Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 175: Reviews of Exterminators

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

Your Bootylicious hosts are back!! TGBTG!! PTL!! Tour Tickets: beachtoosandy.com/tour Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Get your toilet stickers here: https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Conditions apply. Important message. We are coming at you live. well run for cover finally we had a show and it was in 2020 so we didn't have a show and now we have another show yes it's in cincinnati and it's in columbus so we have a show in cincinnati on wednesday june 8th at the liberty funny bone okay all. You got that. And then the next day, June 9th, 2022, we have a show in Columbus at the Columbus Funny Bone.

And we are so excited. So in the Cincinnati show, we're going to be reading reviews of Cincinnati locations in the Columbus show. We're going to do Columbus locations. So it's going to be a different show each time. So, hey, if you live in like Dayton between the two, come to both if you want. If you're a roadie and want to join us to get tickets, go to our website, beachgcandie.com and just hit, I don't know, tour live, something like that. We'll put something up there because it's not on there right now.

It's not there. We'll put a link. It's fine. You'll find it. We do have VIP tickets available as well, which includes a meet and greet. Ooh. So if you want to meet us, greet us. And I don't think. Take us out to eat us, greet us, and I don't think...

Take us out to eat us. Ew, okay. I will not be eaten by any of you in any way. I said take us out to eat. Oh, I thought you said take us out and eat us. I was like, no! I'm not signing off on this. That wasn't in my contract.

That's in the writer. Anyway, we'll see you in June. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Shoe Sandy Water Too Wet. This is a podcast where we read reviews.

My name is Zandy. I'm Christine. I'm still not used to the video aspect. I do have chip crumbs all over me. It was a foul start to my day. Start to your day? It's three o'clock. Yes, I will repeat. Start to my day start to your day it's three o'clock yes i will repeat start to my day okay i'm jet lagged i'm three hours behind hi jet lag nice to meet you i am jet lagged do not have the energy for two hours behind i was in denver oh yeah that's true so i have three hours so i'm winning um i haven't had coffee either or food today i've had nothing in my system or my medication

let's get going don't be like me everybody you'd be like me eat a bunch of chips in front of the camera hopefully d listens to this episode like a week late so she can't be like reprimanded the mixer is down it's on the ground but we're still good recording okay watch it like have tipped a dial like my volume all the way down and it's just now everyone's dream it's just me muted the whole time wait actually you should maybe check unscathed um it appears so okay we'll see if this thing breaks then it is not we are not unscathed oh my gosh too many cables okay uh this week we're talking about exterminators yeah but i have something to say first say oh okay you have a microphone remember when i said glass cow for some reason yeah i don't know

why i did that me neither like i know it's not that but for some reason i went i know exactly what it is it's pronounced that's weird glasgow it's obviously glasgow i've heard you say glasgow many times and at the during my and that's why you drink live show i literally say it every single show you say glasgow like sometimes four days in a row and i think what happened is that when i first made my notes i was so nervous i would miss uh mispronounce it on stage that i wrote not glass cow and i think for whatever reason i decided my brain did the fun like opposite game opposite day game and um i said glass glass gal. You definitely did. So incorrect. And even people who weren't from there were commenting like, uh-oh, people aren't going to be happy about this one.

Like, why would I think that? And I think it was like two episodes ago. And I was like, oh, I have a trick. It's called you say Glass and then you picture a cat. Anyway, I know it's late and people are still kind of distraught about it and i don't blame you because what a dumb dumb thing to say so confidently yeah that was the problem that was the problem and i instructed you on how to say yeah you did so glasgow i'm sorry anyway yes glasgow i'm so sorry uh that's all that's all i have to say

except that also i did i did buy the crocs uh oh people are still messaging me and i'm like oh i already did it it's too late i've not bought i did it probably within hours of our recording that day okay your turn okay uh so yeah this is uh exterminators i felt struggles with this one did you yeah i don't know why i read so many reviews and they were either very boring or gross, but not in a funny way. Right. There were a lot of gross ones that weren't pleasant and weren't, in my opinion, worthy of our show. Okay. Wow.

And as we know, that's a notoriously high bar. It's very high bar, but some emailers did a better job than I did. Agreed. Which is not surprising. I was about to say, I didn't have a hard time. i realized i use mostly emails yeah no so did i now uh because i had to um but here's an here's an email it's from grace she her who uh sent in a review and this is more of a game we're starting off kind of fun what positive review and a little game for you you don't have the energy for for nice to meet you jet lag but you have the energy for a game okay exactly um so this

is a review of the bug master wow um this is in somewhere texas um in what somewhere texas outside of san antonio uh austin this is in austin i'm sorry it is outside of san antonio most things are technically most things are i'm trying to be thank you i appreciate you a hype guy over here this is an austin so here is a review of the bug master by william five stars tgbtg amen amen and praise. Our inspector was on time. He was polite and very professional. He answered all of our questions. If we are going to use a service, Bugmasters will be our first call.

PTL. End of review. Am I supposed to figure out... Yeah, what do these initialisms stand for? TGBTG. And apparently it's a thing. Seriously? Yeah, it's a thing. Seriously? Yeah, it's a thing.

Thank God. What's T-G-B-T-G? T-G-B-T-G. Thank God. Bootylicious. There's no L. Oh, wait. Bootylicious is one word.

Forgive me. Forgive me. That was embarrassing. Gosh. So quick to prove me wrong um so thank god bootylicious and then what are the last ones tg you're you're actually correct so far i know i gave you shit but this is exactly what it is yeah that's because um can't do it hold on thank god bugs no you said it's a thing so it's not something it's not something he made up it's Can't do it. Hold on. Thank God. Bugs.

No, you said it's a thing. So it's not something he made up. It's not like in the exterminator circles. I thought it might be like the bug guy did this cool job. I'll give you a hint. The words afterwards are amen, amen, and praise God. Thank God. Be the glory to him. Thank God.

Be the glory. You're close. Thank God. Bootylicious the glory. You're very close god be the glory you're close thank god bootylicious the glory you're very close i'll just say it okay to god be the glory oh you said the first words were thank god i thought no i never said that oh i thought you said i was right with that one yeah when you said bootylicious i was joking i thought thank god was right sorry no i was tgif i was saying thank god bootylicious was correct which it very much was not certainly is okay got it and then yeah someone uh oh and the last one ptl oh right and that's the end of the review praise the lord what's that you're You're getting a phone call. From whom? From 555. Sorry, Walgreens is calling.

I mean. They can't hear you. Sorry, Walgreens is calling. I mean, my friends were calling. So I'm back. Praise the Lord. Yes. Good job.

Thank you. So talented. Oh, I know. Pesticides. The Lord. Pesticide tongue licking. Oh, I know. Pesticides. The Lord. Pesticide tongue-licking. Oh. Okay. Alright, this is my game, not your game.

Okay. No, I mean... Wait, what do you mean? You have a game for me? No, no, I'm playing, not you. Yeah, you already did it. I know, so you're not allowed to guess. Okay, your turn. Okay. Oh, my turn. Okay. Congratulations, I guess. Thank you. not allowed to guess. Okay. Your turn. Okay. Oh, my turn.

Okay. Congratulations, I guess. Thank you. By the way, how did you know what the... Oh, you Googled. Yes. Totally Googled. Uh-huh.

I totally did not know those. I thought maybe your church group used the same terminology. No, no, no. They use bootylicious. We have a very bootylicious church. Oh, boy. Okay. Okay.

But remember when Beyonce performed at that church? For real? Wait, no. Excuse me? What are we talking about? Wasn't it called... I have a slow brain today. Excuse me?

Beyonce at the church? I have no idea. Beyonce at the church? Two cannot take their medicine Beyonce mass it was a groundbreaking worship service yeah it was groundbreaking bootylicious

church anyway as I was saying two can also not hydrate eat or take their medicine so we're in good company here I'm watching the hillsong documentary docuseries oh yeah oh it's so good oh good i was about bootylicious finally dina we're finally watching the leo remini well that's a scientology one that's good too okay this is a review sent in

by taylor and it's of the names of these places by the way should have their own like uh hall of fame here because we've got bed bug bounty hunters oh my god that's good that's what they call bbbh don't do that in akron ohio and this is a one-star view by lonnie and it has a response from owner very unprofessional all the other reviews on here have to be friends of timmy teddy or whatever his name is i wonder if that's the one that you're friends with the one you don't know the name of the other guy yeah just that other guy well this gives me big um oh man i can't remember uh like tina what were those names that we had like someone with a hair oh my god handlebar mustache robbie long leg or long legs something yeah diana or something

my i just remember handlebar rock and tina rock and tina there was a tina i remember rock and tina handlebar mustache Robbie, and something about long legs. Somebody. Dina or Dina or I don't know. He was supposed to do a discreet inspection. The inspection wanted to be discreet and employees would be informed on my

terms, not the inspectors. He finds a bug and yells at it. Oh wait. That's not what it says. Okay. I'm sorry. I wish it did.

It says, he finds a bug and yells it in front of my employees. Yells? Oh, he yells and he found a bug. I really thought he yelled at it in front of the employees, which like, if you're doing gentle parenting, you don't want to raise your voice like that. Okay. You know, that's what TikTok says. I'm so glad i'm not on your side of tiktok um yeah this is uh that's why you're always yelling at bugs i love bugs i don't yell at bugs i love children too but sometimes you know people yell at their children anyway i don't remember

what i was saying what were you saying i was saying that I think this is a good indication that we don't make this shit up. Not that anyone's actually questioning that anymore, but we've had people say that we've written our own reviews. Because, yeah, you could have made that a lot more entertaining. Yeah, I could have just kept it in there. Yelling at bugs, because that sounds amazing. He finds a bug and yells at it get out of here bug it's like zach bagans takes all extermination extermination he punched the bug and got it out of the building he finds a bug and yells it in front of my employees he was scheduled

to do a treatment sunday at my business at six he gets there 40 minutes late and he has an attitude with me he left no services provided and told me he has s life you'll have all kinds of time with no work if you treat people like that also i think he may have planted the bug that he found that part i did not make up that is wild that is quite an accusation to tell an exterminator they planted the bug. They planted the bug. That's hilarious. He carries in his little pocket. Yeah, right? It's a Jiminy Cricket.

And then he yells at it. The bug's a paid actor. Oh my goodness. He better be paid a lot for the attitude this guy's giving him. Right? Another thing you can see by the owner's defensive comment trying to throw it back on me, the fact he was late then blames construction, other business, and anything else other than taking accountability for being late. responsibility for his actions and over you ptl and now i have

ptl oh yeah you have an owner response for this one huh btl blame the lord always blaming the lord i always do i know what does it mean again? Oh, PTO. Sorry. So this is a response from owner. Mr. Richmond, you are the most inconsiderate person I know to date. Initially, I came out and provided a free inspection that was anything but discreet. Mr. Richmond, I think the employees know quite well why they were being asked to get out of their chairs so that I could inspect them, especially after multiple employees had already spotted one crawling the wall prior to me inspecting. Furthermore, Mr. Richmond, I firmly believe that the lifeblood of every company in America, its employees, have the right to know what environment they're working in. It's unethical and immoral for you, Mr. Richmond,

to knowingly expose employees to bed bugs and try to keep it hush hush. Shame on you, Mr. Richmond. I was 38 minutes late on a Sunday night and I was greeted with aggression and foul language. I'm sorry if other customers have questions about a treatment that I just performed for them or if there's construction on the highway or if Mother Nature calls. Best wishes and happy Sunday, Mr. Richmond. End of review wow response wow so yeah uh you're supposed to be discreet so my employees didn't find out that yeah like when he's asking them to get out of their chairs it's like don't tell them why though that's insane he's like i'm just the chair inspector i just need to make sure everyone's posture is uh really straight oh my god

yeah i feel i do like that we get into some bigger issues like the lifeblood of your company yeah that got pretty deep ethically deserves to know it's like okay there's some patriotism sprinkled in there yeah yeah for someone who's yelling at his own employee that bug i feel like that's kind of a rude well the way i took that yelling at the bug i took it more it was like a like a exclamation that the bug was there not and not do you think every time this pest control guy goes to a place and sees a bug he just starts screaming like and acts like he's never seen a bug before that sounds like an improv sketch in the making right like a man who's pest control guy who's scared of pests or surprised by them it's like i can't believe this this building has shocked every time he goes and checks one of their office chairs he just starts screaming but can you imagine if

someone's like checking all the chairs and then they check yours and they're like oh we need to take this one in and it's like wait what was in there what was on there yeah pleased yeah and if especially if the person doesn't know that that they're there to check for bugs honestly i'd rather not know i'd be like yeah that's probably better oh yeah it's just broken oh my chair is faulty yes i do have it's like the grinch my butt does itch for some reason every time it must be the chair's fault it's a grinch where he takes it back to his workshop my dear he'll fix it up there and i every time it must be the chair's fault it's a grinch where he takes it back to his workshop my dear he'll fix it up there and i'll bring it back here wow i think about that almost weekly that's really strange oh okay i have another one from uh grace of a texas place

san angelo texas outside of san antonio i think that's actually a neighborhood in san antonio is it really oh man you really got me there i hope i got some listener too it's like what the fuck no it's not okay four stars okay this is bad this is with an owner response okay okay this is a four-star review oh gosh this is by caitlin they got rid of my rats really fast but one of my small dogs got into the poison and that cost me almost 200 dollars end of review oh no owner says hi caitlin thanks so much for the five-star review we're so glad we were able to help you with the rat problem thank you for your business response that's not a rat that's my dog oh they know what they were saying they were like sorry they're like i see a pest that's so bad it's a saint bernard shaped giant like giant dog i was upset by all the poisoned animals.

That was the only one, and I only included it because... The response is ridiculous. Well, yes, and, like, seemingly the animal is fine. Yeah, oh, right. Oh, yes, sure. It's like $200 later. It wasn't like a dead dog later. It was $200 later. Thank God it wasn't also the dead dog.

Could you imagine if it's a four-star review? One dead dog later. That's terrible. And now I have no more fleas and no more dogs. No more fleas, at least. wasn't also the dead dog could you imagine if it's a four-star review one dead dog later that's terrible and now i know i have no more fleas and no more dogs like fleas oh shit that's not what i meant no more bed bugs and no more dog this is not good and therefore no more please not we should not be going down you're right it's bad but i did see a lot of sad sad reviews that i didn't like and like inhumane traps i don't like that. Don't be neither. Those are awful. That's part of what I meant when I said a lot are just gross. Oh, yeah.

It's a little kind of horrible. And it's not good. I don't know. I think bugs is one thing. But then when it gets into like rodents and stuff and I'm like, stop it. Don't hurt them. You heard it here first folks stop it stop stop it do you did you hear about what happened here it was okay in the end what does that mean

what happened here we rescued a raccoon oh here in your home it was not in my home here in your on the neighbor's roof okay so you have not heard the story no i'll be very quick basically they were doing some um they were doing some uh i guess exterminating i don't know the right word they were trying to get rid of a pest a raccoon an animal i assume they heard on their roof and they put out a big trap and one day blaze was at work in his office up here and he looked out the window and there was a raccoon in the trap and he was like okay there's like food and water in there i'm assuming they're gonna come get it the next day rolls around raccoon is still in trap no and this idiot blaze sends me a photo of it and i spiral into madness because there he says there's no food

left this thing is just like curled up and like it was terrible i got so distraught that um you know i have deep phone anxiety i did not care i began calling all of the local like uh humane whatever numbers of the police state like the non-emergency line the police station which is apparently what you're supposed to do in kentucky when there's an animal there's a raccoon in a trap on a roof being inhumanely treated and they forwarded me to the right number etc so i talked to a few people and they were like okay we'll we'll handle it blah blah blah 12 hours go by nothing nothing raccoon is still there thankfully it's at least raining so there's water there so he can drink some water jesus but now he's sitting in the rain

with no food oh my god he's been there for like two or three days yeah terrible i called mom because i didn't know what else to do and of course she was like i know i'll bring a ladder and we'll climb across to the roof before this gets too exciting we didn't end up doing that because blaze went over to the neighbors multiple times and we're finally they answered the door and he was like there's a raccoon on your roof and we've already called emergency or not emergency lines blah blah blah you need to take it somewhere and let it free and they were like oh we had no idea and so they went and let it free but anyway it was a, oh, we had no idea. And so they went and let it free. But anyway, it was a very dramatic day for me. And so now when I read of these sad animals

being stuck in cages, I get very sad. Anyway, that's my story. It's not very exciting, except for it was a horrible day. No, I'm glad it ended well. That sounds terrible. I don't know what I'd do.

It was, we were, because the roof is only a few feet away, we really were going to, I was going to climb over there. I don't care. Do you imagine them just like. They're like, we caught the animal.

We hear him up there. They walk up and it's me. You end up in the trap and the raccoons on the outside. And I'm like, there's no food left. Wait, what if that happened? Mom comes with a ladder, gets trapped in a trap too but what if that happened and then the people i called the non-emergency line humane folks came animal control folks came and found me in the trap and they're like somebody called about this

anyway and then it's like yeah blaze like yeah i called i didn't think it was an emergency because i called the non-emergency she's been there for three days it's looking like it's raining so it's okay she's got water don't worry she's okay okay anyway sorry that's it's ultimately a boring story because we did not climb on the roof but i uh we did get a ladder ready to to crawl across the roof i'm glad i'm glad you were prepared i was risk your life for this raccoon i I didn't even think. No, you didn't. Well, okay. End of story. Anyway, is it my turn?

I have no idea. Sure. This is a review of Terminix on Trust Pilot. And this was also, I believe, sent in by Taylor. It's a one-star review by Sal. The title is, Sit in the Car or Urinate on Your Yard? Is this a new game show? It's a new game show.

Which would you rather? Sit in my car. Boo. Incorrect. Have had tech show up and sit in the car and never get out while he checked off that he did the job. tech show up and sit in the car i never get out while he checked off that he did the job today i have a video on my ring cam of the tech looking around and proceeds to urinate on my property oh he was just exterminated he was exterminated it's organic extermination organic pesticide yeah that's how that works with my ring camera in front of him i'm not certain what service i'm

paying for not worth the money and very poor quality text end of review that's so i feel like that's kind of thing you could post on tiktok like somebody peeing in your yard like why not just ask to use the bathroom which even if you're i don't know i i was in okay d and i were just in um la area and we went to um um we went to a couple lighthouses and one was right by like a park with a playground with children and we get out of our car and it's a bunch of park cars and i like hear splashing no and i look over and d is peeing everywhere my shoes it was terrible no um there's a guy with his door open like his car door open and he's standing behind it to like shield himself and he's just peeing onto the ground so i didn't see anything other than the pee but i was like looked over and i was like, Oh, okay. I'm not going to be watching that. Comps have taught me. That's how you become,

that's how you end up on the, uh, what do you call it? List the sex offender registry or whatever. Um, then we walk like 10 feet and there's a bathroom right there. See, I don't know.

Like I figured they're just, I mean, okay, just period. There was not enough thought put in there. Just look around you're at a park it's like a big nice park there's also a lighthouse you can see if they have a bathroom you can pee there you can pee off the top that's what i did and i was like okay we're

all going down i was like oh i'm gonna wait back and do some tick-tocking you're like this is my lighthouse now yeah and then i peed everywhere it's all mine um it's all mine yeah it is all mine now that was fun but um anyway anyway i know i mean don't do that but if you're the kind of person who hides in your car and pretends like you did the job i don't think you're gonna go and ask you can you imagine if he went and used the bathroom and then was like anyway i'll be going now i completed the job like he can't really quite pretend it's like it makes your well then again peeing in front of the camera also makes it harder to prove you did your job so i guess my point is the guy goes back and the boss is like hey like they're telling me you didn't do the job he's like what are you my dna is everywhere trust me boss you know how you buy those d DNA kits and those luminol.

You'd use luminol to test for where my urine and blood is. You'll find it all over that yard. Oh, love it. They had fire ants and I got rid of them. Oh, dear God. Drowned. I drowned fire ants in pee. Yikes.

Okay. My next one. This is a dumbest show. This is terrible. This is from JP. she her uh jp you know what jp i'm putting you on blast here jp sent an email and most of the text is like cyan i can't read it for shit why on earth is it in cyan i don't know is it in comic sans i'm picturing a whole set no no no it's like

everything's normal it just happens to be in cyan it seems like a mistake oh it changes colors like suddenly the the colors get darker as you go what it's ombre no the numbers like they're numbered reviews and then like as you go with the numbers suddenly there's a darker number. She color coded them for you in your... But like all the regular texts is like also cyan. Oh, I certainly can't read that. I can't read anything. It's giving me quite a headache. Why don't you highlight it?

Christina, look at it highlighted. Oh my God, it highlights in cyan on top of cyan. What's going on? It's like blue, the blue highlight on top of cyan. That's truly insane insane i think it's pretty funny uh thank you for the content for sending it this way so i have more things to talk about and waste time um this is of bug masters llc virginia beach virginia uh and this is something that jp has um experience with okay and based on the review so i'm not reading all of them but jp sent

eight reviews nine reviews sorry and there's a theme sorry multiple themes um it is quite something with this this company and this uh this owner um but here is a review, one-star review. This is by Rhonda. I had a three-star review, but now it is one-star. I had updated a review as there were frustrations with the service, such as a requirement to have a certified letter to cancel, but no one was at the address to receive. No one requires this to cancel services. And that there are so many positive reviews because he gives a discount for a customer to do this i receive a call from the bug master's owner today and i promptly hung up because i've read other reviews on his harassment he leaves a voicemail asking why i updated my google review after many years and that he knows i wouldn't hang up on someone he then tells me he may stop by my house

to see how the family is doing sir this is a business relationship and i think you have issues letting go if someone leaves a negative review use the info to improve your business don't harass past customers i had nothing but constructive feedback i didn't share my experience with others in the community but i will sure do it now as i have many connections to stay away from someone who calls past customers beware of someone who can't take constructive criticism beware end of review holy shit yeah i don't like how's your family doing ronda he meant like the family of rats that they exterminated last year check on the family underneath the crawl space that is so so ronda i love also i know that she meant like connections in the community but also saying like and i have connections i'm like are you both threatening each

other it almost sounds like yeah it really it really did um but there was a an owner response i'm not gonna read it um it was basically so this person also there's some uh evidence of racism in other uh reviews uh so of which this owner oh the owner not yeah the owner is like terror so the response was kind of like of bug of the somewhat boilie boiler boilerplate boilerplate um but also was like saying well uh i was just calling to see if you were happy after you changed your review this person changed your review years later and like the owner called immediately scary yeah that's disturbing um yeah and then said instead you were extremely rude and hung up on me so never like said that they didn't like threaten their family and right right that part just conveniently not addressed in the response

that's a good point if somebody accused me of that and it had not happened whatsoever i'd be pissed and horrified that that was even on the internet but they're like that part aside yeah you were pretty rude when you hung up on me yeah and i know you i know you're not the type to hang up on me i know you wouldn't do that ronda maybe it was your your child who goes to the elementary school down the road oh my god yeah anyway your turn oh my god okay this was sent in by tristan he him and it's a review of eagle pest control and tree service in eagle river arkansas nope alaska wait ak is alaska ar is arkansas ak alaska one star by austin these guys agreed to do a heat treatment in a unit and made sure the tenant had preparation to-do list she had to move fish and a whole bunch of stuff as prescribed in the list.

They showed up an hour late, two young guys who looked like they were going to a rock concert. Complete with black top hat? What? When I read this the first time, I actually laughed out loud. I was like, what is this?

Sounds like two people who got a job at an exterminator because they saw what they put over houses and thought it was a circus. They're like, is this the freak show? Yeah. They showed up an hour late, two young guys who looked like they were going to a rock concert complete with black top hat, round black sunglasses and cigarettes dangling from their mouths far away from this rock concert what rock concert is this like steampunk giraffe or whatever i don't know steam it sounds like the top hat is really throwing everything off well and like a little black round sunglass it sounds like they're time travelers like yes steampunk right it seems steampunky but also matrixy so maybe the heat treatment they gave it

it's a steam never mind like they were those steampunk goggles oh maybe but yeah that's all i've got i've got nothing else and a top hat yeah it's all coming together I've got. I've got nothing else. And a top hat. Yeah. It's all coming together. That's all I've got too. Okay, there's more. And cigarettes dangling from their mouths. The driver spoke in monotone with a very deep voice.

His helper was silent. I think these are like Men in Black from Mothman Prophecies. Yeah, what is happening? I don't think these people are real humans. No. They're here to foretell of the future the driver spoke in monotone with a very deep voice his helper was silent i was like what the heck anyway they had to go into to the alley to access the tenant's apartment there's a small parking lot back there they had a small trailer that they used maybe a generator anyway the driver said he couldn't get it in there. We have a car lot in the alley right across from our building. They bring in tow trucks with ramps.

We have 70 foot travel trailers that navigate that alley. Bunch of question marks. All in all, horrible customer service, weird employees and rotten experience. End of review. To be fair, if those two people showed up i would be very put off i cannot picture what job this would be normal behavior interest i was about to say a comic book store i have an idea for what an exterminator would look like a steampunk comic con situation pretty wide range of like what i would view an exterminator as well you wouldn't be like surprised if they showed up that's a big range but this would surprise me anybody in a top hat would surprise me at any point ever i can't think of a time i've do you

know that i've seen exactly one person i think in a top hat in your life i doubt that that's probably not true but one clearly one had quite the effect on you. Yeah, because it was a ghost. Okay. Serious, don't laugh. I'm not laughing. Was it on the Queen Mary? No, it was at the Whaley house.

Oh, that's right. That's what it was. Mr. Whaley. At the top of the stairs. Yep. And he was walking across and I was like, that man in a tall hat must be a reenactor. And that's, again, the only, that's another job where it might seem normal to wear such a hat or if you're a ghost yeah but otherwise i don't really see what this hat

is serving especially if they're both the top hats that's weird they are both the top hats and both in round dark sunglasses right that's pretty weird yeah yep and both but then the rock show comment maybe this person doesn't know what a rock show i don't know what that means this person doesn't know what a top hat is and they're like this is a baseball okay that you know what that is i think the most likely scenario is that this person doesn't know what a top hat is like because like if you see a top hat and you don't even know what it's called you wouldn't be like that person's clearly going to a rock show. Yeah.

Like a beanie would be a little better. Yeah. But I imagine someone in Alaska knows what a beanie is. Oh, wait. We're in Alaska. This is definitely some extraterrestrial. This is all too much. I don't care what anyone says.

They might be seeing Portugal the Man, famous Alaskaaska rock band they might be the pests i'm gonna look up portugal the man top hat maybe they sell top hat merch they they there's they're wearing a bucket hat in one thing maybe there were two couple of bucket hats i feel like people in alaska would also know what a bucket hat is you would think so i feel like people in al would also know what a bucket hat is. You would think so. I feel like people in Alaska would know what most hats are because most people in the world know what most hats are. But, you know, just a thought. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What if they were fedoras? That would be something. Now that I would be afraid. I would be more scared than a top hat. More scared.

Okay. My next one is uh of that same scary business bug masters llc oh we're still there oh yeah we're still there here's a review this is by um uh oswaldina one star for god's sake he gives every client25 to write a good review. And then if you don't write a review, then he becomes very aggressive. First time he came out was in May. He was okay. He offered me $25 to write a review. I wanted to make sure I didn't continue to see bugs before I wrote my review.

I called him in July to tell him I still saw bugs in the house. He had a very harsh and aggressive tone during the call. He did ask me about the review i told him i would not write a good review until i didn't see any bugs or the review would be bad so then he makes an appointment to come to my house 3 to 4 p.m oh he thought he was gonna like of course he comes to your house i'm thinking like and then he drives up in the night okay sorry he he's allowed to be there, I guess. Okay.

Yeah. I was home at 315. He wasn't here yet, so I took my kids to 7-Eleven. He never called to say he was there or running late. I arrived back at my house at 335. He automatically says, you're 30 minutes late. And his tone was horrible. He was yelling at me, asking me if I spoke with his employee, if I wished to cancel my contract, etc.

So I just closed the door in his face. A few minutes later, my 16-year-old says he put something on my door, claiming I was 30 minutes late and I owe him $880. Oh, I thought it was like a bug. Yeah. He's like reinfesting your house. He planted another bug. I work for a consumer lawyer. I'll file suit tomorrow and move move along be careful what you ask

for because here's your review thanks for my 25 off end of review oh my gosh that's the dangerous thing too um and i really kind of wish i had this review for next week because my challenge is to find people who were like coerced or pressured into writing a review i'm sure i'll find i guess plenty but um if you're demanding a review and the person's like i won't write one or it'll be bad that's like a dangerous line to you know what i mean like wouldn't you rather just them not write a review than write a shitty review yeah i don't know but i figured he'd get a lot of he figured he'd get a lot of people who were like 25 bucks sure i'll bullshit a review like i don't care yeah like i don't know doesn't like hurt the the person getting the 25 off they can always

change their review later um what a shady character to show up late and then lie and be like you're 30 minutes late because you pretended you were there the whole time you know what i mean like yeah also like i'm not gonna read any more of these but there's so many of like people getting cut off in traffic by this this truck and it was the bug master's truck so they called the um business number to complain yeah and it was the owner like every time it was the bug master it was the owner that same guy i don't know why we keep saying the owner, that same guy. I don't know why we keep saying the owner. The bug master, excuse me. It was always the bug master. Driving around in his little beetle.

You know how it is, yeah. Get it? Unfortunately. So this is a review of a place called Trinity Pest Solutions in Homestead, Florida. Okay. Okay. Trinity Pest Solutions in Homestead, Florida. Okay.

Their logo is a cross. Interesting. They crucified the bugs. Oh, interesting. I think that would kind of equate them to Jesus, and I don't know that that's the vibe they're going for. They equate the bugs to Jesus? I feel like if they were crucifying the bugs. Jesus, on either side when he

was crucified on golgotha had a sinner some a petty thief and something else i think the other one was um fire ant i can't think of a different kind of book oh it's gregor samsa how many times do we have to reference that book it's been that novella it's been twice in like two weeks though yeah but you know it's relevant it's not the most relevant in an exterminator thing this is the only time it'll be relevant okay so let me actually it'll be relevant in our theme next week what's our theme or no the one american girl dolls American Girl Dolls. If we find a way to talk about Gregor Samsa about American Girl Doll Cafes. Okay.

That's not what I meant. The one that I haven't given us yet. The one that I planned for. Oh, got it. Okay. Okay. It'll be just Franz Kafka novellas. Okay. This is of'll be just Franz Kafka novellas. Okay.

This is of Trinity Pest Solutions. Again, their logo has a big cross on it. So it's a Christian business. Okay. This is a one-star review by Raul. Owner told me he was a grass expert. Charge. Same. Not after our episode the other day everybody knows that's not true after the

the the purgatory situation yeah anyway charged me 410 for two treatments and then stated I had to pay extra for weed control. Wait, this is getting, hey. Which is why I called him in the first place. I chose them only because he stated, God bless you before I hung up. First employee stated I had two different bugs in my grass. Then the owner stated the grass was burnt. Last employee that showed up parked his truck on my lawn. I can't make this up. Save yourself time and do not hire this company end of review is that all it takes i

just appreciated that that was the only reason they hired we should start every episode with god bless you and see if we get those people good idea because i feel like that's going to be more likely than turning people away it would turn me away personally but that's okay i don't listen podcasts so so you're not really our market audience exactly we'll we'll workshop it we'll workshop god into this podcast okay i'm watching like i said that hill song series i could probably use some of the tools i learned from there i'll use the scientology tool oh great and you know one of the things they do is in their songs, they actually intentionally play chords that are psychologically proven to affect your mood and kind of well up your emotion.

Holy fuck. What? Yeah, yeah. So we could do that. No, we can't. We're not able to. Let's stop. do that i know we can't we're not able to stop i was trying to do a hymn so was i can you go it's your turn my next one is from olga thank you olga here is a review of an exterminator this is an exterminator titled critter control this is in it's outside of

san antonio it is actually it really is it's in east coast somewhere their map it's like they have their service area and it's just like new jersey oh okay there you go like most of new jersey parts of philadelphia not philadelphia pennsylvania almost philadelphia anyway here we go critter control i called critter control because there was a horrible smell in-house and exterminator suggested there might be a dead raccoon in the chimney. They said they would charge $300 if they got it out and $200 if they couldn't remove it. That's quite a deal. I will also charge everybody $200 if I cannot remove your bugs. And I think I will win out in that scenario.

Probably. Like, what a racket, you know? Like, oh, let me try. If not, I'll only charge you two-thirds. To be fair, the way that they're putting it makes it seem like it wasn't, like, a service call. Like, it was an actual, like, oh, like, I want you to come

and exterminate what's in my house if possible or deal with... So, like, they did the work. Just exterminate what's in my house if possible or deal with. So, like, they did the work. Just wait. There's a known response. Uh-huh. The guy arrived and said there was nothing in the chimney, but he could obviously smell something in the house. So he looked around.

Couldn't find anything. Wanted his boss to come out and make sure he wasn't missing something. Boss arrived and looked around. Couldn't find anything. wasn't missing something boss arrived and look around couldn't find anything as he was about to leave he saw that someone had left a frozen turkey on the ground in basement that was the source of the smell what christina there's just a frozen turkey rotting in the basement making that smell this person like must be a raccoon in the chimney okay oh my god oh first of all no longer frozen i think we can say yes okay fair yes how does that happen and you don't

okay i don't know and here we go it's not over it's like not even halfway done seriously i gave him garbage bags and my nephew took it outside we joked about it i tipped him and the first guy for trying and he left the next day my card was charged the 200 i called and talked to a last can't remember her name deeper voice and she was very rudely told me that was the service charge for coming out and that they had two people come i told her that i didn't ask for the second guy to come to my house that they didn't find any critters. Oh, well. They kind of did, friend. Beg to differ. She continued to be rude and have a nasty attitude about everything.

She ended with, well, we found the source of the smell and tipping was up to you. I told her that she was very rude. And even though the two guys were as nice as can be, their customer service was horrible. And that they should call it a service charge when you book them and let people know what it is. Again, a nasty reply after that i hardly ever write reviews but i immediately did after this conversation they should be ashamed of themselves for charging 200 for a service call and train her colleen maureen better on how to talk to people okay so that was the review someone was unhappy with their service and here's what the owner has to say we strive every single day to go over and above to give our customers the best customer service experience out there i think that is evident by the fact that even though quote you

didn't ask for the second guy to come we did in fact send a supervisor at no additional charge and ultimately were able to solve your problem for what you were quoted on the initial phone call when you scheduled the job the thing about this review that perplexes me the most is that you say in your own second sentence that you were told there would be at least a 200 service call fee if we couldn't find or remove the issue and a 300 fee if we could it seems very evident that you know you were told about the charges up front, yet you choose to try and make everyone think by the end that you didn't. The second and last sentences of your review are completely contradictory to each other. I apologize if the conversation with our operations manager did not go the way you thought it should, as we felt we earned our service fee for this job. All I can do is assure everyone that reads this review that

we are a great company to contract with for your nuisance wildlife needs. For that, you have my personal guarantee. Whoa. I thought that was a very solid response. I do too. I mean, like, you called, you clearly couldn't figure it out on your own. You couldn't find the

turkey on the floor in your basement. I mean, like, right? I'm not even trying to be nasty. 100%. But it's sort of like, well, you clearly needed help with this scenario and they helped and the thing is they could have i think realistically charged you 300 for solving your issue removing it what they call a nuisance yes a critter nuisance they solved your issue for you and so if they had 300 did charge 300 i could see why the person was upset like that hey like i it was more than like you know they didn't like actually do any extermination the nephew took out the turkey true actually so yeah so that would be a little shady but they didn't they were like

200 because they just did the service call but they also did help at the same time and apparently were very nice so i don't know people are just annoying i feel like i would be so freaking embarrassed that i'd be like take 500 exactly i'd be like and don't ever tell anyone about this don't include this in your uh testimonials literature yeah oh my gosh can you imagine like if i went to if i worked as an exterminator in another life already hilarious already you've already heard about me trying to climb on a roof to save a raccoon i would be the world's worst exterminator yeah no you probably would have dropped the raccoon and exterminated it by accident so i would have been an accidental exterminator um jesus christ this is terrible okay sorry i would have exterminated myself locking myself

in that cage that's the problem anyway okay point being um if i went and did this job and figured out the problem and was kind enough to not like probably laugh in her face wait to laugh till i got in the car etc uh-huh and then she was like i'm not paying you i'd be like well what the hell yeah right oh piss me off i don't know i'm i'm with this company on this one i agree i don't think it's fair at all um okay i have another review of trinity pest solutions in homestead florida uh ptl why is there so much like ptl stuff yeah i don't know tgbtl that's not it but i thought it was to god be the glory you said btl i think you're thinking of bootylicious like actually that's the airport code for bootylicious i'm sorry you're right wow christine okay here's a one-star review

by abby i am sincerely pleased with the services I received. I highly recommend this company. Family owned and very professional. Don't look any further. Uptate. I was going to say. I think we're missing something. Uptate.

The pigeon's back. No. Thumbs down emoji. End of review. Oh, no. The pigeon is back. thumbs down emoji end of review oh no uh i also didn't realize this is update until i just read it aloud i love how there's a singular pigeon that's wreaking havoc on this family and one star it is now wow i do like that they appreciate that they kept the original so that we knew yeah the first uh attitude about the place and then how quickly they fall from grace yes i like also that this pigeon is so identifiable

that it's clearly the same pigeon as before there was an owner response that was like this sometimes happens uh you know over time that that the pest returns, whatever, whatever. And I'm like, I think we're missing the point here. Maybe it was a homing pigeon. Oh, that is home. Yeah. I want this to be a little cute pet. He's home.

And this person's like, ring its neck next time. He's home. Oh, so sad. So cute. So sweet. I love pigeons. Love a pig oin. Love a good pig oin. Piggy on. Piggy on. Okay, I'll do So cute. So sweet. I love pigeons. Love a pig oin. Love a good pig oin.

Piggy on. Piggy on. Okay, I'll do one more. Great. This is from Tina in Belgium. Aw, I have a redemption from them. This is a review of Chet's Termite and Pest Management Incorporated in Tampa, Florida. He's just like, I'm Chet.

I'm not a bug master. I'm not a bug man. I'm just Chet. I'm not like the critter exterminator. I'm Chet i'm not a bug master i'm not a bug man i'm just chet i'm not like the critter exterminator i'm chet and i'm proud okay he put a lot in there that was not included between the lines yes you certainly can this is a uh review by um mittie mr mittie one star worst company ever poor management even worse workers sloppy and doesn't tend to details if i could rate zero i would and actually a few close friends were told about the work you do and how 90 of the time you show up late spray on appliances and so forth i was not oh wait sorry i forgot i was gonna cut here because it makes no sense and the person

i read i was like what okay so that's the first and then they updated it and it just immediately went into their update so they updated it um yeah here is the response from that original review mr middy i can't seem to find your information in the system after some research we know we perform no work for you in fact you were the gentleman that was involved in a road rage incident with one of our drivers who was traveling northbound on mcdill while you were attempting a merge from the side road i thought i said i'm attempting a murder i was like holy shit after vulgarities a finger flip and a reach inside your glove box our driver took a picture of you and your license plate and called the police to report the incident thankfully everyone made

it home safely and without further action tampa traffic can be terrible but it's not worth a life or two oh my god response oh my gosh and then here comes mr middy here comes mr middy indeed this is mr mid's side of things. So it was weird reading it because it was like spray on appliances and so forth. And then immediately went into this without like an enter or anything. Oh, gosh. Okay. I was not in the merge lane for my incident. Instead.

I'm sorry. I'm just now imagining the first time I read this. And anyway, I was not attempting a murder on the side of the road yeah i was like and i read the whole thing and thought am i did did they i thought they like copy and pasted something wrong or did like accidentally reviewed uh meant to review something else as well but then i read got to the response was like oh this is their response their testimony they were sending their lawyer for the court date. I was not in a merge lane for my incident.

Instead, I got excuses from you explaining it's not illegal to not use a turn signal in an intersection while crossing lanes. I brought it to management's attention and all they had to say was traffic is bad. Next time I'll be sure to ram it so the camera shows. That is what I mean by poor management. And before you look at top reviews i've seen at least 10 saying how horrible the work is half that are saying it's good is close friends or workers if they break your stuff they will blame on you end of review from what i can tell this person like has never even used their services and it's still like trying to badmouth their business what a weird way to do that like it is strange based on a road

rage incident you're like i know yeah i'll accuse him of spraying on appliances yeah and being like oh yeah my friend my other friends here in tampa they know all about how terrible it is like i don't know he's like no the google people i was gonna say is like fellow google they're my friends and the google reviews are like, no. No, we don't know you. Don't associate. That's my last one. Oh, my gosh.

Well, I have some redemptions here. Okay. So, we got two emails and I took them for myself because they had the same subject or like the same theme and I wanted to make sure I got to introduce this to you. Oh. Have you heard of the big blue bug? Believe it or not no i feel like you should only because i learned about it yesterday and i'm now so entrenched in it that it's surprising to me that no one else would know about this this is a big blue bug um

of rhode island or kylie so kylie and steph uh both she her sent these in set this information of Rhode Island or Kylie. So Kylie and Steph, both she and her sent these in, sent this information in. Kylie says, or BBB as the kids call it. It is notable for mainly one reason.

Their building, Big Blue Bug, their building has a big bug on top. They dress him up for different seasons and even named him. While many call him

the Big Blue Bug, the staff of bbb solutions has dubbed their mascot nibbles woodaway i love that mr woodaway is an iconic part of providence people make merch with him on it and this is kylie saying i even have a nibbles woodaway for president sticker is it okay if i look up photos oh yes please okay um now i i pulled up a fun little fact sheet and by that i mean a wikipedia oh dear god it's a giant termite it's claimed to be the world's largest artificial bug at 928 times the size of an actual termite oh my god there's this i see one so they put a mask over it, which is amazing for COVID.

Oh, that's cute. And then there's a giant sign that says, stop anti-Semitism. Whoa. Oh, I see it. Big blue bug with a message. I love it. Hell yeah. A tie, a Sam I am hat.

What's it named? Sam. A top hat. The top hat, but it's a. A top hat. I know, hat what's it named sam top hat the top hat but it's a top hat i know but what's christina my brain please save me the cat in the hat no christina sam the patriotic fellow uncle sam uncle sam hat uh and a beard with the beard yes also i like that with the mask his little antenna are like coming through it.

This is hilarious. I am in love with this bug. I know. So this is Big Blue Bug for President 2020. Yes, agreed. Love it. Nibbles Woodaway is also the wildest best name. Anyway, so that is um really

the only thing i just wanted to i wanted to tell you that uh important information makes me very happy to learn about uh nibbles woodaway mr wood i mean what a president what a name for president president woodaway so think about it it's like woodward wilson woodrow never mind are you okay no yeah one of the reviews kylie sent in made me a little sad because it was about like animals and traps so you know i didn't i don't know i'm not gonna read that but look at this sticker oh it's so cute isn't it nibbles for president i want it love him oh but i did want to point out too that they um apparently respond to all of their positive reviews with a bug joke oh amazing here's one they're rated 4.9 out of 5 stars on google uh with 711 reviews

one response here says we're happy to hear that david did a buzz worthy job thanks for sharing here's another one thanks for sharing the buzz danielle which i would argue kind of the same joke yeah but there you go there you have it i don't also don't really get it like what's the book like bugs are buzzing around, I understand how buzz relates to bugs. Then what's the problem? What's the other way? What's like buzz? The buzz like the news or something?

Thanks for sharing the buzz. Well, stop saying it as if it's a normal thing to say. Is that a normal thing to say? Sharing the buzz? T-F-S-T-B. Stop. It's like sharing. You can't even explain this yourself explain are you are you gaslighting me about no like what's all the buzz about what's all the buzz about isn't that a thing i don't know

are you gaslighting me no sorry i guess it is a thing that sounds right like room buzz equals rumor gossip yeah like the scuttlebutt yeah see that scuttlebutt i know that one okay but you don't know the word buzz i know the word buzz it has many meanings buzz aldrin being one of the foremost true true okay so now i do have um two last redemptions okay this first one i found it's of a company called my son and i pest removal oh okay that's an interesting way to put it they wanted to put their son first though that's kind of sweet pretty nice um my son and i pest removal in davie florida a lot of these places seem to be in Florida. I wonder why. Full of swamp.

Swamp pests. So this is a five-star review by Daz. I'm writing this review for my son and I pest control, and you're going to get pest control from my son and I. That's meta or something. It's meta much going on wrong i'm not really sure it's either very creative or very incorrectly typed i'm not entirely sure um i thought it was pretty powerful though it is but i would like to know which um version of my son and i is the company and which version is the reviewer speaking about oh so it could be their own so it could be i'm writing a review for my son and i pest control

but you are going to get pest control from my son yeah exactly that's what i'm curious about that's really powerful stuff right and also very bossy yeah it's like yeah you're gonna go with that son and that that i but no you're gonna go with that sun and that eye but no you're gonna go with this sun and this eye and you're gonna like it too yeah um so this final redemption i have for you is from tina our belgian listener belgian right yeah okay our one belgian i just had a thought i was like i hope it was belgium and i didn't just type that wrong. And this is of Ohio Exterminating Company in Columbus, Ohio. Not clear what they exterminate yet. Ohio.

Ohioans? Better watch out. Five stars by Debbie. I would like to thank Ohio Exterminating for their services of exterminating mice that inhabited my home after my cat moved with my son. I have a major phobia of mice and dead ones. They came out. Okay.

Thank you for specifying question mark. They came out and started the safe process. No bad chemicals or traps of encouraging mice to leave my house and where they were hiding. They even allowed more visits with my initial cost at no extra cost for two months. Because of my phobia, they came every other week at my request. They were patient with me, walked with me into each room and around the house. If it wasn't for them, I would be in the coronary care unit at doctor's hospital.

After six visits, I got the thumbs up. All mice were gone. Now I also have a new cat. I sure give this company five stars cute okay that's nice I was that's that's nice chaotic uh but it's like we swerved past

the date it felt like we were tumbling toward a disaster it certainly felt like a tumble towards disaster and then we swerved yeah and now we're okay yes like she she didn't end up in the coronary care unit she was on the verge she at least knew what was coming yeah before they stepped in things were looking dangerous quite grim and bleak bleak indeed um

and then the mice were were gently encouraged that was sweet to leave the house with no traps. I like that a lot as well. And so I felt very uplifted. So for you, I made that one the last review. Thank you. You're welcome. Going into my challenge, that's so sweet. Yep.

um so this one this challenge was to find a review that a student wrote as an assignment right so an example would be i'm in whatever's class and we have to review this place that we i don't know for whatever like some sort of project. Yep. That was a terrible example. That was a good example, Oxenar, when you said no specifics. I'm sorry. Nobody helped me in emails. Well. Shut up. But thankfully I had Dee, and Dee did help me.

I struggled with this. I don't remember Dee helping me, so. The problem is, the i struggled with this i don't remember d helping me so the problem is the problem is with this one it was a good challenge and the ones i found i think were pretty good but the problem was that when you like would use certain search terms it would be like people read a book for an assignment or went to a place for class but not reviewed it the review that they weren't like coerced into writing a review for the class i see what you're saying yeah like oh i studied this for an assignment and then i went and blah blah blah so i went through so many pages and then d found some

with like within minutes so i don't know what the heck she was doing she was just better than me sorcery which is not very surprising but uh one thing i found was a single student um who this is a little different but this is what i'm going to start with this person named uh rachel would leave questions asking businesses things on yelp great and we get a varying degree of answers but questions in the questions section yeah it was in ask the community section within the businesses page so not as a review just as a question was was done properly here we go i'll do the there are five of them this is for northeast landscaping services hi i'm a student in business class and we're hypothetically flipping a house we want to put grass on a 740 square foot lot a gravel pathway leading to the house and two flower shrubs with wood chips could you give us advice on the cost and process thanks

oh my god yeah would you do my homework please for me honestly did they get answers this answer this business owner said we have to see the property but looks like between three to four thousand dollar job i might start doing this right isn't that hilarious like i don't like to be on the phone as you know i might just start typing these out and say i'm in school Can you tell me how much this is going to cost approximately? Yeah. Here's another one. This is of System Pavers. Hi, I'm a student in business class and we're hypothetically flipping a house. We want to put grass on a 740 square foot lot, a gravel pathway leading to the house, and two flower shrubs with wood chips.

Could you give us advice on the cost and process? Thanks. Stop it. And here's the response. Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately, System Papers does not offer landscaping services, so we are not able to assist you with an answer, but we wish you the best of luck with your school project. I am shocked that this is getting so many answers.

I would have thought nobody... Maybe this is the way to go. You want a response. You're just like, I'm a lowly student. Right. I want to get an A plus. But here, they changed their strategy. And I think this was a little better.

Okay. Because how old do you think this person, this student is? Like what kind of like level of class? College. Okay. Here's one of Julian's TJ fencing and landscaping. Hi, I'm a student in a middle school business class and we're hypothetically flipping a house.

What's a middle school business class? Christina, I have no idea. We're flipping a house? I have no idea. I bet you their teacher is trying to get some free labor out of these students. We want to put grass on a 10,000 square foot lot and add a fence around a 740 square foot house. Could you please give us advice on the cost and process?

No wood chips. No wood chips. See, it changed it did it does change i'm intrigued um and the business owner here says hi you like to schedule appointment for more details free estimate and that's it okay so that even though they did uh right i'm in middle school the business did not give a shit. And that's fair. I mean, what are they going to get out of this? Okay, here we go. We get the last two are a little more responsive. This is of Spruce, S-P-R-U-S-E. Landscaping company, I assume.

I have a good feeling about this one. Hi, I'm a student in a middle school business class, and we're hypothetically flipping an old house that needs to be cleaned. It's a two bedroom, one bathroom. Oh, wait. Are we getting more information getting more information yeah hold on one sec sorry this is a home cleaning service my mistake oh okay this is so they must have been going they must need a lot of my god that's a lot of info this is like quite a class for middle schoolers also i would i will say this is a pretty good strategy it's's pretty, I mean, the fact that it's working, yeah.

Well, okay, sometimes. Sort of. Hi, I'm a student in a middle school business class and we're hypothetically flipping an old house that needs to be cleaned. It's a two bedroom, one bathroom, one laundry room, one kitchen,

740 square foot house. Could we please get some advice on the cost and process? And here's what the business has to say. It would be $191.09 for a one-time deep clean of a two bedroom, one bathroom home, And here's what the business has to say. customer discount that was applied as well you would go online and create your booking as desired our cleaners come with their own supplies on the date and time of your choosing this is pretty affordable what uh city are we in here uh i believe seattle washington oh my yeah that's quite a deal i i'd say i actually i actually don't know so um sure so here's one more this is of uh a norv a norve a n o r v e landscape services hi i'm a student in business class and we're hypothetically flipping a house we want to

repair the roof put grass on a 740 square foot lot a gravel pathway and two flower shrubs with wood chips could you give us advice on the cost and process? And here is what the business owner says. Let's say the roof is 15 squares. You need to replace cost to remove and replace is approximately $7,500. Lawn replacement with sod on approximately 740 square foot

is $1,730. Count your labor hours and dump fees as well as material cost. Make a plan of attack and follow it end of response that's very nice and helpful yep i think so too i feel like if i were the competing business i'd be like following this student right just taking notes on all the responses right right right wow um what a savvy child i know no i i totally agree what a savvy little kid is that funny though that's what i'm

gonna tell my child to do just look on yelp just look on i'm not calling anybody that's how you'll parent i'm not surprised yelp is your real dad no jesus christ sorry that got weird now is here uh now is the ones from the ones from d this is a quality section of my challenge excellent uh this is guido's original new york style pizza downtown we're already in quality um where do you think this is guido's what original new york style pizza downtown i mean i really did think manhattan but by the way your face looks i'm assuming kansas boise idaho okay well close here's a five-star review by colin my 13 year old daughter had a class assignment and wrote this about guidos we think she did a great job and we love guidos so here's what the 13 year old has to say guidos pizzeria in downtown boise are you a pizza fan do you love new york style pizza that is the amazing style of the

pizza at guidos pizzeria guidos pizza is one of the best is the amazing style of the pizza at Guido's Pizzeria. Guido's pizza is one of the best that I've ever tasted. The pizza is cheesy. The sauce is amazing. The crust is seasoned to perfection and it is the perfect thickness. Guido's is a very unknown pizzeria, which is very- Ouch. That's so rude.

That's such a little kid thing. Gio's trying to jump off with his blanket on. Wow, athlete. Sporty. It's an unknown pizzeria. That's so rude. Gio's trying to jump off with his blanket on. Wow, athlete. Sporty. It's an unknown pizzeria. That's so rude. Guido's is a very unknown pizzeria which is very surprising seeing its quality. Guido's pizza is made in front

of you in a big pizza oven made by one or two chefs. Guido's is a very small restaurant but it has many options to pick from. They have everything from fresh basil to sausage to green peppers or even jalapenos. They have some basic pre-made slices or you can customize a pie or full pizza to your liking. You can also pick from pie sizes and they can get up to 20 inches big. Guido's also has other foods you can get like cheesy breadsticks and steaming marinara sauce. Their pizza is very large. One slice of Guido's pizza is almost as big as two

or three Domino's slices. It is really hard to eat a whole pie, so Guido's is a perfect family pizzeria. Guido's has a perfect pizza as well. Nothing about Guido's pizza should be changed. It has a perfect thin crust, warm sauce, and gooey cheese. You can even order extra cheese if you would like. Guido's, like all New York pizza, has a very thin layer of oil that runs along the top of the pizza. Guido's also is all New York pizza, has a very thin layer of oil that runs along the top of the pizza. Guido's also is a small and sweet shop. It has many old newspaper photos on the wall, as well as a sign that tells you

how to eat your pizza the New York way. The restaurant has a very New York feel, seeing that their pizza is New York style. They don't have a big space or very big tables. You can move everything around to fit your needs. Guido's has a lovely feel to it, and just sitting in the room makes you feel like you're in New York.

All of the pizza making magic is shown in front of you in a small kitchen. The tables are perfect size to fit around four people and the pizza takes up most of the small table, but there is still room to comfortably stuff your face with breathtaking pizza. Guido's pizza may not be the most well-known, but it is sure to impress. And I'm putting it on the map with this review everything from its amazing pizza goodness to its lovely new york feel

just goes to show that you really should try out guidos pizzeria next time you're in downtown boise a plus review right i think we should have children write reviews more i think it was so heartwarming and honest and like yeah like it was positive and honest it was like heartwarming and honest. And like, yeah. Like it was positive and honest. It was like, oh, it's not super famous. But they didn't phrase it as like a bad thing, you know. And I have no questions about this place. No. I do have one question, which is like in comparison to Domino's slices, how big?

Oh, wait. Oh, did she cover that? I think she did. I think she did. It's almost as big as two or three Domino's slices. I also was wondering what the feel the ambience lovely lovely new york exactly like new york city exactly okay and lovely a lot of lovelies layer of oil on the pizza always check okay i think uh i think this is an a plus assignment

i think so i would give an a plus i would be so proud if my kid wrote i'd be like okay wrap it up about halfway through but the saddest part is only one person found it useful and it was dad probably i just found it useful and cool wait i'm not even logged in how does that work okay whatever anyway so that's my first one from d really good next we have la Cabana, a Mexican restaurant in Grand Island, Nebraska, which is... What? They have islands in Nebraska? Traffic Island. Excuse me?

Traffic Island. It's like just smack dab in the middle of Nebraska. An actual island? Or a traffic island? Be honest. They have Island Oasis Water Park. Oh, it's in the water park? The town is inside the water park.

Entire town is in a water park. Okay, here we go. This is a review. What did I say? Oh, yeah. La Cabana, the Mexican place. Here we go. Four stars.

This is by Rachel. Did I just say Rachel for the last one? I said it today. Uh, this is by, uh, uh, radish. Oh, uh, here's four star review by radish. For our college English class assignment, we had to pick a Mexican restaurant, eat there and write a blog slash review about it. I will say they used write, they spelled write R-I-G-H-T instead of W-R-I-T-E.

No, they didn't. Their English class. That misvetter would have freaked me on the spot. Our group obviously went to La Cabana. Maybe because it's the only one in Nebraska. In the water park, right. The entire state of Nebraska. I'm just kidding.

Okay. When we arrived, we were the first ones there, so there wasn't a wait and we got seated right away. The waiter brought out warm chips and salsa. I tried really hard not to just steal the whole bowl for myself. The menu was overflowing with different choices and the prices were very reasonable. The only thing I have to comment about that is there were no pictures at all of the food in the menu we ordered drinks and just a few short minutes later we put in our order i got the enchiladas rancheras and i was delicious okay all right i'm reverting on like a c here because this doesn't seem like that difficult

of an assignment i guess i wonder what grade we're in if we're it says college english class okay well then we're raging at it i was delicious sorry yeah this is getting a little rough for me here like i said before very reasonably priced as well eight dollars for three enchiladas topped with pork rice lettuce pico and guacamole wait it's guacamole it's a cute i'm sorry i feel so bad i wasn't bringing this to the table to roast this reviewer a dummy i swear you're such a dummy it's in the water park they call it guacamole that's what they call it at the water park wouldn't be surprised okay i put the lettuce pico and quack on top of my enchiladas and mixed it all up it made for a very flavorful combination the pork was somewhat

spicy but the lettuce and tomatoes weren't letting it get too carried away our whole group agreed that the only criticism was the rice was a little bland it didn't really add anything and was just there meanwhile our waiter was keeping our drinks filled and making sure our meal was up to our expectations. Our waiter didn't speak very good English or much at all, but we made it through without any complications. Even though we didn't try any, they had a list of desserts and margaritas. The quality and low prices of the food at La Cabana will definitely make me or anyone

else want to come back. Overall, good experience. Now, if only our instructor would let us do this more often end of review what a course what an assignment right i love it and also they left four stars like i it feels like when you are forced to write a review you tend to lean towards positive yeah and i have a feeling that's what it's going to be like next week when i do mine of being coerced and writing reviews for like a coupon. But guacamole aside, I have to say I was a TA in grad school and I taught like English 101. Like I taught freshman English basically at BU.

And can I be honest? This would have gotten probably a B plus a B plus because so many students just wouldn't do it yeah or would write like it was fine yeah just like completely phone it in or phone it in or just be so off base yeah that guacamole would be impressive to me that they got so close to spelling guacamole and it wasn't like oh they were unintelligent it was just like people didn't seem to want to care about my grades you know fair i guess um but anyway interesting so as i said d and then i was like that's not true if i were actually grading this i'd probably give it a b just to

be like thank you for putting so much effort into it you know i'd give a b only because you took off a star for just the rice for just i don't care about the grammar or whatever that doesn't bother me um what bothers me most is that the only issue was the rice and you left four stars instead of five the rice is kind of a an important part of your Mexican meal, though. I don't know. I would say. I don't know. Yeah, no.

There's so many positives and just barely a negative that I don't know. Okay. I'm moving on, though, to German. Sorry. I had to get into my German mode. I can't speak German. He does do that every time he starts switching languages. He sputters like a car and then i can't speak german anymore strassenbräu i don't know why you're doing this awesome broi okay okay is it in germany yes oh

okay yeah i'm not like god if it weren't the last two were mexican and new york and neither of those were in the places that they pretended they were. Fair. Okay. No, you got me. This is in Berlin. Ohio. This is a five-star review.

This is by Luther. This is my first review on Yelp. I've been more of a lurker here, but now I need to write a review as part of an assignment. Which assignment, you ask? ask well that's a secret i came here with a bunch of colleagues after an event it was a good place overall that offered a huge variety of beers it also had a nice deodorant in the bathroom that i made good use of whoa everybody in my team enjoyed it it's a shame i didn't what do you think they enjoyed it they loved it is that is that common in the restrooms in germany in your opinion i don't think so okay because i know they have

like oh they always have something they all usually condoms but they always have or like yeah they always have something in the bathroom deodorant is surprising because that's a thing that usually is is not communal i mean there was a condom obviously i don't think this is meant to be communal i assume it's like you pay a euro twist a thing and a mini deodorant comes out that's my assumption i hope it's not on the sink i love how you're just like yeah you know usually that's not communal interesting i thought that's what he meant like we just share we just pass around the deodorant i listen i don't know it's a shame i didn't come here before as it was walking

distance from my house anyway here's a pic for you this might not be the best pic but it's the only one i could find where i was not completely wasted someone in our group was sensible enough to take a pic before we started drinking that's one of the reasons i decided to review this place actually end of review and then there's this picture and it's captioned when we were sane which one is he i have no idea first of all i love the differing attitudes here the first student or the last student being like oh i had i had zero margaritas even though they were a lot there were a lot on the menu, I didn't have a single sip. And this person's like, wow, I was so wasted. Anyway, this is my homework assignment.

It's like, what? But they left five stars, so they get an A plus for me. Also love that they said my homework assignment, and then they were like, or they didn't say homework. They said my assignment, and then they said some colleagues and I went. So I wonder. True. Is this like an assignment from

who the government excuse me could you imagine the government's like you got to leave a five-star review of this place yeah because this guy is just he's just a decoy and he thinks he's part of the cia and they're like yeah yeah yeah never right this is not well I don't know what's happening I'm sorry I'm just cancel it look what you did D you sent these in and this is what you've caused thank you D for your submissions appreciate you so much great um here is my finale oh boy so it's uh no don't worry it's positive i kept it on positive it's a little different which is why i'm keeping them a little separate but they're both very wholesome so here we go these are two different ones these are two different ones uh here's one uh this is by um

billy five star review of computer Creepy Computer Mystery 4. Hello, reader level four. It's a book. Oh, OK. It was a book on the shelf that I read five chapters about kids that solve mysteries. I'm going to buy all the rest of the books with the same kids in them. I like all these books, but my favorite book is with the same kids called The Schoolyard Mystery. End of review. Oh my gosh. Isn't that cute? This was written in February 2001.

Isn't that nuts that it's been on there for that long? Wait, you were in... Third grade. No, second grade. center you were like that age yeah that's pretty wild to think it's not weird because i don't think i would ever have thought to write a review of a book on the internet no i know what was it amazon yeah wow that was early amazon weird thought they left one other review that's more recent though the wildest part is that they're now your age yeah i'm gonna read the one that they the other one that they read yeah this is of the pocket pussy 3d realistic textured powerful suck vagina get

out of my face hi my name is billy i'm in mrs carter's you're such an idiot where did you even call that name from which one i'm not gonna say it oh i i planned that you are such a piece of shit i really thought you pulled that one out of nowhere no out of my brain no it's from last week oh my god it's right here in my thing i swear i swear before you actually think i had that memorized i was i was shocked i was like what's it went to my etsy to see if it was in my recently viewed. Recently viewed was full of other stuff, but I couldn't find that one. So I had to go to my old document and find it. Dear Lord.

So stupid. Okay. Sorry. So... For a brief moment, I actually fully believed you because you kept reading it. And I was like, wow, I guess they are RAH. Things spiraled, you know? Things spiraled? Or I guess... It's not like they're like reviewing

a nazi flag or some shit come on yeah i guess their interests have just advanced a little bit that's all okay okay you're saying too much about it you didn't have to say any of this okay okay but this is my last one i promise i'm ending on a good note for you uh this is of a cd uh titled new horizon uh and it's by stella schindler um featuring enya it isn't it does sound like enya um but yeah it's just uh oh it's ranked 1 million 74 254th in cds and vinyl wow i don't even know in context what that means but me neither i'm impressed um but yeah so it's a musician stella schindler and uh this is a review five star review by drew miss schindler is the best i'm in miss schindler's 11th grade english class and she played some songs for us she is

amazing i especially liked i especially liked It's Sunday Again. Order this CD. It will be very good. Thanks, Ms. Schindler. You were great. End of review. That's really sweet. Thank you.

It's not for an assignment, but. That's extremely, but for bonus points. But maybe for bonus points. Yeah, I have a feeling maybe some extra credit. That is really sweet. I thought so too. But also I feel like the, well, no, I guess the teacher played it for them. Because I was going to say, if the teacher kept that on the side and then was like oh no they found me yeah like that would be kind of a ron swanson oh true you know jazz thing bad

uh but it sounds like she invited them to listen to her music how lovely and that was not the only review about that like there were other students students who like, oh, my gosh, I love Ms. Schindler. Like, this is amazing. So, yeah. What? She must be a great teacher. Her students are leaving reviews for. That's what I'm thinking. For her CD.

Yeah. I'm very impressed, Sandy. Thank you. That was a very good job. Be impressed by Dee mostly. She did the ones that actually fit the challenge. I think they were all very good. Oh, thank you.

But yeah, I am done uh which means it's time to give our theme and challenge uh for the episodes in two weeks and then three weeks i'm ready to go i'm not oh my gosh i have a theme but not a challenge oh okay okay i'm ready okay so our theme for episode 177. We're getting better at this, by the way. I know, I know. Is from a good friend, Lady Bell, in my stream, Jennifer, who suggested we do reviews of as seen on TV products. I saw that come in and I thought I saved that to my folder.

I guess I saved a different one. Yeah. No. Oh, you thought you saved this? You were going to steal this? I didn't. I wasn't going to steal it. You were going to steal it from me?

Steal it from you. Let me see what I put in my challenges. Oh, no. This is a different one that I saved. But this is the one I'm going to give you. So, Allie wrote in this morning. Ooh. And I saw the subject, which was...

Mine's from yesterday, so... Oh, good. Perfect. This subject is My Subconscious Spoke to Me. So of course I had to read it. Yikes. Okay, I'm nervous. Because it came in at 8 a.m.

And I was like, what is going on here? So Ali Sheher says, Hey, Sheefer Sibs, I had a dream last night that you did an episode where the challenge was to find reviews where people complained that their airline flight was too short what that's so specific i love it in my dream it was a hilarious episode so i thought i'd send it as an idea let's enter i don't know if this is even possible this better be a good episode i don't even know i love it i love it i'm gonna try it i don, don't even like try to find any yourself. I got this. Okay. Uh, excellent.

Um, also before we finish here, I want to say one more thing, which is that, well, good. Cause you have to give another theme anyway. I know.

I'm sorry. Before we do that, I wanted to say, so Molly sent in the theme today and Emma, she, her sent in the challenge and Molly is coming to both of our Ohio shows. So I wanted to give that a quick shout out. So if you're around, you could come meet us and come meet Molly.

So beach to sandy dot com slash tour. Yay. All right. So finally, remember what I said was going to be relevant in our next. Yes. What was it? Gregor Sam. So whatever.

Yeah. The metamorphosis. So Callum wrote in i picked this before uh he him and he suggested a theme which is reviews of books from your childhood so early when he said when will this ever be relevant again i was like really funny actually i know precisely when this will be relevant that's good oh my god what a good idea it's fun and he put um some flat stanley ones but I think I already read those. So don't steal those.

Okay. I'd never read Flat Stanley, so I don't care about that bullshit. Actually, I didn't either. But yeah, if you... Wow. Okay. But if you have any childhood books, you were... I don't know.

Well, now they've become... Like the one when I think of childhood books, I think of On Beyond Zebra, zebra one of the dr seuss books that was uh has a little problematic yes does have a problematic page or two um and i have a feeling those reviews are gonna be very exhausting to go through so i'm not gonna do that uh but i'll come up with some i think i read more than just that book just go into leona's room she has quite an array of books uh that's true she does you could probably find all sorts of fun i think i'll be fine um your challenge comes from joe she they uh who wants you to find a review of an instrument shop like a guitar center or something uh where the person brags about uh how successful they are as an artist whoa and ideally something

hi i'm mrs smith from the 11th grade english class what was her name again mrs i have no idea my i have i have no clue don't you get my joke yes okay sorry mrs schindler miss schindler hi i'm miss schindler you might know me from taking my class six of my 11th graders my one millionth ranked cd i'm really impressed harpistry skills why did we turn into bashing miss schindler she seems lovely i didn't say anything was bashing her she's just very successful and proud yeah okay so yeah that's your challenge okay can i write that down was it uh so to find are you listening everyone find me reviews where of a an instrument shop. Of a guitar instrument shop.

Who's that from? This is from Joe Shee They. Joe Shee They. Find reviews of an instrument shop. Where someone brags about being a major artist or being a successful musician. All right. You hear that, everybody? Yes.

My little minions, get on it. Please don't read this time, too. He's only talking to Dee. All right. Thanks, everybody, for listening. Thanks, everybody. I have to leave the house now, which is just my worst nightmare. So we'll see you next week.

Bye. See you in Glasgow. Bye.