Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 182: Reviews of Cat Cafes

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

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Stop. Stop. This is basically a reenactment of our childhood yeah stop alexander i'm not touching you welcome to our cat cafes episode um i have something exciting to say oh about cat cafes cool well about the person who suggested this topic oh you mean taylor jenny and or abigail okay yes okay i didn't realize it was multiple people but abigail took it upon herself to say hey it's my topic and so i believed her and here's why because may 17th is her 16th birthday oh and birthday she's a cat mom of three and an avid collector of cat ear headbands

and she requested that we make her birthday cat cafe episode um really good which i feel like too far abigail no we can't promise you can't ask for quality we can't promise that are you kidding me we'll release something every week we won't promise it's good we will release content yes we will promise and guarantee content but cat cafes do you have any thoughts other than your birthday the birthday thoughts i've never been to one me neither there's one in covington that somebody suggested i didn't end up getting to look at reviews of the of that one okay but then another person uh whose name i believe was michael had emailed in like a

long time ago saying oh i actually am in louisville i um work at one yeah like manage one i think and it's the same one that opened a location in covington how do you know that i saw that like in just like briefly in the body of the sub of the email when i was searching through them and i was like wow so covington has one so we should go go. We should. Yeah. There's one in Dayton, too. Yep. I have reviews of that one. Okay. I guess my reviews will cover my other thoughts.

Same. I have them. I have them. Did you have some, like, bonkers stuff? Yeah. Like, there's some that I didn't bring on purpose that I was like, it's too much. Same. It's way too much.

What is that? It's not funny. I mean, like, we do read some, like, fucked up stuff here. Like, it's not all hilarious. But some of this stuff, I just did not feel comfortable. It's just, like, not even worth trying. No. I don't understand why Cat Cafes brought this out.

Right? It's so random. It is, like, in my view or my understanding, one of the most harmless businesses you can start. We've done, like, post offices. We've done DMVs we've done dmvs like places where people really get angry cat cafes somehow blew them out of the water i can't but i couldn't believe the reviews i was reading okay it was so discouraging i'm glad it was not just me i had to put it down for i've never i don't think i've ever had to like stop oh i had when

we did uh like veterinary oh yeah that's that was bad but this i just couldn't i don't know and i couldn't find anything i just found really fucked up stuff. And then I had to take a break. But I'm good now. But we're good. We're good. We made it. Our eyes are only twitching a little bit.

Yeah, Abigail's already crying. I've got a review. Great. Should I read one? It is of the one in Dayton. Gem City Cat Fae. Some of these names were quite wild. Cat Fae.

There were some that I thought, you know, I don't even know what to say. Like, I didn't want to even bring them because I didn't know how to pronounce them because it was so, they just shoehorned the word cat or the word purr or the word meow in there somewhere and it made no sense. Oh, you mean cat-pertino? Anyway, so here's a review of Gem City Cafe in Dayton, Ohio. This is a review by Cody One Star. My wife and I drove down from Brookville looking to adopt Cat. The experience wasn't a good one. First off, I had a conflict with a guy for parking on his street,

so he directed me to the parking lot at the school. Then there was some drug out meth head asking us for some money while we were walking to the store. Then we finally get there and I find out that they discriminate about my second amendment rights. Those aren't the kind of people that I want to do business with. So we ended up going to the Ghost Light Cafe, which had amazing coffee. End of review. First of all, i definitely also have this review i'm sorry okay because sam they them uh emailed it and said i wanted to gush about my

favorite cat cafe the gem city cat fey in dayton ohio and i know that like there's a there's an owner response right yes i already forget what it says so i'm excited for the response but can i give you a fun fact about this place yes please i don't have any fun facts about it so sam sent some fun facts they said since dayton is the birthplace of aviation one of the cats that lives there full time is named miarville after orville right miarville miarville miarville miarville and there is also a wooden plane hanging from the ceiling for the cats to hang out on oh cute before you know we discuss this really uh i wonder why they didn't just go with orville like i i don't know i don't hate it i'm'm just saying. Personally, though, I love when cats have human names.

Especially like old timey ones. Like Orville. Orville is such a good name for a cat. Right? I mean, I guess so is Muirville. Muirville. Okay. Muirville's not bad.

Don't get me wrong. Okay. So there is an owner response. I didn't want to read the whole thing, but basically they said they have a liquor license, so therefore the state of ohio says that they can't allow firearms on the premises which first of all they shouldn't have to justify anyway in my opinion it's ridiculous and also that's not what discrimination is um correct so anyway so this is an email from riley she fur like a cat

like a cat who said i'm so proud i found this gem at my local cat cafe in my small little town of port hope ontario it's called toe beans toe beans i thought you said toby's and i was like oh that's fun and i was like i like that i'm into toby's toe beans that's that's cute toby toby's toe beans would be something that'll be now that i don't like too much of a good thing unless it's like mureville's toe beans nope still no disagree it's called toe beans and the place has mostly five stars and gets kittens and cats adopted all the time so this is a wild one also with a an owner response and for a minute when you were reading that one i thought it was this one okay but now i'm excited that you haven't heard this one yet i've been exposed to this right this is a one star review by mariah the food is not great they're weird cat lovers that seems like

cats more than people and they have this weird hatred towards children that comes out when you go there. It's not a great environment for kids. They make that painfully obvious by their attitude towards parents and kids. They pretty much did everything to make me uncomfortable while I was there, and when I brought it to their attention, they blamed me on social media, which pretty much just confirmed my suspicions about their odd behavior. It's a cute little cafe. Nothing special. The cats are the highlight. Be prepared to be spoken to like the cats are people and are held in a higher regard

than the patrons. They really do not like families there and refuse to acknowledge it. I have screenshots of them basically telling me it's my fault when I recommended maybe they should have some staff that have experience with children. The kids aren't educated on cats. They aren't given a fun experience. They're just told no about pretty much everything in there expected to sit and look at the cats while some strange mid-20s hipster stares at you end of review okay what does this little shit do i i'm sorry there's no way there's no world in which this child was doing something like being very pleasant and not being negative

towards these cats and also you the reviewer literally said the cats are the highlight and then are like but why do they treat them like they're humans why do they care more about these cats than they do about my child i'm sorry i care i don't know either these cats nor your child but i care more about these cats at this moment. Agreed. Because I'm frustrated with you right now. Okay. What did this kid do?

All right. This is a response from owner. Thanks for thinking I'm in my 20s. I'm actually in my 30s. I must be using the right moisturizer. Your kid was hitting cats in the face with toys. You did nothing. Other customers complained about your

kids so the owner had to come in and supervise your kid was asked multiple times to stop whipping around cat wands what does that mean those cat one the things with the like mouse at the end oh i was watching a live stream of this cafe and there was a woman playing with one with a cat i mean the cat was playing with this cafe yeah wait well no that's the ontario one sorry tony's i'm toby's i said toby's uh no sorry i was thinking we're still on that dayton one i was like do you have this website up right now because how else would you have watched this live stream no i was watching a live stream of the dayton one they have a live stream i mean come on oh no it was great sam do you know that about your favorite place that they have a live

stream because i was watching you there okay alex your kid was asked multiple times to stop whipping around cat wands by staff and you still did nothing eventually you left those other customers decided your kid's behavior was so atrocious that they reported them to animal cruelty hotline with the local humane society and told us we shouldn't allow children in at all. I feel like I'm repeating myself when I say we're not a babysitting service. Did you explain to your children the rules? How to interact with cats?

Nope, you didn't. We're sorry your children don't understand boundaries or how to be kind to animals. We're sorry you feel entitled to special treatment instead of, you know, parenting in a public place. We're sorry you take your frustrations out on small businesses that work with nonprofits via the internet. At me when your job is kid-friendly, though. I'll bring mine along. Glad I can die happy that I'm really giving off that weird hipster vibe. Art school goal achievement unlocked.

Peace out, dudes. End of response. I mean, good, because it's so fucked up. I'm glad that they Your child was hitting the animals And you have the audacity to go online And say why do they treat My family so poorly And what's scary is yeah

They still like they wouldn't put this out There multiple times after being Told what they did publicly If they didn't think there was nothing that their kid Did wrong It's disturbing and I hope they don't have pets at home yeah no seriously i'm glad people actually like we're taking it seriously and reporting them and stuff because wow i'm sure so many people get away with terrible stuff terrible um yikes the end the end um well it's my turn for another from another gem from Gem City Cat Fae in Dayton, Ohio. This is a one-star review by Joanne.

You have to pay $10 per person to see the cats. And yes, your two-year-old will count as a person. Super disappointed to find that out when we arrived after it not being obvious at all on their website. after it not being obvious at all on their website go buy yourself a coffee and a cookie somewhere else and then make a donation to the real animal shelter where you can see their animals for free end of review this running theme of these places costing money ten dollars usually i think everything i read was ten dollars um like per hour and it goes toward the non-profit usually like what do you think they're doing with this money exactly paying for their staff caring for the cats could you imagine if it's free

and people like this would just show up and let their two-year-old whip cat wands around what yeah it just drove me crazy reading so many people saying $10. That's insane. And I'm like, well, then go to a normal cafe and spend $10 and don't get cats. Don't get to play with cats. Also, just the fact that they even outright said, and yes, your two-year-old is a person. It's like, well, well, yeah. I mean, they should charge them more for two-year-olds. Honestly, they probably have to have a higher insurance policy for two-year-olds. This is an email from Maria.

She, her, she, for Shrenda Dorcus. It's getting out of hand, people. Who, by the way, says, I live right next to a Schieffer Street. That's weird. I know. So Blue Cat Cafe in Austin, Texas. Have you heard about this? Blue Cat Cafe? says i live right next to a sheifer street that's weird i know uh so blue cat cafe in austin texas have you heard about this blue cat cafe oh my god your face is not looking no it's not did they do something bad yes shit yeah i'm just gonna read it to you oh dear god this is a trouble troubling

episode the email was like just buckle up basically happy birthday abigail happy birthday happy sweet 16th here how many times do we have to tell teens to stop listening you're not allowed here abigail we never we never allowed you here uh okay blue cat cafe in austin texas two stars great concept but you gotta boycott blue cat because of the owner's family's white nationalist ties that interrupt the intentions can't mix vegan values in a safe space for white nationalists nice idea too bad about the alt-right affiliation pros cats are great vegan food is great cons white nationalist slash alt-right affiliation comma not the best feline enrichment protocols either okay that was surprisingly like well stated yeah i mean not that it should be i'm just saying like i i could see myself writing a really like just aggressive mean review instead of being very like

matter of fact about all these very it is troubling how that's kind of like a oh this is a con that they happen to be white nationalists you know two stars you know you know like oh i would have given more stars but darn like that's that is troubling love that oat milk latte but damn it's like the confederate flag up front just really ruins the vibe yeah it's like oh my god what happened like was there a news article like what how do they know is it just a local thing people know sorry i'm just it's all it's that's wild it's a lot um also before i get any further i would like to petition to make our next pin say can't mix vegan values in a safe space for white nationalists.

No, I don't want that to be a thing. But I feel like that would be such a fun little sticker. Can't mix... What about this? Christina, this is fun. Okay, yeah. Can't mix vegan values. Let's find a way to put white nationalists on our merch. I love it, Christina.

I know you're really about this somehow, for some reason. Can't mix vegan... Okay, yeah. Forget it. It's not going to work. It's not going to work work it should have brainstormed more before before recording man it's okay we'll have a meeting a brainstorming session i'm not gonna have a brainstorming session about this god that's crazy though i mean i'll get into it

okay there's a lot you get into whatever you need to get into no i mean i'll explain it to you after you read your next review. Oh. Because I have more of this. Oh, you have more of this play. Okay. Because I am very curious how this is a thing. You'll hear the whole story.

Yikes. Okay. My next one is of Perfect Day Cat Cafe. Okay. That's not too bad. No, that one was good. That was pretty good. This is a one-star review by Isaac.

I booked online for my four-year-old daughter during check-in they said i need to pay for myself as well which sounded very odd i did not want her to be in the room with a bunch of adult strangers by herself so i told them i cannot leave my daughter alone there in addition she is a child and she might not be gentle with the cats and they might scratch her. So I need to keep an eye on her. They said we cannot let you in, only your child. Very strange policy. Staff is very rude and they clearly don't understand that someone cannot leave their child unattended with stranger adults. Never going back. Advice to the owners, please update your reservation system and make it clear that reservation for a child requires a reservation for an adult also,

and train the staff to be nicer to people, especially people with children. You can be rude to me as much as you want, but not in front of my daughter. End of review. What? There's an owner response. Okay, I think I know what happened. Yeah, I... And it's not what they're saying happened exactly also um i like the sass that you brought with your owner response like that one was perfect and i loved it uh i didn't come across any of that

most of the owner responses i got were very very polite apologetic not apologetic like very matter of fact and telling what happened so like kind of clearing the air right but at the end of the day we're very like well i don't know it was weird kind of like oh well it was good i'm vegan but i'm not a white nationalist so it's pros and cons two stars that kind of like straight narrow response just like that that's exactly what it was so here's what this owner had to say first let me say how lovely and well behaved your daughter was it was a disappointment to see her face when you chose to leave we agree that children of her age should not be unattended which is why on the reservation screen it states quote all ages are welcome inside the cat lounge and all children under the age of 13 must be accompanied by a paid End quote. Which is why Robert asked that you pay for yourself and offered to go over our 14-person limit so you could be with your daughter.

When you asked if she could go in alone, he made an exception to the rule because we had a schoolteacher on staff who offered to stay with her because you objected to paying we love children at the perfect day cafe and we are one of the few cat cafes without an age limit when your daughter your wife and yourself went in after refusing to pay for the additional parties you were politely asked to pay but refused a second time we refunded your reservation and politely said goodbye. We understand that not everyone agrees with the fees, but without them we would go out of business. The age limit rules are under restrictions in the third paragraph down. Bottom

line is you were invited to go into the room, but refused to pay for your full party. This is not respectful to those who did pay and to the cafe itself, which utilizes those fees to continue our mission. End of response. Oh my God.

It's even worse than I thought. Thinking that you pay for your daughter and therefore that gets you in for free. I don't understand how that would, anyone would think that's how it works. It makes no sense. I don't really get it. Again, it's $10.

Let's just reiterate that. Second of all, I didn't realize like they actually were offered like yes we'll have a teacher chaperone your kid since you don't want to pay or we'll go over the capacity because that's what i thought happened is they made a reservation they said sorry we don't have room for two people only one yeah but like they said you can go in if you want you just have to to pay the fee. And then they went in anyway without paying. And they were politely asked to pay again.

And they still wouldn't pay. So blatantly. Like, this is why I would be so incapable of running like any sort of brick and mortar business. Because if people behaved like this in front of me, I think I would my mind i don't know how no i can't imagine i oh it's one thing reading them on the internet but to encounter somebody like that yeah my head hurts just thinking about it i like after our podcast why i would never want to do anything in in that world ever because of customers all because of the customers yeah customers suck you're literally running a cat cafe and trying to like save cats and this is the kind of shit you have

to do with right poor child too who just wanted to go i know i hated that part where they were like it was so sad to see the look on your daughter's face which i gotta say is like good sneak in like and that's why when you first said like oh it's like really like polite it is but it's also like so cutting because it's scathing but at the same time very well done where it doesn't come across as aggressive and i think that's why it works so perfectly yeah and i found that in everyone and all the ones that complained about money the ten dollars yeah we're basically like we would go out of business but they were saying like we totally understand blah blah blah like but what you're saying is like we don't deserve the money but what you're saying is you don't

want these cats to have food tonight i see that's okay you can have your opinion yeah you can bring your gun into a different cat store i mean it's just mind-boggling bonkers okay here's another review uh this is of the same place we're gonna get a little more into this uh the rabbit hole okay careful how you quote this blue cat cafe in austin texas is a one-star review by fernando beware i came here twice to check out adopting a cat the cats were very unhealthy and unstable the food and drink situation is extremely unsanitary here. They wanted $75 to adopt a cat. Much cheaper to adopt a healthy cat with all its shots from Austin Animal Center.

A staffer at this place told me they openly support white supremacy. What else do you need to know? End of review. Everyone's throwing that in like it's a sort of afterthought. I know. That's what's like really scary is I think that it's become so normalized. I mean, it's a terrifying thought and but it really has become this like weirdly normal thing that people are connected to white nationalism including top ranking politicians

and everything it's like bummer so anyway let me just tell you that being like the yeah like you said like kind of just thrown in there at the end like oh yeah and, yeah. And also they said they support white nationalists or whatever. They support white supremacy. Jesus Christ. I wanted to get a cat there, but it was too expensive. But also they're white nationalists. So, OK, fuck. Here's the information.

This is from Maria. All right. OK, this is the same person who sent these reviews gave me a little insight into this place. This cat cafe was built on top of the ruins of a family-owned pinata shop which was demolished without notice everyone in town was rightfully pissed especially because it's in a rapidly gentrifying area also the owner went on alex jones's show and alex jones apparently lives in austin to complain about vandalism on the property and then because of this appearance on alex jones's

show managed to raise fifteen thousand dollars mostly from alt-right nationalists uh for the repairs holy fuck and so it became this just like wild story where this cat cafe i guess the people i read an article about it the people who um on eater i think maria sent that to where the owner wanted to build this cat cafe did like a go fund me raised a bunch of money to open it but then like the construction company she partnered with tore down this like family without any notice apparently like just tore this family's store down and according it's allegedly because the family says like we didn't get any notice they just tore our store our store down and according it's allegedly because the family says like we didn't get any notice they just tore our store our store down and then they say no we gave them notice anyway and then they

built this shop and then um the owner went on alex jones's show and then claimed to not realize it was like a biased news channel quote unquote and then when she made a bunch of money from all right folks she said oh well it doesn't like i don't care where i get money from you know and so it's all sorts of shady jeez the end anyway there were a ton of reviews but it's like what like this is what i meant when at the beginning i was like this is such a wild yeah topic for this to come up yeah something like a cat cafe you wouldn't think and i think that shows how troubling it is how things are i mean the fact that a cat cafe we can't even have a connection yeah that's connections to the whites of brunswick it's terrifying in today's economy saving money is like an extreme sport coupon clipping It's terrifying. and stack up the savings on kudo internet a sweet phone plan netflix disney plus and amazon prime

all starting at just 99 a month stack more spend less the happy stack only at kudo conditions apply so my next one uh was sent in actually by a couple people and maybe more if i missed it so and you might also have the same review uh but the people that i have that got it were brought it were tush and fred what sorry i said that weird fred i was like what a name i was double checking i thought tush was wild and then you said fred with eight vowels so it's a uh nico's cat cafe n-e-k-o in seattle washington um tush wants a shout out to uh evelyn walker who turned them onto this podcast so hi evelyn evelyn walker what a name and uh frayed says really enjoy your show again tush is the least like of my concerns in these trio of names somehow. And I really wanted to read this email because saying it's my favorite when Alex says what?

He sounds like Scooby Doo. What? I do? Yes. Like I sound like Scooby? Like the dog? No, you sound like Shaggy. Shaggy.

Okay. Okay. But like we've gotten that before. Have you not seen that? I don't think so i've always seen it i've always meant to like note it but i think i'm so used to it that i never remember fred thinks i sound like the dog because what maybe you do he sounds like scooby-doo parentheses that's a compliment wait maybe you do yeah no wait it is scooby-doo it's not shaggy

okay i well now i'm just gonna be i'm not self-conscious. I take it as a compliment, but now I want to focus on it while doing it, but I don't think... You go, what? I'll have to re-listen to old episodes. Anyway. It sounds like Scooby. He's right. And if anyone knows what Scooby-Doo sounds like, it is Fred.

It is Fred. That's true. You did it again. Yeah. True. You really do have that inflection. I do. Yeah. Okay. I see it now. Okay. And that wasn't even on again. Yeah. True. You really do have that inflection. I do. Yeah.

Okay. I see it now. Okay. And that wasn't even on purpose. No, it wasn't. Funny. Okay. Now everyone's going to notice it and it's going to bother some people.

They're going to be like, oh, now I can't stop noticing that. Here's a one-star review. This is a lot of buildup for this review. One star by Sam. All sam allergic to cats and a review i'm sorry for the build-up everybody it's i feel like that though does really just kind of epitomize the entire entirety of our show people leaving reviews at cat cafes one-star reviews complaining about being allergic i don't approve of your business and your mission and i don't support you and what you do for cats

because i'm allergic to them the end um it's not the end though because the owner did respond oh excellent here's what the owner has to say hello sam i'm sorry to hear that you are allergic to cats being allergic to anything is terrible i have an allergy to cilantro stop stop i'm sorry i can't i can't cope with this this is this is exactly what you were saying like the the responses that you found were just so like oh that's too bad that you can't take your gun into my store. Like, oh, I'm allergic to this. What? Yeah. Well, maybe. Here we go.

Ready? I didn't even finish the sentence. I have an allergy to cilantro, or so I think I do. And it makes life very difficult when eating out at my favorite restaurants. Regardless, reviews are a very important aspect of any business. For us, our mission is to brighten people's days and help cats in need get adopted we strive to create the most positive experience and provide extremely friendly service to all of our patrons end of response wow so i kind of liked that they were like it's not cool that you did this because i feel people and they were polite about it but i feel people need to get called out

for their one-star bullshit. I think it's people who get a notification, old people get a notification with their phone saying, oh, how was your time at this cat cafe? I wasn't there. I'm allergic to cats. And they just throw that out there to say, leave me alone, Google. Right, right. Not thinking that there are consequences to leaving a one-star review for a business. Not thinking that there are consequences to leaving a one-star review for a business?

I thought it was going to go, I'm allergic to cilantro, but that doesn't mean I leave my local taco place one star. Yeah. Because they serve cilantro. Like, I thought that's where we were going, which I was like, that's a good point. You know what? And there's more to this response. I just realized Fred left off a paragraph. I don't know what your agenda is, Fredred i'm just kidding fred also provided the link so then i clicked it and i was like wait there's more you want to hear the rest

yes is it i is it i would not rate a taco place one star um no actually it's actually interesting and very oh sorry it's actually interesting all right... Oh, sorry, it's actually interesting. Sorry. All right, you just read it then. Here's the rest of the owner response. Additionally, we have a separate room completely sealed off from the cats that would be perfect for allergic individuals like yourself. These reviews have a large impact on our business,

so I would implore you to try us out before jumping to the Google. All the best end of response they have way too much patience these cat cafe owners yeah michael are you listening you deserve some sort of award true okay this cat cafe i'm looking at the pictures now because i clicked the google link that uh fred provided it looks so trendy and cute and cool and of course kitties are adorable i just can't believe that they discriminate against people with allergies by putting them in a sealed off room and then never letting them out but i mean i guess it's kind of what else can you do what else can you do it's like account of cask of cask of monte cristo you okay

are you trying to make an edgar allen poe reference yeah i'm waiting for you to correct it's like the cat it's it has an a it's like starts with an a it's not i really didn't think it did it's like the cask of a mod a monteato really a monteato okay i would not have come up with that is that the one with the cat no that's like the black cat or something i think the cask one okay the black cat is a short story by edgar allen poe that has a cat and i think is that the cat in the wall yes that's the one i meant with this they seal these cat allergy people into a wall like well you're combining the two actually so the cask of uh amontillado or whatever it is um is where someone put another human walls them walls them off that's the one that i'm pretty sure and then the cat one was

there's like meowing in a wall and then like they ed brown pow needs to take a little inward look about his fixation on walls but anyway i feel like um i don't think he needs to anymore it's never too late to be who you always could have been f scott fitzgerald are you saying that to f scott fitzgerald because i think it's too late for him too anyway i was just thinking they sealed this guy off because he's allergic cats into the wall like cask of amontillado jesus that's a really dark reference like that's darker than like our franz kafka like you think so stuff i'd say so oh okay never mind then that's some dark shit take it back.

No, no, no. I appreciate it. I like it. I'm surprised. I'm a fan. You know, I did take my Zoloft today, so sometimes I forget and then I'm like, uh-oh. Edgar Allan Poe time. Silly goose. Anyway, is it my turn or your turn?

I think it's your turn. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's allergic to cats. Okay. He's in the walls, apparently. He's meowing in the walls okay so this is i already read sam's description and you read the review of that one oh all i have left are redemptions oh i have no redemptions so okay you will really like my redemptions oh good this

first one is also from sam they them and it's another one uh of the gem city cat fey in Dayton this is a five-star review by Steve and I feel like you'll appreciate it so I'm not a fan of cats nor of their coffee but I am still going to give this sounds like the cats are the ones making the coffee okay but that's my fault because that's my fault because it's not even what it says or it sounds as if just all cats make coffee and that's just their thing like saying oh i'm not a fan of cows or their milk you know like i'm not a fan of cats or their coffee that they try to peddle me whenever I see one on the street. Anyway, it's a great image.

But it doesn't even say that. I believe that. No, I'm sure you messed it up, but I'm glad. I didn't mess it up. I'm glad you did. I didn't mess it up. I'm glad you were so wrong. No, you read it.

I was trying to make it more palatable because it says, I'm not a fan of cats nor boston stoker coffee and so i looked that up and it's just the brand they use so i didn't want to like like have to explain like rip on some brand exactly so i was like oh i'll just say like oh they're they're coffee at this place but then i said that's funny okay i see i see what you're doing i would try to do the same thing. So I get it. So stupid. So stupid. I love it. What a good image. Okay.

Oh my God. So I'm not a fan. So I'm not a fan of cats nor the coffee here. Does that work? Yeah, I think that was great. Well done. Okay. Thank you.

Five stars. So I'm not a fan of cats nor the coffee here, but I'm still going to give this place a five they did a really amazing job with interior design everyone was super friendly and i really enjoyed my time there i really like the concept of what they're doing with the cats and if you are a cat lover you are going to love this place keep up the great work i love it the fact that the two elements of this place they don't like either of them? The main points of the whole thing. Yeah. Amazing. Oh, and I just realized this is a Dayton one, right?

Yep. So the coffee, I was like, oh, it's in Boston. Boston Stoker. Oh, yeah. I didn't even put that together either. So that must be, I guess, a brand up there? I'm not sure. I was like, oh, I've never heard of that.

Now I'm like, wait, maybe I should have. Can I read you the owner response? Yes. Oh, there's a response. Cute. I know. This is so wholesome thank you for keeping an open mind and giving us a chance we're so glad you stopped in

and appreciated the design we hope to see you again and find something on the menu for you that you love smiley face it's just like so that's so sweet we needed that after i'm allergic well i'm not done so i thought no i just have i said i didn't have any redemptions oh oh okay good good um but i i'm looking up boston stoker is a place in ohio centerville ohio near dayton that's probably why it's a no i'm just surprised i've never heard of it and it looks cute yeah well it's run by cats obviously it's cute no christina that's in her you thought i said that the cat i know oh i'm just the cats have their own thing like it's not this is like a worldwide thing i'm sorry i understand in this image you

gave me all the cats around the world part of what they do is create coffee i know boston stoker please i'm on a mission to merchandise these cats. Boston Stoker wishes. Merchandise the cats? The cats and their coffee. Oh, okay. Because I am a fan of the cats. Like you're going to like franchise them and like get little cat cafes where the cats are serving their coffee?

I already have. Have you heard of Boston Stoker? Jesus Christ. I'm a fan of their cats and their coffee. Okay. Sinner, look at the storm that's happening. It's like freaky outside. There's a storm outside?

Yeah, it's like starting to billow in. Wow. Spooky, huh? Yeah. That is spooky out there. It's like thunderstorm weather. Creepy. Ooh, what if the power goes out?

I don't want that to happen. The dumbest part is that we could still record. Right? Because this is all plugged into your laptop. Oh, yeah, we're good. Okay. So it would be very hilarious because we'd have to keep recording. Oh, my God, yeah.

I'm, like, checking everything. Oh, wait, I know. We're good. We could just keep doing this forever. Just light the coffin candle. Don't you fucking touch that candle. Okay, here's the thing. I'll scream.

Everyone's going gonna scream at me because i have something to confess you lit it no what did you do you broke it no so i m was like wow i can't believe you never light that candle and i was like m where have you been like we've posted these tiktoks we tagged you in it people tagged you in it and i was like i've never seen any of this and m does not pay any attention to anything i'm not surprised i also you always ask me did you see that thing i posted on instagram or you talk to me as if i know things i'm like i never saw that that's fair i feel like my worlds don't collide very often um and so except for when you know you're surrounded by people who are very like don't care about appreciate your content but

don't don't like it don't consume it or my coffee enough i i'm i'm saying i'm or your coffee okay what about this fucking candle so i was like oh so i made him watch it on the episode okay and so i watched it and was like cackling and then was like but that's so weird because mine doesn't smell at all and i was like no i'm like it smelled so bad and m was like can i ask you something and i was like yeah and I was like, no, Em, like, it smelled so bad. And Em was like, can I ask you something? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, can you look at the underside of the shelf that it was under? And I said, why?

And Em was like, just look at it. And I did. And Em was like, is it, like, burnt or discolored? And I was like, maybe. And Em was like, I think you were, like, burning that shelf. Are you serious? Someone's going to call, like. that shelf are you serious someone's gonna call like so those people who were commenting and telling you to move that candle were right yes Alex and her and I'm just as embarrassed as you think I am good you should be because they said oh don't put a candle there and I was like it's

fine and then Em was like will you please look underneath are you sure the candle doesn't smell I don't think it does because Em was like I promise you Em was like, will you please look underneath? Are you sure the candle doesn't smell? I don't think it does because Em was like, I promise you. Em was like, I burned that thing for like three days straight with Allison at the house because it didn't have a smell. And I looked here and I like. I see it now. You can see it? Yeah. I literally like melted the shelf.

And yes, everyone, I'm aware. And probably a lot of you are mad at me right now. And I deserve it. And it's not safe. And I shouldn't have done it. And I apologize. the shelf and yes everyone i'm aware and probably a lot of you are mad at me right now and i deserve it and it's not safe and i shouldn't have done it and i apologize okay i'm sorry i am i'm wrong and you're right and i'm never gonna burn it on this shelf anything on this shelf again wow but i think that's why it smelled so bad okay if you try that candle again just make sure i'm not i'm not planning to be here for at least seven days and then i'll test it yes no i'm saying like maybe i'll test it without me when i won't be

here for seven days then you'll come back and i'll look at you and see if you can tell that i've burned it oh i see yes well no you'll be able to tell when you test it by yourself you don't need me to come back and be like huh that's true i trust your nose enough okay okay my next one was from page who sent in a review of pounce cat cafe cute in savannah georgia like it and it was so they posted a status on Facebook saying, have you ever wanted to bop, parentheses, claws and all someone through the Internet? Yeah, same. And then a picture of a really grumpy looking cat, cutie, but very grumpy, mad about something. And then a screenshot of a review that they received.

I just picture all of these cat cafe people being like like really just murderous rage on the inside and then being like have you ever wanted to bop someone they just make you a little grumpy and you're like are you okay because i feel like i would be fuming and you seem like pretty well on the outside are you holding it together on the inside me personally no yeah sorry that was separate that was just me asking yeah no i'm not okay same here's a two star there's a two star review they posted most of the cats hid in their little cubbies for the whole hour one of the people with me got scratched twice at different times cats tried to drink my lemonade. They have food for the cats to eat, but only about two fat cats actually eat it.

The rest just sit around and watch. Also very strange advertising signs outside. Never going again. End of review. And the owner responded and said, hi, thanks for giving us a shot. What can we say? Cats will be cats. End of response. Like what else can you say or do nothing literally nothing so first of all the cats are not

interesting enough because they're in the cubbies but then they want to come and smell my lemonade and god forbid they come anywhere near it except then the others are just sitting there watching only the two fat ones are eating this one wants my lemonade sounds like a lot is going on and yet they're like oh they're just in their cub fat ones are eating. This one wants my lemonade. Sounds like a lot is going on. And yet they're like, oh, they're just in their cubbies for the whole hour. This one wants my lemonade. This one's not eating. Ridiculous. What can these cats do to please you, sir?

This is like the time when I was thinking about this yesterday when I adopted Gio. And he kept trying to drink my lemonade. And we were at the shelter. That's when you like brought him back right and then you huh he drank your lemonade you brought him back oh to the shelter yeah yeah uh so i picked him up from the shelter and i like went there specifically to meet him because i'd seen his little thumbnail on the internet and i was like that's my dog and i was there in this picture not his actual thumb this guy picture not his actual thumb no not his claw no um and so uh there was this other guy there who went to adopt a dog and um there were a couple dogs playing and he sat there very like tough and

he was looking around and he pointed at you he pointed at one dog who was um really playful and he was like tell it to stop moving so much tell it to calm down and they were like sir it's a puppy like we can't do that and then i'm sorry it's not funny it's just it doesn't even sound like a real human and then his girlfriend was like honey that one's so cute it was like some sort of chihuahua shiba inu mix or something and she's like he's so cute he's so cute and he's like i want a dog that respects me. And I was like, okay, this person is troubled. And then when they brought Gio out for me to meet him, I was like holding him and stuff. And the guy was like, I want to meet that one next and pointed at Gio.

And I was like, oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. And so I took Gio home. I'm glad. He's not ready to be adopted. And I was like, that's fine. I'll do it anyway. And then they said, okay, we'll take half off your adoption fee.

Because he's not ready. And I was like, this. You never told me that when you plopped him on my chest while I was sleeping. You guys, I just went home and put a dog on Alexander. I said, hello, look what I brought home. And we lived together. Anyway. And then Blaze left.

And then Blaze literally. The state. Or was he in whatever regardless he left oh he left the entire coast he left uh he went back to the east coast and he said i think this is a great idea for you to adopt a dog okay anyway i want a dog that respects me i will never get over that i'm like you are a sicko okay so how many more do you have none oh okay so i just have a redemption cool this is from megan she her who actually sent this in may of 2020 which is when you did the allergy challenge

sounds like a terrible tiktok i pricked myself with a bunch of different allergens i was gonna say eat the cilantro and see what happens um the allergy challenge that you did and uh it's uh it's funny because back then you were still responding to all the emails which like can you imagine no like one on one by one you were like responding to them and so you wrote an email you wrote an email back and i told you i was like i don't know you can't do this forever it's not sustainable it's not sustainable and so um you wrote back and you were like oh megan i'm so bummed like uh we already recorded this on thursday but thank you for sending and she like included a picture of her cat and you were like i love the pic anyway um point being this is a review that is now getting okay good use megan deserves it

you're welcome megan and thank you this is a meow parlor in New York City. Wait, can I see something? I just have like a nagging thought. I knew it. I knew it. Megan's cat is named Toby. How did you know that? Because I remembered being like, that's so weird. I feel like her cat's name was Toby, but I might just be thinking that because we're talking about Toby.

Did you not have the email right in front of you? no no i just sorry i just had like the review and i wrote some weird a little note but anyway really weird watching that unfold sorry but you wrote because i remember in your response you wrote like i miss toby just from the photo or something that's weird why i i now i'm uncomfortable knowing you're like reading my old emails to fans my fan mail when i work when i you're the only person with a fan base who writes oh my god not anymore um you put two brown faces and one smiley face in this email i don't know what's wrong with me no it was really sweet i'm not trying to shit on you no no i know it's it was like very kind um wow okay anyway it just cracks me up because uh we were talking about toby's cat parlor or whatever and that's actually her cat's name okay this is meow parlor in new york city and this is a four star review by lewis

oscar i hope he got adopted he was such a tubby tabby i'm allergic to cats but that's okay i'm not allergic to love so they finally provide snacks in the cafe itself. Good. I didn't mind walking around the corner to their other brick and mortar, but I mean, it says cafe. There's a certain pleasure in eating cat shaped foods with cats. It's even better when you find one that matches your personality and you both sit there in a corner,

meowing and getting fat. That's me and Oscar. There's lots of toys for when they're active. And most of the sleeping spots provide a view anyway, if you still want to enjoy the presence of a napping kitty. The reservation process is a little annoying. You know, booking online and whatnot. There seems to be a lot of empty space. I'm not an expert cat person, so I can't say if that's healthy or unhealthy for the cats.

Just an observation. I'm definitely coming back. Sitting in a cafe with cats sounds like a better use of my time and money than sitting in a cafe with people uh furless primates is this a cat i feel like the energy really does match like a dog or like some sort of uh very peppy animal half wish oscar is there the other half wishing he of course has a home what a fat cat end of review that's so cute i think that was like one of the funniest uh things i've ever heard anyway so that is all i've got for caca face lovely what a good end thank you for that so my challenge this week uh was provided by danielle they them pronouns and it's to find positive

reviews of a product that broke or didn't work as intended for an example for example an item being repurposed uh to to be used as something it wasn't initially intended to be used for like an art project for example was an example i think right yes yes i think is what danielle's i could i have i loved this challenge because it reminds me of it's sort of like the one you did last time i already forget what it was um even though i think it was yesterday that we recorded it uh don't worry i forget too okay good where you were supposed to it was the uh the gross foods oh yeah yeah where there's like a lot of options which so you could actually you didn't

you you were able to be picky yes exactly which can get tough sometimes where if you just and then it gets boring if you're just reading whatever like it technically fits the challenge three total yeah right i had so much fun with this because there were quite a few um and so i have a couple favorites here this first one is on amazon it's of dci candy heart led lights glow in the dark usb and charging cable 46 inch compatible with iphone 5 5s 6 6 plus 7 7 plus 8 models it's basically a cord of like little christmas lights like rainbow lights and you plug it in your phone yeah it's like a phone charger oh but the idea is you plug it into your computer and your phone and it like lights up okay like kind of like little that seems useless but fairy lights you know so it's probably half the shit i own i wanna yeah same i wanna to not you cough at candle.

I want to point out that a lot of the reviews I got were like three stars. Okay. Just because there are definitely like five like positive. I wasn't supposed to be positive. That's what you said. Positive reviews of a product. But. Oh, okay. For many people, they would say view that as a positive review for

something that doesn't work yeah right okay so this is a three-star review by eliza verified purchase title is doesn't always work i loved this but it does not always charge my phone it gives me the notification that is not a supported device. So I just use it as a desk decoration for the holidays and plugged it into my laptop. It's basically a little string lights. Which I think it makes it tight. It's just as you. Okay, I guess technically, no, it's less useful. But like, I don't know.

As long as it lights up, that's the fun part. Yeah, if you only plug it in when you're charging your phone. Okay, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. So this is just kind of an easy like toe in the water start here. Yeah. The next thing is some.

Can't wait till we get to the Marianas Trench of what you've come across. Oh, well, I'm going to read you reviews of grenades for kids. Pretend play. Grenades for kids. Yeah. is there is it like the number four or is it spelled out is there a z at the end of grenades it is it says for kids grenades for pretend play that's so weird i know i mean like i okay as someone with nerf guns and stuff whatever but like i don't know grenades it seems really specific i think it's disturbing i mean i'm sorry i do i simply do uh but whatever i mean people can come at me for that but i find it disturbing

because some of the reviews were like they don't look realistic enough and i'm like yikes but why i just googled it is it like these fuckers yeah yeah they look like real grenades yeah that is scary they're not like toys i mean they are toys but like they don't look like toys it's not like a nerf gun where it's purple and orange and has foam you know what i mean like it's it's meant to look like an actual grenade i think i feel like it's purple and orange and has foam you know what i mean like it's it's meant to look like an actual it's i think i feel like it's not a toy enough where if someone found that they should probably call somebody to like make sure it's safe i wouldn't say oh look a cute toy yeah i'd see that on the ground be like maybe I should contact someone just in case this is real. Yeah, exactly. That's weird.

They're disturbing. And I have two question and answers here that fit the challenge. So here's one. This is by That Mom Lady. The question is, how many come with each order? Four? And she writes, there are four. And two of them broke within 10 minutes of the bag being opened we were just using them as props for a halloween costume so the fact that

they didn't work wasn't a big deal but they are very cheaply made so the fact that they didn't work sorry i i assume they meant like they didn't work as the toys intended but it sounded like they're saying the fact that they didn't blow up is fine because... Right? Yeah. Exactly. Okay. Well, I have one more and this is by Gloria.

The question was, how durable are they? I go airsofting a lot so I want grenades to throw as a distraction. Would I be able to throw these? That's kind of funny. And Gloria responds,

not durable at all. They're kind of cheap. My son threw one at me playing around and it broke real quick i instead used them as decor for my son's room oh so basically these are two uses halloween costume and decor yeah they're meant as a toy and then people are like i'm just gonna string these on some lights and uh that was good yeah that's solid yeah the ones that said like they don't look realistic enough disturb me a little bit because they are very realistic looking and to you yes to me

obviously but like to a five-year-old i would imagine also i don't know i don't know maybe lots of call of duty nowadays that's true back in my day if i i could see myself getting these being like they're not realistic enough mom the pin doesn't come out from this side. No, but do you know how they work with these toys? I mean... You pull the pin and then... You pull the pin.

And you throw it. And it starts ticking. And then, obviously, once it's done ticking, it goes... Stop! Sinner, stop. Sorry, you just really scared me. I didn't expect that last bit.

I expected everything up until the fake explosion. Sorry. That was really stupid. That just shows you how many reviews I read where they literally just described that for some reason. I didn't know for sure. I'm just being annoying. But'm just being like make the sound and then they make an explosion noise and some people were like it wasn't loud enough i'm like what is going on they like throw it really far away it's like i can't hear it did it go off yet um okay so the next product i have is the oasis hamster and mouse drinking tube jesus we're all over the place.

I love these, though. Two points for ounces. I love these. Remember when we talked about the challenges being a way to read reviews of things that we wouldn't normally read? Oh, 100%. Yeah. I love that.

It's so bizarre. That's so much fun. Because you do it backwards where you look up certain phrases and stuff. And then you're like, they sell this? You're like, what's a mouse drinking tube? But OK. What is a mouse drinking tube? It's a way for a mouse to drink out of a tube it's so it's not the tube though no it's like how does it work oh it is the tube yeah okay yeah to drink out of

not to go into okay yeah not like a tube for a mouse but you're saying the tube is so that mice can drink out of a tube correct wait here i'll show you so the tube is a tube that mice drink out correct here it's called oh my god sorry this one is also called four kids with the number four but it's for hamsters and mice the hamster one is yeah easy for kids are you sure it's not forsters and mice. The hamster one is? Yeah, easy for kids. Are you sure it's not for goats? Easy for... Oh, that's... Easy for kids, my hamster's drinking water tube. A clean, sanitary way to offer drinking water.

Perfect for little hands to refill and care for... And then it cuts off. So it makes it easier for children to care for their hamster. That's sweet. That is a sweet idea um it has terrible reviews uh but that's okay this is a two-star review so it didn't really fit the challenge but i just i needed to read a review of a cat or of a mouse drinking tube two stars by brd verified purchase i received this item with deformed suction cups i tried to improvise all sorts of stuff just to make sure this thing will stick to the walls of my glass and plastic tanks to no avail. It always falls off after a couple of hours.

I ran out of ways to secure it to my tank, so I just use it as a test tube now. An overpriced test tube. End of review. How much is it? $9.99. How much is a test tube? That's what I'm wondering. 130 millimeter glass pre-rolled tube is $218 on this one.

Okay, here. No, on Amazon you can buy... I'm just kidding. It's $218 for 400 of them. Oh, okay. I was like, holy shit. Chemist must be rich. Okay.

But yeah, I mean, hey, but you get a single test tube. So you're paying for it being a single test tube instead of a pack of, say, 15. What if you just want one test tube? Also, what is this person doing with a test tube if they don't already have test tubes? That's kind of what caught my eye was, well, now I got this test tube. And I'm like, for what? Curious. So curious. Right? what did we do with test

tubes back in the day we oh our dna remember that whole weirdness what were you make a dna ornament do you remember that alexander yeah way to spit into it that seems sketchy as hell yeah maybe that's what this person's doing. If my child is making a DNA ornament. Making a DNA ornament is what they're doing with their mouse drinking tube? What if earlier when you said, what is that used for? And I said, it's used for making DNA ornaments. Oh, my God. I'm like trying to Google this, but I don't.

That might have just been something really weird our creepy school did. Is that not a thing? Can people write in and tell us, please, dear God, if you had to make DNA ornaments? That sounds so disturbing when you say it. We made these little ornaments with our own DNA to give to our family members. It sounds really disturbing. I'm typing in DIY DNA ornament. Yeah, no. I'm finding nothing of this folks

somebody tell me that this is oh i'm disturbed now yeah now i'm like also it's weird how we never got those ornaments they just ended up sending them to some lab that was the weirdest part to me and then like weirdly all these like doppelgangers from all of our classmates started popping up oh it's so annoying um i didn't notice that i just noticed that i didn't get my ornament back okay maybe it's because you are the doppelganger you're the clone of yourself that explains so much it does it good i'm glad you've got that closure okay sorry this is my favorite one okay what the hell is it for it's for a sandisk micro sd to sd memory card adapter micro sd adapter black what the heck i like this because i get

to find out what else you could use it for other than whatever the hell they wanted it for. I don't know. You could. It's a five star review. Okay. Verified purchase by AS401. Here's the review. Well, I ordered it because I lost the one I had from years ago only to find it when this arrived. Now too lazy to return it.

So I just use it as a bookmark for a book. I'm reading works pretty good. And the title of the review is great bookmark. How many gigabytes? Doesn't say. Okay. It's just an adapter. Oh, it's an adapter.

Sorry. I was thinking of an actual like. No, it's just the adapter. Let me see. Like an actual SD card. It only costs three dollars and 40 cents okay i was like that seems like a lot to use technology still an overpriced bookmark if you ask me i mean unless it's yeah yeah for what i mean for what this bookmark probably looks like

yeah and for the size but um that's so funny that was my favorite one because i was like because i what a positive attitude i think i searched, so I use it as a bookmark just to see what would come up. Oh, that's funny. And. I would not expect that. I tried that with ashtray. Didn't work. I tried that with, with plant, like a potted plant.

Now I just like put plants in it or something. That didn't work. But bookmarked it. Good ideas though. So that was a success. So that's all I got for you that was beautiful beautifully done thank you so much yeah oh my gosh um okay well i think we already gave her we did we did and um i'm gonna go make uh dinner for you and blaze i can't wait we're gonna

go watch some soccer living the dream living the dream thanks everybody is that it we gave you we front-loaded this episode with a bunch of bullshit so we did didn't we can just leave i guess before the power goes out oh bye bye