Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 194: Reviews of Summer Camps

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

Warning: This episode might induce estranged relations with one's parents. Buy your tickets for our Chicago (Beantown) show! beachtoosandy.com/tour Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Get our new Bitch Too Sandy pin and pin board!!! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/hauntedtofu Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Check out our Instagram: instagram.com/beachtoosandy Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human up or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast. But I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, everyone, and welcome to Beach to Sandy Water 2 at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion.

My name is X-Teen. My name is X-Andy. And welcome to our show. Oh, somebody outside just went woo. Yeah, they're a fan of my new name. Man, we got to close the blinds before the paps. What is happening out there? I don't know. I think the paps are here. I ignored it because i didn't know what you meant the first time now i get it smear it

i jesus i've had two sips of wine i don't know i haven't had any so this is gonna be a problem i did light my intention candle do i need to if you tell the intention it doesn't come true right i think if you tell the intention it absolutely comes true i think it the opposite happens the opposite happens oh well that's bad because my intention was for your health so i probably shouldn't have said it out loud no um he's listening sorry pd here's what i have in my notes okay bring up wezzle wezzle you didn't let me bring it up in the Between You and Us. No. Even though I did.

Yeah. Yeah. And I still haven't looked. I don't even remember Wessel. It was like one brief thing where I read a review and they said, don't try to Wessel your way out of this. Yeah. Yeah.

And you thought it was funny. And then we laughed. And then we were like let's make that a pin yeah I wrote it down on the list and so the Lucas who's a wonderful designer at DFTBA designed this amazing weasel pin it's so cute but then it's exactly as I described exactly it's so cute I just don't remember like I'm the one who told him to do it do it it says weasel and then my fear was oh my gosh what if we try to sell this? And people are like, what the hell is a Wessel?

And so now I feel like we need to reinstate it in the canon of Beach She Sandy. I love how you don't care that we have a pin coming that says getting porch pegged or whatever. Porch pegging. Because that one's obvious. Everyone knows what porch pegged or whatever porch pegging. Because that one's obvious. Everyone knows what porch pegging is. True. True. That was the Cracker Barrel episode.

We talked about it like more extensively. That's true. I feel like no one has brought up Wessel ever except us. So now this is me forcing it into the narrative. It's so cute that it doesn't matter please just buy one just to have it even selling it soon i don't know what our next pin is in the design and thought it was cute i think porch packing's coming up so anyway build up the anticipation yeah exactly uh so alexander summer camps yeah i've never been to one me neither yeah we have the same parents so it's

not very surprising i once went to like a week-long summer summer winter camp no i went to a week-long tennis camp which was just like and you know what and i went to a computer camp like a week-long computer camp yeah you did do that mine wasn't away from home though mine was just like an hour a day where i had to run in the heat um yikes but you went to a sleep away yeah that's where i peed out the window oh geez yeah i never went to camp we we were we did with school we did woodland altars oh my god sound familiar there was this guy named rainbow there and he took a bunch of the students into the woods and they didn't come back for like hours and they called the police i'm dead serious i know i know and then they came back and he was like i taught them about all the different mushrooms and then he got fired um anyway woodland altars creepy stuff happening

there so creepy there was a black widow spider i've never seen so many stars in my life what a time to be alive that's where i found out that you can chomp on lifesavers to make sparks yeah the wintergreen yep that's where i found out that yeah i found out it doesn't work on cherry i went through like 200 of those that's why he had so many cavities that summer that's's why I found out Nina had a crush on Chris. Yeah, it was a dramatic weekend overnight stay. Also slept at the zoo overnight one time. Oh, yeah, me too.

Anyway. I'm glad we're bringing this up because I want to be able to say that, yeah yeah i don't really know much about going to camp never had a traditional summer camp so reading some of these complaints i was like yeah seems kind of shitty but then the response was this is how it is at all camps so um i don't know let's hopefully have some fun reviews though yeah we'll see um i'm gonna definitely continue to complain as the i i told blaise you know it's not like i use this show to just bring up um all the qualms i have with my childhood no or anything like that so don't even worry about it no you'd never would would never do that so this is a first review it's from tina who said she's our one true belgian fan

and i just want to know if there are any pretenders to the throne out there. I'm not. This isn't a challenge. I heard pretenders to the throne earlier this week on a podcast. And I said, I have to use that. What is that? It means like someone who's challenging the person with the crown. That's fun.

Yeah. At least that's what I think it means. Yeah. I don't know. So that's what Tinaina said uh in her throne so this is of a german language summer camp in berlin starting off incredibly strong and traumatic uh this is three stars by emily age 15 and the name of the camp gls berlin west end summer school program Berlin West End Summer School Program. Intensive German camp. Nothing about that sounds good.

This is called Subpar Summer by Emily, age 15. To the camp's credit, some of the classes were truly excellent, but please know that you will be circulating through one to three teachers over the course of any given week. Furthermore, the other children here are simply apathetic. Nobody is enthused to learn, that is. The academic landscape is desolate and unfulfilling. There were kids falling asleep in classes and so on.

To further evidence this, as for the free time, we either had next to no time to ourselves or several hour spans of time during which the only options for activities entailed making a 20-minute trek to the local supermarket and playing ping pong. In spite of the aforementioned atrocities, one of the camp's most blatant shortcomings was the fact that the Wi-Fi didn't work in the rooms. As such, the camp induces estranged relations with one's parents. All ties back home were severed for me. To compound it, the food here is, frankly, uninspired. Most of the people whom I knew just defaulted to rations, which they kept in their rooms to sustain themselves over the weeks. End of review. Oh my god.

I gotta say, put this girl in an English language camp because she could be the counselor. True. I mean the counselor. True. I mean, wow. Wow. The aforementioned atrocities. Atrocities is a very strong word to use. I would never use the word atrocities. When discussing a German camp?

When discussing most things. Anything. There are some atrocities, but they are real bad. And I'm not discussing them on the podcast. No, sure. Of course not. No. It's not really Wi-Fi that doesn't work so well yeah the thing is though i hear all this it sounds shitty yeah no i'm not i'm not trying to put you know down in her experience here but

wow do they have a way with words i mean it straight it induces estranged relations with one's parents this sounds like someone they all had the same experience that didn't work for everyone it i i had i didn't bring it but i read a review where a mom was complaining and saying like i pray for the safety of my kid they won't let me call her every day um my it was her ex husband who sent their daughter to camp for a week over the summer and she was typing in this review gave them one star and then was saying that she's praying for her because they won't let her call because they have a strict like one call a week or something thing maybe it was for a month camp i don't know but the mom was like writing all this

stuff and the the cab responded and said oh your daughter seemed to have a blast she was so great uh i'm sorry you were in this situation and it's so weird it doesn't seem to warrant a one-star review for us we didn't do anything wrong we kept handing her the phone and she kept just hanging up and we were like your mom's calling and she's like oh oh no sorry i uh i'm just gonna mute this real quick it stressed me out because i don't i i can't say i wouldn't be anxious in the mom's position of course not but also i'd be anxious in the kids position having a mom trying to call every day well that's because you'd feel you'd feel like the camp induced estranged relations with one's parents yes exactly that's what it reminded me of yeah i just thought for a

different language camp to be so just poignant with your words was just uh that they write it in german underneath oh that would be something else that honestly that would go against their point though because i feel like then this camp really did work for you. Yeah. But I don't blame them. I had a similar thing where I was studying abroad in Berlin. We did not speak German to each other. God, all I did in Berlin was speak German.

It was horrible. We just goofed off and, like, drank in the park and went to soccer games. See, I'm so jealous. And I learned nothing so yeah i was traumatized yeah many times i was one of those students that this student is complaining about i'm sure i'm very guilty hold on my first review is of lake lucerne camp in Neshkoro, Wisconsin. This is a two-star review by Steve. Great facility and program, but don't trust Toby. End of review.

Oh my god, that really did take me by surprise. And it's their one and only review that they've written across Google. What did Toby do? Obviously something profound. It was so bad. Something. Dare I say Toby committed atrocities? It's entirely possible.

It is entirely possible. He cut the Ethernet cable in half and everyone was estranged from their one's parents. Yeah, Toby. I got to say with a name like Toby, you gotta step it up you know like the bar is so high for someone named toby because true you're starting on a bad foot yeah like good thing i named this person oh right maybe that's why i'm like oh well i thought what would fit well here with the name like like Toby. Right? It's a pretty fitting one, right? I don't trust Toby. Which I almost said is such a German name. And then I remembered we're not doing German camp, but it is in Wisconsin. Yeah, it could be. Well, I'm actually back at German camp. Oh, good. Thank goodness. A different one. This is the one mom tried to send me to. Oh, is this the one in Oregon? Yeah. Or at least I thought it was in Minnesota.

I was confused. Okay. So it's in Oregon. What is it called? Concordia Language Villages. Okay. And they have all these. I think this is the one.

She might have tried to send me to an off-brand one. This is in Minneapolis, Minnesota, I mean. I don't know. No, I don't know. These are like all different ones. They have like tons of different languages. I saw some of those. But I thought that was. These are like all different ones. They have like tons of different languages. I saw some of those. German summer camp. Okay, I recognize that I'm just being a whiny brat. As I was when my mom told me she was going to send me to Concordia Village learning camp, where I was not allowed

to speak English for the entire month. And they only give you like fake money, like Euro or Deutsche Mark, whatever the hell. Yeah, and then you have to go and like, to the butcher and buy your own meat and take it back to your like little dormitory like it was a lot for me at age nine and I remember being so overwhelmed and like I don't want to do this and I kind of freaked out yeah um my that's how we handled things yeah anxiety handling coping with anxiety was never any of our strong suits and so I freaked out and then I remember that was a day where I got on the computer and was like i need to figure out how to really use the internet because i went to the website read everything i could find about this camp and told

my mom like i won't be going i'm sorry and uh for you i'm glad you didn't man she was mad at me anyway it would have been good for you but it would have probably been excellent it probably would have been excellent i probably would have had a great time okay but so i recognize that i'm making a lot of conflicting statements here um anyway i'm just gonna read this one star review by darlene of concordia language villages if i could give less than one star, I would do so. My teenagers just returned from two weeks of Concordia, and while my daughter just didn't like it and wouldn't return,

my son said it was, quote, the two worst weeks of my life. He reported they did the same handful of boring activities every day. His actual words were that he was so bored out of his mind that he noticed a change in his personality quote every single day felt like two weeks end quote in addition the food was bad they don't know more of the language than they did before end of review that's pretty should have put that up top that's you're burying the lead here yeah wasn't that the whole point what if he said two worst weeks of my life in spanish or whatever language he's learning

then i'd be impressed it works yeah i bet i bet the parents were like yeah like we agree with you but only because you don't you can't speak this language exactly exactly like say it in spanish and then you're going back next summer nope okay um so tragic that he came back with a changed personality what's that's so dramatic that episode where the guy was stuck in like a time loop where he thought where it felt like forever eternity one hour and it was like an hour a thousand years or something crazy so like to be fair i probably would have had a psychotic break as well if i were this child and i did look this up i looked up the

german youth immersion program that's the one their typical day is very scheduled and keep in mind this was like 1998 or something that i was gonna go you wake up at 7 15 kitchen duty is 7 45 literally already done i probably read that and screamed my head off the morning circle and breakfast is at 8 prep time slash cleanup is at 9 9 15 is song time forget it 10 a.m is first small language group fuck then 10 45 is first break period for 30 minutes. Then an activity period. Then kitchen duty. Then midday meal.

Then cleaning up. Why is there so much cleaning and kitchen duty? I don't work for you. That's important. And then you get mail call at 530 for 15 minutes. You get your mail. And then you get another activity period. What does that mean?

Wait, what if you don't get any mail? That's so sad. I can't imagine you're going to be getting mail every day. you wouldn't have sent me mail no way absolutely not um you probably would have sent me mail being like i'm having so much fun sleeping till noon every day i hope you're having a good time at song hour oh i went to computer camp i did my camp i learned kind of pissed out a window i did and ate twizzlers all day yeah forget it oh and those peanut butter bar they're like i don't know i we were freaking we would drink wired bread bowls yeah and eat these like peanut butter bars and play cards we'd be like shaking i'd be shaking

the whole time because i'd be so like amped up honestly maybe more dangerous than actually drinking beer like most rebellious teens it was an interesting time it was lots of fun though anyway uh i have a review here of camp anderson which is located where the hell is this oh in uh florida in mariana florida lovely lovely looking place here's the three-star review uh this is by helen they will baptize your children without permission if it is important to you that your children be baptized at your home church you should let them know that up front end of hold the fucking phone okay first of all this review turned me around in ways i didn't expect because yeah like first off they i mean okay wow i'm so flummoxed so they baptize a child their parents upset of course if it's important to you i was

thinking that they don't just baptize your child without consent no no no no that's not what's they can be baptized all day long i just want it on my turf not yours wow what a roller coaster ride that was isn't that why that's why i emphasize three stars here oh true this this person's child was baptized without permission. I was like, oh, three stars. This is the one time where I'm like, one star seems appropriate. Honestly, that's alarming. I mean, a lot of these camps are religious in nature. It's not very clear up front for me reading it.

Oh, I see. But I assume if you're sending your child there, you know that. It's not just, I mean, to me that was so jarring like they baptized your child without like because me thinking summer camp i'm thinking like making lanyards not like i mean it's like woodland altars i didn't know it was religious no it's not altars christina i don't think it's altars is it spelled like that yes yes whoa exactly it's like altered state where you're like wait a second it's wait oh my god wait wait you didn't know that didn't we talk about that in this no i really don't because i don't woodland alters a-l-t-a-r-s i didn't know that it wasn't until i was older that i was like Oh we went to a which makes sense because we went to

Catholic school sure but like what did we do Because like I remember that rainbow just Took all the kids to learn about mushrooms I'm sure we prayed and stuff before meals And did some things like that oh wait No they had us at the river and they put all our Heads in and said yeah what was that about That was so weird and mom got so mad

And she said I wanted this in my Turf I wanted you I wanted the Lord's blessings only where I'm- In our backyard. Only in your backyard. In our kiddie pool. In our kiddie pool. That's too bad. Wow, you just blew my mind once again.

Yeah. I'm having a lot of uncomfortable memories about, you know, just being in Catholic school. So let's move on okay grace sent me i think um speaking of pretenders to the throne i think grace sent me led me to a pretender of the throne uh i see i don't know how to use this phrase in sentences so i'm just gonna stop saying it but i think it's challenging or it's at least rising to the ranks of Common Sense Media, CruiseCritic.com. Wow.

Yeah. I don't know if you've stumbled upon this, but it's called Camp Ratings with a Z. Oh. With a Z. With a Z. No wonder. I typed it with an S. Well then. I'm so lame.

What is the matter with you? I gotta be cool. Type in Camp Ratings with a Z and just look at the website. Right now? Yeah. I just want you to like see the vibe. Is it just Camp? Okay, I'll just, I'll find it.

CampRatings.com. Yep. It's, yeah, it's just like, I mean. So many ads. Oh, it's a lot of ads. Did I not, do I not have an ad blocker? Oh, I. I'm just finding that out because this is.

I think it finds the way around it. I don't. Jesus. Yeah. out because i think it finds the way around it i don't yeah uh and i also want to add that um it's designated the there's a smiley face for happy frown face for sad and then kind of in between for like meh okay um and so this is a review of a day camp where grace who sent this in actually worked as a high schooler so you can search through this website for everything from like Christian camps or religious camps to like adult camps to like sports.

And there was even like weight loss camp, which is a territory I did not want to try to do for obvious reasons. There were computer camps were on there. It was like you could designate, you know, filter it. There were computer camps were on there. It was like you could designate, you know, filter it. So this is one of a day camp where Grace used to work. This is a negative review.

I went there when I was five or six. The food was terrible. The staff let me wander off and I was lost for three hours. And the quality of the activities were terrible. Computers was an activity. I can play on the computer at my house. End of review. Fair.

That's all I'd want to do in the summer. Honestly, I was going to say, if they let me sit in the air conditioning and play on a computer, I'd be like, this is my kind of camp. That's their way of getting the kids to shut up so they can get work done or eat. They just throw them in front of a computer grace i didn't say anything about you i'm not saying it's a bad thing i'm saying it's a pretty good to be fair the other camp has you doing kitchen duty and cleanup duty exactly yeah so they're just putting you to work yeah here they're like play organ trail for a few hours unless you're this child who is in the woods true i love how it's like they let me. As if you asked, hey, can I wander around for three hours?

But to be fair, they were five. Like, that's not good. They let me wander off. Yeah. I don't think they let you. I think you found a way to do that. You gotta keep an eye on the little ones. I don't disagree.

I don't think five-year-olds should be wandering the woods alone for three hours that's so scary just sit at the computer i don't trust a five-year-old or someone the memory of when they were five years old to be too accurate oh my god it's like that black mirror thing all over again oh no they walked out back for two minutes and you know felt like an eternity. Yeah. So computers seems like a fun activity to me. That sounds great to me. And to you.

But you did go to computer camp. True. So I feel like that's a little biased. We did play games. I remember it was at the University of Michigan. Right. And they had a gaming room, like a gaming. I don't know what they called it, but they had all sorts of old video games, current

video games. And they had a computer. And I remember it current video games, and they had a computer. And I remember it was when Crisis, the game Crisis, came out. And I remember Crisis was such a big deal because the graphics were really good, but we needed a really powerful computer to play it, which I didn't have at the time. And they had a computer playing it. So we took turns playing Crisis, and it was mind-blowing. And I still remember that very vividly it was so much fun did you like learn anything at this camp that was they only gave

us like an hour in the whole the whole time we were there we only got like an hour at this in this room oh that's it was like a trip that they were like fine we'll go and they brought us there for a little bit and then took us out we're like okay you're done here yeah we most of it was classes like we took programming and 3d modeling classes which were cool whoa yeah so no yeah i did learn a few things and then forgot it very quickly i'm sure it's in there somewhere i kind of hope not i'd like i'd like to make room for new things. Probably fried your brain with all those... True. ...talkies. I did not eat talkies.

Those did not exist in, I don't think, back then. In the U.S., I mean. Really? Well, Griffin McElroy just did an episode on Wonderful about talkies, and he talked about how they were introduced into the United States relatively recently. And they took off like wildfire oh did they know i don't know when that was but wow everyone we just had a crisis i almost lost this the following review god i mean i will go into this review listening as though it were just almost lost to me forever

i'm worried that people are gonna hear it and think wow i wish he didn't find it again i wish you had lost it because i will say there are parts of in here that are like upsetting and like i feel bad for this person the reviewer and it is a wild ride it is that's what i'll say there's a lot going on here okay okay so this is a review of pine tree camps uh at lynn university this is in uh boca raton florida boca boca you know boca boca de beppo boca de beppo boca de beppo so here we go this is a review by carolyn one star pine this is all caps by the way sorry i know i was about to yell talk about uh just to warn you not sibilance what is that word when you make a p sound into the microphone i don't know not not

good not what i wanted to do i'm sorry so first two paragraphs are caps and then it'll be holy shit pine tree camps is a disgrace and sally the woman in charge, should be ashamed of herself. My family has been a loyal family to this camp for nine summers, and my son was thrown out of camp for putting a water balloon in a child's bed. I understand that bullying has become a large problem in schools and with children these days, but when does a kid get to be a kid? It was camp fun. Nothing more. They made an example of my child and they were so wrong. I am a sick woman. My child has no father and we needed the camp's assistance this summer in a big way. And this is how they helped a family in need, a family that has been through nine summers with them. My son loved that place.

He needed that place. I needed that place. I needed time to get better. And now he is home. I cannot get the medical time I need all over a water balloon. And you know what Sally said to me? Well, maybe he'll be a better child because of this.

You are a sick woman. You need help and you have no right running a place with children. Bad things happen to bad people, not little boys having a good time sally you are disgraced and so is pine tree camps also they hired a counselor who barely speaks to the children he's from another country and all he does all day and night is stare out the window when the children ask him what he is doing his response is that he is admiring their beautiful country and continues gazing out the window. Camp is supposed to be fun.

Counselors are supposed to be fun. This place hires counselors that do not even like children. And how could I neglect to mention that a different counselor put his hands on one of the children? There are five boys who calling it a push, yet camp defends the counselor and says it was not. This place used to be a good place to send your child. It no longer is.

It is not safe. It is not fun. And they use innocent, good children to set examples for the rest of the campers. If you are smart, you will find another camp for your child. End of the video. What a fucking rollercoaster.

You're not kidding. What? Yeah. What do we thinkcoaster. You're not kidding. What? Yeah. What do we think? What do I think? Yeah. I think that we need to have some sort of national daycare system so kids can be taken care of. And we shouldn't expect parents to be able to afford daycare and whatnot, especially when they're dealing with things like this.

That I will say. Also, I will say, I have no idea what is up with this counselor or what the kid thinks all day and night. Like, it sounds like a ghost. I think it's a ghost. And the kid's like, oh, it must be from another country. No, it's just that accent from it's an in from like really old timey he's a spectral image from vaudeville era and he just stares out the window exactly when addressed he can only repeat the same line how beautiful this country i did find that quite like cute oh like like that

part like oh just admiring your beautiful country like oh i actually found it half cute half really alarming because it's in boca raton well he was from greenland uh so they failed to tell you he's never been in swampland before you know no um i just it is a little alarming because it's like oh what are you up to and if he's staring at the window you think you could at least just be like more engaged. I don't know. It's just alarming to me. Admiring your beauty. Like, okay, you've had time to do that.

Do that on your own time. Admire the swampland on your own time. Help me make this lanyard or at least baptize me or something. At least baptize me. I think that would have solved everything. Maybe that's what the kid wanted to do with that water balloon. Baptize. That's so thoughtful.

It was just holy water in there. Yeah. And I also think, I don't know, that prank, whatever. I don't condone any bullying or whatever. I don't know the exact details. It's like so hard out of context. Exactly. You know, it could be like, oh, two friends were just pulling pranks.

Or it could be like, oh, this one kid was being targeted and being bullied you know what i mean it could yeah oh god you made a face sorry like the vaudeville specter was among us and he is his name is juniper the cat just came out of the closet waltzed out and your eyes were like oh my god um no i it's hard to say like if if they threw the book at this kid on purpose, like, that's shitty. Like, I could see that totally being a thing where... Wait, what book? To throw a book... Sorry, like, as in the phrase, like, throwing the book at someone.

I don't know that phrase. It's where you, like, making them an example to discourage that behavior from other people. Sure. So that might be what happened. I don't know. I don't know how these it's also very hard in context because like with with the context because it's like of course yeah if there's bullying you know send the kid home but then it's like well then you add all the like oh they really needed the assistance and they've been going there for nine years nine years really

like turned my mind a little bit i was like well they should you know but then you never know maybe the child has just been trouble for you don't know like maybe they've had problems before like i'm not saying the tribute is wrong or like lying i'm just saying it's hard to know out of context what the full story almost didn't include it because at first i was like oh like haha water balloon this sounds like weird let's we're gonna be able to talk about what this could be about and then it got really like sad and it wasn't good and then that paragraph with the counselor staring out the window brought me right back in i thought i can't not bring this to the table what is happening also have to think about this counselor it's like he's if he is really from another country like it's probably he's probably like young right like as a camp counselor

i would assume no idea but like also that's probably a hard position to be in not you know if this is near first language and you don't know what like throwing the book at someone even means i'm sorry that's just an example but you know i so and then maybe the kid just said that while complaining and like also like i don't think that has anything to do with the punishment like i don't think that guy is punishing anyone no no no i know okay but like maybe like that complaint was taken out of context from the child and it's like he just said that one time and now it's like it's so weird that that's in here like it just seems so random oh boy oh boy is right uh that's tough and um i don't i think this is one of those where we really just don't know where to fall.

And it's probably not even our place to decide. But wow, what a rough time. Well, the good news is maybe he'll be a better kid now. Oh, yeah. Let's hope Sally's right. Jeez. Okay, well, so now I have, you know, our friend Laniece. Of course.

Yeah, of course. Sent in a review. this is of a camp this is of camp olympia and uh this is in trinity texas and this is a one star review by rita yeah i remember hearing about this. It was a long time ago when I was in fifth grade. I'm in high school now, but to this day, I remember it. Anyways, I remember I was going to go on the field trip to here and there was a teacher, we'll call her Kate. Kate, for some reason, didn't like me. I had some trouble learning, but I learned at my own pace. We had all our papers signed for the field trip and Kate pointed me out and said I was the only one that couldn't go. This broke my heart because I was just a kid at that time. Some other kids stayed

back, but their parents didn't want them to go. My friend knew what happened and he said that it was messed up. I don't want any sort of compensation or anything like that. I just wanted to get something off my shoulders after a very long time. If you made it this far, thank you for caring and God bless. Wait, so the camp rejected him? No. It's Kate. The teacher.

Oh, the teacher wouldn't let this guy go this girl i think this person go this person to camp yeah so they were going on a field trip to this camp okay i'm so confused this is i was waiting for something to happen okay this child said. You know, I was waiting for actual, like, something. Not, oh, I couldn't go. Hey, friend, I couldn't go to the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio in eighth grade because I had testicular torsion. You don't see me complaining. Yeah, you don't see me leaving a negative review on the, actually, maybe I should. Maybe you should.

And you should start it by yeah i remember hearing about this place i still haven't been which i'm not i don't feel like i'm missing out no i mean i even i've been there i just also i like that like they're in high school now okay but they remember it like it was yesterday and they talk like an old person i'm sorry like i guess not a bad way literally talk like the vaudeville ghost like uh and i've also never heard a high schooler say god bless i know i'm saying i'm telling you and i went to a catholic high school to be fair this is in trinity texas i don't know if there's anything to do with it but also like i was just a kid. Okay. All right. But also, calling your teacher Kate is also-

That's why- Man, this is confusing. Probably why she didn't let you go on the field trip. She's like, I had some trouble learning, but we all learn at our own pace. I don't have any clue what happened. But the friend knows it's messed up. But the friend says, yo, that's messed up. No problem, IP.

I don't know. I just like that it's pretty clear the friend says yo that's messed up no problem might be i don't know i just like i just like that it's pretty clear that they don't want compensation but by saying that it really does sound like they want compensation but also what form of compensation could they possibly get i don't know but i really have pictured this entire review being written in the computer lab on like study hall break like like oh i just wanted to get something off my shoulders like they just took the time to really um you know write out their experience i hope it helped i do too i hope you can move on from this it doesn't seem like the camp atrocity like i said i don't use that word too often don't use it lightly but in this case it's definitely warranted but yeah i mean uh i like, you know, as a high schooler now, maybe you could just go and redeem yourself.

You know, redeem it for yourself. Take a trip. Yeah. A day trip with your friend. And maybe tell them when you show up, hey, I wanted to go. You're really bad. But that bitch Kate stopped me. Okay.

And then maybe they'll give you a little something what do they get what would they give you i don't know pat on the back some sort of what do they do when you watch those like um things on tv and it's like mesothelioma like what's excuse me you know like mesothelioma of course yes i'm quite familiar okay what's the compensation money yeah oh okay i assume they never clarified i mean i don't know honestly they've never told me i assume it's currency but okay well anyway maybe they just give you that fake money like that german camp buy some bratwurst my next one is a one-star review of uh woodland altars no of course are you fucking around no so you knew this whole time we were going to discuss this again of course it's

like outside people's ohio yikes that's where the uh serpent mound is you know very irritating to me because I love Serpent Mound. Yeah. Just the most, it's just a very beautiful, sacred place. And it irritates me that we had to go to some dumb, like, Christian wilderness baloney. We went to both. We saw Serpent Mound, I think, on the way. You know, there was some controversy. So this is me turning the conversation. No, you're like i think i remember i feel like we did but i remember there

was some controversy i remember being a brat and thinking it's so boring so oh gosh i think that's something that i definitely should be going back to yeah we should go back yeah maybe it's very cool is it one of the many uh native sites that are run by no so but that was the controversy but it's been taken back by yeah by by people who like actually have the the real history and the people who were running it back that day they had like reenactments and stuff and it was run by white people and you know it became kind of obviously uh sticky situation it was so sticky there so thankfully um you know it's been it's been taken back yeah i'm pretty sure don't quote me on that i'm pretty sure um here's a one-star review of uh woodland altars uh this is by larry

alexander the names you come up with. Sally. I almost accidentally said Lerold, which. That's even better. Sally. I don't have anyone doubting that these are fake names. What do you want me to say? I don't know.

I can say Linnise. Say Linnise. Okay. This is by Linnise One Star. How could you? Linnise. Went to camp. Everyone's like, Larry, Laniece? Who knows?

Went to camp here in 1997 or 1998. I'm still slightly bothered that they gave me a strike because I mixed my chicken with my mashed potatoes, which ended up starting a chain of events that forever changed my life end of review it's not the end i was buckling in christina i'm devastated i'm devastated no other reviews that's it i know you're i know you're vegan but think about this talk to me back when you did eat chicken think about the concept of mixing up chicken and mashed potatoes. That's pretty gross. I would put mashed potatoes with anything.

It doesn't sound gross, but if you think about actually swishing them together, mixing them together, that sounds gross. In a blender? Yes. No, like on your plate. No, it doesn't. I mix mashed potatoes. Whenever I have mashed potatoes in a meal, I have bites of mashed potato with whatever else. Yes, a bite of it, but like twirling it together.

Sure, that works too. No. Yeah, twirling like what? Spaghetti and mashed potatoes? No, but those wouldn't be. No, just whisking it. I don't think this person is whisking. Laniece, tell us, were you whisking?

Laniece, explain yourself. But why? But why? I have so many questions. The fact that they gave you a strike, by the way, not surprised. That sounds like something that would have happened where it's like. Some bullshit rules. Some like dumb rule where you were like joshing around, making a little like raucous scene at your lunch table.

And they're like, how dare you? Yep. Detention. That sounds about right. You're too rowdy. Too loud and rowdy um okay this was sent in by izzy and uh izzy said just on the assumption so this was sent august 10th and said just on the assumption the summer camp theme is going to win i decided to look at a few in my area perfect good

call you know our listeners very well uh and then, the next hour of my evening disappeared in a blur and I woke up in a cold sweat. My desktop covered entirely by screenshots. Tread wisely. So anyway. Oh, dear. I picked two reviews from their email. This is a review of Bear Lake Bible Camp in Jones, Michigan.

Sounds lovely. And it's Bear B-A-I-R. Oh, sounds less lovely sounds less lovely one star by grant i don't know what to think about this okay i'll tell you what you should think okay thank you that's all i ask of you and this is there's also a response from owner grant gave it one star there is only six holes in putt-putt it It rained a lot. The showers are smelly. The Santa's volleyball was not good. The gas leaks knocked too many people out. I got bit by a turtle.

Frown face. End of review. What? So, what would you like me to comment on? Okay, here's my question. Is this real or is this a joke review? Because so much of it seems like a real review and then all of a sudden it takes a turn and it feels like they're kidding i feel like they're kidding be just based on

that part alone if the gas leak thing wouldn't be there i just think this is just a weird okay but so here's the response from owner because they said it knocked too many people out right yes not not the perfect amount too many it went beyond the perfect amount of knocked out people which makes me think this isn't real but i want to hear the response for sure okay the response says good news grant we will be building a new mini golf course for next summer that's amazing i hope that you will come back to check it out. Sorry you got bit. End of response.

And that means they read the beginning and the end. The whole thing. Because those were two beginning and end. The bookends. And I was like, okay, the new mini got, so they weren't, so the putt-putt, clearly they were like, yes, you are correct. We only had six holes in our putt-putt course. Yeah. That part was real. Good, because that they're fixing

that good yeah that's a that's fair point isn't that strange like it's such a specific isn't that how you're supposed to lie yes but like since when do these people by these people i mean silly teens making up fake reviews like since when are they like in like making it a very maybe as an inside joke from from it could be among the and i will say they have like a real photo and like multiple reviews so i feel like are they conscious in the photo are they oh i'm just asking that they do have a really weird bite on their face shaped like a little turtle beak no they look pretty much like a normal person um but yeah i just like that the response from owner like fully skipped the entire thing about the gas leak was like their lawyers said don't don't even

honestly their lawyers just said that not to address anything but they did want to brag about the golf course but hey you gotta let people know that the putt putt's coming back. You can't have this slander about the six hole putt putt. Man, six hole putt. That really bothers me, though. What's the point? You can get bit by a turtle all day long. That would be so disappointing if you're on hole six and then you go to hole seven and there is no hole seven. Can you imagine?

Jesus. I'd rather be knocked out by gas. Uh-oh. I have just the place for you good they didn't fix the gas leak but they did get a new pup course important stuff so anyway that's why i was confused that's all that is that is confusing fair fair fair confusion um my next one is of crassies was a wagon was a was a wagon camp and retreat what i'm gonna spell of Crazzy's Wasawagon Camp and Retreat. What? I'm gonna spell all of this for you. Don't worry.

C-R-A-Z-Z-Y apostrophe S Crazzy's. Okay. W-A-S-E-W-A-G-A-N W-A-S-E-W-A-G-A-N W-A-S-E-W-A-G-A-N Camp and Retreat. Alright. Crazzy's Wasawagon. Crazzy's Wasawagan. Okay. Camp and retreat. All right. Krazy's Wasawagan. Krazy's Wasawagan.

I'm sorry, everybody, if that's so wrong. This is actually near Big Bear in California, in Angeles Oaks, California. Is the Wasawagan part a Native American name? I tried searching Wasawagan, and it came up with Krazy's Wasawagan. The Krazy part is what gets me. It might be a, I don't know. Because, you know, a lot of these camps take the Native American names. No, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I saw that so often. But for this one, when you search Wasawagan. Krazy's got the foothold on the Wasawagan. Like, it seems like Wasawag is not a thing without crazy before it i see whatever that means to watch us be saying it we just said it 65 times watch it be like completely a different pronunciation and somebody i'm sure it is out there's pulling their hair out oh yeah probably crazy themselves crazy okay so here is my review not mine uh this is a review

by uh go for it i didn't mean to i'm i'm in my head now i know i put you on the spot i'm sorry uh kiana okay that's pretty good that's a normal name thank you larry i'm sorry you've done sally larry they're just very like uh i know i'm sorry no it's okay i'll let you just be here's a one star review uh this is actually an updated review i'm not reading the other one uh they went from two stars down to one star a week later wait you are reading the updated one i'm i'm reading the update not the original. Okay. But the original was already two stars, and then the update a week later brought it down to one star. I love when they drop the star. So here's the update. My son told me that the counselors in his cabin left them unsupervised one evening and went out to their car.

I guess some of the boys went out to find them and discovered them smoking in their car with the windows all rolled up. My son said they came back in with red eyes the counselors threatened the boys saying that if they tell on them they would also tell on them for the fight that broke out the first day my son said the counselor said what happens in the cabin stays in the cabin and were sworn to secrecy okay so leaving kids unsupervised to smoke pot is a huge red flag no yeah you don't say i feel like red flag maybe isn't the word i think maybe just like illicit illegal activity listen to this though okay pot's legal we don't care about that but not at sleepaway camp i mean that is a very reasonable way to look at it right that's how i felt honestly for the first time because i was expecting it to go way off there to be fair if this happened to my child i'd be pissed okay like anyone supervising children should not be

off smoking pot and then threatening the children you know what i mean like obviously i would need to smoke pot to supervise these children but guess what that's why i would never be a supervisor dear lord well i know who not to call for babysitting services i guess yeah no don't okay but seriously okay but seriously folks we're gonna be serious here seriously folks uh i love that they were sworn to secrecy except like they absolutely weren't because his child immediately she's like they were sworn to secrecy obviously not which i love that the kid is like mom they were smoking pot and she's like so and he's like but they left us alone in the cabin and she's like well that seems like a pretty red flag that's pretty that's shitty

don't don't it's very bad like if anything bad happens yeah that's on you you know what i mean it's not what happens in the cab are you serious right now it's so creepy was that wazzy wazzy woo wazzy woo what's the name it sure was camp wasawagan crassie crassie's wasawagan what's wrong with me um i like i'm on their website first of all this is the best website for a camp that i found yet because i looked at other websites and they were so bad hang on this one's kind of fun is this a computer camp because that would explain it they're learning html it is not and java so okay here we go cra krazy craig johnson is the founder krazy craig johnson wow i wonder if he goes i haven't seen any uh maybe it's even pronounced crazy i was gonna say it's probably

crazy but i'm gonna say krazy every time it's spelled crazy um wait they do weddings here yeah they do a lot and they have like filming you can film there because it's like close to la and stuff and they they have a lot it says wasawagan was originally established in the 1930s whoa but i so far i haven't found anything that is talking about how the hell the name wasawagan came around i'm i'm i'm blown away i feel like someone's gonna tell us but hopefully someone can can answer this for us my gosh they sell dog tags and patches and t-shirts do you know what the camp's slogan is i was about to say i forget only because i probably read it no what oh a little bit of heaven what happens in the cabin no i'm just kidding what happens in heaven stays in heaven their slogan is quote on the t-shirt

quote minutes from big bear oh nice yeah uh yeah that's one way to i guess promo your camp um anyway that's very interesting thank you that was my last review so i'm glad uh you found it so interesting i sure did i'm looking at the summer packing list, just in case. I was just looking at their map. This is weirdly fun. You and I get into these fixations. Their map has an asterisk that says, map not even remotely to scale. I love the honesty there. I'm looking at the Comic Sans camp summer sans camp summer packing list and number two is very sweet it says writing paper envelope and stamps we encourage kids to write home oh that's so nice

okay let me put a new review on the table this is also from izzy this is a review of girl scouts camp tapawingo in Metamora, Illinois. And this is a one-star review by Christy. And I'm going to read it the way it's written. Uh-oh. You know that's going to be good. That was just a warning. I hate the Camp Connaclore we had. Okay, counselor. Yeah, but it's all one word, Camp Coniclor we had. Okay, counselor. Yeah, but it's all one word. Camp Coniclor.

Camp Coniclor. Which honestly sounds more normal than Krazy's... Wazawagan? Yeah, whatever the hell. I hate the Camp Coniclor we had in Nickel and Questions. That's in quotes. Nickel and Questions. I don't know what it means.

Nickel and Questions. and questions that's in quotes nickel and questions i don't know what it means nickel and questions they were very rude and made me scared to leave my parents side have really bad fear of storms and made me have an ulcer and i was starved i left my camera on the ground and they wouldn't let me go get it the next day it was ruined because there was a tornado then they took us to the woods again the next night and there was another tornado keep in mind i do not eat a lot and there was not enough food to keep me full the hot dogs are cold and wet this is coming from a 60 pounder oh my goodness the counselors yelled at me because i asked the other counselor this is the third spelling counselor this one they hit it right on the mark oh good counselor is now correct the counselors yelled at me because i asked the other counselor if she could walk with me to get my camera i left this blanket there and emailed them and called them

and everything they didn't care which i get but they didn't answer is what made me mad this blanket meant a lot to me and now it's gone so i will never attend this horrible place again it caused me to have really bad anxiety and i've heard other bad stories my mom also sent emails complaining and no one responded end of review wow lord if i if i had access what is this yelp uh this one's google if i were writing reviews when i was younger i would have written some interesting stuff. That's why when that one review was read by me, I don't know why I said it like that. One review I read, I pictured them in the computer lab because for whatever reason, every time I read a high schooler writing a review like that, I'm like, oh, man, I can picture me in the computer lab. Because it doesn't occur to me that, oh, wait, now they can just go on their phone and write it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like my access to the internet, I like was limited back then we would go in the computer lab onto uh yahoo answer yes exactly and like just make fun of all the yeah but yeah r.i.p by the way our yeah right our uh i feel like our computer time mostly we're just trying to figure out games to play that still worked. Yes. On the network.

Slime volleyball. Slime volleyball was classic. So I still sometimes play that. Sometimes when I'm on an anxious phone call and by anxious phone call, I mean, when I'm anxious on a phone call, I play slime volleyball. That's a good idea. Yeah. It doesn't help because I'm not very good at it. But anyway, so that is that they caused me to have an ulcer

they also caused multiple tornadoes so i wouldn't be surprised if they have the power to cause ulcers hang on hold on two tornadoes hold on you left your camera out in the wood on the ground outside and there was a tornado and the the next day it was still there. It's not a very strong tornado. And you're upset your blanket's gone? I mean, hey, I think the tornado took it. Also, that blanket couldn't have meant very much to you if you left it behind. Just saying.

Uh-oh. I don't know about that. I know. I've left some very important things behind. Honestly. You lost your health insurance card and your social security card the same night in the same restaurant those aren't really that i was going to use the example that dad once left you behind yeah true i was left behind um yeah yeah you're right i don't have room to judge i I know. I know. Okay. Time for my challenge?

Let's do it. Okay. My challenge was to find reviews where someone is allergic to shellfish and yet went to a seafood restaurant. Everyone allergic to shellfish apparently goes to the seafood restaurant. Okay. I just want to be clear. They want an excuse to be able to say it. They want to write about it i

have no idea but i also know i guarantee there are some people listening who are like hey i have a shellfish allergy i could go to seafood restaurants it's true because a lot of places are extremely accommodating and like you just say i have a shellfish allergy and they're like okay no worries like we'll just get you a grilled salmon or like you can eat other seafood that's not shellfish okay and um I've been to what was that charter house the fish restaurant as a vegan and they were able to accommodate me oh was that up here in Newport yeah yeah yeah I remember they were like over like overly we like told them before we even like sat down for dinner and they were like oh we'll have the chef come out no the chef came out and talked to me and he's like my

wife has been vegan for nine years yeah we was i asked if his wife was because i was single at the time right wife single and he said what did he say again he said not yet he said but i keep was really ominous but But he did. And he said, I keep working at this seafood slash steak restaurant. So I think maybe she will be single any day now. What a cool. She hasn't called me. She hasn't?

No, I passed my number on to him. She's too late anyway. Too late. Too late. Okay. So this is what I wanted to say that, that yes a lot of restaurants are extremely accommodating you can eat a seafood restaurant if you're allergic to shellfish i'm not trying to make fun of people with allergies because i know it's a very serious thing like i don't know i just felt like i wanted to put a caveat or like a disclaimer that i'm not just like haha people are allergic to clams that's not is that a shellfish that's not why i'm laughing

that's a shell what a ridiculous are people gonna get mad at you for reading reviews with allergies in them well i feel like maybe i feel like people get mad when i read when people read stuff and they're like hey that's a serious thing like don't make fun of people who are concerned about their allergy you know what i mean like i'm not trying to mock people with allergies why are you laughing i don't know i think that's on them they're projecting if they think you're trying to mock people with allergies for reading reviews that they left when they have a shellfish allergy going to a seafood restaurant okay i don't know what these reviews are gonna say but i can't imagine a case where this warning is necessary well i hope i hope i do justice and i hope you're not mad at me everybody okay

so this is from a yelp forum this first one and i'm gonna wait to tell you the name of the restaurant until i read the response uh one of wait to tell you the name of the restaurant until i read the response one of the responses which includes the name of the restaurant just just for a little like anticipation okay so the forum uh says or the post says i waited in line 45 minutes to order sunfish they were out and no sign i'm allergic allergic to shellfish? With three question marks. Here's a response from Effie. Sounds like they just found out. Yeah, question mark, question mark.

So this is a response from Effie. So you're telling me that you're allergic to shellfish, wanted to eat fish, and you went to Romi's Kahuku Prawns and Shrimps? Seems like a very smart decision. The audacity that they don't have fish. A prawn and shrimp place must have fish. What are they thinking? End of review. Or end of response.

No. Prawns and Shrimps is probably the funniest name of a restaurant for someone to go to with a shellfish allergy. I'm sorry. And I will say some places were, some were some people were angry because like places did not accommodate for that and to be fair like i kind of do understand if you're a seafood restaurant you're like we don't want to risk that liability you know what i mean like we don't want to be in that it's like if i were to write a negative review of a steakhouse which i could do just by being vegan for certain reasons, but like because they won't accommodate me. That's ridiculous. It just seems a little bit.

That's the only option you have. And if you're going out to this kind of place. Especially though when it's like a medical thing, like I could die. That's very serious. It is serious. You're right. But like, why are you? If you're like, I could die.

So I would like you to cook this on a make sure you clean your grill. And they're like, don't fucking put that on us. Like where you don't want to be liable for that, which I understand. So this one is. I like this one because of the manager's response to the situation. Not necessarily because, again, not because the algae, but because uh again not because the allergy but because of the way that this and it doesn't have an owner response to to be clear it's just the way that she describes like oh we contacted them okay so this is of hana japanese sushi and steakhouse

in albany new york and this is a one-star review by h. We ordered two kids steak hibachi meals. We put shellfish allergy on the order for both meals because I'm allergic to shellfish to the touch. I could die. We got home, opened the bag, and there were shrimp in a small container that busted open. And the shrimp and sauce spilled all over everything. We called and asked for a manager. Girl says, um, I am. I said, I don't think so.

She said, well, he's not here. So I hung up. The real manager called back. We explained the issue. Manager said his receipt didn't show a shellfish allergy. I attached the receipt. Then he said his kitchen wasn't sure if someone in our party wanted shrimp. So they added it.

But don't worry, it wasn't with the food. I tried to explain that I could die from touching it. His response was, OMG, you're so funny. His response was, OMG, you're so funny. At no point was I laughing. I have a rash now from touching the mess inside the bag. I tried several times to explain what an allergy means, but he continued to say it wasn't in the food. will be calling the health department on monday if you have an allergy to shellfish don't go here we will never eat here again the fact that this guy thought my allergy that can kill me was a joke is far beyond words at this point worst manager ever end of review my god and there's a picture of the receipt that says shellfish well i mean the

manager basically agreed that they was like oh oh, OK, well, yeah, someone thought you might want it. Like, that makes no sense. It's ridiculous. It's not a cute look. No. Anyway, so I was so flabbergasted. Funny for the wrong reasons. Yeah.

I want to talk to the manager. I'm the manager. I don't think so. Well, he's not here. When I heard that, I don't think so. Well, he's not here. When I heard that, I don't think so, I rolled my eyes thinking, oh my gosh. I know. And then sure enough, they were right. Oh my God.

Okay, so I think this is my last one. This is a review of Junior's Fish Market in Lake Wales, Florida. And this is a redemption. Because I read a lot of just- Yeah, I bet there's some shitty ones out there. Just bummer ones. Yeah, that one just... That's terrible.

The only reason I found it funny was because he said, OMG. Yeah. OMG, you're so funny with you and your little hyperbole. And she's like, I am spreading out in hives. Yeah. Hilarious. I mean, I'd be upset if there was a... A meatball.

A packet of meatballs... Exploded. ...alongside my things that exploded all over things. And they said, I thought you might want meatballs. I packet of meatballs. Exploded. Alongside my things that exploded all over things. And they said, I thought you might want me, please. I'm not allergic. Yeah. Jesus. Anyway, okay.

Here's a redemption. I can't believe you made fun of that woman. I know. This is why I got so. I'm just kidding. I didn't want to be that guy, you know. So this is of Junior's Fish Market in Lake Wales, Florida. This is a five-star review by Gabriel.

We came across this place without Yelp help and ended up happy. The place is run by a family. They are in charge of the whole experience. I'm allergic to shellfish, so we told them to prepare the fish in a separate place, but the owner said, My wife is allergic and never had a problem the way we do it. I rolled the dice and went with deep fried mahi-mahi. Delicious!

My girlfriend ordered the salmon, which was excellent as well. Like one friend once said, if it's not fried, it ain't food. And I'm with you. Yeah. That's very clever? Question mark, question mark, question mark. That's the most American thing I've ever heard. If it's not fried, it ain't food.

A good friend of mine once said i imagine they sell those signs at most a sign that says that at most county fairs county fair this country yes exactly so um and also it's like she ordered the grilled salmon and i'm like well that's not fried salmon is that a thing ew why does that sound gross it sounds gross to me for multiple reasons i know but like most fried foods it's like okay i get it but that would be kind of yeah i don't know why i don't know it doesn't work um so you know the the owner's like my wife likes it just fine it's like she's never really gone to the er with my food it's like, my wife likes it just fine. It's like, she's never really gone to the ER with my food. It's like, okay. I assume this allergy is not the same type as the one in the review before.

Oh, I sure hope not. Yeah. You know, my ex-boyfriend's stepmother had a shellfish allergy. And she didn't develop it until she was, I think, almost 40. That's scary. And I think that happens a lot. Yeah. And she was just out to dinner at, like, McC think that happens a lot yeah um and she was just

out to dinner at like mccormick and schmicks or one of these like kind of steakhouse places and ordered i don't know what shellfish are 50 clam she ordered 50 she ordered the 50 clam volcano special and they what's a clam volcano or is it volcano special or clam volcano special honestly oxen her it's really tragic to me because when you became vegan i was like oh okay i understand but then when i remembered you'll never be able to experience the clam volcano special it just makes me shed a tear so sad um but But she ordered a shellfish dish and like got like broke out in hives, like throats hold up and had eaten shellfish her whole life. Clam volcano that week earlier.

So many clam volcanoes. Her body was like, no more clam volcanoes. We've been trying to tell you, we developed IBS just to stop you from this, but it wasn't enough. That's so scary. Now, if I eat like peaches. Yeah. My throat gets all scratchy. Yeah, it is.

Seriously? And my mouth gets like, my tongue gets a little swollen. It's not like bad. And it also depends on how much I eat. Peaches? Pe's just a lot of fruits now i think what happened was i too much i don't know the opposite i think when i was living in la alone yeah i like wasn't buying enough fruit for myself at least a variety i would only buy apples bananas grapes yeah but like that's pretty normal and then like i came home and moved back home and

mom like would buy different fruits and i'd eat and i hadn't i love fruit so i'd eat like a whole giant bowl of these peaches oh well that's and then i thought i was gonna die yeah probably because you're eating like four peaches yeah geez so anyway yeah mango i think does that to me though oh mango yeah renee texted me the other day and was like oh man once my mom fed uh like her granddaughter uh like uh renee's niece strawberries without like testing for an allergy first and i was like i literally fed leona strawberries this morning am i supposed to be doing that like i know i was like what i don't know um oops yeah i still i still eat them so oh god not in that big of a quantity but yeah yeah the thing with shellfish is freaky because i guess it comes in different like levels obviously um okay let's see

it includes shrimp crayfish crab and lobster oh a clam is a mollusk i'll go after all that a clam volcano is safe people are freaking out should i call her you can tell her to get the clam volcano her name was sherry too there's a lot of sherry's in my life i'm gonna call sherry and tell her clam volcano is still on the menu boys having a clam volcano this weekend okay oh my gosh um so shrimp crayfish crab and lobster tough life that's it i guess that makes sense but oh wait no wait sorry i was wrong christina people are ripping their hair out both ways either now yeah because you're wrong now because you're wrong earlier i would like to quickly, before we can put this in the front of the episode, I would like to let everyone know I am not liable for any clam volcanoes that have caused any sort of allergic reaction,

tongue swelling, ER visits, not liable, not paying the medical bills, because this Healthline article that I did not read says, not paying the medical bills because um this health line article that i did not read says shellfish are animals by the way it says as the name suggests okay thanks shellfish are animals that dwell in water and have a shell or shell like exterior that can be divided into two groups crustaceans and mollusks okay so crustaceans crustaceans include shrimp crayfish, crab, and lobster while clams, scallops, oysters, and mussels are so you can't eat those either I was gonna say that seemed like a very short list

clam volcanoes are off I was right they have shells so they're shellfish good job thank you my goodness you should be a scientist thank you I should be a biologist yeah you should you should be the one who's uh categorizing sea creatures

oh god and then i'm like i'm categorizing sea creatures and i'm also like eating clam volcanoes on the weekends i'm like the world's worst biologist I hate it. Yeah, I'm not doing that, I promise. I'm like, I'm scallops. No one needed you to promise that you're not eating clam volcanoes every weekend. That's not a thing! Why do I keep saying it? Why do I keep saying it like it's a real dish?

I don't know. You're just trying to manifest it or something? I'm really nervous. Trying to inspire our audience. i'll be honest the last thing i want in this life is no it's not true i'd be lying if i said that was the last thing i wanted in this life but it's not one of the top 10 okay i have a request forever's inspired please make it vegan somehow make a vegan clam volcano thank you very much they can do it like with those like i buy those simulate chicken nuggets

which by the way like they're kind of weird because why would you call them simulate but they i went to the store today and they had dino nuggets yeah not the ones like the dino nugget in like the plant like the sim i don't know maybe i'm just very picky about my veggie nugs. But the Simulate ones, I just feel like are the best fake chicken nuggets out there. And you didn't make me any? I did make them for you when we watched the Super Bowl. Oh, those were good. No, they were not dino.

Oh, I don't care. I want the dino. I know, but this brand that I love, I think just came out because they only ever had the spicy ones and the regular ones. Today I went. Spicy nugs? Yeah, those ones I made you. Today I went and they had dino nugs. That's right.

They were really good. To be fair, I do eat them with sour cream because they're gross. I think that's gross even if I weren't vegan. I know. It is. Blaze is so disgusting. Okay. I know.

It's disgusting. That's enough out of I weren't vegan. I know. It is. Blaze is so disgusting. Okay. I know. It's disgusting. That's enough out of you. Yeah. Okay. I'll make you a dino nug volcano. I'll eat it. Okay. I'll eat it.

I can't wait. All right. So what do we do now? Say goodbye. Oh, our next episode, we already know, actually, because the poll was very skewed in its favor. 55 and over communities so like the retirement community or i don't know what you'd call them i feel like this is a because i feel like it's hard to say 56 as like seniors you know yeah exactly so i don't know

what to like call it but um yeah these kind of retirement communities even though no one can afford to retire at 55 anymore but you know communities like that where there's an age limit that that'll be our uh next theme okay i'm so excited and you're supposed to give me a challenge so do you have one do i look like i have one no let me get one that's why i laughed when i asked okay so i now have an uh challenge for you this is from kirsten or Kirsten. I'm not sure how to pronounce it. Who wrote, first of all, a very kind message from back when I was pregnant.

And then said, my challenge is find someone who mentions another person in their review without explaining who they are as if they're just telling a story to someone they know. For example, I didn't like the sushi and neither did Bob. I love these kinds of reviews. I feel like we had something similar, but not exactly the same. I was worried at first we did it already. I don't think we did. I don't think so either.

But even if we didn't, I'm a little worried it's hard to search for. No. You think you're good? Yes. Okay, excellent. My brain's already clunking. Clunking? It's not quick.

It doesn't like whir. It clunks. It clunks along. just pd's holding the gears back trying to pd's jamming the gears yeah it's too bad um so anyway thank you everybody for sending in your reviews thank you for sending in suggestions and if you have any about bobs who don't like sushi just send them on in otherwise check out our patreon patreon.com slash beach juice sandy come see us live there are only a few tickets left for chicago less than fewer than 20 tickets left as at the time of recording so crazy get on it can't wait to see

there and um we'll talk to you later bye you