you're doing well. So anyway, Phil, two weeks later, wrote an updated review of the same center.

I'm just going to read the update. Just imagine that, like, every couple words, the first letter is capitalized. Okay. For no apparent reason. Out of respect. Right, sure. My son's pediatrician told me that my son was required by law to get a vaccine. Oh, no.

I was unsure, so I returned to ask the head of pediatrics. She also said he was required by law to have it. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Okay, what? None of those last six words, feminist, stupid liars. End of review. Oh my god. Okay, what? None of those last six words were capital, by the way. Okay, of course. Out of disrespect. Clearly. Okay, but where does feminism and atheism come into this?

Oh, all over. All over? Yeah, they converge really quickly. Wow. I think they go hand in hand really so is joseph stalin's in there too i think oh my god and so is weed it's like a really big mess these hospitals did you see the city that this is actually in it's sponsored it's a shondaland is that it's propaganda is that what you're saying oh no the nsa is going to tag

this episode god what a mess um yeah so that's the North End Community Health Center. So if you don't want to vaccinate your kids, don't go there, I guess, is the moral of the story. Okay. And if you don't want to deal with feminism and atheism. And really, why would you? That's my question. Okay, so this next hospital is the Brigham and women's hospital which is near where i used to live in boston i actually have uh three reviews of this location but i i picked kind of clips

okay like uh like little highlight reel highlight reel give us the highlight reel okay glenn one star i would rather bleed out in a ditch than ever get treatment here again. Jesus. Nicole, one star. Nursing staff, F minus. Unreal experience. The nurses are very rude. No empathy, no compassion. I wouldn't take my enemy to this hospital.

That sounds like a nurse summed up, right? Oh, no. Right. Anyone who goes into nursing, the only reason they do is because they have no empathy and no compassion. Right. I think that makes sense, right? It makes the most sense.

The resounding qualities of a nurse for sure. Sarcasm. Please, God, don't get mad. Please, Sherry. I'm sorry. Sherry. Sherry's great. She's very empathetic.

She sent me a chocolate bar this week. Literally. Oh, yeah. You told me that. That's so kind. In a little booklet. A pep is. She sent me a chocolate bar this week. Literally. That's sweet. Oh, yeah. You told me that. That's so kind. In a little booklet. A pep talk. It was the kindest thing.

Okay. Next review is by Mr. B. Mr. Bean? Mm-hmm. It's very quiet. It's just movement. No. So, Mr. B. gave this hospital, Brigham and Women's, one star.

And I'm going to read you. So Mr. B wrote a long list of, like a laundry list of complaints. And I did not want to subject you to like all 45. So I just picked seven brief ones. Okay. Number one. Doctors are dismissive, evasive, and rushed. There's no way evasive. I'm like picturing them sneaking through the hallway in cloaks yeah

just hiding but like the patient looks away and they like jump under the bed they're also rushed so i don't really understand that but whatever i don't know number two beware. Dangerous antibiotic-resistant bacterial infections, which are treated by heavy doses of antibiotics, which weaken the patient further. That's it. Like, okay, they have antibiotics? Is that what they're complaining about? At a hospital?

I don't know. I don't know. I guess. Like staff, maybe? I mean, like, that makes sense. Like, certain antibiotics. Like, you know, it's a scary thing sometimes. But it's a freaking hospital. Right.

Number three, if you mention vitamins, supplements, or even healing teas, they look at you like you're an alien. Because they're like, why would you come to the hospital then? I want my dandelion root right now. Just do that. That's fine. No wonder they're evasive. But would you come to the hospital then? I want my dandelion root right now. Just do that. That's fine. No wonder they're evasive. Don't complain about the hospital. Just don't go if you don't want to go.

Yeah, I would hide too. Number four. They feed inpatients junk food loaded with preservatives, artificial dyes, neurotoxins, GMOs, and sugars. Oh. I mean, yeah, this is America after all. True. That's all I have to say. Number five?

That one I'm like, yep, they probably do. Right, I mean, sure. I think probably every hospital kind of does. Except the one Reagan went to before. Oh, yeah, yeah. Before Reagan saw the one. Yeah. She's seen a lot of really good films.

Yeah, true. Number five. This is probably my favorite every person who has surgery here ends up with an infection that's quite the failure rate it is it's impressive honestly quite a statistic right yeah someone do a study on that, please. Right, I don't know where the hell they got the statistics for that, but wow. Number six. Probiotics, Epsom salt baths, bentonite clay, vitamins, massage therapy, and all natural healers are taboo. Okay. What do you expect?'re going that's what it bothers me like hospital in a major city where they treat with met they went to medical school they don't

i think it's very possible to find a nice balance between things and like there are natural things that are very healing and good for you and can really help bentonite clay yeah as a face mask oh sorry i hit myself in the face with the glass i use bentonite clay as a face mask very good for your skin yeah okay but i don't go to blaze cbd for stuff you know like stuff like that an emergency room and ask for dandelion why are you giving a one-star review because the hospital doesn't do those things go to the the doctors for that. I just realized something. Like what? I think they have a capital F, feminist, capital A, atheist agenda. They're probably copy and pasting this on every US.

No, that's a good point. They're just like, oh, this is the downfall of, you know. They probably have an agenda and are trying to influence people who. Right. Okay. Well. It's a thought anyway. you know what mr bean that was a thought that's really all i've ever heard one now i also have another review of mass general

hospital and it is a one-star review by john this is my last one this is wild by the way this hospital sucks and so do its employees. After being assaulted and brought in by ambulance bleeding, I would never recommend this hospital to my ex-wife. Anyway. Wow. I asked for a glass

of water and was restrained and held down and drugged against my will. You know what? This went exactly like it sounds. I'm sure. There's definitely no head injury involved here whatsoever. No. Oh.

You need to learn how to bleep out on your thing. Oh, and Nurse Jackie, that was... What do you mean bleep that out okay oh wait okay okay okay let me explain you thought i was talking about the tv show nurse i was gonna were you gonna ask me to bleep out the jackie no the c word okay see that's what i thought was you meant for someone's name oh so you said nurse jackie and then I kind of started to say, why would I bleep that out? It's a TV show everyone loves. And then I realized what you said afterwards, and I was like, oh.

And then I looked you in the eye and screamed, ****. Stop. Okay. Oh, and Nurse Jackie, that **** was way too eager to cut my expensive shirt off on her power trip. Oh, this sounds like a freaking patient in Grey's Anatomy I think he was watching Nurse Jackie actually on TV oh yeah truly isn't she on drugs that's the whole point of the show right yeah I haven't I've watched like the first two episodes but yeah that's the entire point of the entire show. Right. Okay. F that place and it's shit stuff. Did they really say F?

F. Instead of writing out fuck? Yeah, but they also wrote with this C hashtag. What's that called? C number sign. Pound sign. Whatever. C pound sign percentage sign.

Octothorpe. Are you done? Yes. C. I think that's all the words I have for it. Octothorpe percentage Yes. C. I think that's all the words I have for it. Octothorpe percentage T. Oh. But then F that place, right?

And it's capital S. But how did they spell the C word? C. Octothorpe percentage T. Are you just trying to make me say it again? No, really? Yeah. Okay.

I thought they wrote that out and refused to write out the other ones. No, no. They wrote it with and refused to write out the other ones. No, no, they wrote it with special symbols. This freaking guy. Oh, no, sorry. Yeah, he wrote it with special symbols. Okay. So it's all okay. That means it's all okay, right?

Could decode them. You don't know that. He could be saying, that... Christ. That Christ-like figure who ripped my shirt off yeah he was into it uh-huh that club wait it's in a t right yeah oh that's cyst oh that's probably actually ruder than exactly no that's not continue okay that's. That's it. Oh, finish. Okay. Fiend.

Wow. I wonder what kind of shirt that was. That's my main... It's very expensive. He actually had written another review. He did the same thing with the updated review, but it was almost exactly the same. Like Brooks Brothers? Well, he didn't specify the shirt, but he did say he was beaten up in a parking lot and bloody.

And I'm like, so your shirt was already your nice Brooks Brothers shirt. Okay, no comment. God, what the heck happened? I mean, that's scary and stuff. But like, obviously letting it out on this hospital. I loved Boston very much. I miss it a lot. But I had some wild experiences with

people there were you involved in this i like my memory's a little fuzzy remember someone yelling octothorpe at you though i do and and your fists flying my shirt was ripped oh okay never mind it's not the same when i say it. Oh, yeah. But my ex-wife, I wouldn't even tell her to go. Yeah, don't. That is the story of Mass General. So that was a little array for you. We went from...

I think I know exactly what I'll do when I go to Boston. That's hopefully not go to the hospital. Get beat up in a parking lot. Yep. Perfect. That's that on that. And now I'm just just i need to know what happened here nothing great that's the problem i'm sorry no i just struggled because a lot of

the reviews i found were of um like transportation companies like limousine services taxis that said oh they dropped me off at the wrong airport i told them this one they dropped me off at the other that said, oh, they dropped me off at the wrong airport. I told them this one, they dropped me off at the other. Oh. And those don't work, because it's literally not... It's like LaGuardia versus JFK type friends sitcom.

My first thought was, oh, I'll do Ontario Airport in California. Because once I flew out of there and saw Ontario, CA, and I'm like, fuck, I got the wrong flight. You're right, that's very confusing. I was like, oh, it ontario canada what how the hell did i do that and then i'm like oh i don't have my also means california doesn't it right right yeah so um so anyway uh but i couldn't find anything there but here's a review not of an airport but of an airline, EasyJet. This is from Tofa.

Airline EasyJet, okay. And it's a one-star review. Okay. This is a terrible airline. They should have landed at South End Airport. Due to fog that cleared in five minutes, they landed us at Stansted Airport and told us that we could pick our car hire up at Stansted due to being the same company operating there.

When we went to pick our car up at Stansted, they said we would need to pay another 300 pounds. We went back to EasyJet customer service. They had all gone home. So we had to get a taxi to South End Airport to pick our car up another 45 pounds. And on top of that, they lost our hand luggage that they insisted we put in the hold. We've been through the phone calls with baggage reclaim, and guess what? They found it still at Charles de Gaulle Airport and said they would put it on the next plane to

South End Airport. That was December 19th. Guess what? They have lost it again. There is nothing about this airline that is easy. Um, I want you to please do that again because it was clearly in a British accent and you really fucked up. No, they're flying from France, Charles de Gaulle.

So they're a French accent. They learned English. Fine, do that then. No. Okay. I can't do accents. That's one of those things that I a French accent. Fine, do that then. No. Okay. I can't do accents. That's one of those things that I just cannot do. Me neither. Cannot. Hello, governor.

Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Hagrid. I can't. I was about to read. I can't do it. I can't do it.

You can't read? Okay, next. You have another one. Kind of. Okay. This is a very different. Okay, this is a redemption of Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport. Oh, God.

How hoity-toity is that, huh? And it's from Ken. It's a four-star review. Thank you to Nancy H for pointing out I had negatively reviewed the wrong airport. Sorry. What's his name? Ken. Ken. Ken, bud.

Okay. I have not had any issues with this Montreal airport. So, I will post the bad review according on the right airport in Toronto. The Pearson International Airport in Toronto. End of review. But he didn't give five stars, he gave four. No, four. review according on the right airport in toronto the pearson international airport in toronto end of review but he didn't give five stars he gave no four that's that did bother me like it's a redemption but not quite there nancy did for you i know nancy h coming through

i could just picture that exchange oh ken i sorry here's that you're mistaken. Sorry. Sorry. It's true, though. I went to Canada for the first time recently, and they were so kind, but like genuinely polite and kind. And I was like, they weren't kidding about this. My like one experience in Canada was at like a Chinese restaurant where no one was speaking English but me. They were speaking French? No, Chinese. They were speaking French? No, Chinese. They were speaking Chinese? They were speaking Chinese, yes. Well, I don't know if you were in Quebec or something.

I was not. Okay. Well, that's an interesting turn of events. Okay. I was with my friend Simon and his dad. There's a very big Chinese population. So, yeah, we went over there and had some Chinese food, and they just kept piling it in front of me.

I'm like, I don't know what I'm eating. It was so good. I'm lying. I saw Lisa perform across the Detroit border in Canada. Okay. But I don't remember what it was called. Oh, I don't know either. The security guard was really rude to me.

Like the border control? No, like the actual guy at the venue. Oh, at the venue? Yeah. Sorry. He asked if Americans know how to use a light switch. Because it was one of those we have to put the car key card key in the thing anyway that's so shitty yeah it was very rude but

that i went recently to vancouver and they really uh re-formulated my opinion of canada i would love to go to vancouver beautiful place um cool that was actually really entertaining i really liked ken's that was a nice finish a little redemption that he didn't quite go all the way. Yeah. Almost redeemed it, but yeah. But alas, Ken from Pittsburgh. Okay. Um, cool.

Yeah. So how about I tell people where they can find us? Then I have a listener review. Great. And we'll reveal our theme and challenge for next week. Fantástico. Yeah. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter at

Beach2Sandy, Facebook at Beach2SandyWater2Wet. Our email is Beach2Sandy at gmail.com. Our website is Beach2Sandy.com. Our YouTube channel is youtube.com slash c slash Beach2SandyWater2Wet. You can support us on Patreon

at patreon.com slash Beach2Sandy. And you can buy our merch at shop.sp at patreon.com slash beach to sandy and you can buy our merch at shop.spreadshirt.com slash beach to sandy damn you did all that from memory i did it he has his arms behind his back like he's in a uh i'm so freaking focused giving like a um a student presidential campaign in like the eighth grade it's really nice i lost but well you won in our hearts though you were running something it's something i'll take it runner up out of two so don't feel bad um cool wow okay i'm sorry i'm projecting okay thankfully i have something that will redeem all of this okay a nice review from

i guess alexandria that's a full name oh it's on apple podcast you don't have to be so salty about their name okay they gave us five stars feel free to do the same then we might read yours on our free radio show and wouldn't that be nice something for everyone have you been left with a feeling of emptiness dread hopelessness of humankind after listening about a murder? Sure. I know I have. Is that? Sorry.

Are you throwing shade, Alexandria? Oh. JK, JK, JK. We don't know what you're talking about. JK, JK, JK. Head on over to Beach 2 Sandy, where you are uplifted by the charm of Alexander and Christine's wit. Oh. This podcast is always filled with laughs and possible stomach cramps as a side effect.

Oh, no. Whether the laughter comes from ignorant customers who can justify not flossing for the rest of their life due to their, quote, career choice, or the lack of intelligent management who think giving alcohol to a two-year-old is amusing. God, I forgot about all these crazies. This is great. Write us a full recap. This is fun, Alexander. Trip down memory lane.

Really? Alex and Christine have the perfect balance between amusement and logic when reading these reviews. First time I've heard something like that, that we're logical about these. Correct. Yeah. I'll take it, though. I'm just going to grab it and run. It's the first time, but just keep giving that to us.

Garlic fries? You got it. it ugly strippers of course big toes duh and don't forget horrible museums that include dinosaurs there's something for everyone at beach do you take notes during the episodes because i don't remember i mean now i do but i would not be able to list off that many oh well no facts I mean every time that I write the description for the episode yes I have to like re-listen to it as I do it I'm like shit I forget everything that was 10 minutes after listening to the edited version that you send me I already forget what the hell we talked the amount of times you've texted me uh what's the challenge for next week what's the challenge and you can literally just listen to the episode but you just text me it 10 times

until it finally sticks. Because you respond to me. I do. You set the bar very high for yourself. I'm good at what I do. What can I say? I'm sorry. My brain is very full.

How about you give me, empty your brain of this next thing. Tell us what the theme is for next week. Okay, so this is in honor of um my new and beloved in-laws oh they're new ones yeah because i that's not blazes i got married in october oh well i knew about them i just wondered if they're like newer ones i not that i know of um and this is in honor of them. And also, I mean, I just brought this up incidentally, but Aunt Lisa, who's Lisa Lampanelli, comedian, gem and a half, who was actually here last night. She was.

I wanted to do something in honor of her. And so the theme for next week is comedy clubs in Hartford, Connecticut. Oh, fun. Yeah. Okay. That's pretty close to Boston, too. We're just making a little tour. I know, yeah.

Northeast tour. No, no, it's a good one. It all just reminded me of them. And if I'm not mistaken, Blaze used to watch Lisa perform in Connecticut. Cute. Yeah. Okay, I like that. So that goes out to them.

They probably stopped listening already, but... You ready for your challenge? Yeah. You actually mentioned this establishment earlier. Hooters. Yeah. What? And I wrote this before.

Really? I swear I came up with this beforehand. Why is that on the... Oh, we just watched a YouTube video. Okay. This is a review of a Hooters that mentions a medical procedure. Stop. Kind of like combined our hospital theme with Hooters on the brain.

Question. Yeah. Does the obvious count? Like a boob job? Yeah, plastic surgery. It can if it comes to it. Hooters on the brain. Question. Yeah. Does the obvious count? Like a boob job? Yeah, plastic surgery. It can if it comes to it. Ideally, no.

Really? Okay. So we're going with a nice little roundabout, like, still medical related, moving to Connecticut. Exactly. We're just kind of making a tour through the universe, through the almanac. Just cartwheeling our way through hell. Yes. Cool. I'm excited. Me too. And this means that we can go to hooters and film a video there one day i only go for the wigs and the

articles have you been to the hooters i have not i have i remember when dad went no he still complains about it to this day oh my god of course he complains about the dressing on the salad do you remember when i went no i got a text from my well that's kind of a spoiler but he texted my buddy logan our buddy logan and he was like hey i want to take you to dinner because i was home over christmas i think last year and he was like i want to take you to dinner and i was like oh okay uh where and he was like oh this place near my work stop it and i was like okay like and he's like i'll pick you up. And so he and his boyfriend, Nick, they pick me up. Who, by the way, neither of them have an interest in boobs.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing is they brought me and they like, we pull into this one place. It's like a Hooters. Right next to it is like this weird steakhouse. And I'm like, we're going to the steakhouse. And then Logan was like, no. Logan, what the hell is wrong with you? And he was like, I just want to see what you're like

in a hooters he literally just brought me to watch me with his boyfriend and talk to the waitresses and stuff like he wanted to see how and you just thank god he didn't tell him it was my birthday or something like he didn't go that far but he was just like sitting there giggling yeah watching me and i'm You know. I was so uncomfortable. When was this? This was not this past Christmas, but the Christmas before. Oh, I was picturing you were like 16. No.

You were full-fledged adults. Yeah. I was mostly uncomfortable because Logan was sitting there laughing at me the whole time. Like when I was ordering everything. And I was just like. You look like teenagers. It's a fond memory, though. I enjoyed it.

I now find it a fond memory. No, it was fun. That I've just adopted. Then we went to Dave and Buster's. it. I now find it a fond memory. No, it was fun. Then we went to Dave and Buster's, so it just might get even better after that. Gosh, what a wholesome day that was. Ugh, anyway. Guys, what a fun time we've had today. What a hoot, am I right? Oh, you are so right.

Uh-huh. I usually am. Let's flap our wings and get out of here. All right. All right, bye, everyone. Who are you talking to? Sorry am let's flap our wings and get out of here all right all right bye everyone who are you talking to sorry let's stop okay we're done okay bye Bye.