Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 196: Reviews of Useless Wish Products

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

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Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd at it again, folks. It's been so long. We are here to talk to you about useless Wish.com items, everything you've ever wanted to know. Actually, just kidding. We're like barely scratching the surface, I imagine. Oh, I, yeah, I'm with you. I had to stop myself from continuing to scroll

because I was getting so just sucked into this crazy black hole that Wish.com is. I wasn't too familiar with it. I've. And now I'm too familiar with it. Now I'm far too familiar. I just know it from TikTok and people making memes like, oh, look what I got on Wish and reality versus the photo. Yeah.

Yeah. I've just seen those weird ads that always are purposefully bizarre to get your attention. So strange. So strange. Um, but I went straight on the site and found some pretty immediately found some, some weird stuff. Um, do you want me to go first for once here? Okay.

So the first item I found, this just came across my page as i was scrolling i don't know if you can see it it's a gold ring yeah yeah i'm not gonna read the whole because i have a review for a ring too you do yeah different one though okay so this one is uh called classic fashion men's crown lion badge shield ring 18 carat pure gold high-end noble handmade jewelry luxury gentleman print tail ring groom engagement blah blah how much okay so this is the game i've invented is that every product and then at the end i have a list of products i want you to guess how much they go for like six dollars one dollar this one was okay my ring is also one dollar there are so many one dollar items okay, my ring is also $1. There are so many $1 items. Okay.

For those who, like, okay, I honestly don't know what Wish is. I don't really either. So that's why I didn't jump in. That's part of the problem. It reminds me of Shein, like when we read Shein reviews. But like here, should we read it? Do you have anything? I have, I do have something.

Okay, yeah. Why don't you tell the folks? Wish is an American online e-commerce platform for transactions between sellers and buyers so they're not actually selling the items i don't think i knew that they have stores that have storefronts on wish okay selling shitty items i don't think i knew that which is similar to amazon like you know yeah yeah these are notoriously cheap notoriously inexpensive yeah um yeah you kind of have to know when you're buying something that like you might not like what you get does it allow sellers to list their

products on wish and sell directly to consumers um i do have a sentence about criticism oh okay couple sentences i'm sure there's quite a bit. Which has been criticized for listing poor quality or counterfeit goods, a common concern among major e-commerce sites which feature independent sellers. Customers have complained about lack of communication from sellers and quality. And in response, the founder hired an executive from Facebook to organize a community of about 10 000 wish users to expose unsatisfactory dealers in exchange for free goods and discounts so they created a team to find oh to like suss out which ones counterfeits oh and they get paid in free goods and discounts which oh my gosh and then it says it is often possible to purchase items from Wish that are not legal in the purchaser's country.

In January 2020, a man from Nelson, Lancashire, United Kingdom was sentenced to 11 months in prison for purchasing a stun gun using Wish. Oh my God. There is criticism of Wish. Oh my gosh. It is... Yeah. Folks, if you want a better idea also of just like

more uh at least more hands-on understanding i would google uh weirdest items on wish or stuff like that and you will get some lists like endless lists of just things that people people have either been advertised or have even bought. But I mean, it's hard to even pin down what Wish is because I mean, I'm just scrolling through here and it is just anything and everything. And I didn't read much on this or search about it. But from my gleaming, gleaning, gleaning, going through these reviews. There are so many fake ones. They have to be fake.

I'm no expert on that, but... A lot of the ones I found were actually legit. I didn't really see any fake ones. So many of these reviews seemed so fake to me. I mean... The five-star ones. Okay, I guess I didn't really read the five-star ones. Yeah, those were just very suspicious. I mean, I just kind of had to roll my eyes a lot because people leaving ones.

Well, okay. I mean, let's like get into exactly this because. Man. Okay. One good example that when you see the on TikTok or when you see the lists that say like people who ordered stuff from wish what they thought they were getting what they got like the one of my favorite examples is someone thought they were getting like airpods and then they open the box and it was like a two like a two foot tall

airpod statue what like they got like a gigantic airpod so they couldn't they couldn't be tall they were like they got what they purchased yeah they were probably misled to purchase the wrong thing in the photo it looks like small like an airpod right it's so strange so stuff like that happens a lot but anyway so here we're at this ring this is an 18 carat i mean please read through the lines here this is an 18 carat pure gold high end noble ring with a lion badge. And by the way, under the lion badge is the word sweet. So for one dollar. For one dollar.

And this is a one star review by Daniel. Details are terrible. Ring appears cheap. It's not actually gold either. End of review. What? You think you're gonna get this and be able to resell it for a dollar for a dollar i mean no no no no no no no no no how this works yeah it's simply not so i guess people are

learning the hard way you know i guess i just don't know how you can go into this expecting anything good like christina i'm sorry i just i just opened wish just for fun um there's literally like a create your own like toy gun oh my god all the pieces of a gun to put together on the front for like five dollars yeah there's some scary shit on here and what's interesting is underneath a lot of the products it says the number of people that have purchased it which makes you maybe more likely because you think okay five thousand people if i buy this maybe i'm an idiot but then there are 20 000 other idiots with me so i'm not alone in this um that

would work for me you know and some things are like free and i assume i just opened this like thing that says it's a sapphire diamond crystal ring for free yeah what i don't really understand i feel is shipping like 40 bucks actually for one i just saw, shipping is 97 cents. Oh. So the fact that people are making money off of this. I don't get it at all. I mean, someone used this as an engagement, like a wedding band, it says in the comments. That's the thing, is people use it for real life jewelry. And I'm like, it's not going to last you.

Some people are happy. I guess true. Especially if it's free, like shit. If they like it and they didn't have to spend so much money. Will you marry me? I got you this free wedding band. And then they were like, wow, what a great deal. Sure. Yeah, I guess so. So here we go. So I'm a little all over the place in a good way for you all, I think. And I want to start off with a game. It's just one game. Okay. But I thought this might be interesting. I'm going to read a two-star review, and then I'm going to give you three products that are all sold on Wish. And you have to guess what it's for. Okay. This is a two-star review by Harold.

No instructions. Don't know where to start. And a review. Okay. Oh, yeah. Pretty vague. But don't worry. I'll get you some specific products that are legitimately sold on Wish.com. Okay.

Okay. This first one is fashionable new men's power beginner vacuum pump penis extender stretcher enhancer enlarger. Oh, no. For $8. Oh, no. For $8. Oh, no. So a penis pump. $8 penis pump.

Okay. Next comes a vibrating penis sleeve for delay ejaculation, penis enlargement, sleeve, condoms, vibrators, sex toys for men for $6. Oh. Or we have a Paladin Equip equipment 1ACG432 number 12 professional electric meat grinder 1 horsepower 200

RPM for $423.99 oh my god so one of those three items has the following review no instructions don't know where to start oh no I don't want to know I'm going to say it's the first one.

Yeah. It is? It's the penis pump. Ding, ding, ding. No, don't know where to start. It's the penis pump for $8. Stick it in and probably just pump. I don't really know how it works either.

Alex Center, clearly there's no instructions. I'll let you know. Mine hasn't shipped yet. Alex Center, there's no instructions. Did you not read the reviews? Christina, I'm sorry but there are visuals though on when you buy it so yikes yeah uh okay wow anyway that was my fun game i loved it thank you um i actually have another review of this ring this is a one-star review by kelsey well for starters the picture of the

ring appears to be two distinct colors of gold, but when I received the ring, it was all gold. It was also a bit small for my husband's ring finger. Needless to say, it was not impressive like some of the other jewelry pieces that I've received in the past. Also, I never received that three-piece wedding slash engagement ring I ordered first. Oh, well, hopefully the quality and the style will be better in my upcoming selections. My goodness.

Hey. That is where I was like, wow, people are really buying like full sets of jewelry and like important jewelry. Yeah. Wedding rings, engagement rings. Yeah. She's like, hang on. That other set of engagement rings never showed up.

Oh, well. Hopefully it's great. I guess her expectations are low that's pretty good and also if if you have those low expectations i mean living on easy street you know that sounds pretty good can i just read the last review of this ring that i have the what this is the last review the ring just to get it out of the way so this uh these are actually two reviews back to back, an updated review and an original by Christian. Here's the first one. One star.

I don't like it. Here's the second one. One star. I don't like it at all. End of review. Okay, good to know. Yeah, so just apparently this isn't the highest quality situation. Did you like it?

Like at all, though? I didn't like it, but did you like it at at all though you know it's like i didn't like it but did you like it at all let me clarify no i didn't like it i'm not even gonna edit the review i'm just gonna leave a whole nother one a whole new one i love it um okay my next one is i'm gonna read the ring review now oh okay this is a review of classic Men's Gypsophila, which is baby's breath. I just Googled it. Oh. So I don't know why this has to do with baby's breath.

It probably doesn't. Classic Men's Square Big Diamond 925 Sterling Silver Party Ring Men's Jewelry Banquet Ring. Can I see it? It's just as gaudy as you expect. A large, gaudy-looking silver ring. Wow. Can we post these pictures on Instagram if you want go for it i have some good ones coming up perfect that deserve to be shared well here is what uh here's what billy has to say one star simply did not look anything like to the photo.

Obviously was intentionally sold to me in a deceptive manner. You must be laughing all the way to the bank. I hope you all die. End of review. Oh my God. All the way to the bank with how many dollars? One. Oh my God.

One whole dollar. Not my whole dollar. I worked so hard for that dollar. In 1922, my dad gave me one whole dollar to get through the Great Depression, and I bought this ring, and I've been swindled. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I'm shocked. Probably use more money and electricity fucking posting this review.

That's, okay. I don't know how electricity works. I don't either, but. You know what I mean. But think about it. It's like, I know some people might say, oh, well, you know, if you're not familiar with this website or with like these kinds of websites, but that aside, if someone is selling you something for a dollar, that's allegedly like 18 karat gold or any sensible common sense

adult should probably think to themselves, hmm, maybe I'm not going to get exactly what's being offered here. Because a lot of people are not very, I don't know, tech literate is the right way to put it. Right, right. But they're not used to this online shopping thing. And they are scammed for hundreds of dollars and thousands of dollars sometimes. When it comes to a $ dollar ring on wish.com because it's like in person if somebody said here's this beautiful gorgeous ring it's in it's here look at it isn't it beautiful it's only a dollar and it's filled with diamonds yeah you know nobody would fall for that either

yeah anyway so i feel like this is if, more harmful environmentally than it is in any other way. Nothing super good, I think, comes of this. All right. The next thing I have is something called Hip Hop Rock Iced Out Gun Pendant Necklace. That did not go where I expected. Wrapper Rope Chain Necklace Jewelry. Wow. This one is a beauty alexander let me turn the screen for you so you can really get it in its full glory i'd pay a whopping three dollars for that would you how much is it it's your lucky day you can buy

three of them because they are one dollar or all of your products one dollar is that the game no but it's it sounds like it is but it's not uh okay oxener i'm wrong you're right it was three dollars are you serious yeah i had marked it wrong and i i i remembered that because that's how much i spent on mine on your gun i got the one. Your blinged out gun necklace. Got it. I got ripped off. You did. They laughing all the way to the bank with your three whole dollars.

Okay. So three dollars. So you can only buy one. This is a one star review by Ryan. In the pictures, the diamonds are set and look nice. These are literally glued on and it turned my neck green.

End of review. Oh dear. I mean, it's not diamonds. I love how they're still insisting. The diamonds are all glued on. Oh, man. They put Gorilla Glue on my diamonds. No, they didn't.

No, they didn't. It's not real. I know. I know. It's just iced out with Swarovski crystal. Can you imagine? What if this is some Charlie and the Chocolate Factory type thing, and there's a golden ticket. One product on Olive Wish that is $1 actually has real diamonds.

You just have to find it. And also, you'll never know because they're all just glued on with hot glue. Here come the carrots making their way up field, followed by the whole wheat bread over to the two dozen eggs. Sir, do you do this every time? Sorry. I've been a little excited ever since I got this BMO Toronto FC cashback mastercard.

Oh, and the broccoli boots are over the line. What a goal! How would you like to pay, sir? Credit, please. Make every purchase a win with the BMO Toronto FC cashback mastercard with up to 5% cashback on your purchases in your first three months.

Terms and conditions apply. Alrighty. My next one is of Freddy Tween Costume Five Nights at Freddy's. What? Are you familiar with Five Nights at Freddy's? We will not go into it right now. What is it?

So just answer yes or no. Okay. That's enough. We don't need to discuss it. It's like a video game. It's familiar to me subculture of the internet now okay it's very uh it's like a jump scare type game okay yeah i've heard of it animatronics yeah but that's as far as my knowledge goes on purpose okay sometimes

i get tiktoks and i i'm like what the hell is this oh Oh, Five Nights at Freddy's lore or something. Anyway, just, I don't know much about it, but here's a costume of Freddy for tweens. Oh, sure. Do you want to guess how much it is? $13. $28. Whoa, that's pricey. Remember that meat grinder? I can't get over that.

I know. I know. I just cannot. could you imagine spending 430 dollars on wish.com on that and then if if if the reviews are bad of that understandable but there were no reviews i think of it so that's why you don't think they hog blew the diamonds onto that one right that one has to be actually set uh oh man. 18 karat meat grinder. Okay. Here's a one-star review

of a big spender spending $28 on this costume. This is by Matthew. Hope, wish, understand that these two Freddy deals a six-year can't wear them like I said. How she ordered them is unknown

but again I Matthew was in the hospital with a problem with COPD end of review oh no the six-year old got the credit card yeah oh no Matthew was not in fact spoiler well not spoiler uh twist clock twist Matthew was not the big spender Matthew was not the big spender. Matthew was not the big spender all along. The six-year can't... Six-year. Well, and with those COPD medical bills, like, hello, we can't afford to be spending $28 on a Wish costume. And I'm sure it was garbage. Yeah, and it didn't even fit the six-year-old?

What's the point? What is the point? Can you imagine that's what your six-year-old buys? I'd be just like, really? I mean, I guess it's better than a blinged-out gun. It could be worse. Well, at least the blinged-out gun is only $3. I know, that's the thing.

It's like, which one? Which one's worse? So yeah, rough times. Wow. Not a happy review, just a shitty situation. I love the dedication to write a review, though, despite the hospitalization, the accidental purchase. Hopefully they can get some help from wish some restitution yes please all right so this next one i have is called five pieces set fake soft thumb tip finger um what thumb tip finger

do you put a finger on your thumb i don't understand you put it's fake thumbs that you can wear over your thumbs why oh is this because don't they have those things for if you're in like certain jobs no you know you you have like a you put a cap on your fingers no but that's like a little like thimble like a rubber thimble, like a rubber thimble. Not like a fake thumb. Well, maybe it just makes it more interesting. Then what's the point of it? Okay, not that there's a point to most of this stuff.

There is a point. It's magic trick. Oh. Where you go like, ooh. Oh. Okay. That makes sense. Sorry.

I really like to live in the world where you just flip papers at the bank with them. Yeah. Alexander, how much do you think a set of five-piece soft thumbtip fingers costs? I hope 50 cents. Two dollars. Why? I don't know. Most people in the reviews were very upset because in the photo there's a red handkerchief that's being used for the magic trick.

in the photo there's a red handkerchief that's being used for the magic trick it's pretty obvious to me that it's not included because it doesn't say in the description but i understand why somebody would be uh bummed that they didn't get a red handkerchief with this trick they felt uh bamboozled they felt bamboozled um and i can understand. But this actually is a positive review. This is a five-star review of these thumbtip fingers. I can't wait to hear what this is. There's a photo. Eddie gave it five stars. Best looking thumbs I've seen in a long time.

And here's the freaking photo. It's just on his lap or like on his office chair it's creeping me out oops shit you send it to by accident oh my god can you imagine yes i could my mother-in-law you've been guilty of that before i certainly have oh dear god is that not horrific that's terrible it's like on his office chair maybe he does work at the bank and he's like finally thumbs that's so creepy when they're all together like that it's creepy that they're all thumbs too who made like like they're not different fingers they're just all thumbs in the process like the plant that makes these or wherever they're made oh dear god i wonder if the people who work at the plant that makes these or wherever they're made oh dear god i wonder

if the people who work at the plant also wear the thumbs to make it easier oh my gosh hogs in her maybe this person who says best looking thumbs maybe they're just self-conscious about their thumbs and wanted uh some swap some replacement thumbs honestly maybe maybe uh best look maybe they just wanted a thumb on each finger Some replacement thumbs. Honestly, maybe. Get some compliments on them. Maybe. Best look. Maybe they just wanted a thumb on each finger. True. You know? I'm all thumbs.

We already have a thumb on each finger. They went on each hand. I was like, well, most people already have that. Five thumbs on each hand. On average, more people have that than not. You know what's that saying? He's all thumbs. I'm all thumbs.

Yeah. And he is. That sounds gross. Literally. I don't know what the context is of being all thumbs yeah and he is is that sounds literally gross yeah i don't know what the context is of being all thumbs but i don't want i don't want that okay so my this is actually my last review uh this is of a t-shirt but then i have some t-shirt examples because i was very curious what kind of t-shirts you can buy on a place like Wish. So this first one I have a review of. This shirt says, holy enough to pray for you, hood enough to swing on you.

Oh, jeez. It says short sleeve, personality, patterned shirt, man and women, casual t-shirt for lovers. Sorry, that got me i was i was hung up on uh on personality shirt but for lovers really took a turn and it's it's the photo for it is it's just the like the pink shirt with that text and some sandals in the corner it looks like a succulent it's very like boho-like. Yeah, it looks like an Etsy shop post. Yeah. So guess how much for this t-shirt? $15.

$4. Okay. Oh, wait, I forgot. Sorry, it was called five-piece set fake soft thumb tip finger for lovers. I forgot. It's like when you add in bed to all your fortune cookies. Weirdly, that makes it make more sense to me.

Yeah. Honestly, you probably wouldn't have even asked like bed to fortune cookie for lovers for lovers to wish products yikes meat grinder for lovers um freddy costume for lovers honestly it actually adds a lot of context it does it makes it weirdly better more sensical um so here's a review of this holy enough to pray for you hood enough to swing on you shirt with my boho sandals this is so stupid okay this is uh this is by kathy it's a one star four star four star love this shirt it expresses the fact that i am a work in progress and don't okay okay okay kathy i think i want to keep a wide berth it's scary it's like i don't need your prayers i don't need your violence i'm not really sure

what you're all about but i'm so glad you're working on you i wonder if anyone reads that shirt i don't i don't think anyone reads that shirt looking at you and thinks wow that's a work in progress wow just go in places you know like is this a sign that you're embracing that you're a work in progress i don't know that you're working on yourself i can't really tell it seems like you'd wear that only if you were pretty proud of the fact exactly yes it seems like they have accepted how their personality yeah It seems like they have accepted their personality. Yeah, it seems like they're pretty happy where they are. Do you want these t-shirts now? Yeah.

Now or later? Let me see how much I've left. Okay. They're terrible, so not appropriate either, of course. Okay. I have quite a few left, so I don't know. What do you want to do? You go ahead.

Okay, okay. Let's get a break from the shirts. So this was sent in by Sarah, she, her, hers, way back in 2019, actually. And I just searched our inbox to see if anyone had sent any. Smart. This one is disturbing, so just a warning. It's called Halloween Horror Props, Bloody Hand, Haunted House, Party Decoration, Scary Hand, Finger, Leg, Foot. For lovers.

Scary Hand, Finger, leg, and foot. That is worse. That's worse than the thumbs. It's way worse because these are like mutilated bloody. Yeah, they actually are trying to make it look like they were removed from a person. In a violent fashion. They're very brutal and like covered in blood. What would a not violent removal be?

Well, I imagine not like... I mean, some of these have the bone is jacked out of it. Okay. And some of them have fingers missing. I couldn't see that closely. I'm sorry. I understand now. Blood all over it.

I imagine in a hospital setting, it wouldn't be quite this messy. But, you know, I don't know. Let's not find out i will say this has uh over 1500 reviews so it's clearly a popular product so this is a one-star view by david picture is deceiving thanks for sending me the worst foot you had we are going to have a short relationship end of review what the worst foot you had yeah thanks a lot as if they have what they took one look at David and said not worth it

not worth a good foot yeah give him a bad foot sounds like their relationship started off on a bad foot oh my god. That's pretty good, Sandy. Thank you. Yeah, we're going to...

We didn't pause for that one either. Like, pause the... Because usually we're like, oh, let's come up with a joke. Pause. Oh, sure. Yeah, that one actually happened naturally. Organically. Kind of like how when I brought up in the last episode my testicles.

Right. That was so organic. Just like this. Right. That was so organic. Just like this. Weird. That's so crazy how that just happens. That is weird. Alexander, next thing you know we'll be talking about transubstantiation again. Wow.

So, yeah, some reviews said they sent me four feet and no hands. Like, there was just a lot of weird stuff was going on. What kind of person did you get this off of? But shockingly, David, I guess, got one of the worst feet they had. How do you know? I don't. I don't know. That's the best part, is how would you know that your foot is worse than the others?

Yeah, there's no way to know. But you know what? Things ended pretty quickly after that i would say that was so he was planning on a long fruitful business venture with wish oh but that that fake bloody foot wasn't good oh wait how much do you think it costs for oh yeah um five dollars i'm really trying my best you know to think of the mind i just typed in all that finger leg foot okay how much did you guess five dollars three dollars okay wow yeah for all the all those body parts amazing i know incredible sometimes they even will send you a finger so that's cool i guess

should i do you want me to just get my t-shirts yeah i'm disturbed by this foot thing so i'm gonna disturb you some more so here are the shirts that you can buy on wish uh i typed in i think inappropriate shirts or something like naughty shirts or something oh no uh so here's what we got. This was the first one and led me into a bit of a rabbit hole. I only have four or five. This is like me and my blankets on Amazon. Yeah, no, exactly.

Here we go. This shirt, it's a gray shirt and in big letters, all caps on the front and says, I deserve to be kissed every day on my vagina. Oh my God. And kissed in vagina. Oh, my God. And kissed and vagina, the font is red while the rest is white. Oh, no.

How much would you pay for this? God, I'd pay any amount for that. What about, let's say $6. $25. No, are you kidding me? The last one was $4. Christina, and this is sold out. 253 store ratings.

Okay, so not all for this product. I don't like that at all. Sold out, this product. I mean, I could see it as a gag gift at a bachelorette party. I could see that ever. But anyway, here's the next one. Also, like alternating red and white font for some reason. Kind of, sort of wish I was choking on your dick right now.

That's absurd. Like, there's some, like, weird, like, goofy. Is somebody trolling these people, like, who don't speak English? And they're just trolling them and saying, put this on a shirt. Like, how does these people like who don't speak english and they're just trolling them and saying put this on a shirt like how does this happen i don't know holy crap this next one is a tank though a tank well that changes everything it's great and then kind of like that cutesy uh cursive not cursive but it's like what's that brand that uh sells all those cookie containers with writing on them what you know what i mean cookie containers they sell all sorts of it's some woman's a woman oh oh oh oh uh ray ray and ray dunn ray dunn ray dunn so it's similar font i I think, to the Ray-Dum. Ray-Dum. Oh, Freudian slip.

No, that wasn't. Freudian slip. You'll understand why I said that, actually, in a second. It was not because of the word dumb. And it just says, I heart cum on this tank. Oh my god. I feel like Ray-Dun's going to sue. I'm so sorry, Ray-Dun.

God. I don't think you made this. And then one more. This is my favorite. This is... How much was the tank? Oh, $21. Oh my God.

That one was not sold out, though, I don't think. So y'all can get on it. It's still available. And there was all sorts of I heart different tanks, like I heart anal, I heart penis. You know, this is all. I heart penis. Maybe that one I made up. Okay, here, this one is also kind of like a cute, looks like handwritten font a little bit.

Oh, boy. It's pink on a, what looks like a navy shirt or a black shirt. And it's a nice neon pink. And it says, fill up my butt and call me come dumpster oh my god oh like from far away you'd think it's some like one of those like a mom shirt it looks like a teeny bopper yes um oh like they should put it on that same backdrop Didn't have enough coffee today Oh my god, coffee now, wine later So it's weirdly

It's like very funny If it were satire But I don't think it is I don't think it is either This one is sold out You can buy a really nice handmade shirt On Etsy for that amount That says the same thing Support your local Etsy for that amount. That says the same thing.

Support your local Etsy artist that is willing to write, fill up my butt and call me cum dumpster on a t-shirt. I cannot believe that that exists on a shirt. I had to read them. You know, I had no choice. You didn't have to. I had no choice. And especially because every time you use that word, our dad tends to happen to listen

to that episode. True, true. He's good at that and brings it up in public i just we need that extra listen you know we do need that one download yeah um speaking of all of this uh can i use the bathroom quick before we move on okay well xandy now that you're back from the bathroom uh i'm so excited to read you this next product close my computer and just deal with whatever you are throwing my way. Well, I'm glad that you already know it's something you'll have to deal with. Because the name of this product is 30 milliliter novelty liquid fart gag. Oh, no. Prank joke spray can stink bomb smelly stinky gas.

For lovers? What? For lovers. How could you forget? Actually, the for lovers part comes up here. Because on the bottle it says stinky ass spray for lovers. That's where I add For lovers. How could you forget? Actually, the for lovers part comes up here because on the bottle it says stinky ass spray for lovers. That's where I add for lovers. Okay, I see, I see.

Stinky ass spray for lovers. And I'm going to show you this because it's probably the most heinous photo I've ever seen. And it says, smells like a stinky ass. And there's a poop. That's a poop? That's a poop? There's a poop kind of. Wait, the poop is farting? This is meta.

The poop is farting and he's cracking himself up. So basically this is, if you imagine a poop farting, this is what this product smells like. Yeah. Weirdly very clear advertising. The poop also has like hairs coming out of it. This whole thing is gnarly at best and it says smells like a stinky ass is the slogan of this product um i don't know what else to tell you except that i have a one-star review here i'm sorry it's a two-star review by

kirsten does this thing cost uh oh yeah how much does this cost a dollar it cost three jesus there's no rhyme or reason um so kirsten left a two-star review of stinky ass spray uh and her review says packaging leaked no when i tell you i laughed out loud how embarrassing would it be if you shared a like a package room with other if you're in a part one with other residents package and it leaks everyone's waiting for you to pick it up smells in the room and they will like can see you pick it up and bring it that i mean before that happens i assume someone would want to dispose of it before it even got that far i assume it would go in a special place and they would wait to see who comes to pick it up yeah so can be monitored for illicit activity or something.

Arrest them for public indecency. Yeah. I will say that they are fortunate in that a lot of the reviews said it smelled like nothing. There were a lot of once reviews saying it didn't even have a smell. Probably because it leaked on the way there. So I'm hoping... Until all the smell is gone. I'm hoping that this person had the same issue.

Oh, that would be nice. Of all times where you don't want your product working, it's this time. Because there definitely were five-star views that said, oh, it worked just as intended. Oof. God, that is brutal. Oof. Anyway, so that was that. I'm definitely going to post these pictures on Instagram.

So this is another one sent in by Sarah, but I put it here because it is a redemption. And this is a review of Wolf Love Home Doormats Top Fabric and Rubber Doormat Bathroom Welcome Mat. And it is sort of a... What? For lovers. For lovers. Come on. It's our bit.

You got to keep it going. Run into the ground. Two wolf moon sort of welcome mat. Two... Okay. So wolf lovers. Wolf lover type thing. And it's a doormat.

And this is a five starstar review by Tanya. Gosh. The picture you show is nothing like actually seeing the real picture. In fact, it's awesome. Clapping emoji. I will display this on my wall because it's too beautiful to walk on. I want another. End of review.

Amazing. Okay. She just thought this was art. I'm speechless. how much is it speechless for such quality probably six dollars uh it's three wow what a deal i know to put to put directly on your wall for art you know it's really special hey it makes me happy that people are enjoying these things you know because it feels a lot of these products feel very dystopian and kind of creepy like the fact how much did you guess originally six i'm sorry it was six dollars again are you serious i screwed it up you're just lying to make me look bad and then feeling guilt or something the problem is these are screenshots

and i have the prices of the ones that are not screenshots listed it's all very confusing um i know my i know what i well i know good art clearly do what it costs uh good art and so yeah it's too beautiful to even stand on can you imagine you go over there and you try to wipe your feet. And she's like, no! No! That's artwork! I'm just happy that people are enjoying some of their stuff. Because this stuff is so creepy a lot. A lot of it is so creepy. And I look at it and think, there's no way someone can get enjoyment out of this cheap thing.

There's no care into it or whatever. Which is, I don't know what you're paying for. The fact that people can find enjoyment and put meaning into it especially with those wedding bands oh yeah you get a free wedding band but it means something to you hey that's fantastic finger green okay yeah maybe maybe just be careful because we don't know what's in there um okay this is the rest of it it's just a quiz for you oh good to guess how much these items are you know i'm good at this yeah you are weirdly good at this okay so the first one um is a and i'm going to show you a photo this is called donkey three-piece salt and pepper shaker set brown for lovers it's a picture of it um can you see that it's kind of i don't know what i'm looking at but i see it it's a donkey

and then there's a salt and pepper shaker in it okay i thought what is on the donkey's back so instead of the donkey being the salt and pepper shaker it just holds it on its back but i'd say this is like 11 20 wow i know i know And this one I promise I wrote down accurately. Okay, I believe in it. I'll believe in it. Okay, now there's a multi-purpose gold butter knife, which cracked me up because it was called a multi-purpose butter knife. Okay.

But apparently what it does is you can slice butter. No. I know. There's no way it has more purposes than that. I don't believe it. And you can... Spread butter? No, that would be crazy. No, has more purposes than that. I don't believe it. And you can... Spread butter? Don't...

No, that would be crazy. No, it doesn't do that. Okay. It's like crinkled edges so you can scrape the butter into like little curly cues. Yeah, yeah. And then it also has a little like circle where you can like scoop butter. Ew, what the heck? I don't know, but it don't know but it's gold and

it's a multi-purpose gold butter knife how much do you think this one costs two dollars $4.99 oh i didn't see i hadn't seen a 99 cent until this one interesting how much did you guess two dollars and now uh there's this car this is what the title of this car. $4.99. This one is called Car Full of Rubber Chickens Auto Sunshade. There it is. This is a sunshade that you put in your front windshield. That makes it look like chickens are in your car.

That makes it look like rubber chickens. Rubber chickens specifically. In your car. That makes it look like rubber chickens. Rubber chickens specifically. In your car. Okay. How much do you think this costs? I'll say $4. This one's $27. Okay.

I don't know. Maybe I'm bad at this. I feel like it's impossible to be good at this. It's so difficult because it makes no sense. And then Sarah sent this one in as well. This is the last one that I'll give you. So this product is called Natural Pearl Vacuum Pack Oyster. Pearls best for promotion birthday wedding. Six to ten pearls per oyster.

What? And here's a picture. That's terrible. It's disturbing. This is what those people use. Yes. In those freaking Facebook live videos. Yep. And it's at MLM. Those pearl parties. It's disturbing. This is what those people use in those freaking Facebook Live videos. And it's at MLM.

Those pearl parties. The pearl parties. And it's like a multi-level marketing company where if you get pearls and you can spend money to put them in jewelry and stuff. Yep. And it's like, wow, I pried open this oyster and found this neon pink magenta pearl. Who would have thought it's so rare measure it on camera in front of you and show it off like wow this is such a big one and then they say oh for only 15 more dollars you can have this put on a beautiful chain to wear around your neck

yikes anyway these uh this weird vacuum sealed uh oysters with fake pearls potentially real oysters which is what yeah that's disturbing scary yeah with uh fake pearls uh i'm going to guess for lovers for lovers is uh six dollars it's one dollar no yes i did not expect that yeah um and you can choose the size oh there is only one size six to ten piece pearls um i want to show you also just, there's a picture here. I'm going to text it to you. Of like the bounty of pearls you can find in one of these oysters. It's really incredible how bountiful these oysters are. Ew.

These are so disturbing. Ew, ew, ew. They look like jelly beans. And somebody commented or left a review on Star being like, the pearl wasn't under the membrane like a normal oyster. So something strange is going on here. I think maybe this neon green pearl didn't really come from an actual oyster. Like in this case, they clearly just stuffed them in there it's disturbing because there are

methods of forcing an oyster to grow a pearl to grow like a real pearl yeah because okay i don't know much about it but it yeah it has something to do with um so to make the fake pearls it's like a defense mechanism for the oyster and And it like creates this hardened pearl. Yeah. But yeah, so this is something else. It does say, notice, oysters are non-edible. Please do not eat. Could you imagine if someone did?

Jesus. Okay. I'd bite those pearls first thinking they're jelly beans. I would create my very own clam volcano oh dear god no no uh yikes put them in the water to clear the smell for about five minutes and then use a professional knife to open oh that gold knife of the gold butter wow it makes so much sense now but yeah yeah, Alexander, it's just disturbing. I don't like it.

Anyway, so people were very upset about how they were a little suspicious. No. But this might not be a real oyster. So that's that that I got for you today. Should we do the challenge? I'm ready ready for it that was quite an overwhelming theme that was a lot yeah wow um and that again only scratched the surface that's what was so crazy it's like never-ending stuff on this website apparently the app i haven't used the app oh neither did i but when people have emailed us about it whoops oh that would have been interesting no next time they when people have emailed us about it the app whoops oh that would have been

interesting no next time they uh people have emailed us about wish and have said like oh it's this app and blah blah blah so i think a lot of people only know it as the app i didn't know it as an app the screenshots that sarah sent um actually were of the app and it looks like they have sales so like oh dear this oyster is on sale at least when she looked at for 166 1.66 but the original price pre-sale was 15 so it looks like they try to kind of scam you in that way too of like only one dollar and it used to be 15 you know yeah it's just shady uh so this review, I'm sorry. So this challenge that you gave me came from our friend Nick.

Yes. Who was in the car with you or on vacation with you? This was while we were in Atlanta. Yeah, we just had a friend's trip. And Nick, I don't even know what the context was, but Nick said it. And I thought, and I told him, please send it in. Yes. Because I'm going to forget. But guess what? I didn't forget. That's incredible. And he didn please send it in yes because i'm gonna forget but guess what i didn't forget that's incredible and he didn't send it in to no well not yet i don't think he

knew that i was like immediately i wasn't saying immediately but um he's probably been spending the last few days crafting the perfect email to send us true just to make sure it really like hits the mark um so nick suggested reviews of a place where someone mentions having the same name as the location. So I like your last one went a lot of fun ways. Okay. And we had one before where, I mean, of course, last week, someone name dropping without context. And then in the past, though, we had ones where people were related to either the

staff member owner no it was related right it was uh if they were named after a place really yes because i did one i did a challenge where um it said someone was named after the location oh okay and so there were places where it was like i was named after the server tanya oh yeah in this case i was thinking more like someone named michael reviewing michael exactly and that was a suggestion you gave i was so so bummed because i could not find any really michael's reviews but i did have a lot of reviews to sit through sift through and what do you search for michael exactly that was the part that was a struggle so i looked up michael's i looked up claire's i looked up sam's club i looked up quite a few smart there were a lot of name ones but uh most of the luck i had was with places that were smaller and just happened

to have a first name so the first one i have here is sam's cable car lounge and this is a one-star view by sam where is this located this is in the united kingdom let me make sure i get the right place just kidding this is in san francisco california where famously cable cars are so this is of sam's Cable Car Lounge by Sam. One star. My name is Sam. Parentheses. Really? I don't believe it. I still don't believe it.

My name is Sam. Really? And I'm disappointed. $11.75 for a small beer. The bar staff are friendly, but why wouldn't they be? They get some nobody-knows-how-much of the 20% service charge. Do a little research, and very good beer and a 5-10 minute walk can be found for $6,

$7, or $8. If you walk to the Irish bar around the block, it's $9, which is a fair amount. $12 plus $3 tax and tip is not. End of review. Um... That went from... i don't know the interesting that how relevant oh wow also named sam and then why did you even bring that up yeah and also the way he started my name

is sam and i'm disappointed sounds like he's at an aa meeting like hi Sam you know um I'm sorry you had a bad time at your namesake location uh but like but they Sam didn't even say that's why they went like it wasn't like oh I went because my name's Sam it was just like oh yeah my name's Sam really and I'm disappointed as if that's makes it worse. Also, like we can see your name, Sam, because it's your username. You don't have to announce it, but I'm glad they, I'm glad. Oh,

so this is a three-star review of a place called Glenn's restaurant in Wilkesboro, North Carolina. Uh, this is a review, a three-star review by Glenn. I'm so good at this. The title on TripAdvisor of this review is well yeah i ate here

we have the same name see this is what i'm thinking this is what it's more like it that's the stuff okay three stars sure i stopped here because my name is also glenn it was lunchtime so i went inside and gave it a shot service was good i got the glenn burger which is a two patty sandwich with fries pretty good overall but not something you can't get better in other places but not named glenn glenn yeah come on glenn i feel like glenn is holding this to too high of a standard yeah that's just rude i like these old school kind of places so i would try it again restrooms are outside in the back so a big hassle to get to them. This place opened in 1963, so it has been here forever, and it looks

it. If you are into old school places and don't mind the grit and polish missing and trekking out back to the bathroom, you will be fine. Otherwise, don't do it. End of review. Jeez. So Glenn has some high standards. Choice words for the other Glenn.

For Glenn Sr., yes. I feel like if you work at a place that is named after a person, it must be so annoying when customers with the same name come in. Oh my God. Because they probably announce it all the time. Especially if it's like something,

not even Glenn, but like Sam's or like something very common and you probably get it a lot. It happens all the time. Yeah. I remember not to immediately put someone we know on blast, but Alyssa's dad used to go to,

so his name is Dave Evans and he would go to Bob Evans and be like, oh, Bob Evans. I don't know. He'd say like my father. It's at least a dad joke, right? Yeah. But let's see. Oh, so speaking of michael's i have another place here called

michael's pizza and wings in weehawken new jersey and this one is a five star by mike s this place is amazing sure i may be biased because my name is michael but the food is delicious 10 out of 10 5 out of 5 100 end of review heck yeah mike and i gotta say i think he might be biased because this way says two and a half stars out of five on yelp which is hard to get out of a lot of reviews and like half of the five stars are written by people named mikeael i was gonna say he's like maybe i'm biased i'm like well you are one of the only five star views so you might be uh so not to put again another place on blast but because i don't have any clue um i'm sure it's totally fine but yeah you i mean he was one of the only people who's putting them on blast

only because your name's not michael i know. And I wish, I wish I could say. The only name I have is a haunted car, you know? Okay. So, this one I'm excited about. Because this is of Goldbrook Covered Bridge, a.k.a. Emily's Covered Bridge in Stowe, Vermont. This already sounds very wholesome. Okay, maybe not. I don't know.

I think, what can you say bad about a covered bridge except maybe, I don't know, it just seems like a kind of quaint. Never mind. Yeah, I'll stop digging my hole. Okay, yeah, you stay in your hole. We'll see where you, we see if we pull you out or not. This is a three-star view of Emily's Bridge by Emily. I found this as an attraction online in Stowe and needed to go because my name is Emily, so of course I had to check it out. I didn't know it had a story behind it until a woman that happened to be there mentioned to us that it was known to be haunted. I would have liked a sign or something explaining its name. It was cool to see, though, since it's so old.

End of review. Here's a five-star review of Emilyily's bridge just to give some more context there also is a sign there but i think it's probably hard to see okay um but here's here's the five star by joe really cool history here the take of this bridge is a young woman named emily planned to elope with her love their meeting place was this same bridge but when he didn't show, Emily, filled with despair, hanged herself from the rafters of the Goldbrook Bridge. Some really nice picture taking here. I wish it were nicer out as it was pouring rain,

but it didn't put a damper on our excursion. Great bridge to visit with a lot of history and folklore around it. End of review. Five stars. Five stars, great. Literally said, hanged herself from the rafters. Some really nice picture taking. Wowza. Yeah, hanged herself from the rafters. Some really nice picture taking.

Wowza. Yeah. I thought that gave me whiplash. Yeah. And the photo on TripAdvisor is very creepy of this bridge. It's kind of like a black and white, like one lane covered bridge in the woods. And cover bridges are interesting. Yeah.

They have just kind of a spooky vibe. If you're telling people it has like a ghostly history. But I just love that Emily went and was like, it's fine. I'm like, well, it's a covered bridge. I don't know what you expected. I'm glad Emily didn't hear the folklore behind it, actually. I know. I'm glad she didn't find that little sign in the back.

So that's disturbing. Now I have a review. This is, I think, my last one. Let me check. Yes, this is my last one, but I think my favorite. This is a review of the city of Arvin, California. And this is a four-star review by Arvin. Fun.

Who seems to be from Lexington, Kentucky, as far as his bio says. So Arvin says says four stars there was one time i passed the city and i was like so it's a colon with an o because my name is so close to the name of the city where i'm currently residing there is a neighboring city in kentucky where there are a bunch of people with the last name arvin i do not want to think i am some evil villain out of james bond but i wish to transport them all and drop them off here and have all Then there's an O underscore O face. But the restaurants around here are all amazing and the demographic is mostly Mexican food places and I love Mexican food. I just wish the economy and infrastructure could be as good as other California cities.

Do I see a future Undercover Boss episode? They did one for Cincinnati and Pittsburgh. I've been following the high school football team. Go Bears! What? I don't know. Arvin, I love Arvin. This is amazing.

Arvin, what's happening? Oh my god. I've been following the high school football team. Go Bears. My favorite college football team is the Cal Bears. Ooh, I will keep trying to send deals I see under events to this city and hopefully help the economy that way. Got a new life's mission.

Got a purpose. Not that you didn't have one before, but a nice new one. Throw those ones out the window because this one seems to be priority. Too many people from Bakersfield are cramping this city's style, though. They are ones that seem to attend most of them. We need more people from this city attending the events. LOL. End of review.

I love it. Arvin is on a mission uh i love it arvin i love is on a mission i love it to change this random town that happens to have the same name as him into a booming metropolis exactly the same name right yeah that's true so his uh name is ab so i don't know like oh so arvin or maybe it's spelled differently but yeah arwin maybe i don't But I mean, yeah, not even the exact same spelling, but he just felt like a kinship with the city and wanted to really change it, turn it into a bustling metropolis. Very focused on the economy as a bright future as a politician in Arwen. I think so, too, especially because he only gave it four stars. He was like, this city has great potential, but we have not reached it yet yeah you know uh and wow i mean

the high school just that he follows the high school football team and he lives in kentucky this is so this whole thing is bizarre bizarre and i love it um so arvin what a fun review what a bizarro and hilarious review. And again, yeah, then I looked up Claire's and, you know, Sam's Club, all that stuff. But these are the ones I got. So that's it. Amazing. That was fun.

Yay. This is fun as I expected. I know. This is a good one. Wish. And yeah, just a lot of chaos. I will say, I think next episode is going to be one of our best. Okay, Alexander has been kind of dropping hints that the board game episode is going to be one of his favorites of all time. So I'm curious to see what he does.

I have like a mini trick up my sleeve, but really mini. So I don't know if I don't know. I don't know what he's... Mine's just... Let's say I do... I run the gamut of content that our listeners have known to come and love. Okay. Yeah. So we'll talk to you then.

All right. Well, we'll see you soon. I'm already nervous. We're recording it right now. Yeah. So wish us luck. 40 seconds.